H2H Interview: "I always leave the jail inspired."

"I always leave the jail inspired."

Mark Rogers, Acting Director, Human to Human

"Mary is a wonderful example of 'being church' outside the walls of our sanctuaries. Human to Human is privileged to support Mary in this mission." - Mark Rogers

In early 2018, Bishop Fisher appointed Mary D’Alessandro as the Chaplain for the Western Massachusetts Regional Women’s Correctional Center in Chicopee. Since that time, Mary has been supporting women in that facility with group meetings, individual meetings, prayer, classes, reentry assistance, and more.

Mary’s ministry is partially supported by Human to Human. It has been over four years since Mary began this ministry as the appointed chaplain. Mark Rogers, acting Director of Human to Human, had a conversation with Mary. She shared where the program is right now and where it may be going.

Mark Rogers (MCR): Can you tell us why you do what you do?

Mary D’Alessandro: Well, there is a need and I feel called to help fill that need. I love listening to the women. I hear about their past, I feel their resilience, learn about their hopes and their desire to do better. I never leave the jail uninspired.

MCR: Why is that?

Mary: These women simply want to be listened to in a non-judgmental way. When that happens, they open up and begin to articulate things about their life. They talk about their fears, their challenges, and their hopes for the future. As they say, if you can mention it, you can manage it. It is truly inspiring to see that happen.

MCR: What services do you offer the women and how has that changed over the years?

Mary: One of the most popular things I provide to them is a book called "Free on the Inside: Finding God Behind Bars" by Gretta Ronningen.

Before COVID-19, I used to do a lot of group meetings and classes. I would give rides to a woman’s new location on release and things like that. I do more one-on-one meetings now. The most frequent question I ask is, “May I pray with you on that?”

I am beginning to provide transportation again and am leading a class called Self Discovery. We discuss values, strengths and weaknesses, and relationships.

Through a program called Love in a Backpack, started by St. John’s in Ashfield, we are able to provide a backpack to women upon their release that has things like toiletries, snacks, underwear, feminine products, etc. What I have come to realize is that Love in a Backpack is about a lot more than the “stuff” in the bag. This backpack is often all they have in the world upon release from the prison. It is theirs—all theirs. It represents a new beginning for them. I had one woman once say to me, “This is like Christmas morning! No, this is better than any Christmas morning I have ever had.”

MCR: Do you offer religious services for the women?

Mary: Yes, on occasion. Sometimes it happens spontaneously. When I visit the units on Sunday mornings women may ask to meet as a group on the rec deck and we will join together in prayer. It’s always striking to me that they seldom pray for themselves but they consistently pray for one another. It’s a humbling experience.

MCR: Do you have any success stories you can share?

Mary: A success is anytime that these women and I talk, connect, and learn about each other as human beings. I don’t often have a lot of contact with the women after their release, but one moment stands out. I was in the parole office with a newly released woman when someone I had worked with came in. I had not seen her in the year since her release. She was there to have her ankle bracelet removed after successfully completing parole. She was so happy. We hugged and she told me she was drug free, working, and getting her kids back. She shouted, “I’ve done it!”

MCR: That kind of meeting must make it all worth it.

Mary: It does, but I can honestly say I have never had a day I spent with these women when I wished I had not come.

MCR: Mary, thank you for all that you do. It cannot be easy, but we all see your commitment and the value you bring to these women.

Mary: I am in a unique position. I am not a corrections officer, I am not a counselor, I am not even their friend. But when they are listened to by someone who does not define them by their worst day or their addiction, it truly matters. They are women. They are sisters, daughters, wives, and mothers. My hope is that they can begin to articulate that what they want is a better life for themselves and their families, and that they can start to believe it is possible. ♦

Find out more: www.humantohuman.org