Nada Almosa, Excerpts from Sarah Hegazi’s Letter in Exile

Excerpts from Sarah Hegazi’s Letter in Exile

Nada Almosa

Ana Mithliya I miss my mama The officer covered my eyes The voice of a man The car A dirty smell A moaning A cloth in my mouth My hands were tied

Mama It did not stop My torture Was electrifying It can’t with words on a paper It can’t with words It can’t A black dot Buried in the soul Bleeding blood A dot Could not be treated Yes

Mama I lost the power to look at others I was afraid Family, friends, and the street,

Chasing me The fear stayed And in exile I miss mama

A desire for silence and Problems remembering I won’t forget The moaning people Chasing me The dirty smell My torture was electricity It can’t with words On paper Yes

[Author’s note: This poem is composed of fragmented segments of Sarah Hegazi’s essay, “A Year since the ‘Rainbow’ Incident: A System Detains, Islamists Applaud,” published in Arabic on the online platform, Mada Egypt (رصم ىدم). The essay is written in the wake of Hegazi waving a rainbow flag at a Mashrou Leila concert in Egypt in 2017. This act led to her arrest and torture. Once released, she sought asylum in Canada, but isolation from her family and community and the trauma of her experience in prison led to her suicide. Published in 2018, the essay recounts Hegaz’s experiences and what ensued. My poem arises from a desire to highlight Hegazi’s voice, her experience, and the incredible loss that her passing represents for the Arab LGBTQIA+ community.]