Weddings 07-2014

July 2014

A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT TO

Keep It Simple Simplify & save on your wedding

Seating Solutions

The ins and outs of making seating arrangements

Combining Your Cash

How newlyweds can successfully blend finances

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July 3, 2014 • theintelligencer.com

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How to find the right wedding vendors

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Seating solutions – How to manage seating arrangements

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Simplify and save on your wedding

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Healthy options for tan skin

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Wedding day transportation options

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Wedding showers continue to break from tradition

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How to throw a successful outdoor wedding

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Kids or no kids? Enjoy a wedding that works for you-

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Dress shopping for plus-sized brides-to-be How to clean your jewelry

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The story behind Jordan almonds

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Classic songs to include on your wedding reception playlist

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How to handle guests who don’t RSVP

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How newlyweds can successfully blend finances

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Bachelor party planning pointers Which dinner service is right for your wedding?

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theintelligencer.com • July 3, 2014

How to find the right wedding vendors

Engaged couples can ask trusted friends and family members to recommend wedding vendors.

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eddings are a careful balance of many elements that culminate on one special day. Making all of the components of a wedding come together seemlessly requires a well organized bride and groom and the cooperation of professional wedding vendors who understand their unique roles.

Vendors, including florists, transportation companies, musicians, and dressmakers are essential to a successful wedding.

Competent wedding vendors will remove much of the worry and work from a couple’s shoulders.

But not every couple ends up with topnotch wedding vendors. Research, planning and verifying references are some ways to ensure your vendors make your wedding day that much more enjoyable.

Seek recommendations from trusted friends and family members. Talk to friends and family members whose insight you value about which wedding vendors they used. If you attend a wedding or another party and find the flowers or the music particularly well done, ask for the name of the florist or band. Word-of-mouth advertisement is a great way to find quality wedding vendors who will help make your dream wedding a reality.

Consult with a wedding planner. If budget allows, work with a wedding planner. He or she will have an extensive list of wedding vendors you can contact. A wedding planner wants the job to get done right and efficiently, and many wedding planners have already vetted and verified certain vendors as quality workers.

Always ask for references and don’t ignore them. Busy wedding vendors should provide you with a list of names of satisfied customers. Talk with couples who used the vendors’ services in the past and ask the questions that are most important to your decision-making process. Unbiased feedback also may be available through online review sites, but direct contact with references may make you feel more comfortable. If a vendor fails to provide references, this should raise suspicions about the person’s reliability.

Deposits should be a fraction of the total price. Avoid wedding vendors who insist on hefty deposits. A deposit is a good-faith agreement to hold the date of the wedding, and it should be a small percentage of the overall cost of the services.

Do not pay balances too far in advance. Many wedding vendors require the balance be paid on the day of the wedding or shortly before. Good vendors realize couples will not want to pay the tally until they have received the products or services they signed up for. A photographer may ask for the final payment when albums are delivered. The exception may be a caterer or reception site that needs the funds to order food and beverages a few weeks in advance.

Paying off a vendor too early means you run the risk of that vendor having your money and then not coming through on the wedding day. It’s difficult to track down a person for a refund, plus you’re left with finding a replacement at the last minute.

Contracts are your friends. Every agreement should be in writing. You have a better chance of fighting for a refund or restitution in court when you have a contract in writing.

Consider wedding insurance. Even the best-laid plans can go awry on a wedding day. Anything from freak weather events to illness to vendor absences can wreak havoc. The Better Business Bureau advises purchasing wedding insurance to protect yourself when weddings are especially costly. Such insurance may cover vendors who fail to show up, cancellations, inclement weather, military deployment, medical emergencies, and travel delays. With wedding insurance, you won’t lose money if plans change. A basic insurance policy that covers loss of photos, videos, attire, presents, rings, and deposits usually costs between $155 and $550, depending on the amount of coverage you want.

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Seating solutions

How to manage seating arrangements

conflicts might escalate. Couples don’t want their weddings to be remembered for all the wrong reasons, so keep feuding factions apart when assigning seats.

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fter all of the invitations have been sent and RSVPs returned, engaged couples who are including a sit-down dinner as part of their wedding receptions must figure out the seating arrangements for their guests. Such a task can be both fun and stressful.

The fun of making seating arrangements stems from reuniting friends and family members who couples feel will enjoy one another’s company and make the reception that much more fun. But feuding family members can make the task of assigning seats somewhat stressful. Couples need not be relationship experts to plan seating arrangements that ensure guests have a good time. The following tips can help couples enjoy the process of mapping out their wedding reception seating assignments as much as possible.

Make assignments by hand. While there is software designed specifically to help couples map out seating assignments, many couples find it easier to do the seating assignments by hand, which allows couples more freedom to rearrange tables. In addition, making the seating arrangements by hand ensures that couples spread out guests who might not get along.

Don’t seat guests in the hopes of quashing old conflicts. While the jovial spirit of a wedding ceremony and reception might seem like the perfect atmosphere for feuding friends or family members to bury the hatchet with regard to old conflicts, this leaves open the potentially ugly possibility that such

Keep special needs guests in mind.

Some guests at the wedding may have special needs, and this must be kept in mind when planning seating assignments. Guests with medical conditions may benefit from sitting close to the restroom, while those with mobility issues might be best served sitting in a spot where waitstaff can more easily recognize when they need something.

Consider sitting older guests, whose vision might not be as strong as it once was, as close to the happy couple as possible so these guests can see everything and won’t feel left out.

Make sure the seating assignment table is easily accessible. The table on which seating assignment cards will be placed should be accessible upon entering the reception hall. A table that’s far off in the corner may confuse some guests, who might think the seating is a free-for-all and simply sit in the first empty seats they see.

Consider flow between tables when making assignments. While you might have aced the seating assignments at each table, don’t overlook the importance of mapping out tables as well. No couple wants their guests to feel isolated from friends or family members at other tables, so do your best to ensure there’s a good flow between the tables.

Plan for tables of family members to be placed next to one another, and do the same with groups of friends. This encourages guests to mingle and can make the night much more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Planning seating assignments for a wedding reception is no small task. But couples can employ several strategies to make the process go as smoothly as possible.

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July 3, 2014 • theintelligencer.com

Wedding Cakes & Specialty Desserts Wedding cake consults by appointment

Simplify and save on your wedding

as aisle markers during the ceremony into small centerpieces on the escort card table or place them alongside the guestbook. This saves you the trouble of choosing various floral arrangements to display throughout the reception venue and also saves you money.

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lanning a wedding is complicated.

Once couples choose a date and location for their ceremony, they can then can get down to the nuts and bolts of the big day.

When planning a wedding, many couples are governed by a budget.

Budgets often get stretched, but even those brides- and grooms-to-be who spend more than they had initially hoped often find themselves not going too far over budget. One of the best ways for couples to stay within spitting distance of their budget or even come in under budget is to take steps to simplify the ceremony and reception. Simplifying a few aspects of the wedding can save couples money without forcing them to make sacrifices that affect the look or feel of occasion.

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Turn floral arrangements into multipurpose accessories. Bridesmaids typically carry beautiful floral bouquets during the wedding ceremony. But such bouquets are quickly put down and forgotten once a couple has officially tied the knot. Couples can save a few dollars by repurposing floral bouquets and other floral arrangements used during the ceremony. Once the ceremony has ended, repurpose floral bouquets as centerpieces for the reception tables and turn flowers used

Scale back on the alcohol offerings.

Some couples opt for a full-service, topshelf bar at their wedding. While that’s a nice gesture, it’s also an expensive one.

Couples can save a substantial amount of money by simplifying the alcoholic offerings at their reception. Instead of a full top-shelf bar, offer guests one or two choices of popular liquors such as whiskey, rum and vodka and steer clear of especially expensive brands.

The majority of guests likely won’t even notice, but couples will notice how much money they save.

Choose a classic cake. Elaborate cakes may be de rigueur, but the cost of an especially elaborate wedding cake can make a cost-conscious couple’s collective jaw drop. Instead of a specially designed, labor-intensive cake, choose a classic cake that won’t break the bank. Classic cakes can add an elegant touch to a wedding without extending a couple’s budget.

Trim the guest list. Trimming the guest list is arguably the most effective way to simplify a wedding while simultaneously saving some money. Once you have compiled a list of potential invitees, peruse that list to determine if there are any people who can be trimmed from the list. This is easier for couples paying for their own wedding, as they won’t feel pressured to invite any friends or colleagues of their parents whom they don’t know personally. But even couples splitting the cost of their weddings with their parents should speak with their parents about trimming the guest list to make the affair a little less expensive.

Traditional weddings are anything but simple. But there are ways for couples to make planning their wedding less complicated while saving some money

at the same time.

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Healthy options for tan skin

Couples looking to give their skin a beautiful glow on their wedding days should know that spray tanning is a safer option than tanning beds or exposing the skin to too much sun.

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rides- and grooms-to-be aspire to look their absolute best on their wedding day, and that could mean employing an entire arsenal of beauty, grooming and wardrobe personnel for some extra help. Popular goals prior to

the wedding include shedding a few pounds or improving muscle tone. Teeth whitening sessions and dance lessons are also popular. Many couples also want to have a sun-kissed look on their big day, and that may drive them to spend hours out in the sun or inside tanning salons.

Repeated, unprotected exposure to ultraviolet rays, whether from the sun or tanning beds, can cause skin damage, eye damage, immune system suppression, and skin cancer, according to a variety of health sources. The Skin Cancer Foundation says each year there are more new cases of skin cancer in the United States than there are incidences of cancers of the breast, prostate, lung, and colon combined. About 90 percent of nonmelanoma skin cancers are associated with exposure to ultraviolet radiation.

While a tan can make a person appear healthy, over time UV exposure can accelerate the effects of aging, causing noticeable changes to the skin.

Overexposure to UV rays can cause skin to sag as the skin loses its ability to go back into place after stretching. Sun exposure can cause fine and coarse

wrinkles, freckles, mottled pigmentation, dilation of small blood vessels under the skin, and cancerous tumors.

Exposure to UV radiation of any kind puts a person at risk for skin ailments.

Cumulative UV exposure may even lead to melanoma — the most serious form of skin cancer that is responsible for 75 percent of all skin cancer deaths — later in life.

Rather than beginning their marriage on an unhealthy note, couples can choose to skip tanning as part of their wedding day preparation. But couples who want to look tan can still rely on artificial means to achieve a sun-kissed glow.

Bronzers: Bronzing powders are cosmetics that are brushed on the skin and typically applied to the areas of the body that would be touched by the sun, such as the bridge of the nose, apples of the cheeks, collarbone, and shoulders.

Bronzers are commonly used to contour the skin to de-emphasize certain features or play up others. A bronzer will wash off with soap and water or a cosmetic removal cleanser.

Sunless tanner: Sunless tanners come in sprays, lotions and even moisturizers.

Sunless tanners have been around in some form since the 1960s, and they work by employing DHA, a colorless sugar carbohydrate that interacts with dead skin cells of the epidermis. The sugar causes a chemical reaction that results in a color change. Results may take a few applications and can last up to a week.

Spray tanning: Many spas and salons offer spray-tanning services. A safe dye is sprayed on to the skin to temporarily change its color. Spray tans should be applied by a qualified and experienced person to avoid streaking or a hue that seems unnatural. Once set, the pigment should not easily wipe off the skin, but it’s best to use caution around light-colored fabrics, especially when dressing in a wedding gown.

Brides and grooms have many cosmetic choices when it comes to giving their skin a healthy glow for their weddings. Such options not only provide desired results, but also reduce a happy couple’s risk of developing potentially harmful conditions that result from overexposure to UV rays.

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July 3, 2014 • theintelligencer.com

Wedding day transportation options the reception hall at designated times to be taken to the party or back to the hotel.

Shuttle information should be included in welcome packages provided for guests.

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ouples about to tie the knot must make a host of decisions when planning their weddings. When and where to get married may be the most significant decisions a couple has to make, but such selections are only the tip of the iceberg for engaged couples.

One important decision couples must make is how to get their guests to and from the reception. Since alcoholic beverages are served at many wedding receptions, it’s a good idea for couples to have transportation available for their guests to ensure everyone safely gets from the reception hall to the hotel after the party has ended. The following are a

handful of options couples can consider when arranging transportation for their wedding guests.

Private shuttle: Private shuttle companies are a popular option, especially among couples whose guest lists are extensive.

Private shuttle companies typically have a vast fleet of vehicles of various sizes, from 10-passenger vans to small buses to larger buses capable of seating several dozen passengers. Private shuttle companies may run several shuttles to and from the reception and the hotel over the course of the night, and all guests need to do is gather in the lobby of the hotel or

School bus: Couples might be able to find a local school bus company to transport their guests to and from the hotel and the reception. This option may be best suited for couples whose reception hall is only a short distance away from the hotel.

That’s because some bus companies may rent couples a school bus that may not be the most comfortable method of travel.

Couples who rent a school bus may want to ask the company if they can decorate the bus prior to their wedding day to give it a more festive feel.

Hotel shuttle: Many hotels provide airport shuttle service to and from the airport for their guests, and couples might be able to work out a deal with their wedding hotel manager to use such shuttles to get their guests to and from their receptions. Hotels do not often use their airport shuttle services at night, so it’s entirely possible the hotel manager might be amenable to such an arrangement. Renting the hotel shuttle service won’t be free, but couples might

be able to negotiate a rate based on the number of guests registered to stay under their wedding party. The hotel may offer a discount for its shuttle service based on the number of wedding guests staying at the hotel, and couples should broach that subject during the negotiation process. If the hotel does not provide shuttle service, its manager or concierge might be able to recommend local shuttle companies to couples.

Taxis: Some couples simply can’t afford to foot the bill for their guests’ transportation. That’s perfectly acceptable, but if no transportation will be provided, couples should arrange to have taxi cabs available outside the reception hall. The reception hall manager can help with such arrangements. When opting for taxis, arrange for some to get there as much as an hour before the reception is scheduled to end so guests who want to leave early don’t have to call or hail cabs on their own.

Arranging transportation for guests is a nice gesture for couples who want to ensure their family and friends have

a fun and safe time at their wedding receptions.

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theintelligencer.com • July 3, 2014

Wedding showers continue to break from tradition

Gifts are still important, but new trends in wedding showers have shifted the focus of these events.

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ain showers on a wedding day may bring good luck, but they are seldom coveted. However, a different type of shower altogether is often highly anticipated and can help couples feel like they’re one in a million.

Wedding showers are gift-giving parties held for couples about to get married.

The custom began in the nineteenth century and continues to present day, primarily in North America and Australia.

Guests traditionally “shower” the brideto-be with all the necessities (and some fun extras) that she will need after she ties the knot. These gifts will help the soon-to-be-married couple establish a home together.

Bridal showers are steeped in tradition, but today’s bridal showers continue to veer off the beaten path. Nowadays, bridal showers feature fun and games much like a party having nothing to do with a wedding. TheKnot.com, a Web site that aims to help couples plan their weddings and all the events leading up to the big day, identifies these key trends in modern bridal showers.

• Couples’ showers: Modern couples who like to be all-inclusive are now planning bridal showers that cater to mixed audiences. Dubbed a “couple shower,” these parties include female and male friends and relatives. Gifts are still the main focus of the event, but they’re varied and include guy-friendly items within the mix of household goods.

• Power showers: Many are familiar with the terms “man cave” and “bromance,” but few may know that there are now wedding showers geared entirely around the groom. Known as “power showers,”

these events focus on the groom-to-be, who is showered with a bevy of gadgets and power tools that are certain to stock his future garage. The parties are decidedly more testosterone-friendly and can include golf outings, poker nights or action movie flicks as possible themes.

• Destination/activity showers: Rather than having guests hang around a restaurant watching gift after gift get unwrapped, some bridal parties opt to throw an activity shower. These showers are focused around a particular activity.

For example, ladies may be treated to a day at the spa. Other ideas include horseback riding at a stable or a day at the ballpark. Because hosting an activity shower for dozens of people may get expensive, these types of showers may be reserved for only your closest friends and family members.

• Bride-involved showers: The idea of walking into a room and being surprised by friends and family members is appealing to some brides-to-be but not everyone. Some brides prefer not to be surprised by a shower and actually would like to have a role in the planning of the party. However, this is delicate ground on which to tread, considering there may be differences over where the party is held and even the overall experience of the party. These type of showers should be discussed before any plans are made, and tasks should delegated in accordance with those plans.

It is customary for a bridal shower to take place before a wedding. But new trends have emerged that are shaking up the way showers are planned and held.

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July 3, 2014 • theintelligencer.com

How to throw a successful outdoor wedding

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utdoor weddings are romantic when done right, and a growing number of couples are exchanging vows amid an expansive garden or with the splendor of the pounding surf providing a picturesque backdrop. If Mother Nature cooperates, outdoor weddings can go smoothly. But even if the weather does not cooperate,

there still are ways couples can enjoy a memorable ceremony.

Preparation and planning help keep outdoor weddings moving along.

Weather can be unpredictable and unforgiving, so it is always best to account for various scenarios. The following are some tips to consider.

• Be mindful of hot weather. Many outdoor weddings occur when temperatures are at their warmest. As anyone who has had to sit outdoors in the blazing sun for an extended period of time can attest, it can grow quite uncomfortable, especially when everyone is dressed to the nines. Advise guests in advance that the wedding will be taking place outdoors and to dress accordingly.

Arrange to have shaded areas for guests who may struggle with the heat. Keep chilled bottled water nearby so guests can stay cool and refreshed. Ask the officiant to keep the ceremony brief so that guests are not melting away in their seats.

• Keep wind in mind. A stiff breeze can upset tents and wreak havoc on

hairstyles. Be sure everything outdoors is properly secured and weighted down.

Avoid light fabrics on a wedding gown that will get swept away by wind. A short, blusher veil may be more appropriate than a sweeping train. Couples should advise their hairstylists that they will be getting married outdoors, and looks should be well secured by bobby pins and gel to keep hair in place. Stick to real dishes for food service, as plastic or lightweight materials may get blown away.

• Check for power sources. Choose a wedding location with easily accessible power outlets. Guests will certainly want to hear the vows, and that may require the use of microphones and a sound system. Having power available also makes it easier for bands and musicians to set up their equipment for an outdoor reception. If the wedding will be stretching into the evening hours, electricity will be needed to power supplemental lighting that illuminates the festivities.

can prove tricky, especially for older guests or those with mobility issues.

When scouting locations, select a wheelchair-accessible spot that can be easily traversed. Understand that turf can become water-logged and challenging to walk over should it rain the day of the wedding or prior. Plastic or fabric runners may make things easier. Also, choose a location that isn’t too far off the beaten path. It should be close enough to a parking lot and not require guests to have to take an extended hike through nature.

• Face away from the sun. Glares can make it difficult for guests to see the ceremony. Be sure to arrange seats so that guests do not have to look into the sun. This is best achieved by having the sun behind everyone for the ceremony.

It also ensures that you won’t end up with washed-out photos or pictures of everyone squinting.

• Ensure accessibility. Outdoor terrain

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• Use fresh flowers in potted plants. Cut flowers tend to wilt prematurely in hot weather. Rather than waste money and beautiful flowers, choose potted plants that will thrive if well-tended. Guests can then take the plants home and continue to cherish the wedding long after it is over.

• Budget for a tent. It is always better to have a contingency plan. Even if you have your heart set on an outdoor wedding, have a backup plan in place if the weather is uncooperative. A tent with surrounding sidewalls may be sufficient.

Otherwise, determine if there is an indoor location that can be kept on standby.

• Ensure food is properly chilled or heated. Dining outdoors means keeping food safety in mind. Food that is supposed to be kept cool should remain on ice or be refrigerated until served. Hot foods should remain hot. Food in chafing dishes or served buffet-style also should be protected from insects. Improper handling of food can result in foodborne

• Mix up the candles. Intersperse citronella candles with the decorative ones to help keep bugs at bay. You can also consider placing small bottles of insect repellent on the tables. Guests will appreciate the gesture when biting flies or mosquitoes want to join in the fun.

Make sure Mother Nature doesn’t rain on your outdoor wedding. Plan for all the possibilities so that an outdoor

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July 3, 2014 • theintelligencer.com

Kids or no kids?

Enjoy a wedding that works for you Weddings are a time for celebration and sharing good times. Some couples want to share their love and excitement with as many people as they can fit under one roof, while others may prefer a more intimate affair to enjoy with a select few.

One difficult decision couples must face when planning a wedding is whether or not to invite children to join in the festivities.

Young guests can bring an energetic spark to the celebration, but kids unaccustomed to dressing up and enjoying a fancy night out may get swept away by the majesty of the night. Adult guests looking to have a good time may find it difficult to relax and let loose if they have to keep a constant eye on their children.

The topic of children at weddings is a tricky subject. Family and friends may have strong opinions on either side of the debate. Ultimately, the couple needs to come to an agreement regarding children at their wedding. Once a decision has been made, couples can employ some strategies to make the wedding as enjoyable as possible for every age

group.

No children Couples who decide to exclude kids from their guest lists should alert guests well in advance of the “no kids” edict. Be tactful when alerting guests. If you will be sending out save-the-date cards, inclchriude the phrase “Adults only, please” on the card. You also may want to include the information on a wedding website if you have one. A website affords you more space to explain your stance on young guests.

When it comes to the wedding invitation, your indications should already be clear.

However, you can reinforce that kids are not invited by addressing the invitations accordingly. Do not include the children’s names or “and family” on the envelope.

Invitations should only feature the names of the people being invited.

Be consistent if you do not want children at the reception. It is not okay to allow one guest’s kids while excluding another’s.

The only exception is children who are members of the wedding party. However, if you prefer a kid-free wedding, you may want to avoid a ring bearer and flower girl

during the ceremony.

Chances are word will spread that the wedding is not for child guests. If you do not want to handle inquiries, ask a member of the bridal party to answer any kid-related questions.

Children allowed Contrary to popular belief, children can be well-behaved at a wedding and add a youthful component to the celebration.

Watching a child twirling on the dance floor or devouring a large piece of wedding cake can make a wedding day more memorable and special.

Couples who invite kids to the wedding should expect the unexpected from their youngest guests. Let the small things slide and speak with youngsters’ parents if any issues arise.

Arrange for some activities to keep children entertained and out of trouble.

Have the band or deejay incorporate some child-friendly dances or activities.

Designate the kids’ table and arrange some small toys or activity books.

Be sure to choose some child-friendly foods during the cocktail hour. Hungry

children can be that much more fussy.

Arrange a special menu with the catering manager and be clear about how many kids are invited. Usually kids’ dinners cost substantially less than adults’.

Some reception sites may provide a separate room where children can gather.

A television with a favorite movie or a few video games may be all that’s necessary to pass the time. Hire a babysitter to stay with the children and give adults in the other room peace of mind.

Limited children You may want to include older children at the wedding but have younger ones stay home. As you would for a wedding without kids, spread the word that there is an age limit. On save-thedate announcements, request that “No children under age 12” attend the wedding.

Be prepared for some opposition from guests whose kids fall under the age limit.

Just be firm with your plans.

Dress shopping tips for plus-sized brides-to-be Another challenge many women face when gown shopping is that many wedding gowns are styled and geared toward women with slender figures, making the process of selecting a gown for a curvier bride a bit more difficult. But any bride, regardless of size or figure, can find the ideal dress, especially when she employs the following tips.

Weddings are special days for couples tying the knot. But even the most carefully planned wedding requires some patience and perseverance.

For brides-to-be, finding the right gown is one element of wedding planning that calls for patience and persistence. Trial and error is often part of the process as women look for the perfect wedding gown. Brides-to-be who have a specific style in mind may find that their dream gown doesn’t always live up to expectations, while another style of dress they never imagined wearing turns out to be a stunner.

Sample sizes fit a select few. Bridal shops carry a range of dresses but may only stock one or two sample dresses. For economy, these samples are a median size that are intended to fit as many shoppers as possible. Such gowns are usually in the neighborhood of a size 10. Most women, whether petite or plus-size, will not fit into the sample, so do not get discouraged.

Visit large retail chains. Popular wedding dress chains, such as David’s Bridal, may have a wider selection of sample dresses in larger sizes.

Department stores as well as designers who specialize in plus-size gowns also make good resources.

Call bridal stores in advance to schedule your visits. Your time is precious, so call bridal shops prior to visiting and explain to them your size and what you are looking for in a gown. This will ensure you aren’t wasting your time driving to stores that can’t provide what you want.

Select the right fabrics. Heavier fabrics like taffeta, silk dupioni and satin may conceal better than others and can be ruched to camouflage areas you want to minimize.

many customizations can be done to a gown post-production.

Find a flattering shape. Choose a gown with a full-skirt or an A-line skirt with an empire or a dropped-waist seam that will elongate your midriff and flow away from your hips. Curvier brides typically avoid strapless gowns, as such dresses have a tendency to make a woman’s shoulders and arms look wider.

Use salespeople as a resource. The right salesperson can make wedding shopping much easier and far more pleasant. Don’t rest until you find someone who is excited to work with you and will give you his or her honest opinion and recommendations.

Don’t get stuck on size. Sizes vary widely depending on the manufacturer.

Wedding gowns tend to be labeled with couture sizes, which are much smaller than street sizes. A good salesperson should have a reasonable conversion chart or will choose sizes based on your measurements alone. Ignore the size on the tag and go for the gown that fits.

Dresses can be altered. Every bride needs some alterations made to her dress to achieve the perfect fit. Plus-sized brides may need a few extras. A dress is unlikely to meet all of your needs right off the rack, so find a good seamstress who can alter your dress to meet your needs.

Sleeves can be put on, dresses can be shortened, support can be added, and

Never settle for less. Whether it’s a gown that’s not flattering or a salesperson who is rude or chastises you for not being the ideal size, do not settle for anything less than a great gown and attentive service. Bridal stores compete for business, so if a given shop does not meet your expectations, don’t hesitate to work with a rival store.

theintelligencer.com • July 3, 2014

How to clean your jewelry

11

The story behind Jordan almonds

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ngagement rings are not only tangible investments in the future of a relationship, they’re also investments in a more traditional sense.

Men and women save for months to purchase these special symbols of love and fidelity that will be treasured for years to come.

Properly caring for fine jewelry can help it retain its luster and beauty, as well as its value. According to a 2011 Engagement & Jewelry Survey from XO Group Inc., formerly The Knot Inc. and owners of TheKnot.com, the average American engagement ring costs $5,200, and wedding bands only add to those costs. Upon making such significant investments, it’s no surprise that couples prioritize proper care and cleaning techniques to protect their jewelry, and the following are a few ways to do just that.

• First examine all the prongs on settings, clasps and other components of the rings to make sure they are secure. Otherwise, pieces or stones could come loose and be lost during the cleaning process. If anything is loose, bring it to a jeweler for repairs.

• When cleaning, try soap and water first before moving on to harsher chemicals if necessary. Soft, porous jewelry, such as opals, pearls and turquoise, should only be cleaned in this type of solution to ensure they look their best. Select a mild cleanser, like a gentle clothing detergent or dish soap. Add a few drops to two cups of warm water and quickly dip the jewelry. Use a soft, dry cloth to dry and buff, then lay gems flat to air dry further. If stones need a little more elbow grease, use a soft-bristled toothbrush to scour gently.

• White vinegar is another tool to use when cleaning jewelry. Drop gemstones and gold jewelry into a small jar of vinegar for roughly 15 minutes. Agitate the jar to dislodge any debris. Remove the jewelry and rinse off under water, then dry off.

• Ammonia also can clean jewelry quite effectively, but its aroma may turn people off. Diamond jewelry, in particular, can be soaked in one cup of warm water mixed with 1⁄4 cup ammonia for roughly 10 to 15 minutes. Use a soft-bristled toothbrush to clean any grime from the crevices of the setting and beneath the diamond. Rinse off and allow to dry before wearing. If diamonds are set in platinum, ammonia will also clean the setting effectively.

• For silver jewelry, use aluminum foil to

Keep jewelry looking its best by prioritizing maintenance.

Jordan almonds make popular wedding favors. They also are used during other special occasions, including anniversaries and christenings.

clean tarnished silver. Line a tray with a piece of crumpled aluminum foil and place your jewelry on the foil. Sprinkle a layer of baking soda over the jewelry, then pour boiling water over it. The tarnish will transfer from the jewelry to the foil. You may need to flip or move the jewelry around so all sides come in contact with the foil. Remove and rinse with water. Otherwise, try a specialized silver cleaning paste or solution purchased at the drug store.

• Many jewelry stores will clean jewelry free of charge, especially if couples return to the store where the rings were purchased. Some use high-pressured steam to loosen dirt and debris, while others use jewelry cleaning solutions.

When jewelry isn’t being worn, it should be carefully stored inside a jewelry box or the box in which it was shipped or purchased. Place jewelry back in the same place each time so it does not get lost. Try not to take off expensive rings in the bathroom and leave them on the sink, where they are vulnerable to falling down the drain.

Remove rings and other jewelry if you will be using your hands to mix messy foods or to work with paint, soil or other materials that might put jewelry in jeopardy. Removing jewelry prevents scratching and keeps particles from lodging in the stones or setting.

Caring for jewelry can make it last a lifetime. Then jewelry can even be passed down to other generations.

ordan almonds are a popular wedding favor, particularly at events hosted by families of Italian, Greek and Middle Eastern descent. In their most classic form, these sugarcrusted confections are candied almonds, though peanuts, pistachios, chocolate, and even coffee beans have replaced the almonds in some modern reincarnations of the treat.

Also known as “dragees” or “Italian confetti,” Jordan almonds date back to 1350, when they’re mentioned in Giovanni Boccaccio’s “Decameron,” a collection of novellas. Ancient Romans used to celebrate momentous occasions, such as births and marriages, with this confetti. Until the start of the Renaissance, when sugarcane was introduced into European kitchens, Jordan almonds were made with honey. In lieu of almonds, sometimes dried fruits, aromatic seeds or cinnamon sticks were covered with a hard coating of sugar, and these delicacies were served at many important banquets.

According to the Food and Drug Administration, the name Jordan almond may have originated from the French word “jardin,” which means garden.

Others say Jordan almonds resemble a variety of almond that grows along the Jordan River in Palestine. Nowadays, the term “Jordan almonds” is used to describe any and all candy-coated

J

almonds.

In Greece, where Jordan almonds are known as “koufeta,” tradition suggests that when a female guest places the packet of almonds under her pillow she will dream about the man she will marry.

In Middle Eastern countries, Jordan almonds are considered an aphrodisiac.

Almonds are traditionally given in odd numbers, which are indivisible, symbolizing how the newlyweds will share everything equally and remain undivided, and Jordan almonds are often given five at a time. Each almond represents a quality guests wish for the couple getting married: health, fertility, wealth, longevity, and happiness. The combination of bitter almonds and sweet sugar are representations of a couple’s life together, with the hopes that the newlywed’s experiences will be more sweet than bitter.

Jordan almonds are usually packaged in a small bag or piece of fabric, though some couples tuck them inside a small, decorative box. Couples thinking about using almonds may include the following poem: Five sugared almonds for each guest to eat, To remind us that life is both bitter and sweet.

Five wishes for the new husband and wife — Health, wealth, happiness, children, and a long life!

12

July 3, 2014 • theintelligencer.com

How to handle guests Classic songs to who don’t RSVP include on your wedding reception playlist W Felix Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” is popular at wedding ceremonies near and far, but many songs also enjoy such widespread popularity.

Sentimental standards help shape the celebration. Unless a couple intends to buck all trends, the following are some popular wedding reception staples.

“Unforgettable”: Made popular in the early 1950s by Nat King Cole, “Unforgettable” experienced a resurgence in popularity in the 1990s thanks to a remix of the song that turned it into a duet between the late Cole and his daughter, Natalie.

“Unchained Melody”: The Righteous Brothers classic was a hit in 1965 but rose to even greater popularity when it was included in the 1990 film “Ghost.”

Couples still love to cut a rug to this song at their wedding receptions.

“The Way You Look Tonight”: This oft-covered song is one of the more romantic songs to grace the American

songbook. Billie Holiday, Frank Sinatra and Fred Astaire have put their own unique spins on the song.

“At Last”: Although Ella Fitzgerald was not the first artist to record this song, her version is arguably the most popular.

“What a Wonderful World”: Louis Armstrong’s rousing rendition of this classic can make any reception even more upbeat. The song is especially popular for mother-son and fatherdaughter dances.

“Wonderful Tonight”: Many couples love this Eric Clapton classic about enduring love. And guests love to grab their significant others to take their own spins around the dance floor.

“Last Dance”: Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” is an ideal choice for the final song of the evening. By the time the song switches from the slow-moving opening chords to a more upbeat pace, guests will be grabbing their party favors and heading for the door.

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edding invitations are often a great source of information for guests. While wedding websites also provide a great opportunity for couples to get the word out about their weddings and share pertinent details like the date and location of the wedding, many people are still unfamiliar with the concept of a wedding website, and therefore they rely on invitations as their primary source of information about a wedding.

One of the most important bits of information couples must include on their wedding invitations is the RSVP date. The RSVP, which stands for “répondez s’il vous plaît,” is a couple’s request for a response to their invitation.

The RSVP is typically a specific date by which guests must let the couple tying the knot know whether or not they plan to attend the wedding.

There are no rules that govern how far in advance of the wedding couples should ask their guests to RSVP, but some venues might want a final headcount or at least a close estimate of the final countdown three to four weeks before the big day. As a result, it’s best to ask guests to RSVP at least three weeks before the wedding and preferably four to five weeks before the festivities commence.

If invitations are mailed two to three months prior to the wedding, that gives guests ample time to determine whether they can or cannot join in the celebration. While many guests will respond immediately or in plenty of time for couples to arrange seating and notify their reception venue, nearly every bride and groom has been forced to deal with guests who simply failed to respond to their invitations, a potentially precarious position for couples to find themselves in as their wedding day quickly

approaches.

When guests fail to respond on time, couples should maintain their composure and not take it as a sign of disrespect or indifference. Guests might not be planning a wedding, but chances are they’re busy, too, and their failure to respond is likely just a mistake. Before contacting those who failed to provide a timely response, wait a few extra days so responses that were mailed at the last minute can be counted among those that were received on time.

Once the deadline and subsequent extension has passed, couples can begin to contact those guests who have not responded to their invitations. If it’s a close friend or family member who hasn’t responded, simply call them on the telephone and politely ask if they plan on coming to the wedding. They won’t need to mail the RSVP at this point, so just jot down their response and thank them before moving on to the next person.

When a person who hasn’t responded is less familiar to the bride and groom, such as a parent’s distant cousin or professional colleague, then it’s perfectly reasonable to ask for help. For example, if a parent’s neighbor has yet to reply, ask Mom or Dad to drop by their house or call them on the phone to determine if they plan to attend.

The majority of invitees, if not all of them, who fail to respond on time will understand when contacted directly and asked if they plan to attend, so couples need not be nervous or confrontational when making phone calls or writing emails. Keep things short and sweet and let guests know their attendance is appreciated or their absence will be felt

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lanning a wedding is a collaborative effort for couples. But the decisions do not end when the wedding reception wraps up for the night. Although couples spend months choosing everything from wedding bands to registry china patterns, even more decisions are on the horizon. These include decisions on housing, when to start a family and how to merge bank accounts, bills and investments that comprise their financial portfolios.

Many couples discuss finances before they tie the knot. Establishing a financial plan will shed light on how much you can afford to spend on your wedding.

Newlyweds should make a list of financial matters that concern them, and these concerns can spark discussions about finances. Unfortunately, many couples are hesitant to discuss their personal finances because of embarrassing financial indiscretions or fear of being chastised by their spouses. To avoid conflict, consider these ways to merge newlywed finances.

Be forthcoming with information. It may be embarrassing to have a low credit score or substantial amount of debt. But it’s still best to share this information sooner rather than later. Openness with regard to finances allows couples to work collectively to improve their financial standing.

Begin slowly. After so many years of financial self-sufficiency, some newlyweds find it difficult to blend finances. Couples with vastly different salaries may struggle to determine equitable contributions to joint accounts, so it can pay to take things slowly. For example, open a joint account shortly after tying the knot, using the account to pay for home and living expenses. Keep separate accounts for discretionary purchases.

Create a savings plan. Budgets that worked before you got married likely won’t be realistic now that you have tied the knot. Expenses and/or income may have increased, so examine your finances to get an honest assessment of your finances. Once a clear of how much money is coming in and going out picture is presented, you and your spouse can begin to map out your short- and long-term financial plans.

Establish a family CFO. Many couples opt to split responsibilities equally, while others realize one person is better suited to managing money. Whatever your decision, it should be mutual. Financial conflicts are one of the biggest contributors to marital dissatisfaction. If one person is the primary account manager, the other spouse should have open access to bank accounts, credit cards and passwords. Recognize that responsibilities are not static. Changes can be made if things are not working out.

Kids change everything. Plans may need to be revised as children enter the equation. Separate accounts may have worked in the past, but usually it makes more financial sense, especially come tax time, to completely merge accounts when children are in the picture. It may also be time to think about life insurance and disability insurance. Couples also must update investment paperwork and retirement accounts to include new beneficiaries. Both husband and wife should each write a will once children are born. This may require another assessment of assets and some additional financial decisions.

Communication is the most important thing when newly married couples begin to

merge their finances.

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July 3, 2014 • theintelligencer.com

Bachelor party planning pointers

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bachelor party is a tradition that some might be surprised to learn extends far beyond North America.

Though bachelor parties go by many different names, these get-togethers held for a man shortly before he gets married are enjoyed in Great Britain, Ireland, Australia and South Africa.

The responsibility of planning a bachelor party traditionally falls on the shoulders of the groom-to-be’s best man, who can choose to plan the party on his own or enlist the help of his fellow groomsmen.

Immortalized in films such as 1984’s “Bachelor Party” and the 2009 comedy “The Hangover,” bachelor parties range from the tame to the relatively raucous to the outrageous. While best-mento-be might be nervous about planning a bachelor party, the following are a handful of tips for men who want to make a friend or family member’s bachelor weekend as memorable as possible.

Don’t go it alone. Just because you are the best man does not mean you need to plan the entire bachelor party on your own. While you might want to add a few special and personal touches to the festivities, that does not mean you can’t enlist the help of your fellow

groomsmen or the groom’s friends who are not included in the bridal party.

Enlisting the help of others can be especially helpful when planning a party for a large group, which can be difficult to organize. If the group is large and spread out, ask someone to represent each particular group of friends, such as childhood friends, college buddies and any professional associates who will be joining in the festivities. If the groom is your family member, you can take on the responsibility of coordinating with family members. Breaking things down can make it easier to organize and help the groom’s other close friends and family members feel like they are more involved in the festivities.

Ask the groom for a list of invitees.

While it’s tradition to prevent the guest of honor from participating in the planning, it is a good idea to ask the groom for a list of people he wants to invite. This can help a best man who is not familiar with all of a groom’s friend’s or associates to organize the party, and it also ensures that friends who were not invited to the wedding are not mistakenly invited to the bachelor party. In addition, the groom may want certain people excluded from

the festivities for personal reasons, so asking him for a list of invitees can help avoid any confusion or conflicts down the road.

Choose a different locale for the bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Many couples have their bachelor and bachelorette parties on the same weekend, and such parties are meant to be a chance for the groom to spend time with his male friends while the bride spends time with her female friends. So when planning the bachelor party, the best man should ensure he does not choose the same locale as the maid of honor chooses for the bachelorette party.

While many couples have abandoned traditional bachelor and bachelorette parties in favor of one big party for everyone a couple of nights before the wedding, those who are sticking to tradition likely want to keep the festivities separate. A best man can work with his female counterpart, the maid of honor, to ensure the parties don’t cross paths.

Plan at least one special event for the weekend. While many men would be content to enjoy one last weekend hanging out with their male friends before tying the knot, one way to make

the weekend even more memorable for the groom-to-be is to plan at least one special event, which can act as the centerpiece of the weekend. This special event may include a group trip to attend a sporting event or an evening seeing the groom’s favorite band perform live.

The event should cater to one of the groom’s interests, and if possible, keep things a surprise to make it even more memorable.

Limit the groom’s financial responsibility. Chances are the groom has enough on his plate with regard to paying for his wedding, so it’s best to limit the groom’s financial responsibility as much as possible. Don’t let him buy any drinks or food all weekend, and if you can afford to do so, foot the bill for his transportation and lodging as well. While such gestures are certainly not obligatory, they are thoughtful and will mean a lot to the groom-to-be.

Planning a bachelor party might come with some pressure, but men tasked with such a responsibility should remember to

have fun and enlist others’ help when necessary.

theintelligencer.com • July 3, 2014

15

Which dinner service is right for your wedding? of a dinner party. Still, some weddings feature only desserts.

But guests attending more traditional weddings expect to dine at the receptions that follow such affairs.

Buffet service and a sit-down dinner are the most popular choices for wedding meals, and each has its advantages and disadvantages. Choosing the dinner service that works best for your wedding may involve a careful comparison of the various offerings and keeping your budget and guests’ comfort in mind.

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eddings are typically the culmination of months of careful planning. After a couple has officially tied the knot, a celebration typically follows. Although music and mingling are integral to a wedding reception, the meal is often the central component of the party.

Couples have options when choosing dinner service for their weddings, and some need not serve dinner at all. An early wedding may consist of a brunch or some passed appetizers, while some couples opt for a cocktail party in lieu

Sit-down dinner A sit-down dinner consists of several courses of plated food served by a waitstaff. Guests never have to leave their seats, and sit-down service is usually in line with a formal reception.

Some food offerings at sit-down dinners tend to be fancy and presented in a manner that is appealing both to the eye and the palate.

There are several advantages to sitdown meals. Guests can focus entirely on enjoying themselves and conversing with fellow guests rather than getting up to seek out food, and those with mobility issues do not have to worry about

maneuvering to a buffet station or trying to balance food. Guests get top-notch treatment and will have a waitstaff on call to fill their every need, which can make an affair more memorable for all in attendance.

But sit-down dinners are typically more expensive as well. Guests are generally given several choices for the main course, and that could mean ordering extra food and preparing it to be ready for guests’ selections. Serving meals may take longer, and sometimes meals may not arrive hot to the table. Guests may be limited to certain food choices, and portion sizes may not be what guests were hoping for. Sitting idle for a while can affect the mood of the reception and lead to boredom.

Buffet service A buffet-style dinner is served from a long dais table that holds several chafing dishes full of food. Wedding guests will rise from their seats and make their way to the buffet stations, where they’ll be able to serve themselves or be served by staff manning the stations.

Buffets present an array of foods that cater to the various dietary needs of

guests. Those at the reception can sample several different foods rather than be restricted to one main course.

Guests can limit portion sizes or sometimes return for second helpings.

Buffets are generally less formal and allow guests to mingle more readily.

But buffet-style meals may produce long lines as guests pick and choose their meals. While experienced catering managers and reception site staff should have plans in place to create a free-flow of guests to the buffet stations, there will be a first and a last table called to eat, and guests on the tail end of the service may be stuck with whatever is left over if food is not adequately restocked. In an effort to accommodate everyone, extra food may be cooked for buffetstyle dinners, which can be costly and wasteful. In addition, guests are asked to do more work, as they need to get up and retrieve their own food.

A catering company or the banquet manager at a reception site can work with couples as they decide if a buffet or sit-down dinner is the best option for their wedding receptions.

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July 3, 2014 • theintelligencer.com

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