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He’sNoGoodForMe

TerryTowers

TenyearsasaNavySEALfollowedbyfiveyearsinprison...

Butshedoesn’tthinkso...

I’venevermetherface-to-face,butshe’smyshininglight.

ByTerryTowers TemptationCreations

Allrightsreserved Withtheexceptionofbriefquotesusedforcriticalreviewsandarticlesnopartofthisbookmaybe usedorreproducedwithoutthewrittenpermissionoftheauthorTerryTowers.SaintJohn,NewBrunswick,Canada.

Warning:Theunauthorizedreproductionordistributionofthiscopyrightedworkisillegal Nopartofthisbookmaybe scanned,uploadedordistributedviainternetorothermeans,electronicorprintwithouttheauthorspermission Criminal copyrightinfringementwithoutmonetarygainisinvestigatedbytheFBIandispunishablebyupto5yearsinfederalprisonand afineof$250,000.(http://www.fbi.gov.ipr/).Pleasepurchaseonlyauthorizedelectronicorprinteditionsanddonot participateinorencouragetheelectronicpiracyofcopyrightedmaterial

Thisbookisaworkoffiction.Anyresemblancetopersons,livingordead,orplaces,eventsorlocalesispurely coincidental.Thecharactersareproductionsoftheauthorsimaginationandusedfictitiously.

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Chapter1

Breanna

Mynervesweregettingtomeasfear-basedadrenalineshotthroughmybody,urgingmetoturnonmyheelsandgetout ofthereASAP Ishouldjustforgetthisharebrainedideaonceandforall MyhandshookeversoslightlyasIpassedmy identificationcardtotheguardatthefrontdeskoftheSpringMeadowCorrectionalFacility.Thebroad-shoulderedblondman carefullyinspectedmydocumentationandthenbeganinputtingsomethingintothecomputerinfrontofhim.

Oh God, this is such a very bad idea. What am I thinking?

NotasinglepersonclosetomeknewIwasvisitingColeLincolntoday Notmyfamily,notmycoworkers,andnoteven myclosestanddearestoffriends.I’dbeencarefultokeepmyvisitstotheprisonandmyrelationship ifyoucouldcallitthat awell-guardedsecret,mostlybecauseIwasn’tsurewhattheirreactionswouldbe.Idoubtitwouldbegood.Theywouldn’t evenpretendtobeonboardifImentionedtothemthatforthepastsixmonths,foranhouronceaweek,I’dbeenvisitingan inmateI’dnevermetontheoutsideworld

They’dsayIwasinsaneforgoingandtrytopreventit.They’dthinkofeveryreasonformenotcontinuetopursuethis, andthey’dtalkaboutmebehindmybackabouthownaiveandfoolishIwasbeing.TheotherreasonwasthatIwas embarrassedbyhowitcameaboutthatIwascominghereinthefirstplace Mostwomenwhovisitedmenattheprisonwere theirwives,sisters…peoplewhoknewtheprisonerfortheirentirelifetimes.

Butnotme.Nope.Iwasanoutlierallthewayitseems.

MyfamilywouldprobablyberightandmaybeIwasinsane.Consideringmyhistorywithmen,allevidencewould supportthatconclusion

Butnoneofthatmattered,becausetodaywasextraspecialforusasacouple.Colehadrequesteda“familyvisit,” whichmeant frommyunderstanding thatwewerebeinggivenprivacytodowhateverwewantedinasmalltrailer,which, ofcourse,wouldbewell-guarded ThemostphysicalcontactI’dhadwithhimoverthepastsixmonthswastoholdhishandor givehimaquickhug TodaywasthedayI’dbeendaydreamingandmasturbatingaboutforwhatfeltlikeaneternity Iwas goingtofeeleveryinchofhisextremelyoh-so-sexybody,andthethoughtwasbothexhilaratingandterrifyingallatonce.

TheofficeratthefrontdeskclearedhisthroatandwhenIpulledmyselffrommymomentarydaydream,foundhim glaringatme Woulditkillthemtosmileonceinawhile?Itcan’tbethatbadworkinghere Canit?

Asmyeyessweptoverthegray,dingywallsandthefaintsmellofdisinfectanttickledmynose,IdecidedI’dbeen wrong.Itprobablywasthatbad.

“Allright,ma’am,everythingseemstocheckout.Proceedoninthroughthatfirstdoorwhenyouhearthebuzzer,and OfficerRizzowillassistyoufromthere”TheofficergavemeanodandwentbacktowhateverhehadbeendoingbeforeI’d showedupandinterruptedhim.

“Th-Thankyou,”Istuttered,snatchingupmyhandbag,slippingmyidentificationinsideandquicklyproceedingthrough thefirststeeldoor

OncethroughthedoorItooknoticeofaleanLatinawomanwithherdarkhairpulledtightlybackinabunanda

nametagreadingRizzo,sittingatthefirstdeskIcameto.SittingnexttoOfficerRizzowasahusky,baldingmanwiththe nametagidentifyinghimas Cooper

AsIapproached,OfficerRizzostoodandmotionedformetofollowalong.“Haveyoubeenherebefore?”theofficer asked.Shewalkedseveralfeetfromherdesk,pulledoutacardkeyfromherpocket,andunlockedthedoor.Whenthereader blinkedgreensheusheredmeinside,followingaftermeandclosingthedoorbehindus.Theseverityoftheloudbangfromthe doorclosingcausedmetogasp

Ineededtocalmmynerves.Therewasn’tanythingtofear.Itwasaprisonforheaven’ssake.Besides,innocentpeople didn’tactsuspiciously.Iwasactingsupersusrightnowdespiteeverythingbeingontheupandup.

“Umm,yes,”IfinallyansweredasIsurveyedmysurroundings,whichwasasmallwindowlessroomconsistingofa singlewoodentable,withtwochairs,andastoragelockerattheback “ButthisisthefirsttimeI’vebeengrantedafamily visit.”Iletoutanervouschuckle.“It’sgotmeonedge,Iguess.”

OfficerRizzocrossedherarmsoverherchest,herdarkeyesnarrowingatme.“Isee.WouldtherebeareasonIshould knowaboutthatwouldmakeyounervous?”

MyblueeyeswidenedasIshookmyhead.“No,ofcoursenot.”

“Yes,well,theprocedureisalittledifferentwiththesetypesofvisits.I’mgoingtoneedyoutostripdowntoyour undergarments,MissSutten,tocheckforcontraband.AndI’mgoingtoneedtogothroughthecontentsofyourpurse.”

Oh, God!Colehadforewarnedmethatthiswascommonpractice,butnowthatthetimehadcomeithitmethatIhadn’t quitementallypreparedmyselfforwhatwasabouttohappen.Hisassurancessureashelldidn’tmakehavingtostripnaked underthecynicaleyeofthefemaleofficeranylessintimidating.

Closingmyeyes,Itookadeepbreathin,slowlyreleasingitasIopenedmyeyesagain “Okay”Icoulddothis It wasn’tlikeshewasamanabouttogropeeverypartofme Thiswasherjobandshelookedlikeshetookherjobseriously “Now?”

Of course now, you idiot,avoiceatthebackofmymindmocked.

“Yeah,thatwouldbeidealandwouldbeappreciated Wedon’thaveallday I’msureyouwantthisoverasmuchasI do.”

Inodded,wonderingforthemillionthtimewhatwaswrongwithmethatofallthemenintheworldIhadtochoose someoneIcouldn’tfullybewith.SomeonewhoIkepttomyselflikeadirtylittlesecret.Couldthatinsometwistedwaybe partofhisappeal?

No,therewasmoretoitthanthat,whetherIwantedtoadmitthetruthornot.

“Whoareyouvisitingtoday,MissSutten?”OfficerRizzoasked,grabbingmylittleblackfakeleatherhandbag,tossing ittothewoodentable,andunceremoniouslyemptyingthecontents I’dbeenthroughthisprocedurebefore atleastthepurse partanyhow soInevercarriedanythingotherthanmywalletandafewoddnecessitieswhenIcametoseeCole Itwasto avoidthepain-in-the-asstaskofgatheringupmybelongingswhentheofficerswerefinishedpawingthroughallofmythings.

“ColeLincoln,”Ireplied,unbuttoningthelastofthebuttonsonmyblackcottonblouseandslippingitoffmyslim, ivoryshoulderstorevealmybreastscontainedinaCcupblacklacebra

OfficerRizzostoppedflippingthroughmywallettostareintomyeyesforamomentandthenclickedhertongueagainst theroofofhermouth.“Aww,Cole.Yes,Iknowwhoheis.Triplehomicideisn’tit?”Amockingsmilespreadacrossherlips. “Knownhimlong,haveyou?Gotathingforthereallybadones?”

Annoyanceoverrodemyembarrassment Iwasstressedenough;Ididn’tneedshitfromherrightnow Ijustwantedto getonwithitsoIcouldfinallybewithhim.Wasthattoomuchtoask?

Brushingalong,goldenstrandofhairfrommyface,Iplantedmyhandsonmyhipsandglaredattheotherwoman.“Just soyouhaveyourinformationcorrect,itwasmanslaughterandtwomen,notthree Colewasavictimofcircumstanceandwas simplydefendinghimself”

InsteadofreprimandingmeforthecorrectionOfficerRizzomerelysmiledasifamused.“Thatwhathetoldyou?None ofthemeninhereare really guilty”Shemadeairquotesassheunashamedlyrolledhereyesatme “TheprisonsofAmerica arejustoverrunwithinnocentmen,whoareall victims ofcircumstance.”

Iwasn’tgoingtolethergoadme.Ididn’tknowwhatshewastryingtoachievebygettingundermyskin,butwhatever itwasIrefusedtoallowhertofindareasontodenymyvisitation.“No,it’swhatIlearnedfromreadingthenewspaper accountsofthecase,butmoreimportantlyfromreadingthetranscriptofhistrial I’mnotjustsomefoolishwoman”

“Sohowlonghaveyouknownhim?”Sherepeatedherquestionasshetossedmybelongingsbackintomybag. “Sixmonths.”

OfficerRizzohuffed “Howdidyoumeethim?Hasn’thebeenhereforafewyearsnow?ServingoutadimeifIrecall correctly”

Heatbegantoburnmycheeks.IfIwasgoingtohaveanychanceofhavingarelationshipwithhim,Ineededtoswallow downtheshamethatcamewithhowwemet.“Imethimonline.”Butdamn,didIeverhatetoadmitit.Maybewithtime…

Nakedexceptformybraandmatchingblacklacethong,Icouldn’tresisttheurgetocrossmyarmsovermychest,as thoughtoprotectmyselffromtheridiculeandscrutinycomingfromtheotherwoman.Whywasshemakingthisprocessso hard?Shemustknowhowhumiliatingandtoughitwastobeinmysituation.Itfeltunnecessarilycruel.

Instead,thecorrectionofficer’sfeaturessoftenedandshesighed.“SpreadyourarmsstraightoutsoIcanensureyou don’thaveanycontrabandonyourperson Thenyoucanproceedon”

Closingmyeyes,Ireluctantlydidastold,wonderingandhopingthatwhatIwasenduringwouldbeworthit.Iwasso closetohavingsomeprivatetimewithColeandfeelinghisbodyagainstmine.

WhatifOfficerRizzodecidedIcouldn’tproceedanddeniedourtime?Ifeltmyanxietyoverthesituationbegintorise alloveragain

OfficerRizzobegantopatmedownasIheldmybreath,standingperfectlystill.“You’renottheonlyyoungwoman whohascomethroughhereaftermeetingoneofthesemenonlineandyouwon’tbethelast,Iguaranteethatmuch.”Oncedone withmyhumiliatingexaminationofvirtuallyeverycreviceofmybody,shestraightenedbackup,standingbeforeme “Youcan getdressednow.”

“Thankyou,”IwhisperedasIquicklygrabbedmyclothingfromthefloor afadedpairofbluejeansandablack blouse.

“ButI’dliketogiveyousomeadvice,honey”

Pullingonmyjeans,Ilookedup,mywearyblueeyesmeetingtheotherwoman’snowsympatheticchocolate-brown ones.

“Meninherehavenothingbuttime Theymayseemlikethey’retheperfectmen:attentive,sincere,andappreciativeof whatyoudoforthem Buthere’sthething,oncethey’rebackonthestreet ”Shepausedforamomentandfrowned “Well, let’sjustsaymeninherechangeoutsidethesewalls.Ifyouhaveanyfairy-taledreamsofhimoutsideofthisplace,youmight wanttothinkagain.”

ThesmileIgaveherwasweakatbest,andmyheartsankjustalittlebit Ididn’tlikebeinghitwithwhatcouldbethe brutalreality.Nottoday.NotwhenIwasabouttogetabriefmomentoffantasy.“Thanksfortheheadsup.”

“Justsayingisall.Nowletmetakeyoutoyourman.He’llbeanxioustoseeyou,nodoubt.”Sheshrugged.“They alwaysare.”

Fasteningthelastbuttononmyblouse,IslungmyhandbagovermyshoulderandfollowedOfficerRizzooutofthe roomanddownaseriesofdrabanddrearycorridors.Ididn’tmissthenumberofcondescendinglooksbeingshotatmeby severalofthemaleguards.Despitethenegativity,Irefusedtoletthemruinmydayorlessentheexcitementthatwasbuilding withinmeattheprospectofseeinghimandholdinghim andbeingheldbyhim WitheachstepItooktowardhim,my excitementgrew

Westoppedatadoorwitharedsignlabelingitastheexitdoor.Withafinallookoverhershoulderatme,Officer Rizzoopenedthedoorandusheredmethrough Thedoorledtoasmallcourtyardwheretherewerehalfadozensmalltrailers linedup.

“Thisoneoverhere.Numberfour.”Shestoppedhalfwaybetweenthetrailerandwherewehadexitedandpivoted around,acuriouslookonherface.“Ihavetoaskyouonemorething.”

Fuck Soclose yetsofaritseemed

Reluctantly,InoddedasIchewednervouslyatmybottomlip.“Allright.Whatdoyouwanttoknow?”

“Why?”

“Why?”Iparroted,slightlyconfused

“Yes,whygetinvolvedwithaninmate?You’reanattractivewoman Whynotfindyourselfagood,successfulman whoisn’tinhere?”Shehuffed,jerkingherthumbtowardthejail.“Itnevermakessensetome.I’veworkedhereforyearsand itstillmakesnosensetome.Maybeyoucanbetheonewhomakesmeseethelightonthesubject.”

IsighedasIthrustmyhandsintomybackpockets “Myfatherwasincarcerated Hesaiditwastheloneliesttimeinhis life.Aftertenyearshewasfinallyreleasedonparole.Iwasateenagerandhefoundthatlifehadmovedonwithouthim.Buthe stillhadmymother.Shewaitedforhim.”Ishruggedandgavetheofficeraweaksmile.“Colewasinasimilarsituation,but nowhehasme.Everyoneinhislifehasturnedtheirbacksonhim.ButIwon’t.I’veknownhimlongenoughandlearnedenough abouthimtoknowthathe’sworththewaitandtheeffort”

OfficerRizzowasquietforamomentandherfeaturessoftenedslightly.Finallyshenodded,althoughbythelookinher expression,shewasn’tconvinced.ShethoughtIwasjustanotherfoolishgirl.MaybeshethoughtthatsinceIgrewupwithouta dadformuchofmylifeIhadsomesortofdaddyissue Maybeshewasright Ididn’tcaretodigintoit,scaredofwhatthetruth mayendupbeing

“Fairenough.Comeon,”shesaid,motioningformetofollowher. Iwasledtothefirsttrailerwhichhadtwoarmedguardsstandingattheentrance.

“ThisisMissSutten”Shenoddedtowardme “She’sheretoseeprisonerLincoln”

Bothguardseyedme,buttheolderandstockierofthetwodidn’tseemshyaboutscrutinizingme.Hisblatantleeringat mybreastsmademefeelmoreuncomfortablethansomedrunkguyatthebarevercould.

“He’sinthereandwaiting,”theyoungerguardreplied,andthendirectedhisattentiontowardme.“You’vegotthree hours Tenminutesbeforeyourtimeisupwe’llyellawarning,whichmeansstopwhatyou’redoing ”Thestockierguard’s snickeringinterruptedhispartner.“Wrapitupandleavethetrailersowecanretrievetheprisoner.Understood?”

Inodded,“Understood.”

Thiswasit Ithadbeennearlysixmonths,butthemomentwasfinallyhere

Chapter2

Cole

AsIsatonthesinglebedofthesmall,dingytrailerwaitingtoseeifshewouldactuallyshowupornot,therewasan anxietywithinmethatIhadn’tfeltinavery,verylongtime perhapsfromthedayIbeganthegruelingprocessofNavySEAL training.Thatwasadefinitestressfultimeforme.OritmighthavebeenthefirsttimeIhadapersoninthesightsofmysniper riflejustbeforepullingthetriggerandtheredmistthatimmediatelyafterseemedtofloatintheairaroundthemark.

Thosemomentshauntme

Butthiswasadifferenttypeofanxiety.

Myeyesscannedtheroomforwhatfeltlikethemillionthtime.Theroomwasnothingmorethanabedwithatable,a coupleofchairs,andasmallbathroom Theyhadgivenussomefreshlinensforthebed,soatleastitwasclean,buttherewas stillastenchofsexanddisinfectantinthelittleroomthatwasslightlynauseating

TheguardshadsuppliedmewithahandfulofcondomswhichIhadshovedinthebackpocketsofmywell-wornjeans justincase.Iwon’tsugarcoatit;Ifullyintendedtousethemtoday.Ifuckinghopedanyhow.Evenself-gratificationwashard toachievewheninthishellhole ButIvowedtomyselfthatIwouldn’tpushher

SinceI’dbeenconvicted,myfamilyandfriendshadmoreorlessdisappeared.Theycamearoundthefirstyearofmy sentence,butnow,nearlyfiveyearsintomyten-yearsentence,visitorswerevirtuallynonexistent.Myoneandonlylightinthis drearygodforsakenplacewasBreanna.

Forthepastsixmonths,she’dshownmenothingbutloyaltyanddevotion,adevotionIhadn’texperiencedeverinmy lifetime.Eachandeveryweek noexceptions she’dshowup.

AsmiletouchedmylipsandmydicksprangtolifeasIenvisionedherduringherlastvisittoseeme.Hergoldenhair hadshoneunderthefluorescentlightsoverheadandthesimplebluesundressshe’dwornhadmatchedtheroyalblueofher eyestoperfection

EachnightIwouldcallhercollect asperprisonregulations andwe’dspendmyallocatedtenminutesonthephone withher.Afterourconversation,I’dspendanotherhourwritingherletters,whichImailedeverymorningwithoutfail.This particularvisitwasaspecialfavorgrantedtomebythewardenandIwasimmenselygratefultohimforit Therewasnoprice tagonmyspecialfavor yet butonethingyoulearnquicklyinprisonwasthatnothinggoodcamewithoutstringsattached.

BreannawaswhatmademylifeworthlivingatthemomentandIcherishedeverythingabouther,fromherbeauty she wasastunningwoman,asclosetoperfectionasIcouldenvision toherkindnessandquickwit.Shewastheperfectwoman andIthankedaGodIreallydidn’tbelieveineachdaythatIhadherinmylife

Allofthatwaswhatmademefeelsonervoustoday.Therestofmystayandthequalityofmylifewhilehereall dependedontodayandwhathappened.

Itwasgoingtogowell Ithadto

Ifshegotcoldfeetanddidn’tshowup,I’dbecrushedinawayI’dneverbeenbefore.Ihadtokeeppositive.Shewas goingtoshowup;Ihadtobelieveshewouldandcouldn’tallowmyselftoentertaintheideathatshewouldn’t.

ThesoundofvoicesoutsidehadmyheartracingasIfoughttheurgetogetupandwalkovertothedoor Instead,Ikept myselfseatedontheedgeofthebed,myelbowsbracedonmyknees,handsclaspedasIwatchedthewindowlessdoor.

Afteracoupleofminutes,thevoicesdiedoffandthesoundofthedoorbeingunlockedbroughtmetofullattention. Thiswasit!Thenextfiveyearshunginthebalanceofthesecomingthreehours.Momentslaterthedoorswungopenand Breannacautiouslysteppedupintothetrailer,worryetchedintoherbeautifulface

Withherfullyinside,thedoorwasquicklyclosedandlockedbehindher,makingherflinchbeforehereyesliftedto lookintomineandthenquicklylookedaway

Slowlystanding,Isilentlywatchedhereyesscanthecontentsofthesmalltrailerandawaveofshamewashedover me.Thiswasn’twhereI’dhavepreferredourfirsttimetobe,butitwasthebestIcouldofferher.Herbodyappearedstill,but Icouldn’thelpbutnoticeherhandsgraspingherlittlehandbagshookeversoslightly.Slowly,cautiously,asifIweretokeep fromstartlingawildanimal,Iclosedthedistancebetweenus Thiswasnodoubtscaryforherandduetothat,IknewthatI neededtohandlehercautiously.Withlessthantwofeetseparatingus,hereyesfinallymetmygrayones.

“Th-theytoldmew-wehavethreehours.”Aslightsmiletouchedherpink-paintedglossylips,whichwasallthe motivationthatIneeded QuicklyIclosedtheremainingdistancebetweenus,pullinghertighttome,mylargeframepractically eclipsingher

Herbodyfrozeinmyarmsforamoment,asherlittlehandbagslippedfromherfingersandfelltothefloor.

Fuck,I’dmovedtooquickly.Shewasn’treadyformetoadvanceonherlikethat.

Sheremainedstillforaninstantandthenseemedtorelax,wrappingherarmsaroundmeandburyingherfaceinmy neck.

Shefeltandsmelledlikefuckingheaven.TentimesbetterthanI’ddreamed.Fuck,onehundredtimeseven.Thiswas alreadythegreatestdayI’dhadinaslongasIcouldremember.

Itookadeepbreathin,takingintheintoxicatingscentofpeachesasIinhaled Damn,shesmelledgood sofreshand clean,sowonderfullyfeminine.Inaplacelikethis,shesmelledlikefreedom.Sweet,sweetfreedom.

I’dgoneoverfiveyearswithoutthefeelofasoft,beautifulwomaninmyarms;soevenifallshepermittedustodo todaywasallowmetoholdherclose,herlushbreastspressedtightlyagainstmyT-shirtcladchest,thenI’dgobacktomycell ahappyman

“YouhavenoideahowmuchI’velookedforwardtothisday.I’vebeencountingthehourssinceweweregiventhe approval,”Imurmuredintoherhair.Mydickwasgrowingatanalarmingrate,strainingagainstthedenimcontainingit.

Pullingawayfromme,thoughstillkeepingthepalmsofherhandsrestingonmychest,shelookedupintomyeyesand nibblednervouslyatherbottomlip.Mygazewasautomaticallydrawntothoselips,whichshoneinthedimfluorescenceofthe overheadlight.

Wastheglossonherlipsflavored?

Iwasdyingtofindout

Shereachedupandcaressedthelineofmyjaw,whichboreaslightstubble.Thefeelofhersofthandsentachill throughme,increasingthefirewithin.Alight,nervouslaughpassedherlipsandshedippedhereyestoscantheexpanseofmy chestandshoulders DuetoallmyyearsintheNavyandthenintheSEALs,I’dbeeninpeakphysicalshapebeforegoingto prison However,inprisontherewasn’tmuchtodo,soIspentasmuchtimeaspossibleinthegymworkingout Astrong, muscularbodywastheresult.

“I’malittlenervous,”shefinallyadmitted,castinghergazedownwardandrefusingtolookintomyeyes.

So am I,Isilentlytoldher

Pullingherintightagainstmeoncemore,Iplacedatenderkissonhertempleandstrokedherhair,whichfellhalfway downherback.Eventhefeelofhersilkenlocksastheypassedthroughmyfingerswasturningmeon.

Fuck, keep control of yourself, Lincoln,Iscoldedmyself.Ifthingsgottothepointofbeingphysical,thenthelastthing Iwantedwastoendupbeingathirty-secondwonder

“There’snoneedtobe.”Ireleasedalow,deepchuckle.“Ifanyoneshouldbenervousitshouldbeme.Thisisthefirst timeI’veheldawomaninoverfiveyears.”

Whenshedidn’trespond,Icuppedherchininmyhandandforcedhereyestomeetmine Ineededhertoseemy sincerity “Nothingwillhappenunlessyouwantittohappen IsweartoyouI’mhappiernowjustholdingyouthanI’vebeen

sinceIwasputinhere.Hell,longerthanthat,even.Sothere’snothingtobenervousabout,andIdon’texpectanythingother thanyourcompanyforthenextthreehours Whatwedoordon’tdoiscompletelyuptoyou Thishasalreadybeenthebestday I’vehadinavery,verylongtime.”AndImeantit.

Whenshedidn’trespondrightaway,Icaressedhersoftcheekwithmythumb,causinghertoinhalesharply.Shehadthe cutestheart-shapedface.Shewassofuckingperfect.

“Okay?”Iprompted,concernedaboutherfailuretorespond

Chapter3

Breanna

Ireleasedanunsteadybreathandnodded.I’dbuiltthismomentupinmymindforsolongthatnowthatitwasfinally here,Iwasataloss

Onethingwasforsure.Havinghisarmsaroundmemademykneesweak.Themanwasamazinglysexy;thehardlines ofmusclestrainedunderthecottonshirt.WhileIknewthesweet,sensitivesideofhim,therewasanunderlyingbadboyedge tohimthatwasexhilarating,yetintimidating.Ormaybeitwasthisplace,thislittletrailerthattoldmethathewasn’tgoodfor me Whyelsewouldhebeinaplacelikethisifhedidn’tbelonghere?

Hewasthekindofmanyourmotherwarnedyouabout,butyoucouldn’twaittohoponthebackofamotorcyclewith. Buttherewassomuchmoretohim.Ifhiswordsweregenuine,andIfelttheyindeedwere,thenhewasthetypeofmanwomen fellhardforandultimatelygothurtbyintheprocess Notduetohimbeingdishonest,butduetothemfallingforthedreamand jumpingbeforelookingfirst

KindalikeIwasdoingnow?

Maybe.

HepulledmebackintohimagainsthiswarmbodyandIsighed

TheinitialtimidnessthathadbeenplaguingmewhenIfirstenteredthetrailerfadedawayasthelongingI’dbeen feelingforhimoverthepastmonthstookover.Dammit,Iwantedhimworsethananyonebefore.

Hewasasecret.Forbidden.Andallmine.Atleastforthenextfewhours.

Iranmyhandsacrosshischestandshoulders,feelingthebeautifulhardanddefinedmuscleundertheprison-issue cottonT-shirt.Iwantedtosaysomething,butwordsseemedtobeatalossforme.

“Everythingandanythingthathappenshereisuptoyou.I’dneverpushyou,”hereiterated.Hisvoiceandwordswere soothing,likesatinrunningovermyfleshandcausinggoosebumps

Lookingbackintohiseyesitwaseasytodeterminethathewasindeedtellingthetruthand damn diditeverturnmeon, causingmypussytoclenchwithanticipation.

Pressingmybodyupagainsthim,Ighostedmylipsacrosshis.“Iwantthis,”Iwhisperedagainsthismouth.Damn,I don’tthinkI’deverwantedanythingworse

Hisresponsetookmebysurprise,sendingathrillingshiverdownmyspine.Pullingmeeventighteragainsthim,his eagercockpressedagainstmystomach.Hislipscamecrashingdownontomine,claimingmewithanurgencythatI’dnever feltfromanyonebefore.Whenhistongueslippedbetweenmylips,Iletoutasoftmoanasourtonguesmetandbegantoduel.

Cole’skisswasfilledwithsuchintense hungerandpassionthatitseemedasthoughthelastsliverofmymind’scontrol overthesituationgavewaytomybody.Ourbodiestookover,myhipsrubbingagainstthehardridgeofhiscockthroughthe layersofclothing.MyhandsslippedupandunderthebackofhisT-shirttofeelthecontoursofmuscle.

Hefeltsogood,sohard;everyinchofhisbody,muscledandrigid,waspressingagainstme Hishandsslippedtomy ass,cuppingmyasscheeksinhispalmsandpullingmygrointighteragainsthishardenedshaft

Imoanedagainsthislipsagainasfreshwavesofpleasurecrashedthroughme,endingwithanintensepulsingbetween mylegs.Mypantieswerebecomingincreasinglyanduncomfortablywetasthedesirewithinmerose.

Howwemanagedtomakeitacrossthesmallroomwithoutmerealizingweweremovingisbeyondme ButsuddenlyI wasfallingbackwardontothebed,hislargeframecollapsingoverme.Hecaughthisweightwithahandoneithersideofmy headtopreventhimselffromcrushingmewithhismassiveframe.Hiseyeslockedontomine,theintensityofhisgazesendinga shiverthroughmeastheworldaroundusmomentarilystoodstill.FistingthebackofhisT-shirt,Iattemptedtogaincontrol overmyself

My Lord, do I ever need this man!

Itwasthrilling,yetasscaryashell Hecouldhurtme notphysicallyofcourse Butifthisweretohappen,Icouldbe hurtworsethanI’deverbeenhurtbefore.Couldmyhearthandleit?Diditmatter?

“YouhavenoideahowmuchI’vedreamedoftouchingandkissingyoursweetlips.Everyday,everynight.You’reallI thinkabout,Bre,”hewhispered,ashebentdownandtrailedalineofkissesupmyneckfrommycollarbonetomyearlobe.

Iwaslosingmymindfromthecombinationofhiswordsandtheteasingfeelofhislipsandtongueonmysensitive flesh.HotburstsofdesireshotthroughmeandIcriedout,closingmyeyesandclutchingtightertohisshirt.

Iwasvaguelyawarethateverymoan,everyscream,everyloudwordcouldbeheardbytheguardsoutside,butfuck it Itdidn’tmatteratthismoment Infact,insomemessed-up,twistedwayitmademeevenwetterthinkingaboutthemen outsidegettinghardjusthearingmewithCole

“Saythewordandwestop,”hewhisperedinmyear,nippingatmylobe.

Ibarelyhadasecondtoreplyaweak,“Uh-huh,”beforehismouthwascoveringmineonceagain.Stop?WhywouldI stop?WhywouldIeverwantthistoend?I’dneverbeensoaroused,orsodesperatetoseeandfeelamannakedovermein mytwenty-sixyears.

Maybeitwasthethreemonthsofknowinghim,fallingforhim,andknowingIcouldn’thavehiminthiswaythatfueled mydesireandurgentneedtohavehiminmewithsuchurgency.Ididn’tknowthereasonanddidn’tcare.

Grabbingthebottomofhisshirt,Istruggledtopullitup Takingthehint,hesatupbetweenmylegsandpulledthe troublesomeshirtupoverhishead,tossingitontothetablenexttothebed.Hebegantolowerhimselfbackdownoverme,but Istoppedhim,pressingapalmtohischest.

“Iwanttoseeyou”

Coledidn’tsayawordbutsimplystayedwherehewasonhisknees,betweenmylegs,hischestheavingheavilyand thelargeoutlineofhiscockstrainingagainsthisjeans.Hisbodywasrightoutofafitnessmagazine,definedabs,leantorso, broadchest,andpowerful,muscularshouldersandarmsthatwereeasilythesizeofmythigh.Damn.Betweenthebeautyofhis bodyandhisstrongjaw,highcheekbones,andpiercinggrayeyes,helookedathousandtimesbetterthananymalecover model.

Thelightinginthetrailerwasdim,despiteitbeingthemiddleoftheday,butIcouldstillseethenumerousscarsthat litteredhisuppertorso.Iwastemptedtoaskaboutthescars,butdecidedtoleavethosequestionsforabettertime.

Iranmyfingersalongthelinesofhisabs,whichcausedalow,deepgrowltoescapehislips LookingupIsawan intense,feralhungerinhiseyesastheysurveyedmybody.Anothershiverofanticipationshotthroughme.

Runningahandthroughhisshort,sandyblondhair,hereleasedapent-upbreathinanattempttocalmhimself.“Justso youknow Ihavecondoms,ifyouwantto well andI’vebeentested,wearerequiredtobeto ”Whenaslightcoysmile touchedmylips,hestoppedhisramblingandlaughed “Andyoualreadyknowallthis ”

Hisnecktookonaslightpinktintthatgraduallymoveduptohisfaceandmademegiggle.Thiswholesituationwasso damnedsexy,uncomfortable,arousing,andexcitingallatthesametime.Ifeltamillionemotionsrushingthroughmeatonce, makingitthemostintensefeelingI’deverexperienced

Sittingup,Iplacedakissonhisstomachasheslippedmyopenshirtoffofmyshouldersandletitslidetothebed behindme.Ipaused,takingadeepbreathinandslowlyreleasingit,attemptingtocalmthefireblazingwithinme.Thenhe begantoundohisjeans,freeinghisthick,erectcock.Itwasmonstrouslyhuge,withadollopofcumseepingoutoftheslitatthe tip Ifoughttheurgetotakehiscockintomymouth,suckingitdry

Notnow.Notyet.

Hookingmythumbsintothebeltloopsofhisjeans,Ituggedthemdownoverhiships.Thebriefshewaswearing quicklyfollowedsuit Cole’sbodytensedupagainstmeashishandsworkedtheirwayintomyhair,whilehegentlyurgedmy lipstohisshaft

Ilickedmylipsinanticipationbeforeflickingmytongueacrosstheslit,lappingupthealreadygatheredcumfromthe tip Hemoanedsoftly,hishandsfistingmyhairgivingitalittletug Flickingthetiponcemore,Ithencircledmytonguearound thethickhead,beforerunningitalongtheundersideofhiscock,fromhisballstothetip,circlingtheheadasecondtime.

“Damnthat’sfuckingtorture,”Colegroaned.“Don’tfuckingstop.”

AsItookthetipofhiscockinmymouthIlookedup,myblueeyescatchinghisdesire-filledgrayones.Iheldhisgazea momentbeforesinkinghiscockintomymouthuntilthetipreachedthebackofmythroat Hegroanedalittlelouderthistime, hishipslightlythrustingagainstmymouthasIbeganasteadyrhythm,hishipsrockingtomeetmymouth.

Ireacheddownandgraspedhisballsinthepalmofmyhand,massagingandtuggingatthemgentlyasmylipscontinued totorturehisshaft

“Ican’trememberfeelinganythingsogood,”hegasped,hishandstighteninginmyhairashishipsbegantothrustwith slightlymoreforce.IfIwasn’tstillwearingmyjeansI’dhaveslippedmyhandbetweenmylegsandbeguntostrokemyself. ButIcouldn’t.Iwasforcedtoendurethefirethatwasburninginmypussywhichwasdrivingmetonearinsanity,mybody demandinghiscock

WithmyfreehandIbegantostokethebaseofhiscockintimewithmymouth’supanddownmovements.Hisdickand ballsbecamerocksolid.Sensinghisimpendingrelease,Iincreasedmyefforts.

“Ifyoudon’tstopsoon,I’mgoingtoendupcominginyourmouth,honey,”hewarned,hisvoicebreakingashespoke. Closingmyeyes,Imoaned,anxioustotastehimandfeelhisexplosivereleasepummelthebackofmythroatand tongue.

Takingmymoanasaninvitation,hetookcontrol,fuckingmymouthinearnest,hiscockandballssolidandthrobbing momentsbeforehisreleasemetmygreedymouth,hiscumsurgingfromhisdicktopummelagainstthebackofmythroat I moanedagain,quicklydrinkingdowneverylastdrop,asifitwerethefinestwine

“OhGod,Bre,”Colegroaned,sittingbackonhisheelsoncemore.Hookinghisindexfingerundermychin,hetiltedmy faceupsomyeyesmethisandthenloweredhislipstomine,kissingmesotenderlyandwithsomuchaffectionthatitleftme lightheaded “Ihavenowords I ”

Whenhepulledhismouthbackfrommine,Ilookedupathimwithacoysmileonmylips.“MaybeI’llfindout.”

“Afterthat,youcanhaveanythingyouwant,”heteasedasheslidoffthebedandstrippedofftheremainderofhis clothingandsetitonthetablewithhisT-shirt.Iwatchedeverymovementhemadeintently.

AsColecamebackovertothesmallbedandstretchedoutonhissidebesideme,hepulledmebackintohisarms The nervousnessI’dbeenfeelingwhenIfirstarrivedaboutbeinghereinthisdingytrailerandwithhimhadvanished.Ashiverof anticipationrandownmyspineashiseyesdrankineveryexposedinchofmybody.

“I’dliketoseeallofyou,baby,”hefinallysaid,hiseyescatchingmine “Ineedtoseeeveryinchofyou”

Ashiverofanticipationracedthroughmeoncemore,causingmybodytoslightlytremble Colefrowned.“Areyoucold?There’sablanketin…”

Iplacedahandonthesideofhisfaceandurgedhislipstomine.“Idon’tneedablanket,”Iwhisperedagainsthislips. “Ineedyou”

“OhBreanna,”hegrowled,claimingmylips,pushingmebackagainstthebed,hisfingerstrailingdownmystomach untiltheyreachedthebuttonofmyjeans.Whenhehesitated,Igraspedhissemi-hardcockandgaveitseveralfastandhard jerks;itquicklyturnedsolidandreadyforasecondround.

Thatseemedtobealltheencouragementheneeded Hisfingersundidthebuttonandunzippedmyjeans,pushingthem downpastmyhips.Withinsecond,myjeanswereoffandIlaynaked,exceptformyblacklacebraandmatchingthong,which wasdrenchedwithmyneed.

“YouhavenoideahowmanytimesI’vemasturbatedwhilethinkingofyou,Cole,”Iadmitted Generally,Iwouldhave beentooshytohaveadmittedthattothemanIwaswith,butwithColeitseemedtobethemostnaturalthingintheworldto

reveal.Therewassomethingthere,somethingintenseandbeautifulthatIhadahardtimewrappingmyheadaround,butIknew Ineverwantedtoletthatfeelinggo

Colewhippedhiseyesuptopeerintomineashepushedmywetunderweardownmyhipsandoff.Reachingbehind me,heundidtheclaspatthebackofmybraandslippeditfrommyshoulders,revealingmyC-cupbreastswithtaut,pink nipples.

“Masturbateforme,Bre Iwanttowatch,”hewhisperedinmyear,sendingyetanotherchilldownmyspine Iclosed myeyesandmoanedsoftly,asmyfingersmadetheirwaybetweenmylegsandpartedthelipstorevealmymoistpussyand swollenclit.Hecaughtmychininhishandandkissedmelightly.“Openyoureyes.Iwanttoseethelookinthemwhenyou come”

Inodded,chewingatmylowerlip,lookingintohisdesire-filledeyes,pushingbacktheurgetoshyawayfromthe request.

SoftlyIbegantostrokemyclitasColepalmedmybreastinhishand.Hisfingersrolledmynippleintoatightpeak beforeheloweredhismouthtoit,suckinghardandmakingmecryoutasajoltofpleasureshotthroughmecombinedwiththe throbbingbetweenmylegs.Iclungtohisshoulderwithmyfreehand,myFrench-manicuredfingernailsdiggingdeepintohis flesh,buthedidn’tseemtonoticeorcare.

Asthefirewithinmeintensified,IincreasedthepressureandspeedatwhichIstrokedmyself.“Ithoughtyouwantedto lookinmyeyeswhenIcame,”IgaspedasImovedclosertoorgasmandhemovedhismouthtocapturetheotherpeak,nipping atthebud.

“Oh,Ido,”heassuredmewithadeep,throatychuckle.

“Oh,God!”Igroaned,sinkingtwofingersdeepintomypussy “Ineedyourcockinme,Cole”

Withafinalflickofhistongueovermynipple,hismouthgrazedmineagain,thenhelookeddeepintomyeyes He slippedhishandbetweenmylegs,pushingasidemyhandsohecouldcupmymoundhimself.“Youwill.Asmanytimesasyou wantit,baby.”

“ThengiveittomenowCole,please!”

Withoutanotherword,hepositionedhimselfbetweenmylegs,runningthetipofhiscockbackandforthalongthe lengthofmyslit.Hepressedhiscockattheentranceofmycore,thenpaused.“Icanjust…”

Ididn’tlethimfinish.Iwrappedmylegsaroundhiswaistandheldtighttohim.“Ihaveitcovered;pleasefuckme, Cole”

Withasexygrinthatcouldmakeanywomanfalltotheirknees,hereplied,“You’retheboss.”Withoneforcefulthrust, heplungedhisdickintome,fillingmecompletely,hismassiveshaftstretchingmetomylimits.

Iscreamedout,whichgainedtheattentionoftheguardsoutsideandaknocksoundedonthedoor Neitheroneofus seemedtocareasColebeganthrustingintome,fillingmetothehilt

“Iseverythingallrightinthere,MissSutten?”oneoftheofficersinquired.

Oh, shit!Generally,Iwouldhavediedfromembarrassment,butthefeelofhimpoundingintomedidn’tallowmea momenttobecomeembarrassedasitbroughtmequicklytothebrink,momentsawayfromexplodingoverhiscock “Answerorwe’recomingin,”theofficerwarned.

“Fine,I’mfine,”Isomehowmanagedtoassurethemthroughmygaspsandmoans.Myfingersclungtohisback,my fingernailsleavingdeep,angryredscratchesacrosshisflesh.AsIcame,mypussyclenchedaroundhisshaftinanorgasmthat wasmoreintensethananythingI’dexperiencedbefore,leavingmepantingandfeelinglightheaded “Dammit,thatfeltsogood,baby.”

Hesuddenlyswitchedpositions,sittingbackonhisheelsandtakingmewithhim.Withhiscockstillburieddeepinside ofme,heplacedmylegsoverhisshouldersandwithmyrearsuspendedintheair,resumedhisdick’sassaultonmyquivering pussy

Iwatchedashislong,thickrodrammeddeepintome,disappearingtotheballstoreappearshiningwithmyjuices coatingit Overandoverhepunishedmewithhisdick Slippingahandbetweenmylegs,Ipartedmyfoldscompletelyand restartedmymasturbationeffortswhilehefuckedmeintooblivion.

“You’resofuckingtight;it’ssofuckinggood.”Hecontinuedpummelingme,punishingme,rekindlingthefirethathad beenragingwithinmebeforetheorgasm.MyplumpbreastsjiggledwiththeforceofhisthrustsasIgrippedtheironheadboard tightlytosteadymyself

“Comewithme,honey,”hecoaxed,slowingthespeedofhisthrustsslightly.

“Almostthere,”Igasped,increasingmyeffortsonmyclit.Withthecombinationofhiscock,whichwasstrokingmy innerwalls,andmyhandonmyclit,Irapidlyascendedtowardclimax “Coming,”Iscreamedoutjustasthefloodgatesburst open

AsIcriedout,hegavemeseveral,faster,harderthrustsandgruntedasheunloadedwithinme,hiscummixingwithmy juices.Asmypussyvibratedfrommyorgasm,itmilkedhiscockofeverylastsweetdropofhisseed.

Myheartwasbeatingsorapidlythatitfeltasthoughitwasgoingtoexplodethroughmychest I’dnevercomesohard inmylifeasIhadwithhiscockburieddeepintome.Mygazeshifteduptomeethisandhegavemealazy,satisfiedsmile, beforeplacingalightkissonmyinnerthighandthengentlyloweringmylegstothemattress.AsIlayspread-eagledonthe bed,hestretchedoutalongsidemeandranahandthroughmyhair,watchingthestrandscatchthelightastheyslowlyfellfrom hisfingertips

Chapter4

Cole

Glancingoveratthebasicanalogclockmountedonthewall,dreadrushedthroughme.Anhourhadgonebyalready. TherewassomuchIwantedtosaywhileIhadhertherecuddlednexttome Therewasamountainofinformationwehadyet toshare,yetneverenoughtimetoshareit.Iknewalotabouther,fromherfavoriteflavoroficecreamtothenameofher childhoodpets inorder.ButIwantedtodivedeeperintowhatmadeherwhoshewas.Thedeeptypeofsharingthatcould onlyreallybedonefacetofaceandlookingintoeachother’seyes.Itseemedliketwohoursjustwasn’tgoingtobeenough. Andforthelifeofme,IhadnoideawheretoevenstarttogetoutallIwantedtosaytoher

“What’swrong,Cole?”sheasked,turningtohersideandfacingme.Withherfingertips,shebegantracingthecontours ofmusclethroughmychestandshoulders.Herbrightblueeyeslookedupatme,afrowncreasingherprettyfeatures.

Iranmyhandthroughhergoldenhairandwatchedthestrandsastheyslowlyslippedthroughmyfingers Sosoftand silky Suchbeautyinaplacefilledwithugliness MygazecaughthersoncemoreandIsighed “Iknowweusuallydon’ttalk aboutwhyIwasputinhere.Iknowyou’vereadthetranscriptsandthenewspaperarticlesonit,butIthinkIneedtotellyou myownaccount.”Whensheopenedhermouthtoprotest,Ileanedoverandkissedherlightly,effectivelysilencingher.

“Please”

Shenodded.

Clearingmythroat,Ibegan,“IhadjustgottenmyhonorabledischargepapersfromtheNavyandIhadstoppedbya localbartohavesomecelebratorydrinksbeforecatchingabusthenextmorningtoNashville,wheremyfamilylivedand currentlydoes asfarasIknow It’sbeenalongtimesinceI’vespokentothemsoit’shardtosay Anyhow,Iwasamixof emotionsthatnight.Gladtobedoneandyettherewasapartofmethatfearedbeingbackintherealworld.It’shardtoexplain andIdon’texpectyoutounderstand.Ireallydidn’thaveanyreal-lifeadultexperienceintherealworld.Ifthatmakesany sense”

Shenoddedagain

“IwaswaitingforsomebuddiestoshowupforonelastnightofdrinksbeforeIwasonmyway.WhoknewwhenI’d seethemagain ifever.Iwasdrinkingprettyheavily,tooheavilyifIwerebeinghonestwithyou,andthesetwomen approachedme IguessIresembledsomemanthey’dbeenlookingfor Theguyowedthemmoneyorsomething Istilldon’t knowtothisdayforsure.”

Shenoddedbutdidn’tinterruptasshecontinuedtorunherfingertipsalongmychest.RollingovertomybackIpulled heroverwithme,holdinghertighttomysideandplacingakissonherforehead.

“Theystartedhoundingme,mouthingoff,justtalkingnonsense Ididn’tpaymuchattentiontowhattheyweresaying I wantednoneofit.Ijustthoughttheywereacoupleofdrunkfucks.Finally,Idecidedtoleave.Ireallydidn’twantanytrouble, Ijustwantedtoenjoyagoodtime,y’know?Butitwasmorethanthat.Therewassomethinginsideofmethatwasachingto lashout Yearsoftraining?Pent-upanger?Whoknowsreally?IjustknowIneededoutoftherebeforeIlostmypatienceandit escalated ToldthebartenderthatiftheboysshowedupafterIlefttotellthemtomeetmeatadifferentbarafewblocks away.”

Breannanodded.“Igetthat.Makessense.”

“So,Ipaidformydrink,stood,andmademywaytotheexit,buttheyfollowed Theydidn’tsayordoanything,just followedme.”

Memoriesofthatnightbegantofloodtheforefrontofmymind.Othermemoriesjoinedthem,ofmytimewhenIwas trainedthatifgiventhecommandlifewasconsideredexpendable.Grueling,mind-fuckkindofmemories.Fuck,IwishedthatI couldjustburythemforever

Ifellsilentforamomentinthought,blanklypeeringupatthedingyoff-whiteceilingwithitspeelingpaint.Iwantedto ensurethatthedetailsItoldherwereasaccurateasIcouldrememberthem Eventhoughtheincidentchangedmylife dramatically,ithadhappenedoverfiveyearsago.Admittedly,Ihadbeensomewhatintoxicatedatthetime.DespiteallthatI didrememberthedetailsfairlywell asthoughithadhappenedmuchmorerecently.Thelong,drawn-outtrialhadalottodo withthataswell.IsometimeswonderedhowmuchIrememberedmyselfandhowmuchhadbeenhand-fedsecondhand informationfromthetrialthathadfilledinthegapsinmymemoryofthatnight

“SoImadeittotheparkinglotandwaslookingtoseeiftherewasacabavailable.Theotherbarwasn’tfarawaybutI feltacabwouldgivemetheseparationIneededfromthem.Asluckwouldhaveittherewasn’tatthatmoment.Iwasaboutto gobackinandcallsomeonewhenthefirstonepunchedme lowerback Fuckingbroughtmetomyknees,mostlybecauseI wasn’texpectingit Iwas,butIwasn’t”Ilookedoveratheragain “YouknowwhatImean?”

Shenoddedbutremainedsilent,snugglingtightertome,drapingabarelegovermythighsandplacingherheadonher hands,overmychest,hereyesgluedtomine.

“Thingsgetalittlehazyatthispointinmyrecollection Ijustseemedtolosecontrol”Therewerealotofbad memories,memoriesIwantedtokeeplockedawaythatcamerushingback.“Iknockedthefirstone’slegsfromunderhimand ashewasonthegroundIlandedapunchtohisneck.IknowIwasintendingtohithisjaw,butthealcoholmessedwithmyaim, Iguess.Ilaterfoundoutthepunchhadcrushedhiswindpipe.Hewasdeadbeforetheambulancearrived.

“Theothermancameatmefrombehindandputaknifetomyneck Ibroughtmyelbowbackandcaughthiminthe stomachafewtimes,untilheletgo.Ishouldhavestoppedthere,butIdidn’t.Iwastoocaughtupinthemoment.Itackledhim tothegroundandstartedbeatinghim.Icouldn’tseemtostopmyself,Iwasinsomesortofrage-fueledPTSDfrenzy.Hewas pleadingwithme,tellingmetostop,butIdidn’t Atleastthat’swhattheeyewitnessaccountssay Bloodwaseverywhere,all overme,alloverhim,andIjustcontinuedtobeatonhim,hishead,neck,face Justcouldn’tstop ItwaslikeIwaspossessed Ittooktwopoliceofficersandatasertopullmeoff.”

Shamewashedoverme.Thefirstman,Icould almost livewithmyselfover.Almost.Accidentshappen.Butthesecond man,IknewIshouldhavestoppedbutIdidn’t Ihadn’tbeenstrongenough Ithadhauntedmeeverydayofmylife Thosetwo menalongwithalltheotherfaceswhodiedasaresultofmytakingordershauntmetothisday.Therapywashelping,butI suspectedI’dbeneedingtherapyfortherestofmylifetosortouthowfuckedIwasinthehead atleastitfeltthatwayat times.

Thedayswerebad,butthenights ThenightswereinfestedwithdreamssobadthatI’dwakeupinacoldsweat screaming.Ididn’tsharethatwithher.Maybeoneday,butcertainlynottonight.

Sheplacedasweetkissonmychest,pullingmefrommythoughts.“Itwasn’tyourfault.Youwereassaulted.Youdid whatyouneededtodo”

Withashakeofmyhead,Ilookeddownather “Nah,itwasexcessiveuseofforcebyatrainedkiller Thesecondman especially.IlostcontrolandIdeservetobeinhere.IdeservethosetenyearsIwasgiven fuck,IsometimesthinkIdeserve more.IfIdogetparolednextmonthlikeweexpect,I’llbestartingmylifeoveratthirty-five.I’mlosingfiveyearsofmylife, maybetenifIdon’tgetparoled,butthey’redeadforever ”

“Theybroughtitonthemselves.Youdidwhatyouhadtodo,Cole.”

Igrimaced.“Thenwhydon’tIdon’tfeelthatway?Iwasstrongerthanthem.Bettertrained.Fightingandkillingiswhat I’dspenttheprevioustenyearsdoing.Evenwithmeintoxicated,theydidn’tstandachance,Bre.Theysimplydidn’t.”

Breannaclungtightertome,buryingherfaceintomyneck “Becauseyou’reagoodman,withaconscience Youmade amistakeandyou’repayingforthatmistakenow.”

Ipulledawayfromherslightly,caughtherchininmyhandandbroughthereyestomine,“I’mnotagoodman.I’mnot. I’msureashellnotgoodenoughforyouandIknowit,butyou’rethelightthatkeepsmegoingthrougheachday Ilivetohear yourvoiceandtoseeyourbeautifulfaceonceaweek Ilive foryou SoI’mgoingtobeselfishandtakewhatyouwillgiveto

meofyourselfandbegratefuleverymomentyou’reatmyside.”

HavingsaidwhatIneededto,Ifellsilent,runningmyhandsthroughherhair Again,Iwatchedasthesilkenstrandsfell throughmyfingers.Itookinadeepbreathandexhaledloudly,thenaskedthequestionthathadbeenplaguingmeforthepast fewweeks.“Withsomanygreateligiblementochoosefrom,whydoyouevenbotherwithacon?”Ilaughedbutitwasa hollowlaugh,whichseemedtoechothroughthesmalltrailer.ThenIstaredintentlyather.“Whydevoteyourtimetoamanthat issimplynogoodforyou?”

Breanna

Iblinkedbackthetearsthatwerebeginningtoform.ThiswashardlytheconversationIwasexpectingtohavewithhim today.Smalltalkperhaps,butcertainlynotthisheavyconversation.“Well,Itoldyouaboutmyfather...”

Coleshookhishead,“No,therearetonsofwomenwithrelativesinprison Andofallthemeninprison,whydidyou logontothatwebsiteforcons?Whyselecttheprofileofamaninforadoublecountofhomicide?”

“Manslaughter,”Icorrectedhim.

SuddenlyIfeltachillandshiveredagainsthim.Thechillwaspartlyduetothetemperature,butmostlyduetothesecret thatI’dbeenhidingfromhim Ihadn’tmeanttohideanythingfromhim;I’dmeanttobeup-frontandhonestaboutwhoIwas andwhyI’dchosenhim,butaswegottoknoweachotherandourconnectiondeepened,IrealizedIwasbeginningtofallin lovewithhim.Andthatleftmeinamajorpickle.Ifearedthatthetruthwouldruineverything,soI’dkeptthereasonwhyitwas him whyithad tobehim tomyself.

“Shit,you’recold I’msorry,letmegrabthatblanket”Colepulledhimselffromourembrace,slidfromthebed,and walkedovertothetablewherethethickgrayfleeceblanketwassitting.Snatchinguptheblanket,hehurriedbacktome.Lying backdownhepulledmetighttohim,coveringournakedbodieswiththeblanket.

Ihadtotellhim Itwasn’tfairnotto Ourrelationshipwasalreadyplaguedwithproblemsandobstaclestoovercome Dishonestlycouldn’tbeaddedtothelistofissueswehad

Aslongashisparolehearingwentsmoothlyandeveryoneassumedthatitwould he’dbeenamodelprisonerthepast fiveyears he’dbereleasedandwewereexpectingtostartanormallifetogetherinalittleoveramonth.Hehadtoknow whoIwas

Ijust…

Dammit.

ThelastthingIwantedtodowasruinthemoment.

Butnowseemedlikeitwasthetimetotellhim Icouldn’tletthecharadelastanylonger

“Cole,Ineedtotellyousomething,”Istarted,chewingnervouslyatmylowerlip.Icouldhearthehesitationinmytone anditmademecringe.

WhatifIlosthim?Icouldn’tbearthethought Colefrowned “What’swrong?”

“Pleasedon’tbeangry...er...atleastpleasehearmeout.”Tearsfilledmyeyes,threateningtoescape.“Promisemethat much?”

Hisbodytensednexttomine,causingmetocringeandmyfrowndeepen.

“Tellmewhat’sgoingon,”hepressed “Ididn’tjustrandomlypickyou,Cole.”

Hisbrowfurrowedashestaredatmemoreintently.“Whatdoyoumean?”

MyheartfeltlikeitwasabouttoexplodefrommychestasIgatheredthenervetotellhimthecompletetruth.

Shiftingpositionssothatmyheadwasproppeduponmyhand,Iattemptedtoavoidhisgaze,buthewasn’thavingit Cuppingmycheekinhishand,heforcedmetokeepmyeyesfocusedonhis.

“Thesecondguythatattackedyou...”

“Yeah,CarsonWhitmore Whatabouthim?”

Takingadeepbreathin,Iexhaledloudly,decidingtojustblurtitoutandletthechipsfallastheymay “Iwasengaged tohim.”

Cole’sbodytensedbesidemeashisexpressionturnedblankbeforemyeyes.Hesaidnothing,didnothing,juststaredat measifI’dgrownasecondheadorsomething

I’ddroppedabombonhim.Thiswasprobablytheworsttimetohaveconfessedtohim.Ishouldhaveconfessedwell beforenow.Iwasapieceofshitandacoward.Ijust…

Panickedthathissilencemeantlosinghim,Ibeganrambling,layingitalloutforhiminonelongwordsaladthatbarely madeanysensetomeletalonehim “Hewasahorridman youhavenoideahowhorriblehewas Hewasamonster,Cole He’dhurtandkilledsomanypeople...somany...Hewasn’ttheupstandingcitizenhe’dbeenportrayedtobe.” Silence.

“Hewasn’tthatwayatfirst,mindyou I’dmethimfreshoutofhighschool Iwasyoungandfoolishandhewas charmingandmademefeelsospecial Thenitchanged Ittooksomeyears,buthechanged Hefoundanewgroupoffriends Theywereintoawholelotofshit.Whenhestartedusinghebecamehatefulandangryallthetime.OhGod,Idon’tknow.I just...”

Itookadeepbreath,attemptingtocontrolthefloodofemotionsthreateningtoescapeifIletthem,beforecontinuing “NeverinmylifedidIthinkI’dendupinarelationshipliketheoneIwasinwithhim.ItwasthetypeofrelationshipthatI wouldwarnfriendstosteerclearof,yetthereIwasfullyintoit.Drowninginiteven.”

“Isee.”Hisexpressionremainedblank.Fuck,IwishIknewwhatwasgoingthroughhishead.I’dgonethroughthe possibleoutcomesofthisconversationinmymindamilliontimes Noneofthemweregood

“WhenIcametomysenses,Iwantedoutandawayfromhim.WhenIgotupthenervetotellhimthatitwasover, everythingexploded.AlookI’dneverseenbeforecameoverhim.It’shardtoexplain.”Ishudderedasthememoriesofthat nightcamebacktome Thepain Somanylevelsofpaincamefromthatnight “Hejust losthismind OrmaybeIwas seeingtherealhim,thehimthathe’dbeenhiding Ormaybeitwasthedrugs Hebeatme,callingmeawhoreandtellingmehe wasgoingtokillthefuckerthatI’dbeenfuckingbehindhisback.WhenIlostconsciousness,hetookoffbeforethepolice showedup.Atleastthat’swhatI’vebeentold.”

Tearswereflowingfreelynow Isniffedandwipedmyeyeswiththebackofmyhand

Coleremainedquiet,buthepulledmetighttohim,andItookcomfortinthestrengthofhiswarmbodynexttomine. Clingingtohim,andthroughsniffles,Ifinishedmystory.“Heandhisbuddydidn’tattackyouformoney;theyattackedyou becauseyoulookedlikeamantheythoughtIwascheatingonhimwith.ThemanwasacookattherestaurantIwasawaitress at Carsoncouldn’tacceptthatIjustdidn’twanthimandthathewastheproblem Heneededtopasstheblametosomeone,so hesawyouandthoughtyouweremyco-worker.Hecalledmeatthehospital,tellingmehewastakingcareofthefuckerthatI wasscrewing,and...well...youknowtherestbetterthanIdo.”

Colefrowned “ButIdon’tunderstand therewasnomentionofafiancéeatthetrial Thismakesnosense Whydidn’t thatinformationcomeup?”

IshookmyheadbutkeptmyfaceburiedagainstCole’sshoulder.“Iwastooscaredtocomeforward.IpretendedI knewnothingaboutit You’reinjailbecauseofme IfIhadhadthecouragetotestifyaboutwhatIknew,youprobably wouldn’tbehere.”Iliftedmytear-stainedeyestomeethis.“I’msosorry,Cole.So,sosorry.Iruinedyourlife.Iamjust…” Myshouldersshookasthesobsovertookmeoncemore.“AllIwantedwasforittobeoverwith.Irefusedtotellthepolice anythingsonochargeswerefiled. If I’dpressedcharges. If I’dcomeforwardthenhe’dneverhavebeentherethatnightand youwouldn’tbehererightnow”

Thereweresomanyifswiththissituationthathauntedme.

Chapter5

Cole

Ireleasedaloudpuffofbreath.Mymindwasracing;neverwouldIhaveeverexpectedanythinglikethis.HowIwas understandingitwasthatshewassayingshewaswithmebecauseofherguilt?Shesoughtmeoutandwaswithmebecauseof guilt?Ihadnoideahowtoeventakethisrevelation.ApartofmeknewthatIshouldbeangrywithheroverthis.Hell,onone levelIwasfuckingfurious.Thereweresomanythingsshe’ddonewronginthissituation.Wouldithavechangedanything though?Thatwasthethingthatwastrippingmeupandkeepingtheangeratbay.Whethershecameforwardornotwas irrelevant I’dbeenconvictedofmanslaughter,notmurder Istillwouldhavebeenconvicted Herblamingherselfformebeing herewasunnecessarywhentheoutcomewouldhavebeenthesameregardless.

Maybethis.Maybethat.Therewasalotofwould’vecould’veshould’veinlife.Shehadnowayofknowinghowit wouldallend Noneofusdid

TheonethingthatirkedmethemostwasthatI’dspentcountlesshourstormentedaboutwhatI’ddonetobecomea targetforthemjusttofindoutthisinformation.Theyintendedtokillme.I’dbeenconsumedwithguiltforsomethingthathad beencompletelyoutofmycontrol.

Shecouldhavetoldmefromthebeginning Byallrights,sheshouldhave Dammit.

Iranashakyhandthroughmyshortblondhair,tryingtoremaincalmandthinkaboutthisrationally.

Beinginthisplace,Ididn’thavetheluxuryofstormingoutofthetrailerandtellingherIneededtogetabeerandwe’d discussitwhenIcalmeddown Tellinghertoleavecouldmeanhernevercomingback Ihadtohandlethisdelicately Shelied.AndIdamnedwellhadarighttobeupset.Butwhenitcamerightdowntoit,Isimplydidn’thaveitinmeto beangryoverwhathappenedinthepast.Regardlessofthisnewinformation,thefirstandforemostquestiononmymindwas wheredidwegofromhere?

Thepastwasthepast;Ineededtoknowwhatthefutureheld,forme,andforusnow Thisbusinessofherandtheex andmebeingherebecauseofitcouldbesortedoutanothertime.Ineededtothinkforthefuture,notliveinthepast.

“I’msosorry,Cole,youdon’tknowhow…”

Hereyeswereredandswollenfromthetearswhichhadleftblackstreaksfromhermakeupdownhercheeks There wasenoughsufferingoverthis.ThefuturewaswhatwasimportantandI’dbedamnedifI’dallowthistofuckupthevisionI washopingforthefuture.Myvisionforthefuturewaswhatkeptmegoinginthishellholemostofthetime.

Slippingmyhandaroundherneck,Ibroughtherlipsdowntomine.Mylipsghostedhers,andInippedatherlowerlip. Whenasoftmoanescapedherlips,Ithrustmytonguepastherteethandintohermouth Shemoanedlouder,kissingmeback, matchingmypassion.

Mybodycamealive,andallthatIcouldthinkaboutwasslidingdeepintoher.ButIstillhadn’tgottenmyanswer,soI pulledmylipsfromhers,despiteherprotest,andlookedintentlyather

“I’velearnedalotoverthepastfiveyearshere,andoneofthemostimportantthingsisthatthepastisthepast I’mnot goingtoblameoraccuseorgetangryoveranythingthatmayormaynothavebeenyourfault.Theendresultisthesame.I killedtwomen,andIwasgivenasentence;nothingisgoingtochangethat.Nothingyoucouldhavedoneorsaidwouldhave changedthat ButthereissomethingveryimportantthatIneedtoknow”

Hersadeyespeeredupintomine,anditnearlybrokemyheart.Ididn’twanttoseehercarryingguiltoverwhathad happened.AsfarasIwasconcerned,shewasasmuchavictimofcircumstanceasIwas;Ineededhertoseethat.Itjuststung thatshefeltshecouldn’thavetoldmethetruthaboutwhyshesoughtmeout.Whycouldn’tshehavetrustedmewiththat information?

Ishookmyhead.Irefusedtogodownthatroad.Itwasover.We’restartingfresh.Period.Partofbeingincarcerated anddoingtimewassothatwhenyouwerereleasedyoucouldstartfresh Thisnewinformationwasn’tgoingtochangethat I wouldn’tallowit.

“YouunderstandIdon’tblameyou?”Iasked. Shenodded.Shedidn’tlookconvinced.

“So,noguilt,promisemethat?”

Again,shenodded.Herexpressionseemedtobrightenjustasmidge.Good.I’dtakeit. Takingadeepbreathin,IslowlyreleaseditasIformulatedhowIwasgoingtowordwhatIsaidnext.“Ineedtoask yousomething,somethingextremelyimportanttome SomethingIneedtoknow” “Allright”

Sheattemptedaweaksmile,whichIappreciated.“Bre,areyouherebecauseofyourguilt,orareyouherewithme becauseyourheartwantsyoutobe?”InearlycringedatthecornywayI’daskedthequestion,butIneededtobeclearonthat score;Ididn’twanttheretobeanyconfusion Infortherightreasonsornotinitatall

God,Ihopeditwasfortherightreasons.LosingtheonelightIhadinmylifecurrentlywouldfuckingkillme.

Breanna

HiswordshadhelpedrelievesomeofthestressandanxietyI’dbeenharboringsinceI’dfirstbeguntalkingtohim.I wassomewhatsurprisedthathe’dtakenthenewsaswellashehad,butIwasnonethelessrelieved.Therewassomethingtobe saidaboutnotlookingagifthorseinthemouth

IchewedatmybottomlipasIlookeddeepintohisgrayeyes.Beautifulgrayeyesthatvisitedmydreamseachand everynightsinceI’dfirstmadecontactwithhim.Reachingdown,Iranmyhanddownthelengthofhisarm,themuscleflexing undermytouch WelaythereinsilenceasItookamomenttosweepmygazealongthebeautifulbodythatI’dthoughtabout eachnightwhenImasturbated

Itdidn’ttakeageniustoknowwhyhewasaskingthatquestion.HewasfearfulIwashereoutofguilt,oraspenance forthewrongI’dfeltIhaddonetohim.Anddespitehisreassurance,Idon’tknowifthatguiltwouldeverfullygoaway.But thatwasn’tthecase,andIneededtomakesureheknewthatandwouldn’thaveasliverofdoubtwhenIleftthatitwasthe truth.

Dammit,thiswholesituationwashard.OrmaybeIwasjustmakingitharderthanitneededtobe?

IhadtobesocarefulonhowIwordedthis.Iwishedthisweredifferentandwehadmoretimetosortthisout.Thefact thatwewereinatimecrunchdidn’thelpthematter

“WhenIfirststartedspeakingtoyouandseeingyou,itwasaboutmyguiltyconscience.”Hisexpressionimmediately darkened.Reachingouttohim,Itouchedmyhandtohischeek,andcaressedtheslightstubble.

Icontinued,“Thathasn’tbeenthecaseforalongtimenow EverythingI’vesaidtoyouwastrue;youmeaneverything tome WhileItrackedyoudownoutofguilt,I’mherenowbecauseofthebondwe’veformed YouarethemanIneedinmy lifeandevenifyourparoleisn’tissuednextmonth,I’llcontinuecominghereeachweek,speakingwithyoueachnight,and anxiouslyawaitingyourletterseverydayuntilyou’refree.”Ilaughed.“Imeanhowmanygirlscansaytheygetloveletters

fromtheirboyfriendseveryday?”

Thetensioninhisexpressionseemedtodim,butitwasstillthere Ineededtojustputitoutthereandletthechipsfall astheymay.Isurvivedalotinmylife,andwhileitwouldcrushme,Ineededtobebraveevenifarejectionwasinmyfuture.

Pushinghimbackagainstthemattress,Istraddledhiswaistandlaidmybodyoverhis,relishingthefeelofhiserect cockbetweenmylegs,andhishardbodyundermine.

“I’minlovewithyou,Cole That’swhyI’mhereandwhyI’llalwaysbehereforyou”

IsworeforthespanofseveralbeatstheroomwassoquietIcouldhearthesoundoftheguardsoutsidethetrailer playinggamesontheirmobilephones.

Thestonyexpressionhe’dbeenwearingbrokeasahintofasmileformedonhislips Iyelpedashequicklyflippedme ontomyback,bracinghisbodyabovemine,settlinghimselfbetweenmylegsashislipscamecrashingdownonminewitha renewedpassion.Imoanedunderhismouth,myhandswrappingaroundhisbackandclingingtohisshoulders,pullinghim downclosertome.

Mypussycameignitedwithmydesire,achingforhim Ashecontinuedkissingme,histongueforcingmineinto submission,hishandslippedbetweenusandcuppedmymound.Ibuckedviolentlyagainsthishand,needingsomethinginme andnow!Hand,cock,tongue,Ididn’tcare,butmybodyneededit demandedit now.

Hisfingerspartedmypussylipsandstrokedthelengthofmyslit,beginningatmyanusandslippingtomyclit.Over andover

“Fuck,sowet.Sobeautiful,”hegroanedagainstmymouth.

“Please!”Icriedoutbeforehislipscamecrashingdownontomineagain.

Historturousfingerscontinued,slidingalongthelengthofmyopening,butnotgivingmethepleasureoffillingme I grippedtightertohisshoulders,mynailsdiggingintothetannedflesh Afterthefifthswipeofmyslit,hefocusedonmyclit, pinchingtheswollen,sensitivenub.

“OhGod!”Igasped,whenheliftedhismouthfrommineandbeganworkinghiswaydownmyneckinamixtureof licksandkissesandnibblesthatsentashockwavedownmyspine “Fuckmeplease,Cole God,please”

Colechuckledasherolledmyclitbetweenhisfingers.“You’llgetitsoonenough.”Hismouthprogressedtomybreasts andhequicklycapturedahardenednipplebetweenhisteeth.

“Cole!”Icriedoutasjoltsofelectricpleasurecontinuedtoshootthroughmybody,intensifyingtheneedbetweenmy legs Theneedwassointensethatmywarmjuicesbegantoseepfrommypussyanddownmythighsandass Aknockcameatthedoor. Fuck!“MissSutten,iseverythingokayinthere?”theguardasked.

The fucker knows it’s all okay in here,Isilentlycursedhisinterruption.

“Everythingisfine We’refine,”Icalledback Iwouldhavebetmoneythatheandhispervertedpartnerwereoutside thedoorwiththeirearspressedupagainstit,gettingoffonlisteningtomymoans Itriedtopullthethoughtofthemfrommy mind,whichwaseasilyaccomplishedasCole’smouthfinishedthetortureonmybreastsandbegantoworkitswaylower, overmytorsoandstomach.

NolongerhavingCole’shardbodytoclingto,Ireachedupandbehindme,fistingthelinenunderme Thetension withinmewassostrongthatbythetimehismouthmadeittomynewlyshavenmound,IthoughtIwasgoingtoexplodejust fromtheanticipationofhismouthonmewherehisfingershadjustbeenplaying.

ColestoppedforaminuteandIgroanedmyfrustration.Why?Whywashesowickedinhistorture?OpeningmyeyesI lookeddown,lovingtheviewofhisheadbetweenmylegs,hiseyesdrinkinginthesightofmymoistpussy

“Sosoft,Iloveit,Breanna,”hewhispered,grazinghisfingertipsovermymound,whichI’densuredwasperfectlysoft andsmooth inanticipationfortoday.

Proppingmyselfuponmyelbows,Ismiled “It’sjustforyou”

Slippingtwofingersbetweenmyfolds,Colepartedmylipswide,exposingmyclitandtheentrancetomyheated,

needycoretohim.Heslippedtwofingersdeepintomeandbeganstrokingmyinnerwall,hittingjusttherightspottomakeme gaspandthenmoanloudly Tooloudly MybreathhitchedasIanticipatedanotherknockonthedoor,buttomyreliefnone came.

Closingmyeyesagain,Ilaybackontothehard,lumpymattress,tighteningmygriponthelinenunderme.Hisexpert strokingwasbringingmerapidlytomyclimax,soclosethatIcouldbarelybreathe.Hismouthjoinedhisfingersinhistorment ofmypussy,histongueflickingandcirclingmyhardclit Shiversrusheddownmyspine,andIwrithedonthebed,desperate forrelease.

Ashislipsclosedovermyclitandsuckedlightly,Iexplodedoverhishand.Myjuicesdrenchedhisfingersandran downthebackofhishandleavingaslightshimmerintheirwake

“Damn,honey!”Heslippedmylegsoverhisshouldersandslidoffthebedtokneelonthefloor BeforeIevenhada chancetorelaxandenjoymyorgasm,histonguereplacedhishandasheburiedhisfacebetweenmylegs.Histonguedarted intome,workingashewouldhiscock,dartinginandout,thrusting.

Thefirewithinmequicklyreignited Thesoundsofhimashelappedupmyjuicesweredrivingmenearlyinsanewith need.

“PleaseCole,Ineedyourdick.Please…”Ibegged,buthewasrelentless.

“Comeformeoncemoreandyoucanhavewhatyouwant,”hemurmuredagainstmymound.

Igroanedinfrustration Eventhevibrationsofhiswordsagainstmythrobbing,moistpussyincreasedthefirewithinme toalmostunbearableheights.Histonguefeltsogood,butIwantedmore, needed more.

Mygroinbuckedwildlyagainsthismouth.Iwasmomentsawayfrombeingovertakenbyyetanotherorgasm.Mybody tensed,mypussyclenchingaroundhisinsistenttongueuntilIexplodedintohismouth Ihadtoclampmyjawtighttokeepfrom cryingouthisnameandsummoninganotherintrusiveknockfromtheguardsoutside

HegreedilylappedupmyjuicesasIlayspentonthemattress,pantinghardandbaskinginthefeelofhistongueover myheatedflesh.Whenhewassatisfiedthathe’dgotteneverylastdropofme,Coleslidmylegsoffhisshouldersandclimbed backontothenarrowbedwithme,holdingmeclose

Despiteexperiencingback-to-backorgasms,lookingoveratColeandfeelinghisheatedbodyandhardcockagainstme hadmelongingformoreofhim.Pushinghimontohisback,Istraddledhiships.

“Nowwillyoufuckme?”Iasked,givinghimacoysmileandflippingmyhairovermyshouldersohecouldgetagood viewofmybreasts

Reachingup,hishandspalmedmytits,kneadingthefleshandpinchingmynipplesbackintohardenedpeaks.Moaning softly,myheadfellback,causingmygoldenhairtocascadedowntomylowerbackandlightlygrazehisthighs.

Graspinghiscockinmyhand,Ibeganstrokinghimwhileslippingtheheadbackandforthbetweenmyheatedandeager pussylips ItwasCole’sturntogroan,louderthanIhad,butsurprisinglyenoughtheguardsdidn’tseemtooconcernedabout him.Noknockcame.

“Tellmehowmuchyouwantit,”Idemanded,liftingmyheadbackuptopeerdownathim.Itwasmyturntoteaseand torment,andIintendedtotakeadvantageofeverysecondofit

“I’vewantedyousincethefirstdayyoucametoseeme.”

“Mmmm,”Ilickedmylowerlip,keepingmygazelockedontohis.“And...”

“AndIcameeverynightimagininghowgoodandhowtightyourlittlepussywasgoingtofeelwhenIhadthechanceto experienceit”

Ilovedthatanswer.Placinghiscockatmyentrance,Itookinthehead.Itookhimin,forjustaninstantIpulledhim backoutandcontinuedwiththetorment,slippingitbackandforthbetweenmypussylips.Ifullyintendedtomakehimsufferas hehadme

“MyGod,that’storture,honey,”hegrowled,hishandsleavingmybreastsandgrippingmyhips,attemptingtoimpale

meonhiscock.

“Sowhenyougetout,howoftenareyougoingtofuckme?” Colechuckled.“Anywhere,anytime,foraslongasyouwant.”

Ismiled.“Goodanswer.”WithoutanotherwordIslammedmyselfdownontohiscock,takinghiminfully,andthen wiggledmyhips,takingtheremainingtinypartofaninch.

“That’sperfect,takeitallinandrideme Ridemycock,honey,”heurged,hishandsonmyhipssettingthepaceofmy thrusts.

Rockingonhim,IbeganrotatingmyhipsincircularmotionsasImovedupanddownonhismassivecock.EachtimeI moveduponhim,Iwouldpullalmostcompletelyoutbeforeslammingbackdownontohim,creatingafaintslappingnoise My breastsjiggledandbouncedfromthevigorousmotions

HiscockfitsoperfectlyinsidemethatIwouldswearitwasmeantespeciallyforme.Witheachupanddownmotion, hiscockrubbedmyinnerwalls,bringingmecloserandclosertoyetanotherorgasm.Thewavesofpleasurethatcamerushing throughmewerebecomingsointensethatIbegantofeellightheaded,butIdidn’tstop Couldn’tstop Hisgroansurgedmeto keepgoing.

“Dammit,that’sgood,Bre.Sogood,”hemoaned,hishandstighteningonmyhips,forcingmedowntighterandtighter. “I’msoclose!”

“Good”Hehadbarelygottenthewordoutwhenhisbodytensedagainstme,hisdickthickening Hisseedshotdeep intomycore;pummelingmyinnerwallswasenoughtosendmespiralingovertheedgewithhim.

“Fuccck!”Icriedoutasmypussyclenchedtightlytohiscockandthenreleased,floodingitwithmyjuices.Completely spent,mysmallerframecollapsedoverhis

Cole,alsostillreeling,circledhisarmsaroundmywaistandpulledmetightlytohim AsIsnuggleduptohim,content inhisarms,hebroughtmebacktofullattentionthesecondhespoke.“Bre,I’mfallinginlovewithyou,”heconfessed. Timeseemedtostop,andIgavemyheadalittleshake.HadIjustimaginedwithI’dheard?I’dfelthurtwhenhehadn’t reciprocatedmyproclamationearlier,butit’sbeenarockyroadforusandIwantedhisfeelingstobegenuine,notjustto appeaseme.

MyheartbegantoraceasIlookedupandintohiseyes.I’dneverhavethoughtfallingforsomeoneinthismanner wouldbepossible.Hell,afterIwasleftfordeadbymyex-fiancé,I’dseriouslydoubtedI’deverfallinlovewithanyman everagain ButhereIwasinabeat-upoldtrailer,whichstankofsexandmold,cuddledinthearmsofthemantowhomIfeltI owedmylife,andfallingdeeplyinlove.No,scratchthat.Therewasnodoubtaboutit;Iwasinlovewiththemanwhokilled myex.

“Thatmakesmyheartfeelsogoodtohear YouknowIfeelthesameway”Iloweredmylipstohisbutwasinterrupted bythesoundIwasdreading:aloudbangonthedoorofthetrailer

Angryandfrustratedthattheguardswouldn’tjustmindtheirownbusinessandleaveusalonefortheshortthreehours wehadtogether,IwasabouttoyellforatleastthethirdtimesinceI’darrivedthatIwasfinewhenItooknoticeoftheclockon thewallandgasped

Colefollowedmylineofsighttotheclockandfrowned.“Wehavetohurryandgetdressed.Iheartheyaren’tshyabout cominginwhenthetimeisupandwehavelessthantenminutes.”

Shit!Howdidthreehoursgobysoquickly?Withadepressedsigh,IslidoffCole.Alreadymissingthefeelofhim closetome,Igottomyfeetandquicklybegandressing Colefollowedsuit Afterdressing,Iglancedattheclockagain;we hadthreeminutesleftbeforetheguardscameafterus.

Onceclothed,Irushedintohisarms,holdingtightlytohimandtryingtoimprintthefeelofhiminmymind.

“It’sonlygoingtobeamonthorso,andthenwecantryourhandatanormallife”Colehookedafingerundermychin andforcedmyeyesuptolookathim “Anormaldate,normalsexwithoutpeoplelisteningatthedoor Justanormalcouple

livingaboringlife.”

Asmilecreptontomyface “IthinkIcouldgrowtolikenormal” “Good,thennormalwe’llbe.”

ThefinalknockthatIhadbeendreadingsounded,followedbytheunlatchingofthelockonthedoor.

Coleleanedoverandkissedmegently.“Soon,”hewhisperedagainstmylipsasthedoorwasflungopen,revealingthe twomaleCOsandOfficerRizzo

“Allrightlovebirds,timeisup.Comeonout,MissSutten.”Theolderheftierofficermotionedwithhishandformeto exitashespoke.“OfficerRizzowillescortyouout.”

“Soon,”IparrotedasIreluctantlysteppedoutofhisembrace,tearsbrimmingmyeyes,andbeganwalkingtowardthe opendoorway

Exitingthetrailer,IsniffedasIforcedmyselfnottoturnbackaroundforfearI’dbegingettingemotionalagain.Instead, IfollowedOfficerRizzobackoutthewaywe’dcome,neitherofusspeakingandmefeelingbothsadanduncomfortable.I mean,whatwouldwehavetotalkabout?AsIreachedtheexit,OfficerRizzobrokethesilence “CanIaskyouaquestion, MissSutten?”

Inodded,hopingshewasn’tgoingtopryorasksomethingthatwouldmakemebreakdowninfrontofher.“I suppose...”

“Isitworthit?Iscominghereeveryweekandsacrificinghavinganormal,realrelationshipwithagoodmantobewith afelonworthit?”

Iwastooemotionallyexhaustedtobeoffendedbythequestion.Lookingtheofficersquareintheeyes,Ididn’thesitate inmyanswer “Withoutadoubt,OfficerRizzo He’s worthit”

Cole

Betweenourfewhourstogetherandtheinformationshedumpedontome,itwasalottoprocess AsifIneededmore onmymindatthemoment.Mymindwasconsumedwiththeparolehearing.AftermytimewithBreannaIwantedevenmore desperatelyforittoworkout.

“Hurryup,”theguardgrowled,givingmeapush “Ihaveshittodo”

Icutmyeyestohimanddidn’tanswer,butIdidincreasemypaceacrossthecourtyardandinthroughthesteeldoors thattookmeintotheheartofthesuckagain.Theguardsandprisonusedavarietyofmethodstokeepusinline,buthavingthe conjugalvisitmademeevenmoreeagertogetoutofhere.I’ddoanythingtomakeithappen.

“She’sahotlittlenumber Probablyhasahalfdozendickslinedupforherontheoutside”

Igrittedmyteeth,refusingtobegoaded.Brianhadawayabouthim.Fuckerlovedtogettheinmatesriledup, especiallywhentheyhadparolehearingscomingup.Hewasn’tgoingtoruinmyparole.

“Didyouhearme?”

“Heardyou,Boss”

“Whatdoyouthinkaboutthat?”

“Nothoughts.”

Hechuckled.

Motherfucker Itwouldgivemeimmensesatisfactiontokicktheshit-eatinggrinoffhissmugface Butnotreactingwas evenworseforhim.Hewantedareasontousethebatonortaseronme.

Notgoingtogetwhathewantedfromme.

Aswepassedthecellstherewerecatcallsandyelledvulgaritiesfromtheotherinmates.Theyallknewwherethedoor ledandwhatcominginfromthatdoormeant Iignoredthem

TheNavyhadtaughtmetoignoregoading,butnothingquitetoughensyouuplikeprison.IsometimeswonderedifI evenhadheartenoughanymoretoallowBreannaintoloveherfully.Iwantedto.

Ijustdidn’tknow

Theprisonwasamazeoftwistsandturnsofcagesofmen,butwefinallyreachedmycageonthesecondfloor Openingthedoor,hegavemeapushintothecellandslammedthedoorbehindme.

“Yourboyfriendhasbeenmissingyou.Maybeyoucanlethimlickyourgirl’spussyjuiceoffyourcock?”Hechuckled athiscrudejokeandsaunteredoff

“Dickhead,”Imutteredundermybreathasmycellmatesethisbookasideandsatuponthelowerbunk,lookingupat me.IfeltbadforJamal;hewashereonasecond-degreemurdercharge.Twenty-fiveyears.Ifhe’dbeenwhiteinsteadofa blackinner-citykid,underthecircumstancesthatIknewthem,he’dhavegottententofifteen.Sentencedatthetenderageof nineteen Allofhisyouthwouldbegonebythetimehegotoutbecauseofsomebadchoicesmadeasakid Whenhecameinto thesystemayearagoandbecamemycellmate,Iendedupbecominghisfriendandconfidant,doingmybesttokeephimfrom thewrongcrowds.IworriedforwhatwouldhappentohimwhenIwasgone.I’dvisithimfrequentlyandhopehetookmy guidanceoverthepastyearandusedittogetthoughhistimerelativelyunscathed

IallowedmyselftosmileforthefirsttimesinceBreannaleftmymind,reenactingourtimetogetherandthefeelofher soft,fragrantskinagainstmine.“Amazing.”

“So?”Hisgrinwidenedasherubbedhishandstogether.“Letmehearthedeets.Howwasit?Don’tleaveanything out”

Laughing,Igrabbedtherailingofthetopbunkandswungmyselfup,lyingdownonmybackandlacingmyfingers behindmyhead.“I’mnottellingyoushit,brother.”

“Comeon,man.You’releavinginamonth.Sharethislastdetail.Don’tholdoutonmenow.”Hegotupfromthebunk andstood,turningtofaceme “Wasitincredible?”

Ishrugged.“Itwasokay.”

Hiseyesnarrowedatme.“Man,don’tbelikethat.I’dsharewithyou.”

“Iwouldn’twantyoutosharewithme”

“ButIneedsomethingtojackoffto”

“I’dratheryoudidn’t.Andthat’sreallyweirdmyfriend.”

“Bah.”Wavingadismissivehandatmeheplunkedhimselfbackdownonhisbed.“I’veseenherpictures.Icanmakeit upinmyheadanyhow”

“Disgusting.”

“Bro,andI’mgoingtodoitrightnow.”

“Jesus.”Shakingmyhead,Icouldn’thelpbutchuckle.MybunkmatewasoneofthefewthingsI’dmissaboutthis place Lessthanamonth TherewasnowayIwasgoingtodoanythingtofuckupthisrelease ComehellorhighwaterI’dbe walkingthroughthefrontgatesintothebeautifulandlovingarmsofBreanna.

~1monthlater~

Breanna

Asexpected,andtothereliefofbothColeandmyself,Cole’sparolewasgranted.Hislawyershadtoldhimitwasa slamdunk,butonethingwebothknewandhadexperiencedfirsthandinourliveswasthatevenslamdunkscouldhavea wrenchthrownintothem.Evennowwiththeparolegranted,Istillfeltscaredthatsomehoworsomewaytheparoleboard wouldchangetheirmind.Afightwouldbreakoutintheprisonandhe’dendupinthemiddleofit,renderinghisparolenull andvoid Somanythingscouldgowrong IrrationalIknow,butuntilIwasinhisarmsontheothersideofthoseheavily guardedprisongatesIrefusedtogetmyhopestoohigh

Butthatdidn’tmeanthatIwasn’tgoingtobepreparedforhisarrival,andthatmeantshopping.Ididn’thavethemoney tospendfrivolously,especiallywhenIwasgoingtoneedtosupportasecondpersonuntilhegotajob.However,Icouldbuya fewthingstomakeitfeelmoreathomeforhim,includingbuyingsomemen’stoiletriesandstockingthefridgewithsomefoods andbeveragesthatIknewheliked.

AndIwasn’tplanningondoingitalone.

IfhewasgoingtobeasignificantpartofmylifethenIneededtostartlettingpeopleclosetomeknowabouthimand us,whichledmetotheSunsetCafé,acutelittlebreakfastandlunchrestaurant Ihadweeklybreakfastherewithmybestfriend sincegradeschool.Theplanwastohavelunch,spillthetea,begherforgivenessforkeepinghimfromher,andthenhaveher accompanymeshopping.

IjusthopeditallwentwellbecauseifIcouldn’tgetAllisononboard,thenIwasabsolutelyfuckedwhenitcametomy family

Woulditmatterifmyfamilyobjected?

I’dcrossthebridgewhenthetimecame.

Enteringthecafé,IspottedAllisonimmediatelyinthebackcorner,onhermobilephonetextinglikeamadwoman No doubtgettingalittleworkdonewhilewaiting.TherewerealwaystwoconstantswithAllison:herworkasaninsurance adjusteralwayscamefirst,andshealwayshadtoarrivefifteenminutesearlyforanyandeverymeeting.

Sensingmyapproachshelookedup,herdarkeyeslookingintomine.Shegrinnedwhenshenoticedmeapproaching. “Goodmorning,babes!”

Returninghersmile,Igaveheraquickupanddownandlaughed.“Alwayshavingtooutdome,Isee.”Shelooked amazing.Shealwaysdid.Idon’tthinkI’deverseenherleavethehousewithoutafacefullofexpertlyappliedmakeupandher short,darkhairstyledinaperfectlyimperfectpixielook

“Ohplease You’renaturallystunning Ihavetoworkatit”

“You’retookind.”Slippingintothechairoppositeheratthesmalltwo-persontable,Islungmyhandbagonthebackof thechairandgaveabrieflookatthemenueventhoughIalreadyknewwhatIwasgetting.

Oncewefinishedordering,shegavemethelookI’dgetfromherwhenshefeltIwasuptosomething Sheknewmetoo well.

Keepingthissecretfromherhadbeeneatingatmemoreandmorewitheachpassingmonth.

Sittingbackinherchair,shecrossedherarmsoverherchestandwaited.“Sowhat’sthetea?Spillit.”

Takingasipfrommyglassofwater,Itriedtofigureoutthebestwaytostarttellinghereverything Fromthebeginning Isupposed.

“TherehasbeensomethingI’vebeenkeepingfromyou.Fromeveryonehonestly,andIwantedyoutobethefirstto know”

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He's No Good For Me Towers

TableofContents

He’sNoGoodForMe

Excerptfrom: OppositesCollide

Willow

He’sNoGoodForMe

TerryTowers

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Chapter1

Chapter2

Cole

Chapter3

Chapter4

Cole

Chapter5

Cole

Breanna

Ijustdidn’tknow

Breanna