A look at some not-too-bright crooks

Every now and then we like to feature criminals who don’t have a lot upstairs.

The following true stories are yet another reason why crime does not pay.

They say criminals always return to the scene of the crime — but a bumbling California bank robber didn’t even wait a day before he came back to the branch he allegedly knocked over.

Samuel Brown, 33, was busted after he tried to rob the same Fountain Valley Chase bank two days in a row, police said.

The San Diego resident took off with “a large amount of cash” after he slipped a stickup note to a teller at the Newhope Street Chase at 3 p.m. Monday, Fountain Valley police said in a news release.

But the dough apparently wasn’t enough for Brown, who came back to the bank the next morning and tried to rob it again, cops said.

Police arrived at around 11:15 a.m. and arrested him without incident, according to the release.

Brown had an outstanding arrest warrant and a rap sheet that included previous robbery convictions in San Diego, police stated.

He is being held on $170,000 bail in Orange County Jail and facing multiple robbery charges, the release said.

Asleep at the steal

An Ohio woman reportedly woke up to discover a burglar napping in her guest bedroom after he had broken in overnight, taken a swim in her outdoor pool — and even eaten the family’s leftover chicken.

“He just helped himself to everything in our house,” Stacy Steadman told the Associated Press of the bizarre break-in.

Steadman — who lives with her husband, son and brother-in-law — said she saw that a light was on in the spare room, where she then found the not-so-smooth criminal snoozing.

The quick-thinking gal — whose husband, Raymond Pearson, had already left for work before the invasion — woke up her brother-in-law, Bryant Pearson, who chased the intruder out of the home.

Unfortunately, that was only the tip of the iceberg. The distraught woman subsequently discovered that the door to the backyard was open and that the man’s sopping wet trousers were laying by the pool, indicating that he’d taken a swim, the AP reported. She added that the hungry criminal had also apparently finished off the leftovers of the previous night’s chicken dinner — and even “lit a candle in the bathroom,” as if their home was an Airbnb.

Before leaving, the creepy nap-nabber even swiped a pair of her son’s underwear.

It remains unclear how the man entered the home, although Steadman’s husband had spied the guy walking in the street shirtless before he left for work at 4 a.m. He reportedly waited until the wackadoo passed by before driving off.

“When I left here, my family was sound asleep. My family was safe,” he said.

Thankfully, the sleepy chickensnatcher was arrested by police, who suspected that he was intoxicated and brought him to a hospital for an examination. The man has since been slapped with a burglary charge and issued a court summons.

Nonetheless, Steadman remains rattled by the fact that a prowler was able to infiltrate the home they’d been living in for more than a decade.

This isn’t the first time a criminal has treated someone’s house like a Holiday Inn. In 2015, police in Sarasota, Florida, reported arresting a man who had broken into a home and then fallen asleep on the sofa.

Caught orange handed

A woman was busted for a home invasion in Oklahoma — thanks in part to “Cheeto dust” found in her teeth, authorities allege.

Sharon Carr was arrested on a firstdegree burglary charge after allegedly committed the dangerously cheesy act Friday at a home in Tulsa, police said.

Cops say they arrived at the home that night, where a mom of two young kids had called 911 to report that another lady had pried a screen off her window and gotten inside.

The snack-loving sneak had already fled — but cops say they found “a bag of Cheetos and a bottle of water on the floor near the open window.”

A few seconds later, however, Carr allegedly emerged from the shadows, police told news station KTUL.

The mom ID’d her as the invader — and the bust was further cemented when they found the incriminating orange snack-food residue still stuck in her teeth, the outlet reported.

Cops think she dropped the bag while making her escape.

“A good reminder that Cheeto dust can be pretty hard to get rid of,” Tusla police wrote on Facebook.

Thief with good taste

A thief swiped an entire cash register — and two bottles of Hennessey — from a Chelsea Italian restaurant early Saturday, and casually strolled out of the eatery with his loot in tow, surveillance video shows.

The thief apparently broke a win- dow at the Chelsea Ristorante Italiano around 7:20 a.m. and then shimmied his way inside.

Video obtained by The Post shows the man fiddling with the register on the counter of the bar, and then snatching the entire machine — which contained $400 — as well as the bottles, before walking out.

Another video shows him strolling out with the register in one arm and a black backpack over the other.

After he walks away, another man can be seen slowing down, and then stopping to stare at the open door to the eatery.

Manager Donny Elezi, 28, of Staten Island, was sleeping when he received a distressed phone call from a chef who had witnessed the burglary.

“Somebody broke in and took the cash register!” the chef told him.

Luckily, the register had been cleared of most of the big bills. The thief got mostly “singles, change for the next day,” Elezi said.

“We have reservations,” he said of the Saturday afternoon brunch rush. “We need to make that $400 back.”

The eatery ultimately opened an hour late on Saturday.

“It’s an old cashier!” he added. “Thirty years, no one has ever stolen [it].”

The suspect, who remains at large, was last seen wearing a black T-shirt, khaki shorts carrying the black backpack, according to police.

A few dollars short of a paycheck

A knucklehead Ohio bank robber slipped a teller a hold-up note — with his name and address scrawled on it, officials said.

Michael Harrell, 54, entered a US Bank branch in Cleveland on Monday and passed the not-so-discreet note, the FBI said.

“When the teller took the note, and looked at it and looked at the other side, she saw his name, he had used a note that he had used earlier at the [Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles] and it had his name on it,” FBI Special Agent Vicki Anderson told news station WIVB.

The teller reportedly complied with his demand and handed Harrell $206 before calling the authorities.

“She actually even referred to him as Michael. Gave him the money and called him Michael and then notified law enforcement,” Anderson said.

Harrell, who was a frequent customer, has been arrested in the robbery, CNN reported. It’s unclear if charges have been filed against him.

(Ray Hibbard may be reached by email at ray@edmondpaper.com)

This

“Four Seasons” in real life is located in front of the Center for Transformative Learning on the University of Central Oklahoma campus, but this week is hidden somewhere in our paper.

Please e-mail contest@edmondpaper.com with the correct location to be entered in the weekly drawing.

Commissioned as a partnership between UCO, the City of Edmond and the Edmond Visual Arts Commission, “Four Seasons” was created by sculptor Kevin Box of New Mexico and was dedicated on the campus on March 24, 2011.

Kevin is a member of the National Sculptor’s Guild. His Box Studio LLC is a strong supporter of the Reduce, Reuse and Recycle concept, using recycled metal as part of the casting process for his sculptures. All of his work is 100 percent recyclable.

For more information on Edmond public art, please visit http://visitedmondok.com/public-art.php.

Publisher Ray Hibbard Jr. ray@edmondpaper.com

Partner Christopher T. Hoke

Editor Steve Gust news@edmondpaper.com

Production Deanne

Edmond PD a big supporter of Special Olympics

One of Edmond’s police vehicles is getting a new look for a great cause. Residents around town will soon glimpse the Edmond Police Department’s newly wrapped Tahoe, highlighting EPD’s long-standing partnership with Special Olympics Oklahoma. In conjunction with the National Special Olympics Law Enforcement Torch Run, the Edmond Police Department raises funds locally year-round for Oklahoma’s Special Olympians. The new wrap featuring three Edmond athletes was unveiled to the public last week. On hand were Special Olympics athletes as well as members of the Edmond PD.

(The following arrest reports are provided by the Edmond Police Department. Guilt or innocence is determined in a court of law. Also, CDS is controlled dangerous substance; APC is Actual Physical Control; DUI is driving under the influence.)

Jan. 9

Noel Lynn Box, 29 of Edmond. Expired tag, one to three months, no proof of insurance and driving while privilege is canceled, suspended, denied or revoked.

Sean William Dozier, 41 of Edmond. Possession of drug paraphernalia and burglary in the second degree.

Tashia Dee Ann Poore, 39 of Edmond. Two counts of failure to appear.

Jan. 10 Clinton Robert, 29 of Edmond. Five counts of failure to appear.

Michael Dale Finley, 52 of Edmond. Misdemeanor warrant.

Jan. 11

Justin D’Lynn White, 32 of Edmond. Misdemeanor warrant.

Syedi Masooma Abedi, 42 homeless. Trespassing after being warned.

Jan. 12

Connor Jacob Ray Jones, 19 of Oklahoma City. Misdemeanor warrant.

Dionte Tarron Anderson, 33 homeless. Failure to appear.

Rashaam Dewayne Briggs, 36 of Oklahoma City. Stop sign violation and driving while privilege is canceled, suspended, denied or revoked.

Sean Armont McCoy, 55 of Oklahoma City. Possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and driving while privilege is canceled, suspended, denied or revoked.

Jan. 13 Charles Derek Hodges, 32 homeless. Trespassing after being warned and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Mary Elizabeth Wilson, 61 of Edmond. Driving (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol content level of .15 of more.

Martin Eugene Johnson 31 of Oklahoma City. Misdemeanor warrant.

Christa Ann Perry, 47 of Edmond. Felony warrant.

Jan. 14

Jacob Peyton Golightly, 23 of Meridian. Public intoxication.

Hayden Wilson Ware, 39 of Yukon. Operate (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol.

Ashton Nathaniel Maze, 24 of Oklahoma City. Non-resisting office and public intoxication.

Curtis James Taylor, 23 of Edmond. Driving while license is canceled, suspended or revoked and operating (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol and any other intoxicating substance.

Zakaria Rifky, 34 of Edmond. Public intoxication, resisting arrest and (misdemeanor) assault on a police or peace officer.

Erika Elaine Heusman, 31 of Oklahoma City. Public intoxication

Sherilyn Gay Voegele, 52 of Edmond. Possession of CDS and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Jan. 15

Osbin Duvenith Alvarez, 19 of Oklahoma City. Operating a motor vehicle without a valid license, operating (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle under the influence of drugs or a combination of schedule one chemical or controlled substance.

Tayvian Leshawn Johnson, 22 of Edmond. Operating (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol level of .15 or more.

William Franklin Stockwell Jr., 34 of Edmond. (Misdemeanor) receiving stolen property.

Joseph Edward Buza Jr., 72 of Edmond. Carrying a weapon under the influence of alcohol or drugs, use of firearm during a felony, possess firearm after the conviction of a felony, pointing a firearm, obstruction of police officer and public intoxication.

Timothy Richard Walter, 37 of Edmond. Misdemeanor warrant and a felony warrant.

Jan. 16

Jeffrey Doyle Cornelison, 27 of Oklahoma City. Four counts of possession of CDS and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Aiden Matthew Ivey, 18 of Edmond. Under 21 operating (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol or other intoxicating sub- stance.

Dalvin Wesley Moore, 29 of Edmond. (Misdemeanor) domestic abuse assault.

Austin Britt Walton, 37 of Edmond. Public intoxication.

Thomas David Horton, 61 of Edmond. Public intoxication.

Scott Allan Harger, 51 of Edmond. Failure to stop – accident involving injury and assault and/or battery with a deadly weapon.

Jan. 17

Thomas David Horton, 61 of Edmond. Assault and battery ( Felony ) on a police officer or correctional staff and felony DUI/APC.

Travis Don Horton, 28 homeless. Non-assault resisting officer, trespassing and public intoxication.

Kimberly Anne Deilami, 54 of Edmond. Felony DUI/APC.

Jan. 18

Rochelle Alexandra Sethman, 27 homeless. Failure to appear.

Barrett Mackenzie McCormick, 32 of Edmond. Felony warrant.

Mathis Michael Alexander, 31 of Edmond. Expired tag over three months and driving while privilege is canceled, suspended, denied or revoked.

Jan. 19

Patrick Craig Collateta, 37 of Oklahoma City. Two counts of possession of CDS and obstruction of a police officer.

Dillan James Watkins, 21 of Oklahoma City. Carrying a weapon under the influence of alcohol or drugs and operating (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol content level of .15 or more.

Horizon Joe Miller, 26 of Edmond. Possession of marijuana and public intoxication.

Rylan Allen Seay, 22 of The Village. Two felony warrants and two misdemeanor warrants.

Heather Ann Gordon, 48 homeless. A misdemeanor warrant and four felony warrants.

Nicholette Sharlene Farlow, 30 of Edmond. Shoplifting.

Jan. 20

Jacquira Deneece Dillard, 31 of Edmond. Misdemeanor warrant.

Rayrodriguez Vinis Bokun, 21 of Edmond. Improper lane usage, driving while privilege is canceled, suspended, denied or revoked, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and failure to appear.

Walter Kinney Gibbs, Jr. , 59 of Edmond. Misdemeanor warrant.

William Mitchell Rosser, 26 homeless. Two counts of obstruction of officer.

Peter David Quackenbush, 67 of Edmond. Distribution of child pornography and aggravated possession of child pornography (100 or more materials.)

Brittney Michelle Mangrum, 33 of Fort Worth, Texas. Public intoxication and failure to appear.

Joseph Wayne Galindo, 40 of Edmond. Disturb the peace, obstruction of an officer, and operate (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol.

Brian Joseph Cloud 31 of Edmond. Misdemeanor warrant and failure to appear.

Ruby Florez, 36 of Edmond. Failure to appear.

Princess Jacklon Nicole Spencer, 21 homeless. Public intoxication.

Gary Allen Maldonado, 51 of Edmond. Public intoxication.

Jeffery Jay Myers, 48 of Enid. Misdemeanor warrant.

Rashid Jamal Sledge, 43 of Rock Hill, SC. Obstruction of police officer, throw human waste at a government employee, assault and battery/battery (felony) on a police officer or correctional staff and public intoxication.

Brandon Allen Thomas, 33 of Edmond. Operate (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle under the influence of anything other than alcohol.

Jan. 21

James Eric Pappano Jr., 20 of Edmond. Operarte (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol level of .08 or more.

Teriael Lamar McDonald, 26 of Edmond. Transporting open container of intoxicating beverage or beer, driving with license canceled, suspended or revoked, and operating ( DUI or APC) a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol and any other intoxicating substance.

Quashonna Norsha Nubine, 31 of Edmond. Misdemeanor warrant and a felony warrant.

Larry Neil Shaw, 69 of Edmond. Possession of CDS and (misdemeanor) domestic abuse assault.

Ryne Alexander Ainsworth, 37 of Edmond. Op- erate (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol.

Dennis Travon Murphy, 31 of Edmond. Trespassing, shoplifting and failure to appear.

Trenton Allen Jordan-Reynolds, 24 of Guthrie. Possess drug paraphernalia and possess CDS.

Jan. 22

Jackson Lee Kinnear, 28 of Edmond. Operate (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol level of .15 or more.

Joe Benjamin Roseshamer, 44 of Edmond. Trespassing after being warned.

Colby Jay Fitzgerald, 21 of Edmond. Driving while license is canceled, suspended, denied or revoked.

Kevin Michael Knez, 50 of Edmond. Felony DUI/APC.

Jan. 23

Anthony Dorien Rainger, 21 of Edmond. Ten counts of failure to appear.

Becky Lee Wykes, 44 of Edmond. (Felony) domestic abuse assault & battery.

Kanda Paulette Ramos Saracho, 47 of Oklahoma City. Driving while privilege is canceled, suspended, denied or revoked and expired tag over three months.

Princess Jacklon Nicole Spencer, 21 homeless. Trespassing after being warned.

Menjivar Yuver Anai Maldonado, 36 of Edmond. Operating (DUI or APC) a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol.

Jan. 24 Shirley Jane Sandoval, 50 of Oklahoma City. (Misdemeanor 1st and 2nd offense) larceny of merchandise from a retailer and possession of CDS.

Cynthia Ann Aguilar, 47 of Oklahoma City. Petit larceny.

Yan-Amont Billy Darianssen, 49 homeless, Two misdemeanor warrants.

Jan. 25

Bernard Tyrone Caldwell, 39 of Edmond. Possession of firearm following a conviction of a felon and murder in the first degree.

Aljon Rashad Lamon Smith, 28 of Luther. Failure to appear and driving while privilege is canceled, suspended, denied or revoked.

Christina Diana Wilson, 41 of Edmond. Petty larceny.

Man is accused of murder

A man was charged with murder in the first degree following an incident last week, Jan. 25.

It happened at Castle Rock road in Edmond

The following is an account of the incident, as provided by the Edmond PD.

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The Edmond Dispatch was contacted by multiple individuals in Florida reporting that their relative living in Edmond had just killed his wife and posted a video on social media.

They said he stated that he planned to kill more people. Officers responded to his known address off Edmond Rd. and Santa Fe Ave., and were not able to make contact with anyone inside. Edmond Police Negotiators, SWAT, and Bomb Squad were called to the scene. SWAT breached the front door with the ram on their rescue vehicle, and the bomb robot was sent in to clear the home, and make contact with anyone inside. Utilizing the robot’s camera speaker, as well as a loud speaker, officers were ultimately able to talk the suspect into coming outside.

Just before 10:30 a.m., 39-year-old Bernard Caldwell surrendered to officers without incident, and was taken into custody. One victim, 48-yearold Demetria Jordan was located inside deceased. This investigation is on-going, and charges are pending.