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ARIANA ST. CLAIRE For the survivors who are stronger than anyone knows. And the moments you see yourself again when someone believes in you
Always and forever
CONTENTS Prologue
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Epilogue
TouchMeDown
Acknowledgments
AlsobyArianaSt Claire
AbouttheAuthor
"Idon'tcarehowyoudoit,butweneedthis Ineedthis" EverydamnthingI'dworkedtowards,gonewithonestupidmomentofweakness.AndnothingIcoulddowould changeit.
"Serenawilllandonherfeet,butyouwon'tifthisgetsout AndIdon'twantitto,butIcan'tdothisalone Andsheneedsto understandthatthis,”Justinecockedhertotheside,“mattersmorethananything.” Fuckinghell
“But,Sebastian,youdidn’tsoundsoworriedlastnight?” Ilookedaroundtheconferenceroom,atthefuckingdoor,wishingIcouldjustwalkrightthroughandmakethisallgoaway ButtherewasonlyonethingIcoulddo.AndifIhadtobethebadguy,thensobeit.
"Shittiestgameyou'veeverplayed,Lockwood Andquitehonestly,mainofficeisn'texactlysingingyourpraises"
Coachneverblewsmokebutfuck,hewasright.Andafternineyearsinthegame,myarmwasn'tlikeitusedtobe.
PlayingforClevelandthepastfourseasonshadbeenlikebeinginvitedtodinneratyourhighschoolprincipal'shouse. Atfirst,everyonelikesyou,untiltheyrealizeyoumightbethetroublemakercausingalltheproblemsatschool
"Thefactofthematteris,Ican'thaveaquarterbackleadingmyteamwhonoonewantstofuckingfollow,"heeyedme."Or onewhosleepswithhisplayers'wivesorgirlfriends"
Fuck."Notmyfaultshenevertoldmehername,"Iheldupmyhands,"andSilva'swifeshowedupatmyplaceinnothing morethanatrenchcoatinthepouringrain"Icalledheradamncab,butSilvashowedup,afterthebitchtextedhim,andlaid meoutflatbeforeIcouldexplain.Didn'thelpmattersshe'dslidintomyDMs,andlikeanidiot,I'dplayedalongnotrealizing whoshewasatfirst.WhenItriedtobreakitoff,trenchcoatgate.
Of course the rest of my line didn't believe my side of the story, and if your line doesn't protect you, you can't score
Which means you can't win. And that translates to this fucking meeting.
Hesighed,andsatbackintohischair "Lockwood,I'mgoingtolayitout Iknowyouragentdroppedyou,HRdoesn'twant totouchthisfuckingthingwithadamntenfootpole,andifyouwereplayingatthetopofyourgame,Iwoulddomydamnedest tofightforyou But,you'renot"
AllanBrandtinformed me via textthathe and his agencywould no longer be representingme or myinterests after this weekend.
Basically, you're fucked, Bas
"Theheadofficeisactivatingthemoralsclauseinyourcontract,effectiveimmediately.Andputtingyouonwaivers."
Myheadshotup ExplainedwhyTaft,theteamlegalheadforCleveland,enteredtheroomjustafterCoachcalledmeina fewminutesbefore.Andwhythetensionintheairwassothick,youcouldcutitwithaknife. "Noshit."
Taftclearedhisthroat,butCoachwavedhimoff.
"Giveustheroom,"hesaidwithashooingmotion.Taftlookedputoff,butnoonearguedwithCoachiftheyknewbetter. AsTaftmadehisreluctantexit,Coachsethisglassesonthedeskandletoutabreathasheleanedbackinhischair Heshota lookatthedoorasitshutwithathud.“Lawyersdon’tgetthenuancesofthegame.Orhowchemistryandluckplayintothings.” Fuckme Ihungmyhead,notwantingtomeethiseyes Myattitudewasshit,andIknewit Heknew Hell,theteamknewit EspeciallyTy,theoneguyontheteamwhomadeanattempttostopmyshittyattitude. Heeyedmeafewtimesduringpractice,shakinghishead,nodoubtatmywastedtalent. Noonewantedtoprotectaguywhoactedlikeaworldclassdick. Andthensomethingchanged.
The onlyguywho stayed onfor extra practice time withme Of course, no one onthe teamexcept himknew I stayed, besidestwoofthetrainerswholeftthedoorunlockedtothepracticefieldtwiceaweekformeafterhours.
ThefirsttimeTywalkedinonmetograbhisluckywaterbottle,helookeddumbstruckthatIwasstillthere,runningsnaps andthrowingballs.Coveredinsweatafterathreeandhalfhourpractice,andatwohourworkoutontopofanhourrunonthe treadmill.
Typicaldayforme,thoughIneverletonthatIputintheextratime
Theintensephysicalityofitallkeptthedemonsatbay.ChasedawaytheregretsIhad.Didn’thelpmyattitude,butatleast bythetimeIgothome,Iwastooexhaustedtothink,letalonedream OrifIdid,Ididn’tremembershit
After thatfirsttime, Ty‘left’withthe restofthe squad, butcame backfifteenminutes later. Eachtime, we’d runa few
plays,simpleruns.Neitherofussaidaword.Justtwoguysrunningtheball.TycaughtwhatIthrewhisway,sometimesalittle outofhiswaytotestourchemistryasthedayswenton.Alittleplayaction,andthenwehitafewmomentswithouthavingto sayaword
Fuckingchemistryonthepracticefieldthatdidn’ttranslateanywhereelse.AndthenI’dgetonmybikeorinmytruckand leave ToobadtherestoftheguysthoughtIwasanasshole.
Iletthem IknewIhadashittyattitudealongwiththewallsIbuiltup
Iwasn’ttheprinceinafuckingfairytale.PeoplethoughtIwasthevillain.Thefansherewerediehard,buteventheywere tiredofmyattitude.
IwentfrombeingthemostlovedQBafewyearsago,tothemosthated
“Lockwood,thesimplefactisthatmostoftheorganizationthinksyourcareerisover.Andthewayyou’vebeenhandling yourself this year hasn’t helped your case But, I know more about you than you think” He stood and walked over to the windowthatoverlookedtheparkinglot.
Empty,savefor afew cars,sincemostoftheteamhadleftfor theday IncludingTaft’s fancyfuckingJag AndmyAudi, becauseIdidn’tusemybikewhenitrained.Fuckingweathershould’vecluedmeinthattodaywasgoingtobeashitshow.
“Iknowyoudoextrapracticeaftereveryoneleavestwoorthreetimesaweek,andthinknooneknows.Trainlikeamad man Youmightnotgetalongwiththeentireteamrightnow,butI’veheardaboutthehospitalvisits,Lockwood”Handsinhis pockets,heturnedtofaceme,eyesshrewdandseeingfarfuckingmorethanIwascomfortablewith.“AndTyhadalottosay whenIpulledhiminafewdaysago”
Fucking Ty.Igroundmyteethtogether,jawclenchedandfiststight.ButIkeptmymouthshut.
“Whenhecametomyofficetheotherday,Ihavetoadmit,Ithoughtitwasgoingtobeaboutyourattitude.Youtwohave hadafewmomentsonthefield,butwithouttherestofyourteambackingyouup,itmeansshit,Lockwood.”
NothingIhadn’ttoldmyselfamilliontimesbefore.ButIcouldn’tbringmyselftocare.Evenwhenthedamnfansbeganto boowheneverItookthefield Itjustmadetheangerandindifferencestrongerbeneathitall
“ThenSimmonsactuallypleadedyourdamncase,eventhoughtherestofthelineseemedtomissoutonwhateverhesaw.I noticedthetwoofyouconnectingonalevelonthefield,andwhenhetoldmehehadbeenstayingafewnightsaweektorun plays? Iknew myinstincts weren’tfar off. Now, Idon’tknow whatthe hell your issues are, butIalso know Iwouldn’tbe whereIamifsomeonehadn’tofferedmeapathtomakeupfortheshitIdidwhenIwasyoungandstupid.”
Ibristledatthecomment,butdeepdown,Irecognizedwhathewassaying.Toapoint.“Doesn’tmatterifI’mgettingcut, doesit?”
“Lockwood,betweenTy’sbromance,nomatterhowstrainedyourrelationshipis,andmyinstincts,you’renotdeadinthe water.”Hesighed.“But,you’renotstayinginCleveland,evenwithonegameleftintheseason.I’vecalledinafew favors. I’mnotsureit’llcometoanything Butfornow,you’reonwaivers AndSimmonstalkedhisagentintoreppingyouifanyone calls.”
Shit.IknewwhoTy’sagentwasbecausehevisitedhimafewtimesongameday,andshotmealookthatmadetheother guysinthelockerroombackaway KellanHorne.FromFortress. Well,fuckme Talkaboutfullcircle Iwassoscrewed.
CHAPTER 2 MADDIE Five and a half months later
“IdoNOTneedtogetlaid,Jessa!”
Thecackleincreasedinvolume,andJessa,my‘boss’andfriendsaidinagleefultone,“That responsemeansyou do,Mads”Shesoftenedhertone,buthereyesstilldancedwithmischief “It’sbeenalmostayear,andnotapeepfromsleaze ball.”
Iletouta sigh, and ranmyfingers alongthe couchthatsatinthe middle ofMagpie Dreams “Because Reid’s knightin shiningarmorthreatenedtoputhimthroughawallifheevenhadthoughtsofme,”Imumbled.Butshewasright.“Andit’sbeen ninemonths”
NinemonthssincemysleazeballextriedtoputmethroughthewindowhereatMagpie,andthrewmyboss,Reid,intothe nowlonggoneglasscoffeetablebeforeherdark,brooding,andsexyMarineVetcametoourrescue.
IstillswoonedoverthememoryofOwensweepinginanddeckingAJ AnytimehestoppedbytopickupReidorbringher coffeeandaDeathByChocolatemuffin,Icouldbarelymakeeyecontactwithhim.Hedidn’tpostanyofhisreadingsanymore onsocialmedia ButsometimesReidwouldplaytheoneshesavedfromthefirsttimesheeverheardhisvoice
Luckygirl.AndOwenwasevenluckier.ReidhadthebiggestheartofanyoneI’devermet.Shedeservedtobelovedand takencareofbysomeonewhowasn’tasleazeball
Jessa threw her hands inthe air. “Youare so luckyReid is off, playinghide the eggplantwithOwensomewhere inthe mountainsfortheweek,”shegrumbledasshestraightenedafewofthedressesdrapedondelicatehangersmountedonthenew antiquehooksthatJessaandIjustinstalled Withasatisfiednod,shespuntofaceme,fingerwagging “Whenshegetsback,we aregoingout.WithKylie,andAlex,andGia.”
Igroaned Notbecause Ididn’tlove Reid’s older sister and silentpartner inthe vintage couture boutique I’d worked at sinceitopened.AlexandherbestfriendGiawereamazing,too.
Almosttooamazing.
Kylieownedanopenwheelraceteamwithherhusband,whichwashowsheknewAlexAndersandGia.Alex’sdadwasa racinglegend.
Nexttothem,IfeltlikeIhadn’taccomplishedanything
Untilafew weeksago,whenReidaskedifIwouldhelpherandKyliewiththeannualfundraiserforKylie’sfoundation. Domesticviolence,unfortunately,wassomethingIbecamefartoofamiliarwithinthelastfewyears
Thebadboymusicianwhonoticedmeonenightwhenhisbandplayedataclubjustoutsidethesmall-ishtownIlivedand workedin.
Ishould’velistenedtoJessawhenshesaidhewasbadnews,buttherushthatmademybodytingleatbeingthe girlthehot, tattedupleadsingerofarockbandnoticedoutweighedmycommonsense.
ButIdidn’t Andslowly,hestrippedmeofthefriends thatIusedtogooutwith,theindependence Iworkedsohardfor whenImovedacrossthecountrytothetownIfellinlovewithwhenIappliedfortheinternshipatthelocalfootballteam.
TheonehemademequitbecauseitmeantIcouldspendmoretimewatchinghimpractice,orfawnoverhimatshowsat localclubsoronesafewhoursaway.
MagpieDreamshadbeenmyonceaweekhaven,andeventhen,hetriedtomakemequituntilIbeggedReidtoletmework aroundhisschedule Iwassuchafool.
OnemorningIwokeupandnolongerrecognizedthepersonIsawinthemirror
Whereoncewasagirlwhodecidedtomoveacrossthecountry,awayfromfamilyandtheonlyfriendsIknew,andchasea
dream,ahollow-eyedstrangerstaredbackatme.
ThatwasthenightthatAJhadwhathesaidwasthemostimportantshowofhislife,becausetherewasascoutsupposedly comingtoseetheband
Littledidheknow,theyweren’tthereforhim.Butthat’sanotherstory.Andinfact,afterthatnight,Iplannedonneverbeing thereforhimagain
Thesubtle,thennotsosubtlehintsthatIwasfat,thatnoonewouldwantagirllikeme,andtheangryoutburstswhereI’d cowerinthebathroomwhilehebrokesomethingelsebythrowingitatthelockeddoorseparatingushadfinallyknockedsense intome.
Thatday,terrifiedofhowhewouldreactwhenItoldhimIwasleavinghim,IwenttoworkatMagpiewiththetwowomen whohadbecomeasourceofstrengthformeagain,eveniftheydidn’tknowit
Untilheshowedupaswewereclosingupforthenight,inamurderousragebecausehesaidIwasrunninglate.
ThankGodOwenhadgoneallstalkeryonReid
Ifhehadn’tshownupwhenhedid…
Ishuddered Jesseyedme “Youok?”
Inodded,andsmiled.“Ireallyam.But,Idon’tneedtogetlaid.”
“Hmph,”shescoffed “We all needtogetlaid Ijustadmititoutloudmoreoftenthanthenextperson” “Andthenext,”Iteasedinadrytone.
Sheflickedher hair over her shoulder andshrugged Handsonher hips,sheglancedaroundandnodded “Iloveit Reid willloveit.”
“Ialreadysentherapicture,”Ilaughed,imaginingReideyeingherphonethelastfewdaysandyet,Iknewsheneededthe getaway.
Jessasnickeredandwaggedhereyebrows.“Hopefullyshe’stoooccupiedgettingtiedup,spanked,andrailedtonotice!”
“OhmyGod, stop!” Iflushed butlaughed, because whenever Owenwas around Reid, itwas like he was alreadydoing dirtythingstoherinhismind.Andshelookedjustasguilty.
Orlucky
Alowrumblestartledme.Outsideonthestreet,avintagelookingmotorcyclepulledtoastopinfrontofthefrontpicture window.Thedriver’sfaceobscuredbyablackhelmet.Hepaused,andsatback,flickingupthevisor.
Piercingeyes, the color ofthe leaves onthe trees up inthe hills where Iliked to hike whenspringarrived stared back. Lockedmeinplace.Secondstickedby,andJessadronedonbehindmeaboutReid’ssexlifeinherusual,filterlessway,butI didn’thearawordshesaid
AllIsawwerehiseyes.Handsrestingonhisthighs,clenchedintofists,slowlyreleased.
Fingers snapped infrontofmyeyes, blockinghimmomentarily Ibatted her hand away, butwhenIlooked atwhere the motorcyclehadbeenmomentsbefore,hewasgone.
“EarthtoMaddie!Happyhour?Tapas?”
“Didyousee-”Istopped,becausesuddenly,Iwantedtokeephimtomyself Anyway,Jessawouldprobablymakeither missionifIsaidanythingtofindtheguysoIcould‘get laid’.
“See what?” she asked, grabbingher purse and car keys “Come on, mytreat, because itlooks like I’mnotgettinglaid either.”
Ilaughedlightly,mymindstillontheeyesthatremindedmeofthepromisesyettobekept “Youseriouslythinkaboutsex waytoomuch.”
“Ifyouonlyknew,”shemuttered,usheringmeoutthedoor.
SEBASTIAN Karmaisabitch
Don’tgetmewrong,Isaw itcomingfromafuckingmileawaywhenIwalkedintotheBrowns’headofficemy lastdayontheteam.
But,fuck,IneversawthetwistoffateIwasgettingscrewedwithuntilithitmelikeafuckingtruck Roadkill.
WhenmyphonerangasIsatonthecouchweeksafterthatfatefulmeeting,Ialmostdidn’tanswer Asitwas,KellanHorne calledtwicebeforeIpickedup,andonlyafterTytextedme.
Ty:Asshole Don’tthrowitawaybecauseyousuck Answerthefuckingphone Damnkidwastenyearsyoungerthanme,comingintotheprimeofhisplayingcareer,andtellingmewhatthefucktodo. “Lockwood?”
Thevoiceontheothersidegrowled,anditwasprettydamnclearKellanHornewantedtobetalkingtoanyonebutme “Horne?”Ireturneddryly.
“ShutthefuckupwhileItrytosaveyourcareer AndifyoumessthisupforSimmons,I’ll makeitmymissiontoensure everydayoftherestofyourmiserablelifesuckssomuchthatevenafuckingTaylorSwiftconcertwon’tcheeryourassup,you understand?”
What the hell was the guy talking about?
Igruntedaresponse,andwithoutmissingabeat,HornecontinuedasifIhadneverutteredasound.
“Carolinasentoveracontract,andasidefromafewminordetails,Isuggestyousignitifyoueverwantyourhandsona ballagain,otherthanintheparkplayingcatchwithyourself.Checkyouremail.Changeswereagreedupontenminutesago.” Andsilence Ipulledthephoneawaywithaglare Assholehunguponme.ButIsignedthedottedline. MaybeIwasagluttonforpunishment. Thatwasjustoverthreemonthsago. AndhereIwas.
Lightningcracked inthe skybutall Ipictured was her face Pouty, full lips parted ona sigh Eyes brightwitha hintof sadness and steely determination I recognized all too well. Innocent but tinged with the things that told me she had lived throughsomethingthatalmosttookherout
Ileanedbackandflippedupthevisoronmyhelmet,feetrestingonthepavement.Bikerumblingbeneathme.
TheneedtoknowhowshelookedwhenImadehercumshotthroughmebeforeIcouldevenformacoherentthought. Fuck.Thelightchanged,andIshookmyheadtoclearitbeforedrivinginthedirectionoftheplacetheCarolinaFury,my newteamandmostlikelymylast,arrangedformeuntilIfoundamorepermanentresidence.Butthelookonherfaceburned itselfintomymemory
TherainfellatanannoyinglysteadypaceasInearedthetownhouse,whichthankfullyhadagarageIcouldparkmybikein thatwasmorethesizeofatoolshed,butatleastitwasoutoftheelements Thetrucktheteamarrangedtopickupmyboxes andfurniturearrivedthismorning,andafterstoppingatmynewteam’strainingfacility,Iwasreadytodosomethingotherthan sitonmyass.
TheheadlinesinClevelandafter thenewsbrokeaboutmystatuswiththeteamweremorethanenoughfor metowantto flipthebird,butthefansinthattownwerediehard,tosaytheleast.Andtheylikedmeatonepoint,untiltheyrealizedIwasn’t goingtobetheonetoturnthecity’sluckaround
ThenitwaslikeIkickedafuckingpuppy.
Buttheteamhadbeenboughtbyanew owner,andhe,alongwiththeother investors,weredeterminedtorestructurethe entireorganization,fromthebottomup.
HowIfitintothatequation,Istilldidn’tget KeyinthelockofthefrontdoortomynewplaceasIglaredatthefrontdoor, IbitbackagroanwhenIheardavoicefrombehindme.
“Hey,asshole”
Withoutmissingabeat,Iturnedthekeyandwalkedintothefoyer,Tytightonmyheels.“Missme,sweetheart?”
“Youareafuckingpieceofwork,Lockwood”
“Tell me something I didn’t know,” I muttered, tossing my keys onto the counter in the kitchen and ignoring Ty as he whistledlow.“Thengetthefuckout.”
“AftereverythingI’vedoneforyou?Youcouldatleastoffermeadrinkbeforescrewingmeover”Withoutwaitingforan answer,hewalkedovertothecouchinthemiddleoftheroomandsatdown,elbowsonhisknees.
Iwenttothefridgeandgrabbedoutawaterbottle Thatandfiveready-mademealspackedincontainersIhaddelivered earlierthismorningweretheonlythingsinthere,butfornow,itwasallIneeded.AndwhoknewhowlongI’dbehere. Lesstocleanoutlater IgrabbedanotherbottleandtossedittoTy,whocaughtiteasily “Makeyourselfathome,Simmons,”Imuttered.
Silencepermeatedtheairuntilheclearedhisthroat.“Maybetrynottobesuchadickwiththeguys.” Iscoffed “Andchange?IthoughtyoulovedmejustthewayIam?” “Fuck,Lockwood.Iknowyou’renotatotalasshole.”
“Really?Ithoughtthatwasyourfavoritenicknameforme?” Heflippedmethebirdbeforedowningtheentirebottle. “See?”
“You’dbeconfusedifIdidn’tgiveyoushit,QB,”heretorted. Hewasright.Evenwhenwe’dpracticeinsilence,wefellintoarhythmandonlythrew afew colorfulyetwellintended insults “Whyareyoustalkingme?Can’tfindanyoneyourownagetobother?Orareyoujustlonely?” “Listen,oldman,theonlylonelyguyhereisyou.Itookpityonyou.”
“Fucker,”Imutteredundermybreath Tywastenyearsyoungerthanme,butIcouldstillkeepupwithhim Everypractice, wepushedeachotherevenifnoonewastheretoseeitinCleveland.
But,thefewtimesitshoweduponthefield…fuckingmagic.
AsmuchasIhatedtoadmitit,weworkedwelltogether.WhichmightexplainhowIgotpickedupbyCarolina.Question was,forhowlong?
“There’saplacenottoofarfromherethathasthebestfuckingtacosI’vehad,anditjustsohappensIhavenothingto do exceptmakesureyoursorryassisn’taloneonyourfirstnightintown.”
Istartedtoshakemyhead,butTyheldhishandup
“You’regoing.BecauseweneedaSebastian’s-not-a-total-dickheadgameplan.”Histonesoftenedjustenoughasheadded, “Brother,Iknowshithasn’tbeeneasy.Butthis,”hepointedbetweenus,“itcouldbesomething.”
Isnorted
“Onthefuckingfield.Nowdon’tgofallinginlovewithme,”hedrawled,standingandstretching.“Let’sgo.Andnoflirting withme,understood?Ihaveareputationtouphold”
“Asshole,”ImutteredasIfollowedhimoutthedoor.
Tywinked “Iloveyou,too,brother”
MADDIE “There’s no suchthingas too big, Mads,” Jessa half-yelled over the noise inthe bar as I giggled as a result of the incrediblystrongmargaritasthebartendersatdowntwentyorsominutesagowithagrinatmyincrediblyflirtatious andkindagorgeousfriend.Sweepingherstraightasapinhairoverhershoulder,sheglancedbackathimwithawink andraisedherglass
“Whenitcomestotacos,theremightbe!”Ikindayelledoverthemusicplayingandpeoplechattingwitheachother. The PricklyPear had become our favorite place to grab a bite after workwhenitopened sixmonths ago, and the vibe inside the bar/Mexicanrestaurantwas usuallylow key,butthe small townwe livedandworkedinwas buzzingwithall the newsaboutthenewownersoftheCarolinaFury,andhowthenewownerswerebasicallystartingfromthebottomup,bringing inallnewpersonnel.
Football fans wereaboisterous lot,anditdidn’thelpthattheTVover thebar was playinganinterview withoneofthe newowners,ResnickGentry
Morethanafewfemaleeyesweregluedtothescreen.Themanwasadark,smolderingfantasyofaman.Andmorethana fewofthemenintheroomweregluedtoeverythinghewassaying,andeveryonewasvoicingtheirownopinions “Ugh,it’ssoloud.”
Jessalaughed “WhichisprobablywhyFrankiemadeourdrinksextraspecialtonight” Iglancedathercleavage,visibleandouttherefortheworldtosee.“Orhelikedtheview.”
“Ifonlythe view didmore thangetme a strongmargarita,” she muttered,thengrinned.“Maybe he thinks we’re goingto haveathreesome!WhichisridiculousbecauseevenIhavestandards”
Handonmychest,Ifeignedindignation.“AndI’mnotenoughfor youtohaveathreesomewithabartender after atriple shotmargarita Jessa,Ithoughtwewerefriends!”
Shecackled.“Ifpretendingtohaveathreesomethenghostingyouwithahotdudewouldgetyoulaid,I’dtakeoneforafew minutes. But,” she nudged myshoulder and raised her glass, “we bothknow we like cockwaytoo much. So, here’s to no threesomesandprobablynotgettinglaid!”
“OhmyGod,”Igroaned,andclinkedmyglasstohersbeforedowningitalongsidemycrazyassfriend.Withashakeofmy head,Iraisedmyhand,abouttosignalFrankieforanotherroundwhenIcaughtamanstandingjustpastJessa,leaningonthe bar.Lookinglikehewaswaitingforhisdrinkorder,hisfriendobliviousbehindhim.
Piercinggreeneyesshotinmydirection,andtheworldstoppedspinningforafewseconds Itcouldn’tbe.
Jessawavedherhandsinfrontofmyface,dejavuwashingovermeasIfocusedonher.Desperateanddefinitelyalittle buzzed,Iswattedherhandsaway.“EarthtoMaddie.Food’shere.GrabitbeforeIdo!”
Iglanceddownatthemouthwateringarrayofempanadas,tamales,salsas,andotherdeliciousthings.Butall Iwantedto seewas him
Itried to lookover her shoulder, buthe musthave gottenhis drinkbecause he and his friend were nowhere to be seen. Disappointmentcreptovermybodylikeacloak,heartpoundingoutitsmisery TheairfeltpalpablewithsomethingIcouldn’t name.LikethiswasamomentI’dlookbackonlater,andknow.
Mylifewasabouttochange.
Theonlyquestionwas,forbetter,orworse?
thinkI’dsellmyfavoritetrophyforjustonemorebiteofthisfuckingtaco,”Tymoaned,andIfoughtbacktheurgeto rollmyeyes.
Hewasn’twrong,buttheguywaseatingthedamnthinglikehejustfoundoutthatpussycouldbelickedandsucked andtasted
Itwasdamnnearobscene.Andfromthewayatableofgirlsacrossthebarwerestaring,theywerethinkingthesamething. Excepttheyprobablylikedwatchinghim
ThrowingbackwhatwasleftinthebottleIsnaggedwhenweplacedourorderatthebar,Iturnedaway.
Andinsteadfoundmyselflookingatthesamefuckinggirlfromearliertoday
TheonethatmademestopandstarelikeIwasafuckingfreshmanincollegeagain.
OrevenagoddamnteenagerwhodiscoveredtitsinawornoutcopyofPlayboythattheneighborhoodkidspassedaround. Stolenfromsomebody’sdad
Notmine.Godforbidthemanever reveal thathewasremotelyhumanbyhavingagirlymagazinehiddenawayfromhis kids Owen,theasshole,foundeverything,andnotatittobefound
ThankGodforBobbyHallstucker’sdad’sstash.
“Seriously, this would even make a mean motherfucker like you smile” Ty’s eyes rolled in pleasure like a girl was kneelingunderthedamntable.
“You’re freakingme the fuckout, Simmons. Stop lookinglike thatwhenyou’re sittingso fuckingclose.” Ieyed himas I signaled the server skillfully making her way through the crowd for another round The damn TV over the bar was on SportsCenter.
Thetopic?
ResnickGentryrebuildingthedamnCarolinaFury.
Andthedebateonwhetherornotsigningmetoaoneyear,performance-basedcontractforasingleseasonwithanoption wassmartorthedumbestmistakethisyearintheNFL.Everypersonatthedamnbarhadanopinionitseemed.
Notallleaninginmyfavor,either.Ituggedthebrimofmyhatdownmyhead,andfocusedonthegirlsittingatthebar.The onewithanauraofinnocenceandsomethingthatdrew metoher likeamothtoaflame Her hair remindedmeofhoney,or maybecaramel.AllIknewwasthatIhadasuddenurgetolickherinplacesafuckinggentlemanwouldn’tconsider.
Iturnedaway,onlytoseeTystaring,stilldevouringhisdamntacolikeafuckingperv “What?”
“Nothingatall,Q.”Hegrinnedinbetweenbites.“But,ifyoutakeapicture,itmightlastlonger.”Tyshovedthelastbite intohismouthandpulledouthisphone.“Wantmeto?Don’twantyouhurtingyourthrowingarmby-”
“Shutthefuckup,Simmons,beforeItell everyoneherewhoyouareandruinanychanceyouhaveofgettingoutwithout signingamillionnapkins.”
Hesnorted “Likethat’sabadthing”Onefingerpointedinmydirectionashepickeduphisdrinktheserversatdownin frontofhim.Hesmiledatherbeforeturningbacktome.“Youwaitandsee.I’mmakingitmymissiontomakeyoulovedagain, Lockwood”
“Idon’tneed to be loved, Simmons,” Imuttered, sippingmybeer. She looked over her shoulder, and the world melted away.
Then,justasquickly,thenoisereturned “Everyoneneedstobeloved,eveniftheydon’tthinktheydeservetobe.”
MADDIE r Tall,Dark,andAssholekeepssneakingpeeks,Mads”Jessa’slipsformedasmirk “Maybeyouwill getlaid,after all.”
Irolledmyeyes,gatheringmyhairintoabunandsecuringitwithascrunchie.AJhatedmyhairlong,andIonly startedtoletitgrowoutafterhemadehisexitfrommylife “I’mnotgettinglaid Beforeyougetanycrazyideas,I’mserious I justwantmymargaritaandtacos.Andguac.That’sit.”
Shesnorted Hereyesnarrowed,thenwidened MouthformedaperfectO “Shutthefuckingfrontdoor” Tacohalfwaytomywaitingmouth,Istopped.“What?”
Herstraighthairflewsidetosideassheshookherheadvehemently Thennodded “Hellyes Gotit”
“Wait.I’mgettingwhiplashhere,Jessa,”Isaid,settingdownmytaco,andwipingmyhandsbeforeplacingmypalmsflat onthetable.“Whytheturnaround?”
Hereyesrolled,thenturnedicy Headjerkedin his direction Shepointed,andIhissed,swattingatherfinger “That,”she growled,“isnotallowedanywherenearyou.”
Mybrowwrinkled “Why?”
ShecockedherheadlikeIwasmissingthebiggestpieceofapuzzleeverpresentedtosomeone.“He’sSebastian-” “Howdoyouknowhis-”
“Lockwood,Maddie.”
Wait, what?
I must’ve not used my inner voice, because Jessa nodded “Yep Owen’s brother And our team’s newest fucking quarterback.AndthebiggestassholeintheNFL.”
“Owenhasabrother?”
“Yep,”shepoppedtheP.“Andthere’snolovelostbetweenthem,fromwhatReidhassaid.”
Iglancedovermyshoulder,andwhilehewashidingunderaballcap,theresemblancewasfaint,butnowthatIknewwhat Iwaslookingfor,Isawit.
The jaw line. His frame, thoughSebastian(now that I knew his name, it felt like I knew a secret) was leaner and less intimidating
Butitwashiseyesthatwerestrikinglydifferent.
Owentookeverythingin,andthefewtimeswe’dbeeninthesameroom,hisgazewentfromallthedoorsandwhereReid wasinrelationtothem.Asifhehadtoprotectherinthecaseofabadsituationarising.Andeventhen,hedidn’trelaxunless hishandwasonher,somewhere.Remindingher,steadyingher…keepinghersafe.
ButSebastian?
Earlier,whenhewassittingonhisbikeintherain,hisgreeneyesstolemybreath.Unfazedbytheworldaroundhimand yetsointense Ifelthisgazelikealover'shandonmybody Theworldfadedaway,andhesaw me NotthescaredgirlIhad become,butthewomanIwantedtobe.Strong,withdreamsandwishesandallthethingsIhadleftbehindwhenIwaswithAJ. Withthatonefleetingmoment,hesawalltheplacesIkeptthingshidden
ThecrowdgrewlouderastheTVoverthebarflashedhispicture,andIglancedbackathimagain.Hatpulledlowoverhis eyes,intensityrolledoffhiminwaves.Theaircrackledwithelectricity,butweweretheonlyoneswhofeltit. Heglancedup,catchingmestudyinghim Mycheeksflushed,andIhastilylookedaway “Gotcha,”Jessasaid.
EventhoughIwasn’tlooking, the intensityofhis gaze was like a weighted blanket Iwaved myhand ather “Stop It’s nothing.”
“Bullshit. That,” she added pointingbetweenus, “Is notnothing. Thatis definitelysomething. And it’s notthe bestidea, trustme.”
Iraisedmyeyebrows “Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout There’sno‘something’or ‘badideas’” “Notyet.”
Irolledmyeyes,andfocusedonmydrink Overamouthfuloftaco,Ishruggedandsaid,“I’mnotinterestedinanything” “You mightnotbe,butsomeonedefinitelyis.”Shewenttopointathim,butIsmackedherhanddown.“I’mserious,Mads. It’s not a good idea The guy has a reputation Grade Aasshole He was put on waivers partly because his teamwent to management.ThisisClevelandwe’retalkingabout,too.Thecitythatcoulduseadamnquarterbackthatcanthrow.” “Thenhowdidwegethim?”
Shehookedher thumboverher shoulder “Becausetheguyhe’swith?Oneofthebesttightendsintheleague”Hernose wrinkled.“Seeingthetwoofthemtogether islikeseeingClarkKentandSupermaninthesameplace.Talkaboutaparadox. Anditlooksliketherestofthebarhasrealizedwhoisintheirmidsts”
Afewpeoplewereattheirtable,askingforautographsfromthelookofthings.Sebastianlookedmildlyannoyedatbeing recognized,butmostoftheattentionwasonhisfriend Simmons?
He was smilingand signingautographs while takingselfies witha few kids who were smilinglike they’d justwonthe lottery.
“Onlyquestionis,nothow,butwhy Thehowisrightthere”JessajerkedherheadatTySimmons “But,theguymuststill haveanarmifwesignedhim.Theattitude,though?Idon’tknowifthat’sworthallthetrouble.Andhe’strouble,Mads.”
Ididn’tanswer her as Itookanother sip ofmydrink Iknew all abouttrouble ButSebastianLockwood looked like the kindoftroubleagirlcouldgetlostin,andneverwanttoleave.
SEBASTIAN When the new owners bought the team, they did an extensive renovation on the facilities, including renovating a warehousejustoutsideofthesmallishseasidetownwiththebestequipmentanewinfluxmoneycouldbuy.
CarolinamadeClevelandlooklikearundownsummercamp.
Alongwithtrainingstaff,PT’s,andaformerOlympicGoldMedalistinswimmingturnedkinesiologyandsomatichealing expert.
“Fuck,hotyoga?I’minheaven”
IsnortedasSimmonsdroppedhisbagonthebenchnexttowhereIwaslacingup.“Youwouldlikehotyoga.”
“Somaticexerciseswouldreleaseallthatdamntensionyouholdonto,QB Andyou’dprobablybelessofanasshole”
“Nochanceofthathappeninganytimesoon,”Imuttered.Thelockerroomatthetrainingfacilitywasbiggerthananyother NFLlocker roomIhadbeeninduringmycareer.Offoneendwasaroomwithvariousrehabequipment,icebathsetupsas wellasasauna
Itwas like a goddamnspa for football players. The weightroomwas spacious enoughthatIcould workoutand notbe botheredbyanyoneelse,whichwashowIlikedit
Ty,however,couldn'ttakeahint.
Thefuckingguywasstartingtogrowoneme NotthatI’dtellhim
“Stayingoverafteryourrun?”
Inodded.KellanHornehaditwrittenintomycontractthatIhadafterhoursaccesstooneofthetrainingareassoIcould continuethepracticesIranpostpracticethreedaysaweekinCleveland Andhemadeitsoonlythecoachandafewtrainers knew.
Ofcourse,fuckingSimmonsstillshowedup But,whenweranplayswiththepracticesquad,itwouldshow WereadeachotherbetterthananyotherreceiverIhadeverworkedwith.
“Cool.Ihavetomakeaquickphonecall,thenI’llseeyouonthefieldafter.Haveagoodrun.”
Fortyminuteslater,thebrightlightfilledthepracticefield,thegreenturflaidoutlikeawelcomingmat.
Simmonswentlong,andIpassedtheball.Hecaughtiteasily.Wedidafew playswehadbeenworkingon,andanhour later,drippingwithsweatwesatonthebenchofftotheside
Taking a long swig from his water bottle, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “That last one? Two-point conversionwrittenalloverit Easily”
“Iknow.”
“Areyousmiling,QB?”
“This?”Ipointedatmyface.“Involuntaryreactiontobeingstuckwithyouallthetime.” Tygrinned,andstoodup.Heheldouthishand,andpulledme.“Comeon,oldman.It’staconight.”
Andjustlikethat,thefantasyrunningthroughmyheadallweekplayedlikeasongyoucan’tgetoutofyourhead Ididn’t knowhername.Iknewwheresheworked,anddrovepasteveryday,hopingtocatchaglimpseofher.
Thewayherhairfellinfrontofherfacewhenshesmiledandlookeddown,likeshewasusedtohidingitfromtheworld Ortheonetimeshehadbeenlaughingsohard,hernosewaswrinkledupandherheadwasthrownback.Sixdays.Foursmiles. Butthelaugh?Fuck,Ineededtohearitinperson.
“Letaguyshowerfirst,”Igrumbled Andjustlikethat,thefantasyIstrokedmyselfofftotwiceadaypoppedintomyhead Thewayshewouldlookaftercomingwithmeonherknees,lickingandsuckingandtastinghersweetpussy.Learningwhat sheliked,andmakinghercomeoverandover Thenrunningmyhandsoverherbody,rinsingthelatheroffherskin,toweling heroff.ThewayhersoftsighswouldmakealltheshitI’ddonedisappear.
Ididn’tevenknowhername,butIwasjerkingoffthinkingabouthermorethanIeverhadinmylife.Itstillwasn’tenough. “Ithinkit’ssweetyougetyourselfallprettyforme,QB,”TyteasedthenlaughedwhenIshothimadeathglare.“Stopbyto getyou?”
“Fine.Butit’syourtreat.Thistime, you canbuyaroundforthedamnbar.” Hislaughterfollowedhimallthewaydownthehall Whoreallywastheasshole?Littleshitcostmealmost$500lastweek. Butitwasallworthitifshewasthere I’dpaydoubletobethatclose Andthistime,Iwasgettinghername.
“ANOTHER ROUND?”Nicky,ourserver,smiledasshestoppedatourtable.Ihadtoadmit,havingourtrainingfacilitiesinthe smalltownvibelocationhaditsperks.ThePricklyPeardidhavethebesttacosI’deverhad,andthepomegranateguacamole mightfuckingbemyweakness.
Andthewaypeopleheredidn’tfawnovereitherofus,butinsteadmadeusfeelsomewhatwelcome.MoreSimmonsthan me,butstill
FuckingSimmons.Iwasnottellinghimanyofmythoughts,though.HisegowasbigenoughwhereIwasconcernedasit was “I’mgood,but,”hegrinnedashepointedtotheemptybowl infrontofme,“Ithinkmyfriendcouldusemorepomguac. Andafewwaters?”
Shesmiled,andnodded,sweepinguptheemptyplatesandbottles “I’llberightback”
Tyeyed her ass as she walked away, hips swaying. His grinwas huge, and all Midwestwitha tinge ofcynicismhe hid well ButIknew,beneaththesurface,hehadafewdemonsofhisown “Looksliketonightwon’tbeawasteafterall.”
“Whatthefuckdoesthatmean?”Irubbedthebackofmyneck,wishingIwould’vesatinthesaunaforafewminutesafter practice instead of just takinga hot shower. Thirty-five was feelingmore and more like it was closer to fortythe last few weeks.NotfollowingmyusualroutinelikeIhadbeenbackinClevelandwastakingatoll,andifmybodydidn’tgetinline,I wouldbebacktosittingonmycouchwatchingreplaysofgamesinsteadofplayinginthem
“Takealookatwhojustwalkedin,”hejerkedhisheadtowardthedoor.IshiftedinmyseatsoIcouldhaveabetterview ofthedoor,butnotbeforeIshothisshit-eatinggrinwearingfaceaglare
Thereshewas.
Oh, baby girl
As ifshe heard mythoughts, she looked up atme. Blue eyes, clear and litwitha sparkthatIknew I’d fuckingdimifI wasn’tcareful,lockedwithmine.
“Madison”
“What?”Iasked,irritatedthatheinterruptedthemomentweweresharing.
“Hername,QB Madison Or,moreaccurately,Maddie” Maddie.
Shemadeherwaythroughthecrowd,chattinganimatedlywithtwootherwomen.One,theblondeshehadbeenwithlast weekandworkedwith.Thebrunetteshookherhead,laughing,astheygrabbedatablenearthebrightlypaintedmuralcovering the far wall. Maddie ducked her head, a blushmakingher appear bothinnocentand so fuckinggorgeous thatmydamncock reactedinstantly Theideaofseeingthatfuckingcoloracrossherchestandspreadingalongherfaceasshecamebeneathme? Fuck.Igulpedtherestofmybeer,thendrewmyeyebrowstogetherinconfusion.“Howthehelldidyoufindouthername?” Tyshrugged,thenjerkedthehandholdinghisbeerinmydirection “Idrink,andIknow-” “You’renotquotingthatfuckingshow.”
His chuckle was irritatingas fuck, but evidentlymydeathstare was no longer a deterrent. “I have mysources. Plus, I figuredyourwingmanbetterdosomethingtoearnhisplace,oryou’dkickmetothecurb.”
“Youareoneinterestingguy,Simmons.Justdon’ttellmeyou’vebeenstalkingher,andIwon’thavetotakeyououtback andhidethebody”
He snorted. “Stalkingis so Netflix. Ifollowed youhome a few days ago. Remember? WhenIdropped offyour fucking phonebecauseyouwererunninglateandwereafraidyouweregoingtomissclosingtimeattheshopsheworksat Youknow, theone.Hugewindow.Perfectforstaringatthegirlyou’veprobablybeenjerkingoff-”
“Dude,”Igrowled.“Don’tgothere.Igetthedamnpoint.”AsmuchasIhatedthathefoundouthernamebeforeIdid,Ty wasagoodguy Whoknewwhyhewashangingoutwithme,though “She’s23,dude.Totalageg-”
“Don’tsayit”Iwarned,whichonlymadehimlaughharder “You’refuckingenjoyingthis,aren’tyou,asshole?”
“Absofuckinglutely.Youthinkyou’rethebadguy,Lockwood,butIknow better.Andshewill,too,”headded,pointingto whereMaddiewaslaughingandeatingwithherfriends.“Itoldyou,’hewinked.“Iknow things.”
“Fuckoff”
Hewaveddowntheserver,andasshenearedtotakeourorder,Tygrinned.Eyesfilledwithmirthandthesamelookhehad whenwenailedplaysonthefieldlastseasoninCleveland Theplayswespenthourspracticingaftertherestoftheguysleft Likehehadasecret.
Fucker
Isighed.“Fine.I’llbite.Whatelsedoyouknow?”
Hegaveourordertotheserver,andadded,“Extrapomguac?”
Myjawclenched,Inodded,andofferedthepoorgirlatightsmile “Please”
Aftersheleft,Tyleanedforward,elbowsonthetable.“Thestorestalk,ahem,drivebyafterpracticeeverysingleday-”
“Asshole,”Imuttered
“Isavintagecoutureboutique,”hecontinuedasifIhadn’tspoken,“OwnedbyKylieandReidTaylor.Reidhappenstobe engagedto,waitforit yourbrother”
Inearlychokedonmydrink.“Whatdidyoujustsay?”
Eyeingmeoverhisbeerashedranktherestofit,Tyjerkedhisheadinherdirection.“Brunette?Reid.Ihavenoideawho theothergirlis,butsheworksthere,too”
“Owen’sintown?Here?Asleepylittleplacelikethis?”
“This‘place’isnotsleepy I’dfuckingcomeherejustforthedamntacos Andsowouldyou Yep DidyouthinkIdidn’t knowyouhadabrother,QB?”
“Half-brother.”
“Fuckthat.Yougrew uptogether.You’re brothers.Familyis family.Doesn’tmatter ifyou’re halfor whole or whatever. Brothersalwayshaveyourback.”Notforthefirsttime,Tydroppedhishappygoluckydemeanorandgavemeasolemnlook. “Brothersalwayshaveyourback That’showitworks”
Iletoutalongbreath.“Unlesstheydon’t.Ihaven’ttalkedtoOweninyears.Evenbeforethat,weweren’tthatclose.” Hescoffed “Ibetyouwere,morethanyouthink Besides,nowyou’reinthesametown And,”headdedasMelinda,our server,satourorderdownonthetable.“Maybethingshappenforareason.”
DamnpomegranateguacamolemademymouthwateralmostasmuchasMaddiedid. Fuck,itsuitedher.Sweet,innocent.Mouthwatering.
“If things happenfor a reason, what the hell is the reasonyoukeep buggingme so damnmuch?” I muttered, shovinga mouthfulofheavenintomymouth Ibitbackagroan,becauseIwaspicturingfeedingittoher,watchingherlips,imaginingher lickingthembecauseImissedonpurpose.Howshetastes.Smell.Howitwouldfeeltotakecareofher.
“I’mheretosaveyourdamncareer Andmaybeyoursoulalongtheway,QB AndwinthefuckingSuperBowl”
MADDIE “Shutthefrontdoor!Youdidwhat?”
Reidlaughed,smoothingherhairdownfromthelightdrizzlethatbegantofallrightaswelockedupMagpieand headedforHappyHour.“OwenandIfoundanoldantiqueshopthathadthematchingtrunktotheoneGrandmaLena’s bestfriendhad AndOwentotallyworethepoorshopownerdownontheprice Andnow,Magpiehasthematchingset After thatwewentskinnydippinginthelake.”Hereyestwinkled.
“Fuck,andImissedit?” Jessa pouted Reidplayfullyswattedather “What? Ineedtolive vicariouslythroughyou The leastyoucould’vedonewastakeasneakattackpicandtextittome.”
“Jessa, Iamnotsendingyounude photos ofOwen Ever” Reid rolled her eyes, a smile playingonher crimsonpainted lips.“Evenifyoudidkindaintroduceus,thatdoesnotmean-”
She sighed. “I know, but he’s sucha knight inshiningarmor. But I’ll just have to live withmyHenryCavill fantasies. Stupidchindimple,”shemuttered
“Weren’tyouworriedabout,Imean-”
“YouwillnotcatchmejumpinginthewateralaLukeBryancountrysong Nope I’mwithyou,Maddie”Jessanudgedme withhershoulder.“Unlessthere’ssomehighcaliberabsandafewshotsofvodkainvolved.I’llputinanorderwithmylittle bartenderfriend,withextrapomguac,”sheaddedbeforeIsaidaword
Iwrinkledmynoseandmouthed thank you assheheadedtowardsthebar.
“So,” Reid said as she satdownonthe highpub stool and propped her chinonher hand. Elbow onthe colorful table, smilingatme
“Yes?”
“Howareyou,Mads?”sheasked,eyessoftandfullofconcern
Themusicchanged,andasongstartedplayingthatIloved,andthat’swhenInoticed he washere. Again.
Sittingatatablewiththesameguyhehadbeenwithlastweek.Simmons?Sigh.Oneofthesedays,Imighthavetofigure thisfootballthingout.
Myeyes shifted fromthe magnetic pull ofSebastianto myother bestfriend “I’mgood Reallygood And,” Ibitmylip withasmile,“ItalkedtoKylieabouthelping.”
Hersmilegrewandshegrabbedmyhandsinhers “Good Andit’snotjust‘helping’,Maddie”
Thistime,Iwrinkledmynoseather.“ButIhaveabsolutelyno qualifications,Reid.ImeanIleftinthemiddleofcollegeto comeouthere,andwell,weknowhowthatendedup.”HerflinchwassoslightthatIalmostmissedit.Isqueezedherhand.“I amsosorryabout-”
Her cool hands tookbothofmine inher own. “Stop rightthere. We absolutelynever apologize for other people’s toxic behavior”
Ibitmylip,thensmiled.“GrandmaLena?’
ReidnoddedasJessacamebackfromflirtingtogetherwaywithFrankie,thebartenderwholovedtomakeourdrinksjust strongenoughthatthepomguacbecameanecessity.WhichIwasgoodwith.Sigh.WhenIfoundoutIcouldtakeanorderhome withme,Isquealedwithdelight.“Shewasawisewoman.”Hereyesteared,andshewipedunderneathhereyeswithaquick motion “Andshealsosaidneverruingoodmascaraunlessthereasoniseverything So,cheers?” Weraisedourglasses.“Cheers!”
THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT, Ikeptstealingglances over atSebastian. Excepttheyweren’texactlystolen, because everytime I glancedhisway,piercinggreeneyescaughtmered-handed.Itbecameagameofsexychicken.Whowouldbreakthespellfirst. Idid,becauseguiltatthewholethingwithOwen’sestrangedbrotherwaseatingawayatme
Threeverystrongdrinksin,though,myinnerself,thegirlwhohadmovedouthereinthefirstplaceallonherown,was kickingdownthedooranddecidingtomakeanappearance Shewasinnomoodtoletanyoneelsedictateheractions Evenif itmeantstaringatoneofherbestfriendsoff-limitsfuturebrother-in-law.
Phew, that was a mouthful, Ithoughtas Iranthe lime alongthe rimofmyglass thenlicked the gingered saltoff Eyes daringSebastiantolookawayfirstthistime.Jessakickedmeunder thetable,andbrokethespell.“What?”Isuppressedthe urgetostompmyfoot,thengiggled.“Shit,I’mbuzzed,aren’tI?”
Jessanodded,thenpointedatReid’sretreatingback “You’rejustluckyReidistoostarryeyedaboutplanningherwedding toTall,Dark,andDaddytonotice.Butshewillifyoudon’tknockitoff.”
Notsureifitwasthebuzzorthe‘Tall,Dark,andDaddy’,butsuddenlyIcouldn’tstopthecaseofthegigglesoverwhelming me.Jessacrossedherarmsoverherheadandflippedherblondehairoverhershoulder.Herlipstwitched,andfinallyshelet outasnortandsmiled “Fine Butit’strue Youmakinggooglyeyesall nightisprettyfuckingobvious Toldyou,needtoget laid.But,”sheheldupahandbeforeIcouldgetawordinedgewise,“MaybenotwithTall,Dark,andAssholeoverthere.Or rideitonce,getonthehorse,thenlethimgallopoffintothesunset.”Shestopped,andputherarmaroundmyshoulderinahalf ahug,becauseneitherofuswouldrelinquishourdrinks Ourverystrong drinks
“Pshaw.Mybuzzingbuddytakescareofmebetterthanmostmenevercould.Whoneedsthatdisappointment?”
“No disappointmentwanted here!” Iraised myglass and as we tapped themtogether, Nickyshowed up witha round of waterbottles.“Wedidn’torderthese,Nicky.”
ShewinkedthenjerkedherheadtowardthetableSebastiansat,staringandbroody.Hisfriendwastalkinganimatedly,but Sebastianignoredhim.“Somebodysaidyoulookeddehydratedandaskedmetobringitover.”
Jessa’seyeswidened.“Noshit?”
Nickynodded “Noshit Plusabigtip,too Evenifhisrepisbad,themanismybesttipper And,”sheadded,“Heglowers atanyonewhotriestograbmyass.”
“Nice,”Jessasaidasshedownedoneofthewaters “And,” Nickyadded, settingdownanorder ofpomguac, “he sentthis, plus he paid for your to-go order, Maddie.” She winkedbeforewalkingawaywithabiggrinonherface.
“Well,fuck.”Hersighwasborderlineepic.“Anymanwhosendsoverpomguac?Lesigh.”Shespunmearound,faceto face,hands onmyshoulders andsaid,“Ride him,leave him,andtell noone.I’ll hide the bodyifhe’s anasshole.Ifyougo down-”
“Stop quotingcountrysongs, Jess!” Igiggled, butas mygaze snuckover her shoulder, Sebastianraised his water bottle, andpointeditatthetable “Bossy,much,”Imuttered,butgrabbedthedamnthinganyway Onesideofhismouthtiltedashe watchedmedrinktheentirebottle,thenwipethebackofmyhandacrossmymouth.Islammedtheemptybottleonthesurface ofthetablejustasReidreturned.
“Iamsothirsty,”shesaidasshepickedupabottleofwater
IshotJessa a glare before she couldutter a word,andannounced,“I’mheadingtothe ladies room.” Mylookmusthave beenmurderous,becauseJessabackedoffwhenIshookmyhead
AsIweavedthroughthecrowd,becauseIwasn’ttheonlyonewholovedThePricklyPear’stacosandpomguac,Istarted tofeelthewayIhadafewweeksafterAJ’sarrestaftertheincidentatMagpieDreams
LikeIwouldshatterifanyonedaredtolookatme,andeveniftheymeantwell,ReidandJessaheldtheirbreatharoundme, likeIwasdelicateandcouldn’thandlethesimplestthingswithoutfallingapart.Reid’sgetawaywithOwen,evenifshedidn’t meanitthatway,feltlikeatest AndifIsaidsomyself,Ipasseditwithflyingcolors
Stupidstrongmargaritas.Andassholefootballplayerswhojuststareacrosstheroomandlookallbroodyandsexy.
Thebathroomwaslargerthanthetypicalbar,butthenagain,ThePricklyPearwasnottypical,withoutaline Oneofthe reasonshadtobethatthemenurivaledmostsit-downrestaurants,andtheatmospherewasperfection.
Still workingoutthatequationwithmyslightlybuzzed (and wearingoff, thankfully) and flustered brain(because, hello, Mr.Tall,Dark,AndAsshole.) Inoddedmyheadas Istaredatmyreflectioninthe mirror after Itouchedupmylipstick.I’d showhim.SendingwaterthendemandingIdrinkit?Iwasmyownperson,andhecouldjuststuffhisprettygreeneyesunder thatdamnballcapanddealwithit
AndIwaskeepingthepomguac.
Yep All.Mine.
Mindmadeup,Iclutchedmyvintagehandbaginonehand,andpushedopenthebathroomdoorwiththeother,onlytorun intoawall.
Asolid,muscular,yummysmellingwall.
Myeyesdriftedup,andtherehewas. Mr.Tall,Dark,andAsshole.
IftherewasonethingIhadinspades,itwaspatience Andastupidfuckingcompulsiontotakecareofstraykittensand innocent women, evenwhentheysometimes turned out to not be so innocent as theylet on. Two hours of watching MaddieacrosstheroomwhilelisteningtoTydroneonabouteverythingfromhotfuckingyogatothelatestversionof whateverdamnalbumreleasedonline,andIwasatmylimit
Especiallybecause whatever drinks her friend kept bringingover were makingher giddy, bright blue eyes shiningand hauntingme Teasingme
Fuckingtemptationinasweetpackagethathadnobusinessbeingaroundamanlikeme. Noteverystorybeginslikeafairytale OnceuponatimeandPrinceCharmingdidn’thappenintherealworld Iwasn’tagoodman.
Butwatchingherthelasthourorso?
Iwantedtobeforher
Iwasn’tevenclose,though.Agirllikethatdeservedtohavetheknightridinginonawhitehorse.Whowouldn’twantto fuckheragainstthewallinthehallwayjusttohearhowshesoundedwhenshecameundermyhands IflaggeddownNicky.“Seethattableover there?”Iyelledover themusic,whichhadgrownsteadilylouder asthenight progressed Shenodded “Roundofwater,onme”Ihandedherahundred “Keeptherest”
“It’s too much,” she protested, butIhad beenwatchingher workher ass offall night, glaringatthe prickwho couldn’t rememberhereyeswereuphigher.
Ishookmyhead “You’veearneditlisteningtothisguy,”IsaiddrylyasTyflippedmethebirdwithagrin “Sendoverpom guacthenforpartofit.”
Sheleanedandaddedinaconspiratorialtone “Maddiealwaysgetsanorderto-go ” “Thenthat’sonme,too.See,earnedeveryfuckingpenny.” Nickylaughed,andputherhandsonherhips,tiltingherhead.“Watchout,Lockwood.Thatmaskisstartingtoslip.” Asshewalkedawaythroughthecrowd,Tylaughedloudly.“Toldyou.” Iglaredathim.“I’mafraidtoask.”
“Underneaththatfacadeisaguywhojustwantstobeloved” “Fuckoff.”
Hethrewhisheadback,andslappedhisknee “It’salwaysthegirlthatmakesaguystepuphisgameandturnshitaround Andme,ofcourse.”
“Fuckoff,Simmons.”Idranktherestofmybeerdown,glaringathimoverthebottle,“Don’twhinewhenImakeyourun runningplaysfortwohoursnexttime.”
Heshrugged.“Igetit.It’syourlovelanguage.Mine?Actsofservice.Andfood.Particularlytacos.Fromhere.”Battinghis eyelashesatme,hecontinued “Andyouarecheckingoffallmyboxes Toobadyou’readick” “Don’tyoumeanIhave adick?”
“SaidwhatIsaid”Hisgrin,unapologetic,irkedme,butinsteadofbeinganassholelikeIusuallywould,Idrainedmybeer withadeathstare.HeraisedhiseyebrowswithajerkofhisheadinthedirectionofwhereMaddiesatwithherfriends.And mydickheadhalf-brother’sgirl.
“Here’syourchance,QB Noplayactionfake,getitintheredzone” “Youseriouslyhaveissues.”
“Andyoulovemedespiteourproblems
Useyourmutualloveforfuckingpomguactospark aconversation.”
ForamomentIconsideredwalkingoutandleavinghimwiththecheck,butthenmydickdecidedtojointheconversation.I stoodandheadedinthedirectionofthebathroomswithoutlookingback.GodknewSimmonswaslovingeverysecondofthis, butrightthen,Ididn’tgiveafuck
WhenInearedthedarkenedhallway,Iglancedaround.Nearlyempty,andtheperfectplaceacreepyassholewouldstalka poorgirlandwaitoutsidethedamndoorforhertocomeout Iwasjustabouttoturnandleave,whensomeonecamebarreling throughtheladiesroomdoor.
Andslammedheadfirstintome
Thescentofberriesmixedwithsomethingwarmandexoticdriftedupfromherwarmskin,braceletsonherwristsmaking thesweetestnoisesasshesteadiedherself.Handsonmychest,warmandreal.
Clearblueeyesblinkedassherealizedwhereshewas,andshetriedtostepaway,butmyhandscoveredhersandheldher inplace.
Hertonguedartedouttomoistenherlips “Hi,”shesaid,allbreathyandsweetandeverythingthatIdidn’tdeserve “Oh,babygirl.”
Gazewideandinnocent,shecurledherpalmsintofists,clutchingmyshirtinherfingers Myfuckingcocknearlyexploded atthecontact,wishingherhandwasclenchedarounditinsteadofthematerialofthethint-shirt.
“Yes?”
Ismirked This conversation, the wayshe looked up atme, had the potential to go all sorts ofways “Youshould have anotherwaterbeforeyouleave.”
Herheadjerkedback “Um,youdo yourealizeIdon’tevenknowyou?”
Inoticedshestillhadn’tpulledherhandsfrommine.Ifanything,shewasholdingontighter.Afierysparklightinghereyes thatremindedmeoftheFourthofJuly.“Name’sSebastianLockwood.”
Shealmostrolledhereyes,andmyfuckingpalmtwitched.Eithertostrokehercheekorspankherass.Bothideasmademy cockevenhappier.
“Tsk,tsk,Maddie”
Herblueeyesnarrowed.“Howdidyouknowmyname?”
“Smalltown Peopletalk”
“Likeserverswhogetbigtipsfromfootballplayers?”
My shoulder lifted and fell, and she swayed the tiniest bit, but when she did, her sweet body brushed up against the happiestpartofmeatthemoment.Becausemycockwasmereinchesawayfromwhereitreallywantedtobe. Makinghercome,chestflushed,gaspingandtrembling.
Theheatbetweenuswasmakingmecrazy Sheleanedin,andInearlygroanedbutIdidn’twanttobreakthespell “God,whydoyousmellsogood?”
Iletoutalow,darkchuckle “Allthebettertolureyouin” “What?” She was too sweet, beautiful and damnnear too youngto be fantasized aboutthe wayIwas doing. Butfuck, I wantedtoknowwhatsheliked,howshelikedtobetouched.Licked.
Fucked
Tobethemanwhomadehershatterandfallapart,overandoveruntilshewasspent,boneless,lyingnakedinmyarms. Pupilsdilatedasbreathcamefasterandshebitherlowerlip Herhandssliddownmychest Istoppedthembeforeshegot anyfurther.Mynoseinchesawayfromhers,breathingthesameair.
“Oh,babygirl I’mnottheknightinshiningarmor I’mthebigbadwolf,andyoushouldwalkawaybeforeIdevouryou”I ranmyhandalongherjawline.
Hereyeslockedonmine,lipssoftlyparted,shesaid,“Maybeyou’rethesafeplaceI’vebeensearchingforallalong.”She stooduponhertiptoes,tryingtoclosethespacebetweenus,justasIbentdownandclaimedherlipsasmine
Honey,andsunripenedraspberries withlime.She tastedlike summer andthe promises ofthings yettocome.Whenshe whimperedintomymouth,mycockstrainedagainstmyzipper,beggingtobereleased
Myhandsslidintohersoft,sun-kissedhair,longandinloosewavesdownherback.Fuck,thewayshetasted,smelled?
Cummingjustfromkissingher was becominga real life possibility Inthe damnhallwayofthe place thatmade the best fuckingfoodI’deverhad.Shedeservedsomuchmorethanthat.Ibegantopullaway,toleaveherbeforeIruinedherwhenshe grabbedontomyshirtandpulledmeincloser.Hipsgrindingandtryingtomoldthemselvestomygroin.
Idelvedintohermouth,suckinginhertongue,showingherwhatIfuckingwishedweweredoingasItastedandsuckedand lickedher.KissingherwithanurgencyIdidn’tunderstand.
Likeatanyminute,she’drealizehermistakeandwalkawayjustlikeItoldherto ButIwouldn’tletherleave Notnow NotafterIknewhowshetasted,howherbodyfeltpressedupagainstmine.Hersweetcurvesagainstmyhardenedbody. Shewasfuckingmine.
“Takemehome,please,Sebastian,”shebeggedintomymouthwhenwefinallycameupforair.“Ipromise,Iwon’tbreak.I needthis.Withyou.Andonlyyou.”
Summerdaysatthebeachfollowedbysunsetnightsbyabonfire.Shewasallthatandfuckingmore.AndIneededtotake awaythatlookinher eyes.The one thatsaidshe was scaredandvulnerable andtiredofeveryone treatingher like she was breakable
“Justthisonce,givemeonenightofnothavingtobethatgirlanymore.Giveme…meback.”
Inodded “Oh,babygirl,I’llgiveyousomuchmorethanthat Forjustonenight”
