e2 #246

Deputy: Mariah Hedges deputylifestyle@ epigram.org.uk

Boys who like boys who like girls who like girls With roughly 14 gay clubs or bars in Bristol, the once tiny Bristol gay clubbing (‘Glubbing’) scene is rapidly becoming a popular pastime, for the gay and straight alike. Friendly atmosphere, cheap drinks, and perfect for that time when a darker, sweatier version of ASS library just isn’t remotely appealing. Out on Frogmore street, we asked some glubbers to vote the top 5 Gay hangouts :

OMG : 9/10 Bristol’s most highly rated gay bar, is perched conveniently on Frog’s Lane, just off Park Street. At OMG, a fiver gets you two cocktails. I’m not sure many Park Street bars can easily boast this kind of deal. On top of this, my self-proclaimed GBF received his cocktail with an alarmingly charitable ratio of spirit to mixer. (I’m not a frequented Daiquiri drinker, but as far as I’m aware, rum isn’t conventionally the only ingredient.)

So, the alcohol may be served straight, but the rest is the anti-bunker. There are salacious public dance offs (strip-offs) to a Britney vs Rhianna spat, all lead by a charismatic Man in Drag. This must surely have you curious if nothing else. With charitable drinking, we were already half way to being bamboozled and its not hard to get the rest of the way, with 99p Jagerbombs on offer. The bar is nicely accessible, without feeling empty: I have not lost anyone, or waited hours to be served. I have enough money for a round, because we havn’t paid a penny entry. One con: No cloak room - so put on your alcohol jacket, and practice your Macarena.

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Editor: Imogen Palmer lifestyle@ epigram.org.uk

Wonky : 8.5/10

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If you want to avoid hearing intoxicated versions of ‘Born this Way’ resonating in all keys throughout the night; try Wonkys. Wonky’s is Bristol’s longest running alternative gay night, hosted at Basement 45 on the first Saturday of every month. Set over five levels with two bars and two dance floors, this is one to try if the cheese doesn’t please.

Flamingos : 8/10 Flamingos pride themselves as the only gay superclub in the South-West. Flamingos boasts two main arenas, a quiet bar and two private smoking areas. For £1 entry on Fridays, and £1 for any spirit and mixer, it is certainly worth it for a night of eclectic music and disco balls.

The Queenshilling (Q) : 7/10 Recently renovated, it attracts a young crowd, and holds the Mr. Gay UK heats for Bristol every year. It has a large dance-floor and resident DJs. It is also on Frogmore Street just round the corner from OMGs. So, if you don’t fancy queueing on Whiteladies, the Queenshilling offer free entry on Monday nights in February and March, so you have nothing to lose if you’re looking for a few drinks and a dance.

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Bar Icon : 6/10 If you’ve been and done the above, why not try Bristol’s newest gay bar, Bar Icon? “Bar Icon” is a popular new venue with drinks from £1.23 on Mondays. For student night, again, Thursdays are best. Ultimately, if you’re looking for a cheaper night, inclusive atmosphere and a place where the males know how to command the dance floor, then one of these is worth a shot. Lets embrace the ‘glubbing’ community.

Francie Clark

Love is in the air, apparently

e2 is brought to you by

It’s just over a week until the romantic high point of the year and e2 is here to help.

who will meet Thursday 16th February at 1.30pm in The White Bear

We’ve handpicked the best hints and tips to make your Valentine’s Day run as smoothly as possible. From where to go and what to wear we’ve got it sorted.

So whether you’re a boy/girl who likes boys/girls/both (delete as appropriate) we’ll hold your hand and help you on the way.

No strings though, don’t get the wrong impression.

Lifestyle : Imogen Palmer and Mariah Hedges What’s On : Olivia Stephany

Fashion : Francesca Clayton and Lizzy Bullock

who will meet Tuesday 28th January at 1.00pm in The White Bear

Travel : Verity Stockdale Money : Alex Denne

with e2 editor : Matthew McCrory illustrator : Sophie Sladen

cover illustrated by : Alex Norris

s ’ 2 e

06.02.2012

guide to

Everything you ever needed to know about seducing that special someone is right here

Flirting

After 5 minutes, gently take their FACE in your hands, look them deeply in the eyes and tell them you felt an instant connection the moment you met.

Be memorable! Who cares if you threw up in

{

‘Press your crotch against them to arouse their primal mating instinct.’

}

Stand in the rain outside their house singing an 80’s love ballad with tears streaming down your face.

FLICK your hair. This will leave them feeling overwhelmed.

his drink - you’ll be on his radar.

ot n s ’ t i , ber ll m a e s ’ m t i , Re rize p e h t about t the chase. abou

Tell them about daddy’s Porsche and the chalet in Chamonix. Rich = attractive.

OR Don’t say anything at all. Just stare at them. This will make you seem mysterious.

Add a few of their friends on Facebook, then, when you request them, it looks like

Wear a velcro body suit and take a running jump

you’re part of the same SOCIAL CIRCLE. Make any excuse to touch their face, if

Spray their bag with your signature scent so

there’s an ‘eyelash’ there, linger as you

that they think about you all day.

brush it off.

Drive around with a group of your friends, honking, wolf-whistling and heckling pedestrian fitties. This is a surefire way of getting their attention.

Do absolutely ANYTHING to draw attention to your mouth: lick your lips, apply Vaseline, suck a lollipop, eat a banana... we mean anything.

‘Remember: persistence is key, if you’re not getting results, you’re not trying hard enough.’

Tickle the m. Play fighting is fun.

Use lines like ‘have you got a license?’

‘What for?’ ‘Your guns’. This demonstrates wit and intelligence Tag yourself in the background of some

Eye contact is key. If their pupils get

of their photos. ‘Oh, wow, you were at

bigger when their talking to you, that

that thing too? THIS IS MEANT TO BE!’

means they’re into you or on drugs.

Wear lots of animal print. This will

Go to uni with WET HAIR: this will encourage

get them thinking about your wild,

your crush to imagine you in the shower.

animalistic side.

Deputy: Mariah Hedges deputylifestyle@ epigram.org.uk

Page three boys?

Pornography, it’s safe to say, is rife in our environment. Wherever we look, it’s never difficult to come across a new form of media in which sexual images do their best to entice us to products through sex appeal, or are simply aimed at satisfying that most base of our desires.

Of course, it’s well known that the internet is largely made up of porn, but that’s hardly the only place to find it. Increasingly often, music videos explicitly portray sexual scenes; even the songs themselves are getting filthier: one obvious example that springs to mind being Rihanna, who with her 2010 album Loud, took a quick tour of most sexual stereotypes. Even the relatively respectable medium of the newspaper uses porn to sell, through the immortalised page 3 of the Sun, never failing to show a bare-chested beauty.

These provocative images, however, are aimed at men far more than they are at women. Despite the well-established nature of the page 3 female nudity, a transition to a sexy fella’ regularly on the opening page of a popular newspaper would seem bizarre. While it can be argued that heterosexual porn is something either sex can enjoy, it is often blatantly targeted towards male viewers; internet advertising captions can often involve gang rape and underage school girls. Not that either sex should enjoy these scenes, but if anyone is going to, it’s pretty obvious who will.

Should things be evened out then? Are women unfairly missing out on equally easy access to sexual stimulation? True, there is gay porn out there for those who enjoy it, and it’s not as if all porn is aimed at catering for weird male desires.

In advertising, too, there is an abundance of scantily-clad beautiful men, laying aboard boats on Mediterranean shores, alluring women to go buy their other

halves a certain aftershave just to feel like they are partaking in the nautical experience. Yet the difference in how much of the kinky content is for men is nevertheless stark.

Frankly speaking, this gulf in production is due to a difference in demand. We live in a consumer society, where products are created based on their expected popularity; and girls clearly just aren’t as into porn. This can be put down to the fact that men aren’t that aesthetically pleasing when they are in the buff. : Lets face it, women have less dangly bits. Alternatively, perhaps women are innately less disposed towards what is essentially voyeurism.

In any case, seeking to level the playing field by adding more pornography is, for Alessandra Berti at least (president of Bristol Feminist Society) beside the point.

For Berti, “A page 3 for men is not really the solution. The problem with page 3 is the normalisation of the sexual objectification of women in media which supports the gender inequality in wider society. Objectifying men in turn is not the solution to this problem.”

While a page 3 for men seems rather implausible, the prospect of a page 3 free of pornographic material is less so, with an increasing public condemnation coming from such groups as Turn Your Back to Page 3 – which is putting pressure on the prime minister to consider abolishing the Sun’s right to page 3 nudity alongside the News of the World scandal – and the Anti-Porn Men Project, which has displayed an impressive support amongst males against porn. Is this the end of porn as we know it?

Guy Sephton

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Editor: Imogen Palmer lifestyle@ epigram.org.uk

How to survive the walk of shame We’ve all been there; with bleary eyes and a hazy mind you arouse from sleep after a heavy night to see, foreign curtains, strange wallpaper and an array of pillows and bed throws scattered across the floor.

As your memory of last night slowly returns and your vision begins to focus in on the other person in the bed you won’t have to have Sherlock Holmes’ powers of observation to deduce that, you may well have had a great night; but you’re about to face the dread that dawn brings....the walk of shame. Whether you think of it more as a walk of fame or indeed stride of pride, there is no hiding from the fact that you’re going to stand out like a sore thumb as you make your way down Woodland Road and the hordes heading towards their lectures.

Here are a few style hints and pointers to help disguise your journey home as best as possible.

There are three key areas which will allow you to leave looking as fresh and subtle as possible. The first is to get a jumper or warm top; with the winter months firmly upon us being seen without such an item will only arouse suspicion. The quality of the jumper, coat etc, will depend entirely on their estimation of you, get given a cashmere option and you’ll be laughing all the way home swaddled in its beautiful, unbeatable fibres.

If they’re worldly there may well be jumpers from conquests past still nestled in their wardrobe, here one faces another decision. Go for the jumper and you’ll be best disguised, however you’ll be wearing a past conquest’s top and that could be detrimental to your well being and could stir up some old emotions. So in my opinion, the best option is to disdain this offer and stick to one of their articles of clothing. A cardigan will serve you very well as its harder to notice if the top doesn’t fit once you’ve rolled up the sleeves and left the front undone. If one of these can’t be purloined then a classic blue v neck will see you through the journey home and provide you with excuse enough to see them again as you return it.

Once your wardrobe issues have been addressed head into the bathroom to resolve the hair issue. If she is in a mixed house you’re in luck as there is bound to

be a form of useful hair product upon the shelves..

The benefit however of an all female house is there is bound to be some concealer, a dab of this under your eyes will work wonders on your bags and perk your whole face up. Don’t be sceptical about using skincare products, even if the product is concealer, if applied correctly they can only have an auspicious effect on your look. With your hair back to its glorious norm, obviously don’t spend more than a matter of minutes on it - getting a rep for being overly vain is as detrimental to your game as doing an obvious walk of shame, your appearance should be back to golden The final trick to perfect your walk and enable you to return home with no black marks to your name is to borrow some form of working related equipment. Whether this be a folder, a book or even just a pad of paper and a pen, the fact you will be seen crossing town with an academic based item means that those eyes of scorn shall look straight past, you’ll just be one of the many suffering under the nine o’clock lecture banner.

Harry Todd

06.02.2012

Losers in love If you want to believe the official line, ‘tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all’.

Sounds like an excuse to me, and Tennyson may as well have said, ‘well at least I got some’. Just to prove how wrong he was, and to aid my bruised single soul, I present you with the following cases. I’ve scoured the internet for the best worst losers in love - the sort of people that make loving and losing seem like the most awful life decision you could ever be forced into.

Adele Adele has somehow managed to turn heartache into a weapon of mass destruction. A modern day Miss Havisham, fuelled by jammy dodgers and sausage rolls, Adele insists we continuously validate her heartache.

Hers is a pain so enormous that it warrants constant discussion and two whole albums. Can’t we just get over this now, Adele? We get it, he broke your heart. Well done, but there are bigger fish to fry. The worst thing about this whole sorry affair is the number of copy-cats ‘inspired’ by her range of mournful dirges. In the words of every American girl throughout the nineties - get over it girlfriend.

Romeo and Juliet It’s thanks to this pair that every over-emotional sixth former and her limp-dicked boyfriend think the whole world is against them. It’s easy to forget what really happened with Romeo and Juliet when the story has become its own bastard lovechild. I feel particularly sorry for Juliet, partly because she’s only thirteen, but mostly because of her god awful name. The real tragedy here is that Juliet Capulet was landed with a name that sounds straight from a nursery rhyme. Yes, ok they both kill theselves and it’s, like, so totally upsetting and everything, but with a name like that the girl never stood a chance.

Birdo Birdo’s background is enough to make even Lindsay Lohan look well adjusted. Born in Japan, Mario’s egg spitting enemy is the boyfriend of the Italian plumber’s put upon steed. The dinosaur boys lived in nonwedded bliss (I assume) until they tried to go global. Somewhere in the journey to the West the bow wearing Birdo boy underwent gender reassignment and arrived on our shores as female or with a non-specified gender. This rendered the boys ‘just friends’, but with a snout like Birdo’s and a mutual love of eggs you know they’re getting up to some kinky shit.

Oedipus This guy’s sexploits have gone down in legend. Oedipus proved his top lad status by moving to a new city, solving the riddle of the Sphinx and banging the Queen. Banter, right? After that the carnal adventures of Oedipus took a turn for the worse and the rest, as we know, is tragedy.

After fathering five kids Oedipus realised that he was climbing back in from whence he came. That’s a vagina joke, geddit? Once this motherfucker discovered that he’d, uh, fucked his mother, he gouged his eyes out. Just think of the man points. Lad.

Lucy

(from Take Me Out)

Nobody screams desperate like lovely Lucy from Take Me Out. The terminally, chronically, painfully single lass appeared almost incapable of functioning. Why else would her buzzer remain unbuzzed (if you know what I mean) for almost an entire series. Like an old family dog shitting all over the carpet and stinking out the house, Lucy quickly became the most depressing, embarrassing person to ever grace our screens. Eleven weeks in Lucy was finally put out of her misery. Unfortunately, this ending was only figurative. The same cannot be said for the family dog.

other contenders include, but are not limited to: Graham Norton - With his Irish lilt and successful media career, it’s a small miracle he’s still on the shelf. I guess he’s just waiting for the right girl.

The Little Mermaid - Proof that you can find love. As long as you’re willing to change everything about yourself.

King Kong - A classic ape meets girl story with disastrous results.

Hans Moleman - ‘No-one’s gay for moleman’.

Matthew McCrory

Society Slut Society Slut is open-minded, if you know what I mean.

Very open-minded. I’m a doer. I go for it.

The Society Slut is not a touchy-feely person. Years of being clumsily groped in over-crowded pubs and clubs have taught me that human contact is not all that sickly rom-coms crack it up to be. However, as always, I am not averse to trying new things, even if this means being felt up by a stranger. At least at Massage Soc this is a matter of choice.

WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT. CEASE READING IF YOU ARE AVERSE TO MILD NUDITY, IRRESPONSIBLY MADE PUNS AND THE WORD F*****G.

Misconception one: They would baby you into it. Within the first ten minutes the president was topless on the floor, having almond oil rubbed into her back by the treasurer. There were other options for the more body-conscious which involved chairs and clothes but if you want to jump in at the deep end… well, what do you think the slut did?

I wish I could say it was the first time I’d found myself lying on my front, topless, on the floor of the Student Union with a stranger…oh wait, sorry. That was a dream. In real life the whole thing was pretty fucking weird. But once you got over the naked and started to relax, being massaged and massaging others was rather pleasant. I particularly enjoyed the ridiculous names of some of the moves including ‘crisscrossing’ and ‘percussion’. My body was an instrument and all the right notes were being hit. Following back massage was clothed shoulder massage during which we found out how to detect a knot. What fun, I thought, tension can now get knotted: Ha.

Misconception two: There would be incense, candles and whale music. Don’t ask me why I imagined Massage Soc to be staged like an anniversary night sexy surprise but I did think there would be a bit more ambiance. Apparently they normally have tables, but this session we were classily laid on foam mats on the floor of the Brunel Suite. If you do attend, I’d recommend bringing a towel. Unfortunately the ones provided for those who forgot smelt of the sweat of a thousand nervous massage-ees. To be fair, the normalcy of the room made the whole situation less awkward. Any attempt to enhance the atmosphere might have wildly changed the dynamics, and not necessarily for the better.

Misconception three: It would be a horrendously uncomfortable

and painful experience that would crop up years later in the midst of a particularly gruelling therapy session. It was, shockingly, quite ununcomfortable (is that a word?!) I found out that all it takes is some almond oil and a bit of shoulder rubbing to lubricate social situations, abolishing the need for petty small talk.

For the tactile and needy, Massage Soc is a safe haven. Just don’t go if you have a hairy back. Please.

Invite the slut to your society societyslut@epigram.org.uk

Massa ge Soc Naked : 6/10 Lubric a Bound tion : 8/10 aries : 0/10

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o w t n e h W me one beco

This may come as a shock to some, but boyfriends aren’t just for Valentine’s Day. Rather, Valentines has to be the cringest day of any relationship. It’s all about forced expectations and pressure. It has absolutely nothing to do with how you feel for your other half, but about showing the entire world ‘look I have a boyfriend finally too, yay!’

When I say the entire world I mean the other 15 couples who are frequenting the same restaurant, also drawn in by that Valentine’s Day deal of 3 courses for only 20 pounds! The restaurant is often so overcrowded by similar awkward couples that you spend no time with your actual partner but up close and personal with the overfriendly stranger next to you. Yet my single friends, despite knowing all the clichés, still cry desperately about how they wish they were going to be taken out this v-day. I suppose, it’s the case of the grass is always greener on the other side.

One in a mi

llion

Being single is not about being miserable, however. Valentine’s, is the only day of the year that you are guaranteed that every one that is out is single. See it as a celebration of not having to sit in a dimly lit restaurant, pretending that its comfortable to hold hands while trying to eat spaghetti.

Being single means being able to do what you want, when you want. Yes, it might mean that you are constantly on guard for bumping into a new target, but who ever said that looking good was a bad thing? The unpredictability of it all adds adrenaline to any night as well, rather than knowing that its up to you to take your beloved other half to bed early if they hit the toffee vodkas too hard, you’re free to end up wherever you want. You also know that you won’t be told off for not having bought your 100th set of “sexy-and-naught-panties” or for still wearing the boxers mum gave you for Christmas.

Yet even I, a self-confessed relationship fiend, despite meeting my boyfriend in the second week of fresher’s, (shockingly embarrassing I know. Our love didn’t blossom until a little while later though. Give me some credit, please), can’t think of anything worse than being taken out on v-day. Showing how much you love your boy/girl friend shouldn’t be because of a commercially motivated holiday but be spontaneous and often.

And it is this spontaneity - going on dates, receiving surprise presents, cooking for each other - that makes having a boyfriend so good. Oh, and the unconditional love is a bonus. Despite my initial doubts about gaining a boyfriend I soon realised that the crazy fun just wasn’t as fun (or crazy) without him.

Deputy: Mariah Hedges deputylifestyle@ epigram.org.uk

Valentine’s day - stereotypically the worst day of the year for any singleton. The words “single” and “Valentine’s day” instills images of girl’s crying, looking at their posters of Justin Beiber, while boys power it out on the treadmill and down a yard of vodka in preparation for a long night of sharking.

Relationships mean everything gets a bit more comfortable, and just imagine becoming half a person as you morph into Jessamin. While everyone jumps on the mission-boyfriend-bandwagon it’s way more satisfying to get a high off endorphins by going to the breeding ground of totty - the gym. If you want endless cuddles, fish out one of your old teddy-bears. If you want chocolates and flowers, buy them yourself and you’ll probably end up with something other than co-ops reduced items.

Maybe I am missing out, having spent the majority of university in a relationship, but compared to my friends, despite their causal flings and cheeky kisses in Embargoes on a Friday night, my time is pretty much the same. The only real difference is that at least I know where my drunkard’s mouth has been. Plus, I love eating and sleeping, so I have no objection to finding someone who has the same interests as I do.

Not being tied down to your lazy boyfriend or girlfriend that doesn’t want to get out of bed, the freedom to have as many and as close friends as you want without anyone getting jealous, not having to be stuck in your room skyping every day, what’s not to like!

Boyfriends don’t have to be a ‘drag’; I’ve found having a boyfriend at Uni has only enhanced my experience. Boyfriends aren’t for everyone. I, surprisingly, didn’t come to Uni with the intention of finding my husband; we all know who that girl is. Excuse my cheesiness, but I was lucky enough to meet someone who became my boyfriend and my best friend. Who else would put up with my moaning, accept my flaws and still offer to do the washing up?

Mariah Hedges

At the risk of sounding extremely anti-relationship, why would you want to be dating when you’re at university? Exams, going out, societies - where would they fit in? Yes, people at home might think of you as a three-headed weirdo for being happily single, but at least we’re not the one banging on about what “me and my boyfriend, George” did recently. University is the only socially acceptable time to be single (how many plus one’s have you been invited to recently?).

Lara Kottsieper

Things you only know when... you live by the reduced section £13.89 for fresh strawberries, Aberdeen Angus beef steak and some Pleasuremax condoms? BullSHIT. You need to go to the reduced section.

and what’s more romantic than Sainsbury’s Classic Buttery Mash Potato? £1.50 for the Full Price Fool, 69p if you’re swinging by reduced at 6.04 pm.

I’m going to use Valentine’s Day as an example of how the reduced section is your most useful tool as a money-saving student. Here’s the scenario: It is February the 13th. You have exactly 24 hours before your partner will be sitting opposite you at your candlelit table expecting a romantic Valentine’s Day meal. You’ve already spent 99p on a huge card from Card Factory (size of Valentine’s Day card proportionate to how much you love them) agreed ‘not to do presents this year’ and persuaded against eating out because ‘you can cook a much better steak than the Cow Shed.’ The last step to save money in this tight 2012 is to be tactical with your food shopping.

What more, peppers, onions? Too obvious. Wait around for 10 minutes and at 6.15pm some Sainsbury’s Ready To Roast Mediterranean Vegetables drizzled With Olive Oil will appear nearly quarter price at 75p.

For a task like this I’d recommend Clifton Down Sainsburys. In my five years at Bristol University I’ve found this supermarket to have a consistently reliable reduced section when browsed at the right times. But don’t fall into the trap of hoping there’s going to be all the components needed for this meal waiting for you as you round the meat aisle. :There’s nothing more disappointing than an empty reduced section.

So avoid the heartbreak by using the following guidelines: steak gets added to reduced between 5.15

Flickr: Moff

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Editor: Imogen Palmer lifestyle@ epigram.org.uk

Finally, the most important part of Valentine’s Day, the pudding. Don’t be a jafoole and get excited when you see the small white flags bearing reduced prices planted in the various cakes of the confectionary counter. If you get to the reduced section for bang on 6pm, it’s treat central.

‘No one’s going to be reduced to tears this Valentine’s Day’ and 5.45 pm (weekdays only), usually in packs of 3 for £4.78 which leaves you a good hefty piece of meat to shove in the freezer for a later date.

You’re going to want some other things on that plate

I advise getting there before a crowd gathers in order to stand at the front, shielding all the potential puddings from the eager customers behind until you’ve made your choice. Taste the Difference Belgian Chocolate Fudge Cake would have been £2.25 but you’ll swipe it for a beautiful 99p.

Need beverages? Check out the auxiliary reduced section in the soft drinks aisle where, if very lucky, a damaged reduced bottle of Vino Tinto might await you. Money saved. Grateful Partner. No one’s going to be reduced to tears this Valentine’s.

William Noel Gifton

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Editor: Olivia Stephany whatson@epigram.org.uk

Best of Bristol Unsure where to take your date on Valentine’s Day? Look no further...

1. Under the Stars, Narrow Quay

Having reopened following a refurbishment, Under the Stars, the unique floating café bar moored down by the Bristol Harbourside, is back and better than ever. With open mic every Thursday and a starry-eyed February packed with romantic film classics being shown every Wednesday, who could resist a cuddle and a bit of Casablanca? ‘Kiss me, kiss me as if it were the last time’...

2. Sergio’s, Frogmore Street

This Italian restaurant is seriously good. With its quirky décor, home-cooked smells wafting from the kitchen where chefs cook up flavours to make your tummy go pop, and exceptionally friendly staff, Sergio’s makes for a truly top-notch date. The stage is set to order a big ole bowl o’ Bolognese and recreate that snoggy moment from Lady and the Tramp, which, Epigram readers, is absolutely acceptable (rather, encouraged) first date behaviour. Oh, and did I mention BYOB? Yes please.

3. Hyde & Co., Berkeley Crescent

What could possibly be more debonair than taking a date to one of Bristol’s trendiest prohibition bars? Whipping up hands-down the most delectable cocktails in the city (even non-alcoholic ones made from oils and lavender and, I dunno, fairy wings and pixie dust too probably), this cheeky ‘hydeout’ is well worth a snoop or two. There are some rather appealing ‘Spirit Sessions’ coming up too. Check out the website, but shhh, it’s a secret.

4. The Devilled Egg, Downfield Road

If you want to impress, this is the date with which to do so, at The Devilled Egg offering bespoke cookery courses. Just watching the welcome video on the website is enough to make your stomach burn, yearn, pine and perish. Either book a bespoke tutorial together (and insist on learning about strawberries, oysters, asparagus... #just sayin’) or sign up à deux for the Valentine’s Day Super Chef master-class. Either way, with sugar, spice and all things culinarily nice, the chemistry will be boiling over before you know it.

5. Bump Roller Disco!, Motion Skate Park

Forget your age and act your skate size – it is unanimously accepted that roller-skating means mighty fun. Mix it up with music, drinks and a date, and it’s a pretty foolproof way to break the ice (and some bones) with that someone special. You will also have to hold hands, which is always nice; maybe even grab onto each other for support. It’s only £6 for students and you might accidentally actually fall on top of each other. Win-win.

Verity Stockdale

Bristol is getting creative

Money

Travel

As students of Bristol University, we’re supposedly destined for big things. A lecturer was recently quoted as saying to a fourth year group, ‘Enjoy these exams because you’re all going to be lawyers and bankers in a year.’ With such academic pressures endemic in our collective aspirations, it is little wonder that such little time and effort is devoted to the arts, and creativity in itself. This is exactly where Bristol Arts Week comes in.

Bristol Arts Week is a new initiative run by students, giving them a space to showcase and celebrate their creative side, from a permanent art and photography gallery, to poetry readings, a supper club and an open mic night. In a disused café owned by Bristol Arts Council situated just opposite College Green, the Arts Week will take the shape of a ‘pop-up’ cultural centre, the en vogue form to make resourceful use of an otherwise wasted space. ‘We chose the [pop-up] format as it leant such a dynamic element to the whole initiative,’ explains Rosanna Wollenberg, the fourth year linguist who has instigated and coordinated the entire event, ‘it seemed like the very immediacy of the venue would create a much greater impact than using a room in the Student Union, for example.’

Rosanna was first inspired to devise the concept when considering the huge variety and scope of artistic talent amongst her friends who were frustratingly consigning their creativity to their bedrooms. She wanted to create an opportunity for them to celebrate and share their gifts in a relaxed environment, while inspiring others to go and create for themselves. The aim of the Bristol Arts Week team is to provide an alternative channel for students to become involved in the arts, who may otherwise be intimidated by the level of commitment and formality of other permanent societies. ‘This is just what our society needs;’ enthuses Max Gershfield, another member of the Arts Week team, ‘we need to be getting people out of their bedrooms. We rarely encounter situations now when people are forced outside to do something: people are so content to just absorb what the internet hurls at them.’

With this in mind, the team has been encouraging participation from anyone with any level of artistic ability or field: semi-professional photographers and first-time poets alike will be under the same roof.

So what’s on the menu? ‘Pretty much anything could happen!’ laughs Rosanna. Expect carefully constructed chaos, whereby Stars in Their Eyes is followed by a poetry workshop, which comes before a film screening, with the back drop of an eclectic gallery. ‘And cogs,” adds Max mysteriously, “expect lots of cogs.’

Cogs, contests and all, at the heart of the initiative lies a passion for recognising the artistic achievements of our fellow students and inspiring future creation in those who had previously not thought themselves capable. A member of the Bristol Arts Week team sums it up perfectly: ‘There may be things that are terribly bad, but there will be things that are very good. But more to the point, it’s something that’s actually happening.’

Contact bristolartsweek@gmail.com to get involved

Izzy Finbow

06. 02. 2012 CHRIS ADDISON

LOVEBOX

10 February Colston Hall £20

OCCUPY THE CINEMA

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, we will be posing the age old question: ‘What is Love?’ Two teams of highly skilled word-warriors will be pitting their similes against each other to find out whether love is what binds us all together, or whether it is just a biological urge conning us into buying over-priced greetings cards.

Strictly Gershwin is a dazzling celebration of George Gershwin and the sparkling age of Hollywood music and dance. This glittering production recreates the razzmatazz of the big band era and Hollywood musicals.

13 February Bristol Old Vic £8 / £6

14 – 18 February Bristol Hippodrome £10 - £45

FILM NIGHT: ‘HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE’

YOUNG ADULT

MOLOCH

Escape the schmaltz this Valentine’s Day and join us for a screening of this 1965 black comedy starring Jack Lemmon, Terry Thomas and Virna Lisi. Witty, colourful and definitely of its time, this film is guaranteed to raise a smile.

Director Jason Reitman reunites with Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody for this equally funny and self-aware tale of thirtysomething former prom queen Mavis (Charlize Theron). A very smart look at narcissism and nostaglia.

Film Club Bristol is a wideranging monthly screening programme curated by Bristol’s diverse community of cineastes. Each month, guest selectors present rarely seen and undervalued films at Arnolfini. Screenings will be introduced, and followed by a digressive film talk in the Café Bar.

13 February The Cube Free

14 February Bristol Folk House £3

Until 16 February Watershed £5.60

19 February Arnolfini £4

OMG!

51°27’

TOKYO DUB

Although the members of Brand New cut their teeth in various hardcore bands, the group took a more melodic approach to its own work, embracing punk-pop on the debut album Your Favorite Weapon and incorporating aspects of indie rock during future projects.

The Bristol Institute of Modern Music presents...

OMG! Open Mic Gig @ 51 Stokes Croft. Featuring up and coming new artists from the school. 7pm until 11pm every 2nd Thursday of the month.

51°27’ presents Girl Unit at the Thekla. A night of chicago juke inspired bass heavy house and dubstep, for those that know; not one to be missed.

Take a break from those boring exams and essays and head down to Motion for JAH SHAKA SOUND SYSTEM and SOOM T among a whole variety of dub djs.

8 February O2 Academy £20

9 February Number 51 Free

10 February Thekla £4

10 February Motion £15

RECORD FAIR

HILL-ARITY

EMPLOYABILITY SKILLS & NETWORKING DAY

1000s of LPs, singles and CDs, from rare collectibles to rereleases, from funk to punk, you’ll find it here! Definitely not one to be missed.

This fortnightly show will feature unique standup comedy acts, Bristol Improv’s talented troupe of improvisers, and a surprise appearance of one Swedish furniture company...

There’ll also be a bucket at the end for donations to Bristol Improv’s Edinburgh appeal.

A day of employability skills sessions delivered by Bristol PLuS Award. Register online to take part in workshops such as social networking and presentation skills and massively increase your career prospects.

7 February Winston Theatre £5

11 February Colston Hall Free

14 February The Hill Free

16 February Careers Service Free

Extras

For one night only Take Me Out is coming to Bristol! Six brave bachelor boys will have to impress the ladies to try and bag themselves a date. They are FREE, SINGLE, and READY TO MINGLE.

Sound

BRAND NEW

Screen

The global occupy movement exploded onto the international stage last year. We will screen a number of beautiful and inspiring shorts.

The main feature will be ‘Paths through Utopias’ - a magicorealist road movie set in an imagined post-crash future.

TAKE ME OUT

Stage

Fresh from ‘The Thick of It’, ‘Mock The Week’, ‘Have I Got News For You’ and his sellout 2010 tour, Chris Addison is back on the road. Top class stand-up from one of the classiest, toppiest standups around. You should definitely go and see him.

ENGLISH NATIONAL BALLET’S STRICTLY GERSHWIN

Travel Money

T

he world of fashion, with its pioneering sense of the future and capacity to push boundaries, has created a new concept. The imaginings of fashion design are no longer constrained by the need to design clothes strictly ‘for him’ or ‘for her’.

Designers can now indulge themselves and work with purely androgynous bodies.

Designers such as Kristopher Kongshaug and Fendi even added eccentricity to the typically minimalist androgynous trend.

academic jackets with twisted collars with coloured sunglasses. The models’ bouffants were slightly disorderly to evoke Albert Einstein’s hair!

The young Danish graduate Kongshaug created ‘The Androgynous Human’ unisex collection, which dresses a ‘confused being’ caught within the gender divide. He used contrasting materials to represent the

Of course, androgyny is by no means a new concept, but its connotations today are somewhat different from its original unveiling. The trend was first bought to life in the economic prosperity of the 1920s, by none other than Coco Chanel.

Androgyny was a crucial theme of the S/S 2012 catwalks: displaying female clothing so androgynous it could be considered unisex, but also taking ‘boy meets girl’ literally by uniting feminine lace, prints and peplums with masculine shirts, suits and accessories.

She was leaps and bounds ahead of other designers, being the very first to introduce elements of menswear and the ‘modern’ concept of simplicity to her womenswear. Her style was a statement of independence; it was possible to be successful without a husband. Genders were bending for the first time, giving rise to the garconne frock and boyish bob haircuts.

White was a prominent colour for the collections, with intricate and elusive lace dresses for S/S 2012 by Erdem and Preen. Graphic white suits seemed to be the androgynous counterpart to girlish lace; with precision-cut tailoring and crisp cottons exuding an almost clinical brilliance from Paul Smith.

Floral print dresses are set to inject femininity into our summer wardrobes, as seen at Valentino and Anna ‘Queen of Florals’ Sui. Both delicate pastel designs and vibrant tropical images were seen on the S/S catwalks, many worn head-to-toe and in clashing combinations.

The final major ‘girly’ look was peplums. They have been with us for a couple of seasons, but have become bigger and bolder for 2012, adding a new dimension to skirt suits and tailored separates for both day and night at Celine and Zac Posen. To add masculinity to such feminine trends, garments were accessorised with chunky mannish watches and big, boyish brows.

boy-girl conflict: feminine feathers and fur against iron and plastic knits.

Fendi’s S/S collection was based on the ‘Nobel Prize Look’, inspired by a 102 year old female neurologist who won the Nobel Prize for Medicine in 1986. There was a studious, masculine-feminine interplay evoked by businessmen’s shirts, blouses and

Deputy: Lizzy Bullock deputyfashion@ epigram.org.uk

Wishlist

Boy meets girl

Fendi S/S 12

Fashion

What’s On

Lifestyle

Editor: Francesca Clayton fashion@ epigram.org.uk

As time progressed through the 30’s and 40’s, androgyny was more a consequence of economic turmoil and wartime austerity. The strict material rationing of WW2 led to simple clothing as women began to adopt pared-down, practical clothing as they enrolled in hands-on work. The trend continued to prevail throughout the 60s and 70s, where Mods favoured sharp tailoring and minimalism.

Androgyny even filtered into the music industry, with artists such as Grace Jones and David Bowie experimenting with gender.

Denim shirt, Warehouse, £35

Wedges, Topshop, £72

Today, the androgynous look is a stylish way to combine elements of minimalism with an effortlessly sexy appearance and the trend continues to endure from season to season.

Lizi Woolgar

Shift dress, River Island, £25

Love, sex and advertising I

t’s a recognised fact that sex sells and in the past decade, designers have regularly turned to couples in a bid to reinvent the standard, Skinny-GirlWearing-The-Clothes campaigns.

At this point in time, there is a lot of girl meets boy advertising staying away from sex and playing it safe. The Kooples have brought out a new campaign featureing kooky, European boyfriends and girlfriends, all of whom are androgynous, well-dressed and beautiful.

The online mini-documentaries of their real life love stories feature kissing in the back of taxis, shots of matching tattoos and romantic stories about feeding the pigeons.

Luxury brand Bally stick to their Swiss roots with a campaign set in the Alps.

The ads feature Victoria’s Secret Angel Miranda Kerr, Robert Konjic and some

mountain goats all enjoying a summer holiday together. The wool jackets, delicate kitten heels and blow-dried hair pay homage to classic campaigns of the ‘50s and the two couples deliver a parentally approved image of wholesome summer loving.

“It’s a recognised fact that sex sells” But of course, there will always be campaigns that use couples in a decidedly unwholesome way. The ultimate boy meets girl advertisement appeared in the A/W 2009 campaign for Armani underwear and featured David and Victoria Beckham in some fairly

compromising positions. Fierce enough in solo campaigns - but put the two together and you get the chicest, sexiest adverts that are a sure way to sell boxer shorts.

This season, campaigns for brands such as Burberry have followed suit, with model Cara Delevingne rolling around with Eddie Redmayne while clad only in a trench coat and heels.

Nail varnish, Nails inc, £11

Naturally, Dolce and Gabbana also couldn’t stay away from some good old fashioned raunchiness. In their 2012 womenswear campaign, a Mediterranean coastal town is shot in high saturation, featuring hot, topless boys caressing sun kissed, baroque-print clad ladies. Well, what else would you expect from D&G? Katie Deighton

Bag, Topshop, £36

06. 02. 2012

Street Style

The new masculine

Lizzy Bullock

A

Third year Economics & Management student Louise works the highstreet take on androgyny with a Peter Pan collar and slim-fit coloured trousers.

Jeans and jumper, Zara. Hat, boots and parka, Primark. Shirt, New Look.

ndrogyny was fashion’s favourite word in A/W 11 and it’s managed to creep its way into S/S 12. This time masculine garments are kept slouchy and casual, including city shorts and blazers mixed with feminine pastel colours. Smart brogues continue to be popular thanks to the new pastel shades; a safer way to channel the trend if you’re worried about looking like a marshmallow.

Blazer, Topshop, £55. Shorts, Topshop, £35

T

M

he ‘boy meets girl’ look is closely intertwined with the current sportswear trend. Championed by young designer Alexander Wang and Stella McCartney, sweat tops, backpacks and high-top trainer wedges were key features on the catwalk. McCartney also offered a take on the Pyjama trend. Silky, baggy and luxurious, these trousers channel the masculine aesthetic in a relaxed way.

annish tailoring has been used as a great canvas for this season’s bright and kooky prints. The straight and simple shapes help balance out the vibrant colours - wear a printed blazer or sport shorts with a mannish white shirt for an androgynous match made in heaven, or clash prints for extra style points.

Ronke Fashande

Dress, River Island, £30. Bag, ASOS, £35

Blazer, H&M, £34.99. Shorts, Topshop, £12.

Trainers, Nike, £65.

The new feminine

Style Jury

House of Holland s/s 12

House of Holland showed androgynous braces and buttoned up shirts in pastel colours for a boy meets girl take on this seasons trends.

W

C

N

hether you see yourself as a wall flower or more a blossoming bouquet, this season has a floral for you. If you’re brave enough then maximise your outfit with clashing prints. If the delicate rose look is more your style then embrace the trend for intricate appliqués and sheer, floaty fabrics.

risp and clean or floaty and embellishedwhich ever takes your fancy it’s all about white this season. This season’s white trend proves the graphic can be girly if kept simple with a few choice accessories. If you’re looking for extra flower power then add a peplum for an even more feminine shape.

othing says feminine like the curves of a 1950’s pinup girl, so don those bralets in fun prints for that vintage American feel.

Pair with a high waist to avoid over exposure and top with a pair of cat’s eye sunglasses for maximum impact.

Kate Kelley

Trousers, River Island, £40. Rucksack, Aldo, £40.

Wedges, Office, £65

Dress, Jones and Jones, £65. Clutch, ASOS, £25.

Wedges, Office, £8.

Swan-print bralet,£26. Matching trousers, Topshop, £38.

‘The jeans are cute, but remind me of something that Britney Spears would wear in the early 2000s. I would prefer them with a less busy top.’

Corinna,, French and German, fourth year ‘She looks like a sexy builder. Painty trousers and a botched, thrown-together shirt, she is obviously confuddled. I would still ‘do’ her.’

Ollie, Drama, third year ‘If only the skies in Bristol were that blue. Not sure how I feel about the snake-skin braces though, they’re a bit much.’

Sophie, English, third year

What’s On Fashion Travel

I

n The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, a therapist of former French Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby complains that as ‘they get thinner and thinner’ the ‘models look like boys’.

This may be a valid point as the rise of ultra skinny models has appeared to coincide with the prevalence of androgyny on the catwalks. It makes sense as the absence of fat and muscle on the body diminishes obvious male-female physical characteristics – particularly breasts.

However, images of androgyny and a blurring of distinctions between the genders in fashion is not something linked solely to the size zero debate.

Recent years have witnessed the success of two models which attack conventional beliefs about gender.

Lea T caused ripples of shock when Riccardo Tisci made her the face of Givenchy’s AW 10 advertising campaign. A stunning transsexual, the Brazilian upset less imaginative viewers when she posed for the cover of French Vogue – entirely feminine; entirely nude and with one hand covering her male genitals.

“what people do with what’s in their pants can be interestingbut less so than what those pants look like”

Similarly, LOVE magazine made her the cover star of their AW10 Androgyny issue, when she was pictured giving a boyish Kate Moss a rather nice looking kiss. Interestingly, inside the issue a head and shoulders shot revealed the most shocking thing about Lea T to be her dumbfounding Amazonian beauty.

Givenchy F/W 11

The second face is the angelic, crystalline Andrej Pejic who models

both men’s and women’s clothes. In January 2011, he walked the men’s shows for Marc Jacobs and Jean-Paul Gaultier and the Gaultier women’s haute couture. This included a partially transparent wedding dress with gothic veil, later adopted by Rihanna.

Following the success of SS11 ad campaigns, Pejic’s career shows no sign of abating; proving his presence is more than a gimmick for the fast paced world of fashion to quickly toss aside.

Cross-dressing also featured in Dolce and Gabbana’s AW11 adverts wherein their quintessential Sicilian sirens were paired up with female models styled as teddy boys.

Gender ambiguity continued in SS12 with Armani’s crisp, ice hued images of slim silhouettes and sharp tailoring.

Likewise, androgynous models such as superstar Freja Beha Erichsen and the more masculine Stella Tennant have been extremely popular in recent years.

However, all this epicene coolness has been counteracted by attempts to reintroduce the ‘womanly’ woman to fashion. LOVE’s androgyny issue was preceded by what was nicknamed ‘the tits issue’ and espoused old fashioned glamour of the Mad Men wiggle skirt kind. Included in eight possible covers were Kelly Brook, Alessandra Ambrosio (a Victoria’s Secret Angel) and Rosie Huntingdon-Whitely in Jessica Rabbit mode.

Other models to have inspired similar ‘return of the woman’ editorials include Lara Stone and Lily Cole - who has surprisingly large boobs, since you asked.

Celebrations of curves frequently coincide with laudatory comments about promoting healthy body weight and employment of plus size models like Crystal Renn. However, models with hourglass figures can be used to spread another message: sex.

Many images of Lara Stone or actress Scarlett Johansson include enough cleavage to suffocate in and employ old school Playboy poses. Of course this may be partly to emphasise the difference between these girls and the androgynous waifs we’re used to.

Contrastingly, part of models like Freja Beha Erichsen’s success is her ability to be chameleonic. From classic 1970s androgyny in Yves Saint Lauren, through suburban cartoon villain in Tom Ford and on to unadulterated femininity in Valentino, Erichsen morphs seamlessly between characters and concepts.

Perhaps this is part of the appeal of androgynous models, not just their blending of genders, but their versatility in playing different roles.

Ultimately, this helps display the clothes and the ideas behind them or a photo story. As Katie Grand said, ‘What people do with whatever is in their pants can be interesting, but less so…than what those pants look like’.

Rosemary Wagg

New kid on the block: Serge DeNimes S

erge DeNimes is an exciting new brand launched by Made in Chelsea’s Oliver Proudlock. Through his range of graphic unisex t-shirts, Proudlock has proved himself to be much more than your average reality tv star.

item is individually dyed to produce a colourful representation of the chaos and sensuality of the Rio carnival.

female Made in Chelsea castmates like Caggie Dunlop have modeled the slouchy shirts on the red carpet.

Oliver Proudlock is no stranger to the artistic world. He graduated from Newcastle University in 2010 with a degree in Fine Art and experiments with photography, painting, collage and printing to produce artwork influenced by the chaos and the many different cultures which surround him.

The images that inspire his Serge DeNimes t-shirt range are from his mother’s photography work at the Rio de Janiro carnival. Proudlock has used a series of these photographs as the basis for his designs, producing a unique and exclusive range of t-shirts.

Made by the same factory that prints t-shirts for All Saints, each

Proudlock’s desire to collaborate with up and coming artistic talent to create a community which produces clothing of incredible quality.

Serge DeNimes’ prices aren’t cheap at £55 a t-shirt, but the profits don’t all go towards cheeky weekends in Cannes. Proudlock donates 5% of profits to Barrier Vasco, a favela in Rio that remains victim to drug crime.

While Made in Chelsea doesn’t seem like the likeliest way to promote an original, ethical clothing company, it has provided Proudlock with the perfect platform from which to promote his brand.

Serge Denimes

Money

Deputy: Lizzy Bullock deputyfashion@ epigram.org.uk

Closing the gender gap Gaulter F/W 11

Lifestyle

Editor: Francesca Clayton fashion@ epigram.org.uk

Although the t-shirts are technically men’s fit, Proudlock describes his clothes as being unisex. Indeed,

True to its name, the brand will soon be experimenting with denim and other fabrics. Intrinsic to this is

With the wearability of Serge DeNimes’ products and considering his commitment and vision for the company, it seems as if Oliver Proudlock is a designer we’re likely to be seeing around for years to come.

Lucy Hill

06.02.2012

City Slickers T

his season, the catwalk has had a love affair with slicked back hair.

Aquascutum and Chanel both injected a subtle note of masculinity into their collections at Paris Fashion Week by opting for this striking yet sexy hairstyle.

Giambattista Valli S/S 12

And it’s not a look just reserved for the runway: ‘Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ actress Rooney Mara really pushes the gender boundaries with her appearance and she has helped to catapult androgyny back into the mainstream. Recently rocked on the red carpet by both Rooney and Angelina Jolie at the Golden Globes, this streamlined style is a simple way to add edge to your look and get in touch with your masculine side.

A perfect economic look for money conscious students, there’s no need to invest in any fancy hair products: all you’ll need is a bottle of wet look gel and a trusty comb.

It takes only seconds to perfect and this polished look is ideal for both day and night.

Beauty

For a simple day look, comb hair off your face and back into a neat low bun. A sleek style like this will emphasise facial features, so keep make-up to a minimum to carry it off.

For those with short hair, a side parting will add to the masculine look, as seen at Givenchy. Slick the sides down with lots of gel.

If you’re not ready to give into your inner Andrej Pejic and commit to fully fledged gender bending, try a more feminine style and go for a half up half down style, as seen at Victorian Beckham’s Spring/Summer launch. Divide hair into top and bottom, comb lots of gel through the top layer and secure with a bobble. Either straighten or backcomb the bottom layer for extra drama.

Finish with a heavy slick of eyebrow pencil and voila!

Nia Warren

Blonde Bombshells f you’ve ever had an urge to reveal your inner blonde goddess then this is the season to do it. While the icy blonde shades dominating the catwalk may be more suited for the brave, there’s certainly a shade out there that will suit a variety of skin tones.

Blonde hair is a perfect canvas for both sides of the gender-bending S/S 12 trends. Either keep it long and pretty to exemplify femininity with retro victory rolls and 20s inspired set waves or crop it short and androgynous like Oscar nominee Michelle Williams.

Alternatively, blonde models and celebrities alike have been switching things up by updating the blue rinse.

Playing with tonality has become a massive trend in recent seasons, with grey and lilac hues becoming interesting alternatives to plain peroxide.

If this is the first time you’re going blonde it’s probably a good idea to go to a salon. After you’ve braved the plunge, upkeep can be done at home without fearing for the life of your hair follicles.

Do be aware that roots will show through within a few weeks- although this look has gained popularity within the last few years with outgrown, dip dyed-esque blonde tips being the most extreme version of the trend.

Versace S/S 12

I

1960s eyes Spring has come around once again and it has brought with it a host of new beauty trends. Eyes are the real focus this season so put away the bright red lipstick and reach for the eye shadow instead.

The classic doe-eyed, dewy-skinned style made famous by 1960s bombshells like Brigitte Bardot and Twiggy has made a huge comeback, thanks, in part to the BBC’s recent drama We’ll Take Manhattan, depicting the early career of iconic 60s model Jean Shrimpton.

Winged eyeliner, as seen at the Dolce & Gabbana show in Milan last November, is even more on-trend than ever.

For those who don’t like the solid look that eyeliner can create, applying the colour with a small brush rather than directly from the pencil will give a softer, smokier look. If you don’t have a small brush, you can apply the pencil first and then soften the line and create the wings you want with a cotton bud.

For a more dramatic, night time look, accentuate winged eyeliner with dark eyeshadow, which will emphasise your eyes to the max and create a sultry, feline appearance.

Whether you’re looking to make a statement or keep it natural, this look is all about long, dark eyelashes. For those of us who don’t have naturally long, curly lashes, eyelash curlers are a Godsend and make an instant difference. If you’re due a new mascara, go for something dark and lengthening like:

For maintenance I’ve found John Frieda and Tresemmé to be the best brands out there. Go for shampoos and conditioners aimed at maintaining colour rather than at hair type; blondes should be using purple coloured products to prevent brassiness.

For the lazy souls out there who want to be blonde but don’t want the expense or upkeep, John Freida Go Blonder lightening spray is an excellent choice; spray it into wet hair before blow drying and in time your hair will become gradually lighter.

Volum’ Express: The Falsies from Maybelline, £7.99

Going blonde is an easy way to change your look dramatically without too much effort - maybe now is your time to find out if blondes really do have more fun!

Alice Johnston L’Oreal Paris False Lash Telescopic Mascara, £10.99

Our top three picks for the best blonde hair care products:

John Frieda, Sheer Blonde Instant Silkener, £5.29

Schwarzkopf Live Color XXL, Ice Blonde, £5.49

Tresemmé Color Thrive Blonde Shampoo, £4.07

Benefit They’re Real! Beyond Mascara, £18.50 Rowena Ball

Relationship status Rosanna West

Lake Titicaca is the largest lake in South America, and the highest in the world, bordered by both Bolivia and Peru, and home to various ancient communities, almost all of whom rely on the tourist industry to survive.

One of these communities live on Taquile Island, which has been given UNESCO status due to its high quality textiles production. Society is organised very traditionally, with their Quechua culture – including the dress - still preserved.

Fashion Travel

It is with dress, and hats in particular, that the residents venture to find their future spouses. As we in western society become increasingly obsessed with appearance (are we supposed to be wearing a trilby or a sunhat, a cap or a beanie?), after five minutes there I realised that the importance of an outfit has been prevalent in certain cultures for centuries. For the women of Taquile Island, it is as simple as what colour top you have on (if it’s red and they are aged 17 or upwards, they’re married; if any other colour, they’re single and ready to mingle). Yet the men of the community have a much tougher job when getting dressed in the morning.

When I first arrived, it struck me how divided the sexes seemed. The men, all wearing self-made woolly hats, appeared to be just standing against the walls looking silly, ogling these visions in pink, yellow and green trying to sell us woolen bracelet after woolen bracelet. I later discovered, however, that the women were, rather eccentrically, being admired and, later, courted. These men were in fact standing around hoping to be noticed, and subsequently chosen, by the many girls laughing amongst themselves and appearing completely nonchalant about their admirers. The women know which men are on the market through the colour and form of their hat; it identifies his relationship status. The general rules are that a red and white hat means he is single, red and blue means he is engaged and all red means he is married.

Variations are available to single men as well, they may change the direction of the tassel on top of their hat to indicate if they are looking for a relationship or not, just like your ‘relationship status’ on Facebook, or the ‘looking for...’ section on dating websites. It seems to me that these techniques of finding the ‘perfect match’ are basically just more extensive versions of the hat system. Who’d have thought that our society’s eagerness for revealing the state of our love life to the world could be traced back to a time before the internet?

Rosanna West

The rules of holiday romances Holiday romances – they leave you happy, hurt, reeling, wrecked and with some of the fondest memories of your time abroad. As you pack the sun-cream, swimwear, Jilly Cooper and Ray-Bans, the burgeoning notion of escapism with an exotic lover who you will never see again begins to appear the very reason for disappearing into the sunny horizon – “I’m not looking for anything but...”. However, don’t let all common sense sail out of the villa window just yet. Even with the care-free spontaneity of a holiday romance, there is still a game to be played.

“Cock-block to your heart’s content. It’s your holiday too.”

1. Do not listen to your friends when they have been drinking pina coladas. They want you to do something daft so that they can laugh at you later, and they absolutely do not have your best interests at heart.

They do, however, have their cameras at the ready and are vying for the opportunity to record you making a total boob of yourself. Either that or they are trying to fob you off on someone. Don’t be fobbed off – cockblock to your heart’s content. It’s your holiday too.

5. If you are lucky enough to have found Mr. Right in some secluded Grecian cove, do not get sucked in and absolutely do not book an alternative flight home. You are tempting fate to do what it does best and ruin your dreams. Your romance was great in all of its transitory, short-lived fabulousness. Nothing more. In the words of Example, “Love at first sight or holiday romance? / Don’t care, I was lost in the moment / I really shoulda missed that flight.” No, Example – you are a multimillionaire successful recording artist. That sort of nonsense will always end in tears for us mortals.

2. Mix it up and break the mould – do not aim to find your ‘type’. That’s not what holiday romances are about. Nice, normal people who you could introduce to your mother, who eat packed lunches, have (and actually use) a gym membership and know how to play bridge should not be targeted. Pablo, the bartender, should. Go for Pablo.

3. Adopt an alter-ego. Lie. About your name, your age, your degree, your background – just about anything that you can get away with. What better way to live out the most outlandish of role plays with you being absolutely whoever you want for the entire week away.

Planning your persona also gives you something to

do on the plane out. Admittedly, being a professional ballerina called Mishenka from the Russian National Ballet winding down after my gruelling Moscow 2011 season was taking it a little too far but you get the idea.

They will forever think that once upon a time they snared Angelina Jolie’s bottom double, which is sort of hilarous. And the added bonus? They will also never be able to find you on facebook when you get home. Job done.

4. Never, ever, ever give them your phone number.

That can only mean enormous phone bills and empty promises.

Flickr: Tammy McGary

Money

The dating scene amongst the ancient community living on Taquile Island, Peru

It never occurred to me that the dating game on Lake Titicaca in Peru could be similar to our modern-day, technology-fuelled one here in the UK. However, after spending time on Taquile Island, where the population is only 1700, I soon gauged that our society’s method of searching for a partner in life is not so different to theirs. The only difference lies in our devices. We rely on Match.com; they rely on varieties of dress.

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Editor: Verity Stockdale travel@epigram .org.uk

6. I regress - don’t go for the bartender. When it goes wrong, where will you hang out once the proverbial has hit the fan? And avoid that person who definitely wasn’t attractive yesterday but tonight is exquisite looking. You are, at present, drunk. Your friends will tell you to go for it. I refer you back to rule no.1.

7.Who am I kidding - avoid anyone who follows rules.

That’s just not the point.

Verity Stockdale

06.02.2012

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The world’s...

Most bizarre courtship rituals When it comes to dating, while Barbie and Ken across the pond enthusiastically embrace the ‘pizza and a movie’ combo night, us Brits have a more awkward approach to dating, usually fuelled by over-indulgence of alcohol and the subsequent loss of inhibition. With Valentine’s fast approaching, it’s time to set things right. Experiment with these international courtship rituals and you’ll be at the top of the food chain in no time.

Firstly, how to catch your date - quite literally. With our fast-paced lifestyles, why beat around the bush? The gypsy ritual of ‘grabbing’ could suit the more assertive alpha males among us, and those who enjoy the thrill of an actual chase. As gypsy girls are not allowed to date, they are literally hunted and manhandled for up to three days, and on successful ‘grabbing’, the man keeps his prize. Kidnapping and sexual harassment - seems legit.

Next thing to worry about is the Valentine’s Day gift. Ladies, we all know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but ditch the chocolates and offer apples à la sweat instead. In rural Austria, it was customary at dances for young girls to boogie with apple slices lodged under their armpits. At the end

Photo of the fortnight

‘First date’ Millie Stott: Madrid (Retiro Park), Spain

This photo was taken in Retiro Park, the ‘green lung’ of Madrid, and the most popular weekend hangout for madrileños. It is always heaving with couples, from young teens to the old and happily married. This day in January had seen particularly beautiful weather, with clear blue skies. As the sun set, the park quietened, allowing me to take this shot. At first glance you can see the pair in the foreground chatting and watching the sunset, but at closer look you see more couples ‘canoodling’ in the boats behind. Latino romance at its best.

of the night, the lass would offer the soaking apple to a suitor and, in a show of affection, he would have to wolf it down. As for the gents, chuck the roses and offer your blade instead. In Finland, if a lady caught a man’s eye, he would place his knife in her empty sheath. Returning the knife would show disinterest, but keeping it meant probable marriage. No points for subtle euphemism there.

‘He would place his knife in her empty sheath.

No points for subtle euphemism there.’

Location, location, location. This year forget the candlelit dinner and accordionist swanning round your table. While many Western cultures are fearful of obesity on the rise, Mauritians abide by the rule, ‘Big is Beautiful’, as a husky woman reflects a man’s ability to provide for his wife. To ensure they’re marriage material, girls are groomed from a young age in ‘Fat

Farms’ and force fed bucket-loads until the spare tyres and stretch marks start to blossom. There is clearly something to be said for showing respect for your lady’s roots and rolling her, perhaps literally, down to Cosmo’s.

“ It’s a romance overload that’s enough to make you miss the most sentimentally repressed of English folk.”

You wouldn’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive first. With this in mind, girls in the Cambodian Kreung tribe certainly seem to agree. Parents generously build a separate hut in their back yard for their teenage daughter, and each night she is allowed to entertain a different guest in her love shack until she finds The One. This ritual may seem a little promiscuous, but dating is about trial and error after all.

Now that you’ve found your better half, you’ll probably want to test your strength as a couple before tying the knot. In Borneo’s Tidong community, the pair is starved, given little water and prevented from using the bathroom for 72 hours prior to the wedding. The theory is that if you can survive such hardship, the marriage will be a piece of cake.

Ah, love really is in the air.

Ainhoa Barcelona

Within mere days, the smell of urine in my Paris hallway stopped provoking my gag reflex and started to become the gentle aroma of home. Admittedly, it took me a few more weeks to come to terms with the fact that one drives on the right-hand side of the road; however, apart from a few minor setbacks and near-fatal incidents, I felt I made the transition from Bristol student to flaneuse of Paris pretty neatly.

That is not to say, however, that there aren’t things that I miss about home; basic hygiene, for instance. France has come a long way in the 10 years since my brother emerged from a roadside public toilet, white-faced, saying he couldn’t go because someone had written their name in excrement on the floor. But apparently it is still acceptable - in city-centre restaurants, no less - for the loo to be no more than a hole in the ground. I kid you not.

Furthermore, I know we Brits are frequently mocked for our tendency to be over polite. However, in my five months, there have been a few moments where I could have benefitted from a vague semblance of tact. For example, on one particular day just a few weeks after arriving when I was still patting myself on the back for successfully making French friends due to – what else?

– my winning smile and outgoing personality, only for my boss to inform me that she’d “worked me out”, and that I “didn’t like other people” – a blow from which my ego is still recovering. Or when I made a birthday cake for a French friend (which, make no mistake, in a 3m2 kitchen is no mean feat). His first words on seeing it were: “Well, it’s not pretty,” followed shortly afterwards by, “It’s too sweet”. Ouch.

These French kids don’t beat around the bush, that’s for sure. After drunkenly kissing one in a “what’s the worst that could happen” frame of mind, a friend of mine soon found out the hard way. The worst that can happen is the textual barrage the following day. Highlights include, “I wish I’d woken up in your arms”, “Come over tonight…I’m alone…”, and my personal favourite, “I had a great night, even if I didn’t taste enough of your soft lips…” (suggestive ellipses included). It’s a romance overload that’s enough to make you miss even the most sentimentally repressed of English folk.

I see my year abroad as a bit like a relationship. After all, no relationship is perfect. There are always niggling details about the other person that you wish you could change.

But then again, if they were to disappear, you’d probably miss them just a little. So come February when I’ve left behind the over honesty, the pitiful lavatorial facilities and the awkward advances, I may find myself wanting to send Paris a drunk text saying how much I miss it - surely the proof of a successful year abroad.

Alicia Queria Foreign Correspondent - France

Travel

Fashion

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Editor: Alex Denne treasurer@ epigram.org.uk

Yes,

Za Za Bazaar How did you meet Tristan [Hogg]?

I went round his house when I was going out with his sister (who I’m now married to) at university, and they were a bit of an eccentric bunch. Tristan was being chased around his house by his dad who was trying to hit him with a spoon, it was like something out of Benny Hill because Tristan was occasionally stopping and doing press-ups just to piss him off. His sister told me that he was either going to end up in prison or he would be a successful businessman, so I decided to keep an eye on him and what do you know!? 10 years later, he’s gone from being an annoying little sod to the creative chef behind pieminister’s award winning pies!

Jon Tristan

With pieminister now producing 70,000 pies a week, has it been difficult to maintain your original values?

It’s become a part of our DNA now and because we maintain our supplier base very carefully we can make sure that we keep our integrity as a business, and therefore the trust of our customers. Our priorities lie in building and growing the business in a really fun way, that’s why we’re going to over 70 festivals this year and we’re also in the process of opening up franchises in Ireland and Holland.

‘We’re on track for £9m revenue in 2012’ What’s been your favourite festival so far?

Our first Glastonbury was amazing because we had people queuing across an entire field for us, we had one of those moments where we knew we were definitely doing something right. When our field got struck by lightning there was no electricity and the field got shut off, which actually worked out as a bit of a blessing for us even though we lost a day of trade. Because of the torrential rain everyone was spreading mud and cow shit everywhere, fortunately when our field re-opened the following day and the water drained off it was suddenly the only place people came to eat, just so they could sit down. It really put us on the map and fully opened the door to the festival market. We had an articulated lorry sent down with pies and everyone was thinking ‘bloody hell, these guys can really churn food out quickly’

Money

Why Stokes Croft?

The council gave it to us for free for 2 years which was ideal for us seeing was we didn’t have any money and still had to buy the pie machine and do the place up! Also it turned out to be a great location too because everyone around here usually headed further into town for lunch, but the store was buzzing with energy in 2003 with flour going everywhere whilst Tristan was making all the pies in the back and I was selling them out front.

Have you considered a pieminister home delivery service?

Unfortunately not, because pizza operators’ work with an 85% profit margin on their food, we could never get anywhere near that with our locally sourced, organic and free range ingredients. Why not buy one of our pies from Sainsbury’s as wholesome emergency food next time you’re craving takeaway?

How important is ambition when starting a business?

I think that people who start businesses are ambitious just by their nature; although some often lack ‘vision’. Working out very early on what you’re all about and what you want to do is so important though as you’ll need to be focussed.

What advice would you give to students who believe that eating quality, free range and organic food isn’t possible within their budgets?

It’s everyone’s duty to be more conscious of where your food is coming from, eat cheap seasonal vegetables and maybe only have a free-range chicken a little less often. You shouldn’t compromise on your morals because of your budget.

You guys have made pies ‘trendy’, what’s next?

Well Mexican’s big at the moment, but I’ve got my eye on South American street food.

Combine the 2014 World Cup with their booming economies and you’ve got a really strong exposure to the lovely people and the lovely South American food.

What advice would you give to a student with an idea, but not the time to develop it?

I would say that you’re lying as you’re a student so you’ve got loads of time on your hands! Stop going out and just stay in one night and [...] to be honest you have to sacrifice things if you actually want to start a business, but once you start writing a business plan and you put your ideas together then the chances are that you’ll really enjoy doing it. Once you get into the habit of actually doing stuff, it’s a natural progression towards bigger and better things.

Alex Denne

Quality Value Charm Za Za Bazaar is the UK’s largest restaurant at 30,000 square feet. The picture shows the decorations above the far-east section, just one of the themed sections which leave you spoilt for choice and seeing as it’s £6.99 all-you-can-eat Monday to Thursday.

Max Rowe-Brown

Patisserie Valerie Quality Value Charm Patisserie Valerie’s window (on the triangle) draws you in and this isn’t surprising considering their wide range of decadent, mouth-watering treats. The cakes & pastries are flawless, but you’ll only know that when you stop admiring your cake and actually eat it.

Clarice Crocker

Thali Cafe Quality Value Charm I’m a seasoned traveller to India and this is the only place I’ve found so far that can really manage to create true-to-form Indian cuisine outside of India.

Meat-eater or vegetarian, you will not be disappointed and neither will your wallet!

Jemma Boon

Pizza Express Quality Value Charm

Dough balls and margherita pizza for only £4 each with Orange Wednesdays is such a good deal considering the quality of the food and the service in the Pizza Express on Clifton’s Regent Street. I’ve not yet met a girl who can resist such charm and value for money.

Misha Vertkin

Giraffe Quality Value Charm The menu at Giraffe is the ultimate crowd-pleaser boasting a range of cuisines from delicious burgers to tasty stir-fries. The Meze Plate with Warm Naan was divine – very flavoursome and the perfect portion to share. Giraffe’s signature burger is a new take on an old classic, and although it was a little luke warm, all ill-feelings were forgotten after sampling their scrumptious Rocky Road Sundae. It’s well worth a trip to Giraffe purely for the quality of their cocktails alone; Browns, you have met your match! Giraffe is even offering 25% student discount 5 days a week, or just visit for their £6.95 lunch for a main & a drink.

Lucy Thomas