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TableofContents He’sNoGoodForMe TenyearsasaNavySEALfollowedbyfiveyearsinprison...
Itfeelslikemyentireadultexistencehasbeencontrolledanddictated.Imademychoicesandacceptedthe consequences.I’vedonealotofhorriblethingsinmylifetime.Thingsthatwakemeupinthemiddleofthenight screamingandinacoldsweat.PerhapsprisonwaswhereIdeservedtobe.
Butshedoesn’tthinkso...
I’venevermetherface-to-face,butshe’smyshininglight.
Justmonthsbeforemyrelease,she’sgrantedaconjugalvisit.Whatwasmeanttobeaphysicalreleaseanda privatemomenttoplanourlivestogetherturnedintoashockIneversawcoming,whichforcesmetodecidebetween themanIwasandmanIamaimingtobe.
Excerptfrom: OppositesCollide Imaybeafortuneteller,butIneversawthisarrogantbillionaireinmyfuture. Thankfully,he'sonlysnowedinforonenight...Withme.
Willow Ablizzardstrandsstrait-lacedtechbillionaire,Mr.AdamMayes,inthehumblemotelImanage.Andheclearlyhatesit.
Heseemstofindeverythingaboutmyquaintlittleliferidiculousandbeneathhim;frommypackofrescuehoundsandthe shelterIrunonmyproperty,tomysidegigoftarotreading.Andhe’snottheleastbitshyinlettingmeknow.
Well,screwhim.
There’smoretolifethanmoneyandpower,althoughconsideringI’mcurrentlylivingmonth-to-monthbarelyabletokeepthe doorsopentomyrescue,afewextra0'sattheendofmybankaccountbalancewouldn'thurt.
AsmuchasIneedthemoneyfromhisroomrental,Ineedhimgone.Thecardswereveryclearonlychaoswouldresultfrom himbeingnearme Thecardshaveyettofailme
There’sonlyoneproblem,despitethefactwemixlikeoilandwaterthere’sarawsexualenergybetweenusthat’sundeniable andevenmoreirresistible.Callitinsanity,butI’mstartingtothinkthatthecardsarerightandthatfatehasbiggerplansforus thanonesimplenightofpassion.
He’sNoGoodForMe by
TerryTowers TenyearsasaNavySEALfollowedbyfiveyearsinprison...
Itfeelslikemyentireadultexistencehasbeencontrolledanddictated.Imademychoicesandacceptedthe consequences.I’vedonealotofhorriblethingsinmylifetime.Thingsthatwakemeupinthemiddleofthenight screamingandinacoldsweat.PerhapsprisonwaswhereIdeservedtobe.
Butshedoesn’tthinkso...
I’venevermetherface-to-face,butshe’smyshininglight.
Justmonthsbeforemyrelease,she’sgrantedaconjugalvisit.Whatwasmeanttobeaphysicalreleaseanda privatemomenttoplanourlivestogetherturnedintoashockIneversawcoming,whichforcesmetodecidebetween themanIwasandmanIamaimingtobe.
ByTerryTowers TemptationCreations
Allrightsreserved Withtheexceptionofbriefquotesusedforcriticalreviewsandarticlesnopartofthisbookmaybe usedorreproducedwithoutthewrittenpermissionoftheauthorTerryTowers.SaintJohn,NewBrunswick,Canada.
Warning:Theunauthorizedreproductionordistributionofthiscopyrightedworkisillegal Nopartofthisbookmaybe scanned,uploadedordistributedviainternetorothermeans,electronicorprintwithouttheauthorspermission Criminal copyrightinfringementwithoutmonetarygainisinvestigatedbytheFBIandispunishablebyupto5yearsinfederalprisonand afineof$250,000.(http://www.fbi.gov.ipr/).Pleasepurchaseonlyauthorizedelectronicorprinteditionsanddonot participateinorencouragetheelectronicpiracyofcopyrightedmaterial
Thisbookisaworkoffiction.Anyresemblancetopersons,livingordead,orplaces,eventsorlocalesispurely coincidental.Thecharactersareproductionsoftheauthorsimaginationandusedfictitiously.
NewsletterSign-up Chapter1 Breanna
Mynervesweregettingtomeasfear-basedadrenalineshotthroughmybody,urgingmetoturnonmyheelsandgetout ofthereASAP Ishouldjustforgetthisharebrainedideaonceandforall MyhandshookeversoslightlyasIpassedmy identificationcardtotheguardatthefrontdeskoftheSpringMeadowCorrectionalFacility.Thebroad-shoulderedblondman carefullyinspectedmydocumentationandthenbeganinputtingsomethingintothecomputerinfrontofhim.
Oh God, this is such a very bad idea. What am I thinking?
NotasinglepersonclosetomeknewIwasvisitingColeLincolntoday Notmyfamily,notmycoworkers,andnoteven myclosestanddearestoffriends.I’dbeencarefultokeepmyvisitstotheprisonandmyrelationship ifyoucouldcallitthat awell-guardedsecret,mostlybecauseIwasn’tsurewhattheirreactionswouldbe.Idoubtitwouldbegood.Theywouldn’t evenpretendtobeonboardifImentionedtothemthatforthepastsixmonths,foranhouronceaweek,I’dbeenvisitingan inmateI’dnevermetontheoutsideworld
They’dsayIwasinsaneforgoingandtrytopreventit.They’dthinkofeveryreasonformenotcontinuetopursuethis, andthey’dtalkaboutmebehindmybackabouthownaiveandfoolishIwasbeing.TheotherreasonwasthatIwas embarrassedbyhowitcameaboutthatIwascominghereinthefirstplace Mostwomenwhovisitedmenattheprisonwere theirwives,sisters…peoplewhoknewtheprisonerfortheirentirelifetimes.
Butnotme.Nope.Iwasanoutlierallthewayitseems.
MyfamilywouldprobablyberightandmaybeIwasinsane.Consideringmyhistorywithmen,allevidencewould supportthatconclusion
Butnoneofthatmattered,becausetodaywasextraspecialforusasacouple.Colehadrequesteda“familyvisit,” whichmeant frommyunderstanding thatwewerebeinggivenprivacytodowhateverwewantedinasmalltrailer,which, ofcourse,wouldbewell-guarded ThemostphysicalcontactI’dhadwithhimoverthepastsixmonthswastoholdhishandor givehimaquickhug TodaywasthedayI’dbeendaydreamingandmasturbatingaboutforwhatfeltlikeaneternity Iwas goingtofeeleveryinchofhisextremelyoh-so-sexybody,andthethoughtwasbothexhilaratingandterrifyingallatonce.
TheofficeratthefrontdeskclearedhisthroatandwhenIpulledmyselffrommymomentarydaydream,foundhim glaringatme Woulditkillthemtosmileonceinawhile?Itcan’tbethatbadworkinghere Canit?
Asmyeyessweptoverthegray,dingywallsandthefaintsmellofdisinfectanttickledmynose,IdecidedI’dbeen wrong.Itprobablywasthatbad.
“Allright,ma’am,everythingseemstocheckout.Proceedoninthroughthatfirstdoorwhenyouhearthebuzzer,and OfficerRizzowillassistyoufromthere”TheofficergavemeanodandwentbacktowhateverhehadbeendoingbeforeI’d showedupandinterruptedhim.
“Th-Thankyou,”Istuttered,snatchingupmyhandbag,slippingmyidentificationinsideandquicklyproceedingthrough thefirststeeldoor
OncethroughthedoorItooknoticeofaleanLatinawomanwithherdarkhairpulledtightlybackinabunanda
nametagreadingRizzo,sittingatthefirstdeskIcameto.SittingnexttoOfficerRizzowasahusky,baldingmanwiththe nametagidentifyinghimas Cooper
AsIapproached,OfficerRizzostoodandmotionedformetofollowalong.“Haveyoubeenherebefore?”theofficer asked.Shewalkedseveralfeetfromherdesk,pulledoutacardkeyfromherpocket,andunlockedthedoor.Whenthereader blinkedgreensheusheredmeinside,followingaftermeandclosingthedoorbehindus.Theseverityoftheloudbangfromthe doorclosingcausedmetogasp
Ineededtocalmmynerves.Therewasn’tanythingtofear.Itwasaprisonforheaven’ssake.Besides,innocentpeople didn’tactsuspiciously.Iwasactingsupersusrightnowdespiteeverythingbeingontheupandup.
“Umm,yes,”IfinallyansweredasIsurveyedmysurroundings,whichwasasmallwindowlessroomconsistingofa singlewoodentable,withtwochairs,andastoragelockerattheback “ButthisisthefirsttimeI’vebeengrantedafamily visit.”Iletoutanervouschuckle.“It’sgotmeonedge,Iguess.”
OfficerRizzocrossedherarmsoverherchest,herdarkeyesnarrowingatme.“Isee.WouldtherebeareasonIshould knowaboutthatwouldmakeyounervous?”
MyblueeyeswidenedasIshookmyhead.“No,ofcoursenot.”
“Yes,well,theprocedureisalittledifferentwiththesetypesofvisits.I’mgoingtoneedyoutostripdowntoyour undergarments,MissSutten,tocheckforcontraband.AndI’mgoingtoneedtogothroughthecontentsofyourpurse.”
Oh, God!Colehadforewarnedmethatthiswascommonpractice,butnowthatthetimehadcomeithitmethatIhadn’t quitementallypreparedmyselfforwhatwasabouttohappen.Hisassurancessureashelldidn’tmakehavingtostripnaked underthecynicaleyeofthefemaleofficeranylessintimidating.
Closingmyeyes,Itookadeepbreathin,slowlyreleasingitasIopenedmyeyesagain “Okay”Icoulddothis It wasn’tlikeshewasamanabouttogropeeverypartofme Thiswasherjobandshelookedlikeshetookherjobseriously “Now?”
Of course now, you idiot,avoiceatthebackofmymindmocked.
“Yeah,thatwouldbeidealandwouldbeappreciated Wedon’thaveallday I’msureyouwantthisoverasmuchasI do.”
Inodded,wonderingforthemillionthtimewhatwaswrongwithmethatofallthemenintheworldIhadtochoose someoneIcouldn’tfullybewith.SomeonewhoIkepttomyselflikeadirtylittlesecret.Couldthatinsometwistedwaybe partofhisappeal?
No,therewasmoretoitthanthat,whetherIwantedtoadmitthetruthornot.
“Whoareyouvisitingtoday,MissSutten?”OfficerRizzoasked,grabbingmylittleblackfakeleatherhandbag,tossing ittothewoodentable,andunceremoniouslyemptyingthecontents I’dbeenthroughthisprocedurebefore atleastthepurse partanyhow soInevercarriedanythingotherthanmywalletandafewoddnecessitieswhenIcametoseeCole Itwasto avoidthepain-in-the-asstaskofgatheringupmybelongingswhentheofficerswerefinishedpawingthroughallofmythings.
“ColeLincoln,”Ireplied,unbuttoningthelastofthebuttonsonmyblackcottonblouseandslippingitoffmyslim, ivoryshoulderstorevealmybreastscontainedinaCcupblacklacebra
OfficerRizzostoppedflippingthroughmywallettostareintomyeyesforamomentandthenclickedhertongueagainst theroofofhermouth.“Aww,Cole.Yes,Iknowwhoheis.Triplehomicideisn’tit?”Amockingsmilespreadacrossherlips. “Knownhimlong,haveyou?Gotathingforthereallybadones?”
Annoyanceoverrodemyembarrassment Iwasstressedenough;Ididn’tneedshitfromherrightnow Ijustwantedto getonwithitsoIcouldfinallybewithhim.Wasthattoomuchtoask?
Brushingalong,goldenstrandofhairfrommyface,Iplantedmyhandsonmyhipsandglaredattheotherwoman.“Just soyouhaveyourinformationcorrect,itwasmanslaughterandtwomen,notthree Colewasavictimofcircumstanceandwas simplydefendinghimself”
InsteadofreprimandingmeforthecorrectionOfficerRizzomerelysmiledasifamused.“Thatwhathetoldyou?None ofthemeninhereare really guilty”Shemadeairquotesassheunashamedlyrolledhereyesatme “TheprisonsofAmerica arejustoverrunwithinnocentmen,whoareall victims ofcircumstance.”
Iwasn’tgoingtolethergoadme.Ididn’tknowwhatshewastryingtoachievebygettingundermyskin,butwhatever itwasIrefusedtoallowhertofindareasontodenymyvisitation.“No,it’swhatIlearnedfromreadingthenewspaper accountsofthecase,butmoreimportantlyfromreadingthetranscriptofhistrial I’mnotjustsomefoolishwoman”
“Sohowlonghaveyouknownhim?”Sherepeatedherquestionasshetossedmybelongingsbackintomybag. “Sixmonths.”
OfficerRizzohuffed “Howdidyoumeethim?Hasn’thebeenhereforafewyearsnow?ServingoutadimeifIrecall correctly”
Heatbegantoburnmycheeks.IfIwasgoingtohaveanychanceofhavingarelationshipwithhim,Ineededtoswallow downtheshamethatcamewithhowwemet.“Imethimonline.”Butdamn,didIeverhatetoadmitit.Maybewithtime…
Nakedexceptformybraandmatchingblacklacethong,Icouldn’tresisttheurgetocrossmyarmsovermychest,as thoughtoprotectmyselffromtheridiculeandscrutinycomingfromtheotherwoman.Whywasshemakingthisprocessso hard?Shemustknowhowhumiliatingandtoughitwastobeinmysituation.Itfeltunnecessarilycruel.
Instead,thecorrectionofficer’sfeaturessoftenedandshesighed.“SpreadyourarmsstraightoutsoIcanensureyou don’thaveanycontrabandonyourperson Thenyoucanproceedon”
Closingmyeyes,Ireluctantlydidastold,wonderingandhopingthatwhatIwasenduringwouldbeworthit.Iwasso closetohavingsomeprivatetimewithColeandfeelinghisbodyagainstmine.
WhatifOfficerRizzodecidedIcouldn’tproceedanddeniedourtime?Ifeltmyanxietyoverthesituationbegintorise alloveragain
OfficerRizzobegantopatmedownasIheldmybreath,standingperfectlystill.“You’renottheonlyyoungwoman whohascomethroughhereaftermeetingoneofthesemenonlineandyouwon’tbethelast,Iguaranteethatmuch.”Oncedone withmyhumiliatingexaminationofvirtuallyeverycreviceofmybody,shestraightenedbackup,standingbeforeme “Youcan getdressednow.”
“Thankyou,”IwhisperedasIquicklygrabbedmyclothingfromthefloor afadedpairofbluejeansandablack blouse.
“ButI’dliketogiveyousomeadvice,honey”
Pullingonmyjeans,Ilookedup,mywearyblueeyesmeetingtheotherwoman’snowsympatheticchocolate-brown ones.
“Meninherehavenothingbuttime Theymayseemlikethey’retheperfectmen:attentive,sincere,andappreciativeof whatyoudoforthem Buthere’sthething,oncethey’rebackonthestreet ”Shepausedforamomentandfrowned “Well, let’sjustsaymeninherechangeoutsidethesewalls.Ifyouhaveanyfairy-taledreamsofhimoutsideofthisplace,youmight wanttothinkagain.”
ThesmileIgaveherwasweakatbest,andmyheartsankjustalittlebit Ididn’tlikebeinghitwithwhatcouldbethe brutalreality.Nottoday.NotwhenIwasabouttogetabriefmomentoffantasy.“Thanksfortheheadsup.”
“Justsayingisall.Nowletmetakeyoutoyourman.He’llbeanxioustoseeyou,nodoubt.”Sheshrugged.“They alwaysare.”
Fasteningthelastbuttononmyblouse,IslungmyhandbagovermyshoulderandfollowedOfficerRizzooutofthe roomanddownaseriesofdrabanddrearycorridors.Ididn’tmissthenumberofcondescendinglooksbeingshotatmeby severalofthemaleguards.Despitethenegativity,Irefusedtoletthemruinmydayorlessentheexcitementthatwasbuilding withinmeattheprospectofseeinghimandholdinghim andbeingheldbyhim WitheachstepItooktowardhim,my excitementgrew
Westoppedatadoorwitharedsignlabelingitastheexitdoor.Withafinallookoverhershoulderatme,Officer Rizzoopenedthedoorandusheredmethrough Thedoorledtoasmallcourtyardwheretherewerehalfadozensmalltrailers linedup.
“Thisoneoverhere.Numberfour.”Shestoppedhalfwaybetweenthetrailerandwherewehadexitedandpivoted around,acuriouslookonherface.“Ihavetoaskyouonemorething.”
Fuck Soclose yetsofaritseemed
Reluctantly,InoddedasIchewednervouslyatmybottomlip.“Allright.Whatdoyouwanttoknow?”
“Why?”
“Why?”Iparroted,slightlyconfused
“Yes,whygetinvolvedwithaninmate?You’reanattractivewoman Whynotfindyourselfagood,successfulman whoisn’tinhere?”Shehuffed,jerkingherthumbtowardthejail.“Itnevermakessensetome.I’veworkedhereforyearsand itstillmakesnosensetome.Maybeyoucanbetheonewhomakesmeseethelightonthesubject.”
IsighedasIthrustmyhandsintomybackpockets “Myfatherwasincarcerated Hesaiditwastheloneliesttimeinhis life.Aftertenyearshewasfinallyreleasedonparole.Iwasateenagerandhefoundthatlifehadmovedonwithouthim.Buthe stillhadmymother.Shewaitedforhim.”Ishruggedandgavetheofficeraweaksmile.“Colewasinasimilarsituation,but nowhehasme.Everyoneinhislifehasturnedtheirbacksonhim.ButIwon’t.I’veknownhimlongenoughandlearnedenough abouthimtoknowthathe’sworththewaitandtheeffort”
OfficerRizzowasquietforamomentandherfeaturessoftenedslightly.Finallyshenodded,althoughbythelookinher expression,shewasn’tconvinced.ShethoughtIwasjustanotherfoolishgirl.MaybeshethoughtthatsinceIgrewupwithouta dadformuchofmylifeIhadsomesortofdaddyissue Maybeshewasright Ididn’tcaretodigintoit,scaredofwhatthetruth mayendupbeing
“Fairenough.Comeon,”shesaid,motioningformetofollowher. Iwasledtothefirsttrailerwhichhadtwoarmedguardsstandingattheentrance.
“ThisisMissSutten”Shenoddedtowardme “She’sheretoseeprisonerLincoln”
Bothguardseyedme,buttheolderandstockierofthetwodidn’tseemshyaboutscrutinizingme.Hisblatantleeringat mybreastsmademefeelmoreuncomfortablethansomedrunkguyatthebarevercould.
“He’sinthereandwaiting,”theyoungerguardreplied,andthendirectedhisattentiontowardme.“You’vegotthree hours Tenminutesbeforeyourtimeisupwe’llyellawarning,whichmeansstopwhatyou’redoing ”Thestockierguard’s snickeringinterruptedhispartner.“Wrapitupandleavethetrailersowecanretrievetheprisoner.Understood?”
Inodded,“Understood.”
Thiswasit Ithadbeennearlysixmonths,butthemomentwasfinallyhere
Chapter2 Cole AsIsatonthesinglebedofthesmall,dingytrailerwaitingtoseeifshewouldactuallyshowupornot,therewasan anxietywithinmethatIhadn’tfeltinavery,verylongtime perhapsfromthedayIbeganthegruelingprocessofNavySEAL training.Thatwasadefinitestressfultimeforme.OritmighthavebeenthefirsttimeIhadapersoninthesightsofmysniper riflejustbeforepullingthetriggerandtheredmistthatimmediatelyafterseemedtofloatintheairaroundthemark.
Thosemomentshauntme
Butthiswasadifferenttypeofanxiety.
Myeyesscannedtheroomforwhatfeltlikethemillionthtime.Theroomwasnothingmorethanabedwithatable,a coupleofchairs,andasmallbathroom Theyhadgivenussomefreshlinensforthebed,soatleastitwasclean,buttherewas stillastenchofsexanddisinfectantinthelittleroomthatwasslightlynauseating
TheguardshadsuppliedmewithahandfulofcondomswhichIhadshovedinthebackpocketsofmywell-wornjeans justincase.Iwon’tsugarcoatit;Ifullyintendedtousethemtoday.Ifuckinghopedanyhow.Evenself-gratificationwashard toachievewheninthishellhole ButIvowedtomyselfthatIwouldn’tpushher
SinceI’dbeenconvicted,myfamilyandfriendshadmoreorlessdisappeared.Theycamearoundthefirstyearofmy sentence,butnow,nearlyfiveyearsintomyten-yearsentence,visitorswerevirtuallynonexistent.Myoneandonlylightinthis drearygodforsakenplacewasBreanna.
Forthepastsixmonths,she’dshownmenothingbutloyaltyanddevotion,adevotionIhadn’texperiencedeverinmy lifetime.Eachandeveryweek noexceptions she’dshowup.
AsmiletouchedmylipsandmydicksprangtolifeasIenvisionedherduringherlastvisittoseeme.Hergoldenhair hadshoneunderthefluorescentlightsoverheadandthesimplebluesundressshe’dwornhadmatchedtheroyalblueofher eyestoperfection
EachnightIwouldcallhercollect asperprisonregulations andwe’dspendmyallocatedtenminutesonthephone withher.Afterourconversation,I’dspendanotherhourwritingherletters,whichImailedeverymorningwithoutfail.This particularvisitwasaspecialfavorgrantedtomebythewardenandIwasimmenselygratefultohimforit Therewasnoprice tagonmyspecialfavor yet butonethingyoulearnquicklyinprisonwasthatnothinggoodcamewithoutstringsattached.
BreannawaswhatmademylifeworthlivingatthemomentandIcherishedeverythingabouther,fromherbeauty she wasastunningwoman,asclosetoperfectionasIcouldenvision toherkindnessandquickwit.Shewastheperfectwoman andIthankedaGodIreallydidn’tbelieveineachdaythatIhadherinmylife
Allofthatwaswhatmademefeelsonervoustoday.Therestofmystayandthequalityofmylifewhilehereall dependedontodayandwhathappened.
Itwasgoingtogowell Ithadto
Ifshegotcoldfeetanddidn’tshowup,I’dbecrushedinawayI’dneverbeenbefore.Ihadtokeeppositive.Shewas goingtoshowup;Ihadtobelieveshewouldandcouldn’tallowmyselftoentertaintheideathatshewouldn’t.
ThesoundofvoicesoutsidehadmyheartracingasIfoughttheurgetogetupandwalkovertothedoor Instead,Ikept myselfseatedontheedgeofthebed,myelbowsbracedonmyknees,handsclaspedasIwatchedthewindowlessdoor.
Afteracoupleofminutes,thevoicesdiedoffandthesoundofthedoorbeingunlockedbroughtmetofullattention. Thiswasit!Thenextfiveyearshunginthebalanceofthesecomingthreehours.Momentslaterthedoorswungopenand Breannacautiouslysteppedupintothetrailer,worryetchedintoherbeautifulface
Withherfullyinside,thedoorwasquicklyclosedandlockedbehindher,makingherflinchbeforehereyesliftedto lookintomineandthenquicklylookedaway
Slowlystanding,Isilentlywatchedhereyesscanthecontentsofthesmalltrailerandawaveofshamewashedover me.Thiswasn’twhereI’dhavepreferredourfirsttimetobe,butitwasthebestIcouldofferher.Herbodyappearedstill,but Icouldn’thelpbutnoticeherhandsgraspingherlittlehandbagshookeversoslightly.Slowly,cautiously,asifIweretokeep fromstartlingawildanimal,Iclosedthedistancebetweenus Thiswasnodoubtscaryforherandduetothat,IknewthatI neededtohandlehercautiously.Withlessthantwofeetseparatingus,hereyesfinallymetmygrayones.
“Th-theytoldmew-wehavethreehours.”Aslightsmiletouchedherpink-paintedglossylips,whichwasallthe motivationthatIneeded QuicklyIclosedtheremainingdistancebetweenus,pullinghertighttome,mylargeframepractically eclipsingher
Herbodyfrozeinmyarmsforamoment,asherlittlehandbagslippedfromherfingersandfelltothefloor.
Fuck,I’dmovedtooquickly.Shewasn’treadyformetoadvanceonherlikethat.
Sheremainedstillforaninstantandthenseemedtorelax,wrappingherarmsaroundmeandburyingherfaceinmy neck.
Shefeltandsmelledlikefuckingheaven.TentimesbetterthanI’ddreamed.Fuck,onehundredtimeseven.Thiswas alreadythegreatestdayI’dhadinaslongasIcouldremember.
Itookadeepbreathin,takingintheintoxicatingscentofpeachesasIinhaled Damn,shesmelledgood sofreshand clean,sowonderfullyfeminine.Inaplacelikethis,shesmelledlikefreedom.Sweet,sweetfreedom.
I’dgoneoverfiveyearswithoutthefeelofasoft,beautifulwomaninmyarms;soevenifallshepermittedustodo todaywasallowmetoholdherclose,herlushbreastspressedtightlyagainstmyT-shirtcladchest,thenI’dgobacktomycell ahappyman
“YouhavenoideahowmuchI’velookedforwardtothisday.I’vebeencountingthehourssinceweweregiventhe approval,”Imurmuredintoherhair.Mydickwasgrowingatanalarmingrate,strainingagainstthedenimcontainingit.
Pullingawayfromme,thoughstillkeepingthepalmsofherhandsrestingonmychest,shelookedupintomyeyesand nibblednervouslyatherbottomlip.Mygazewasautomaticallydrawntothoselips,whichshoneinthedimfluorescenceofthe overheadlight.
Wastheglossonherlipsflavored?
Iwasdyingtofindout
Shereachedupandcaressedthelineofmyjaw,whichboreaslightstubble.Thefeelofhersofthandsentachill throughme,increasingthefirewithin.Alight,nervouslaughpassedherlipsandshedippedhereyestoscantheexpanseofmy chestandshoulders DuetoallmyyearsintheNavyandthenintheSEALs,I’dbeeninpeakphysicalshapebeforegoingto prison However,inprisontherewasn’tmuchtodo,soIspentasmuchtimeaspossibleinthegymworkingout Astrong, muscularbodywastheresult.
“I’malittlenervous,”shefinallyadmitted,castinghergazedownwardandrefusingtolookintomyeyes.
So am I,Isilentlytoldher
Pullingherintightagainstmeoncemore,Iplacedatenderkissonhertempleandstrokedherhair,whichfellhalfway downherback.Eventhefeelofhersilkenlocksastheypassedthroughmyfingerswasturningmeon.
Fuck, keep control of yourself, Lincoln,Iscoldedmyself.Ifthingsgottothepointofbeingphysical,thenthelastthing Iwantedwastoendupbeingathirty-secondwonder
“There’snoneedtobe.”Ireleasedalow,deepchuckle.“Ifanyoneshouldbenervousitshouldbeme.Thisisthefirst timeI’veheldawomaninoverfiveyears.”
Whenshedidn’trespond,Icuppedherchininmyhandandforcedhereyestomeetmine Ineededhertoseemy sincerity “Nothingwillhappenunlessyouwantittohappen IsweartoyouI’mhappiernowjustholdingyouthanI’vebeen
sinceIwasputinhere.Hell,longerthanthat,even.Sothere’snothingtobenervousabout,andIdon’texpectanythingother thanyourcompanyforthenextthreehours Whatwedoordon’tdoiscompletelyuptoyou Thishasalreadybeenthebestday I’vehadinavery,verylongtime.”AndImeantit.
Whenshedidn’trespondrightaway,Icaressedhersoftcheekwithmythumb,causinghertoinhalesharply.Shehadthe cutestheart-shapedface.Shewassofuckingperfect.
“Okay?”Iprompted,concernedaboutherfailuretorespond
Chapter3 Breanna
Ireleasedanunsteadybreathandnodded.I’dbuiltthismomentupinmymindforsolongthatnowthatitwasfinally here,Iwasataloss
Onethingwasforsure.Havinghisarmsaroundmemademykneesweak.Themanwasamazinglysexy;thehardlines ofmusclestrainedunderthecottonshirt.WhileIknewthesweet,sensitivesideofhim,therewasanunderlyingbadboyedge tohimthatwasexhilarating,yetintimidating.Ormaybeitwasthisplace,thislittletrailerthattoldmethathewasn’tgoodfor me Whyelsewouldhebeinaplacelikethisifhedidn’tbelonghere?
Hewasthekindofmanyourmotherwarnedyouabout,butyoucouldn’twaittohoponthebackofamotorcyclewith. Buttherewassomuchmoretohim.Ifhiswordsweregenuine,andIfelttheyindeedwere,thenhewasthetypeofmanwomen fellhardforandultimatelygothurtbyintheprocess Notduetohimbeingdishonest,butduetothemfallingforthedreamand jumpingbeforelookingfirst
KindalikeIwasdoingnow?
Maybe.
HepulledmebackintohimagainsthiswarmbodyandIsighed
TheinitialtimidnessthathadbeenplaguingmewhenIfirstenteredthetrailerfadedawayasthelongingI’dbeen feelingforhimoverthepastmonthstookover.Dammit,Iwantedhimworsethananyonebefore.
Hewasasecret.Forbidden.Andallmine.Atleastforthenextfewhours.
Iranmyhandsacrosshischestandshoulders,feelingthebeautifulhardanddefinedmuscleundertheprison-issue cottonT-shirt.Iwantedtosaysomething,butwordsseemedtobeatalossforme.
“Everythingandanythingthathappenshereisuptoyou.I’dneverpushyou,”hereiterated.Hisvoiceandwordswere soothing,likesatinrunningovermyfleshandcausinggoosebumps
Lookingbackintohiseyesitwaseasytodeterminethathewasindeedtellingthetruthand damn diditeverturnmeon, causingmypussytoclenchwithanticipation.
Pressingmybodyupagainsthim,Ighostedmylipsacrosshis.“Iwantthis,”Iwhisperedagainsthismouth.Damn,I don’tthinkI’deverwantedanythingworse
Hisresponsetookmebysurprise,sendingathrillingshiverdownmyspine.Pullingmeeventighteragainsthim,his eagercockpressedagainstmystomach.Hislipscamecrashingdownontomine,claimingmewithanurgencythatI’dnever feltfromanyonebefore.Whenhistongueslippedbetweenmylips,Iletoutasoftmoanasourtonguesmetandbegantoduel.
Cole’skisswasfilledwithsuchintense hungerandpassionthatitseemedasthoughthelastsliverofmymind’scontrol overthesituationgavewaytomybody.Ourbodiestookover,myhipsrubbingagainstthehardridgeofhiscockthroughthe layersofclothing.MyhandsslippedupandunderthebackofhisT-shirttofeelthecontoursofmuscle.
Hefeltsogood,sohard;everyinchofhisbody,muscledandrigid,waspressingagainstme Hishandsslippedtomy ass,cuppingmyasscheeksinhispalmsandpullingmygrointighteragainsthishardenedshaft
Imoanedagainsthislipsagainasfreshwavesofpleasurecrashedthroughme,endingwithanintensepulsingbetween mylegs.Mypantieswerebecomingincreasinglyanduncomfortablywetasthedesirewithinmerose.
Howwemanagedtomakeitacrossthesmallroomwithoutmerealizingweweremovingisbeyondme ButsuddenlyI wasfallingbackwardontothebed,hislargeframecollapsingoverme.Hecaughthisweightwithahandoneithersideofmy headtopreventhimselffromcrushingmewithhismassiveframe.Hiseyeslockedontomine,theintensityofhisgazesendinga shiverthroughmeastheworldaroundusmomentarilystoodstill.FistingthebackofhisT-shirt,Iattemptedtogaincontrol overmyself
My Lord, do I ever need this man!
Itwasthrilling,yetasscaryashell Hecouldhurtme notphysicallyofcourse Butifthisweretohappen,Icouldbe hurtworsethanI’deverbeenhurtbefore.Couldmyhearthandleit?Diditmatter?
“YouhavenoideahowmuchI’vedreamedoftouchingandkissingyoursweetlips.Everyday,everynight.You’reallI thinkabout,Bre,”hewhispered,ashebentdownandtrailedalineofkissesupmyneckfrommycollarbonetomyearlobe.
Iwaslosingmymindfromthecombinationofhiswordsandtheteasingfeelofhislipsandtongueonmysensitive flesh.HotburstsofdesireshotthroughmeandIcriedout,closingmyeyesandclutchingtightertohisshirt.
Iwasvaguelyawarethateverymoan,everyscream,everyloudwordcouldbeheardbytheguardsoutside,butfuck it Itdidn’tmatteratthismoment Infact,insomemessed-up,twistedwayitmademeevenwetterthinkingaboutthemen outsidegettinghardjusthearingmewithCole
“Saythewordandwestop,”hewhisperedinmyear,nippingatmylobe.
Ibarelyhadasecondtoreplyaweak,“Uh-huh,”beforehismouthwascoveringmineonceagain.Stop?WhywouldI stop?WhywouldIeverwantthistoend?I’dneverbeensoaroused,orsodesperatetoseeandfeelamannakedovermein mytwenty-sixyears.
Maybeitwasthethreemonthsofknowinghim,fallingforhim,andknowingIcouldn’thavehiminthiswaythatfueled mydesireandurgentneedtohavehiminmewithsuchurgency.Ididn’tknowthereasonanddidn’tcare.
Grabbingthebottomofhisshirt,Istruggledtopullitup Takingthehint,hesatupbetweenmylegsandpulledthe troublesomeshirtupoverhishead,tossingitontothetablenexttothebed.Hebegantolowerhimselfbackdownoverme,but Istoppedhim,pressingapalmtohischest.
“Iwanttoseeyou” Coledidn’tsayawordbutsimplystayedwherehewasonhisknees,betweenmylegs,hischestheavingheavilyand thelargeoutlineofhiscockstrainingagainsthisjeans.Hisbodywasrightoutofafitnessmagazine,definedabs,leantorso, broadchest,andpowerful,muscularshouldersandarmsthatwereeasilythesizeofmythigh.Damn.Betweenthebeautyofhis bodyandhisstrongjaw,highcheekbones,andpiercinggrayeyes,helookedathousandtimesbetterthananymalecover model.
Thelightinginthetrailerwasdim,despiteitbeingthemiddleoftheday,butIcouldstillseethenumerousscarsthat litteredhisuppertorso.Iwastemptedtoaskaboutthescars,butdecidedtoleavethosequestionsforabettertime.
Iranmyfingersalongthelinesofhisabs,whichcausedalow,deepgrowltoescapehislips LookingupIsawan intense,feralhungerinhiseyesastheysurveyedmybody.Anothershiverofanticipationshotthroughme.
Runningahandthroughhisshort,sandyblondhair,hereleasedapent-upbreathinanattempttocalmhimself.“Justso youknow Ihavecondoms,ifyouwantto well andI’vebeentested,wearerequiredtobeto ”Whenaslightcoysmile touchedmylips,hestoppedhisramblingandlaughed “Andyoualreadyknowallthis ”
Hisnecktookonaslightpinktintthatgraduallymoveduptohisfaceandmademegiggle.Thiswholesituationwasso damnedsexy,uncomfortable,arousing,andexcitingallatthesametime.Ifeltamillionemotionsrushingthroughmeatonce, makingitthemostintensefeelingI’deverexperienced
Sittingup,Iplacedakissonhisstomachasheslippedmyopenshirtoffofmyshouldersandletitslidetothebed behindme.Ipaused,takingadeepbreathinandslowlyreleasingit,attemptingtocalmthefireblazingwithinme.Thenhe begantoundohisjeans,freeinghisthick,erectcock.Itwasmonstrouslyhuge,withadollopofcumseepingoutoftheslitatthe tip Ifoughttheurgetotakehiscockintomymouth,suckingitdry
Notnow.Notyet.
Hookingmythumbsintothebeltloopsofhisjeans,Ituggedthemdownoverhiships.Thebriefshewaswearing quicklyfollowedsuit Cole’sbodytensedupagainstmeashishandsworkedtheirwayintomyhair,whilehegentlyurgedmy lipstohisshaft
Ilickedmylipsinanticipationbeforeflickingmytongueacrosstheslit,lappingupthealreadygatheredcumfromthe tip Hemoanedsoftly,hishandsfistingmyhairgivingitalittletug Flickingthetiponcemore,Ithencircledmytonguearound thethickhead,beforerunningitalongtheundersideofhiscock,fromhisballstothetip,circlingtheheadasecondtime.
“Damnthat’sfuckingtorture,”Colegroaned.“Don’tfuckingstop.”
AsItookthetipofhiscockinmymouthIlookedup,myblueeyescatchinghisdesire-filledgrayones.Iheldhisgazea momentbeforesinkinghiscockintomymouthuntilthetipreachedthebackofmythroat Hegroanedalittlelouderthistime, hishipslightlythrustingagainstmymouthasIbeganasteadyrhythm,hishipsrockingtomeetmymouth.
Ireacheddownandgraspedhisballsinthepalmofmyhand,massagingandtuggingatthemgentlyasmylipscontinued totorturehisshaft
“Ican’trememberfeelinganythingsogood,”hegasped,hishandstighteninginmyhairashishipsbegantothrustwith slightlymoreforce.IfIwasn’tstillwearingmyjeansI’dhaveslippedmyhandbetweenmylegsandbeguntostrokemyself. ButIcouldn’t.Iwasforcedtoendurethefirethatwasburninginmypussywhichwasdrivingmetonearinsanity,mybody demandinghiscock
WithmyfreehandIbegantostokethebaseofhiscockintimewithmymouth’supanddownmovements.Hisdickand ballsbecamerocksolid.Sensinghisimpendingrelease,Iincreasedmyefforts.
“Ifyoudon’tstopsoon,I’mgoingtoendupcominginyourmouth,honey,”hewarned,hisvoicebreakingashespoke. Closingmyeyes,Imoaned,anxioustotastehimandfeelhisexplosivereleasepummelthebackofmythroatand tongue.
Takingmymoanasaninvitation,hetookcontrol,fuckingmymouthinearnest,hiscockandballssolidandthrobbing momentsbeforehisreleasemetmygreedymouth,hiscumsurgingfromhisdicktopummelagainstthebackofmythroat I moanedagain,quicklydrinkingdowneverylastdrop,asifitwerethefinestwine
“OhGod,Bre,”Colegroaned,sittingbackonhisheelsoncemore.Hookinghisindexfingerundermychin,hetiltedmy faceupsomyeyesmethisandthenloweredhislipstomine,kissingmesotenderlyandwithsomuchaffectionthatitleftme lightheaded “Ihavenowords I ”
Whenhepulledhismouthbackfrommine,Ilookedupathimwithacoysmileonmylips.“MaybeI’llfindout.”
“Afterthat,youcanhaveanythingyouwant,”heteasedasheslidoffthebedandstrippedofftheremainderofhis clothingandsetitonthetablewithhisT-shirt.Iwatchedeverymovementhemadeintently.
AsColecamebackovertothesmallbedandstretchedoutonhissidebesideme,hepulledmebackintohisarms The nervousnessI’dbeenfeelingwhenIfirstarrivedaboutbeinghereinthisdingytrailerandwithhimhadvanished.Ashiverof anticipationrandownmyspineashiseyesdrankineveryexposedinchofmybody.
“I’dliketoseeallofyou,baby,”hefinallysaid,hiseyescatchingmine “Ineedtoseeeveryinchofyou”
Ashiverofanticipationracedthroughmeoncemore,causingmybodytoslightlytremble Colefrowned.“Areyoucold?There’sablanketin…”
Iplacedahandonthesideofhisfaceandurgedhislipstomine.“Idon’tneedablanket,”Iwhisperedagainsthislips. “Ineedyou”
“OhBreanna,”hegrowled,claimingmylips,pushingmebackagainstthebed,hisfingerstrailingdownmystomach untiltheyreachedthebuttonofmyjeans.Whenhehesitated,Igraspedhissemi-hardcockandgaveitseveralfastandhard jerks;itquicklyturnedsolidandreadyforasecondround.
Thatseemedtobealltheencouragementheneeded Hisfingersundidthebuttonandunzippedmyjeans,pushingthem downpastmyhips.Withinsecond,myjeanswereoffandIlaynaked,exceptformyblacklacebraandmatchingthong,which wasdrenchedwithmyneed.
“YouhavenoideahowmanytimesI’vemasturbatedwhilethinkingofyou,Cole,”Iadmitted Generally,Iwouldhave beentooshytohaveadmittedthattothemanIwaswith,butwithColeitseemedtobethemostnaturalthingintheworldto
reveal.Therewassomethingthere,somethingintenseandbeautifulthatIhadahardtimewrappingmyheadaround,butIknew Ineverwantedtoletthatfeelinggo
Colewhippedhiseyesuptopeerintomineashepushedmywetunderweardownmyhipsandoff.Reachingbehind me,heundidtheclaspatthebackofmybraandslippeditfrommyshoulders,revealingmyC-cupbreastswithtaut,pink nipples.
“Masturbateforme,Bre Iwanttowatch,”hewhisperedinmyear,sendingyetanotherchilldownmyspine Iclosed myeyesandmoanedsoftly,asmyfingersmadetheirwaybetweenmylegsandpartedthelipstorevealmymoistpussyand swollenclit.Hecaughtmychininhishandandkissedmelightly.“Openyoureyes.Iwanttoseethelookinthemwhenyou come”
Inodded,chewingatmylowerlip,lookingintohisdesire-filledeyes,pushingbacktheurgetoshyawayfromthe request.
SoftlyIbegantostrokemyclitasColepalmedmybreastinhishand.Hisfingersrolledmynippleintoatightpeak beforeheloweredhismouthtoit,suckinghardandmakingmecryoutasajoltofpleasureshotthroughmecombinedwiththe throbbingbetweenmylegs.Iclungtohisshoulderwithmyfreehand,myFrench-manicuredfingernailsdiggingdeepintohis flesh,buthedidn’tseemtonoticeorcare.
Asthefirewithinmeintensified,IincreasedthepressureandspeedatwhichIstrokedmyself.“Ithoughtyouwantedto lookinmyeyeswhenIcame,”IgaspedasImovedclosertoorgasmandhemovedhismouthtocapturetheotherpeak,nipping atthebud.
“Oh,Ido,”heassuredmewithadeep,throatychuckle.
“Oh,God!”Igroaned,sinkingtwofingersdeepintomypussy “Ineedyourcockinme,Cole”
Withafinalflickofhistongueovermynipple,hismouthgrazedmineagain,thenhelookeddeepintomyeyes He slippedhishandbetweenmylegs,pushingasidemyhandsohecouldcupmymoundhimself.“Youwill.Asmanytimesasyou wantit,baby.”
“ThengiveittomenowCole,please!”
Withoutanotherword,hepositionedhimselfbetweenmylegs,runningthetipofhiscockbackandforthalongthe lengthofmyslit.Hepressedhiscockattheentranceofmycore,thenpaused.“Icanjust…”
Ididn’tlethimfinish.Iwrappedmylegsaroundhiswaistandheldtighttohim.“Ihaveitcovered;pleasefuckme, Cole”
Withasexygrinthatcouldmakeanywomanfalltotheirknees,hereplied,“You’retheboss.”Withoneforcefulthrust, heplungedhisdickintome,fillingmecompletely,hismassiveshaftstretchingmetomylimits.
Iscreamedout,whichgainedtheattentionoftheguardsoutsideandaknocksoundedonthedoor Neitheroneofus seemedtocareasColebeganthrustingintome,fillingmetothehilt
“Iseverythingallrightinthere,MissSutten?”oneoftheofficersinquired.
Oh, shit!Generally,Iwouldhavediedfromembarrassment,butthefeelofhimpoundingintomedidn’tallowmea momenttobecomeembarrassedasitbroughtmequicklytothebrink,momentsawayfromexplodingoverhiscock “Answerorwe’recomingin,”theofficerwarned.
“Fine,I’mfine,”Isomehowmanagedtoassurethemthroughmygaspsandmoans.Myfingersclungtohisback,my fingernailsleavingdeep,angryredscratchesacrosshisflesh.AsIcame,mypussyclenchedaroundhisshaftinanorgasmthat wasmoreintensethananythingI’dexperiencedbefore,leavingmepantingandfeelinglightheaded “Dammit,thatfeltsogood,baby.”
Hesuddenlyswitchedpositions,sittingbackonhisheelsandtakingmewithhim.Withhiscockstillburieddeepinside ofme,heplacedmylegsoverhisshouldersandwithmyrearsuspendedintheair,resumedhisdick’sassaultonmyquivering pussy
Iwatchedashislong,thickrodrammeddeepintome,disappearingtotheballstoreappearshiningwithmyjuices coatingit Overandoverhepunishedmewithhisdick Slippingahandbetweenmylegs,Ipartedmyfoldscompletelyand restartedmymasturbationeffortswhilehefuckedmeintooblivion.
“You’resofuckingtight;it’ssofuckinggood.”Hecontinuedpummelingme,punishingme,rekindlingthefirethathad beenragingwithinmebeforetheorgasm.MyplumpbreastsjiggledwiththeforceofhisthrustsasIgrippedtheironheadboard tightlytosteadymyself
“Comewithme,honey,”hecoaxed,slowingthespeedofhisthrustsslightly.
“Almostthere,”Igasped,increasingmyeffortsonmyclit.Withthecombinationofhiscock,whichwasstrokingmy innerwalls,andmyhandonmyclit,Irapidlyascendedtowardclimax “Coming,”Iscreamedoutjustasthefloodgatesburst open
AsIcriedout,hegavemeseveral,faster,harderthrustsandgruntedasheunloadedwithinme,hiscummixingwithmy juices.Asmypussyvibratedfrommyorgasm,itmilkedhiscockofeverylastsweetdropofhisseed.
Myheartwasbeatingsorapidlythatitfeltasthoughitwasgoingtoexplodethroughmychest I’dnevercomesohard inmylifeasIhadwithhiscockburieddeepintome.Mygazeshifteduptomeethisandhegavemealazy,satisfiedsmile, beforeplacingalightkissonmyinnerthighandthengentlyloweringmylegstothemattress.AsIlayspread-eagledonthe bed,hestretchedoutalongsidemeandranahandthroughmyhair,watchingthestrandscatchthelightastheyslowlyfellfrom hisfingertips
Chapter4 Cole Glancingoveratthebasicanalogclockmountedonthewall,dreadrushedthroughme.Anhourhadgonebyalready. TherewassomuchIwantedtosaywhileIhadhertherecuddlednexttome Therewasamountainofinformationwehadyet toshare,yetneverenoughtimetoshareit.Iknewalotabouther,fromherfavoriteflavoroficecreamtothenameofher childhoodpets inorder.ButIwantedtodivedeeperintowhatmadeherwhoshewas.Thedeeptypeofsharingthatcould onlyreallybedonefacetofaceandlookingintoeachother’seyes.Itseemedliketwohoursjustwasn’tgoingtobeenough. Andforthelifeofme,IhadnoideawheretoevenstarttogetoutallIwantedtosaytoher
“What’swrong,Cole?”sheasked,turningtohersideandfacingme.Withherfingertips,shebegantracingthecontours ofmusclethroughmychestandshoulders.Herbrightblueeyeslookedupatme,afrowncreasingherprettyfeatures.
Iranmyhandthroughhergoldenhairandwatchedthestrandsastheyslowlyslippedthroughmyfingers Sosoftand silky Suchbeautyinaplacefilledwithugliness MygazecaughthersoncemoreandIsighed “Iknowweusuallydon’ttalk aboutwhyIwasputinhere.Iknowyou’vereadthetranscriptsandthenewspaperarticlesonit,butIthinkIneedtotellyou myownaccount.”Whensheopenedhermouthtoprotest,Ileanedoverandkissedherlightly,effectivelysilencingher.
“Please”
Shenodded.
Clearingmythroat,Ibegan,“IhadjustgottenmyhonorabledischargepapersfromtheNavyandIhadstoppedbya localbartohavesomecelebratorydrinksbeforecatchingabusthenextmorningtoNashville,wheremyfamilylivedand currentlydoes asfarasIknow It’sbeenalongtimesinceI’vespokentothemsoit’shardtosay Anyhow,Iwasamixof emotionsthatnight.Gladtobedoneandyettherewasapartofmethatfearedbeingbackintherealworld.It’shardtoexplain andIdon’texpectyoutounderstand.Ireallydidn’thaveanyreal-lifeadultexperienceintherealworld.Ifthatmakesany sense”
Shenoddedagain
“IwaswaitingforsomebuddiestoshowupforonelastnightofdrinksbeforeIwasonmyway.WhoknewwhenI’d seethemagain ifever.Iwasdrinkingprettyheavily,tooheavilyifIwerebeinghonestwithyou,andthesetwomen approachedme IguessIresembledsomemanthey’dbeenlookingfor Theguyowedthemmoneyorsomething Istilldon’t knowtothisdayforsure.”
Shenoddedbutdidn’tinterruptasshecontinuedtorunherfingertipsalongmychest.RollingovertomybackIpulled heroverwithme,holdinghertighttomysideandplacingakissonherforehead.
“Theystartedhoundingme,mouthingoff,justtalkingnonsense Ididn’tpaymuchattentiontowhattheyweresaying I wantednoneofit.Ijustthoughttheywereacoupleofdrunkfucks.Finally,Idecidedtoleave.Ireallydidn’twantanytrouble, Ijustwantedtoenjoyagoodtime,y’know?Butitwasmorethanthat.Therewassomethinginsideofmethatwasachingto lashout Yearsoftraining?Pent-upanger?Whoknowsreally?IjustknowIneededoutoftherebeforeIlostmypatienceandit escalated ToldthebartenderthatiftheboysshowedupafterIlefttotellthemtomeetmeatadifferentbarafewblocks away.”
Breannanodded.“Igetthat.Makessense.”
“So,Ipaidformydrink,stood,andmademywaytotheexit,buttheyfollowed Theydidn’tsayordoanything,just followedme.”
Memoriesofthatnightbegantofloodtheforefrontofmymind.Othermemoriesjoinedthem,ofmytimewhenIwas trainedthatifgiventhecommandlifewasconsideredexpendable.Grueling,mind-fuckkindofmemories.Fuck,IwishedthatI couldjustburythemforever
Ifellsilentforamomentinthought,blanklypeeringupatthedingyoff-whiteceilingwithitspeelingpaint.Iwantedto ensurethatthedetailsItoldherwereasaccurateasIcouldrememberthem Eventhoughtheincidentchangedmylife dramatically,ithadhappenedoverfiveyearsago.Admittedly,Ihadbeensomewhatintoxicatedatthetime.DespiteallthatI didrememberthedetailsfairlywell asthoughithadhappenedmuchmorerecently.Thelong,drawn-outtrialhadalottodo withthataswell.IsometimeswonderedhowmuchIrememberedmyselfandhowmuchhadbeenhand-fedsecondhand informationfromthetrialthathadfilledinthegapsinmymemoryofthatnight
“SoImadeittotheparkinglotandwaslookingtoseeiftherewasacabavailable.Theotherbarwasn’tfarawaybutI feltacabwouldgivemetheseparationIneededfromthem.Asluckwouldhaveittherewasn’tatthatmoment.Iwasaboutto gobackinandcallsomeonewhenthefirstonepunchedme lowerback Fuckingbroughtmetomyknees,mostlybecauseI wasn’texpectingit Iwas,butIwasn’t”Ilookedoveratheragain “YouknowwhatImean?”
Shenoddedbutremainedsilent,snugglingtightertome,drapingabarelegovermythighsandplacingherheadonher hands,overmychest,hereyesgluedtomine.
“Thingsgetalittlehazyatthispointinmyrecollection Ijustseemedtolosecontrol”Therewerealotofbad memories,memoriesIwantedtokeeplockedawaythatcamerushingback.“Iknockedthefirstone’slegsfromunderhimand ashewasonthegroundIlandedapunchtohisneck.IknowIwasintendingtohithisjaw,butthealcoholmessedwithmyaim, Iguess.Ilaterfoundoutthepunchhadcrushedhiswindpipe.Hewasdeadbeforetheambulancearrived.
“Theothermancameatmefrombehindandputaknifetomyneck Ibroughtmyelbowbackandcaughthiminthe stomachafewtimes,untilheletgo.Ishouldhavestoppedthere,butIdidn’t.Iwastoocaughtupinthemoment.Itackledhim tothegroundandstartedbeatinghim.Icouldn’tseemtostopmyself,Iwasinsomesortofrage-fueledPTSDfrenzy.Hewas pleadingwithme,tellingmetostop,butIdidn’t Atleastthat’swhattheeyewitnessaccountssay Bloodwaseverywhere,all overme,alloverhim,andIjustcontinuedtobeatonhim,hishead,neck,face Justcouldn’tstop ItwaslikeIwaspossessed Ittooktwopoliceofficersandatasertopullmeoff.”
Shamewashedoverme.Thefirstman,Icould almost livewithmyselfover.Almost.Accidentshappen.Butthesecond man,IknewIshouldhavestoppedbutIdidn’t Ihadn’tbeenstrongenough Ithadhauntedmeeverydayofmylife Thosetwo menalongwithalltheotherfaceswhodiedasaresultofmytakingordershauntmetothisday.Therapywashelping,butI suspectedI’dbeneedingtherapyfortherestofmylifetosortouthowfuckedIwasinthehead atleastitfeltthatwayat times.
Thedayswerebad,butthenights ThenightswereinfestedwithdreamssobadthatI’dwakeupinacoldsweat screaming.Ididn’tsharethatwithher.Maybeoneday,butcertainlynottonight.
Sheplacedasweetkissonmychest,pullingmefrommythoughts.“Itwasn’tyourfault.Youwereassaulted.Youdid whatyouneededtodo”
Withashakeofmyhead,Ilookeddownather “Nah,itwasexcessiveuseofforcebyatrainedkiller Thesecondman especially.IlostcontrolandIdeservetobeinhere.IdeservethosetenyearsIwasgiven fuck,IsometimesthinkIdeserve more.IfIdogetparolednextmonthlikeweexpect,I’llbestartingmylifeoveratthirty-five.I’mlosingfiveyearsofmylife, maybetenifIdon’tgetparoled,butthey’redeadforever ”
“Theybroughtitonthemselves.Youdidwhatyouhadtodo,Cole.”
Igrimaced.“Thenwhydon’tIdon’tfeelthatway?Iwasstrongerthanthem.Bettertrained.Fightingandkillingiswhat I’dspenttheprevioustenyearsdoing.Evenwithmeintoxicated,theydidn’tstandachance,Bre.Theysimplydidn’t.”
Breannaclungtightertome,buryingherfaceintomyneck “Becauseyou’reagoodman,withaconscience Youmade amistakeandyou’repayingforthatmistakenow.”
Ipulledawayfromherslightly,caughtherchininmyhandandbroughthereyestomine,“I’mnotagoodman.I’mnot. I’msureashellnotgoodenoughforyouandIknowit,butyou’rethelightthatkeepsmegoingthrougheachday Ilivetohear yourvoiceandtoseeyourbeautifulfaceonceaweek Ilive foryou SoI’mgoingtobeselfishandtakewhatyouwillgiveto
meofyourselfandbegratefuleverymomentyou’reatmyside.”
HavingsaidwhatIneededto,Ifellsilent,runningmyhandsthroughherhair Again,Iwatchedasthesilkenstrandsfell throughmyfingers.Itookinadeepbreathandexhaledloudly,thenaskedthequestionthathadbeenplaguingmeforthepast fewweeks.“Withsomanygreateligiblementochoosefrom,whydoyouevenbotherwithacon?”Ilaughedbutitwasa hollowlaugh,whichseemedtoechothroughthesmalltrailer.ThenIstaredintentlyather.“Whydevoteyourtimetoamanthat issimplynogoodforyou?”
Breanna
Iblinkedbackthetearsthatwerebeginningtoform.ThiswashardlytheconversationIwasexpectingtohavewithhim today.Smalltalkperhaps,butcertainlynotthisheavyconversation.“Well,Itoldyouaboutmyfather...”
Coleshookhishead,“No,therearetonsofwomenwithrelativesinprison Andofallthemeninprison,whydidyou logontothatwebsiteforcons?Whyselecttheprofileofamaninforadoublecountofhomicide?”
“Manslaughter,”Icorrectedhim.
SuddenlyIfeltachillandshiveredagainsthim.Thechillwaspartlyduetothetemperature,butmostlyduetothesecret thatI’dbeenhidingfromhim Ihadn’tmeanttohideanythingfromhim;I’dmeanttobeup-frontandhonestaboutwhoIwas andwhyI’dchosenhim,butaswegottoknoweachotherandourconnectiondeepened,IrealizedIwasbeginningtofallin lovewithhim.Andthatleftmeinamajorpickle.Ifearedthatthetruthwouldruineverything,soI’dkeptthereasonwhyitwas him whyithad tobehim tomyself.
“Shit,you’recold I’msorry,letmegrabthatblanket”Colepulledhimselffromourembrace,slidfromthebed,and walkedovertothetablewherethethickgrayfleeceblanketwassitting.Snatchinguptheblanket,hehurriedbacktome.Lying backdownhepulledmetighttohim,coveringournakedbodieswiththeblanket.
Ihadtotellhim Itwasn’tfairnotto Ourrelationshipwasalreadyplaguedwithproblemsandobstaclestoovercome Dishonestlycouldn’tbeaddedtothelistofissueswehad
Aslongashisparolehearingwentsmoothlyandeveryoneassumedthatitwould he’dbeenamodelprisonerthepast fiveyears he’dbereleasedandwewereexpectingtostartanormallifetogetherinalittleoveramonth.Hehadtoknow whoIwas
Ijust…
Dammit.
ThelastthingIwantedtodowasruinthemoment.
Butnowseemedlikeitwasthetimetotellhim Icouldn’tletthecharadelastanylonger
“Cole,Ineedtotellyousomething,”Istarted,chewingnervouslyatmylowerlip.Icouldhearthehesitationinmytone anditmademecringe.
WhatifIlosthim?Icouldn’tbearthethought Colefrowned “What’swrong?”
“Pleasedon’tbeangry...er...atleastpleasehearmeout.”Tearsfilledmyeyes,threateningtoescape.“Promisemethat much?”
Hisbodytensednexttomine,causingmetocringeandmyfrowndeepen.
“Tellmewhat’sgoingon,”hepressed “Ididn’tjustrandomlypickyou,Cole.”
Hisbrowfurrowedashestaredatmemoreintently.“Whatdoyoumean?”
MyheartfeltlikeitwasabouttoexplodefrommychestasIgatheredthenervetotellhimthecompletetruth.
Shiftingpositionssothatmyheadwasproppeduponmyhand,Iattemptedtoavoidhisgaze,buthewasn’thavingit Cuppingmycheekinhishand,heforcedmetokeepmyeyesfocusedonhis.
“Thesecondguythatattackedyou...”
“Yeah,CarsonWhitmore Whatabouthim?”
Takingadeepbreathin,Iexhaledloudly,decidingtojustblurtitoutandletthechipsfallastheymay “Iwasengaged tohim.”
Cole’sbodytensedbesidemeashisexpressionturnedblankbeforemyeyes.Hesaidnothing,didnothing,juststaredat measifI’dgrownasecondheadorsomething
I’ddroppedabombonhim.Thiswasprobablytheworsttimetohaveconfessedtohim.Ishouldhaveconfessedwell beforenow.Iwasapieceofshitandacoward.Ijust…
Panickedthathissilencemeantlosinghim,Ibeganrambling,layingitalloutforhiminonelongwordsaladthatbarely madeanysensetomeletalonehim “Hewasahorridman youhavenoideahowhorriblehewas Hewasamonster,Cole He’dhurtandkilledsomanypeople...somany...Hewasn’ttheupstandingcitizenhe’dbeenportrayedtobe.” Silence.
“Hewasn’tthatwayatfirst,mindyou I’dmethimfreshoutofhighschool Iwasyoungandfoolishandhewas charmingandmademefeelsospecial Thenitchanged Ittooksomeyears,buthechanged Hefoundanewgroupoffriends Theywereintoawholelotofshit.Whenhestartedusinghebecamehatefulandangryallthetime.OhGod,Idon’tknow.I just...”
Itookadeepbreath,attemptingtocontrolthefloodofemotionsthreateningtoescapeifIletthem,beforecontinuing “NeverinmylifedidIthinkI’dendupinarelationshipliketheoneIwasinwithhim.ItwasthetypeofrelationshipthatI wouldwarnfriendstosteerclearof,yetthereIwasfullyintoit.Drowninginiteven.”
“Isee.”Hisexpressionremainedblank.Fuck,IwishIknewwhatwasgoingthroughhishead.I’dgonethroughthe possibleoutcomesofthisconversationinmymindamilliontimes Noneofthemweregood
“WhenIcametomysenses,Iwantedoutandawayfromhim.WhenIgotupthenervetotellhimthatitwasover, everythingexploded.AlookI’dneverseenbeforecameoverhim.It’shardtoexplain.”Ishudderedasthememoriesofthat nightcamebacktome Thepain Somanylevelsofpaincamefromthatnight “Hejust losthismind OrmaybeIwas seeingtherealhim,thehimthathe’dbeenhiding Ormaybeitwasthedrugs Hebeatme,callingmeawhoreandtellingmehe wasgoingtokillthefuckerthatI’dbeenfuckingbehindhisback.WhenIlostconsciousness,hetookoffbeforethepolice showedup.Atleastthat’swhatI’vebeentold.”
Tearswereflowingfreelynow Isniffedandwipedmyeyeswiththebackofmyhand
Coleremainedquiet,buthepulledmetighttohim,andItookcomfortinthestrengthofhiswarmbodynexttomine. Clingingtohim,andthroughsniffles,Ifinishedmystory.“Heandhisbuddydidn’tattackyouformoney;theyattackedyou becauseyoulookedlikeamantheythoughtIwascheatingonhimwith.ThemanwasacookattherestaurantIwasawaitress at Carsoncouldn’tacceptthatIjustdidn’twanthimandthathewastheproblem Heneededtopasstheblametosomeone,so hesawyouandthoughtyouweremyco-worker.Hecalledmeatthehospital,tellingmehewastakingcareofthefuckerthatI wasscrewing,and...well...youknowtherestbetterthanIdo.”
Colefrowned “ButIdon’tunderstand therewasnomentionofafiancéeatthetrial Thismakesnosense Whydidn’t thatinformationcomeup?”
IshookmyheadbutkeptmyfaceburiedagainstCole’sshoulder.“Iwastooscaredtocomeforward.IpretendedI knewnothingaboutit You’reinjailbecauseofme IfIhadhadthecouragetotestifyaboutwhatIknew,youprobably wouldn’tbehere.”Iliftedmytear-stainedeyestomeethis.“I’msosorry,Cole.So,sosorry.Iruinedyourlife.Iamjust…” Myshouldersshookasthesobsovertookmeoncemore.“AllIwantedwasforittobeoverwith.Irefusedtotellthepolice anythingsonochargeswerefiled. If I’dpressedcharges. If I’dcomeforwardthenhe’dneverhavebeentherethatnightand youwouldn’tbehererightnow”
Thereweresomanyifswiththissituationthathauntedme.
Chapter5 Cole Ireleasedaloudpuffofbreath.Mymindwasracing;neverwouldIhaveeverexpectedanythinglikethis.HowIwas understandingitwasthatshewassayingshewaswithmebecauseofherguilt?Shesoughtmeoutandwaswithmebecauseof guilt?Ihadnoideahowtoeventakethisrevelation.ApartofmeknewthatIshouldbeangrywithheroverthis.Hell,onone levelIwasfuckingfurious.Thereweresomanythingsshe’ddonewronginthissituation.Wouldithavechangedanything though?Thatwasthethingthatwastrippingmeupandkeepingtheangeratbay.Whethershecameforwardornotwas irrelevant I’dbeenconvictedofmanslaughter,notmurder Istillwouldhavebeenconvicted Herblamingherselfformebeing herewasunnecessarywhentheoutcomewouldhavebeenthesameregardless.
Maybethis.Maybethat.Therewasalotofwould’vecould’veshould’veinlife.Shehadnowayofknowinghowit wouldallend Noneofusdid
TheonethingthatirkedmethemostwasthatI’dspentcountlesshourstormentedaboutwhatI’ddonetobecomea targetforthemjusttofindoutthisinformation.Theyintendedtokillme.I’dbeenconsumedwithguiltforsomethingthathad beencompletelyoutofmycontrol.
Shecouldhavetoldmefromthebeginning Byallrights,sheshouldhave Dammit.
Iranashakyhandthroughmyshortblondhair,tryingtoremaincalmandthinkaboutthisrationally.
Beinginthisplace,Ididn’thavetheluxuryofstormingoutofthetrailerandtellingherIneededtogetabeerandwe’d discussitwhenIcalmeddown Tellinghertoleavecouldmeanhernevercomingback Ihadtohandlethisdelicately Shelied.AndIdamnedwellhadarighttobeupset.Butwhenitcamerightdowntoit,Isimplydidn’thaveitinmeto beangryoverwhathappenedinthepast.Regardlessofthisnewinformation,thefirstandforemostquestiononmymindwas wheredidwegofromhere?
Thepastwasthepast;Ineededtoknowwhatthefutureheld,forme,andforusnow Thisbusinessofherandtheex andmebeingherebecauseofitcouldbesortedoutanothertime.Ineededtothinkforthefuture,notliveinthepast.
“I’msosorry,Cole,youdon’tknowhow…”
Hereyeswereredandswollenfromthetearswhichhadleftblackstreaksfromhermakeupdownhercheeks There wasenoughsufferingoverthis.ThefuturewaswhatwasimportantandI’dbedamnedifI’dallowthistofuckupthevisionI washopingforthefuture.Myvisionforthefuturewaswhatkeptmegoinginthishellholemostofthetime.
Slippingmyhandaroundherneck,Ibroughtherlipsdowntomine.Mylipsghostedhers,andInippedatherlowerlip. Whenasoftmoanescapedherlips,Ithrustmytonguepastherteethandintohermouth Shemoanedlouder,kissingmeback, matchingmypassion.
Mybodycamealive,andallthatIcouldthinkaboutwasslidingdeepintoher.ButIstillhadn’tgottenmyanswer,soI pulledmylipsfromhers,despiteherprotest,andlookedintentlyather
“I’velearnedalotoverthepastfiveyearshere,andoneofthemostimportantthingsisthatthepastisthepast I’mnot goingtoblameoraccuseorgetangryoveranythingthatmayormaynothavebeenyourfault.Theendresultisthesame.I killedtwomen,andIwasgivenasentence;nothingisgoingtochangethat.Nothingyoucouldhavedoneorsaidwouldhave changedthat ButthereissomethingveryimportantthatIneedtoknow”
Hersadeyespeeredupintomine,anditnearlybrokemyheart.Ididn’twanttoseehercarryingguiltoverwhathad happened.AsfarasIwasconcerned,shewasasmuchavictimofcircumstanceasIwas;Ineededhertoseethat.Itjuststung thatshefeltshecouldn’thavetoldmethetruthaboutwhyshesoughtmeout.Whycouldn’tshehavetrustedmewiththat information?
Ishookmyhead.Irefusedtogodownthatroad.Itwasover.We’restartingfresh.Period.Partofbeingincarcerated anddoingtimewassothatwhenyouwerereleasedyoucouldstartfresh Thisnewinformationwasn’tgoingtochangethat I wouldn’tallowit.
“YouunderstandIdon’tblameyou?”Iasked. Shenodded.Shedidn’tlookconvinced.
“So,noguilt,promisemethat?”
Again,shenodded.Herexpressionseemedtobrightenjustasmidge.Good.I’dtakeit. Takingadeepbreathin,IslowlyreleaseditasIformulatedhowIwasgoingtowordwhatIsaidnext.“Ineedtoask yousomething,somethingextremelyimportanttome SomethingIneedtoknow” “Allright”
Sheattemptedaweaksmile,whichIappreciated.“Bre,areyouherebecauseofyourguilt,orareyouherewithme becauseyourheartwantsyoutobe?”InearlycringedatthecornywayI’daskedthequestion,butIneededtobeclearonthat score;Ididn’twanttheretobeanyconfusion Infortherightreasonsornotinitatall
God,Ihopeditwasfortherightreasons.LosingtheonelightIhadinmylifecurrentlywouldfuckingkillme.
Breanna HiswordshadhelpedrelievesomeofthestressandanxietyI’dbeenharboringsinceI’dfirstbeguntalkingtohim.I wassomewhatsurprisedthathe’dtakenthenewsaswellashehad,butIwasnonethelessrelieved.Therewassomethingtobe saidaboutnotlookingagifthorseinthemouth
IchewedatmybottomlipasIlookeddeepintohisgrayeyes.Beautifulgrayeyesthatvisitedmydreamseachand everynightsinceI’dfirstmadecontactwithhim.Reachingdown,Iranmyhanddownthelengthofhisarm,themuscleflexing undermytouch WelaythereinsilenceasItookamomenttosweepmygazealongthebeautifulbodythatI’dthoughtabout eachnightwhenImasturbated
Itdidn’ttakeageniustoknowwhyhewasaskingthatquestion.HewasfearfulIwashereoutofguilt,oraspenance forthewrongI’dfeltIhaddonetohim.Anddespitehisreassurance,Idon’tknowifthatguiltwouldeverfullygoaway.But thatwasn’tthecase,andIneededtomakesureheknewthatandwouldn’thaveasliverofdoubtwhenIleftthatitwasthe truth.
Dammit,thiswholesituationwashard.OrmaybeIwasjustmakingitharderthanitneededtobe?
IhadtobesocarefulonhowIwordedthis.Iwishedthisweredifferentandwehadmoretimetosortthisout.Thefact thatwewereinatimecrunchdidn’thelpthematter
“WhenIfirststartedspeakingtoyouandseeingyou,itwasaboutmyguiltyconscience.”Hisexpressionimmediately darkened.Reachingouttohim,Itouchedmyhandtohischeek,andcaressedtheslightstubble.
Icontinued,“Thathasn’tbeenthecaseforalongtimenow EverythingI’vesaidtoyouwastrue;youmeaneverything tome WhileItrackedyoudownoutofguilt,I’mherenowbecauseofthebondwe’veformed YouarethemanIneedinmy lifeandevenifyourparoleisn’tissuednextmonth,I’llcontinuecominghereeachweek,speakingwithyoueachnight,and anxiouslyawaitingyourletterseverydayuntilyou’refree.”Ilaughed.“Imeanhowmanygirlscansaytheygetloveletters
fromtheirboyfriendseveryday?”
Thetensioninhisexpressionseemedtodim,butitwasstillthere Ineededtojustputitoutthereandletthechipsfall astheymay.Isurvivedalotinmylife,andwhileitwouldcrushme,Ineededtobebraveevenifarejectionwasinmyfuture.
Pushinghimbackagainstthemattress,Istraddledhiswaistandlaidmybodyoverhis,relishingthefeelofhiserect cockbetweenmylegs,andhishardbodyundermine.
“I’minlovewithyou,Cole That’swhyI’mhereandwhyI’llalwaysbehereforyou”
IsworeforthespanofseveralbeatstheroomwassoquietIcouldhearthesoundoftheguardsoutsidethetrailer playinggamesontheirmobilephones.
Thestonyexpressionhe’dbeenwearingbrokeasahintofasmileformedonhislips Iyelpedashequicklyflippedme ontomyback,bracinghisbodyabovemine,settlinghimselfbetweenmylegsashislipscamecrashingdownonminewitha renewedpassion.Imoanedunderhismouth,myhandswrappingaroundhisbackandclingingtohisshoulders,pullinghim downclosertome.
Mypussycameignitedwithmydesire,achingforhim Ashecontinuedkissingme,histongueforcingmineinto submission,hishandslippedbetweenusandcuppedmymound.Ibuckedviolentlyagainsthishand,needingsomethinginme andnow!Hand,cock,tongue,Ididn’tcare,butmybodyneededit demandedit now.
Hisfingerspartedmypussylipsandstrokedthelengthofmyslit,beginningatmyanusandslippingtomyclit.Over andover
“Fuck,sowet.Sobeautiful,”hegroanedagainstmymouth.
“Please!”Icriedoutbeforehislipscamecrashingdownontomineagain.
Historturousfingerscontinued,slidingalongthelengthofmyopening,butnotgivingmethepleasureoffillingme I grippedtightertohisshoulders,mynailsdiggingintothetannedflesh Afterthefifthswipeofmyslit,hefocusedonmyclit, pinchingtheswollen,sensitivenub.
“OhGod!”Igasped,whenheliftedhismouthfrommineandbeganworkinghiswaydownmyneckinamixtureof licksandkissesandnibblesthatsentashockwavedownmyspine “Fuckmeplease,Cole God,please”
Colechuckledasherolledmyclitbetweenhisfingers.“You’llgetitsoonenough.”Hismouthprogressedtomybreasts andhequicklycapturedahardenednipplebetweenhisteeth.
“Cole!”Icriedoutasjoltsofelectricpleasurecontinuedtoshootthroughmybody,intensifyingtheneedbetweenmy legs Theneedwassointensethatmywarmjuicesbegantoseepfrommypussyanddownmythighsandass Aknockcameatthedoor. Fuck!“MissSutten,iseverythingokayinthere?”theguardasked.
The fucker knows it’s all okay in here,Isilentlycursedhisinterruption.
“Everythingisfine We’refine,”Icalledback Iwouldhavebetmoneythatheandhispervertedpartnerwereoutside thedoorwiththeirearspressedupagainstit,gettingoffonlisteningtomymoans Itriedtopullthethoughtofthemfrommy mind,whichwaseasilyaccomplishedasCole’smouthfinishedthetortureonmybreastsandbegantoworkitswaylower, overmytorsoandstomach.
NolongerhavingCole’shardbodytoclingto,Ireachedupandbehindme,fistingthelinenunderme Thetension withinmewassostrongthatbythetimehismouthmadeittomynewlyshavenmound,IthoughtIwasgoingtoexplodejust fromtheanticipationofhismouthonmewherehisfingershadjustbeenplaying.
ColestoppedforaminuteandIgroanedmyfrustration.Why?Whywashesowickedinhistorture?OpeningmyeyesI lookeddown,lovingtheviewofhisheadbetweenmylegs,hiseyesdrinkinginthesightofmymoistpussy
“Sosoft,Iloveit,Breanna,”hewhispered,grazinghisfingertipsovermymound,whichI’densuredwasperfectlysoft andsmooth inanticipationfortoday.
Proppingmyselfuponmyelbows,Ismiled “It’sjustforyou”
Slippingtwofingersbetweenmyfolds,Colepartedmylipswide,exposingmyclitandtheentrancetomyheated,
needycoretohim.Heslippedtwofingersdeepintomeandbeganstrokingmyinnerwall,hittingjusttherightspottomakeme gaspandthenmoanloudly Tooloudly MybreathhitchedasIanticipatedanotherknockonthedoor,buttomyreliefnone came.
Closingmyeyesagain,Ilaybackontothehard,lumpymattress,tighteningmygriponthelinenunderme.Hisexpert strokingwasbringingmerapidlytomyclimax,soclosethatIcouldbarelybreathe.Hismouthjoinedhisfingersinhistorment ofmypussy,histongueflickingandcirclingmyhardclit Shiversrusheddownmyspine,andIwrithedonthebed,desperate forrelease.
Ashislipsclosedovermyclitandsuckedlightly,Iexplodedoverhishand.Myjuicesdrenchedhisfingersandran downthebackofhishandleavingaslightshimmerintheirwake
“Damn,honey!”Heslippedmylegsoverhisshouldersandslidoffthebedtokneelonthefloor BeforeIevenhada chancetorelaxandenjoymyorgasm,histonguereplacedhishandasheburiedhisfacebetweenmylegs.Histonguedarted intome,workingashewouldhiscock,dartinginandout,thrusting.
Thefirewithinmequicklyreignited Thesoundsofhimashelappedupmyjuicesweredrivingmenearlyinsanewith need.
“PleaseCole,Ineedyourdick.Please…”Ibegged,buthewasrelentless.
“Comeformeoncemoreandyoucanhavewhatyouwant,”hemurmuredagainstmymound.
Igroanedinfrustration Eventhevibrationsofhiswordsagainstmythrobbing,moistpussyincreasedthefirewithinme toalmostunbearableheights.Histonguefeltsogood,butIwantedmore, needed more.
Mygroinbuckedwildlyagainsthismouth.Iwasmomentsawayfrombeingovertakenbyyetanotherorgasm.Mybody tensed,mypussyclenchingaroundhisinsistenttongueuntilIexplodedintohismouth Ihadtoclampmyjawtighttokeepfrom cryingouthisnameandsummoninganotherintrusiveknockfromtheguardsoutside
HegreedilylappedupmyjuicesasIlayspentonthemattress,pantinghardandbaskinginthefeelofhistongueover myheatedflesh.Whenhewassatisfiedthathe’dgotteneverylastdropofme,Coleslidmylegsoffhisshouldersandclimbed backontothenarrowbedwithme,holdingmeclose
Despiteexperiencingback-to-backorgasms,lookingoveratColeandfeelinghisheatedbodyandhardcockagainstme hadmelongingformoreofhim.Pushinghimontohisback,Istraddledhiships.
“Nowwillyoufuckme?”Iasked,givinghimacoysmileandflippingmyhairovermyshouldersohecouldgetagood viewofmybreasts
Reachingup,hishandspalmedmytits,kneadingthefleshandpinchingmynipplesbackintohardenedpeaks.Moaning softly,myheadfellback,causingmygoldenhairtocascadedowntomylowerbackandlightlygrazehisthighs.
Graspinghiscockinmyhand,Ibeganstrokinghimwhileslippingtheheadbackandforthbetweenmyheatedandeager pussylips ItwasCole’sturntogroan,louderthanIhad,butsurprisinglyenoughtheguardsdidn’tseemtooconcernedabout him.Noknockcame.
“Tellmehowmuchyouwantit,”Idemanded,liftingmyheadbackuptopeerdownathim.Itwasmyturntoteaseand torment,andIintendedtotakeadvantageofeverysecondofit
“I’vewantedyousincethefirstdayyoucametoseeme.”
“Mmmm,”Ilickedmylowerlip,keepingmygazelockedontohis.“And...”
“AndIcameeverynightimagininghowgoodandhowtightyourlittlepussywasgoingtofeelwhenIhadthechanceto experienceit”
Ilovedthatanswer.Placinghiscockatmyentrance,Itookinthehead.Itookhimin,forjustaninstantIpulledhim backoutandcontinuedwiththetorment,slippingitbackandforthbetweenmypussylips.Ifullyintendedtomakehimsufferas hehadme
“MyGod,that’storture,honey,”hegrowled,hishandsleavingmybreastsandgrippingmyhips,attemptingtoimpale
meonhiscock.
“Sowhenyougetout,howoftenareyougoingtofuckme?” Colechuckled.“Anywhere,anytime,foraslongasyouwant.”
Ismiled.“Goodanswer.”WithoutanotherwordIslammedmyselfdownontohiscock,takinghiminfully,andthen wiggledmyhips,takingtheremainingtinypartofaninch.
“That’sperfect,takeitallinandrideme Ridemycock,honey,”heurged,hishandsonmyhipssettingthepaceofmy thrusts.
Rockingonhim,IbeganrotatingmyhipsincircularmotionsasImovedupanddownonhismassivecock.EachtimeI moveduponhim,Iwouldpullalmostcompletelyoutbeforeslammingbackdownontohim,creatingafaintslappingnoise My breastsjiggledandbouncedfromthevigorousmotions
HiscockfitsoperfectlyinsidemethatIwouldswearitwasmeantespeciallyforme.Witheachupanddownmotion, hiscockrubbedmyinnerwalls,bringingmecloserandclosertoyetanotherorgasm.Thewavesofpleasurethatcamerushing throughmewerebecomingsointensethatIbegantofeellightheaded,butIdidn’tstop Couldn’tstop Hisgroansurgedmeto keepgoing.
“Dammit,that’sgood,Bre.Sogood,”hemoaned,hishandstighteningonmyhips,forcingmedowntighterandtighter. “I’msoclose!”
“Good”Hehadbarelygottenthewordoutwhenhisbodytensedagainstme,hisdickthickening Hisseedshotdeep intomycore;pummelingmyinnerwallswasenoughtosendmespiralingovertheedgewithhim.
“Fuccck!”Icriedoutasmypussyclenchedtightlytohiscockandthenreleased,floodingitwithmyjuices.Completely spent,mysmallerframecollapsedoverhis
Cole,alsostillreeling,circledhisarmsaroundmywaistandpulledmetightlytohim AsIsnuggleduptohim,content inhisarms,hebroughtmebacktofullattentionthesecondhespoke.“Bre,I’mfallinginlovewithyou,”heconfessed. Timeseemedtostop,andIgavemyheadalittleshake.HadIjustimaginedwithI’dheard?I’dfelthurtwhenhehadn’t reciprocatedmyproclamationearlier,butit’sbeenarockyroadforusandIwantedhisfeelingstobegenuine,notjustto appeaseme.
MyheartbegantoraceasIlookedupandintohiseyes.I’dneverhavethoughtfallingforsomeoneinthismanner wouldbepossible.Hell,afterIwasleftfordeadbymyex-fiancé,I’dseriouslydoubtedI’deverfallinlovewithanyman everagain ButhereIwasinabeat-upoldtrailer,whichstankofsexandmold,cuddledinthearmsofthemantowhomIfeltI owedmylife,andfallingdeeplyinlove.No,scratchthat.Therewasnodoubtaboutit;Iwasinlovewiththemanwhokilled myex.
“Thatmakesmyheartfeelsogoodtohear YouknowIfeelthesameway”Iloweredmylipstohisbutwasinterrupted bythesoundIwasdreading:aloudbangonthedoorofthetrailer
Angryandfrustratedthattheguardswouldn’tjustmindtheirownbusinessandleaveusalonefortheshortthreehours wehadtogether,IwasabouttoyellforatleastthethirdtimesinceI’darrivedthatIwasfinewhenItooknoticeoftheclockon thewallandgasped
Colefollowedmylineofsighttotheclockandfrowned.“Wehavetohurryandgetdressed.Iheartheyaren’tshyabout cominginwhenthetimeisupandwehavelessthantenminutes.”
Shit!Howdidthreehoursgobysoquickly?Withadepressedsigh,IslidoffCole.Alreadymissingthefeelofhim closetome,Igottomyfeetandquicklybegandressing Colefollowedsuit Afterdressing,Iglancedattheclockagain;we hadthreeminutesleftbeforetheguardscameafterus.
Onceclothed,Irushedintohisarms,holdingtightlytohimandtryingtoimprintthefeelofhiminmymind.
“It’sonlygoingtobeamonthorso,andthenwecantryourhandatanormallife”Colehookedafingerundermychin andforcedmyeyesuptolookathim “Anormaldate,normalsexwithoutpeoplelisteningatthedoor Justanormalcouple
livingaboringlife.”
Asmilecreptontomyface “IthinkIcouldgrowtolikenormal” “Good,thennormalwe’llbe.”
ThefinalknockthatIhadbeendreadingsounded,followedbytheunlatchingofthelockonthedoor.
Coleleanedoverandkissedmegently.“Soon,”hewhisperedagainstmylipsasthedoorwasflungopen,revealingthe twomaleCOsandOfficerRizzo
“Allrightlovebirds,timeisup.Comeonout,MissSutten.”Theolderheftierofficermotionedwithhishandformeto exitashespoke.“OfficerRizzowillescortyouout.”
“Soon,”IparrotedasIreluctantlysteppedoutofhisembrace,tearsbrimmingmyeyes,andbeganwalkingtowardthe opendoorway
Exitingthetrailer,IsniffedasIforcedmyselfnottoturnbackaroundforfearI’dbegingettingemotionalagain.Instead, IfollowedOfficerRizzobackoutthewaywe’dcome,neitherofusspeakingandmefeelingbothsadanduncomfortable.I mean,whatwouldwehavetotalkabout?AsIreachedtheexit,OfficerRizzobrokethesilence “CanIaskyouaquestion, MissSutten?”
Inodded,hopingshewasn’tgoingtopryorasksomethingthatwouldmakemebreakdowninfrontofher.“I suppose...”
“Isitworthit?Iscominghereeveryweekandsacrificinghavinganormal,realrelationshipwithagoodmantobewith afelonworthit?”
Iwastooemotionallyexhaustedtobeoffendedbythequestion.Lookingtheofficersquareintheeyes,Ididn’thesitate inmyanswer “Withoutadoubt,OfficerRizzo He’s worthit”
Cole
Betweenourfewhourstogetherandtheinformationshedumpedontome,itwasalottoprocess AsifIneededmore onmymindatthemoment.Mymindwasconsumedwiththeparolehearing.AftermytimewithBreannaIwantedevenmore desperatelyforittoworkout.
“Hurryup,”theguardgrowled,givingmeapush “Ihaveshittodo”
Icutmyeyestohimanddidn’tanswer,butIdidincreasemypaceacrossthecourtyardandinthroughthesteeldoors thattookmeintotheheartofthesuckagain.Theguardsandprisonusedavarietyofmethodstokeepusinline,buthavingthe conjugalvisitmademeevenmoreeagertogetoutofhere.I’ddoanythingtomakeithappen.
“She’sahotlittlenumber Probablyhasahalfdozendickslinedupforherontheoutside”
Igrittedmyteeth,refusingtobegoaded.Brianhadawayabouthim.Fuckerlovedtogettheinmatesriledup, especiallywhentheyhadparolehearingscomingup.Hewasn’tgoingtoruinmyparole.
“Didyouhearme?”
“Heardyou,Boss”
“Whatdoyouthinkaboutthat?”
“Nothoughts.”
Hechuckled.
Motherfucker Itwouldgivemeimmensesatisfactiontokicktheshit-eatinggrinoffhissmugface Butnotreactingwas evenworseforhim.Hewantedareasontousethebatonortaseronme.
Notgoingtogetwhathewantedfromme.
Aswepassedthecellstherewerecatcallsandyelledvulgaritiesfromtheotherinmates.Theyallknewwherethedoor ledandwhatcominginfromthatdoormeant Iignoredthem
TheNavyhadtaughtmetoignoregoading,butnothingquitetoughensyouuplikeprison.IsometimeswonderedifI evenhadheartenoughanymoretoallowBreannaintoloveherfully.Iwantedto.
Ijustdidn’tknow Theprisonwasamazeoftwistsandturnsofcagesofmen,butwefinallyreachedmycageonthesecondfloor Openingthedoor,hegavemeapushintothecellandslammedthedoorbehindme.
“Yourboyfriendhasbeenmissingyou.Maybeyoucanlethimlickyourgirl’spussyjuiceoffyourcock?”Hechuckled athiscrudejokeandsaunteredoff
“Dickhead,”Imutteredundermybreathasmycellmatesethisbookasideandsatuponthelowerbunk,lookingupat me.IfeltbadforJamal;hewashereonasecond-degreemurdercharge.Twenty-fiveyears.Ifhe’dbeenwhiteinsteadofa blackinner-citykid,underthecircumstancesthatIknewthem,he’dhavegottententofifteen.Sentencedatthetenderageof nineteen Allofhisyouthwouldbegonebythetimehegotoutbecauseofsomebadchoicesmadeasakid Whenhecameinto thesystemayearagoandbecamemycellmate,Iendedupbecominghisfriendandconfidant,doingmybesttokeephimfrom thewrongcrowds.IworriedforwhatwouldhappentohimwhenIwasgone.I’dvisithimfrequentlyandhopehetookmy guidanceoverthepastyearandusedittogetthoughhistimerelativelyunscathed
IallowedmyselftosmileforthefirsttimesinceBreannaleftmymind,reenactingourtimetogetherandthefeelofher soft,fragrantskinagainstmine.“Amazing.”
“So?”Hisgrinwidenedasherubbedhishandstogether.“Letmehearthedeets.Howwasit?Don’tleaveanything out”
Laughing,Igrabbedtherailingofthetopbunkandswungmyselfup,lyingdownonmybackandlacingmyfingers behindmyhead.“I’mnottellingyoushit,brother.”
“Comeon,man.You’releavinginamonth.Sharethislastdetail.Don’tholdoutonmenow.”Hegotupfromthebunk andstood,turningtofaceme “Wasitincredible?”
Ishrugged.“Itwasokay.”
Hiseyesnarrowedatme.“Man,don’tbelikethat.I’dsharewithyou.”
“Iwouldn’twantyoutosharewithme”
“ButIneedsomethingtojackoffto”
“I’dratheryoudidn’t.Andthat’sreallyweirdmyfriend.”
“Bah.”Wavingadismissivehandatmeheplunkedhimselfbackdownonhisbed.“I’veseenherpictures.Icanmakeit upinmyheadanyhow”
“Disgusting.”
“Bro,andI’mgoingtodoitrightnow.”
“Jesus.”Shakingmyhead,Icouldn’thelpbutchuckle.MybunkmatewasoneofthefewthingsI’dmissaboutthis place Lessthanamonth TherewasnowayIwasgoingtodoanythingtofuckupthisrelease ComehellorhighwaterI’dbe walkingthroughthefrontgatesintothebeautifulandlovingarmsofBreanna.
~1monthlater~
Breanna Asexpected,andtothereliefofbothColeandmyself,Cole’sparolewasgranted.Hislawyershadtoldhimitwasa slamdunk,butonethingwebothknewandhadexperiencedfirsthandinourliveswasthatevenslamdunkscouldhavea wrenchthrownintothem.Evennowwiththeparolegranted,Istillfeltscaredthatsomehoworsomewaytheparoleboard wouldchangetheirmind.Afightwouldbreakoutintheprisonandhe’dendupinthemiddleofit,renderinghisparolenull andvoid Somanythingscouldgowrong IrrationalIknow,butuntilIwasinhisarmsontheothersideofthoseheavily guardedprisongatesIrefusedtogetmyhopestoohigh
Butthatdidn’tmeanthatIwasn’tgoingtobepreparedforhisarrival,andthatmeantshopping.Ididn’thavethemoney tospendfrivolously,especiallywhenIwasgoingtoneedtosupportasecondpersonuntilhegotajob.However,Icouldbuya fewthingstomakeitfeelmoreathomeforhim,includingbuyingsomemen’stoiletriesandstockingthefridgewithsomefoods andbeveragesthatIknewheliked.
AndIwasn’tplanningondoingitalone.
IfhewasgoingtobeasignificantpartofmylifethenIneededtostartlettingpeopleclosetomeknowabouthimand us,whichledmetotheSunsetCafé,acutelittlebreakfastandlunchrestaurant Ihadweeklybreakfastherewithmybestfriend sincegradeschool.Theplanwastohavelunch,spillthetea,begherforgivenessforkeepinghimfromher,andthenhaveher accompanymeshopping.
IjusthopeditallwentwellbecauseifIcouldn’tgetAllisononboard,thenIwasabsolutelyfuckedwhenitcametomy family
Woulditmatterifmyfamilyobjected?
I’dcrossthebridgewhenthetimecame.
Enteringthecafé,IspottedAllisonimmediatelyinthebackcorner,onhermobilephonetextinglikeamadwoman No doubtgettingalittleworkdonewhilewaiting.TherewerealwaystwoconstantswithAllison:herworkasaninsurance adjusteralwayscamefirst,andshealwayshadtoarrivefifteenminutesearlyforanyandeverymeeting.
Sensingmyapproachshelookedup,herdarkeyeslookingintomine.Shegrinnedwhenshenoticedmeapproaching. “Goodmorning,babes!”
Returninghersmile,Igaveheraquickupanddownandlaughed.“Alwayshavingtooutdome,Isee.”Shelooked amazing.Shealwaysdid.Idon’tthinkI’deverseenherleavethehousewithoutafacefullofexpertlyappliedmakeupandher short,darkhairstyledinaperfectlyimperfectpixielook
“Ohplease You’renaturallystunning Ihavetoworkatit”
“You’retookind.”Slippingintothechairoppositeheratthesmalltwo-persontable,Islungmyhandbagonthebackof thechairandgaveabrieflookatthemenueventhoughIalreadyknewwhatIwasgetting.
Oncewefinishedordering,shegavemethelookI’dgetfromherwhenshefeltIwasuptosomething Sheknewmetoo well.
Keepingthissecretfromherhadbeeneatingatmemoreandmorewitheachpassingmonth.
Sittingbackinherchair,shecrossedherarmsoverherchestandwaited.“Sowhat’sthetea?Spillit.”
Takingasipfrommyglassofwater,Itriedtofigureoutthebestwaytostarttellinghereverything Fromthebeginning Isupposed.
“TherehasbeensomethingI’vebeenkeepingfromyou.Fromeveryonehonestly,andIwantedyoutobethefirstto know”