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BYKARLACASSANDRA WONG

Growing up I was that "fat girl" in my elementary and highschool days. I experienced body shaming a lot. It felt like a knife stabbing through my chest continuously every time I heard those shameful words towards me. But as time went by I started to just normalize them bullying me even if it was wrong. I always tend to be jealous of someone’s appearance. “To be skinny and pretty is to die for” that was my belief for a long time. I also believed that the standard in beauty is those who are skinny, if you're fat you're ugly. That's why I seek validation from other people by making them laugh. I was that funny fat girl in highschool. I enjoyed making them laugh just so they would like and notice me at least.

I slowly ignored whatever they're throwing words at me. I realised that the more I pay attention to them the more they will tease me. Not until pandemic came, I chose to lose weight and I went on an unhealthy diet. I ate only one meal a day for 3 months and I lost about 20 kg. It was all great until I wasn't happy like before. It created an illusion in my brain that “I need to be skinny to be pretty” “I need to be skinny so people would like me”, But it really isn't like that. Now, I accept who I truly am and don't care what other people will say. I know myself better than anyone else, So why bother caring about what they say? I am beautiful just the way I am. I learned how to stand up for myself and never let anyone dull my sparkle ever again.