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DEMONLORD’SLITTLEHUMAN ADARKFANTASYMONSTERROMANCE ANNEHALE CELESTEKING PROTHEKAPUBLISHING Copyright©2024byCelesteKing
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DEDICATION This bookis dedicated to Kaylee, Emily, Taylor, Jordon, Melanie, Jamie, Jennifer, Hannah, Donna and the whole “Project Protheka”family.Thanksforbelievingintheworld.
BOOKSINTHEWORLDOFPROTHEKA OrcWarriorsofProthekaSeries MatesoftheBurningSunClanSeries DarkElvesofProthekaSeries Thoruk’sPrize:AMonsterRomance Naga’sofProthekaSeries Minotaur’sofProthekaSeries Demon’sofProthekaSeries VampiresofProtheka GargoylesofProtheka
THEWORLDOFPROTHEKA RACHEL swearthisschoolwasdesignedtotortureus.”
Myla and I walk up flights and flights of bland stone stairs The air is heavy with smoke fromthe fires in every classroom,nicelittleatmospherepiecesfortheelveswhocancoolthemselveswithmagicbutunbearableforthoseofus whohavetoenduretheheat.Itmakesbreathingchallengingatpoints,andIheaveandraspasIstruggleupthestairs.
“You’rebeingmelodramaticasalways,Rachel,”Mylasays,grippingtherailingforaddedstability
She’salwaysbeensomuchmoreathleticthanme,nomatterhowmuchItry.Aftertenflightsofwalking,shehasn’tbroken asingledropofsweat She’snotstrugglingtostayalivelikeIam
Asharppaincutsthroughmyribs.
“Trytokeepperspective,”shesays “It’snotallthatbad”
Icanhearthefirescracklingintheroomswithopendoorsaswemeanderthroughhallwaystogettoourclassroom.Bitsof dialoguefromclassescatchmyearsandpiercemysoul.
“Sometimes,youmightthinkthisworldisunfair,”ProfessorAndrassaysaswepassbyhisclassroom “Butit’simportant toknow yourplace.WeareallcreationsoftheThirteen,andtheycreatedthedarkelvesintheirownimage.Thus,youwere broughtheretoserve,andmustremembertoactwithhumility”
I’malmostafraidthathe’llseeme.Icanfeelhisconstant,judgingdiatribesreplayinginmymind,andadeeppitentersmy stomach ButIfeelMylatuggingatmyarmasweexittheviewofthedoor,momentsbeforeIcollidewithMissRose
Thepainisimmense.Herfigureissomuchsturdierthanitlooks,andinhittingher,myforeheadhitssolidbone.
MyheartleapsoutofitsbodyasIseeherwrathfulvisage,sowell-composedbehindlayersofmakeup.Shehasastoicism that,tountrainedeyes,mighthideherintentions,butI’veonlyeverknownhercalmaspurehatred Shecomposesherselfbeforeslappingmehardacrossthecheek.Thenoisereverberatesinmyears,andall mymindcan focusonistheimmensepainricochetingthroughit
“WhathaveItoldyouaboutkeepingyoureyesforward?”shesnaps. Mymindistornintofragments.
Isee mymother, planted inbed and unable to leave. Ina momentofturmoil, Iamtransported backto thatdamp, dreary bedroom,wherehersterngazeplantsitselfuponme,andmyfeetarestuntedinplace,trapped.
Images of my mother, decaying in real-time, flash in my eyes I can see Miss Rose and know that she expects me to apologize,butmymouthisunabletoformsolidwords,acoldsweatpouringdownmyforehead.
Mylawantstointerjectandprotectme,butsheknowsthatyouspeakonlywhenspokentohere
“Utterlyuseless,”MissRoseadmonishes.“Well,you’rebothfiveminuteslate,soyou’llhavetobedisciplinedlater.” We bothtrail her pastthe emptyrooms and cracklingfireplaces backinto her classroom. The girls all stare atus as we enter.Theirblank,relentlessgazespushmetorecoil,remindingmeofmymother.
Mymindispressuredtodoanythingasweenter…Tostandupformyself,toact,torun…ButIcannotcompelittomove mybody,soIslumpforwardtomydesk
Ihunchover,puttingmyhandonmychinandmyelbowonmydesk,butnosoonerhaveIsatdownthanIseeMissRose’s hawklikevioleteyessearingintome Herrecognizablegrimaceandleveleyebrowsconcealabarelyvisiblescowl Asusual,I’mthetargetofhercontempt.
“Remember,girls,”shechirpsinaforciblypleasanttone.“Wedon’tslouchinthisclassroom.”
Closingmyeyes to prepare for the painful transitiondoes nothing Myeyelids are forced open, and myhead is twisted towardthechalkboard.
Icanhearmyspinecracking,myhipsbendingupward Myarmscontort,movingmyelbowfrommydeskdowntomywaist.
Myneckstraightenswithmyspine,twistingmybodyintoreadiness.
Ilimber up, because Iknow thatifIdon’t, mybones could breakand mytendons could tear. There’s no resistingMiss Rose’smagic
She’dcontroloureverythoughtifshehadtheoption.
Onthe chalkboard,now directlyinfrontofmyeyes whichhave beenpriedopenbyher magic,are obscene diagrams of humanandelvenanatomy.
“Now,”MissRosesays “Whocantellmethemajordifferencesbetweenhumansandelves,biologically?”
Shetakesoutalongwoodenswitchandslapstheboardwithit,promptingourattentionwithit.
Shecancontrolmyeyes,butshecan’tcontrolmymind.
“Elvesarenaturallytallerthanhumans?”
“Verygood, Lis!” Miss Rose slaps the switchonto a diagramonthe chalkboard. “Yes, as youknow, elves are far more physicallypresentthanhumans They’rebulkierandfartaller Thatmeans,ashumanwomen,youneedtobemorephysically resoluteandstrong.”
Icanfeelmymindslippinginbetweentheworldoftheclassroomandofmypast
MissRosehasalwaysdenigratedmyeasilydistractedmind,claimingthatit’sasignofearlyinsanity.
Andgivenwhathappenedtomymother,I’minclinedtoagree.
“Whatisyourrole,ashumanwomentoyourelvenhusbandsandowners?”MissRoseaskstheclass It’ssuchanobviousquestion,evenIcouldanswerit.AssumingMissRoseallowedmetomove,thatis.It’sbeendrilled intoourheadssincedayone
“Comenow,”MissRosechidestheclass.“It'snotatrickquestion.Don’tbeshy.”
Mylaraisesherhand,andIthinkofmymom’sshakinghandsasshestruggledtoholdanythinginherfinaldays.Ithinkof howmuchItriedtocareforher,force-feedingherwhenshewasnolongerabletofeedherself.
Butthemoreshelosttouchwithreality,themoreparanoidshebecame.Somedays,she’dfightme,unabletotrustmeor recognizewhoIwas Otherdays,shesawthingsintheroomIcouldn’t Ioftenwonderwhatshesaw.
“Thetruthisthatweelvesdon’treproduceasfast,orasoften,asyouhumansdo,”MissRosesays “There’snoshamein admittingthat.You’reverygoodathavingelvenbabies,whichiswhyyou’rehere,ultimately.Wefosterobedienceinyouso thatyoucanmakeaverygoodwifeforanelf.”
Sheflipstothemoreobscenediagramsandbeginstotalkaboutsexualpositionsandhowtoadjustourbodiestobestsuit thelargerphysiquesofdarkelves.
IwishIcouldpayattention Occasionally,Ifindmyeyesturningtowardtheburningfireplace ThenIimmediatelyfeelmy neckshiftingmagicallybacktowardthechalkboardasIseeMissRose’ssmolderingglareburningthroughme.
Sometimes,IfeellikeMissRose’sroleisn’tasmuchtoteachusasitistobendandbreakusintoabsolutecomplianceso thatourmindsareblankandourbodiesareready.
We’retoldthatbecausewe’renaturallysmaller,weshouldletourpartnersthrowusaround,slammingusontotablesand intowalls
We’retoldthatattimes,itmightfeel likeourpartnersarehurtingus,butitreallyamountstoanatomical differences.Our partnerswillalwaysmeanwell,andanyaggressionisjustasignofnaturaldominance
Atmanypoints duringthelecture,Miss Rosepoints her focus towardanother student,punishingandcallingthemoutfor slouchingorfortalkingduringthelecture
Whentheyslouch,shestraightensthemup,bendingtheirbodybackintoform.
Weknowit’swrongtoslouch.Itshowsdisrespect,andbadposturedestroysourbodies…Bodieswe’remeanttoofferto ourpartners
Andwhenwetalk,Miss Roseremoves our abilitytospeak,sometimes encasingus inaconeofsilence,andother times removingourmouthsentirely
“Now, ladies,” Miss Rose often says before resorting to extreme measures. “I’m sure you all have interesting conversations ButIexpectopenmindsandopenears”
Thelectureends.
IthinkIcansneakoutthedoorbeforeMissRosetargetsmeagain,butjustasmyhandisonthedoorknobandIcansmell freedom,whichsmellsalotlikethesuffocatingfireplace,MissRoseswingsthedooropen Istepforward,seeingmyopportunitybutultimatelyquestioninghergenerosity.
Sheslamsthedooronme,crushingmyhandintheenclosure Icryoutinpain.
“Now,now,Rachel,”MissRosesays.“ItoldyouIwantedtospeakwithyou,sowon’tyoupleasecomehere?”
Theothergirlspretendnottonoticemeastheyscurryoutthedoor.
AsMylarushesoutoftheclassroom,IwonderwhyMissRoseisnotchastisingher.
Mychestbecomestight,mybreathingshallow,andmymindrusheswithirrationalthoughtsasmorepainfulmemoriesflood backtome.
Irememberthatinthetimesbeforeshebecamebedridden,mymotheroftenexperiencedthesefeelings,too AndsoItryto calmmyselfsothatIwon’tmeetthesamefateshedid.
MissRoseguidesmetoaseat,andI’mgratefulthatatleastthistime,she’snottakingmebacktoheroffice Simplysitting downbecomespainfulafter those meetings,muchlesskeepingaproperposture.
“Idon’tunderstand,Rachel,”MissRosesays Hereyesportraycompassion,butIknowbetterthantotrustit Shepresses metoanswer,hereyesneverleavingme.
“Whatdon’tyouunderstand,MissRose?”
“Youshow suchamazingpotential, butyouwaste itonconstanttardiness I’mtold your mother’s priorities shifted, too, beforeshefelltolunacy.”
Myvoicecracks “I’msorry,MissRose” She sighs. “I’mmostlythinkingabout your happiness, and your mate’s, ofcourse,” she says. “What would your partner thinkofyourpunctualityproblems?”
“Idon’tknow,MissRose.I’msorry.” Shegrimaces.“Seethatitdoesn’thappenagain.”
Inod “Ofcourse,MissRose” Assheallowsmetoleave,myhandthrobs.
I’mgratefulthatshedidn’treprimandmephysically,butIcan'thelpbutwonderifperhapsherpunishmentsarebecoming moresubtlesomehow.
RACHEL Myturniscomingup.
IsupposeIdon’thaveanythingtobeafraidof Thesemeetingsarereallynothingmorethanaformality,anannoying inconveniencetomostofus.
Butthere’sapitinmystomachthattellsmemaybeI’llgetpicked.
Inmydefense,though,Ithinkthatfear is there everytime,nomatter how manytimes it’s provenredundant Isleepvery little,dreadingthatI’llbechosen,onlytofindoutthatonceagain,Icanfallasleepsoundly,droolingonmypillow.
“Aren’tyouexcited?”
We’veformedalineoutsideasmall,barelyusedclassroom,andnowLisistryingtotellmethisisajoyousoccasion. Isimplyshrug,unabletoformwordstodayconsideringhowdrymymouthis
Mylagripsmyshoulder,knowingthatI’mgreatlydiscomforted.Thisneutralbrownhallwayterrifiesmeforsomereason.
“Imean,IknowIprobablywon’tgetpicked,”Lissays.“ButwhatifIdo?Wouldn’tthatbe awesome?”
“Youmeanyouwanttobesomedarkelf’smate,”Icatchmyselfasking,howeverhoarsely IsupposeIshouldn’tbesurprised.
“Yeah,”Lissays “Don’tyou?”
Idon’twanttosayanything,becausetalkingtoLiscanbeaboutthesameastalkingtoatree,butsomethingabouttheway she’sgazingintomeexpectantlycompelsmetoanswerher
“Notreally,”Isayhonestly.
Idon’tgomoreindepththanthat,knowingthatsayingthewrongthingherecanhaveseriousramifications. “What’swrongwithyou?”
ThequestionisphrasedwithaferocityandacandorIdon’texpect.
“I mean, that’s like the whole reasonwe’re here, isn’t it?” Lis asks “Surelyyoudon’t want to hangaround this place forever.”
Shehuddlesabitclosertome,breakingintoawhisper.“Youknowwhattheydotothewomenwhodon’tgetpicked,don’t you?”
Andthereitis.
Myeyeswiden,tryingtoprocessLis’sparticularbrandofcrazy Ireallyhopeshedoesn’tkeeptalking “Iheardtheyburytheminthefrontcourtyard,”Liswhispers,lookingouttheonlywindowvisibletous,whichnowpours inwithabrightyellowlightthatsomehowrendersthehallwayduller “Butthatcan’tberight,canit?”
Istiffenmyposture,lookingaroundtoavoidengagingwithLis.Idon’twanttoberude,butIalsocan’treallydealwithher atthemoment.
ButthenIseesadnessandfearinhereyes.“Probablynot,Lis.” “Oh.”
Iknow Ihaven’treallyconvincedherandthatshe’llbelievewhatevershewantstobelieve Ifthere’sanurbanlegendin thisschool…Ifanybodypicksup any bitofinterestingtriviaormisinformation…Lisistheretolisten. Andwithsomuchtimeontheirhands,thegirlsinthisschoolhavealmostnothingbetterthantocomeupwithstories,both remarkableandridiculous.
“Iwouldn’tmindbeingpicked,”Mylasays.
Iwhiparoundtostareather,havingalmostforgottenthatshewasrightbehindmeandalsostartledthatshe,theoneperson whogroundsmeinmylifehere,wantstoleave.
Idon’thavetopressheronit Shecanreadmelikeatextbook
“Thisplaceis…fine,”shesays.“ButI’mreadytomoveon.I’vebeenherelongenough.”
“Youwouldn’treallyjustleavemehereandgowithsomeguy,wouldyou?”Iaskher. Theideaoffendingformyselfisterrifying,andnowIhaveanotherthingtodread.
“Ofcoursenot,”shesays,smiling “I’msureI’dbeabletotalkhimintotakingyou,too We’reapackagedeal,youandI” Inod,knowingthatshe’sjustsayingittocomfortme.
Thedoorswingsopen
Atallblondegirlcomesrunningout,wailingasshecriesintoherarm.
Aftersquinting,IrecognizeherasJuliaasshepassesmeinthehallwayandslamsthedoortoanotheremptyclassroom IalwaysusedtoenvyJulia.Ifiguredifanybodywasgoingtobetakeninbyawealthybenefactor,itwouldbeher.
Toseehersoutterlybrokenlikethisismorethanalittledisturbing.
MissRosestepsout,andIcanheartheroaringfireplacefromwithintheroomnow SheclearsherthroatsomewhatawkwardlyandlooksatLis.
“Lis,”shesayswithanalmostuncannyimitationofkindness “It’stime”
Liswalksin,smilingfromeartoear,thoughIknowdreadsecretlycreepsupsomewherebehindit. “Wishmeluck!”
“Goodluck,”Mylarepliesjoyously. Isaynothing.
Shestridesinwithanattemptatperfectgait,butshenearlyslipsandbreaksherheel
MissRosestandsfirmlyatthedoorwithherarmscrossed,clearlyunwillingtointerveneshouldLiseatthewoodenfloor. AsshegoestoslamthedoorbehindLis,Iswearshesendsmeanothercold,patronizinglook
Thehallwaysarequiet.
Ioftenhate talkingtoLis,butatleastherconversationspassthetime. IknowthatI’mupnext.Inmymind,Icanseethesandfallingslowly. Oneminute.
Twominutes
“Doyouthinkshe’sokayinthere?”IaskMyla,whoiscurrentlystrugglingnottofallasleepinthehallway. Clearly,shedidn’tsleepthatwell,either “Hardtosay.”
Inherpostureandinherfacialexpression,Icanseeacoldnessandadistancethatwasn’ttherebefore. Isshetakingthissoseriouslythatsheseesmeasacompetitornow? WhileIturntofaceher,thedoorcreaksopen.
“GuessIbettergopackmythings!”
Turningaround,IseeanexcitementonLis’sfacethattellsmeshemusthavebeenpicked.
“Hepickedyou?”Ican’thidethepuzzlementfrommyvoice “Don’tsoundsosurprised!”
MissRoseisstandinginthedoorframenow.
Ifeelreliefovertakingme,mybodybecominglimberatthethoughtthatyetagain,I’llbeabletosleepsoundly Nexttime,I’mnotgoingtoworrysomuch.It’sreallynotworththestress. “Rachel,”MissRosesays “Whydon’tyoustepinside?” Iturntoseehersmilingwithakindofmockingsneer.
Liscocksaneyebrow,staringatmeinconfusionasIcrossthethreshold EvenMyla’seyesarefrigidlyfixatedonmeasI enter.
“Doyourbest,”IthinkIhearherwhisper. EvenifIdesperatelydon’twanttobeselected EvenifIknowthatI’mnotgoingtobechosenbecauseLishasclearlyalreadybeentoldasmuch… Ican’tblow this Iknow whatMiss Rose is capable ofshould she find outIamintentionallysabotagingmyselfand her business.
We’relittlemorethancommoditiestoher
Icarrymyselftotheseatacrossfromatalldarkelf.Heishandsomeinanaristocratickindofwayandremindsmeofmany ofthemorewell-to-doelvesI’veseen.
AndIcanbarelybringmyselftomeethiseyes
“Rachel,”MissRosesays.“ThisisThirixion.He’scomeallthiswaytomeetyou.Isn’tthatsplendid?”
Ofcourse,by‘you’shereallymeansallofthegirlsatourschool Regardless,Iraisemygazeinanattempttoappeaseher “Youbroughtmeashyone,”Thirixionsayssuddenly.
He’sgotawickedgrinonhisface,andI’mimmediatelymoreterrified. “Rachel,”MissRosepressuresme.
Ihavenoideawhattosay.Inmymind,Iplayoutdozensofquestions,butnoneofthemmakeanysense.
“Nah,it’sokay,”Thirixionsays.“There’snothingbetterthanbreakinginashy,innocentvirgin.Standupforme.” I stand without hesitation, thinking that he wants to look over my body before making an offer. Humiliation stains my cheeks
Hestandsupunexpectedly,andbeforeIrealizeit,he’sstandingmerefeetawaywithhisopenpalmextended. Heslapsmehardontheass IcanfeelthestingingpainresonatingthroughmeasIstruggletostaycoherent “Notouchinganyofourgirlsbeforeyoupurchasethem!”MissRosesnapstomydefenseasIfighttheurgetomassagemy tenderflesh
ButthenIrememberthatshe’snotonourside.Thisisstrictlybusinessforher. Helaughsrathermorbidlyashecrowdsclosertome,attemptingtointimidatemewithhispresence. Igulp Icanseehimoutofthecornerofmyeyesnow,waitingformetodosomething anything Whendidthisstopbeingaconversation?
“Whatdoyoudoforaliving,Thirixion?”Iaskhimsuddenly,attemptingtostillmyselfashemovesbacktohisseatandI returntomine.
I’velearnedtoexpecttheworstfromthisman
“TheonlyjobthatIcareaboutisbreakingyouin,”Thirixiongrowls. Mystomachturns.
Iwonderifitwasthisunpleasantforallthegirls,orifhe’sjustsingledmeoutinparticularforsomereason Giventhatthere’s little aboutme that’s special, I’mchoosingto believe thatall ofthe girls had to endure this, and that calms me somewhat There’s some strength in solidarity Later on, maybe we’ll get to discuss this and talk about how ridiculousthismanis.
Buthedoeseverythinginhispowertomakethisasmiserableaspossible. WhenIgetcomfortable,heleapsoutatmetostartlemeand‘keepmeonmytoes’. WhenIaskhimaquestion,heeitherdeflectsitentirelyorcounterswithasexquestiontoembarassme. Bytheendofit,I’mcompletelyconfidentI’vebombedtheinterview I’mrelievedtobedonewiththiself,thoughIdreadwhatMissRosemightdotomeasshesendsmeuptomyroom. Onmywayout,IswearIseedisappointmentcrossLis’sfaceasMylawhisperssomethinginherear
RACHEL Theroomisalldark,andItrytoremainquietasIheartheothergirlswhisperingandshufflingintheirbeds.
There’sananxietythatpermeatesmythoughts Itparalyzesme
“Idon’tthinkhe’stakingme,”IhearLiswhisper,thoughtowhom,I’muncertain. “Ithoughtyousaiditwasadonedeal,”Mylarepliesthroughhushedtones. Ihearseveralclicksandafireappears,illuminatingElindine’sface
Shebringsthefirestartertothecandleonthecommontable,andtheroomisvisibleagain.Outside,themoonburnsbright orange,afullorbhangingintheskyaboveus
Juliagroansandrollsaroundinherbed.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Lisasks She’sfullyuprightinbednow,staringdownatElindine “IfMissRoseseeswe’renotsleeping,she’sgoingtobeveryupset!”
“Obviously, none of us are gettinganysleep,” Elindine mutters. “So I figure it’s better for everybodyif we’re at least honestwithourselves”
Mylanodscautiously.Iknowhowmuchisonhermind,butshe’sneverbeenonetobreakmanyrules.
“Ihadagoodfeelingabouttheinterview,”Lismutters “ButnowIthinkhemighthavebeentoyingwithme” Elindinesighs.“Whattippedyouoff?”
There’s anair of sarcasminher voice Lis has never beengreat at detectingsarcasm, whichmight have beenwhyshe jumpedtothewrongconclusion.
“Everythinghe was sayingseemedreallynice andflattering,” Lis says.“Butnow thatI’mreplayingitinmymind,Ican stillrememberMissRoserollinghereyesateverythingIsaid Ithinkmaybehewasjustmakingfunofme!”
“Didhetrytogropeyou,too?”Mylaaskssuddenly.
Lisnods “Itriednottosayanything Iknow alotoftheelveswhocomethroughherecangetprettyhandsy,andIdidn’t wanttohurtmychances.Butitwasjust…toomuch.”
I’maghast.Ononehand,I’mappalledthatMissRosedidn’tdomoretointervene.Butonanother,there’sapartofmethat feelsalittlelessspecial,knowingthatIwasn’ttheonlyonehetriedtohandle.
AndIburythatpartofmyselfinshame,refusingtoacknowledgeitoutloud.
“Still,”Elindinesays “Hecouldhavebeenworse,right?”
That’s aboutwhenIhear Julia roll over andsitupright.Ifigure she’s goingtotell us offfor talking,sinceshe’s beenso desperatelytryingtosleep Buttherearetearsinhereyesagain
MylanoticesbeforeIdo.
“Julia,what’swrong?”
She’ssuddenlybecomethefocalpointoftheentireroom.EverybodylovesJulia,eveniftheyneverreallywantedto.
Shedoesn’tsayanything,pursingherlipsindeepcontemplation.
“Areyougoingtotalk?”Mylaasks “Orarewegoingtohavetoforceitoutofyou?” “MissRosetoldhimaboutmyparents,”Juliasays.“Andhemadejokesabouthowtheydied.”
Silenceovertakestheroom
“Iknow heprobablymadefunofotherpeople’sparents,too,andstuff,butit’sstillfreshinmymind.SoIguessItookit reallyhard.”
Ishakemyhead
“That’sterrible,”Mylasays.
Therearealmostnowords
Inthatmoment,itfeelslikewe’reunitedbyoursharedtrauma.AllIcanhopeisthatweneverhavetoseehimagain.
“Didhe–”Juliastartstoask.
Mylashakesherhead,knowingwhatshe’sgoingtosay.
“No Justflirtedalittletoohard,gropedmeabit Soundslikeyouallhadamuchworsetime” Italmostforces metoreconsider myownexperiences.Giventhatsomanyother girls dealtwithsomuchmore,shouldI reallybethatupsetbyit?
Ican’tstopreplayingitinmymind.Ithinkhethreatenedtotakemeagainstmywill.
I’mjustgladthatMissRosestoppeditfromcomingtothat Ihearfootstepsoutsidesuddenly,walkingupthestairs.AndIknowitcanonlymeanonething. Everybodyelseintheroomjumpstoattention.
“Putthatlightout,”Mylahisses
Elindineblowsoutthecandle,throwingherselfbackintobedasweallpretendtobeasleep.
IfMissRoseisoutside,theonlyexplanationisthatshe’slookingtopunishoneofus,maybeallofus Fantastic job, girl,Ihearhersarcastic,wickedvoicesaying. You failed to turn a profit for me again! MymusclestenseasIconcealmyselfunderneathmyblanket
Shereallywasn’thappywithmeatallduringourinterview.SoallIcanthinkisthatifshe’scometodisciplineanybody,it mustbeme.Myhandthrobs,stillachingfromthedoorthatslammedonityesterday,andIcanseehergleefulexpressioninmy mindasshebroughtitdownuponme
Atfirst,thefootstepsstop,andIwonderifmaybewejustimaginedthenoise,orifMissRosehaschangedhermind. But the door swings open, and before I understand what’s happening, a glowing orb appears, illuminating the room magically.
IfIpretendtobeasleep,maybeshe’llgoaway.
Acrackfillstheairlikeanexplosion,aloudnoisereverberatingthroughtheroom. Almostinspiteofmyself,Ijumpup,afraidthatI’munderattack.
“Wonderfulnews,girls!”
IseethatI’mnottheonlyonestaringatthecenteroftheroom,whichisshiningsobrightlythatitlookslikedaylight. Everyothergirlintheroomisalsosittinguprightinbed,staringatMissRose She’sbroughtinatrolleywithalargebowl ofpuddingandseveralsmallcups.
They’reallpretendingtobegroggy.
“Oh,comenow,”MissRoseexclaims,“Iknowyouweren’tasleep!Icouldhearyououtside!” Ishakemyhead.NoteveninmydreamscanIescapeMissRose’scontrollingeyes. Tomyabjecthorror,shepushesthetrolleytowardme,herdementedeyesneverleavingmyform Icanthinkofwhatnewsshemightdeliverthatwouldbesopositive.
Wonderful news, girls!Today, we ’ re eating Rachel for breakfast! Myowndarkthoughtscausemetoshakemyhead.
“Rachel,youdidsuchagoodjobtoday,ourguestiscomingback!”
Silence
Ithink,inthatbriefmomentofshock,IhearagaspfromJulia.
“Thirixionlikedyousomuch,hewantstoseeyouagaintomorrow!”
Mythroatisdry,myheartpulsingwildly.IknowthatIshouldsaysomething,butIhavenoideawhat. He liked me?
WithhowmuchIwaschastisedduringthatentireencounter,Iwasalmostcertainhehatedme.Hashemistakenmeforone oftheothergirls?
Finally,Imanagetoutter,“G-good!”
“Itisg-good,”MissRosemocksme.“Butthemoneyhasn’tchangedhandsyet,soyou’dbetterputononefantasticshow tomorrow,or–”
She doesn’t finishher sentence. She just ends the thought withanuncannyimitationof a normal smile before gesturing towardthecart
“Anyway,digin!IfRacheldoesagoodjobtomorrow,maybethere’llbeanothersurpriseforallofyou!” Weeatthepuddingquickly.
It’snotfilling,andittasteslikeit’sbeenstoredforawhile Notonlyisthetastefairlybland,IswearIcatchhintsofother spicesandseasoningsthatshouldn’tbetiedtopudding.
Finally,sherollsthecartoutwithafewutterancesof‘seeyoutomorrow’and‘you’dbettergetplentyofsleep’ Thelightexitstheroomwiththecart,andweareleftagainindarknessonlybrightenedbythemoonoutside.
Ithinkwe’regoingtobed,andItossandturn,butthenIhearonesolitaryvoice.
“Ican’tbelievehepickedyou,”Lissays.“What’ssospecialaboutyou,Rachel?” Iconsidernotreplying.ButthenMyla,who’susuallyquicktoprotectandreassureLis,stepsin.
“You’retheonlyonewhoconsidersitablessing,”Mylasays.“Weshouldbecomfortingher,notputtingherdown.” IhearLisscoff.
There’safewmoremomentsofsilence,andIclosemyeyesbeforeJuliacontributestotheprolongedconversation “Ican’tbelievehe’scomingbackhere,”Juliasays. Andthethoughtofhimforcinghimselfuponmecrossesmymindagain Hewasreadytomakejokesaboutittoday.Who’stosayhewon’ttrysomething?
“Thatpuddingwasterrible,”Mylasays
Andeverybodyagrees.
“Still,”Elindinesays.“Ifyoudoagoodjobtomorrow,maybethatmeansMissRosewillgetoffallofourbacks?”
Thethoughtruminates,stirringinmymind
Sonotonlyismyownhappinesscontingentonmedoingagoodjobtomorrow,butIcouldbeprotectingtheothergirls,too. Fantastic
“Maybehestillwon’ttakeme?”
Iofferthesuggestiontotheroomfartoolate I’vebeenrunningthroughthepossibilitiesinmyheadsomanytimes,bythe timeIactuallysayanything,theroomisfilledwithsnoring.
Throughoutthenight,Itrymanytimes togettosleep.Idon’twanttolookunpleasantfor Thirixion–Ithinkthatwas his name–tomorrow,afterall
ButthemoreIforceit,themoreevasiveitbecomes.
Finally,I’mworndownbymyracingthoughts Theirlogicbecomeslesscoherentandmoretwisted,andIdriftofftosleep Inmydreams,IglanceatthefireplaceasIentertheclassroom.OnlyMissRosehasmeonaleash,draggingmeforwardon allfours.IseeThirixionjustfurtherdownintheclassroom,andonlythendoIrealizethatIamcompletelynude.
Thefireintensifies,andsoonThirixionbecomesorangeliketheflames.HegrowslargerandlargerasI’mdraggedbefore himtobeengulfed.
Hisfieryhandburnsmybackside,rubbingovermyflesh Hegetscloserandcloserwithhisfingerstomyentrance
“Now,now,”IhearMissRosesayinademonic,twistedimpersonationofhernormalvoice.“Notouching!” Buthervoicebeginstolaugh,andIrealizethatshehasnoplansofhelping Iwakeupinasweatthefollowingmorning,mysheetsclingingtightlytomybody.
Isigh,standingupbesidemybed.
“Okay,”Isaytomyselfundermybreath.“Herewego.”
DAKKA Iamroused bythe undulatingpull of beinglifted. I roll stiffly, waitingfor the movement to stop before I openmyeyes. Throughthehundredfacetsofmycrystalprison,Iseeherliftmetoherneckandfastenmeintoplace Sheisbeautiful
“Goodmorrow,SheWhoCarriesMe.Howlonghasitbeen?”Thereisnoanswer.Sheshowsnosignsofhavingheard me.Itisalwayslikethis.
Memoryisuselessinthisplace Iamboundinapendant,chainedtotheneckofmyBearer Atonetime,perhaps,myfirst Bearerknewofme,ensconcedathischestasatalisman.Thattimehaslongpassedifiteverexisted.
“Howdoyouwishtoproceed?”Iaskinanely Igleanresponsesfromtheelixirofherfearsthatfillsmyamulet,neverfrom words.
Runningherlong,taperedfingersthroughdarkhair,shemakesherselfpresentablebeforeherlookingglass “Wheredoyou takemetoday,Melantha?”Sheturnsfromtheglass,andthepoundingrhythmtowhichI’vegrownaccustomedfillsmyears.
We floatthroughthe air, stoppingto speakwiththe other females thatpopulate this place. Iamaware onlyofdistorted wordsandimagesthroughthesethick,glacialwalls Facesarestretchedandvoiceswarble
Thelightshiftsforamoment,strikingpainfullyacrossmyvision.Whenitisgone,wearesomewheredifferent.“Whereare we,Melantha?”Icall her Melantha,“darkflower,”becauseIhavenever heardher name I’msureothershavesaidit,butit hasnotreachedmehere.
The beatingtones grow louder inmyears, more insistent Anelongated figure approaches us and speaks indulcettones withsharpedges.ThebitterwineofMelantha’sanxietyflowsfreelyintomychasm.Icansmellit.Icantasteit.Itssmoothness oilsintomybelly,intoxicating.
Suddenly,herfearturnssourandacrid,smokygoodnessfillingmylungs Itenragesme Iloveit
“Strikeher!”Icommand.“Strikeherdownandexultinherdemise!”
SheWhoCarriesMesaysnothing
“Doyounotknowwhoyouare?”Ibeatonthewallsofmycagewithclosedfists,thenlayopenpalmsonthefacetnearest herheart.“YouareBeareroftheDemonDakka!YouwilldoasIsay!”
Isendathousandcursesthroughmyhandsintoherhearttonoavail.Shewillnotheed.
“Maytheheatofthesunsoftheuniversecometobearuponyourforehead!”Ishout.
Melanthashifts,raisingahandtoherhead,andherpainfillsmyhidingplacewithwetash,thedrossofaheartsentthrough thecrucible.
Thegritslidesbetweenmyteeth Itakepityonthepoorcreature,liftingthecurseandtastingthesweetreliefmixedwith theresidueofheragony.Shemaynotacknowledgeme,butonewayoranother,shewillunderstandthatsheismine.
The morningwears into the afternoon. The dullness of Melantha’s dailyrituals bleeds me dry. I make sport of sending minorcursesthroughthewallstoseehow farIcanthrow them.Mostpingofftheglossysurfacesandhitmelikesparksthat fizzleout.
Some,however,findashaftofweaknessandshootthroughtoinjectmyvictimswiththeirvenom Unfortunately,themostI canfitthroughtheseminusculefissuresiswhatseemstoamounttoapinpricktothisspecies.
Melanthaspends anexcessive amountoftime sittingattables inrows,staringata single figure atthe headofthe group Thisfigurewilldroneonforhours.“Melantha,leave!”Itry,butthisBearerisnotobedient.
“Melantha, scream!”Iyellather,palmsflattodeliverthefullstrengthofmyzeal.Instead,sheyelpsasifinpain.Theroom shifts,andtheglowofembarrassmentradiatesintomyhotbox
Melantha rises fromher seat,joltingme againstthe chainas she runs downa slimcorridor.Splashingwater onher face fromabasin,sheobservesherreflectioninaglass,talkingtoitwithgreatconcern
Sheshouldbetalkingto me.Thisgirlconfusesme.Theinterplayofweaknessandstrengthinherspiritisconfounding.She
avoidsthebruntofmyworstcurses,insteadreactingasifIgiveherminorheadaches.Butsherunsfromembarrassmentasifit burnedhermorethanIevercould.
One day, Ipromisemyself One day, I will escape and make her burn Excitementheatsmyblood Ilongtotakeherfor myself,morethananyotherBearerbeforeher.
True, Ido notremember muchbefore her Blurred images grow evenmore hazyinthe distantpast Butsurelyifanyone excitedsuchafrenzyofpassionforme,Iwouldremember.
Faces multiplyonce againas she leaves the roomandjoins a processionintoa dininghall Ihave never understoodthis partofMelantha’s existence. She spends hours eachdaygainingenergyfromorganic matter and the mindless chatter ofher peers.
“Melantha,explainthis tome,”Icommandfruitlessly Whydoesn’tshelisten?Evenifshecannothear me,itis as ifher brainisinuredtomyinfluence.Howdoesshehandletheoverwhelmingpowerofmypresence?
Iwonderbrieflyifmypowershavedimmedanddismissthethoughtimmediately Surely,itisthechamber Idonotrecall thepowerfulchaosmagicthatlandedmehere,butIfeelitbreaking,fadingawayasrocksbeforetheocean.Myexoduswillbe soon
The rare moments of happiness Melantha experiences are during these times of sustenance. She feels nothing in small bursts.Everybitasintoxicatingandintenseasherfearandsadness,herpleasureisasweetcordialthatenvelopsmeinitssoft embrace
“Iwillmakeyouhappy,”Iassureher,ridingthevibrationsofecstasytravelingthroughthelatticeworkofmystructure.
Nomatterhowintense,everyboutofannoyance,anger,andpleasurefadestoennui Somedays,Iamevencontenttobein this crystal cage.Itis better thanthe blandsleepthatfills mydays betweenhangingfromher neck.“Nolife butthe present, eh?”Iaskthevoid.
EvenifIweretobefreedfromthechainthatbindsmetoMelantha,Iwouldstaywithher.HerstrengthIwouldcultivate, herweaknessIwouldabolish.ShewouldsatisfymeandIher.Iamthrilledattheprospect.
“What’s happening?” Suddenly, Melantha’s anxietyfloods me withsensationyetagain, butthis time it’s different Sharp needlesofterrorraindownonme,andIattempttofeelthenewpresencethroughtheintensityofheremotions.
Melanthaistakenbytheelongatedfigureintoanemptyroomandleftthere Herskinsizzleswithfearfulexpectancy Ican hearitpoppingagainstthewallofmychamber.
TheLongOnereturnswithaninsidiousmalepresence.Malesarefew andfarbetweeninMelantha’sworld,andnoneof themarethreatening.Theyoccupysomeofthespacesattheheadsofthetablerows,butrarelymore.
Thismale,ontheotherhand,isnewtome.ThecracklingpressurethatdescendsinblackwavessuggestsMelanthahasmet himbefore,butshedidnotwearmeonthatoccasion Iwouldhaverememberedthis
“Do not talkto him,” I command. “Youdo not have to talkto him. Youdo not belongto him. Youbelongto me.” My soothingwordsarecutoffbyatorrentfromtheLongOne,manytermsdirectedatthemale Her speechis meanttocontrol as always,butthe male does notcower atthemthe wayMelantha andthe other girls do. Instead,hisdomineeringpridebristlesfromhim,fallingacrossmeinabarrage.
“Melantha,listentome,”Ishout,rockinginmycrystallineconfinement HowIwishIknewhertruenameatthismoment “Runfromhim,Melantha!”
Shedoesnotrunbutsitsinsilence,quakingagainstme “Whycan’tyouhearme?”Iyell Whenshedoesnotreact,Ipound onthe walls, kickingand screamingcurses. Ilookfor the cracks thatappeared earlier thatdayand send outas muchofmy powerasIcanmuster
Ifmyangerreacheshim,itonlyservestoarousehimandmakehimbolder.HeleersatMelantha,laughingwhensheshifts andjumps.How dare heapproachherwithoutmypermission?
“Youwilldie!”Iscream “Thepressureofthecosmoswillcrushyourskullintoyourpelvis!” Hedoesnotreact.Perhapshehasnopelvis.
Instead, I imagine myfingers curlingaround his throat, the front of his trachea meetingthe backas I trap the air inhis windpipe.Hislungswillburstunderthestrain,andIwillreachintohischestwithmyclaws,tearingthroughhisflesh… I am shaken from my reverie by the struggle I rock back and forth on my chain, trying to get an angle to behold the obscenitybeforeme.TheinsolentfoolhaslaidhishandsuponmyBearer.
Screaminginrage,Iwatch,powerlessastheimpudentbeastleanstowardMelanthainanattempttokissher.Summoning thefullnessofmybeing,IexertallofmystrengthasIdragmyclawsdownthewallsofmyprison
“Youwillnottouchher!”Icommandasthesurfacechipsandcracks.Myangerboilsover,steamingthefacetsandmaking themrun Suddenly,Inoticethatthecrystalitselfismelting
Ilooktowardthemanforfurtherfueltoaddtothefireofmyviolence,buthehasbackedawayattheinsistenceoftheLong One.Iamtrappedagain–fornow.
RACHEL h,mydear,whatapleasuretoseeyouagain.Stillafrightenedlittlethistlet?”MyheartjumpsinmythroatatThirixon’s taunting,butIwalkstifflyandobedientlyintotheroomandsitbeforehim Hetakesmywristandslideshisthumbupanddown,feelingmyracingpulse.“Yes,delightful.Whatafragilelittle pavoyouare.”
I’mnotsureifhisreferencestodemurefaunaaresupposedtoendearme,buttheyaren’tworking “Youaresimplydelectable,”hedeclares,andwithoutfurtherpreamble,heleansinasiftokissme.Iwatchinhorrorashis moist,graylipsinchforwardtowardmyface Idon’tknowwhattodo IfImove,Iwillbepunished
Thependantonmychestthreatenstoburnaholeinmybreastbone.ThelurkingmadnessthatIfear isinfull forcetoday. Eversincethismorning,I’vefeltitbubblingbeneaththesurface Allday,theurgesitbringshavebeengrowingandbecoming moredifficulttosuppress.
WhenMissRosepulledmeasidetotellmethetimeThirixonwouldbearriving,Ifelttheoverwhelmingimpulsetohither. IpicturedmyopenhandslappingherrubberygraycheekashardasIcould Inmymind,Isawitturningaspurpleasherviolet eyes.
TheimagewassovividthatitwasalmostasifIhadalreadydoneit Ibelievethatiftherewereanyviolenttendenciesin mynature,Iwouldhavefollowedthrough.Thankthegods,myhandstayedstill againstmyside,clencheduntil mynailsdug intothepalm
Inclasslater,Igotboredanddrowsy.I’mnotthebeststudent,butI’musuallyabletopayattention.Muchtomydismay, ProfessorAndrasstoppedhisinstructionmid-sentence.
“Oh,dear Class,”hedrawled “Itwouldseemwe’vemadeourselvestiresometolittleMissRachel Sheistooadvanced forusandwouldratherusehertimetocatchuponsleep.”
Theclasstittered,andmycheeksburned AnimageofProfessorAndrasbeingtornapartbyalikarcameunbiddentomy mind.ItwassostrongthatIcouldsmelltheblood.WhenIcametomyself,Ihaddoodledafrighteninglikenessofmyteacher half-eateninmynotebook.
Suddenly, I felt something welling up frommy stomach. Thinking I was going to vomit, I raised my hand to ask to be excused.WhenProfessorAndrasacknowledgedme,however,ayawnburstoutofmymouth.
EveryoneinclasseruptedintopealsoflaughterasIescapedtothewashroominmortification How am I to live like this? Ithought. How bad will my condition get before they send me away to die of starvation in some forgotten corner of an underground cell built to house the insane?
Isplashedsomewateronmyfaceandlookedinthemirror.“Pullittogether,Rachel,”Iwhispered.“Aslongasyouknow what’scrazyandwhatisn’t,youcancontrolthis.Todayisabadday,buttomorrowwillbebetter.”
Iwaitedtoleavethebathroomuntiltheendofclass.Myeyes,red-rimmedandwateryfromthestrainofstiflingtherising urges,seemedtohaveeveryoneconvincedthatIwasill. Good,Ithought.
Lunchwasuneventful,exceptthatwordhadgottenoutaboutThirixon’svisittoday Nolongerworried,ashewasn'thereto seethem,theychatteredgailyaboutwhatitcouldmean.
“Hesurecomesoveralot,”Elindinemused,dutifullychompingherfortisia “Whydidn'thejustpickyesterday?”Elindine isnewhereandstillharborsfantasiesthatourlivesafterschoolingwillbehappy.
“Maybehejustlikestoglower,”Mylaoffered,pullingafaceandmakingElindinegiggle.
“Don’tbesilly,”Lischided “He’slookingforspecificqualitiesandhasn’tfoundawaytowringthemoutwithMissRose watching.I'msurehe'sgotatestinmindtoday.Hopeyou'reready,Rachel.”
“You’rejustbitterbecausenobody’spickedyouyet,”Elindineinterjectedthoughtlessly “Elindine!”Mylawarned.
“What?Nobodyelsehereisthatold.HowlongdoesMissRoseusuallywaitbeforeshekickssomeoneout,anyway?” Listurnedredasavespidstingandlookeddownatheruntouchedmeal.
“Hush!”Mylacautioned “Ifyoudon’tstiflethattongue,you’llendupworse” SittingacrossfromThirixonnow,I'mcertainnoneofthemcouldendupwithanythingworsethanthis.
“That’scloseenough,Thirixon!”ThetemptationtoheaveasighofreliefispalpableasMissRosetakesupherpostonthe othersideofthesittingroom,butIknowshe’llleaveassoonasshegetswhatshewants.Thereisn’tanythingshecravesmore thanthepricewe’llbring
“Whydon’twegetstarted?”MissRoseasksunnecessarily.
“Yes,let’sputherthroughherpaces.”Thirixonsneers,acruelgleaminhiseye.Hereleasesmywrist.
“Rachel,stand,”MissRosecommands Idoso “Walk,Rachel”Imarchincirclesaroundtheroom,aflushofshameonmy cheeks.
“Stand,” she commands when I reach my former position Commands to sit and stay follow I keep my eyes forward, prayingtoallthegodsthatThirixonwillfindaflawandletmegosoon.
“Nowyoutry,”MissRoseurges “She’sourmostobedientstudent,butyoushoulduseshort,familiarphrasessosheknows exactlywhatyouwant.Trytokeepthemtothreewordsorless.”
MissRoseknowswecanallspeakthelanguage,butsheinsistsonthisstrangeroutinewithallofherseriousclients.She calls it a “test run,” ostensibly to see just how much humiliation she can heap upon us without a show of embarrassment Unfortunately,Iamwelladjustedtothis.
“Liedown,Rachel”Iflopdownontothesofa,mycheekagainstthevelvet Somehow,Iknow what’scoming “Liftyour leg.”
IlookatMissRose,whoseeyebrowliftsslightly.WhetheritisawarningtomeorThirixon,Icannottell.“Lift,”heinsists. WhenMissRosesaysnothing,Ihikeupmylegasfarasitwillgo,ballingmyskirtinmyfistandwrappingitaroundmythigh soitdoesn’tfalltomywaist.
“Ah,youhaveaflexibleonehere,”hereflects “Andmodest Letgo,girl”Hepriesmyfingersopen,allowingmyskirtto fallinapuddleonthesofa.“That’sit,”hesoothes.
Iturnmyburningface into the velvetas he examines me throughthe opacityofmystockings All Miss Rose offers is a brusque“notouching.”
Afteramoment,hebacksawayandcommandsmetositup.Feelingalittlerumpledandveryprofaned,Iobey.
“Quitethehaunches,”hecontinuesgreedily.“Certainlybreedingmaterial.Ican’timaginethattherearemanylikeher.”
“On the contrary, we put all our girls through rigorous diet and exercise, ideal for bearing young.” Miss Rose is ever defensiveconcerningthequalityofherproduct “Noticethebloomofhealthontheskinandtheclarityoftheeyes”
SheleavesherposttoturnmyfacetowardThirixonroughly.Placingherfingerandthumboneacheyelid,shespreadsthem apart “Lookup,Rachel Lookdown,Rachel”Icomplymeekly
“Andherteeth?”Thirixoninquires,reachingtowardmyface.MissRosepreemptshimbysqueezingthemusclesoneither sideofmyfaceuntilmyjawfallsofitsownaccord.“Isthatonerotten?”Hepoints.
“Certainlynot,”MissRoseprotests “I’llnothaveyoudrivethepricedown Ifyoudon’twanther,I’llfindsomeonewho knowsvaluewhenheseesit.”
Thirixonacquiesces,turninghisattentiontomyhair “Glossy,”hecomments “Butnotanattractivestyle I’llhavetogether groomed.”Removingaknifefromhispocket,hemakesamovetowardmeandIjumpslightly.
“Oh,doesthatscareyou?Howfascinating!”Hejabstheknifeinmydirection,andIcanbarelysuppressasqueal “Thirixon,ImustinsistonyourdecisionbeforeIletyoutoywithsuchaskittishgirl.”MissRoseglaresathimasiftosay, 'Youbreakit,youboughtit.'
Thirixonsighswithimpatience “Verywell Hereisthepriceweagreedupon”Hepassesherasmallbag,andsheloosens thedrawstringtocountit.
No sooner has she satisfied herselfthatit’s all there thanshe withdraws fromthe room, suddenlyunconcerned withmy welfare.
“Wherewerewe?”heasks,drawingouthiswordsashebrandishestheknife Ibitemylipasbeadsofsweatpopouton myforehead.Hepicksmeup,surprisingmewithhisstrength,andplunksmedownonhislap.
“Ah, yes, youwere about to be a good little girl and give me a dance.” He holds the knife to mythroat and gives the command “Dance,Rachel!”
Tears are fallingdownmycheeks, and Ibarelynotice thatmyextremities have gone numb. Ifocus onthe designofthe wallpaperandtrytomovemyhipsbackandforth Atthesensationofhimhardeningunderneathme,somethinginsidemesnaps andIgocold.
Ican’tbreathe.Mywholebodyfeelssubmergedinadark,icylake.Thirixonisnowinfrontofmeforsomereason,inmy face,screamingwordsIcan’thear.
He holds up the knife, butIdon’tcare. He gets smaller and bigger repeatedlylike he’s shakingme backand forth, butI
can’tfeel it. He tears the necklace offmyneck, and IthinkIsee itburstinto a milliondustyshards, a blackcloud ofmist growingfromitscenter. It’sfinallyhappened Mymother’sinsanityhascomeuponme,andIfeelnothing Isinkintooblivion
DAKKA The smokey black mist spreads out, weaving into my true essence. The muscles in my body stretch and grow quickly enoughformetorealizemytrueform Myskinisdarkandshadowy Asigntoeverylivingbeingofmyimmensepower
Juttingoutfrommylower back, Ifeel myeleganttail reformand swaygracefully. The contours ofmybodywould makeeventheapexofmortalsweepwithenvy.Thehornsonmyheadtakeshapeaswell,curlingaroundbeautifully.
AssoonasIcan,Ilockmyeyesonthatthing Hetriedtohurtthatwhichbelongstome Hetriedtohurther Hetriedtolay ahandonmyMelantha.
Imustrectifythistransgression Theonlyworthypaymentforsuchaslightisfoundinblood
Theroomissilentforasecondasthepairlookuponmyshape.Icansmellthefearradiatingfromhim.Justmomentsago, hewasfearlesswhenitcametotryingtohurtmydarlingMelantha Whereishisconfidencenow?
Pathetic.Nowthathe’spresentedwithanactualopponent,hecowers. Hetriestoscreamforhelp,butbeforeasinglesoundslipsoutfromthatputridmouthofhis,myhandisalreadyaroundhis throat Hisfleshissoftandpudgybetweenmyfingers IcouldkillhimrightnowifIwantedto,butapromptdeathistoogood forsomeonelikehim.
No,hedeservestodieslowly, painfully slowly Isqueezehisthroatalittletighterandwatchhimreelinagony Ilifthim, andhisfeetdangleeversoslightlyofftheground.
He tries to speak Possiblyscreamfor help like the wretchhe is It’s useless, however Withmystrength, he canbarely evenbreathe.
Hesquirmsaroundinmygrasp,tryingtopullatmywrist.Hislegsflailandwrithe.Hetriestopushoffofme,tonoavail. Mygripisunrelenting
Asdarkelvesgo,hisskinmayhavealreadybeenadarkpurplishgray,butasIholdhimuphisfacegrowsdarker.Hislips slowly lose color I squeeze even tighter around his throat to watch him thrash about However, I grow bored of simply suffocatinghim.
Quickly,Ismashhisheadagainstthewall.Thestoneonthewallcracksfromtheimpact.Bloodstartstodripfromthedark elf’sheadandovermyhands.Abeaminggringrowsuponmyvisage.
“Stop!Stopit!”thegirlpleads.Sheholdsherheadwithherhands,coveringhereyeswithherfingers.Everyothersecond, shepeersthroughtheslitsinherhands Possiblyinthehopesthatthisisjustsomesortofhallucinationornightmareandthatat somepointshe’lljustwakeup.
I will be with you shortly, my dear, Imuse to myself As muchas Iwant to simplyscoop her up and take her away, a penance must be paid. The punishment of this elf is nothingmore thana message to anyone who dares to eventhinkabout harmingmyMelantha.
ThisisthefirsttimesinceIcanrememberthatIhavebeenletoutofmycage,thenecklace.Icanfinallystretchmylimbs and let loose unimpeded. I notice in his eyes that, despite the blunt force trauma to his skull, the dark elf clings to consciousness
Good.Ithinktomyself.Thatmeanshe’sawareenoughofeverythinghappeningtohim.Ifeelmyselfslipevenfurtherinto therageandcannolongerholdmyselfback
Theshadowytipsofmyfingersalterthemselvesintoclaws.Theydigintotheman'sthroatdeeply.Excessbloodstartsto pourdownhisneck.Isqueezetighterandripmyhandback.
Iholdhisbrokenesophagusinmycold,darkhands,throwingitaside Atthesametime,hefallstotheground Iwatchhis eyesshakeashelooksuponmydemonicfigure.Howluckyheistohavehisfinalsightofthisworldbe me.
“Ohgods!” Melantha screams “Stop it! Please!” Her voice is nothingbut a whimper at this point She tries to scream again,butnothingcancomeout.Hervoicecracksandbreakswitheveryword.
Atthispoint,Ilurchoverthebodyoftheman.Myclawsdigintohissoftflesh.Ihadforgottenthefeelingofrippinginto muscle tissue, and the crunchthat the bones made as theybroke betweenmyhands. I can’t remember a time whenI got to performsuchatask,butit’simmediatelyfamiliarandcomforting,soIknowthatIhad
Blood and sinew spew fromhis bodywitheverytear and pull. His innards are strewnaboutas Irip themapart. Nota singlebitofhimshouldbeleft Liketwigs,Iripaparthisribcageanddigthroughthebodyofthisfoul creature Ittakesme littletimetofindhisheart.
Partofmeissurprisedatdiscoveringitatall Iwasunawareanyoneother thanmyMelanthatrulyhadone Her heartis mine, as she is, butthis one should no longer be allowed to exist. Like a weakbodied fruit, Icrushthe organbetweenmy fingers.Bloodflieseverywhere.
Hisbodyislefteviscerated ButIwill notbesatisfiedwithmerelyasimpledisembowelment Heneedstobetornlimb fromlimb.Literally.Mythick,stronghandsgraspthearmsofthiself’sbody,andIpullwithallmystrength.
The muscle fibers around his shoulders tear easily, and the bones pop rightoutofthe sockets The sightreminds me of woodentoysmyMelanthausedtoplaywith.Howtheirbodiesbrokefromthejoints.
Ican’tbear to lookuponhis lifeless face anylonger Like the wall before, Igrab his head betweenbothmyhands and smashthethickskulloftheelfdownintotheground.Thefurcarpetbeneathhimisnotenoughtoprotecthisheadfromharm.
Ibeathimdown.Ibreakeveryboneinhisbodyandthensome.Thereisnothingleftbutshredsandpiecesofamanwho oncewas Ireignvictorious,asalways Noonehasever,norwillever,harmwhatismine “How delightful,” Iwhisper to myself. Blood fromthe bodysplatters againstthe walls. Adeep, darkpool ofitformed underneaththemutilatedcorpseoftheonceprouddarkelf
Icanhearhowheavyherbreathis,andsheseemstohaverunoutofairinherlungstobeabletoscream.Aboutaminute haspassedsincethedarkelfstoppedmoving.Heisdead.Longdead.
I don’t remember exactlywhat specificallyI did that brought the moment of death, or if he simplybled out, died from shock,orwhatever.Isupposethedetailsmatterlittlewhendealingwithacorpse.
Ifindmyselfbreathingheavily,too Irisetomyfeet,toweringoverthebodythatIhadjustkneltover Ilookdownatmy handscakedinblood.ThatblindingragethatIwasinseemstohavepassed.Iunderstandnow.
I’m free
“I’mfree,”Imutteraloud.I’mnolongeraprisonerofthatgaudybauble.I’mactuallytrulyfree.Thisisn’tjustsomedream orfantasyIimagined.Thesearemyowntwohands,coveredinblood.
IlookoveratmyMelantha.Mythoughtsgrowquietatthesightofher.She’shuddledagainstthebackwallandcrying. “Crying?”Iwhisper.Myvoiceisn’tentirelybackyet,either.Usingarealvoiceboxisstillnewtome. “Stayaway!Don’tcomenearme!”sheshoutsout Apparently,hervoicehasnotleftherentirely “Please!Justdon’thurt me!”
Iopenmymouthtospeak,butnowordscomeout WhatcanIevensaytoher,likethis?Itrytoapproachher Sherecoils fromme.
She just needs a loving touch, to reassure her IreachmyhandsouttoherbutasIdo,thebloodonthemsplattersontoher. Ilookdownatmyhandsagainastheydripwiththebloodoftheelf
Ikilledhimforher.Doesshenotunderstandthat?Hewasgoingtohurtwhatwasmine.Hewasgoingtohurther.Icouldn’t lethimdothat Ihadtostophimbeforehecould “No!”sheyells.“Idon’twanttodie!”
Herwordsmakemestop ItrytotellherthatIdon’twanttohurther ThedooropensbeforeIcangetasinglewordout “Rachel,whatisgoingonhere!”someoneyells.
Ican’tgetcaught.They’llputmebackintoanothernecklaceagain.Orworse,they’llkeepmefromher.ThoughI’mstrong enoughtokillthemall,justliketheelf,Ihesitateatthethought
Imademybearercrythefirsttime,andI’mnotkeentorepeatit.I’meagertopleasethebeautifulMelatha,orRachel,as theyseemtocallher ThelastthingIwantistobeasourceofdistressorthereasonherbrowneyesfillwithsorrow Ineedmoretimetodecidewhatcomesnext.Rightnow,Imustmovefast.Instinctively,Idashintooneofthedarkcorners. mytailtrailingbehindme Hopefully,Iwasn’tseenbyanyone Iseeafewoftheothergirlscomeintotheroom,buttheyare distractedbythepileofvisceraIleftbehind.Islipaway,throughthedarkness.
RACHEL What…justhappened?
Myheartispounding,mydesperatepleasstillechoinginmyears
Whatwasthat…thing?Wherediditcomefrom?WasItheonlyonethatsawit?Myeyesarefrozenonthepoolof bloodinthemiddleoftheroom,myheadspinningasItrytocomprehendthelastfewminutes.
Perfectlymanicuredfingersinvademyviewandsnapharshlyinfrontofmyface Ijerkbackinstinctively,fearmakingmy bloodcold.MissRosestandsbeforeme.Behindher,Icanseeagroupofmyclassmates,faceswhitewithshock.
“I I therewasa ”Istammerout,tryingtofindmyvoice Everyone’seyesareonme,feelinglikeweightsuponmy skin.Mythroatclosesfromthepressureandpanic,andIlookatMissRosewithwideeyeswhileIdraginlaboredbreaths.
“Right!Everyoneout!Upstairs,now,whileIgettothebottomofthismadness!”MissRose’snormallysternvoiceisjust that,andIblink,confused.Thereisnoinflictionofshock,horror,orpaniclikeI’mfeelingorseeingonthegirls’facesasthey fleetheroomatherorder.
Istayput,mylegsfrozeninplace Howisshenotshakenbythis?
Shescanstheroomandsighs.
“Well,thisisgoingtoneedagoodclean Idon’tthinktherugwillmakeit” Shetiltsherheadassheexamineswhat’sleftofThirixon.Bodypartsarespreadacrosstheroom,bloodandgoresmearing the walls,furniture,andfloor like a failedpaintingexercise The metallic scentofbloodmixes withthe unpleasantsmell of rupturedbowels,sittingatthebackofmythroatandmakingmewanttovomit.
WatchingMiss Rose,mypanic slowlystarts torecede,probablyonlya sickside-effecttothe proximityofher calmand steadyreaction Sheseemsalmost fascinatedasshemutterstoherself
“Hm,yes,thisisaninterestingturnofevents.NotwhatIexpected,andthatdoesn’thappenoften.AtleastIgotmymoney fromhim Thatwillhelpwiththeclean-up And–oh!”sheexclaimsassheglancesoveratme “Thegirlisunharmedandback inmypossession.Yes,thisisverygood.I’veneversoldagirltwice!”
Hereyebrowsfurrow,andsheturnstolookoutthewindowatThirixon’swagonstandingoutside.
“Well, that is a complication. We wouldn’t want word to get out about this. Bad for business, and I have so many appointmentscomingupandsomanygirlstogetridof.I’llneedtogettheboystostageanaccident.Yes,arobberyshouldbe plausibleenough”
Shewalksovertothedoorandcallsouttosomeone,andafewsecondslatertwooftheboysthattakecareofthegardens andhouseholdtaskswalkin Theyblanchatthesight,butMissRoseiscalmandbusinesslikeassheexplainswhatneedstobe done.Thewordsfloatovermyhead,andmyskincrawlswhenIfeeltheircuriousgazesrunoverme.
Themen,Idon’tevenknowtheirnames,leavetheroom,andMissRoseturnstomewithanassessingstare.
“Okay,Rachel,tellmewhathappened.Whodidthis?Wheredidtheygo?”
Ihavetoswallowafewtimesbeforemyvoiceworks,anditstillcomesoutweakandshaky.
“Idon’tknow whathappened,MissRose Onesecond,hewastryingtokissme Mynecklacebroke,andthentherewas this shadowy… thing… that appeared and started, um, well…” I gesture to the mess in the room, not quite sure how to articulatethechaosthatcausedit
Icanhear how insane itsounds, and Icringe, waitingfor her to yell atme for spoutingnonsense like she usuallydoes. Instead, she tilts her head to the side, studyingme. There are a few splatters ofblood onme fromwhenthe creature came towardsme ButI’mmuchcleaner thantherestoftheroom,asIwasmostlyshelteredfromthecarnage Irecall thewaythe monsterwascoveredinThirixon’sblood,thedarkliquiddrippingfromitsclaws,andshudder.
MissRoseshakesherhead
“Oh,sillygirl.Yourimaginationwillovertakeyouoneday.Didawildanimalgetin?Anotherelfwhowantedrevengeand
followedhimhere?”shemuses.“Itsoundsunlikely,butsomethinghappened.It’sobviousyoucouldn’tdoallthis.Aweaklittle human?”Shescoffs.“Ashadowymonster,yousay?”
Inodshakily,eventhoughIcantellshe’sdubious “Hm.Iwonder ifthishasanyrelationtothe‘reaper’fromMissHannigan’sschool uponthehill.Wethoughtshe’dgone mad,butmaybethereissometruthtoherramblings,”shesaysthoughtfully AsifrememberingI’mhere,shefocusesbackon me.
“Nota word aboutthatto the other girls, mind Idon’twantanyfear-mongeringgoingaround myschool and distracting focusfromyourstudies.”
Ishakemyheadquickly,thoughIfinditsomewhatironicconsideringthemessbehindher.Thereisnowaytheothergirls aren’tshockedandscaredbythisevent,andIbetthereareafeweavesdroppingfromthenextroom
MissRosedismissesme,andmysuspicionsareconfirmedwhenIhearhurriedfootstepsrunningaheadofmeupthestairs. WhenIenteroursharedbedroom,IseeElindinesettlingdownonherbed,herbreathshort MylaandLisareontheirown beds, bothlookinga bitpale. Lis clutches a pillow like it’s goingto save her fromharm, and Myla has her arms wrapped around herself The single bulb onthe ceilingcasts a faint light over the depressingbedroom, makingthe beige walls and furniturelookevenmoredreary.
“Isittrue?”Elindineasks,hervoicefullofexcitement.“Thereaperishere?”
I have to consciously stop myself fromrolling my eyes at her childlike reaction What I saw in there is definitely not somethingtobeexcitedabout,andIimaginethatwhenIclosemyeyestogotosleep,Iwillberelivingitinallitsgorydetails. Lisgaspsandturnstomewithwideeyes Mylafrownsonherbednexttome It’sclearthat,likeme,shehasn’theardof thereaperbefore.
Lisswallowsonce,twice,beforespeakinginashakyvoice.
“ThereaperfromtheHanniganschool?Irememberwhen…um…Everyonejustsaidshewascrazy.Is…isittrue?”Her eyesfillwithtears.
Isigh Mydreamsoftakingashowerandgoingstraighttosleepareclearlyjustthat Istareatthespecksofbloodonmy arms and bite mylip. I’mstill shiveringslightly, the shocknothavingworked itselfoutyet, and Itake a deep breathbefore meetingMyla’seyes
“I’mnotsupposedtotalkaboutit…”
Mylanodssolemnlyandreachesoverthesmallspacebetweenourbedstotakemyhand.
“It’sokay,Rachel.We’rehereifyouneedtotalk,butyoudon’thaveto.”
Isqueezeherhandandtakeanotherdeepbreath,thenIlookattheothertwogirls.
“Thirixonboughtme,andMissRoselefttheroom Probablytolockupthemoney Shejustleftmewithhim,andhewas beingsopushy.Ididn’tknowwhattodo,Iwassoscared.Hetriedtokissme,”Iexplainslowly.
Elindine giggles and covers her face as if I’mreadingher a romantic novel instead of tellinga real-life horror story I frownbutdecidetogettherestofthestoryout.I’mhopingthatifIsayitoutloud,itwilllessentheturmoilthat’srunningwild inmyhead.
MygazeturnstothegapinthecurtainswhereIcanseeasliverofdaylightshiningthrough Hassolittletimepassed?Ifeel likehours,days,havepassedsinceIwenttomysecondmeetingwiththeterrifyingdarkelf.
Oneofthegirls,Myla,mostlikely,musthaveexpectedthatIwouldwanttotakeanapafter myordeal Shehadalready drawnthecurtainsbeforeIgotback.Isqueezeherhandagainandcontinue.
“I’mnotsureexactlyhowtheclaspcameundone,butmynecklacefellonthefloor Youknow,thenecklacefrommymom thatIwearsometimes?”Iseetheothergirlsnodinmyperiphery.
“Anyway,itfell,andthegemjust…cracked,andsuddenlytherewasastreamofshadowcomingfromit.Itshapedintoa man-likethingandjuststartedrippingThirixonapart I Icouldn’twatchmostofit,andIwassoscared,Icouldn’tmakea sound.”
Ifinallytear mygaze awayfromthe window andlookatmyroommates Lis has a handover her mouth,tears streaming downherface,andIcanseeshe’sbarelykeepingittogether.Elindineisstaringatmewithhermouthajar,andMyla’seyesare wide,herhandgrippingminetightlyinfear
“So,itmustbethereaperthen.CometodestroyourschoollikeitdidtheHanniganschool.Iwonderifitwillsticktothe visitorsorstartattackingus,”Elindinesaysinalowvoice.
Lisreleasesanaudiblesobandrunsfromtheroom Icanhearthesharedbathroomdoorslammingdownthehall Mylaand IsharealookbeforeshesighsandturnstoElindine.
“Wecan’tgoaroundtellingtheothergirlsaboutthis,Elindine Itwillbecompletechaos Unlessweknowsomethingthat willkeepthemsafe,andnotjuststartapanic,we’dbetterkeepthistoourselves.”
SomethinginMyla’sfacemakesmewonderifshethinksI’mcrazy,too.Shedoesn’twantElindinetalkingaboutitbecause she’safraidMissRosewillsendmeaway.I’malittleafraidshe’sright,butapartofmeknowsIhadtohaveseensomething. Theproof,intheshapeofaruineddarkelf,isdownstairs.Ididn’timaginethat.
Elindinesighsdramaticallybutconcedeswithanod.
“Fine,Iwon’tsayanything.ButIalsowon’tlieifanyoneasksmeoutright.Ithinkeveryonehasarighttoknow ifwe’re goingtodieagruesomedeath!”
I’mtootiredtoargue.IheadforthebathroomtocleanmyselfupasbestasIcaninmyexhaustion.ThenIcrawlintomy bedandhugmypillow Luckily,exhaustionpreventsmefromrelivingtheslaughter,andIquicklyfallintoadeepsleep
