FOREWORD
DearReader,
Thankyoufor takinga ride withthe SalemburgHellions Acouple of things to note as youhead out onthis ride withthe HellionsMC.
1 ThisbookiswrittenasacrossoverwithAuthorLibertyParkerandherDreamCatcherMCseries Pleasemakesureto checkoutallheramazingbooks!
2 Inordertounderstandthefullstory(atleastwhatpromptsthecrossoverwiththeDreamCatchers)youwillneedto readDynamicIntentionsbyLibertyParker!
3 CountryBoyandSara’sbookcanbereadasastand-alonestory,however,IhighlyrecommendgettingDynamic Intentionsasthebooksaremeanttobereadtogether.Liberty’sbookexplainsthepointofviewoftheDreamCatchers MCthatfollowsalongsidethefirsttenchaptersofthisbook.
4 TheoriginalprintpublicationofthisbookwillbeintheRiledUpCollectionthatismeanttobereadaftertheRevved UpCollection.ThesespecialeditionsarefortheTNTNCsigningMarch9,2024.
Ifyouarereadingthee-bookversionofthisbookonlythenyouarereadingtheextendedversionwhichgivesallofCountry Boyand Sara’s story. Ifyouare readingthe Riled Up Collectionpaperbackonly, thenbe sure to grab Ride Out(Salemburg HellionsBook1)togettheentirestory
Howeveryoudecidetoreadtheseworksandwhicheverformatyouchoose,Ihopeyouenjoythisride.Ihavehadsomuchfun workingwithLibertyParkerandAuthorJanineInfanteBrosco(shecoordinatedtheentirecollection–checkoutherworktoo)
Thanks, ChelseaCamaron
“THIS IS BEAUTIFUL, SARA,” mysister,Carriestateswiththewidestsmile. Herenthusiasmmakesthiswholecharadeworthit Sheisintoallthingsbeautyandelegance Liketodaywiththefrills,soft textures,andaspecialtouchateveryturn,thisisone-hundredpercentherstyle.Asforme,thisisabsolutelyeverythingIam not Carrieisthepolaroppositeofme I’malldenimanddirt,whileshe’spearlsandproper Webalanceeachotherinthebest waypossible.
Idon’tremember a time where we weren’tso absolutelydifferent, yet, still so connected The sayingthat ‘ no one can know you the way a sister does’ fitsusperfectly.She’smybestfriend,evenifwearen’tgoingtobeatthesameconcertsor shoppinginthesamestoresatthemall,wearealwaysintouch.Iknowhereverysecretandthereisn’tanythingIdon’tshare withher
CarringtonPaigeSweetingis mylittlesister whois settomarryher PrinceCharminginafairytaleweddingtwomonths fromnow Thelastyearhasbeenanepicleveloftulle,flowers,fittings,andphotosallinthenameoflove Fromthemoment shegotengaged,thisisallshe’sdreamedof.I’mbeyondelatedforher.Although,Imustadmit,Ineverknew therewerethis manyshadesofblush
Seriously,whendidpinkturnintodustyrose,blush,anddaretherebeahintofmauve.Don’tforgettheother sideofthe spectrum,flamingo,taffy,or magentapink.Wedon’twanttoleaveoutmiddleoftheroadcoral either.It’sinsanityifanyone carestohavemyopiniononthematter Whycan’tpinkbepink?
But,Ihavetobehonest,theshadesmatter.Idoknowthatmuch.Alwaysgetsamples,thisiswhathostingherbridalshower taughtme Beforethis,pinkwaspinktome Now,I’llneverseecolorsthesameagain
EveryDisneyprincessevercreatedhasbeenadoredbyCarrie.Maybeit’sbirthorder,mebeingtheoldestandall,butI’m moreofa make my own path even if I fall on my ass person.Carrieisonetoughcookie,don’tgetmewrong,butshe’salways daydreamed aboutbeingsweptoffher feet. Her soonto be mister, Caleb, does thatfor her. Everyfreakingdaypractically. WhateverCarriewantshe’swillingtoputintheworktomakesureshehasit.Shehaskissedherfairshareoffrogstofindthis prince Heisgoodtomysisterandshe’sneverbeenthishappy I’mexcitedtocelebratetheirlove Thisisgoingtobethemost beautifuldayinherlifeandI’mheretocelebrateitall,includingtoday’sbridalshower.
Notgoingtolie,Iaskedtohostthebacheloretteparty,butCarriedidn’tthinkplasticpeniseshangingfromtheceilingfanof ahotel roomwouldbemuchfun.Shewantstogetdressedupandhavepictureswithher favoritepeopleinsteadofdrinking anddancingthenightaway.Herloss,Ithrowanepicpartywhenit’sjustbooze,babes,andnoworkthenextday.Sheaskedme togiveherthebridalshowerofherdreamsoveranybacheloretteshenanigans.Well,thisisdefinitelyherdreamandnotmine. Asheroldersister,though,Iaimtoplease.
Mymotherapproacheswithhercheeksflushed,nodoubtfromsomekindofworry,“Sara,thankyou,thisisjustgorgeous” IsmileallthewhileIwanttolaughandcallheroutfornottrustingmetopullitoff.
IloveourmothertotheendsoftheEarth,butsheisabitofacontrolfreakabouthostingthings Shelikesthingsherway Don’tgetmewrong,she’sverygoodatputtingtogetheranythingfromacasualdinner,abirthdayparty,asoireeofanysort,and yes,sheisamazingatplanningweddings.Whichiswhymysisterisbeingabletoenjoybeingthebridewithoutallthestress becauseourmomhasitallundercontrol
Exceptthis bridal shower.Idid mybestto nothand itover to her.Sure, she would have gladlytakencharge,butthis is somethingspecialformysisterfromme
Momdidn’tholdbackingivingherinputallalongtheway,butIamproudofstickingtomyplansthistimearound.Most parties, events, those things, mymomtakes care ofeverythingfrombeginningto end This time, Idid ithavingmysister in mind with every detail, maybe that’s why it came pretty easy overall. I’ll never admit it to my mom, but it was actually sometimesfun,theplanning,Imean.Can’thaveherthinkingthiscanbeourthingtogetherbecausenoonecandoitlikeshecan.
Mymom,this is her absolutelyfavorite thing Maybe it’s growingupinthe southor maybe because we live a laidback beachlifehereonthecoast,sowhenit’stimeforfancyit’sabigdeal.Idon’tknow.Mom,though,shelovestohosteverything foreveryone
AndImeaneveryone.
Evencousinsgetpartiesdoneupbymom.She’sgreatatittoo.Thisthough,IwashonestlysurprisedthatCarrieaskedme tohostitandnotourmother Theyareclosetooandmomlovesanyreasontopickoutnewglasswareordinnerplates Idon’t thinkshehasaChinacabinetbigenoughforallofherstuff.Itwouldn’tsurprisemetofindoutshehashadtogetastorageunit foritall ShehasthebestofthebeststuffthoughandIabsolutelyusedsomeforthetablesettingshere Sure, this isn’tmythingnormally, butIknow mysister and for her I’ll move mountains… or inthis case, wear a damn dress and hosther bridal shower Fromthe sheer fabric chair tie-backs insoftblushes to the champagne silverware, Ihave madesureeverylastdetail isaspreciousasmysister.Custombackdropfor photoswithfluffypalepinkrosesinthesoftest papergivetheperfectspaceforhertohavepictureswitheverypersonnearanddear.Theguestlisthaseveryonenear,dear, andevenneighborsfromwhenwewereindiapersgotinvited
Aunts,childhoodfriends,workfriends,friendsoffriends,mysisterandmotherhaveseriouslyinvitedeveryonetheyknow. Carriekeepstellingme,‘I’monlydoingthisonce,Sara,Ican’tleaveanyoneout’Wellbabysister,thankfucktoallofusthis isaone-timethingbecauseIdon’tknowhowwecouldmakeitbetterifwediditagain.
I’mproudtopullthisalloff Theinternethasbeenmyclosestfriendthelastfewmonthsplanningthis Attimes,Iwasn’tso sureIdidn’tneedtopassonthejobtosomeonemorequalified,butsomehowI’vemanaged.Thankfully,I’mnotafraidtoask questions,searchtheweb,andenlistmyfriendslikeJosiefromworktohelpme.
“Alwaysthebridesmaid,neverthebride,”myAuntNeldasayscomingupandgivingmeahug,“butyou’llforeverbethe prettiestcatladyIknow.”
Yes, this is the on-going joke because at thirty-three-years-old I have an amazing career, own my home, and have a retirementaccount.Bonus,Ihavestartedmyownsidehustlebusinesswithgourmetpecans.Truly,Iamlivingmybestlife.The onlythingmissingisasignificantother.Except,Idon’tfeellikeI’mmissinganything.
Single and sassy, I love mylife. Don’t let me denyit either, I do indeed have cats, two of them, alongwithtwo dogs, twelvechickens,andagoat.Judgeme,jokeaboutme,Idon’tcare.IhavethisonelifeandI’mlivingitmyway,animalsand all!
Carriebeingexactlyhowshealwaysis,takingmybackinherownway,pipesup,“Sarawillhaveherhappilyeverafter. Some manis goingto come inand grow onher Like a carrotgrowingitmighttake a little longer, butit’s goingto happen Whenitdoesweareallgoingtolovehimasmuchasshedoes.She’llbereadytogiveupthechickensandliveinasuburb. Shejusthasn’tfoundhimquiteyet.”
Inside, Ilaugh. Theyall thinkIneed some man to take care of me. I’mseriouslygood… me and mychickens. No man neededhere.
“Iknow whatshe needs to do,” AuntNelda chimes inlookingto mymother, “remember whenwe were teens sharinga roomElizabeth,”herenthusiasmisalmosttoomuchtotake.“Wewroteoutourlistofwantsforoureventualhusband.” Mommasmiles,“tall,dark,andhandsome Irememberwebothwrotethatandhecouldn’tbebald!”
Same story, different day. They love reliving this. Both women laugh at themselves because they happen to have bald husbands.Idon’trememberifmydadeverhadhairasIwasgrowingup.I’msureifIlookedthrougholdpicturesIcouldfind one He’sshavedhisheadforsolongnow,ifhehadhairImightthinkhelosthismindandwasreadyforaretirementhome Mydad,though,he’sfarfromhot.HowhesnaggedmymomIdon’tknowbecauseeveninherfiftiesnowshe’sstillabsolutely beautiful MyUncle,AuntNelda’shusbanddoesn’tmakebaldhoteither,buttheyhavebeenmarriedlikeforeversotheyhave loveeveniftheydon’thavelooks.
Personally,abaldmanwithabeardishotasitgets,butI’mnotgoingtotellthemthat Ilikemymenalittlerougharound theedges.Abeard,someink,andamanwhoisn’tafraidtoworkupasweat,signmeupforthatdatingapp.
Myuncleandfatherarenotmyversionofhot.Theyarejustregularoldmenwhosehairisnomore.I’msureintheirday theywere attractive,atleasttomyauntandmymother Andfor womenwholove a cleancutman,theywere probablytotal knockoutsintheirday.
Forme,I’veneverbeenintothepreppytype
Givemeamanwithasolidbeardandasmoothhead,well,yessir,whatarewegettingintotoday?Ineedtall,dangerous, andcommanding NormalisboringandIcanbeboringallonmyown
“Tall,dark,andhandsome,pppfffff,”Iscofftothem,“givemegruff,rough,andtattooedup.”Andthemoreinkthebetter,if youaskme.Iprobablyshouldn’thavesaidanyofthatoutloud.I’monlygivingthemmorefodderfortheirconversationsabout mebeingtheweirdone Idon’tcarethough IamwhoIamandIrefusetoapologizeforit Mommashakesherhead,“youhavebeenmywildchildsinceyourveryfirstbreath.”
Yes,IhaveandI’mdamnproudofit!
“TheregoesConnie,”AuntNeldapointsout,“alreadymessin’upthetablesettings.Which,Sara,yougotitrightthistime. SeeyourAuntNeldahastaughtyousomethings.Goodsouthernetiquetteisamust.”
Aunt Nelda rushes over to correct the minor movement ofthe salad forkbya guest leavingme thankful for the escape. Betweenmymomandmytwoaunts,southerncharmandetiquetteisengrainedinallofusgirls.Funny,myAuntNeldaonlyhas
boys, myAuntWilla never had kids, and mymom, well she has three girls. This means thatall their childhood practice on dollsbecamereal lifedressuponmeandmytwosisters.Bothofmyauntshavebeeninvolvedineverythingeachofushas donefromchildhoodtonow TheyaresupportiveandItrulyhavethebestfamilyagirlcouldaskfor “Sara,whendoesthemimosabaropen?”Cara-Annrushesoverasking,“thereisalreadyaline.” Iletoutalaugh,“Meredithwillstartservingsoon,butyouaren’tgettinganyofthat,missy” “Iknow!”Shestateswithherhandonherhip.“Iwantthejuiceandhello,wehaveacrowd,sogotothatmicrophoneand getthisshowergoing Wehavegamesandgifts”
Cara-Annismyteenagebabysister.Weareclose,butthebondisdifferentfromCarrie.MyparentsgavebirthtoCara-Ann whenIwasincollege.She’sfun,butIdidn’tsharearoomwithherandlivethroughalltheteengirldramalikeCarrie.CaraAnnistheperfectblendofCarrieandme ShelookslikemebutactslikeCarrie Theybothlovemakeupanddressingup,but Cara-Annwill get dirtytoo, don’t let the heels fool you. She spends everysecond of free time she has either competitive swimming or at the barn Yes, my baby sister loves animals, especially the equine variety She is outdoors in barn boots, cleaningup horse shit as muchas she’s dolled up like today. Like her name, Cara-Annis a blend of me and Carrie. Mom thoughthavingsuchanagedifferencethebestwaytogiveusabondfromthebeginningwasjoiningSaraandCarrieintoCara forhername.Ithasnevermatteredhername;weloveherforthesassyandsweetpersonsheis.
Carrieleansintome,“I’mreadywheneveryouare,Sara.”Shegrabsmyhandandgivesitasqueeze.“Ican’twaittodo thisforyouoneday”
Oh,lordhavemercy,wedon’tneedtoeventhinkaboutmyoneday.ThistimeIletthelaughout.“Honeydon’tholdyour breath I’mwaitingonmisterdangerous,notmisterdreamy”
“RAISE HELL,PRAISE DALE!”
THE OPEN ROAD, damn,thereisnothingbetter Thesteadyrumbleofmysteelhorseinunisonwiththebrothersbehindme ismusictomyears.Growingupinasmalltown,Ididn’tthinkahead.It’skindofabubble,small-townlife.Everyoneknows everyone,shitrunsalittleslowerpacedthancitylife WhenIwenttocollege,IsawlifeoutsideofSalemburg,NorthCarolina Itwasn’tbad,butitwasn’tforme.TheolderIgetthemoreIhavelearnedtothinkahead.
Asaman,thisbrotherhoodI’vefoundintheHellionsit’severythingfrommypasttomyfuturenow.Ilive,eat,andbreathe forthisclub.Lifecanberough,buttheHellionsfamilyisalwaysatmybacktopickmeup.
Grinder rides to my left slightly ahead of me. As Road Captain, he heads up these things. We ride two by two down highwaytwenty-foureastinthegreatstateofNorthCarolina
Bornhere,raisedhere,andI’llfuckingdiehere,I’mCarolinathroughandthrough.Raffridesbehindmeslightlyandtothe leftinline behindGrinder butenoughofa gapthatIsitbetweenthemtothe right It’s a zigzagpatternthatis safer onthese roads.He’salwaysdirectlyatmyback,asmyVicePresidentit’swherehebelongs.
Shit,wegobacktobeingindiapers,nooneknowsmelikeRaff.BacktothedaysofplaygroundfightsRaffisalwaysatmy side.AllthebrothershavemybackandIhavetheirs.That’sHellionslife.
Yes, I amthe President of the Salemburg Hellions, and we are currently riding out to the Haywood’s Landing annual barbecue EstablishedintheearlyninetiesbyStud,whorideshardasaSalemburgoriginal,wehavebeenasolidchapterfor theHellionsMC.Weall know andrespectwhatRoundman,Danza,Rocky,andFriscobuiltinthefirstcharter oftheclubin Haywood’sLanding Everysingleoneofusistiedtogethertostandbehindwhattheycreatedtwodecadesago Rideuntilwe die,thisisahomecomingwelookforwardto.
AllthechaptersinNorthandSouthCarolinaridein,familiesintow.TrippisnowtheHaywood’sLandingHellionscharter president, but not a single tradition from Roundman is ever missed. Especially this annual barbecue. From early on, Roundman’s place as our overall club presidentwas never challenged. KnowingTripp’s historywithRoundman, there isn’t another manto be our overall presidentbetter thanhim Ididn’tgetto ride under Roundmanlike Stud did or Tripp, buthis legacyliveson.
This ride tothe coastis calm Icantake a deepbreathknowingwe aren’tdoingmuchbusiness this weekend While my homebaseisandalwayswillbeSalemburg,NorthCarolina,Haywood’sLandingistheHellionshomeandit’sarideIalways enjoy.
Wearecelebratingthepast,thepresent,andthefuture Familyisthecoreoftheweekendahead.
BeforeIcanthinktoodeeplyaboutthetermfamilyandwhatitmeans tome,Grinder signals wearepullingoffahead I throwupmyhandwithtwofingerstokeepthesignalgoingdownthelineaseachbrotherbehindmefollowssuitandthenwe all turnoffbehind Grinder I’mnotsure ifsomethingis wrongwithhis bike or whatthe reasonfor the exitis We’re about twentyminutesfromHaywood’sLandingatoneofthosepopularchaincoffeeshops.
Grinderhalfjumpsoffhisbike,yellingout,“gottatakeashit,brother.”Ilaughasweall roll intodifferentspotstopark. Usually,hewouldhavesignaledthatheneededtopulloffalone,butgivenourdestination,thegoalistoarrivetogetherasone unit.
RaffparkingtomyrightlooksatmeasI’mtakingoffmylidleavingmybackwardsbaseballhatinplace,“whatthefuck? Whywehere?”
That’s Raff, straight to the point and always following his schedule He doesn’t like unplanned stops Sometimes, I’ll changecoursejusttofuckwithhim.Itpisseshimofftonoend,butitkeepshimonhistoes.
“Grinder’s gonna get himone of themdrinks with eighteen steps so he can flirt with the barista and be hopped up all fuckingday,”ImutterasIclimboffmyHarleytostretch
I scan the area making sure every brother makes it safely into the parking lot. As president, every member’s safety is alwaysatthetopofmyprioritylists.
“Bullshit,”RaffcountersknowingGrinderdoesn’tdrinkanythingthatisn’tbeer,liquor,orwater Ilaughbecausehe’sright tocallmeoutonthatline.
“Nah,hehadtodropadeuce”IexplainsteppingupontheconcretedecidingI’llmakemywayinsideforablackcoffee justto give this place the business for usingtheir restroom. Grinder has a reputationfor massive shits witha stench. It’s a favoritepastimetosendtheprospectsintocleanthebathroomsbehindhim
Thesepeopleheredon’tneedtobeleftwithnosalesornotipsafterwhattheyaregoingtodealwithbehindhim.
Everyprospect to ever go inafter Grinder has come out lookinggreenand readyto toss their cookies, I don’t want to subjectstrangerstoit Welovetonailtheprospectswithitafterhe’sdranktoomuchandgivenhimselfthebeershits Strangers though,wedon’twantanyciviliancasualties.
Yeah,Idefinitelyneedto buycoffee and tip extra today Theyare goingto earneverydollar this morningtryingsurvive afterhe’sdone.
Turningtothe door,Icollide withsoftness anda wave oflong,darkhair Inhalingshe smells ofcoconutandcoffee as I instinctivelyputmyarmsaroundhertostabilizeher.Warmthhitsmychestasthecoffeesloshesfromhercupagainstmyt-shirt andcut.
“Fuck,”ImutterasIlookdowntomeetthedeepestcrystalblueeyesofmylife Ican’tbreathe.I’mstuckinplaceashereyeslocktomine.Sheopensandcloseshermouthwithnowordscomingout.It takesaminute,andsheseemstorollhershouldersbacktryingtogetspacebetweenus ShequicklygathershershitwhileI’m stillstunnedatthecontactinawayIcan’texplain.
“Sorry,sugar,didn’tmeantorunintoya.Haven’thadenoughcaffeineyettobearoundpeople.Ishouldn’thavetakenthe littlestopperoutofthelideither.I’mnotwinningyettoday.”Sheliftsherlefthanduptome,“here,takethisone.Ishouldn’tbe double fisting anyway. Plus, I made that awesome leather smell you got going on all sweet with this brown sugar shaken espresso Wouldn’twantanyonetowonderwhy,soyoutakethisonehere,andenjoyit”
Iletoutadeeplaugh.Sheisn’tfazedbyme,mycut,orthepresenceofmyclub.She’smakingjokeswhenmostpeopletend towalktheotherwaywhentheyseeuscoming Ilikethelaidbackwayshe’shandlingthis It’srefreshinginawayIhaven’t ever cared about before. Honestly, I find it funny the way people will sometimes literally cross the street or go down a differentaisleatagrocerystoretoavoidus.Wedon’tfuckwithpeoplewhodon’tfuckwithus.
“Cuteone,sweets.”Ireleasemyholdonhertotakethedrinkinmylefthand.Missiontospendmoneyinsideisforgottenas shestepsbackandimmediately,Iwanttopullhercloseagain.Damn,she’sbeautiful.
To mysix-feet-four-inchbody, she’s a solid five-feet-ten-maybe-eleven-inches withlongdarkhair that goes downto a plumpassinapairofjeansthatshouldbecriminaltofitsogood.TheMetallicat-shirtfitstightacrosshertitsandlooseather waistleavingmetowonderaboutallthecurvesofherbody Damn,I’mgettingachubimaginingit “Sorryagainaboutthelittlebump.Hopeyouhaveagreatdayandgoodride.”Shesmilesandfuck,Imightjustfaint. I’vebeenaroundalotofwomenandnotonehaseverbeenthischill atafirstmeeting,especiallyafterliterallybumping intome I’mafuckingbrickwall Thiswomanisdangerous I’veneverbeenshyaboutwantingpussy,butsomethingtellsme her pussyis thekindamanlikemecouldcrave.Mymindgoes wildwiththeways Icouldfuckher. Watching her hair fall onto my chest as she rides me, or better yet, putting her face down, ass up, and yanking her by those luscious locks back to look at me while I take her from behind.
Ohyeah,thisonehere,she’sgotafirethatwillburnamanwithasingletouch Imightwanttoplaywithfirethistime Asshewalksaway,Ifollow becausewhynot?Idon’tmindsomepainwithmypleasurebecausethisoneissuretoburn deep.Ifuckingloveachasetoo.
She doesn’t seemto notice or ifshe does, she isn’t givingme anyindicationas she makes her wayto anold red Ford Focus.Cuteforafirstcarorcollegeride,butforthiswomanwhoisclearlyallwoman,whatthehell?
Now,Ifindmyselfmorecurious ThecariscleanfromwhatIcansee AnNCStateWolfpackstickeronthebackwindow andanadvertisementforsomenutcompanyleavingmewonderingifthisisactuallyhercarormaybeayoungersister’s?She doesn’tstrike me as one to drive somethingbasic She’s rock-n-roll, fire, witha side ofsweet, she needs a car withflare Simplyput,shedoesn’tstrikemeasanormalsedandrivingchick.
More thanthat, this thingcan’tbe reliable. Atfirstglance, the bodystyle, this is anearlytwo-thousands model. Pushing twentyyearsonthesecarsisn’tsmartlikethoseclassics Ifthiswasacarfromthesixtiestoeighties,Iwouldstandbehindthe buildandlongevity.Thetimeframeofthishunkofmachineiswhencomputerskickinandeverythingisplasticasfuck.Not onlyisreliabilitysomethingtoquestion,butthesafetyisn’tthere Thiscarisclearlyreadyforretirement
Thelaughsandwhistlesbehindmegetmyattention.
“Damn,CountryBoychasin’tailbeforeweevengettotheparty,”IrecognizeStud’svoiceyelloutbehindmefollowedby awhistle.“That’swhatIliketosee,brother.”
“Fancy coffee means fancy pussy, Country Boy, better be careful there, Pres,” calls out Miles. I throw my head back
laughingasthesweetthinginfrontofmestopsatherdoorturningtofacemeonceagain.
Myexpectationof sass, anger, or embarrassment is met witha slysmirk. I studyher expectingsome sort of displayof embarrassmentatthebrashnessofmybrothers That’snotatallwhatIfind ThemischiefdancinginhereyeshasmealertasI stepintoherpersonalspaceagain.“Justwantedtohelpyougetyourcoffeesafelytoyourcar.”Iholdupthecupshegaveme.
Iwon’tapologizeforwhatanyoftheclubmemberssayforacoupleofreasons One,I’mnotthekindofmantoapologize unlessIfeellikeIdidsomeonewrong.It’sclearcut.MywordissolidandifIfuckup,I’llownit.Second,thisismylifestyle. TheseguysbehindmemattermorethananywomanI’veeverencounteredsoevenwhentheyarewrong,I’llbackthem Third, herembarrassmentorlackthereofinthiscaseisonher.Idon’tcontrolanyone’semotionsbutmyown.
Shesmilesproudly,“toldyoukeepthatone.Don’twantyourclubtogiveyoushitforsmellingsweet.”Shereachesupand patsmychestaselectricityshootsthroughmybodyathertouch “Can’tletthatbadboybikerstuffbeafaçade”
Nope,thisbroadisn’tshakenatallbyanyofus.
It’safuckingturnon
Thechallengelaid;Iaccept.“OhSweets,thisisnotafaçade.I’llgiveyouthebadboyandtherideofyourlife.”
Sheletsoutasmalllaughnotbackingdown,“I’msureyouwould”Sheshrugs “Anothertimemaybe,butfornow,Sugar,I gottago.You’recute,keepthatshitup.”Sherollsuponher tiptoes,withher lipsagainstmyear,shewhispers,“Justsoyou know,I’mfarfromfancypussy,butIdothinkwithyouitcouldbeawetpussy.Alas,wedon’thavetimeforthislittlegameof catandmouse,buttobeclear,Icanberough,dirty,flirty,lotsoffun,butI’mnotfancy,Sugar I’mallthingssweetandspicy Now,Igottagettoworkandyougottadowhatyoudo,sohaveagoodday.”
Sherollsbackdowntoflatfeet,andIsweartofuckmyjeansaregoingtobustfromtherockharderectionshegivesme withjustherwords.
Womentypicallywanttobethedamsel indistressorsomehow beweakerthanme.Thiswomaninfrontofme,she’snot afraidtobeatmylevel.She’snotafraidtoseewhatshelikesandmakeitknown.Myheartracesandmybodyfeelshot.Calm meislonggoneasmybodycomesalivebyherpresencealone.
Yeah,she’sawildone Thelevel ofconfidenceoozingfromher onlymakesmecravethefeel andtasteofher Thisisa dangerousthing,thelevelofintoxicationIgetfromhertease. Fuck!
Sheopensherdoorandclimbsinhercarleavingmeutterlyspeechless.Thenoisebehindmeseemstoquietasshewinks fromthedriver’swindow,“youridesafe,now,yahear.”
Ishakemyheadtobrushoffthefogoflustbetweenus.Didshereallygivemetheoldschooltelevisionshow,the Beverly Hillbillies, ‘ y ’all come back now, ya hear,’ reference?Ifulloutlaughbecauseit’scute.Sheseemstogetmoreattractiveand alluringbytheminute
Handingherthecoffee,“thinkyou’regonnaneedthisonetodaytoo,sweets.Youbesuretohaveagoodoneyourself.”
“Ithinkthislittlecatandmousewe’veplayedwillkeepmeawakeandonmytoesallday,butseein’asIdon’tknowthat yougotacupholderonthatbikeofyours,IsupposeI’llkeepit.Butonly‘cuzyouinsist,Sugar.”Shetakesitandplacesitin thecupholder.
“Ohdarlin’this catandmouse will definitelykeepmydickhardfor a while,” Iwinkthinkingsurelythis brashness will haveherrunningaway.
Instead,shebitesherbottomlip,“impressive”
SteppingbackIwatchasshestartshercar.Itsoundsroughandtheplumeofpurplesmokecomingoutoftheexhausttells meitfeelsjustasbadtothecartosimplyrunwhileparked Reachingup,Ipulloffmybaseballcapandextenditoutlikean invitationtohertoleave.Shegivesmeonelasthardsmolderinglookbeforepullingahead.Iputthecapbackon,backwardsas usual,andwatchherdriveaway.
Well,ifthisishowthisweekendisgoingtostart,it’sgoingtobeadamngoodone
ImakemywaybacktomybikejustasGrindercomesoutofthecoffeeshopwithaproudsmirk.Thatdirtyfuck.
“Ifeelmuchbetter,Pres”Hetellsmewhatisalreadywrittenonhisface
IlaughasIputmyhalf-shellhelmetbackon.“Well,Iimaginebeingasfullofshitasyouare,itdoesfeelgoodeverysingle timeyoudropthemrocksinthetoilet”
WebothmountandcrankourbikesasGrindersmackshiscutplayfullyonhischestbeforeyellingout,“Raisehell,praise dale!Timetorideout,Hellions.”
“R
PLANES, trains,andautomobiles,thesebarbecuesnevergetold.Thisisoneeventthewholefamilycomesto,andIswearit’s like a freakingcarnival Atthirty-five, Iwasn’taround for Roundman’s days, buttheysayhe would have ponyrides for the kidswhenDollwaslittle.Granted,thewayeveryonetellsit,Roundmanwasrougharoundtheedgesandscarytomost,buthe wasdamnputtyinDoll’shands Thatmanlovedbeingherdad Theyhadanincrediblebond,onepeoplestilltalkabouttothis day.
Tripppullsoutallthestops,butIcan’tsayIrememberafuckingponyride…yet.Itmightcomeinthefuture,maybehe’s waitingtohavegrandkidsorsomeshit Theredamnsureareenoughblowupjumpingthingsandslidestokeepthesekids,and adults,wornthefuckoutlater.Yeah,oncethedrinksstarthitting,theadultsclimbonthatshitmorethanthedamnkidsdo.Doll picksnewoneseveryyeartoaddtothewholeshebang
DollisRoundman’sdaughter,andtheonlychildheeverhad.Hefoundedtheclubandnowherman,Talon“Tripp”Crews istheoverallpresident.I’veonlybeenunderTripp’sleadershipfortheoverallHellionsclubandobviouslyStud’sbeforehe steppeddownandpatchedmeinasSalemburgChapterPresident.RoundmanisalegacyweallhopetoliveuptoasaHellion, aman,ahusband,father,andhumandamnbeing.
LoyaltyendsandbeginswiththeHellionsbrotherhood Thereisn’tanythingIwouldn’tdofor asinglepersonpresenton thiscompoundtoday.
Nowthecompound,ithasn’tchangedabit Thethreeflagsflyoutfrontandthebuildingsarestillthesame Thegarageisa placeforthebrotherstoworkontheircars,bikes,andasidebusiness,alongwiththeministorage.Thebacklotholdsthevans andtrucksoftheTransportcompanyandit’sall hereontheCrystal CoastofNorthCarolina.Thepaintmaybefreshenedup everyyear, butthe conceptis and always will be setup for the club firstand businesses second. Eventhe duplexes for the brothersarestillhereforwhentheoccasionarisesamanneedsacrashpad.Thecavewherewehavesermonhasnotchanged either
LikeIsaidbefore,thisiscominghomeasaHellion.
Everyonecatchesup,laughs,drinks,andevenIplayaroundortwoofcornholebeforedecidingtogetbehindthemicand singwith the band Doll brought in. I’mnot meant to be a rockstar, but get a few beers in me and I’ll sing a tune or two. Especiallylikethis,it’salljustfamilyspendingtimetogether.Thebarfliesaren’thereasthisisn’tthetimeorplaceforthem.
ThesongmovestothenextwherethebandiscoveringCharlieDaniels,Istayonthemic Dia,whohappenstobeTripp’s daughter,isdancingaround,singing,anddefinitelyteasingToon.Brother isdedicatedtoHaywood’s Landingandissolidas theycome He’sagoodguy,coveredintattoosofcartoonstothepointhelookslikeawalkingcomicbook Shesauntersupto himashestandsbythemakeshiftstagedancingaround,whilehe’ssimplynursingabeerandsingingwithmeandtheband.I cantellhe’stryingtoignoreherwhileshe’sdoingherbesttobeseenbyhimandhimalone
“Dia,don’t,”hewarnssternlyenoughIcanhearhimwhileI’msinging.
“Don’twhat,Toon?I’mhavingfun.It’saparty,loosenup.”
Hegivesherthislookthatisalmostpaininhiseyes,“remembertoloadyourbrainbeforeyoushootyourmouthoff” Well, brother may be solid as they come for the club, but he’s a dipshit when it comes to women. He’s definitely not winningpointswithherafterthatcomment Immediately,herfacefreezesasdoesherdancing.“Toon,whatthehell?”
WhileImayagreewithhissentiment,hisdeliverymightbealittletoodirect Sure,thinkingbeforeyouspeakisimportant, butwhendealingwitha woman,there are ways towordthings …his wayisn’trecommended.Plus,she’s Tripp’s daughter, that’s awomannottofuckwithonsomanylevels.Poor guy,he’s gotitbad,butI’mnotwadinginonthis shit.Noway,the
devilwentdowntoGeorgiaandmaybethat’swhereIshouldbe.Listeningtothesetwofeelscriminal.
Hetakes apull fromhis beer,“Dia,youandIbothknow wherethis heads.Theminuteyougetmeevensemi-alone,you starttalking Webothknowthisshitdoesn’tworkinanyversionofthestory Don’tfuckshitupwithyourmouth It’saparty,I gotabuzzgoing,don’tkillitwiththesamenonsensewehavebeenroundandroundaboutalready.”
Clearlyfightingbacktears,DiatakesoffasToongoesbacktosingingalongwiththebandlikehedidn’tcrushherheart Hisexpressionisstillpainedbutthereisahauntingtohiseyesthatscreamshedoesn’tlikehurtingher.
Whatever is there, Iwantno partofit We all know how RoundmanfeltwhenDoll gotwithTripp, or whatTankwent throughwithDanzaoverSass.Unspokenruleinthebrotherhood,stayawayfromthedaughtersofyourbrothers,butevenmore soyourleaders.Diaisaprincesstousall,Toonbettertreadcarefully.Evenifshewantshim,theywillhavetowalkthrough firetomakethatshitwork
Decidingtheirdramaisabuzzkillforme,Igivethemicbacktothebandandstepdownandgorighttothebarforanicecold Miller Lite Yes, this is a great dayto drinka drinkand have a pulled porkbarbecue sandwichwhere Danza comes aroundtomakeRoundman’sfamoussauce.
Funnythingwhenall thechapters aretogether likethis,thegreatsaucedebatealways begins Hereonthecoasttheonly kind of sauce they want is the vinegar-based Carolina tradition, but more towards the mountain region they like that red barbecuesaucethat’sthickerwiththeketchupandbrownsugar.I’lltaketheeasternversionalldayeverydaythankyou.Not thatIwon’teatthe other,butpreference is preference,andthis countryboylikes the thinvinegar basedsauce smotheredall over some straightoffthe cooker whole hogchoppedbarbecue.Bonus,ifIcansneaka ribbefore theystartchopping,it’s a definitewin
ThepartylastswellintothenightandTrippendsitwithabunchoffireworksIknowhehadtheSouthCarolinaboysbring up.NorthCarolinahassomecrazyrulesaboutfireworks,butaquicktripdownsouthwillgetthegoodones.BWfiresoffthe finalethatI’msurehepersonallychose.
BWisTripp’ssonwhohasmadeasolidnameforhimselfintheHellions.AsthenamesaketoRoundmanwithbothofthem beingnamedBlaine,hehastoughbootstofill,buthedoesitwell We’vehadhiminSalemburgwhendealingwithtransports andtruly,he’sabrotherIcallafriend.
That is the life of a biker Everymanhere is solid as a rockand will take your back We have all paid our dues as a prospecttoearnthiscut.Someguysthough,yousimplyknowthereisafriendshipbeyondthebrotherhood.BWisthatguyfor me.Idon’tseehimoften,butwhenIdoit’sgoingtobeagoodtime.
Asthingswinddown,ImakemywaytotheduplexI’llbecrashingintonight.Roundmanhadthesesetupagesagoandit’s betterthansleepinginatent.ThestoriesfromthepasttellofthetimesRoundmanandDanzawouldjusttakeoffontheirbikes foratransport,run,oreventogotoBikeWeekinDaytona Theywouldrideuntiltheyweretired,thenpullofftosomespotfor the night. Grabbingsleepingbags theystrapped to their sissybars, theywould unroll themand doze for a few hours before gettingupandhittingtheroadagain Sleepingonpavement,thatisrealdedicationtothelifeontheroad Can’tsayI’veever done it, butIwouldn’tbe above itifthe ride called for it. Times are differentnow, cell phones, GPS, hotels everywhere, I don’tknowthatatimewillcomewhereI’dhavetolivethatlife.Butdamn,itsuresoundsnice.
Shitisheavenwhenamanlikemecangetconsumedinaride Iwishlifewasn’tsobusy IfonlyIcouldtakeoffonsome randomrideandsleepwhereverthefucktheroadleadsme.Timeshavechangedanditsimplyisn’tsafetodothatanymore. Copsaresoquicktoshootfirst,onedoesn’tknowwhoissafeanymore Sideoftheroadnightsaren’tagoodideathesedays Settlingin,Istripdownandclimbinthebed.Thecrisplinensfallsoftlyagainstmyskin.Theyalljokeabouttheol’ladies cominginandcleaningupaftereachtimeaplaceisused Doll evenmakessuretobuythefancysheetsforus I’mafucking biker,sheetsdon’tmuchmatter,buttheymattertoher,soI’llbesuretotellherit’smybestnight’ssleepinalongdamntime tomorrow.
Iclosemyeyesandimmediatelythinkofher Thewomanfromthecoffeeshop. Ididn’tevengethername Damn,that’sashame.
Shewassoftinmyarms,relaxedinawayIdon’toftenencounterwithstrangers Usually,peopleseeusrollinginandthey stop,stare,andit’sliketheyarefrozen.Byfear,intrigue,ofwhichI’mnotsure. Herconfidenceisintriguing.Sheneverevenhadasinglehesitationinmypresence.Sheisstronginawaythatworksfor myworld Nomatterwhat,alwaysstayinit,rideitout Don’teverlookbackandzeroregrets MyeyescloseasthenightwinsandIfallasleep.
Rollingover,I’minstantlywokenbymycockthrobbingforrelease Whatthefuck?Ihaven’thadtoruboneoutinalong fuckingtime.Thebarfliesareinabundancetosuckorfuck,inanywayIwanttypically.Thedreamthatwokemewasofher, thewomanfromthecoffeeshop.
Vividly, my imagination had a vision of her mouth around my cock taking my length as far as she can but still falling short. Her hand wraps around my girth with her pinky extended to tease my balls as her hair tickles my thighs when her
head moves up and down while she strokes and sucks me off. I can’t get enough when she picks up the pace before moaning over my rock-hard cock My balls tighten as my eyes blink open before I can blow my load down her throat
Movingtogetoutofthebed,Ishakemyheadandrunmyhandthroughmybeard Shit,thatwomanispoisontoamanlike me.Makingmywaytotheshower,Ican’thelpbutstrokemylengthimaginingher beingrighthere.After beingthatcloseto releaseeveninadream,Ineedtoruboneout
“Ohyeah,sweets,watchwhatyoudotome,”IwhispertothequietairaroundmeasIgointothebathroomtoshower. Ineedtotakecareofthisandgetbackontheroad Bestbelieve,I’ll textVictoriatobereadywhenmyassgetsbackto Salemburg. She’s a barflydownfor a good time withzero expectations after. Fuckthis coffee chickrightoutofmysystem. Until then,myhandwiththe assistance ofmymemoryandimagination,I’ll take care ofmyself.Damnwomanhas me acting likeateenageboy Haven’tdonethisshitinalongfuckingtime
Steppingoutofthe shower, I’mtakenbysurprise whenmyphone alerts to a textfromTripp. He has a transportfor my crew
While we all have our ownthinggoingoninSalemburg, we still have anobligationto the Hellions Transports. This is somethingthat has beenpart of the Hellions before mytime Tripp and his cousinRexownand operate Crews Transports whichis a legitimate truckingcompany. However,longbefore theywere eventhoughtabout, RoundmanandDanza rantheir ownversion.
Thisisanine-one-oh So,it’sanoffthebooks,watchyoursix,transportforaclient Ashellionsweareusuallyprettysafe whenrunningthroughtheCarolinas.Controllinginterestinmostpolicedepartmentsgetstheboysinbluetolooktheotherway iftheyseeoneofourrigs Whenwetakejobsthattakeusfurtherout,thegamechangesasdoesthedanger Everychapterhasa fewbrotherswithCDLendorsementsontheirlicensetobeabletorunthesekindsofthings.
Typically,thesetransportsinvolvecarryingitemsthatmayormaynotbeontherightsideofthelaw.Iguessitdependson how you look at it. What is a law? Adirective froma man, always, but the government has their systemfor laws… as a Hellion,Ihavemypersonaldirectivesandittrumpsallthelaws.IhavemyowncodetolivebyandIsleepwellatnightliving onmyterms Fuckwhatanyoneelsethinks
Wedon’tdealwithhumantraffickingever.Guns,drugs,money,cars,merchandiseofanyvarietyareallfine.Wedon’tdeal inthebuyingandsellingofpeople It’sahardline
AnotherthingfortheHellionsiswomenandchildren.Wedon’tfuckwithafucker’sfamily.IfIhaveaproblemwithaman, IpromiseyouIhavetheballstofacethatmanandfuckthatman’swholeworldandIdon’tneedtofuckhiswifetodoso.I’ve heardstorieswheredumbfuckshavecrossedthatlineanditneverendswellforthem.Thatsaid,someonefuckswithours,we don’t hesitate to end their entire bloodline if necessary. If a womanstays inher place, out of myworld, I’ll leave her be regardlessofwhatIdotoherman Shewantstocrossintothiswell,it’saman’sworldshewalkedintoandI’lltreatherlikea mantoo.Innocentwomenandkids,noway,nohow.Idon’tneedthebadkarmainmylifeforthatshit.
Iwon’taskwhat’sinthistransport,Trippwon’teither Wehavedefinedourplaceintheunderbellyuglinessandeventhe criminalsknownottopushtheirluck.
Throwingonjeans,Ituckmyjunkbeforetossingonmyblackt-shirtandcut.Idon’tbotherzippingandbuttoningyetasI makemywayouttothecommonareaoftheduplex Roundmansettheseupyearsagowithacommonsittingarea,smallkitchen inthecenterwithfourseparatebedrooms,eachwiththeirownbathroomoffthecommonspace.
“Grinder,Raff,Dove,let’sgetthefuckup”MyvoiceisraspyfromthelongnightandsingingasIcalloutforthem Lookingaround,Igoaboutmakingcoffeeasmybrotherseachemerge,allinadifferentstateofundress.
“Gotatransport We’regoingtoTexas Weleavetomorrowsowegottasortshitnow Grinder,plantheroute,I’vetexted youthedestinationanddateofarrival.”
Henodsashepullshist-shirtoverhishead.
“Dove,knowyouloveyourjunk,brother,butputthehammerawaysowecanhandleclubbusiness”
God help the motherfucker;he swears he’s gota cockthathe canhammer a nail inwith. Sure, he’s hunglike a fucking horse,butasaman,Idon’twanttoseeallthatshitbeforeI’veevenhadabeeroracupofcoffee NotthatIwanttoseeitever Dove,helovestobenakedanddoesn’tgivetwoshitsaboutwhoseeshim.Morethanonceeachofushavewalkedinonthe fuckerasbarebottomedasthedayhewasborn
Hereachesdownandgrabshislimpdick.“Alwaysgotmytoolsready,brother.”
WealllaughbecauseDoveisalwayshappytotalkaboutorshowoffhiscock.Idon’tknowthathe’lleverfindawoman whocankeepupwithhim
“Forthatone,yougetthetransport,”Raffcallsout.
Shakingmyhead,“really?I’mnextondriverotation He’sgonnagodowntheinterstatewithhiswangout Comeon,Raff, youtaketheridewithme.”
Helaughs,“nah,Igotshitonthecalendarbackhome.Ifthiswasdoordie,I’dfigureitout.ButyougotthisoneCountry Boy.”
Inodbecauseit’smytimeandIdon’tmindthetransports.Wetrytogotwotogether,justtocoverourbacks.Notallofus
haveaCDLtodrivetherigs,butIdo.Thatmeansit’smyturnfortheopenroadthereforeI’lldoasrequestedbyTrippandtake theload.EvenifitdoesmeanI’llbestuckwithDovewholovestofindeveryplacepossibletoexposehimself.
Wrappingthingsupintheduplex,Igetmybikesecuredandmygobagmovedtothetruck Dovedoesthesame Getthis onegoingandgetbacktolife.Shouldbeeasy.
ThedaygoesonwithtruckpreparationalongsideGrindergivingmetheplanforourroute For aMonday,it’s aquietonejustgettingorganized.Tonight,wewill gograbsomefoodandcrashhereintheduplexes again Tomorrowmorning,wewilllineupwithmeintherigandtheclubatmybackpullingoutofthecompound TexasboundwithHellionsallaround…forafewmilesanyway.
“I’M NOT SUPERVISOR MATERIAL.I’M JUST A WORKPLACE VIGILANTE. ”
NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN, IthinkasIopenthemostrecentemailfrommyboss.IfonlymysidebusinesswouldtakeoffsoI couldleavebehindthepoliticsofthisjob Tospendmyfreetimelostbehindthepagesofmyfavoritesmutbookswhilesharing qualitypecanswiththeworld,thatwouldbeadream.Iknowitsoundssimple,butreallyIlovepecans.Ihavecreatedaniche productthatisdoingwellatfarmer’smarketsandcraftshowsaroundthestate Mydayjobisstillnecessarythough Farmchecks,Ilovethem.Thelastfewyears,I’vebuiltagoodrelationshipwiththefarmers,andtheynolongerdreadthe farm inspections. Plus, I try really hard to come out to them with a new grant to try for or some kind of cost-effective innovationsoI’mnotsimplytheretopickaparttheiroperation
ThepartofmyjobIdislikeinvolvesmybossandeveryoneoverhim.First,mostofthemdon’tactuallystayontopofthe ever-changingclimate needs and financial needs ofthe agricultural industryas a whole Too manypeople intheir positions focus on the politics and not the groundwork these farmers deal with. Second, I have a healthy appreciation for their administrative degrees, however, the lackofknowledge beyond the bottomline frustrates me. Whataboutthe environmental impact?Doanyofthemworrywiththelongtermimplicationsoffarmingfromboththesideofthefarmerandtheconsumer? Withoutlandtofarm,weasacountryarereliantonimports.Withoutsoilqualitytestsinplace,thefoodproductionsuffers,and againwebecomereliantonimports
Mypassionlies insustainable farmingwitha true impactbothinthe environmentandfor the farmers’bottomdollars.If theycan’tmakealivingdoingwhattheylove,thengrowinglocalgoesaway Don’tweshipinenoughfoodtotheUnitedStates asitis?
I’mnotapaperpusherandneverhasthatbeenwhatIwanttofocuson.Anythingreallythatgetsmeoutofthisofficeandin thefreshairmakesmehappy.Iamnotbuiltforthisdesklife.
Really,somepeoplethriveincaptivity…Iamnotthatperson.Luckily,Ihaveanoffice,withaniceexecutivedeskanda chairsoI’mnotinacubicle Seriously,though,Idon’tlikefeelingstuck,thewallseasilycloseineverysingleday,excepton fielddays.MyjobwiththestateagriculturedepartmentcomeswithmanytitlesandIwearmanyhatsjugglingmultipleregions sinceweareshort-staffed
Maybeit’sbecauseIgrewuponmygrandparents’farm.MaybeIgetitfrommymom.She’sstrong,opinionated,andwon’t be held backbyanyone. She is also the mostonthe go personI’ve ever met, so offices reallyaren’ther thingeither unless absolutelynecessary Idon’tknowexactlywhatitisinsideofme,butreallymytolerancefortheofficebullshitisminimalat best.
Weallhaveajobtodo
Come in, do the shit, go home, and do whatever makes you happy. Only I have to work within guidelines written by politicianswhohaveneveroncesteppedfootinacornfield Theydon’tunderstandthedireneedwehaveinNorthCarolina forchangesinlaws.Farmersstrugglewithcropdiversification.Theoldtimersknewtorotatecrops.Therotationdoesn’tmean pickanyoldthing.Thereisasciencebehindit.Pickthecropthatgivesnitratesbacktothesoiliftheyearbeforethecropwas onetostripitbare Whenthegovernmentstepsinthreateningfinesorbiggerrestrictionsifafarmerdoesn’tplantaccordingto theirrequirements,itchangesthelandscapeoffarmingfortheland.
ThesimplelifeourgreatgrandparentslivedbyisoneIclingtonow Thefarmersofyesteryearweren’thinderedbystrict governmentregulations.Asakid,Irememberfieldsoftobaccooneverybackroad.Nowtherearepracticallynone.
Why?Becausethegovernmentregulationsandcrackdownoncigarettemanufacturershaskilledthedemand Onlythatisn’t allthathappened.That’swhatthegeneralpublicthinks,wheninrealitythegovernmentpaysmoreforafarmertoletafieldsit emptyovergrowingtobacco.Atleasttheyusedto.Now,it’salittlemoretricky.
Ihavethisinternalneedtobeinvolvedinfarming.It’sinmybloodandmyverysoul.Mygrandfatherworkedfulltimeat thesheriff’sofficebutstillranalargefarmforthecommunity.It’sbecomeafamilythingtokeepgoingandit’simportanttous all Sellwhatisgrowntothelocalmarketsasmuchaspossible,becausethereissimplynothingmoresatisfyingthanknowing youarehelpingyourneighbor.Thatisn’tthefarmingweknowtoday.
Whatwehaveiscorporateandpoliticalbullshitwrappedupinregulationsandcoststhatlinethepocketsofthebigboys sitting in some position that is voted on by the people for the people. Only the people don’t know behind the scenes of a farmer’slife OurcurrentproblemwithAGrightnow,especiallyinNorthCarolina,isallaboutgovernmentrestrictions There are less laws, rules, and regulations onimported food. Yes, take thatin, the governmentgives easier provisions for outside countriestoimportfoodtousratherthansupportourownpeoplesustainingourcountry.ThemoreIlearn,themorepassionate Igetaboutkeepinglocalfarmsgoing
That adventure of enlightenment changed me. College is a big deal to my parents. Thankfully, there is a degree in agriculture Istartedthis jobas apassiontohelpfarmers Thatlittle piece ofpaper gave me theoptions tohavea career in agriculture.IneverimaginedIwouldhaveapositioninthestateliterallydoingmyparttohelpeachandeveryfarmerIcan. It’smyjobtohelpfarmersknow anduseall grantfundsavailable ItalsomeansIgettogooutandinspectprojectsthatare ongoing.
ThedownsideismybossseemstothinkI’msomekindofsuperhero.Thefarmsarespacedout.I’monepersonandeven thoughourregionsaredivided,Icurrentlycovertwowide-spreadareas Thedaysarelong,butIlovehelpingthelocalfarms expandortryanewcrop.
Todayisafieldinspection,afarmsitevisit Exceptasastateweareshortstaffedandhavebeenforoverayear Lately, I’vedonethemalone,whichIlove!However,mybossthinkswehavethepersonforthejobintheotherregion,buttheyneed some training. This means I get the privilege of a shadow. Insert mister fresh, clean, and not a speck of dirt under his fingernails,Jesse.Hewillhopefullypayhisduesquickly,getoutofmyhair,andreignoverthepiedmontregion.
“Wearegoingoutinthefield,Jesse.Notsureifyouknow,butthatmeansrubberbootsandclothesthataren’t…well,what you’vegoton”
Seriously,thismanishereinasuit.Itakemyjobtoheart.Iamprofessionalanddressaccordingly,butwhenwehavefield daysliketoday,thisisn’tfunctional Ipromiseasuitisnotproperattire Ourfarmerswilleitherlaughathimoractlikehe’s notthere.
“Thiswillbefine,Sara.”Hisattemptatassertionislaughable.
“Suit yourself,” yes, I did mean the pun, “in case no one told you, the dry-cleaning bill is not considered a valid reimbursableexpense.”
“Sara,this is thethirdweekwehaveworkedtogether Everyfieldinspectionyouhavesomethingtosayaboutmyattire Wehaven’toncebeeninanactualfieldonthesemeetingswithfarmers.Iknowyouwereofferedthesupervisorposition,butto beclearasofthismoment,youarenotmysupervisor Therefore,isitreallyyourplacetoknockmysuit?”
Ilaughoutloud;Ican’tstopmyself.“Buddyboy,youshouldknow,Iturneddowntheposition.I’mnotsupervisormaterial. I’maworkplacevigilante.Youwanttowasteyourhard-earnedmoneyonclothesthatwillgetruinedifwegotoahogfarm, thendoit Iwon’tsayanotherword”
Hejerkshisheadback,“hogfarm?”
“Oh, bless your heart, yeaha hogfarm We are the AGdepartmentfor the state Hogfarmingfalls under the agriculture department.AndyoudounderstandOSHAandtheir regulations alongwiththeFDAandall oftheirs,wetoohaverules and regulations toadhere to includingatthe hogfarms And,” Iputmyhandonmychestfor dramatic effect,“sometimes,we havetowalkinthemucktogetarealvisualonthehealthandwell-beingofthefuturebacon.”
Thefearonhisfaceiskillingme.Iwanttolaugh,butIcan’tbecauseI’mnotsurehecanhandleit.
“Ithoughtwewenttofarms,sure,totalktofarmers Mostlyourroleistomeetwithcommunityboardsanddoourbestto promotegrantopportunitieswithinthestate.Notthatwewouldbepresentatahogfarminthehogwaste.”
Well,buddyboy,lifeisfullofshit,sometimesyouhavetostepinit Ifwegetlucky,wewon’thavetorollinitwiththe hogs.Ishakemyhead,“Jesse,ifyou’rethisshakenupaboutahogfarm,youwon’tbelievehowbadthepoultryfarmssmell. It’sourjobtohelpfarmersinallareasnotjustplant-basedones Anditmeanstrulyseeingallaspectsofaworkingfarm”
“This is not what I signed up for. We’re consumed in crops. Corn, wheat, soy, it’s solid. I don’t see where we as a departmentneedtotacklelivestock.”
I laugh out loud; I can’t hold it back “We oversee all agriculture developments and facilities for the state of North Carolina.Thatiswhatyousignedupfor.”Ishakemyheadathim.“Itoldyouwewerebehindschedule.Thesechecksshould havebeendonetwomonthsago Youneedtolearnthissoyoucangetoutthereinyourregion”
Standingandmovingtowardsmyofficedoor,Ipathimontheshoulder,“well,it’sagoodthingyou’repretty.”Idon’tfinish thestatement,butlordknowsIwantto.Dudeisveryluckyhe’sgotgoodlooks,becausehedoesn’thavemuchforbrains. Yep, he’s lucky he’s pretty, his head isn’t going to get him far in life.
Hestandsbesidemeinshock.
Igiveahalfsmile.“Yougoaheadandputinyourpersonaltime;I’llheadouttothefieldtoday.Haveagoodone,Jesse,”I mutterasIkeepwalkingawayfromhimandtomycar.
Somepeoplearen’tcutoutforthisjob He’soneofthem It’snotmyjobtohireorfire,sohecanweedhimselfout
After a longfew hours attwolocal hogfarms inGoldsboro,Imake a stopinthe Kinstonoffice tofinishupmyreports. Everythinghas to have a paper trail especiallyfor hogfarms These poor people have spenttheir lives dedicated to ethical raisingand processingofhogs to meetgrowingsupplydemands nationwide. The lastfew years theyhave all beenhitwith lawsuitafterlawsuitforthesmellandsurroundingpropertyvalueissues Thesepeoplesuing,especiallytheoneswhobought theirhomesknowingthehogfarmwasnextdoorpissmeofftohighheavens.Hello,thelegalfeesthesefarmerswastefighting thebullshithastogetcoveredsomewhere,hencetheever-risingpriceofbacon.
Andfortherecord baconislife
Youcan’tconvincemeotherwise.
Ido whatIcanto getthemgrants and stayontop ofreportingthattheyare keepingto state standards Lord knows they don’tneedanymoretrouble.
WhenIfinallygettomycar toheadhome,it’s dark,it’s late,andI’mhungry!The drive fromKinstonhome uphighway fifty-eightisn’tbad,otherthantheoccasionaldeerinthefallthatjumpsoutintheroad.Thequietofthenightonlymakesitfeel likemycar’smostrecentknockingnoiseislouderthanusual.Ishouldprobablygetanew car.It’snotthatIcan’taffordit,I justdon’tseeareasonto
Thiscarwasmygrandmother’sandpassedontomeforcollege.She’sseenbetterdays,butshe’salsolikeabestfriend.I hadmyfirstdatewithmyfirstloveinthiscar Alongsidethat,Ihadmyfirstbreakupandheartbreakinthiscar She’sheldall mysecrets.Shedoesn’tjudgemeforthebooksIlovetoreadbecauseletmetellyouaudiobooksaresecondtobaconinlife necessities.LittleRedheredoesn’tsayapeepaswelistentobookafterbookformileaftermile.Currently,I’mlovingLiberty Parker’sDreamcatcherMCseries.ThiscurrentoneissteamywithacapitalS.
“Yes,I’llbeyourforever,”Itellthespacearoundme. Give me a bearded biker, yes please, I can do this forever thing, you betcha
I’mgettingexcitedtogethome.It’sgoingtobepajamas,snacks,mytablettofinishthisone,andsnuggleswithPennyand Lilly,mydogs BeforeIcanplananythingelse,thereisarattle,ashimmy,athud,andaclankasmycardies
Tossingmyheadbackinfrustration,Iwanttoscream.It’salmostnineatnight,onaMonday,whennoonewillbeonthis road,andIhavenocellserviceeither.Welcometolifeinthecountry,trulyI’minthedamnsticks.
“Comeonbaby,don’tdieonmeyet,”ItrycoaxingLittleRedbacktolifeasIturnthekey. Thereisawhine,Itakeadeepbreathasshecranksbackup.Whew.“AfewmoremilesandIpromisetogetyouserviced soon,”ItellthesamelietoherthatI’vebeensayingforweeks
Ican’tevengetherindrivebeforeshediesagain.Islammyhandintothesteeringwheel,“Seriously,fuckmylife!” Lookingdowntomyphone,Iturnitoffandbackon,hopinglikehellI’llgetevenonebar IknowI’mnotfarfromHadnot CreekandI’llgetreceptionthere.
Ilovethecountrylife,butthiskindofshitisdefinitelythebadsidetoit.
AllthoughtsoffinishingmybookaregoneasIfeeltheweightoftheworldcrashingdown Factis,I’mgoingtohavetogetanewcar.
Truthis,Idon’thavethefirstclueastowhatIreallywant IthoughtIwantedtheFordBronco,butwiththewayIhavetodriveonfielddays,Idon’tthinkit’seconomicalforthegas costs IconsideredaJeep,butagainit’sthesamethingcostwiseonfuel Ifsomeone wouldhave toldme adultingwouldsuckthis much,Iwouldhave refusedtosignupor something.Seriously, thisshitisforthebirds.
Sittinginthemiddleoftheroad,inthedarkisn’tsafe GuessI’llpushitofftheshoulderthenwalkuntilIcanmakeacall Hopefullyoneofmyparentsarehomeandcancomepickmeup.Theydon’tlivetoofaraway.
WithLittleRedinneutral,Iexitthevehicleandgetmyselfsetuponthesideusingthedriver’sdoor asleveragetopush andstillbeabletosteer.I’mmakingheadwayintogettingherclearoftheshoulderwhenIhearthatsound.
Thethunder
Yes,thatveryrumble.
Theoneeveryonearoundhereknows.
TheHellionsareclose
ReleasingmygriponthesteeringwheelIthrowmyhandsupintomyhairinfrustration.“Whyme!I’mexhausted,Ismell likeafuckinghogfarm Mycarhasrejectedmeinallmybeggingandpleading,andnowofalltimes,theHellionsareriding through.”
Thewordscomeoutofmymouthintothewindandarequicklymuffledbythesoundsofthebikescomingcloser.Iseethe headlightsfacingmeandrealizethereareonlyfourofthem.
Timefreezesasthebikesslowdownandthenstopbeforeturningaroundtocomebacktome.
Thiscan’tbehappening.
Assoonashe’sclose,Iimmediatelyrecognizethebeardedonefromthecoffeeshop.He’sleadingthemashetakesoffhis helmetleavinghisbackwardbaseballhatinplace
“Hellodarlin,”hesayswithasoftsoutherndrawl.
“Ohsugar,noneedtogetallConwayTwittyonme Igotarideontheway,”Iliewantingtocrawlundermycarandnever comeoutagain.
Heturnshishead,“Stud,yougotroomatHoney’s?”
“For you,always,”themanontheredHarleywithasilver goateesays as heshifts togetaphonefromhis backpocket. “Fuckman,noservice.I’llrunupandgetJaspertogetthetowtruckoutofthelotformeandwe’llgethertothecompoundfor tonight Tomorrow,I’lltakehertoHoney”
“Perfect,” mynew biker buddytells him. Not perfect, is mythought. Idon’tknow who Honeyis and Idon’tknow what havingaprivatetowfromaHellioncosts Lord,thisisnotmynight
Studlookstome,“Alrightgorgeous,youleavethekeysinthecupholder,I’llberightbacktogetyourride.CountryBoy will give youa business card, call Honeytomorrow afternoonand she cangive youthe eta onthe returnof your vehicle Jasper,he’llgetyourridetoHoney’sinthemorning.”
Thesemenjusttakechargewithoutstoppingtoconsultme.Normally,thiswouldpissmerightthefuckoff.Iamcapableof callingformyowntowtruck grantedthatisn’tgoingtohappeninthisverydeadzone Andreally,howmadcanIgetwhen hestartsthewholethingoutwith, alright gorgeous?
“That’sStud,he’sgotafamilybusiness,Honey’sHotRods”Beardedhotbikerexplains
Ilaughtryingtocontrolmymanymixedthoughts,“Ummm‘preciateya,butsugar,Ithinkyouneedsomeglasses.Maybeyou shouldn’tbe drivingatnight. This car here, she’s nota hotrod. Honeybear, poohbear, whoever, will become grumpybear dealingwithLittleRedhere.”
HelaughsandIswearmydamninsidesclinchasawarmthrunsthroughme.
“Honey,sheisStud’sdaughter,sherunsshit,andshehasherways They’llgetherfixedforya Shejustspecializesinhot rods,butshecanliterallyfixanything.Wedon’thaveaPoohBear.”
WhatamIsupposedtosay?IguessmycarisgoingtoHoney “Seein’as there ain’ta lickofservice outhere, Ihave a feelin’your ride ain’tcomin’, Sweets. Hop onand I’ll take ya home,”hestatescalmlyasStudtakesoffapparentlytothecompoundtosortmyshit. WhatthehellamIsupposedtodo?AllIcanthinkisyouonlyliveonce. Merideonhismotorcycle…allthesmutbooksintheworldhavenotpreparedmeforthismoment. Holyhell,whathaveIgottenmyselfintonow?
