Epigram 355 - The Croft 16

the croft

Bristol in bloom Putting the spring in your step

Lifestyle • Style • Food • Wellbeing • Travel

issue 16 09.03.21

Editor ORIN CARLIN Digital Editor ALLEGRA LETTS Deputy Editor FREYA SCOTT-TURNER

editor's letter

top stories

12 easy-peasy

martini 16 self-worth success 19 stories from the slopes inside

2 lifestyle 6 style​ 10 food 14 wellbeing​ 18 travel​

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, for one, am full of the joys of spring. Admittedly it’s a spring that has not quite sprung yet, but I’m more than willing to jump the gun and embrace the season of new beginnings.

‘That’s not like you,’ I hear you say. It’s true, I live for Christmas Day and I will be buried in my M&S 80 denier tights so it’s fair to say that I’m usually a winter devotee.

But, having recently suffered at the hands of the various gloomy lockdowns, I am excitably clinging to even the most miniscule signs that spring is on its way.

Think posh Easter eggs gracing the shelves of Waitrose on The Triangle and enough daffodils to cheer up even the most miserable student abode. Lush!

If you’re more pastorally inclined than I am, perhaps it is the sight of newborn

Logo by Bethany Marris

the croft

animals that gets you enthusiastic about spring time? Well, bouncy lambs and fluffy chicks aside, I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge the exhausted ewes and hens that grant us these little bundles of joy.

That’s right, mum’s the word this fortnight in The Croft as we celebrate an inspiring story, Style explores fashion advice that has stood the test of time and Travel reminisces about their favourite mother-daughter trips.

Whoever it is that acts as your maternal barrage of encouragement, maybe sling them a bunch of daffs and then continue to receive their unwavering support until the end of time?

That’s what I’ll be doing anyway.

(Thanks Mum. And thanks proofreading this for me.)

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Orin x

THE TEAM The Croft Editor ORIN CARLIN The Croft Digital Editor ALLEGRA LETTS The Croft Deputy Editor FREYA SCOTT-TURNER The Croft Chief Proofreader ANNABEL MORGAN Style Editor MANON WILIAM Style Digital Editor MORGAN COLLINS Style Deputy Editor MAY GARLAND Style Sub-editor OLIVIA ANDREWS Food Editor SAVANNAH COOMBE Food Deputy Editor TIM QUINEY Food Sub-editor PHOEBE RANSOM Wellbeing Editor ROSIE ANGEL-CLARK Wellbeing Digital Editor EVE COLEMAN Wellbeing Deputy Editor ELENA VENTURELLI Wellbeing Sub-editor SANJANA IDNANI Travel Editor DAISY GAME Travel Digital Editor MIA MUSA-GREEN Travel Deputy Editor REBECCA PARDON Travel Sub-editor SANJANA IDNANI Illustrator ALICE PROCTOR Front Cover EDDIE WESTALL

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Illustration by Lizzie Burgess

lifestyle

Pillow Talk Missionary madness

By Carrie Brizshaw

‘I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.’ (Othello) When I first came across this strange line in my English class, I was scandalised to discover what Shakespeare was alluding to. Could it be that the man who gave us Romeo and Juliet was now improving my sexual education? Aged 14, I was surprised to discover that a ‘beast with two backs’ is essentially another name for the missionary position. Doesn’t sound too vanilla, does it?

And yet, missionary gets a bad rep. Certainly, I was taught, via my TV addiction, that it is a position for boring, bog-standard sex and this was reflected in my personal sex life. I instead always opted for doggy, but whether that was because simply because the TV shows told me it was better, we’ll never know.

One thing I am sure about, though, is that the missionary position shouldn’t be cast aside as soon as you lose your virginity. It should be the bread and butter of your sex life. There are so many variations to stylise this position: a pillow can be added, a knee bent or perhaps even a bottom lifted. All for deeper penetration. Bliss.

If you’re into intimate, sensuous sex then this really is the position for you. It’s the perfect position for staring deep into your partner’s eyes and stroking their hair, while being fucked within an inch of your life. Romantically, of course. Be careful not to blurt out you love them for the first time, though; I had to learn this the hard way. Although, looking back on it now, it did elevate my relationship – never had I felt more in love with my boyfriend.

Of course, there are times when you definitely don’t want to gaze into the eyes of a one-night stand. The blindfold was invented for a reason; use it to add a certain je ne sais quoi to your night.

Why not handcuff yourself to your headboard?

These little touches can be included to spice up any position. If you enjoy it, ask to be choked or be the choker yourself. This isn’t 2015, Topshop chokers shouldn’t be allowed to have all the fun!

Whether you are looking for sensual, rough, kinky or just ordinary sex, it would be criminal to leave out the missionary position.

So save yourself the courtroom drama and get under someone.

Carrie's top tip Pillow power Prop a pillow under your bum to lift up your hips to allow for deeper thrusts.

Obviously, for hygiene reasons, please don’t use a pillow that you put your face on! Adding a pillow also helps if there is a large height difference between you and your partner.

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Mum's the word

Epigram / Maddy Raven

Maddy Raven celebrates the woman who continues to inspire her

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Epigram / Orin Carlin

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hen I think of my mother, I think of those women who hover at the margins of history: Rosalind Franklin, Hedy Lamarr and Ada Lovelace. Being the elder sister of two boys, she (like me) was the ‘test’ sibling on whom a multitude of parenting techniques were trialled, and later abandoned!

I can tell you how clever she is – having started out as a primary school teacher, she then moved to the Special Educational Needs (SEN) school where my sister first attended and has since taken over the running of the nursery.

Today, she tutors Makaton and consults at a county-wide level on SEN nursery education.

I could tell you how kind and selfless she is – she’s balanced her almost 30-year-long career with raising her own four children and satisfying their seemingly insatiable desires for custard creams, trips to the park, books and a steady stream of pet rabbits (no mean feat, the rabbits provide more drama than a season of EastEnders!).

Though not announced with fanfare, she makes a real difference and my dad shares my frustration that there isn’t a national holiday for the woman!

Having celebrated more than 25 years of marriage, my parents have lived together longer than they have lived apart.

In restaurants, they swap plates halfway through without saying a word, sharing their food unthinkingly.

It’s now been six months since I was last home, and our means of communication consists of

exchanged Guardian film articles, Paddington (2014) being our favourite, phone calls and Zoom meetings where my mum hovers carefully by the tablet ensuring my brother doesn’t accidentally hit ‘leave meeting’ as he tries to wrap his head around me being trapped inside a screen!

Sharing a student house with teenage boys opens your eyes to how young men have often been babied. Fortunately this is something I don’t have to worry about with my brothers as my mum has taught them the same independence that she bestowed upon me from an early age.

Being treated like a mini adult has helped me: I make flawless pancakes. At times, I am perhaps a little too preoccupied with the wellbeing of others. I always want to be by the sea, because walking along a little stretch of sand with my mum is more calming than any form of meditation.

My mother is a teacher, parent and friend; although she hasn’t had a hand in inventing the modern computer, or discovering the structure of DNA, I’m certainly justified in celebrating the difference she has made to hundreds of children’s lives.

While she remains fun-loving and full of life, I won’t say that my mum suffers the trials and tribulations of having to raise teenagers completely without complaint! After all, no one likes a martyr! But every ‘Thank you’ box of chocolates, novelty mug and Waitrose voucher (unused, we both find Waitrose unnervingly posh) is more than deserved for my best friend.

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s a fan of the new series Bridgerton in schools is relevant to the career we pursue, but we (2020), I’ve thrown myself into historical study it to have a well-rounded education. So why romance novels and what struck me was I taught about the Pythagorean theorem (which most was that the fetishisation I definitely don’t use anymore) and not of virginal and innocent women is female masturbation? I’m almost still around today. Although you certain that people masturbate aren’t necessarily going to be more in a week than they branded a ‘fallen woman’, use Pythagoras. it seems that your More often than not, credibility as a young women start having woman is unfairly sex without even diminished if you understanding admit to indulging their right in self-pleasure. to enjoy it.

Recently, Whether you YouTuber Zoe identify with Sugg, a.k.a a religion or Zoella, has been weren’t raised making headlines in a religious surrounding household, AQA’s decision to there is still remove her from the societal the GCSE Media expectation that Studies syllabus. The pleasurable sex is examination board for men. Even if we made this decision aren’t all running following a blog post around shouting, ‘Sex posting a guide to the best is for procreation!’, many sex toys which AQA deemed AA Batteries, £6.29 | Duracell still view the male orgasm not ‘suitable for GCSE as the climax of heterosexual students’. The sad fact is intercourse and disregard female that female masturbation is still considered pleasure entirely. And it’s hardly taboo and although Zoella didn’t create the content surprising, considering our sex education. for 16 year-olds, she defends their right to be taught Although I feel AQA’s decision never should have about female pleasure. happened, at least on the other hand it is opening Growing up, I was never told about masturbation up the conversation about female masturbation and for women; it was only ever fleetingly touched upon pleasure. Now more than ever, women are discussing by my nervous Year 6 teacher, and it revolved around their wants and desires, defending their rights to men. I wasn’t truly aware that it even existed until enjoyment. The power that comes from knowing our much later! It is interesting to see that educating the own bodies and realising that self-pleasure is healthy future generations on a natural element of our lives and natural is something we all deserve. Because guess what: women masturbate! isn’t seen as crucial. Not everything we get taught troling on |K

Self-love

Juliette Dudley explores the importance of female masturbation

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Spring awakening: this season's trends

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Helena Reeds gives us the lowdown on spring/summer fashion

espite still being locked away in our houses, there is light at the end of the tunnel, as our new roadmap out of lockdown has been revealed! At last, all those outfits I’ve planned in my bedroom during lockdown will finally see the light of day, and maybe even the inside walls of a ‘spoons! In preparation for these thrilling times ahead, we should look at the new spring trends so that when we do finally step out, we do it in style.

Puff sleeves Prepare for some shoulder action as 2021 gives this traditionally romantic trend a whole new attitude. This season, opt for a puffed sleeve dress in black for a fiercer look or use ballooned sleeves on a jacket to channel the utilitarian trend. Dial-up a classic trench with a puff sleeve to give your outfit a brand new look.

Whichever way you style this take on a classic trend, remember, the bigger the puff...the better!

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The theme for SS21 is joyful and fun. It’s time to leave our comfort zones of neutral tones behind and venture into the world of colour. We are seeing the lighter ‘millennial pink' being traded in for ‘Barbie pink’ and bright fuchsia hues. Although we saw a multitude of different brights on the catwalks, pink really is paving the way this season. Look to the Jacquemus pink festive capsule collection for inspiration on how to don this trend.

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Unsplash / Ashley West Edwards

Editor MANON WILLIAM Digital Editor MORGAN COLLINS Deputy Editor MAY GARLAND

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Another way to incorporate the 60s trend into your wardrobe is to look for psychedelic prints. In a world where travelling has been put on hold, there’s been a clear appetite for escapism in our clothing. Euphoric prints and rainbow patterns covered the Gucci SS21 collection and are infiltrating the high street.

Take a look at these House of Sunny trousers from their new collection – they just *scream* psychedelia!

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VICHY's hyaluronic acid keeps oiliness at bay with a lightweight gel forumula. It hydrates without leaving your skin feeling suffocated.

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Mix your lotions and potions by adding a few drops of this to your moisturiser for an extra watt of hydration and a radiant finish.

REN Clean Skincare Evercalm Anti-Redness Serum, £36 Look Fantastic This calming serum is the perfect solution for sensitive or blemishprone skin. It allows you to add hydration without chancing a breakout.

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VICHY Mineral 89 Hyaluronic Acid Hydration Booster, £20 | Look Fantastic

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The 1970s style chat has been making a resurgence in the past year and will really come in full force this spring. For men, take inspiration from the SS21 Gucci and Celine shows to emulate the 70s look that Harry Styles pulls off oh-so-well. Wide leg corduroys and oversized aviators were all over the SS21 runways and are fun pieces to incorporate into our everyday wardrobes. Just go easy on the prints – we don't want to look like we are cosplaying Austin Powers...

Hydrate to glow

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A love letter to my mother's style

Unsplash / Ruben Ortega

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Epig ram

Thea Dimopoulou shares the style advice given to her by her mum

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ear Mum, I was debating how to start this letter. It’s difficult to reflect on all the tips you have given me. Firstly, it seems only fair to say thank you! Thank you for the many things you have taught me about style and fashion. From dressing up to dressing down, from sporty looks to haute couture. Thank you for always reminding me that I should not care about what people say or think, that I should prioritise wearing what makes me happy and what makes me feel the best about myself, how I shouldn't care about the size on the tag but rather how it fits my body.

You always wore what made you feel best. No matter what people said or expected, you always got so many compliments because you were just being yourself.

You always remind me that just as everybody is different, every body is different. You remind me of the importance of knowing my body, accepting myself and flaunting everything I was 'blessed with'. I now know I should invest in timeless pieces and spend less on current trends, as they are only temporary. I will always remember you telling me to stay classy and teaching me how to dress for an occasion. I continue to be amazed by how much of a difference a good outfit can make on a day-to-day basis on my mood and my life in general. Thank you for making me understand – regardless of my protests – that less is more. You taught me it’s better to invest and treat your clothes well, rather than spending money every couple of months on cheap duplicates, because in the long run you save money. And as you always used to say – 'clothes need to last a long time'.

One thing I will always remember is your magic ability to combine colours. You were able to make outrageous patterns or block-colours look sophisticated and you always managed to stand out when necessary. The same thing goes for textured clothes. Thank you for making me realise that a plain shirt with jeans and a handbag is equally as easy to put together as a dress with a fur coat and a clutch. But, regardless of how entertaining it can be to experiment with clothes, you taught me that when in doubt always use a neutral foundation and build up. From a coffee date to running errands to a job interview: a neutral, minimalistic outfit makes you look more confident.

So, I just want to say thank you for letting me make my own mistakes, fashion-related and otherwise, but most of all thank you for never leaving my side.

Thea x

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Beauty secrets from my mum

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Ellie Gladwin gives us her mother's beauty lessons

Queen of clean The one thing my mother taught me was that you are never amiss with a clean face. For me, glowing fresh skin is the key ingredient needed to feel confident; after all, your face is the first thing people notice about you.

The best place to start is with a great canvas. The beauty industry thrives off ‘hat’s your skincare regime?’ videos that have showcased everyone from Lily Collins to JLo and her glow. Serums, acids, eye creams, masks, toners, sprays, oils. We love it, but don’t necessarily need all of it. The trick is to understand your skin and work out what it needs. My unt in Chicago founded a skincare brand for oestrogen-lacking women and she always tells me ‘you have to observe and respond to what’s going on with your skin’.

Understanding what’s going on means you can adjust your skincare regime, depending how you’re eating or how much water you’re drinking to achieve a healthy glow!

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Face scrub, £4

Each to their own Everyone is so different in how they present themselves and how they choose to do their makeup. The main thing my mother taught me was to try! If you see something that looks funky on Instagram, give it a go with the kit that you already have. You don’t need all the kit and kaboodle to execute your interpretation! Secondly, my mother always taught me to be honest with myself. Is it the best look for you? Everyone has totally different face shapes, features, skin tones, skin colours and so if something looks better on models than it does on you at least you’ve had a productive procrastination period! If it looks just as good, if not better, on you then there we have it! You’re on fire!

Right, so obviously your face is not a poster or a holiday picture, but my mother always told me to frame your face in ways that don’t just consist of makeup. Experimenting with your hair and jewellery is a subtle but high-impact way of focusing on that gorgeous face!

Warning: this is by no means an endorsement of the cut-your-own-lockdown-fringe trend.

It is not. We all know how that goes. Do some research and go to someone who knows what they’re doing! If you do go for a fringe, know that although it is semi-high maintenance, a lot of hair salons do free fringe-trims (gosh that’s a mouthful)!

My mother is a jewellery addict, so awareness of different types of accessories was instilled in me from a young age. Kick-ass earrings can frame the face, making it look longer, and more defined, generally framing it more creatively. Necklaces do the same.

The way you dress your décolletage draws the eye up to your face, framing it differently.

Serum, £21.58 | SweetCare

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Editor SAVANNAH COOMBE Deputy Editor TIM QUINEY

Come dine with

Thea Powell shares her ideas for a Come Dine With Me-inspired dinner party

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s much as we all (mostly) love our flatmates, spending night after night with the same household can get a little tiresome, especially with this no-pub era that we find ourselves in. So, what’s the solution?

For every flat, there is always a flat ‘chef’, although what this really means will vary from flat to flat, from those who make exquisite meals and to those who can simply use an oven. Why not turn this spectrum of culinary ability into a Come Dine with Me (2005-present) competition? Here are some foolproof ideas for you to try.

C’est la vie

A baguette and five bottles of Bordeaux red. Job done. In all seriousness, a lot of French cuisine can be incredibly easy whilst also being wonderfully delicious – a French onion soup or a ratatouille are perfect examples of this. There are also a lot of more challenging dishes for the more adventurous chefs among us, all equally delicious too.

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No fussy eaters will be left behind if everyone gets to chip in and make their own. A Mexicaninspired meal will go down a treat with chilli, tacos, enchiladas and nachos with cheese to sink a ship. Nothing can go wrong. Unless you opt for margaritas too. In which case, good luck!

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Spilling the tea: Tim’s tasty tips

TV and film There are heaps of options for this one and what you opt for will inevitably depend on your personal interests.

Associating food and drink with your favourite film or TV show can be tricky, so try to pick something which already has obvious links with a dinner party theme. A James Bond night, for example, works brilliantly: a black-tie dress code and dry martinis. Shaken, not stirred, obviously.

Continuing with the regional themes, we have the classic Italian.

There are so many ways to stray from the norm of pasta if you’re feeling adventurous, all with cheap and easily accessible ingredients: caprese salad, risotto primavera and you can never beat a good tiramisu. Still set on pasta? Go crazy – make your own from scratch.

Hopefully this has provided you with some sort of inspiration and you can use these house dinners as practice for the upcoming post-lockdown dinner parties we’ll all be having.

Just don’t let it get too competitive.

If you’re looking for something else new and exciting, check out the recipe for Espresso Martinis on the next page. They’re the perfect dinner party guest, every time!

Epigram / Tim Quiney

Mamma mia!

There may not be much difference between weekdays and weekends at the moment, so having something planned for Friday night is now more crucial than ever, in my opinion.

Enter Jungle Juice – a massive pail of improvised cocktail to share. Creating a good one actually requires more thought behind it than you might first think.

My tip for creating your own potion would be to have an overall colour and flavour profile in mind when deciding what to mix.

The essentials are a decent sized container (we went for a 12 litre, but we are a 10-man house), ice (although you can always just put the ice in the serving cups if you don’t want to dilute your mix), fruit (frozen is good as less ice is required) and then your spirits and mixers of choice.

I would say to bear in mind the colours of the mixers and alcohols. You don’t really want to be adding reds and green, for example, or you’ll get a swampy brown liquid, so try and pick similar colours - they’ll likely be similar in flavour anyway!

You can use this to your advantage. If you want a lime or neon green drink, try mixing a blue alcohol like Blue Curacao or WKD or any (blue mixer) with a yellow drink like pineapple or orange juice.

We attempted to keep our first Jungle Juice pretty simple with berry-forward flavours, and we were rewarded with a sparkling pink drink that we would definitely make again.

Our recipe involved two litres of (the cheapest) vodka, two litres of cloudy lemonade, two litres of cherry-ade, two litres of strawberry Tango and 12 cans of strawberry & lime Kopparberg cider, ice and a bag of mixed frozen berries, divided between two batches.

Yes, it was pretty sweet but yours doesn’t have to be. They are really fun to make and even better to drink. Do have a think though beforehand about your planned combination, so that it tastes nicer when you’re not thinking as much.

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Easy-peasy espresso martini

The Food section teaches you to make everyone’s favourite cocktail

Top Tip!

Maple syrup or honey can be used instead of sugar syrup

Ingredients 2 shots vodka 1 shot coffee liqueur 1 shot cooled strong black coffee 200ml water White granulated sugar Lots of ice Coffee beans (optional)

Method 1 Bring water to boil in a small saucepan on the stove 2 Add sugar until complete saturation has occurred. Allow to cool on the side 3 Put lots of ice in a cocktail shaker or, if you don’t have one, a travel mug will do (remember to block the drinking hole) 4 Add vodka, coffee liqueur, coffee and one shot of cooled sugar syrup (or to taste) 5 Shake vigorously until the outside of the shaker has frosted over 6 Strain into a martini glass (or any other shallow glass), the ice should stay in the shaker 7 Allow the drink to settle so that a thick, foamy head settles at the top of the glass and garnish with three coffee beans

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Your fill of food podcasts

food​

Savannah Coombe recommends the podcasts to cure your lockdown boredom

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s we settle into TB2, but lockdown continues, it’s likely we are all going to have a lot more time on our hands. Why not spend some of it sinking your teeth into some meaty podcasts? This list offers a taster of some really moreish shows. From famous faces like Jessie Ware and Jay Rayner to smaller fish like ‘If Music Be the Food of Love’, there are plenty of delicious treats here sure to satisfy your podcast cravings. All of them dish out some unbeet-able content (that one was a stretch).

If Music Be the Food of Love

Table Manners with Jessie Ware

Singer Jessie Ware and her mother, Lennie, host this podcast that doubles as a foodie safe haven and celebrity tellall. The concept of the show originally centred around the Jewish Shabbat Dinner on a Friday. Celebrity guests would be invited to join the pair for Shabbat Dinner – featuring a traditional meal cooked by Lennie – to speak about all things food-related.

With lockdown restrictions, most of the episodes now take place over Zoom. This has meant that they’ve been able to interview celebrities all over the world, including John Legend and Dolly Parton. There’s a huge host of local talent too though, like Dawn French, Munroe Bergdorf and Jamie Oliver.

Epigram / Izzy Moulding

Out to Lunch with Jay Rayner

Perfect for lovers of both food and music, two University of Bristol students, Izzy and India, started this project as a radio series which then evolved into a podcast. They take Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night quote literally and compare famous albums to food. They identify dishes and drinks they believe ‘signify the flavours and the sound’ of the songs on the album. It also includes history on both the musician, album and the food.

Albums they’ve explored so far include Gorillaz’ Plastic Beach (my favourite episode), Leonard Cohen’s I’m Your Man and Al Green’s Let’s Stay Together. You’ll definitely learn something new, and get to listen to some great new music at the same time!

Famous journalist and food critic Jay Rayner started this podcast in 2019 and, like Table Manners, it is also based around celebrity interviews. Jay Rayner picks a restaurant he thinks will appeal to his guest and the podcast is recorded over their meal, with all the amusing anecdotes that come with specials being read out and food arriving.

With COVID-19, Rayner has also had to switch up his model and now he orders a takeaway to the celebrity’s house while interviewing them over Zoom. His guests have included Mel C, Jamie Dornan and George Ezra.

The Off Menu Podcast Prepare yourself for a wild ride with this one. Similar to Out to Lunch with Jay Rayner, comedians Ed Gamble and James Acaster take a celebrity out to eat, except the restaurant and menu are all imaginary. The guest has to choose a starter, main, side, dessert and drink from ‘off the menu’.

Things get super weird as the meal is governed by a series of unpredictable rules. For example, the pair will choose a ‘secret ingredient’ before each meeting. If the guest mentions that ingredient in one of their orders then… well, allegedly the person gets ‘kicked out’ of the restaurant, but so far they have never followed through. Acaster and Gamble are hilarious and it’s the perfect podcast if you need a good laugh.

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Uni expectations

Editor ROSIE ANGEL-CLARK Digital Editor EVE COLEMAN Deputy Editor ELENA VENTURELLI

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Sophie Hutchison on freeing yourself from restrictive ideals

Epigram / Sophie Hu

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am trying my best not to beat myself up about the fact that I’m due to graduate in a little over four ch s t months and, well, it feels like I don’t have a lot to show for it. When I arrived at university, I pictured myself making hundreds of friends, going out every night and yet effortlessly getting firsts in all my exams and essays, my tutors fawning over me and my prodigious intellect. I don’t think I’ll ever really get over the fact that COVID-19 has taken away a whole year of my uni experience (hence the panic masters I plan on doing), but even if the pandemic hadn’t happened, I’m not sure I would’ve fulfilled all of the lofty hopes and dreams that I had before coming to university. TV shows and films set at universities and the general rhetoric around these years being ‘the best of your life’ certainly elevated my expectations of studying away from home, and even though I know now that the high hopes we often come to uni with aren’t always the most realistic, it still is hard sometimes knowing that they didn’t all come true.

In second year (pre-COVID), when I wasn’t too keen on tagging along to a party, a friend of mine would always exclaim ‘but you could meet your future husband there!’, and somewhat begrudgingly, but enticed by the prospect of everlasting romance, I would cave and go. According to The Student Room, one-fifth of students meet the person that they go on to marry whilst at uni-

versity. My dating life has not proved so auspicious. After several break-ups and many dates leading nowhere, I certainly don’t feel I’ve met my ‘one true love’ (if they exist), or at least I hope I haven’t, as I can’t exactly see myself settling down with a few kids and a cat with any of my friends or former flames. Yet, I feel more prepared for my future romances, thanks to the quote-unquote ‘failures’ in my dating life that I’ve endured over the past two-and-a-bit years. Besides, when I’m ancient and looking for embarrassing stories to tell my kids about their mother’s antics in her golden days, I’ll certainly have plenty.

At the end of the day, though it’s easy to blame ourselves for not achieving all the wild goals we set for ourselves before university, whether that’s finding a spouse or finding the meaning of life, the uni experience we’ve had has been un-

like any other. COVID has affected every aspect of uni life: preventing socialising, inhibiting motivation and making learning and studying far more difficult.

Instead of sauntering around campus and cramming into lecture theatres, or having library romances, most of us have ended up watching disengaging seminars through a screen, and I can only sympathise with first years who have been trying to make friends whilst banned from interacting with anyone outside their own flats. I often wonder about who I may have met and what I may have done had the pandemic never happened, but there’s not much use in thinking that way.

So, no – I’ve not made thousands of friends, nor have I pulled a Mark Zuckerberg and established a multi-billion-dollar company alongside my studies. I’ve not found someone I’ll have a lucrative career in comedy with à la Bristol alumni David Walliams and Matt Lucas, nor have I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. When I look at it like that, it seems my university years weren’t all they were cracked up to be.

But in reality, I have had the best years of my life thus far – sure, they probably won’t go down in the history books as particularly noteworthy or impactful in the grand scheme of humankind, but I’ve enjoyed them and learnt a lot from them, and I know that when I eventually become a CEO or world-renowned writer, or whatever I end up being (and there’s plenty of time for me to get there), I’ll look back fondly on these years.

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Rebecca Widdowson shares her experience in the third lockdown

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LGBTQ+ Lockdown

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his lockdown has not been fun. The other lockdowns weren’t exactly a party, but at least I was in Bristol with my friends. Now that I’m stuck at home, I feel a million miles away from anyone and everyone else. In the past, when I was feeling overwhelmed by my workload, I was able to walk along the corridor and knock on my friends’ doors. Now? I’d be lucky to see someone I know in the queue for Tesco.

To help me cope with these feelings of isolation (and to keep me from hiding under my bed and only communicating via demonic screeching), I’ve tried using social media to reach out to people. I started with friends and family, arranging afternoons or evenings when we could catch up in an attempt to reassemble my support network in cyberspace. But since uni started again, the time when we are all free has dwindled to almost none. I haven’t spoken to one of my best friends, who is studying to be a doctor, since January.

I tried making new friends, using apps like Bumble to meet likeminded people in my local area. This backfired ever so slightly when a friend of a friend of a friend tried to get me to be a brand ambassador for their LGBTQ+ clothing company.

Think t-shirts with witty slogans like ‘my girlfriend thinks I’m gay’. It only took me a week to realise this person was not actually trying to be my friend, but trying to get me to invest money into their company. But hey, at least now I can cross ‘joining a pyramid scheme’ off my bucket list.

This product pandering to my community was so NOT what I’d signed up for, so I started looking inwards instead. I decided to occupy myself with something that had nothing to do with social media. Keeping my hands busy, I thought, would help me channel my nervous energy into something productive. This is why I now own a gravitationally challenged stuffed sock dragon, made of rainbow socks, naturally. But making this sock creature was easier said than done and my attempts at sewing gave me both physical and emotional damage (it’s REALLY hard to thread needles!). So, I turned to writing in a lastditch attempt to placate my inner demons. And…it has kind of worked.

Writing short stories helped me focus all that stress and worry into something physical, something that I could see growing before my very eyes. They also offered up a solid platform for me to explore and confront some of the things I’ve been feeling. So, for an hour or so each day this month I’ve been doing just that – confronting myself. My previous lockdown experiences have taught me that there’s nothing good in repressing your feelings. You’re already cooped up indoors all the time (now more than ever, as it’s so cold outside), so don’t put your emotions under lockdown as well. Trust me, I’ve been there.

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Why my weight isn’t d by my bathro

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This International Women’s Day, Juliette Dudley reminds eve

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Jameela Jamil, who I consider to be s International Women’s Day ‘You place the blame upon almost our modern-day Kahlo. approaches on 8 March, I I can’t help but see the similarities bewanted to take a moment to yourself, especially when you’re tween the two women. Kahlo suffered encourage fellow gals and very young. But also just shame from many health issues growing up, pals to channel a woman who has infor being a woman. You’re too similarly to Jamil, and at 18 was injured spired me when times are tough. in a bus accident, leaving her with multiThe actress, activist, writer and modskinny, you’re too fat, you’re ple spinal problems. el Jameela Jamil is most commonly recnot smart enough or you’re too Jamil is very open and honest about ognised for her role in NBC’s The Good smart. I completely accept my the struggles she has faced: she was a vicPlace, but she also created the I Weigh Movement in 2018, ‘for us to feel valuable own fuck-ups, but a lot of things tim of racist bullying at school, abused as a child and was later sexually assaultand see how amazing we are, and look that have caused a lot of trauma ed multiple times. At the age of 17, she past the flesh on our bones’. are not my fault.’ severely damaged her spine in a car crash As women, we face so many challenges alongside suffering from numerous oth–Jameela Jamil and expectations that it can be hard to er medical issues. Her experiences led to understand why we fight for change and a deterioration in her mental health and keep a brave face. Jamil’s podcast and she eventually decided to see a therapist after she attempted website have been beneficial to channel and manifest when to take her life in her mid-twenties. faced with a hurdle. When faced with a roadblock, I ask: ‘What Jamil first created the I Weigh Movement as an Instagram would Jameela do?’ I have also been a huge fan of the Mexican campaign to promote inclusivity, social justice and mental painter Frida Kahlo for many years – in fact, my bedroom health, whilst encouraging people, has been called a shrine to Frida!

The two women have especially women, to value and inspired me for so long and continue to do so ‘weigh’ themselves every day. I felt it was i m p o r t a nt by their to shine a light o n achievements and successes – instead of in kilograms. I have not stepped on a weight scale in about nine months and I now keep a record of all my small and big wins throughout the year; my life has never been better.

Her episodes and articles inspire people to drive social change. She interviews some exceptional women (my favourites are Gloria Steinem and Reese Witherspoon) that delve deep into their own mental health struggles and how they have overcome challenges and hurdles in their personal and professional lives.

As students, we often feel isolated and unsure as to where we stand in society if we don’t have the right support system. It wasn’t until I came to university and found like-minded people that I started to wire

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feel comfortable in my own skin. Until I found my own tribe of incredible people, I relied very much on manifesting the positive energies and attitudes of these two women.

The two iconic figures have helped me come to terms with my own sexuality. One of Jamil’s messages that really resonates with me is ‘feel no shame about getting it off your chest and know you aren’t alone’.

Both Jamil and Kahlo have encouraged me to feel comfortable in my own skin and realise that the norm for other people doesn’t have to my own.

Kahlo has always stuck out as a key historical figure within the LGBTQ+ community, known for her modern attitude to sexuality and identifying as bisexual in 20th-century Mexico.

After Jamil opened up about her sexuality, identifying as bisexual and possibly pansexual, she received much criticism, but still continues to be an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights.

The I Weigh podcast has reinforced to me the responsibility we all have to be loud and talk about the inequalities that we, as women, and other minorities face.

I have learnt and continue to practise harnessing and expressing the power I hold as a 21st-century woman, focusing on the importance I hold and how I can be someone’s inspiration and motivation one day.

My challenge to readers is to ask yourself what you ‘weigh’ and what you like about yourself, and then tell everyone!

Although I may not be a world-renowned women’s rights and wellbeing activist, I’ll forever make sure that I and the people around me celebrate their own worth and significance.

wellbeing​ Coping with a compromised uni experience Caitlin Palmer O’Shaughnessy Wellbeing Columnist

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here is nothing – and I mean nothing – going on apart from uni work. Gone are lunches in the library or spontaneously bumping into a friend in a lecture and deciding to go for a coffee.

Our commute is now a solitary trip from bed to desk, and study breaks where you would usually stop for a chat with a mate have been replaced with trips to the kettle for your seventh cup of tea of the day.

You might think that this is great: we can finally give our uni work the unrivalled attention it deserves and start getting the grades we know we would have gotten all along if it hadn’t been for our mates constantly distracting us.

Well, this is where I think things have the chance to go a bit wrong.

When your whole university experience is made up of sitting at a desk all day, it can begin to feel as if your degree and the grades you get are the only things that matter.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to work hard, but not to the point where your entire self-worth is defined by grades. Usually, we would have nights out with friends or society events to balance out the intense academia, but right now we’re getting 100 per cent academics and zero per cent social.

If you are feeling totally overwhelmed by work, then all I can say is that slowly things will go back to normal.

For now, try enforcing strict time rules and say you’ll only work between those hours; that way, you still get time off to do what you want (within the lockdown guidelines), and the academic side of uni won’t take over your life.

Before you know it, we’ll be back to running into friends on campus and you’ll be reminded that – whilst important – studying and grades make up one part of a whole, big uni experience.

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Editor DAISY GAME Digital Editor MIA MUSA-GREEN Deputy Editor REBECCA PARDON

Mother-daughter moments In the approach to Mother’s Day, the Travel Team share their fave mother-daughter trips When I reflect, so many of my mother-daughter moments have been created while travelling. From day-to-day trips like going to watch a movie or grab a bite, to occasionally when my mum was a chaperone on a school trip and, eventually, to travels abroad. One of my favourite mother-daughter trips was way back in 2015 when my mum and I went to New York together to visit my Aunt who lived there (and to get some well-needed girl time!). Even though we experienced a major flight delay (it literally was delayed by 24 hours) and we went in February (it was icy cold!), my mum, ever the perfect planner, had concocted a thrilling itinerary. From a stunning view at the Rockefeller Centre to strolling down Brooklyn Bridge with a cosy hot chocolate to seeing Phantom of The Opera on Broadway, this trip could not have been more magical.

Photographs : Epigram / Rebecca Pardon

Rebecca

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I will always cherish the weekend trip to London that my mum organised for my 15th birthday: we boarded the underground with pure terror, marvelled at the towering glossy buildings and their busy, bustling inhabitants, and spent the majority of our second day in the Oxford Street Topshop.

However, somewhat appropriately for today, the trips with my mum that I treasure most are local and low-key. Routinely, our summers consist of packing water bottles, raincoats (“just in case”) and Polo mints for a trek down to Wembury Beach, where we embark on the same coastal path walks as previous years, and yet are always somehow pleasantly surprised when we find that the same daffodils and snowdrops have also returned.

Although these trips have become habitual, and we now have seen every quirky cottage, eccentric-looking tree and charmingly-placed bench dotted along these routes, they are only more special to me for being so.

Some of my fondest mother-daughter trips have been the ones closest to home. Living in Birmingham means easy access to the city or the country. I remember taking trips into the city centre and spending the day being a tourist in my own hometown: shopping in the Bullring, going for lunch in Chinatown and charity shopping in Harborne. Equally, hiking in the Long Mynd or taking shorter walks in Clent Hills have made for some of my most favourite moments with my mum. Although it’s difficult knowing that travelling abroad is not possible at the moment, it’s nice knowing that some of the best memories can be made at home! Family summer trips to Wales are also some of the best times spent with my mum. We would take trips to our favourite nearby town – Tenby – to buy our favourite vegan fudge and watch the coast. .

Royal Hysteria Xander Brett Travel Columnist

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hen the Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced they’re expecting a second child, my blood ran cold. I’m delighted for them, but the hysteria of a pregnancy alone sent Télématin into spirals.

No doubt Paris Match will be plastered this weekend with endless photos of Meghan and Harry, thankfully exiled to Los Angeles, not Paris like the previous lot.

In 1789, the French were given a choice. In fact, they were offered the same choice in 1830. Would they like a monarchy? Both times, they rolled out the guillotine and said ‘no’.

There are two things Britain does better, according to France: music and royalty. Our Queen is adored, and she plays to their fascination by charming them in impeccable French.

But France is also obsessed with members of the Royal Family that we’ve never heard of. Speaking to Adam Sage last week, the Times’ Paris Correspondent, I was told of the countless British journalists invited onto French television to discuss a royal birth, only to discover everyone else knows much more than they do.

He gets calls for comments before he knows the baby was born.

Adam can’t escape, but I certainly hope to be out of Paris by the time the next royal arrives.

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Stories from

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Jess Li reminisces about better winters past

Despite the ups and downs, the notable 20 odd hours coach journey and the weeklong sleep deprivation, the trip was highly coveted and enjoyed by students across all years. This week full of cheese, saucisson, alcohol, going-out and, of course, “high-altitude induced” slips and slides on the slopes will be forever ingrained in my heart, and acts as a promise of brighter days to come.

Photographs: Epigram / Rebecca Pardon

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he fresh breeze of air as you get off the coach, the peaceful yet mighty mountainous landscapes and the buzz of a diverse range of languages all around.

All of these things bring back a wave of nostalgia and a serendipitous feeling, and are part of the ski experience that makes it impossible to forget the golden days in the Alps.

The university ski trip, a mere two years ago, feels like a lifetime ago, yet still holds a near-and-dear place in many students’ hearts.

From the brightly coloured ski jackets to the loaded soft-shell suitcases containing mum’s homemade cookies piled up outside Coombe Dingle, the excitement of all the students about to depart to Val Thorens was hard to curb and filled the springtime air.

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Photographs : Epigram / Nadja Lovadinov

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uly 2019. We begin somewhere south of Belgrade, dazed from the sizzling sun, the heat pricks the hairs on my arm that rests on the car’s window ledge. Dreamily, I dissolve into the car seat of my dad’s Volvo V40 as we chase the serpentine curves of pristine rivers, completely bewitched by the bluest of waters. Riding along the backbone of Balkan civilisation, the Danube, the sunlight’s luminous reflections on the surface reveal a myriad of voices that serenade me with songs of love and tragedy. Driving west to Montenegro, enchanted by the river Tara, christened as the ‘Teardrop of Europe’, spaced out and dwarfed by black mountains that blanket the sky. Light trickles through the branches of the trees and folktales as old as the mountains are carried by the leaves and wind.

From exploring these immaculate landscapes, termed by locals as “Ne-dodji-ja” (a faraway place touched only by nature), to a mosaic of bustling, delightful cities, infused with alluring Austro-Hungarian and Ottoman architecture. Clumsily wobbling along the charming cobbled streets of Mostar and Sarajevo as chameleon skies cast a spell of shadows over the town, igniting dancing colours across the walls of minarets spiralling to the sky and church domes looming over the dimly-lit orange streets. Here one discovers overwhelming depth and layers of history that intertwine, repeat and contradict. The only truly clear aspect of this magical land are its waters.

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Roadtrip around f or m e h t s lav o g i u

Nadja Lovadinov describes her trip to Montenegro through her travel photos

Photographs : Epigram /

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deal with a complete lack of representation in the media. Not only this, but the sparse representation offered is often damaging and offensive or limited to stories that are violent and tragic.

However, there are a number of inspiring role models that have emerged in the past few years despite media reluctance to give a platform to transgender and non-binary people. In this series of RuPaul's Drag Race UK (2021), Bimini Bon Boulash and Ginny Lemon had a frank and open discussion about their experiences of being non-binary, especially in the world of drag. Notably, Ginny Lemon talks about coming from a working-class background, and how they never felt comfortable growing up.

Most importantly, the conversation is between two non-binary people discussing what being nonbinary means to them. It doesn’t serve as laborious explanation for those who don’t understand. To see them thriving in the public domain gives young non-binary people figures to relate to, something so valuable for all LGBTQ+ growing up.

It's important to remember though that there is still a long way to go. There are individuals that are visible, admirable and, all in all, very ordinary. Your role model can be a celebrity or person in the public eye, but they can also be anyone in your life who inspires you or makes you feel comfortable with who you are.

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ollowing the success of It's a Sin (2021), Russell T. Davies’ decision to cast “gay as gay” perhaps is one that more directors should take. Representation really does matter, not least when it comes to LGBTQ+ people seeing themselves on screen. The need to have a role model or someone to look up to, at any age, really is vital.

Just a few weeks ago, JoJo Siwa came out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community and revealed she had a girlfriend. At 17 years old, JoJo’s audience primarily is, and always has been, children and tweens. Queer role models for people of that age are few and far between, making JoJo Siwa’s coming out even more important. Most queer people have grown up without seeing someone like them living openly and happily. Really this is testament to attitudes that have clouded society and popular culture. Now these attitudes are waning, we can see more role models feel free enough to come out.

Until the year 2003, the notorious Section 28 was in place, prohibiting the teaching or “promotion” of homosexuality. Put in place by Margaret Thatcher’s government in 1988, a whole generation of children had even the most subtle hints to queer existence or acceptability censored from their education. In It's a Sin, we see Ash’s character, as a gay schoolteacher, is tasked with ridding the school library of any books that Section 28 would prohibit, essentially being told to obscure his own visibility.

Someone with such a young audience, like JoJo Siwa, being able to come out to an outpouring of support and now exist as a role model for other young queer people seems a world away from the censorship of Section 28. Though these steps are being made, there is still a long way to go.

Young transgender and non-binary people have to

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Alice Clarke on the importance of LGBT+ representation

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Plants like being SHOOK

According to PlantTok, shaking the trunk of your potted indoor plants simulates wind, strengthening the trunk and rejuvenating the leaves, allowing for a healthier, happier little boo thang.

How to fold a sandwich wrap

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By cutting one quarter line, from the centre point of the circle to the edge, you are able to fold three of the quarters of the wrap onto the bottom left, in a clockwise motion, making a fan.

Anything can be cake

People, cutlery, other food. It can all be baked into a culinary creation.

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Noodles: the new building tool

It may seem a little ghetto, ratatata, but DIYTok uncovered the use of dry noodles in furniture chips, wall cracks and even boats. Fill, glue, sand and recoat the damaged areas and they become unrecognisable from what they once were.

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The tedious task of beating milk and sugar in a cup with a fork radiates first lockdown energy. In a time of Doja Cat and Tiger King (2020), this sweet treat became the go to in the warm spring weather.

Perhaps a warmer alternative may be needed in these Baltic temperatures.

Taxes

On an economic note, our generation were finally taught about taxes. The shocking reality that the American system practically sets you up for failure was humorously illustrated by sketch creator, Nanny Maw, leading to informational clips on tax brackets and salary breakdown. We are no longer lost… bby gurl.

Along with the traditional funny dog and cat videos, TikTok has created a space for a variety of pets to be displayed. Ducks going through drive-thrus and even beavers in back gardens – people have some funky pets.

Don’t trust 5-minute crafts Every video leaves you more confused than the last. What was the reason, what – was – the – reason?

Epigram / Freya Scott-Turner

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‘It gets kinda exhausting people always saying ‘you’re so pretty’’ On a more sombre note, the app, like its predecessors, has been seen to reflect the status quo of its users’ societies. With its trends focusing on body and ‘bunda’ and most featured creators, such as Noah Beck and Addison Rae, epitomising Western beauty standards, the app has taught us that the way to fame is through your looks and, apparently, your ability to have a baby face and hourglass body simultaneously.

I just wanna be… appreciated.

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What animal are you?

Freya Scott-Turner matches you up with your animal alter-ego

On! You spend the whole hour staring at yourself.

You see someone absolutely stack it down the Christmas Steps...

...and drop everything to go and help them up.

Off – no one needs to see you in your spot cream and stain-covered Oodie.

Blackboard Collaborate: camera on or off?

You see an ex-flatmate walking down the road...

...you rush over and greet them as you would a long-lost son.

...and can now die happy, having witnessed the funniest event in history.

... duck and cover. Head down, avert eyes, pretend not to see. ...do nothing.

You are that someone.

You see a spider...

Do you have LinkedIn? ...and bravely escort it to safety between a glass and a bit of paper.

And shatter all the windows in the adjacent houses with your screams.

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CAPYBARA It’s official, capybaras are the purest, cutest, cuddliest little critters ever to roam God’s green earth.

Well, after you, of course. You are good vibes in a person, if sometimes taken advantage of.

FAINTING GOAT Without a doubt, you are the main character. More dramatic than Gemma Collins without her precious heated rollers, if there is a scene, you can be always found right at the centre.

Someone in your house has left a dish festering for days, you...

ORCA Oh hey, apex predator. You’re at the top of the food chain, the ultimate alpha. Your peers jostle for the chance to bask in your formidable shadow, and you’re more than happy to leave them to it.

Organise a group clean up.

Nah, ceebs.

Hells yeah!

How else would I flex my 17 internships?

CAT You don’t need friends, they disappoint you.

Much like your feline friends, you are fiercely independent and prefer your own company. No job is done better than when you are doing it yourself.

SLUG You live a peaceful, if lethargic, existence. Just merrily squelching along. Are we still in a lockdown? You wouldn’t know, since the restrictions have not altered your lifestyle in the slightest.