From Me To You...

I have been watching our robotic vacuum cleaner a lot recently, we named him Gary after the snail in SpongeBob SquarePants. Now that the kids are away at college I moved him upstairs to give my carpets a regular cleaning without worrying about it. (Also there is much less chance that he will get caught on the detritus of teenage life now that the kids are away.)

The vacuum is supposed to clean on a somewhat random pattern and send himself home when he needs to recharge or empty his bin. The thing is, Gary seems to spend most of his time trying to get home, circling the same area over and over, bumping into walls and furniture. The more he circles, the more I am tempted to pick Gary up and place him on his base to cut out the hours of mindless meandering. It wont help though, if I return Gary to his base without letting him find his own way there then he will not learn how to get home next time.

The parallels to raising children are remarkable. You watch them grow and make mistakes, trying to find their way in life, turning on the same axis over and over again. As tempting as it is to just tell them how to achieve their goals, or even worse, find the solution for them, that teaches them nothing. I take that back, it teaches them that someone will always be there to pick up the slack and solve their problems. The trick to successful parenting, in my mind, is to allow your children to find their own solutions. I am not saying that you can’t help them or guide them, but the value lies in learning that things can be done by yourself, and the pride in knowing you can do things for yourself is immeasurable.

Having said that, I just found my vacuum in the master closet, he ran out of power trying to get back to his base by himself. Just like kids, if they really fail, we will always place them gently back on their base with a reassuring pat and some encouraging words. “You’ll get it next time, kid.”

Catherine Uretsky Editor, CB Living Magazine info@estrellapublishing.com 623.398.5541