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Five AlarmFire Paint by Numbers, Book Five NicoleDixon
Allrightsreserved
Thecharactersandeventsportrayedinthisbookarefictitious Any similarity torealpersons,livingordead,iscoincidentalandnotintendedby theauthor Nopartofthisbookmay bereproduced,orstoredinaretrievalsystem,ortransmittedinany formorby any means,electronic,mechanical,photocopying,recording,orotherwise,withoutexpresswritten permissionofthepublisher
ISBN:9798874097004
ASIN:B0CRLW1GGG
Coverdesignby:100Covers PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica
TitlePage
Copyright BloodRunsThin
Prologue
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Chapter16
Chapter17
Chapter18
Chapter19
Chapter20
Chapter21
Chapter22
Chapter23
Chapter24
Chapter25
Chapter26
Chapter27
Epilogue
BonusEpilogue
Acknowledgement
BooksInThisSeries
BooksByThisAuthor
AboutTheAuthor
This is not a book about a firefighter.
If you ’ re looking for that, this isn’t the book for you.
This is a scorching hot romance novel that will smoke your panties and light a fire between your thighs.
If you ’ re looking for that, you ’ re in the right place.
XOXO,Nicole Blood RunsThin Theysaybloodisthickerthanwater,butthebetrayalofbloodleavesyoucolder.
Slylikeafox,notanounceofsincerity.
FakelikeaHollywoodmovie nosignofintegrity.
Crylikeawolf,squanderlikeasheep.
Layyourheaddownatnightandwonderwhyyoucan’tsleep
Greedisacurseandmoneyisadisease itseparatesbloodwithmuchease
Aknifeintheback,wordshitlikeafist Youcan’terasethehurtlikeitneverexists
Theoneyouexpecttohaveyourbackwillhelptheenemywhenyou’reunderattack
Runandtell,makeyourstoryfit
Manipulatetheothers,they’llbelieveyouforabit
Attheendoftheday,it’syournarrativeatstake weallknowyouarenothingmorethananexhaustingfake
- JacobDixon
Prologue Tuck Cassandra Elyse Stafford,
We have some things to discuss I’m sorry I had to trash your place to find this This journal confirmed what I thought all along. I’m not who you assume I am, and yet I am exactly the man you think. Consider this your formal invitation I’m leaving you my number
You have sixty days
Your dearest brother, Tucker Stafford
Ifinishscrollingmynameandplacethecapbackonmyfinetip,blackinkpen,slidingitintothepocketofmygray slackswithhaste.
IquicklyscanbackoverthewordsI’vejotteddowninthediaryIwasfinallyabletolocate,hiddenbeneaththe mattressofherbed IlookaroundatthecompleteandutterdisasterI’veleftinherapartment MaybeIshouldhavestartedin thebedroom.
Mywordssoundmenacingenoughtogarnerherattention.
Idon’thavetimetodwell.I’vealreadybeenheretoolong.Theballisinhercourt.Now,IwaitandhopethatI’vedone enough.Ishovethediarybackbeneaththemattress.It’stheonlyitemI’veleftwhereitoriginallybelonged…whoops. Ithadtobedone.
IclosemyeyesbrieflyandremindmyselfofallthereasonsthatI’mdoingthis I’mriskingeverything
The rose
Myfatherisamanofmanysecrets He’smadeanameforhimselfasahighlysuccessfulrealestateinvestor Rubbing elbowswiththesocialelitewillgetyoueverywhere.Tradingdollarsignsforsoulsmightgiveyouworldlyprestige,butitwill alsoguaranteeyourspotinHell
I’mtheyoungest,thebabyoftheStaffordfamily Oneofthree
That’swhatmyfatherwouldhavethepublicbelieve,anyway It’safarce
I’vebeensearchingforthetruthsinceIwasfiveyearsold Iknowwhatyou’rethinking,reallyTucker,fiveyearsold? Yes.I’mhauntedbyawomanI’veneverformallymet.Herstorychangedmylife.Sincethatmoment,I’verefusedtosleepon myrelentlessjourneyforthetruth.Myfathermustbebroughttojusticeforhisactions.Hislistofindiscretionsspanssomuch furtherthanthissinglewoman
Unfortunately,eventsoflatehavespedupmyprocessofexposingHiltonStaffordasthemanhetrulyis Themanwho raisedmeisnotagoodman.Greed,infidelity,younameit.HetradedhissoultotheDevillongbeforeIwasborn.
He’sanarcissistatbest.Atworst,he’sacold-bloodedmurderer.
Now,he’srunningforSenator,andIcan’tallowthattohappen.Simpleasthat.I’mnofool.Irecognizetheplotof corruptionburiedbeneathafaçadeofdemocracy.Someonehastoexposethetruth,it’sme.I’msomeone.
I’mnotthepersontheythinkIam.I’manimposterinmyownlife aspy.Riskingitallfortruthandhonor.Something mydearol’dadwouldknownothingabout.I’majournalist,IwritewhatIsee.IseekthetruthinaseaofliesthatI’vebeen privytomyentirelife
Upuntilthispoint,I’veworkedalone IthoughtIcoulddothisbymyself Ican’t I’vehitawall IcanadmitwhenI needhelp.
Ineedsomeonewithunmatchedlegalintelligence.Ineedsomeonewillingtofightforwhat’sright,evenifitmeans takingdownaneliteempire Ineedsomeonewhoisnotafraidofmyfather,orhismoney
Ineedsomeonewillingtowatchtheworldburnforvengeance
Chapter1 Tucker Afew-ish months earlier… “H iltonTuckerStaffordyouhavetherighttoremainsilent ”Irollmywrists,andthecoldmetalbitesintomyskin
“No,thanks.”Idon’tlookup.Ikicksmallrocksonthecrackedasphaltwiththeheelofmyblackcombatboots.
Catchingmovementinmyperiphery,myattentionisdivertedfromtheburlycopI’mcurrentlychoosingtoignore.This manhasclearlyeatenonetoomanydonutsinhiscareerandneglectshisknowledgeofcurrentevents Hisbellyjutsout awkwardlybetweenus.
Instead,myeyesaredrawnupwardtosoot-coveredblondehair.ThewomanstandingadjacenttousiswhatIwould describeaspetite.Thetopofherheadbarelymeetsmyshoulders.Herponytailsitsslightlyaskewontopofherhead.Loose strandsfallaroundherfaceinmessydisarray Hersoftpaleskinistingedwithdirtthatmatchesthegrimeonmyexposed forearms.
Sheshouldn’tbedirtyorgrimy,notunderthesecircumstances.Itbothersme.Idon’tlikeit.What’sworse?I’mnotsure why Ihavenotiestoheroranywomanforthatmatter I’mheretodoajob nothingmore,nothingless
She’swearingapairofbluejeansthathugtheslightcurvesofhernarrowhipsandanoversizedt-shirt.Intruth,the shirtisprobablyofstandardsizing,butitswallowshersmallframeandleaveseverythingaboveherwaistlinetothe imagination I’vealwaysenjoyedsurprises
Not why you ’ re here, Tuck Focus
Shewasn’tsupposedtobeheretonight That’sasurpriseIcouldhavedonewithout
Myplanwenttocompleteshit,andnowthefilefoldersIwassearchingforhavenodoubtgoneupinaplumeofsmoke Ihadonejob:findthem,confirmthename,verifythedate,andgetthehelloutoftown.
Waterrunsinsteadystreamsalongtheconcretewherewestand.Smokesaturatestheairandswirlsaroundus,coating theinsideofourlungswithaslowpoisonthatwillnodoubtleaveusbothcoughingfordays Firefighterscontinuetobattlethe blazethatlightsupthenightskyandcastsaneerieglowoverwhatistypicallyaquaintstreet.Themeninfilthyturnoutgearall butignoreusastheytrytosalvagewhat’sleftofHydrangea&Vine,aflowershopinasmalltownaboutthirtyminutesoutside ofthecity
“You’vegotthewrongguy,he’snotHiltonStafford!”I’mtakenabackasagrowlrollseffortlesslyupfromherthroat She’sdefensiveonmybehalf,whichsurprisesmebecauseshedoesn’thaveadamnclueastowhyI’mheretonight,invading herspaceandendangeringherlife
Itrynottoreact,hearinghersaymyfather’snamesocallously.
It’scomicalthatshethinksthey’darrestHilton.AworlddoesnotyetexistwhereHiltonStaffordiscuffedandledto prison. One day.
Istareintoherblueeyes.They’relightblue,likeacloudlessskyonahotsummerday.TheclaritythatIseethere speaksvolumesabouther She’spure Ballsyashell,butpure “No,I’mnot I’mTuck TuckerStafford”Igruntoutthewords Nousetryingtohidemyidentity I’vebeeninthetabloidsenoughthatI’measilyrecognizable That,andI’mnot beyondusinganymeanstogetoutofthepredicamentI’vefoundmyselfin.Usingmynameisatthetopofthatlist.Idon’thave timetodealwiththistonight I’mgoingtohaveahardenoughtimeexplainingthisifandwhenwordgetsbacktomyfather
Imightbeagrown-assman,butmyagewillnevermattertoHilton Hedemandscontrolofeveryoneandeverything aroundhim.Fallinlineordie.Thereisnoin-between.I’msearchingformyfreedom,butuntilthatdaycomes,Iprefertolive.
Themedicstrytodirectmynewacquaintanceintoawaitingambulance,butshepullsaway,refusinganypartofit.I casuallypropmyselfupagainstthepatrolcar,handcuffed.Ithinkthey’vefiguredoutthatI’mnotaflightriskand,despitethe cop'sbestattempts,thechaossurroundinguscontinuestointermittentlypullhisattentionawayfromme.
Slowly,sheapproacheswhereIstand.“I’mDaisy.Yousayyournamelikeitearnsyoufreedrinks.”Shestopsabouta
footawayandsticksoutherhand.Iliftaneyebrow,asshewaitsforahandshakethatIamcurrentlyunabletoaccommodatein mystateofincapacitation.
Realizinghermistake,shequicklydropsherhandbutdoesn’tmove.Ablushcreepsupherneckandcolorshercheeks. Thecontrastagainstherskinisobviouseveninthedarkness,litonlybythelightsoftheemergencyvehiclessurroundingus
“Iknowexactlywhoyouare Gowiththemedics,Daisy”Inodmychininthedirectionofthewaitingparamedics They’relookingincreasinglymoreannoyedbytheminute.Sheneedstogo.Havingherherewillonlycomplicatethingsfurther.
Thecopthatcuffedmeducksintothecabofhispatrolcartoansweranincomingcallonhisradio.Withanyluck,I won’tbeinthesecuffsmuchlonger
DaisyhuffsandIfollowhereyestothecopbehindme.Iseethedeterminationasitsettlesacrossherfeatures.She takesasteppastme.Myhandsaretied.Ican’tdoanythingtostoptheimpendingtrainwreck.
“Daisy,”Isayhernameagainasshepassesme,thistimeinwarning,butshecompletelyignoresme.
“Excuseme.Excuseme,sir.”Shewalksupdirectlybehindthecopandtapshimontheshoulder.
Jesus,doesshehavenoself-preservationskills?Isshetryingtogetherselfthrownintojailtonight?Firstthefireand nowthis
“Stepaway,ma’am HandswhereIcanseethem”Heturnsandshebacksuponestep,barelygivinghisenlargedgut enoughroombetweenthetwoofthem.
“I’mwarningyou,ma’am.Takeastepback.”Hereachesforhisbelt,andIknowhe’sgettingreadytoapprehendher. Fromallobservations,she’sharmless She’scompletelyunarmedunlessyoucountthemouthshe’sgotonher
“No,youaren’tlistening.You’vegotthewrongguy.Youcan’tjustcomeintomyflowershopandarrestthemanwho savedmylifeand,quitepossibly,myentirefuture.”Iwatchutterlybewilderedassheliftsherhandbetweenthemand,using herdelicatefinger,pokeshimdirectlyinthechest
Hiseyesfollowmine Ithinkhe’sstunned
“ThisflowershopbelongstoHiltonStafford,miss ?”Helooksfromherfinger,whichisstillgluedtohisbulletproofvest,andbackuptohereyes.Shedoesn’tallowhimtofinishbeforeshe’salreadyinterruptinghimagain.
“Chandler.DaisyMaeChandler.Thisismyshop.I’veworkedheremyentirelife.Myauntowneditbeforeme,andmy grandmotherbeforeher Withallduerespect,youdon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout”Herwordsareclippedwith certainty.
Iwishshewereright.Igetthefeelingthatthetruthwillbreakherheart.
Despitewhatshesays,he’snotwrong.Theflowershopdoesbelongtomyfather,unfortunately.That’swhyI’mhere,in themiddleofthenight,onwhatwasavacantstreetjustanhourago.
“Daisy.Gowiththemedics.Now.”Irepeat.
Pushingoffofthepatrolvehicle,Imaneuvermybodyintothepracticallynonexistentspacebetweenthem Itryto communicatewithherusingmyeyes,butshe’snottakingmycues.
“Iwon’tstandforthis.Fine.Cuffme.”Sheyellsatthecopovermyshoulder,andIhangmyheadindefeat.Icanstrike telepathyfromthelistofskillsonmyresume
Shecan’tobeyforonesecond I’mequalpartsintriguedandfuckingpissed ThisisthethanksIgetforpullingherout ofthatdamnfire.
“Daisy…”Igroanundermybreath.
“Ireallydon’twanttodothis,ma’am.”
Igiveupandstepoutofthewaywhenthecopbehindmebeginstomove.Shemadeherbed.Itried.
IlookoverjustintimetoseeDaisyliftherhandsonherhips.Shestraightensherspineandgains,eh,maybeaquarter ofaninchonhersmallframe
“Youlethimgo,oryoutakethebothofus You’retired,aren’tyou?Ibetyou’rereadytogetoffyourshift Hungry? Well,guesswhat?Youarrestmetoo,andyou’llbedoingpaperworkuntillunchtimetomorrow.Soundsfun,huh?Imean, honestly,whatdidwedo?Thisguysavedmylife,andI’mmerelyatargetinafirethatstoleeverythingIhadleftinthisworld thatmattered.Doyoureallywanttochoosetobethebadguytonight?Officer…”Sheleansintohisspaceagain,completely
unphasedbyhisuniformandthreatsofapprehension “Officer Remington ”Shereadsoff Hischestrisesandfallsashestaresatherinastonishmentthatmatchesmyown.
“Dispatchsaysyou’recleartogoMr.Stafford.Pleasesendourapologiestoyourfather.”
Slowly,heextricateshimselffromherimposingfingerandstepsbehindme,uncuffingme.Ishakeoutthecrampingin mywristsasheturnsbacktoDaisy.
“LookslikeIonlyhavepaperworkforoneafterall”Holdingthehandcuffsthathejustremovedfrommywrists, OfficerRemingtondanglesthemfromhisfingerashespeakstoDaisy.
Ishouldwalkdownthatstreet,hoponmymotorcycleandgetthehelloutofhere.EverysecondIstandhereisone moresecondthatI’llhavetoanswerforlater.Idon’towethiswomananything.I’mastrangertoher mostly.Sheseemedto recognizemyfather’sname,whichdoesn’tnecessarilybodewellformefromanyangle.
Ididn’tgetwhatIcameherefor,butit’sgonenow.It’stoolate.Ineedtocutmylossesandfindanotherway.
I’msweating.Myshirtissoakedthroughandstickstomyskinuncomfortably.Heatfromtheblazeradiatesacrossthe streetandlicksatmyskin,thethoughtofwhatcouldhavebeentauntingmeinthebackofmymind.
Itakeastepoffofthesidewalk.
Fuckit.
Thesmokehasgottentome I’velostmydamnmind
“She’scomingwithme,”IsayasIbacktrackuntilI’monceagainstandingnexttoDaisy Sheholdsherwristsoutin frontofherbody,readyandwaitingtobecuffedfornoreason.Whodoesthat?Theonlythingshe’sguiltyofistalkingtoo damnmuch.
“Yousureaboutthat?”Thecopeyesmeskeptically,buthislipstipupintoagrinthatsayshe’drathersendherwithme thanshoveherintohisvehiclewhenthere’safull-fledgedfirebehindusthreateningtoburndownhalfofMainStreet.
“I’lltakeherhome,”Ireiteratereluctantly.
Shelooksupatmelikeshewantstochallengemebut,givenheroptions,I’mherbestbetatthemoment.Icutmyeyes inherdirection.Foronce,please,justfuckingkeepquiet.
“Thankyou,Mr.Stafford.Haveagoodnight.Weshouldhaveareportreadywiththecauseofthefirewithinforty-eight hours;we’remakingthisapriority”OfficerRemingtontipshishatinmydirection,acompleteone-eightyinhisdemeanor fromthemomentheslappedthecuffsonme.FunnyhowthingsworkwhenyourlastnameisStafford.
TakingDaisy’shandinmine,Iwastenotimetuggingherdownthestreetbehindme.Itfeelslikedayshavepassed,not justafewhours Thiswassupposedtobeaquickstop
WitheachstepItakeIbecomemoreawareofmyskintouchinghers Idon’tdropherhand Ican’trisklettingherrun backtowardtheblaze.Thehaironmyarmsprickleswithawarenessofourproximity.
Theshockwillwearoffandshe’llrealizethatherbelovedflowershopisgone.Idon’twanttohavetoanswerforthat. Honestly,Ihavenoanswerstogive,onlysuspicions
“Whodoyouthinkyou ”Sheliftsontothetipsofhersneakersandhissesthewordsasclosetomyearasherlackof heightwillallow.Ifeeltheheatofherbreathonmyneck.Themeaninginherwordscomesacrossloudandclear.She’sangry withmeforsavingherassnotonce,buttwice
“Shutyourmouth,Daisy,beforeIshutitforyou”Ileanintoherspace,cuttingheroffbeforeshecancontinue This isn’tthetimeorplaceforthisdiscussion.
Herquickintakeofbreathisaudible.Itcanbeheardevenamongstthechaosthatsurroundsus.Ileadherdownthe street,furtherawayfromthefireandturnleftdownanabandonedalleyway.Whenwereachmymotorcycle,carefullyhidden behindalargegreendumpster,Idropherhandandsnatchupthehelmetfromtheseat
HermouthpopsopenasIshovethehelmetontoherheadinoneswiftmotion Grippingherhipsinmyhands,Ilifther ontotheseat,forcinghertostraddlethebike.AmIbeingatouchoverlyaggressive?Maybe.ButI’mnottakinganychances withthisone She’sunpredictableatbest,afuckinggrenadeatworst–andwe’veonlyjustmet
ShescootsbackasImakeroomformyselfinfrontofher.Herthighsgripmyhips,andItrynottoletmymindwander toplacesit’snotallowed.
“Youdon’tknowwhereIlive.”SheleansovermyshoulderasIgripthehandlebarswithwhiteknuckles. “Imakeitmyjobtoknoweverything.”
Chapter2 Daisy IthinkI’mbeingkidnapped
Mythroatburnsfromsmokeinhalation.Myeyesitch.I’mpositiveI’veneverlookedworse.Ididn’texpecttosee anyonetonightsoIchosecomfort,notaesthetics ItwassupposedtobemeandthefloralarrangementsIwasworkingonfor aweddinginthecitythisweekend.Thatweddingwasmybigbreak.Itwassupposedtoputmytinyflowershoponthemap.
Ugh.Thishasbeenareallyfuckinglongday.Thelongest.
ThewindhitsmyfaceasweflydownMainStreet.Idon’tturnaround.Ican’tlookback.Mylifeisupinflames. Literally.
Cometothinkofit,lookingatmycurrentsituation,beingkidnappedbyasmolderingmanonamotorcycleisbetterthan thealternativeoffacingwhatmyrealityhasbecome.
Thismanissmolderinginboththefigurativeandliteralsenseoftheword.Ikindoflovethatforhim.OrIwould,ifI didn’thavesomanyquestions
NoneofwhichIcanask,asmywordsaresilencedthemomentthebeastbetweenmythighsroarstolifeandI’mforced towrapmyarmsaroundthestrong,solidtorsoofamanthatsharesanamewithamanthatIdetest.
Stafford.
Gross.
Thatmanisatotalcreep,theabsoluteslimiestofslimy.He’snothingatalllikethemanthatsitsbetweenmythighs…at leastIhopehe’snot.Despitemycompleteandutterexhaustion,tingleslightupmybellylikefirefliescaughtinamasonjaras theblackdenimonhisscrumptious-lookingassvibratesagainstmynetherregions ThisisthemostactionI’veseenin months…okay,fine, years.Yeah,Icheckedhimoutwhilehewashandcuffedearlier.Judgemeallyouwant;Idonotcareinthe slightest
ThemenIseeonadailybasisareeithertaken,don’tswinginmydirectionorthey’rebigfatjerks Thosearethethree optionsyougetinaflowershop.
Speakingofjerks,HiltonStaffordhasbeencomingtomyfamily’sshopforyearsandheisthebiggestjerkofthemall. Myearliestmemoriesofhimdatebacktowhenmymomwasstillalive Everyweekitwasadifferentorder Everyweeka differentflower.Buttheabsoluteworstpartaboutit?Witheachchangeinflowercameachangeinaddressee.AuntFran sworeshe’dneverseenamanwithsomanymistresses
Shewasalwayssonicetotheoldgoat WhenIfinallygotthenervetoaskheraboutit,hereyesdarkened Sheturned moreseriousthanI’deverseenher.ShegrippedmyhandsinhersandmademeswearthatI’dalwaystreathimjustlikeallof ourothercustomers.Shemademepromisetoalwaysbekindandrespectful,eventhoughheneversaidthankyou,andnotonce didheslipmoneyintothetipjarattheregister.
AndIhave.I’vealwaysbeencordial.I’mnotwillingtolosethatkindofrepeatbusiness,evenifIcan’tstandtheguy. DoIconvenientlyforgettoputtheflowerfoodinwithhisweeklyorder?Maybe.
Themandripsmoney,andhecan’tbotherhimselftoslipaLincolnintothetipjaronoccasion?Thattellsmeeverything Ineedtoknowabouthim
The tip jar Ugh,it’sprobablygonenowtoo
I’mnotsurewhatitsaysaboutme,butthefactthatmylivelihoodisnowasmokingpileofashbarelyregistersonmy Richterscaleofbadluck.It’slikeI’vecometoexpectanythingthatIloveorcareabouttobecompletelyobliteratedata moment’snotice
Mylifeissofarfromperfectit’salmostlaughable Wecouldcallit aseriesofunfortunateevents That’dbeputtingit lightly.
ButIamnopessimist.Irefusetoadmitdefeat.Myglassishalffull,andI’mchuggingamargaritadammit.
Regrettably,alcoholisprobablyoffthetabletonight,giventhecurrentstateofmydamagedesophagus.Whichbrings mebacktotheentirereasonI’mspeedingthroughthenightonadeathtraponwheelswithapotentialkidnapper…orarsonist. Whyelsewasheatmyshopinthemiddleofthenightattheexactmomentafirebrokeoutintheloadingbay?
WeturndownthestreetIgrewupon I’velivedherealmostmyentirelife,inthissmallbungalowthat’slikemyvery ownsecurityblanket.Afewyearsback,Iinheriteditfrommyaunt.IfAuntFrancouldseemenow…she’dprobablygivemea highfiveandhandmeastripofcondoms Shewasthebestkindofaunt;shewasmybestfriend
Aftermyparentsdied,itwasAuntFranwhotookmein–noquestionsasked Iwassix Myparentsweremugged whileoutonararedatenightinthecity.InmydreamsIliketoimaginethatmydaddiedahero,defendingmymomagainst theirattacker Nooneknowsforsure,butI’mcertainthat’showithappened Theywerevictimsofasenselesscrime Victims, Ihatethatword.
Backthen,MomandAuntFranrantheshoptogether.Whenmyparentsdied,therewasnooneelse.Myaunttookmein andraisedmeasherownwhilesingle-handedlyrunningthefamilybusiness.Shenevermarried,neverhadanychildren.Itwas thetwoofusagainsttheworld Untilitwasn’tanymore Cancer’sabitchthattakesnoprisoners
Nowit’sjustme,againsttheworld…andtheworldpacksameanfuckingpunchwhenyournameisDaisyMae Chandler.
Browneyesturnbacktolookatme.Themomenttheymeetmine,Irealizewe’vecometoacompletestop.Howlong havewebeensittinghere?Hesmiles,andit’shandsomeanddangerous.I’mshakenfrommythoughts. Tucker Stafford.
“Goinside,Daisy.”Henodstowardmyfrontdoor,butIdon’tbudge.Forwhateverreason,Ican’tseemtogetmylegs towork.Idon’tlikebeingorderedaround;itirksme.
Cuttingtheengineonthemotorcycle,heletsoutafrustratedgroanthatechoesthroughouttheemptystreet.It’sstilldark out IfIhadtoguess,it’sprobablyclosertomorningthannight Ileftmyphonebackintheshop IfIwereabettingperson, whichI’mnot,becauseI’mbasicallytheunluckiestpersonontheplanet,I’dbetit’sagoneralongwithmypurseand everythingelseIhadwithme It’llallneedtobereplaced That’saproblemfortomorrow Ortoday Whicheverdayitis Luckily,Ikeepasparehousekeystowedawayunderoneoftheflowerpotsonmyfrontporch.
“Doyoueverdoasyou’retold?”Hiskneebrushesmylegandsendsazapofelectricitystraightupmycalf.
Heextricateshimselffromtheclutchesofmythighsandstands.Hewaitsbesidewherehe’sparkedthemotorcyclenext tothecurb,andtheimpatienceradiatesfromhimsostronglythatIfeellikeIcanactuallyhearit.
“Whenitfitsmyagenda”Ishrugandspinmybodytooneside,liftingmylegupandovertheseatbutnotyetstanding I’vegottofindsomestrengthfromsomewhere,butIjustcan’tmusteritatthemoment.
“Youalmostgotyourselfarrestedbackthere.”HegrabsthebulkyhelmetthatIsomehowmanagedtoforgetIwas wearingandpullsitoffofmyheadwithaquicktug Myhairfallsintomyeyes,theponytailelasticIwasusingearlierhaving finallygivenup.Maybethat’sasignthatIneedtogiveuptoo.
MaybeIshouldgiveupfightingtheUniverseandadmitdefeat.Maybethatwouldbeeasierthanlivinginthisconstant battleandneverwinning.
“WhydoyouknowwhereIlive?”IblurtoutthefirstofmanyquestionsthatIneedimmediateanswersto.
“Wedon’tneedtohaveaconversation,Daisy.Youdon’tneedtoknowwhoIam.Forgetmyname.Forgetthisnight everhappened”Heavoidsmyquestionaltogether Hestepstotheside,motioningupthestonepathtomyfrontdoorasifto hurrymealong.
“Right,I’lljustgoinsideandsnuggleupinmycomfybed.I’lldreamaboutsugarplumfairiesandrainbowunicorn farts ThenI’llwakeupandgotoworkand ohwait,Ican’t”Icrossmyarmsovermychest,irritatedthathethinkshecan makealloftheruleshere.Whodoesthisguythinkheis?
Liftinghishandtohischin,herubsthestubblethatpeppershisjawline.Hethinksbeforesaying,“I’msorryaboutthat.” Soundslikesincerity,butI’mnotbuyingit.Isuspecthe’sjustareallygoodfaker.
“No,you’renot.”Callinghisbluff,Istandfromthemotorcycleandstraightentomyfullheight.Allfivefeetandtwo inches Thisguy’sgotafulltwelveinchesonme,butI’vegotnewsforhim,myblondehairdoesn’tcomefromabottle,andI haveblueeyesthat’llswindleacarsalesmanwithasinglewink.Hedoesn’tintimidateme.
AftereverythingI’vegonethroughinmylife?Honey,please.Notmuchintimidatesmeanymore.
Iliveforthemotto…how much worse can it get?
Tryme.
“What,youthinkitwasme?YouthinkIsetthefiretoyourbelovedflowershop?”Hedarestolooksurprisedatmy suspicions.Ifitquackslikeaduck…it’saduck.
Waddle, waddle.
“Whyelsewereyououtinthemiddleofthenightsnoopingaroundmyshop?”Finally,Iaskthequestionthat’sbeen drivingmecrazy Ineedanswers ThiscompletestrangerswoopedinoutofthinairandcarriedmeoutoftheflamesasIfought alosingbattle,but…why?Whywashethere?
Idon’tmakeenoughmoneytoemployanyone There’stoomuchtodoandnotenoughtimetodoit Idomybestworkin themiddleofthenight.Icanthinkwheneverything’squiet,andthere’snoonetointerruptme.It’ssomuchhardertofocusin themiddleofthedaywhencustomersareconstantlycominginandoutoftheshop.
“I’vealreadytoldyou.Weshouldn’tbehavingthisconversation.”Hiswordsareclippedandrigid,anditbothersme thathecontinuestodismissmyquestionssoeasily Ifhedidn’twanttohavethisconversation,heshouldhavejustletOfficer Remingtontakemein.
“Thenstoptalking!”Ithrowmyhandsupandpushpasthim,stompingupthepathtomyfrontporch.
Ifullyexpecttohearhismotorcycletearoutinthedistanceaftermylittleoutburst,butforamoment,it’sdeceptively quiet
“Wait!”Heyellsafterme HisvoiceissoloudthatIfearhe’swokeneverypersonontheentireblock
Thisisasafeneighborhood IamthevicepresidentoftheNeighborhoodCrimeWatchgroup HowwoulditlookifI werecaughtoutgallivantinginthemiddleofthenightwithapotentialarsonist?
Sure,Ialmostgotmyselfarresteddefendingthismanlessthananhourago,butthatwasbrazenDaisyintheheatofthe momentprotectingmysavior Thatwasnoble NowthatI’mhomeandwe’rebackonmystreetandthismanmightactuallybe anarsonist,Ican’triskbeingseenlikethis.Especiallywhenhecontinuestoevademyquestions.
Why?I’mthinkingofasix-letterwordthatstartswiththeletter g (u-i-l-t-y).
Ispinonthetoesofmysneakers,losingmybalanceandnearlytopplingovermygerberadaisies.Ijustplantedthese flowerbedslastweek Mybreathcatchesinmylungs Thatwasaclosecall
“Forwhat?”Iwhisper-shoutbackathimasIattempttoregainmyfooting Forsomeonewhoswearshedoesn’twantto talktome,Ican’tseemtogetthismantoleave.
Slippinghishandsintothefrontpocketsofhisjeansandrockingbackontheheelsofhisboots,hestandsinfrontofhis motorcycle.Hisbrowspinchtogetherinthought,buthesaysnothing.
“Spititout.”Ireiterate,irritationcoloringmyvoicethelongerhestaresatme.Idon’tknowhowmuchmoreIcan handletonight I’mmaxedout
“Ineedafavor,”hereleasesaloudsigh Likehecan’tbelievehe’saskingmeforanything Shockmesilly I’malmost assurprisedasheis.Ipopmyhipout,shiftingmyweighttooneleg.Lookwho’sgottheupperhandnow.
“WhyshouldIhelpyou?You’reacriminal”IsmirkwithallofthesassthatIcangarnergivenmylimitedcapacityfor dealingwithbullshitatthemoment.
Hiseyesnarrow.Intwostrideshe’sstandinginfrontofmeagain.Thetipsofhisbootstouchmysneakers.Ihaveto lookuptomeethiseyes.Welp,therehegoes.He’ssmolderingagain,andit’smeltingmyinsides.Sheesh,Ihavegottogetout more
“You’vegotitallwrong,DaisyMae Isaved you Youowe me ”
Ithinkbacktothefire Iwasinthemiddleofaparticularlyintricatearrangement Mypersonalworkstationiscloserto thefrontoftheshopsothatIcansimultaneouslyworkandwatchforcustomersduringtheday.Tonightthough,itwasempty.I washyper-focused Thebaby’sbreathaccentsthebriderequestedwerereallygivingmearunformymoney
Ididn’tsmellthesmokeuntilitwastoolate Thefirewascomingfromtheloadingbay,quicklyengulfingmysupply room.ImmediatelyIdroppedeverythingandrantothefrontdoor.Itwaslocked.Icouldn’tsee,Icouldn’tbreathe.Panicraced throughmyveins.Everysurvivallessontaughttomeingradeschoolwentoutthewindowwiththebillowingsmoke.Icouldn’t findmykeys,andtheenragedflameswerecomingcloserbythesecond.
Outofnowhere,amanappeared.Withoutaword,hepulledmeintohisarmsandranstraightthroughtheflames.
Everythingafterthathappenedsofast.Thisisasmalltown.AsinglepatrolcardrivesupanddownMainStreetatallhoursof thenight.It’soneofthereasonsIfeltsafeenoughtoworkintheshopbymyselfatnight.
Thisstranger…heran,carryingmeuntilweburstfromthebackdooroutontotheasphalt.Ourfeetbarelyhitthe sidewalkandsirenswailedinthedistance Policeandfirerescuewerecalledfromneighboringtowns
NextthingIknow,themanwhosavedmeisbeinghandcuffedbycopsIdon’trecognize,andparamedicsaretryingto shovemeintoanambulance.
So,maybehe'snotwrong.Hedidsaveme.Butwhy?Andwheredidhecomefromifhewasn’tthepersonwhostarted thefiretobeginwith?Hewantsfavorsbutwon’tgivemeanyanswers HowdoIknowIcantrusthim?WhatifI’mwrongand heisexactlylikehiscreepyoldman?
Theansweris…Ican’t.Ican’ttrusthim.
“Excuseme?Saythatagain.Onemoretime,formycutelittledelicateears.”Ibringmyhanduptomyear,cuppingit andleaningfurtherintohisspace Thesmellofburningwood,smokeandashinvadesmysensesandmakesmewoozy
“You Owe Me DaisyMae”Hiswordsareademand
I’mslappedinthefacebytheaudacityofthisman Ifhethinksthathecanbullymeintohelpinghimwithwhateveritis thatheneedshelpwith,he’sgotanotherthingcoming.Idropmyhandandplaceitrightbackonmyhip.Ineedtheadditional supportfortherebuttalIamfullypreparedtobringtothissituation
“Whew,foraminutethereIthoughtyousaidIowedyousomethingforburningmyflowershopdown ”
Mywordsarestolenstraightfrommymouth Idon’thavetimetoreact I’myankedoffbalance Hislargehandwraps aroundthebackofmyheadandpullsmetohim.Hisfingerstangleinthemessthatismyhair.Themomenthislipstouchmine, Isinkintohim.Mybodybetraysme.HislipsarewarmandsomuchsofterthanIwouldhaveexpectedfromsomeoneso… grouchyandirritating.
Myspinetingles,andIfeelmyselfliftupontomytoesreachinghigher,searchingformore.
Histongueswipesatmylips,andIopenforhim,allowinghimjustasecondtoexplorebeforeIcometomyeverlovingsensesandrealizethatI’mkissingavagabondrighthereinfrontofthedandelions WhoamI?
Ipushathischest,andthemomentisbrokenashepullsawayslowly Hislipstipupintoaknowinggrin,andthatgrin aloneisexactlywhyIrefusetobeindebtedtothisman.
“Youdidn’taskmeifyoucouldkissme.”Ifeignindignationorattheveryleasttryto.Iwanttosoundoffended, disgustedeven.Butthat’snothowthewordsleavemylips.Myvoicebetraysme.Mywordssoundbreathy,andIhatetoeven admitit,but lustful
I’mshockedbyhim He’scrassandboldwhenheshouldn’tbe,that’sall Thatcoupledwiththemixtureoftonight’s eventsistoomuch.
“Youdidn’taskmetosaveyourasstonight.Boththingshappened.I’mnotmadabouteitherofthem.Now,aboutthat favor IneedyoutohelpmeretrievesomerecordsthatIhopetoGodyouhavebackeduponadrivesomewhere”
Myheadspinslikeit’sonaswivel,asIstruggletocatchup Records?
“Pretentiousmuch?Imean,yousayrecords likeanoldmanwithanexpensivecigarhabit.Whatgives?Whattheheck kindofrecordsandbackupsareyoulookingforanyway?Idon’thaveanythingthatbelongstoyou.”
“Onthecontrary,Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout,Daisy.Idon’thaveanaccent.ThisisthewayIspeak. Forgivemeforhavinganeducation It’stheonlydamnthingmyfathergavemeworthanything Listen,youhavefilesthatI needtosee.Informationonlyyouhaveaccessto.”
“You’velostme,Tucker.”Iblowoutabreathbeforecontinuing.“I’mtrying,butI’mtired.You’remakingmeworktoo hardtounderstandwhattheheckitisthatyouthinkyouneedfromme CanthisnotwaituntilI’vesleptatleastanhourorten?” Igiveup Isurrender
Hemakesanoncommittalsoundinthebackofhisthroatandtakesastepback “I’llswingbytomorrowaroundnoon I’llaccompanyyoutoassessthedamageattheshop,andthenwecandiscussthatfavor.”
Idon’tneedhishelp,andIsureashelldon’tneedhimto accompany meanywhere.Whosaysthat? Accompany…like thisis1927.
“WhatifIdon’twantyoutopickmeupatnoon?Didyouconsiderthat?Orwereyoutoobusyassaultingmewithyour tongue?”Ifirebackathim,butmywordslacktheintendedheat.I’mtappedout.
Ignoringmycontinuedprotests,hewalksbacktohismotorcycleandslidesontotheseat.
“Noon,Daisy.Goodnight.”Hecallsbackoverhisshoulderbeforetheengineofhismotorcycleroarstolife,andthen he’sgone
I’mleftstandingalone Ihavetowonderifthisisalljustareallybadnightmare Iliftmyfingertipstomylips,where theystilltinglefromtheremnantsofthekissIneveraskedfor,butdon’tthinkI’llbeabletoquicklyforget.
Canasinglekissfromastrangerruinaperson?Noreason,justaskingforafriend
Chapter3 Tucker “T ucker”
IquicklyminimizethedocumentI’vebeenworkingonandlookuptomeetapairofbrowneyesthatmatchmy own Iwishtheydidn’t Thecoloristhesame,butIhopethatmineneverlookasemptyandlifelessashis
Iclosemylaptopandclaspmyhandstogether,placingthemontop,wheretheycaneasilybeseen Iknowthedrill I’ve beendoingthismyentirelife.“Father,”Ianswerassertivelybecausethereisnootherchoicewhenyou’retalkingtotheDevil.
Ilivealoneinanopen,loft-styleapartmentinthecity;Ihaveforyears.Thatdoesn’tstopthemanwhostandsbeforeme fromintrudingwheneverhedeemsitnecessarytodoso.WhichusuallycorrespondswithsomethingI’vedonetodisplease him.
IstudiedmasscommunicationandjournalismatoneofthemostprestigiousuniversitiesintheUnitedStates.I graduatedatthetopofmyclass.Whatdoesthatmeanexactly?AbsolutelynothingifIcan’tmanagetopublishsomething worthwhiletothemasses Anditsureasfuckmeansnothingtothemanstandinginfrontofme,whothinksmychoiceof professionisawasteofmygeneticallyinherited assets.
Iguess,accordingtoDaisy,ifIgotnothingfromfurtheringmyeducationandgrowingupamongtheelite,atleastIhave my whatdidshecallit pretentious accent
Writingismypassion Ichosepassionoverpracticality Ichosepassionoverthefamilybusiness DoIregretmy decision?No.DidthatchoicebitemeintheasswhenIhadtostepoutintotherealworld?Absolutely.
WhenIrefusedtomovebackinwithmyparentsaftercollege,mydadmademeanofferthatIshouldhaverefused.I didn’t Icouldn’t Itdidn’tmakepracticalsense Tryingtomakeitonthestreetssellingcommissionedworkforpennieswasn’t goingtohelpmeaccomplishmyendgoal.
I’vefoundmyselfinauniquesituation.IneedtomaintainarelationshipwithHiltoninordertocontinueworkingon thisproject Ican’tblowourfamilytohellandbackuntilIhaveenoughdynamitetodoso,andthemomentIbecome completelyestranged,Imayaswellbedead.AndalloftheworkI’vedonetoexposemyfatherforthemanhetrulyis?It wouldhaveallbeenfornothing.
HiltonownsapropertyheiswillingtoallowmetoliveinwhileIcontinuetowork.Don’tletthekindgesturefoolyou. Ihavenodelusionsofprivacy Mylivinghereismerelyatacticthatallowshimtomaintaincontrolovermylife Which,much tomydismay,heexerciseswheneverhedamnwellpleases.
Iknewthismomentwascoming,itwasjustamatterofwhen.
“CaretoexplainwhyIwasawokeninthemiddleofthenightlastnight?”Hesubtlyadjustshissuitjacketandstaresout oftheexpansivefloor-to-ceilingwindowsthatlookoutoverthecitybelow.Iliveinanewlyrevitalizedarea.Ilovethevibe here,hehatesit.
Myshouldersstiffen.Iknowhe’sresponsibleforthefire,andIdon’tthinkit’sacoincidencethatIwasthere.I’mnot surewhotippedhimofforhowmuchheknows,butthefactthathesleptpeacefullythroughthenightwhilesomeone’s livelihoodburnttotheground,nottomentionhisownsonwasonthepremises,speaksvolumes.
“Idon’tknow.CaretoexplainwhyHydrangea&Vinewaslituplikeabirthdaycandleatasweetsixteenpartylast night?”Myhandstighten,andmyknucklespresstogetherfirmlyagainstthetopofmylaptop ItoethelinebetweenwhatItruly wanttosaytohimandwhatIknowIcangetawaywith.
“Allgoodthingsmustcometoanend.”Herollshisshoulderswithannoyance noremorse.Nosignofconcern.Nota flinchofsurprise.
Icanfeelmytemperbuilding.
“Therewasawomaninside,Dad.”Myvoicerises,andI’munabletocontrolit.
“Right,theflowershopgirl?Yes,well,she’sneverbeenverybright,thatone.Itallcomesdowntobreeding,honestly. Thebloodlineofthatfamilyisn’tverystrong,Tucker.”Hecontinuestostareoutthewindow.
HowwelldoesheknowDaisyandherfamily?Iknowheownsthebuildingthattheflowershopislocatedinandthat he’sbeenplacingweeklyordersthereforyears,butIwasn’tawarehewasinvestedinthatfamilyenoughnordidhecare enoughtoknowanythingabouttheirfamilydynamics
“Ipulledherout ShewouldhavediedifIhadn’tbeenthere”Iconfess It’strue Shewasn’tsupposedtobethere Inandout Thatwastheplan
“Unfortunate,really Survivalofthefittest,son,isn’tthatwhatI’vealwaystaughtyou?Whichbringsmebacktomy originalquestion.Whywereyouthere,Tucker?Whatbusinessdidyouhavethere?Isitthelittleflowergirl?Prettyyoung thing,butwellbelowyoursocialstatus”
MyinsidesrollathisinsinuationthatDaisyissomehowbelowme.Ifanything,Idon’tdeserveawomanofhercaliber. Ibarelyknowher,butIsawenoughlastnighttoknowthatshe’stoogoodforme.Evenatherworst,she’sbetterthanwhatI deserve Mylifeistoodangerous I’mnogoodinpairs I’maloneforareason Thefactthatheknowsofherexistenceandhas watchedherisenoughtoputherindanger.Lastnightismerelyfurtherproofofthat.
Howdidthismanraiseme?Howisitthathisbloodrunsthroughmyveins?
“Ican’tbelieveyou.”Mywordsarelacedwithdisgust.MykneebouncesbeneathmydeskasItryandfailtokeepmy emotionsincheck
“What?Doyouhavesomethingyouwanttosay,son?”Hefinallyturnsbacktofaceme,alookofnonchalance effortlesslymaintainedonhisface.
“No,nothing.”Ibitemytongue. Shut up, Tucker.
Thiswillallbeforagreaterpurpose.Ihavetoremindmyself.
HeapproachesmydeskinhisneatlypressedsuitandItalianleatherloafers.Thecostofhiscufflinksalonecouldfeed anentireunderprivilegedvillageforayear Helooksdownatme,tappingthefinishedmahoganywoodwithhisstubby fingertiptwotimes.Thediamondringonhisleftfingerrepresentseverythingwrongwiththefaçadeofmonogamyinour culture Relationshipsarebuiltuponliesanddeception Humansareinnatelyselfish,whichmakesitimpossibletotrulytrust anyone.Period.
“That’swhatIthought.Packuphere.WeneedtomeetwiththeFireMarshalregardingthecauseofthe…accident.”He straightenshisjacketoverhisshouldersandheadstowardthedoorclearlyexpectingmetofollowwithoutfurtherprotest.
Thewayhesoeasilycallswhathe’sdoneanaccident crawlsbeneathmyskinlikeafuckingflesh-eatingdisease.
“Accident?That’swhatyou’recallingit?”Ipushbackfrommydeskandstand,glancingdownatmywatch.ThewellwornleatherbandisthecompleteoppositeofthegoldRolexadorningmyfather’swrist Furtherrepresentingjusthowvery differentweare.
Iwon’tbefollowinghimanywheretoday.IhavesomewhereelseIneedtobe.
“Yes,faultywiring.Ihaveafeelingthatiswhatthereportwillfind.Trulyunfortunate.”Hestopsatmydoorandpauses withhishandonthedoorknob
IfhesaysthewordunfortunateonemoretimeIsweartoGod Myhandsclenchintofistsatmyside
“Ican’t.”IexhaletheangerthatI’veallowedtobuildupinsideofmewithnowheretogo,andinsteadfocusonwhatI knowImustdonext.
“Excuseme?”Irritationanddisbeliefdripfromhiswords.Henarrowshiseyesashewatchesmecarefullyoverhis shoulder
“Isaid,Ican’t”Ireiterate,thistimewithmoreconvictionthanbefore
“IhaveameetingatnoonthatIcan’tmiss”I pickupmyleatherbagfrombesidethedeskandgrabmylaptop,shovingitinside.Iclaspthebrassbucklesandsituatethebag overmychest
Justafewmorehousekeepingitems,andI’llbeonmyway
“Fine Iexpectyouwillforwardacopyofthereportovertomyoffice FromwhatIhavebeenbriefedon,theentire ordeallastnightgotmessy.YouknowhowIfeelaboutmessy.”Heturnsthedoorknobandtakesonestepintothehallway beforecontinuing.
“Handleyourbusiness,butstayawayfromthatDaffodilgirl.She’strulyanembarrassment.MycampaignforSenate hasonlyjustbegun.Ican’thaveyoustoopingtothatlevelforapieceofass.”HeclosesthedoorandI’mleftstandinginhis
wakeofhatefulnessanddisfavor.
Potmeetkettle.Fuckingasshole.
“I’dhatetotarnishyourimage,Father,”Isaythewordstomyself,withmoreresolvethanevertoseethisthrough. I’mnotmuchofarulefollower.Whoknows?Thefire-breathingfloristjustmightbewhatI’vebeenmissing.
∞∞∞ DaisyMaeChandler.
Hernamealmostfeelstooprettyformytongue.Thesametonguethatsliddownherthroatlastnightwithoutpermission. Idon’tknowwhatcameoverme
Despitealloutwardappearances,I’mnotapresumptuousasshole Sure,IknowwhatIlike,andI’vebeenknownto takewhatIwant,butthiswasdifferent.ThiswasasuddeninfatuationthatIhadnocontrolover.Ineededtoshutherupand, forsomereason,myautomaticreflexwastousemymouthtodoso Ialmostdroveawaylastnight,contenttoallowDaisyto forgetmyname.
Instead,Itookagamble,andI’mhopingitwillpayoffinspades.Ineedthatlist,andshe’stheonlyonewhomightstill haveaccesstoit.Allright,andmaybeIwantjustalittlebitmoretimewiththesmack-talkingflorist.
I’veneverhadanyonereadyandwillingtogotojailforme It’sendearing Ipullupnexttothecurb,thistimeinbroaddaylight Itfeelslikeit’sbeenlongerthanjustafewhourssinceIwashere last,butthatcouldjustbemyinsomnia.Idon’tsleep.Ican’t.Therearetoomanywordsinmybrain.Ihavetogetthemoutor risklosingthemforever.So,Iwrite.
Poems.Articles.Novels.Shortstories.Thelistisendless.
Tuggingoffmyhelmet,IplaceitontheseatnexttotheoneIbroughtforDaisy Apparently,I’mturningintoa consideratebastard.Irunmyfingersthroughmydarkbrownhairandtrytomakethemesslookintentional.Aquickglancein theside-viewmirrortellsmethatmyattemptsattamingmylocksarefutile.
Iturnmyattentiontoherhouse,it’scute itfitsher.Contrarytowhatshebelieves,Ididn’tstalkherbeforelastnight. Sure,Ididmyresearch.Partofplayingthegameisknowingalloftheplayers.Shemightnotrealizeit,butbymanaging Hydrangea&Vine,she’sbecomeapawninmyfather’sgametoo.
Iwalkthecarefullymanicuredstonepathuptothefrontporchofherquaintbungalow.Thewoodsidingispainted whitewithcontrastingblackshutters Theonlypopofcolorontheexteriorofthehomeistherobin’seggbluefrontdoor That doesn’tmeanthatitlackshervibrantpersonality.No,thecolorcomesfromtheflowers;they’reeverywhere.Variouspotsline theporchandsteps Theyhangfromhooks,greeneryweavingitswayaroundthestainedwoodencolumns Intricate,wellthought-outflowerbedsbuttupagainstthefoundationofthehomeandcreateafloralmaparoundtheneatlycutgrass.
Checkingmywatchoncemore,Inotethetime.I’mearly,good.
Threestepsleadtoherfrontporch.Thewhite-paintedwoodcreaksbeneathmyfeetasItakeeachstep,announcingmy arrivalbeforeIhavethechanceto.Ican’thelpbutwonderwhichofDaisy’spersonalitiesI’llencountertoday.Thethought bothexcitesmeandmakesmenervous She’ssomuchmoreunexpectedthanIthoughtshewouldbe
Approachingthedoor,Iturnthenob,findingitunlocked Slowly,Ipushthedooropenandpeerinside Thefrontdoor opensdirectlyintothelivingspace.Theroomisdated,butinawaythatsayswhatwasonceinstylehasgoneoutandisnow backagain Thebrightcolorsandshagcarpetinghavecomefullcircleand,coupledwiththearrangementsoffreshflowers scatteredthroughout,makethespacefeelwarmandinviting.
ButIdon’thaveaninvitationtobehere.
Justpastthelivingspaceisthekitchenandbehindthatahallwaythatleadstothebackofthehouse.
“Goaway.You’retrespassing.”Theresheis.Outofsight,shecallsfromaroomdownthehallway.
Shewaswaitingforme.Ican’thelpbutsmiletomyself.Iadjustmybrownleatherlaptopbagacrossmytorsoandfully stepinside,closingthedoorbehindme
“It’skindofmyMO,let’sgo Ifwe’regoingtomakeourreservation,weneedtoleavenow”MysmilewidensasI
“Reservation?Ididnotagreetohavelunchwithyou,Tucker.Whatmakesyouthinkyoucanwaltzintomyhouse uninvitedanddemandweshareameal?Everheardofknocking?”Shestormsdownthehallwayinaflourishoflongblonde hairandcreamydenim,stoppingwhenshe’sjustafewfeetshyofwhereIstand
Herabilitytobothscowlandlookstunninglybeautifulatthesametimeisatalentinandofitself Angerand indignationbounceoffofherandricochetaroundusinabubbleofundeniablechemistry.Herattitudedoesnotphaseme.But thewayherhipsfilloutthedenimofherlight-washedjeans,andthewayshecanmakeasimplewhitev-neckt-shirtlook classy?ThosethingsIcan’thelpbutbephasedby.
Shepeersupatme,hernostrilsflaringwithannoyanceandatouchofragethatmakesheronlythatmuchmore appealing Mysmilebreaksfreeandstretchesmyface “Ourreservationisatthe‘FlourSack’”
Herscowldropseversoslightly Thepinchbetweenhereyesrelaxesmomentarily Shestaresatmeinconfusion She doesn’tknowwhattodowithme.Thatmakestwoofus.
“Comeagain,potentialkidnappingstrangerstandinginmylivingroom?”sheasks,herwordshurriedandyetcurious enoughthatshedoesn’tmovefromwithinmyvicinity
“Isaidreservation Ididn’tsaylunch”Ishrug
Sunlightstreamsintoherlivingroomthroughthefrontwindowpanes,illuminatinghergoldenhair It’ssoshiny Ihave astrangeurgetoreachupandtakeastrandbetweenmyfingertips.Iwanttoseeifit’sjustassoftasitlooks.Lastnightitwas filthyfromthefire.She’sshowered.Todayherhairislightandfluffy.Itfallsaroundhershouldersinwavesofhoney.It’s alluringandsexyandeverythingIshouldstayawayfrom.
“Yougotusareservationtohavecookies?Thatplaceisn’tevenopentothepublicyet.Theyjustdidtheirsoftopening lastweek.Iknow.Iwasthere.TheyranoutoftheextrathickcocoaexplosioncookiebeforeImadeittothefrontoftheline.” Igrin,smugwithmyvictory.Iknewshewasachocolatechipcookiegirl.
“Mmmm,andtheyhavecake Takeyourpick I’mmoreofacupcakeguy,honestly Iliketobreakitinhalfandmakea sandwich,squishingtheicinginbetweenthelayersofcake.”Ilickmylips,imaginingdeliciouscreamcheesefrostingona moist,redvelvetcupcake,myfavorite.
Heroutragedgaspcatchesmeoffguardandinterruptsmydeliciousdaydream.“You’reabarbarian!Everyoneknows youlicktheicingofffirstandtheneatthecake”
“Doyou?”Iask,drawingherprettyblueeyesuptomeetmine Idon’tknowwhyIinsistongoadingher,butit’sanitch Ijustcan’thelpbutscratch.It’seasy,andshemakesthepayoffworthiteverysingletime.
“DoIwhat?”
Gotcha.Sheunknowinglywalksdirectlyintomysetup.
Tiltingmychineversoslightly,Irakemyeyesoverherdelectablebody.Ishouldn’t.It’snotwhyI’mhere.ButIcan’t helpmyself LikeIsaid,I’mitchyasfuckforthiswoman She’scontagious
“Licktheicingbeforedevouringthecake”Myvoicedips,andIdon’tbotherhidingit,asIimaginehertonguesliding overcreamywhiteicing.
Shegrowls,andthesoundelicitsavisceralresponsefromsomewheredeepinsideofme.Ican’trememberthelast timeIencounteredawomanwhointriguedmeinthisway Idaresaytheansweris,never
“Areyoualwaysthisinfuriating?”Shechecksmewithhershoulderasshebrushespast,grabbingherkeysandpurse fromahooknearthefrontdoor.Someoneshouldreallytellherthat’snotasafeplacetokeephervaluables.
“Yes,”Ianswerdefinitively.“Areyoualwaysthisargumentative?”
Sheignoresme.Nosurprisethere.Iturnandleadthewaybackoutherfrontdoor.
“So,cookiesorcupcakes?”IaskasIstepoutontotheporch.
“I’mnotgettingonthatmotorcycle,Tucker.”Herwordssayonething,andyetIhearhersneakershittheslatsonthe frontporchbehindme
“Don’tforgettolockup.It’sdangeroustoleaveyourfrontdoorunlocked,Daisy.Anyonecouldwalkinonyouata moment’snotice.”
Chapter4 Daisy IpasspeopleIknowonthesidewalkandsmileandwavelikemyshopdidn’tburntothegroundjustoneblockfromherea meretwelveorsohoursago.Theyallknow.Therearenosecretsinasmalltown.
Iwalknexttoamanwhohasnobusinessoccupyingmytime
Astranger Acriminal An arsonist
Mysmiledips DoIlookguilty?Peoplemourningtheirlivelihooddon’tgooutforcookiesandcupcakeswithstrange mendrivingmotorcyclestheverynextday.Mypalmssweat.
MaybethisjustmeansI’veofficiallypassedthebrinkofinsanity.I’vecrossedtherainbowbridgeintoCookoolandium,successfullyarrivingnexttoahunkybadboy,strikethat–man,namedTucker.
Whatareyoudoing,Daisy?Iamnotguiltyofanything
Well,nothingexceptlivingfirmlyinthelandofdenialandeatingacookiethesizeofmyhead That Iamtotallyguilty of.
Ifirmlybelievethatchocolateistheanswertoworldpeace.
Theoutsideofthismouth-wateringconfectionarymasterpieceisbrownedtogoldenperfection.Theinsideisslightly underbaked,justthewayIlikeit It’sallthebestpartsofbatterwithouttheriskofdeathbysalmonellapoisoning Thechunky morselsofchocolatemeltintoooey-gooeyyumminessthemomenttheyhitthewarmthofmytongue.
Iallowmyeyestoflutterclosedandtipmyheadback,baskinginthemid-afternoonsunwhileIslowlychewanother biteofcookieandnearlymoanwhenthesugarygoodnessslidesdownmythroat.
ItrytoappreciateamomentofescapebeforeI’mforcedtofacereality.I’mnotready.Therearen’tenoughcookiesor margaritasinallofthegalaxytooffsetthedisasterthatmylifehasbecome
“Keepthatup,andI’llhavetofindaglassofmilktodunkyouin.”
Tuckerspeaks,andIcrackoneeyelidopentoglareathim.Ialmostforgothewashereannoyingme.Allsexyinhis jeansandbutton-downshirtwiththesleevesrolledup I’vehadtoactivelyignorehisarmpornforthelasthour It’sbeen torture.
“Don’tmakethisweird.Letmeenjoymycookieinpeace.”
Wewalkside-by-sidedownasidewalkIknowwell.Thisismyhome.Myfeetknowtheway,evenwithmyeyes closed.Iknoweverycrackbeneaththesolesofmysneakers.Igrewupracingdowntheseconcretesquaresonmyskateboard.I can’thelpbutsmiletomyself,rememberinghowmuchAuntFranhatedthatthing Ionlybrokemylegonce,anditkeptmeout ofherhairafterschooluntilIwasoldenoughtostartworkingpart-timeintheshop.
Theownersofthesebusinessesaremyfamily.Iknowtheirkidsandgrandchildren.Ikeeptheirbirthdaysmarkedonmy calendarattheshopsothatInevermissaspecialdeliveryoropportunitytomaketheirdayjustalittlebitbrighter
Noneofusareoutheregettingrich,althoughmoneywouldcertainlybehelpfulatthispointinmycareer It’snoteasy beingasmallbusinessowner.Nobody’sdoingthisforthemoney.Sure,we’remakingjustenoughtosurvive,butthat’sit. We’rebarelygettingby.
Owningasmallbusinesssomewherelikethisisaboutcommunityandfamily.Mostoftheseestablishmentshavebeen aroundfordecades.Theirownersarejustlikeme,they’veinheritedgenerationsofblood,sweatandtearsintheformofa brick-and-mortarbuilding.
Ourpatronscontinuetocomebackbecauseeverytimetheywalkthroughourdoors,wemakethemfeel something That feelingissomethingwecanofferthatthebigboxstoresdon’thave.It’sourhopes,dreamsandlegacyallwrappedintoone. It’sashareddream.It’sakinshipthatcan’tbeexplained.Andnow,I’velostthat.
TuckerwalkssilentlybesidemeasweturnthecornerontoMainStreet. My street.
Myfeetstopmoving.Myeyesremainclosed.
Thesmellhitsmefirst.
Thescentburnsmynostrils.It’sthickandheavyand,muchlikethefeelingsI’mtryingsohardtoavoid–it’s unavoidable.It’sastarkreminderthatIstillhaveacoughthatwon’tletupfromlastnight.ThecookiethatIwasenjoyingjust momentsagonowsitsheavyonmystomach Ihatethis Ihateeverythingaboutit
Istandforasecondlonger,waitingforwhat,Idon’tknow It’snowornever.
Islowlyopenmyeyes.Ittakesaminuteforthemtofullyadjusttothesunlight.Whentheyfinallydo,Iwishtheyhadn’t. Iwanttoclosemyeyesagainandrunaway.
Thebrightblueskyonlyfurtherhighlightsthedestructionlaidoutinfrontofme.It’sevenworsethanIthought. It’s gone
Iknewit Iknewitwasgone ThedetectiveIspokewiththismorningtoldmethatitwasatotalloss,butstandinghere, infrontofthepilesofrubble…well,it’sanotherlevelofgrief.Anotherpiecetoaddtomypuzzleofloss.
Westandonthesidewalk,Tuckerrightnexttome,oursilencestretchingfromMainStreetallthewaybacktothebig city.ForreasonsIcan’texplain,IfeelanoddsenseofcomforthavinghimstandnexttomeasItakeinmyrealityforthefirst timesincelastnight
Itakeadeepbreathinanattempttoeasetheachinginmyheart,butitonlymakesmecough.
Brightyellowtapemarkstheperimeterofwhatwasoncemysecondhome.ThereisnothingleftsoIhavetoassumethe tapeistheretokeepcuriousonlookersawayratherthantoprotectanythingofvalue.Everythingofvalueliesintheashthat stillsmokesandsmolders.
Tucker’sthumbbrushesmypinkyfinger,andmystomachflips.
Iswallow,andmythroathurts.Myeyesitch. I won’t cry.AuntFranwouldn’thavethat.
Biggirlpanties.That’swhatIneed.Ineedagiantpairofbiggirlpantieswithafishbowlmargarita.
“Yougood?”Tuckerfinallyasks,breakingthestillnesssurroundingus,eventhoughthethoughtsinsideofmyheadare anythingbutquiet.
Irunmyfingershaphazardlyovertheyellowtapeinfrontofus.Iwonderhowgoodmyinsuranceforthisplacewas.I neverreadallofthatmumbojumbo IjustkeptsigningthepapersthatwereemailedoverfromthecompanyAuntFranset everythingupwith.Iprobablyshouldhavelookedoveritatsomepoint,buthindsightistwenty-twenty,andI’vealwaysbeen moreaboutthepeoplethanthefinancesofthisventure
Imendbrokenhearts Ibringasplashofcolorwhensometimestheworldlookspitchblack Icreatesmileswhenhope seemslikeanimpossibility.
Taxes.Spreadsheets.Profitandlossstatements.They’rejustnotmyvibe.Morepowertothepeopleinchargeofthose things I’mjustgladit’snotme
Am I good? IreplayTucker’squestioninmymind I’malwaysgood I’maprofessionalatsmilinginthefaceof tragedy.Nobodywantstohireasadflorist.Beinggood ispartofmyjobdescription.It’singrainedintoeveryfiberofmy being But,amIgood?Idon’tknow Ifeelweird,andIstillhaven’tdecidedifit’sthegoodkindofweirdorthebadkind
So,Ivoiceanotherthoughtthat’sbeenrollingaroundinsideofmyheadinsteadofansweringhisquestion “Youthink we’llgetintotroubleforbeinghere?Thisisanopeninvestigation,right?”Icrossmyarmsovermychest,thesunnolonger providingthewarmthandcomfortthatitdidonourstrollhere.Iwasfoolingmyself.
“Won’tchangetheoutcome.”Tucker’smorbidanswergarnersmyfullattention.Whatdoeshemeanbythat?Andwhy doeshesoundsocertain?
Iturnsothatmybodyisfacinghis Iwanthimtolookatmewhenheadmitsthathe’sresponsibleforthis Ineedan explanation.
“Whydoyousaythat?Asifyoualreadyknow,andyetyouchoosetokeeptheanswertomyquestionasecret.It’s becauseitwasyou,wasn’tit?”
Iwaitforhim.Iwatch.Theveinsinhisarmsflex.Helooksupatthesky.Hecursesaloudtohimself.Then,heturnsto
“Doesitscareyoutothinkitmighthavebeenme?Thatyou’restandingherewithamanwhotriedtokillyou?”His wordsshovemeoffkilter.Iexpectedanoutrightdenial.Iexpectedhimtogivemetherunaroundagain.
Isthisanadmissionofguilt?Oristheanswerinthequestionitself? So,athisrequest,Itakeasecondtocatalogmyfeelingsbeforejumpingthegunandsayingsomethingsaltyinresponse. I’majumbledmessofbigfeelings I’msad,andIdon’tknowhowtoprocess sad I’mstillreelingfromtheshockofwhat happenedlastnight.I’mnervousaboutwhatmylifeisgoingtolooklikemovingforward.Iamalsoslightlyturnedonby Tucker’sforearms But,amIscaredofhim?
“Oddly,no.”Ianswerwithanhonestythatsurprisesevenme.
“Well,there’syouranswer.”Hesmilesarrogantly.
Oof.Thatgrin.Thatlevelofconfidence.Whatisitthatmakesmesoattractedtothisman?Amanthatbecauseofhis lastnamealone,IknowIshouldstayfarawayfrom.
“So,ifyoudidn’tdoit,whywereyouinmyshop,Tucker?Why,allofasudden,haveyouinterjectedyourselfintomy life?Whywon’tyougoaway?”
Hereyesaretired She’slosteverything,andit’snotmyfaultatall,butforsomereason,Ican’thelpbutfeellikeitkindof is.
WhydidhechoosetheverynightIwasplanningtobreakintotheflowershopforinformationtoburnittothe ground?
Howdidheknow?
WasheawarethatDaisywasintheshop?DidheknowIwasthere?I’mcertainofitbasedonourbriefconversation earlier.
IhavesomanyquestionsthatI’llprobablyneverhavedefinitiveanswersto.Imean,someonehadtolightthematch. Thatsomeonewasn’tHilton,that’sfordamnsure.Hemakessuretokeephishandscleanofthedirtywork.It’spartofthe reasonhe’srunningforaSenateseatandnotrottinginajailcell.
Iwanttopinthearsononhim IwantrestitutionforDaisy Shedoesn’trealizeityet,butshe’sgoingtoneedit The thoughtthatshedoesn’tevenrealizetheextentofwhat’sbeendonetoherburnsmygut.
But,untilIverifymyfactsandtrackdownthepersonI’vespentthepastyearofmylifelookingfor,we’rebothshitout ofluck.
Ican’ttellheranyofthat,becauseIcan’ttrusther.Sure,she’sadorablewithherabilitytolookelegantinonlyaworn pairofjeansandawhitet-shirt She’sobviouslyintelligent;herquickwitissexyasfuck ButIknowbetterthananyonehow quicklypeoplecanputonamaskforothers.It’sforthatveryreasonthatI’mnoteasilyconvincedormanipulated.Idon’tallow it
MyinstinctstellmethatDaisy’sprobablyasafebet,butI’mstillnotwillingtoshareanythingmorethanwhatis necessary.Becauseifshe’sallthethingsIthinksheis–ifshe’sloyalandtrustworthyandsexy…justknowingmeputsherin danger
That’sthecruxofwhyIhavetogettheinformationIneedandleaveherthehellalone “Itoldyou;youowemeafavor I’mheretocollectonit”
“Andthisverymomentisthemomentthatyouchoosetocollectsaidfavor?”Shetiltsherheadtothesideandslices openmysoulwithwide,accusingeyes. Ideserveeverycut.
Itiswildlyinsensitiveofmetoaskanythingmoreofherthanhertime,butIdon’thavemuchroomtocare.I’mtoo invested I’mlockedinnow,andthereisnootheroptionthantogetwhatIcameherefor “Daisy,doyouhaveacomputersystem?”Iask Ipushforwardinsteadofbackingdown Iliftmyhandtomyjawand rubthestubbleliningit.Ididn’tgetthechancetoshavebetweenlastnightandthismorning.
“You’reserious?”Itrackhereyesastheydartquicklyfromminetothesmolderingpileofrubble. There’s nothing left. Hydrangea&Vineassheknewit,isgone.
“Iamawarethatyouraunt,Francis,keptafilingcabinetwithpastordersrangingforyears.Deliveries.Addresses.Did youevertransferthatinformationfrompaper?Orwerethosetheonlyrecords?”
IwatchasshestacksmorewallsbetweenusthemomentImentionheraunt.IknowthingsIshouldn’t,andshe recognizesthat.Itmakesheruncomfortable,asitshould.Shedoesn’ttakeherpersonalsafetyseriouslyenough.
“Thatsoundsawholehellofalotlikenoneofyourbusiness”Theheated,playfulbanterfrombeforeisgone,andshe’s backtoherdefaultsettingofglacialfuckingiceberg.
“Look,Daisy.I’msearchingforsomeone.I’mclose.I'llknowforcertainifIcangetonefinalpieceofinformationto confirmmysuspicions.”
“So,youarecreepy?You’restalkingsomeone.”Sheaccuses,buthersuspicionsarewrong.
“I’mthorough.Ineedtobecertain,Daisy.Ineedtoconfirmanameanddatefromoveradecadeago.Thatisall.You can’tstalksomeonewhoisalreadydead.”
MyworkisonlyasgoodasthefactsIhavetobackitup.IamfullyawarethattheFBIhasbeenwatchingmyfamilyfor years EveryaccusationImake,everytruthIwriteoutonpaper,hastobeonehundredpercentfactual Ineedvalidresearchto supportmyclaims.
Iwatchherasshevisiblyswallows.
“I’mnotatlibertytodisclosethattypeofinformation.I’munderoath.”She’sadamant,butasfarasaflorist-client privilege,I’veneverheardofsuch
Liar, liar pants on fire.
Herlongeyelashesflutterassheavertshereyestomeandthenbacktotherubble,thenbackagain.
“Oath?Whattypeofoathareyouunderasaflorist?That’snonsense.”
“Iseethings,Tucker.Iknowthings.”Shedrawlsoutthelastsentencetodrivehomeherpointbeforecontinuing.“I knowthatChuckThomleyisgettingreadytoproposetohisgirlfriendnextweek,andhewon’thaveadozenlong-stemmed roseswhenhegoestodoso IknowthatCoachFulforddownatthehighschoolhasboughtonetoomanyarrangementsinthe lastsixmonths…NurseMandy,theschoolnurse,mightmissherweeklybouquetonTuesday.Iknowthenameofeverybaby bornwithinathirty-mileradius,andI’vereadmoreobituariesthanIcaretoremember Thesearen’tthingsIshare They’renot meantforpublicviewing.Thesearepeople’spersonallives,andItakethatknowledgeseriously.Ifyou’relookingforthetown gossip,gogetahaircut.”
“Fairpoint.However,youjustspilledthehypotheticalbeansonatleastfivedifferentpeopleinthissmalltown.There are,what?Afewthousandpeoplewholivewithinthesecitylimits?Yourbattingaverageisn’tgreatonthiswholeoath-offloral-secrecything.AndI’mnotaskingaboutNurseMandy,althoughmaybeIshould.Betshe’snotasmeanasyouare.Ineed onesinglename,Daisy Onedate Then,I’llbeoutofyourhairforgood”
Herlipsturndownandherforeheadcreasesforonlyasecond,andthensherecovers I’mnotsurewhatthat’sabout, andIdon’thavemuchtimetodwellonitbeforeshejumpstothenextsubject.She’safuckingpingpongballtoday.
“Ihatecomputers.”Shepinchesthebridgeofhercutelittlebuttonnose. Computers. Somethinginhervoicetellsmethatshe’swavering.Ihearit.Icanfeelit.
“What?Clarifyfortheaudience.”Iask,needingfurtherexplanation.Thereisnowaythiswomanwasoperatinga businesswithouttheuseofacomputer Absolutelynofuckingway
“ExcelspreadsheetsarethespawnoftheDevil”Herlipstwistintoalookofutterrepulsion
Myheartsinkstomyfeet,automaticallyassumingtheworst Anotherroadblock
“Don’tsayit,Daisy It’snotpossible”Ishakemyheadbackandforth,notwillingtoaccepttheideathatshetrulyonly keptpaperfiles.Filesthatarenowpilesofashbehindus.
Shesighs,“MysenioryearofhighschoolImissedcurfewbyfifteenminutes.Itwasn’tevenmyfault!Therewasacow inthemiddleoftheroadblockingbothlanesoftraffic Only,therewasn’tanytraffic ItwasjustmeandBessyandalong stretchofhighway.Itwasdark.IhadtoexitmyvehicleandcoaxBessyoutoftheroad.Bessywasanorneryoldheifer,and shewasdeterminedtomakemelate”Shehuffsandswatsatapieceofhairthatfallsinherface
“Iwilltakethatstorytomygrave AuntFrandidn’tmuchcare ShesaidifIhadn’tcutitsoclose,Iwouldhavestill madeithomeontime.Shecouldn’tgroundmelikeanyothernormalteenager,though.No.Icouldn’tbethatlucky.Instead,I spentthelastsemesterofmysenioryearinputtingeverysinglepaperfiletheshopeverhadintoExcelspreadsheets The punishmentwasillegal.Itwasanobviousabuseofpower,andhonestlyoneofthemosthorrifyingexperiencesofmylife.”
“ThankGodforBessy.”IreleasethebreathIwasholdinginamomentofpureunfilteredrelief.
She’sgotthefiles.Shehastohavethem.Thiswomanholdsthekeythatwillunlockthemystery,confirmingmy suspicionsandputtingmeonestepclosertoendingthisbeforeit’stoolate.
“Typicalman.”Shethrowsherhandsup.“Didyouhearnothing?”Sheexclaims,breakingmymentalcelebrationand bringingmerightbacktothepresentwithaheavythud.Theexasperationinhervoiceisevident.Ineedtogettothepoint quicklyorrisklosingherinterestaltogether.
“Canyouaccessthosefiles,Daisy?”Iusemymanners.Iasknicely.Itriedtakingwithoutaskingfirst,andthatroute
didn’tendwellforeitherofus.I’mhopingkarmawillappreciatemytactthistimearoundandrewardmewithaccesstothe informationthatIneedinreturn.
“CanI,orwillI?Thosearetwoverydifferentquestions,Tucker.” Itakebackthemanners.Itakebackmyattemptatbeingagentleman.Iputthewholedamnthinginreverse. She’safuckingmenace.
“ShouldIremindyouagainthatIsavedyourlife?”
Shescoffs “What?AndnowI’mstuckwithyou?No,thanks I’masurvivor,alwayshavebeen Iwouldhavefounda way.”She’scompletelydismissive.
“Thisismeaskingpolitely,Daisy,”Ispeakthroughgrittedteeth.
“Andthisisme,tellingyouthatIdon’tgiveaflyinghorse'sbutt.Noamountofeducationoretiquetteisgoingtochange that”Crossingherarmsoverherchest,shechallengesme Imightbeaggravatedbyherinabilitytocooperate,butIcan’thelp thewaymylipstiltupatherverycolorful choiceofwords.
Myeyesroamherface.Istudythewayhernosepointsmoretotheskythananywhereelsewhenshe’sirritatedwith me.Herinabilitytoputmeinmyplaceiseatingheralive.Iwatchthewayhercheekshollowasshetriestokeepthisactup withoutsomuchasahintofasmile It’sharderthanshe’deveradmit
Herblondehairfallsinsoftgoldenwavesagainstthewhitecottonmaterialofhert-shirt Ifollowtheplungingneckline ofthatt-shirtagainstherporcelainskin.Iunashamedlylookatthewayherarms,crisscrossedoverherribs,pushherample breastsupintotheopenV,puttingthemondisplay
“Isee.”Ilickmylipsbeforeslowlydrawingmyeyesbackuptomeethers.“So,thisflyinghorse…doeshehavea name?DoeshebychanceknowBessythecow?”
Shedropsherhandsballedintofistsathersideandgrowlsatme.Justlikeshegrowledlastnight.Agrowlthatisso ferociouslycutethat,Iknow,offinthedistance,forestcreaturesrunandhidefromfearofherwrath Itstartslowinherbelly andcrawlsupherdiaphragmuntilfinallyescapingsimultaneouslyfromhermouthandnose.
Notetoself:Daisyresortstogrowlinginmomentsofintensefrustration. I like it.
“I’mnotcrazy,youknow.Imightbedifferentfromthewomenyouusuallydeal with.I’msuretheyfallatyourfeetwith onelookatthatadorablesmuggrin I’mnotmostwomen,Tucker Itwillbehooveyouinthefuturetorememberthat”IswearI canseethesteambillowingfromherears.
She’ssoangrywithme,butIcan’tthinkofanythingexceptthewaymyheartthundersinmychestbecausemybrain stoppedworkingthesecondshebegantellingmehowadorableIam.
“Youthinkmygrinisadorable,DaisyMae?”Ihesitantlytakeastepclosertoherandriskfindingoutifherbiteistruly worsethanherbark
“Seriously?We’redonehere Thanksforthecookie”Sheturnsaway,tossingherlonghairoverhershoulder,and flashingaquickgrinthatsayssheisn’tdoneatall.
Hereyesgleammischievously,andthatdamnsmile,it’ssofakeit’salmostcutehowconfidentsheisthatshe’sgetting awaysoeasily.Againstmybetterjudgment,Ireachforwardandwrapmyfingersaroundherwrist.Iyankhertomeuntilour bodiescrashtogether.Hertoestouchmytoes.Herhipstouchmyhips.
Idon’ttaketimetothinkabouttherepercussionsofwhat’shappeningbetweenus.Idon’thaveto;shewon’tletme.Her witisquick,butherlipsarequicker
AnythingIwaspreparedtosaytoherdiesinaninstant Myworldspinsand,inamatterofseconds,I’msodizzyI don’tknowiftheskyisup.Shepopsuponthetipsofhertoesandweavesherdeceivinglydelicatehandaroundthebaseofmy neck Herfingerstwistinmyhairassheyanksmedowntoherlevel,foregoingallgraceandelegance Notthatshe’sever claimedtobeeither.
Herlipsslantovermineand,havingtheself-controlofathirteen-year-oldboy,Igroanloudlyintohermouth. Instinctivelymyhandwrapsaroundherhip.ItouchandIfeel.Ihookafingerthroughthebeltlooponherjeansandpullher closer.Herlipsburnhotterthanthesmolderingashbehindus.Hertonguelashesoutagainstmylips,andIsuckitintomy mouth,muchthesamewaythatIdidlastnight.
Onlythistimeit’sherdemandingentrance;lastnightwhenitwasmeunabletoresisther.She’ssomuchbetteratthis
