The Selladore - 7th Edition, Issue I

The Selladore

7th Edition, Issue 1

The Selladore

My Face When I Heard The Question

Cover: Simplicity, Stella-Charles Fisher 3

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Dicere sicut furcifur.

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SELLADORE "I was astonished when someone first showed that by writing cellar door as Selladore one produces an enchanting proper name.” - C.S. Lewis “Your language too has soft and beautiful words, but they are not always appreciated. What could be more musical than your word cellar-door?” - W.D. Howells “The modern small home or apartment has ... deprived today's child of ... the pleasant summer afternoon activity of sliding down cellar doors. Just what happened to the slanted cellar door in this efficient age isn't clear; although cellars have remained, nothing has disappeared more quietly from modern life than these cellar doors.” - William Chapman White “This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that ‘cellar door’ is the most beautiful.” - Karen Pomeroy “Sell a cellar, door a cellar, sell a cellar cellar-door, door adore, adore a door, selling cellar, door a cellar, cellar cellar-door. There is damned little meaning and less sense in such a sentence, but there is, unless my tonal balance is askew, twice more rhythm and twice more lovely sound in it than in anything, equally idiotic, that Miss Gertrude ever confected.” - George Jean Nathan “I’m like you ...I remember everything.” - André Aciman “No. It’s not a name. It’s something else. Selladore, it’s not a princess’ name, it can’t be. Selladore… is a place… It is a place which is revered by all who know of it. A sacred place marked at its centre by… by trees.” - David Gleeson and Stephen Beresford "I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best, the subject I want to know better" - Frida Kahlo

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CONTENTS Introduction .................................................. 7

Daughter of the Stars ................................. 20 Storm Voloshina

Tracklist ......................................................... 8 Maybe............................................................ 10 Storm Voloshina

RGB ............................................................... 21 Queenie Yau

Expressions .................................................. 11 Queenie Yau

Against The Odds ....................................... 22 Anonymous

Earlier Tonight ............................................ 12 Michelle Liu

Bluebird ...................................................... 23 Theo James-Brennan

Say Cheese ................................................... 13 Rowan Parkinson

I Didn't Step On It ....................................... 24 Michelle Liu

Michelle's Abstraction ................................ 14 Michelle Liu

Those Faces ................................................. 25 Rena Zhao

Double Vision ............................................... 15 Elizabeth Chen-Baker

Familiar Faces ............................................. 28 Stella-Charles Fisher

Error Carry Forward ................................... 16 Rowan Parkinson

Sunflower House ........................................ 29 Stella-Charles Fisher

My Dearest, ................................................. 17 Storm Voloshina

Cat With 100 Eyes ....................................... 30 Stella-Charles Fisher

Turtle ........................................................... 18 Eva Fata

I Am Love...................................................... 31 Stella-Charles Fisher

Kayla’s Cat ................................................... 19 Michelle Liu

The Burning ................................................. 32 Stella-Charles Fisher

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INTRODUCTION Within these pages are entire worlds, constellations of meaning and purpose brought to bear upon us by the students of Elmwood. There is a startling array of techniques and styles fraught with humour, passion and intent.

Though each piece says something different, they are similar in that they all say something meaningful and forcefully. We started this journal for this express purpose, to give the students of this school an opportunity to regain control over language, to exert agency where there might exist passivity. These authors have tamed language to meet their emotional ends and, in so doing, give you, the reader, an understanding that such things are possible, no matter your age or intent. We ask simply that you read these words with an open mind, an open heart and with the understanding that, should you choose to express yourself as well, we will be waiting for you with the next issue.

Sincerely, Your Editors

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TRACKLIST Shadows . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yo La Tengo

..............

Idioteque . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Radiohead ..............

Tears In The Typing Pool . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Broadcast ..............

You Swan, Go On . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mount Eerie ..............

No Name #3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Elliott Smith ..............

Sidelines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Phoebe Bridgers ..............

Sorry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alex G ..............

Red Planet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alvvays ..............

Le Dernier Mot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ô Paon ..............

Lazuli . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Beach House ..............

I Can't Feel (My Body) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ally Evenson ..............

Bells Ring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mazzy Star ..............

The World Backwards . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Broadcast ..............

I Felt Your Shape . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Microphones ..............

Wasted . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tomberlin ..............

Capacity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Big Thief ..............

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TRACKLIST Fly . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Low . ..............

Soft Sounds From Another Planet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Japanese Breakfast

............ ....

Fireworks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .... .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mitski . ........

Rose Parade . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Elliott Smith .....

Hey Tiger (Early 2003) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dear Nora ..............

Billie Toppy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Men I Trust ... ..........

Mary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alex G ..............

Madison . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sloppy Jane ..............

Blueberry Barefoot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . No Age ..............

Concrete Over Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jockstrap ..............

Heading for the Door . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Duster ..............

Good Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Indigo De Souza ..............

Dog Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fog Lake ..............

Why Do You Love Me? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cocteau Twins ..............

Dark Light . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Florist ..............

They Quiet The Room . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Skullcrusher ..........

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"Maybe" Storm Voloshina Do you ever get the urge to run away, and never return? Not because your parents are merciless, or your friends never seem to notice you, or because no one cares when you trip and break your ankle. Do you ever want to run away because the colours that paint the sky are an abyss, inviting you to your freedom? Simply because the stars shine so brightly, and the trees whisper ancient secrets that you will never understand, but you want to try anyway. Or maybe because you want to know what it's like to wander, truly wander, without a destination or a purpose.

What is it like out there, where no one exists but you? Or maybe you would run away together, a friendly face to keep you company as you travel through uncharted maps of the Earth. Maybe you can imagine living with all your friends in a big yet cozy cave that you have made into a home, surrounded by a paradise, an oasis of community in a divided world.

This feeling never lasts long. Rationality catches up to your carefree thoughts and reminds you of the reality of this world. How would you survive? Where would you even find such a place? Arguably most importantly - what about your family, friends, your life? There are no real answers to that so you move on, this thought was never more than a naïve, almost childlike whimsy.

No matter how brief, the thought will always stay with you. It will find its way into your stories, paint itself in your art, weave a small golden thread into the tapestry of your life. Maybe you will never run away toward the sunset, but you might find your path painted with its hopeful palette.

Do you want to run away with me?

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"Expressions" Queenie Yau 11

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"Earlier Tonight" Michelle Liu Have I not cried enough Am I not writing enough poems Is my artwork that bad Will I always be your second place Your least favourite

I am forever the other woman

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"Say Cheese" Rowan Parkinson

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"Michelle’s Abstraction" Michelle Liu I feel as if my brain is rotting away when my ability to create is ineffectual When I wield my pen, paintbrush Or open a new google doc And nothing comes out Not a single clever or intelligent thing is thought of All ideas, thoughts, and visions, that were once there, no longer bloom Nothing is proficient When I'm approached with this affair The only thing I'm able to accomplish is crying

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"Double Vision" Elizabeth Chen-Baker 15

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"Error Carry Forward" Rowan Parkinson 16

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"My dearest," Storm Voloshina Do you remember when we first met?

You sounded so confident while I Shyly smiled at my screen and hoped for the day When I could hear your voice.

Do you remember the day I first saw you?

You awkwardly laughed as you hid your gaze And let me get tangled up in my clumsy And embarrassing words.

Do you remember when I finally came?

You ran faster than the lightheaded wind And I caught you in my arms as I felt my head Fill with a dazed mirth.

Do you remember that day on the lake?

You smiled at me and hugged me tight And refused to let go until the sun set On that gentle evening.

Do you remember that fateful day When the silver moon could rival the sun And the stars twinkled with jealousy At your shining laugh?

Do you remember when you turned around, And not a million galaxies could glow Like your eyes did as you looked down And saw the gleaming sapphire that lay Upon the golden band of a ring?

My love, do you remember me?

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"Turtle" Eva Fata

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"Kayla's Cat" Michelle Liu

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"Daughter of the Stars" Storm Voloshina She is a heavenly light that has come down to earth As bright as the sun yet as gentle as the moon She is above us all: a Goddess, a queen She has come to Earth, the daughter of the stars.

Her long charcoal locks fly in the cold wind Her eyes are two galaxies that take your breath away Her steps are as light as a warm summer breeze Her laugh is as sweet and as clear as a child's Her silver dress flutters as she glides towards you She reaches out and strokes your cheek Her skin is softer than the finest silk Her smile is the only thing that matters to you Her beauty is hypnotizing, her voice is ringing Like a thousand tiny bells. She is the only one that matters She is the purest being in this universe A daughter of the stars, the one worth more than the world

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"RGB" Queenie Yau 21

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"Against The Odds" Anonymous 22

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"Bluebird" Theo James-Brennan It’s just the two of us up here. On top of the world. The ocean below us roars and the sky above us rumbles. The moon casts her light over us and the cold wind is sharp against our faces. The world whirls around us yet, all I can think about is their warm hand in mine. I glace at her and embarrassingly let out a small gasp. She is so beautiful.

She turns towards me and pokes me with her pointer finger each jab punctuating a word, “You are so cute.”

I look down and cover my face with my hands, judging by how hot my cheeks feel they must be red as beets, she laughs and I peek through my fingers.

Her head is thrown back, her eyes are closed and the sound of her laughter is carried by the wind. I can’t help but smile even though it’s me she’s laughing at. She lowers her head back down and tucks their hair behind her ears.

She cuts their own hair, won’t let anyone help them with it no matter what. I would know, I’ve offered many times. It’s not a clean cut, particularly at the back. The pieces are jagged and I honestly don’t know if any are the same length. It suits them. .

Her cheeks are flushed a deep red from the wind, their lips are cracked and tears well in her dry eyes. She puts a hand to my red cheek and looks me in the eyes. In that moment it feels like we are the only two people there ever were and ever will be.

“So, Bluebird, what do you say? Ready to show them all?”

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"I Didn't Step On It" Michelle Liu

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"Those Faces" Rena Zhao

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From under oppressive currents we rise.

EDITORIALS

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"Familiar Faces" Stella-Charles Fisher

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"Sunflower House" Stella-Charles Fisher Dear sunflower house, I hope you are well, among your growth.

That you and your friends feel her warmth on your cheeks. That you never question if you are too tall - if you take up too much space. I hope you keep your head up high among the suburban lawns, golf courses, and perfectly pruned porches. That is not you, and I like it that way. I admire your abundance and ferocity. You are wild and welcoming. Like an old friend who puts the kettle on as you knock.

I hope to see you soon, for I have grown.

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"Cat With 100 Eyes" Stella-Charles Fisher

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"I Am Love" Stella-Charles Fisher I am love.

I am loved, I choose love In the way my mother brings me tea in the morning, knowing I will forget it and it will run cold.

Lying in the lap of my partner as they read to me, knowing I have fallen asleep.

Loving those who are cruel, knowing they are hurt.

Wanting to believe in something, knowing what I do not know.

Is being love enough?

Is the labyrinth of identity escapable, is it meant to be?

I am the sister who has the most beautiful blended family, and family gatherings that confuse my friends.

I am an artist who believes most things are art.

I am a storyteller.

Who could not read or write confidently until I was 10.

I have a rich inner life, sharing worlds I am creating on the spot, with anyone who will listen.

I have a brain that I do not fully understand, but that I know is wonderful.

I am someone who refuses to hide letters behind contractions.

I am a writer who detests adding periods, for I am not sure if I am done yet and I will not be using anymore because I will never be done In every space I inhabit I am all of me, preparing myself to face the world, draping myself in the fabric of my being being who I am doesn’t allow for singularity because who I am is love 31

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"The Burning" Stella-Charles Fisher

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WRITERS Theo James-Brennan Michelle Liu Rowan Parkinson Storm Voloshina ARTISTS Elizabeth Chen-Baker Stella-Charles Fisher Rowan Parkinson Queenie Yau EDITORS Stella-Charles Fisher Rowan Parkinson DESIGN COMMITTEE Yiru Cong Michelle Liu Rowan Parkinson Kaining Wu Queenie Yau Linda Yin Rena Zhao IMMORTAL FOUNDERS Megan Sweeney Safa Siddiqui PAST EDITORS Sophia Swettenham Madeleine Klebanoff O’Brien Linnea Dalvi Zaina Khan Abigail Butler Hannah Gerring Bianca Sugunasiri

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