PROLOGUE
FiredancesaroundmeastheonesIlovehaveturnedoneachotherwithhatefuelingtheirhearts Iholdmyhandsout,fighting backtheflameswiththewaterwithinme,themagicpulsingthroughmyveins. Hedidthis,becauseofhisjealousy.Hemadethedeal thatsealedourfates–afateIneverwantedforanyofthem.Death wasadreamthatIneverhad,andyetitwillforeverbethenightmaretheycan’tescape FlameslicktowardmyfeetandImoveagain,castingthemawaywithaflickofmywrist.EveniftheytouchmeIwon'tburn. Hestandstheresneeringbeforeshoutinganordertohismen Hiscreaturesofdarknessslinkbetweentheshadowsandflames astheybringsomethingout.Ican'ttellwhatitisthroughthemaddeningchaos.
Menandwomenstandbehindmeaswefightforeverythingwebelievein,afightwehaveneverpreparedfor.Theirpowers weren'tmeantforwarbutasgifts,andyet,theyfightbesidemeanyway.Thestenchofsmoke,rot,anddeathlingersintheair. Shieldingmyeyes fromtheheatoftheflames withmyhands,Ilookup,noticingwhatthecreatures broughtout.Myknees crumble andthe rocks beneathdigintomyskinas Isee mybelovedtiedtoa pole inthe middle ofa platform It's for himI fight,forhimIdestroythosethatIlove.Forhim,Iwilldoanything.Theflamesinchtowardhim,inchinginsteadofswarming becausethebetrayerwantsmetosuffer,towatchasmyloverdies
Reachingmyarmoutandknowingit'sworthlessbecausemypowerscan'treachthatfar,butIhavetotryanyway.Theflames wraparoundhimandhescreams,thesoundechoesallaroundme.It'sallIcanhear,butIcan'tlookawayandIscreamtoo. Icesproutsfrommypainenvelopingme,creatingacoolnessamidsttheheat.
“A læ t neni pe , o a læ pengæ pe wæ lomo popo ra læ,” Iscreaminto the wind, reachingfor the dagger atmyside. It's hopeless Ican'twinthis Notnow,nottoday ButIcangivethemonemoregift
HOne
CARNAXA
is ruddyfingers diginto her goldensun-kissed thighs as he thrustup into her, her skingrindingagainstthe stone behind them Hisoilyhairfallsontohisfaceasshemoansagainsthisneck Hishandscomeuptograbherwrists,takingthemand placingthemhighaboveherhead.Themusclesofhisbackbulgeanddipashecontinues,theirpacequickening.Herbangles clinktogetherwitheachthrust,thesamebanglesthatmatchmyown Differentshadesofsilverandgoldthataregiftsfromour motherswhoarenolongerwithus.
ThemanisofnorealstatusbutthisishowSiphoniewantsit Howshealwayswantsit Quickandtothepoint,notsavinga lotofroomfordiscussionorgettingtoknowoneanother.Thishasbeenherpreferenceforthepastcouplemonths,whileheis dockedinAntalis,before he sets sail across the seas again.She buys her pleasure here atthe docks because it’s convenient withnostringsattached Herpalepinkhaircascadesdownaroundherandfinally,shegripshisshouldersfindingherpleasure asthemanpantshisreleaseintoher.
Heslowlylowersherontothegroundandshestraightensherskirtbeforetossingafewcoinsattheman “Thanks!”shesays over her tawnyshoulder as the manbends downpullingup his trousers and grabbingthe coins that lie onthe edge of the woodendock
“Alwaysapleasure,Princess.”Hesmirks,runninghishandthroughhisgoldenlocks.
“I'mnotthePrincess”–shelookstowardmeandsmiles–“sheis.”Shetakesastepbackandhegrabsheronemoretime aroundthewaistpullingherdeepintohismuscledarms
“Youaremyprincess,atleastwhenIaminsideyou.”Hekisseshercheekagainbeforelettinghergoandheadsbacktoward hismen
“Are you ready, Naxa?” Siphonie asks me, trying to adjust her hair. Only those closest to me call me by my childhood nickname,mostcallmeCarnaxaAlthister,PrincessofAntalis.
“DoIalwayshavetocomewithyou?Imean,honestly,whatfunisthisforme?Watchingyouwithyourmanoftheseason” Shelaughs.“Well,mydearone,it'snotfunforyou.Youareheretowatchandmakesurenoneofthesementhinktheycanget awaywithanythingIdon'twishtohappen Idohavemylimits,youknow”
We walkacross the canal and backonto the mainstreets of Antalis. The oceanwaves crashagainst the bridge, shooting dropsofwaterontous AntalisisoneofthreekingdomsthatmakeuptheNorthernContinentofAshonera
The guards glance toward us and smile as we pass. Their golden armor glints in the afternoon sunlight, our kingdom’s symbol,thetridentetchedingoldacrosstheirbreastplate.Eventhoughweareamostlypeacefulkingdom,theguards’swords, andshieldsareattachedtotheirsides Thesoldiersaretrainedasifwarisonourdoorstep Ournavalfleet,the Shayi Maka, isoneofthebestfromwhatIhear.AndaccordingtoSiphonie,oursoldiers,bothmaleandfemale,aretrainedformanyother thingsaswell,theirpassioninthebedroomthemostwidelydiscussed
Theoceanglittersas pitongi birdsflyhighanddiplowtocatchfish,thesmellofitallsurroundingus.Thesmellofhome. “Do youhave limits? Because sneakingoffto find pleasure witha fishermaninstead ofyour husband doesn'tseemto be one.”
Shesighsandrollsherlighthazeleyes.“Ourmarriagewas,andstillis,apoliticalarrangementthatyourfatherputtogether. Rhenordoeswhathedoes,andIdothesame”
SiphonieandRhenorwerebetrothedwhenshewasbutthirteen.SheandRhenormarriedtwolunaryearsagowhenshewas eighteen,andhehasbeenkindtohereversince “Rhenor is aconsiderateman.”Shehooks her armwithmineas wecontinuetowalkdownthecobblestonestreets.“Your fathermadesureofthat.Rhenorissixteenyearsmyseniorandhetoldmethathewouldneverforcehimselfonme,nordoeshe expectmetolovehim.It'swhyhissisterraisedmewhenIcameintotheirhousehold,hethoughtitstrangetoraisehisfuture wife.Soinsteadofanormalweddingnight,hemademethatoathandit'sonehe'slivedby.Heisn'tbadtolookateithernora badlover” She raises her handtocover her eyes fromthe glaringsun “He still misses her youknow,his firstwife Ithink that'swhyheneverexpectsmetolovehim.Idon’tthinkhecouldeverlovemelikehedidher.Maybeoneday,butthatdayis nottoday”Herhandtightensaroundmyarmandsheglaresupahead “Getready”
Isquint,lookingtowardwheresheglances,andseeEreonashewalkstowardus,hischestnutbrown,curledhairbouncing ashewalks.Hisstunningwhiteteethshowashegrinsfrombetweenfulllips.Hiswarm,ivoryskinglistensbeneaththesun’s glare.His guards standjustthree steps behind him, a customfromhis home, the KingdomofShaston, where his father King Atlasrules.TheShastonians haveaharder lifethanthoseofAntalis accordingtorumors.Theyareknownfor their prowess bothonandoffthebattlefieldandtheypridethemselvesonit Theyhavealifewithoutthepeaceoftheocean'swater,livingin the northeastofour continent,a place rumoredtobe cursedbythe Goddess.The CartilenMountains separate themfromthe other kingdoms, and there is only one path that leads through those mountains, only traveled when necessary due to the creatureslurkingthere.
“Good afternoon, Princess Carnaxa,” he greets me as he bows atthe hips, “Bêlit Siphonie.” His off-white tunic is a stark contrasttothedarknessofhiseyesandhair Hiseyesaresuchadeepbrown,onemightlosethemselvesinhisgaze,ignoring anydangersthatmaybelurkingwithin.
Icurtsy “Goodafternoon,PrinceEreon It'salovelydayforawalk” His intense eyes lookbacktoward Siphonie, slightlysmilingas he takes inher disheveled hair and sweatstill glistening againsther flushedskin Shereadjuststhedeep-vofher neckline “I'msurethat'swhatyouwerebothalsodoing,enjoyinga walk.”HewinksatSiphonie,andtohercreditshedoesn'tfalter.Siphonie’sreputationhasapparentlyreachedhisears.When Prince Ereon’s soldiers first arrived, she found her way into several of their beds. Despite my constant worry over the rumored,ruthlesssoldiers,shefoundtheircompanythrilling
Siphonie,mycousin,has beenraisedinAntalis.Sheworries notabouttheopinions ofothers andembraces our cultureof free sexuality, whichwe have found some foreigners who travel to our kingdomdo notunderstand She smiles rightbackat him,“Youwouldn'tbeonthesametypeofwalk,wouldyou?YouarebetrothedtoourlovelyCarnaxaafterall.” He smirks and crosses his arms infront of him “I amgoingto visit the fishingmarkets to see about gaininga few new memberstomyguard.WhenPrincessCarnaxareturnstoShastonwithme,Iwantasmuchprotectionaspossibleforher.The wayhomecanbetreacherousattimes.”Myskinflushesbeneathhisgazeashereachesoutandtucksapieceofmycerulean wavyhairbehindmyear,“Hersafetyandhappinesswillbemyresponsibilityafterall,nottoomanymoonsfromnow”
Myfather,theKingofAntalis,madethismatch.KingAtlasofShastonandmyfatherhaveneverbeenabletoseeeyetoeye. TheGreatWarwasthebiggestbattlebetweenthekingdomsandwe’vestillhadourskirmishesthroughtheyears However,no matterhowhardweworktokeepthepeacethetensionisalwaysnear,theKingofShaston,constantlyinavolatilestate.The kingdombetweenus, Midaeliea,tries tokeep the peace amongour three kingdoms ofAshonera. The KingdomofMidaeliea takesuponitselftheroletocallasummitofourthreekingdomseverythreelunaryears.
Antalis is not the largest kingdom on our continent, but we have the sea. We have our ancestors, we have protection
surroundingusandwehavetheblessingsoftheGoddess.LeavingmyhometotraveltoShastonisnotsomethingIwant.Idon’t wanttoleaveAntalis withthepossibilityofour magicawakening.Myfather swears themagicofour landis longgone,but we've all heard the rumors and prophecies brought from the Southern Continent People there talk of another war that approaches,onethatwillchangetheworld.Heremembersthestorieshisgreat-grandfathertoldhimofmagicalcreaturesthat lingered inthis world and protected it, the wəngesk thatcame to the call ofthe Goddess duringthe GreatWar None ofthe magichasbeenseensincetheendofthatwar,butwecontinuetopraytoHer,forHerprotection,andhopethatShewillbring themagicandHerblessingback
“Naxa,I'msure,isexcitedtoseethebeautiful KingdomofShaston,PrinceEreon.”Siphoniedigsherfingersintomyside, pulling me back from my scattered thoughts, and I quickly smile and nod in agreement. My tutors used to have the same problemwithme,Iwasalwaysonetogetdistractedandlostinmythoughts,mydreams,andmyworries
“Yes, absolutely.” Iglance atthe Prince, the muscles inhis neckare slicked withsweatfromthe summer heat. “Are you beginningtoenjoyourclimatehere?”
Hewipesatthesweatcollectingalonghisstrongbrowandsighs,“No,IthinkIpreferoursathome.It'shotandcoldtobe sure,butwhatevermakestheairsothickhere,makingithardertobreathe,canstayinAntalis However”–heleansinclose enoughIcanfeel his breathonmyear –“Iwill miss these gorgeous dresses thatyour kingdomis accustomedto.” He leans backandstepstothesidetoadmireme;mycheeksheat.
Asapeople,wedon'tfeeltheneedtocoverupone'sbody Ourtunicsanddressesaresimplegarments Womenareusually seenwearingtwo-piecedresses,ourmid-driftsondisplay,andmostofouritemsaremadeofgauze-likefabric.FromwhatI havelearned,thisisnotthewayoftheShastonians Theirlandshavesandbutnotwater,andthesunissohotitcanburnskin withinmomentsofexposure.ThepeopleofShastonwearlongdressesortunics,covertheirfeetinlayersofprotectionalong withthicksoles,inadditiontospecialgarmentstoprotecttheirheadsfromthesun’srays.Thenightsincontrastaresocold, it’sbeensaidthathandswouldsticktoironifoneisn’tcareful.
“Welltimeisgettingaheadofus,Imustbereturning.Iamsuremyguardisworriedsickandwillcomefindmeshortly.”I lightlytouchhisbicepasIsteppasthim “Ihopetoseeyousoon” “Oh,youwill.Yourfatherinvitedmetodinnertonight.”
Hiswordssendashiveroffeardownmyspine Wearebetrothedsure,butthetimePrinceEreonhasspentherehasnotbeen centeredaroundmeandheisstillverymuchastranger.DinnerisoneofthefewmomentsIhavewithmyfatherandIcherish ourtimetogether.Ereonattendingamealwithjustthetwoofusfeelsasthoughheisintrudingontheprecious,littletimeIhave left,andIdon'tlikeit.
“Howwonderful.Ilookforwardtoseeingyouthisevening,”Ireply,pullingmyselffrommythoughts.SiphonieandIcurtsy andquicklymakeourexit,she'sbarelyholdinginagiggleasweleavehissight
“I'malmostjealousofyou,Naxa!Ifitwasn'tforhishomeland,hewouldbeperfect.”Shestartsjumpingassheskipsahead ofme, turningto lookbackatme “Idon'tknow whyyouaren'tmore excited aboutEreon Honestly, he is young, sexy, and probablyamazinginbed.HehasseenbattleandhisbodyisjustsomethingIcouldlickfordays.Whatistherenottolike?” Irollmyeyes.“Oh,manythings.ThefactthatIhavetoleaveyou,leaveAntalisjusttonameafew.Plus,Rhenorhasseen battle”
“AndIlovethescarsonhisbodyfromit,makesmefeelprotected.Youknow,youcanrequestwhoyouwanttocomewith you Request me, I would love to go someplace new I’ve lived here my entire life Maybe we could travel to Cortave Wouldn'tthatbefun?”
“AndwhatofRhenor,Siph?”
“Hewouldn'tcareifIwent,hewouldprobablycomealongtoo.He'sbeentoShastonafewtimes.Eitherway,let'sgetyou readyfortonightsinceyou'llgettoseetwogood-lookingmenatyourdinnertable,it'sgoingtobeaformalevent,I'msure...” Siphoniegrabsmyhandaswewalkthroughthecastledoors
“Donotstartabout…”IbarelyfinishmysentencebeforeIrunintoagoldenbreastplateandlookup.
Thylas,mybodyguardandCaptainofthe Ke Neye,staresdownatmewithhisemeraldgreeneyes,nothappythatIslipped outduringhiswatchthismorning.Hismidnighthair,sodarkthatitturnsblueattheedges,istiedupinabunatthetopofhis head HiseyesflamewithangerbecauseIhavelefthimonceagainasIscrambledoutwithSiphoniethismorning
“Wherethe kosæ haveyoutwobeen?”heseethes,eyeingusboth.
Siphonie onlylaughs and walks around him. “Doingthe same thingyoudo inthe taverns duringyour offtime.” She turns aroundtofacehimandwinks
HerollshiseyesandInoticetheveinalonghisneckpopsout,atelltalesignhe'sirritated.
“Iwasn'tconcernedaboutyouSiph,I'mnotyourguard Youareyourhusband'sproblem,notmine”Hestaresather,butshe justsmiles.
“Oh,goshuckashell!”Shethrowsupher handsathimasifsheisindeedshuckingashell beforeshowcasingher middle fingerinacrudegestureandwalkingpasthim.
Ignoringher,Thylasstepsinfrontofmenotlettingmepass.“Wherewere you?”heasks asheplaceshis handaroundmy
bicep.Siphonieleansagainstthewall,waitingonmeasadevioussmilepassesherlips. Ilookupathimas he towers over me.His strongjaw,coveredinscruff,andhis poutylips are the reasonhe has women fallingathisfeet Ijerkmyarmoutofhisgrasp “Shetoldyouwherewewere NowI'llbeinmychambersgettingreadyfor dinner.”
Idon'tmissthefuryinhiseyesatwhatI'vesuggestedIwasdoing HeknowsaswellasIheshouldn'tcare,butIalsoknowI shouldn'tirritatehim.It'shardformenottotoywithhim,heusedtobeoneofmybestfriendsafterall.
Two CARNAXA
Thetableissetwithroastedfish,cookedseaweed,bread,andotherdelicaciesfromourlands.Thekitchenmustbeshowing offsinceEreoniseatingwithus,wantingtoputtheirbestculinaryfootforward WhichIcan’thelpbutthinkishumorous consideringhe'sbeeneatingfromthekitchenssincehearrived,justnotatourtable.Iwasraisedtoalwaysrespectthecommon folkandcastleworkersasmuchasIwouldrespectanyroyalbecausewedonotsurvivewithouttheother Wedon'thavethe fishweeatwithoutthehardworkofthosewhodothefishingandwedon'thavethemealsbeforeus,withoutthosewhoserve inthe kitchen Mymother always wanted to show thata title does notdefine your worthand instead, one should lookatthe heartofthe individual. So withthatinmind, we normallydon'thave this muchprepared for dinner. This is all the kitchen’s doing,notourrequest.
“Thylas said youonce againwentto the markets withoutanescort, Carnaxa,” myfather groans fromthe head ofthe large table.Myfather,KingClennom,withhisstarkwhitehairandclearlyirritatedexpression,meetsmyeyeswithhissterngaze. Thylasstandsonmyleftside,whichismyfather'sright Myguardhasanexpressionthatneverchanges Hekeepshiseyes distantandunmoving,butIknow heiswatching.He'sprobablysmilinginternally.Helovesgettingmeintrouble,eversince wewerelittlekids
“Thylas,shouldeitherlearntodoabetterjobofwatchingmeorabetterjobofkeepinghismouthshut.”Itossagrapeinmy mouthandwashitdownwitha sipofwater.Thylas' feetshuffle the slightestbitbehindme andIhear a sighcome fromhis lips Ereonishereandit'smakingeverythingthatmuchmoreuncomfortable Dinnersareusuallyjustmyfatherandme,atime ofconnectionaftermymother'sdeath.NowIhaveEreonacrossfrommeandThylasatmyback.Myfathercouldhaveatleast invitedSiphonieandRhenortobreakthetension
"Daughter,wehavediscussedthis.Youcannotbemovingaroundthecitylikethiswhentherearesomanynewfacesinthe kingdomnow,includingpeoplefromall over Ashonerafor thefishingseason.Idon’tfeel safewithyouleavingthegrounds unguarded KeepThylaswithyou”HiseyesflicktowardEreon It'shismenwhoroamthestreetsmyFatherisworriedabout Hismencomefromakingdomthatviewswomenasproperty.
Ereonhasn'tsaidawordsincedinnerbegan,afterhisinitialgreeting,hiseyesbouncebackandforthbetweenmyfatherand me.“YourGrace,”hebeginswipingthecornerofhismouthwithalinennapkin.“MaybePrincessCarnaxahasapoint.Maybe weshouldpunishtheguardfornotdoinghisjob Howhardcouldshebetowatch?Mymenwouldhavenoproblemwatching her.Wouldyoulikeustoreplacethisone?”EreonmotionswithabobofhisheadtoThylas.
Ichokeonmydrink,thiswasnotwhatIwanted.HowcouldIhavebeensostupidastospeakmymindinfrontofEreon?Of course,hewouldwanttopunishThylas Fatherisusedtoourlittledisagreementsbutknowsthatattheendoftheday,Thylasis aloyalmemberoftheAntalianShayi,myfatheralsounderstandsmyfreespirit.Heblamesmymotherforthat.
Ismile atthe Prince “Prince Ereon,thankyousomuchfor your offer,butIpromise you,Thylas is a dutiful guard We've knowneachothersincewewerechildren,Iknowmysafetyisoftheutmostimportancetohim.”
“AsmuchasthatpleasesmetohearPrincessCarnaxa,yoursafetyisworthmorethanachildhoodfriendship Ifwewerein mykingdom,hewouldbefloggedorpotentiallyfaceaworsepunishmentfornotwatchingoveryou.”
ThylasstandstallbutIcanseehisfingerstenseatthesoundofbeingflogged.Heknowstoowellthesharppainofawhip, eventhoughitwaslongago Theairintheroombecomestightwithtensionandevenmyfatherseemstodarthiseyestoward Thylastogaugehisexpression.Thedayofthefloggingisforeveringrainedinallourmemories.
Myfathertosseshislinenclothbesidehisplateandcrosseshislegs “Thatwon'tbenecessary,Ereon Thylasisoneofour mosttrusted inside the Antalian Shayi and Iknow he has mydaughter's bestinterestinmind. Carnaxa should be the one to blameassheknowsit'snotsafetobewanderingduringthistime.”HeeyesmeandIknownottoargueatthismoment.Shaston isawholedifferentworld.“WomenofAntalisaresimplymoreindependentthantheyareinthenorth.Ourwomenareknown for their tempers and will to fight, as well as their utter disregard for their own safety while in search of satisfying their curiosities”
“ThenperhapsitisPrincessCarnaxawhoshouldbearthebruntofthepunishment.WomenaretaughttheirplaceinShaston, regardlessoftheirstation Whensheistobemyqueenshewilldowelltorememberthis” Igrindmyteethathisstatement.Queensarenotmeanttobesimpleaccessoriestotheir king.Thethoughtofbeingnothing morethanasilentpartnergoesagainsteverythingwearetaughtinAntalisandagainsteverythingmymotherstoodfor.Ipopthe knuckleofmyringfingertokeepfromspeakingout,how darehehavetheaudacitytorecommendIbepunishedforasimple walkaroundmykingdom.Ishouldspeakup,Ishouldsaysomethingmorebutmyfatherlooksatme,asubtleshakeofhishead. Areminderthatthisisnottheplace
IsenseThylasstepjustahalfstepclosertome,hisfingersitchingtowardhissword.Wedon'ttalkaboutit,butIknow he doesnotliketheideaofmebecomingEreon'swife Maybeit'shislong-agofeelingshehadforme,ormaybeit'sjustloyaltyto Antalisandmyfather.Atonepointinourfriendshipwewouldhavealreadydiscussedthis,butthelastfewlunaryearswe've grownmore distantand Idon'tknow how Ifeel anymore. As he grew and aged, he gotmore handsome and also more cold toward me The dark times after my mother’s death were when my father's reign changed the course of our lives with the decisionshemadeandasaresult,Thylaspulledawayfromme.
Itwould be nice to have someone fromAntalis inShastonwithme, butThylas is a wild card He's loyal to myfather, to Antalis.ButifhelefttogotoShastonitwouldbeaneasierlifetopledgehisloyaltytotheShastonKinginsteadoflivingasan Antalianontheirsands Thylas'faultishisloyalty,theunnecessarydesiretoshowmyfatherheisworthyofthehomeprovided to himall those lunar years ago. Thylas never talks about where he is from, I don’t know if he even remembers, but he's thankfulforhishomeinAntalisnonetheless.
“Youare correct, Prince Ereon Mydaughter should be punished butyouwould be wise to remember thatyouare inmy home and notShaston.As such, youwill keepthatinmindas she is mydaughter and notyetyour queen.” Myfather pushes backfromthe table andtosses his napkinontothe table as he ends the conversation,“Ithinkitis time todepart” He walks away, not givinganyone a chance to have anyother words. He glances at me over his shoulder. “Come daughter, for your punishment,”hestates,ashemakeshiswaythroughthedoorway,notsparinganotherglanceback
Sweatthickens across mybrow and myhands become clammy. I've seenfather's punishments buthave never beenonthe receivingendofthem–evenwhenitwasdeserved.He'snotdealtouttheroughestofpunishmentsinmanymoons.Thetimes aftermymother'sdeathwereroughandIoftenwonderedifwewouldenduplikeShaston,butmyfatherwasabletoreignin hisangerandkeepAntalisapeacefulnation,aswe'vealwaysbeen.However,hewillstillsentencepunishmentsiftheoffense issignificant Thosewhorapeorkill,thosewhodeservepunishment AsIstandup,mypurplegownslightlytouchingthefloor asIdo;Ereonstands,andbowsatthewaist,aslightgrinonhis facebeforehegetsinthelastword,“YourHighness.”
“Youhavetowatchyourmouthandyourattitude,Carnaxa!”myfatheryells,asheslamsthedoorshutbehindhim.
Afterleavingthetablewewalkdownthelongcorridortohispersonalchambersincompletesilence Thylasisbehindme, hisheavybootsthumpingagainstthecastle'smarbledfloor.ThecastleisoneofAntalis'greatesttreasures.Itisnotmadeofthe grey,dullstoneofthepeoples’homes,butofwhitemarblewithgoldandblueveiningthroughout.Theornate,floor-to-ceiling windowsletthenaturalseaairandlightin.Themoonshinesdownonusaswewalk,reflectingoffthepolishedfloors.Even so, this walkfeels heavywithstrongwords thatcannotbe said because ofthe ears thatmighthear. Strands ofceruleanhair ticklemypaleoliveskinastheocean’sbreezewhipsthroughthecorridor Myfatherisnotpleasedbywhattranspiredinthe feastinghall,andIworryaboutwhathewillsayaswestopinfrontofhisdoor.
“Thylas,youaredismissedforthenight Iwillhavesomeoneelsewatchher Shewillbereadytoseeyouinthemorning,as she will be there waitingfor anescortbefore she leaves her chambers.” Myfather turns to his personal guard and politely requests,“Eldoris,pleasestandoutside.I'dlikeawordwithmydaughterbeforeyoutakeherbacktoherrooms.”
Eldoris,wearinghisowngoldenarmor,standstallandnodsquietlytomyfather Hehasbeenmyfather'spersonalguardfor manylunaryears,sincehewasayoungmanhimself.Hisfatherwastheguardformygrandfatheraswellashisparamore,and whenmygrandfathersteppeddownfromthethroneandwalkedintothesea'sembrace,hisguardwentwithhim
Thylasbowsslightly.“Goodevening,myking”–andthenheturnstomewithawearysmileonhisface–“Goodevening, Princess”Heturnsandwalksdownthehall Thylasisoneofthetallestinthe Ke Neye Hisshouldersarestrongandbroad, butIknowthedarksecretsheldinthescarsacrosshisback.Hisarmsbearthemarkingsofwhatittakestobecomeasoldierof the Ke Neye.Thetattoosarefromtherankingshehasgainedinthe Shayi alongwithhispersonalstory.Theyswirlindarkink aroundhisarm,inalanguagelosttomost ThetattoosdetailthesacredoathonemustsaywhenjoiningtheAntalianShayi The soldiersaretheonlyonesinour kingdomtowear thosespecifictattoos,somehavemorethanothers.Oathsofmarriageand wordsofhonor arealsoseenmarkedontheir skin Thylasisstill young,butIhavenodoubthewill havemoremarkingsas timegoeson.
Father slowlyopens his door and beckons me inside His mainroomis dimlylit withonlyone burningcandle near his bedside. Iwalktoward his window and peer out, watchingas the waves come inand out. Itake a deep breathand exhale slowlyasthewavesappeartodothesame.Themoon,highinthesky,hasasmallcloudinfrontofit,andIwatchasitdrifts acrossitsface
Fatherwalkstowardhistableandgrabsaglassandthedarkliquornexttoit.Pouringhimselfafingerandslowlybringsitto hisbeard-coveredmouth He'sagingandthestressofthefuturedoesn'thelp Mymotherandhetriedtohaveanotherchild,soI wouldn'tbeleftaloneintheworld.Instead,theyhadme,andmymotherwastakenbythedeluc.
“I'msorry,Father,” Isayas myfingers begintotremble as Iremember how the loss ofher affectedhim,how her passing impactedthekingdom.
Helookstowardmeandhiseyessoften.“Don'tdothat.Don'tactasifyou'rescaredofme–Ihavenotpermittedfloggingsin severallunaryears I'mnotgoingtoharmyou,Ijustwanttoremindyouthatyouarenotalwaysinaplacetobesharingyour thoughts.”
Fatherpourshimselfanotherfingerofliquor,andthetensionbetweenhiseyebrowsrelaxesjustforamomentbeforeheturns backtome.
“YouknowIdon'twanttodothis,Naxa.Ijustdon'tknowwhatelsetodo.Iviloanwouldhave…shealwaysknewwhatto do.Ineverwantedthis.YouwillbethesolerulerofAntalisandyouhavetohaveapowerfulhusbandtodefenditwithyou. We are in a time of peace right now, but the Southern Continent could decide at any time to challenge us. If I broke the agreementofyour betrothal, Shastoncould, withintheir contractual rights, declare war onus Imade a rashdecision, one I muststandbynow.Manyofouryoungpeoplehavenotseenbattle,andtheonesthathavearetoooldtocarrytheburdenalone. Our Shayi Yengo soldiers are strongfor war at sea and our Shayi Maka soldiers are prepared for battles onland, but the KingdomofShastonlivesinthebloodofbattles.”
Iwalktowardmyfatherandputmyhandonhissqueezingtightly.“Iknow,Father.” We'vebeenthroughthissameconversationmanytimesover Heislost,hasbeenlost,withoutmymother Shewashistwin drop.Shewaseverythingtohim.
Theyearsafterherdeathweredark Hesworetherainbowsurroundingthesunnolongerhadcolorbecauseshetookitall withherto Mohasha,ourhomeafterdeath.Iremembertheringaroundthesun,illuminatedbyamultitudeofcolors,nowitisa simple, bright-white ring The color went out the day my mother died That was the first sign something was wrong with Ashonera.
ThemythshavelongtoldAntalisisspecial,blessedbytheGoddess.ShecreatedAntalis,consistingofislandsmadeupof concentriccircles,twoofwater,andtwooflandwithourcastleinthemiddleonanislandallitsown Thecanalsopentothe
seasouthofus,givingour shipsaccesstotheGreatSeafor tradeandalsotoletthewater flow fromtheseaintoour inlets. Before the end of magic, powerful creatures lurked beneath and were often there to help protect us. The Goddess created AntalisfirstbeforeShecreatedtherestoftheworld TheGoddesswantedcompanionship,peoplewhowouldcelebrateand loveher,becauseshewalkedamongthem.Shehadbeenlonelyforsolonginthecosmos.SheblessedthefirstAntalianswith magicandlife Alifefreefromailments,andwhenthetimeofdeathisuponus,shegivesusthegiftofbeingcalledhome,a senseofpeace,ofpurposefulfilled.Wehaveneverfearedsicknessofthebodylikethosewholiveinotherkingdoms.
Ifthe stories are accurate, the ancientAntalians had power over water Theycould create isolated rainstorms, and some people could speak to the sea creatures of the Great Mother's oceans. Whispers of rare powers that could harness and manipulateiceortamethewavesoftheseaarealsowrittenwithinlegendsofold.
Mymother was thefirstAntaliantodiefromillness Accordingtotheelders,whenAntalians arecalledhome,asenseof peace, and the Mother's voice whisperinginyour ear to ‘come home’is whatwe have to lookforward to. Those chosento leavethisrealmsimplywalktowardtheocean'swaveswithasmileontheirface Thedeluciswhatweareallafraidofnow Aftermymother'sdeath,eachmoon,manyothershavecomedownwithitaswell.
Theotherkingdoms,onbothcontinents,havetheirownmyths;IneverpaidattentiontothestoriessinceIbelievedmylife wouldforeverbeinAntalis.Obviously,Ishouldhavelistenedmoretomytutor.TheonethingIremember,however,isthatthe Goddesshasalwaysfavoredus.
I'veaskedmyfather multipletimes whyIcouldn'trulealoneandtheanswer is simple–becausesomeoneelsewill tryto overthrow me. He's scared – all Antalians are – this is a time ofthe unknown. Atime ofchange. We thoughtthe deluc just affectedmymother,untiltheoldestmemberofourkingdombecamesickthenextseason Thedelucisgainingmomentumand seemstobetakingeventhechildren.Father doesn'twantmetobealone,hedoesn'twantthedeluctotakemeeither andthe Antalianstobeleftwithoutaroyalleader.Ifourroyallineends,ourpeoplewouldbelefttothemercyoftheShastonianswho wouldsurelyassumethethrone.Thisisoursafestoptiontotrytokeepsomesayinourkingdom.
“WillhepunishThylas?”Imumble,fidgetingmyhandsinthefoldsofmygauzygown.
“No He's inmykingdomandwill obeymyrules However,whatever theproblemis betweenyouandThylas,itneeds to stopnow.DidyouthinkIdidn'tnoticehowcloseyouoncewereandnowyouseemtobenothingbutahindrancetoeachother? Iftimesweredifferent,Iwouldhaveconsideredabetrothal betweenthetwoofyouforsurelyhewouldhaveaskedbynow Sincethatisnotthecase,IneedhimtotraveltoShastonwithyou.Ineedtoknowyouwillbesafe.Shaston’slawsandculture arenotlikeours,Daughter,andyouneedtogetreadyforwhatwillbeexpectedofyou.Yourmotherwouldhavedonebetterat preparingyou.”
“Mymother wouldhavetaughtmetobeexactlywhatshewas: strongandauthoritative.Mother wouldhavewantedmeto findmytwindrop,notjustagreetoamarriagebecauseofyourpolitics Motherwouldhaveneverforcedmetomarry ” He cuts me off sharply, “Your mother would have also taught youto be smart and to do what needs to be done for your kingdomand your livelihood She would have encouraged youtomarryfor my politics, because ifyoudon't, the restofour peoplecouldsuffer.AtwindropisnotaguaranteeanymoreCarnaxa,youknowthat.Wehavetodowhatwemusttosurvive.”
Itrytotakeadeepbreathbutmymouthisdryandmytonguefeelsheavy.Idon'twanttofighthim,soIrelent,“Yes,Father.” Mymotherdidherbesttoraisemetohaveamindofmyown,butthroughtheyearsI’velearnedit’seasiesttoagreeandgoon Perhapsitwasthelossofmymother,perhapsitwaswitnessingthecruel punishmentThylasreceived,or maybeit’sjustthe ideathatevenifIwanttochangethingsIcan’t IwishIhadSiphonie’sresolve,shehasmymother’smindset She’sstrongand hasnoproblemarguingforherbeliefs,yetIwillalwaysbetheonewhostrivestoattaineveryoneelse’sapproval.Tokeepthe peace
“Carryontoyourroomsforthenight,andtrynottogiveEreonareasontohaveaproblemwithThylasoryou,again.You know what happens to the womenofShastoniftheydon't behave. Idon't want that to happento youwhenyouleave here. Please,Carnaxa”Hiseyeslookolderthantheyusedto Thewrinklesaroundhisfaceandtheworrylinessurroundinghiseyes arelikeastabtothegutashekissesmycheek.
AlayerofsweatslicksmyskinasIwake,confusedandblinking,Itrytofindmybearings I'mnotonetousuallydream,but whenIdoit'salwaysnightmares.Sometimestheymakesense,mymother'sdeathandThylas'whipping.Thelooksintheireyes hauntsme Thelookonhisfaceashetookthepain,hereyesglossingoverasdeathtookher OthertimesIdreamofwaterand drowningorbloodandwar.WarsI'veneverseen,yettheytormentme.BloodcoversmyhandsintheseterribledreamsandI scream,unabletoescapethem
IslipmyfeetfrombeneaththecoversasIrunmyhandsthroughmymatted,sleep-riddenhair.Thecandlehasburntoutbut thereisstillasliverofmoonlightfilteringthroughthecurtains,fightingwiththerisingsun.Thesteadywindmovesthelacey curtainsthatseparatemefrommybalcony Iyawnandrunmyhandsacrossmyface;it'smuchtooearlytobewakingup
Ithrowonmygreensilkrobethathitsmeatthemiddleofmythighsandwalktowardmybookcase.Shadowsdancefromthe slitunderthedoorcatchingmyattentionandIstopmoving.ItiptoetowardthedoorsothatIcanhopefullyheartheramblings ofthe guards or servants upatthis hour Guards andservants are always the bestgossips Salacious rumors surroundingthe castleandthecity,thecomingsandgoingsofpeopleofnote,andifyoulistencloselyenough youcanlearnabouteverything havingtodowithAntalis Theguardsorthosewhoserveinthecastleoftenblendintothebackgroundwellenoughthatmany talkfreelyinfrontofthem.Theguardmyfatherhadpositionedoutsidemydoorisnew andyoungandIdon'tknow hisname butmaybehehasinterestingwhisperstotellinthedarktowhomeverelsemaybeoutthere Iletmyear touchthecolddoor madefromdriftwoodthat’sfoundontheshoreandsoftenmybreathstobetter hear.Boots softlyclackagainstthemarbledfloorsapproachingmydoor.
“I'lltakeitfromhere,”Thylassaysaptly MythroatsuddenlygoesdryatthesoundofhisdeepvoiceandIleanfurtherinto thedoor.Hewasdismissedbymyfather,notexpectedtobeseenuntil morning,anew guardsentashisreplacementfor the night Whyisheherenow,andatthishour?
“KingClennomtold me to guard Princess Carnaxa until the morning. I’ll finishmyshiftas instructed,” the guard answers apathetically “Goenjoythetaverns,takeabreakwithoneofthe mæna ”Theguardchucklesunderhisbreathwhileheshuffles inhisarmor.
Thylas’voice takes on a more serious tone, “First, I amyour superior and you will address me as such. Second, King Clennomhashadmestationedasherguardformanyyears,hewon’tmindifItellyoutogo Infact,hemightpreferit Nowas Istated,I’lltakeitfromhere.”
Ihear aquickmumbleof,“Yes,Captain,”astheyoungguardretreats Asteadyshadow underneathmydoor letsmeknow Thylasisinplaceandwon’tbeleaving.ThylasistheCaptainofthe Ke Neye, thesoldiersresponsibleforguardingtheroyals ofAntalis,Thylasismypersonalguard.Ibreatheasigh,Ialwaysfeelsafewhenhe'satmyback,orinthiscase,atmydoor.I knowhe'llprotectme,regardlessofthecoldnessbetweenus.
I step awayfromthe door and light a small candle that sits onthe edge of the desknear the door. The waxhas already drippeddownitsholderandImakeamentalnotetoreplacethecandlesoon Iagainwalktowardthesmallbookcaseonthe oppositewall,decidingtoreadbeforeattemptingtosleepagain.Irunmyfingersalongthespinesoftheleatherboundbooks. Volumes filledwithmyths,legends andhistoryline the bookcase andIwouldlove nothingmore thantogetlostina book I breatheoutdeeplyknowingreadingwoulddonothingmorethankeepmeawake.Ipassover myfavoritestoriesandinstead pickupmymostboringtome, The History of the Shaston Kingdom This bookwas giventomebyatutor soIcould,atthe veryleast,learnaboutthehistoryofthekingdomI’llberesidinginsoon.Isettleinanoversized,satinloungechairandstretch outmylegs,drapingablanketacrossme.Iopenthebookandstartonthefirstpage.
“The Goddess didn't bless those of the Shaston Kingdom as she did those in the Kingdom of Antalis The people of Shaston are cruel, warriors fashioned by blood and … ” isallIamabletoreadbeforeIfindsleeponceagain.
WThree
THYLAS
alkingdownthecorridorIlistenasKingClennom'sdoorshutswithCarnaxainside.Ofcoursehewoulddismissme,still seeingmeastheyoungboywhocametothiscastlemanymoonsago Thesmall boywhodideverythingrightuntil one night,Ididn't.Onedecisionmadefortherightreasoninmyeyes,notinhis,andI'llforeverwearthescarsonmyback.Irunmy handsthroughmyhair,gatheringhalfofitupandtyingitbehindmewithaleatherband Iwalkoutthroughthetallcastledoors, noddingtothesentries.Makingmywaytothesmallvillageacrossthebridgeonthefrontsideofthecastle,thenightbecomes brighter fromtorches markingthe path The center islandofAntalis is for the royal familyandthose whoworkinthe castle along with the training yard and barracks for the soldiers. The middle ring is where many Antalian subjects run their businesses. The marketplace is full of shops, along with common areas for worship and festivals. From the middle ring, another bridge leads to the outermost ringthat connects to the mainland ofthe NorthernContinent IfIneed to meet witha tradesperson, I go to the outer ring. Always bustling, the fishing markets, stone masons, blacksmiths, tailors and other merchants have direct access to the Shayi Yengo ships The land that meets the Midaeliea Kingdomborder is home to the majorityofourpeopleiftheydon'tliveinhomesconnectedtotheirshopshereontheringedislands.Thecastlesendsweekly envoyswithaccesstohealers,priestesses,scholars,andanythingelsethattheymightrequiresothepeopledon’thavetotravel fornecessities.
CarnaxaandIwouldoftentravelandexploretheringswhenwewerechildren.Herfatherforbadeherfromleavingtheinner islandbutsheoftenignoredhiscommands Eventhen,IknewIwouldforeverprotecther Shewastheonewhosavedmethe firstnightIwashedashore.
Regardless, her disregard to listento reasonis becomingoverwhelminglyfrustrating The pastcouple oflunar years have
beentheworst,andnowitseemsmoreseverewiththearrivalofherbetrothed.Disappearingfromwheresheissupposedto beandleavingwithSiphonieorsometimesbyherself.Thismorningshesaidshewassimplygoingtothegardens,sowhenI called for her and couldn'tfind her mytemper flared She was permitted to go to the gardens alone since it’s still oncastle grounds,butforobviousreasons,itisnolongerallowed.
Carnaxa has always beenone to pushme, butthis is notthe time Notwithher marriage ceremonyso close and notwith PrinceEreonhere.Ereonbroughthismenfromthenorth,menwhoaretrainedandareasdangerousasanyone.Shastonstill hastofightcreaturesattheedgeoftheirkingdom,thefrozenlandsofthenorth Ialwaysfounditinterestinghowakingdomas hotandbarrenasShastoncouldalsoencompasslandthatissocold.ThelasttruebattlewasTheGreatWarbutthatwasover twohundredlunaryearsago,mymothertoldmestoriesofthebloodybattle.Thepeopleofthatagewieldedmagicaswellas theywieldedasword AshiverskittersdownmyspineasIimagineabattlebeingfoughtinsuchaway
The Shastonians care little for the small amountofstrained peace we have. Theywould rather conquer us iftheysaw an ounceofweakness,whichis infact,startingtoshow Itwas whyKingClennomagreedtothebetrothal ofPrinceEreonand Princess Carnaxa. WhenQueenIviloandied fromthe deluc, everythingchanged. Eventhe air feltdifferentwiththe deathof QueenIviloan;Iremember whenshepassed,thechill thatseemedtosweepthroughthekingdom Oncesicknessanddisease werestoriestoldtoscareAntalianchildren.NolongerwerewetheGoddess-blessedAntalis,wecouldsuccumbtosickness justaseasilyasanyotherfromanyoftheotherkingdoms.
Standingbeforemyfavoritetavern,IkickthewetsandoffmybootsbeforeIopenthericketywoodendoorandwalkin The crowdisalightonetonight,withonlyahandful ofpatronsandafew ladiesfor hire.TheladiessmileasIwalkthroughthe room,makingsure topull their alreadyrevealingtops a little lower The ladies for hire are unapologetic intheir sensuality, theyarelookeduponthesamewayanyotherwomaninourkingdomis.Withoutjudgmentorcondemnation.Thesewomenhave chosentheir workas mæna and are happyto give their gifts ofpleasure to others. Theyaren'tlooked uponwithdisdainfor theirbodiesassomewomenareinotherkingdoms.No,thesearerespectedwomen,choosingtoembracetheirbodiesandthe sensualitytheGoddessbestoweduponthem.
Iwalktowardthebacktable,pullingoutawoodenchair Isitdownandadjustmyswordtolayacrossmybackinsteadof pokinginto myhip bone. The owner smiles atme, alreadybringingme a glass ofmyfavorite ale. Chantara sauntingbehind him Henodsbeforenotifyingme,“She'sbeenwaitingforyou ”Hesetsdownthefoamingale,sloshingabitontothetable beforeretreatingbacktothebar.
Chantaracomesupbehindme,herbrazenredhairfallinginloosecurlsdowntoherhips.Sherubsherchestagainstmyback andbeginskneadingtheknotsoutofmyneck.Herlongpaintedfingernailsdigintothetendermuscles.Thesamemusclesthat Carnaxa’sconstantrecklessnesslikestoaddstressto.Nottomentionmyconstantworryingofwhatwillhappenwhenit’stime for her toleave Iamanxioustoknow ifshewill takemewithher or not,andthenIworryaboutmyplaceinAntalisifshe doesn't. I've always beenher personal guard since takingthe oath. Iwould mostlikelyremainCaptainofthe Ke Neye, I’ve earnedthatright ButIworrystill,whatwillbecomeofme,allI’veeverknownisprotectingher
“How are youtonight, Thy?” Chantara whispers softlyinto myear. Her teethgentlytugatmyearlobe. Her softfingertips trailmycollarboneasshedoesso.
“It'sbeenalongday,”Iexhale,asIleanbackintoherembrace WhilewetakenovowsofchastityasguardsofAntalis,Iam notonetosow myoatseverywhere.NotthatIaminnocent,Ididhaveafew lunaryearsafterthefloggingwhereIwasmore liberalinmysexualescapades Iwouldfindanyonewhowouldhavemeduringthattime Butrecently,Chantarahasbecome theoneIseekinthedarkofnight.
“Wantto talkaboutit?” she asks as she continues to knead her longfingers into mymuscles Idon’twantto talkaboutit, becausetalkingonlyleadstomewantingthingsIcan’thave.Imaketheonlydecisionthatwillhelpmeforget.
“Notreally.”Itakeanothergulpofale,finishingitcompletelybeforeturningtofaceher,andpullherdownontomylap.She giggles as she pushes her red-stained lips uponmine, her tongue dancingsoftlywithmine She tastes ofale and honey She pullsawayandkissesmycheek.
She runs her fingers through my hair and whispers softly, “Let's go up to the room, what I have in mind doesn't require talking.”SheeyesthestairsandInodinagreement,notstoppingtoremoveherfromme.Istandup,grabbingthebackofher thighsandwrapthemaroundmywaist WehaphazardlywalkupthestairstotheroomIknowshehaswaiting,thedooralready open.
Kickingthedoor shut,Ilayher gentlydownonthebed.Her small roomis warmwithafireinthecorner castingdancing shadowsthroughthearea Hergauzytandressridesuptoherwaistasshescootsfurtherback Herskinflushes,herporcelain whiteskinnowarosypink.Iwatchasherchestrisesandfallswhileherdarkgreeneyeswatchme,wishingtheywereeyesof blue
Iquicklyremovemyarmorandcastmylinenshirttoacorneroftheroom.Sinkingontothefeatherbedbetweenherlegs,I tracetheangleofherknee,downhersoftthighwithmyfingertips.Followingthesamepathasmyfingers,Ikissslowlytoward hercoreasshemoanssoftly.Igrabherlegsanddrapethemovermyshouldershavingherpresentedlikeafeastbeforeme.
“Alwaysthegentlemen,pleasuringtheladiesfirst,”shesaysflirtatiously.Herfingerscurlintotheblanketsbeneathher,my
cockalreadypushinghardagainsttheleathersofmypants.Lookingupather,Iswipemytongueagainsther center.Ashiver runsdownherbodywhenmytonguesoftlyflicksherclit.HerdesirecoatsmytongueasIburyitdeepinher,feelingherbody eruptingoosebumpsandaloudmoanrushesfromherlips Shepullsattherootsofmyhair,andIgrowlagainsther Usingone finger,Ipushinsideher,findingthespotIknowshecraves.Shebucksagainstme,alreadywantingmore.Iusemythumbtorub againstherclit,pickingupthepacewithmyfinger AsIamabouttoaddanotherfinger,shesuddenlypushesmeaway,andI lookupatherconfused.
“What'swrong?”Ipushuptomykneesandrubmyhandsalongtheinsideofherthighs “Nothing,” she breathes heavily. “I’ve thought about youall day, and I want your prickinside of me instead of just your tonguetonight.”
Sheleansup,pullingthethreadofmypants,andmylengthpulsesforwardasshepushesthemdowntomyknees Shelooks upatmewithherroundeyesanddarklashesbeforetakingmeintohermouthandIgaspasthewarmthofitoverwhelmsme. Shehollowshercheeks,takingmedeepandIpushagainsther “Wait,”Itellherasshereleasesme,“thesedamnpantsareintheway.”
SheleansbackandsmilesdevilishlyatmeasIstandtotakethemoffquickly,tossingtheminthecornerwithmyshirt She raceshernailsalongmychest,sendingshiversdownmyspine.
Sittingontheedgeofthebed,Imotionforhertocometome.Sheclimbsontopofme,herthighsstraddlingmywaist.She leansonherkneesasIalignmycockatherentrancebeforeIpushmyselfupintoherandbitesoftlyonherchinasshecomes down.HerdressbunchesbetweenusandIripthebottom,gettingitoutoftheway.Shedoesn'tmissathrustassheridesme, hermoansminglingwiththesoundsofthestreetsbelowwaftingthroughthewindows
IpushupandintoherfasterasshedigshernailsintomychestandIgraspthebackofherneckandgripherhip.Shebounces againstme,herhairfallingoverherbreast.Iloosentheknotofherdressatherneckanditfalls,herbreastrubbingagainstmy chest.HerpinknipplespeakandIleandowngreedilytotakethemintomymouth.Sheclenchesaroundmeandasherclimax takesher,andIpushdeepinsideher.HerwallspulsearoundmeasIfindmyownrelease.It'sinthosemoments,asweregain ourbreaths,Ifindmyselfstill thinkingofanother,andIknow Iwon'tbewakinguptoChantaratomorrow morningbecauseI needtobesomewhereelse.
Four CARNAXA
Thebookfallstothefloor,theheavythudwakingme.Ilazilyleandownfromthehigh-backedchairandpickitupfromthe floor JustasIexpected, The History of Shaston putmerighttosleep IstandandstretchthenwalktowardmyvanityandbegintamingmyGoddess-blessedmessofhair.Thelightceruleanblue strands are goinginall directions,andthe frizzis outofcontrol Onlyfew remainwhohave hair the colors ofthe rainbow Beforethewaritwascommonforbabiestobebornwithallcolorsupontheirscalp.Now,it’sararity,somethingelsethatleft thisearthwithmagic Igrabmymother'sgoldenbrushandbeginbrushingfromthebottomup,holdingtheendsinmyfist,the waymymothertaughtmewhenIwasayounggirl.Thememoriesofherhavefadedsomeovertheyears,butherlessonswill alwaysremain.
Myfather'seyesstarebackatme,skyblue,deep-setandalmondshaped WhenIwasyoungermanythoughtIwasmyfather's twinbutasI'veaged–it'smymother'sfacethatstaresbackatme.Icouldalmostbeconsideredhertwin,evenmypaleivory skinis the same shade as hers Her pointed chinand round highcheekbones Myslender nose, whichIused to hate, are all remindersofwhatwe'velost.
Afterherdeath,wecreatedherburialshipaswedoforallthosewhoselivesweretakeninsteadofcalledbytheGoddess Theshipwasmadefromthewhitepalmsthatcoverthebeachesnearestthesea.Wedecorateditwithher favoriteherbsand flowers.Thenweletitgointothesea-carriedbythecurrent.Thesmellofsaltandlavendersweptbacktousaswelether go IwatchedforaslongasIcould,hershipbecomingsmallerandsmalleruntilitwasnomorethanatinyspeckagainstthe lightofthecrescentmoonabove.
Myfather,inhisgrief,triedbrutishlytotakebackhisshellfromherneck Itdidn’tmakesense,buttohim,hewantedtokeep
apieceofher.Hescratchedwithhisfingersuntilthetipswerebloodyandherchestwasmarred.Butanoathofmarriageisnot meanttobebroken,andnothinghedidcouldgettheshellback.IglanceatthebaseofmyownneckknowingEreonwillsoon placehisshellonmeaswell Shastoniansdon’trecognizethepractice,butIwouldneverallowmyweddingceremonytobe withoutit.
Walkingtothewardrobe,Ichooseasilkengownofgold,thesidesarecutoutandtheskirtbecomessheerasitreachesthe floor.Ifinishbraidingmyhairintwinfishtailbraidsandletitdrapedownmyback,beforeIsliponapairofthinsandalsthat tiearoundtheankles
Openingmydoor,Thylasstandsoutside,leaninghisbackagainstthefarwall,facingthedoortomyrooms.Ieyethemarks alonghiscollarbone,he'sbeenwithawomanrecently.NotthatI'mjealous,thatwasneverapathforus.It’sstillirritatingthat hecangoanddowhateverhelikes,andyetnowthatI'mbetrothed,Iamsupposedtobechastetillmyweddingnight Theonly timeanAntalianissupposedtobechaste,manor woman,iswhentheyarebetrothed,atraditionstartedfromasuperstition. Thebeliefbeing,ifyouweretemptedtobewithsomeoneafteryourbetrothal,thenaburdensomemarriageawaited Butstill, therewasatimeIthoughtmaybetherippleswouldhappen.Hecouldhavebeenmytwindropbuttheebbneveroccurred.
“Goodmorning, Nohæ ”Hebowsslightlybeforeputtinghishandonthetopofhissword,andhisotherhandsweepstoward thecorridor.
“Goodmorning,Thylas.”Ismileandwalkpasthim.Therewillbenolosinghimtoday,he'sgoingtomakesureheisstuckto melikealgaeonstone
“Are youever goingto tell me whatthatmeans?” He's called me Nohæ since he learned the old language ofAntihana, a languagethe Ke Neye usebutislostinmostdailyspeechexceptforourprayers “Hadn'tplannedonit,no,”Ihearhimchuckleunderhisbreath.I'veaskedhimsincehebegantocallmebyit,buthenever revealsitsmeaning.Itrulythinkitjustmeansbratorpainintheass.Burdenmightbethecorrecttranslation.Ishouldgofinda scholarandseeiftheycanshinesomelightonthesubject.
Thesunisgleamingofftheseaasitriseshigher bringingthedaywithit.Wewalkinsilenceasservantsshuffledownthe halls,gettingreadytocleanourrooms Likelittledoves,theyflitterinandoutofeachroommakingquickwork
“Iwouldliketoventureintothemarketstoday,”Imention,glancingovermyshoulder.“Doesthatworkforyou?” “Asyouwish, Nohæ ”Hewalksbehindme,hisbootsthuddingsoftlyashedoes “Becausewhywouldyouwanttomakemy jobeasyandjustgotothelibraryorthegardensinsidethecastlewalls,right?”
Ignoringhim,Iwalkintothebreakfasthall.Thespaceisfloodedwithpeoplegrabbingfoodfromthelonggoldenbreakfast table near the frontofthe room. Myfather isn'there, nor is Siphonie, butthat's notunusual. Myfather usuallywakes before everyoneandSiphonie…well shewakes whenshewants to. Bêlits smile atThylas andIwatchas theytrytosubtlyadjust their clothes or hair, blushcrossingmost of their faces Thylas is not expected to have a twindrop since his blood is not Antalian but I have hope that the Goddess will bless him with one. It wasn't unheard of for those who fell in love with Antalianstobeblessedaswell,butnowit’sararitytofindyourtwindropAntalianornot
“Ifyouwant,goaheadandsitdownandI'llgrabyourfood.”Thylasmotionstowardthetablewithmyfriends,andIwalk over.HeknowswhatIeat,I'veeatenthesamethingmostmorningssinceIwastwelve.Apieceoftoastedbreadwithalmond butter,apeach,andaglassofgoatsmilk
Isitbesidesomeoftheladiesthatgrewupalongsidemeinthecastle.Mariannasitsnexttome.Herchocolatehairistiedup inalooseknotatthebackofneck Thebrightorangedresscomplimentsherwarmivoryskinandshesmilesasshegreetsme, “Goodmorning,Carnaxa.”
“Good morning, what are your plans for the day?” Marianna just got married last week Her father, Bêl Taelic threw a weddingcelebrationtoremember.She'soneoftheluckyoneswhofoundherdropearlyinlife.She'sonlyeighteenbutshetold mewhenthematchingflowtoherebbreverberatedaroundher,itwaslikeshecouldseetheirlivespast,present,andfuture. “Today ”shesighs,“FanonandIaregoingtosurveytheareathatistobeoursontheoutskirtsoftherings Myfather,you know,hasanoldhomeouttherebutithasn'tbeenusedsincehemovedintothecastle,yearsbeforeIwasborn.”
“Soyouwon'tbehereanymore?”Myheartbreaksatthenews BesidesSiphonie,Mariannaisoneofmyclosestfriends “Oh,wewillcomebackeverysooften.Ijustwantaplacethat'sjustmineandFanon's.Igrewupinthepalaceandhedidn't. IthinkI'lllikethechangeofscenery,andmaybeevenenjoysomeofthesilencethatcomeswithlivingoutthere I'veheardit's agreatplacetobringupchildren.Lesschaos,lessstress…andwiththedeluc.”
Shepauses.EveryonealwayspauseswhenthedelucismentionedsinceitwasMotherwhowasthefirsttosuccumb.Many blameherlikeshewastheonetoirritatetheGoddesssolicitingacursebebroughtuponher Iknowthat'snottrue Motherwas afullbelieverintheGoddess.Shespokeofherdaily,evenmakingupstoriestohelpmefeelmoreconnectedtoher.Shespoke asiftheGoddesswasafriendofhers,andinawayshewas IbelieveMotherwasmorespiritualthansomeofthepriestsor priestesses.We,asAntalians,knowthereisonlytheGoddess,butthewayMothertoldthestoriesandsangthesongshadthe GoddessfeelingrealtomewhenIwasachild.
“Hereyouare, Nohæ.” ThylassitsthewoodenplateinfrontofmewithexactlywhatIwanted.Hisownplateoverflowing withbaconandsausageandeggs.“Aman'sbreakfast,”heusedtocallitwhenhewasakid.“I'llbeoverthere.Donoteventry
