WFF Chapter 6: Spirituality

Chapter 6

Spirituality Aware of the grace, beauty and mystery of life

225

About Spirituality When our brain is in balance, we are naturally aware of the grace, beauty and mystery of life.

In EBT, spirituality is whatever you define it to be.

However, when the brain is in balance, a sense of connection comes naturally. We have no needs. We are just in awe – at the sunset, at the spider web in the corner of the room, at the freedom we feel to love and be loved.

The emotional brain is the seat of spirituality, so it makes sense that using tools to deeply connect with ourselves and the spiritual can launch chemical cascades that turn off the drive for external solutions.

The Spiritual Cycle

How do I feel?

What do I need from the Spiritual?

How does the What does the Spiritual Spiritual feel? need from me?

226

When Survival Circuits were encoded, we felt that nobody was there for us. There was no beauty, grace and mystery to life. However, the balanced brain state we are seeking is all about connecting so deeply to ourselves that we become aware of the gift of life, and our profound capacity to love and be loved.

Some people find this technique, the Spiritual Cycle, to be helpful in accessing that deeper connection, while others find that it is not useful. This is not a religious program, but a brain training program. Consider using it only if this seems helpful. If you try it, do so at a moment of intense stress.

When unbalanced, at Brain State 4.5 to 5.0, ask yourself, “How do I feel?” and “What do I need from the Spiritual?” Then ask yourself, “Being aware of me in this situation, how might the Spiritual feel?” and “What might the Spiritual need from me?”

Substitute any words for the Spiritual that are in harmony with your world view, such as life, the planet, God or other term. Again, if this is not in keeping with your views, disregard it.

I was at Brain State 5 and just about to go into my daughter’s room and scream at her. I had a survival need to make her wrong. I said, “How do I feel?” The words that came into my head were: hateful, mean, enraged. Then I asked, “What does the Spiritual 227

need from me?” At first nothing came into my mind.

Then the words were: not to go into that room. Even though you want to tear into her, pause. Just pause.

Next I asked, “How might the Spiritual feel?” and the words that came to me were: SAD. Last, I asked, “What does the Spiritual need from me?” To feel love for my daughter and to feel love for myself. I ended up with goose bumps on my arms and a wave of love in my chest. This really worked for me.

A few of my siblings are involved in religion in ways that don’t seem very spiritual. Others avoid religion altogether. I have been in both camps. I may try this later, but not right now.

228

Emotional Evolution: Desire The sixth core circuit of emotional evolution is based on desire.

In that moment of stress, when our greatest desire is to feel worthy, we feel undeserving. Therefore, we push away the bounty of life that could be ours for the taking.

We cannot receive … it feels wrong and unsafe.

The false generalization that is encoded in the brain is: I am not worthy.

To rewire it, you can do another Grind In. First state the reasonable expectation, then the essential pain, and finally the earned reward you will receive for accepting it.

Core Expectation: I am worthy.

Essential Pain: I must receive.

Earned Reward: Spirituality

I give and give until I am empty, then I get depressed and feel powerless. This Grind In has been great.

When I’m in Brain State 4 and feeling worthless, I start from the first circuit and build to this one: I do exist. I am not bad. I have power. I can do good. I can love. I am worthy. It’s an emotional anchor for me.

229

Freedom Let’s focus on the drive for that external solution and add to your repertoire a few new techniques.

Re-wiring the Circuit Chances are that the Survival Circuit has been weakened and the drive for your external solution has faded.

However, these circuits are very primitive and they do not go quietly into the night without a focused persistent approach. What follows are two strategies for taming and continuing to break that circuit.

230

Transforming that Circuit: 10 X 10s As you transform the circuit by connecting deeply with yourself, natural pleasures are easier to find.

However, changing the habit of reaching for that external solution and getting hooked on natural lifestyle pleasures can be stressful.

One effective strategy for processing that stress is the 8 'O ONLINE AND POST ON THE #YCLES &ORUM ON the same topic daily for 10 days, all while continuing to do 10 Check Ins daily to clear away the stress involved in rewiring that circuit. Honing in on a “knot� of circuits with daily Cycles can be very effective.

I never learned how to eat. Nobody ever taught me.

I HATE it that I have to teach myself. I’m doing a 8 ON CHANGING MY 3TRESS &OOD HABITS ) M DOING A 8 ON HOW ) GOT IN THIS MESS how I let all those years go by while I was just being miserable. I want to unravel that knot of circuits.

I’m an exercise junkie, and I go right to Brain State 5 if I can’t get my fix. The drive has faded but I still have THE HABIT ) LL DO A 8 I will do a 10 X 10 on: ___________________ _______________________________________ Did I do it? YES NO

Did it help? YES NO 231

Your Circuit: Separate or Connected?

These Survival Circuits can take two forms. Some are separate. They are a lone island, and when you erase them, they are simply GONE. The drive to drink, smoke, overeat, stay heavy, purge, spend or any other external solution vanishes.

Spending is history. I have no interest in it.

I listen to people talk about drugs endlessly and I wonder what they are thinking. Food doesn’t light up my brain anymore. I have lost that desire.

I would not open the refrigerator and get something to eat when I’m not hungry any more than I would go to the bathroom when I don’t need to relieve myself.

I get a craving for a cigarette now and then but it passes. It’s pretty much rewired.

Most Survival Circuits aren’t solo. They are connected.

You can tell because the drive for one external solution does not quite turn off or it turns off completely but another one takes its place.

Often we have more than one Survival Circuit and they are interconnected, which is one reason that the method includes the advanced courses. Right now, you may want to begin to think about your circuit, 232

and whether it is connected or separate and what other circuits may be tied to it. What’s the mood state you go to when highly stressed? That could be an emotional Survival Circuit. Do you tend to merge or distance when stressed? That could be a relational Survival Circuit.

My food circuit is attached to an emotional circuit: I get my safety from going numb. Somewhere in that cluster of circuits is my drive to stay heavy and my drive to merge with others. It’s definitely a “party” of circuits.

The drive to smoke has turned off, but now I’m craving cookies and alcohol.

My drive to drink has decreased 50%, but now I have an emotional Survival Circuit that’s rearing its head, that I get my safety from rage. I have a relationship circuit, too. I get my safety from distancing.

233

My Survival Circuit is: Separate Connected Not Sure My Emotional Survival Circuit may be: Hostility Numbness Panic Anxiety

Shame

Depression False Highs None Other: _________ My Relational Survival Circuit may be: Distancing Merging Both Your awareness of your circuits begins the rewiring process . . .

Website Support: www.ebt.org Check In Line: 877-765-4JOY Freedom Line 855-422-FREE

234

235

My Check Ins My State

Tools Used

Got To

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

Feelings are coming up.

I’m using Emotional Housecleaning.

236

My Progress Create My Day: “I am creating JOY in my life.”

Check-Ins

Check Ins

1

2

3

4

Joy Points

1 1

2 2

3 3

4 4

5

6

Check-Ins Joy Points 5 5

6 6

Exercise (60 minutes)

7

8

9

10

7 7

8 8

9 9

10 10

9

10

Joy Points

Sanctuary Time (10 minutes or more)

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Joy Foods (90%: Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner) Balancing Sleep (8 or more hours) Awaken Hungry (Body in Balance) _____ Total Points Today

Today’s Connection was with: _______________________________________ Biggest Accomplishment Today: _______________________________________ 237

My Check Ins My State

Tools Used

Got To

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

I squished a banana and it felt really good!

238

My Progress Create My Day: “I am creating JOY in my life.”

Check-Ins

Check Ins

1

2

3

4

Joy Points

1 1

2 2

3 3

4 4

5

6

Check-Ins Joy Points 5 5

6 6

Exercise (60 minutes)

7

8

9

10

7 7

8 8

9 9

10 10

9

10

Joy Points

Sanctuary Time (10 minutes or more)

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Joy Foods (90%: Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner) Balancing Sleep (8 or more hours) Awaken Hungry (Body in Balance) _____ Total Points Today

Today’s Connection was with: _______________________________________ Biggest Accomplishment Today: _______________________________________ 239

My Check Ins My State

Tools Used

Got To

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

My circuit is: I get my safety from food.

240

My Progress Create My Day: “I am creating JOY in my life.”

Check-Ins

Check Ins

1

2

3

4

Joy Points

1 1

2 2

3 3

4 4

5

6

Check-Ins Joy Points 5 5

6 6

Exercise (60 minutes)

7

8

9

10

7 7

8 8

9 9

10 10

9

10

Joy Points

Sanctuary Time (10 minutes or more)

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Joy Foods (90%: Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner) Balancing Sleep (8 or more hours) Awaken Hungry (Body in Balance) _____ Total Points Today

Today’s Connection was with: _______________________________________ Biggest Accomplishment Today: _______________________________________ 241

My Check Ins My State

Tools Used

Got To

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

I am back playing basketball.

242

My Progress Create My Day: “I am creating JOY in my life.”

Check-Ins

Check Ins

1

2

3

4

Joy Points

1 1

2 2

3 3

4 4

5

6

Check-Ins Joy Points 5 5

6 6

Exercise (60 minutes)

7

8

9

10

7 7

8 8

9 9

10 10

9

10

Joy Points

Sanctuary Time (10 minutes or more)

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Joy Foods (90%: Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner) Balancing Sleep (8 or more hours) Awaken Hungry (Body in Balance) _____ Total Points Today

Today’s Connection was with: _______________________________________ Biggest Accomplishment Today: _______________________________________ 243

My Check Ins My State

Tools Used

Got To

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

1

2

3

4

5

ST FC EH C DC

1

Ac

My “Z” is to know my number.

244

My Progress Create My Day: “I am creating JOY in my life.”

Check-Ins

Check Ins

1

2

3

4

Joy Points

1 1

2 2

3 3

4 4

5

6

Check-Ins Joy Points 5 5

6 6

Exercise (60 minutes)

7

8

9

10

7 7

8 8

9 9

10 10

9

10

Joy Points

Sanctuary Time (10 minutes or more)

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Joy Foods (90%: Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner) Balancing Sleep (8 or more hours) Awaken Hungry (Body in Balance) _____ Total Points Today

Today’s Connection was with: _______________________________________ Biggest Accomplishment Today: _______________________________________ 245

Week 6 Progress Daily Points Average daily points this week?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Progress: Needs Work Good

8 Great

Freedom Assume your drive for excess is a 10 to start.

What was it this week?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Progress: Needs Work Good Great

10

Emotional Housecleaning I feel angry that ___________________________.

I feel sad that ____________________________.

I feel afraid that ___________________________.

I feel guilty that ___________________________.

I feel grateful that _________________________.

I feel happy that __________________________.

I feel secure that __________________________.

I feel proud that __________________________.

Collect a Joy Point!

246