PartOne:TheBastard
Eric
Whenthe Kingstonfamilydecides to throw a party, it means no less thantwo hundred people at their twenty-thousandsquare-footAspenestate,valetsatthedoor,anabundanceofKingstonMotorsluxurycarsinthedrive,andmoney.Lotsof money, because Jeff Kingston has nothing to do with anyone who doesn’t have money, aside from me, his bastard son, otherwiseknownasthebackupheirjustincasemyhalf-brotherkicksthebucket
Iexittheguesthouse,whereI’mstayinguntilmymeetingwithmyfathertomorrow,whichIshouldn’thaveaccepted.Idon’t knowwhythefuckI’mevenhere,asidefromthefactthatthesepeoplearesupposedtobemypeople,andleavingtheSEALs was like leavingfamily. It’s hard to letgo ofthatneed for a familyunit. Family. Right. Whatthe hell was Ithinking? Like I couldeverreallybeaKingston.
Itraveldownastonepathshroudedinflowersandlowhangingtrees,twistingleftandthenrightuntilIenterthecourtyard filledwithbodies infancydresses andtuxedos liketheoneI’minnow.Awaiter walks byandIsnagaglass ofchampagne whenI’dratherhavewhiskey,butI’llsettleforanythingtogetmethroughtonight’slaunchofanewmodelofcar Ibarelygive ashitabouttheoldmodel,whichisexactlywhymyfathershouldn’twantmetoworkforhim.Iwalktooneofthefewdozen standingtablescoveredinwhitetablecloths,downmydrinkandacceptanotherwhenmygazecatchesonawoman,onher and just her.
She’s standingonthe other side ofthe pool,a princess ina strappyblackdress,withflawless ivoryskinandlongbrown hair,surroundedbyhersubjects Atleast,that’showshereadstome,nodoubtlikeeveryothersocialiteI’veevermetinthis godforsakenworld, and yetI’mwatchingher whenInever watchthem. There’s somethingaboutthis woman, a white swan amongtheblackswansonapondmadeofmoneyanddeath,mymother’sdeathmorespecifically,sincethat’showIgothere Myprincessmustfeelmyattentionbecauseshetunesouttheconversationshe’shavingwithseveralotherpeople,herchin lifting,hergazesweepingwideandthencatchingmine Idon’teventhinkaboutlookingaway Idon’tcarethatsheknowsthat I’mwatchingher.Idon’tcareifsheknowsthatI’mthinkingaboutfuckingher.I’mthebastardintheseparts.FromthetimeI was thrustintothis placerightbeforemysenior year ofhighschool,IdowhatIdoandeveryonewhispers aboutit.I’mnot goingtochangethatnow LetthemwhisperaboutwhatIwant,andthiswoman,whoeverthefucksheis,isworththewhispers The mannextto her touches her elbow, his gaze shootingmydirection, his jaw settinghard withanger. Priceless and so typical ofmyfather’sclassofpeople He’spissedatmeforgettinghiswoman’sattention Heshouldhavefuckedherbetter MycellphonebuzzeswithatextmessageandIcutmystare,downingmychampagneandthenreachingformyphonetofinda messagefromGraysonBennett,aclosefriendfrommyfirstgoatHarvardrightbeforeIleftandwentintotheNavy.Unlikeme, he’snobastard,butratherthetrueheirtotheBennettempire.
Call me,hismessagereads,whichistypicalGrayson.Hewantssomething,heasks,andusuallywithactualwords,notatext message Andsincewehaveunfinishedbusiness,Idon’twanttobeoverheard,IwalktowardthehousewhereIknow Ican findbothprivacyandthatwhiskeyI’mcraving.Unfortunately,Imightjustfindmywaytotherightful heirtothethrone,right alongwithourfatheraswell,butatleastI’llmakemyshowingandgetthehelloutofhere “Thereheis.Mybrother.”
MyjawclenchesatthesoundofIsaac’svoiceevenbeforehestepsintomypath. Think of the devil and he shall appear,I think,butthis time,atleasthe’s comebearinggifts.Heoffers meoneofthetwowhiskeyglasses hehas inhand.“Thegood stuff.Thekindwedrinkaroundtheseparts.”
Hedoesn’tmean“we”asinmeandhim Hemeans“we”asintheKingstonfamily,whichexcludesthelikesofme Oureyes lockandhold,thedramaofthepast,thehatredbetweenuspalpable,andIhavenodoubtthecrackleofenergyaroundusisthe attentionoftheroom Weare,afterall,themuchwhisperedaboutheirandthewould-beheirwhodespiseoneanother Himthe prince,withthick,darkhairandgreeneyes,whileI’msimplythebastard,withwavybrownhair,blueeyes,andagoodfour inchesonhisshortass.Hetellseveryonehe’sfive-eleven,butweall know he’sfive-nine.Idon’tlooklikeI’mhisblood.I damnsuredon’tfeellikeI’mhisblood,butmymothermadesureIcan’tbedenied SheorderedtheDNAtestthatchangedmy
lifeandnotforthebetterinmyopinion.
IaccepttheglassandhisgazeflicksovermyRolexpeekingfrombeneathmywhitedressshirtandlingersonmytatbeforea smirkliftsonhisface “Lookslikesomeonegotallinkedup” “Thebastardbrothermightaswelllooktherole,right?” “You’renevergoingtoletmelivedowncallingyouthat,nowareyou?”
“Webothknowyoudon’twanttoliveitdown,butyouwillhavetofacemeeverydayifIdecidetojointhecompany.It’s myturntosmirk “We bothknow thatdidn’tgowell for youatHarvard” It’s a reminder ofour sharedcollege days,where everyonecomparedus,andheoftencameupshort.“YoumusthavebeensodamnrelievedwhenIleftschoolandenteredthe Navy,andfrustratedasfuckthatI’mback.”
HiseyessparkwithafamiliarangerIdon’thavetointentionallystir Hehatesmeforbeingthebastardchildofhisfather’s mistress,thebrotherthrustonhimonlymonthsafterhismotherdied.Anironicturnofeventsconsideringmymother’scancer. Hestepscloser,toetotoewithme,all upcloseandfriendly “Ifyouthinkthatbecauseyou’resomesortofSEALTeamSix heroorsomething,thatIwon’tbuckleyourightattheknees,you’rewrong.Youwill not takewhatismine.” “Iseeyoutwogotrightbackintothebrotherlylove”
Atthesoundofmyfather’svoice,Isaacgrimacesandmylipsquirk.“Seemswehave,”Isay,asIsaacrotatesandweboth facemyfather,wholooksfitandtriminhistuxedo,andfar younger thanhisfifty-four years,amerehintofgrayinhis thick darkhair “IhavesomeoneIwantyoutomeet,”hesays,andthat’swhenmylittleprincessstepstohisside,hercrystal blue eyesmeetingmineasmyfathersays,“Eric.Meetyourstepsister,Harper.”
Now, isn’t this interesting ,Ithink,myeyesfixedonHarper,thestepsisterI’venevermet,daughtertothewomanmyfather marriedwhileIwas intheNavy.Ioffer her myhand.“Nicetomeetyou,Harper,”Isay,andwhenour eyes meetatthis closeproximity,thesparkbetweenusissodamncombustiblethere’snowayitgoesunnoticed.
Shepressesher palmtomine,her gazedroppingtoaportionofmyinkedarm,tothecollectionofcolorsanddesignsthat makeupmyfullsleeveandreflecteverythingandsomehownothinginmylife.Herlipspart,herexpressionthatofintrigueand notthe disgustIexpectfroma perfectprincess She tightens her grip onmine ever-so-slightlyand looks up atme “Nice to finally meetyou,”shesays,andfuck,theraspyqualitytohervoicemakesmycocktwitch. “Finally?”Iask,forcingmyselftoreleaseher.
“Harperhasbecomequitetheprotégéthepastyear,”myfatherinformsme “Herfatherownedacompetingbusinesswe’ve absorbed.Thedogmaticwayshefightsforthecompanyisimpressive.You’dthinkshewasblood,likeyoutwo.”
“Iwaswithmyfathernightandday,”Harperexplains “Ilearnedalotfromhimataveryyoungage”
Thisjustgetsmoreandmoreinteresting.She’smyfather’sprotégéandifshedidn’twanttofuckmeasbadlyasIwantto fuckher,she’dprobablywanttofuckmerightoutoftown Yetanotherpricelessmoment “Ineedtomakeaphonecall,”Isay, andIdon’twaitforanyone’spermission.
IdownthewhiskeyIsaachandedme,settheglassdownonabench,andsteparoundHarper,mydestinationonceagainthe castle-likehousethatisthecenterpieceoftheproperty Noonestopsme JustasnoonewelcomedmewhenIarrivedbecause despite livingmostofmychildhood here, this was never “home” to me. Itwas justwhere Ilived and thankfuckfor it, or I mighthaveturnedoutjustlikethem Ifthistriphasdoneonethingforme,it’stocontrasttheBennettfamilyInowworkforand the Kingstons. The Bennetts lookoutfor their own. The Kingstons waituntil youturnyour back, and stab youinit. Inother words,they’reonestepupfromthedevil’sownfamily
Ireachmydestinationandenterthebackdoor,directlyintothekitchenwhichisthesizeofthemobilehomeIspentmyearly yearsinwithmymother.Thatis,rightupuntilthetimeshekilledherselfbeforethecancertookher.Ofcourse,shedidn’tleave meinthattrailer ShespentherdyingdaysprovingthatIwasthebastardchildofJeffKingstonandforcinghimtoclaimme I walkthroughthearchwayanddownahallwaytotherighttowardmyfather’soffice,whichiswhereI’ll findwhiskeyafew gradeshigherthanthebullshitIsaacgavemelikeIwouldn’tknowbetter
Once I’minside the man-cave ofanoffice, withbookshelves liningthe walls and a sunkenseatingarea withcouches and chairs,Iwalktothebarinthecorner,pourathirty-year-oldwhiskeyandsitdowninachair.Afteradamngoodtaste,Ipullmy phonefrommypocketanddialGrayson,thebillionairewhohiredme,paidformylasttwoyearsofHarvard,andearnedtwo thingsIdon’tgiveoutfreely myloyaltyandfriendship.
“Myman,”heanswers “Thatstockyouhookedmeupwithcamethroughinabigway You’reabeast ThatIQofyoursis financialgenius.”
ThatIQIinheritedfromamotherwhostillendedupwithnothing,andIdon’tknowhowthathappened “Gladitworkedout, man.Areweevennow?”
“YoupaidforthepasttwoyearsatHarvardandthensome.Itooktheextramoneyandinvesteditbackintothestockmarket foryou.”
“Considerityours.Interestforloaningmethemoney.”
“Idon’tneed the money I’ll reinvestitinyoutentimes over, butIknow youhave your ownempire to rundownthere in Colorado.”
Idownthewhiskeyanddecidethat’sitforme I’mgoingtoendupdrunkifIdon’tslowthefuckdown “I’mtheheirbastard, nottheheirapparent.Youknowthat.”
“Iknow whatyouare,” Graysonsays,“andyou’re nobody’s bastard.Youhave a place righthere bymyside,notinsome officetwobuildingsover if youdecideyouwantit Otherwise,signmeupforapieceofKingstonMotors,butonlyifyou’re
runningit.”
He’s barkingupthe wrongtree.That’s notgoingtohappen.The questionis,doIwantanypartofaidinginits success? I must WhyelsewouldIbehere?“Orian,”IsayofastockI’vebeeneyeing “Buybig Buyfast” “Youwantin?”
“Yeah Anythingyoumadeforme,putitin”
“Yougotit.Whendoyouhavethatmeetingwithyourfather?”
“Tomorrowafterthisgodforsakenlaunchparty”
“Callmeafterit’sover.Butremember,youhaveabrilliantfinancialmind.Youowehimnothing.Dowhatyoudoforyou, nothim.Heneedsyou.Heknowsit.Don’tlethimconvinceyouit’stheopposite.”
“Right I’llcallyoutomorrow”
WedisconnectandIstickmyphonebackinsidemypocketbeforepullingamini-Rubik’scubefrommypocket,rotatingthe puzzleinmyhand,andthinkingbacktothepsychologistwho’dplacedthefirstoneinmyhand Myfatherhadhiredhimtotry to“normalize”mybehavior.Asavant,thephysiologisthadsaid,needsafocalpoint,awaytoslowthedatainmyhead,andhe wasright
Iscrambleandsolvethecubethreetimes,settlingmymindintoaplaceofreckoning,andthenshovethecubebackinmy pocket.Thebottomline:Idon’tbelonghere.Ineverbelongedhere.Istandupandwalktomyfather’sdeskwhereIsitdown andthinkaboutthosewords: You owe him nothing
Notexactlytrue.Myfather tookmeinwhenmymother died.HepetitionedtogetmeintoHarvardbasedonmyacademic record, whichhad beendismissed because ofmytrailer trashbackground Iowe him, butIdon’twantto owe himanything more.I’mnotgoingtoworkformyfather.I’mleaving.Igrabapenandapieceofpaperandwriteanotetomyfather:
Consider this payment for the whiskey I just drank and the roof over my head when I was growing up Invest big in Orian and do it quickly. Your Bastard Son. Idropthepenandstandup,walkingtowardthedoor,mydecisionmade.I’llstayforthemeetingtomorrow,simplybecause hedidgivemearoofovermyhead,evenifitwasonlyastrategytopushIsaactobebetteranddobetter,whichmeantshoving usintoaperpetualdogfight.That’swhathewantsnow,tousemetodriveIsaac,butIsaacisviciousandnotallthatsmart.I’ll eatIsaacalive TheproblemformyfatheristhatIjustdon’tcareenoughtowanttoanymore Iexittothehallway,andwhenIlookleft,Harper isexitingthebathroom.Fuckit.I’moutofhere.Whyholdback.Idon’t evenhesitate.Iwalktowardher andwhensherotatesandfindsmeapproaching,shefreezesinplace,andwaitsonmeuntil I’mstandingdirectlyinfrontofher.Shetiltsherchinup,thosebrilliantblueeyesboldlymeetingmine,thescentofrosesand woman,liftingintheair,teasingmynostrils.Apparently,IlikerosesawholehellofalotmorethanIthoughtIdidbecauseher scentisdrivingmewild Idon’tknowwhatthehellhappens,butmyhandslidesunderherhair,andIleanin,mylipsnextto herlips.
Herhandsettlesonmychestandgripsmylapel,thatperfectmouthofherstiltingtowardmineasifshe’sofferingittome “Whatareyoudoing?”shedemands,soundingbreathless.Iwant herbreathless all night long. “WhatdoesitlooklikeI’mdoing?Kissingmy sister.”Mymouthslantsoverhers,mytongueslidingrightpastherperfectly puckeredlips,andwithonedeepstroke,shemoansforme,andI’mundone Idon’tthinkI’veeverwantedtokissanyonemore thanIwanttokissthiswomanrighthere,rightnow.Ideepenthekissandpressheragainstthewall,myfreehandatherwaist, herhandonmyhand HertonguemeetsmineforeverylickandstrokeuntilIpullbackandstaredownather Voicessoundinthedistance,buttooclosefor comfort,andIseizewhattimewehaveleft,anddecidetodoher afavor.I decidetobehonestwithher,likenooneelseinmyfather’sworldwill “He’susingyoutopushIsaac,justlikehe’salways usedme.You’llneverinherit.You’llneverbeanythingbuttheprincessstandingnexttotheprinceandhisking.Andjustforthe record.I’mnotyourfuckingbrother.”Ireleaseherandwalkaway,makingafastpaththroughthekitchenandoutofthehouse. OnceI’minthemidstofthecrowd,IcutthroughthemessofpeopleandfindmywaybacktothepathtomycottagewhereI enterandhaveeveryintentionofpackingupandgettingthehelloutofhere.I’vebarelyshutthedoorwhenthebellrings.Who thehellfollowedmetothecottage,becausesomeonesureasfuckdid IflingopenthedoortofindHarperstandingthere “BecausewhywouldanyonethinkthatIhaveanythingrealtobringtothetable,right?”shechallenges,asifwewerestillin themiddleofourpriorconversation,herbeautifulblueeyessparkingwithanger
“Becauseallmytimewithmyfather,learning hisbusiness,taughtmenothing.” Igrabherandpullherinsidethecottage.
naboutthirtyseconds,Ihavethedoorshutandlocked,andHarperpressedagainstthewall,mythighsshacklinghers.“You don’tgettotellmewhatIcanorcannotdo,”shehisses,asifshedoesn’tnoticethatI’maboutdoublehersizeandpresently theoneincontrol.
“Howoldareyou?”Idemand “Whatdoesthathavetodowithanything?”shesnapsback,notevenclosetobackingdown. “Howold?”Irepeat “Twenty-three,butIstilldon’tgetwhythathasanythingtodowiththis.” “Howlonghaveyoubeenoutofschool?”
“Just because I’mnot a thirty-year-old literal genius doesn’t meanIhave nothingto offer, and the suggestionthat it does makesyouanasshole.”
“I’mnotsuggestingthatyouhave nothingto offer I’mtellingyouitdoesn’tmatter to him Ithoughtitdid, too, wayback when.IthoughtifIwasbetterthanIsaac,I’dhaveaplace.Itdidn’t.Iwon’t.”
“Thenwhyareyouevenhere?”
“Apparentlytokissyou.”MyfingerstangleinherhairandIlowermymouthtohers.
“Thisisabadidea,”shewhispers,buthervoiceisraspy,affected.Icanalmosttasteherhungerformeintheair. Ikissher,aquickbrushoflips,andalickthathastheheatbetweenusdamnnearexplosive “Stillthinkit’sabadidea?” Herhandsflattenonmychestbuttheyflexratherthanpush.“Webothknowthisiswrong.” “Andyetyoufollowedmehere” “Yousaidthatalready.”
“Youknewwhatwouldhappenifyoucamehere,”Iaccuse “Iwasimpulsive,drivenbyanger.”
IcertainlyknowalltoowellhowangerandfamilycollideinwaysIwon’teverexplaintoanyone.MyjawsetshardandI releaseher,puttingawidestepbetweenus “Stayorgo,butifyoustay,you’regoingtoendupnaked” “Iknowyourfather’sanasshole,butmymotherloveshimandmyfather’scompanyisnowapartofyours.” “His,”Icorrect “AndthepartwhereIsaidthatifyoustayed,you’dendupnaked,”Ireachforherandpullhertome,“you didunderstandthat,correct?”
“Idon’tscareoffthateasily.IfIdid,Iwouldn’tbeworkingforyourfatherandunderyourbrother.”
“It’smeIwantyouunder,”Isay,moldingherclose,myhandscaressingdownherback,andcuppingherperkybackside. “I’mtooyoungandstupidforbusiness,butI’mjustrighttofuck?”
“I’mwarningyou,Harper,nottalkingdowntoyou Andifyou’reyoungandstupid,sowasI”
“Youwantedtobehere,”shesays,andit’snotaquestionortheaccusationI’dgetfromIsaac.
“Yes,”Isay,tanglingmyfingersintoherhair “Iwantedtobehere,justlikeIwanttoberighthere,rightnow with you ” Mymouthslantsoverhers,andIkissheragain,adeepthrustoftonguethat’sasunforgivingasmyfatherwouldbeifitcame downtochoosingherorIsaac.It’sallaboutdemandandIexpecthertopushback,togivemetherejectionthatsendshertothe doorandmetothefuckingairport.That’snotwhatIget.
Her hand onmychestdoesn’tpushme away. She moans and her elbow softens, those perfectcurves I’d admired froma distance now pressed nice and close, right up to the moment she jerks back “My God What are we doing? You’re my stepbrother. ”
Iwalkherbackagainstthewallagain,myhandscaressingupherribcage “Itoldyou,”Isay,unlacethestringsbindingthe frontofherbodice,andexposinghernakedbralessbreasts;beautiful,full,perfectbreasts,strokingmythumbsoverherplump rosynipples.“I’mnotyourfuckingbrother.Notnow.Notever.”Icupherface,leaninandmymouthfindshermouth,andif shethoughtmytongueunforgivingbefore,it’sdownrightbrutalnow Becauseit’sinmyblood It’swhoIam,whoIwasbornto
be.Abastardwhowantsher.Abastardwhowilldemandeverythingshewillgivemeandthenleavewhenit’sover. Asoft,sexysoundslidesfromherlips,sodamnsexy,mycocktwitches,expandingbeneathmyzipper.Asifsheknows,she pressesherhandtomycrotchandholyfuck,Ineedinsidethiswoman Ipushoffthewallandshrugoutofmyjacket,mygaze rakingover trulyspectacular breasts. Her teethscrape her bottomlip, and she moans softlyatmyinspection. Iwanther to moanagain AndIwantthatmouthonmybody Iwantmymouthonher body
Itossmyjacket,anddon’tgivetwofuckswhereitlands,ripawaymytieaway,andsheshowsnosignsofrunningaway,asI halfexpectshewill Sheclosesthesmallspacebetweenus,herdelicatefingersfiddlingwiththebuttonstomyshirt,working themfree,andwhenthere’sadeepenoughgap,Ireachbehindme,andtugthedamnthingovermyhead.
Bythetimeit’sontheground,she’stouchingmeallover,noinhibitions,whichisfineasfuckbyme,untiloneofherpretty little hands slides downtomycrotch,andIreact Islow things downbefore Ifuckher andthis is over,andwhenitis,I’m gone.I’mnotreadytobegonewhichiswhyIturnhertothewall,andforceherhandstoitssurface,dragthetopofherdress downtoherwaist,andonlythendoInestlehersweetlittleasstomyrock-hardcock,andpressmylipsatherear “Yousawmewatchingyouacrossthepool.”
“Of course Isawyou Youwanted metoseeyou” “Yes. I did. AndIwantedyoutoknow Iwantedtofuckyou.Iwantedyoutoknow Iwantedyounaked.”Ipressmyhands underherdress,andslideitoverherhipsandtoherfeet.Iliftherandkickitaway,takingamomenttoappreciatejusthow perfectherheart-shapedassisbeforeIgiveitasmack
Shegasps,andIyankawaythelittlestringofsilkbetweenhercheeks,andthenturnhertofaceme,myfingerstangleinher hair “Andsinceyou’rehere,”Iadd,“Iwillassumeyougotthatmessageloudandclear” “I’mstill angryand you’re still anarrogantasshole, butapparentlyitdoesn’tmatter, butwhydon’tyoufuckme before I cometomysenses.”
Ipressmycheektoonesideofherface,myhandtotheother,mylipsbyherear.“Ipromisetousemytongueinalltheright placestomakesureyouhavenoregrets.”
ShepantsoutabreaththattellsmemywordsaffectherandI’mrighttherewhenshedoes,kissingheragain,drinkingherin, anddamnshetastesgood;onepartinnocence,onepartwickedbadgirl.
Icouldjustfuckherrighthereagainstthewall,satethisdamncravingforherI’vehadsincethemomentIsaw herbythat pool.AndifshewasanyoneelseIwould.Butnother,andnotforanyreasonIcanexplain.
Iscoopherupandcarryherthroughthelivingareatothebedroom,becausehell,Idon’tknow,itjustfeelslikeIshouldfuck heronthebed.Oncewe’reinthebedroom,IsetheronherfeetinfrontofthemattressandIfoldhertome,myhandsliding underherhairandcuppingherneck,controllingher.“ThisiswhereIlickandyoucomeonmytongue.”
’mabouttogodownonmykneeandmakegoodonthatpromisetolickHarpertoorgasmwhenshesuddenlyrejectsthatidea andme.“No,”shewhispers,flatteningherhandsonmychest.“No.Thisisamistake.Ineedtoleave.” ShetriestopullawaybutIcatchherwaist.“Whatjusthappened?”
“Idon’tdothiskindofthing Ever Idon’tknowwhyI’mhalfnakedwithyourightnow”
“This is why,” Isay, cuppingher head and kissingher, mytongue strokingdeep and long, the tensioninher bodyeasing almost instantly, a tiny moan sliding fromher mouth “That’s why,” I repeat, when she’s all soft and yielding in my arms “BecauseyouwantmeandIwantyou.”
“Youwantsomething,” sheaccusesasifshe’sdecidedI’mmotivatedbysomeinvisibleagendathatdoesn’texist.
“Sweetheart,you’retheonlyreasonI’mnotdrivingawayrightnow”
“BecauseIfityouragenda?”
“Myonlyagendarightnowisyouonmytongue”Ikissheragain “Andwhatdoesmebetweenyourlegsdoformebesides turnusbothon?”
“Idon’twanttobeinsidethefamilydrama”
“Don’tmakethiscomplicated.Don’tmakemecomplicated.I’mhere,I’mgone.IwanttofuckyoubeforeIleave.Youwant tofuckme,too,andrightnow,I’mgoingtokissyouagainunlessyou ”
“Stoptalking,”sheordersfiercely “Stopandgivemetimetothink Ineed ” “Ineed,”Isay,andmymouthslantsoverhers,andtheinstantmytonguetoucheshers,shemoansandkissesmeback,awild hungrykiss,myhandonherbreast,hernipple
Shemoansagain,andGod,Ilovethiswoman’smoans.MycockthrobsagainstmyzipperandIneedheronmytongueand everywhereIcangether Ilowertooneknee,myhandsonherhips,slippingherbarely-thereblackpantiesdownherlegs I wrapmyarmaroundherandlifther,tossingthemaside.Whenshe’sbackonherfeet,there’sahintoftrepidationinhereyes thatIdon’twantto exist, and Iknow is rooted inthis screwed up family, and the war ofbrothers, myfather eggs onevery chancehefinds
“I’mgoingtomakeyouforgeteverythingaboutthisnightbutmefuckingyou,”Ipromise,mylipspressingtoherbelly,my tongueflickingagainstthesoftskinthere Shetremblesinresponse,andholyhell,I’msodamnhardthatithurts
HerhandpressestomyshoulderandIcaressherhipandcupherass.Mygazeliftsandherteethscrapeherbottomlip. My teeth gotoherhip,whereInip,andthensoothethetinybitewithmytongue.Islidemyfingersalonghersex,asshe’sdripping forme.Islidetwofingersinsideherandherlipspartinasilentgasp.Istrokeher,pumpmyfingersintoher,andshearchesher hips and makes a barelythere, butfuckingsexyas hell, sound. Ilickher clitand her fingers wrap around myhair, and not gently,
I’malsonotabouttolethercumthisquickly.
ButIlikedit
Irotateherandsitherdownonthebed,andshe’spantingwithmywithdrawal,herlashesfluttering.Myhandssettlingonher knees,mylipsfindingherinnerthighwhilemyhandworksapathuptheoppositeleg,justalittletease,forashortinterlude. ImpatienceisnotmyfriendandIslipmyshouldersbetweenherlegsandmymouthclosesdownonhersex.Whenshemoans,I pullherforwardandforcehertoherback,liftingherlegstomyshoulders,whileIstartlickingandsuckling,hungryformore ofthiswoman,andyes,she’sright We’rewrong We’resofuckingwrongthatwearerightineverypossibleway
Theveryideathattheythinktheyownher,andyet,she’schosentobeherewithme,is everything.Everyfuckingthing,andI slide two fingers inside her again, reveling in the way she arches her hips, lifting into the thrust of my fingers I lick her everywhere,thetasteofhershiftingfromsaltytosweetwhenshesuddenlyquakesintoorgasm,herbodyspasmingaroundmy fingers.
Iusemyfingersandmouthtostrokehertocompletion,andwhenshe’sdone,reallydone,IrealizeIdon’thaveacondomand
thisnightisgoingtobethedeathofme.Ofcourse,itis.I’monKingstonland. Islide upher bodytokiss her,anddamnit,the taste ofher onbothour lips aboutundoes me.“Idon’thave a condom,” I whisper “Ohgod,”shewhispers.“Pleasetellmeno.”
“IwishIcould,”Isay,kissingherandrollingustooursides,facingeachother “Nosex” “Ohno,”shewhispers,soundingtrulydistressed.“Howcanyounothaveacondom?”
“Iwasn’texactlyexpectingahotstepsisterIwantedtofuck”
Her teethworryher bottomlip.“Ioweyouthen,”shesays,her handonmychestwhenIwantitonmycock.Iwantitall overmybody,butIdon’tmove.Idon’ttouchher,notwhenI’mdyingherewantinginsideher.“Youowemenothing.” “Ido,”shesays,“becausethatwas Ium,don’tevenhavewordsforwhatthatwasyoujustdidtome”
Ilaugh,andthereissomethingascharmingandvulnerableaboutherasthereissexy.“I’mgladyoulikedit,youdon’towe me,”Irepeat “I’mnotthem ”
“Thenconsiderwhatcomesnext,forme,notyou.”
“Youdon’tfitthem”Herhandslidesdownmytattoosleeve “Butthisfitsyou Ilovethissoverymuch”Hervoiceislow, andsultry,andIswearifshetouchesmycock,thisisallover.Iwillforgetwhyacondommatters.AndIstillwanthertotouch me.
Herhandsettlesonmystomachandholyhell,Idon’tknowifIhaveenoughwillpowertonotfuckher Shestokesdownmy zipperandtracesthethickridgeofmyerection,andIdon’tevenstopherwhensheshovesmetomybackandstraddlesme. Especiallysinceshe’snakedandgorgeous,andInowhaveaperfectviewofherbreasts Andtheyareperfect Highandfull, withtheseperfectlittlenipples.
“Whatareyoudoing,Harper?”Iask.“We don’t have acondom.” “Butwehaveeachother.Isn’tthatwhatpeoplesaywhentimesaretough?Andnocondomisprettytoughtimes,don’tyou think?”
Ilaughagain “Itis”
Shemovestothesideofme,her kneesatmyhipassherunsher handover myzipper,strokingthehardlengthofmynow throbbingcock “Wealsohavemymouth”SheleansinandkissesmystomachthewayI’dkissedhers I don’t evenconsider resistingwhere this is going. Her mouth, mycock. Yes-fucking-please. Now. I want her too damn badlyto sayno and alreadymyhand is onher head, her mouthkissingme throughmypants, and there’s no real preamble beforeshehasmycockoutandinher hand,butinsteadofsuckingme,sheshovesatmypants;asifthey’readistractionwe can’tafford.I’mallaboutgettingridofthedistractions.Isitup,kissher,andthenstand. I’mfullyundressedinthirtyseconds,facingher withmycockthickandjuttedout,theheatofher eyesonmybody,onmy erection, drivingmyurgency. Isettle ona knee infrontofher, atthe same momentshe rises to her knees to meetme there. Those beautiful full lips ofhers partand lift, and Ican’tresistanother taste Ikiss her, a deep slide oftongue, and she’s so damnsweet,toosweettobeoneofthemandsofuckingaddictive,Iamalreadylostinher.Itakeusdowntothemattress,side byside and fuck, Iknow we don’thave a condom, butIjustwantto feel the wetheatofher bodypressed againstme for a moment
IpressintotheVofherbodyanddeepenthekiss,myhandsalloverherbody,herbodymoldedclose,bothofusdesperate inawayIdon’teverrememberbeingdesperate Ireachbetweenusandstrokemycockalonghersex “Eric,”shewhispers, herfingerscurlingonmychest.“Wedon’thaveacondom.”
“Iknowthat Ijustwanttofeelyouforonemoment Justone”Ipressinsideher,sinkingdeepbutIdon’tletmyselfmove “Holyfuck,”Imurmur,andIknowIhavetostopnowbutIslidebackandthrustoncemore. Shegasps.“Wehavetostop,”shewhispersurgentlybutthenwe’rekissing,andit’ssodamngood,toogood.I’mgoingto fuckingcomeifIdon’tstopnow
Ipulloutandwebothpantwiththeimpact.“Holyhell,woman,”Isay,floppingontomyback,andgroaningwiththeeffortit tooktodenymyselfallthatwet,tightheatenvelopingme Harper scoots closetome,her soft,perfectcurves pressedtomyside,andsheleans inandkisses me.“Ireallywishyou werestill insideme,”shewhispers againstmylips,her voicesodamnsweetandsexy,her handslidingdownmychestand overmystomachtogripmycock.“Whatdoyouneedrightnow?”sheasks.
“Tobefuckingyou,”Isay.“InabouttendifferentwaysourlackofacondomsaysIcan’t.” “Wecanstilldothis,”shesays “Icanstilldothis”Shedoesn’tusewordstoexplainwhat“this”is Sheslidesdownmy body,herhandstillwrappedaroundmyshaft,asshesettlesonherkneesbesideme.Hereyesmeetingmine,hertonguelicking awaythe liquid poolingatthe tip ofmyshaft, whichI’mprettysure is more thansimple arousal Idon’tevenwantto think abouthowcloseIwastocominginsideher.Shetakescareofthatmentalrabbitholethough.Shecloseshermoutharoundme, suckingmelonganddeep,hertongueslidingaroundmeasshedoes,andItellmyselftostop,ItellmyselfthatIwassoclose tocominginsideher,thatitwon’ttakemuchformetocomeinhermouth.Itrytostop.Itrydamnhardtopullherback.“Stop, Harper,orI’mgoingto ”
She sucks me deeper and it’s all over. I can’t hold back. I thrust into her mouthand I’mdone. One more thrust and I’m shudderingwithreleaseandIcan’tpullback.Shesucksmedeeper,longer,andthensloweruntilshe’stakenmeallthefucking way God, IthinkI’minlove withthis woman, whichofcourse, isn’tpossible Idon’tdo love, butifIdid, I’d alreadybe halfwaytherewithallhervulnerablesexiness.
Whenshereleasesmeandkissesmystomach,Idraghertome,kissingherandrollinghertoherback “IreallyhatethatI don’thaveacondom.”
“Idon’t,” she says “Itmeans you’re nota manwhore who’s always preparedtofuckanyone,butitdoesn’tmatter You’re leaving.Theythinkyouwanttobehere,butyoudon’twantthisplace.Notanymore.Ifeelthat.”
“Whydo you wantthisplace?”Iask.“Whatmakesyouneedthis?” “Whatmade you needit?”shecounters,avoidingadirectanswer “Family.IthoughtIneededtheconnection.” “Andnow?”
“No,”Isayeasily,theanswerthatwasn’tclearwhenIarrivedisclearnow.“Notnow.” “IwishIdidn’t”Sherollsoffofmeandontoherback “Whydoyoucallmeprincess?”
Iglance over ather. “You’re the heir to a business thatKingstonabsorbed. You’re royal blood inthese parts, justnotthe rightroyalblood.”
“Ican’tacceptthat Ican’tjustletmyfather’sworkbeabsorbedandforgotten Mymother shemadeamistake Myfather workedtoohardtohaveeverythinghecreatedbeforgottenwiththismerger.”
Irolloverandsettleontopofher,myelbowbyherhead “It’sdone It’stoolateandIsaacwillalwaysbenumberone You knowthat,right?”
“Idon’tacceptthat.Notatall.Isaac he’s thebastard.Andworthless.He’sabouthim,notaboutthecompany,notaboutthe legacyorthefutureor anythingthatmatters.”
“It’strue,butitdoesn’tmatter.He’stheheir,thefirstblood,thegoldenchild.” “Iwantyoutobewrong”
Isearchhereyesandfindthetruth.“ButyouknowI’mnot,”Isay.
“Thenwhyareyouhere?Ifyoureallybelievethat,ifyoubelievewecan’tmakeadifference,whyareyouhere?”
ShehitsanerveandIshiftoffofherandontomybackagain.“IneededtoknowIwasn’twrong.”
“Aboutyourfather?”
“Aboutme,”IsayandIcanfeelherlookingatmebutIdon’tlookather. “Whatdoesthatmean?”sheasks.
“Ineededtofindmyself”
“Andwhoareyou?”shepresses.
“Thebastard”NowIlookather,nowIletherseetherealmeinmyeyes Iletherseewhoshejusthalffucked “I’mhim I willalwaysbehim.”
“IhavemuchIcouldsayaboutthat,”shecomments,morethoughtfulthananything.
“I’mlistening,” Isay, certainthis is goingto be the momentshe convinces me we’re oftwo differentworlds, whenright here,inthisbed,wefeellikewe’reofone.Iwanthertoconvinceme.Iwanthertogivemeeveryreasontogetthehelloutof thisplace,herincluded
“You’redifferentthananyoneI’veevermet,”shesays,runningherhanddownmyinkandtracingoneofthemanyrowsof numbersonmyforearm “How?”
Hereyesshiftfrommyinktomyface.“Ittakessomeonebravetobedifferentandembraceit.Ithinkyoudo.”
“Ididn’talways”
“Becauseasyousaid,youfoundyourself.Ilikethatyou’rethebastardbutnotforthereasonsyoumightthink.” I’mremarkablyonedgewaitingforhertocontinuebutshedoesn’tmakemewaitlong Sheseemstoknowwhereshe’sgoing andgetstherequickly.“You’recockyandarrogant,butyoumakeme,andeveryoneelse,believeit’sbecauseyou’rebetterthan them Youdoyou,andmostofusdon’tevenknowwhatthatmeans”
“Meaningyou?”
“Definitelyme,butmaybeI’llgetthere.I’mtrying.AndIdon’tknowwhyIjusttoldyouthat.Ishouldn’thavetoldyouthat.” Ireachupandtwinestrandsofhersilkyhairinmyfingers “Why?”
Her cellphone rings, a muffled sound inthe distance thathas her eyes goingwide. “OhGod,” she whispers, jerkingaway frommyhandtositup “OhGod I’mgivingaspeech I’mlate”Shescramblesoffthebedandrushestolocateher clothes, dashingforthelivingroom.
IstandupandbythetimeI’vepulledmypantsonandlocatedherbythedoor,she’sfullydressed.“Ihavetogo,”shesays, andI’mstunnedathowmuchIdon’twanthertoleave.
Icatchhertome,kissingthehelloutofherbeforeIreleaseherandopenthedoorbecauseifIdon’tlethergonow,Iwon’t.
Butshedoesn’tgo.Sheseemstoforgetherspeech,frozeninplace,lostinaspacethatismeandherinalittlecottageneither ofusown.Thosegorgeousblueeyesofhersstudyme,andIwanttoknowwhatshe’sthinking,whatshewants,because I want her Time stretches for several more beats before she closes the space betweenus, pushes to her toes, and kisses me “I’ve changedmymind,”sheconfesses,herdelicate,softhandssplayedonmynakedchest.“Ireallydohatethatwedidn’thavethat condom”Withthat,shepushesawayfrommeandrushesoutofthedoor Ilethergo,butfuck,Ican’twalkaway Ican’t really lethergo.She’swhyI’mstillhere.She’swhyI’mstillhere.She’swhyI’mnotleaving.
Ifinishdressing,thescentofher,allsweetandfeminine,clingingtomyskin,druggingmeinthewayonlysheseemstodrug me.Ineedtoseeheragain.Ineedtobeinsidethatwoman,andnotjustherbody.Iwanttoknowwhyshefeelsinsecure,and shedoes.Iwanttoknow whyshe’sherewhenshecouldbesomanyotherplaces.It’sacrazy,out-of-characterthoughtthatI shoveaside
Nevertheless,Ipursueher,walkingdownthepathandfindthepartyagain.Thecrowdisstillthick,theclustersoftuxedos andgowns gatheredaroundastageattheendofthepool,andtheresheis,Harper is onthestage She’s standingnexttomy fatherandmyassholeofabrother,withherlook-a-likemother,who’sfifteenyearsmyfather’sjunior,standingnexttoher.She takesthemicrophoneandstartsspeakingaboutthebusinessandthefamilyanddamnit,myfatherkisseshercheekandIknow I’mwrongabouther.She’soneofthem.She’snotareasontostay.WhatthehellwasIeventhinking?
Iturnawayandwalkdownthepathtothecottage,packmybag,andwithherstillonmytongue,Ileave.
Forever this time
’msittingatmydesk,inmycornerofficeoftheBennettFirm,ourprimarybusinessinthelegalfield,withlocationsallover thecountry,butGraysonisallaboutdiversifyinghisportfolio That’swhereIcomeinandwhyI’mworkingonabuy-inona sportsteamthat’ssuretoaddafewbillioninsalesonthebooksforthecompanyandmyself.Whichismyjob.Makemoney. Grow the business beyond worldwide legal services. Repeat, with Grayson’s aggressive, but smart, stance on growth that worksforusinwaysitmightnotforothercompanies I’mscanningthefinalcontractwhenGraysonpokeshisheadinthedoor “Ihavecontractquestions.”HetapshisRolex.“It’sseveno’clock.Let’stalksomewherethatisn’there.”
“Here-heretothat,”Isay “IcoulduseaMacallanrightaboutnow”IstandupandrollmysleevesdownbeforeIshrugon myjacket,whichneverquitecoversmytattoosleeve,butIreallydon’tgiveashit.I’mlongbeyondgivingashitwhatanyone thinksofme Iftheydon’tlikemyink,theycanmoveonandhopetomakemoneyelsewhere Goodriddanceandgoodluck “Miadoesn’tlikeclauseeight,”Graysonsays,crossinghisarmsinfrontofhischest.
Miabeinghisfiancéeandacriminalattorneywiththefirm,who’srecentlyre-joinedourinnercircleandI’mdamngladshe is back in his life after a year-long breakup Whereas I’m a loner, a man without ties, Grayson needs Mia I might not understandthatkindofbond,butIunderstandhim.“She’sright.Ialreadytoldtheteamownerstogofuckthemselvesoverthat clause”
Hechuckles.“Ofcourseyoudid,andprobablynotanynicerthanyoujusttoldme.”
“Probablynot,”Isay.“ItakeitMiahastrialpreptonight?”
“Shedoes,”hesays.“She’spassionateaboutthiswomanshe’sdefending.She’sallin.”
IshovemyMacBookandastackofpapersinmybriefcaseandjoinhimontheothersideofthedesk.“We’reabouttohitthe holidays When’sthetrial?”
“January.”
“AndtheweddingisinMarch?Areyousureyoudon’tneedtopushitback?”
“Hell no, we aren’tpushingthe weddingback. Mia’s tryingto shutdownthe prosecutionbefore this evengoes to trial. I hiredhelpandwealreadyplannedthisonce.We’rejustduplicatingthoseplans.”
Weheadformydoorandtalkthroughafew piecesofthecontract.We’vejuststeppedintothelobbywhenthedooropens andI’msuddenlystandingfacetofacewithafamiliarbrunettewho’sthelastpersonIexpecttoseerightnow.“Whatareyou doinghere,princess?”Iasksoftly,remindingherofthatnightwespenttogether,remindingherthatIknowwhoandwhatshe is,thenandnow.
“Obviously,”shesays,“I’mlookingforyou”Hereyesmeetmine,blueeyesthecolorofaperfectsky,andIhavenoidea whyIdon’trememberthisabouther.BecauseIrememberfartoomuchaboutthiswoman,bothrandomlyandtoooften,justas I’mthinkingaboutall the perfectcurves beneathanother blackdress she’s wearingtoday. This one is more demure thanthe sexynumbershe’dwornthenightwe’dmet,butitdoesn’tmatter Iknow what’sbeneath Iknow wheremyhandsandmouth havebeenandsodoesshe.
Asifshe’sreadmythoughts,shecutshergazeabruptlyandfocusesonGrayson “I’mHarperEvans,”shesays,offeringhim herhand.“I’mthe ”
“Iknowwhoyouare,”Graysonsays,shakingherhand,whichInoteisfreeofaweddingband “Andhetoldmequitealot
aboutyou,”headds.“Imustsaythatyou’reasbeautifulasheclaimed.”Graysondoesnothingwithoutpurpose.Hewantsher to know Ispoke about her to take her offguard, to make her wonder what else Isaid about her. That’s how he works. He discreetlytakescontrol,andinthiscase,he’sdiscreetlyhandedittome “Thankyou,”shesays,herattentionreturningtome,theawarenessbetweenusdownrightsizzling,ashotasithadbeensix yearsago “CanIpleasespeaktoyouinprivate?”
Grayson’shandcomesdownonmyshoulder.“Meetmeatourusualspot.” Igivehimasmallinclineofmyheadandhedeparts “Let’sgotomyoffice” Sheswallows,herlong,graceful neckbobbingwiththeaction,drawingmygaze,andIwonderwhyIdidn’tkissherthere whenIhadthechance.Iwonderwhatthehellitisaboutthiswoman,outofallofthewomenouttherethatrefusedtoletgo, that’sstillworkinganumberonme,andit’sahellofanumberatthat “Thisway,”Isay,motioningherforward,andatthislate hour,there’snooneinourpath,mysecretaryincluded.
Wewalksidebysidedownthehallway,andI’macutelyawareofher,memoriesofpullingherintothecottageandpressing heragainstthewallinmymind.WereachmyofficeandIopenthedoor,motioningherforward.SheglancesatmeandIsense that she wants to say something, but she seems to change her mind She moves forward and I know what she’ll see: an executivedesk,awindowwithaviewtokillfor,andaseatingareatotheright,whichIplantoavoid.Istillwantherbeyond reasonandthesixyearssincewelastsaw eachother,andthatisn’ttomyadvantagewhensheclearlywantssomethingfrom me
Idon’teventhinkaboutsitting,claimingaspotbehindmydesk,andleaningforward,mypalmsflatonmydesk,asIsayto herwhatsheoncesaidtome “Youwantsomethingfromme”There’snoaccusationinmytone It’sjustafact,andweboth knowit.
ShestepstothefrontofmydeskandmeetsmystareandIfindthisconfidenceasalluringasIdidsixyearsago.Iseethose yearsbothinherblossomedbeautybutalsointheexperienceinhereyes,inthejadedhistoryIdon’tpretendtoknowfirsthand, butIunderstandinwaysfewotherscould.“Ido,”shesays,“thoughIwishIcouldreplytothatstatementthewayyoudidonce andsayIdon’tandmeanitasyoudid”Shehesitatesandthenadds,“Youleft” Thatstatementscreamswithpersonalaccusationwhichisassurprisingashervisit.“ItoldyouIwasleaving.”
“Iknow”Shedoesn’taddtothatstatement,buthercheeksflushaprettypinkbeforesheadmits “Ineedhelp”
Andthereitis,thereasonforhervisit,whichsadlyisnottojustgogetnakedandfuckagain.“Whatkindofhelp?”Iask, cautioninmytone.
“Iknowthatyou’reanearbillionairenow.Ormaybeyouarealready.Iknowthatyoudidallthisyourselfandyouhaveno reasontolookbeyondhere.”
TensionzipsdownmyspineandIpushoffthedesk,intentionallytoweringoverherpetiteheightandframe “Whatkindof help?”Irepeat,becauseIdon’tjivewellwithanyonebringingupmymoneyandtheword“help.”
Shemustreadmyreactionbecausesheholdsupherhand,ahintofpanicdartingthroughhereyes “Idon’twantmoney,oh God,no.I’mhandlingthissoverybadly.Ijustneedthekindofhelpsomeoneasobviouslyfinanciallysavvycanoffer.” Ifoldmyarmsinfrontofme.“I’mlistening.”
“WejusthadoursecondrecallatKingstonMotorsandthistimeaftertwopeoplediedinourcars” “Ireadthat.”
“Somethingdoesn’taddup,”shesays,soundingearnest “Nothinghaschangedinour processandonthebooksandinside ouroperations,everythinglooksright,butit’snot.”
They’ve grown too fast,Ithink,butIdon’tvoicethatopinion “WhatdoesIsaacsay?”
“Formetoleaveitalone.Hehasithandled,butourstockisdownandI’mnotyou.Idon’thavethesameheadfornumbers butIhave a decentaptitude. There’s moneymovinginunpredictable ways. Ineed your help, Eric. Please. Itwasn’teasyto comehere Notafteryouleft,butI’mhere”
After I left.
ShekeepssayingthatlikesheexpectedmetostayandwhileIcouldfindallkindsofpleasureinthiswomanwishingshe’d hadmoretimewithme,I’mjusttoodamnjadedmyselftoseethisthatsimply.
“Ireallyneedyourhelp,”sherepeats
Ifthiswasthatcutanddry,she’dhavemyattention,butit’snot.There’smoretohervisit.There’smoretothisstory.Isense it.Iseeitinhereyes.Ileanforwardagain,andpinherwithmyfullattention.“Whataren’tyoutellingme?”Inarrowmyeyes onhersandleanforward,myhandsonthedeskagain,pinningherinastare “No,”Iamend “Letmerephrase Whatdon’tyou wantmetoknow?”
Harper
knew comingherewastroublebutIdidn’texpecttostareintothisman’sblueeyesfromacrossthedeskandmeltall over again. He is everyfantasyI’ve ever owned sexy, power, confidence. I’d beencertainthatI’d builtthe attractionup into morethanitwasovertime,certainI’dturneditintomorethanitwas,butIwaswrong.Heaffectsmeandnotjustphysically.I mean,yes,he’sonehellofagood-lookingmanandhewearsthatexpensivesuithe’sgotonlikeheownsitandtheworld,but it’s more with him. There is something raw and dark about him that reaches beyond his sharp cheekbones and jawline. Somethinginhiseyes,somethingIfeelineverypartofme,thatIhungertounderstand Whichofcourse,Iwon’t,considering whyI’mhereandwhoIam.
“Whataren’tyoutellingme,Harper?”hedemandsagain.
Too much,Ithink Somuch Ifocusontheonlypartofanyofthisthatmightmattertohim “Peopledied,Eric I’mhereto makesurenooneelsedoes.”
“Andwhoseideawasitforyoutocomehere?”
“Iwantedtocomeafterthefirstrecall,”Isay.“Idid.Ishouldhave.” Hiseyesnarrow “Whosentyou?”
Andthereitis.ThequestionIhatewiththeanswerthathe’llhate.“Gigi,but ” “Holyfuck,”hegrowls,pushingoffthedeskatthementionofhisgrandmother’sname.“Youshouldhaveleftthatpartout. No toanythingandeverythingshewants,noworever” Ileanonthedesk.“Eric.”
“Don’tlookatmewiththosebigblueeyesandsaymynameandexpectanythingbutanotherorgasm Andifyoucamehere thinkingthefactthatIalreadygaveyouoneinfluencesme,youwerewrong.Icanwant,anddo,whenitcomestofuckingyou, anditchangesnothing”
Mybodyreacts, ragingfor this man, and just plaindefies the level head I’mtryingto have right now. It remembers that orgasm.Remembershishands.Itwantsmore,buthe’stryingtorattlemeandIunderstandwhy.Iknow hispast.Iknow why Gigi is the plague to him Ipushoffthe desk “Idon’tthinkanorgasm, or two since youhad one as well, incase you’ve forgotten influencesyou.I’mjustaskingthatyouhearmeout.”
“Fortherecord,”hesays “Irememberbothorgasmswithcrystalclarity IalsoremembereverythingaboutGigi” “Iknow,andIcouldhave liedandtoldyouImade this decisiononmyown,butIfeel like I’mswimminginlies backat Kingston. Idon’twantthemwithyou, too. Iknow Gigi was horrible to your mother. She told me that. She has regrets over tryingtodenyher,andyou,yourrightfulplaceinthecompany.”
“Myplaceinthecompany?Mymotherwassickandwewerelivinginashitholeofatrailerparkwecouldbarelyafford. I’mprettysureshedidn’tgiveashitaboutmyplaceinthecompany Idamnsuredon’t”Heinhales,seemingtoreinhimselfin beforehefoldshisarmsinfrontofhisbroad,perfectchest,histattoosleevepartiallyexposed.ThetattoosthatIknow tella storythatIamcertainhasalottodowithGigiandhismother “Thatwomandoesn’thaveregrets,”headds “Sayingshedoes isalie.”
“Shewashorribletome,too,butIwaswithherwhenshehadasmallheartattackayearago.Itchangedher.”
“Nothingchangeswhoweareatthecoreandifyoureallybelievethat,thenyou’reasnaiveasyouweresixyearsago.” “Naive?”Irepeat,myvoicelowandcalmwhenIreallywanttopunchhimrightnow.“IguessifIwasnaive,wecanblame mydecisiontogetnakedwithmystepbrotheronmebeingyoungandstupid”It’soutbeforeIcanstopthewordsthatplaceour intimatepastrighthereinthisroom.
Hiseyesdarkenandheat “Whywouldwedothat?Itwasn’tamistake” “Itwasamistake,”Iassurehim,“forabouttendifferentreasonsI’mnotgoingtolist.”
“Themistakewasmethinkingyouweren’toneofthem,”hesaysdryly.
Ifeelthosewordslikeapunch,withguiltIshoveawaybeforehereadsitandme “I’mnotoneofthem,”IsayandIdon’t
havetocutmygazeasI’mcertainheexpects.I’venevermeantthosewordslikeIdonow.“ItoldyouwhyI’mwiththem.The companyisapieceofmyfather,allIhaveleftofhim.”
“Sixyears is a longtime to workwithsomeone you’re notdevoted to,” he muses “And you’re trusted enoughto be their spokespersontome.”
“Theydon’tknowI’mhere,”Isay,tryingnottothinkofthehellthatwillfollowiftheyfindoutorthemanythingsaboutthis pastsixyearsthathecanneverknow.
“Gigiisthem,”hesays “Ifsheknows,theyknow”
“She’sbeenshutout.”
“She’stheprimarystockholder.”
“Whoisn’texactlyingreathealth YourfatherthreatenedtogototheboardtogetherremovedasCEO”
Heroundsthedeskandweturntofaceeachotheranddamnit,hesmellsjustasearthyandperfectasIremember.Andhe’s so bigand overwhelminglymale He’s also had his tongue inall kinds ofplaces and Ineed to notgo there “Whatare you thinking,Harper?”
“Alotofthings,”Isay,andavoidingthepastweshare,Iholdoutmyhands “You’vedonesomuch You’rebrilliant They allknowthat.Weneedyou.”
“WeorGigi?”
“We needyou,butGigisaidtotellyoushe’sbegging Thisisherlife’swork She’sterrifiedoflosingit” Hisbrutalperfectmouthquirks.“I’dalmostbewillingtogotherejusttowatchherbeglikemymotherdidforhelp.” Hismotherwhokilledherself WhatwasIthinkingcominghere?“Thiswasamistake Ishouldhavejusttoldherwe’dfind anotherway.”Itrytoturnawaybuthecatchesmyelbow,heatradiatingupmyarm.Mygazerocketstohisandthatconnection I’dfelttohimsixyearsagoispresentandaccountedfor,thickeningtheairbetweenus. “Ifthere’sanotherway,”hesays,“whycometome?”
“Peopledied,andyou’reagenius, literally.Youalsohaveanunderstandingofthecompany,aconnection,yourfamily.” “Family?Likebeingthestepbrotherwhogaveyouanorgasm?”
“Nowyou’rejustbeinganassholeandyouhavearight.Igetthat,too,butIdidn’tdoanyofthethingstheydidtoyou.LikeI said This was a mistake ForgetIwas here” Ijerkawayfromhimand rushfor the door, feelingas ifmyheartis goingto explodeinmychestontheway.Ireachfortheknob,escapeonlysecondsaway.
Ericissuddenlybehindme,hishandonthedoor,hisbigbodycrowdingmine,soclosethatIcanalmostfeelhisbodyheat. “Tellmewhyyou’rereallyhere.”
Irotatetofacehimandthat’samistake.He’soverwhelminglyrighthere,infrontofme.“Justletmeleave.”
He studies me for several intense beats, that piercingstare so damnprobingand too intelligent “Youhad to know that I wasn’tgoingtohelp.”
“Iknowthat,butIhadtotry People have died ” “Youcameherebecausepeoplehavedied.”
“Ikeepsayingthat.”
“Butit’snoteverything It’snotthewholereason”
“It’sthereasonIwaswillingtocomehereandIknowyoumightnotbelieveme,butconsideringourpast,thiswasn’teasy forme”
“BecauseIleftorbecauseyouregretwhathappenedbetweenus?”
“Doesitmatter?IwasoneofthemtoyouthenandI’moneofthemnow”
Heconsidersmeforseverallongfewbeats.“Iknowthatyouhaveatrustfundfromyourfather.Takeitandrun.Getthehell outnowbecauseyou’reright,evenwatchingfromadistance,andIam,there’saproblematKingston.”
Ihaveafleetingmomentoffearthatheknowsbecausehe’ssomehowinvolved,butIshovethatideaaway He’snotbehind this.Iknowtoomuchaboutwhatreallyishappeningtobelievehe’sbehindthis.“WhatdoyouknowthatIdon’tknow?” “Togetout Igotout Youneedtoaswell”
“Idon’tgetmytrustfunduntilIturnthirty-fiveandmymotherloanedittoyourfather.”
“You’refuckingkiddingme”
“No.No,I’mnot.”
“Thenleave themand come here. I’ll give youa job. Youcanmake your wayjustlike Idid. Unless youdon’ttrustyour abilitytomakeyourownway?”
“Don’tbeanasshole, again.Iwasplanningtoleave.Itoldyourgrandmotherrightbeforeherheartattack.” “Andthatmadeyoufeelguilty?”
“Whatpartofpeople have died doyounotunderstand?HowmanytimescanIsaythatbeforeyoutakeitin?Ican’tjustwalk awayandyourgrandmotherreallyhaschanged.She’sold.Shecan’thandlethisalone.”
Hedoesn’timmediatelyreply.Hejuststandsthere,lookingatme,secondstickingbybeforehisgazesweepsmymouth,his bodysoclosetomybody,andLordhelpme,Ithinkhemightkissme.IthinkIwanthimtokissme,buthedoesn’t.Hepushes
offthedoor.“Thejobofferstands.Safetravels,Harper,becausewebothknowyouwon’tstay.” MylasheslowerwiththerejectionI’vefeltnotoncenowbuttwicewiththisman.Iopenmyeyesandforcemygazetohis. “Thankyoufor seeingme” Iopenthe door and exit, myknees weakas Irushthroughthe offices and towardthe elevator I punchthebuttonandthedoorsopen,allowingmetorushinside,butonceI’mthere,aloneinthecar,realityhitshard. Iam alone Ericisn’tgoingtohelpme
standthereinmyoffice,staringatthedoorway,hotandhard,withthescentofHarper’sperfumeintheair,thememoriesof hernakedandinmyarmsinmymind.Istillcraveher.Ihavealwayscravedher,butwearen’tevenclosetoapossibility. She’sontopoftheKingstonthrone.Iwill never kneel tothatthrone,andyet,shehasstayedwithmeall theseyears.Maybe because she’s onthatthrone Maybebecauseshe’suntouchable Maybebecauseshehasthosedamnbeautifuleyes AllIreally knowisthatmewantingherthisfuckingbadlymakesheraweaknessthateveryKingston,perhapsherincluded,wouldhappily useagainstme
AndwhileIwanttobelieveherintentionsarepure,sixyearsinthefoldsofthatfamilymakesthatadifficultsell.I’dalso liketobelievethatIknowmoreaboutwhat’shappeningatKingstonthanher,whichwouldmakehervisitauthentic.Iscrubmy jawandcrosstomydesk,whereIgrabmybriefcaseandheadforthedoor Ihaveadealtocloseandmoneytomakeforaman whodeserveshissuccess.
By the time I’min a hired car on the way to the bar in Grayson’s apartment building, I’ve replayed every word of that conversationwithHarper tentimes, butIkeep goingbackto Gigi, thatbitchofa womanwho all butensured mymother’s miserabledeath Ihateher atleasttendegrees deeper thanIdomyfather,whoatleastsavedhis punishmentfor me,notmy mother.ThecardropsmeatmydestinationandIwalkinsidetofindGraysoninhisnormalbooth.
Heliftsthebottlehe’sordered,anexpensive-asswhiskeyIwelcomerightaboutnow.“Ithoughtyoumightneedthis.” “Induplicate,”Isay,settlingintotheboothashefillsmyglass
Idownthecontentsandpullacontractfrommybriefcasetogettowork.“Wherewerewe?”
“Wherewerewe?TalkingaboutHarper” “There’snothingtotalkabout.”
“Youdamnnearturneddownthisjobtogobackthereagainandwebothknowitwasoverher” “ThatwaswhenIthoughtshewastoogreentoprotectherself.”Irefill myglass.“She’sbeenwiththemforsixyears.She doesn’tneedherhandheld.”
“Sheknowsthecompany’sintrouble,”heassumes,downinghisowndrink “Sheknows.”
“And?”heprodswhenIoffernothingmore “Youaren’tgoingtoletthisgo,areyou?”
“No,”hesays.“Becausefriendsdon’tletfriendsdealwithshitalone,asyou’veprovenoverandoverbothprofessionally andpersonally.Talktome.”
“Wehaveacontracttodealwith.”
“Thatwe’llhandle”
Iinhaleandletoutabreath.“ShewantsmetogotoDenver.Shewantsmetosavethem.” “Themorher?”
“Both.Mygrandmothersenther.”
“Gigi?”heasks,incredulously.“WhywouldshethinkthatyouwouldeverhelpGigi?”
“Obviously,that’swhyGigisentHarper.Orthewholeclanofthemsenther.”
“Youthinktheyknowyoutwohookedup?”heasks.
“WhenI lookinto her eyes, no, I don’t believe she’d tell themor use me WhenI’mwiththat woman, I’mone hundred percentintoher.Sheseemshonest,sweet,smart,toosmarttobewiththoseassholes.WhenIstepbacklikenow,Iseesixyears ofherwiththem Somethingdoesn’taddup”
“Youalmostwentbacktothemjusttobeapartofafamilyunit,”heremindsme.“Maybesheneedsthatunit.” “Itdoesn’tfeelright.”
“Butshedoes,correct?She’snotoneofthem”
Hisquestioncomesfromunderstanding.He’stheonlypersonItalkto,theonlypersoninthisworldIreallytrust,outsideof afewofmySEALbuddies,andweneverspeak.We’ddieforeachother,andbethereforeachotherwithonephonecall,but theydon’tknowmebeyondbloodandsacrifice Graysondoes HeknowsaboutthemomentIsawheronthatstage Heknows how itaffectedme.Heknowshow Ireasonedthataway,assomeBastard/PrincessheadgameI’dputonmyself.“Sixyears, Grayson,”Irepeat “That’sloyalty,notobligation”
“Butshedoesn’tfeellikeoneofthem,”hepresses.“Youkeepsayingthatforareason,andyouhavethebestinstinctsI’ve everseen”
“Ihaveaheadfornumbers.Ihaveaheadforstatistics.That’snotthis.Ican’ttrustmyinstinctswhenitcomestoawomanI wanttofuck.MaybeIjustwantwhatIdidn’thaveorcan’thave.”
Hestudiesmeforseverallongmoments,notentertainingmymusings
Hegetsrighttothepoint “Youdon’twanttoturnyour backonher.Whatareyougoingtodo?”
“ItoldhertogetoutofthereandIofferedherajob”
“Whichyouknewshe’ddecline,”hecomments,liftinghisglassinmydirection.“Wheredoesthatleaveyouandher?”
“Imadesuresheknowsthedoorisopen Shecanleave”
“Youmeanshecancometoyou.”Heleansforward.“Doyoureallythinksheknowsshecancometoyou?”
“Irepeatedtheoffermorethanonce.”
“Inashortmeetingafterasix-yearwaitforareunion Howdoyouknowanythingaboutherandhermotivesatthispoint?” He taps the table. “Let’s be honest. Let’s get to the meat of this. We both know the state of that company for reasons you probablydon’twanttosharewithHarper Webothknowtherearethingsgoingonthatspelltrouble” “Gettothemeat,Grayson.”
“Howmuchtroubleisthatforher?Issheindanger?Maybeshecan’tgetoutwithoutyourhelp.Maybeshewasafraidtotell youthat,forreasonswecanbothsurmise.Youcouldturnonher.”
“Fuck. Stopalready.”
“Doyoucarewhathappenstoher?” “Ibarelyknowher.”
“Andyetyouneverforgother That’showthisworks It’showitworkedformewithMia Imetheranditwasher Itwas nevergoingtobeanyoneelse.”
It’s not her,Ithink.Itwon’teverbeher.Hejustdoesn’tgetthedynamicbetweenmeandthiswoman.Hecan’t.He’snever beenthebastard.He’sabetterversionofIsaac,theheir,andGraysonisthekingnowthathisfatherisgone.Itapthecontract. “Work.Money. Your money. Now. ”
Hislipsquirk “Ihitabouttennerves,Isee”
“Clauseeight,”Isay,andonceIstarttalking,Idistracthimwithbusiness,evenifmymindisconstantlygoingtoHarper.Is sheindanger? I need help Shesaidthatseveraltimes
I’mstill thinkingaboutthose words whenMia appears bythe table, lookinggorgeous ina pinkdress, her longdarkhair loosearoundhershoulders.“Hello,youtwohandsomemen.”SheslidesintotheboothandkissesGrayson,herhandsettlingon hisjaw “Imissedyou”
Ihavenoideawhatitisaboutthismomentthatgetstome.IseethesetwotogetherallthedamntimeandIneverthinkofme withsomeoneelse,butrightnow,I’mthinkingaboutHarper I’mthinkingaboutmewithHarper “Fuck,”Imurmur,pushingout oftheboothandgrabbingmyphonefrommypocket.
Istepoutside,welcomingthecoldOctobernight,andIdialBlakeWalkerofWalkerSecurity,amanwho’snotonlyaworld class hacker and ex-ATF agent, he and his team, just helped us through another nightmare. I trust them. “Eric,” he greets. “What’sup?”
“KingstonMotors”
“Iknowtheconnectiontoyou,”heofferswithoutprodding.“ImakeitapointofknowingthepeopleI’mworkingwith.” “Good This will gofaster then Findoutwhat’s dirtythere Ifyoucan’tgetreal answers,hackthefinancials withenough detailtoallowmetodissectitall.Lookattheofficers,especiallymyhalf-brotherandfather.” “Whatelse?”
“I’ll email youa listofquestions onmymind ina few minutes. Ineed this to be comprehensive. Take the time youneed. WhatIneednow:findoutifmygrandmotherhadaheartattackaboutayearago.Textmetheinformation.” “Icantell youthatnow”Icanhear himbangingonhis keyboardandIwait,everynerveinmybodyonedge andIknow why.Ineedonelittlepieceofinformationproventobehonest,apebbleoftruththatmightindicatesheisn’tlyingtome. “Yes,”Blakefinallysays “Shedid,infact,haveaheartattack,butshe’snowrecovered” “Harper Evans,” Isay, relieved withhis response butalreadywantingmore. “Ineed to know everythingthere is to know aboutherandtonight.”
“Icangetyouanoverviewtonight.Therestwillhavetobetomorrow.” “Thatworks.”IhangupandGraysonstepsoutsidewithme.
“Youneedtogodealwiththis.”
“Ineedtobehereclosingthisdeal,”Iargue.
“Youare more thancapable of doingboth Close it fromthe road She got to you, thenand now, and this is your blood family.”
“IfIgothere,Iwon’tsavethem I’llfinishthemoff”
“Thenmaybeyouneedtogotohertonightandconvincehertotakethejob.Ornot.Ijustknowthatyoudon’thaveclosure.I feel it I see it Youneed it Go get it, and her, like youget everythingelse youdecide youwant” He doesn’t wait for an answer.Hewalksbackinsidethebar.
I don’t stand there and thinkabout his words. He knows me and he’s right. I need closure, not withmyfamily, but with Harper Ipull myphone backoutand dial Blake “Give me anhour, man,” he says whenhe answers “I’mgood, butIstill requiretime.”
“Harper’sintowntonight Ineedtoknowwhichhotel”
Harper
There’saquoteIreadonce:“I’mjustagoodgirlwithbadhabits.”
That’sme.I’mthatgoodgirlandmakingafoolofmyselfwithmystepbrotherismybadhabit.
Aftercontemplatingtuckingtailandlickingmywoundsonanearlyreturnflighthome,Idecideagainstthatcowardlyaction. I’mgoingto talkto Eric againtomorrow Tonight, I’ll wallow inselfpityvia roomservice and champagne, whenIusually don’tdrink.Ofcourse,champagneisthedrinkofcelebrationandI’mfarfromcelebrating,butI’mimprovisingandturningit intoapitypartydrink
Pityworkswellforme.
I’llwallow,workitoutofmysystem,andwakeupfightingagain.
Andit’sahellofapityparty,consideringI’vebeendumpedbythehottestmanI’veeverknownnotonce,buttwice He’stoo good atgoodbye. I’mtoo good atwantinghim. Ihave letone nightwiththatmanaffectme inlingeringways thatmake no sense
Isitdownontheloveseatinthecorneroftheroomandfillmyglass,sinceIorderedachampagnedinnerbeforeIdecided thatwasabadidea,andrightafterpullingonsweatsandatee;becauseI’mfeelingreally,reallysexytonightafterEricbarely gavemeablink.OncemybubblyisinmyglassandI’msipping,Ithinkabouthow Ericaffectsme.Thatmanmakesmefeel everything,andIdon’tevenknowwhatthatmeans.I’mjustawareineveryphysicalandemotionalwaywhenhe’sintheroom andnooneelsehasdonethattome I’vetriedtomakeithappen I’vedated I’vedatedattractive,powerful,sexymenwhodid absolutelynothingforme.It’sridiculous.IwaswithEriconenightandwedidn’tevenhaverealsex.
Thedoorbellrings,andyes,there’sadoorbellbecausethat’sjusthowtheyrollaroundhere,Iguess Idownmychampagne andstandup,thebuzzoftwoglasseshittingmerathersuddenly.Clearly,IshouldhavewaitedformyfoodbeforeIindulgedin thechampagne Afterall,whathaveIeatentoday?Notmuch Somecashews,Ithink DoesStarbuckscountasameal?
Icross the roomand openthe door, onlyto suckina stunned breathto find Eric standingthere. His jacketand tie gone, sleevesrolledup,hisbrightlycoloredinkthatwasonceupanddownonearmnowonboth.Istareatthatink,intriguedbythe randomdesigns atimepiece,askull,numbers lotsofnumbersandtheheatofhisstarehasmesnappingmygazebacktohis face,thoseblueeyesfixingmeinapiercingstare.
Ican’tbreathe WhydoIreactlikethistothisman?“Ithoughtyouwereroomservice” Thosegorgeouslipsofhisquirk.“Icanbe.”
“Don’tsaythingslikethat.”
Idon’tevenhavetimetoprocesshimmoving,andhe’srighthereinfrontofme,hishandsonmywaist,sendingarushof heatallovermybodyashewalksmeinsidetheroom.Thedoorslamsbehindhim,andsuddenlywe’resoveryalone.“Why wouldn’tIsaythingslikethat,princess?Wehaveunfinishedbusiness Iknowyoufeelit,too”
Myhandflattensonhischestandhisheartthundersbeneathmypalms,andthattellsastory.He’snotascoldasI’dfelthe waswhenIlefthisoffice He’sjustaspresentasIaminthisreunion,justasaffectedbyusbeingtogetheragain,butIdon’t fool myself into thinkingthis means anythingreal, anythinglasting. His desire where I’mconcerned is all about anger and conquestoftheenemyhebelievesmetobe.IcanfeelittomycoreandIdon’tlikeit.Idon’twantit.Itwistawayfromhim andwitharapidpace,placethecoffeetablebetweenmeandhim.
“Howdidyoufindme?”Idemand.
“I’mresourceful,” he says, his voice pure silk “If I wasn’t, youwouldn’t want me, now would you?” He glances at my champagne.“Celebrating?”
“Wallowinginfailure,”Isaybecauseit’strueandIprefer everytruthIcanembrace,plusI’mbuzzing Buzzingmakesthe worldsingwithwords,inmycase,probablytoomany.“AndIcan’tseemtodrinkanythingelse.”
“Icouldhelpyouexpandyourtastes.”
Thereisinnuendointhosewordsthathasmesnappingbackathim “Butyouwon’tbearoundtoexpandmytastes,nowwill
you?”
“Thatdependsonyou.”
“Whatdoesthatmean?Becauseifsleepingwithyouisanegotiationstrategy,Idon’twanttosleepwithyou”
Hemovesthen,soquickly,he’saroundthetableinfrontofme,andIhavenowheretogo.He’sclose,butnottouchingme,so closeIcansmellthatearthyscentofhimagain Hepicksupthebottle,readsthelabelandfillsmyglassbeforedrinking,his mouthnow wheremymouthwasonlyminutesbefore.Hiseyestwinklewithmischiefandsuggestionashesays,“It’sgood,” andthenadds,“forchampagne”Hesetstheglassdown “Andyes,Iwanttofuckyou No,it’snotanegotiation Fuckingyou andgettingfuckedbytheKingstonfamilyarenotsynonymous,evenifthat’syourintent.”
“Ididn’tcomeheretofuckyou,Eric,”Isnap,andnowI’mangry.“Icameforhelp.Justleave,okay?Itoldyou,forgetIwas here”
“Ican’tdothat.”
“Notuntilyoufinishwhatyoustarted?”Ichallenge “Wearen’tdonewitheachother.Ithinkwebothknowthat.”
“We’vebeendoneforsixyears”
“Ifweweredone,Iwouldn’tbehererightnow.You’retheonlyreasonI’mhere.”
Icutmygaze,andI’mbacklivingthatnightImethim,standingonthatstage,staringoutattheaudienceandlookingforhim. “Harper,”hesayssoftly,andwhenhisvoicewashardmomentsbefore,it’sgentlenow Iforcemygazetohis.“Iwentbacktothecottage,hopingyouhadn’treallyleft.”
Hislasheslowerandnowhecutshisgaze,liketheideaofmegoingthereactuallyaffectshim,andwhenhelooksatme,his blueeyesareladenwithemotionsIcan’tread.“Ihadtoleave.”
“Iknow,”Isay,becauseIdo.Hehatesthatplace.Hehatesmeasanextension.HowcanIwantamanthathatesme? Thedoorbellringsagainandit’ssweetreliefandmyescape.“That’smyfood.Youcango.Iknowyouwon’thelp.Iknew almostthemomentIwalkedintothelobbytoday.”
Hestudiesmeamomentandturnstothedoor Myheartsqueezeswithhoweasilyhe’sgoingtoleave,howcertainhissteps, whenIjusttoldmyselfandhimthat’swhatIwant.HeopensthedoorandIhurryaroundthetabletogreetthedeliveryperson. Ericstepsbackandallowsthewomantoenter,andIexpecthimtoexit,buthedoesn’t “Wherewouldyoulikeit?”thewoman asksofthetrayinherhand.
SheasksthisquestionofEric,buthecastsaqueryinglookatme.“Righthere,”Isay,indicatingthecoffeetable.
Thewomansetseverythingupformeandstill,Ericdoesn’tmove.Igivehima“youcango”lookandhereplieswithashort shakeofhishead,asilentno,andthelookinhiseyesispureheat.Icutmygazeandsigntheticketwithageneroustip.The womanhurriestothedoorandthenI’malonewithEricagain Hesaunterstothecouchandsitsdowninfrontofmytray,and whenhetriestoliftit,Ihavenoideawhy,butitsetsmeoff.
Irushforward,sitnexttohimandholddownthelid “Youdon’tgettoknow whatIorderorwhatIlike Youleft You’re goingtoleaveagain.WhoIamandwhatIlikeis not yourbusiness.”Istandup.“Leavenow.”
Hepushestohistoweringheightandfacesme,andI’mimmediatelyawarethatjoininghimonthissideofthetablewasa mistake He’sclose,big,andhesmellsallearthyandperfect Ihaveabouttensecondstohavethatthoughtbeforehedragsme tohim,andmyGod,hefeelsjustasgoodashedidbackthen,andit’stoomuchbutnotenough.“Youkeeptalkingaboutme leaving,”hesays “Why?Becauseyoucan’tbelievethatthebastardcouldwalkawayfromtheprincess?”
Angerflareshardandfast.“I’mgoingtoforgiveyouforsayingthatbecauseIknow how theytreatedyou.Iknow whereit comesfrom,butyoutoldmenottomakeusaboutthem,butyoudid,thenandnow”
“IwaswrongwhenIsaiditwasn’taboutthem.Isawyouuponthatstage,withthem,apartofthem.”
“Really?BecauseIlookedforyouandsawyouleaving.”
“Iwastherejustlongenoughtoseewhoyouare”
“Youdidn’tseemeatall.Yousawwhatyouwantedtoseeandforareallysmartperson,thatwasashallowwayofthinking. Youbarelyknewme Ibarelyknewyou”
“Doyouwant toknowme,Harper?”
“Itdoesn’tmatter,”Isay “You’releavingagain Youwon’thelp Youwon’t ”
“Do you want to know me,Harper?”
“I’mprettysureyou’vealreadyshownmethepartsIneedtoseeandtheydon’tworkforme.”
“IwaspissedwhenIsawyouupthere”
“Iwaspissedwhenyouweregone.”
His hand goes to myjaw and he tilts myface to his “And yethere we are,” he says, his mouthlowering, lips justabove mine,hiswarmbreathteasingmewiththepromiseofakissthatIshouldn’twant.He’sthebastardbyhisownadmissionand we bothknow he revels inlivingup to that title. He’s trouble, but myGod, I have longhungered for another taste of that trouble.
Harper
Eric’smouthclosesdownonmineandit’slikeI’msixyearsinthepast.Justlikethen,I’mawareoftheforbiddenelementof uslikethis,justasI’mawareofthedivide,too,alltooaware,andtrytoresist,Ido.ButIcan’t.Thetasteofhimislikea drugonmytongue,addictive,sweet,andimpossiblenottocrave.Iknowthiswhole“princess”labelisallaboutconquestand division hisconquest,our division Itell myselfthisisn’tgood I know it’s notgood Ican’tbewithamanwhoultimately hatesmeandthatthoughtisadashofcoldwaterontheheatburningbetweenmeandthisman.
Ishoveonhischest “Stop”
“Arewedoingthisagain?”heasks,hisvoicehusky,rough.“BecauseIreallydon’tthinkeitherofuswantedtostopthenand Isureasfuckdon’tnow.”
“How manytimes didyoustandona stage or justbytheir side,Eric? How manytimes inthe years youwere partofthat family?”
“That family?”hechallenges “Youmeanyour family?”
“Webothinheritedthem.Ididn’taskforthem,butyoujudgedmeforstandingonthatstagewhenwebothknowyoudidit, too”
“I’mnotonthatstagewiththemanymore.”
“Youwere.Foryears,youwere.Webothknowyouwere.”
“Andyoustillare”
“No,”Isay.“I’mnot.Mebeingthereisn’taboutthem.Isweartoyou,Eric.It’snot.”
Hisfingersslidebackundermyhair,cuppingmyneckanddraggingmymouthtohis
“Tellmelater”Ibarelyhavetimeto inhalethewarmbreathonmylipsandhe’skissingmeagain,alongstrokeofhistongueagainstmineundoesme,weakensmy knees
“Ineedtotellyounow,”Iwhisperwhenhisteethscrapemylip.“Ineedyoutohearme.”
“Later,”herepeatssoftly,strokingthedampnessfrommylips.“I’lllisten.”
“Youwill?”Ipullbacktolookathim “Promisemeyouwillbecause ” “Iwill,”hesays,hismouthclosingdownonmineandit’spureheatandfire. He’s pureheatandfireandIfeeltheshiftinus, theneedthatpushesuspastfamilyanddivide Thereisnodividerighthere,rightnow Thereisjustmeandhimandanight thatwasneverfinishedbutneedscompletion.Everypartofmeisaliveinawayithasn’tbeensinceIwaslastwiththisman. We are wild, hands touching and tongues tangling, but then suddenly there’s a shift between us again and his hand settles betweenmyshoulderblades,moldingmychesttohischest.
Hislipspartfrommineandour foreheadscometogether,bothofusbreathingheavily,thepastbetweenusagain,somany questionsandunspokenwordsbetweenuswithit,butneitherofuswantsthosethingstomatter Thesilentunderstandingthat later is,infact,better,is there,betweenus.Thatword“later” complicates our alreadycomplicatedconnection,butthere is nothingcomplicated aboutthe fire betweenus now or the sense ofunderstanding We’re alike and yetwe’re different Both pulledintoaworldwedidn’tasktojoin,aworldthatiswhywe’reherenow.
“Eric,” Iwhisper, and notbecause Iwantto breakthe silence, because Ihave this sense thathe’s waitingonme, needing somethingIdon’tunderstand.
His answer is instant, not inwords, but actions. His mouthcloses downonmine, and I feel the snap of tensioninhim; whatever hesitationwas inhimmoments before is gone, and Iwelcome the deep thrustofhis tongue, the press ofhis hand undermyshirt,histouchcaressingovermyribcage.Mybreastsareheavy,heatpoolinglow inmybellywithanticipationof whatcomesnext,andthenhishandisonmynakedbreasts,fingerspluckingmynipple
Hepullsbacktolookatme,thedeepblueofhisstarefleckedwithamberheatscorchingmeinsideandout.Hedragsmytee over my head, tosses it away, and then that smoldering stare of his is raking over my breasts, devouring me in ways that inexplicablynoothermaneverhas Justhim MysexclenchesandwhenIgrabhissleeve,tugginghimtowardme,hedoesn’t
makemewait.
Hisgazecollideswithmine,andthepunchofawarenessandattractionbetweenusstealsmybreathevenashishandreturns tomyneckashedragsmymouthtohis “God,woman,”hesays,hisvoicelow,rough,almostguttural,“whatthehellareyou doingtome?”Andthistimewhenhekissesme,Isensethebarelycagedcontrol,theedgeofhunger clawingathim,andme withhim
Ireachfor the buttons ofhis shirtandheresponds bybackingme upuntil I’magainstsomewall.Idon’tevenknow what wall,andthenhereleasesmejustlongenoughtounbuttonhisshirtandtossit Idon’tplayshy I’vewaitedtoolongforthisto holdback.Myhandsgotohishard,reallyperfectchest,myfingerstwininginthelightbrownhairthere.Especiallythatsexy lineofitthatrunsfromhisbellybutton,beneathhiswaistband.Iwanttolickmywaydownthatpath,butthereissomuchwith thismantoexplore,toexperience,evenasIcontemplatethatjourney,I’mdistractedbyhistattoosandmyhandsmovetohis newink,therightshoulderthatisnowagiantjaguar.
“Iloveyourink,”Idare,andhow canInot I’vethoughtofhisinksomanytimesinthepast,wonderedwhatitall means, wonderedsomuchaboutthisgifted,enigmaticman.
Shadowsflickerinhiseyes,anedgetohismoodnowthatisn’taboutsex,butthattalkwehaven’thad “Doyounow?”
“Yes,”Isay,lookinghimintheeyes.“Whyisthataproblem?Whatjusthappened?BecauseIdoloveit.Verymuch,andI wantto ”
Inever finishthatsentence,Inever gettotell himhow muchIwantmymouthonhis inkandhis bodybefore his cheekis pressedtomine,hislipsatmyear,breathwarmonmyneckashedeclares,“Iwantyounaked”histeethscrapemyearlobe,“in everyway,Harper”
MylipspartonthosewordsthatIdon’tfullyunderstandandonceagain,justlikesixyearsbefore,heturnsmetothewall andforcesmetocatchitwithmyhands.It’sapowerthing,Iknow,anditshouldperhapsbotherme.Hewantstocontrolme,he needs control.It’sabouthimrulingovertheroyalty,andtohim,I’mthatroyaltyandthere’snothingIcandoaboutit.Hefeels likeI’mthegirlonthethronewho’sfuckingbeneathherself.
Heyanksmypantsdownandinsecondsthey’reovermybarefeetandI’mcompletelynaked Hishandsarealloverme,and whenheleansin,hislipsatmyear,hishandsonmybreasts,mybreathhitchesinmythroat.“You’reminenow,princess.All mine Yougetthat,right?There’snoturningbacknow” “Idon’twanttoturnback.”
“Butwillyouregretthisandme?”
“Iregretyouleaving.Thatwasabastardmove.”
Ifeelhimstiffen,andIdon’tcare.It was abastardmove.“Isthatright?”Hepinchesmynipplesasifpunishingmeforthe truth, and Itryto move myhands, butI’mtrapped betweenthatwall and his bigbody, the thickridge ofhis erectionatmy backside.
Hefoldshimselfaroundme,onehandonmyhip,theotheronmybreast
“Youhavemenow,butyoumightregretit,because thisbastardisgoingtoownyoubeforetonightisover.”
