OLEANDEROATHS
STEELROSESMOTORCYCLECLUB
BOOK3
Copyright©2024byJenaDoyle
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For anyone who’s ever had to fight off their inner monsters… You are worthy of this life
Keep fighting
WannajointheRoses?
Thanksgiving
Iducked out of the way before Thor’s massive fist connected with my cheekbone, but I missed the cues indicating he’d swiped his foot out Whenhis legconnected withthe backof myknees, I melted like ice creamona hot summer day, landingonmybackwithaloud oof.
Fuck
Theairrushedoutofmylungs,andIblinkedupattheshadowofmymentor,holdingouthishandformesohecouldyank metomyfeet.Grimacing,Ishoveditaway.Ididn’tneedhishelp,notanymore.
“You’redistracted,”Thorsaid,hissteeleyestwinklinginthesunlight.
Iignoredhiscommentandpeeledbackthetapearoundmywristtomakeittighterbeforeslappingitdownagain.
“Let’sgo”Iheldupmyhands,readyforanotherround,butThoronlyraisedaneyebrowandsmirkedbeforepickinguphis waterbottle.HetiltedhisheadbacktosquirtsomeintohismouthwhileIstaredatthedropthattrickleddownthesideofhis jaw and onto his neck The muscles worked under his skinas he swallowed, and for the millionthtime, Iwondered whatit mightbeliketolickthatthroatasheslidinsideme.
Get your shit together, Montgomery Ishookmyheadtobringmyattentionbacktoreality.Notthattherewaseveragood timetolustafterthemanwho’dmarriedmyauntbeforeheruntimelydeath,butitwasdefinitelythe wrong timewhenmyfocus wassupposedtobeonhittinghiminthefaceashardasIcould.
“Whydon’tyoutellmewhat’sonyourmind?”Thorsatonafallenlogtotakeanotherlongdrink,tossinghisbottletothe sidesohecouldadjusthisownwrappings.
Of all the people on this great earth, he would be the last person I spoke to about my dark, twisted secret He'd do everythinginhispowertotalkmedown,toremindmeitwasRosebusiness,notmine.Ididn’tcare.
TheSteel RosesMotorcycleClubhadbeendraggingtheirfuckingfeetforthreemonthssincemybestfriend,Ru,andher boyfriend,Saint,hadgottenshot Assoonasthetimewasright,Iwouldtakeaction
“I’mjusttired.”
He narrowed his gaze, tiltinghis head to the side while he waited for me to continue Itwas always this battle ofwills betweenus,whohadthemostpatience,whohadthecouragetoholdtheirtonguethelongest.Hereadmelikeabookmostof thetime,andevenwhenItriedtokeepmywallsup,hefoundawaytobringthemcrumblingtotheground “Areyouhavingtroublesleeping?”
Ichuckledsoftly,forcingatightsmileIknewlookedfake.No,Iwasn’tsleeping.Ihadn’tsleptinoverayear,andheknew why NikkiMcNally,awomanI’dknownsincechildhood,awomanthathaddatedmytwinbrother,Jericho,foroveradecade, had defected to our enemies last July. Since then, the information she’d given to the Caputi crime family had led to the abductionandbrutalizationofmultipleRoses,theshootoutthisAugustonlybeingthelatest Ruhadbarelymadeitoutalive, andasIstoodoverherhospitalbed,debatingwithmyselfabouttheoddsofhersurvival,Imadeapromise. Iwouldn’tstandforthisanylonger.
The only problem was Nikki had also gone after the Roses by attacking Saint and the other brother in the vehicle, Hollywood.Theyclaimeditwasclubbusiness,thatIwasn’tamemberoftheMCsoIhadnoreasontogetinvolved.
Whatthesefuckersfailedtounderstandwasthewomenoftheclub,peoplelikeme,Ru,andthehang-arounds,existedina liminalspace notquitein,notquiteout.Nikkihadlivedinthatgrayarea with me. Inhere,thewomenoftheSRMCtookcare ofeachother Weweretheheartbeatofthisfamily
“Ican’thelpyouif ”
“Idon’twantyourhelp,”Isnapped,shootinghimasharplook.
Hesatupstraighterandsmiled,knowinghe’dhitanerve.TherewasonlyonepersonintheworldItrustedbeyondreason andlogic,andhecouldn’tresistneedlingmytemper.
“Iknowwhatyou’rethinking,”hesaid. Again,Iglaredathim,waitingforhimtoshowhiscards.
“Ifyougoafterher,Selene,sohelpmefuckingGods ”Itcameoutasmoreofagrowlthanacalm,controlledstatement Yes,yes,Iknew whatheplannedtodo.He’dcomefor me,justashecamefor meall thetimesbefore.ButI’ddonemy research,andIwasgood Icouldgetinandoutwithoutanyoneknowing,andonceNikkiwasgone,theleakwouldbepatched andshewouldn’tbeathreatanylonger.
“Tellmethat’snotwhatyou’replanning,andI’llleaveitalone”Hestoodandtookasteptowardme,raisinghiseyebrows inexpectationofaresponse.“Behonest.”
Iclearedmythroatandfocusedonthegroundbetweenus,unabletolookhimintheeyesbecausehe’dseerightthroughme. Healwaysdid
“That’s notwhatI’mplanning,” Ilied, althoughtechnically, Iwasn’tplanningto go after her yet. Iwanted to be sure. I neededasolidplan,anduntilIhadthat,Ihadtokeepupthegreatfacade “Hmm.”Thordidn’tbelieveme.Whyshouldhe?
I’dspentthelastthreemonthstryingtofindher,callingineveryfavorIhad Theinformationultimatelycamefromthemost unlikelyofplaces anoldfriendofmine,Marissa.She’dbeenanoldladyintheclubforyearsuntilherhusband,Trojan,died protectingRuand Alba the firsttime the Caputis attacked. After that, Marissa had takenoffto starta new life…until a few weeks ago,whenshe’dreachedoutfromBuffalo,New Yorkwithpictures ofmymostfavorite hang-aroundslungall over a biker fromtheir local club,the Kings ofCarnage.Marissa saidshe saw her inthe bar withthe same groupofbikers almost everynight,andupuntilnow,Nikkihadn’trecognizedtheformerSRMColdlady Orifshehad,shehadn’tbeenprovokedby Marissa’sappearancenoraskedforareunion.Intheabsenceofasafetynet,Nikkihaddonewhatshealwayshad…infiltrated agroupofmenandfoundonetofallinlovewithherandprotecther,theidioticsap.
Onceuponatime,NikkiandIhadbeenkidstogether runninginbetweentheshedsoutbehindtheclubhouse,makingmud piesuntilourclotheswerefilthy,playinghide-and-seekunderthesummermoonlight.Nikki’smotherhadbeenahang-around thathadtakenupspaceattheclubhouseforaslongasIcouldremember Herfatherwasoneoftheold-timers,aRosewhohad likelyalreadydiedormovedontoadifferentchapter.ImighthaveevencalledherafrienduntilshedickedaroundwithJer’s emotionsforallthoseyears ButI’dbeenwillingtooverlookthatbecauseshe’dalwaysbeenapartofthetribe Ifsheandher idiothusbandhadn’tgoneall Et tu, Brute,shelikelystillwouldbe.
MarissashouldhavereachedouttoCroworThor.Sheshouldhavetakenthistotheclub.Butshecametomebecauseshe knewwhatitwastobeawomaninanMC.SheknewI’dhandleit.
“How’sLeo?”Iasked,changingthesubject.
“Pissedoffandsilent”Thorranathumboverhiseyebrow
After Nikki and the Caputis came after us, the Roses had wanted blood. InSeptember, theyhad gone after the remaining Caputi heir, Leo, buthe was onlythe kingpinbecause his uncle and elder brother had died He’d never beencutoutfor the crownandpreferredtosnorthisinheritanceawayinsteadofcontrolit.Bythetimewe’dgottentohim,hewassotweakedout thatitwassurprisinghecouldholdhisheadup.TheRoseshadbeensenttheretokillhim,torepaybloodwithblood,butSaint hadacrisisofconscienceandbroughthimbacktotheclubhouse,whereLeohadbeendryingouteversince
I’dbeenabigpartofbringinghimbacktolife,especiallyoncehestoppedeating.Now,he’dresignedhimselftoourfood buthadn’tutteredawordinovereightweeks Theywererunningoutofideas,andLeowasquicklylosinghispotentialvalue “Weshouldakilledhimwhenwehadthechance,”Isaid.
Thorshrugged “Jury’sstillout Hemighttalk” “Wouldyou?”Ilaughedoutasadnoise.
Heraisedaneyebrow,runninghistongueacrosshislips.“Wedon’thavetherightmotivation.”
“Whatareyousuggesting?”
Thor shook his head, giving me a look that reminded me it was club business, and I should mind my own. Instead of answering,heheldhisfistsupandnodded “Again”
Hewentharderonmethattime,quicklygettingmeinachokeholdbeforetwistingmylegsoutfromundermesohecould tumblemeontotheundergrowth
“You’rethinkingtoomuch,”hesaid.“You’reupinyourhead.” “Yeah,nofuckingshit.”Iclimbedtomyfeet,butThorwasalreadythere,trippingmeupsoIfellfacefirstontheground.
“Stopfuckingaround,”hesaid,crouchingsohewasclosertoeyelevel “HowareyougoingtogoupagainstNikkiandthe entireCaputifamilyifyoucan’teventakemedown?”
Aragingfirebuiltinmygut,partfury,parthumiliation Hewasright I was distracted,andithadeverythingtodowiththis stupid,annoyingthingbetweenus.IhatedthatThorcouldreadmesowell.IhatedthatI’dbeenforcedtolivewithhimforthe lastfifteenyears.Ihatedthatmybrotherhadfoundhissoulmateandmovedout,leavingmetodealwithThorbymyself. Ihadnowhereelsetohideanymore. MaybeIneverdid.
“Getup,Montgomery.”Thorpushedtohisfeet,movinghistonedcalvestowardhiswaterbottleagain.Fuckhimforbeing so beautifully made. At six four, he was practically a giant, and his long dark blond hair and gunmetal-gray eyes had contributedtohisnickname Thor.
AfuckingVikingGodcometolife,andIwasthestupidhumanthathaddevelopedthisridiculouscodependenceonhim I couldn’tlivewithhim,butthethoughtofleavinghimmademewanttopeelmyskinoffmybody.RuthoughtIwasinlovewith him,butsuchaminusculeconcepthadneverencompassedthedepthofdecadentvilenessinourrelationship
Ipushedtomyfeetandtookadeepbreath,focusingonthewaytheaircirculatedthroughmybody.Thetreesrustledinthe crispautumnwind, whisperinga soothingmelodythatbrushedagainstmycheeks ina healingembrace.Curlingburntumber leaves rustled along the ground, reminding me of the world’s cyclic nature Everything around me was dying, long since wrestledintosubmissionbythestillnessofNovemberandnowpreparingfortheultimatedeathofwinter.
Withmymindmorefocused,IlookedatThorandheldmyhandsup “Again”
Thistime,Ikeptupwithhim.Idodgedhisfirstfewblows,backingawaywhenheadvanced.Iwasonlyfivetentohistall, muscularframe,soIhadtousehismomentumagainsthimifIeverwantedtowin Hewasbig,sohetiredeasily Ionlyhadto blockhimforsolongbeforehegotslow,anddespitehavinganimpressivemilitarybackground,Thorwastenyearsolderthan me,thirty-ninetomytwenty-nine.Hewasstillinamazingshape,butfortyhiteveryonelikeatonofbricks.
Evenso,hetrippedmeupwithanankleIdidn’tseecoming,andwhenIcouldn’tmaintainmybalance,Itriedtousehis weighttothrowmyotherleguponhishipinanefforttobringhimdown.Itdidn’twork.Hecaughtmeandslammedmyback upagainstatree
Iwincedonimpact,ignoringthesharppainthatshotdownmyspine.Withmyhandswrappedinhisbetweenourchestsand ourlegstangledtogether,wewereatanimpasse.Icouldn’tmovewithoutsubmittingtohim,buthecouldn’tbackawaywithout melettinghimgo.
“Give,”hesnarled.
“No”Itriedtopullaway,buthetightenedhisgrip
“Give!” His breathhitme inthe face,mintyandwarmand him, and Ishivered athow close we were. His lips hovered centimetersfrommine,hisfierymoltenirisesburningintome,ourheartspoundingintimeagainstourcombinedembrace He’d shovedhiskneeinbetweenmylegs,pressinghishardthighfirmagainstmyleggings,rubbingmyvulvainthebestandworst way.Wedancedonprecariousbattleground,oneminorslipupawayfromtotaldisaster.
This wasn’tthe firsttime we’d sparred;Thor taughtme everythingIknew. He’d held me downinhundreds ofsessions before,grabbedmyhairandyelledinmyface,butnoneofithadeverbeenaschargedasthisonemoment.Trappedagainsta tree, nothing but our pride and our clothes between us, the mood shifted My blood boiled and my skin shrank, making everythingsofuckinghotanduntenable.I’dneverbeensoawareofeveryinchofhim,andIlickedmydrylips,hopingtocool down Thordroppedhisgazetothemovement,andmyheartpoundedharder
Hewasgoingtokissme,andIdesperatelywantedhimto.Itwaswrong,butforonemoment,Iimaginedaworldwherea lovelikeourswouldbeokay,whereourrelationshipwasn’tsodamnedunhealthy,regardlessofthetitlesocietyhadputonus. Weweretoxicandpossessiveofeachotherinwaysthatshouldhavemademeuncomfortable,andthewholecyclehadbecome so strangelyaddictive that I couldn’t get away. He claimed not to want me, but no one else was allowed to have me, and everybodyknewit
“You live with monsters,” he’doncetoldme.“Don’t be surprised if you turn out to be one. ”
Yes,Iwashislittlemonster,andhe’dmademethisway
Thorgrippedmychinwithhismassivehandtoholdmeinplacewhilehestareddownatmyfrenziedstate.Analyzingme. Regardingme.Itriedtopullupmydefenses,tofileawayallmyerrantthoughtsbeforehecouldseethem.Butheknewmeso fuckingwell Icouldneverhidefromhiscalculatingeyes
“Training’sdonefor theday.”Hetookastepback,bentover tograbhiswater bottle,andwalkedaway.“Seeyouatthe clubhouse”
MykneesshookasIstruggledtoholdmyselfupright,cursinghimwithaone-fingersaluteashewalkedaway.Forfifteen years,I’ddancedaroundmyattractiontohimlikeitdidn’texist,andanytimesomeonecameclosetofindingoutmydepraved littlesecret,Iliedandpretendeditwasnothing,remindingtheworldhe’dmarriedmyauntsowecouldnevercrossthatline. Evenifshe’ddiedsolongagothatIcouldbarelyrememberhervoice,ThorandIlivedalifewherearomancelikeours would ultimatelyend insoul-shatteringheartache, no matter what IfIdidn’tdie caughtup inthe middle ofthis stupid war betweentheRosesandtheCaputis,thenhe’dperishoutthereinthetrenches,ameaslypieceofcannonfodder,andforwhat? Whocouldevenrememberanymore?Theykilledourpeople,wekilledtheirpeople,andonandonitwent
Arbitrarywords like uncle and love and brokenhearts would never describe the relationship betweenThor and me. He wastherewhenevenmybrotherwasn’t.He’ddonethingsformethatwesworewe’dneverspeakofagain.I’dconfessedto himeverydark,delicatesecretI’deverhad,andhe’dlistenedwithoutjudgment,onlytoconvincemeIwasn’tapieceofshit fordoingwhatIhadtoinordertoprotectthepeopleIloved.
Thoralwayshadbeenandwouldremaineverythingtome.Andthatmademesofrustrated,Icouldn’tstandit.
IneversaidIwasagoodperson JustbecauseItooksomestupidoathtodonoharmwhenIgraduatedmedicalschooldidn’t meanI’d actuallykeep itor I’d never done sucha thing before Itookit. No, I’d beena monster since Icame outofthe womb,justastaintedandevilasthefuckersIlivedwith
So deep was myrottenness thatIoftenhad to questionhow far would be too far for me. Would Ieventuallyhita limit? Would Ifind myselfstaringdownthe barrel ofmyM33 and be unable to pull the trigger, lackingthe will to see itthrough? Maybe,butevenIcouldadmitIdidn’tknowwherethatboundarywas
“Now, that’s how to cuta turkey,” Jer said, clappingthe presidentofthe SRMC, our dear Uncle Crow, onthe shoulder whileheslicedintothemassivebirdwithanelectricknife Thejoltnearlysentthetoolstraightthroughtotheotherside Crow growledandstraightened,glaringatmylaughingbrotherasheheldhishandsupinsurrender,lesttheMCpresidenttakethat bladetohim
“Youbetterbackthefuckup,KC,”theVP,Aris,said,chucklingashisson-in-lawgotthelookofdeathfromCrow.
Mybrother hadbeenbornJerichoMontgomery,butoncehejoinedtheSteel Roses,he’dbeengiventhenicknameKC.It stoodforKillerCock,whichwasanunfortunatestorythatmademegroan Irefusedtocallhimanythingwiththeword‘cock’ init,soIstucktothenameI’dalwaysused.
Jer and Iwere twins Our parents had died whenwe were fourteenina car bombingoutside Annapolis, Maryland My father,Esquire,hadbeentheMC’slawyeruntilhisdeath,butI’dalwaysbeencloserwithmymother.JerandIbothlookedlike her,withthesamelight-tannedskin,thesamedarkhairandbrightblueeyes.TheolderIgot,themoremyfacialfeaturesstarted toresembleher.Sometimes,whenIstaredinthemirror,Iwonderedifshewastheonereallystaringoutatmeandwhatshe wouldthinkofthelifeI’dmadeformyself.
It was myfault myparents were out that day, that we’d gone to Annapolis at all I’d wanted to go to the annual pirate festival,andIhadbeggedformonthsuntiltheydecidedtomakeadayofit.WeevenbroughtmyAuntEdie,Crow’swife.They droppedJer andme offwhile theywenttofindsomethingtoeat,andthatwas the lasttime we ever saw them Sometimes I thoughtthatifIcould protectenoughofthe familyIhad left, save themfromanythinglike thatever happeningagain, maybe MomwouldforgivealltheterriblethingsI’ddonesince.Maybeshewouldn’tthinkIwastoomuchofamonster.
Verona,theyoungestofCrow’schildren,satacrossfrommewithherfacetwistedinahorrifiedwincewhileshestaredat Hollywoodshovelingmashedpotatoesintohismouth.
Whenhenoticed,hefrozeandraisedhiseyebrows,blinkinghisprettyeyelashesandgrinninginherdirection “Don’tstare atmewiththosefuck-meeyes,VeronaMarie.Everyonemightgetthewrongimpression.”
“I’dratherswimthroughhotgarbage”Shesneered,turninghernoseupathisluridtease “Suchaflirt.”Heblewoutaplayfulwhistleandshookhishead,goinginforanotherbite.
Sheshovedhimawayandgroaned,focusingherattentiononherbrothers,CastorandPollux,ontheothersideofher,butI didn’tmissthewayhercheeksturnedabrightrosypink
Twins raninour family. Jer and Ihad come first, Castor and Polluxa few years later. Theywere currentlyropingtheir sisterintoadiscussionaboutthenextsuperheromoviewhileRu,sittingonmyleft,addedheropinion
“Can’ttheyfindsomethingelsetowriteabout?”shewhined.“There’sbeenlikesixteenofthosedamnRevengermovies.” Saintchuckled and rubbed her back, makingher leanfarther into himso he could whisper somethinginher ear He had oncebeenAris’sbestfriend,butRuandSaint’ssecretage-gaprelationshipputadamperonthat.Iglancedtotheothersideof Sainttoseeher father laughingwithDoc,soperhapsthingswereonthemend.After hisformer lover died,Arishadtakena backseatatthe MC’s strip club, the Beacon Ruand Vhad since renovated itand turned itinto MadisonCounty’s firstsex club.
Bear,Crow’seldestson,satonmyright Iwasclosetoallmycousins,butespeciallyhim HeandJerwerelikebrothers growingup,whichmeanthe’dbecomemineaswell.WhereVeronahadinheritedtheirfather’sdarkhairandraredeepindigo eyes,Bear andhis brothers tookafter their mother darker oliveskintone,softbrunettecurls,andbigmahoganypuppydog irises.Ididn’tletthatfoolme.Hemadeupforthoseadorable,boyishfeatureswithintellectandprowess.BearwasCrow’s
soninpersonality:calm,collected,strategic.Hesawmorethanheleton.
“Haveyoubeenbytovisitourspecialguest?”hemurmured,takingadrinkofhisbeer.Hetracedhiseyescarefullyover me,readingmeas his father did Neither oneofthemwas as goodas Thor,soIkeptmyshields up,shovingall signs ofmy secretprojectintothedeepest,darkestrecessesofmymind.
“No”Imovedtheturkeyaroundonmyplate,unabletoeat,thoughIprobablyshould “DoyouthinkIneedto?” Heshrugged.“Mightbeworthyourwhile.”
WhenSainthadsavedLeoCaputitwomonthsago,mostoftheclubthoughthe’dmadeamistake IttookgettingArisonhis side to convince Crow, and after eightagonizingweeks, everyone was onedge aboutit. The longer theyheld onto him, the moreofaliabilityhebecame.Bear’striggerfingergrewitchierbytheday.
Thatintriguedme “Ishetalking?”
Bearturnedtofacemesohecouldleanincloser.“Hisknee’sfuckedup.Hecan’twalk.”
Isnorted,thinkinghewasjoking,butwhenhisfeaturesstayedserious,Iscowled “Heprobablyneedssurgery SendDoc” Bearshrugged,givingmeaknowinglook.“Youhavea…kinder touch.” Sure,thatwastrue TheMC’senforcersatatthefarendofthetablewithhislittlesister,talkingtoafewoftheotherclub members.Helaughed,hisgreeneyestwinkling,hisskinsunburnedfromtoomuchtimeoutside.Atthirty-five,Docshouldhave beenattheheightofhiscareeratthehospital.Likeme,hewasatalenteddoctor,buthetoohadadarkside.Thatwashowhe’d gottenhisnickname Sittingheretoday,hewasDoctorJekyll,butwhenhelethisinnerdemonsouttoplay,heturnedintoMr Hyde.He’dbeenknowntoworkwonderswithamacheteandscalpelalike.
“Whycan’tyoudoit?”Bearsaid “Yougotsomethingbettergoingon?”
Hewasawalking,talkingliedetector,soIhadtoplaymycardsrightforhimtoleavemealoneaboutthis. “No,”Isaid.“Ijustdon’tlikehelpingthefuckersthatkilledmyfamily.Ifhislegrots,chopitoff.”
Beartookanotherdrinkofbeerandraisedaneyebrow,stillnotconvinced.WhenCrowsteppeddownoneday,everyone expectedhimtotakeupthemantleaspresident.Ithoughtthatwassomeantiquated,patriarchalbullshit.Whywouldn’ttheMC electtheirnew leaderfromtherestofthegroup?Whydidit have tobeBear?Whatever Liketheylovedtoremindme,club businesswasn’tmy business.
“Willyougoseehimtomorrow?”
Fuck no.Ihadnodesiretohelpthebastardthattriedtokillmyfamilyandmaimedcountlessmore.“I’vegotplans.”
Hescruncheduphisfaceandgrabbedanearofcorntoploponhisplate.“Whatplans?”
“Idon’thavetoexplainmyselftoyou,”Isaid,eventhoughIhadnothingspecialgoingon.Afteralong,boringdayinthe garage,I’dgototheBeacon’sreopeningwhereI’dwatchakinkshowthatwouldundoubtedlyleavemesexuallyfrustratedand confused Afterthat,I’dgohomealoneandruboneouttofantasiesofmyuncle,whowouldprobablybedoingthesamething inhisroomonthefloorbelowme.
“Leaveheralone,”Veronacutin “She’sfuckingthatguyfromhighschool” “Whatguy?”Bearasked,ascowlbetweenhiseyebrows.
“Yeah,whatguy?”Jersaidfromhisendofthetable,attentionfocusedonme.“Ididn’tknowtherewasaguy.”
“There’snoguy,”Iinsisted,glaringatmylittlecousin “What’shisname?Marty?”Rusaid.
“That’sright,”Veronaadded “Butit’sbeenawhilesinceyou’vementionedhim”
“That’sbecauseit’snothing.”IplayfullysneeredatVerona.“Anyway,I’mnottheonethatkeepsmyrelationshipsasecret foryearsatatime”
Rugaspedandturnedtofaceme,mockoutrageinhereyes.“Howdareyou?”
“It’strue,though,”Hollywoodpipedup,givingRuoneofhisclassiclady-killersmiles.Despitehowattractivehewas,he hadneverdoneanythingoutoflinewithanyoftheMCprincesses Tous,he’dalwaysbeenabrother,alovablegoofballthat worehisheartonhissleeve.
“Guesswedeservedthatone,huh?”SaintkissedthetipofRu’snose,drawingherattentionfromthelaughteraroundher Theconversationcarriedonandanymentionofmyextracurricularactivities,orlackthereof,dieddown.
But hot, angrypinpricks drilled into the side of myface, indicative of Thor’s gaze boringjealous holes into me I had hookedupwithaguyfromhighschool,evenifitwasnothingmorethanaone-nightstand.Ineededtoblowoffsteam,andwho couldblameme?
Iignoredthosegunmetaleyesandnibbledonmydinner
“Soyou’llgoseehim?”Bearcontinued.“Assoonasyoucan?”
Inodded,knowingmycousinwouldn’tdropthedamnthinguntilIagreed IhadamillionotherthingsI’dratherdoinstead, sowhileImightaddittomylist,Iwouldn’tmakeitahighpriority.Ifhehappenedtodiebetweennowandthenorifhecould neverusehislegagain,well…Iwould’vecalledthatkarma.
“Thanks,Sel.”Bearsmiledandnudgedmyshoulderwithhisownthewayhe’ddonesincewewerechildren.
Iwatchedtherevelrycarryonaroundme,CastorandPolluxhavingmovedontoarguingwithmybrotheraboutwhowas
thebestNinjaTurtle.
“You’refuckinguseless,”Jersaid.
“Michelangelo is clearly the best, and youfuckingknow it He’s hilarious, he looks great inorange, and he fights with nunchakus,”Polluxsaid,countingonhis fingers whilehelistedoutthecartooncharacter’s bestqualities.“You’regonnatell meI’mwrong? I’m wrong?Howareweevenrelated?”
Ichuckled, memorizingthe familial warmthinthe center ofmychest. We were a motleybunch, the definitionofa found family ThatwasthedifferencebetweenusandtheCaputis theypridedthemselvesontheirgenetics,believingtheonlyreal kinhadbeenpoppedoutoftheirpurebredwomen.Wepickedournearestanddearestbasedonloyalty,onlylettingsomeonein oncethey’dearnedit.
Ofcourse,we’dbeenstabbedinthebackbefore,andthechurninginthepitofmyguttoldmesomethingterriblewasabout tohappenagain,someunknowabledisasterlurkingundertheradar.
Isighed,mythoughtsdriftingtotheresearchIhadhangingupathome,andIremindedmyselftocallitearly Thecrewwas gearingupforanepicThanksgivingparty,andifthiswereanyotheryear,I’dbeshooting’embackwitheveryoneelse. ButIcouldn’t Ineededtostayfocusedandalert Ineededtoprotectmyfamily Wecouldn’taffordtobeblindsidedagain This is how I do no harm now. This is the only vow that ever mattered.
ABOUT AN HOUR LATER
,VeronafoundmecomingoutofDoc’spantryandaskedtotalkalone.
“Wouldyoumind?”shesaid,wincingathersternumwhereshe’dgottenshotinJune.
Thehealerinmesprangtolife,andInodded,forgettingeverythingelseinfavorofhelpingmycousin Weduckedintoone oftheroomsinthebacksowe’dhavemoreprivacy.
Sheclosedthedoor behindher andliftedher shirt,revealingtheten-inchscar runningbetweenher breasts Itwas angry andpurple,butotherwiselookedthesameasthelasttimeI’dseenit.
She’d beeninthe truckwithSaintand Ruwhenthe Caputis attacked Abullethad gone throughHollywood’s torso and lodgeditselfinherbreastbone.Ifhehadn’tbeenthere,shewouldhavedied.Ifithadhitatanyotherangle,inanyotherway, theybothwouldhavedied.Wegotincrediblyluckythatday.
Still,thathadbeenalmostthreemonthsago Boneinjuriesweretough,butifshestill hadthismuchpain,somethingelse waswrong.
“MayItouchyou?”IpursedmylipsasIranthroughthelikelyissues Possiblyinflammation?Wewerepastthewindow forinfection.
“Yeah,justbegentle”VeronalookedovermyheadwhileIpushedandpokedatareasaroundherscar Despitebeingpuffy andstiff,itreactedlikenormal muscletissue.Iignoredthenecklacethathunglow onher chest,atinyglassjar containinga bulletfragmentoneofmyoldcolleagueshadpulledoutofherbody.I’dcalledinafewfavorswhenshe’daskedmetogetit forher,andnowsheworeitaroundlikeatributetothenightshe’dalmostdied She’dnevertoldmethereasonshewantedit, butI’dneverasked.
“Itdoesn’tfeelanybetter?”
“No,it…it’sgettingworse.”SheshookherheadasIsteppedback,loweringherblackLedZeppelinshirtsoshecouldtuck itinto her skirt, concealingher necklace once again. “Iwake up inthe middle ofthe nightwithstabbingpains. It’s like I’m thereagain,likeI’mrollingoutofthetruckandscreamingforhelp,nearlyonthevergeofpassingout.”Shetookadeepbreath andwinced,herhandgoingtothespotoverherheartwhereitevidentlyachedthemost.“Somethingdidn’thealright.”
“Chestinjuriesaredifficult Yourribsneverstopmoving,andthosemusclessupportyourbalanceeverytimeyouwalk”I crossedmyarms,decidingshebettercheckitoutjusttobesure.“Haveyouhadyourfollow-upsatthehospital?”
Shenodded “Lastweek Thescanswerefine,butitdoesn’tfeel fine”
Ithoughtaboutotheroptions,hearingwhatshewasn’tsayingasloudlyaswhatshewas.Shortlyaftertheordeal,shehad proposedwemoveintogether.IneededabreakfromThor,andshewantedtogetoutofherbrothers’house.AftertellingThor, hehadoptedtomoveintoJer’soldroominthebasement,leavingtheprimarysuiteformeandmyoldroomforVerona.Sofar, thearrangementhadworked.ShecounterbalancedtheawkwardenergybetweenThorandme,andIappreciatedthehelpwith thebills
However,ithadmademepainfullyawareofherhabits.Likehowmanytimesshegotoutofbedtopacedownthehallway andbackupinthemiddleofthenight Orthesoftglowofthetelevisioninherroomsneakinginthroughthecracksaroundmy doorwhenshethoughttherestofthehousewasasleep.Shehadn’thadasolideighthoursinweeksandlikelylongbeforethat.
“Youneedrest,V,”Isaid.“You’vebeenrunningaroundtheselastfew weeks,helpingRuwiththereopeningandmoving intomyoldroom Whenwasthelasttimeyousleptafullnight?”
“Ican’tgetcomfortable,”shesaid.“Thepainmedsdon’tworkanymore,andIneverlikedthemanyway.Opioidsmakeme itchy”
“Haveyoutalkedtosomeone?”Iraisedaneyebrow. Shegesturedbetweenus,indicatingthis washerdoingthat. “No”Ilaughedandranafingerovermyeyebrow “Imean atherapist” “Ican’taffordthat.”Sherolledhereyes.“That’swhyI’mherewithyou.” “Well,I’masurgeon,notashrink”
She grumbledtoherselfandgave me a sidelonglook.“Why’dyoucome backhere,anyway? Weren’tyouone ofthe top peopleatTWHospital?”
Ibitmybottomlipandtriednottofidget.Shewasright.I’dgraduatedcollege,gonetothemostprestigiousmedicalschool inVirginia, and damnnear completed myresidencyatthe learninghospital. Ihad beenexpected to become one ofthe best traumasurgeonsinmygeneration I’dliketosayIflewtooclosetothesunandcareenedbacktoearthinsomeepicdisplayof malpractice,butthetruthwassomuchmorefuckedup.
Theliecamenaturally “Iburnedout BythetimeIgotwhereIwantedtobe,Iwastootiredtobethere” Shenarrowedher eyes,suspicionradiatingoutofthem.NotonlyhadIknownher sinceshewasborn,butwewerealso related Thefamilyresemblancewastoouncanny,andsheknewhowitsoundedwhenMontgomeryskeptthingsback,whenwe didn’ttelltheentiretruth.
“Besides,JerwasfuckedupoverNikki.Heneededme.”Iclearedmythroat. Shenodded,swallowinginacceptanceevenifshecouldtell therewas moretothestory Onlytwopeopleinthis world knew the truthabout that, and I aimed to keep it that way. It was one of those skeletons I locked inthe backof myheart, gatheringdust,nevertoseethelightofdayagain
“Buthe’sokaynow.”Veronanoddedtowardthefrontoftheclubhouse.“Jer…andThor.”
Shewasright.JerwashappilymarriedtoAlba.Thorwas…well,stillThor.Itwasunlikelyhe’deverchange.Ruwaswith Saint,finallyrevealingtheirtorridaffairtoherfather.Myfamilywassurviving,andIdidn’ttrustit.Somehow,someway,the othershoewasabouttodrop.Iknewitinmybonesthewaysomepeopleknewitwasabouttorain.Ineededtostayalert,on mygame,preparedtoact
“Sowhendoyougetwhatyouneed?”Veronaraisedherdarkeyebrowsandpursedhermatchinglips.
Isnorted,gesturingattheThanksgivingDayrevelryhappeningontheothersideofthewall “Whatdoyoumean?Can’tyou seeI’moverjoyedwithgratitude?”
“Right.”Shechuckledinobviousdisbelief.“Ilivewiththetwoofyou,Sel.Iseethoseyearninglooks.Ihearthehushed conversations.Beoutwithitalready.LikeSaintandRu.Fuckwhateveryoneelsethinks.”
“It’snot It’sneverbeenlikethat.”Ishifteduncomfortably,abrickforminginmygutthatIhadnodesiretoexplain.“He’s ouruncle”He’dmarriedheraunt,too
Veronasighed.“Ifhe’souruncle,thenI’mthequeenofthefuckingworld.”
Shedroveherpointhomewithonemoresnarkylookbeforeturningtoheadbacktothefront,thechainsonherskirtjingling while she walked. Whenshe opened the door, Thor stood onthe other side ofthe hallway, leaningagainstthe wall while a dark-hairedhang-aroundsmiledupathimwithheartsinherbabyblueeyes.
The fucking menace
“Hiya, Uncle Thor.”Veronagavemeonelastlookoverhershoulderbeforehissingatthehang-aroundloudenoughtomake thepoorgirljump ShebackedawayfromThorashesighed “Knockitoff,V.”Thenhelookedinsidetheroomandsawmestandingthere.
Oureyeslockedforoneheartbreakingsecondbeforethedoorshutandseparatedusagain
Theurgetothrow itopen,grabthatbitchbyherfilthyhair,anddragherdownthehalltostompherstupidfaceinrattled throughmybody.Buthow couldIblamehim?Hadn’tIdonethesamething?Martyhadn’tbeenanythingmorethananightof sexbeforehewenthomefourstatesaway,butIrealizedhowscrewedIwas I’dwantedtolikeit,buteverytimeIhadclosed myeyes,I’dseenanangrygunmetalstare,andthefunhadstopped.
Thortriedtohidehispossessiveness,buthehadn’tbeenverygoodatit Maybeitwasmyturntomopearoundandslam doors and throw wrenches inthe garage. Instead, Istood there, pretendingthe sightofhimwithsomeone else didn’tsting. I closed my eyes, swallowing the rising anguish in my throat, breathing down the chemicals ricocheting through the neural pathwaysinmybrain.
I don’t love him. Not like that. I don’t. I swear I don’t.
Ishouldhavebeenashamedofmyself NotthatI’devergottenalongwithAuntGemma,butshewouldbeatthelivingfuck outofmeifsheknewIfeltthisway,thatIwantedthethingsIdidaboutherhusband.
She’s dead, adarkvoicewhispered Dead people don’t have opinions
Iwenttomysafespace mymental library.Here,noonecouldtouchme.Here,nostupidalphaassholescouldhurtme. ThishadbeenatrickmyfatherhadtaughtmewhenIwasachild,howtocompartmentalizethethingsthathappenedtome.It hadgottenmethroughthetraumaofhisdeathandthehorrificexperienceofadolescenceasanorphan.Now,Ifiledawaythis memorywiththerest.
Ifoundthemental bookwhereIcontainedthethingsrelatedtomydeadaunt’shusband.Itrattledonanuppershelf,thick andleather bound,thesamegunmetal color ashiseyes.Iopenedthecover anddumpedeverythingfromtodayinside,all the pain, all the desperation, all the years of fucked-up yearning Yes, he was technically my uncle, and yes, I shouldn’t technically wanthimthewayIdid,butfuck,noneofthatsoothedtheacheinmychest.Ihatedmyselfbecauseofit.
If he wanted to fuck a hang-around, he should, partofmesaid
Iforcedthatvoiceinthere,too,andwatchedtheimagesofourtimetogetherplayoutonthepageslikeamoviescreen,like Iwasremovedfromit,likeithadhappenedtoafamousactorinsteadofme Justlikethat,thetensioninmychestcleared My brainfogdissipated.Icouldbreatheagain.
Morefocused,Iopenedthedoor,expectingtoseeThorandthegirlmakingout,buttheymusthavealreadyfoundadifferent roombecausethehallwaywasempty Hisbookrattledharder Iignoreditandwalkedthroughthechaosoftheclubhouse,out intothefreshautumnair.
BythetimeIgothome,Iwasexhausted,butIstillhadafewthingstodobeforeIwenttosleep ThorandVeronawouldbe atthe clubhouse until the wee hours ofthe morning, so Ihad the place to myself. After Ishowered and grabbed a bottle of expensivewhiskey,Iputonapairofgymshortsandawhitetanktopandwenttomycloset,slidingallmyclothestooneside soIcouldgothroughmyresearchagain.I’dprintedouteverythingIhadonNikkiandpinneditupsoIcouldseethebird’s-eye view.
Drinkingdownthree full swallows, Iwinced againstthe burnand sighed atthe warmthsettlinginmygut Myattention caughtonthemostrecentpictureofNikki atabar,hangingall overhernew boyfriendandthrowingdownhundredslikeshe wasmadeofmoney Wherethehell wasshegettingthecashfrom?Andwherewasherchild?Sheshouldbetotingarounda one-year-old.NewGuywaskneedeepinsomebullshithedidn’tevenknowhewasswimmingin,whichmadethisevenmore dangerous.Shewashidinginawolf’sden,thoseassholeshavingopeneduptheirtrusttoherforsomegod-awfulreason.
AndwhereweretheCaputis?Weretheystillafterher?Theyhadgivenheratestofloyaltythatnight killRu.KillVerona. Killthemall.She’druninstead.IfIwereGabriellaCaputi,I’dbeoutforherfuckingguts.Andyet,thereshewas,livingher bestlifeoutintheopen,notbotheringtokeepalowprofile IfIfoundher,certainlytheRosesandtheCaputishad,too WhataboutthisluckyJudashadmadehersoindestructible?
AbookonamentalshelfItriednottovisitrumbled,oneI’dletgrowdustyanddecaywithage No,Ididn’tgodownthat aisleanymore,notinalongtime.Butinmyweakestmoments,Iwonderedifitwasthatscreamingbookthathadkeptmefrom goingafter her up until now. Ipointed myfinger atthe Roses and screamed cowardice, butI’d had a few weeks to settle it myself,andIhadn’t.
Takinganotherswigofwhiskey,Icursedthesideofmethatdelicatelyheldmybleedingheart.
THOR
“B
rothers,”Crowsaid,standingattheheadofthetable “Thetimehascometomakeadecision Iknowit’sThanksgiving, buttheCaputicocksuckerswaitfornoone.”
Isatinmynormal spotnextto Aris, watchingas the restofthe club milled around inthe background, lazyfromthe big dinnerbutlookingforwardtotherevelryafterthemeeting.KC,Bear,andHollywoodstoodinacornertowardthebackwith Saint,theirarmscrossedandtheirseriousscowlssetbetweentheireyebrows.
“Weknowwhatbroughtushereisawarthathasshapeddamnneareverypartofourlives,”Crowcontinued “We’velost brothersandoldladies,goodmenandwomenthatthiswardidn’tneedtostealfromus.”
Iclearedmythroatasamemoryofmybestfriend,Trojan,passedthroughmymind He’dgivenhislifetoprotectKC’sold ladylastyear,andImissedhimeveryfuckingday.
“GabriellaCaputiiscomingundone,”Crowsaid Lastyear,KChadkilledthekingpin,BenitoCaputi,Gabriella’shusband andLeo’suncle,leavingahugevoidforsomeoneintheCaputifamilytofill.LeoandGabriellahadbeenfightingforituntil we’dabductedthedrugged-uppsychoafewmonthsago.“ThosethatwereloyaltoLeoarereluctanttofallinlinewithher,and herownfactionisfraying She’sdesperate,whichwillmakeherreckless Weneedtobeonhighalert”
“What’stheplanforourhouseguest?”oneofthebrothers,Wheels,shoutedfromtheback.
“He still isn’t talking,” Doc said, rubbing at his dark beard before leaning forward to rest his forearms on the table “Despitereceiving…excessive…medicaltreatment.”
“LeaveLeoCaputitome,”Crowsnapped,shootingaglareatDoc.“Iknowhowtogetthroughtohim.”
“Andafterthat?”Wheelscontinued.“Arewejustgoingtokeephimaround?”
“Thatdependsonwhathehastosay,”Arissaid,effectivelyshuttingupthepeanutgallery.
“Iknow youwantyour vengeance,” Crow added, glancingaround atthe gathered members ofhis family, the proverbial kingbeforehispeerage.“You’vegottenrestless,butI’monlyaskingforafewmoreweeks.Ifwe’repatient,wemightbeable tousehimtoouradvantage”
Murmurs rose from within the group. “Waited long enough” and “slit their fucking throats” and “if he’s this weak now… ”
“Ifthere’sdissent,speakitloudenoughformetohearit,”Igrowled,forcingmyselftomyfeet.Mypresencekepteveryone inline,remindingthemwehadahierarchicalorderhereforareason.Iftheyhadanopinion,theymadeitknownortheyshut their fucking mouths Crow’s hesitation had fuck all to do with being weak If anything, his restraint might be one of the strongestthingsabouthim.He’dlostalotinthiswar,too awife,bothsiblings,andnearlyhisdaughter.We’dalllostpeople. Iunderstood their bloodlust, butIwouldn’thave themsowingthe seeds ofmutinyindarkcorners Bestto show their damn facessowecoulddealwiththemnow.
“Weshouldhavekilledhimalready,Prez,”someonesaid.“Thisisgettingold.”
“Iagree,”saidDoc,givinganoncommittalshrug
“GabriellathoughtshecouldgetaheadofusbymakingadealwiththeCanadians,butaftertheoneImadewiththecartel, she’sgotnosuppliestosell,”Arissaid “She’supshit’screekwithnoliferaft IfsheneedsLeotocalmthingsdown,thenwe needhimtocreatechaos.”
Thatgotahumofapproval
“Iwanttohearwhatourinformanthastosay,”saidourtreasurer,Coins,glancingatSaint.Foroverayearnow,thequiet brother had been in contact with someone inside the Caputi network, and the knowledge they’d given to us had proved instrumentalinlayingsiegetoGabriella’splans
Sainttookastepcloserandclearedhisthroat.“She’sclosetoLeo.Shewantsconfirmationhe’saliveandhealthybefore she’lltellusanythingelse”
“Fuck,”KCmurmured,runninghishandoverthebackofhisneck.
“Giveittoher Takeapicture,Idon’tcare”Crowranhisfingersthroughhisdarkhair,thebagsunderhiseyesheavyand pronounced.Thestressworeusalldown,butnonemoresothanhim,thepatriarch,thelinkholdingitalltogether.“Thenfind
outwhat’sgoingon.”
Theroomfellsilent,butatleastsomeofthetensionhadeased.
Afterwe’ddiscussedtherestofthetopicsontheagenda,includingtheupcomingcharitydriveforChristmas,Arisbanged his rings onthe table to announce the end ofthe session. “All right, youfuckers. Churchis over. Butdon’tforgetaboutthe Beacon’sgrandreopeningtomorrow Y’allbetterfuckingbetheretosupportmylittlegirl”
SomeoftheolderbrothershadanissuewithwatchingtheyoungerMCprincessesowntheirsexuality,especiallyknowing AlbaandRuranacamsiteandVhadstartedworkingattheBeaconwhenitwasstill astripclub Inalifewhereanyofus couldbekilledanysecond,flashingalittletitsandassseemedlikeastupidthingtoworryabout.Iwasproudofthemforwhat they’ddone,andIcouldn’twaittoseewhatthey’dgoontodo.So,hellfuckingyeah,myasswouldbeplantedatthebarfor RuandV’sbignight
Arisdidn’twaitaroundtotalktoanyone,justbarreledtowardthebackrooms,laughingastwohang-arounds methimat oneofthedoorsanddraggedhimbehindit Itookadeepbreathandletitoutthroughmynose,shiftingmyfocustoSaint He’d alreadysaidhisgoodbyestohisbuddiesandfoundRuoutfront,wrappinghisarmsaroundhertorsosohecouldleandownto whisperinherear Whateverhesaidmadehergiggleandturntowardhimtokisshim
I might have to say something soon.
Ifiled thatawayfor later dissection. Ifmysuspicions aboutSelene were true, thenwe had to pull the trigger onNikki sooner rather thanlater She hadn’tcome up inconversationina while, largelydue to Leo’s massive presence, butIknew Selenebetterthananyoneelseonthisplanet.Shewouldonlywaitsolongbeforeshetookmattersintoherownhands.Being morestubbornthanafuckingmuleraninherfamilyafterall,andCrowwouldknowthatbest “WeneedtotalkaboutNikki,”Icutin,leaningforwardsoIcouldputmyelbowsonthetableandkeepingmyvoicelow. “Whatabouther?”Crowraisedhiseyebrows.
“It’stimewetookcareofit.”Iclearedmythroat,meetingtheMCpresidentintheeye.“Wecan’tkeepputtingitoff.She’s aratandweneedanexterminator.”
Crowwavedahandandshookhishead “She’sontherun” “She’sstill athreat.”Sliptwirledacigararoundbetweenhisforefingerandthumbbeforesuckingbackonit,makingthe embertipburnabrighttangerineorange WhenCrow’sgazecuttohim,Slipshruggedandpursedhislips “Justsaying”
“Castor’sonit,”Crowsaid.“She’srunningfromtheCaputis,hidingoutwithanMCinBuffalo.”
“Thatdoesn’tnegate the factshe knows a lotofour secrets,” Iargued. “She grew up around us. She’s beenaround this clubhousesinceshewasinpigtails.Fuck,she’sthereasonTrojanisinafuckingurninsteadofsittingatthistable.”
“Whatareyousuggesting?”Crowraisedhiseyebrows.“IcanbarelysparethemanpowertowatchLeo,muchlesssenda hitsquadafterafuckingsnitch”
“Hey,”Icutin,holdingupmyhandslestthealphastartgrowlinginmydirection.“Noonesaidwearingthecrownwould beeasy That’swhyI’mnotthefuckingpresident”
“Ifshe’s fuckingone ofthe members, Ican’taskthemto hand her over. Thatwill startanother war.” Crow pinched the bridgeofhisnose,rubbinghisfingersoverhistiredeyesbeforelettingoutadeepsigh.“Iagreethatwehavetodosomething, butuntilIhaveasolidplan,Ican’tbringittotheclub”
“Iknow youfeel somesortofwaybecauseofthebaby.”Slipsighed,shiftinguncomfortablyinhis seat.“Trustme,Ido, too Ihatetomakeanyoneanorphan,especiallysoyoung”
“There’snosayingwehavetokillher,”Isaid.“SheandLeowereclose.Maybewecanuseheragainsthim.”
“Stop,”Crowcutin “Just stop Iknowshe’sgottago,okay?Letmethinkoftherightwaytodoit”
Sure thathe would follow throughonhis word, Igave hima firmnod and finished mydrinkbefore placingthe tumbler backonthetable.
“Hey, getthe fuckoutofhere, yeah?” Crow nodded to the festivities goingonaround us Some ofthe hang-arounds had started dancing in the open space out front, and Bear currently had two girls on his lap, one on either leg, leaning in and whisperinginhisears “It’sThanksgiving Gomakemerryandallthatshit”
Ibarked outa laughand pushedto myfeet, shamingmyselfover the factthe onlymerryI’dgettonightwouldbe whenI wenthomeandblatantlyignoredtheonepersonthatheldmyattentionthesedays
For fifteenlongyears, I’d told myselfthatSelene was off-limits, and notjustbecause she was Gemma’s niece. Yeah, it walkedaspeciallineoffuckedupthatI’ddevelopedthiswhatever-it-waswithsomeonesocloselyrelatedtomydeadwife, butIwasafuckingidiotinsomanyotheruniqueways,too
Infact, protectingSelene had beenone ofmymainreasons for agreeingto the marriage inthe firstplace. Gemma and I hadn’tbeeninlove,andwedidn’thaveanydedicatedcommitmenttoeachother ItwasanotheriteminalonglistofthingsI’d donefortheclub.WhenCrowaskedmeifI’dbewillingtomoveinwithhissistertoguardherandhisfamily,Selene’sbright bluegazehadbeentheonlythingflickeringthroughmymindwhenIsaidyes.KChadtherestoftheclubtokeephimsafe,and Gemmahadherparadeoflovers.WholookedafterSelene?Whoprotectedher?
ThedayI’ddecideditwouldbeme,IletmyselfintoGemma’splaceatherrequesttopickupSeleneandbringhertothe
clubhouse,butIstumbledintoanightmare.Selenewassixteenatthetime,angryattheworldforstealingherparentsfromher toosoon.She’dbeendatingsomepieceofshitlosernamedBillythatbeatthehelloutofheratleastoncethatIknew about. KChadpromisedtodecapitatehimifheputhishandsonhissisteragain,buteventhethreatoftheRoseshadnotdeterredhim WhenIwalkedin,thesoundsofSelene’sscreamingreverberatedfromtheback.
Fireinmyblood,IracedthroughthehallwaytodiscoverBillyholdingherdownwhileheruttedinbetweenherlegs She shovedathim,butitwasnogood.Heoutweighedherbyatleasteightypounds.
Ididn’tthink Justreacted
I had himunder me, pounding my fists into his face, before I could process my actions. Then, I dragged himoutside, grabbedmysledgehammerfromthebedofmypickup,andbroughtitdownonhisskullinasickeningcrunch,onlytobringit backup and do itagain Over and over and over Ionlystopped to realize the consequences ofmyactions whenmyhands trembledandIwas coveredinhis blood.I’dall butmade goodonKC’s threat,exceptI’dbeathis fuckingheadinwiththe reasonIgotmynickname
“Please,”Selenehadwhispered,herbruisedeyesalmostswollenshut,herlipsbloodyandcracked,streaksofherassault runningdownherlegs “Pleasedon’ttellthem”
Aswehauledhisdisgustingbodyintomytruckanddrovehimtothefarm,IdecidedIcouldn’tturnmybackonher.Killing Billytosaveherhadmarkedherasmineinsometwisted,fucked-upway,andIwouldprotectheruntilshecoulddoitherself. I’dteachherhow tofight,how toshoot,how totrackherkill until themostopportunetimetopounce I’dteachherpatience andcontrol,whatittooktobeasoldier,soshe’dneveragainfindherselfinthepositionofhavingtogritherteethandbearthe torturejustbecauseshedidn’tknowhowtostopit
This, ofcourse, had backfired onme. Selene was incrediblyintelligent, perhaps the smartestpersonIknew. She was a teacher’swetdream,andwhenshesurpassedmeinskill,Itoldmyselfitspoketomyacumenasaninstructor,ratherthanmy lackthereofasasoldiermyself.I’dspenttenyearsasaNavySEAL.Icouldhitaquarterfromfivehundredyardsaway.Once uponatime,I’dbeenthemostskilledsniperinmyquadrant.
Now,whenshecalledherselfmysecretweapon,shewasn’tbeingfacetious Everywordsmackedofthetruth
WHEN I GOT HOME,Ifocusedonthelightatthefarendofthehallway,asofthazyorangeechoingfromunderherdoor Itold myselftogodownstairsandforgetthismorning’ssparringsessionhadeverhappened.ButthatlookinhereyeswhenIpinned heragainstthetreehauntedme hungerlacedwithdesire,awantonfurythatbloomedtolifewhenwetouched Icouldn’thave her.Icould never haveher,butfuck,whatIwouldn’tgivetomakeherlookatmelikethatwhileIwasburieddeepinsideher. SheprobablythoughtIwasfuckingthathang-around,andmaybeitwasbetterthatshedid Maybesheshouldrunoffandbe withthatMartyfuck,whoeverthehellhewas.Aslongashedidn’tabuseher,aslongasshewashappy.Iswallowedbackthe ragingenvythatslitheredupmythroatandforcedmyselftounclenchmyhands.
She’s Gemma’s niece She’s Crow’s niece She’s your niece Back the fuck off, Erickson Ahfuck,maybeIwasamasochist,becauseIwalkeddownthathallwayregardlessofthereasonsIdrewabigfuckingline betweenus
Heartpounding,Itookadeepbreathandknockedtwiceonherdoor.
“Sel?”Iputmyhands onthedoorjambabovemyheadtogivethemsomethingtodowhileIwaited.Iwas afraidifIlet themhang,they’dtakeituponthemselvestotwistopenthehandleandstorminside.
Shedidn’tanswer,butthefloorboardscreakedasshetiptoedcloser,theshadowsofherbodymovinginthelightbelowthe door
“Ididn’t ” Icutmyselfoffand cleared mythroat, myvoice low and gravelly, givingawayhow carefullyIwanted to wordmysentence “I’mnotfuckingthehang-around”
“Idon’tcare,”shesaid,anobviouslie.I’dseenthehintofbetrayal inherwidegazeasthedoorclosed.“Fuckwhoyou want.”
Ilaughed and rolled myeyes ather indignantresponse. Thatwas our fuckinggame, wasn’tit? We lived to tormenteach other.
“Openthedoor”ItcameoutmorelikeacommandthanIintended,butIheldmyground,waitingtoseeifshewoulddeny me.
Slowly,thehandletwistedandthedoorcrackedopen,revealingmygorgeouswildcatleaningupagainstthewall,sliding her sultrygazeover me.Gods,shewasbeautiful bigblueeyesandlongdarkhair shekeptupinamessybun.Tonight,she woreatanktopandapairoftinyshortsthatbarelycountedasmorethanunderwear.Ididn’tgiveafuckwhatshecalledthem Iwantedtoripthemoffandsinkmyteethintothejuicyfleshunderneath Fuck. Stay focused, Erickson.
Shetiltedherchinup,staringatmewithrebellionechoinginhereyes,andI’dswearthatwasoneofthethingsIadmired
themostabouther.Sheneverbackeddownfromme,andIneverwantedherto.
“Yes?”shesaid,hervoicecrackingattheendofthesyllable.
Shetriedsohardtobestrongandtoughinfrontofme,butIsawdowntotheshaking,terrifiedwomanunderneath She’d beenhidingsomethingforthebetterpartofthelastmonth,andeventhoughIsuspectedithadtodowithNikki,Ididn’tknow exactlywhatitwas Iintendedtofindout.
Amusedbyherattemptednonchalance,Iraisedaneyebrowandtriedtostepforward,hopingtousemypresencetomove her back. She didn’tbudge, and thattoo delighted me because itsaid somethingabouther. Whatever she wanted to keep to herself,whatevershewasplanningtodoaboutNikki,shealreadyhaditfiguredout.Itwasinthisroomsomewhere probably herclosetorherunderweardrawer
Staringupatmewithsuchdefianceinhereyes,shelookedlikeafuzzylittlekitten,likesomethingthatwouldswatatme withhertinyclawsbutbarelydrawblood ButIknewthetruth Shewasalion sharp,vicious,andterrifying I’dtrainedher thatway.
“Ijustthoughtyoushouldknow,”Isaid,droppingdowntoalmostawhisper Shelaughedoutasardonicnoise.“Why?You’venevercaredhowIfeltaboutwhoyoufuckedbefore.”
“MaybeIcarenow.”Ibrushedastraypieceofherdelicatehairbehindherear.Gods,wasthereanyonemoreradianton this fuckingearth? Ifthere was, I’d never seenthem Fire burstto life inher cheeks, and Ipretended like thatresponse had nothingtodowithmytouch.No,shewasdefinitelyhidingsomething.Ipickedupthescentofherbullshitamileaway. “Yeah,right”Sheshovedmychest,perhapsthinkingIwasfuckingwithher Iwasn’t, and Igrabbed her wrists to haul her closer to me, her soap mixingwithher freshfeminine scentto assaultmy nose.Fuck,shealwayssmelledsogood likeflowersinthemoonlightandfreshcitrus. Shegaspedandglanceduptomeetmygazewithastartledoneofherown.
Iusedhersurpriseagainsther.“OrmaybeIwantedtowatchyousquirmwithjealousybecauseitgivesmesickpleasure.” Selenestruggledagainstme,notputtinginmuchofafight,justenoughtotellmeshewasseriouswhenshesaid,“Fuckoff, Erickson.”
Thatgotmyattention,andIwidenedmygaze,curlingmylipsintoaknowinggrin “Makeme,Montgomery” Fuck yeah. Ilovedwhenshefoughtback.
Sheclenchedherjawasthewayssheplannedtodefendherselfechoedbehindhergaze.She’dkneemeinthegutandrun, butsheknewI’dchaseher.Oh,Ialwayschasedher.Ifuckinglived tochaseher.
“Whatdoyouwant?”shemurmured,thewordsentirelytoosoftandvulnerableforhowhardshecouldfight.
Asmallburstofhappinesshitmeinthechestwhensherelented,andIpushedussowewereinherroombeforekickingthe doorclosedbehindme.Shejumpedwhenitslammedshut,herheartratekickingevenhigher.
“Weneedtotalk”Sobering,Ilethergoandtookastepback,mysmilestillinplacewhileIglancedaround,lookingfor anyclues.I’dtrainedhertobegoodaboutcleaningupafterherself,buteveryonemademistakes.
“About?”Herhandstrembledsofuckinghard,itmusthavevibratedhermolars,andsheclenchedherfingersintofiststo hideit
Iturnedtofaceher.“Ithinkyouknow.”
Shetrainedherfacialexpressionintoacool,stoiccalmness,onethatmeantshe’dcompartmentalizedwhateveritwasthat I’dinterrupted.Sheknewwherethisconversationwasheadingandhadpreparedherselftoliethroughit.
I see you, Montgomery I see you
“Whyhaveyoubeensodistractedattraining?”Usingmyheightagainsther,Iputmyhandsbehindmybackandtookastep forward.Shehadn’tmovedfromherspotbythedoor,stillashiveringlittlethingwaitingtobedevouredbythebigbadwolf.
“Oh,Idon’tknow Maybemybestfriendalmostgettingmurderedaftermybrother’sweddinghadalingeringeffect,”she said.“Orthefactwehaven’tkilledthepersonresponsible.Ormaybeit’sbecauseI’mstillexpectedtotreathimlikeahuman despiteallthehorribleshithe’sdonetomyfamily”
Thosewereflimsyexcuses.Shehadsurvivedworsewithmuchlesscomplaint,butIcouldseehowthesethingsmightpile up,oneaftertheother Itcouldbestressful PerhapsIhadunderestimatedhowmuchshecouldtake PerhapsthethingsI’dbeen seeingweresignsofstressratherthatanill-advisedrevengeplottotakeoffafterawomanwho’dbetrayedus.
Itookanotherstepcloserandassessedher.“Doyouneedabreak?”
“It’llpass”Sheranherfingersoverherface,rubbinginexhaustionasshemovedaway Crowdingher against the door, I grabbed her wrists to pull themaway. I needed to see her eyes whenshe responded. “That’snotananswer”
“No,”shesaid,grittingherteethandblinkingquickly.“Idon’tneedabreak.”
“Thenwhat’sgoingonwithyou?”Themoreshelied,theharderherpulsepoundedagainstmyhand,damnnearsmacking meinthefacewithherdishonesty.Wedidn’tkeepsecretsfromeachother,notlikethis.Wereveledinthefilthtogetherever sinceshewatchedmebeatBilly’sfacein.
“Itdoesn’tconcernyou,”shegrowled.
“Bullshit.” I closed the distance betweenus, loweringmyforehead to hers so I could breathe her indeep, memorizing everydamnnote “Yourheart’sflutteringlikeahummingbird’s You’relying”Igrippedherharder,makingherwince “Tellme thetruth.”
She didn’tsayanything, juststared backatme withthathaunted lookinher gaze Heatradiated offher tanned skin, her bodyflushedupagainstmine,remindingmeofhowI’dtuckedmythighupagainstherpreciouspussyearliertoday.I’dstared downathermouth,justlikeIwasdoingnow,andI’dwantedtotearandtasteand take I’dwantedtoripopenher leggings, dropmygymshortstomyankles,andplungemyselfsofarinsideherthatI’dforgetmyownname.
Standingtherewithherbetweenmeandthebedroomdoor,Ifoundmyselfwantingthosesamethingsagain.Icouldn’twant them I shouldn’t wantthem She was somuchyounger thanme (only ten years) andshe was mydeadwife’s niece (a dead wife is still dead). Therewereathousandreasonswhyitwasfuckedupandwrong,butnoneofthosethingsstoppedthemoan frombarrelingovermytonguewhenshepusheduponhertoesandcollidedherlipswithmine Timefroze.
Allthoughtsinmyheadcametoastop Thetouchsizzleddownmyspineandupthebackofmyhead,warmingeverynerve inmybody.Myheartpoundedagainstmyribcageinaparalyzingrhythmthatsentajoltofluststraighttomyballs.Withmy fingers itchingto burythemselves betweenher legs, Igroaned againstthe scentofher wetcuntas itsurged up betweenus, makingmymouthwater Fuck.
Ibuckedmyhipsagainsther,mycockjerkingtolife,desperateformoreattention I’dwhackedofftofantasiesthatstarted likethismoretimesthanI’deveradmit.Theworstpartofme,thebeastthatIkeptmuzzledandlockedaway,stretchedawake, rakingitsclawsdowneverylastbitofrestraintIhadleft.
This is a distraction.Ismackedmybeastbackintoplace.Icouldn’tgivein,andIcouldn’tlosefocus.Inplaceoftelling me the truthor lyingto me again, she’d kissed me. I should be furious. I should be so Gods damned angrywithher that I couldn’tseestraight But,forthesamesickreasonI’dbeendenyingforyears,Iwantedmore
Iprided myselfonmyalcohol tolerance, and four swallows ofwhiskeywould hardlymake me inebriated, butcombined withtheexhaustionoftryingtostayawayfromhim,Icouldn’tlieanymore.Tremblingandunabletosayanythingwithout revealingmyself,IfellbackonthestupidestadviceI’deverheard Awoman’s best asset is the one between her legs. Fortherestofmylife,thiswouldbemybiggestregret.I’dalwaysimaginedthatthefirsttimeIkissedThorwithanyreal desire would be romantic and passionate, bornoutoffinallygivinginto the obvious chemistrybetweenus Butas Ipushed myselftomytoesandcrushedmymouthtohis,IlamentedthatI’ddoneittothrowhimoff. Hewouldbefuriousaboutthis,andIwoulddeserveit
Amoanpouredoutofhimanddownmythroat,curlingmytoesasthevibrationricochetedthroughmybloodstream.Icould smellhowmuchIwantedhim,howwetIwasgetting,andItrembledknowingthathecould,too
What are you doing?! Thelogicalsideofmethrashedandscreamed,mortificationtakingover.Anysecond,hewouldend this.Hewouldpushmedownandstepaway,givingmethesamelookofdisapprovalhedidwhenIfuckedupduringasparring session Mycheeksburned,andIslidmyhandsuphischesttohisneck,wrappingmyarmsaroundhimtopullhimcloser Thatseemedtobreakhimoutofhistrance.Hegrabbedmyelbowsandunhookedhimselffrommyembrace,endingthekiss sohecouldstaredownatme Buttherewasn’tdisapprovalinhisgraystare
No, I saw the brutal side of him, the same manthat had killed for me, that’d taught me how to kill for myself. Fingers shakingandheartthumping,Iwaitedforhimtoreact,waitedforhimtostormoutofmyroomandchidemefordaringtobreak theunspokenrulebetweenus.
He shot his hand to mythroat, startlingme enoughto make me jump, and pushed me backagainst the wall, rubbinghis thumb againstmythunderingpulse ina caress thatechoed throughmybodyto the throbbingache inmycunt Thor chuckled darkly, anobvious threat. He was onto me, and now that I’d revealed myself insucha sloppydisplayof desperation, he plannedtotakeadvantageofit
“Whatthefuckdoyouthinkyou’redoing?”Heshookhisheadandtsked,twistinghislipsintoadangeroussmile.I’dseen thislookbefore,rightbeforehesankhissledgehammerintosomeonewhoneededkilling.I’dtrulyfuckedup,andforthefirst time,Iwasalmostscaredofhim.Thorwouldneverhurtmepermanently,butourentirerelationshiphadbeenbuiltonaneverendingcycleofmind-numbingpainmixedwithall-consumingangst.Ididn’tknowwhatwouldhappennext,andapartofme, thenastyfuck,thrummedwithexcitement
“DoyouthinkyoucankissmeandI’llforgetaboutalltheweirdshityou’vebeenupto?Hmm?”Thornarrowedhiseyes, nowfierywithhisaggression “Hidinginyourroom SneakingaroundinDoc’spantry”
Iopenedmymouthtoargue,buthegrippedmythroattighter,nearlycuttingoffmyoxygen.I’dseenwhatthosegiantpalms coulddo,andthefighterinmegiggledwithglee.GettingThorworkeduphadalwaysbeenoneofmyfavoriteactivities,and nowthatIhadthebeastlookingoutatmewithpurehedonisticattention,I’dneverbeenmorethrilled
“I’mnotsomebrainlessfuckthatthinkswithhisdick.”Hisscowlhintedatthefuryburrowedjustunderhisskin,andIused ittomyadvantage
Ishovedmyarms upandbroughtthemdownonhis elbows,breakinghis holdonme enoughthatIcouldduckunder his bodyandrun Thorhadalwaysbeenquickertoreact,andhesnakedanarmaroundmystomach,liftingmeofftheground,my backtohischest.Ikickedmylegsandstruggledagainsthimuntil heslammedmytorsodownonthevanityinthefarcorner. Ignoringtheshockthatwentthroughtherightsideofmyfaceandintomystomach,Ishovedatthewood,tryingtorightmyself, butheoverwhelmedmewithapalmonmyback,pinningmeinplace
Glaringupathiminthemirror,Isnarled,“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Youwantedafight”Hispupilshadblownout,makingthemoltengraydisappearcompletelyinthedimlightofmyroom “Nowyou’vegotone.”
Ipushedagainstthetabletopagain,buthewrestledmedown,grabbingmywristsandtwistingthembehindmesoheheld themtogetheronmylowerback.Hehadmetrappedandpanting,nearlynaked,inmyownroom,andIdidn’tknowwhetherI
wasmoreupsetorturnedon.Possiblyboth.
Asharpstingzigzaggedthroughmyscalpwhenhegrippedmyhairandforcedmetoarchfartherintohim,myeyesmeeting hisinthereflection
“Goon,”hesnarled.“Distractmeagain.”
Headjustedhisstancebehindme,makinghisthick,hardcockbrushupagainstmyass,tellingmehow muchIturnedhim on. It surprised me, and I sucked in a breath as my cunt clenched so hard that my stomach hurt. Should I be pleased or astonishedthathewashandlingmelikethis?Fuckit,Iwantedmore,hewantedmore,andthelinesbetweenushadblurredso much,Icouldn’ttellwherewe’doncedrawnthem.
Iopened mymouthto talk, buta sharp, burningslice wentthroughthe rightside ofmyass cheekas a loud, fleshyslap soundedthroughtheroom He spanked me.
Myknees nearlygave out, suddenlytremblingtoo hard to hold me up, and mytanktop twisted under me, so tight and suffocating.Iwanteditoff.Iwantedtobenakedforhim.
“Whatwasthat?”hesaid “Wereyouabouttotellmethetruth?”
Myentirebodyshook.Ididn’tknowwhattodoorsay.I’dneverbeenspankedbefore,notbymyparents,notbyalover, andcertainlyneverbyThor.Ishouldhavebeenoutragedatthedegradation,butIwasn’t.No,Iwarredwithmyselfoverhow muchIwantedhimtodoitagain Itwasfuckedup,butChrist,nothinghadeverfeltsofuckinggood
“No?Nothing?”Heraisedhishandagain,thistimebringingitdownharder,makingmewinceandnearlylosemybalance. Ipusheduponmytoes,presentingmybestpartsforhim,yearningformore
“Fuck,”Iwhispered,grimacingatthescaldingarousalpuddlinginmyunderwear.Iwasabsolutelydrippingforhim.
Another spank, this time onthe other cheek, pushed all the air outofmylungs, and he followed thatup byspearinghis fingersstraightdownthecenterofmyvulva.
Iwiltedlikeanoverwateredorchid,myentirebodyturningintoasoppingmessonthatvanity.Myhipsdugintothewood, andthere’dbebruiseslater,butfuck,thewayhiseyesshimmeredwithferalpossessionheldmethere,captivated Likenothing elseinthisworldmattered.Liketeachingmewhateverlessonthiswashadsurpassedallotherconcernsinthisworld.
“Isthiswhatyouhadinmind,huh?”hegrowled,punctuatingitwithanother deliciouslyviolentspankonmyass “When youkissedme?”Hetwistedhislipsintoasmirk,buthiseyesstillheldaglitteringamusementthatindicatedheonlypartially meantthethingshewassaying.“DidyouthinkI’dfreezeupandleaveyoualone?Youfilthyfuckingidiot.Didn’tIteachyou betterthanthat?”
“Whoknows, Uncle Thor,”Iteased,bitingmybottomlipasIheldhisstare.“MaybeIwantedagoodspanking.Everthink ofthat?”
Thatseemedtopisshimoffevenmore,andhehitmeharder,mywordsgoadinghimon.Icringedasmyskinburnedandmy pussythrobbed,mymusclesalmostunabletotolerateanymore
“Ofcourse.”HelaughedandtightenedhisgripinmyhairsohardthatIwinced,chillsshootingdownmyscalpandovermy spine.“Youalwaysgoforthejugular,don’tyou?Justlikemyfuckingwildcat.”Iwatchedhiminthemirrorwhilehespanked meagain,stingingmyalreadysorefleshandstaringatmyasslikehe’dseenamiracle “IwonderifIcouldmakeyoupurrlike akitten.”
He’dsaiditsolow thatIcouldbarelyhearit,butIdid Mynerveshadbeenlitonfireandtheburnofimminentrelease rushedthroughmyveins.
Fuck, am I about to come?
Mymusclesclenched,andImoanedasThorspearedhisfingersovermycuntagain,findingmyclitandmassagingitwhile Iarchedmyhipsuptomeethim,spreadingmykneeswidertogivehimmoreaccess.
God,thiswassowronginsomanyways Heshouldn’ttouchmelikethis Iwasagrownwoman Ididn’tneedanyoneto spankmebackintoobedience,butIsuspectedhehadlethisemotionsgetthebestofhimjustasIhad.Now,myhormoneswere takingover Ishouldhavewrestledhimoffme Icouldhaveeasilyoutmaneuveredhim,butIdidn’t,andthethoughtofthatsent meskyrocketingintomyclimax.
He worked me throughmyorgasm, slippinghis rough, callused fingers under myshorts to applythe perfect amount of pressurerighttomypantiesasmyentirebodyeruptedwitheuphoria.Ithadbeensuchalongtimesinceanyonehadmademe come,andthefacthehadwithafewminutesofimpactplayandsomemesmerizingtouchesshouldhavemademescaredthat he’druinmeforanyoneelse
Butfuckit…I’dbeenwellpastthatpointforyears.
Icollapsedintoalimppileofmushinfrontofhim,mylungsunabletogetenoughoxygenintomybloodfastenoughandmy heartbeatingso hard itechoed inmyhead. The whole fuckingthinghad beenmind-blowing, and Isecretlyhoped he’d pull downmyunderwearandstuffhimselfinsideme.Theerectionpressingupagainstmylegtoldmehowmuchhewantedit,too… untilIglancedupatThor.
Heraisedhishandsintheair,staringdownatmewithhismouthhangingopenandshockinhiswidegrayeyes.
“Fuck,”hegrowledbeforebackingawaytostormoutoftheroom,slammingthedoorshutbehindhim.
I WOKE UP ON A GASP,strugglingfor air,sweatbeadingdownmyforehead.Itwasoneofthosefuckingnightmaresagain,the onesthathauntedme,remindingmeIwasamonsterandalwayshadbeen.
Mymother’sscreamsstillechoedinmyears,thesmellofsingedfleshchokingmeasmyfatherburnedalive,thestruggling formofAuntEdietryingtogetoutoftheSUVetchedintomyretinas.Ofcourse,Ihadn’tbeentherewhenmyparentsdied,but inmanyways,myimaginationmadeitworse Didtheydieassoonasthebombwentoff?Ordidtheysufferforanagonizing periodoftimeuntiltheirbodiesgaveout?
Notthatitmatteredeitherway I’dgottenmyrevengefortheirdeathsyearsago
ShakingoffthechillfromtheNovemberairseepinginthroughmywindows,Igotoutofbedandheadedtomybathroomto getreadyforwork,wincingasmyassprotestedmymovements.Then,Irememberedwhathappenedlastnightandmycheeks burned.ThelookinThor’seyesrightbeforehelefttroubledmethemost…likehe’drealizedhowmuchhe’doversteppedand howbadlyhewantedtodosomuchmore.
IhadabriefmomentofwonderinghowinthefuckIwasgoingtofacehimtoday,but he’d beentheonewhoslammedme downonthevanityandturnedmyassvariousshadesofvioletandrose.Ifiguredwe’dbothgoonignoringthatthewaywehad everything else So I hopped in the shower to get ready for a busy weekend after Thanksgiving spent at one of the only reputablegaragesinMadisonCounty.
EventhoughBear hadaskedme toswingbyLeo’s holdingcell tosee how hewas doing,Ididn’tendupmakingitover therebeforework BythetimeIgottoRoseGarage,Thorhadalreadybarricadedhimselfinhisofficewhilemycousinbitched abouttheamountoforderswe’dtakeninfortheweek.
“He knew KC was going to be doing the Beacon thing” Bear ran his hands back through his hair and down his neck, clearlystressedtobetheonlymechanicworkinguntilHollywoodgotin.“Whythefuckwouldhetakeonthismanyorders?” Ishruggedandwentbacktomysmuttyromance
VisionsofthenightbeforeswamthroughmymindeverytimeIshiftedinmyseat,myassbruisedandsorefromhowmuch Thorhadtakenoutonme.Everytimehewalkedpastthefrontdesktogotothemechanic’sbay,thememoryofhisstronghands holdingmedownechoedacrossmymindandmylegsclenchedtogetherontheirowntoalleviatethelonging He left me afterward, Iremindedmyself. He hasn’t looked at me since. Heobviouslyregrettedit AuntGemmawouldbeappalledandmyparentsoutraged WhatlittlemoralsIhadleftscreamed atmeforkissinghim.Yeah,he’dturnedmyassred,butI’dcrossedtheboundaryfirst,andnotevenbecauseIwantedto,though Idid I’ddoneitsohe’dstopaskingmequestions Whatafucked-upthingtodotoapersonIcaredabout Afterweclosed,IwenthometoshowerandchangebeforegoingtotheBeaconforthegrandreopening.WhenIgotthere,I hadtocomplete a membershipcheckanda thoroughsecuritypatdownbefore Iwalkedthroughthe thickwoodendoors and entered into the main area Gleaming black floors greeted me, complementing the dark countertops and matching leather furniture inthe foyer. Booths lined the walls oneither side, some opento the public, some covered witha darkcurtainfor privacy Imarveledathow muchitlookedlikeanentirelynew place NotthatI’dspentmuchtimeherewhenitwas astrip club,butRuhadcompletelyoutdoneherselfnowwithturningitaround.
Amainstagejuttedoutperpendiculartothebar,whereamandressedinblackvinylwrappedalengthofthickblackrope around a muchsmaller manwithblond hair. He trembled againsta woodenX, his arms spread overhead, his legs shoulder widthapart.Thelargermanloomedoverthesmallerone,whisperingsomethinginhisearthatmadetheblondnodandhuffout adesperatelaugh
Ifound Hollywood and Lore across the room, sittingwitha few other SRMCmembers around our age, and Iwalked to theirtable,purposelyignoringthegunmetalgazethattrackedmefromaspotnearthebarassoonasIarrived
“Youmadeit!”Hollywoodputhisarmsaroundme,pullingmeintoahug.“Youmissedanawesomeneedle-playscenethat Iknow wouldagotyourmotorpurring.”
“Jesus Christ,” Lore said, rubbinga finger over his eyebrow. “Ishould have knownyou’d be into all thatshit. Me, I’m fuckingtraumatizedforlife.”
Iglanced behind the bar, thinkingI’d see Saint backthere slingingbeers, but they’d hired a whole new crew People I didn’trecognizerantheshift,andwhenIglancedatthefarend,ThorstoodwithSlipandDoc.Hecuthissteelgazetomine almostasifhesensedmelookingathimandfroze,seeminglydebatingwhattodo
The memoryofhis palmcomingdownonmyass wentthroughmymolecules again, the taste ofhis tongue inmymouth surgingdowntomypussy.Myskinburned,andIsquirmedinmyseat,refusingtowincewhenthepainonmyrear flaredup again Perhaps he couldsee mydiscomfortanywaybecause the fucker curledhis lips intoa pleasedsmile andsippedathis beer,returninghisattentiontohisbrothers.
“AlbaandKCareupstairssigningautographsandtakingpictures,”Loresaid,catchingmyattention
