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TheQualmBeforetheStorm

Copyright © 2024byLiloQuie

DigitalISBN:978-1-68361-954-3

Print:978-1-68361-945-1

Allrightsreserved.Exceptforuseinanyreview,thereproductionorutilizationofthiswork,inwholeorinpart,inanyform byanyelectronic,mechanicalorothermeansnowknownorhereafterinvented,isforbiddenwithoutthewrittenpermissionof thepublisher.

TableofContents

Prologue

ChapterOne

ChapterTwo

ChapterThree

ChapterFour

ChapterFive

ChapterSix

ChapterSeven

ChapterEight

ChapterNine

ChapterTen

ChapterEleven

ChapterTwelve

ChapterThirteen

ChapterFourteen

ChapterFifteen

ChapterSixteen

ChapterSeventeen

ChapterEighteen

ChapterNineteen

ChapterTwenty

ChapterTwenty-One

ChapterTwenty-Two

ChapterTwenty-Three

ChapterTwenty-Four

ChapterTwenty-Five

ChapterTwenty-Six

Epilogue

AbouttheAuthor

ByLiloQuieatDecadentPublishing

Raynehasneverbeenclosewithhisfamily,neverfoundloveorevensomeonewhounderstandshim.Hefindshimselfgraduatingcollegeatthetailendofanotherbad breakupandneedstogetasfarawayaspossible Athousandmilesawaysitsthemoststrikinghorsehe’severseen,andhecannotresistpettingit Nowhe’sstuckwitha god,buthe’snottoomadaboutit Especiallysincehegavehimapetchicken!

TheTempestSpirithaswanderedthisworldforoverathousandyears Hehaschangedhisskinandspeciesmoretimesthanhecancount,butnoneofhislovestendto livelong,foragod Hisworshipersgrowfewerbythedayandhethinksaboutmovingon,joiningtheskyasstorm,orasthewildmustangsthatwanderedthislandsolong ago,theirhoovesbringingthunder.Whenthemostcurioushumanshowsupinhispaddock,hethinkshemightstickaroundalittlelonger.Afterall,hecanfeeltheRayne coming

Ifyoulikeyourgodsfickle,yourwitchesplucky,androostersassmallastheyaremean,trydownloadingTheQualmBeforetheStormtoday Warning,maycontaingods,lemonbars,b*tchywitches,andaninappropriatelynamedminiatureroosterwhosesolegoalinlifeistomatethelargesthenpossible [And thatostrichislookingmightyfine.]

LiloQuie

Prologue Rayne

Guiltgnawedatme.I’daskedDylan,mymostrecentboyfriend,outforthefirsttimeinweeks.He’dbeentryingthiswhole I’m too cool routinewherehewaitedhourstorespondtocallsandtexts,neggedme,tellingmehowluckyIwastohavehim. Atonepoint,I’dfeltluckywhenheaskedmeout,butthemagicwasn’tthereanymore,andIhadalifetolivewhilehehad nothing.Hehadnocareerprospects,nogoals.Heworkedfastfoodandhadnoambitionsformanagementorbetter.Hedidn’t wantanythingbutsloth That’dbeengoodenoughformethough Untilhehadnogoalsfordevelopingourrelationship,untilI wasmerelysomethingtoputhisdickin.

Ihadadegree,fouryearsofcomputersciencewithanemphasisonsecurityandprogramming Icouldsupporttwo I’d neveradmitit,butmysideworkontheblackwebhadleftmeprettyconfidentinmyabilitytostrikeoutonmyown.Thatwas myeventualintent,anyway,long-term.Thatwasn’ttosayIdidillegalthings.Iskirtedafineline,enoughthatcopsshowingup atmyplacedidn’tconcernme Myworstnightmarehadbeenaceaseanddesist Afterall,they’dhavetoproveacrimewas committed.I’dbeencoyaboutitwithDylanandthatwasjustanotherredflag,thatIcouldn’ttrusthim.Inaway,I’dliedto him,too

Isatdownatthecornercaféandpalmedmywarmcoffee.Thecomfortingscentofcocoaandcreamsettledmysensesas Dylansatsprawledinhischair,smirking Honesttogoodness,smirking!

“Dylan.Weneedtotalk,”Istarted,buthaltedwhenDylanagreed.

“Yeah,wedo.Itwasourfour-monthanniversaryafewdaysago,andyoudidn’tgetmeanything.”Hescoffed.

“Iwasn’tawarewewereexclusivelydating Ithoughtthiswasafling,asyou’dsaidmanytimesbefore”Mywords haltedhiminhistracks,theflickerofuncertaintyinhiseyesnailinghimtothespot,meltinghiscockyfaçade.

“W-well Ithoughtthat ”

“Weshouldbreakup.Iwantsomethingexclusiveanddeeper,andIwillgraduateinamonth.Ican’tstayhereandyou’re notstableenoughtocomewithme.I’mnotreadytomoveinwithyouandsupportyouonmyown.”Ihadmyreasons.Maybe it’dmotivatehimtodobetter?“Youhavenoambitionsinlifeorinlove,andIdesiresomeonewithgoals.”

Hestaredatmeforthelongesttime,hisfaceflatandunreadable.“’Kay.”

Themonosyllabicresponsecutmeoff,thewindinmysailshalting Iexpectedsomethingalittlemore Ididn’tknow “Goodluckfindingsomeonewithadickasbigasmine.”Hestoodandstalkedoff,comingbackamomentlatertotakehis drink ThatI hadpaidfor

Ididn’thavethehearttotellhimhewasn’tthat impressive.Biggerthanme,sure,butIwasn’tparticularlygifted inthat department.Asaproudanddedicatedbottom,mycockwasahoodornamentofpleasure.Likeanygoodhoodornament,it neededmuchpolishing.Still…itbotheredmesometimes.

I’dcomehomefromworkandclassthenexteveningtofindadeadbirdnailedtomyapartmentdoor.Backthen,I’d writtenitoffasamacabreprank,butasthedrunkenemailspouredin,thethreateningtexts,the gifts Ifeltitwasnecessaryto contactthepolice.Therestrainingorder,whichhadonlyjustrecentlybeenserved,musthavebeenthecatalyst.

I’dfinishedallmyexamsforthesemester,waitingforconfirmationfromafewprojectstocomeinfromprofessors I wasn’tagenius,butifIcrossedmyfingersandprayedhard,keepingmy3.0,I’dgraduatewithhonors,or cum loudly,asDylan hadputit.Itriedtocorrecthimto cum laude,butLatinwasn’thisstrongsuit.Wasn’tmine,either.Anyway,Iwasmoreofa come quietly kindofperson

Ididn’tthinkIwantedtocomeagainforaverylongtime.Notafterthefearandbetrayalanyway.

ChapterOne

Rayne

Trouble,yetagain,foundmeinthemiddleofanother breakup Feelingshurt,hacklesraised Itwasafulldrama-island experience.Icouldn’thandleitanymore.

Ihadfamily,distantandaloofassomewere Myfatherspenttimeinthemilitary,dischargedwhenIwasinhighschool Hecamebackdifferent,notthathewasverytouchy-feelybeforeeverything.

Itseemedlike,asachild,hewasonlyaroundlongenoughtogivemymomafewsiblingsforme,butstayedgone otherwise.Idon’tthinkIeversawthemtogether,holdinghands,intimate.WhenIlefthomeforcollege,webarelyspoke,and it’donlygottenworsesince.

Iwasfortunateenoughtobeonscholarships Oneofthefewthingsmyfatherfoughtformetohave Evenso,theybarely calledme.IcalledwhenIneededmoneyatfirst,butMomhadnonetospare.

Tocareformyself,Igotajob So,whenmyphoneshutoffoneday,allIgotwasaninformalemailtellingmetopayfor myownbill.Becausemynumberbelongedtothataccount,I’dgottenanewnumberandhadn’tspokentoanyofthemunlessit wasaholiday.Theyhadwaystogetholdofme,soitwasn’tlikeI’dgoneoffthemap,atleastnotyet.

Ithinkthelackofintimacyorloveinmyfamilyreallyaffectedmyabilitytobondwithsomeone.Eitherthat,orthefearI hadofactuallycomingoutmademedistancemyself.I’dhadboyfriends,plentyofthem,butnothinglasting.Somethingbad always happened

Thissemesterhadbeenawhirlwind,cominguponmygraduation,waitingformygradestorollinastheurgetomoveon hadstruckme Dylan,theguyI’dbeenseeingcasuallyforafewmonths,couldn’tseemtocommitorgrowup,andIwantedto moveon.Easy-peasy.Right?

Wrong

Isatonthesidewalkofmyapartmentwhileafewofficersmilledabout,asannoyedwiththewholesituationasIwas Brokenglasstwinkledinthegrassnotinchesawayfromme,asliverofpinkplasticglintingup.Itriedtorememberwhat it’dcomefromandcameupblank

TosayDylantookourbreakupwellwasanoverstatement,obviously.

Afterourbreakup,heshowedupatmywork,myclasses,sentmedozensofemails,flowers,andcalls Thoseeventually devolvedintothreatswithsomeprettygraphicandtriggeringepithets.Notknowingwhatelsetodo,Ihadfiledfora restrainingorder.

Istaredattheglass,eyesunfocused Thatpinksliverofplasticmockedme,apolypropyleneshardofshame My Xbox controller… Myheartsqueezed.I’dlikedthatcontroller,despitenothavingplayedinmonths.Monthsbefore Dylan,even

“So,wereyouseeingsomeoneelseontheside,kid?Anothermalesniffingaround?”Anofficertoedmysidetogetmy attention Thegesturewasgentleandhisexpressionpatient

“Oh.No.I’mgraduatinginafewdays.Hewantedtoplayaround,andIwantedtosettledown.Ifiguredabreakupwasthe kindestthing.”Ishrugged.“Couldn’ttake no forananswer?”

“Alwayswiththedramawithyourkind,ain’tit?”Theofficersnortedashescribblednotesinanover-protectediPad “Mykind?”Myhacklesshotupandeverymuscleinmybodywenttaut.

“Collegekids”Theofficergavemeacalculatinglook,asifsuggestingmore “ButmyhusbandandIcanthrowdown occasionally,too.”Theofficerspokemorequietlyatthelastpartandthatrelaxedmequiteabit.

“Trustme,I’mwantingasfarfromthedramaaspossible.Ithoughtitwasmutual,overanddone.”That’swhatIhad wantedbutnotwhathappened.

Thepriorweekshadbeenawhirlwindunlikeanyofmypreviousbreakups.Sure,thereweretearsandangrytexts,but Dylancrossedenoughlinestogetmeano-contactorder,whichmusthavethrownhimofftheedge

Inevergavemykeystoapartner,neverwentthatlaststep,butDylanhadalmostconvincedmetogothere.Intheend,I sawredflags Inretrospect,theywerelesslikeredflagsandmorelikeaninterpretivedanceparadeofprancingunicorns wavingaboutoneredflagandbannerafteranother.Cominghomethateveninghadcementedit.

“Yougotrenter’sinsurance,kid?”Thecop,whoI’dworkedwithtogetmyrestrainingorder,glancedovertowardthe apartmentdoor.Threeofficersescortedaverynakedandveryinebriatedmanfrommyapartment.Dylandidn’tevenlooklike hehadamonthago.I’dhaveneverknownthatDylanwasondrugswhenwedated,butthemomenthehadanexcuseto,he wentforit Full Send

“Yeah.”Iwasanything,ifnotpractical.

“Alright,let’sgoinandgothroughtheplace I’llhaveanofficerhelpyoudocumenteverything Iwouldn’tcountonany restitution.Bradleyhere,hasarapsheetamilelong.”Theofficersighed,andIwinced.SomuchaboutDylan.Allthethingshe showedmewerepartofapoorfaçade.Heliedabouteverythingdowntohisname.

“I’msuchanidiot.”Ideflatedasthecopgentlycoaxedmeintostanding.

“We’veallbeenthere.Bethankfulyougotout,now.Youdon’tseetheonesthatdon’tmakeitout.”

Oh,IwasveryawarethatI’dbeenlucky “Forthereport,tellmewhathappened,beginningtoend.”Theofficerleanedinadoorway. InoddedasthecopsfinishedandIrelivedthememory,tellinghimeverything

Fumblingmykeysthatevening,Ishuffleddowntheaisleofapartmentsandhaltedwhenoneofthenoseyoldneighbor ladiesgrabbedmyshoulderonthewayin.

“Areyouokay,dear?”Herpiercing,cataract-ladengazemademeblink

“Ithinkso,Mrs.Colton.”Icouldn’tthinkofanythingbotheringmeinparticular.

“Iheardalotofsmashingandcrashinggoingon…”Shegestureddowntherow,andmyheartsank.Thedoorsatajar, crackedalongthedeadbolt.

“Thatwasn’tme.I’vebeenatworkandclassallday.”MystomachchurnedasawindowshatteredandIcranedmyhead justintimetowitnessmylaptopflyingoutofthewindow One of them anyway TheimportantoneIkeptwithme “Ohdear.Comeintomyapartment.”SheusheredmeinandwesatinsilenceasIlookedupthedetectiveI’dworkedwith togettherestrainingorder Detective Monroe?

“Rayne?”thecheerfulvoicehadasked.Inhislineofwork,whatdidheexpectmetocallfor,adate?Hehadnoright soundingthatcheery.

“Gladyourememberme Hey,Igotasituation Icamehomethiseveningandmyapartmentwasbrokenintoandhe’sstill intheredestroyingtheplace.”

Adisgruntledscreamechoedthroughthewallsoftheapartment Amuffled Dylan nearlyshookthewalls “Ohboy.Ihearit.Ishearmed?”Theofficersighedaudibly.“Hassomethingstrangehappened?”

“Iwouldn’tdarehazardtocheck,sir”Itneverhurttobepolite

“Onmyway.”Thelinewentdead.Servicewithasmile.Iwonderedhowmanyotherpeopleinmysituationgot understoodandhelped.Howmanypeopledidn’t.

Thathadbeenanhourago Withmyparthandledandtheofficersatisfied,they’dleft,promisingmetoforwardthereport Itrudgedthroughtheremainsofmyapartment.Brokenglasslitteredthefloor,upholsteryripped.Everythingpossiblehad beendestroyed

Driedstreaksofsomethingcoatedmybedroompillows. Two guesses what that stuff is. Ishudderedandcastmygaze about Literally,nothingwassalvageable Astalereekoftobaccohungintheair,andmytowelslayonthefloor,circular singedmarksthrougheveryoneofthem.He’dburnedholesinmytowels!

Foodsmashedundermyfeetintothecarpet.TheleftoverChineseI’dbeenlookingforwardto.

Aknockontherattlingdoorinterruptedmypityparty

“Knock,knock!”Mrs.Coltonshuffledinuninvitedandsniffedatthedamage.Afewneighborsfollowedinbehindher, armedwithtrashbagsandboxes

Shebrushedoffaseatonmycouchandperchedimperiously.“We’llgetyouallcleanedupasbestaspossible.Ialready calledthelandlord,andhesaidnottoworryaboutthedeposit.Theplacewasdueforrenovationsanyway,andhecanclaim insuranceonitifyousendapolicereporttohim.”Shebeamedandmyheartwarmed.

“So,doyouhaveaplacetostayforthenight?”Shesmiled.“MynephewisthemanagerofahotelacrosstownandIcan getyouoneoftheemployeeroomsfortwentybucksifyoulike”Sherestedahandonmykneebeforehesitating “Boys!Stay outofhisbedroom.Now,Rayne,gointhereandgatherupanythingyoudon’twantseen.I’dsuggestthrowingitaway.Someof thenoisesIheardwere not pleasant”

“Thanks.Iwashopingtorelaxforafewdaysbefore…headingbackhome.”Itrailedoff.Ikepttellingmyselfthatwas whatI’ddo,gobacktomyparents’house.I’dupdatedmyFacebookstatusaboutitandmymotherhadgivenitathumbs-up.I supposethatmeantsheknewIwascoming.Shedidn’trespondtomyemail,though,butthatwasn’tunusual.Itwasasgoodofa placeasanytostartmynewjob.Aone-yearcontractpart-timewithabankhadpresenteditselfwith100percentremotework. Thepaywas meh,butIjumpedonitfortheexperience Istartedinamonth I’dreasonedIwouldstayforgraduation,butthat waspointlesswhennobodywouldshowup.

OneofthementhatMrs Coltonbroughtoverleftwithafullbaglinedinabox “Allglass”HenoddedandIlethimpass IstaredatmysmashedgamingconsoleandbustedTV.Iguessitsavedmetheeffortofpackingitorsellingit.

“Pizzawillbehereinthirty.Yougogetallthethingsyoucan’tlivewithout.”Sheshooedmeofflikeachastenedchildand Ipushedintomybedroom,thedoorhangingbyonehinge

Aspredicted,mysextoyswerescatteredabout,oneofthemwithastrangelyhuman-tooth-shapedchunkmissingfromit. Thescentofurinemademyeyeswater,andIwonderedwhatthehellhe’dbeenconsumingtosmellthatbad Asparagus cigarettes?

Myclothes?

Ruined.

Mydeodorantsurvived…Thatwasaplus.IpickeditupandstuffeditintooneofthetrashbagsthatMrs.Coltonhad broughtover

Igatheredupmymoreintimateitemsandthrewtheminatrashbag.IfeltlikeIneededglovesformystuffatthatpoint. Inmybathroom,Isidledinamidmorebrokenglassandnotedmytoothbrushinthetoilet Nice BythetimeIcalledmyself closetobeingfinished,Mrs.Coltonserenadeduswiththepromiseofpizza.She’dorderedenoughtofeedasmallarmy,andby thecomingandgoingofrandompeopleinthecomplex,I’dguessedthere was asmallarmy

“Alright,dear,youhaveeverythingyouneed?”ShepattedmyshoulderasIswallowedamouthfulofpizzatoohard. “Yes,ma’am.”YoucouldtaketheboyoutofOhio,butnevertaketheOhiooutoftheboy.

“Goodboy Getgoing Youhavemynumberifyouaremissinganything,butifhemakesbailortheyhavetolethimgo,I don’twanthimfindingyouhere.Withhowourpolicework,he’llbeoutbymorning.”Sherolledhereyes.Itwasunfortunately commoninthelargercitiesthesedays Theovercrowdedprisonsleftlittleroomforwhattheydeemedtobe“smalloffenders” Igatheredmythingsandgaveheralingeringhug.IwantedtosayI’dbebacktovisit,butIknewIwouldn’t.Asifshe knewwhatIwasthinking,Mrs Coltongavemeawinkandpattedmyshoulder “Iprobablywouldn’tbealivestillwhenyou cameback.Buttrustanoldwoman’sintuition.Mygrandmotherwasaspiritualwoman ”

“Religious?”Ihesitated.Mrs.Coltonneverhitmeassomeonethatwouldstartbiblethumping.

“Inaway Youknowhowcarbonateddrinkscomeinalldifferentflavors,butwecallthemall Coke?”Shedrummedher fingersonherknees,thebonyknucklesclicking.

“Yeah Iguess”

“Them’salotlikegods.JustbecausewecallthemallCokedoesn’tmeanthereisjustoneflavor.Getme?” Inodded.

“Now,mygrandmotherusedtotellmethatinouroldage,wegetwise.We’velivedsolongthatwegetalittlemasteryof time.Weseelessbecauseoursightissomewhereelse.AndIseeyou,Rayne.You’llfindwhatmakesyouhappy.Takethe scenicroutehome It’llbeworththeextragasmoney Ipromise”Shebeamed,tuckedafewfolded-upbillsintomyshirt pocket,andhelpedmeoutthedoor.Iheftedmybankerboxfullofthingstomycarthentoanoldcountryinnandsuitesthat rentedbythehour

Yuck.

ChapterTwo Storm

It’dbeenalongtimesinceI’dhadanewattendant Mytrueworshiperswerefewerandfewerthesedays,onlyahandful remaining.Itsuitedmeenoughanyway.Ididn’tlikebeingworshiped.ThoughImissedtheofferings.Avirginalyoungmanora shapelywomancomingtomyhomewithsweetfruitsandstories

AnolderwomanI’dknownsinceshewasachildhadcomeafewmonthsprior,hergnarledbrownfingersasnimbleas anyother’sasshevisitedme.Istillsawherasablushingyoungthingwithgoldeneyes.Icouldevenenvisionitbeneaththe maskofskintimemadeherwear.“Mynieceissendingayoungvassalforyou.”

“Young?Ijusthopesheisaslovelyasyou.”Agedidn’tmatter,saveforI’dhaveherlonger.Istillsawthatfeistyyoung girlinhermind Asabeingofimmortalpower,apersonificationofthunderitself,Itendedtonotfocusontheshellofaperson, butthesoul.

“He,Ibelieve Iunderstandthatyouarefondofayoungmanoccasionally”Hersmilerangofsummersintheseventies, whenthey’dfirstconnectedaphonetomyhome.I’dknownthenthatitwasthebeginningoftheend.Distancebetweenmeand myworshipers.Worshipwasn’ttheexactwordforitthough. Honor Yes,thatwasit. Honor

Iwasn’tsurewhatIhadbeenbornas,onlythatIranonfourlegsbeforeIwalkedontwo.SometimesIwasadeer,and othersafox,crunchingthenightrodentsandnibblingtheoddscorpion.SomedaysIwasanopossum,curledupinatree watchingthenightrollby,orasleekcat,slippingbeneaththeblackberrybramblesinsearchofatastysnake Well,perhapsnot tasty.Snakeswereamusingtobatabout,atanyrate.ButIalwayshonoredmykillsbyeatingthem.

InthedayIcouldbeabreeze,whippingthehairofyoungwomenaboutandtanglingthenetsoffishermen Iwasthunder, therumbleinthesky,threateningtoundoitall.

Somewherebutafewhundredyearsago,apeoplehadoccupiedthislandandbroughtwithitastrangesortofdeer,flathoovedandmuscular Inaherd,theymadethunder,andthetwo-leggedbeastsrodetheirbacks Anditlooked fun Ididn’tthink I’dbeenanythingotherthanamustangsince.

Iturnedmyselfintoafineone,blackasnight,buttheytoldmesoonenoughmymarkingswerestrange AsI’dcometo understand,allgodbeastshadtheirmarkingsifsomeonehadthemagictoseeit.Ijoinedtheherdoftwo-leggedsastheir mustang,wheretheirleader,ochre-skinnedandraven-haired,rodeme

Ilearnedtheirtongue,foughtawaythewolvesandbearsofthelandforthem,andprotectedmytwo-leggedpets.They broughtoutaterritorialnatureinme.

Oneday,afinesummermorning,thesonoftheirleadercametomewithrichpeachesgatheredinhisarms Theywerefar tooripe,andneededtobeeatensoon,whichmadeitsowonderfulthatwewere forced togorgeourselvesonthesucculence. Maybeitwasthesugar,orthepeachesalittlefermented,butItookanewformforhim,myownversionofthetwo-legged, ahuman.Wordswerehardbackthen,butmatingwaseasy.Hecalledmeagod,andItoldhimhowbeautifulIfoundhim.No animalbeforehadofferedtomatewithme

Hekeptmeasecretforatime,andwelearnedourbodieswell,untilwewerefoundandhisfatherreveredme.Forin thosedays,amanlovinganotherwasn’tthetabooitwaswhenthefirstsettlerscame,bringingwiththemuncomfortablyitchy clothesandprudence

I’dlovedhimuntiloldage,andwesharedwomentogether,bringinghimmanychildren,allhisofcourse.Somehow,I knewmyloinswouldn’tbearfruitforjustanyone Deepinside,thecacophonyofthunderwithinmetoldmetobreedhim,to givehimmychild.Butaspiritisjustthat,aspirit.Myseedhadnomorevirilitytoitthanwater.

Ourgrandchildrenthentheirchildrenandsoforth,hadcaredformeandlovedme.Iwatchedaftertheirdescendantstothis day,asscatteredastheywere.Everymalebornofhisbloodlinereceivedmyblessingatbirthforstrength,andthegirlsIgave powerfulwill.Iknewmortalmen.Theyneededthepatienceofgodstobeabletotamethem.Wilderthananymustang.

Asthey’ddwindledandhistoryclaimedthemasitdid,newpeoplecameandwent Thetwo-leggedsthateventually claimedmewhenI’dwanderedthelandsofLouisianalookingformykinintroducedmetoothersofmykind,othergodbeasts. Spirits Ifoundawomanfromtheirpeopleandwewerehappyforsometime,butthelovedidnotlastandshetookaloverthat wouldnotshareme.Ifeltnojealousy,forherhappinesswasallIeverwanted.Ievenblessedtheirchildren,butsheaskedme nottoreturn,asmortalmenwerethejealoussortthosedays.Stillwere.

Thepeoplethatstillvisitedmeinmyhomewerepractitionersofmagicthatcalledmyspiritandtaughtmemoreofmy ownmagicthanIeverknew.They,too,wereaging,theiroffspringanddescendantsresultingtoparlortricksandpaperbaubles totelltheirfutures Icouldtellthemifthey’dask

“Avassal…Ithasbeentoolongsincesomeonehasservedme,IdaMaye.”Iwonderediftheyhadabeautifulheart,oneI mightseebehindthemaskofflesh

“Icantell.Youain’tdustedtheplaceinadog’sage.Andletmetellyou,youain’trustlingnoskirtslivinglikethis.”She gesturedabout.Sure,Ididn’tchangemucharoundmyhouse.It’dalwaysbeenhandledforme.Likealways,myfollowershad

builtandrebuiltmyhomeswiththeages.They’dputthephoneinfiftyyearsago,andtenyearsago,Igottheinternetanda computer.Forallthegooditdidme.Though,televisionandpornographyweregreat.

WhensomeonecoulddothemagicIcould,givethepowerandblessingsIdid,moneydidn’tsomuchhappenasmuchasit piledup.Allthewhile,Ihadnoideawhattodowiththeaccursedpaperanddigits.Ihadfollowersthathandledthatmuch.

“Speakingofdusty ”IleeredatIdaMaye “Iddy”Isangheroldnicknameinawaythatmadeherdarkcheeksmottle “Youain’tbeatingthedustoffyourknobwithme,sir.Itellyou,myhusbandwouldrolloverinhisgraveifhethoughtI wasinbedwithyou”Shewavedmeoff Andtruthtold,Iwouldhavemadelovetoherifshewanted Agedidn’tmakethe differencetome,notwhenshewassoverybeautifulinside.

“Pity.”Iclickedmytongueandsatbackinmyagingchair.Itcreakedunpleasantly.Perhapsitwastimeforchanges.“Will youatleastrideme?Irecallyoulovedgoingaroundthepastureonmyback”Iwaggledmyeyebrowsather,andshegiggled liketheyoungthingshe’doncebeen.Yearshadcrackedhervoice,butthatsweetsonginhertonelivedon.

“Alright I’llrideyouaroundabit,butbegentle Myhipsaren’twhattheyusedtobe”Shechuckled,endearedbymy playfulspirit.They’dcalledmeatricksterspiritatonepointinhercommunity.MaybeIwas?Iwasmoreorlesswhatpeople wantedmetobe,orwhatIwantedtobeforotherpeople “Butfirst,work!”

That’dbeennearlyamonthagoandthenoisesIhadtoendurewerefarmoreaggravatingthanthejoyIhadgottenfrom givingIdaMayearide

IncessanthammeringanddrillswhinedaboutasIkeptmyselfinthestables,theonethingImeticulouslykeptupdated.I’d shiftedseveraldaysagotoescapetheconstantpesteringfromworkerswantingmetomoveoutofaroomormakesmalltalk Asahorse,nobodyexpectedmetotalk,butthe things thatsomehumansfeltcomfortabletellingme,thinkingIdidn’t understand,weretoxic.Theplumberneededtogetthatmolecheckedout,andtherooferwascheatingonhiswife again. Iwasn’ttoo behindthetimes.Ijustdidn’tbotherdoingmuchonmyown.AstubbornhabitI’dearnedfrommydaysasa nomadicspirit.Dustingandtakingthetrashoutwereformortals.Hell,I’dspentmostoftheeightiessleeping.Theynearly thoughtIwasdead

Nope.Justbored.Thecreepingsensationofmonotonynibbledatthebackofmymind,butwhatitchedmorewasthe terribleneedtoshiftandstayshifted Idesiredtobeaspirit,tostartanewandfindanotherworthypeopletolatchmylifeline to.

“Thereyouare!”afamiliarvoicerangoutandoneoftherestorationistsworkingmycrownmoldingapproachedthefence tomypenandgrinned.Iflickedanear.Movingseemedlikeahassleuntilheextendedhishand,cuppedinthepalmanapple withrichruby-redskin.

Okay, mortal Your offering pleases me Itrotteduptotaketheappleandacceptedhisaffectionsandpraise

Yes, I am a beautiful horse. My coat is indeed the shiniest and my mane the healthiest.

“Iwouldlovetostudyouout”Thehumanbrushedmyjawandmyearspinnedback

I’d rather fuck you. Isnortedindistasteandnippedathim.Intheolddays,Iwouldhaveshiftedintoajackrabbitand boundedoffinoffense,sprayedhimasaskunkorworse.Sincetheeighteenfifties,theshifteraccordshadbegrudgingly extendedtothegodbeasts Though,noteventheshiftersseemedtorememberusanymore Iresistedtheurgetoshiftbacktomy humanstate,armscrossedandoffertobreed him tooneofmyfilliesIkeptinthebackgrazingpastures.

Ididn’tdomuchwithmyhorses,merelykeptthemsafe Irescuedthemfrompoorsituationsandgavethemfriendsand grazinglands.Thelocalfarrierschoolshoedmyhorsesforfreebecausemygreat-great-great-grandfather, grandself,hadbuilt theinstitution ThunderAcreswasaprotectedhistoricalsite,thebuildingpreservedandalladjacentbusinessesheldintrust

“Thereyouare!”IdaMayestormedintothebackyard,herstoopedfigureeverybitaspowerfulandfullofthatfireoflife asever.Myearstickledastheyswiveledinthesamedirectionandperkedstraightup.

TherestorationisthesitatedasIdaMayeapproached,complainingabouthimshirkinghisduties “I’llgetrightbacktoit, Miss!”

IdastaredatthegentlemanwithconfusionandIflickedanear

“IwastalkingtotheTempestSpirithere!”Sheglared,andtheconfusedmanmadehimselfscarce.

Ihatedthatname Theyallhadthingstheycalledme,andIchangedwhatIpreferred Tempest, Tempeste,theFrenchform ofit, Tempest Spirit, whatever they called me. Stormwasfine.I’dlostcountofthelanguagesI’dheardmynameutteredin whenIbroughttheraindown.

Ishiftedthen,myclotheschangingwithme,whatlittleIworeanyway ShewasfortunateIappearedtoweardenimpants Myhairwasawreck,thethickcurlssleptonandmatted.Sheglaredatthembeforetakingmebymyhand.“Comeon.You gotworktodo”

Igroanedandfollowedhertohercarastherestorationistcaughtsightofmeandblinkedinconfusion.Mostpeoplewho sawmeandthehorsedrewtheconnection,butwithoutpriorknowledge,itdisorientedthem.

“Inthecar.Stella’sgranddaughterisinlaboranditain’tlookinggood.”IdaMayestompedoff,andIleapedintohercar withnofurthercoaxing.Stellawasn’tofmyoriginalbloodlineortheonethatcameafter.ShewasanadopteethatI’dgrown

fondof,ashifterthatcarriedabitofwildnesslikethewindinher.

“Whyisn’tshegoingtothehospitaltoseetheirscience?”Irodepatiently.

“Becausetheydon’thaveashifterdocintheareaandthepup’sturnedwrong”Sheputherslipperedfoottothepedaland mademeclawfortheholy-shithandle,thoughIwasn’tsurewhatIfearedifthecarweretowreck.

“Didn’tevenmanifestshoes”ShesuckedhertongueatmeandIglanceddownatmydustyfeet Iwiggledmytoes Shoes werefiddlytomanifest.

“Whenyoumakeshoesthesameshapeasmyfoot,Ishallwearthemmoreoften”Ikeptmytonestern,remindingherofmy power,butnoirerestedinmyvoice.

Shehummedandwoundthecountryroadsuntilsheskirtedtheswamps,drivingintoasmallcommunitythathad,onceupon atime,beenasprawlingplantation Whilethey’dkeptthelandinthefamily,theplantationhadbecomefarmsandasmall communityprettymuchoverthecourseofthreegenerations.

Idacametoajarringhaltinfrontofamanufacturedhomeintheshapeofaboxandwavedmeoutofthecar,sendingmein

TheearthbeneathmyfeethummedwithapprovalandIcouldn’tmakeanyoneunderstandhowmuchIcalledtothedirt. Earthwasmymother,andshelovedme Ilovedher,too IshowedthislovebyalwaystouchingherwhenIcould

Anexhaustedcrycaughtmyear,andIrudelywanderedthehomeuntilIfoundthesmallgaggleofwomenwithStella.They allstoodhoveringoverthewomangravidwithchild,soakedwithsweatandtrembling.

Nomagicwasneeded,intruth I’dseenithappendozensoftimeswithmyfirstpeople ThewomenpartedformeandI offeredmyhandstothegirl. Teenie,Ibelievedthey’dcalledher.Tinaorsomething.Perhapsshepreferredthatsinceshewas older,butIoftenrememberedthembytheirchildnames

“Teenie,youalright?”Shewasn’tateeny-tinythinganymore,butthatdidn’tstopherfromsmilingthroughthepain.So,I madequickworkofthemassagethatwouldturnthechildandblessedherwiththestrengthtocarrythrough.ItwasallIcould do,really.

Atsomepointinthenight,Iwanderedofftotheporchandsomeoneputasweetteainoneofmyhands.Theelementof water,withthesugaroflifeandenergy Lovebrewedintoitwithjustahintofmintleaf Itpairedwonderfullywiththepipe fullofjuteflowerthattheypassedaboutthemenfolk.

Likealways,oneoftheoldwomenbusiedherselftendingmyhair Shecusseditincessantly,buttheendearmentandlove inhershonebrightly.Icouldchangemyformtohavemoremanageablehairorfixmyhairotherways,butIlikedthis.I enjoyedbondinglikethat.

Honor, not worship

ThefatherofTina’schildcamerushingin,Robert,givingmeareverenthugonthewayby.He’dbeenhalfastateaway whenitstarted,buthewouldn’tmissthebirth Ichuckledandacceptedtheirofferingsofmoreteaandafreshlypackedpipe They’dofferedmeastrongerpipeweedbefore.Whateverchemicalamalgamationthey’dturneditintosmelledlikea skunk’staintandmademenstupid Agoodjuteweedshouldhaveapleasantreekandbringwithitagoodsleep,notwhatever panicthatnewstuffinduced.Itdidn’tevenhaveseeds!Itwasinfertileandfartoostrong,muchlikeme.Perhapsitwasthe similaritiesthatIdidn’tlike.

Asthesunsetandthefullmoonrose,achild’scriesinterruptedthechillynight

“Agoodomen.Youknowmyprice,elders!”Istoodanddustedmyhandsoffbeforeheadingintothekitchen.Someone chasedaftermewithabroomlikemyfeetspreadfilthoverthefloor Iignoredthegesturebutwashedmyhandsandwentinto thebirthingroomoncemore.

“Tempeste!”Teeniebrightenedwhenshesawme,fullofthatsameadoration Agesturelikethismightkeepmeinfavorfor anotherfewgenerations.“Weknowyourprice.”

Robert,hermate,eagerlypassedthechildintomyarmsandwaitedwithwideeyesandasubmissiveposture.Themale wasasfarfromanalphaasever Beta Thelittleboyinmyarmsthough?

Icuppedthechildinonearmandlickedthethumbofmyotherhandbeforereachingintoswipehislittleforehead.The fluidcontactletmefeelhimmoreclearly “Analpha Thisisgoodforthepack You’venothadoneinafewgenerations”I rockedthechild,whofrettedatmygesture,headturningasifsearchingforsustenance.

Itwasachillyevening,butIknewwhattheworldneeded,andthecloudsgatheredintheeast,swollenwithicy precipitation.

Softwindsdrewthecloudsacrossthemoonanddarkenedthewindowsoutside,drawingouttheyellowoftheindoor lighting Theatricswerealwaysapartofmydisplays,soIallowedarumbleofthundertodisturbthepower Inthedistance, thefirsttattooofhardpelletshittheroofofthehouse.“HisnamewillbeHail.”

Ilovednamingbabies Ialwayssaiditwasmypriceforinterveninginabirth Truthtold,IhelpedbecauseIwantedto I’dnamedhim,hadgivenhimachanceatlife,cementingmybloodtothepackoncemore.PerhapsI’dwaitanothergeneration beforemovingon.

WhentheytooklittleHailbackfromme,aspleasedwiththewholesituationasIwas,I’dgainedanothertwo-leggedpet thatwouldridemesomeday!Whatatreasureitwouldbe.

ThehaildieddownandIdadrovemebackhome,whereI’dspendanothernightcampedinmystables,avoidingmyhalffinishedhouse.IhopedIcouldavoidspeakingtoallthecluelesshumanswiththeirpainfullackofmagicorsight,too. Myneckprickled,andIstaredupattheskyasIshifted I’ddrainedthecloudsearlier,butsomethingelsenaggedatme,a pressure.

Rain’s coming

ChapterThree Rayne

Three-hundredmilesdowntheroadandIstillcouldn’tgetthehotelfunkoffmyclothes.Irolledmyshouldersanddrove withthewindowscracked,ridingtheolderparkwaysandhighwaystotakethescenicroutehome.Itwouldcarrymethrougha gooddealoftheBibleBeltandintothedeepsouthtoreachmyhomelandthatIwasdreadingmorewitheachmile Icalledmymother,andshedidn’tpickup. No surprise. She’dnotspokentomeinsolong.Ileftamessageandhungup. Anotherfewhundredmilesandafulltankofgaswentbywithagiantgasstationcoffee,andIwasfittopeemyselfand crawloutofmyownskinintheworstofways.Thankfully,theruralisolationallowedmetofindanicebushtorelievemyself in

IturnedonanoldaudiobookI’dlistenedtoforthesixtiethtime.Somethingaboutgaywizardsandalotofeuphemismsfor staffs.Ilosttrackofithalfwaythrough,butthebackgroundnoisewasfine.Ionlywantedtolistentothesexscenesanyway. Withthewindowsdownandthebalmyspringairbringingwithitthescentoflifeanddecay,Ibreatheddeeply Maybeit wasstrangethatIlikedthegentleodorofdecomposingplantlife,earthyandrooted.Therainaftertheleavesfellbroughtthat sweetscentin,andIrelishedit Spring,though,hadampleraintospare

ThewindranalongsidemycarasItraversedthelandandeyedmyGPS,watchingthecompassofitspinfromthelackof cellsignal Itkepttryingtomakemedeviatefrommyroute,drawingmeoffthehighwaytomakemycarwrithetheroadsinto farmlandandhistoricalhousingthatrangofdarkertimes.Ididn’tliketothinkaboutthat.

Asthewindrushedpastme,cloudsintheskygathered,bringingwithitathreateningrumblethathadthepotentialto harboradownpour Anothergustofwindnudgedmycar,andIgaveintomyinsistentGPSreroutingandnature’snudges Perhapsgettingoffthehighwaywouldkeepmylittlesedanfrombeingtoomuchofatarget.

I’dneverseenmyphoneactthatwaybefore,drawingmeoffthetarredpath,downscenicroadsandwindingasphaltthat rumbledintograveloccasionally.BackwhenIwaslittle,mychildhoodhomehadgravelroads,onestheypavedwhenIgotto middleschool.I’dbeenteasedforitwhentheschoolbuspickedmeup,especiallywhenrainfrequentlywasheditawaycome springtime.

AsIpassedagrainsilo,IcamearoundabendtoseethemostgreenandprosperousfarmI’dwitnessedallday.Amidthe brownandbarrenfieldsstoodlusciousrowsofintermingledcropsthatpromisedabountycomeharvest Aswingingsign abovetheentrancegatetothepropertysaid Thunder Acres.Icaughtmyselfstaringforthelongestmomentbeforemyphone’s screenwentblack

“Well,shit.”Ipulledover,takingmycarasfartotheedgeasIcouldwithoutsinkingintotheditchbyalonggrazing pasturefence.Ifiddledwithmyphone,squeezingittoregistertheheatofthebatteryagainstmypalm. Overheated Dang Glancingabout,IspottedanenormousblackstallionandwhenIblinked,Icouldhaveswornitborewhitemarkingsonit, skeletalandtribalinaway.Mesmerized,Ithrewmycarintopark,securedtheemergencybrake,andexitedtoapproachthe fence

“OhmyGod,you’rebeautiful.”Igaspedandstumbledoverasmallditchtobringmychesttotheslatsofthefence, extendingmyarmstothegorgeouscreatureasitbrazenlyapproached

Fire,pureandexhilarating,dancedinthesteed’sdarkeyesandIwantednothingmorethantobridleandridehimorher Itookacasualpeek. Him Very him Theungeldedbeastblewarumblingbreath,snortinghot,dampairovermyhands beforeitnibbledeversogently ThefencebitintomyunderarmssodesperatelythatIstoodonthelowestrungofittoget betteraccesstotheaffectionatehorse.

“Thosemarkings ”Myfingerstracedtheexaggeratedlines,expectingpaintordye,butIfoundnone Powerlayinthose thingsinawayIcouldn’tcomprehend.“You’reamazing.”

AsIleanedfartheroverthefence,handscaressingthejawofthecreature,somethingflippedinmystomach Aheavypulse rippedthroughmybelly,makingmycockjerkawakeinmypants.Beforemymindcouldprocessthereaction,thehorseturned itsmuzzletomyface.

Itwasn’tlikemelting,precisely,orsomeglorioustransformation Therewasahorsebeforeme;thentherewasn’t Never wasahorse.It’dalwaysbeenatallebonmalewithwovenhairfinelykemptunderasun-bleachedbandana.Myhandsstill cuppedhisjawandhisfull,kissablemouthturnedupatthecornersintoawidegrin Aviolentlypinktonguepartedhislips withaslowlick,andmyeyesfolloweditseverymotion,leavingawettrail.

Thehorse man thing leanedforwardandourlipspressedintooneanother’s Imeltedunderthewarmthwiththe smallestmoanofpleasure.

“IdaMayehasoutdoneherself.Youaretheperfectvassal,”hespokeagainstmymouth,teethnippingmylowerlipbefore hefedmehishot,slicktongue,drawingforthanothernoisefromme

Mycockhardenedpainfullydownmypantleg,boxersstickingtothetipasIwhimpered.Igatheredamomentofdrunken awareness “Vassal?IdaMaye?”

Hehesitatedandcantedhishead.Istillcouldn’tdecideifhewasahorseorman. Have I just made out with some stranger’s horse? MysensescamebackinarushandIclimbedoffthefenceandtookastepback.

Theheatedswaggerofthemaleturnedintosomethingguarded “IdaMayesentyou,yes?” “No!Ipulledoverbecausemyphonedied.I ”MyvisiondoubledasIstaredatthemale.Iwasn’tcertainofwhatIsaw, butasIclosedoneeye,heappearedasaman,andtheotherasahorse Thetwoimagessatatoponeanother,andIcouldn’t makesenseofit.

“Oops Wrongone”Hepursedhislipsandofferedmeasheepishgrin,thelastthingIregisteredbeforepassingoutina slump. Thegrasswascoolanddamp. Man,Ilovedthatsmell

Ishiftedamidblankets,scentlesssaveforagenerallingeringsenseofdisuse,likeguestblanketsinthebackofa cupboard.Notunpleasantbutcoldandunused.Thecrackofadoordrewmyattention.Footstepsonwoodboardscreakednot toofarfromwhereIlay

“Whatthehelldidyoudo,boy?”Anolderwomanseethed,followedbythepercussivecracksofless-than-gentleswats.

“Yousaidyouweresendingavassal!HowwasIsupposedtoknow?”thehorsesaid,hisvoiceincredulous.

“Youwassupposedtoknowbythefacthewasn’tashifter,youass”Adisgustednoisepunctuatedherwords

“Heisn’t?Hell,youaren’tashifter,either,witch.”ThehorsesnortedbackatherandtheargumentcontinuedasIroseto myfeet

“Heis?”Alltheindignationbledfromhervoice.

“Hecertainlyisn’tahuman.Hehasmypeople’sbloodinhim,too.I’vetouchedhisline.Ithoughtthat’swhyyousent him,”thehorse,theman,whoeversaid.I’dkissedhim?Iwantedtofeeldisgust,buttheonlythingIcouldmusterwasdisgustat notbeingdisgusted.

Myfeetslidacrossrecentlysealedhardwood,old,butrestoredtoafineshine Mywornsocksrequiredalittleextra cautionnottofallasIlistenedatthesoliddoor.

“Ididn’tsendhim Theonlyreasonmyasswasheretohelpyouwasbecauseyoudidn’tansweryourphone Rileyfound hismateandwon’tbecomingtoserveyou.”Shesighedheavily.“Whatarewegoingtodo?”

“IguesswecallsomeoneolderfromthecouncilbecauseIdon’tknowwhatheis.”Thehorse’svoicetaperedoffintoa noiseofconcernasIpushedthedooropen,blinkingattheelderlywomanandthemanthatwasalsoahorseandsomanyother things.Lookingathimkindofhurt,mademedizzyagain.

Ibuckledagainstthedoorframeandclosedmyeyes

“Poorthing.Tempeste,gethimbackinbed,please.He’sinshock.”Theoldwoman’svoicemademesteady.

“I’mnotinshock Lookingathimmakesmedizzy Whatareyou?”Igesturedintheman’sdirection Withmyeyesclosed,I waslessbothered,evenwhenpowerfularmsscoopedmeupandabeautifulscentdrewmein.

“Irresistible,apparently.Wouldn’tmindhavinganotheroneofthosekisses.”Hisdeepvoicedrewmeintoashiver.God,I wantedtotasteitagain HiswarmbreathdancedclosetomyfaceandIcouldn’tforcemyselftoresistturningmychintoward thesourceasifseekinganother.“Goodboy.Verygood.”

BeforeIcouldtellhimnottotalklikethat,hislipswereonmineagainandthesoftblanketsI’dlaidinbeforewelcomed meintotheirembrace.Abedbeneathmecreaked,butIdidn’tdareopenmyeyes.“You’retoomanythings,”Isaid.

Hestilledmylipswithhisown “Iameverythingyetnothing Iamlifebutlifeless Endbutendless Iamspiritandthe land.Tempest,theStorm.Andwhoareyou,boy?”

Fulllipsbrushedagainstmyjaw,ticklingmyearasmyentirebodycurved;metallicechoingpangsofpleasuredemandedI seekhismouthoncemore “Rayne”

Hegasped,pullingaway.Thecoldairthatremainedinhisspacefeltlikemilesbeforetheweightofawarmhandrested onmychest “Rayne Whatareyou?”

“I…Aprogrammer?”Iopenedmyeyes,visionstillblurry,butthemanbeforemesolidifiedalittle,themanythings becomingsomethingIcouldmoreeasilyfocuson

“Ahuman,then?Allhuman?”thewomanaskedfromthedoorwayandIglancedoverather,andlikeStorm,shewasdarkskinnedandbrighterthanlife.Vibrant.

“WhatelsewouldIbe?”Ishouldhavebeenscared,terrifiedeven Perhapsitwouldcatchuptome,forcemetorun Maybehedruggedme?“AmIdrugged?”

“No”Hischucklestirredme,andhiseyesglittered “Ithinkyoureyesareopeningforthefirsttime Strange Ithink you’vefoundwhereyoubelong.Demi?”Strongfingerstrailedmychestthencollarbone,tracingthelinesofmyneck.

Staringathimkeptmyvisionspinning,pulsing,andallIcouldfocusonwerethedeep,darkpoolsofhiseyes.“Gay,andI don’tlikeit.”

Be scared!Run!What the fuck, Rayne? Ithadtobedrugsdrawingmein,hadtobe.

“Rayne.Getsomerestandcallanyoneyouneedto.There’saphoneonthenightstand.Yousaidyourphonewasn’t working.”Acrookedfingertracedmylowerlipandchin,catchingonthefaintestraspoffacialhair.“I’llhavesomeonecome seeifyou’reokay”

“Adoctor?AmIsick?”Ididn’tthinkIwassick,buthowIcouldkissastrangerandlayintheirbedseeingdouble…It mademethinktwice

“Somethinglikethat.”Thesideofthebeddippedashiswarmbreathtracedmyneckbeforeheinhaleddeeply.Heseemed todrawsomethingfrommeinhisbreath,whisperingmynamebeforepullingaway “Rayne”

Ispentafewminuteswillingmyhardeningcocktoforgeteverythingthat’dhappened,whilemyhearteggeditonwith thunderingbeatslikehorsehoovesondrydirt.“Easy.”

Somethinghardpressedagainstmyleg,andIsearchedthroughthecoverstofindmyphone,whichhadnobarsbutseemed toturnonandworkfine.Whateverhadhappenedtoitearliermusthavebeenafluke.

Igotmymom’snumberfrommyphoneandstaredattheantiquateddevice Icouldn’trememberthelasttimeI’dseena rotaryphonebefore.Dialingthenumbersonebyone,Iletthedialturnbackintoplacewitheachpull.

Thephonerang,andIwasalmostabouttohangupwhenmymother’stiredvoicecroakedintothereceiver “M’yello?”

“Mom,it’sRayne.”Icheckedthetime,anditwasbarelythreeintheafternoonbackhome,butsheansweredmyquestion beforeIcouldask.

“Why’reyoucallingsolate?Didn’trecognizethenumber Beenawhile”Sheyawned “It’sonlytwohere.”Iglancedatthewindowandthesunshonebrightly.

“PastteninGermany,Rayne Iseverythingokay?IheardyouweremovingbacktoOhio” Ihesitatedasmystomachdidalittleflip.“WhyareyouinGermany?”

“IthoughtItoldyouthatyourdadreenlisted.Theywereofferingabigbonus,andwemoved.” “Younevertoldme.Itriedcallingseveraltimes ”

“Yeah,atliketwointhemorning!Itotallytoldyoulasttimewetalked.Whenyougraduatenextyear,we’llbebackmaybe andcanseeaboutgoingtoyourgraduation”

Somethinginmesnapped,andIexpectedtearsandpain.Ididn’tknowwhatIexpectedwhenIthoughtaboutcominghome, butthiswasn’tit “Doyouevercheckyouremail,Mom?AndwhywouldIbemovingbackifI’mstillincollege?”Imadea pointtokeepherupdatedalmostweekly.

“Oh,no.Idon’tworkhere,soIdon’thaveanythingtodo.Noneedtocheckemails.Why?”Shehesitated,morealertthan she’dbeenafewmomentsagobutgenuinelyperplexed.

“Mom,theceremonyistomorrow.Igraduated.Isentyouemailstellingyoueverything.Itriedcalling,andsincenobody responded,Iskippedtheceremony Younevertoldme”Ikeptmycomposureasthecoldsettledin

“Oh…MaybeitwasCliffItold…”Shehummedintothereceiver.“Sorry,we’remissingit.Ifeelbadnow.”

“Isee Well,thatchangesmyplansabit”Hesighed “Isthisyournewnumber?”

“Nah,Ihadanincidentonmydrivebacktoyourhouseandwasstayingwithafriendforanight.”Ididn’twanttoburden herwiththedetailsofalifesheobviouslydidn’tcareabout Itwasn’therbusinessanymore,andshe’dmadethatclear “Well,alright,then.Sorrywemissedthings,butit’sbeenhectic.”Sheyawnedagain,anexaggeratedbreath,before mumblingsomethingaboutneedingtogobacktobed Thecoldthatcreptthroughmyveinskeptmestock-stilluntilthe shiveringsetin.

“Bye,Mom”Ihungup,settingthereceiverdownwithapoliteclickbeforeshecouldanswer Isatontheedgeofthebed,myheadpulsingintimewithmyheartbeat.Mayberestwasthebestidea.Ididn’thave anywheretogo.Iglancedaroundformykeys,checkingmypocketsandthebedsidetable.Ineededtofindahotel,butatthat thought,somethinginmyguttightenedandmyheadthrobbed

Stretchingouttosearchthebedformykeys,Ilayacrossthecovers,andtheebbingwarmthandsoftnessembracedme. I shouldn’t be so tired Iyawnedandclosedmyeyes Just for a second Then I’ll go Go where?

Icouldn’tanswerasIdriftedoff

ChapterFour Storm

InthetimesinceIgainedawareness,I’dlearnedmanythingsaboutwhatIwas,butnotallthethings Thereweresofewof usandnoneofusknewhowwecametobe.IcouldonlyguessasIwaitedforRaynetofinishhiscallwithhismother.

Icouldn’thelpeavesdropping Withhearinglikemine,IcouldfocusinonthemiceinthebarnfornicatingifItriedhard enough.Whatmetmyearsmademyheartache,sowhenhebidfarewelltohismother,Icalledmy…forlackofabetterword… brother.

TheycalledhimBuckthesedays.Andlikeme,hewasagodbeast,onefarolderthanme.Herememberedwhenthewooly mammothstillroamedtheland.Thosedayswerebeforeme.

Hedidn’tansweronmyfirstattempt,butfromwhatIrecall,Ihadtotrymultipletimesuntilthethingannoyedhim,orhis vassalansweredonhisbehalf.Threecallsinandasnarlofavoicegreetedme.

“Buck,it’sStorm Icoulduseyouradvice”Therumbleontheotherenddidn’tformwords,butIcouldimaginemy brothercalminghimself.Hespokeonlywheninterestedbutlistenedwell.

“Aboyshowedupatmyplacetoday.Hesmellsstrange,notashifter.Notawitch.” Bucksnortedonthephone.“Wanttomatewithhim?”

“Yes.Hemakesmyformunstable,andmybodywantstoattunetohim.”Istumbledoverthewordsbecausethatwasthe bestIcoulddescribeitas Itwasasifsomeonestruckatuningforkinmyheart,andbeingnearhimfoughtthatwithadifferent frequency.

“Hmm Wantmetocomesniffhimup?”Buckgrumbled,andIcouldn’thelpthesharphissinmythroatatthethoughtof anothergodbeastsniffingwhatwasmine.

Mine?

“Uh-huh I’llcome Maybeafewhours”Hehungupthephone,andIcursedundermybreathbeforeslumpingback towardmyroomwheretheboylay.He’dfallenasleepagain,horizontallyacrossthebed.Withallthecareofacloud,Islipped myhandsbeneathhimandputhisheadontothepillow

HemoanedinhissleepandIstrokedhischeek,takinginhisscentasmybasernaturedrewtohim.

I’dseensimilarreactionsbeforeinanimals,alightscentinthewindcatchingarabbitasheclaimedafemale Theeagles highintheskywouldflycirclesaroundtheirmatesofchoiceandcopulateonawhimfromscentandcallalone.Thiswasno different,butsodifferentineveryway.Isankakneeontothebedandslippedbeneaththecovers,drawinghimintothecurve ofmybody Thesteadyrhythmofhisheartbeatdrewminetothesametune,strikingintandem

Mycockswelledwithinterestasanymalewouldhaveinamate,butIbidittosoftentokeepthemomentpure.Thatsweet scentdrewmein,wildpeachesover-ripenedinthesun Mymouthwatered,andIwasdrawntothatmemorysolongago, drunkonthesweetnectar.Hesmelledsofuckinggood.

Ilosttrackoftime,wrappedaroundtheboyuntiltheairpressurechangedandwindrattledtheeavesofthehouse My sensesperkedasanotherofmykindapproached.Islidfrombed,startledtofindhiminmyhousealready,wanderingtheliving roomwithfeignedinterestasheexaminedthenewreconstructionefforts.“Theyhaveremadetheoldtolooknew.Why?”

“Humansaresentimental”Iglanceduptocatchhisjadeeyes,thesearingcontacttheymadewithmeabeaconasour powersandbeingscrashed.

“Ithoughtyoumighthavegonesentimental Whereisthismale?”Buck’snostrilsflaredandthegreeninhiseyeslitlike fire.

IjerkedmythumbtowardthebedroomandBuckdartedin,sendingeveryhaironmybodyonendandmuscleintoatight knot.MyinstinctsdemandedIclashwiththecompetingspirit.Ibarelyrestrainedmyselfasheloomedoverthebedandsniffed, drawingthecoversbackandnosingovertheboy’sheadintohishair.Hisupperlipcurledtorevealhisflat,whiteteethand pronouncedcanines,flehminggentlyuntilhedrewaway “Heislikeus Butnotlikeus”Bucksniffedagain “Iknow!”

“Youarestorm!Yourcallisthewindandthunder Whatisthiscreature?”Buckcontinuedtosniff,hiseyesdilatinginto endlessblack.

“HesaidtheycalledhimRayne.”IstiffenedandBuckdrewback.

“Heisanaspect.Youarespiritofanelement,andheistheembodimentofitscomplement.”Buckwithdrew,andwithhis presenceleftmyvitriol.IcalmedinmeresecondsbeforeputtingmyselfbetweenhimandRayne.

“Areyoucertain?Hewasbornofhumans,atleastfromwhatIheardhimspeaktohismotheraboutonthephone”I spluttered,butBuckraisedhishand.

“Weareallbornofsomethingmundane Iwasbornofearthfromtherocksoftheland Youwerebornfromthewind,your firstformacloud.Earthisourmother.Iknowanaspectwhowasbornoftwodoves.JustlikeIknowaspiritthatwasbornof machine.”

“Soheisraintomystorm?”Ipaused,butBuckshookhishead.I’dmetsofewaspectsbefore.

“You’lllearnhiselementintime.Itisfortuitousthough.Hewillcomplementyou.”Buckstaredatthesleepingboyasifhe wantedtosaysomethingmorebuthesitated “Iwanttotakehimfromyou,butheisnotmyelement Hecametoyoufora reason.”

“Haveyoueverreceivedanaspectbefore?Seenone?”Ihesitated,andBuckshookhisheadwithasharpjerk

“Weknowone;youknowBrook,butitisnotmytimeyet.Perhapsit’llneverbemytime,butIwishthebestforyou, brother”Buckpickedathisteethwithhistongueandstaredoutthewindow,eyesdrifting “Imaystayaroundawhile My vassalpassedonsomemonthsago,andyouwillneedanotherspiritashediscoverswhatheis.”

“Whydoyouhavetobeinvolved?”Ibristled,andhesnortedalaugh.

“Becauseheisasmuchofachildtomeasyouare,whelp AndIamchildtootherswhorememberwhenthegreatstarfell toearth,killingnearlyalllife.Theygotomuseumstolaughatthepuzzlesthatmenhaveputtogetherandclaimtobethose long-lostcreatures Therearespiritsofelementsthatnolongerexist,ofanimalsthathavelongsincegoneextinctandstill clutchtothisearthinvainhope.”

“Ifstormshaveexistedsincethedawnoftime,whywasIbornsorecently?”Itensedandflexedmyfingers,fightingan urgethathadn’ttakenmesinceIhaddiscoveredthunderinhorses.

“Becauseyouwereuntamable.Therewasawindbeforeyouthatwenttothebeyond,soIwastold.Youareolderthanyou know,butyourconsciousnessisyoung Andifyoureceivehimasamate,Iwanttobeheretobenosy”Bucksnorted,andI blanched.

“Mate?”Theconcepthadbeentaughttome,anaspectcomingtotheirspirit Weknewofagreatspiritoflifethatmethis aspectinatree.Hespreadhisleavesonedaywithlimbsfullofripeapplesandfedthespiritoflifeandthoseheprotected untiloneday,hetooktheformofmanandtheyunited.

“Mate.”Buckjerkedhischintowardtheboyashisnostrilsflared.“Smellssweet,butheknowsheisyours.”

Rayneturnedinhissleepandwhimperedsoftly,asweetmoanofdispleasurestuckinhisthroat.

“Andwhyishepoorly?”Irestedmyhandsonmyhipstostareattheyoungmale Hisdarkhairlayoverhisforeheadina thicksweep.Iwantedtograbahandful,toholdhimintothecurveofmybodywhileweruttedlikeanimals.

“Disorienting He’sgainingawareness Soyoung Icanonlybarelyfeelhimasaspirit Comparedtoyourownflameof powerlikeawildfire,heisbutamatch.”Buckstalkedoutoftheroom,handsinhispocketsasifhedidn’tknowwhattodo withthem.

“Disorientinghow?He’sgaininghissenses!”

“Imagineifallofyoursensesgotshutdowntothebareminimumlikeahuman’s,mutedanddull.He’slivedthatwayand it’llbebrightandloudandoverwhelming”Buckambled,nearingthedoorasheexitedthehouse Thesettingsunthreworange andredlightacrossthetopsofancientAmericanchestnuttrees,theonlystablepopulationthatsurvivedtheblightsomeodd yearsago Inaway,Ididn’tlikethechange,either IsupposeIwasassentimentalasanyofmyhumans

Asifunderstandingwhatlayinmymind,Bucklaughed.“Wearestubborncreatures,butaslongaswe’rewillingto welcomethenew,we’llprosper.Youngbloodmaybegoodforyou.Keepyoufromgettingstuck.”

“WhatdoIdowithhim?”Ifoundthecouragetospeak,andwhileI’dneverbeenparticularlynervousaboutapartner before,oranything,really,asuddenanxiousnessoccupiedmythoughts.

“Whatareyourinstinctssayingtodo?”Buckfloppedontomyleast-interestingfurniture,abeatencouch,andfishedaround inhispocketforacellphone.HewasolderthanmeandstillkeptupwithtechnologyfarbetterthanI.Perhapsitwaspartofthe benefitofyoungerbloodandkeepingmefrombeingstuck

“Fuckhimintothemattress,wraphiminmymagicandprotecthim.Claimhim.”Irestedahandonmyhipandtappedmy lowerlipwiththeother.Itwasstrangetohavepartofmybodywantingthingsmymindwasunawareof.Nostrangerthan anythingelseinmysmallworld,Isupposed

“Ishallstayhere.Yougodowhatevermakesyourheartcalm.”Buckwavedmeoff,andIpacedthefloorforamoment beforemakingupmymindandforgingmywayintotheroom

Raynedidn’tstir.Thelong,palelinesofhisneckstoodinstarkcontrasttomyownskin.Thoughhewasfarfromcolorless himself Rich,darkhairsweptbackfromhisforeheadandIhadanurgetostrokehischeek,andhispartedlipstrembledin suchawaythatmademybodytenselikeacoiledspring.Igaveinandsankdownontothebedoncemoreandunderthecovers whereitfeltsoright.Righterthanit’dfeltallthoseyearsagowhenIateripepeachesandmadebeautiful,aggressivelovewith acomelymale

Ididn’tneedtosleep,butIchosetoquiteoften,somethingtopassthetime.Itwasalwaysvoluntary,though,untilthe momentIhadmynoseburiedintothesparsehairsofhisneck,thebaby-finestrandsbrushingmylips Sleepdrewmein,and nothingbutthesofttickofthehallwayclockandhisslightbreathswereallthatmattered.

Rayne

OfallthethingsIwantedtohappeninmylife,wakingupwiththewallofmusclethatkissedlikeagodwasnearthetopof mylist.Fulllipsbrushedmyneckandhiswarmbodyplasteredagainstme.AnarmlaydrapedoverthequiltandIwasacutely awareoftwothings Ihadanerection,andIneededtoescape

HekissedmeandIfainted.Drugged?NobodyknewwhereIwas.Ihadnofamily.Myheartraced,andIslippedfrom beneathhisarmexpertly.I’dcrawledoutofenoughbedsandsnuckouttoknowhowtodoitwithoutdisturbingtheoccupant.

MykeyslaywhereIleftthem,myshoesbythedoorandmyphonehadbeenplacedreverentlyatopthenightstand.My clotheshadtwistedaboutmybodyinwaysconsistentwithsleepinginthem,andoverall,Iwasneitherbeingkeptprisonernor assaulted Ishouldhavebeenworriedaboutfindinghimsleepingnexttome,butitfeltsoright,likebeingnexttohimmademy heartquiet.Thisplacefeltlikehomeinawaythatnothingelsedid.

Partofmewantedtotellthemangoodbye,tothankhim,butthedrunkendizzinessfrombeforeandhiskissesandhis strangeresponsesmademewary.Istaredathim,hishighcheekbonesandfulllips.Hisnosetwitchedandwell-defined shouldersmoved.Ibitmylowerlipandturned,deadsetonleaving.

Thefloorboardsdidn’tcreak,ancientastheywere.Thejoistsmusthavebeentight,andthatpleasedmeonsomelevel.It madeiteasierformetostepoutintoanarrowhallandaspaciousentryway.

Onaninstinctuallevel,Icouldtellthemakeupofthehomewasauthentic,oldinthewaysthatsomanyotherthingsonly triedtobe.Buteverythingseemedsuperficial,asifit’dnevertrulybeenlivedin.Madetoserveagreaterpurposethatitnever gottofulfill Itsaddenedme,andIwasn’tsurewhy Eternallyfrozenintime Butstaringwouldn’tgetmeanywhere Ihadtoleave.Towhere?MaybeI’dgobacktomyhometown,getanapartmentorrentahouse.Butwithoutmyfamily there,thatdidn’tseemright,either.Whatwasmyfamilyanyway?Wecertainlyweren’tclose.Isupposeitwasfamiliarity,one thattheydidn’treciprocate Theweightofthatsatlikeleadinmystomach

Iopenedthefrontdoorandsteppedouttofindmycarsittinginthedrive,movedfromthesideoftheroadandsecure. Leavingwastherightthing,buttheguiltboilinginmystomachdidn’tmatchthemoment Itsureashelldidn’tmatchtheburning shameandemptyregretthatheldmefrommymother’srejectionandmyex’sbetrayal.Wasitevenbetrayal?Orwasitjust anotherexampleofmymisplacedtrustandmyinabilitytothinkdeeplyaboutanything?

“What’chathinkingabout,kid?”Theroughtonesofavoicemiredintoomanyaccentsbrokemytrainofthought.Iturned, lockingeyeswithastrangeman,brown-skinnedbutnotblack.NotNativeorHispanic,either.Hedidn’tmatchanyracesI knew,anditprickedatthebackofmymind Old

“Headinghome.Feelingbetter.”Myvoicecracked,andprimalfearshotdownmyspine,asifthemanontheporchwasn’t justaman Heremindedmeofabear,andadeerandbrokenearthandmountains Hehadthatsamethingasthehor Iwasn’t surewhathewas. Storm. Thatseemedright.

Hegruntednoncommittally “Kindafindingithardtoleave,no?”

Ididn’tanswerbutstoodstill,waitingforhimtostopme.Hethrewhisheavy-bootedfeetupontotheporchrails,dirty denimfoldedinhabitualwaysoverthecuffofthem.Ashadehatsatonhishead,buckskinorsomethingequallysturdy,oldand well-usedbutalsocaredfor

“Leaveifyouwant.Oryoucansitrightherenexttomeandgetanearful?”Hetiltedhishatback,catchingontheleather bandtyinghishairdown,full,thickdarklockstumblingdownhisback

“Anearfulforwhat?I’mgratefulandall,butsomethingdoesn’tfeelright.”Istoodstock-still.Thepartofmethat recognizedhimasoldalsorecognizedhimassuperiorinsomeway,likeIowedhimrespect.

“Anearful.You’vedonenothingwrong.It’snotmylandyoupassedthrough,soit’snotmeyouowehomageto.So,Iguess yougetapassonthatone.You’llfigureitoutintime.I’mmerelyofferingtoexplainitfasterthanyou’dfindout.”Hedidn’t lookatmebutkepthiseyestrainedouttowardtheskyline,eyesasgreenasoceanjasperfocusedelsewhere

“Explainwhat?”Itookastepfarthertowardthestepsoftheporch,tomycar.

“Why,whenyouleave,themanintheremayneverbreatheagain Whyyoufeellikeyourvisionissplitintoamillion piecesandwhyyoureallydon’twanttoleave?”Hedidn’tmoveoroffertostopmewhenItookanotherstep,andfromhis clothes,Icouldn’tquiteseeifhehadaweapon,butmysensessaidno.Mysensesalsosaidformetositmyassdownandlet Grandpatalk.Andfornorealreason,Idid.

Theinsideofthehouseandsomeoftheoutsidehadbeenrestored,butthepaintontheporchhadthatoxidizedlayeronit anditstreakedupmypantsasIfloppedontothegray-blueboards Icrossedmylegsandfacedhim,twistingmylipsasI tendedtodo.

“Whereyoufrom,kid?”Heliftedthebrimofhishatandstaredmedown “Ohio.”

“Yourpeople?”

Ishrugged.Mymomanddadhaddubiousparentage.“Littlebitofeverything.”Itwasmybestguess.Mysisterdidoneof thosegenetictestsonceanditsaidwewereprettymuchawhole-grainsandwich.Twoslicesofwheatbreadandeverything elseinthemiddle Maybeacalzone Ihadamoreolivetone Maybeanoatbread Mytrainofthoughtderailed,andtheother mansnortedalaugh.

“Sonoculturalbackground?Youdon’tknowabouttheshiftersandthewitches?”Hestaredmedown,andIshrugged “Ismellalittlewolfonyou,alittlecoyote.You’rerightaboutbeingalittlebitofeverything,mutt.Definitelydemi.”He suckedhistonguewithasharpclick

“Whataboutyou?”Thequestionmademyheartskipabeat,almostinterror,likeI’dcommittedsomegreatrudenessto someoneIreallyshouldn’thave.Ididn’tunderstandwhathemeantbydemi,butitdidn’tseemasimportant.

“WhatdoIlookliketoyou?”Heclosedhiseyesandpulledhishatdowntohischest,soakingupthesun’swarmth “I ”Ihesitated,andhescoffedalaugh.

“YouseeallthethingsIamatonce Nameafew”

“Bear.Deer.Rocks.”Isquintedathimastheman-shapeofhimwavered.Ihadtokeeptellingmyselfhewasamanto reallykeepthatinmind

“I’mtheland.Notthisland.Maybethisland.Humanshavedonetoomuchtoitformetoconnectreallywell.Itcouldbe mineagain.”Thewayhesaidithadanairofthreattoit,likeearthquakesandsinkholes.

“WhatdoIcallyou,sir?”Ifidgetedandleanedovermylegs Everythinghesaiddidn’tmakesense,butitfelttrue “Ehh,yourStormintherecallsmeBuck.”

“WhyBuck?”Asifitwerenormaltoasksomeonewhytheirnamewaswhatitwas “Oneofmyfavoriteformstobein.Justlikehelikesthehorse.Maybethat’swhywegetalongsowell.Theyalsocallme theBucklingStone.”Hemusedandstaredupattheclouds,slouchingalittlemore. “Buck?”

Heraisedasingleeyebrowandglancedover,whateverhypnoticholdtheskyhadonhimbreaking.

“What’swrongwithme?”

“Nothing.Doublevision,abitofshock.You’renew,soit’lltakeabittoacclimatetoit.”Buckwentbacktosky-gazing. “Whatdoyoumean,new?What Areyounothuman?”IhesitatedandstaredatBuckuntilhelazilyturnedhishead towardme,browraised.

“Nope.”Hedrewhisfeetdown,heavybootsclatteringthefloor.“WhatdoIneedtoshowyoutoproveit?Turninto something?Turnthesoiltosalt?”Herubbedhishandstogethermorosely. “Adrinkwouldbenice.”Istaredathimdeadpan.

“Where’sthefuninthat?Youcanwalkintothekitchenanddothat Noforcesofnatureneeded,”hespluttered “Fine.Turnintoafox.”Isnorted.

“Fine Haveityourway S’moreofmybrother’sthing YouseeOakenaround,he’llbeinyourtrashbeforethenight’sout Hetakesthefoxpartseriously.”Heclappedhishands,andinablink,IwentfromstaringatBucktostaringat… Buck.Same person,samefeel,andjust…afox.Iwasn’tsurewhatIwasexpecting.Maybesomeflare,ashift,somethinggrotesqueor nothingatall,butallthatsattherewasareddish-brownfoxwithdarklineslikecrackedearth

“Well.That’sathing.”IswallowedhardandblinkedafewtimesuntilBuck’simagereturnedtothehuman.

“Believeme?”Buckfloppedbackdown,thistimestaringatmycar

“Notentirelycertain.I’m…Ishouldbeheadingout.”Igesturedtowardmycarwithmykeyinhand.

“Why?Whereyouheaded?”

“Ho Idon’tknow.”

“That’sacomplicatedanswerifIeverheardone.”

“Iwasgoinghomebutmyparentssortofforgotme Iguess Look,I’msorry Idon’tmeantodumpallthisonastranger”

“Nah,noproblem.Iwanttolisten.Lifeisboringwhenyougettomyage.Takestheedgeoffthings.Keeptalking.”

Hecouldn’thavebeenolderthanthirty,buthefeltsomucholder Despitethatdichotomy,Itoldhimeverything,spilledmy heart,myfailedattemptsatlove,myschooling,andmyparents.

“Yeah,MotherEarthdoesthatwhenshe’spushinganaspecttowardtheirgoal It’snotyou,kid Justhowthingshappen I barelyrememberit,butIwaspartofthesetwomountainscrashingtogether,tectonicsorwhatevertheycallit.Ibubbledup betweenthemandtheyletmecleaveandtumbleaway,neverevenspoketome.”Hehuffedliketherejectionstillstung.

“Mountainscantalk?”Istaredupathimasthephoneinsiderang,thesoundjarringandmechanical

“Ohyeah.Everythingspeaksifyouknowhowtolisten.It’sjustwhetherornottheyhaveanythinginterestingtosay.Like thebrickinhisfoundation?Theygotthingstosay,butmostlyaboutthingsgoingtoofastforthemtokeepup,toofarfromtheir home,mixedfeelingsbecausethey’resomethingnew.Mostlytheyjustthink, hey, another day.Sometimestheycomplaininthe winterwhenwatergetsinandfreezes,makinglittlecracks.”Everywordhesaidmadesenseinastrangesortofway,andI couldn’tstoplistening.

“Notnearlyasinterestingaswhatthebirdsandthecloudssay.”Therethatvoicewasagain,Storm.Iturnedmyheadtosee

themanbehindme,hisfacetwistedintosomethingsadandworn.

“You’rewelcometostayhere.Youknow?”Hecrossedhisarms.“I’llneverforgetyou.”

I’ll never forget you Oh,thosefourwordsmademyheartmelt,cheekswarming Dick hardening Seriously,mycock neededtogethisshittogetherbecauseIshouldnotwanttofuckthehorse.Orbefuckedbyit…Mygazewanderedsouthand hispantsgavemeabsolutelynosignofwhathewaspacking AllIcouldthinkaboutwasgettinghimintobedandlettinghim lickandfuckmefromheadtotoe.

“Doyoueat?”Hebrokemygaze,andIglancedup “Ass?”

“What?”StormsplutteredandBucksnorted,chokingandlaughing.

Myface burned

“Storm,allhumanseat.Weeat.IsIdaMayetryingtogiveusofferingsagain?”Bucksatup,hiseyesglittering.

“Yep Wanttocomewithustothepackandseethewolves?Havesomecornbreadandcasserole?”Stormofferedmea grin.“Maybeassfordessert?”

Mycheekssearedlikeasunburn “Ididn’t My ”

“Shh.Trustme.Thefeelingismutual.Ican’twaittofeelyourspirit.”Hislipquiveredashesaidit,asifsomethingcold traceddownhisspine.

“ThinkIdaMayemightknowbetter?”BuckglancedupatStormandheshrugged “Ifshedon’t,Vidaliawill.Shecan’tleaveherbedmuchthesedays.Butyou’dknowmorethanthewitcheswhataspecthe is”

“Aspect?”Ihonedinonthatwordbecauseitseemedimportant.UsedinawayIdidn’tunderstand.

“So,wearespirits.Iamoftheland,andStormisofthewind.Youareanaspect,soyou’dbesomethingtodowiththe windlikeyournamesake rain.Idon’tfeelwaterinyouthough.Perhapsyouareatornado…”

“Whatareyougoodat?”Stormnevertookhiseyesoffmeandgoosebumpsrosealongmyskin.

“Computerstuff”

“Lightning!”Buckpumpedhisfist.

“Lightning ”Stormreachedahandouttowardme “Pleasestay”

Beforegoodsensecouldwrapitselfaroundme,Ichoked,automaticallyanswering,“Iwill.”

“Storm?Let’snotputpressureontheboyjustyet.Hecandriveustothepackfordinnerandseeforhimself.He’shuman atheart,somaybethey’llbeclosertohim.”Buckputhishatbackonandstretchedout.“Nowlet’sgogetfood?”

Istaredatthekeyinmyhand,asifonlyjustrememberingitwasthere.ThefactthatIhadbeenreadytoleavenotminutes beforemadeguiltcoilinmybellylikeasnake “WhydoIwanttostaysomuch?”

“Maybeyouwon’tlater?Yourspiritlikesithere,andmaybeyoushouldquestionwhynoneofthishasfreakedyouout? Maybeit’sbecauseit’sright”Bucklopedovertomycar “Icallshotgun!”

“Wait!No.Isitinthefrontseat.He’smine.”StormbristledandBucksnorted.

“Yeah,whichiswhyyougettositbehindhim.Getthegoodview.”Buckwinkedandlopedoff,leavingagrumblingStorm followingbehind

“Wherearewegoing,exactly?”Ihesitated.Myphone’sGPSwouldn’tworkwithoutasignal.

“I’llgiveyoudirections”Buckgrinned “Buttobesafewhilewe’redriving,keepyourauradown,Storm Wewanthis visionstraight.”

BeforeIcouldstartthecar,Storm’shandslidoverthebackseatandfingerstracedupmynecktomyear “Idon’tthink there’sanythingstraightonhim.”

The boner returns, part two, revenge of the erection

ChapterSix Storm

ThegravelroadsrumbledunderthesmalltiresofRayne’scar.Hehandleditexpertly,navigatingbyfeelandkeepinghis speedsteady.Ilikedit,betterthanIdaMaye’sdrivingatanyrate.

“Aretheseevenofficialroads?”Heheldontothesteeringwheellikealifeline,cautiousinawaythatthespiritsweren’t Whenitwashardtodie,wetendednottobeasmindful.

“Probably?There’smapsinthecourthousethathavestreetnamesonthem,butthey’renotstatemanaged Wehaveto graveltheroadsourselves.”Ileanedforwardinmyseattostareintothedustyroad,admiringthespringtimegreenspreading everywhere ItwasnotasmuchasI’dhaveliked,butwhenthescorchingheatofsummercame,I’dbesuretosparemylands andpeoplewithcoolwindsandfatcloudsfullofrain.

“Hey,Storm?”Raynespokeup,catchingmygazeintherearviewwindow.

“Hmm?”Iglancedupandlockedeyeswithhim Ihadn’tnoticedtheircolorinthedark Theyhadadark-graycasttothem, butinthelight,theywereadeepandsmokygreen,likeserpentine,thehuesmesmerizing.I’dhaveBuckunearththestonefor him,decoratehimwiththeirbeautifulbeads I’dwooedmenfarlessbeautifulthanRayne,bothinsideandout

“Ifyouwantmetost-stay…Whatalldoesthatmean?”He’dbeeninsomanyshallowrelationshipsgonesour,ifthe conversationIaccidentally-on-purposelistenedtowastobebelieved

“Nothing,really.I’minvitingyoutopickaroom,ormine,andlivewithme.”Ishruggedlikeitwasn’tabigdeal,andmy heartcheeredwhenhisposturerelaxedalittle.

“DoyouhaveinternetsoIcanworkmyonlinejob?CanIgetpackagesshippedin?”Hisquestionsmademyheartsoar, anditwasallIcoulddonottounleashsomeofmypowertoflyalongsidethecar.Hehadhismindonplansandpreparation. Betterthananyvassal,apotentialmatethatwouldmakemynextfiftyorsoyearsawonder,andI’dlovehimtillhislastbreath

“Yeah.I’mnotreallysurehowitworks,buttheygavemeacomputerandIcanwatchvideos.Idon’torderanythingbut theybringmymailfromthepostofficeonceaweek.IsupposeIcouldgetitmoreoften,butmydevoteesbringmymail.I reallyliketheinternet.”Ishrugged.

Bucksnortedfromthepassengerseat.“Hewatchesporn.”

“Wealldo Anyway,howmuchforrent?CanIcleanorcookorsomething?Wehaveachorelist?”Raynedrummedhis fingersasBuckpointedhimtoturnoffontoanotherremotecountryroad.He’doncesaidyoucouldfollowthemosquitoclouds, andyou’dfindthepacklands JudgingfromthepepperingofbugsonRayne’swindshield,thatwasn’tinaccurate Theywere gettingthickerbytheminute.

“Thehouseispaidforandkeptupbymypeople.Theytakecareofthefarm,too.So,don’tthinkyouneedtopayme anything.There’ssolarforthepowerandI’mfeedingbackintothesystemmostdays.ButIwaswaitingforavassalwhenyou arrived ”IhaltedwhenBuckturnedinhisseatandgavemeaglare.“What?”

“He’snotavassal Don’tmakehimscrubtoilets He’sanaspect!”Buck’supperlipcurled

“Idon’tmind.Tellmewhattodo.”Rayneraisedahandtoplacatetherisingtensionsinthecar,andIreachedovertorub hisshoulder Thecontactdidn’tseemtobotherhim,quitetheoppositewhenherelaxedandleanedhisheadtothesidetorub hischeekalongmyfingers.

“Idon’tthinkyoureallyunderstandwhatyouareandwhatweare.”Bucksnortedasheglancedaroundforlandmarksand madeRayneturnagain

“Enlightenme!I’minamoodtounderstandwhatthehellisgoingon.”Raynesloweddownasaturkeyvulturescuttled acrosstheroad,somesortofcarrionitstarget I’dwatchedpeoplegunitatthemforaslongasautomobileshadbeenathing Trusthumanstobegiventhegiftofagesandkillthingsforfunwithit.Hecametoanearstopandscootedaroundthebirdand itsmeal,notevengivingthesightasecondglance Deepdown,heunderstoodthecircleoflife

“We’regods.”BuckpickedathisteethandglancedoverasRaynewentstiffoncemoreundermytouch.

“AndwhatamI?”Raynehesitated,aslighttremblerunningdownhisspineandintohismusclesundermyfingers.

“Anaspect YouknowOdin?AnaspectwouldbeHuginorMunin,GeriorFrekki They’repartofthegod,butseparate Godlike,certainly,powerful,undoubtedly,butyourpowerisn’tbestusedonitsown.Unitedwithyourgod,yougivelife,and lifeismagicandpower”Buckspokequietly,hisvoicebitter

“Ineedsometimetoprocessthis,Iguess.”RayneturnedontoanotherroadthatBuckpointedtoward,leadingtheminto packterritoryandthedozensofsmallhouseslinedaroundtheclearing

“Processaway.There’sadozenwolvesheretomeetyou.”Buckcrackedthewindowandshiftedinablink,turningintoa birdthatflewfromthecarwithaflutterofwings.Raynesteppedonthebrakes,jarringmeintothebackofhisseat.

“Idon’tthinkI’llgetusedtothatanytimesoon”Raynetookadeepbreath,andIpointedtowardahouse “Parkattheblueone.That’sIdaMaye’s.”

Raynebroughtthecartoaparkinhersmalldriveandclimbedout,stretchingnervously Avolleyofhowlsrose

somewhereinthedistanceandwolvespouredfromeveryhousebetweenthetreesandoutintotheclearing.Atfirstadozen thentwo,allcrowdedandsniffingaboutasBuckperchedonaroofthenshiftedback. Asshole

Iliftedmyarmsandstoodstillasthewolvescircledme,tailswagginguntilaratherbruskpiebaldwolftrotteduptome, herflanksnarrowandeyesbright.Inhermawwasalittlepup,squirmingforfreedom.Itookhimgraciouslyandstaredatthe dark-furredbundle “Hello,Hail”ItickledhisbellyandRaynemadethissweetlittlecooingnoisethatdrewtheirattention Hehadnofearwhatsoever,kneelingwhenthewolvesapproachedhimwithterritorialposturesandhesitantsniffs.A cautioustailwagstartedwithonewolfandspreadslowly “Heismine HeneedstoseeVidalia Nothuman,notwitchor shifter.”

Confusedglancesshotmyway,butoneoftheyoungerwolvesbouncedupandsniffedhimthoroughlyfromhisneckdown andIfoughttheurgetoshoohimoff Ineededtoprotectwhatwasmine

Myvigilanceorannouncementdidn’tseemtostirthemorRayne.Itintensifiedinawaveastwoofthewolvesshiftedto theirhumanforms,eyesbrightwiththeexcitementoversomethingnew

“Whoa!”Rayneturnedhishead,cheekspinkeningashishandsrosetoblockthevisionoftwoverymale,verynaked shifters Notrealizingwhattheproblemwasforaminute,IhesitateduntilIrememberedhumanswerefarmoreprudishthan they’dbeensolongago.

“You’llhavetogetusedtoit,Rayne.Nudityisn’tasbigofadealamongshifters.”IlaughedasRaynekepthishead slightlyturnedandstood,gravitatingtowardmeandBuck,politelyavoidingstaringatthewolves “They’rejustgenitals You stareatdogsallthetimeandthey’renaked.”

“Yeah,butit’sdifferentwithhumans Andhowdoyoukeepyourclotheswhenyoushiftandtheydon’t?”Rayne’s whisperedvoicecarriedwellamongthosewithbetterhearingandsnickerspassedaround.Afewmorehadshifted,females andyouthaswell.

“Probablybecausetheyain’twearingclothes.”AfamiliarvoicecaughtourattentionandRayneturned,cautioninhisgaze mixedwithabriefhesitation.

“Theyaren’t?”RaynegavemeandBuckasuspiciouslook,muchreminiscentofmanyofthewomenthathadgrownold aroundme. Judgmental. Itwasn’tgoodthatI’dknowntheboylessthanahandfulofhoursandalreadyhewaswisetomy antics Thethoughtofthemaletamingmemadesomethinginmeshiverwithbothdelightandunease Buck,likelysensingit, raisedabrowandstaredatme.

“ItisagooddaywhenboththeTempestStormandtheBucklingStonecometovisitus!”Theactingleader,arather dominantbetanamedGrayson,sauntereduptouswithhisthickbayouaccentandCréoletanthatdidn’thavealickoflinetoit. I’dbeenflirtatiouswithhiminhismuchyoungerdays,butithadn’tgonetoofar.Seldomdid.TheyknewIwasasfickleinmy affectionsastheweather Eachtrystmerelyscratchinganitch

ThemomentarydistractiondrewmygazefromRayne,andinablink,hewasgone,ferriedoffsomewhereoutofmysight. ApangofanxietyechoedthroughmychestbeforeBuckrestedastone-stronghandonmyshoulder “Easy Thewolveshave theirways.Letthemplay,andit’lleasehimintoitfarmorethanustalking.”

Hiscalmwordsshouldhaveputmetorest,butIdidn’tthinkI’deverbeateaseagain,protectingwhatwasmine.

Mytripstothepacklandhadbeenfrequentovertheyears Ivisitedatleastonceaseason,whichforthemmighthave seemedlikequitealongtime.Infantswentfromcrawlingtorunninginthetimebetweenmyvisits,andwhenHailhadbeen born,Ididn’texpecttoseehimsosoon PartofmeunderstoodthatbythetimeIreturned,thecreaturewouldhavegrownold enoughtosaymynamewithasmuchreverenceasanyoftheotherpack.Ifnotwiththatchildlikefondness.

Eagerwolvesherdedmeaseasilyasasheepdogwouldmyequinecounterpart,pushingmeawayfromRaynetowardthe directionBuckwent.BuckhadfarlesspatiencefortheothersthanIdid.He’dbeenpersecutedinhisyoungerdaysbeforehe’d beenreveredasagod.Evenwhenhehadfollowers,hewasdistant.

I’dneverknownthatsortofpersecution I’dmetignoranthumanswhocameupwithothersillyreasonstodislikeme,for refusingtowearaformthatmadethemmorecomfortable.Asiftheyweretheonesthatmattered.Intime,asallourkinddid,I mightchangemyappearance,takeonalookofthepeopleoftheland,butIhadgrownaccustomedtothisform Thisgender I alwayswonderedwhyIneverchosetobefemale.Icouldhavebeen,butmyspirit,thecoreofme,resonatedwithalphakind.

Youngerwolvesrancirclesaroundmyfeet,notthepup-likeyouthwhichhadrunoffwithRaynebuttheonesintheir thirtiesorsothatwerestillplayfulandbouncedaboutinthemoon.Thosethatstillhadtheenergytochaseme.

Come!Chase!Play!Theybarkedandwhined,lickingattheairinsubmission,beggingmetolead.Mybaserinstincts commandedmetoshiftforthem,toleadtheirrun,andIhadeveryintentionoftakingtheformofmyhorse,thespiritofmy thunderintheherd.Thatdidn’thappenthough.Whetherbymistakethroughmydistractedheartorfromadesiretohavethe packandallenamoredwithme,myformflowedintothatofagrandwolf,furblackandsleekasImomentarilypreened

Asideme,anotherwolfjoinedinasmoothflow,likesteppingfromoneshapeintoanother,crumblingrockandrunning sand. The Buckling Stone

Buckborefurinthatformsomuchliketheearthhehailedfrom.HeremindedmeofcomfortsI’dneverunderstoodbefore Igainedsentience.Buckwasfamily,andIheldsomethingdeeperthanfriendshipwithhim.Kinship?Perhapsitwasadifferent

kindoflove.Atanyrate,Ineversawhimrunwiththewolves,either,sowhenthetriumphanthowlsandyipsofpuppylike excitementcascadedthroughthepack,weran.

Themoonhadyettoshowherglorytousthatday,buttheseasonandcoolairdrewusintoit Thetendershootsofnew lifepokedfreefrommuddyearth.It’dbeenadryspringthatyear,butI’dgivenourlandssweepsofrainandheavydewthat madeusprosperwhereothersdidn’t AndwhileIunderstoodthattakingthewaterformypeopletookitfromsomewhereelse, I’ddonemybesttodrawthewaterfromamanmadereservoirsomemilesawaythathaddestroyedlandsIhelddear,with gnarledpeachtreessooldtheydidn’tbearfruit,onlytheoddgreenstonethathardenedinthesun I’dsatisfiedmyselfthatthe ancestorsofthosepeaches,andtheirancestorsbeforelivedoninthepeachesonmyproperty.Notliketheonesdottingthe landswiththewolves,asthoseseemeddifferentsomehow.Thepeacheshadlosttheirspirit.Aswatereddownasthe bloodlinesofmyfirstpeople

Isatisfiedmyselfinknowingthatnotallwaslost,butratherithadwornthinandspreadout.Ihadgainednewpeople,new peachesandfruits Peacheswerenice,butIalsoadoredcherriesandtherich,nuttyflavorofpecansfreshinthefall Thewild treesoutmywayofferedtheirbountyinobscenequantities,towhereitwasasinifanydessertthewolvesmadedidn’thave plentyinthem

PlayfulteethtuggedmytailasIran,andtomyutterdelight,Buckyippedbehindme,hisbarkakaleidoscopeofmeaning.It containedexcitementandjoythatwerenotcharacteristicofthespirit.TheBucklingStonewasahardenedgod,onewarpedby thewindandwaterandtime Hewasnotaspiritknownforhisplayfulness Perhapsheheldgriefforhisfallenvassal LastI recall,hedidn’thavemanyofhispeopleleft,andhisvassalmighthavebeenthelast.

Inperspective,evenmydwindlingpeopleweremoreprosperousandvasterthananyhe’dhadinahundredyears Hadhe onlyasked,I’dhavesharedthem,gladly.I’dhavesharedmylandandalltoseethespirithappy.He’dgivenmesomuchinthe yearswe’dknownoneanother,andifsharingmypeoplegavehimrespite,I’ddoit.I’dheardmostspiritswerejealousoftheir people,though,soperhapsBuckneededtolivevicariouslytoremindhimselftofindanewpeople.Astheyearswenton, though,thepeopleleftourlandsinfavorofthecities.Theydidn’tknowthegodbeastsorthespirits.Theyhailedthemachines andworshipedtheghostofcommerce Theforcesofnaturehadtakenabackseatandthrowntheirangerabout,whilethe spiritsofmankind’sperversiontaintedevenourkind.

EvenIhadseentheflickerofthespiritofgreedintheinternet,theemptinessbehindpornography Theyworshipedbarren altars.Butwhatbetteraltarforthewindthananemptyone?

Get out of your own head, brother!Today is celebration!Buck’showldrewmeoutofmyreverie. Our tempest storm has found his mate!Mark my words, he will be tamed, wolves

Howlsandbarksofjoychorusedabout.Andsomewolves,perkingtheirears,decideditwasafinetimetoleave,running offto,nodoubt,investigatethisnewcreaturethatBuckhadproclaimedwasmine

“Boys,getyourskinsbackon!”afemalevoicebellowedacrossthefields,oneofthewomenthatcookedmoreoften,a witch Therichscentsofcornbreadandgreenbeanspreservedfromharvestmetmynose Isniffedtheairandrantowardthe voiceanddelicioussmellsthatIcouldnearlytaste.

ChapterSeven Rayne

I’dseenbehaviorlikethiswithfriendsgrowingup.Thekindwhereauntiesanduncleshadavestedinterestintheirlife. Grandparentswhoraisednotonlytheirownchildrenbuthadbecomeparentstoacommunityinstagesandways.

“Land’ssake,ain’theaprettyone?Mm-mm Iswear,MotherEarthdidn’tspareanylookswhenshemadeyou,boy”A youngerwomanwithsoftbrownhairandsweetgrayeyesdrewmeafewbuildingsawayfromthewolvesandStorm.Bucksat onanearbyrooftop,probablystillgloatingoverscaringthebejesusoutofme

“I Iwouldn’tsaythat.”Ilaughednervously,andwhenIenteredthebuilding,Iwasdescendeduponbyahalfdozen womenofvariousageswhippingaboutwithenormousdishesoffoodinamishmashofbakeware Somanydeliciousscents wrappedaroundme,andmystomachgrowledwithfrustration.

BeforeIcouldsayaword,though,evenagreetingorintroduction,Ihadachairbeingpushedagainstmybackside.Aquart masonjarfulltothebrimwithcloudyfaticecubes,thekindfromoneofthoseoldmetaltrays,madeitintomyhandfilledwith teasosweetIcouldsmellthesugar.BeforeIcouldliftittomylips,someonesweptbyandflickedatinysprigofmintintoit.I blinkedinsurpriseandthescentofitpairedwiththeearthysyrup “God,that’sgood”Isighedheavilyasanolderwomanona walkershuffledin,herslipperedstepsscootingacrossancient,bubbledlinoleum,crackedinplacesbutnotcrumbled.It’d beenwell-maintained,asiftheycaredaboutthethingstheyowned,asifthingshadpermanencethere

“Ohhh,Iain’tneverseenone’ayoutypesbefore.”Dark,grizzledfingersreachedouttopatthebackofmyhandandI glancedup,havingoneofthosedizzyingmomentslikeIdidwhenstaringatStorm.Standingbeforemewasastooped,plump olderwomanwithdroopingeyesandtoomuchjewelry Butatthesametime,Isawamuchyoungerwomanwearingcanvas pantsandaman’sbuttonup.Womenherage,whentheywere that age,didn’twearpants.Butthiswomanhadbeenarule breakerthenandhadneverchanged IknewI’dloveher

“S-sorry,I’m ”

“You’reRayne.IdaMayetoldme.YoucancallmeMamaVy.”Shefidgetedaroundwiththechairnexttomeinapainfully slowandawkwarddisplayforamomentbeforeIofferedtoreachoverandhelp.Thewomeninthekitchenfroze,gaspingas theyglancedoveratmewithwideeyes.

“Ohhush,you Iswear,youturnoneinterferin’man’stesticlesintoapairofbluebirdsandtheyflyawayandeveryone assumesyou’llsnap.”Shecluckedhertongueandwavedmyhandaway.“Butdomindyourhands,dear.Idoformyself.”

“Yes,ma’am”IquietedandMamaVysnorted

“Oooh,mythirdhusbandwouldhavegottenahootoutofyou.AlwaysdidsayI’dlivetobeolderthanthespiritsand lookithere.”Shebeamedandgrinnedwickedlywhensomeoneplacedapintmasonjarinfrontofherwithastrawfullofthe samerichambertea.Shedrewthecondensation-riddledglasstoherselfandsipped.

Iwouldhavelovedtohavehadagrandmotherlikeher.Thesassandstudiouscareswaminhereyes.Instead,Igotthe snowbirdFlorida-centeredgrandparentsthatcalledonbirthdaysandstartedfightswithMomontheholidays Thiswasthe grandmathatwouldgiveyouahardtimeandmakeyoulaugh.Thiswouldhavebeenthegrandmathattaughtmehowtocook, evenifmyparentsthoughtitwasagirlything ShewouldhavebeenagrandmaIcouldhavecomeoutto

“What’sonyourmind,spirit-child?”Herageddarkeyes,squintedandwatery,staredatmewithfarmoreempathyand depththanI’deverreceivedbefore.

Ipausedforamoment,thinkingofthecorrectthingtosayandgotnowhere

“Don’tthinkaboutit.Ifyouhavetothinkaboutit,you’relyin’.Now,whatareyouthinkin’about?”Sheleanedforward, grinwide,exposingteethfartoowhiteandhealthyforawomanherage Notdentures Theywerereal

“Didyoureallyturnaman’s…eh…youknow,intobluebirds?”ThefirstthingthatIthoughtof,Isaid.

“Notwhatyouwasthinkin’butIlikeit Isuredid ButIgotasecretforyou,”shesaid,leaninginconspiratorially “They didn’tflyaway.Keptthemaspetsforayearandthengavethemback.Themanneverhitawomanagain,Itellyou.Nowwhat wasyoureallythinkin’?”

“Thatyou’reprobablythecoolestgrandmaever”Igavehermybesteyeroll,onefilledwithasmuchresignationasI couldoffer.

“Igotgreat-grandchildrenolderthanyou”Shelaughedandpattedmyhand “Nowdrinkyourdamntea Iwantyouto remembermeasyourgrandma.”

Ididn’tquiteunderstandwhatwassofunnyuntilhergazewentsoft “You’regonnahavetogetoldrealfast Someone bringournewlittlegodhereacookiebeforehestarveshimselfincorporeal.”

Isatinuncomfortablesilencewithallthehappeningsandunfamiliarwordsbutgrinnedandthankedawomanwhobrought meacookieonalittlethinplate Ithadapatternlongdiscontinuedbecauseoftheleadcontent Idebatednoteatingthecookie foralloftwosecondsbeforeIreasonedthattherewasn’tmuchofachanceI’dbefatheringchildrenanyway.So,mysperm countwasn’tthatbigofadeal

MamaVytookacookie,too,andbitintoit.“Whomadethis?”Sheglancedaround.

“Pearl.”OneofthewomenstareddaggersatVybutreceivedaglareassharpassewingscissorsandbackeddown.

“Really?Girl’sbeenlearning”Vynoddedinapproval “Usuallyweaskhertobringthenapkinsanddrinksforareason” Isnortedintomytea.Imaynothavebeenasouthernboy,butIknewaBibleBeltinsultwhenIheardone.

“MamaVy!”Oneofthewomenthatappearedtobealmostasoldasherhissed “Thatain’tnice”

“Idon’tdonice!Idothetruth,andthere’sareasonsheain’thadahusband.Shelooksokay,butifthewaytoaman’sheart isthroughhisstomach,she’sscrewed”

“Mama!”thewomangasped,exasperatedly.

“Theonlywoodthatwomaneverinspiredwasacasket!”Vytookabiteofthecookie.“Butthatmaychange…” “Myassisrighthere,MamaVy”Athin-setyoungerwomanwithaseverefacesqueezedthroughthekitchenandstaredme down.

Istuffedacookieintomymouthandraisedmyhandsinsurrender “Realgoodcookie”Ichewedthroughchocolatechips andcoconutflakeswithpecansthatmeltedovermytongue.

“Theyweremuffins,butIgotthedoughwrong”ThewomanthatIassumedwasPearlfrownedatmeasifexpecting judgment.

“BetterthanIcoulddo.Iburnedramentheothernight.”Isnortedandtookanother.“Brownsugar?”

“Sorghum Butit’snicetoseeagodappreciatesmyofferings”Shegavemeanod,andIstareddownatthecookie “Iamnot agod.I’mafreshlygraduatedhumanthatgotlostonthewaytomyparents’houseearliertoday.”Iheldupmy handsandPearlgaveMamaVyadubiouslook

“Alright,runt.Listenup.GimmeanotheroneofPearl’smuffin-cookies.”MamaVyheldahandupandreceivedacookiein ablink.Shebrokeitintotwopieces,holdingonepieceup,aboutthreequartersofacookie.“Whatisthis?”

“Acookie.”Ishrugged.

“Andthis?”Sheheldupthesmallerpiece.

“Apieceofacookie”Iwasn’tseeingtheanalogy

“Whyisthebigpieceacookieandthelittlepiecenot?”Shehuffedandstaredmedown.

“I it’sjustrounding Itwasenoughofacookietobeone,Iguess”Ishrugged “Tempesteoutthere?Heisthis.”MamaVyheldupthelargercookiehalf.“Andthisisyou.”Shewavedthelittlepiece. Shesmashedthemtogetherinelegantly,throwingcrumbsacrosstheplastictablecloth.

“IsthatpartofthewholeaspectthingBuckwastalkingabout?”Idon’tthinkI’deverfeltsomesortofpowerbefore.Not eveninmymiddleschooldaysdidItakepartinseancesorthosechanting-in-mirrorgames.Magicwasn’tsomethingIbelieved in Itmusthavebelievedinmethough

“Aspect…Youareoneaspectofhisnature,yes.You’reasortofkeytounlockingfullpotentialforoneofthem.Doyou knowwhatelementyouresonatewith?”MamaVyleanedoverandstaredathim “Leanyourassoverhereandletmegeta properlook,boy.”

Ileanedforward,andshehadmyfacesquishedbetweenthepalmsofherbony-knuckledhands,scentedstronglyof rosewater Herwatery,cloudedeyesquiveredasshestaredbeforesheslappedoneofmycheeksinwhatwasprobably supposedtobealovinggesture.Stillstung.

“IwastoldmaybelightningbecauseI’mgoodatcomputerstuff”Ididn’treallyfiguremyskillsetwasanythingspecial I workedhardtolearn,andIwasclever.So,IneverthoughtIwasdoinganythingspectacular,justthingsIwasuniquelysuited for BeinggaymadeitlesslikelyI’dhavechildren Andwithmyimmediatefamilybeingsodistantandaloof,itmadeiteven moreconvenientformetolivethatkindoflife.Iwasabitofaghost.

“I’veheardofthespiritsnowadayscomingto,ofmachineandman.Theycallthemselvesgods,butIthinkthey’realljust misplacedaspectsthatain’tfoundtheirgodyet”Shesniffedandchewedontheedgeofacookie “Lightningmaybeit Funny yournameisRaynethough.”

“Thunderandlightning Ithinkthat’dbealovelypair”IdaMayeswungthroughandputanotherdessertinfrontofme,a lemonbar.NotthelittlesquaresIwasusedtoatgatherings,butapalm-sizedslabofgelledlemonthatmademymouthwater. Lemonbarsweremyabsolutefavorite,andIdidn’tevenwaitforaforkbeforeIpickeditupandtookahugebite Itwasn’tas yellowasIwasusedtoortart,butreal.Thesugartickledmynose,andthefillingsmoothedovermytongue.

“Oh,dang,thisisgood.”ItookanotherbiteasIdaMayepuffedupwithpride.Itseemedlikeanytimemyplategotempty, Ihadanotherdessertbeingpiledinfrontofme

AsIwasnearingfull,abrusqueandnakedmanburstintothekitchendoorfromamudroom,panting.Hehadbladesof grassstuckinhisdarkhairandgrinnedfromeartoear “TempesteandtheBucklingStonearewolves!”Severalofthewomen haltedandgavehimadubiouslook.Theresthadtheirgazeslockedsouth.AsdidI.Hewasfairlygifted,andIavertedmygaze whenmycheeksburned.

“Tempesteandtheoldstonearemustangandbuck.Whywouldtheybetakingonwolfform?”IdaMayeputherhandson herhipsandfrowned.