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vol 4 no 1

FALL 2023 VOL. 4 NO. 1

EMORY UNIVERSITY’S JOURNAL OF CHRISTIAN THOUGHT

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Re(prefix)

1. Used with the meaning “again” or “again and again” to indicate repetition 2. Used with the meaning “back” or “backward” to indicate withdrawal or backward motion

OUR MISSION

Meaning “the way” in Latin, In Via is a journal of Christian thought at Emory University. Through the publication of creative and intellectual expressions inspired by the gospel, we hope to contribute a clear, relevant, and compassionate Christian worldview to campus conversations. Our name comes from John 14:6, where Jesus says, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Emory In Via gratefully acknowledges the support of the staff and members of the Augustine Collective, a network of Christian thought journals on college campuses throught the United States and the United Kingdom. We are thankful for the support of our faculty advisor, Dr. Joseph Crespino, and staff members from Emory’s Office of Spiritual and Religious Life.

FOR INQUIRIES emoryinvia@gmail.com

WEBSITE

www.emoryinvia.wixsite.com/my-site

INSTAGRAM @emoryinvia

scan to listen to In Via’s podcast “On the Way”

Staff Editors in Chief

Ulia Ahn | Brandon Choi

Director of Design Hannah Im

Managing Editor Emma Lee

Associate Editors

Carnes Mathis | Austin Park | Samuel Salameh

Staff Writers

Treasurer Jacob Choi

Events & Outreach Chair Sharon Hwang

Social Media Chair Christine Kim

Interreligious Council Representative Joonha Ko

Photos: Hannah Im

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Table of Contents

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LETTER FROM THE EDITORS | ULIA AHN & BRANDON CHOI

RENEW | EDEN MELKA

RENUNCIATE | SAMUEL SALAMEH

REPLAY | EMMA LEE

RENAME | AUSTIN PARK

REPENTANCE | CARNES MATHIS

REGRASP | SEAN HONG

REPENTANCE | JACOB CHOI

RELIGHT | RICHARD HERMANTO

REMEMBER | ADIA BARRERA

REST & REJOICE | EMILY JANG

RESPLENDENT | DANIEL BELL

vol 4 no 1

Letter from the Editors Cherished reader, In a world that relentlessly emphasizes progress and improvement, it seems counterintuitive to even consider glancing behind. In the midst of the go, go, go, how do you respond to the idea of reflection and backwards motion? Does the idea fill you with restlessness and anxiety? For many of us it may. In 2 Corinthians 5, the Apostle Paul shares that Christ has restored humankind’s relationship with God and that we have received a ministry of reconciliation as a result. As Christians, we are steadfastly referred back to the Cross that informs our present and future. While it is the same God who has reunited Himself with us, this reconciliation looks different for each of our unique faith journeys. In our current season, this may look like renewal, repentance, revelation, rejoicing, renaming, and even rest. The theme of In Via’s fourth volume is Re-. Completing this prefix, each piece of this issue will explore the ways in which we are called to come back again and live out our faiths in ways that are both new and old. As readers, we encourage you to reflect on this rhythm of return as you engage with the pieces that speak to our reconciliation through Christ. Residing in Christ,

Ulia Ahn Co-Editors-in-Chief

Brandon Choi

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Lord,

Recently, there have been many voices and opinions to sift through. I enjoy sharing thoughts and holding conversations about faith, but encountering points of disagreement can be so confusing. My mind has become muddled while clearing theirs. It often feels difficult to fall back on my firm foundation while evangelizing. I am growing weary of holding on to the truth and explaining it again. Still, I cannot turn a blind eye to those carrying the heavy yoke of sin. So I remain working through the muddle. Renew my mind.

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The more I explore the gifts You have given me, the more I am confused about what my calling is. Some days I feel I have so many paths and passions and prospects in front of me that I can’t possibly choose. Other days, I fear I would fail at every potential career or role. I try not to worry about tomorrow, but I want to run the race of life well. Renew my spirit. I want to connect with others, but it is so hard to not worship those connections. Your Word warns against aiming to win the approval of man. I want to please You. Let my words and thoughts honor You as I interact with others. Lead me towards mirroring You first and foremost. Help me to speak the truth and only what is of You. Show me how to relate to Your creation without compromising my character. Renew my voice. I have been fighting the idol of laziness. Some days it feels as though I lose more than I win. Each day, the pull of idleness seems to be growing stronger. It drives me away from living a purpose-driven life. I want to stay in bed. I want to scroll mindlessly. The voice in my mind narrates that I am too weak to conquer the daily battles before me. Renew my strength.

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new Faith without actions is dead. Actions alone do not acknowledge grace. There is a balance to be had. How do I maintain that balance when I feel like I am constantly leaning too far in one direction? How do I begin to define that balance to those who ask? Help me fight for Biblical truth even if it means receiving promised hatred from the world. Give me a clear mind and a steadfast spirit to defend the faith. Renew my discernment. I long for renewal. Last night, my father was crying over the impossibility of raising a daughter to live in the world but not of it. By teaching me to hold fast to You, the steadfast rock, he mourned that he was alienating me from the world that drifts further away from You. He worried about potential isolation, loneliness, and lack of connection. Then, he weeped from the reassurance that our God will give me exactly what I need. Renew my perspective. Lord, I feel stuck between who I am today, who my surroundings are making me into, and who You are molding me to be. So, please, renew me.

In Jesus’ name, Amen ARTIST STATEMENT: Albert Pinkham Ryder – The Moonlight Marine (1870-90) We hope for anchoring and renewal from God in a world of idleness and meaningless connection. Ryder’s wood panel work of a restless sea reflects this world, but with the moon to guide the ships, there is hope to finish the race well and taste renewal.

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REnunciate

n a society where identity can conflict with

| reality, conceit is disguised as self-love, and 10 me has become the most common word, the virtue | of renunciation has disappeared. In fact, does the

Western world, particularly Western Christianity, understand what true renunciation means? Is it not the commandment of the Lord to “deny [oneself], and take up [one’s] cross, and follow [Him]” (Matthew 16:24, NKJV)? All sight has been lost. Where does one’s focus lie? By the standards of the fallen world, the Christian life is challenging. But the challenge is where the battle begins. Indeed to fight the good fight, one cannot merely theorize or talk of it but rather take part in the very present spiritual reality in which humanity resides, for it is said that “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age” (Ephesians 6:12). All who stand for good, for truth, for Christ must wage a constant battle with the forces of evil. The battle starts within. It starts within the heart, and the heart must be disciplined. It can have an affinity for Christ but also for the antichrist, who embodies all that is evil, abhorrent, and impious.

It is only through self-sacrifice and self-denial that one can become like Christ. Jesus bore his cross. Must Christians also follow suit? It has been outlined clearly. The goal of Christianity is to unite with Christ by pursuing the example He has set forth–one of selfdenial, self-sacrifice, and crucifixion. To deny thyself, to sacrifice thyself, and to crucify thyself, one must look inward, toward the heart, assessing the passions of the soul. In pinpointing what is good and what is evil, the fight then begins. As self-awareness arises, the purging of all that is against Christ takes place. This is the inward expulsion of worldly desires. The means by which one purges evil is through direct combat. Direct combat is prayer–true unceasing prayer of the heart. For is it not said in the scriptures to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17)? Renunciation and self-denial are incredibly difficult in practice. It directly contrasts a life of consumerism and self-indulgence so often promoted by Western societies. It instead requires discipline of the heart, mind, body, and soul–an arduous effort. “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it” (Mark 8:35). Human beings are made to be with God. As created “in [His] image, according to [His] likeness,” humanity is designed for communion with Him (Genesis 1:26). Yet, communion is possible only through self-denial. Thus, evading self-denial would sever oneself from communion with God, who is life Himself. This leads to spiritual death.

vol 4 no 1 If self-denial conjoined with pursuing life As the faithful strive to love “the Lord [their] requires discipline, how is such discipline practiced? God with all [their] heart, with all [their] soul, and To discipline the heart, true repentant prayer is with all [their] mind,” so do others begin to follow required. To discipline the mind, passionlessness, that path (Matthew 22:37). It is by example that the mortification of internal evil, must take root, Christians must lead. Does love not beget love? abolishing the branching desires of the flesh. To To take up one’s cross is to love unconditionally, discipline the body, following the fasting tradition loving like Christ. It is showing love to others, even and frequently communing at the if that brings harm to oneself. This eucharist are two necessary tools For there are many is the path of true discipleship. To endowed by the Orthodox faith. sincerely follow the Lord is to walk ways, but only The soul, on the contrary, is not His path. No one said it’s an easy one route proffers life. In fact, Christ suffered the capable of discipline but rather reorientation toward Christ. Sin is ultimate hardship of crucifixion. life. The road is what drives humanity away from Who’s to say His followers must renunciation. Christ. Sin results from pursuing not also suffer? True discipleship self-interests. By not crucifying is a life of love. The disciple is like an ambivalent the passions and desires of the soul, not picking wanderer, torn between two paths, confused up one’s cross, the soul finds itself oriented away by the options as if one is not worthier than the from the shining East to the fallen West. The path other, holier, simpler than the hopeless alternate. of the antichrist leads to deprivation and pure The crucified have found the Lord. They love despondency. Instead, denying oneself and taking the wicked who envy them, the despondent who up one’s cross re-orients the sinner toward His slanders them, and the legionnaire who crucifies likeness. This is freedom. This is life. And this is them. For there are many ways, but only one route love–the most incredible contagion of all. proffers life. The road is renunciation. The road leads to Christ.

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REplay “To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame.” Psalm 25:1-3 (ESV)

Elementary School – Puyallup, WA

I help Mrs. Adams pass out papers. I help Mrs. Adams grade pop quizzes. Mrs. Adams asks me to help Tina with an essay because I’m good at writing. Mrs. Adams asks me to play with Sarah at recess because she is lonely. Mrs. Adams asks me because she trusts me. I start a class newspaper, and Mrs. Adams lets me read it aloud on Fridays. I write a class play, and Mrs. Adams lets me make them rehearse for the school assembly. I am a leader, and I think everyone likes me.

I won’t make that mistake again.

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I cry during recess, Mrs. Adams asks why Because they missed rehearsal, and George quit his role, says my friend. Mrs. Adams yells at George in front of the whole class. I cry and cannot hide.

Nobody likes a teacher’s pet.

Middle School – Puyallup, WA

My second year of middle school begins, and for the first time, I am looking forward to lunch. I spent last year eating alone while all my elementary school friends made new friends and joined new clubs. Mrs. Adams isn’t here, and

your teachers don’t even know your name. Wake-up call, isn’t it?

I pick up my lunch tray and get my food. But this year will be different. Because the elementary school friends who were a year younger than me are coming up to middle school. I imagine them confused and bewildered, starting their first year here. How happy they will be to see me, someone they look up to! A familiar face, someone to show them the ropes! I find their table at the corner of the cafeteria, and I march to them, carrying my lunch tray. It’s a circular table crowded with familiar faces, but some unfamiliar ones as well. I guess they made some new friends, but no matter. The familiar faces light up when they see me. “Oh my gosh, Emma!” “It’s good to see you!”

Saeyeon Ju

I laugh and talk, finding easy cadence and flow in my voice. For a moment, I’m back to my elementary school self. I missed this feeling.

vol 4 no 1 Their laughter fades. Their gaze shifts around the table as I do not move, standing there. seats.

“Oh, did you want to sit?” one asks. A ripple of discomfort across the table. There are no empty I laugh. “No, I just wanted to say hi!” I say.

They become at peace again. I walk in a straight line to the doors that lead to the courtyard, like that’s where I was planning to go all along. I walk out to an empty bench. The walls are transparent glass. I am sure they see me, as I sit alone at the bench. I am sure they see me, as I start to eat alone. I can’t help it. It’s a small cafeteria, and there’s nowhere to go that’s out of their view. I eat, the food not really going down. I imagine them watching me, wondering at how far I’ve fallen. Yeah, I’m no one here. That’s what you get for

being prideful.

Middle School – Puyallup, WA

There he is again. He’s tall and wears a long scarf that occasionally grazes the floor. We were in a student-directed play for class. We held hands when we bowed. I thought about it when I washed my hands after. In acting class, he tells me he will vote for me. I am running for student senate. I wrote my speech about how I demonstrated leadership in elementary school by writing and directing two plays. My English teacher said the speech was well-written, that I had a good chance of winning, that I would appeal to the theater kids. I feel warm inside.

You didn’t make it, of course. Teachers’ opinions don’t matter here.

Middle School Parking Lot – Puyallup, WA

A school bus hisses and leaves. Me and a friend, knew her for years. We stand at the stop, waiting for our parents to pick us up. “Today’s my last day of school,” I say. I’m moving away to Hawai’i. I won’t see her or anyone again. She winces a little. “Oh yeah,” she says quietly. A little shuffle, a little apologetic. Maybe she just didn’t have the words. But really, five years with these people and this is all you get? The familiar car approaches, and I get in. “How was school?” my dad asks. “Fine,” I say. The school fades away. Good riddance, I think.

Middle School – Mililani, HI

Someone in my art class has a similar voice to him. I freeze, turn around. It’s just some random guy. Their voices are so similar, I think. You’re a creep. It’s like I can see his scarf trailing behind every corner. You’re a creep and a loner.

My Bedroom – Mililani, HI

My new friend at school tells me I should download Instagram, so I do. I find my classmates from Washington. I see them laughing together. I remember their names. They probably don’t remember

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yours. I am happy to see familiar faces. But you’re Tess says, “Ooohh! That’s cool! I like the also angry. Don’t act like you’re not angry. descriptions! You’re such a good writer!” Amelia

looks apologetic. When I find him on Instagram, my heart squeezes. I send a follow request. He accepts. He “Do you want to sit with us?” Amelia asks. sends a follow request. I accept. I am happy. After I say no. They walk away in my peripheral view. I much deliberation, I send him a dm. A long one. keep writing. I keep writing. I keep writing. I was He responds. I cry. I cry. I cry. I laugh. too proud to accept their kindness. But that’s what “Sorry this is awkward… but I don’t remember you?”

College – Atlanta, GA God, You ask me to love other people, to say hi to people, to just say hi. What’s so hard about saying hi? I am a pathetic coward, that’s why. I know they’ve been nothing but kind to me. How long will I be angry? I replay these petty childhood scenes for an excuse to be distant and indifferent. But I know better by now. You’ve taught me better. I have no excuse. You’ve been too good to me.

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it was. Kindness.

At night, I lie in bed. I cry. God, I can’t live like this anymore. Please help me. Help me.

Home – Puyallup, WA My dad calls us into the living room around a table. I glance at my brother. What’s going on? “We’re moving to Hawai’i,” my dad says. My mind draws a blank. Where even is Hawai’i?

Middle School – Puyallup, WA

It’s my last week here. A quiet girl who I thought hated me because she cringes every time I say hi to Middle School – Puyallup, WA her gives me a handwritten card of thanks. The girl I am a fast eater. Lunch is too long. At a bench who sits next to me in science class gives me a gift outside, beside my empty lunch tray, I write in and a card, saying she is going to miss me so much. my black-striped journal, like I always do. Every Two girls from my leadership class bake cookies recess, every lunch, in between classes. for me and give me a gift: a thesaurus, because Two girls approach. Tess and Amelia. I like writing. Like I would ever use a physical They are a year younger than me, friends from thesaurus. I smile. I flip through. Some of the words are highlighted: awesome, beautiful, caring. elementary school. That feels like an eternity ago. Words that relate to me, they said. The highlighted “Hi,” Amelia says. I say hi without looking words stop by the letter “g.” Still impressive they up. I keep writing. got that far. “What are you writing?” Tess asks. There he is again. I hold the door open to “Just different stuff. Sometimes poems, sometimes my thoughts, or a story,” I say. I keep acting class as my classmates walk in and some of them say thank you, a thing l started doing because writing. “Ooh, can I read something?” Tess asks. I I want attention as much as the rest of them. As he pause. It’s very personal writing. But I flip through, walks in, his Magic: The Gathering cards fall from trying to find a semi-okay part to share. I do. She his backpack and scatter across the floor. I kneel reads it. She doesn’t understand. It shows on her and pick up the cards. He starts picking up cards too. face. “Thank you, Emma,” he says. He knows my It’s a thing I wrote about a girl who is writing and starts floating away as she does so, higher and name, I think. I mumble, “you’re welcome,” but it’s higher. Of course, it was me. I wanted to get out of so warbled and quiet that he probably doesn’t hear. When there’s only a few cards left, I stack mine there. on the ground and stand, so we don’t accidentally

vol 4 no 1 touch hands. And I am happy. I thank God in a me, but I feel a wall blocking me from becoming prayer. That was the last in-person interaction we close with them.

had. It was all I could have asked for.

I think of him, his scarf, his voice, his messages. It was years ago, but I can’t forget. My Bedroom – Mililani, HI He sends another message: “Hope ur okay.” I know I should be over him by now, but it still Sobbing, I reply, “By the grace of God, I will be.” hurts to be forgotten. I replay the memories to give I don’t care what he thinks. He already thinks I’m me a reason to pity myself, linger in the hurt, and crazy. I feel a rush of freedom. distance myself from others. When I was in Washington, I had a secret fear that everyone hated me. But all those people don’t even remember me. Everything I thought was a big deal was not. No one hates me. People are too busy with their own lives to care. It’s time for me to do the same. Thank you God!

Home – Mililani, HI

I feel a pressure in my chest, a push to stand. But I don’t want to share. If I share this story, then I release it, and I have no choice but to let go. But God asks me to take a leap of faith. Okay, God. If I

do this, You have to give me the right words, okay? I’m doing this for You, because I trust You. You see me, right? You’re right here with me.

Through the screen-door, there’s a strange glow I stand. I walk to the fire. I take a deep of color. My friends and I step inside. My mom is breath. I tell the story and his name: Tristan Jones. there with a shy smile. Pink streamers on the wall, After I share, I walk to the nearby tent big golden balloons: “16.” A cake with strawberries. where people go after sharing. People gather My friends ooh and ahh. We take pictures around me. Someone hugs me and warmth burns on my friend’s polaroid camera. I get giddy, my in my chest. I sob. I feel God’s grace in the embrace. voice getting louder as we talk and giggle. I never They pray for me. Someone tells me, thank you for thought I’d have this. sharing, with depth in her eyes. I return to my seat. The guy sitting next to me fidgets. “I’m sorry,” he Campsite – a remote town in HI says. I look at him, confused. “I feel bad,” he says, The campfire crackles. We sit in fold-up chairs with then turns silent, not having the words. But his blankets wrapped around us, firelight flickering words are enough. I am grateful. It hurts to feel the on our faces. Everyone waits. It’s testimony time. memory leave me for good, but in the hole it leaves Anyone can walk up to the fire and share something. behind, something new fills me. Peace breathes in I am surrounded by people from my high me as I thank God for giving me the courage to school’s Christian club for a retreat. My brother is share and the strength to let go. somewhere there too. They have all been so kind to

“ But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

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REname the weeds renamed

the weeds are called weeds. because they green & glow from the cracks, and i have also learned to hate my name because it comes from my roots, hemmed into the crevice, my shame mini-blooms in fragility because they’ve never deserved

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love, & rain wastes away the little joys i had. i wanted to share. but everything i poured out was less than You deserve. still You loved me first when I was inward the cracks; You call me by name when my roots are all i have. a broken and contrite heart: all i am. & Your rain that I thought was taking away is making room for a new heart, regrown, rejoicing because the weeds are called Yours.

vol 4 no 1

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“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.” 2 Corinthians 4:16

Photos: Ulia Ahn & Hannah Im

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REpentance R

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epentance is a sacred and holy practice, Lord’s mercy that we can find the true one that stems from within and points essence of repentance–a practice back to the heart of God. It is an integral part of that allows us to turn away from the Christian walk, most exemplified by Saints and our own wrongdoing and seek the members of the Early Church. St. Margaret Mary abiding love and pure ways of the Lord. We can come Alacoque, the patron saint of devotees of the Sacred to understand God’s design for repentance by turning Heart of Jesus, learned the devotion of the Sacred to the original meaning of repentance, teshuva, which Heart from Jesus during an apparition she received means “to return’’ or “a returning” in Hebrew.3 The in the 17th century. The Sacred Heart is an artistic act of teshuva, or repentance, is not a passive state of representation of the suffering, remorse but rather an active state of God calls us to find love, and compassion of the heart return, reconciliation, and personal of Christ towards humanity, often salvation.3 Each act of repentance refuge by living depicted as a bleeding, flaming is a commitment to turn away in His ways, an heart, pierced by the lance wound, from the ways of this world and to encircled by the crown of thorns, invitation that is only return to the way of Christ–love, and surmounted by a cross.4 The accepted through kindness, compassion, service, flaming heart is illuminated by the sacrifice, and forgiveness. His ways the transformative divine or ardent love that Christ are blameless and pure. Repentance has for humanity. St. Margaret is an invitation to recommit process of Mary Alacoqe and the Sacred oneself to walking in His ways. repentance. Heart are a beautiful depiction of Just as we find refuge in Christ’s unparalleled love and radical forgiveness. the safety of our home, whether that be a physical St. Margaret Mary Alacoque approached place, a warm childhood meal, or cherished family St. Claude, a Jesuit preacher and teacher, asking for and friends, God calls us to find refuge by living spiritual direction as Jesus had prompted her to do. in His ways, an invitation that is only accepted Father Claude skeptically said, “If Jesus appears to through the transformative process of repentance. you again, you go back and ask him what the last The act of repentance is founded on prophetic mortal sin was that I confessed. If you can tell me words. In the time of the Old Testament, before Jesus that, then I’ll be your spiritual director.” So When Christ, animal sacrifice in the temples was an integral Jesus appeared to St. Margaret Mary again, she part of teshuva. The Lord called for sacrifice at the asked Him just that. As recounted by Sr. Bethany altar, but that was never the final sacrifice, for the Madonna of the Sisters of Life, Jesus looked at final sacrifice was one far too great for humanity to her and simply replied: “I don’t remember.”2 understand. Through Old Testament prophecy, God Christ’s response is a testament communicated that His plan was much greater. While to God’s heart. As Christ spoke to St. living under Mosaic law, Hosea “desire[d] steadfast Faustina, “All the sins of humanity love, and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God, rather are but a drop in the ocean of my than burnt offerings” (Hosea 6:6, ESV). Even King mercy.”2 It is through the lens of the David pours out his heart to the Lord to repent of his

vol 4 no 1 sin and beg for God’s forgiveness, saying, “For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:16-17).3 These verses do not diminish God’s appraisal of sacrifice but rather show the extent to which God values true sacrifice–an act made out of the yearnings of a repentant heart. The Lord’s great plan for forgiveness rests upon the ultimate sacrifice– the blood of Jesus Christ shed on the cross so that we may have eternal life. Repentance means nothing without Jesus Christ, as His sacrifice laid the foundation for our return to the Father. Throughout the Scriptures, Jesus tells his followers, You are healed because of your faith. You are forgiven because your faith has set you free.3 Thus, teshuva is rooted in faith in Jesus Christ, a faith that brings us close to the heart of God. When we return to the feet of Jesus with a repentant heart, we trust that the Lord welcomes us with open arms and celebrates our return. Jesus’ sacrifice is the door for teshuva. The door is always open, for God’s heart is consistent and pure. God is love. Turn back to Him with a repentant heart and be welcomed home with open arms. The act of teshuva, or return, does not happen one time. Teshuva is a consistent process in which we must be intentional to reorient ourselves to Christ. In his Gospel, Luke contrasts the characters of the repentant and the unrepentant by comparing

the tax collectors and the criminal on the cross. In the stories of Zacchaeus, the rich chief tax collector, and the criminal on the cross, we learn that “the repentant are associated with self-humbling, a grief at sin and an admission of guilt, but also with joy and feasting and trust in Jesus.”1 Ultimately, we see that “repentance bears fruit, in terms of restitution and deep love,” a posture that is carried in relation to God and to others.1 With respect to others, the repentant do not hold pride towards others because they recognize that they bring an undeserving hand to the feet of Jesus and are all recipients of His goodness and grace. In reflecting upon this truth and the goodness of God, the magnitude and the mere beauty of repentance are heartbreaking in the most Holy sense. It is not of our own accord that we are able to continually return to the feet of Jesus with a repentant heart. The heart of the Father is what calls us back. His heart longs for us to return to Him and live in His image. Living in His image requires transformative acts of sacrifice and sanctification, but it starts in the quiet, solitary moments of day-to-day life in which we humble ourselves at the feet of Jesus out of the pure desire to return–to return to the place we were created for, to dwell and abide in God’s presence. Teshuva is a new beginning in which the blood of Christ can set us free from the ways of the world. Teshuva is hope, the hope for ultimate reconciliation with God.

Sources

ARTIST STATEMENT:

Ovey, M. J. (2019). The feasts of Repentance: From Luke-Acts to Systematic and Pastoral Theology. IVP Academic. 2 Sewell, M. (2017, February 15). St. Claude de Colombière and the lord’s radical forgiveness. National Catholic Registry. https://www.ncregister.com/blog/st-claudeand-the-lords-radical-forgiveness 3 Wieja, E. (2021, August 3). What Did Jesus Mean by Repent? The Hebrew meaning of Teshuva. FIRM Israel. https://firmisrael.org/learn/what-did-jesus-mean-by-repent-the-hebrew-meaning-of-teshuva/#:~:text=As%20seen%20in%20the%20story,more%20importantly%2C%20they%20showed%20transformation 4 Wikipedia contributors. (2023, October 25). Sacred Heart. In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 19:25, November 22, 2023, from https://en.wikipedia.org/w/ index.php?title=Sacred_Heart&oldid=1181854462 1

Majel G. Claflin – Retablo (Sacred Heart) (1939) Claflin’s painting takes a powerfully stripped down approach to representing the Sacred Heart. Each brush stroke is clearly displayed in a manner that mimics the deliberate and repetitive acts of repentance. The intentional reorientation towards Christ is called to mind through Claflin’s boldly simplistic stylistic choices.

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REgrasp Verse 1 Was crushed, by the weight of the world Forgetting all your glory Couldn’t help but be so broken

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Every step that I’m now taking Reflecting you in everything

So distanced, but you still picked up my pieces Love as the only reason You made me whole again

Bridge You’ve never let me go Still you won’t let me go You’ll never let me go You’ll never let me go

Verse 2 Still afraid, at the pit that lies beneath me When I can only see under me You hold my hand

Chorus 2 I’m with you again Nothing else can separate My fears that consumed me, they begin to fade

Trembling, by the fear that’s still consuming A gentle voice reminds me You hold my hand

My heart is on fire Let it be contagious Crying out to you now No you won’t let me down I see you again

Chorus 1 Running back to you again Nothing else can separate My fears that consume me, they begin to fade My heart is on fire Let it be contagious Crying out to you now No you won’t let me down I see you again I’m running back to you my God Nothing else that I could want Regrasping onto you my God Seeking you in every thought Verse 3 Shaken, but by the hand that holds me By the new name given to me I am now returning Running, until the end of the race

I’m holding on to you now Nothing else can separate My fears that consumed me, they’ve already faded Burning fire in my heart It’ll be contagious I’m crying out to you now No you won’t let me down I see you again I’m running back to you my God There’s nothing else that I could want Regrasping onto you my God Seeking you in every thought Looking back now you’ve been there Always right here by my side You will always wait for me Cause that’s who you’ll always be Composition & Recording: Sean Hong

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Saeyeon Ju

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REpentance R

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epentance comes from the Greek word metanoéō, meaning “to change one’s 1 mind.” We see one example of this word when John the Baptist says, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matthew 3:2, ESV). Repentance is a process that begins with the nonbeliever and continues into the life of a believer. It starts with the nonbeliever acknowledging that Jesus died and resurrected to save them from their sins. After acknowledgment follows true belief. When coming into belief, repentance continues as the individual recognizes sin in their life, which are actions that contradict God’s holy character as revealed through His laws. When the individual becomes self-aware of their evil sin, realizing it upsets God, it results in a change of mindset. Pursuing Christ produces greater self-awareness of one’s own sin. A self-aware individual instead pursues what is righteous before God, walking in a manner that is pleasing to Him. The story of the prophet Isaiah provides an example of repentance. When Isaiah received a vision from God, he recognized the holiness of God in contrast to his sinfulness, saying,

Having turned towards God, recognizing the dreadfulness of his own sin, Isaiah repents. He no longer carries the same mindset he had towards the sins he committed, but he accepts the task that God had given him of telling the people of Judah about their sins, deciding to walk in obedience before God. Repentance is a process I personally wrestle with, particularly as it relates to sharing the gospel. As Christians, God calls us to evangelize by sharing the gospel, which is the good news that Jesus died on the cross to bear the wrath of God that rightfully belonged to us because of our sins and that He resurrected on the third day for our justification (Romans 4:25). Evangelism can take many forms. For example, inviting non-Christian friends to church to hear the gospel or directly sharing this good news with a non-Christian. For many Christians, though, the difficulty in evangelizing to nonbelievers is often rooted in the fear of rejection and choosing to protect their own peace and comfort over sharing the good news. I recognized my inability to respond to God at the dining hall one day while waiting for food. I felt a desire to share the gospel with someone but could not bring myself to do it amidst the questions Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of racing through my mind: unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a Lord, can’t I simply make small talk with people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen them first? Can’t I first befriend them and eventually the King, the Lord of hosts! (Isaiah 6:5) bring them to church? Is it truly Your desire that, at

this moment, I share the truth about sin, separation

Isaiah, seeing God and understanding His from You, and what it means for those who don’t holiness, recognizes his own sin. In this vision, a put their trust in Jesus? seraphim, an angelic creature, touches Isaiah’s lips I ended up standing there, feeling nothing with a burning coal, uttering, but overwhelmed. In retrospect, I realize that my inability to share resulted from the potential pain Behold, this has touched your lips; your or embarrassment I would feel from rejection. I guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for. later felt the weight of shame for rejecting God’s (Isaiah 6:7) prompting to share the gospel, and I missed the

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opportunity to share the love of Christ with that person. I missed the chance to share that He came into the world so that we could be rescued from our sins and so that we could experience peace and joy both on Earth and in Heaven. God prompts us to share the gospel so that all humans might come to know about who He is. God is holy and just. He judges each person according to their sins, and the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). However, He is loving enough to forgive our sins by sacrificing His only son, Jesus, who overcame death, which is sin, so that we might have eternal life. By sacrificing Himself to reconcile us to Him, we see the depth of God’s desire for a personal relationship with us. Refusing to live out the gospel as Christ did Himself, we choose a path away from God, harming our relationship with Him. We grieve Him by doing this, and we rob ourselves of the greater joy and goodness that comes from being with Him. For believers, repentance involves recognizing the heavy cost of sin, paid for with Jesus’ sacrifice. In our reverence for God, we are

compelled to live according to His desires. God is justified in His anger toward sin–we have grieved Him and chosen to separate ourselves from Him by sinning–but the riches of His kindness lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Sin leads to eternal death, but God’s kindness, mercy, and grace through Christ have saved us from death. The Lord has adopted us into His family and made us heirs to an inheritance He has kept for us in heaven (Romans 8:15; Hebrews 9:15). We are free from death through Christ, but this does not warrant the exploitation of God’s grace. Instead, we must use this freedom to honor God by obeying His commandments, loving our neighbors, and sharing the gospel. Whether we are honored or humiliated in the process, we are blessed with the certainty that we have pleased God, sharing in His joy and experiencing the blessings of His kindness as we draw nearer to Him.

Blue Letter Bible. Strong's G3340 - metanoéō.

ARTIST STATEMENT: Vincent Van Gogh – Olive Trees (1889) Psalm 52:8 states we are olive trees in the house of God; when we draw closer to God through repentance, we bear good fruit. Van Gogh’s swirling Olive Trees represents what happens when we redirect our focus on the cross: flourishing and bearing good fruit.

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RElight how can i ever get back to that feeling? the liberation of love so free so abounding it unbounds every shackle that reduces my mind when all troubles in my brain fade, and all that remains is a single name—seared and singed into my soul releasing me from death’s hold

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lighting my heart ablaze with the flames of a kindling hope igniting the embers of a sinful past to be sent out in a haze of still and silence—a tranquility permeating my heart to reveal in me a paradisal peace beyond all sense one that settles every nerve undone and draws me towards that heavenly love—where a single voice from above calls out: “welcome home my son” ARTIST STATEMENT: Bertha Evelyn Jacques – Darnel (1909) Jacques’ print of a plant shoot is reminiscent of tongues of flame rising upwards and nerve dendrites, both of which are explored in Richard’s poem.

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REmember M

usic is alarmingly subtle. I often find myself humming a song I only caught a snippet of as I walk across campus or repeating lyrics from a song I can’t even name. I have moments where a song will, without warning, transport me back to a specific time and place, rekindling long-forgotten emotions and memories. This subtle nature is what gives music its power, and I believe music’s ability to harness emotions and inspire thought is why, throughout the Bible, God’s people continually sing His praises to remember Him and His character. Recently, I have found myself in desperate need of remembering God’s character. Although I have been in the faith for seven years and have experienced God’s presence, love, and miracles in indescribable ways, I have become distracted by the day-to-day. This has led me to lose sight of the spiritual to the point where I feel a sense of numbness when I think about God. In these moments, when I yearn to return to that spiritual place, I turn to these songs. Their melodies entrance my emotions and their words, my mind, reminding me of the God I’ve known for so long. This is my playlist to remember. I’ve recently become a big fan of rock music. I love how it’s loud and accurately matches loud feelings with loud expression. This song does that perfectly as it expresses one of my deepest frustrations — how often I forget about God. The lyrics are the words of someone who can’t understand how they haven’t been given up on yet, and they resonate deeply with me. This past semester, there was a particular instance where I prayed to the Father, asking for His help despite having neglected my relationship with Him. Mid-prayer, I realized how undeserving I was of His help and how audacious of me it was to even ask. Still, I knew that He loved me just as much as before and that He would listen to my prayer. At that moment, I broke down at His faithfulness as I saw that nothing I do could ever end His love for me.

i love You | JUDAH. Rock

My ‘I love you’ back feels so inadequate when you love me like that

My “I love you” to God felt so weak in that moment because my actions hadn’t aligned with those words. When I felt His love wash over me, just saying these words wasn’t enough. I was reminded of why I gave my life to Christ: His sacrifice on the cross and His continual love. In every moment that I exist, I try to live according to what He desires because He deserves my all. I love Him so much. The most valuable thing that I can give Him is my life. The routines of daily life lead me to lose sight of this ‘why.’ This song serves as an emotional outlet for my frustrations and, simultaneously, as a powerful reminder of God’s unwavering faithfulness.

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La Sunamita | Montesanto Spanish Worship

I like to refer to Spanish as my spiritual language. I grew up in a Hispanic church where the worship, prayers, and sermons played a pivotal role in establishing the foundations of my faith. Spanish worship songs hold a special place in my heart because of this. Whenever I hear this song, I’m instantly transported to the first step of the altar at my home church—my “secret place”—where I poured out my deepest desires, fears, and pains. This place is also where I first encountered Jesus. In this sacred space, there are no boundaries, and it is where I’ve experienced God’s presence most profoundly. The intensity of this song serves as a reminder of how worshiping God resonates with the deepest parts of my soul. The song addresses God with the profoundly personal term “mi Amado,” which means “the one I love.” It’s a desperate cry that reflects my deep yearning to be close to Jesus at all times.

I don’t care how much it costs me; your presence is worth so much more. I just want to be with you again and again.

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I’ve found myself giving up Jesus for simple pleasures that pale in comparison to Him, especially my comfort. These lyrics remind me of how insignificant that comfort truly is when I’m in the presence of God. When I remember how holy and perfect He is, my soul stirs and longs to be with Him. When I am distant from God, hearing this song is like watching a video of my younger self reveling in the joy of being a child. I yearn to return to times when I was able to make such bold statements. My heart hurts at the idea of drifting from that confident space. The beauty of God, however, is that I can return and experience His joy again, not just once, but for all eternity.

I don’t deserve this love yet still you show me it. All those times I’ve been asleep not knowing that you’ve always been near. The best way to describe a period where I am distant is to say I am asleep: alive but not conscious. I am spiritually alive through Christ. However, these are periods where I have become unresponsive to the voice of God. This spiritual sleepiness leads to complacency as I end up settling for less than God’s plans for me. I have no vision beyond what’s in front of me, and I miss out on the blessings and exciting adventures God has prepared for me. Then I find myself missing Him. Nothing I do seems to satisfy me the way He does. When I realize this, I come back to God in a conversation that glued to you | RIDERS sounds quite like the one happening in this song. My words are blunt Pop and authentic, asking Him to be near because I simply need my friend. At the same time, the interlude of the song feels like the freedom I get when I remember that I am united with God and always will be. I belong to God, and nothing can separate me from Him because I have been saved and covered by the blood of Jesus. In the moment of my salvation, I was sealed with the Holy Spirit and called His. He will never forsake me no matter how often I fall “asleep”.

vol 4 no 1 This past year, my deep focus on evangelism and ministry led to significant anxiety stemming from a fear of rejection from those who didn’t share my beliefs. Instead of telling others about Jesus out of genuine joy and love for them and for God, I was doing so out of my own obligation. I had forgotten the fact that I am a daughter of God before I am a servant. To effectively serve Him and others, I first need to be filled with His love. When I am, it overflows. The simplicity of this song beautifully encapsulates the source of my faith and reminds me of what life is about: knowing and being known by God. Living in the world can be distracting. I chase after things like my career, good grades, and friendships and place more importance on them, often leading me to neglect my time with God. I Just Love You | Upper Room Worship While these aspects of my life are important, they won’t produce Worship the ultimate fulfillment I desire. I look for good things in the wrong places when the innate desire of my heart is to be near Jesus because that is where I was created to be. When I begin to overcomplicate my walk with God and make it about more than loving Him, I remember this song. What I need most is to nurture my connection with God through intentional time spent reading the Bible and open communication with Him through prayer. When my eyes are on God alone, everything else falls into place. Remembering this centers my heart and refocuses my attention on God, my ultimate source of love and purpose.

Each of these songs wakes me up from my sleep and captivates my heart by reminding me of the God I know and have experienced. Everything becomes clear again, and I begin to see God’s ways as better when my mind meditates on His goodness. My heart and mind respond to music, and I will continue to use it to bring me back to Him.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

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REst & REjoice by green pastures

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Claude Monet

Camille Corot

ARTIST STATEMENT: Claude Monet – Banks of the Seine, Vétheuil (1880) Claude Monet – Woman Seated under the Willows (1880) Camille Corot – Dance under the Trees at the Edge of the Lake (1865-1870)

Emily’s poem, rooted in Psalm 23, immediately conjured up Impressionist landscapes. Monet and Corot create airy scenes of rest and pleasure in nature, but it is specifically through the willow’s bowed posture and laying out of life’s sorrows that we find rest and joy in God.

Claude Monet

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it is familiar yet unseen how does my soul know what it has never seen? such green– only reaped by a yoke so light, carried by the one who carried, a weight un familiar to the ones of my heart. weary and heavy laden. my hands, calloused, to the grip of the plow. for the green is not by my doing but His being turbulence stripping down what once was. the fullness of strength fluttering– incapable of facing the pull, of the screams of the wind, of the demands of the waves, its face –no longer shines toward the dream of ‘to–’ but foundered, it can only look to the heavens with a desperation. He calls the lull to still still waters green pastures rooted there, the willow weeps with Peace. head bowed rooted deeply by still waters in green pastures restored. with a joy of what is reaped by a yoke so light. carried– not by my own heart but by the descent of the dove called not to do but be Photo: Ulia Ahn

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REsplendent Rainbows confuseconfuse me. Rainbows me.

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To be clear, I am not a physicist. I lack any understanding of the mechanisms behind rainbows. All I know is that a large and colorful thing appears in the sky at random, and somehow I’m meant to be fine with that. The oddest part is that even if I’m racing towards it on a highway, it never gets any closer. It’s massive, conspicuous, and yet somehow always just out of reach. Growing up, my neighbors and family would set traps for leprechauns (small Irish fairies with penchants for gold and shoemaking). The idea was that if you could make a convincing enough rainbow and pot of gold, a leprechaun would hop into the trap and be caught. The purpose of apprehending this creature was unclear, but there are stories of leprechauns exchanging the locations of their rainbow-based gold in return for their freedom. Nowadays, this exercise of fairy-ransoming is (mostly) a joke. However, it reminded me of the old idea of a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. In fairy stories, the moral of this endeavor is obvious: one can never find the end of the rainbow, and so it works as an analogy for vain and fruitless quests for wealth. In real life, it seems strange. Rainbows have such a presence in the sky that it appears impossible that they could be imaginary. Sunsets, stars, storms–all of these can be quite beautiful and feel perfectly real. Less for the rainbows–sometimes it seems that if you tilt your head and squint, it disappears. What does Heaven look like? One would assume that, like the rainbow, it is resplendent and glorious. But what does it actually look like? No one knows. And yet, we continue to hold it as a central theme of Christian life, a home from

which we have all sojourned and hope to one day return. Much like the leprechaun trappers, our “pot of gold” remains in the realm of the mystic. I actually don’t think that’s a bad thing. Heaven is a destination, but it should not be a goal. The goal of a Christian life should be worship and service to God and others. We should strive for goodness for the sake of goodness rather than because we hope to earn some kind of reward. With this understanding, the journey and our choices along the way matter far more than the destination. The path to heaven is as colorful as the trail of a rainbow, but it is a path we walk because we

vol 4 no 1 have been told to walk it rather than because is presented in holy stories as many themes: we hope to reach a specific end. I offer a second He loves, He cares, He judges, He avenges, He interpretation of the leprechaun traps: we enjoy forgives, He saves, He celebrates, He mourns. chasing the end of a rainbow precisely because it Our interpretation of God can be formed by our is impossible, and thus the quest will reach the experiences. Someone who has grown up estranged end of our lifetimes. In much the same way, the from their parents may see God the King rather Christian life should not be seen as a stepping than God the Father. Someone who repented of stone on some larger journey but a present and a crime may see God the Merciful rather than active experience. We may not know many details God the Just. Are any of these interpretations about what we are journeying towards, and so we wrong? Not at all! Much like the colors of a trust that the path itself is worthy of the journey. rainbow, they describe a crucial component of a As Christians, we are called to embrace this greater whole. By themselves, however, they do futility and ambiguity because not grant a complete picture. our ultimate trust is not in our He is presented in This is even reflected in the own abilities but in God’s. doctrine of the Trinity. Just as holy stories as many What color is a rainbow? seven shades make one color, Blue? It has blue, and without themes: He loves, three persons make one God. blue, it would no longer be a Likewise, there are hundreds He cares, He judges, rainbow. On the other hand, of cultures, denominations, an all-blue rainbow would be a and communities that make up He avenges, He bizarre sight indeed. The same the body of Christ around the forgives, He saves, world. We are many parts, but thought can be applied to any of the colors in a rainbow. It’s we are all one body. Indeed, it’s He celebrates, He defined not as a single color the diversity and resplendence mourns. but rather as a group of colors of God and the Church that in unison. It’s an example makes it unique. If the Church of the whole being greater than the sum of the is a reflection of God on Earth, then it only makes parts–we’ll even use it as its own color! “That’s sense that it takes as many forms as its Object. a rainbow sticker, this is a rainbow marker, etc.” The rainbow fills our entire society–a sign So what color is a rainbow? I guess rainbow. of love, of faithfulness, of beauty, of nature, and Logically this kind of circular answer irritates me. everything in between. We still set leprechaun If I were to walk into class and say to my friend, traps, convinced that the end of the rainbow can “Wow, what a nice backpack with a hue made up be reached if we only have the right voice to tell us. of seven distinct hues in specific relationship to Or maybe, we set the traps not because we need each other,” they would ask me if I had hit my a voice to guide us to the end of a journey but head rolling out of bed that morning. Rainbow is to the start of one. Either way, we’re still chasing one of those things that defines itself. rainbows, always just out of reach. It’s certainly I view God in much the same way. He never stopped us before. Maybe that’s ok.

ARTIST STATEMENT: Theodore Roussel – A Window Seen Through a Window (1897) The Christian walk is full of ambiguity and uncertainty, but it is through this walk that we gain a glimpse of God’s resplendent character. Roussel’s etching captures this glimpse through his narrow framing of the window that sheds light on the vibrant spectrum of colors displayed within this central sliver.

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