PROLOGUE
FiredancesaroundmeastheonesIlovehaveturnedoneachotherwithhatefuelingtheirhearts Iholdmyhandsout,fighting backtheflameswiththewaterwithinme,themagicpulsingthroughmyveins. Hedidthis,becauseofhisjealousy.Hemadethedeal thatsealedourfates–afateIneverwantedforanyofthem.Death wasadreamthatIneverhad,andyetitwillforeverbethenightmaretheycan’tescape FlameslicktowardmyfeetandImoveagain,castingthemawaywithaflickofmywrist.EveniftheytouchmeIwon'tburn. Hestandstheresneeringbeforeshoutinganordertohismen Hiscreaturesofdarknessslinkbetweentheshadowsandflames astheybringsomethingout.Ican'ttellwhatitisthroughthemaddeningchaos.
Menandwomenstandbehindmeaswefightforeverythingwebelievein,afightwehaveneverpreparedfor.Theirpowers weren'tmeantforwarbutasgifts,andyet,theyfightbesidemeanyway.Thestenchofsmoke,rot,anddeathlingersintheair. Shieldingmyeyes fromtheheatoftheflames withmyhands,Ilookup,noticingwhatthecreatures broughtout.Myknees crumble andthe rocks beneathdigintomyskinas Isee mybelovedtiedtoa pole inthe middle ofa platform It's for himI fight,forhimIdestroythosethatIlove.Forhim,Iwilldoanything.Theflamesinchtowardhim,inchinginsteadofswarming becausethebetrayerwantsmetosuffer,towatchasmyloverdies
Reachingmyarmoutandknowingit'sworthlessbecausemypowerscan'treachthatfar,butIhavetotryanyway.Theflames wraparoundhimandhescreams,thesoundechoesallaroundme.It'sallIcanhear,butIcan'tlookawayandIscreamtoo. Icesproutsfrommypainenvelopingme,creatingacoolnessamidsttheheat.
“A læ t neni pe , o a læ pengæ pe wæ lomo popo ra læ,” Iscreaminto the wind, reachingfor the dagger atmyside. It's hopeless Ican'twinthis Notnow,nottoday ButIcangivethemonemoregift
HOne
CARNAXA
is ruddyfingers diginto her goldensun-kissed thighs as he thrustup into her, her skingrindingagainstthe stone behind them Hisoilyhairfallsontohisfaceasshemoansagainsthisneck Hishandscomeuptograbherwrists,takingthemand placingthemhighaboveherhead.Themusclesofhisbackbulgeanddipashecontinues,theirpacequickening.Herbangles clinktogetherwitheachthrust,thesamebanglesthatmatchmyown Differentshadesofsilverandgoldthataregiftsfromour motherswhoarenolongerwithus.
ThemanisofnorealstatusbutthisishowSiphoniewantsit Howshealwayswantsit Quickandtothepoint,notsavinga lotofroomfordiscussionorgettingtoknowoneanother.Thishasbeenherpreferenceforthepastcouplemonths,whileheis dockedinAntalis,before he sets sail across the seas again.She buys her pleasure here atthe docks because it’s convenient withnostringsattached Herpalepinkhaircascadesdownaroundherandfinally,shegripshisshouldersfindingherpleasure asthemanpantshisreleaseintoher.
Heslowlylowersherontothegroundandshestraightensherskirtbeforetossingafewcoinsattheman “Thanks!”shesays over her tawnyshoulder as the manbends downpullingup his trousers and grabbingthe coins that lie onthe edge of the woodendock
“Alwaysapleasure,Princess.”Hesmirks,runninghishandthroughhisgoldenlocks.
“I'mnotthePrincess”–shelookstowardmeandsmiles–“sheis.”Shetakesastepbackandhegrabsheronemoretime aroundthewaistpullingherdeepintohismuscledarms
“Youaremyprincess,atleastwhenIaminsideyou.”Hekisseshercheekagainbeforelettinghergoandheadsbacktoward hismen
“Are you ready, Naxa?” Siphonie asks me, trying to adjust her hair. Only those closest to me call me by my childhood nickname,mostcallmeCarnaxaAlthister,PrincessofAntalis.
“DoIalwayshavetocomewithyou?Imean,honestly,whatfunisthisforme?Watchingyouwithyourmanoftheseason” Shelaughs.“Well,mydearone,it'snotfunforyou.Youareheretowatchandmakesurenoneofthesementhinktheycanget awaywithanythingIdon'twishtohappen Idohavemylimits,youknow”
We walkacross the canal and backonto the mainstreets of Antalis. The oceanwaves crashagainst the bridge, shooting dropsofwaterontous AntalisisoneofthreekingdomsthatmakeuptheNorthernContinentofAshonera
The guards glance toward us and smile as we pass. Their golden armor glints in the afternoon sunlight, our kingdom’s symbol,thetridentetchedingoldacrosstheirbreastplate.Eventhoughweareamostlypeacefulkingdom,theguards’swords, andshieldsareattachedtotheirsides Thesoldiersaretrainedasifwarisonourdoorstep Ournavalfleet,the Shayi Maka, isoneofthebestfromwhatIhear.AndaccordingtoSiphonie,oursoldiers,bothmaleandfemale,aretrainedformanyother thingsaswell,theirpassioninthebedroomthemostwidelydiscussed
Theoceanglittersas pitongi birdsflyhighanddiplowtocatchfish,thesmellofitallsurroundingus.Thesmellofhome. “Do youhave limits? Because sneakingoffto find pleasure witha fishermaninstead ofyour husband doesn'tseemto be one.”
Shesighsandrollsherlighthazeleyes.“Ourmarriagewas,andstillis,apoliticalarrangementthatyourfatherputtogether. Rhenordoeswhathedoes,andIdothesame”
SiphonieandRhenorwerebetrothedwhenshewasbutthirteen.SheandRhenormarriedtwolunaryearsagowhenshewas eighteen,andhehasbeenkindtohereversince “Rhenor is aconsiderateman.”Shehooks her armwithmineas wecontinuetowalkdownthecobblestonestreets.“Your fathermadesureofthat.Rhenorissixteenyearsmyseniorandhetoldmethathewouldneverforcehimselfonme,nordoeshe expectmetolovehim.It'swhyhissisterraisedmewhenIcameintotheirhousehold,hethoughtitstrangetoraisehisfuture wife.Soinsteadofanormalweddingnight,hemademethatoathandit'sonehe'slivedby.Heisn'tbadtolookateithernora badlover” She raises her handtocover her eyes fromthe glaringsun “He still misses her youknow,his firstwife Ithink that'swhyheneverexpectsmetolovehim.Idon’tthinkhecouldeverlovemelikehedidher.Maybeoneday,butthatdayis nottoday”Herhandtightensaroundmyarmandsheglaresupahead “Getready”
Isquint,lookingtowardwheresheglances,andseeEreonashewalkstowardus,hischestnutbrown,curledhairbouncing ashewalks.Hisstunningwhiteteethshowashegrinsfrombetweenfulllips.Hiswarm,ivoryskinglistensbeneaththesun’s glare.His guards standjustthree steps behind him, a customfromhis home, the KingdomofShaston, where his father King Atlasrules.TheShastonians haveaharder lifethanthoseofAntalis accordingtorumors.Theyareknownfor their prowess bothonandoffthebattlefieldandtheypridethemselvesonit Theyhavealifewithoutthepeaceoftheocean'swater,livingin the northeastofour continent,a place rumoredtobe cursedbythe Goddess.The CartilenMountains separate themfromthe other kingdoms, and there is only one path that leads through those mountains, only traveled when necessary due to the creatureslurkingthere.
“Good afternoon, Princess Carnaxa,” he greets me as he bows atthe hips, “Bêlit Siphonie.” His off-white tunic is a stark contrasttothedarknessofhiseyesandhair Hiseyesaresuchadeepbrown,onemightlosethemselvesinhisgaze,ignoring anydangersthatmaybelurkingwithin.
Icurtsy “Goodafternoon,PrinceEreon It'salovelydayforawalk” His intense eyes lookbacktoward Siphonie, slightlysmilingas he takes inher disheveled hair and sweatstill glistening againsther flushedskin Shereadjuststhedeep-vofher neckline “I'msurethat'swhatyouwerebothalsodoing,enjoyinga walk.”HewinksatSiphonie,andtohercreditshedoesn'tfalter.Siphonie’sreputationhasapparentlyreachedhisears.When Prince Ereon’s soldiers first arrived, she found her way into several of their beds. Despite my constant worry over the rumored,ruthlesssoldiers,shefoundtheircompanythrilling
Siphonie,mycousin,has beenraisedinAntalis.Sheworries notabouttheopinions ofothers andembraces our cultureof free sexuality, whichwe have found some foreigners who travel to our kingdomdo notunderstand She smiles rightbackat him,“Youwouldn'tbeonthesametypeofwalk,wouldyou?YouarebetrothedtoourlovelyCarnaxaafterall.” He smirks and crosses his arms infront of him “I amgoingto visit the fishingmarkets to see about gaininga few new memberstomyguard.WhenPrincessCarnaxareturnstoShastonwithme,Iwantasmuchprotectionaspossibleforher.The wayhomecanbetreacherousattimes.”Myskinflushesbeneathhisgazeashereachesoutandtucksapieceofmycerulean wavyhairbehindmyear,“Hersafetyandhappinesswillbemyresponsibilityafterall,nottoomanymoonsfromnow”
Myfather,theKingofAntalis,madethismatch.KingAtlasofShastonandmyfatherhaveneverbeenabletoseeeyetoeye. TheGreatWarwasthebiggestbattlebetweenthekingdomsandwe’vestillhadourskirmishesthroughtheyears However,no matterhowhardweworktokeepthepeacethetensionisalwaysnear,theKingofShaston,constantlyinavolatilestate.The kingdombetweenus, Midaeliea,tries tokeep the peace amongour three kingdoms ofAshonera. The KingdomofMidaeliea takesuponitselftheroletocallasummitofourthreekingdomseverythreelunaryears.
Antalis is not the largest kingdom on our continent, but we have the sea. We have our ancestors, we have protection
surroundingusandwehavetheblessingsoftheGoddess.LeavingmyhometotraveltoShastonisnotsomethingIwant.Idon’t wanttoleaveAntalis withthepossibilityofour magicawakening.Myfather swears themagicofour landis longgone,but we've all heard the rumors and prophecies brought from the Southern Continent People there talk of another war that approaches,onethatwillchangetheworld.Heremembersthestorieshisgreat-grandfathertoldhimofmagicalcreaturesthat lingered inthis world and protected it, the wəngesk thatcame to the call ofthe Goddess duringthe GreatWar None ofthe magichasbeenseensincetheendofthatwar,butwecontinuetopraytoHer,forHerprotection,andhopethatShewillbring themagicandHerblessingback
“Naxa,I'msure,isexcitedtoseethebeautiful KingdomofShaston,PrinceEreon.”Siphoniedigsherfingersintomyside, pulling me back from my scattered thoughts, and I quickly smile and nod in agreement. My tutors used to have the same problemwithme,Iwasalwaysonetogetdistractedandlostinmythoughts,mydreams,andmyworries
“Yes, absolutely.” Iglance atthe Prince, the muscles inhis neckare slicked withsweatfromthe summer heat. “Are you beginningtoenjoyourclimatehere?”
Hewipesatthesweatcollectingalonghisstrongbrowandsighs,“No,IthinkIpreferoursathome.It'shotandcoldtobe sure,butwhatevermakestheairsothickhere,makingithardertobreathe,canstayinAntalis However”–heleansinclose enoughIcanfeel his breathonmyear –“Iwill miss these gorgeous dresses thatyour kingdomis accustomedto.” He leans backandstepstothesidetoadmireme;mycheeksheat.
Asapeople,wedon'tfeeltheneedtocoverupone'sbody Ourtunicsanddressesaresimplegarments Womenareusually seenwearingtwo-piecedresses,ourmid-driftsondisplay,andmostofouritemsaremadeofgauze-likefabric.FromwhatI havelearned,thisisnotthewayoftheShastonians Theirlandshavesandbutnotwater,andthesunissohotitcanburnskin withinmomentsofexposure.ThepeopleofShastonwearlongdressesortunics,covertheirfeetinlayersofprotectionalong withthicksoles,inadditiontospecialgarmentstoprotecttheirheadsfromthesun’srays.Thenightsincontrastaresocold, it’sbeensaidthathandswouldsticktoironifoneisn’tcareful.
“Welltimeisgettingaheadofus,Imustbereturning.Iamsuremyguardisworriedsickandwillcomefindmeshortly.”I lightlytouchhisbicepasIsteppasthim “Ihopetoseeyousoon” “Oh,youwill.Yourfatherinvitedmetodinnertonight.”
Hiswordssendashiveroffeardownmyspine Wearebetrothedsure,butthetimePrinceEreonhasspentherehasnotbeen centeredaroundmeandheisstillverymuchastranger.DinnerisoneofthefewmomentsIhavewithmyfatherandIcherish ourtimetogether.Ereonattendingamealwithjustthetwoofusfeelsasthoughheisintrudingontheprecious,littletimeIhave left,andIdon'tlikeit.
“Howwonderful.Ilookforwardtoseeingyouthisevening,”Ireply,pullingmyselffrommythoughts.SiphonieandIcurtsy andquicklymakeourexit,she'sbarelyholdinginagiggleasweleavehissight
“I'malmostjealousofyou,Naxa!Ifitwasn'tforhishomeland,hewouldbeperfect.”Shestartsjumpingassheskipsahead ofme, turningto lookbackatme “Idon'tknow whyyouaren'tmore excited aboutEreon Honestly, he is young, sexy, and probablyamazinginbed.HehasseenbattleandhisbodyisjustsomethingIcouldlickfordays.Whatistherenottolike?” Irollmyeyes.“Oh,manythings.ThefactthatIhavetoleaveyou,leaveAntalisjusttonameafew.Plus,Rhenorhasseen battle”
“AndIlovethescarsonhisbodyfromit,makesmefeelprotected.Youknow,youcanrequestwhoyouwanttocomewith you Request me, I would love to go someplace new I’ve lived here my entire life Maybe we could travel to Cortave Wouldn'tthatbefun?”
“AndwhatofRhenor,Siph?”
“Hewouldn'tcareifIwent,hewouldprobablycomealongtoo.He'sbeentoShastonafewtimes.Eitherway,let'sgetyou readyfortonightsinceyou'llgettoseetwogood-lookingmenatyourdinnertable,it'sgoingtobeaformalevent,I'msure...” Siphoniegrabsmyhandaswewalkthroughthecastledoors
“Donotstartabout…”IbarelyfinishmysentencebeforeIrunintoagoldenbreastplateandlookup.
Thylas,mybodyguardandCaptainofthe Ke Neye,staresdownatmewithhisemeraldgreeneyes,nothappythatIslipped outduringhiswatchthismorning.Hismidnighthair,sodarkthatitturnsblueattheedges,istiedupinabunatthetopofhis head HiseyesflamewithangerbecauseIhavelefthimonceagainasIscrambledoutwithSiphoniethismorning
“Wherethe kosæ haveyoutwobeen?”heseethes,eyeingusboth.
Siphonie onlylaughs and walks around him. “Doingthe same thingyoudo inthe taverns duringyour offtime.” She turns aroundtofacehimandwinks
HerollshiseyesandInoticetheveinalonghisneckpopsout,atelltalesignhe'sirritated.
“Iwasn'tconcernedaboutyouSiph,I'mnotyourguard Youareyourhusband'sproblem,notmine”Hestaresather,butshe justsmiles.
“Oh,goshuckashell!”Shethrowsupher handsathimasifsheisindeedshuckingashell beforeshowcasingher middle fingerinacrudegestureandwalkingpasthim.
Ignoringher,Thylasstepsinfrontofmenotlettingmepass.“Wherewere you?”heasks asheplaceshis handaroundmy
bicep.Siphonieleansagainstthewall,waitingonmeasadevioussmilepassesherlips. Ilookupathimas he towers over me.His strongjaw,coveredinscruff,andhis poutylips are the reasonhe has women fallingathisfeet Ijerkmyarmoutofhisgrasp “Shetoldyouwherewewere NowI'llbeinmychambersgettingreadyfor dinner.”
Idon'tmissthefuryinhiseyesatwhatI'vesuggestedIwasdoing HeknowsaswellasIheshouldn'tcare,butIalsoknowI shouldn'tirritatehim.It'shardformenottotoywithhim,heusedtobeoneofmybestfriendsafterall.
Two CARNAXA
Thetableissetwithroastedfish,cookedseaweed,bread,andotherdelicaciesfromourlands.Thekitchenmustbeshowing offsinceEreoniseatingwithus,wantingtoputtheirbestculinaryfootforward WhichIcan’thelpbutthinkishumorous consideringhe'sbeeneatingfromthekitchenssincehearrived,justnotatourtable.Iwasraisedtoalwaysrespectthecommon folkandcastleworkersasmuchasIwouldrespectanyroyalbecausewedonotsurvivewithouttheother Wedon'thavethe fishweeatwithoutthehardworkofthosewhodothefishingandwedon'thavethemealsbeforeus,withoutthosewhoserve inthe kitchen Mymother always wanted to show thata title does notdefine your worthand instead, one should lookatthe heartofthe individual. So withthatinmind, we normallydon'thave this muchprepared for dinner. This is all the kitchen’s doing,notourrequest.
“Thylas said youonce againwentto the markets withoutanescort, Carnaxa,” myfather groans fromthe head ofthe large table.Myfather,KingClennom,withhisstarkwhitehairandclearlyirritatedexpression,meetsmyeyeswithhissterngaze. Thylasstandsonmyleftside,whichismyfather'sright Myguardhasanexpressionthatneverchanges Hekeepshiseyes distantandunmoving,butIknow heiswatching.He'sprobablysmilinginternally.Helovesgettingmeintrouble,eversince wewerelittlekids
“Thylas,shouldeitherlearntodoabetterjobofwatchingmeorabetterjobofkeepinghismouthshut.”Itossagrapeinmy mouthandwashitdownwitha sipofwater.Thylas' feetshuffle the slightestbitbehindme andIhear a sighcome fromhis lips Ereonishereandit'smakingeverythingthatmuchmoreuncomfortable Dinnersareusuallyjustmyfatherandme,atime ofconnectionaftermymother'sdeath.NowIhaveEreonacrossfrommeandThylasatmyback.Myfathercouldhaveatleast invitedSiphonieandRhenortobreakthetension
"Daughter,wehavediscussedthis.Youcannotbemovingaroundthecitylikethiswhentherearesomanynewfacesinthe kingdomnow,includingpeoplefromall over Ashonerafor thefishingseason.Idon’tfeel safewithyouleavingthegrounds unguarded KeepThylaswithyou”HiseyesflicktowardEreon It'shismenwhoroamthestreetsmyFatherisworriedabout Hismencomefromakingdomthatviewswomenasproperty.
Ereonhasn'tsaidawordsincedinnerbegan,afterhisinitialgreeting,hiseyesbouncebackandforthbetweenmyfatherand me.“YourGrace,”hebeginswipingthecornerofhismouthwithalinennapkin.“MaybePrincessCarnaxahasapoint.Maybe weshouldpunishtheguardfornotdoinghisjob Howhardcouldshebetowatch?Mymenwouldhavenoproblemwatching her.Wouldyoulikeustoreplacethisone?”EreonmotionswithabobofhisheadtoThylas.
Ichokeonmydrink,thiswasnotwhatIwanted.HowcouldIhavebeensostupidastospeakmymindinfrontofEreon?Of course,hewouldwanttopunishThylas Fatherisusedtoourlittledisagreementsbutknowsthatattheendoftheday,Thylasis aloyalmemberoftheAntalianShayi,myfatheralsounderstandsmyfreespirit.Heblamesmymotherforthat.
Ismile atthe Prince “Prince Ereon,thankyousomuchfor your offer,butIpromise you,Thylas is a dutiful guard We've knowneachothersincewewerechildren,Iknowmysafetyisoftheutmostimportancetohim.”
“AsmuchasthatpleasesmetohearPrincessCarnaxa,yoursafetyisworthmorethanachildhoodfriendship Ifwewerein mykingdom,hewouldbefloggedorpotentiallyfaceaworsepunishmentfornotwatchingoveryou.”
ThylasstandstallbutIcanseehisfingerstenseatthesoundofbeingflogged.Heknowstoowellthesharppainofawhip, eventhoughitwaslongago Theairintheroombecomestightwithtensionandevenmyfatherseemstodarthiseyestoward Thylastogaugehisexpression.Thedayofthefloggingisforeveringrainedinallourmemories.
Myfathertosseshislinenclothbesidehisplateandcrosseshislegs “Thatwon'tbenecessary,Ereon Thylasisoneofour mosttrusted inside the Antalian Shayi and Iknow he has mydaughter's bestinterestinmind. Carnaxa should be the one to blameassheknowsit'snotsafetobewanderingduringthistime.”HeeyesmeandIknownottoargueatthismoment.Shaston isawholedifferentworld.“WomenofAntalisaresimplymoreindependentthantheyareinthenorth.Ourwomenareknown for their tempers and will to fight, as well as their utter disregard for their own safety while in search of satisfying their curiosities”
“ThenperhapsitisPrincessCarnaxawhoshouldbearthebruntofthepunishment.WomenaretaughttheirplaceinShaston, regardlessoftheirstation Whensheistobemyqueenshewilldowelltorememberthis” Igrindmyteethathisstatement.Queensarenotmeanttobesimpleaccessoriestotheir king.Thethoughtofbeingnothing morethanasilentpartnergoesagainsteverythingwearetaughtinAntalisandagainsteverythingmymotherstoodfor.Ipopthe knuckleofmyringfingertokeepfromspeakingout,how darehehavetheaudacitytorecommendIbepunishedforasimple walkaroundmykingdom.Ishouldspeakup,Ishouldsaysomethingmorebutmyfatherlooksatme,asubtleshakeofhishead. Areminderthatthisisnottheplace
IsenseThylasstepjustahalfstepclosertome,hisfingersitchingtowardhissword.Wedon'ttalkaboutit,butIknow he doesnotliketheideaofmebecomingEreon'swife Maybeit'shislong-agofeelingshehadforme,ormaybeit'sjustloyaltyto Antalisandmyfather.Atonepointinourfriendshipwewouldhavealreadydiscussedthis,butthelastfewlunaryearswe've grownmore distantand Idon'tknow how Ifeel anymore. As he grew and aged, he gotmore handsome and also more cold toward me The dark times after my mother’s death were when my father's reign changed the course of our lives with the decisionshemadeandasaresult,Thylaspulledawayfromme.
Itwould be nice to have someone fromAntalis inShastonwithme, butThylas is a wild card He's loyal to myfather, to Antalis.ButifhelefttogotoShastonitwouldbeaneasierlifetopledgehisloyaltytotheShastonKinginsteadoflivingasan Antalianontheirsands Thylas'faultishisloyalty,theunnecessarydesiretoshowmyfatherheisworthyofthehomeprovided to himall those lunar years ago. Thylas never talks about where he is from, I don’t know if he even remembers, but he's thankfulforhishomeinAntalisnonetheless.
“Youare correct, Prince Ereon Mydaughter should be punished butyouwould be wise to remember thatyouare inmy home and notShaston.As such, youwill keepthatinmindas she is mydaughter and notyetyour queen.” Myfather pushes backfromthe table andtosses his napkinontothe table as he ends the conversation,“Ithinkitis time todepart” He walks away, not givinganyone a chance to have anyother words. He glances at me over his shoulder. “Come daughter, for your punishment,”hestates,ashemakeshiswaythroughthedoorway,notsparinganotherglanceback
Sweatthickens across mybrow and myhands become clammy. I've seenfather's punishments buthave never beenonthe receivingendofthem–evenwhenitwasdeserved.He'snotdealtouttheroughestofpunishmentsinmanymoons.Thetimes aftermymother'sdeathwereroughandIoftenwonderedifwewouldenduplikeShaston,butmyfatherwasabletoreignin hisangerandkeepAntalisapeacefulnation,aswe'vealwaysbeen.However,hewillstillsentencepunishmentsiftheoffense issignificant Thosewhorapeorkill,thosewhodeservepunishment AsIstandup,mypurplegownslightlytouchingthefloor asIdo;Ereonstands,andbowsatthewaist,aslightgrinonhis facebeforehegetsinthelastword,“YourHighness.”
“Youhavetowatchyourmouthandyourattitude,Carnaxa!”myfatheryells,asheslamsthedoorshutbehindhim.
Afterleavingthetablewewalkdownthelongcorridortohispersonalchambersincompletesilence Thylasisbehindme, hisheavybootsthumpingagainstthecastle'smarbledfloor.ThecastleisoneofAntalis'greatesttreasures.Itisnotmadeofthe grey,dullstoneofthepeoples’homes,butofwhitemarblewithgoldandblueveiningthroughout.Theornate,floor-to-ceiling windowsletthenaturalseaairandlightin.Themoonshinesdownonusaswewalk,reflectingoffthepolishedfloors.Even so, this walkfeels heavywithstrongwords thatcannotbe said because ofthe ears thatmighthear. Strands ofceruleanhair ticklemypaleoliveskinastheocean’sbreezewhipsthroughthecorridor Myfatherisnotpleasedbywhattranspiredinthe feastinghall,andIworryaboutwhathewillsayaswestopinfrontofhisdoor.
“Thylas,youaredismissedforthenight Iwillhavesomeoneelsewatchher Shewillbereadytoseeyouinthemorning,as she will be there waitingfor anescortbefore she leaves her chambers.” Myfather turns to his personal guard and politely requests,“Eldoris,pleasestandoutside.I'dlikeawordwithmydaughterbeforeyoutakeherbacktoherrooms.”
Eldoris,wearinghisowngoldenarmor,standstallandnodsquietlytomyfather Hehasbeenmyfather'spersonalguardfor manylunaryears,sincehewasayoungmanhimself.Hisfatherwastheguardformygrandfatheraswellashisparamore,and whenmygrandfathersteppeddownfromthethroneandwalkedintothesea'sembrace,hisguardwentwithhim
Thylasbowsslightly.“Goodevening,myking”–andthenheturnstomewithawearysmileonhisface–“Goodevening, Princess”Heturnsandwalksdownthehall Thylasisoneofthetallestinthe Ke Neye Hisshouldersarestrongandbroad, butIknowthedarksecretsheldinthescarsacrosshisback.Hisarmsbearthemarkingsofwhatittakestobecomeasoldierof the Ke Neye.Thetattoosarefromtherankingshehasgainedinthe Shayi alongwithhispersonalstory.Theyswirlindarkink aroundhisarm,inalanguagelosttomost ThetattoosdetailthesacredoathonemustsaywhenjoiningtheAntalianShayi The soldiersaretheonlyonesinour kingdomtowear thosespecifictattoos,somehavemorethanothers.Oathsofmarriageand wordsofhonor arealsoseenmarkedontheir skin Thylasisstill young,butIhavenodoubthewill havemoremarkingsas timegoeson.
Father slowlyopens his door and beckons me inside His mainroomis dimlylit withonlyone burningcandle near his bedside. Iwalktoward his window and peer out, watchingas the waves come inand out. Itake a deep breathand exhale slowlyasthewavesappeartodothesame.Themoon,highinthesky,hasasmallcloudinfrontofit,andIwatchasitdrifts acrossitsface
Fatherwalkstowardhistableandgrabsaglassandthedarkliquornexttoit.Pouringhimselfafingerandslowlybringsitto hisbeard-coveredmouth He'sagingandthestressofthefuturedoesn'thelp Mymotherandhetriedtohaveanotherchild,soI wouldn'tbeleftaloneintheworld.Instead,theyhadme,andmymotherwastakenbythedeluc.
“I'msorry,Father,” Isayas myfingers begintotremble as Iremember how the loss ofher affectedhim,how her passing impactedthekingdom.
Helookstowardmeandhiseyessoften.“Don'tdothat.Don'tactasifyou'rescaredofme–Ihavenotpermittedfloggingsin severallunaryears I'mnotgoingtoharmyou,Ijustwanttoremindyouthatyouarenotalwaysinaplacetobesharingyour thoughts.”
Fatherpourshimselfanotherfingerofliquor,andthetensionbetweenhiseyebrowsrelaxesjustforamomentbeforeheturns backtome.
“YouknowIdon'twanttodothis,Naxa.Ijustdon'tknowwhatelsetodo.Iviloanwouldhave…shealwaysknewwhatto do.Ineverwantedthis.YouwillbethesolerulerofAntalisandyouhavetohaveapowerfulhusbandtodefenditwithyou. We are in a time of peace right now, but the Southern Continent could decide at any time to challenge us. If I broke the agreementofyour betrothal, Shastoncould, withintheir contractual rights, declare war onus Imade a rashdecision, one I muststandbynow.Manyofouryoungpeoplehavenotseenbattle,andtheonesthathavearetoooldtocarrytheburdenalone. Our Shayi Yengo soldiers are strongfor war at sea and our Shayi Maka soldiers are prepared for battles onland, but the KingdomofShastonlivesinthebloodofbattles.”
Iwalktowardmyfatherandputmyhandonhissqueezingtightly.“Iknow,Father.” We'vebeenthroughthissameconversationmanytimesover Heislost,hasbeenlost,withoutmymother Shewashistwin drop.Shewaseverythingtohim.
Theyearsafterherdeathweredark Hesworetherainbowsurroundingthesunnolongerhadcolorbecauseshetookitall withherto Mohasha,ourhomeafterdeath.Iremembertheringaroundthesun,illuminatedbyamultitudeofcolors,nowitisa simple, bright-white ring The color went out the day my mother died That was the first sign something was wrong with Ashonera.
ThemythshavelongtoldAntalisisspecial,blessedbytheGoddess.ShecreatedAntalis,consistingofislandsmadeupof concentriccircles,twoofwater,andtwooflandwithourcastleinthemiddleonanislandallitsown Thecanalsopentothe
seasouthofus,givingour shipsaccesstotheGreatSeafor tradeandalsotoletthewater flow fromtheseaintoour inlets. Before the end of magic, powerful creatures lurked beneath and were often there to help protect us. The Goddess created AntalisfirstbeforeShecreatedtherestoftheworld TheGoddesswantedcompanionship,peoplewhowouldcelebrateand loveher,becauseshewalkedamongthem.Shehadbeenlonelyforsolonginthecosmos.SheblessedthefirstAntalianswith magicandlife Alifefreefromailments,andwhenthetimeofdeathisuponus,shegivesusthegiftofbeingcalledhome,a senseofpeace,ofpurposefulfilled.Wehaveneverfearedsicknessofthebodylikethosewholiveinotherkingdoms.
Ifthe stories are accurate, the ancientAntalians had power over water Theycould create isolated rainstorms, and some people could speak to the sea creatures of the Great Mother's oceans. Whispers of rare powers that could harness and manipulateiceortamethewavesoftheseaarealsowrittenwithinlegendsofold.
Mymother was thefirstAntaliantodiefromillness Accordingtotheelders,whenAntalians arecalledhome,asenseof peace, and the Mother's voice whisperinginyour ear to ‘come home’is whatwe have to lookforward to. Those chosento leavethisrealmsimplywalktowardtheocean'swaveswithasmileontheirface Thedeluciswhatweareallafraidofnow Aftermymother'sdeath,eachmoon,manyothershavecomedownwithitaswell.
Theotherkingdoms,onbothcontinents,havetheirownmyths;IneverpaidattentiontothestoriessinceIbelievedmylife wouldforeverbeinAntalis.Obviously,Ishouldhavelistenedmoretomytutor.TheonethingIremember,however,isthatthe Goddesshasalwaysfavoredus.
I'veaskedmyfather multipletimes whyIcouldn'trulealoneandtheanswer is simple–becausesomeoneelsewill tryto overthrow me. He's scared – all Antalians are – this is a time ofthe unknown. Atime ofchange. We thoughtthe deluc just affectedmymother,untiltheoldestmemberofourkingdombecamesickthenextseason Thedelucisgainingmomentumand seemstobetakingeventhechildren.Father doesn'twantmetobealone,hedoesn'twantthedeluctotakemeeither andthe Antalianstobeleftwithoutaroyalleader.Ifourroyallineends,ourpeoplewouldbelefttothemercyoftheShastonianswho wouldsurelyassumethethrone.Thisisoursafestoptiontotrytokeepsomesayinourkingdom.
“WillhepunishThylas?”Imumble,fidgetingmyhandsinthefoldsofmygauzygown.
“No He's inmykingdomandwill obeymyrules However,whatever theproblemis betweenyouandThylas,itneeds to stopnow.DidyouthinkIdidn'tnoticehowcloseyouoncewereandnowyouseemtobenothingbutahindrancetoeachother? Iftimesweredifferent,Iwouldhaveconsideredabetrothal betweenthetwoofyouforsurelyhewouldhaveaskedbynow Sincethatisnotthecase,IneedhimtotraveltoShastonwithyou.Ineedtoknowyouwillbesafe.Shaston’slawsandculture arenotlikeours,Daughter,andyouneedtogetreadyforwhatwillbeexpectedofyou.Yourmotherwouldhavedonebetterat preparingyou.”
“Mymother wouldhavetaughtmetobeexactlywhatshewas: strongandauthoritative.Mother wouldhavewantedmeto findmytwindrop,notjustagreetoamarriagebecauseofyourpolitics Motherwouldhaveneverforcedmetomarry ” He cuts me off sharply, “Your mother would have also taught youto be smart and to do what needs to be done for your kingdomand your livelihood She would have encouraged youtomarryfor my politics, because ifyoudon't, the restofour peoplecouldsuffer.AtwindropisnotaguaranteeanymoreCarnaxa,youknowthat.Wehavetodowhatwemusttosurvive.”
Itrytotakeadeepbreathbutmymouthisdryandmytonguefeelsheavy.Idon'twanttofighthim,soIrelent,“Yes,Father.” Mymotherdidherbesttoraisemetohaveamindofmyown,butthroughtheyearsI’velearnedit’seasiesttoagreeandgoon Perhapsitwasthelossofmymother,perhapsitwaswitnessingthecruel punishmentThylasreceived,or maybeit’sjustthe ideathatevenifIwanttochangethingsIcan’t IwishIhadSiphonie’sresolve,shehasmymother’smindset She’sstrongand hasnoproblemarguingforherbeliefs,yetIwillalwaysbetheonewhostrivestoattaineveryoneelse’sapproval.Tokeepthe peace
“Carryontoyourroomsforthenight,andtrynottogiveEreonareasontohaveaproblemwithThylasoryou,again.You know what happens to the womenofShastoniftheydon't behave. Idon't want that to happento youwhenyouleave here. Please,Carnaxa”Hiseyeslookolderthantheyusedto Thewrinklesaroundhisfaceandtheworrylinessurroundinghiseyes arelikeastabtothegutashekissesmycheek.
AlayerofsweatslicksmyskinasIwake,confusedandblinking,Itrytofindmybearings I'mnotonetousuallydream,but whenIdoit'salwaysnightmares.Sometimestheymakesense,mymother'sdeathandThylas'whipping.Thelooksintheireyes hauntsme Thelookonhisfaceashetookthepain,hereyesglossingoverasdeathtookher OthertimesIdreamofwaterand drowningorbloodandwar.WarsI'veneverseen,yettheytormentme.BloodcoversmyhandsintheseterribledreamsandI scream,unabletoescapethem
IslipmyfeetfrombeneaththecoversasIrunmyhandsthroughmymatted,sleep-riddenhair.Thecandlehasburntoutbut thereisstillasliverofmoonlightfilteringthroughthecurtains,fightingwiththerisingsun.Thesteadywindmovesthelacey curtainsthatseparatemefrommybalcony Iyawnandrunmyhandsacrossmyface;it'smuchtooearlytobewakingup
Ithrowonmygreensilkrobethathitsmeatthemiddleofmythighsandwalktowardmybookcase.Shadowsdancefromthe slitunderthedoorcatchingmyattentionandIstopmoving.ItiptoetowardthedoorsothatIcanhopefullyheartheramblings ofthe guards or servants upatthis hour Guards andservants are always the bestgossips Salacious rumors surroundingthe castleandthecity,thecomingsandgoingsofpeopleofnote,andifyoulistencloselyenough youcanlearnabouteverything havingtodowithAntalis Theguardsorthosewhoserveinthecastleoftenblendintothebackgroundwellenoughthatmany talkfreelyinfrontofthem.Theguardmyfatherhadpositionedoutsidemydoorisnew andyoungandIdon'tknow hisname butmaybehehasinterestingwhisperstotellinthedarktowhomeverelsemaybeoutthere Iletmyear touchthecolddoor madefromdriftwoodthat’sfoundontheshoreandsoftenmybreathstobetter hear.Boots softlyclackagainstthemarbledfloorsapproachingmydoor.
“I'lltakeitfromhere,”Thylassaysaptly MythroatsuddenlygoesdryatthesoundofhisdeepvoiceandIleanfurtherinto thedoor.Hewasdismissedbymyfather,notexpectedtobeseenuntil morning,anew guardsentashisreplacementfor the night Whyisheherenow,andatthishour?
“KingClennomtold me to guard Princess Carnaxa until the morning. I’ll finishmyshiftas instructed,” the guard answers apathetically “Goenjoythetaverns,takeabreakwithoneofthe mæna ”Theguardchucklesunderhisbreathwhileheshuffles inhisarmor.
Thylas’voice takes on a more serious tone, “First, I amyour superior and you will address me as such. Second, King Clennomhashadmestationedasherguardformanyyears,hewon’tmindifItellyoutogo Infact,hemightpreferit Nowas Istated,I’lltakeitfromhere.”
Ihear aquickmumbleof,“Yes,Captain,”astheyoungguardretreats Asteadyshadow underneathmydoor letsmeknow Thylasisinplaceandwon’tbeleaving.ThylasistheCaptainofthe Ke Neye, thesoldiersresponsibleforguardingtheroyals ofAntalis,Thylasismypersonalguard.Ibreatheasigh,Ialwaysfeelsafewhenhe'satmyback,orinthiscase,atmydoor.I knowhe'llprotectme,regardlessofthecoldnessbetweenus.
I step awayfromthe door and light a small candle that sits onthe edge of the desknear the door. The waxhas already drippeddownitsholderandImakeamentalnotetoreplacethecandlesoon Iagainwalktowardthesmallbookcaseonthe oppositewall,decidingtoreadbeforeattemptingtosleepagain.Irunmyfingersalongthespinesoftheleatherboundbooks. Volumes filledwithmyths,legends andhistoryline the bookcase andIwouldlove nothingmore thantogetlostina book I breatheoutdeeplyknowingreadingwoulddonothingmorethankeepmeawake.Ipassover myfavoritestoriesandinstead pickupmymostboringtome, The History of the Shaston Kingdom This bookwas giventomebyatutor soIcould,atthe veryleast,learnaboutthehistoryofthekingdomI’llberesidinginsoon.Isettleinanoversized,satinloungechairandstretch outmylegs,drapingablanketacrossme.Iopenthebookandstartonthefirstpage.
“The Goddess didn't bless those of the Shaston Kingdom as she did those in the Kingdom of Antalis The people of Shaston are cruel, warriors fashioned by blood and … ” isallIamabletoreadbeforeIfindsleeponceagain.
