The Little Manual for a State of Well Being - Seeking Happiness

TLM-1st Edition/Volume 5

The Little Manual for a State of Well-Being Seeking Happiness!

Happiness (ˈhæpinɪs) noun. the quality or state of being happy 1

Such a strong word and such a strong meaning! We will start this Little Manual with one of the greatest (if not THE greatest) philosophers of our planet, Aristotle2, and with the Greek word “eudaimonia”3 which, according to his philosophy, was used as the term for the highest human good...to consider and also experience what it really is and how it can be achieved,4 happiness, which ultimately meant acquiring the ultimate perfection of the self. However, arriving there requires much more than concentrating on 1 2 3

Collins English Dictionary. Copyright © HarperCollins Publishers

Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) a great philosopher and polymath during the Classical period in Ancient Greece, taught by Plato.

Eudaimonia (ˌjudɪˈmoʊniə) noun. Happiness or well-being: specific., in Aristotle’s philosophy… the main universal goal, distinct from pleasure derived from a life of activity by reason. Collins English Dictionary. Copyright © HarperCollins Publishers 4

Ref. Wikipedia

the word by its meaning, or the self-explanatory description of it--according to your own perspectives, of course.

In the present time, the word happiness has become an addiction for a few, a goal for many, and a lifetime battle for those who have much more trouble understanding their own purpose in life. Aristotle taught “that each man's life has a purpose and that the

function of one's life is to attain that purpose. He explains that the purpose of life is earthly happiness or flourishing that can be achieved via reason and the acquisition of virtue.”5 The acquisition of these two qualities, reason and virtue, is what we will be concentrating on in this Little Manual.

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”

Marcus Aurelius

Let’s explore the reasoning part first. In past volumes of The Little Manual, we have explored that very thing, the act of reasoning, by looking at how our mind works and all the important aspects of the self. Hopefully, after reading about this, you have been able to identify and cultivate a healthier inner strength. Also, it is important to recognize the qualities we hope to possess, but still need to develop within ourselves.

Focusing on the real aspects of the inner self, and not only a specific point of your life, will help you more carefully reason about the qualities and things you already have and the ones you don’t. In the case of worrying about being “Happy,” most of us worry so much about being “happy” or searching for “happiness” that we get frustrated by the mere idea of it. Without understanding that it is only an urgent “desire” which constitutes an extensive part of the inner self, it will be very hard to satisfy. A desire is a strong wish to do or have something6, and the stronger or more urgent the desire, the more energy and work will be required to fulfill that desire. Remember that when you put excessive effort into a particular thing, the effort itself can lead to destructive, harmful, and undesired outcomes.

Such destruction, the result of excessive desires, can end up generating a troubled mind and subsequent weakening of your inner strength (recommend reading TLM vol.3). When someone feels unwanted or not accepted--which, if you rationalize calmly, you realize it is only an inner desire of acceptance by others--you are compromising your inner strength because you are demanding something from others. Then you become so unhappy trying to find the happy part of yourself, which in the end will be much more difficult to achieve-especially this way. We will see an example of this later.

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Younkins, Edward W. (2003) “Capitalism and Commerce Aristotle Human Flourishing and the Limited State” http://www.quebecoislibre.org/ 6

Collins English Dictionary. Copyright © HarperCollins Publishers

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Aristotle’s second view is the virtue qualities, to which we all must aspire and, according to his ethic’s Book One7, each of us has a purpose or a goal to attain some “good” in our lives. Excellence, for him, is the ultimate goal, and if we as humans perform each of our purposes accordingly, then that excellence can be achieved, thus moving us closer to our ultimate purpose--happiness. If we put it this way, it seems very easy to understand. Arriving at this part, however, is what most of us miss, due mostly to our Desire of a purpose: encountering everything or seeing everything only according to our own perspectives and not as a whole. Aristotle argues that most of us have the desire for the sake of itself and never for the sake of anything else. For example, consider the responses you might receive from a recently married couple when asked the following questions: Why do you get married? “Because we want to have a family.” Why do you want to have a family? “Because we want to have our own kids.” Why do you want to have your own kids? “Because they will make us happy.” Why do you want to be happy? When you get to this final question, you begin to realize that it is not as simple as offering a final answer like “Just to be happy.” This is actually the common formula many psychologists use today: Pleasure + Engagement + Meaning = Happiness. But, does it all end there?

“Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly often attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.”

Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin

Let’s see an example. I once had a friend who was very troubled. She was always struggling to settle down, was often late paying her bills, late for work, etc. All her life seemed to be a mess. As a friend, I would listen to her litany of complaints and negative thoughts, saying nothing. After a few years--believe me it took a few years to be able to broach this subject with her--I spoke frankly to her. “I think it is time for me to talk about your situation, while you listen. I think it is time for me to come into your life and see if I can help you! Would you let me in?” She hesitated at first, then she said it was ok.

The first thing I told her was that she was missing so much of her life, looking for something without even knowing what it was she was looking for. The first element you are missing, I said, is the finding of yourself! The second is finding your purpose in life! She asked, “How do I find those things?” I replied, “Just live without looking for a specific reason, and don’t let your mind identify your body with a specific form, shape or space. Go with the flow, as there is just a fine line between the mind and the material stuff around you. If you live in awareness, which is the present moment, the past is no longer here, and thus cannot pull you back. The future is non-existent. Living in the present will become perpetual and eternal and this will guide you through the day. If you

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The Nicomachean Ethics is the name normally given to Aristotle’s best-known work on ethics. Ref. Wikipedia

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are alive the next day, continue with what you have chosen to do! Each day is unique in its many ways, with a different meaning, which is never the same!”

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”

Mother Teresa

It is not only for a human being to uphold virtues, but they must also enact those virtues. And it is not only important for a human being to be rational, but they should also guide their free will to rationalize in the best possible way. A person who is virtuous in a specific way of living is not guaranteed a life without disgrace, and someone who is rational is not either.

So if we attribute happiness to everything we enjoy and like to perform in our lives, we must be happy, right? It seems apparent that the more we try to find a precise description of happiness, the more complicated it becomes. For me, as an individual, the act of seeking happiness comes not from any specific definition, but from an internal feeling. A feeling of fulfillment, like attaining a certain goal or completing a physical challenge (like a walk in the park) can bring happiness to your life. Once you experience that kind of fulfillment, you are likely to be motivated to replicate it, by repeating the same actions or behaviors, or looking for other things that capture the same feeling. But, do you really experience the same exact feeling? In my experience, you do not!

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”

Albert Camus

There are thousands of interpretations about happiness (e.g., money brings happiness, owning a house brings happiness, graduating from college brings happiness) that people refer to. While doing the research and reading on this subject, I encountered a wide range of complexity with the ideals and moral views and opinions surrounding the concept of happiness--making it very difficult to begin writing this Little Manual. However, I tried to concentrate on how the human mind perceives it (happiness), taking the most direct approach to it. In other words, I did my own Objective and Subjective work on the subject, a technique I had introduced as an evaluative strategy in previous TLM volumes. Thus, I conclude: Happiness cannot be sought. Happiness must be lived!

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.”

Jim Rohn

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If we take a look at the original draft of the United States Declaration of Independence, I think we should be able to interpret much better what Mr. Thomas Jefferson8 tried to say with his most famous paragraph, when he wrote the following: “We hold these truths to be sacred & undeniable; that all men are created equal & independent, that from that equal creation they derive rights inherent & inalienable, among which are the preservation of life, & liberty, & the pursuit of happiness."9 In my opinion, the draft is much more consistent with the actual moments of history at that time, with the original idea of freedom, equal regard for all human lives, and the pursuit of happiness--which at that time meant one’s chosen livelihood/occupation (pursuit) and access to prosperity (happiness) for the collective good of the recently-established Colonies and not the definition of happiness that relates to an individual, emotional aspiration.

With this analysis, we can see that the mere idea of happiness, put as a thing, or as a specific goal still does not imply the best example, simply because happiness cannot be forever possessed!

The key to seeking happiness, I would conclude, is to not approach it as a fixed goal! The possession or accumulation of material things we now know doesn't make you happy. If we attribute happiness to the things or goals we have accomplished, yes, these might make you happy momentarily, but that present moment should be enough if considered consciously. Thus, don’t seek to possess “happiness,” just live it, eat it, enjoy it when it arrives at your door. When your mind is set on the present moment and is engaged in the actual happenings around you, then your mind is in a condition of awareness! Live it out without hesitation and try not to apply faux meanings to your life. I personally see happiness as a Bucket List, a list of things that, once achieved, will be preserved with a happy memory. I think at the moment that I cross each item off my Bucket List that it is finished--with a Been There/Done That attitude. After that, I know I must carry on, leaving that accomplished item to the past!

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Thomas Jefferson (April 13, 1743 - July 4th, 1826) was an American statesman, diplomat, lawyer, architect, philosopher, and Founding Father who served as the third president of the United States from 1801 - 1809.

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From the original draft of the United States Declaration of Independence, written June 1776 by Thomas Jefferson.

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All pics by Efra Gonz.

EXERCISE - Happiness * Bucket List * Find a place to work on this exercise, somewhere you feel comfortable. Write down your own Bucket List of things that you want to do for whatever reasons might be important to you. Do, check, be happy.

PEACE! LOVE! HAPPINESS! Remember to continue reading issues of my Little Manual, as we will be bringing in new topics which connect to the previous ones. This is a process of support for you, for a State of Well-Being! Don’t forget to share this with family and friends!

Article written by Efra Gonz Edited by Tammy Melody Gomez For any questions or support you might have, contact Efra Gonz @ nochenoir@h mail.com

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