OZZIE
REEDHAWTHORNESECURITY
DANIELLE PAYS
FALLEN TREESPUBLISHING,LLC
Copyright©2024byDaniellePays
Allrightsreserved.
Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedinanyformorbyanyelectronicormechanicalmeans,includinginformationstorageandretrievalsystems,withoutwritten permissionfromtheauthor,exceptfortheuseofbriefquotationsinabookreview CreatedwithVellum
Cover Photography: Furious Fotog/Golden Czermak
Cover Designer: Maria @ Steamy Designs
Editor: Wallflower Edits
Proofreader: Carrie Owens
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter21 Chapter22
Chapter23
Chapter24
Chapter25
Chapter26
Chapter27
Chapter28
Chapter29
Chapter30
Chapter31
Chapter32
Chapter33
Chapter34
Chapter35
Chapter36
Chapter37
Chapter38
Chapter39
Chapter40
Chapter41
Chapter42
Chapter43
Epilogue
OtherbooksbyDaniellePays AbouttheAuthor
PiperMoreau
AssoonasIsetmykeysdown,Igrabmyphoneandturnonthemusic.Ihavethehousetomyselfforafewdayssincemy cousin,Durango,isonanassignment Hedoesnotlikemymusic,butwhenhe’sgone,I’mplayingit Butnottooloud Welive inatypicalrowhouseinBrooklyn,whichmeanswesharethesidewallswithneighbors. OnceIgetthemusicgoing,Ican’thelpbutmovetothebeat.SomethingI’vealwayslovedtodo.
“Iseeyoustillliketodance,”afamiliarvoicesays
IspinaroundandlockeyeswiththemanI’dhopednevertoseeagain.Myex.Hesworehe’dfindmenomatterwhereI went It’sbeenoverayear,andI’dhopedhe’dmovedonwithsomeoneelse “Surprisedtoseeme,love?”
Hisnicknameformecausesmystomachtoroll Iruntothesinkandvomit
“NotthewelcomeIwashopingfor,”hesays.“I’vebeenwatchingyou,andyouareneveralone.Untilnow.” Iturnbackandtakehimin.Insteadofhisusualkemptappearance,hisdarkhairisgreasyandhisclothesarerumpled.
“Notforlong Myroommatewillbehomesoon,andIhaveafriendcomingover” Helaughs.“You’reashitliar.Iwatchedyourcousinleavewithabag.”
Iwipemymouthwithatowel HeknowsIlivewithmycousin Whatelsehasheobserved?Takinginhisclothesandhair, Iwonderhowlonghe’sbeenwatchingme. “Whyareyouhere?Howdidyoufindme?”
Heleansagainstthecounter.“YouknowwhyI’mhere.Itoldyou.I’mtheonlymanforyou.ButI’mnotsosureyou’reas loyal.”
Loyal? I’ve beentooscaredtobe withanyone else It’s one ofthe reasons I’ve putOzzie off Butthis weekend,we are finallygoingtotalkaboutdatingandtalkingtoDurango.I’mready.IreallythoughtIwouldneverseeJohnagain.
“Who is this?” He holds up a photo of Ozzie and me standingoutside the building’s front door, laughing It’s fromlast week.John’sbeenwatchingme,sohe’slikelyawaremycousinwon’tbereturninganytimesoon.
“That’soneofmycousin’scoworkers.”
“Isthisthefriendwho’scomingover?”
“Yes.”
Johngrabs myphone and thenholds itoutto me “Cancel your plans” He moves behind me and watches fromover my shoulder.
IopenmytextstringwithOzzie HowcanIcluehiminthatIneedhimwithJohnrightbehindme?OzziewillbemadifI cancel.IfI’mbrief,he’llwantanswersandhopefullywillcomeover,demandingsome.
Piper: Have to cancel our plans Maybe next time
Iwincebeforesendingit.Aftereverythingwetalkedaboutyesterday,hehastoknowIwouldn’tsendthismessage.Ihope hegetstheclueI’msending.Overthepastyear,we’vegrowntobeclosefriends.ButIwantsomuchmorethanthatfromhim. ButafterwhathappenedwithJohn,Ihaven’tbeenreadytogothereyet
Johntakesmyphoneandputsitintohispocket.Itvibratesseveraltimes,andifIhadtoguess,Ozzieisaskingquestions.
“Sit,”hesaysashenodstoastoolnexttothecounter Isit.MaybeifIcangethimtalking,hewon’thitme.“Howlonghaveyoubeenwatchingme?”
“Longenoughtoknowyoudon’tbelonghere.Here’swhatgoingtohappen.You’regoingtopackabag,thenleaveashort noteforyourcousintellinghimyou’removingbacktoMontana”
“Idon’twanttomovebacktoMontana.”
Idon’tseeitcoming Hesmacksmehard,andIcupmycheek
“Let’sgo.”Hegrabsmywristanddragsmedownthehalltomybedroom.
Heseemstonavigatethisplacelikehe’sbeenherebefore
“Howdidyougetin?” “Doesn’tmatter,”hesays.
Hetossesmeontothebed,thenopensmycloset,wherehefindsmysuitcase Heunzipsitandstartstossinginthingsfrom mydresser.Halfofitendsuponthefloor,buthedoesn’tcare.Heclosesitupandleadsmebacktothekitchen.
“Whereissomepaperandapen?”heasks BeforeIanswer,there’saknockatthedoor.
“Piper?Weneedtotalk”It’sOzzie Ibitebackmysmile Johnpulls agunfromhis waistband.“Getridofhim.Andifyoutrytotell himI’mhereor anythingis wrong,I’ll shoot him.”Hepushesmetowardthefrontdooruntilwebothhearakeyinthelock.
Ozzieismycousin’sbestfriendandhasakeyincaseofanemergency Johnrunsintothediningroomandhidesontheothersideofthewall.“Remember,I’llshoothim.”
Ozziewalksinandstopswhenhespotsmestandinginthekitchen EverytimeIseehim,hetakesmybreathaway Withhis penetratingblueeyesandmopofdark-blondhair,helookslikehejuststeppedoffthesetofamovie.
Nowthosepenetratingeyesarefocusedonme “Youcanceledourplans,”hesays “Why?”
Ifinallymeethisgaze,andmyhearthurts.Thisweekend,weweregoingtodiscussourplansformovingforwardandhow toconvinceDurangonottokillOzziefordatingme.
“I’mnotready”PleaseseethatI’mlying Hishandsgotohiships.“Notready?”Hiseyeslandonmysuitcase,andhisbrowsgoup.“Goingsomewhere?” “Yes”
“Where?” “Montana.”
He’sstaringatme,andIwantsomuchtotellhimJohnisinthenextroom,butIcanseehimoutofthecornerofmyeye, holdinghisgun,readytoshoot.Ozziehastosensesomethingisn’tright.
“PleasetellReedI’msorryforquittingonhim” Hestepscloser.“You’requittingRHS?”
Inod,andatearslipsfrommyeye Pleaseseeit’salie I’velovedmytimeworkingwithOzzieandalltheotherguysat ReedHawthorneSecurity,orRHS,asweallcallit.
“Wereyougoingtotellme?Thatyou’releaving?”
“Iwasgoingtocallyou.”Pleasecatchthat.OnethingheknowsaboutmeisIwillsendatextoveraphonecalleverytime. “Whataboutourconversationyesterday?Wereyouplayinggameswithme?” Ibitemycheektokeepfromsobbing Thepaininhiseyesistoomuch “No,Braxton Iwasconfused I’msorry” Hiseyesnarrow.Inevercallhimbyhisrealname. Insteadofquestioningit,hebacksup,shakinghishead “Ihavetogetoutofhere” Hespinsaround,andIwatchthemanIlovewalkoutthedoor.After he’sgone,Iletthetearsfall.I’venever toldOzzie aboutmyex,andIregretthatnow.
“Goodjob,love Nowwritethatnote”Henowhashisgunaimedatme IwritethenoteasJohninstructs,theentiretimehoping,willing,Ozzietocomeback.Buthedoesn’t. “Grabyoursuitcase,”hesays Ipickitup,andhewrapsonearmaroundmywaistandshovesthebarrelofthegunintomyside.
“Nowlet’sgo I’mparkedablockup” AsIwalkoutofthebuilding,IlookeverywhereforasignofOzzie.Buthe’snotthere.
Toanyonewalkingby,JohnandIprobablylooklikeacouple.There’snoreasonforanyonetostopus.So,Ineedtoend this
Acarbeepsasheusesthefobtounlockit.IfIgetinthatcar,Iwon’tescapehim.It’strashpickupday,andtherearebags pileduponthesidewalk It’salltoosofttouse ButthenIspotit
Hetakesmysuitcase,stepstothetrunk,andputsitin.Whilehisattentionisnotonme,Ireachdownandgrabthediscarded blender Asheturns,IhithisheadashardasIcanwithit Hesways Idropitandrun
“Youbitch!I’llkillyou!”
Ikeeprunning.Thegunfires,butIdon’tslowdown.NotuntilIfeelthefireofpaininmycalf.Myleggivesout,andIgo down Please,someonestophim
IrollontomybackandsitupasJohnrunstome.Helikesmetosuffer,sohelikelywon’tshootagain.Thebulletgrazedmy calf,andthere’salotofblood ButIforcemyselftostandbeforehereachesme OnethingI’velearnedsinceIlefthimisI’mstrongerthanI’drealized,andhewon’tbereadyformethistime. Hereachesformyarm,butIpullitawayintime,andwhilehe’soffguard,Itakehimoffhisfeet.Hegoesdownhardon hisback,andhedropsthegun.Ikickitfartherawaybeforehestandsupagain.
“You’llregretthat,”hesays.
Helungesformeagain,andIknockhimdownagainhardonhisarm.There’sacracksound.
“Ahfuck!Ithinkyoubrokemyarm!”
Doubtful,butheneverdidhaveahightoleranceforpain Hemanagestohoisthimselfupusingthatsupposedlybrokenarm Whenhe’sclose,Idoaroundhousekicktohisface,andhegoesdownathirdtime.Butthistime,hedoesn’tbracehisfall,and hehitshishead
Iwatchandwait,buthe’sunconscious.
“Piper!”
IglanceuptospotOzzierunningtowardus.Hetakesitallin. “Whatthehellisgoingon?”
IpointatJohn “That’smyex,andhewastryingtoforcemebacktoMontanawithhim” Hepullsmeclose.“I’msosorryIwasn’theresooner.Iwassoangry,butasIdrove,Irealizedyouweren’tactingnormal, soIracedback I’msosorryIdidn’tstophim”
IstepbackfromOzzie.“It’sfine.Icantakecareofmyself.” “Iseethat”Hebendsdownandchecksmyleg “Heshotme.”
Ozziestandsupagain,grabshisphonefromhispocket,andthencallsthepolice. Afterthecall,hewrapshisarmsaroundmeagain “Eventhoughyoucantakecareofyourself,Iwanttobethereforyou.I’msosorryIdidn’tpickuponyourcluesfaster.” Iwrapmyarmsaroundhiswaist “I’msorryIdidn’ttellyouaboutJohn It’ssomethingI’vetriedtoforget” Westandthereuntilthepolicearrive.Yes,Johnwilllikelybearrested,butheknowswhereIlive,andhe’snevergoingto stopcomingafterme.WhenDurangohelpedmeleaveMontana,IwentwillinglybecauseI’dnevertoldJohnaboutmycousin. Howthehelldidhefindme?
BRAXTON “OZZIE”Zavala
THE COPS CAME,alongwithanambulance Sincethatassholewasunconscious,themedicsdecidedheneededmoreurgentcare thanPiper,whichleftmetodrivePipertothehospital.She’ssilenttheentireway. Ihavesomanyquestions.Washerexalwaysabusive?Isshestillinlovewithhim?Isthatwhyshekeptputtingmeoffall thistime?
Asfortheex,Iwanttokillhim.ButIcan’t.Whydidn’tDurangotellmeacrazedexmightcomeafterPiper?
Ipullupattheemergencyroomdoor
“Sorry,Igotbloodalloveryourcar,”shesaysassheleansback. Itlookslikeshemightpassout,soIracearoundtohersideandopenthedoor Afterunbucklingherseatbelt,Iliftheroutof thecarandcarryherinside.
“She’sbeenshotintheleg,”Itellthenursebehindthedesk.
“I’llgetagurney”Shewalksthroughthedoorsandcomesbackwithone IlayPiperdown.WhenIfirstsawherwound,itappearedtheskinwasgrazed,butthere’salotofbloodonherleg,andI wonderifit’sdeeperthanIthought “Ozzie,”Pipermumbles.
“You’reintheER.Theyaregoingtopatchupyourleg.”
Shenods,thencloseshereyes.
“Waithere.Ihavesomepaperworkyouneedtofillout,”thenursesaysbeforeshewheelsPiperbackbehindthedoors. Iwanttofollowher,butIcan’t The“some”paperworkturnsouttobealot,andmostofit,Ihavenoideahowtoanswer Durangowouldknow.Damn.Durango.He’sonassignment,andwehaveastrictpolicyofnocommunicationonassignments.It cancauseproblemswithconcentration,anddependingonthemission,thatcouldbedeadly
WhileIcan’tcallDurango,IdocallStormy,andhegivesmetheinsurancenumberstheyneeded.Hesayshe’lltelltheguys whoareintownaboutPiper.IdebatecallingCoff,butthenIremembertheywereheadingoutonvacation. Instead,Isitandwait.Afteranhour,Axelwalksthroughthedoors. Istand,butIhavenowords.Hepullsmeinandgivesmeabearhug. “Howisshe?”
Ishrug.“Ithoughtthebulletgrazedher leg,buttherewas alotofblood.Noonehas talkedtomeyet.”Inodtowardthe doorstotheback
“I’llseewhatIcanfindout,”hesays. Hereturnsamomentlaterandsitsdownnexttome.“She’sstillinsurgery.That’sallthenursecouldtellme.”
“Thanksforasking”
“Noproblem.”
Wesitinsilenceuntiladoctorinscrubswalksoutfromtheback “PiperMoreau?”
AxelandIstandup “Yes”
“She’soutofsurgery.Thebulletnickedaveininherleg,butwegotitallpatchedup.Sheneedsalotofrest,butwiththat, sheshouldbefine.”
“Thankyou,”Axelsays “Canweseeher?”
The doctor nods. “Once she wakes up. But since this was a gunshot wound, we were required to notifythe police. An officerwillbehereshortlytotalktoyou”
“Weknowthedrill,”Axelsays. Thedoctorfrowns
“Weworkinsecurity,”Isayasawayofexplanation.
Thedoctorslowlynodsasshebacksup.“Well,IhopeIdon’teverseeeitherofyoutwoinhere.”Shespinsandreturnsto theback.
Beforewecansitdown,twoofficerswalkintothewaitingroomanduptothefrontdesk Ican’thearwhattheyaresaying, buttheytalkforaminute.Thewomanbehindthedeskpointstous.
One ofthe officers steps up to me “Ineed to askyousome questions Theyhave a roomover here” He leads us to the room.
“Pleasesitdown,”hesays
AxelandIsitdownastheofficerdoes.Thesecondofficerenterstheroomandremainsstanding.
“I’mOfficerAdams,andthisismypartner,OfficerSinclair.Canyoutelluswhathappened?”
Itell himeverythingthathappened and how Ifound Piper ThenIhand himthe card for the officer who arrived onthe scene.He’sexpectingacallfrommetoanswerquestions.
“Didyouseesomeoneshoother?”
Ishakemyhead.“Igotthereafter.Herex,John,hadalreadyshotherandwaslungingforher.” Theofficerglancesattheotherone “Johnwokeupandgavequiteadifferentstory” Ofcoursehedid.
“ThenursereportedMs.Moreaualsohasanastybruiseonhercheek.Canyoutellmehowthatgotthere?” “Johnhither”Imaynothaveseenithappen,butIhavenodoubtthat’swhathappened Theofficerleansback.“Johnsaidyouhither.HealsostateshelungedatyoutoprotectMs.Moreauandthatyouknocked himout”
MyjawclenchesasIbitebackwhatIreallywanttosayaboutJohn.Itwon’thelpmehere.
“Areyouaccusinghimofassault?”Axelasks.
“We’rejustgatheringfactsrightnow,”hesays.
Iglanceupattheotherofficer,whoiswatchingmeclosely.“Whydon’tyouaskPiperwhathappened?”
Thefirstofficerstandsup “That’swhatweplantodo We’llbeintouch” Theybothleavetheroom,andIstandandkickachair.I’mangryatthem,atherex,andhell,alittleatPiperfornottelling meabouthim No,Ican’tbemadather Wearen’tacouple Ihavenorighttoknowaboutherpast Yet “Hey,youallright?”Axelasks.
Ishakemyhead.“Thatassholetriedtokillher,anditsoundsliketheydon’tevenplantodetainhim.Notuntiltheygather theirfacts.Inthemeantime,hecouldcomeafterheragain.”
Axelclosesthedoortheofficersleftopen.“Didyouknockhimout?”
Myfiststightenathisaccusation,buthedidn’tseewhatIdid “No,Piperdid Sheseemssmall,butwhenhelungedather, shespunandkickedhiminthehead.Itknockedhimout.”
Hiseyeswiden “Shedidthatafterbeingshotintheleg?Wow,Ineverknewshewasabadass” Ilaugh.She’ssaidtomeonmorethanoneoccasionthatshe’stougherthanshelooks.Now Iknow whatshemeans.“She reallyis.”
Hegrowsserious “What’sgoingonwithyoutwo?HaveyoutalkedtoDurangoaboutit?”
TheguysintheofficeareallawareofPiper’scrushonmebecauseshedoesn’thideitwell.Andafew oftheguyshave pickeduponhowIfeelaboutheraswell TheyareworriedI’mgoingtofuckupourworkdynamic We’realllikebrothers AndDurangohasmadeitclearnoonemesseswithhiscousin.
“WeweregoingtotalkabouttakingthenextstepsthisweekendandtalktoDurangowhenhegetsback” Axelcrosseshisarms.“Nextsteps?” “Adate.That’sit.”
Henods “Haveyoureallythoughtthisthrough?” Ileanagainstthewall.“It’sallIthinkabout.” “She’ssoyoung AreyoureallyokaywithpossiblyruiningyourfriendshipwithDurangowhenyouarelikelyjustafling forher?”
Hemeanswell,butitstillpissesmeoff
Heholdsuphishands.“I’mnottryingtobeanasshole.” “Areyousure?Becauseyou’redoingagreatjob.”
Hesighs “Youtwoaresodifferent Doessheknowaboutyourhistory?”
Iflopintoachair.Myhistory.TheoneDurangoissoworriedabout.“No,wehaven’taskedabouteachother’spast.That’s whyIdidn’tknowaboutthisasshole”
Axelsitsinanotherchair.“YoushouldtalktoeachotherbeforeyoutalktoDurango.WhatifPiperdoesn’thandleitwell?” Jesus,Isleptaroundabitinmytwenties,yes,butIwasn’touteverynight.“Ididn’tgothatcrazy.” Axelarchesabrow.“I’veheardDurango’sstories.”
“Yeah,well,hemightbeexaggeratingabit.”Heisn’t,butIreallydon’twanttothinkaboutallofthisrightnow.
“All right, butIthinkyoushould discuss it. She’s youngand mightwantto do some ofher ownsexual exploringbefore gettingtieddown,especiallywhenshelearnsyoualreadyhave.”
Theideaofhersexuallyexploringanyonehasmeseeingred Butsodoesthisconversation IchalkituptoAxelnothaving beeninarelationship.Ifhehadbeen,he’drealizewhathe’ssayingtomeisasinine. Hemustsensemyangerbecausehestandsandstepsawayfromme “Let’sseeifPiper’sawake” “Soundsgood.”
Westepoutoftheroomasthetwoofficerscomeoutfromtheback “Ms.Moreau’sstatementmatchesyours,”Adamssays.
“AreyougoingtoarrestJohnWilliams?”
Adamsnods “Likely”Theywalktothedoor “Wait,”Isay.
Theybothturn
“Ifhe’snotincustody,weneedtoknow.Hemightcomeafterheragain.”
Adamsreachesintohispocketandhandsmehiscard “GivemeacallinafewhoursandI’llletyouknow” I’msurprisedbyhischangeindemeanor.Insteadoftreatingmelikeasuspect,he’sbeinghelpful.Well,Ishouldn’tquestion it.“Thankyou.”
Henods,andtheyleave “Shemustbeawakeiftheytalkedtoher,”Axelsays.
Anurseleadsusbacktoabedthatisonlyblockedoffbyacurtain Whenshepullsthecurtainopen,I’mstruckbyPiper’s appearance.Thebruiseonhercheekhasdarkened,anditlookspainful.
AsIstepintoherspace,hereyesmeetmine. “Hi,”shesays.
Itakeherhandinmine.
“Ididn’tmeanwhatIsaid IliedbecauseJohnwasthere” “Iknow.”
“Ireally,reallylikeyou I’msorryI’vebeenholdingback”Sheslursherwordsalittle Theylikelyhaveheronpainkillers,whichmeansshemightsaymorethanshe’dnormallysay,especiallyifshe’slikeher cousin,Durango.AsmuchasIwanttohearwhatshehastosay,Ineedhertobelucidwheneverwediscussthepossibilityof us.
“IsJohninthishospital?”sheasks. Idon’twanttotellher,butheis “Yeah,buthe’snotgoinganywhere He’sinsurgery” Shenods.“So,hecan’tgettomyroom?”
Thefearinhereyesgutsme “No,hecan’t I’llstayhereandmakesureofit” Hereyesgrowheavy.“Thankyou.”Shefallsasleep,andIsimplystareather.
We were goingto talkto Durango whenhe returns aboutus dating. The manhas beenagainstthe idea. Eventhoughwe haven’taskedhimaboutit,hemakesitcleartomeweeklyshe’soff-limits
I don’t understand whyhe’s so against us, but I hope I canchange his mind. WhenI found Piper shot, the first thought throughmymindwasthatIcouldn’tloseher Thesecondthoughtwashow muchtimewe’vewastedtryingtobejustfriends Lifeistooshort,andIdon’twanttowaitanylongertobewiththiswoman.
ONLY ONE NIGHT inthehospitalforagunshotwound Thatsoundsdramatic I’msureifI’dbeenshotsomewheremoreserious, they’dwanttokeepmelonger.I’mthankfultobehomeandevenmorethankfulJohnwasarrested.Butthatdoesn’tstopOzzie frominsistingonstayinghere.Notthatthisishisfirstchoice.
“Seriously,weshouldstayatmyplace Thesecurityatmycondoisgreat” “YousaidJohnwasarrested.We’llbefinehere.”
“Whatifhewasn’therealone?”
I’msittingonthecouchwithmylegupontheottoman.Takingiteasyhasneverbeenmything,soI’mgoingabitstir-crazy. “Hewasalone He’dneverletanyoneelseseethissideofhim Trustme”
Ozziesitsnexttomeandtakesmyhandinhis.“Canyoutellmeabouthim?Howdidyouendupdatingaguylikethat?” Iblowoutabreath.“It’salongstory.”
Hesqueezesmyhand “Ihaveallday”
How do Itell this amazingmanhow Iended up withanasshole like John? Will he understand? “Has Durango told you aboutmyparents?”
Heshakeshishead.“Hehasn’ttoldmeanything.Oneday,hementionedyouweregoingtostaywithhimandattendcollege outhere.”
IgetwhyDurangodoesn’tliketotalkaboutmyparents,hisauntanduncle.Theycouldn’tbemoredifferentfromhisfamily.
“Well,mydadcomesfromawealthyfamily.Hisfatherwasarealestatebroker,andmydadfollowedinhisfootsteps.My parentshavestrongopinionsonhowweshouldbehave”
“You’resayingtheyarestrict?”
Ilaugh “That’sanunderstatement Ihaveanoldersister,Millie Aftershecamebackfromcollege,myparentsintroduced hertotheirfriends’son,Cain.Hewasverycharmingandmovedfast.Onemonthlater,withmyparents’blessing,heandMillie weremarried.”
“Whysofast?”
Thinkingaboutitmakesmesoangry.“Theywantedtomergethefamiliesbeforetheymadesomebusinessannouncement… attheweddingreception Milliehadnoidea,butherhusbanddid” I shift, trying to get more comfortable. “Cain first cheated on her while they were on their honeymoon. And he hasn’t sloweddownsince”
Ozziesitsuptaller.“Whydoesn’tshedivorcehim?”
“Ourparentsdon’tbelieveindivorce.Theytoldherifshelefthim,they’dcutheroutoftheirwill.”
“It’sbettertobehappythantoinheritsomecows,”Ozziesays Ilickmylips.“Myparents’real estate business is more thana few cows.” AlthoughIdon’tblame himfor thinkingthey ownranchland Manyoftheir neighbors do “And Millie has never had a job She wentto school and partied Myparents knowshewon’tdefythem.AndtheythoughtI’dbethesameway.”
Hestiffens “Theysetyouupwithanabuser?”
“No,theyhadnoidea.Johncanbeverycharming.AndIneverpickeduponanythingwronguntilwe’dbeentogetherfora year.”Mymindgoesbacktowheneverythingturned.
“Whathappenedthen?”Ozzieasks
Iglanceupathim,reallynotwantingtosharethis part,buthe has toknow the truth.“ItoldhimIlovedhim.He’dbeen tellingmehelovedmeforsixmonths OnceItoldhim,hesmiled,andwehadagreatday Butthenextdaywasthefirsttimehe hitme.”
Ozziestandsup “Hewaiteduntilhethoughthehadyoutrappedsomehow”
“Yes.Hetoldmyparentswewereinlove,andheplannedtopropose.Myparentswerehappyandstartedtalkingaboutthe
wedding,eventhoughtherehadbeennoproposalyet”
Heturnstome.“Didhepropose?Didyousayyes?”
Ishakemyhead “Hedidn’tgetachanceto,andIneverwouldhavesaidyes Afterhehitme,Ihadtogetawayfromhim I justdidn’tknowhow.That’swhenIspoketomysisterandfoundoutwhatallshehadbeendealingwith.”
Iscoottotheedgeofthecouchtostandup
“Don’tgetup.Whatdoyouneed?”Ozzieasks.
“Water,please”
Hegoesintothekitchen,andIresettleonthecouch.ThedoctordidtellmeIshouldrestandusemylegaslittleaspossible forthenextfewdays.Thatwon’tbeeasyforme.
Ozziereturnswiththewater
“Thankyou.”Idrinkhalfofitdown.“Mysistercouldn’thelpme;thatwasclear.Ididtalktomymomandtoldherwhat happenedwithJohn,thathehadhitme ShetoldmeImusthavemisunderstood Hewasprobablybeingplayful”Tearsrushto myeyesatthememory,butIwipethemaway.
Ozziesitsnexttomeandtakesmyfreehandinhis
“ItriedtoputoffseeingJohn,tellinghimIhadtoomuchhomework.Iwastakinganextraclassthatterm.Butmyfamily hostedapartythatnextweekendandtherewasnogettingoutofthat.Johnwasonhisbestbehavior,andIthoughteverything wouldbeallright”
Ifinishthewaterandsetthecupdown.“Attheendofthenight,itwasjustthetwoofusinmyoldbedroom.HethoughtI hadlookedatanotherman,sohepunchedme hard inthestomach Thenhehitmeintheface Finally,hestormedout,andI lockedthedoorbehindhim.Thenextmorning,Ihadablackeye.JohntoldmyparentsIranintoadoor.Theydidn’tquestion it.”
“Jesus,I’msosorry,”Ozziesays.
“Durangowasthere,attheparty.Thenextmorning,Iwentforawalkaroundtheranchandranintohim.He’dbeenjogging. Hetookonelookatmyfaceandaskedwhodidit Ibrokedownandtoldhimeverything” I’llneverforgetthelookonDurango’sfacewhenIspilledmyguts.Itwasamixofsympathyandrage.
“Heescortedmetomyroom,whereIpacked Hegrabbedhisbag,andweleft HedrovemeallthewaybacktoNewYork andtoldmeIcouldstayaslongasIwanted.Heevenhelpedgetmycollegecreditstransferred.”
Ozzieblowsoutabreath.“That’swhyhe’ssoprotectiveofyou.”
Inod. “Ithinkso. He also enrolled me ina self-defense class. I’mforever thankful to himfor thatbecause that’s how I managedtogetawayfromJohn.”
“I’mthankfultohimtoo”Herubsmyback “Whathappenedwithyourparents?Withyouleaving,Imean” Itakeadeepbreath.“Theywereangryandtriedtotalkmeintocomingback.Durangospoketothemaboutmyblackeye, buttheysimplysuggestedcouplescounseling DurangosaidIwasn’tcomingback” “Goodforhim.”
“Thenmyparentsgavemeanultimatum comebackandworkthingsout,ortheywerecuttingmeoff.” “Fuck,thatissomessedup I’msorry,Piper Whydidtheywantyouwiththatasshole?” Iwipemyeyes.Ozzieholdsupatissueboxinfrontofme.
“Thankyou Theyneversaidwhy,butI’msureit’srelatedtotheircompany Italwaysiswiththem” “Yourparentstreatedyouandyoursisterlikebusinessassetsinsteadoffamily,”hesays. Iblowmynose “Yes”Thereisn’treallymoretosay NowheknowswhyI’mhere “Piper?”
Iglanceupintohisblueeyes.God,Icouldgetlostjustlookingintothem. “Isthiswhyyou’vebeenhesitantforustomoveforward?”
Inod,sendingtearsdownmycheeks.“You’reagoodman.ButJohnseemedlikeagoodmantoo.Foralongtime.” He moves closer and puts his hand on my thigh “You have to understand I would never hurt you Ever Your cousin wouldn’tevenletmegetthisclosetoyouifhethoughtIwascapable.”
“Deepdown,Ido ButJohnreallydidfooleveryone,andit’sgoingtotaketimeformetotrust ButIwantto” He pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me. “We cango as slow as youneed. But we do need to talkto Durangofirst.Iwon’tdateyoubehindhisback.”
Inuzzleintohischest Hisstrongchest I’veonlyfelthimthroughhisclotheswithhugsandafewcuddles Itonlymakesme wanttoseehimwithoutclothes.ButIpushthatthoughtawaybecausehe’sright;weneedtogoslow.Idon’twanttoblowup hisfriendshipwithmycousinonlytofindoutwe’renotlong-termmaterial
Herubshishandupanddownmyback,andIclosemyeyes.Avisionofussittinglikethiswithourkidsrunningaroundthe roomfloodsmymind.Ijerkup.
“What’swrong?”
Ismile.“Nothing.”Isettlebackin.“What’syourfamilylike?”
Hesighsdeeply.“Notgreat,butnotasbadasyours.” Inodintohischest.
“Sorry,Ishouldn’tinsultthem I’mangrywithwhattheydid,”hesays “Igetit.Doyouwanttotellmeaboutyourfamily?”
“I’manonlychild,butIhavealotofcousins,soitneverfeltthatwaygrowingup EverythingwasfineuntilIgotintohigh school.MyparentsalwayspushedmetodoaswellaspossiblesoIcouldgetintotheiralmamater.”
Ileanupandstareintohiseyes “Wherewasthat?” “Yale.”
Iblinkafewtimes.“YourparentswenttoYale?”
He nods “Like your family, they came frommoney My dad expected me to go to Yale and take a role in the family business.TheproblemwasIhadnointerest.Itriedtotellhim,buthe’dwaveitoff.”
Heswallows “Mygradesweren’tgoodenoughtogetintoYale Myparentshiredtutorsandkeptpushingme Ifoundout mysenioryearthattheyhadappliedformebecauseI’drefused.Somehow,despitemygrades,Iwasaccepted.”
“That’samazing,”Isay
Heshrugs.“I’mprettysureithadmoretodowithmyparents’contributiontotheschoolthananythinginmyapplication.” He frowns. “WhenI told myparents I didn’t want to go, theydidn’t talkto me for a week. Theysaid I was beingstupid, throwingawayanopportunitylikethat”
“Youenlistedinstead?”
He nods “Itwas somethingIhad wanted to do since Iwas fourteen Itried to tell myparents, buttheywouldn’tlisten Whentheyfoundout,theywerefurious.Mymomfinallycamearoundandcalledme,apologizingforherharshreaction.Butto thisday,mydadisstillangryaboutit.”
“ButyouwereaSEAL.Hemustbeproudofthat.”
Ozzieshakeshishead.“He’snot.Hedidenduprecruitingafewofmycousinstohelpwiththebusiness.AndIdon’tknow whathetoldthem,butthey’veallgrowndistant IstillgohomeforChristmastoseemymom,butmydadandcousinsavoidme asmuchaspossible.It’sarealgoodtime.”
Iwrapmyarmsaroundhisneckandhughimtight “I’msosorry”
“That’swhyDurango’sfriendshipissoimportanttome.HeandCoffandAxelarelikebrothers.Theyhavebeenforyears. Theyarereallymyfamilynow,andIcan’tlosethem.”
Inod into his shoulder. “Igetthat. And youwon’tlose him. We’ll find a wayto make himcome around and see we are adultsmakinganinformeddecisionthathecan’targuewith.
Ozzielaughs “Haveyoumetyourcousin?
He’sright.Durangowillbeahardsell.Butthishastoworkout.EverythingtellsmeOzzie’smyone.
AFTER PIPER TOLD meallaboutherparents,Iwassoangryitwashardtositstill Thensheaskedmeaboutmine,andwhile it’s notsomethingIlike talkingabout, itwas easywithher. As we continued to talk, she yawned. She’s beenasleep onthe couchfor acoupleofhourswhileI’vebeenwatchingoldtelevisionshows,tryingtotakemymindoffofeverything.It’snot working
“Hey,”shesaysfromthecouch.“Whattimeisit?” “Almostdinnertime Icancallfordelivery” Shepushesherselfupandyawns.“Okay.” “Whatdoyouwant?”
Sheshrugs.“Surpriseme.”
Ichuckle.She’shungoutwithmeatmyplaceonafewoccasions,andifIgrabdinnerorhaveitdelivered,shealwayssays surpriseme Sofar,she’slikedeverythingI’vepicked “Okay,Iwill” Istepintothe kitchenandcall inthe order.ThenIfill a cupofwater andgraba couple ofibuprofentablets.She hasn’t askedforthemyet,butshe’soverdue,andI’msureshe’sinpain AsIwalkbacktothelivingroom,she’swincing. “Hey,couldyougetmesome ” “Gotitrighthere,”IsayasIseteverythingdown. Shetakesthepills.“Thankyou.Mylegreallyhurts.” “Doyouwantmetofillyourprescription?”
Sheshakesherhead.Thedoctorprescribedherstrongerpainpills,butshesaidshewon’ttakethem. “Itoldyoutheywillknockmeout,andIwanttobeawareofwhat’sgoingon” Isitnexttoher.“Piper,you’resafe.I’mhere,andIwon’tletanythinghappentoyou.” Isuspectthisistherealreasonshewon’ttakethosepills.She’safraidJohniscomingback. “Thankyou. ButI’d still rather nottake anythingthatstrong.” She finishes her water and sets the glass down. “Canyou checkandseeifJohnhasbeentransferredtojailyet?”
“Sure”ItakeherglassbacktothekitchenandcallmycontactwiththeNYPD Bythetimehefiguresoutwhatisgoingon andcallsmeback,thefoodarrives.Iendthecall,shakingmyheadasIunpackthefood. “What?”sheasks
“He’sstillinthehospital.Thedoctorwantstokeephimonemorenightasaprecaution.” Igotothekitchentogetusplatesandforks,butwhenIcomeback,Piperhasalreadydugintothecontainerofravioli. Shegrins “Sorry Iwastoohungrytowait” “Doesn’tbotherme.”
Shesetsthecontainerdown “Really?ThatwouldreallybotherDurango” “Yes, butDurango is your cousin. Idon’tcare ifyoudouble dip because Iwantmyselfinyour mouth.” The momentthe wordsareout,IrealizewhatI’vesaid “Shit,Ishouldn’thavesaidthat ImeantIreallywanttokissyou,sothisdoesn’tbother me.”IavoidhereyesbecausenowIfeellikeanasshole.
“I’vefantasizedaboutgoingdownonyou,”shesays. Danger!Danger!Damn,nowI’mhalf-hard “Uh,weprobablyshouldn’ttalkaboutthat” Shesighs.“Igetit.WeneedtotalktoDurangofirst.”
Imeethereyes “Yes That’sveryimportanttome”
“Igetit.Assoonashereturnsfromhisassignment,we’lltalktohim.”Shereachesoverandsqueezesmyhand.“Doyou haveanyideahowlonghewillbegone?”Sheletsgoofmyfingersandfillsherplatewithafewravioliandasliceoflasagna Iorderedalotoffood,butitwillbegoodtohaveleftoverstomorrow.
Ozzie
“Noidea.”Staringatherplate,IrealizeIorderedallmaindishes.“Damn,Ishouldhavegottenasalad.I’msorry.”
“No,thisisexactlywhatIwascraving.Wecanhavesaladstomorrow.”
Wefinisheatingandwatchacoupleofmovies Piperyawnsseveraltimes “Youneedsleep,”Isay.
Hereyeswiden “Areyouleaving?”
“No.I’mstayinghere.”IwishIhadachangeofclothes,butI’llmakedo. “Willyousleepinmybedwithme?”
AndI’mhalf-hardagain.“That’snotagoodidea.I’llsleepinDurango’sroom.”
I help her get readyand tuckher in. She’s out before I evenclose the door. I get readyfor bed and strip downto my underwearbeforecrawlingintoDurango’sbed
EventhoughJohnshouldbetransferredtothejailtomorrow,Ireallydon’twanttoleavePiperalone.Hopefully,Reedwill understand IcanrunintotheofficequicklyandgrabalaptopsoIcanwriteupmylatestreporthere Isetmyalarmanddriftofftosleep.
Thenextmorning,IwakelongbeforePiper,soIheadtothekitchentostartapotofcoffeebeforeIgrabashower
The sound of crutches coming down the hall tells me I didn’t plan this well. Piper comes into the kitchen to find me standinginmyunderwear.Hereyeswidenastheyslowlymovedownmybodyandbackup.Herlipscurlup.
“Icouldtellyouweremuscularunderyourshirt,butOzzie,wow”Shecomescloser,andtheheatinhereyesturnsmeon, butinboxerbriefs,thatwillbecomeobviousfast,soIgrabatowelfromthecounterandholditinfrontofme.
Shearchesabrow “Noneedtohide Iwanttosee”
Andit’satthatmoment,hercousin,Durango,walksinthefrontdoor.Fromwherehestands,hecanseemealmostnaked andhiscousinstandingtooclose.Hestormstowardus.
Iholdupmyhands,forgettingwhyIwasholdingthemlower.“It’snotwhatyouthink!” Durango’seyesspotmynowhalf-hard-on.Hismurderousgazelandsonme.“I’mgoingtokillyou!”
“Durango!”Piperyells “Nothinghappened!”
“Itsureashelllookslikeitwasaboutto!”Helungesforme,butIduckbackoutoftheway. Igetontheothersideoftheisland,butthatdoesn’tstophim Hechasesme,andIrunoutthedoor OnceIrealizemymistake,Iturnback,butDurangoisthereandheslamsthedoorshutbeforeIcangetbackin.Thenthe deadboltengages.Helockedmeout.
Ibangonthe door. “Durango!Come on, man. Youcan’t leave me out here inonlyunderwear.” Seriously, mykeys and walletareinhisbedroom.
Heclearlyneedstimetocalmdown,soIplopdownonthestepsoutsidethedoor,hopingit’snottoomuchtime Inside,there’sshouting.MostlyPiper.
TwowomenjogbyandstareasIsitthere,tryingtolookcasual Thestreetgrowsmorecrowdedasmorepeoplewakeup ButIsitthereforwhatseemslikethirtyminutes.Finally,Piperstopsyelling,andIcanonlyhopesomeonewillbringmemy pants.
“Toldyouthiswouldn’tgowell,”Axelsaysashewalksup
Great.ThelastthingIneedarewitnessestomyhumiliation.“Whatbringsyouby?”
Hegrins “PipertextedandsaidDurangowasnotbeingunderstanding FiguredI’dstophimbeforehekillsyou”Henods tomybarechest.“Youtwoofficialnow?”
Isigh “Nothinghappened!Shesleptinherroom,andIsleptinDurango’s” Axelscruncheshisfaceindisgust.“YousleptinDurango’sbed?” Ishrug.“Itwasbetterthanthecouch.”
Axelchewshislip “Youseriousaboutnothinghappening?”
“Yes.Iwenttothekitchentomakesomecoffeebeforetakingashower.Pipermusthaveheardmebecauseshecameinto thekitchen Durangowalkedinonitallanddrewconclusions”
Thedooropens,andPiperstandsthere.ShespotsAxel.“Thanksforcoming.Ozzie,youcancomeinandgetdressed.” “Maybeyoucouldbringmythingshere”
Axelslapsmeontheback.“Herneighborshavehadenoughofashow.Comeon.I’llgofirst.” Hestepsintothehouse.Ifollow.Durangoissittingatthekitchentable,glaring. “Sheswearsnothinghappened,butIneedtohearitfromyou”Hiseyesboreintome “Nothinghappened!Isleptinyourbedandthengotuptomakecoffeebeforemyshower.That’sit.”
Durangofrowns “Yousleptinmybed?” “Jesus!Whatiswitheveryone?” “Well,itiskindofpersonal,”Axelsays.
Durangostandsup,andItenseatwhat’scoming.“Look,I’msorryIjumpedtoconclusions.WhenIaskedyoutokeepan eyeonherwhileIwasgone,Ididn’tmeanyouneededtostayhere.AndIcertainlydon’twantyouwalkingaroundhereinyour
underweareveragain.Now,goputonsomepants.”
Beforehechangeshismind,Irushtohisbedroomandgetdressed.WhenIreturntothekitchen,allthreeofthemaresitting atthetable PiperlooksmiserableasDurangoandAxeljokeaboutsomething PipermustnothavetoldhercousinaboutJohnyetbecausehewouldn’tbesmilingifshehad.WhateverAxelhassaid,he seemstohavechangedDurango’smoodcompletely Maybehecouldbeamediatorforus Idecidethisisthebesttimetobring updatingPiper.BeforeshetellsDurangoaboutJohn.
“Durango,there’ssomethingPiperandIwantedtotalktoyouabout,”IsayasIsitinthelastchair Pipersitsupstraighter.“Igotbloodalloverhiscarandcan’taffordtohaveitcleaned.CanIborrowmoneyfromyou?” Durango looks atme, and that’s whenPiper shakes her head. As muchas Idon’tlike goingwithher lie, Idon’thave a choice
“Hey,Itoldyounottoworryaboutthat.I’lltakecareofit.”
Durango’sgrindrops “Howdidshegetbloodalloveryourcar?”
ShetellshimaboutJohntryingtokidnapherandhowshefoughthimoff.ThenabouttheambulanceprioritizingJohn. “Whatthefuck?”Durangoasks “ThemedicsthoughtJohnwasahigherprioritythanagunshot?”
“Theythoughthemighthaveabrainbleedorsomething,”Pipersays. “That’s whyItookher to the hospital inmycar,” Isay. “And no one needs to worryaboutthe blood. Whatyouneed to worryabout,Piper,ishealingfast”
Iturnto Durango. “And we need to keep aneye onJohn. He’s inthe hospital butbeingreleased and transferred to jail sometimetoday”
Durangoleansbackandshakeshishead.“Ihopeso,buthisfamilyisprettywellconnected.I’mgladI’mhomenow.Thank Goditwasashortassignment.IwishIhadknown.Iwouldn’thavejumpedtoconclusionsaboutyoutwo.” Istiflemychuckle.Hestillwouldhavejumped.
Axelleansforward.“You’reprotectiveofyourcousin,butwoulditreallybesobadifsheendedupwithoneofus?”
Ifreeze,waitingforDurango’sanswer
Hestaresatthetable,thenupatAxel.“Yeah,itwould.Byoneofus,youmeanyouorOzziebecauseyouaretheonlyother singleguys Bothofyouaretoooldforher AndI’vebeenOzzie’swingmanplentyoftimes He’saplayer” Piper’seyesareglassyasshestrugglestohideheremotions.
“Huh.Idon’tthinkOzzie’seventriedtopickupawomaninoverayear.”
I’llhavetothankAxelfortryinglater.Whilehe’sworriedaboutmegettinghurtbyPiper,he’sstillgoingtobatforme. “Howthehellwouldyouknowifhepickedupawomanlately?”Durangoasks.
Axelgrins “Becausewhenevereitherofusgetsfreetime,weplayMortal Kombat, andbasedonhisstanding,that’sabout allhe’sbeendoing.”
Durangorollshiseyes “Ineedsomesleep Youtwocango Piperwillbesafewithme I’llcheckonJohn’swhereabouts latertoday.”
Hewalksbacktohisbedroom,grumblingabouthavingtochangethesheets.Oncehe’soutofearshot,Istandup.
“Thanksfortrying,Axel”
Hestandstoo.“Yeah,I’mnotsureanythingisgoingtogethimtochangehismindaboutyou.” I’mafraidhemightberight
AFTER DURANGO’S tantrumearlierand,yes,I’mcallingitatantrum,Ispendmostofthemorningupsetandaloneinmyroom Theupsetturnstoanger.AngerthatDurangothinkshecancontrolme.Imightbeyoung,butI’manadultandwilldatewhoever thehellIwant.
AndIplantomakethatverycleartomycousin I’mtheonepursuingOzzie,sohehasnoneedtoworryabouthisfriend’s intentions.Oncemycousinisoffthephone,Iplantotellhimallofthat.
ButIdon’tgetthechance Heendshiscallandisclearlyunhappy “What’swrong?”
Hetosseshisphoneontothekitchentable “John’sbeenreleased” Imusthaveheardhimwrong.“That’snotpossible.Heshotme.He’sadangertome.Theywouldn’treleasehim.”
Durangomeetsmyeyes,anddeepdown,IknowJohnisgoingtogetawaywithwhathe’sdone.What’sworseishe’llcome aftermeagain There’snodoubthewill Hemeantit hebelievesIbelongtohim
“Hisfamilyhiredsomefancyattorneywhonotonlygotbeforeajudgefirstthingthismorningbutalsoarguedtheydidn’t haveenoughevidencetoholdhim Andthejudgeagreed”
OfcourseJohnhasagreatattorneyandwaslikelythefirstcaseseenthismorning.“Well,hisparentsandtheirwalletare fullysupportinghim.”
Durangoshakeshishead.“Hisfamilywon’tbeabletobuyhiswayoutofthisone.”
Idon’trespondbecauseI’veseenitmanytimesoverinmyhometown.IguessI’dhopedthingswouldbedifferentinNew York
“Hey,” Durango says as his hand goes to myshoulder. “We’ll figure this out, all right? Thatasshole won’tgetnear you again”
Inod,wantingtobelievehim,butIknowJohn.He’llkeepcomingafterme. Durangositsinachairnexttome.“Weshouldgosomewhere,takeavacation.” Ilaugh.“DidyouforgetI’musingcrutches?”AlthoughI’llbeoffofthemlaterthisweek. Hefrowns.“Oh,yeah.”Hisfingerstapthetableashethinks.“Igotit!WecangotoLightning’scabin.Itwouldbebetter thansittinghere,waitingforJohntocomearound”
Hedoeshaveapoint.AnystrangesoundIhear,I’llwonderifit’sJohncomingback. “I’dlikethat Howlongwouldwestay?”
Heshrugs.“Let’spackforafewdaysandplayitbyear.”
Igointomyroomandfindmysuitcase,whichstillhasrandomitemsinitfromJohn’sattempttohaulmeofftoMontana.I dumpitoutonmybedandrepackitwithwhatIactuallywillneed AsIzipitup,Durangostickshisheadinmyroom.“I’llgrabthatforyou.”
Hecarriesittothefrontdoorandsetsitnexttohisdufflebag “Weshouldgetsomesnackstoo”
Whilehe’sdoingthat,IsendOzzieatexttellinghimwherewearegoingsohedoesn’tstopbylaterandwonder.
“Let’sgo”Durangograbsmysuitcase,hisbag,andthebagofsnackshe’dpacked Therideupis quiet,andI’mlostinmythoughts.Tonight,I’ll tell DurangoI’mgoingtodateOzzie,andthat’s final.Yes, he’llbemad,butI’veputmylifeonholdlongenough.
No,itwasn’tonholdduetomycousin Thatwasallme NowthatI’mreadytomoveforward,Idon’twantanythinginmy way,eventhoughIdohaveacrazedex-boyfriendandagunshotwoundcurrentlyslowingmedown.
The familiar cabincomes into view, and Durango parks infront of the house It’s late bythe time we arrive Durango instructsmetositonthecouchwhilehebringsinourbags.
Oncehe’sdone,hesitsbesideme Iyawn.“I’dliketogotosleep.Sorryforcrashingonyousoearly.”
Hestretcheshisarmsoverhisheadandyawns.“That’sfine.I’mtiredtoo.I’llgomakeupthebeds.”
Whilehedoesthat,Ichangeintomypajamas.Icrawlintobed,andit’sheaven.Thesheetsaresosoft.Idriftoffquickly.
Thenextmorning,Iwakeupearly Igotothelivingroomandsitinachairwithaviewofthelake Thesunisoutgiving the illusionit’s warmer thanitreallyis inJanuary. Partofme wants to go downto the lake butwithJohnlookingfor me, I probablyshouldn’tgooutside
Durangowalksthrough.“Oh,hey,you’reup.I’mgoingtohavegroceriesdeliveredsowedon’thavetogoout.”
Inod and turnbackto the lake This is what Iwant someday: a house ona lake awayfromthe citywhere Icanrelax Suddenly, I’mstruckwithanidea. Ifind mysuitcase and grab the notebookand pencil. It’s somethingIalways pack, even thoughIhaven’tuseditinacoupleofyears.
Butthetuneinmyheadwon’tstop Ireturntothechair,jotdownthenotes,andhumalong “Piper,”Durangosays.
Iglanceuptoseehimsmiling
“You’rewritingmusicagain?”
Iusedtojotdowntunes andwrite lyrics all the time Ievensangsome atthe countyfair backhome inMontana Once I begandatingJohn,Ilostinspiration.Iguessthatshouldhavebeenasign.ButitwasallsogradualIdidn’tnotice.It’sbeentwo yearssinceI’vewrittenanything.
“Iam Thisplaceisgoodforme Itinspiresme”Iturnmyattentionbacktothejournalandkeepwriting AcrashfromabackroomtearsmefromwhatI’mdoing.
“Dammit!”Durangoshouts
“Youallright?”
“Yeah,Iwill be.”Hestepsoutofthehallwayandintothelivingroom,holdinganacousticguitar.“Lightningtoldmehe hadthisinthebackroom.HefailedtomentiontheboxeshehadpiledupintherewereasstructurallysoundasaJengapileat theendofagame.”
Itaketheguitar “Thankyou”Istrumafewtimesanddiscoverit’soutoftune,butI’mabletotuneitbyear ThenIplaythe songI’vebeenworkingon.
“That’sbeautiful”
“WaittillIgetsomelyricsforit.”
Someoneknocksonthedoor,andIjump. “Itshouldbethegroceries.Stayhere,”hesays.Hechecks thewindow beforeheopens thedoor.“How thehell didyou knowwewerehere?”
Ozziewalksin,andsuddenly,mydayisbrighter
“Pipertextedme.”Hespotsmeandwalksover.“How’syourleg?”Hekneelsdown,staringatmyleg.Thereisn’tmuchto seeotherthanthebandage “Itstillhurts.”
Hestands.“Areyoutakingibuprofeneveryfourhours?”
Ishakemyhead “Iforgottopackit”
Hegrins,thenpullsabottleoutofhiscoatpocket.“Figuredyoumight.Here.”Hehandsittome. Istareupatthisman,amazed “HowcouldyouknowIwouldforgetit?Didyoustopandbuysome?” Hesitsonthecouchafewfeetfromme.“Youwereinarushtoleave,andIfiguredyouwouldforget.AndIgrabbedthat fromtheoffice,soIdoowethemabottle”
Durangoisstillstandingnearthedoor,watchinguswithhisarmscrossed. “Thankyou.”Iopenthebottle. Ozziestandsandgoestothekitchen Hecomesbackwithacupofwater,andItakethepills “Youplay?”Henodstothe guitar.
“Ido,butmyrealpassioniswritingmusic” “HowdoInotknowthis?”
“ProbablybecauseIhaven’tdoneitfortwoyears Somethingaboutthisplaceinspiresme” OzzieandIstareateachother,grinning. “Ihadn’trealizedhowfriendlyyoutwohadbecome,”Durangosaysashewalkstothecouch. Ismileupathim “Yeah,Ozzieisagreatguy” There’sanotherknockatthedoor.“Now that shouldbethegroceries.”Durangogoestoretrievethem. “Howlongcanyoustay?”IaskOzzie HeglancesatDurango.“Probablynotlong.Iwantedtomakesureyouwereokay.” “Hey,Oz,helpmeinthekitchen,”Durangosaysashecarriesthebagsthatway. Ozziefollowshim,andwhileIcanhearthattheyaretalking,Ican’tmakeoutwhattheyaresaying.Mycousiniskeeping hisvoicelow,whichmeanshe’slikelytalkingaboutme.
Itrytofocusonmymusicagain,butIcan’t.
Theybothemerge fromthe kitchen. Ozzie scratches the backofhis neck. “I’mgoingto head out. Ifeither ofyouneeds anything,callme”
“Headout?”Istandupandgrabthecrutches.“Youjustgothere.”
OzzieglancesatDurango “Yeah,Iwantedtocheckonyou”
Imovecloser,hopingtohughimgoodbye,butbeforeIgettooclose,hebacksuptothedoor.“I’llseeyoutwolater.”And thenhe’sgone
“Youhungry?”Durangoasksasheturnsandgoesbacktothekitchen.
Ifollowhimandsitonabarstoolatthekitchenisland.“Whatthehelldidyousaytohim?”
Heavoids myeyes as hewashes acantaloupe “Wewereonlycatchingup That’s all”Hemoves toacuttingboardand cutsthemeloninhalf.
“Bullshit”
Now,hiseyesmeetmine.
“Look,I’mwellawarethatyouhaveacrushonOzzie Hell,theentireofficeisawareofit Youdon’thideitwell Buthe’s nottheguyforyou.Trustme.”
“It’smorethanacrush.HeandIhavearealconnection,andyou’regoingtohavetolearntolivewithit.Ireallycarefor himandplantodatehim”
Durangosetstheknifedown,takesastepback,butleansagainstthecounter.“Nothim.Findsomeoneelse.” “No”
Whenhelooksup,angergreetsme.“Hassomethinghappenedbetweenyoutwo?”
Well,I’mangrytoo.“No.Hewon’ttouchmeunlesshehasyourapproval.”
Durangostraightensupandnods.“Well,heisn’tgettingit.”
“Whatisyourproblemwithhim?WouldyoufeelthesameifIwantedtodateAxel?”
Hestaresatme “No,Iwouldn’tlikethefactthatAxelistoooldforyou,butIwouldn’tfeelsostronglyaboutit”
Iwatchhimremovethecantaloupeseedswithaspoonandthenslicetheremainingfruit.Hehandsmeaslice,butI’mtoo tickedofftoeatit
“WhatdidOzziedotomakeyoudislikehimsomuch?”
“Idon’tdislikehim.ButIknow how heiswithwomen,andIrefuseforyoutobeanotherconquest.Becausethat’swhat womenaretohim,conquests.”
Ozzietoldmeabouthishistoryandhowheandmycousinwouldgotobarsandpickupwomenwhentheywereyounger. Hesaidthat’swhatDurangoseeswhenhelooksathim Iguesshewasright
“Becausehepickedupwomeninhistwenties,you’regoingtoassumethat’showhe’llalwaysbe?Whataboutyou?Didn’t youdoittoo?”
Hefinishesslicingandwalksaroundtheisland,takingaseatnexttome.“Itwasn’tonlyhistwenties.Iwasoutwithhima yearago,andnothinghadchanged.AndwhileIdidpicksomeoneupfromtimetotime,itwasn’tthesame.Trustme.”Hetakes myhandinhis “Igetthatyou’reattractedtohim Mostwomenare Butyou’renotgoingtochangehim Hewillhurtyou I’m savingyoupain.”Henodstothemelon.“Havesome.It’sgood.”
Thenheleavestheroom,endingourconversation
Well,sorry,cousin,butit’snotover.“I’mtwenty-two,andIwilldatewhoeverIwantto!”Ishoutafterhim. Hereappearsinthedoorway “AreyousayingyouwilldateOzzienomatterwhat?” Inod.“Yes.”
Hesighs.“I’msorrytohearthat.”Heturnsaroundandleavesagain. Whatthehelldoesthatmean?
Ozzie
IwalkintoBucky’sandspotLightning,Thunder,Axel,andCTsittingatatable It’soneofthoseraretimeswhenweareall intown.Durangowouldbehere,too,ifheweren’tprotectingPiper.
“Hey,CT?Ididn’texpecttoseeyouhere,”IsayasItakeaseat.
“Yeah,IfinishedanassignmentwithThunderandthoughtI’dspendacoupleofdaysinthecitybeforeheadinghome” Lightninghandsmeabeer.“Orderedforyou.”
“Thanks”Itakeasip
“Isittrue?”Lightningasks.“Didyoureallydriveallthewaytothecabinandbackforwhat?”Hestaresathisphone.“A ten-minutevisit?”
Weallknowit’saboutanhour’sdrivetogettothecabin,soitsoundscrazywhenheputsitthatway.
“Itwasmorelikefifteen,butyeah.”
Lightninggrins “Youhaveitsobad”
Axelshakeshishead.“Durangowillnevercomearound.You’vegottogetoverthis.” “Getoverwhat?”CTasks
Thundertakesasipofwhatlookslikesoda.“OzzieherehasahugecrushonDurango’slittlecousin,Piper.”
CT’seyeswiden.“Oh.HaveyoutalkedtoDurangoaboutit?”
“Don’thaveto.Hetellsmeatleastonceaweeknottoeventhinkaboutit.” CTshakeshishead.“That’srough.”
LightningturnstofaceCT “Hey,aren’tyouinthesamesituation?” CTshiftsinhisseat.“No,notatall.”
Lightninggrins “Yes,youare”Heturnshisgazetomine “CThasathingforRover’slittlesister” “Howthehellwouldyouknowthat?”CTasks. Lightningshrugs.“Coffmighthavementionedit.”
CTmumblessomethingunderhisbreaththatsoundslike,“Asshole.” “What’syoursituation?”Axelasks. CTshakeshishead
“Comeon.ItmighthelpOzzie.”
CTlooksup “Itwon’t ButwhatI’mabouttotellyoucannotleavehere I’mserious” “Okay,”Thundersays. “Sure,”Lightningsays. “Lipsaresealed,”Isay CTglancesatAxel.
“Won’tsayaword,”Axelsays CTtakesadrinkofhisbeer.“Roverismybestfriend.Hasbeenforyears.Well,it’strueIlikehislittlesister. But!” He holdsuphishand “Nothingcaneverhappenbetweenus Iunderstandthat DoIlikeit?No Rovertellsmeoftennottoeven lookathissister.We’refriends,andthat’sallitcaneverbe.”
The manstares straightahead, sorrow inhis eyes. The idea ofknowingnothingcould ever happenwithPiper would be hell
“Wow,thatdoessoundsimilar,”Axelsays.“Doesshelikeyou?”
CTnods “Shedoes ShegavemeanultimatumtoeithertalktoRoveraboutit,orshewasmovingon” Lightningleansforward.“Whatdidyoudo?”
“Nothing Notagoddamnthing”CT’sgriponhisglasstightens “Andnowshe’sdatingsomeasshole” Weallsitquietly,notsurewhattosay.
CTturns to me. “Don’tletthathappento youbecause fuck, man, itreallysucks to see
someoneelse.”
TheideaofPipergivinguponmeandmovingonwouldhurtlikehell.Butdeepdown,I’mnotsureIcanchangeDurango’s mind He’soneofthemoststubbornmenIknow Whenheformsanopinion,it’salmostimpossibletochange
Asifreadingmymind,Lightningnudgesmyleg.“Hey,IconvincedDurangotoeatpineappleonapizza.Youcandothis.” Ilaughbecausehe’sridiculous “Ihardlythinkfoodcompares”
Axelfrowns.“Idon’tknow.Thatisprettyfoul,andIstillcan’tbelieveDurangotriedit,muchlessadmittedhelikedit.It wasacrazynight”
“You’re welcome, bythe way. But a lot of credit should go to Alicia. She’s the one who convinced me it was a good thing.”
“SpeakingofAlicia,how’sshedoing?”CTasks
Lightning lights up. “Very well. She surprised me by getting back into skydiving last year. I didn’t think she would, consideringwhathappenedwithherdad”
Thundersethisglassdown.“Istilldon’tunderstandwhyyoudon’tgowithher.”
Lightning’ssmilefalls “Hey,Ijumpoutofplanesandhelicoptersenoughonthejob Itdoesn’texciteme Besides,Ithink sheprefersgoingwithOzzieoverme.”
CTlaughs.“Wait,youletOzziegooutwithyourwoman?”
IarchabrowatCT
Heholdsuphishands.“Nooffense.I’veheardyou’regoodwiththeladies.”
Andeventhoughhedoesn’tmeananythingbyit,itstillpissesmeoff “Notanymore,”Isayandleaveitatthat.
“Wow,youdohaveitbadforDurango’scousin.Whatareyougoingtodoaboutit?”CTasks. Alltheguysarestaringatme,waitingformyresponse.
“Weweregoingtotalktohim,butthenPiper’sexruinedthatplan.”
“Excuseme,guys,Ineedtotakethis,”Lightningsaysasheholdsuphisphone Hestepsaway,andIturntoThunder.
“How’sMadison?”
Hegrins.“She’sgood.”
“Isshestillusingyoutochoreographhersexscenes?”CTasks.
MadisonisThunder’sgirlfriend,andshe’salsoaromanceauthor.Thundermadethemistakeonenight afterafewdrinks oftellingussheuseshimtomakesurehersexscenesaremoreaccurate.Heprettymuchthreatenedusifwekeepbringingit up ButsinceCTworksoutoftheSeattleoffice,hewasn’tapartofthatthreat IstifleagrinasThundershakeshishead.
“She’snotusing me I’mallfortryingnewthings Butdon’taskwhattheyare I’mnotgoingthere” “MaybeI’llaskMadison,”CTsays.
Thunderglaresathim.“Donottalktomygirlfriendaboutsex.”
Lightningstepsupandcatchesthelastpart “LookslikeIleftatabadtime You’llhavetotellmelater Wehavesomething bigtodealwith.”
“What’sgoingon?”Thunderasks “PipertoldAliciathatDurangoistryingtotransfertotheSeattleoffice.”
Imusthavemisheardhimbecausewhathe’ssayingmakesnosense “Whythehellwouldhewanttodothat?”Thunderasks. Lightningturnstome.“TokeepOzzieandPiperapart.”
Myheartsinks Durango isn’tonboard withus yet, butIcan’tbelieve he wants to move Piper to the other side ofthe countrytokeepherawayfromme.AmIreallythatbadofachoiceforher?Andhe’dbewillingtoleaveme?LikeCoffleft me AllIwouldhaveleftisAxel,andhe’sbeenkeepingtohimselfalotlately “Ineedair.”Ijumpupandgooutside.Itakeseveraldeepbreaths.
Whywould Durango do this? Doesn’tour friendship meananythingto him? Because ofone thingI’ve done, expressing interestinPipereventhoughIhaven’tdoneanythingaboutit.He’swillingtopulltheplugonourfriendship? It’sjustlikemyparents.BecauseIdidn’tgotocollegesoIcouldworkintheircompany,theyweredonewithme. Ileanagainstthebuildingandslidedowntothecement
Whycan’tanyonestickaround?AmIthatmiserableandunlovablethatonemistakeisallittakes?
“Ozzie!”Lightningyells Hefindsmeandtriestopullmeup “Whydotheyallleave?”
Cofflefttoo.Hefelthehadnochoice,butitstillhurt.
“Ozzie,stopit.”
IglanceuptoseeLightning’sconcerned.It’snotanexpressionI’musedtoseeingonhim.
“You’respiraling.Stopit.Getoutofyourhead.” Ilaugh.“Okay,I’lldothat.”
Nowheyanksmeup “Let’sgo”Hedragsmeawayfromthebar “Where?”
Hisgripisfirm,andI’dhavetofighthimtogetfree Causingasceneonthesidewalkisn’tsomethingIreallywanttodo rightnow.Wereachhiscar.
“Getin” “Why?”
“BecauseweneedtodealwiththisnowbeforeDurangodoessomethingstupid.” Ileanupagainstthecar “Youmeanlikeaskforatransfer?Toolate,he’salreadydoneit” Lightningcrosseshisarms.“Youaregoingtoletthembothgo?Youdon’twanttotrytotalkreasonintohim?”
“ReasonwithDurango?That’sliketryingtoblowdownawallwithyourbreath Can’tbedone”
Hesighs.“Okay.TheywillmovetoSeattle.You’llneverseePiperagain.Andshe’llmoveonlikeAmberhas.Youheard CT;he’smiserable Butsincethere’snopointintalkingtoDurango,you’lljusthavetosuffer”
Hestareshardatmewhilehiswordssinkin.He’sright.Ihavetodosomething.Ican’tletthembothwalkoutofmylife withoutafight.
“You’reright Ihavetotry”
“Yes,youdo.Nowgetin.We’regoingtowinyourwomanandyourfriendback.”
Piper
Durango and Ididn’t talkanymore yesterday, which, yes, was awkward He read a book, and Iscrolled throughsocial mediaonmyphone.IdebatedtellingOzziewhathappenedbutdecidedtowait.I’mhopingmycousinchangeshismind.
Thenextmorning,IfindDurangoonthebackdecktalkingonhisphone.He’dleftthedoorajar,soIstandthere,listeningto hissideoftheconversation
“Iunderstand,butitwouldbeforthebest.Mycousin’sexisstillcomingafterher.AndIknowtheguysinSeattle.” Seattle?Istepcloser “Wecouldmoveassoonasyou’dhaveus.” Move?
“Idon’tneedtimetothinkaboutit.I’vemademydecision.”
Istepevencloser,andDurangomusthearthecrutchesbecauseheturnstome.Nopointinhidingnow soIopenthedoor fully
“Allright.I’llwaitforyourcall.Thankyou.”Heendsthecallandpocketshisphone. “Whatthehellisgoingon?”Iask
“Thatwasmyboss.IrequestedatransfertoStormy’sSeattleteam.Assoonashegivesthegreenlight,we’removing.”
Iwaitforhimtosayhe’sjoking,butIknowhe’snot.“Wow,you’dgothisfartokeepmeawayfromOzzie?”
Hefrowns.“No,I’mkeepingyouawayfromyourscumbagex.”
“BymovingmeclosertoMontana?No,that’snotwhatthisisabout.”
Hestepspastmeintothecabin “JohnknowswhereweliveinNewYork It’snolongersafe We’llhavetogobacktothe housetopackuponceIhearfromStormy.Untilthen,wecanstayhere.”
Ifollowhiminside “No,I’mnotmoving”
“I’msorry,butyoudon’thaveachoice.Youcan’tstayinNewYorkaloneaslongasJohnisfree.”
Andwithhisconnections,Johnwillalwaysbefree.
“Yes,Ican.ImadeanewlifeformyselfinNewYork,andthatassholeisnotgoingtoruinitforme!”
Startingovermylastyearofcollegewasnoteasy,butIdidit.AndI’vemadesomegreatfriendsinBrooklyn.Ilovethat place and won’t let John run me out of there But if Durango insists, what choice do I have? While I love my job as a receptionistforRHS,itdoesn’tpayenoughtoliveinNYConmyown.
Andevenwithmydegree,therearen’tmanyjobsrightnowthatpaybetterorthatIwouldqualifyfor I’mstuck,andIhate it.Igothroughmyfriendsinmymind,butnoneofthemarelookingforaroommate.
“Durango, you’ve beenmanythings, butcontrollingis notone ofthem. Rightnow, youremind me ofmyex.” Iturnand leavehiminthekitchenandmakemywaytotheroomI’mstayingin
Ipull outmyphone and textAlicia, Lightning’s girlfriend. The momentwe met, we clicked. She’s the one personItell everything I’vetoldheraboutJohnandmyfeelingsforOzzie.ButIfeelbadbecauseIhaven’ttalkedtohersinceIgotshot.Thereare several missed textmessages fromher askinghow Iamdoing Ishould have responded bynow, butJohnis notsomethingI reallywanttotalkabout.
Piper: Sorry I haven’t responded It’s been a crazy few days
Alicia: I heard you ’ re at the cabin You going stir-crazy? Ifonlythatwereit.
Piper: Worse Durango asked to transfer to the Seattle office and said we are moving there Myphonerings.“Hey,”Ianswer. “Seattle?Why?”
Isigh.“Hesaysitistogetawayfrommyex,butI’mcertainit’sreallytokeepmeandOzzieapart.Imean,Seattleiscloser toMontana,soitmakesnosense.”
“Noway.Yourcousinisaniceguy.Hewouldn’tpullthatkindofbullshit-controllingmove.Wouldhe?”
Iwouldn’thavethoughtso,either,ifshe’daskedmeprior,butnowI’mnotsosure.“Lastnight,ItoldDurangoIwasgoing todateOzziewhetherhelikeditornot Thenthismorning,Iwakeupandfindhimonthephonerequestingthemove” Shesighs.“Itsoundslikeheneedssomeonetosethimstraight.”
Ilaugh “Hedoes,buthe’stoostubborn”
“Ihaveanideathatmighthelp.LetmeseewhatIcando.Inthemeantime,don’tkilleachother!” “Nopromises”
Shelaughs.“Okay,I’llbeintouchandletyouknowifI’montosomething.”Sheendsthecall,andI’mleftwonderingwhat she’supto.
DurangoandIspendtherestofthedayignoringeachotheragain Icanonlyscrollsocialmediaforsolong,andI’mbored outofmymind.AsmuchasIwanttosendOzzieamessage,Idon’t.He’satwork,andIdon’twanttobotherhimthere. Durangomakesussandwichesforlunch Hetakeshisintohisbedroom,leavingmealonetoeatmine AfterIfinish,Igo backtomybedroomandtakeanap.
Voiceswakeme,andIsitup,wonderingifJohnfoundus ButthenIrecognizethevoices LightningandOzzie Imakemywayoutofthebedroomanddownthehallasquietlyasonecanwhenusingcrutches.Thethreemenarestanding inthelivingroom.
“Ihavetoleave It’stheonlywaytokeepPipersafe,”Durangosays “Bullshit,”Ozziesaysashestepsforward.“Youreallydislikemethatmuchthatyou’drathermoveacrossthecountrythan letmedateher?”
Durangocrosseshisarmsandleansagainstthewallasifthisisabothertohim.“Mypriorityiskeepinghersafe.” Lightningstepsinbetweenthem.“Look,Igetshe’syourpriority,butmovingtoSeattleseemsextreme.Wecanhelpwatch outforher.”
“No,”Durangosays.“AndPipermighthavetextedOzandtoldhimthat’smyreason,butit’snot.”
“Shedidn’ttextme”
“ShetoldAlicia.Comeon,Durango,haveyoutalkedtoher?Shedoesn’twanttoleaveNew York.Shealreadyuprooted herlifeayearagowhenshecamehere”
Thetwomenstareathim,buthedoesn’tsayanythingelse.Imakemywayouttothemonmycrutches.“Idon’twanttogo. Johnwillfindmetheretoo.He’sgoingtofindmeanywhereIgo.”Ishudderatthatthought. “She’sright.Untilhe’sbehindbars,she’satriskhereorthere,”Ozziesays.
“Yeah,well,there,Idon’thavetoworryaboutyou,”Durangoyellsashepushesoffthewall.
“Finally,youadmityourrealreason,”Ozziesays
Lightningputsahandoneachman’schest,keepingthematadistance.“Stopit,bothofyou.Durango,Piperisanadultand canmakeherowndecisions Youmayhatetheideaofthemtogether,butyoucan’tcontrolherlikethis” “Yeah,that’sright!”Ozziesays.
Lightningturnstohim.“Andyou.Really?OutofallthewomeninNewYork,youhadtopickhislittlecousin?”
Ozzie glances atme, thenbackto Lightning “Itwas never a choice The momentImether, Ifeltdifferent” He turns to Durango.“SinceImetPiper,Ihaven’tbeenoutwithanotherwoman.Ihaven’twantedto.She’sallIthinkaboutwhenIwake upandwhenIgotosleep,andhell,wearen’tevendating Isweartoyou,Durango,she’snotsomeconquest I’mfallingfor her.I’vebeenfallingallthispastyear.”
Myheart flutters He’s fallingfor me And he’s right Whenwe met, Ifelt it, too Iturnmygaze to Durango He’s still glaringatOzzie.Nothinghesaidhashelped.
“Look,callCoffandaskhim.HeknowswhatamiserableSOBI’vebeenthispastyear.”
Lightninglowershishands,andneithermanmoves “Canyoutwoleave?Ineedtothink,”Durangosays.
Lightningnods “Sure Let’sgo,Oz”
Lightningstepstowardthedoor,andOzziestaresatme.SorrowemanatesfromhiseyesaswebothrealizeDurangoisn’t goingtochangehismind
No,I’mgoingtohavetogetmyselfoutofmyownmessunlessIwantanothermancontrollingmylife.
IwatchLightningandOzziegototheircar.Durango’sphonerings,butheignoresit.Ozzieisstaringatme,andIwaveto him Hewavesback
“Piper,” Durango says, snappingme frommythoughts. “We need to head backto the house tonight. We’re flyingout to Seattlefirstthinginthemorning I’dliketopackafewmorethings” Tomorrowmorning?
“Areyouserious?Youjusttoldthemyouneedtothink.Butthatwasalie!”
“No,it’snot.Ineedtofigureoutthebestwaytokeepyousafe.Thefirststepisgoingbacktothehousetopack.” “No!”Igotomyroomandslamthedoor.Yes,itmightbechildish,butI’msofrustratedwiththisman.
IfiguredI’dhaveatleastaweektofindanotheroption.Ihatetodothis,butIstartagrouptextwithmyNewYorkfriends. IfIeverneededtheirhelp,it’snow.
Onthedrivebacktothecity,aplanisformed Well,it’snotsomuchaplanbutaplacetostayforafewnights Kaylahas offeredmeher couch.It’soneblockfromRHS,soevenwithcrutches,I’ll beabletowalkbackandforth.Iwill havetobe vigilantinkeepinganeyeoutforJohn IfDurangoseeshowfarI’mwillingtogo,hemightbackdownandstay Evenifhe doesn’t, I’mnotleaving. I’ve gotone mantellingme Ihave to go to Seattle and another tellingme Ihave to marryhimandreturntoMontana Whythehelldothesementhinktheycancontrolme?Theycan’t,andfrankly,I’mfedupwith bothofthem.It’stimeIcalledtheshotsinmylife.Andthat’sexactlywhatI’mgoingtodo.
