Our Father, Prof. Abdulmanan Barr - The guide to a positive life

-Dr. Abeer AbdulManan Barr

I once wrote a story in third grade about a toy mouse escaping a toy store. When I graduated from high school, I started my undergraduate education as a computer science student At that time, I followed what was known to be the attractive linear path that would make all parents proud I was a science major with good grades After one semester, baba sat me down and told me, remember your writing when you were about eight? It was amazing, I know you will excel and be happier in the English department. I had the best undergraduate experience, Baba taught me to search for my happiness and in doing that my path did not have to be linear I trusted him with all my decisions, he knew me more than I knew myself He taught me to believe in myself, he taught me to enjoy life, he taught me not to be afraid of doing something new, not to be afraid of challenges. All I had to do was call and he would pick up the phone and tell me to stop crying so he could understand what I was saying, he would follow that with so many encouraging and happy words that would calm my fear. He would always end the call with “laugh, be my Abooraty that I know and laugh. Each one of us has happy stories, my mama, us children, grandkids, his bonus son and daughters in law So many stories about his understanding, about encouragement, about appreciation, about positivity and happiness, all about his love and pride for his family His days were energetic. Every day after the sun came up, he would come home from the Fajr prayer after reading Quran at the mosque.

After doing breathing, walking and stretching exercises, he would pick the best flowers from our garden, take a picture or a video, and with it send each one of us an individual message made up of beautiful Duaa and happy words to brighten our day He would then pick some Jasmin flowers and take it inside the house to give mama Then make himself and mama breakfast and then have a funny happy phone conversation with Faten, who was an early riser like him Afterwards, he would sit down and send his voice note messages to his “positive friends” about the topic of the day, with a picture from the garden flowers. He loved growth and wanted to make sure he spread positivity He loved his peaceful family time with sweets and tea at Maghreb time, he never forgot to treat himself.

He loved pizza, celery with peanut butter, nuts and coconut covered donuts (mostly because mama loved it too) He loved to cook meals and make us his famous sandwiches

I remember his Chinese stir-fry, every time he added a new vegetable. He loved to introduce us to strange and new experiences. New foods, new cities, new rides at the entertainment parks He wanted us to see and experience the world

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Baba was very passionate about education In social media you can read many stories from his students about his support of their academic journey. In our home, that was no exception. My brother Ahmed changed his career aspirations so many times, every time, my baba was patient and genuinely supportive “I want to be a soccer player and have no use of school” he once said, and baba sent a letter to school and took him to the Itihad soccer club for that week “I want to be an imam at the mosque”, baba took him to the mosque and somehow the imam there worked with baba and allowed him to do Azan (it was only heard inside the mosque and not prayer time) There was no limit to his resources or his patience for all of us Each time my brother was fortunate with baba’s guidance and baba’s belief in him He learnt to learn to trust himself by making safe mistakes under my baba’s guidance until he found his passion. Ahmed is now a successful engineer whom graduated from a Japanese university We each have similar success stories because of him

Baba had ambitious beliefs at how far we will go, “you will become the president of a university, you will become a minister, you will head a hospital, you will be the president of Aramco, you will be the president of the Itihad club”. (He was a passionate Itihadi). He was our guiding light, our solid support, he was the Diamond of our home After Allah, he was the reason behind our growth, our happiness and satisfaction in life He was persistent and understanding, he was tough and kind, he pushed us and calmed us, he listened and he directed, he laughed and was firm, he brought us opportunities and he watched us walk our own path He was so proud of us, introduced us to all his friends, he would smile and hug us in front of anyone and say “this is my daughter, this is my son she is a master yogi, she is a professor, he is a dean, he is an engineer….”.

He was so proud of our mama, he would boast and say “she has clinical experience, very few have the kind of experience she has” He supported her doctoral academic journey and was with her every step of the way He would call us to let us know that she was studying and we shouldn’t call or complain about anything “your mama needs to focus”. He would bring her meals and snacks, read, edit her papers and discuss her point of views and thoughts He would recommend theories and introduce her to experts Mama always said “Your father is brilliant in his field ”

We found mama’s degree next to Baba that day, like all his life, it was Baba’s last act of support and encouragement of her growth. He was working on sending mama’s credentials to ensure they work together in a counseling office

So many stories and examples of his greatness He was the diamond of our home; he shined his radiant positivity in all of us. After Allah, we are good people because of him. We are blessed that Allah chose him for us.

AlhamduliAllah Allah yirhamak ya almas albayt