The Courier 1243

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 6 February 2012 Issue 1243 Free

BORN TO BE BRIGHT FASHION, P.14-15

“It’s just like series one... but worse” Geordie Shore reveal all tv, p.12-13

Racism case adjourned

New Year Tyne bridge jumper believed to be Uni student

student awaits verdict on •Law Collymore Twitter abuse charge

By Wills Robinson News Editor The case against Newcastle student Josh Cryer, who has been accused of racially abusing Stan Collymore on Twitter, has been adjourned until February 14.

The Stage Three Law student was due to appear before Newcastle Magistrates on January 23, but was excused attendance from the hearing as the defence submitted more evidence to their case.

Television crews from regional and national stations were left disappoint-

JOSH CRYER The ex - Barca Law Na captain and Stage Three student will now appear before Newcastle Magistrate on February 14

ed after Cryer’s appearance had been delayed until next week. The student, from Burnley, Lancashire, was originally charged with a Section five racial public order offence and a further public offence, but the charges have since been amended to include just one offence.

The 21-year-old, who currently lives in Jesmond, faces the public order offences following complaints made to police by the ex-footballer and talkSPORT pundit in January. Cryer was arrested after the former Liverpool and England striker reported the alleged abuse to Staffordshire Police, who then passed on the matter to

their counterparts at Northumbria Police headquarters in Ponteland.

According to the Universities’ Disciplinary Procedure, if found guilty, he could face a fine, suspension or even expulsion from the University. The University also holds a no tolerance policy towards racism.

On the night of the alleged Tweet.

Collymore re-tweeted the post to his 170,000 followers, with supporters and fellow footballers doing the same.

It led to Joshua Cryer becoming a ‘trend’ on the micro-blogging site.

Since then his Twitter account has been removed, as well as his Facebook account.

Also, Cryer has been removed from his position as manager of the Intra Mural football team Barca Law Na. The side have chosen not to include their former captain while the case is on-going and his contact information has been removed from the The Centre for Physical Recreation and Sport Intra Mural web page.

Collymore, who was capped three times by England at senior level, campaigns against racism and is also a supporter of the charity Depression Alliance. The ex-Nottingham Forest and Liverpool striker’s position on the Luis Suarez and John Terry cases caused a negative reaction from many of his social media followers.

The charges came whilst a 20-year old man was taken into custody after Oldham player Tom Adeyemi was allegedly abused during his team’s FA cup match against Liverpool.

The police are now also investigating allegedly racist comments made to Newcastle stalwart Shola Ameobi through Facebook.

By Kat Bannon Editor

GETTING HER SKIS ON

Record-breaking Geography student Bryony Balen becomes the youngest person to ski to the South Pole. page 3 Photography: Bryony Balen

A man seen jumping from the Tyne Bridge on New Year’s Eve is believed to have been an international student from Newcastle University.

At approximately 9.40pm on December 31, concerned passers by reported that an individual was seen throwing himself from the Tyne Bridge, just a few hundred yards away from where people were celebrating the New Year.

A police helicopter and fire and rescue boat were launched to search the area through the night and into the following day, but didn’t recover a body. There has been no further The investigation has been linked to the missing person’s search for 21-year-old Marketing and Management student Hasan Albash, from Bahrain. Officers are continuing to make enquiries and liaise with Mr Albash’s family.

This incident was the beginning of a series of Tyne Bridge suicides that occurred during the first week of January.

On January 7 emergency services tried in vain to save a 33-year-old woman who plunged into the Tyne in the early afternoon.

The day previously, on January 6, a 31-year-old man also fell from the bridge. After extensive searches his body was recovered last Tuesday 31.

This incident follows the death of an international student who fell from Claremont Tower during the first week in December soon after midday.

In 2007, Samiratans placed signs on the Tyne Bridge with a number for those with suicidal thoughts to seek help. The scheme was only meant to last a year, but a fall in suicides from the bridge has meant the that the signs have remained.

News

2

Monday 6 February 2012

News Editors: Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor: Helen Lam courier.news@ncl.ac.uk

thecourieronline.co.uk/news

NEWS

RESIT CHANGE

6 8

Uni proposes lowering the number of attempts per student

BOOK STORED

Library moves books into storage to make more desk space

COMMENT

10 11 SPORT

THE BIG DEBATE Should we be allowed to smack our children?

THE FAMOUS FIVE

Emily Rae explains the news that made her

40 40

SMASHING YEAR A look ahead to what could happen on the court in 2012

SPOT THE BALL

Win a £5 voucher in Sport’s new competition

The Courier

Fancy dress and freezing temperatures: Volunteers come out in force for charity

By Clare Atkinson Newcastle University has just seen another very successful RAG Week come to a close with the total amount of money being raised so far standing over £7000.

Street collections and various events meant that over £1000 was raised every day, with the final total of the week to be raised on Monday The RAG acronym stands for ‘Raising and Giving’ and generates funds for charities nominated by the organisers. This year, there were six local recipient charities: Centre Point North East, Sara’s Hope Foundation, Make A Wish Foundation, Breakthrough Breast Cancer, Papyrus and Student Community Action Newcastle.

The charities vary hugely, with Centre Point helping the homeless, Papyrus working to prevent suicide amongst young people and Sara’s Hope Foundation providing respite care for sufferers and carers for children with cancer.

The RAG committee has put on a series of events throughout the last week raising as much money as possible for the six charities.

Daytime events have included a clothes swap, and an event called “Touch it” that took place outside the Union on Wednesday afternoon.

Evening events run by RAG saw: a variety show, with acts ranging from pole-dancing to folk music, an 80’s themed roller disco which was attended by hundreds of students and an ‘Olympics’ in which sports teams participated in old school style sports day races, with the Rowing Team emerging victorious. The Students’ Union’s very own Saturday club night, CCTV, run by RAG sponsors Uni-X Events, also contributed to the worthwhile cause.

Various events meant that over £1000 was raised every day In what was the busiest CCTV of the year, one pound was donated by Uni-X Events to RAG for every one

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

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person through the door, totalling £1400 for the charities.

In addition to the events, there have been RAG Crew and Supervisors out on the streets of Newcastle armed with collecting buckets, whilst donning a variety of fancy dress themes, collecting donations from the public. The street collections have been hugely successful this year, with the first day of collecting alone bringing in almost £1500 and the second day reaching almost £1000.

A street collecThe street collections have tion for a separate charity, Clic been hugely Sergeant, was successful also held at Centhis year with tral Station on the first day of Wednesday and around collecting alone raised £350. bringing in RAG Commitaround £1500 tee member Sally Priddle said: “The week was great fun. Everyone looked awesome in their fancy dress and it was really touching to see everyone in town and around the Union donating to the cause. The nights were amazing too.

“Loads of people turned up, with my personal favourite being the Roller Disco, as I got to show-off my best lycra.”

The hungrier students also had a chance to win a giant subway. For 10p, contestants had to guess how many jalapenos, olives and cucumbers were in the entire sandwich.

NSR (Newcastle Student Radio) also raised over £400 with a 24-hour radio show, giving away gig tickets and a night in one of Tiger Tigers karaoke booths in competitions throughout the day and night.

RAG is still in the process of organising upcoming events later on in the year, including a silent disco and the chance to climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

One of the highlights of RAG will be the return of last year’s hugely successful Jail Break, which will see students aiming to get as far away as possible from the University in 36 hours.

Previous attempts have seen participants reach places as far flung as the likes of Canada and South Africa.

For further information on any of RAGs upcoming events, be sure to check out nusu.co.uk/rag

Editor Kat Bannon Deputy Editor Elliot Bentley News Editors Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor Helen Lam Politics Correspondent Bethany Staunton Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor Jack Torrance C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson Lifestyle Editors Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Lifestyle Editor Emma Balter Fashion Editor Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor Rosanna Sopp Arts Editors Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor Lisa Bernhardt Film Editor Chris Binding Online Film Editor Hayley Hamilton Music Editors Ben Travis, Chris Scott Online Music Editor Graham Matthews Science Editor Mark Atwill Online Science Editor Shaun Butcher TV Editors Sophia Fairhead and Nicole Stevenson Sports Editors Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Baron Online Sports Editors Grace Harvey and Charlie Scott Design Editors Gabe Mason and Tom O’Boyle Copy Editors Sarah Collings, Rachael Day, Dave Dodds, Grace Marconi, Rebecca Markham, Charley Monteith, Adam Rummens, Alice Sewell, Marleen van Os, Emily Wheeler

The Courier is printed by: Harmsworth Printing Limited, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby, DE1 2DW. Tel: 01332 253013.

Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

Monday 6 February 2012

RAG Week huge success

A series of events and collections raise over £8000 for good causes

news.3

Pole position: record breaking Bryony

By Kat Bannon Editor Continued from front page

ALL IN THE NAME OF CHARITY

Crew take to the streets. The pole dancing society give a more than impressive performance in the RAG Variety Show, while the Comedy Society’s Charle Rowley demonstrates his infamous ‘condom up the nose and out of the mouth’ party trick. Subway ran a competition to win a 6ft sub.

‘Human hurdles’ were one of the many events at the RAG Olympics Photography: Hannah Fisher

Who had the golden touch?

Contenders held on to a car for as long as possible to win a trip of a lifetime

By Helen Lam Online News Editor Whilst most common sensed people would be wrapped up warm indoors when facing temperatures of -4C, nine enthusiastic Newcastle students began the ‘’Touch-it” challenge outside of Newcastle Universities’ Student Union last Wednesday, all in aid of RAG week.

The charity event, sponsored by Student Adventures, gave students the chance to win a car and two places on the trip of a lifetime, Bratislava or Bust, which is a student charity rally.

The race travels through seven different countries in seven days with challenges and parties along the way.

In order to win this incredible prize the students had to keep one hand firmly placed on a car at all times, however it was never going to be as easy as it first appeared. With the plummeting temperatures not being challenging enough, the competitors also had to complete tasks through the duration of the challenge, such as squatting for fifteen minutes, one arm press ups, hopping and getting five friends down to support them as quickly as possible.

First year student, Calum Day, came prepared for the event with red bull and cookies at hand, however a more relaxed attitude was taken by Media student, Jakey Massey and his friends, who whilst dressed in Onesies had only a bottle of Bells Whisky to get them through the task after stating that “in my first year, touching a car comes first, lectures second.”

Speaking to The Courier, the all male

competitors gave varied reasons for why they decided to take part in the event. They ranged from Alex Cains obvious explanation that “because you get to win a car and the rally sounds pretty cool,” to the more obscure reason from Danny Homen’s “my mother doesn’t love me” and “because a hot girl came and asked me” from the eventual winner Ben Burns.

All students were allowed to take a five-minute break for welfare purposes every hour; however this proved to be an error for one competitor, who mistimed a phone call and as such was disqualified. Other competitors who failed to stay stuck for the long haul were lured away by the prospect of chips and a sacrificial trip to the bar. A sub-

The race travels through seven different countries in seven days

conscious slap on the car roof also saw one student out of the running at six hours and fifteen minutes.

After an impressive 9hours and 50 minutes, Bens Burns was finally decided upon as the winner and this summer will be embarking upon the experience of a lifetime travelling across Europe, with a further chance of winning £2000 competing in challenges throughout the rally.

PLAYING THE WAITING GAME Whiskey, cookies and Red Bull were the favourites for those brave enough to face the freezing temperatures for a place on the rally Photography: Hannah Fisher

Last month Newcastle University student Bryony Balen was announced a record breaker – by becoming the youngest Briton to ski the full distance to the South Pole.

Bryony, who is studying Geography and to begin her final undergraduate year in September, skied 705 miles (1,100km), from the coast to the pole.

Taking three and a half years to plan, or, in her words “a quarter of her lifetime”, the trip began on November 25, and finished at the pole on January 20, when she reaching the landmark at about 7.30pm local time.

Bryony undertook a gruelling training regime prior to her departure. It included tyre lifting, specialist diets and participating in the Uni’s men’s rowing team’s notoriously brutal fitness programme.

Therefore, it may not come as a surprise that she found the trip as a whole “not as bad” as she presumed it would be: “Because I had such a long time for the training, I don’t want to say I was over prepared - I don’t think you can be over prepared for something like this - but I felt really good when I got out there.

“The tyres [those she trained with before leaving on the expedition] were an awful lot harder to be dragging around than my sledges were!”

Skiing for eight hours a day Bryony was also pulling a sled with a 60kg bag on her back containing food, equipment and a tent.

She also celebrated her 21st birthday during the adventure.

The idea of the trip came about in December 2008.

“I just thought at some point in my life going to the South Pole would be amazing.

“I was joking around with a friend on the way up Mount Blanc when I was 17 and he just said ‘Yep, go to the South Pole, and when you’re a guide and you get paid to do that sort of thing you can take me back on a discount’.

“So the idea just didn’t really go away, especially after realising it could all be possible” Now back on less snowy ground, being back at home has been “surreal”.

“I was coming back home and you know, tables and chairs and showers!

“It doesn’t feel like I’ve been away for two months - you know, time has just flown by for me, but I think my Mum thinks it felt about two years.

Bryony is also extremely grateful for all the expressions of support and general well-wishings she has received.

“The support from everyone – I’ve got so many messages on the website and my facebook from Newcastle students - it’s been wonderful. Really lovely.”

Bryony is hoping to return to Newcastle in the next week and remain in the area for the time being.

4.news

Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

Newcastle East MP says scrap Trident to reduce uni fees

News Editors George Sandeman and Wills Robinson sat down with the long serving Labour politician to discuss tuition fees, Scottish independence and bankers’ bonuses

EXCLUSIVE

In an exclusive interview Nick Brown MP revealed to The Courier his proposal of lowering tuition fees by scrapping the renewal of the Trident nuclear deterrent.

The Newcastle upon Tyne East MP favoured reducing the annual fee contribution to £4,000, which is at odds with official Labour policy.

Opposition Leader Ed Miliband believes a tuition fee contribution of £6,000 per annum is acceptable but Brown, who has been in office since 1983, believes the Trident money can

be used elsewhere.

Citing the United Kingdom’s membership of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) he argued that this made justifications for Trident’s renewal redundant.

The nuclear missile project has been estimated by the Government to cost between £15bn and £20bn whilst environmental group Greenpeace have put the figure at £34bn.

The increase in the tuition fee contribution came about as a result of the Government pursuing a programme of austerity to deal with the country’s budget deficit. As part of this policy they reduced the higher education

budget by 40% from £7.1bn to £4.2bn meaning the shortfall would have to be covered by increased fees.

Brown, who was awarded the freedom of the city of Newcastle in 2001, also touched on several other hot button issues. Speaking on the £970,00 bonus in shares that could have been given to the CEO of the Royal Bank of Scotland, Stephen Hester, who is paid an annual salary of £1.2m, Brown said: “I don’t understand it at all. It’s more than some people earn in a lifetime and seems disproportionate to what happens in the rest of the world.”

However, Brown did warn that there could be negative repercussions if

Nick Brown standing in front of the city he has served as a Parliamentarian since 1983 during wh

The Courier

news.5

Monday 6 February 2012

Head of State.

The Labour backbencher also discussed the concept of ‘Boris Island’, a proposed international airport based in the Thames Estuary, and revealed

Ralph Miliband.

Having entered the House of Commons in 1983, along with Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, he recalled his fondness for his time as Chief Whip

considering the forthcoming constituency boundary changes which will take away three seats from the region.

Brown also discussed the issue of House of Lords reform and its present

Describe to me the circumstances in which the United Kingdom, independently of the rest of NATO and the United States [of America], would use a nuclear deterrent?

hich he has been Chief Whip and Minister for the North East Photography: Nick Brown MP

Hester was not retained to continue his work, stating that civil servants may not possess the required skills to do the highly specialised job.

Brown, a former union worker on Tyneside, also advocated the concept of greater transparency in the remuneration committees that determine executive pay in top companies.

The 61-year-old MP also talked about the forthcoming Olympics and the impact it will have on the North East. With the outstanding sports facilities in Tyneside, and the wider North East, the MP hopes athletes and visitors alike will make use of the surroundings; to the benefit of the local economy.

Having served as Minister for the North East in Government for two and a half years, Brown was keen to project his vision of the region’s longterm economic future.

He placed much emphasis on the need for economic growth through the private sector to create a wider spread and deeper number of jobs. He added that, although the public sector and public service were important, the future for job growth in the region was the private sector. The former Chief Whip pointed to the Nissan car and battery plant in Sunderland and the redevelopment of the steel industry in Teesside as examples of what the North East’s economy was capable of.

Describing the region’s best qualities to attract inward investment, the 28year tenured MP pointed out how the discretionary income goes further in the area due to the lower fixed costs of living, the high standard of living and “the fantastic people.”

The former Minister for Work also addressed the issue of Scottish Independence saying that, although he was a moderate Unionist, he believed the Scots had the right to self-determination on the issue.

He expanded by saying he favoured different models of devolution for different regions of the UK, suggesting he might back the idea of ‘devo-max’

for the Scottish people. ‘Devolution max’ would give the Scottish Parliament full tax and spend powers over Scots and is likely to be included as a secondary question in the independence referendum.

The independence issue continues to polarise many Scots with those in business split on the issue. Ultimo boss Michelle Mone says she would move her business to London if the Scots became independent, whilst industrialist Jim McColl believes a stronger Scotland would emerge from self-autonomy.

Regarding the forthcoming Dia-

There is always room to share mineral explorations, that is not the same issue as sovereignty mond Jubilee to mark 60 years of the Queen’s reign, the former Minister for Agriculture, Fisheries and Food dismissed the idea of a publicly-funded Royal Yacht to commemorate the occasion. He posed the question: “At her time of life how much time is he going to spend on it?”

Brown further queried if luxury gifts in general were an appropriate way to celebrate the birthday of the country’s second longest tenured monarch, saying such items weren’t “quite in the spirit of the age.”

He also suggested that there were more appropriate ways to celebrate the monarchy, such as health and education infrastructures, that could be incorporated into and celebrated by the wider Commonwealth. He said such projects would be an “enduring symbol of altruistic friendship” in honour of the Queen’s lengthy duty as

that it had been a proposal previously considered when Labour were in power. He condemned the project as being too costly and not environmentally friendly given the alternative options of expanding other Londonsurrounding airports such as Heathrow, Gatwick or even Stansted in East Anglia.

Incumbent London Mayor Boris Johnson is running against predecessor Ken Livingstone and recently announced the prospect of the offshore airport in the Thames Estuary. Extra runways are seen as being critical to London’s long-term economic prosperity given that Frankfurt Airport in Germany and Charles de Gaulle Airport in France have four whilst Heathrow has two despite it being the busiest airport of the three.

A patron of the Leeds Youth Opera, Brown also discussed the benefits cap proposed by the Government and later objected to by the House of Lords.

Brown admitted that the Labour party had got itself into a muddle over what its exact position on the issue was, but disclosed that he was of the opinion that child and disability benefits should be universal.

However, he stated that there was “something to the argument” of capping housing benefit given the regional differences in the cost of housing within the UK. Addressing the issue of the sovereignty over the Falkland Islands he distinguished between the rights of the Islanders to self-determination and the oil resources upon which Las Islas Malvinas, if you’re Argentinian, sit. He said that as long as the Islanders wanted to remain British, they should be able to, but that there could be negotiations with Argentina over potential oil rights.

The MP also commented on the new expenses system for MPs saying that, although it was more restrictive, it was “the right thing to do” as they [the MPs] had “brought it on their own heads.” He also pointed out that, because it was a receipt based system, it had left many MPs out of pocket and that a division had emerged between the wealthy and not so wealthy members of the legislature where the former had an advantage in using the new system over the latter. However, he did humorously make clear that these difficulties weren’t “a bid for sympathy.”

Speaking on the current performance of Labour’s leader Ed Miliband he dismissed polling within the last month, which showed the Conservatives ahead of Labour, as a “rag.” He defended the former Energy and Climate Change It really does Secretary, saylook as if, those ing: “he was fundament ally that can, are onto something” rewarding the themselves at regarding concept of ethithe expense of cal and unethical shareholders capitalism and and customers the idea of the ‘squeezed middle.’

He also emphasized the need for the rest of the Labour members to “pull together” and support the younger son of prominent left-wing academic

and the communal feeling of having to “put the Labour Party right” under the leadership of John Smith. He also spoke of how he supported Gordon Brown for the party leadership after Smith’s premature death and played down the oft talked-of rivalry between Tony Blair and Gordon Brown saying that “history was being rewritten with hindsight.”

Now a wellknown backbench MP, he [On the functalked of the tion of the greater freedom position House of Lords] the brings, compared To advise sitting on the and revise, to to front benches, delay but not saying he was to thwart the further able to House of Com- advance the arguments for mons “what he had always believed to be right.” However, he did warn that the position should not be abused by using it for “self-indulgent purposes.”

With Brown turning 62 in June he was asked if he intended to continue his political career beyond the next election in 2015. He said he would still be running for public office but revealed he wasn’t sure for which seat

revisory role. He admitted that he’d “thought long and hard” about the issue and that he differed in opinion to the Labour leadership, and perhaps majority public opinion, in that he did not believe there should be a second elected chamber.

He favours continuing the reforms brought in by Tony Blair and believes a second chamber could best serve the country by continuing to appoint individuals of expertise with a function to “advise and revise, to delay but not to thwart” the House of Commons.

He also revealed that he was against possible reforms to the electoral system that would see members of the House of Commons elected by Proportional Representation (PR) rather than the current First Past the Post system (FPTP).

He explained his affinity for FPTP saying it provided a valuable individual connection between a representative and regionalised minority communities that otherwise would not be heard.

He talked of industries specific to the North East such as that the coal mining and ship building communities whose voices would be “lost-off ” in a PR system.

The MP stands in front of 10 Downing Street where, during his time in Government, he served as Chief Whip and Minister for the North East. Photography: Nick Brown MP

6.news

Monday 6 February 2012

Multiple resits policy for undergraduates reviewed

By George Sandeman News Editor The University has issued a consultation paper discussing the prospect of reducing the number of resit attempts for undergraduate students from two to one.

Such a move would bring the University in line with other Russell Group institutions that offer just one resit for undergraduates, such as Bristol, Manchester and Sheffield.

Justifications for limiting resits include not keeping students at The prospect University when it may not be in of only one their best interresit will give ests as they run students up debt through greater incen- housing and tuitive to pass tion costs.

It is also the first time thought that the around and of only may improve prospect one resit will performance give students greater incentive to pass the first time round and may improve performance. Second resits can also put a strain on academic resources when a module has drastically

changed or is no longer being taught.

The current policy of two resits is disadvantageous for international students who cannot study part-time due to visa restrictions and therefore cannot exercise their right to a second resit without being in full-time attendance.

Postgraduates at the University studying taught degrees already have restrictions upon their resits with a limit to 40 credits in a year and only one attempt at each exam.

The official consultation, open to students and staff, will deliberate over the following questions: Firstly, the number of resits attempts of an exam permitted for undergraduates.

Secondly, the limit to the number of credits that can be resat in an academic year.

Thirdly, should the current situation continue where an undergraduate failing a module in their final stage can only resit if they have failed to attain an honours degree.

Fourthly, should the University require students to retake the tuition, as well as the examination of a module, and whether this should be for all modules.

Fifthly, what should the timescale be in implementing such changes.

Of the University’s competitors only Leeds, LSE, Glasgow and Edinburgh offer multiple resit attempts to undergraduates. Indeed, Edinburgh allows three resits per exam for undergraduates whilst Glasgow is the only one of

Such a move would bring the University in line with other Russell Group institutions the group not to charge students for resits attempts.

However, Oxford, Birmingham and Bristol do allow a third resit if the undergraduate remains a fee-paying student. Therefore, the right to a resit is only usually open to undergraduates failing modules in their first and second stages of their degree.

Students and staff are invited to contribute their views to the process up to February 29 and can contact Simon.

Pallett@ncl.ac.uk

The Courier

Academic degrees aren’t about playing hard and resitting later

YES

JAKE UNSWORTH COMMENT

I

n my opinion our University, and the Russell Group in general, is right to pursue a limit on the number of resits students can take. The number of students who take several resits has been growing in recent years but still represents an extremely small minority.

It is however, a growing issue which is costly and impinges on the University’s image.

In hard economic times both of these matters are problematic. In particular the perception of the University, and the Russell Group, is vital to the employment prospects of graduates. Increasingly degrees are ranked by employers more on the basis of the institution rather than the course itself.

For example, John Lewis last year employed 260 people on their graduate recruitment programme. Of those, 180 had degrees from Rus-

sell Group Universities and only 18 of those accepted went to universities outside of the Top 20. However, there was a wide variety of degrees with graduates of both the arts and sciences succeeding in almost equal measure. This clearly shows that to large graduate employers, the institution is more important than content of the degree. To large graduate employers a degree is evidence that someone is skilled and hard working and by restricting the number of resits the university accentuates both these things.

By changing its resit policy Newcastle will improve its image amongst its Russell Group competitors; which is surely beneficial for the overwhelming majority of students. It shows that a degree from Newcastle is the result of hard-work and long nights in the library during exam time, not just constant nights out leading to repeated failing before eventually scraping 40 marks by the skin of your teeth.

Whilst a vast minority students may find these changes cause some inconvenience, the majority of Newcastle students, who do work hard and don’t fail modules repeatedly, will be able to profit from the improved employee perceptions.

University reputation shouldn’t come before NO student welfare MORGAN ARYE COMMENT

A

handful of students will be quite distressed at the latest attempts to improve the University’s high quality of education, which come in the form of plans to reduce the number of resits to just one.

I agree that some students come to university to please parents, friends or teachers and take for granted the opportunity they have and develop an attitude of work hard but play a lot harder.

If a student is not committed to their degree and does not want to put the work in then nothing, not even the reduction in resits will make them take university seriously.

I think it then puts those who are conscientious, and despite all their efforts let the pressure get to them when essays and deadlines loom, at a disadvantage.

The idea of resits is a comfort and while the reduction will push some people harder to succeed, psychologically it might have the opposite effect on others.

It is also understandable if the University is trying to make current and prospective students and their parents feel like they are getting their £9000 worth of education by clamping down on resits and bring standards up.

However, I do not see it working as tuition fees are expensive and will being stricter in terms of assessment really get rid of the aversion to debt people If anything, the have?

University is los- If anything ing out by mak- the university losing out ing it harder for is by making it people to con- harder for peotinue with their ple to continue with their course after failing just one course after just one exam a couple failing exam a couple of times of times.

It is putting its reputation before student welfare, which is surely wrong.

Resits are only applicable to a handful of students anyway because many do not want to give up their Summer holidays to revise therefore, as the old adage goes ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’.

The Courier

news.7

Monday 6 February 2012

Mancunians too challenging for Uni

By Talya Ventura Lawrence Last Monday’s episode of University Challenge saw Newcastle defeated by Manchester in a battle for a place in the semi-finals of the revered game show.

Manchester and Newcastle found themselves competing against each other after losing against other Universities in the previous quarter-final matches.

However, after only five minutes of the show, the contestants from the North East had their backs against the wall facing a 50 point deficit in the scoreline.

Medical student Eleanor Turner from London captained the cohort representing the Tynesiders. She was joined by fellow medic Nicholas Pang from Malaysia, Ben Dunbar from Heywood in Greater Manchester, a postgraduate student of Public Health and Health Service Research, and Ross Dent from Chester-le-Street in County Durham, an Economics student.

At the half-way point the Tynesider’s luck didn’t change and faced a mountainous 120 point difference to the score of the romping Mancunians.

Things only got worse as the match progressed as they trailed by 215 points with the match winding down whilst still remaining on 40 points.

Despite their buzzer-happy Manchester rival’s high scores throughout the game the Newcastle quartet displayed dogged determination and commitment to the cause. In the dying minutes they gallantly battled to 95 points versus Manchester’s 330 to cap off, what was ultimately a defeat, with a brave final flourish.

SLOW OFF THE MARK

The Tyneside quartet never really got going in their match against the opposition from Manchester and by the time they hit their stride it was all too little too late Photography: BBC

Third-years upset by exam errors

By Jenni Cannon

A stage three Chemistry paper and a stage three Computer Science paper were significantly disrupted during this years exam period because of errors on behalf of the University.

An error in a Stage 3 Chemistry paper was found only when students had already begun to sit the exam and had to be amended within the exam hall.

The mistake was found around 45 minutes into the exam and a further half an hour was spent by invigilators on the phone trying to discover the correct information to give the students, adding additional distraction.

The students were given an additional half an hour to complete the paper to compensate for this but one student who was affected said that several of their peers were “upset” by the proceedings and deemed the solution unfair.

They told The Courier: “It was our hardest exam… the question was the one which was guaranteed to come up, so a lot of people went to it first and couldn’t do it.” Whether or not the event would be taken into account when marking the papers was not specified but many students felt that their performance was affected in a

crucial third year exam.

Similar disruptions occurred in a 3rd year Computer Science paper.

Around 20 minutes into the exam the computer system crashed and students had to wait for half an hour while the system restarted. However, after the wait, they were told that nothing could be done and they would have to redo the exam on another occasion.

The exam was rescheduled for the final day of the exam period and a new paper was written, one which many students deemed to be much harder than the original paper they had been sitting. When asked how the disruptions affected performance, a Computer Science student said that students were forced to restart their preparations and change revision timetables for the new exam, which they felt put them at a further disadvantage. No extra time or other concessions were given for this change and some students felt they did not do as well as they could have had the first exam gone ahead as planned.

It is unclear whether such problems will be taken into account during marking but students remain concerned that their performance could be damaged affecting their overall grades at a degree stage that constitutes part of their degree classification.

Thinktank finds decrease Peeping Tom in degree offers in maths found in and other science subjects Ricky Road

By Lisa Bernhardt

A report on the institutional diversity of British universities has shown significant changes in the subject areas being offered.

According to the findings made between 1996 and 2010 by the Higher Education Policy Institute, the number of institutions providing courses such as Media Studies, English and Drama has considerably grown whereas less universities and colleges offer science and technology subjects.

Media studies and Journalism are amongst the courses with the highest increase with a respective rise of 200% (from 37 to 111 institutions) and 325% (from 16 to 68 institutions). The report has also documented a growing number of courses in Performing and Creative Arts, English, Politics and Architecture.

In contrast, fewer higher education institutions offer degrees in Physical Sciences and Engineering; the number of Chemistry courses dropped by 20%, being taught by 66 instead of 83 institutions, with a 32% for Physics, a decrease from 69 to 47 institutions.

Furthermore, the overall supply of subjects related to Physical Sciences and Technology rose only slightly in comparison to the marked increases

in Humanities and Social Sciences.

As these striking changes coincide with the changes in the amount of applicants for certain subjects, the report concludes that most universities and colleges orientate the range of courses they offer on student demands. It is, thus, surprising that Mathematics is the only subject offered by fewer institutions despite application numbers having grown by 87%.

The findings have raised further concerns about the extent to which universities try to cater to students’ demands instead of the UK’s labour market and economic needs.

In an article in The Guardian, Chris McGovern, chairman of the pressure group Campaign for Real Education, warned that “the economic consequences of moving towards media studies and away from Maths and Science will be dire economically”.

Moreover, he claimed that the increased demand of Media Studies degrees is related to the ‘soft’ curriculum in schools. Speaking to The Telegraph, he criticised schools for attempting to enhance their league table rankings by encouraging students to take ‘soft subjects’ which he called “a huge problem and disastrous in some areas such as languages and the sciences” which is “damaging the country”.

By Wills Robinson News Editor A 14 year-old male was reprimanded in Richardson Road on Sunday night after he was found ‘peeping’ in on the showers from the fire escapes at the side of a block.

Two security guards chased the suspect through the Ricky Road accommodation site, one on foot and one in a designated University van.

He was eventually caught by the reception building and was detained until police arrived on the scene. The male, who is believed to have been spotted on CCTV cameras in the area before, was then taken home to his parents in the back of a police car and issued a formal warning.

A witness to the chase said; “I saw this guy in a dark jacket come out og no where chased by someone in a high vis jacket. I didn’t really know what was going on.”His capture gives credit to the work of Estates and Security Service as well as the effectiveness of the extensive CCTV system that has been installed around the site.

The situation came at the beginning of a Carnage night, which normally presents some problems for the security. However, very few issues arose during the evening, meaning that staff had a rare quiet night.

8.news

Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

Robbo Library sacrifices little used books for more desk space

By George Sandeman News Editor

The University has started to implement plans to move some books out of the Robinson Library to external stores in order to create more desk space.

In conjunction with the new policy of twenty-four hour openings during term time the University has justified the plans on the basis of meeting student demand; particularly during exam season. Statistics released by the University show that as many as 800 people were using the Library at midnight during the Summer exam season in 2011.

University Librarian Wayne Connolly was keen to emphasise that the material was still highly accessible with students being able to request books and receive

Plans include the addition of more plug points to cater for students with laptops in the library them in a twenty-four hour period.

In addition, he said that students had the option of being taken to these external stores where they could have full access to the materials and utilize the available office space at these locations.

Mr Connolly, who is also the Keeper of the Pybus Collection in the Old Library Building, stressed that the movement of the books had been done in consultation with the relevant schools and that only books that had not been take out within the last five years were being moved to stores.

There were also exceptions with books on departmental reading lists not relocated and that journals that had been moved were now available as electronic copies upon request.

He added that part of the plans to increase desk space included the addition of more plug points to cater for students with laptops in the library.

However, there has been opposition to the plans from some students and staff with the Politics Society starting a petition against the plans. In cooperation with the History Society they have collected 173 signatures with the main

RELOCATION, RELOCATION, RELOCATION

The moved books are now kept in these four metre tall, high density shelving units in stores around the city such as this one in Gateshead Photography: Robinson Library point of contention being the adverse effect decreased resources will have on the academic output of students.

Speaking to The Courier President of the Politics Society, Luke Henman, was keen to point out the extensive cooperation the students had received from the library saying: “The library has been very positive about our petition as I think it chimes with their attempts to get

The University owns multiple off-site stores that house their extensive collection of books and journals as well as precious documents Photography: Robinson Library

student input on the process.”

Some faculty members have expressed concern and displeasure at the plans with former Classics Lecturer Peter V. Jones condemning the actions.

In his weekly column in The Spectator magazine he labelled the transformation as “shelf hatred.” The Classicist, who was a graduate of Cambridge University before he started his teaching career at Newcastle, commented on the shift of academic work to external stores.

“Forget, if you can, the paradox that a library should create more space by removing books.

Forget, if Instead, ask you can, the ‘which books?’ paradox that a The answer laid library should bare the full extent of the managecreate more ment’s trahison space by redes clercs: it was moving books. celebrating its triumph in removInstead, ask from arts and ‘which books?’ ing, sciences alike, the complete runs of virtually all the academic journals, the central research tool for academics in the humanities and the goal of all committed students. And management was actually boasting about it! They should be grovelling in shame.”

24 hour access not necessarily a good thing RALPH BLACKBURN COMMENT

T

his term, for the first time, the Robinson Library will continue to remain open twenty-four hours a day throughout the academic Semester.

Anybody that visited the library, after midnight, during the exam period would have seen vast numbers of students making the most of the twenty-four hour access.

However, during normal term time, when the workload is not as high, twenty-four hour access may actually be detrimental to students’ productivity.

Typing frantically into the early

hours of the morning, in a caffeinated haze, is clearly not a sustainable working habit in the long-term.

Indeed, it isn’t sustainable in the world of work where productive hours usually lie between 9 and 5.

Similarly, encouraging students to study past twelve during the term will not necessarily improve the standard of their academic work. A paragraph typed late at night often ends up as illegible sludge.

Learning in the early hours of the morning can often feel like reading gobbledygook, underlining Government directives that ban working at night for more than eight hours within a twenty-four hour period. To put it bluntly, regularly working that late simply is not healthy.

Whilst the library coffee machine sales may sore, in the wake of the new opening hours, it appears unlikely that marks will respond in the same way.

The Courier

national.news.9

Monday 6 February 2012

15,000 uni places axed

By David Hiscocks The Coalition Government have announced that, from September 2012, 15,000 places will be cut from English universities.

Last year 386,000 places were offered in English universities to UK and EU students. This cut in places amounts to a 3.8% reduction in the total number available. This is despite an increase in the education budget from £9.31 billion to £9.46 billion in 2012-13.

In 2010 and 2011, universities were allowed to recruit 10,000 extra students to cope with the demands made by the recession; plus 5000 in a longer term policy to cope with over-recruitment.

The reason for the slashing of these places is apparently down to the fact that these extra places “exposes Government to higher than budgeted costs which cannot be absorbed at a

Job Title: Scientific Report Writing Assistant Employer: Newcastle Work Experience- Enviresearch Closing date: 12.02.12 Salary: £600 upon completion of placement Basic job description: Reviewing quality assurance of scientific reports- The role will involve reading reports, checking the integrity of the data presented before they are forwarded to the client. For each document reviewed, a statement of which tables have been checked and the traceability of the values within the tables will be required.

Person requirements: The ideal candidate will be highly numerate, methodical, meticulous and conscientious. You must have a strong understanding of science and a high level of literacy is desirable, as are excellent communication skills.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Invigilators Employer: Newcastle City Council Closing date: 09.12.12 Salary: £6.29 per hour plus 12.3% leave allowance Basic job description: We are looking to increase our team of Invigilators who will be given the opportunity of casual work on a regular basis during the academic year to invigilate external and internal examinations at Gosforth Academy.

Person requirements: N/A Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Sales Assistant Employer: Streetcred.Biz Closing date: 14.02.12 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: Sales Assistant required to work 20 hours per week in Streetcred, Metrocentre. The store sells music inspired fashion & merchandise. Duties will include liaising with customers, stock replenishment, cash handling, merchandising, meeting targets & other general store duties.

Person requirements: Previous retail experience is essential, along with good customer service, communication and numeracy skills. Must be able to work alone when required.

Location: Gateshead.

time of financial constraint”. There is a need, according to David Willetts, the Universities and Science Minister, to reduce costs; which means reducing student numbers.

The slash in numbers has outraged student leaders and the Opposition.

Liam Burns, President of the National Union of Students, said that the Government has “extinguished hope for many prospective students and set back economic recovery in the process”; a sentiment seconded by Labour party representative Shabana

DAVID WILLETTS The Universities and Science Minister has been the Coalition Government’s public face of reducing the higher education budget and rising fees

Job Title: Cosmopolitan Campaign Manager Employer: Cosmopolitan Magazine Closing date: 10.02.12 Salary: £7.00 per hour Basic job description: Cosmopolitan Magazine is looking for hardworking students to become a campaign manager for their university. In February Cosmo will be hitting the road and visiting universities up and down the country looking for lively students who want to be involved in the road shows!

Person requirements: You need to be confident, approachable and fun and happy to take the initiative to make sure Cosmo gets into the hands of as many students as possible!

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Receptionist/Leisure Attendants and Level 2 Trampoline Coaches Employer: Newcastle City Council Closing date: 06.02.12 Salary: £7.79- £14.43 per hour Basic job description: We are seeking enthusiastic and dedicated people to join our team to assist in the delivery of a first class leisure service. Typical duties will include setting up equipment, leading activities, selling memberships, cash handling, customer care, opening and closing buildings, complaint handling and general cleaning duties.

The successful applicants will be required to work on a casual basis to cover a variety of shifts including evenings and weekends.

Person requirements: Candidates with recognised qualifications and experience in any of the following are particularly encouraged to apply: First Aid at Work, Reception/Cash handling, Level 2 Gym Instructor and Level 2 trampoline coach.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Casual Night Receptionist Employer: Sandman Hotels Closing date: 16.02.12 Salary: Exceeds NMW Basic job description: Casual Night Receptionist is required to work on an ‘as and when required’ basis. Your main duties will include checking-in and checking-out guests, answering all guest enquiries through telephone or face to face, assisting

Mahmood.

By denying potential students the opportunity to increase their skill set, the government appears to be making it even harder for them to find a job during the current recession where jobs seem hard to find. This is borne out by the stat 22% of the UK’s youth are currently unemployed.

Given that the cap on student tuition fees has been lifted, allowing universities to charge up to £9000 (which many have chosen to do, despite government assurances to the contrary); some would not expect student places to be cut in addition to this rise in fees.

The fee increase has been justified as a way to solve the Higher Education funding crisis.

For members of the public, like the NUS and Labour, they have doubts about David Cameron’s assurances that he is not trying to make going to university just an option available to our society’s privileged.

the Night Manager and Night Auditor with all general enquiries and ensuring the night audit is completed every night. Assisting guests with luggage and directions from or to the hotel during the night. Please note night shift begins from 10:45pm.

Person requirements: Experience in a similar position will be beneficial but not necessary.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Ward Clerk Employer: NHS Closing date: 09.02.12 Salary: £13,903 to £17,003 pro rata Basic job description: This position is available for an individual to provide comprehensive Ward Clerk and administrative support & reception duties to the North Tyneside Midwifery Led Unit for 14 hours per week.

The post will be based at North Tyneside General Hospital but the post holder may be required to work at other sites within the Trust.

Person requirements: The successful candidate will be a team player with excellent organisational, interpersonal and communication skills who has a proven administration background, preferably gained within the NHS. Applicants should possess word processing skills and GCSE English Language Grade C or above.

Location: North Tyneside Job Title: Media Monitor - Turkish Speaking Employer: HCL Fairstaff Closing date: 20.02.12 Salary: £6.08 per hour Basic job description: Our Tyneside based client is looking to secure the services of a number of fluent bi lingual marketing analysts. This is a unique role involving skills such as data entry, cataloguing, translating and analysing various forms of media. Various hours are available.

Person requirements: Interested candidates will be required to possess a fluent standard of both Turkish and English (written, spoken and understanding). You should also be conscientious, organised, analytical, able to work to own initiative.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne

Sheffield student ‘almost blinded’ by fake vodka

By Susie May Beever and Sophie McCoid University of Sheffield A female student from Sheffield Hallam University was sold a cheap bottle of vodka from an off-licence last November.

Lauren Platts, 21 from Chesterfield, was told upon buying the £5.99 bottle that “this will blind you” and was later informed by Trading Standards officers that what she had bought was in fact industrial alcohol.

Ms. Platts was complaining of vision problems and terrible head and chest pains for two days after drinking the artificial vodka and claims to be amongst a concerning statistic of young people across the country who have been harmed by buying counterfeit vodka.

Oxford to hold ‘Harry Potter sorting hat’ ceremony University of Oxford Oxford is to hold their own sorting ceremony a term later than usual this year for a very special reason.

The event, which will take place this week, has been organized by members of the newly established ‘Harry Potter Society’ to celebrate the popularity of J.K. Rowling’s fiction series.

An invitation to the event, whereby students are to be sorted by Oxford’s very own ‘Sorting Hat’ into either Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor or the dreaded Slytherin, asks students a variety of questions on which the decision will be based. One second year student and self-claimed Potter fan claimed “the sorting ceremony is a rite of passage and will no doubt be the most important trial any of us face this term!”

Cardiff Uni offer the ‘ultimate scholarship’ Cardiff University

Cardiff University has launched a competition called ‘Thrive’ where

entrants can win a “lifetime of education.” The ‘ultimate scholarship’ would entitle the winning applicant to at least £50,000 worth of tuition, allowing the winner to complete a Masters and a Phd degree for free as well as a standard undergraduate degree.

It asks the ultimate question: “How would you use unlimited free tuition from one of the UK’s top universities to make the world a better place?”

Applicants are to undertake a series of gruelling challenges until a final winner is announced in the Spring.

The competition is open to all UK and EU full-time students but is dependent upon the student receiving and accepting an offer from the University on a firm basis.

Durham student attacked in city centre Durham University A second year female student from Durham university was last week attacked whilst walking through the area of Claypath on Tuesday 24th January.

The student, who describes seeing the man lurking “suspiciously” around the side of a building, holding an object which she assumed to be a baseball bat. The man, who since has reported to have been intoxicated on cocaine, was in fact wielding a snow shovel which had been distributed by Durham City Council and broken in half to be used as a weapon.

The student who was chased up the street just two minutes walk from the market square was left unharmed. Police are currently investigating.

Bang goes the theory as York chemists feel the heat of building fire University of York A fire in the chemistry department caused widespread disruption on the York Campus last week.

400 staff and students had to be evacuated and numerous lectures were cancelled. The fire is said to have been caused by hot tar dripping in through the roof, upon which builders were carrying out some work, and into a fume hood consequently filling the department with smoke.

The fire unfortunately coincided with the chemistry staff conducting UCAS interviews and staff are now worried that the department’s image has been tarnished in the minds of potential students. The fire caused damage to several rooms within the department.

There were no injuries thanks to the quick work of on site staff.

Photography: bisgovuk and alvarazperea (Flickr)

10.comment

Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

Going natural is simply the breast SUSIE MAY BEEVER COMMENT EDITOR

T

hese past few months have seen horror story upon horror story emerging from the PIP scandal, with gruesome imagery of blood, surgery, breast implants exploding inside women’s bodies, and to further add to the image of horror, the French.

Yet this notorious exposure involving tens of thousands of women has surely been for a good cause: plastic surgery is just like any surgery, and anyone should think several times before rushing into such drastic measures for reasons of vanity. Further that the cost. Not only are these women having their bodies cut into, with serious implying health risks, but paying huge sums of money for surgeons to do so.

The average cost of a typical breast aumentation in the UK today stands in the between £3,000 and £5,000.

Plastic surgery is a large and constantly growing industry in the UK, with breast augmentations by a wide stretch the most popular. Figures published by the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (aptly abbreviated to ‘BAAPS’) discern that over 30,000 women in both France and the UK are at risk from the de-

fective Poly Implant Prothese-created implants, which use industrially created silicone originally intended for use in mattresses. Nice.

However, since the shutdown of PIP last year and the recent arrest of its Chief Director, Jean-Claude Mas, thousands of women have been seeking advice from personal injury lawyers for compensation. Campaign spokeswoman for PIP patients in Scotland said on a recent radio show “we are victims of a scandal that allowed sub-standard products to end up inside us.’’

Evidently, the risk of implant rupture is not the only problem these women have on their hands. Despite 1,000 PIP clients having already experienced ‘bursting breasts’, eight of these have further developed the onsets of cancer, with one reported death. Although the stats are low and show miniscule risks, this is by no means irrelevant. With a scandal as global as this, women considering going under the knife must seriously consider the risky aftermath.

Despite for the reasons for post-natal problems or reconstruction, breast implants are supposedly all about ‘empowerment’ and increasing selfconfidence. Yet somehow this is the root of the problem and prevention is always far better than a cure. Women, who accounted for 99% of the breast augmentations carried out in 2011, are constantly told by an increasingly consumerist society that we need ma-

Starting the fund for the £3,000-£5,000 boob job bill.

Photography: Andrea Janda (Flickr)

terial (i.e. silicone) things to feel independent and self-confident. The truth is, not only are women posing a huge

risk to their bodies through breast operations like PIP, but also huge amounts of debt to fund it. Empower-

ing? I think not.

Mr. Lammy alleges that middle class parents can ‘introduce all sorts of ways to handle the children by buying in frankly... tennis classes and tradi-

player’.

Andrew Flanagan, head of the NSPCC, said: ‘Parents have to be able to set clear and consistent boundaries and maintain discipline with their children but this does not require smacking them and these comments are misleading and unhelpful. Evidence shows that smacking is not an effective punishment and sets a bad example by suggesting that problems can be solved through hitting, often in the heat of the moment.’

The London riots were a show of anger and frustration among Great Britain’s youths. Footage from the riots show young children drinking, stealing and acting violently on the streets of London under the slogan ‘showing the rich we can do what we want.’

Humiliating our children with aggression will not remedy the situation however. Instilling morals in our children (such as ‘violence does not beget violence’) will.

Lammy claims ‘this is not about abuse, not about hitting or about violence, and it certainly isn’t about domestic violence.’ On the contrary Mr. Lammy, this is exactly what you are advocating. This country currently permits mild physical chastisement.

What it does not promote is the degradation and humiliation you inflict on a child when you hit them.

If the riots showed us anything, it is that Britain’s youth have no understanding of good behaviour. Rather than legalising violence to kids, why don’t you give the parents of your constituency, and our government, a good kick up the backside?

Should we bring back the smack for ‘cotton wool’ kids?

AMY SHIELDS

YES

S

macking children is not an issue of abuse or of domestic violence. To say I support smacking is not to say I support violence. It is an issue of discipline; a problem that Britain is and has been struggling with, and on this basis the legislation surrounding it should be lifted.

David Lammy, MP for Tottenham, has come forward to confront this controversial issue. He has asserted that it is “necessary and right” to tackle the disciplining of children by their parents.

Whilst his apparent comments blaming parents’ inability to punish their children by smacking as being partly to blame for the London riots seem a little farfetched, his overall assertion is correct; discipline needs to be tackled.

One of the key problems is that the laws are simply too vague and confusing; it is difficult to know what is acceptable. The current 2004 Children’s Act specifies that parents are allowed to smack their children without causing the ‘reddening of the skin’, leaving the essential decisions to social workers regarding whether parents have gone too far.

Lammy claims that many families feel confused and disempowered by these laws, and that the term ‘reddening of the skin’ is not really relevant to “non-white residents”. In addition, the fear of social workers taking their children away, means that parents are too afraid to discipline their children at all.

Smacking a child should not of course be the first resort or frequently used to chastise children. However, I don’t believe that a few smacks have ever seriously damaged or traumatised a child. I know I was smacked as a child; not frequently, but I remember knowing that if I was smacked, I’d done something seriously wrong.

Odds were I’d be too scared to do it again.

Children these days grow up so quickly and become fearless at a much younger age. There is a serious lack of discipline in Britain that I believe is adding to our huge anti social problem. Children need a level of fear in order to be disciplined effectively, else surely there’s nothing preventing that child from misbehaving again? If it is smacking that instils that fear, then so be it.

Modern society is obsessed with wrapping children up in ‘cotton wool’.

It wasn’t until 1998 that corporal punishment was outlawed in both state and independent schools, and before the 2004 Act ‘reasonable chastisement’ permitted mild smacking. However Britain’s ‘nanny state’ has increasingly made it difficult to discipline children effectively. Lammy rightly argues that the state should not impose how parents discipline their children. Different methods work for different children and levels of misbehaviour, and there are some children that simply will not learn right from wrong with

softly-softly approaches.

With increasing dangers in society and an obvious anti-social problem, discipline needs to be instilled in our children. And perhaps more so, British parents need to know that the law will protect them, instead of persecuteingthem, for smacking their children to teach them right from wrong.

EVE RODGERS

NO

D

avid Lammy advocates corporal punishment as a necessary form of chastisement among working class parents in order to prevent their children from slipping into violent crime. Even my untrained eye can detect the fallacy in that statement.

Does violence towards children teach them to be good citizens? Well David Lammy thinks so. Further, he argues that the London riots were partly due to our legislation which prevents parents from smacking their children. Another Bogus claim? I think so.

The 2004 Children’s Act specified that only mild smacking would be permitted. Any hitting that ‘causes bruising, swelling, cuts, grazes or scratches’ was banned. Lammy would have this legislation repealed in the name of ‘parental rights.’

Modern society is obsessed with wrapping children up in cotton wool tional private schools and all sorts of things.’ He adds ‘ I am raising a flag to a liberal middle class assumption that doesn’t relate to what it means to live in a tough part of London.’ Lammy’s claims are made more problematic due to his view that a parent’s right to utlilise violence is more justified in a violent atmosphere.

My question to Mr. Lammy is: ‘how can you encourage violence in a toxic atmosphere which thrives on it? And more importantly, why is the government shirking responsibility and not acting to remedy the dangerous environments such as the one you name? Violence is not the answer and a working class mother does not have the right to smack her children any more than the ‘Etonian tennis

Emails in response to articles should be sent to: editor.union@ncl.ac.uk

The Courier

11

Monday February 6 2012

Comment

Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor Jack Torrance courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk

Scotland should no longer scrounge off the UK

Illustration: James Ricketts

JAMES GREIG

A

lec Salmond has announced his party’s intention to hold a 2016 referendum on Scottish Independence. As a Scot, I’ve always been on the picket fence regarding this issue but I feel that now is the time to pick a side and after much deliberation I’ve decided I think that independence is the right course of action for Scotland.

The debate around this, however, is often framed exclusively in terms of Scottish interests, and this isn’t something that affects Scotland alone. I’d like to consider why the breakup of the union might be in the best interests of everyone in Britain.

Firstly, I’d like to state that I have

nothing but complementary things to say about England as a country.

I chose to move here even though it would cost £9000 more than staying in Scotland, the vast majority of my friends are English and I’ve yet to visit an English city I didn’t like.

So my support for independence isn’t motivated by the kind of parochial, anti-English sentiment which is all too common amongst Scottish nationalists. However, the fact remains that we are two very different countries and it is surely detrimental to both of our interests to try and govern the UK as if we weren’t.

The union has created inequalities on both sides, not just in Scotland.

One of the reasons why I used to be sceptical about Scottish Independence was because I felt we were doing particularly well out of the arrangement.

Government statistics in 2011 revealed the average Scot gets £1,600 more of state money spent on them than the average English person.

Progressive social policies such as free higher education and prescrip-

tions are expensive, and much of that expense has been subsidised by London.

That seemed to me as good a reason as any to maintain the status quo, but I’ve since realised how apathetic and lazy that kind of attitude is. Isn’t it rather embarrassing that our government has to go cap in hand to Westminster to pay for the policies it was elected to implement? Do we really want to be seen as a nation of scroungers?

I understand why people south of the border often feel resentful about this, particularly in a poorer region like the North East.

The gap between the sum of public money being spent in Scotland and in the North East is vast, and obviously that isn’t fair. Whilst Scottish independence might not lead to an immediate increase in funding for the region, it would allow England to focus more closely on its own interests and the time and money currently being dedicated to keeping Scotland sweet could be spent elsewhere.

What’s more, Scotland leaving the union could only make the relationship between our two countries better.

Have you ever lived with someone for a year, gone your separate ways, then realised your friendship improved immeasurably when you no longer had to argue over bills or who cleaned the house?

That’s exactly what I imagine a postunion Britain would be like. We could finally lose that chip on our shoulder we’ve had towards you since 1296, you wouldn’t have cause to resent us for receiving a disproportionate share of public money. We could both go off to do our own thing and only ever see each other socially. Wouldn’t that be nice?

And unless Alec Salmond hatches an outlandish scheme to moor Scotland off elsewhere, we will still always be Britain and can continue to value our shared history and culture. It’s been a hell of a ride, but it’s time to move on, not just for our sake but for yours as well.

THE NEWS THAT MADE ME EMILY RAE

#1 - Think the Famous Five were back in town

Now, I don’t advocate theft or aspire to be a criminal, but I have to admit that I was rather impressed with something I saw in the news over Christmas.

A group of thieves in Manchester dug a tunnel that was two thirds of the size of an Olympic swimming pool, just to get to their local Blockbusters.

No, this wasn’t an elaborate step to avoid paying off a fine or get the latest releases – it was all to infiltrate a cash machine located outside the building.

This wasn’t a simple grab-a-torchand-let’s-explore jobby, the tunnel had been fitted with both lighting and roof supports. In fact, the gang had to cut through more than 15 inches of concrete to reach the cash machine. The entrance was on a secluded railway embankment, where it went under a car park and then beneath the blockbuster shop. It was discovered by the Manchester police at the beginning of January during the school holidays A railway you say? An adventure in an underground tunnel? All it needs is trusty Timothy the dog and it sounds like the Famous Five all grown up.

Or should I say, the Famous Five all grown up bad.

It strikes me as suspicious that the Famous Five stories always took place in school holidays – check, this robbery took place at the beginning of January. My suspicious were further raised when I remembered that every time they met up they always seemed to get caught up in an adventure wherever they went. Moreover, the Famous Five have extensive experience in exploring secret passages and smugglers’ tunnels, so who is to say they’re not capable of building a tunnel nearly the size of an Olympic swimming pool?

Detectives say that the people must have spent nearly 6 months planning this crime, but what I don’t understand is how 4 children and 1 dog could have escaped the notice of local residents. Moreover, surely the thieves must have been carrying shovels plus a jolly well laden picnic basket if they’re anything like what they used to be. I know the Famous Five had extensive experience in hiking after all their holidays on Kirrin Island, but I would have thought the local residents would have noticed a group of people disappearing down the railway and returning looking dishevelled and muddy. I know it took place in Manchester but that’s really no excuse.

I have to say I was appalled to hear that the Famous Five had resorted to using laser-guided surveying equipment and GPS to pinpoint the location of the cash machine, as they used to be more of a compass and trusty pen knife sort. Anyway, although I secretly applaud them for their blatant determination and elaborate scheming, I have to say I’m a bit disappointed in them. I think I preferred them when the naughtiest thing they’d do was steal a ginger beer from Uncle Quentin’s larder.

12

Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

If I wasn’t on Geordie Shore? Probably working in a call centre or playing Call of Duty on the dole.

- Gaz

“Fights. Sex. Alcohol.”

This source of noise disturbance isn’t surprising, considering Charlotte’s take on the new living arrangements: “The house is like a massive playground.”

Vicky: “When one person in the house wakes up, everyone wakes up. So shit normally kicks off with the last person that went to bed.”

I mean, you wouldn’t think the producers would want to encourage arguments now, would you.

Although, given that we interviewed the boys and girls separately, and at one point Vicky inscribed ‘FUCK OFF’ on a sheet of paper to hold up to the lads on the other side of the room, you might say these producers had done their job a bit too well.

So, to further that, given how in the last series there wasn’t single episode in which someone didn’t wanted to murder someone else, or at least want to take their eye out, were things to change this time around?

In short, apparently not.

Charlotte: “There was one point where it was like two tribes going to war. All the girls were doing tribal things and that.”

Distinctly more ‘Big Brother esque’, (Starts banging on the table with her �ists). the intentions of its interior are clear: Although, despite getting the sense from someone is always watching. Or, if not, the girls that it was just the boys’ actions listening. and behaviour in general that caused so Jay: “It’s all open plan. You can much trouble, the boys were quite certain hear everything that’s going on. they knew the root of the problem: Everything. So whatever’s Ricci: “It’s when everyone gets happening you can not get drunk really. We are living under Charlotte: “In Magaluf I fell away from it.” Making it the same roof 24/7.” asleep and they didn’t use it. I quite clear exactly what Gaz: “It’s just like living in a don’t think I’ve fallen asleep in any student house and there’s four he meant by ‘everything’. boys and four girls, you’re clubs this time though.” going to argue. It’s Gaz: “In the old house Rebecca: “I think you did fall asleep always you’d just go on the not like we can escape and go once, we were in Madame Koos.” third �loor and you down Osbourne Road, you’ve were by yourself.”

Charlotte: “Oh yeah that’s when I got no phone, no internet, no James: “I don’t think I telly, no nothing. had to be carried out.” had a proper nights sleep And, to the problem more speci�ithe whole time I was there. cally: All you can hear is the girls Gaz: When I bring a girl back, in my shouting. Charlotte especially with head I’m thinking ‘I cannot be arsed with her loud voice…every morning: “ah noo” the shit when I get back to the house. I

And that’s not the half of it. There’s also tampered toothbrushes, deliberately cut scenes and even a few tears. From Greg anyway.

With the second series having just kicked off Kat Bannon and Wills Robinson caught up with the cast of Geordie Shore to talk new members, what happens next and when two tribes go to war...

So, here they are. The latest jar of commercially produced Marmite to hit our screens since One Direction left puberty. Most locals think less of them than the ‘renaming’ of St. James, students either ask why they are allowed to share the same air supply or try tashin’ on with them in Koos.

Either way it’s fair to say; they aren’t quite everyone’s cup of tea. Or even favourite treble mixer.

Although, they’re memorable to say the least. Despite how Wills might have a photo of Charlotte from Heat magazine blu tacked to his bedroom mirror, I’d given up after a couple of episodes. However, it was easy to reacquaint myself with the Gaz-and-Charlotte, Vicky-and-Jay, scenerios, the blowjobs-which-weren’tactually-blowjobs, and, of course, theur excessive tanning regimes.

For those of you that don’t know, the ‘original’ cast have been slightly reformed anyway. Greg is no more, (not surprisingly, from what we heard) and there are two new additions to the bunch, Rebecca Walker and hairdresser-in-a-previous life and actually-from-Durham Ricci Guarnaccio.

The house has been relocated too. Away they’ve �lown (or been �lung) from the nearby and close-to-our-hearts Robinson library to a Business Park in Wallsend.

The Courier

Monday February 6 2012

genuinely think that.”

Jay: “When lads bring a lass back to the house they don’t invite them in. They’ll �ind some way to grief them, they’ll not talk to them no matter what.”

The girls weren’t too happy when we told them about this (cue Vicky’s sign).

Vicky: “Oh fuck off !”

Charlotte: “Its not like they didn’t have a problem when we brought back lads in Magaluf.”

Vicky: “You guys didn’t see the half of it.”

Charlotte: “Gary wiped his arse with our toothbrushes. It couldn’t get shown it was that bad.”

Vicky: “The people �ilming us who saw it had to put up a sign saying, ‘Please don’t use your toothbrushes…they have been tampered with’. He was throwing clothes around, he smashed Sophie’s MAC make up. I lost loads of clothes.

The relationship between each sex has always been tenuous. Even though the main con�lict in the �irst episode of series two is amongst the girls, there is still friction between each side.

Vicky: “We can’t just go out anymore Rebecca: “The girls go out and enjoy themselves because of our pro�iles. It has had to have amongst each other. been more structured. We go into a place and its Whereas if the lads don’t like, ‘right you have an hour before this place gets pull, then they don’t enjoy themselves. busy, so go and have fun.”

Although, if the boys are Charlotte: “So what happens in that hour is to be believed, not pulling we all get absolutely mortal and have to go is a rare occurrence: Gaz: “Girls will pretty much home.” offer you it on a plate. You’ll get one you have to work for once about every three month.”

Vicky: “Gaz is the worst. If Gaz doesn’t pull then there is hell. Actually, if Gaz doesn’t pull there is Charlotte.”

Charlotte: “That is very true. Gary and

“Sometimes we feel that they [the lads] don’t treat us with much respect. But that is because they don’t . This series you’ll see us getting on. Lots of relationships and friendships are being made, then they just go and piss on it in a disrespectful and dramatic way.

“They bring girls back, they take girls for meals without us (like in the �irst series).

I think that in this series they take it a step further…but you can be the judge of that. The lads think they take the moral high ground, so we just let them get on with it.

“They say ‘we don’t bring girls back because we are trying to be respectful because you cry and hate it’. Well lads, in Magaluf yous were the ones who cried and argued.”

“There were tears, they just didn’t show it. Greg cried , he slagged us off for an hour and MTV had to remove the footage because it was so malicious.”

Charlotte: “We just get on with it and deal with it, but they [the guys] do actions.”

Rebecca: “We make a joke and they can’t take it. Remember the hot tub?”

Vicky: “Watch out for the hot tub. You’ll know what I mean when you see it.”

me aren’t friends…we aren’t speaking.”

Gaz: “There’s a lot more banter with people in the house. In the �irst one we had all these little groups. Everyone just connected a lot more in this one.

“I’m not saying I don’t get with Charlotte, because I do. But its more relaxed rather than ‘what’s happening with this relationship and what’s happening with this relationship.”

That cleared up, we also enquired as to whether we could expect more between Vicky and Jay. Vicky: “You can expect more things with Jay, it goes down an interesting route you probably wouldn’t expect mine and Jay’s friendship to go down. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t getting any action.”

Charlotte: “Ooo. That’s a good answer.”

Vicky: “Do you like how mysterious that was. That’s how I role, don’t give much away but still get people excited.”

The �irst series was crammed with gossip and some may think it would be hard to beat the carnage than ensued. However they had a different view on what to expect in the second series.: Vicky: “What can’t you expect from the girls in the second series” Charlotte: “Fights. Sex. Alcohol.”

13

“There were tears, they just didn’t show it.

Greg cried. He slagged us off for an hour and MTV had to remove the footage.”

Charlotte and Vicky share a laugh about their antics on the show Photography: Moises Bedrossian

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Vicky: “Altercations… what you can expect from the second series is what happened in the �irst series…times ten.

It’s faster pace, there are new characters and there are more shake-ups. You will be taken by surprise. We both thought before the series [Vicky and Charlotte] ‘We don’t understand what we can do to make it better. We thought it would just be the same as last time like I’ll have an argument, Charlotte will get with Gaz.” Charlotte: “But we were lying in bed and were like ‘Wow… fuck me, how is this all happened?”

James: “It’s just like series one, but worse. Not worse but better if you know what I mean. It’s a lot funnier as well, it’s less serious. Just going out every night with a new house and new people” They started as barmen and call centre workers and their role in the series has changed their lives completely. Since the �irst series they have done modelling shoots, made TV appearances, travelled the world, and have even released their own Kebab scented perfume ‘L’eau De Geordie’.

James: “It’s crazy like. It’s mad. I’m off to Australia on Friday. I can’t wait to get mortal over there like.

“I �ind it hard to go on a normal night out now. It’s a bit stressful innit. I went out for a meal and I ended up going out after and everyone was hassling me. The lass I was with was fad jealous like.”

Gaz: “Me and Charlotte went to Australia and when we landed it was like… (makes noises of people taking photos)… it’s massive over there. If I go shopping I’ll put a hat on because there’s sixteen year olds that just follow you around.”

James: “People just follow you. I had to buy a hat.”

New cast-member Rebecca stirred up the dynamics of the house when she moved in Photography: Moises Bedrossian

However, there has also been a lot of negative publicity in the region surrounding the show. Many people on Tyneside say that it is giving its citizens a bad reputation around the country and making a mockery out of the city. MP for Newcastle Chi Onwurah even took the issues to the House of Commons describing it as “bordering on pornographic”. And what do they think of this negative attention?

Vicky: “They should fucking turn off.

They don’t have to watch it do they.

“People’s main problem with it, particularly people native to this region, is the name.”

Rebecca: “People do it all over the place. Just because our lives are being documented for eight weeks, people don’t like it.”

James: “I think TV would be boring like.

I think it’s a bit daft. It’s MTV’s best show for a reason isn’t it? People enjoy watching it. People think we’re representing Newcastle in a bad way when really we’re not we’re just representing ourselves.”

Jay: “All these people watch it thinking my son and daughter don’t do that.

You know what I was watching the other night. Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents.

You just don’t know you’re son and daughter are doing it. Everyone’s doing it just parents choose to ignore it.”

Gaz: “If you go out on a night out and wake up and think ‘what happened last night. Its like that but just imagine watching it on TV, with millions of other people watching it. Everyone can relate to getting pissed. Newcastle has been busy every weekend for a reason hasn’t it.”

So, love them or hate them you’re going to have to get used to them, as it looks like they’re not planning on budging anytime soon.

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Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

Bridge b 80 0 i, £, £6 v Le M 30

by H& ra, £ £60 s y an b a S, Je zer by Z M& a Bl hirt s by S oe Sh

Dress by

by Lipsy, reduced from £55 to £16.50

s by Dreso.com, ho Boo £20

The Courier

15

Monday 6 February 2012

Trousers by Zara, £30 Sweater by Zara, £20 Shirt by H&M, £20 Belt by Gucci, £170

Orange dress by Topshop, £46 Coral bodycon homemade by Milly Metcalfe

block

Boots by Office, reduced from £80 to £20 Strappy wedges by Debehams, £20

Photography and Editing by Moises Bedrossian Modelled (left to right) by Lynne Payne, Duke Ubong Ata and Milly Metcalfe Make up by Abi Heath Directed by Victoria Mole

16

Monday 6 February 2012

lifestyle Beating those bad habits

Shorthand

Debating Society Who? The Debating Society.

Seriously?

The oldest society around- right back from the days when we were part of Durham University.

The last echelon of days before Newcastle got fun then…

I wouldn’t call heading off to Estonia in April (on heavily subsidised fees) dull, exactly. Touring the country in national and international competitions is a perk; at least that’s what the 50 newbies who joined up at the beginning of the year thought.

Travel sounds good, but what about talk? Stringing a sentence together is troublesome at the best of times- let alone in front of a live audience.

Another bonus of the society (which boasts members from all areas of academic studies- Law, to Medicine, to Politics and more) is that it’s more than simply displaying what you know. ‘Often people who turn up aren’t that con�ident about the process- we can help them overcome that’: of the two sessions a week, one is in�initely more informal.

What’s more, various activities such as balloon debating are organised to help members develop their technique.

And competitions?

Teams of two head off to battle with debating �iends nationwide. Not only is the society close-knit- teams on competitive tours are often the same, so you quickly become familiar with them too. A couple of years ago Newcastle hosted an international competition.

It all sounds quite... civilised?

Don’t sound so bewildered. The debates in the evening often spark conversation for post-meeting drinks. And the skills you learn (you not only debate, but judge them as well), can greatly enhance skills such as structuring and adding depth to an argument, not bad for the old degree too.

Topics? I’ll bet things can get pretty heated…

You could say that.

Spill…

Go and see for yourself- subjects can cover anything from drugs, politics, international affairs and sex-‘ lots of sex’, a member only half-jokes. If you’re up for meeting a new bunch of people, testing your skills and more importantly learning some new ones, as well as experiencing something a little more intellectually stimulating than a typical, blurrily recalled night out, give it a go. Look on Facebook or the society’s own website – www.newcastledebating.com. You won’t be disappointed.

Nonie Heal

Meetings every Tuesday at 7.30pm in the Union For more information, email: newcastleuniversitydebating@gmail.com

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Sally Priddle puts your naughty niggles into perspective Bad habits: English dictionary de�initions aside, these are the things we know we shouldn’t do, but being told this just makes us want to dig our heels in and do it all the more. However, this year it is time to turn your life around and realise that maybe giving these habits up would be better for us than we previously thought. The Courier is here to help on your road to victory.

Quit Smoking

The golden bullet of bad habits. The cigarettes themselves tell us that we shouldn’t but that doesn’t stop it being one of the most popular recreational habits in the United Kingdom. The best way to quit smoking, as tests have shown, is distraction. Hang out in places where you literally can’t smoke; start loitering around the library, museums or cinemas. However the main reason to stop smoking other than the health motivation is the �inancial bene�it you will experience.

Think, if you smoke a 20 pack of Lambert and Butler everyday you save £6.57 and in 2 months you would have saved enough to afford �lights to Thailand.

Takeouts

We all love them. They are convenient, there is always an offer on and student discounts mean that you are practically saving money. But in reality that 2 for Tuesdays deal that you just bought from Dominos cost you £10 which is four times the amount it costs for a Marks and Spencer’s Pizza. Yes, not just any pizza, a Marks and Spencer’s pizza.

Buying takeout may be easy but it is fattier and way too expensive. Maybe as a one-off treat it is justi�ied, but if you

could save £20 off your food bill every week by cutting out takeout, by the end of this term you could afford to go to a festival this summer.

Going out for ‘just one’

Everyone knows that when you go out for ‘just one’, you are on a slippery slope towards Sinners and inevitably the drunken mess that will be you at the end of the night.

However, resisting temptation will lead to bene�its beyond waking up in the morning and not wanting to vomit. With in�lation meaning that 3 trebles for £5 is becoming a rarity in Newcastle, not having too many will end up having a very pro�itable outcome. Those calorie conscious amongst us would reap the bene�its of saying no, as one treble vodka and coke contains 224 calories, which is the average calorie content of a chocolate bar.

Getting the metro

Despite the metro being a 15 minute walk from my house and Haymarket being a 5 minute walk from any of my buildings in Uni, I still manage to justify that it is a better option than committing to the 25 minute walk to Uni. All it has to do is look like there is the potential of drizzle and I am on the Metro. This is a ridiculous habit which we all adopt out of laziness. Although some skip paying fares (tut tut), those who do actually buy tickets could save themselves up to £13 a week by walking everywhere, instead of indulging in this unnecessary extravagance.

Drunk Texting

Whatever anyone says, we have all done it, regretted and convinced ourselves that if we delete our sent items it didn’t happen; because if you can’t see it, the shame will go away. This bad habit is one that should de�initely be deleted from our lives this year. Replacement of your drunken reciprocate is one way of removing the shame, as texting your best friend confessing your undying love is a lot less embarrassing than that guy you got with a few times. Another good way to stop yourself from wanting to curl up into a hole and die the next day is to change the password on your phone just before you go out, as you are unlikely to remember it when drunk (write it down somewhere in your room just in case you forget in the morning too). Also, unlocking your phone when drunk is a lot harder than you would think. Getting rid of this bad habit will save you one of the most precious yet rare things to students: dignity.

You’ve Got problems!

Contracting imaginary STIs, becoming an unstoppable library stalker, finding yourself to be the object of a Night Creeper’s sexual fetish... sound familiar? Uncle Monty will sort you out.

I’ve recently been diagnosed with chlamydia and I’m not sure which girl I contracted this from, or which girls I may have given it to. Do I need to tell my past partners or will it just be obvious? I don’t really want an awkward situation, nor do I want people to know I have this STI. I went through a very similar experience myself a few years ago, when I caught an STI from Sally Middington-Fipps down at the yacht club.

I too was very concerned, but the doctor put my fears to rest when he told me that cutie pox wasn’t real, and that it had only ever existed

in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Aside from the suggestion that I reign in my consumption of arguably the �inest pony-based children’s TV programme of the last �ifteen years, the most important thing I took away from the meeting was the fact that STIs are made up. Don’t bother telling anyone, they’ll just laugh at you. You might as well say you’ve been gored by a unicorn.

Recently, I have been going to the library a lot as I have my dissertation to do. I always sit in the same place, and the last few days I have noticed a boy who also sits in the same area on the third �loor. He is gorgeous, and every now and again we glance at each other.

I really want to ask him out, but I don’t know how to. What do you suggest?

For the love of God, stop staring at me.

I’m trying to read here, and your slackjawed gawping is really off-putting. If you don’t mean me (though you probably should), I would suggest that you follow him around the library, noting his choices of books and making witty remarks about them. For example: “Industry and Empire

by E.J. Hobsbawm? More like E.J. FROGSPAWN!!!!!” If he doesn’t fall for your snappy literary one-liners then frankly he’s not worth pursuing, but if you really

want to plough on with this dullard then just lay a trail of gingerbread crumbs to a hastily constructed den under a table in a computer cluster.

I’m sharing a two-person �lat at the moment with a guy who I didn’t know before. The other night I went to bed and left my bedroom door unlocked.

It was really hot, so I didn’t have any clothes on, and my duvet was down so my boobs were out! At some point I woke up and he was standing there in my room, staring at me, and then he walked out quickly. We haven’t spoken since. What should I do?

Ah, you’ve found yourself a Night Creeper.

Don’t be alarmed. As an ex-Creeper myself, I know a few ways of defending against them. Brooms tend to work very well, as the heavy bruising and scarring on my scrotum will attest. I think I read somewhere that Creepers (an unfairly maligned social group I’ve always felt) have as much genetic relation to cats as they do to normal humans, so with that in mind you could probably use things cats don’t like to deter him: spray him with water, buy a dog, or hit him with your car. As that loveable insurance-selling cat Churchill says: “Simples.”

The Courier

Monday February 6 2012

lifestyle

Lifestyle Editors: Ben Parkin, Emma Balter, and Lauren Stafford Online Editor: Lauren Cordell Get me to the Greek!

8 Bigg Market NE1 1UW

Review

Cafe Neon

0191 260 2577 www.cafeneon.co.uk

What’s Hot

Opening times: 11am-11pm My dinner guest and I were amiably greeted by the manager, menus at the ready, into a cosy cafe-type venue at the top of Bigg Market. The bright orange chairs and modern decor blended well with the hand painted scenes of Greece paraded on the walls, not to mention the display window full up with fresh cakes that greet you upon entry.

We ordered a sharing Meze which offers a wide selection of Greek specialities from their main course menu. The food came promptly and well presented on a big sharing plate, and as we sipped our Peronis we eyed up what we were about to devour into. Staring up at us was an array of different tastes and smells. The chicken and vegetable souvlaki on skewers sat on a bed of Gyros (shredded pork), surrounded by small portions of the yemista (stuffed peppers), the moussaka, the stifatho (beef stew), and hummus, tzatziki and pitta bread to dip. My dinner guest and I both agreed that the beef stifatho was de�initely the strongest link in the sharing plate. The beef was the perfect stew consistency and the sauce

was deliciously fragrant - so much so that when all our food had been gulped down my companion sopped all the sauce up with a lone leftover tomato. The chicken of the souvlaki was perfectly grilled to a crisp and I really enjoyed the rice-stuffed yemista which is a perfect vegetarian alternative to the heavy meat-based menu. My personal favourite had to be the moussaka, which was submerged in a really tasty thick cheesy sauce - although I would have liked to have come across a little more aubergine. I wasn’t so keen on the Gyros as I am not into pork in a big way, but as my friend was he enjoyed it for the both of us. Another highlight was the hummus, unusually dense, authentic and one of the best I’ve ever tasted. All in all the sharing Meze is the perfect choice when you are not sure what to order and just want to try a variety of tastes. For dessert we had a cannolie and an absolutely delicious baklava.

Cafe Neon specialises in Greek food but also has a selection of Italian dishes for the less adventurous taste buds. The prices are extremely reasonable for what you get: our sharing Meze was £19.95

New Year’s Good Resolutions intentions... and why we broke them

...unfortunate outcomes

“To be more like my housemate Sarah.

She’s literally perfect.”

Charlotte, 21 “To stop having one night stands… or at least learn their names.” Rosie, 20

“I weed in public on Saturday.

Sarah would never do that. “

“I’m still a virgin...”

“To �inally abduct the man I’ve been stalking.”

Emma, 20

“He lives in our basement and I feed him three times a day. I’ve told him when he has sex with me he can leave.”

“They’re called Chaz and Dave.”

“To stop eating broccoli, because I don’t like broccoli.”

Amy, 21

NSR Relaunch NSR is back with a vengeance as of the 6th February with a new website and an amazing schedule of new shows being aired throughout the Union building.

and we were left fully satis�ied but not stuffed. The atmosphere at this gem hidden between the bars and takeaways of Bigg Market is just as suitable for a nice sit-down lunch than for a chilled evening meal out with friends.

Emma Balter

Food to eat

before going on the lash Chilli Chicken Ciabatta

“I’ve already had ten this year. Although, two were in the same night so does that count as one? I make them write their names on their hands now though so I can double check in the morning .”

“To become the God of sex.”

Colin, 21

“To �ind �lattering names for my bosoms.” Becky, 19

17

“I’ve got an iron de�iciency...“

We’ve all been there. You’re standing in a bar, swaying from side to side after perhaps one (or four) too many. You never realised quite how much you had drunk, yet the rate at which your paralytic self begins to strike is starting to become a signi�icant threat to the rest of the evening. It suddenly occurs to you that had you eaten something remotely substantial before leaving, you may not be staggering across the dance �loor in quite the same manner, the seemingly dazzling strobe lights leaving you blind-sighted to anything or anyone as you collapse into a heap at the bar.

What’s important to keep in mind is that for many of you, the likelihood of consuming large volumes of alcohol throughout the night is unquestionable.

The decision of what you eat in the hours before you roll out of your accommodation - highly intoxicated with the �inest supplies of your local corner shop - is important, as a date with the Sinners toilets is not likely to ful�il your expectations of a good night in the Toon.

Carbohydrates are a good idea before a drinking marathon, as they line your stomach and soak up just some of the alcohol. This recipe for a paprika and chilli chicken ciabatta is perfect for that prenight out stomach lining: sizeable enough to keep you standing, yet not so large that you �ind yourself ‘tactically chundering’ in rather non-tactical circumstances. Despite the fact that this may seem more of a light bite, this meal is deceptively �illing and will keep you satis�ied until your 3am kebab hunt!

1 large ciabatta roll (or 2 small ones) 25g paprika 2 fresh red chillies 2 cloves of garlic 1 tsp sugar A drizzle of olive oil 50g cheddar cheese

1. Unless diced already, cut your chicken into small chunks. In a frying pan, add a dash of olive oil and cook your chicken through until it is beginning to turn golden brown.

2. At this point, add your paprika, chopped chilli and garlic, and sugar to the chicken, stirring the ingredients in well.

3. Slice your ciabatta in half lengthways and place on a baking tray. Drizzle with olive oil, and grill until crispy and slightly golden.

4. Add the chicken onto the ciabatta, sprinkle over some grated cheese and place under the grill for �ive minutes until the cheese is melted.

5. Serve immediately, by itself or with a side of salad or potato wedges.

Matt Aspin

Refreshers Carnival So you were too hungover for Freshers Fayre! No worries, you’ve not missed out. Refreshers Carnival is on this Monday and Tuesday in The Venue.

Free stuff is always hot!

Geordie Shore Our guilty pleasure is back for another season as of last week, with the added treat of having all the chaos unfold right on our doorstep.

Sinners Trebles Now £2.50! For £2 a treble I could tolerate the grimy surroundings and the death stairs.

However, at £2.50 I start to ask questions.

No snow As much as we all hated the never ending blizzards of last year it’s a touch disappointing that we’ve not had at least one day of igloo building this year.

Metro prices go up The price of the laziness of occasionally getting the metro from West Jesmond to Jesmond is made that much more painful by metro prices creeping up this year.

What’s Not

What you need

200g chicken breast

Shanna Lennon

18

Monday 6 February 2012

lifestyle

Never have I ever...

A great drinking game, a way to acquire a ‘cheeky’ reputation... We share some of our greatest discoveries Whether you just play it for fun or use it as an embarrassing drinking game, we all love to hear about our friends’ hilarious antics. Here is a collection of the best and worst we’ve seen at Newcastle University.

Never have I ever...

...been so desperate for love on a night out that I was found spooning a wheelie bin. ...had sex in the shower, slipped over and knocked the light out – then continued anyway.

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Dummies guide to finding a Valentine

With only a week left to go until the big day, if you’re dateless and desperate, alarm bells may have started to ring. Very loudly.

Luckily, Lifestyle Editor Emma Balter gives you her tried and tested guide to avoiding heartache and desolation...

BEGIN HERE:

DESPERATION LEVEL: MILD FEAR Go through your phone contacts When single and looking for a date for Valentine’s day, it’s always a good idea to get some fresh perspective. Your phone’s address book is a hidden hub for prematurely-ended romances, one night stands and guys who have always been just your friend but who look good topless. It’s time to do some recycling.

If you find yourself in the following situations, please move on to the next option.

...had sex in front of the Robinson library. Yes, where you sit down to have your cigarette.

...been on BBM while someone was going down on me.

…tried to trick my partner into parenthood.

…got a tattoo on my arse purely as a pulling technique. …laughed at my partner’s genitals. …used a Henry hoover for pleasurable means. …decided to use honey as a sexual food and gagged at the sight of sticky body hair. …got lockjaw at a very unfortunate intimate moment.

Ask a randomer

Now this may seem daunting at �irst but you’ll �ind that you can get pretty into it.

Just like E4’s Sorority Girls, to �ind a date you simply need to run all around campus and ask complete strangers to go out with you on Valentine’s. Better yet, you could put up a stall in front of the Union, get a megaphone and you’re sorted! Shouting out things like ‘you’ll get a free meal out of it’ might help.

If you �ind yourself in the following situations, please move on to the next option.

...looked out of my bedroom window to realise I could see directly into our house’s shower.

Think you’ve done worse? Email us with your stories at c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

DESPERATION LEVEL: DYING ALONE Buy a tub of ice cream

After many attempts to �ind a date, you realise there are two guys who have never let you down. Their names are Ben and Jerry.

Look at your friend’s little black book

You know, the sheet of paper/several sheets of paper/thick bound notebook where you jot down the name of your conquests, when it happened, how many times it happened and little details that make it memorable… or in Ross’s from Friends words: ‘technique, stamina, girth’.

If you can’t �ind a date yourself, why not help yourself to someone else’s tried-andtested?

If you �ind yourself in the following situations, please move on to the next option.

Situation 2 Men start coming up to you asking whether or not you ‘like your muf�in buttered’.

Situation 1 He has a new girlfriend. And they seem pretty happy.

...forgotten my one night stand’s name in the morning and called them “oi you!”

DESPERATION LEVEL: SLIGHTLY PANIC-STRICKEN

Situation 1 You bump into Robert Spy Bar toilets.

Situation 3 You get arrested on suspicion of prostitution.

…had to buy �loss speci�ically to get a pubic hair from between my teeth.

These are just a sample of some of the things we’ve heard and we hope that your time at Newcastle has been as eventful as ours has proven to be.

Situation 3 Wait a minute, I was seeing him too for a while… and apparently at the exact same time. (Whoops.)

DESPERATION LEVEL: DIGNITY GONE

…poked my partner in the eye with my nipple, very effectively ruining the mood.

...returned borrowed walk of shame clothes to the wrong house.

Situation 3 You start getting texts back saying: ‘Who is this?’

Situation 2 You start seeing comments such as: ‘misshapen member’.

…thrown up in a stranger’s mouth the morning after.

…slept with the Prince of Prussia, then found he’d stolen my wallet.

Situation 1 ‘Robert Spy Bar toilets’… who on earth is that?!

Situation 2 You see the name of a one night stand and remember a very drunken night involving you performing a suggestive dance with your woolly scarves.

Situation 1 You see tear drop marks next to some/most of the names.

...called a booty call but fell asleep by the time they arrived.

…had ‘relations’ with two brothers simultaneously.

The Courier

Situation 2 You start talking to him and remember why you dumped him.

Situation 3 He misconstrues this as a booty call and shows up at your door wearing nothing but a trench coat and leopard print panties (this could also link back to Situation 2).

DESPERATION LEVEL: DANGEROUSLY HIGH Call your ex

Now this is risky territory and only to be explored in cases of extreme desperation.

On one hand, the ‘been there done that’ factor means that there won’t be any bad surprises when it comes to the end of the night. On the other hand, the ‘been there done that’ factor means that there won’t be any good surprises when it comes to the end of the night...

If you �ind yourself in the following situations, please move on to the next option.

The Courier

Monday 6 February 2012

sex&relationshipslifestyle

Lifestyle Editors: Ben Parkin, Emma Balter and Lauren Stafford Online Editor: Lauren Cordell

Blind Date

Tashin’ on in the Toon

Scott Fairless, 3rd year Biology, meets Adam Watson, 3rd year Business Management Adam on Scott

Scott on Adam

First Impressions?

As he walked up towards me I thought “Wow! That’s him!

Thank you Courier!” After we started chatting he seemed like a really nice, genuine and friendly guy so overall a great �irst impression.

First Impressions?

Adam picked me up at my house and when I saw him I thought he had a cute smile which instantly made me feel at ease in his company. My nerves were shot when I �irst saw the walls but his con�idence eased the situation and made it enjoyable.

What did you talk about?

We talked about everything from our time at university, gap year memories (I was very impressed by his adventures), work, friends, hobbies, his fear of heights... everything.

There wasn’t a moment of silence as we just had so much to talk about, we even got told to be quiet by the compare at the comedy club.

Any awkward moments?

We decided to do something different for our date. I suggested climbing and he suggested a comedy club so we compromised and did both. The awkwardness came when we got to the the climbing wall, paid entry and he told me about his fear of heights. I didn’t know how to react but he was determined to let me tie him up so he could get up that wall.

Anything in common?

As it turns out quite a bit. Both local lads from Northumberland albeit opposite ends, we both enjoy the countryside and outdoors, like skydiving, like a typical student love partying and are terrible at managing money. He also has a new found love of climbing so that is something that we may be able to do again.

Best thing about them?

It’s hard to pick out just one thing as he seems like a really great guy but if I had to it would be how easy he is to talk to and that he has the intelligence to hold a decent conversation.

Did you go anywhere afterwards?

After part 2 of our date at the Hyena Comedy Club we had a walk around town for a bit looking at the Christmas lights then made our way to Basement for the mandatory skittles and to meet up with Scott’s housemates.

Would you introduce them to your housemates?

As I have already met his it’s only fair for him to meet mine, and it should go quite well as it turns out he knows two of them.

Did you want to go in for a kiss?

Sitting down looking at the Christmas lights was a nice romantic moment and it just felt right. We both went for the kiss at the same time and was the perfect cherry on the cake.

Would you meet again?

We had such a great time that we both agreed to meet again, hopefully it will be soon.

Marks out of 10?

It has to be a 9, we had a wonderful two-part date, ended the night on a high and agreed to see each other again; it can’t get better than that.

19

What did you talk about?

Climbing was a great idea for a date and provided plenty to talk about so there were no quiet moments.

Conversation was �lowing and when he wasn’t scaling the walls like Spiderman many topics were discussed including university life, mutual friends, past experiences and everything in between.

Any awkward moments?

When I had to admit that I had a debilitating fear of heights. Adam was very good about this and displayed extreme patience even when I got to the top of the climbing wall and found I was unable to let go…

Then on the second part of the date we arrived at the comedy club and were shown to a table which was practically on the stage and at one point were ‘outed’ to a room full of heckling Geordies but all in good humour.

Anything in common?

It turns out we had loads in common and are even from the same area. Although we’ve both had lots of different experiences we are both quite outgoing and share similar views.

We’re both partial to a drink so there were lots of stories about nights out and the resulting cash-�low problems.

Best thing about them?

He made me feel completely relaxed which is a perfect quality in someone tying and holding the harness on which your life depends.

Did you go anywhere afterwards?

In between the climbing and comedy we went for a drink in the Union where I work and then after the comedy club we walked into town for a couple of drinks.

Would you introduce them to your housemates?

We met 8 of my housemates in basement but in typical fashion they were all pretty drunk and probably wouldn’t have noticed if I had turned up with Rihanna on my arm.

Did you want to go in for a kiss?

We ended up kissing on the way into town, surrounded by Christmas lights. It was all very Disney.

Would you meet again?

Yes, I had a really good time and would de�initely say this was one of the better dates I’ve been on. It was great to try something different and would prefer a more active date than the usual drinks in Sinners.

Marks out of 10?

8/10. That’s a pretty top score in my book.

Victoria Mole

For most people, the chase following ‘boy meets girl’ can be the most thrilling part of becoming involved with somebody new. For others, whose lives can be abridged as a montage of awkward moments, the chase can be more like sprinting the walk of shame, forgetting the house number to which you should return your clothes loan and realising that you left your pants. Chasing the romantically challenged guarantees you some form of personal souvenir, be it their dignity, their heart, or at times: both.

Fortunately for the female population, 99% of women have the skill of hooking a man they like whilst making him believe that he’s earned the lad points. Men, on the other hand, have the weapon of ‘that look’, not to be confused with the ‘leer’, that lets you know they have unspeakable things involving you on their mind. Few men will ever master this manoeuvre and they’re usually at least 30 before they do.

Although it conveys the same message as your standard creepy street-lurker compliment, it has a dangerous success rate.

The chase is a cross between poker and chess: to have the upper hand you must keep your cards close to your chest and each move should be planned before execution. You need to show interest, whilst being aloof enough to still be desirable.

This can come naturally to some lucky smoothies; alternatively, it can involve the school-girl dilemma of how long to wait to reply to a text, how many kisses to put and whether you’re feeling saucy enough to use a winky face.

I, for one, can’t play the game ‘cool’. I can be so indecisive about what I want and so clueless of people’s level of interest that I panic I’ll either lead someone on or like them too much. I then proceed to subconsciously sabotage it. This often results in people I don’t feel compatible with increasing their efforts and the ones that I realise I like too late being successfully put off. By understanding this dysfunctional mentality and that people will always want what’s unavailable to them: the illogic of ‘hot and cold’ behaviour can irritatingly be explained.

The same person can be persistent in vying for your attention and once they’ve won it, walk past you with a face like Arnie’s Terminator after the wind’s changed. The chase is the period of super�icial feelings before genuine interest can develop and explains why on Take Me Out, exposing quirks denies men dates; your crazy should be revealed gradually once feelings have developed. It’s then that the Star Wars thing becomes endearing.

Time is the only way that real attachments can develop. Chases are mostly futile but they’re fun and really, that’s the purpose of them. You should never need to convince someone to want you; if it’s fated to develop into anything more, the chase should feel like a courtship and when interest is genuine, that person will think you’re wonderful (almost) whatever you do so sabotaging won’t work.

If someone chases you for their own ego boost and doesn’t notice how much of a catch you are, they’re clearly a few brain cells short and you shouldn’t want it to progress; so be careful not to give them your heart and make sure to give their dignity a suitable home.

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Monday 6 February 2012

fashion

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk

campusfashion fashion Charley Hall

Putting the Ugg in Ugly

Miles Freeman They say that you can judge a man by his footwear choice but let’s put that shoe on the other foot. Whilst many girls think that their personality is solely reflected in their clothing choices, a lot can be learnt from what they are wearing on their feet.

Now that Uggs have died the undignified death they deserve it’s nice to see a broader selection of styles that girls are wearing. It must be said, however, that from a man’s perspective not all of those shoes look as good as you may think; as invitingly alternative as they may seem, Brothel Creepers are more Addams Family than fashionista cool-cat.

Having taken the place of Dr Martens, these chunky creepers are about as dainty as ballet lessons from a bouncer at The Gate.

Whatever happened to that trusted old friend, the Converse All-Star? Whether it’s high top or low, they never let you down in public and maintain a certain esteem from those in the know. Investing that extra bit of money into a decent pair of shoes pays dividends, rather than buying value pumps and heels from Primarni that look as nice as the lad you’ll pick up in McDonalds. Granted, being a student is not a time of disposable income but we all saw what became of those imitation Uggs wilting at any sign of actual use resulting in club-footed wearers.

As women’s shoes take a turn in a smarter direction, this year we’re looking forward to more of the feminine brogue and other adaptations of the classic men’s dress shoe.

Suede will be out in full force, thrown on a shoe boot or loafer so there will be no need for those fluoro high-tops that get a walk out once a month. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of the trainer-wearing female, just don’t choose the moonboot option when you’re making that purchase. It’s hard to fancy a girl sporting shoes that make her look like she has canoes for feet.

Shoes and clothing, as clichéd as it may sound, are an extension of your personality.

Whilst some women prefer to totter in heels on a night out, others like to rock out a pair of low black biker boots - the name of the game is individuality. Everyone, at some point in their life, has owned a pair of shoes that are in as good a condition as Boris Johnson’s hair on a windy day but still refuse to throw them away as there are so many memories invested in them. Shoes are the most integral part of an outfit as they’re the only component that we can’t fundamentally function without; certain stylists recommend that you dress upwards from your shoe. Although, I would hope this is not the case when someone takes the abominable decision to wear a pair of Crocs.

Some readers may be wondering what right a man has to comment on a girl’s choice of footwear; fashion after all is an oestrogen-inspired industry. Whilst it is easy to climb onto the fashion-snob pedestal and judge a girl for her shoes, I’m certainly not claiming that the male species is the epitome of footwear excellence. Each and every one of us has rocked an offensive pair of trainers at some point in our lives. However, regardless whether you choose to don some chunky creepers or subtle sneaks, we are literally checking you out from head to toe. Whilst our gender preferences differ, there is one thing that I am sure everyone can agree on: if fashion really is cyclical then when are jelly shoes coming back?

Trousers: Bought in Australia Top: Hollister Hat: River Island

Chester Third Year Geography

Idea behind your out�it? “Wearing this because it’s clean and warm.”

Coat: Zara Scarf: John Rocha, Debenhams Boots: Of�ice

Favourite fashion statement? “I just like wearing hoodies.”

Idea behind your out�it? “I put it together for warmth.”

Favourite fashion statement? “Going out dress and heels.”

Fashion pet hates? “Wife beaters.”

Fashion pet hates?

“Converse.”

Fashionistas’ Verdict?

“We give a thumbs-up to Sam’s layering and colour scheme on this out�it. Denim is always on trend and he keeps it simple with a grey hat and hoody. We love the light denim but we’d like to see his jacket with deep maroon chinos and a simple t-shirt for spring.”

Fashionistas’ Verdict?

“Charley’s coat caught our eye; its barbour-esque material is perfect for the transition from winter to spring. Her slouchy plum bag adds a touch of colour that took the high street by storm this winter. We’d love to see this paired with a tartan dress and heeled leather boots for a smart twist.”

On trend

denim to dye for

Topshop, £38

Sam Mulroy

Elizabeth Hampson and Sally Greenwood

Liverpool Second Year Biomedical Sciences

Amanda Old scours the highstreet for fashion favourite statement jeans wear your denim loud!

Warehouse, £40

Topshop, £38

River Island, £30

The Courier

Monday 6 February 2012

stylingfashion

Fashion Editor: Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor: Rosanna Sopp

Trend predications looking ahead to 2012

21

Sally Greenwood and Elizabeth Hampson bring you 2012’s wardrobe wish list

50s’ silhouette

Technoflorals

Playsuit: Topshop, £48

Cardigan: All Saints, £50 Shoes: Of�ice, £70

A dif�icult style to try, but once you’ve done it you’ll rake in the compliments. Try sports-esque styles such as tennis dresses in eyecatching hues, lycra-esque bodycons or slouchy gym wear with heels. Not a likely pairing, but for this year it is a breakable style rule.

Playsuit: Topshop, £48 Boots: New Look, £20

2

Florals are truly back but with a twist. The high street is teaming feminine prints with electric backgrounds and accents. Try to keep accessories simple in order to keep the attention on your eyecatching garments.

1

Playsuit: Triple S, £12.50 Shoes: Of�ice, £50

Luxe sport style

3

A 50s’ feminine silhouette means a small waist and curves- try a playsuit for a modern twist. A thin waist belt is essential when creating those 50s’ shapes. When thinking about pattern opt for polka dots and pretty feminine pastels.

Cropped Cropped tops are not just for the summer; a glimpse of bare skin around the midriff can actually be very �lattering. Try a cropped top in polka dots or stripes to hit two of this season’s trends in one. Team with a cropped jacket or blazer and you’re ready to go.

Metallics are always a classic look to glam up your out�its. They’re great for an evening look but can also be worn in the day by pairing with a cardigan and black tights.

Try using gold or silver accessories, which accent your metallic and keep shoes simple so as not to overdo it.

Top: Topshop, £28

Shorts: Topshop, £38

Boots: New Look, £20

Metallics

4

Jacket: Urban Out�itters, £60

5

Top: River Island, £16 Jeans: Topshop, £40

Necklace: Accessorize, £13

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Monday 6 February 2012

health&beauty beauty February Favourites

Lipsticks for all your needs

Moisturizing 17 Supreme Shine lipstick, £4.99

Jimmy Choo Eau de Toilette 60ml, £44.00

the newest and best products

Violent Lips temporary lip tattoos, £7.99

Paint these metallic colours over your nails, swipe the lid over them and reveal the kooky and one of a kind magnetised print! Metallics will be huge this season, so why not do the ultimate fashion triumph and match your clothes to your nails!

Lip tattoos/transfers are the latest trend. With designs like the union jack, leopard print and stars available, there’s a lip print for any mood.

This primer, new in February, makes your face look �lawless all day long, helps makeup stay on longer and doesn’t make you look ghost like in pictures.

Teeth Whitening

Fitness

give your Xmas weight the boot

Revlon Matte Lipstick, £7.49

Colour Range YSL Rouge Volupte Lipsticks, £23.50

Neutrogena concentrated hand cream, £2.39 February is going to be pretty chilly, even by Newcastle standards, so protect the parts of you that face the full brunt of the cold with this hand cream- the Norwegian’s know best!

Diorshow Backstage Makeup £22.00

Beauty Editor Rosanna Sopp talks us through the latest way to beat the bulge, fast.

Body Shop Super Volume £10.00

For those who are sick of your post Christmas food baby, but don’t want to spend months slogging away in a gym, a boot camp might be right up your street. Run by professional trainers, some of which are army trained, they offer personalised, no nonsense, high impact regime that promises great results and fast. They’re for all levels from �itness; if you get out of breath walking to the corner shop, or if you recently ran a marathon, these boot camps can cater to all your �itness needs. Noticeable fat loss is promised within 7 days, and with some boot camps literally outside your front door, there really is no excuse not to work off that turkey dinner!

Matte

Maybelline Great Lash £4.99

No7 Airbrush Away Primer, £19.50

Mac Pro long wear lip creme, £13

Maybelline Colour Sensational Lipstick in Coral Crush, £7.19

Skinted

Rich, woody and �loral. This perfume has been dubbed the cheaper version of Viktor & Rolf’s Flowerbomb, so you have no choice but to Choo!

17 Magnetized nail polish, £5.99

Long Lasting

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion Health and Beauty Editor: Rosanna Sopp rosanna.sopp@ncl.ac.uk

Who: Next Dimension Fitness Where: Jesmond Dene When: 6.45-7.30am Monday, 6.007.00pm Wednesday and Thursday Pros: Pay as you go option, �irst session is free, changing facilities and free parking Cons: Limited places available, less sessions available than other boot camps

Who: North East Bootcamp When: Tues / Thurs 18:15 – 19:00 / Sat 09:00 – 09:45 Where: Gosforth Sport Academy Pros: 7 day free trial Cons: “we will MAKE SURE you are there for every training session” Can’t pull a sickie in favour of a pack of doughnuts then

Who: Outdoor Fitness Company When: Where: including Exhibition Park and Jesmond Dene Pros: 30 classes per week, so plenty of opportunity if you have a hectic schedule Cons: at £35 for 8 sessions a month, kind of expensive if you’re a skint student!

Who: Swany’s Bootcamp Where: Jesmond When: Morning (6.45-7.45am) or Evening (6-7pm) Pros: Guarenteed results in a short period, affordable prices and cutting edge boot camp programmes Cons: “Failure and quitting is not an option.” Probably not best for the faint hearted

Minted

Best Beauty Blogs www.etcllymrs.com www.pixiwoo.com www.beautyaddictblog.com

Bargain of the week

Free Body Butter when you spend £25 at The Body Shop

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listings6th-12thFeb Monday

Blood Brothers Mon-Sat 7.30pm Sunderland Empire

Written by Willy Russell, the legendary Blood Brothers tells the captivating and moving tale of twins who, separated at birth, grow up on opposite sides of the tracks, only to meet again with tragic consequences. www.atgtickets.com

Tuesday Refreshers’ Carnival 11am-3pm Venue (basement at the Union)

Did you miss your chance to join a club or society in September? Come on down to the Refreshers’ Carnival for fun, free food and lots of freebies! With over 50 clubs and societies attending you can’t afford to miss out again! www.nusu.co.uk.

Wednesday Krav Maga 2pm

This session is an introduction to the art and discipline of Krav Maga, a self defence system that is rapidly gaining popularity. Krav Maga is an eclectic hand-to-hand system which is tactical and highly practical.

FREE - Email giag.union@ncl.ac.uk to book your space.

Bellydance classes 6.30-7.30pm Dance City

It’s sexy, it’s fun and it’ll get you a lovely toned waist, so why not give it a go? Classes are £4.50 each - much cheaper than a gym membership! www.dancecity.co.uk

How to make a winning application 1.15-1.45pm Bamburgh Room

Basketball

Where do you start? What do you write?

This 30 minute workshop is for those who want to know how to stand out from others when completing application forms.

February 6 - March 12 Venue TBC

Join in the fun and get �it! Women’s basketball from 4.30-5.30pm and men’s basketball from 5.30-6.30pm. First session just £1.

Email active.union@ncl.ac.uk to book your place. www.nusu.co.uk/goplay

Volleyball Creative Careers Week 7pm O2 Academy Newcastle

Hear professionals talk candidly about their careers and give you their top tips for breaking into various career areas.

Chat with speakers on a one-to-one basis over refreshments. This is a networking opportunity not to be missed! Check the careers website for speci�ic careers, dates and times. www.ncl.ac.uk/careers

The Playground 10pm Tup Tup Palace

Ruin your Tuesday mornings with a night out at The Playground. The Playground offers people a stylish two-room environment with music for everyone. Are you coming out to play?

Golf

February 6 - March 12 Wallsend Golf Club

Practice your swing for much less than it costs to join an actual club! Sessions are 5pm or 8pm (please specify which slot you’d prefer to attend) and transport is provided from campus 30 minutes before the start time. Email active.union@ncl.ac.uk to book your place. www.nusu.co.uk/goplay

February 7 - March 13 Northumbria Uni Sports Centre

Fancy your hand at volleyball? Whether you’re a beginner or not, GoPlay’s volleyball sessions are fun, energetic and will help you to get �it! First session is just £1. Email active.union@ncl.ac.uk to book your place. www.nusu.co.uk/goplay

Medieval Aesthetics and the heroic age of Gothic invention 5.30-6.30pm Curtis Auditorium, Herschel Building

This lecture will suggest that theories which see the beginnings of a form of Modernism in Gothic invention misunderstand the nature of medieval invention and attitudes to history and authority.

Great Tyneside Cinema Quiz 8pm Tyneside cinema

Get a team together and get ready for a night of �ilm trivia and fun. Can you win the much coveted Tyneside trophy? £5 entry per team, with a maximum of �ive members per team. www.tynesidecinema.co.uk

Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/listings c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk

Thursday NME Awards Tour 7.30pm Metro Radio Arena

The infamous NME Awards Tour is back for 2012 and ready to showcase the year’s most exciting emerging music talent. Renowned for giving the freshest new acts their �irst taste of national notoriety, 2012’s line-up captures the spirit of 2011 and sets the agenda for an explosive year of music to come. www.o2academynewcastle.co.uk

Kor�ball February 9 March 16 Northumbria Uni Sports Centre

Try a brand new sport! It’s a cross between netball and basketball, it’s a mixed sport where guys mark guys and girls mark girls, so come and have a laugh and a go. You never know, some of you might become Newcastle Uni’s �irst ever team! Session starts at 6pm.

First session just £1! www.nusu.co.uk/goplay

The Courier

Monday 6 February 2012

C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson

6th-12thFeblistings

Friday Fencing 4.30pm

Ever watched Pirates of the Caribbean and wanted to be Will Turner or Elizabeth Swann? This 90 minute session will teach you the basics of Fencing, ending with you taking on your friends in a match. Come and learn some swashbuckling moves! FREE Email giag.union@ncl.ac.uk to book your space. www.nusu.co.uk/giag

Mischief Valentine’s Ball 10.30pm Liquid

Grab your valentine and head to Liquid’s Valentine’s Ball this Friday. Special guests include Squad E, Rob Cain, John Neal and Ben T. All for just £8!

Shinedown

6pm O2 Academy Newcastle

Creative Community Development 7pm O2 Academy Newcastle

From their days as Breton shirt-wearing disciples of The Stone Roses, to million record-selling Britpop superstars, Ocean Colour Scene’s story is inseparable from the greats of modern British rock. www.o2academynewcastle.co.uk

The Florida rockers return to the UK as part of their highly anticipated European tour. www.o2academynewcastle.co.uk

Field Music

Something for the weekend

25

Looking forward to...

Propaganda

Vagina Monologues

The UK’s biggest indie night! Propaganda is proud to present two incredible rooms of music every Saturday at the O2 Academy Newcastle. Room one is an audio-visual mix of the best current and classic indie music and room two is an eclectic mix of pop, party and dance. www.thepropaganda.com

An unmissable show for every generation!

Bring your mum, your best friend, your sister or even your gran – this is the ultimate girls night out... trust us! Starring Anne Charleston (Madge Ramsey, Neighbours), Mel Giedroyc (The Great British Bake Off, Mel & Sue) and Hayley Tamaddon (Emmerdale, Dancing on Ice). www.theatreroyal.co.uk

11pm - 3am O2 Academy Newcastle

Mon 13th - Wed 15th Feb Theatre Royal

9pm The Cluny

Field Music brothers Peter and David Brewis from Sunderland are back with their own blend of music, with in�luences ranging from Kate Bush and Fleetwood Mac to Stravinsky and Stax R n B. Tickets at www/ents24.com

Pilates

Monday 13th February 6pm

Kerrang!

Relentless Tour Saturday 7.30pm Dog and Parrot Pub

SJM concerts present Kerrang! tour sponsored by Relentless energy drink featuring New Found Glory, The Blackout, LetLive and While She Sleeps. www.o2academynewcastle.co.uk

Vampyr

Sunday 6pm Star and Shadow Cinema

Following on from his 30 date Blood of a Poet UK tour in the winter of 2010, Steven Severin returns to give audiences a rare opportunity to hear his new score for Vampyr, the third in Severin’s ongoing film accompaniment series - ‘Music For Silents’. www.starandshadowcinema.co.uk

Pilates is an exercise routine which is great for core strength, �lexibility and toning your whole body in general. It is also recommended by many physiotherapists for people with back problems. This is a beginner’s session with a professional instructor; just bring yourself and a �lexible attitude!

FREE - Email giag.union@ncl.ac.uk to book your space.

‘It Gets Better’ campaign

Monday 13th February 8.30pm Mens Bar

13th Feb marks the LGBT ‘It Gets Better’ night, which will provide T-shirts bearing this message and start at 8.30pm in the Mens Bar, moving to Rusty’s at 10.30pm, Gossip from 11.30pm, and Powerhouse from 12.30am. We are doing this primarily in order to raise a greater awareness of the campaign, as several photos from the night will show up with ‘It Gets Better’ T-shirts in them, and other people outside of the society will want to know what the campaign is all about. Anybody who wishes to support the campaign is welcome to come along to the Mens Bar for what promises to be an incredible night! Email the Union’s LGBT Of�icer for more details: lgbt.union@ncl.ac.uk

Want your event listed?

Email c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk with all the details and any photos you have by Monday 12pm of the week before the issue you want to feature in.

26

arts

The book that... showed me the light

Mallory McDonald tells us how she learnt the real de�inition of feminism

F

or Christmas this year my best present was from Secret Santa: Caitlin Moran’s How To Be A Woman. I’m not going to lie - having no idea who Caitlin Moran was, and having also received a blow-up doll from my aunt, I was starting to wonder if people were trying to tell me something.

Anyway, this book, which I thought may be guidelines on how to be a lady (you know, things like ‘always keep a lady bag with spare buttons in it on one’s person, in case of an emergency’), is in reality a feminist book.

This is when you may go ‘Oh dear god, she’s one of those mental people who enjoy all those horrible things like being equal and respected, I wish I could just waste the day away with my womanly wiles, going for turns around the room and talking about kittens.’

Well, fear not, horri�ied reader, this is not the kind of feminism which forces you to go out and wrestle men.

Caitlin Moran, through her own experiences, presents a form of feminism that is accessible, conversational and clari�ies issues I think modern women struggle with. Things like bitching, which Moran says (and I think she is always right), is not un-feminist.

Thank God, because a world where I have to be nice about Alexandra ‘I add .com to the end of everything’ Burke or Paris ‘Oh my God’ Hilton is not a world I am comfortable living in (.com).

I could not put this book down all of Christmas, despite the awkwardness of family members saying ‘Oh, Mallory’s reading that book about how to be a woman again...’, which was eventually counteracted by the awkwardness of my father snogging Dave the blow-up doll.

Essentially, what this book does is make you want to go out and say ‘I’m a feminist!!!’ It picks up on sexism in our own society, a lot of which us women bring upon ourselves. It tells you: if you don’t want to wear high heels, don’t wear high heels!

This book has made me realise that if I ever get married (which my family clearly don’t expect to happen, or I assume they wouldn’t have bought me Dave) I am allowed to have my reception in Wetherspoons and not a billion-pound country house. It clari�ies that Katie Price is not a feminist - no matter what she says - and she does no favours to womankind.

This book completely changed my perspective on the world and I honestly think it changed me as a person too. Although maybe I won’t start going up to random men and saying ‘you there, I’m a strident feminist’ and kneeing them in the balls, I think for men or women it is de�initely worth a read.

Let us know what you think - head to thecourieronline.co.uk

Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk

What Sting is causing a buzz around Newcastle?

Catherine Langley finds out how love for the Toon can truly be everlasting

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long with Ant and Dec, Cheryl Cole and various football legends of the past, Sting is probably up there as one of the most prominent celebrities to have hailed from the Toon. Born in 1951 and raised in Tyneside, the North East and its industrial past has clearly had an immense in�luence on the singer and still holds a place in his heart. This is evident in his commissioned painting Northern City Renaissance, Newcastle, England (2004-2008) which will shortly return home to the Laing Gallery.

The work was produced on a monumental scale by artist and long-term friend Stephen Hannock, who captures the beauty of the current city landscape with the inclusion of the Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art and features the Tyne Bridge’s emblematic dominance to show the city’s industrial past. Hannock spent many years painstakingly researching, reviewing and drafting out how he wanted to execute this work, so much so that he located all of the closed down mines along the river, which are indicated by the many spots of light that dance around the painting. This seems to suggest that despite the loss of mining industries in the North East of the 1980s, the light of such history burns strong whilst allowing Newcastle to regenerate itself and transform into a new cultural hub.

It could be argued that the colour and general tone of this work is dull and sombre but the artist identi�ied: “That’s a fog bank rolling in. It is a familiar phe-

nomenon in Newcastle and perhaps the ultimate metaphor for how a city and its history have been shrouded by time and tradition.” The idea of Sting’s painting being a love letter to his home city is plain to see in the fact it has emotions and stories inscribed all over it: his heart and soul are present for all to see.

From a distance these sentiments in the paper are less obvious, but this additional dimension makes it what it is, a truly fascinating painterly, collaged land-

scape, which is meaningful to anyone who has a connection to the city. The return of Northern City Renaissance to the Laing also marks the opening of a new exhibition, which looks at other representations of the industrial past of the North East, all of which belong to the gallery’s collection.

For anyone who is a fan of Sting or a lover of Newcastle (and lets face it, who isn’t?), it is de�initely time to visit the Laing and immerse yourself in Newcastle’s beauty and history.

Pride, patriotism and paintings Arts Editor Sally Priddle explains why appreciating sport does not always have to involve venturing outside

I

t is �inally here, ‘Olympicmania’ has not been for nothing, the millions of pounds and the masses of anticipation have brought us to 2012, the year the Olympics come to the UK. This summer our country will think of nothing else, and the world really will be watching. However, for those (including me) who don’t understand how a man running for 10 seconds is worth paying hundreds of pounds to see, then the Shipley Gallery is offering us another way to enjoy this historic event.

The Shipley Gallery is hosting a chance to really experience the ‘art’ of the Olympics, with an exhibition of ‘Athletes and Olympians’. The exhibition features portraits of well-known sporting stars, many of whom have won medals at previous Olympic and Paralympic Games.

A highlight of the exhibition is black and white photographic portraits of Olympic gold medallists Dame Kelly Holmes and Sebastian Coe, and boxing world champion Amir Khan. This is a real celebration of British athletic and sporting talent, with a uniquely artistic twist that opens the world of sport up for a wider audience to appreciate.

Alongside the portraits, the exhibition will feature a digital portrait of the awardwinning swimmer Duncan Goodhew, a

series of 24 drawings of Sir Steve Redgrave by renowned artist Dryden Goodwin, and Sam Taylor-Wood’s video portrait of David Beckham sleeping.

This exhibition �ights back against those who believe art is not for the masses and uses trivial subject matter purely to come under the caption of ‘alternative’. The Shipley is allowing the people of Newcastle to immerse themselves in the patriotic pride that is sure to sweep the country later this year (predominantly when it comes to swimming and cycling, where we particularly seem to excel).

With Newcastle’s own St. James’ Park (which it will always remain, no matter what Mike Ashley says) becoming a venue for the Olympic events, this is an opportunity to appreciate the UK’s stars of the Olympics in a whole new way.

The exhibition ‘Athletes and Olympians’ is at the Shipley Gallery, Gateshead from January 21- April 8.

The Courier

arts

Monday 6 February 2012

Arts Editor: Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor: Lisa Bernhardt

Why do the arts love Newcastle?

1)Regeneration

Newcastle has always had a rich industrial heritage, but over the past twenty years we’ve had a cultural facelift. Elegant traditional architecture mixed with a healthy investment in modern development makes for an interesting city. For example, in the Ouseburn Valley, disused industrial spaces have been converted into great galleries, museums and studios. Establishments like The Baltic draw national interest. This year we hosted the Turner Prize, the �irst time this event has ever been held outside of London.

2) Surprise! We’re cultured

A friend from Cornwall once asked me if I could see Scotland from my bedroom window. There is de�initely a ‘�lat cap myth’ about the North East that is still perpetuated, but (surprisingly for some) we do have running water, supermarkets and, shocker, the internet. Maybe it’s the gentle, lilting Geordie accents, but at times we are largely underestimated as a region and as a result, it comes as a surprise that we cultivate so much culture - we’re really just like ‘down south’, but with colder weather.

3) Sting, Anthony Gormley, the bloke who wrote Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy and more

The North East is a talent agent’s dream. We boast a string of successful artistic types that we can claim as our own. Recently, the Oscar nominations have been announced and one nominee is Gatesheadborn writer Peter Straughan for his adapted screenplay for Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. In 1997 he won an award run by The People’s Theatre for his play A Rhyme For Orange. There’s a wealth of opportunity here for people looking to pursue a creative career.

Moreover, it’s impossible to put all this creativity down to good genes and hard graft – there must be something in the air.

4) We’re passionate (and not just about football)

With a strong sense of regional identity and a collectively friendly attitude, we are the perfect receptive audience for any budding artist. Also, we know a good party when we see one, whether it’s vodka trebles in Sinners or champagne �lutes at The Sage, we are fully committed to having a good time.

And �inally...

5) Nothing beats Newcastle The tradition of venturing to London to realise artistic vision is staid and boring. The North East offers something different, and besides, we’ve got two very important assets that the capital will never have northern charm and cheap alcohol.

Lauren Stafford

27

Previews

Nativities

Blood Brothers

Live Theatre February 14 – March 3

Sunderland Empire January 31- February 11

Pirates of Penzance Royal Grammar School, Jesmond February 16-18

Newcastle’s Live Theatre is known for supporting new writing and talent, with its next contribution being Zoe Cooper’s original script to the banks of the Tyne.

‘Nativities’ innovatively blends petty of�ice politics and post-work pints with a darkly comedic style.

It follows the life of Stella, in her recently acquired job as an administrative assistant at a call centre. She quickly �its in to the family-like team who make merriment of their mundane lives; however, it is not to last. A pregnancy sparks the collapse of the family-like of�ice dynamic and their lives begin to unravel.

Though the of�ice setting is a well-trodden path by writers, ‘Nativities’ seems unique in providing a dark and witty approach whilst retaining such caricatures as former cruise ship singer, Madge (Melanie Hill). It sounds like an exciting and refreshing play.

And if that doesn’t suf�iciently tempt you, The Courier are giving you the chance to win a copy of the play and two tickets to the opening night. Information can be found on the Courier website.

‘Blood Brothers’ has been described as the musical for musical haters. This, for me, is a great part of its appeal. It does not lean on the popularity of the music to bring in audiences. It is a story – an excellent story - in its own right.

Intense and thought provoking, the tale centres on the debate of nature versus nurture. It follows the paths of twins who are separated at birth and adopted into families at opposite ends of the social spectrum; one becomes an Oxbridgegraduate councillor, the other a prisoner.

The twins meet and fall in love with the same girl with tragic consequences, plus an emotionally charged �inal song leaves the audience stunned.

Originally written by Willy Russell as a school play in 1981, the musical went far beyond the school hall.

The comedy and tragedy of the plot line combined with powerfully written songs has won over audiences for years. The songs are apparently never followed by applause; the play is written to �low and intended to capture each audience member entirely. No jarring pause or applause to jolt you back into reality.

Clare Deal

This year celebrates the 60th anniversary of Newcastle University’s own Gilbert and Sullivan society and to truly honour the occasion they are performing the critically acclaimed opera ‘Pirates of Penzance’.

This tale is known as ‘the comedy opera’, and although to some students this may not be extremely appealing, this performance promises to make you laugh, cry and realise why being a pirate isn’t as desirable as Johnny Depp makes it look.

The opera tells the story of a young boy named Frederic, who has worked in an apprenticeship for 21 years and is then released to a band of tender-hearted pirates.

Inevitably he falls in love with the Captain’s beautiful daughter, Mabel, but the course of true love never did run smoothly.

Francis discovers he was born on February 29 and therefore he has not legitimately �inished his apprenticeship and has to work another 63 years. But will the love of his life wait for him?

This is a fantastic opportunity to see the Gilbert and Sullivan society in action, performing possibly the most popular opera of the famous duo.

Email nugss@ncl.ac.uk for tickets.

Sally Priddle

Donna Disco

The King and I

Newcastle Dance Society

Live Theatre January 17-21

Theatre Royal January 24 - 28

Durham University November 26

William Sebag-Monte�iore

Reviews

If you‘re given a party popper and a pair of hideous large glasses, you know it‘s going to be a special night. And Donna, the protagonist of Lee Mattinson‘s one person play, is indeed something special. Everything about the 14-year-old screams ‘outsider‘: she‘s chubby, bespectacled and speaks in a childishly gleeful way, while all of her movements are so clumsy it is almost hurtful to watch.

But then she starts telling her story, coyly sucking on her Ribena juice from time to time, we hear how her single mum is too busy sorting out her own life to care, how she‘s in love with her bully’s boyfriend and how she befriends the transvestite from downstairs. She’s geeky, ugly and a maverick but inspiringly optimistic, and we can all relate to her. Naive and happy, against the bitter reality of life; sometimes kindly hugging us, sometimes slapping us for no apparent reason.

Donna teaches us about the �ine line between cruel and beautiful things, but the end is nevertheless a punch in the stomach that de�initely requires Kleenex!

Lisa Bernhardt

I cannot work out why ‘The King and I’ is so popular. Come to that, why it is still being performed in 2012, with imperialist ideas that are evidently out of date. Anna, an English governess, is hired by the King of Siam (now Thailand) to teach the chosen few from his 67 offspring the ways of the West.

Siam is portrayed as a simple nation; the King, Ramon Tikaram, is played in an oddly childlike manner for a dictator. He was engaging and likeable; although I did not particularly care when he died.

The performance itself unfortunately added to the disappointment – an inexplicably tragic love story not developed, yet supposed to be heart wrenching.

The set, however, is splendid; there is a fantastic opening, the dancers are fantastic, and Matthew Russell, who plays the English boy, has a strong singing voice.

The acting on the whole however, left much to be desired.

The story bases itself around racial stereotypes and the performance was too shrill, too long, and basically, just dull.

Clare Deal

After hours of rehearsals and with an abundance of false eye lashes, the Newcastle Dance Society were ready to take Durham University by storm. It is fair to say they succeeded.

Advanced contemporary dance and intermediate ballet both successfully claimed �irst place, for beautiful and breathtaking performances to ‘Dancing On My Own’ by Robyn and ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay.

Recognition has also got to be given to intermediate jazz and advanced ballet who were awarded second place for their uniquely choreographed dances to ‘Seven Nation Army’ by The White Stripes and Michael Jackson’s ‘They Don’t Really Care About Us’.

The successful day closed with Jasmine Walker being awarded best dancer of the competition for performance.

The whole competition was a real triumph for Newcastle’s Dance Society, whose original yet controversial choreography and beautiful performances were justi�iably recognised and awarded throughout the day.

Laura Nicholson

28

The Courier

musicreviews

Five reasons why... ... Example is an odious cretin 1)He lacks any ambition whatsoever In an interview, Example has pledged to keep making the dismal vaguely-ravey-but-withoutthe-poppers pop which is festering around the top 40 currently. The following quote made me deeply morose for a good week or so: “I have a formula now. Some people try to be too creative and too artistic.” O Icarus! Fly not too close to the sun, lest your waxen wings melt and you �ind yourself ditched head-�irst into the HMV bargain bin. He continues: “The people want uplifting rave music, so I think, why not simply give the people what they want?” Because, to quote Super Hans, ‘people’ like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis. You can’t trust ‘people’.

2) He’s a Jack-of-some-trades, master of being a knob

He describes his career trajectory in his Twitter bio as “Started off singing. Then rapping. Now back to singing. But still rap occasionally.” Upon waking from the stupor that this enthralling account has put us in, we can examine exactly how true this is. Does lethargically murmuring the same two or three notes count as singing? No. His rapping “skills” are making Biggy Smalls spin in his grave, and when you consider how fat he was that’s going to have some serious seismological consequences.

3)He would make an appalling boyfriend

In another peach of an interview, Example outlines his idea of a ‘good date’. He would take the unfortunate lady to Pizza Express, as if I go [there] I’m guaranteed to get asked for maybe 20 pictures. There’s a good chance she’ll want to sleep with you after that.” Even if this sleazing gets you going, ladies, don’t expect him to lavish you with gifts. “I’m good with rhyming words”, he says without any apparent sense of irony, “so I don’t have to buy that many gifts; I’ll just write a poem.” Very noble. And how long do you spend on these masterworks? “Maybe a minute,” he says. Form a queue, girls! You’re worth a minute of his time! Maybe!

4)He’s a total Nan kid

Nan kids don’t necessarily have to hang around with their Nan too much; there are multiple criteria for spotting one. Look at his boring Lego-man haircut. From this we can deduce much. He can’t stand having different sections of his meal touch each other, and covers the whole thing in ketchup, no matter what it is.

He says “For �lip’s sake!” instead of swearing properly. He can’t throw or catch. He ties his jacket round his waist when he gets too warm.

He thinks that he’ll go to jail because someone smoked one joint at the only party he’s ever been to. He wears running shoes rather than shoes or trainers. He uses carrier bags to lug his belongings around. Get rid of him.

5)Here is one of his poems I found in a bin

“Oh [insert name of girl] I love you / Yeah I really do, it’s true / But I think your greatest feature / Is the way you’ll settle for an 8 inch margherita.”

Thomas Nicholson

Monday 6 February 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk

Tough Love

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eeds’ unlikely mainstream radio darlings, Pulled Apart By Horses, have one goal in mind. To smash your brain into a million pieces.

They strike fear into the hearts of ampli�iers and prepare venue clean-up crew for a heavy night. It’s unlikely that you will ever walk away from a PABH gig without sweat and/or beer on yourself, be it your own or someone else’s.

Tough Love is a continuation of this unholy, but fantastic, mess created by their self-titled debut album. But Tough Love is a much more mature beast than PABH. That’s not saying it’s more tame; Tough Love is the musical equivalent of riding a bucking bronco while being shot with paintballs, but everything here seems tighter and more crisp than before. PABH was a very raw, visceral album. Tough Love retains that, to some extent, but here the songs are more likely to push them towards becoming the festival destroying powerhouses they could be. The fact that the �irst single from the album, V.E.N.O.M., which has the ability to make even your

America Give Up Howler

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most timid of grandparents want to smash their best china in joy is being played on Radio 1 is enough proof of where Tough Love is going.

Tom Hudson’s throaty screaming is back once again and very much the focus of the album, while James Brown’s slick riffs dominated PABH. ‘Wolf Hand’ sees Hudson screaming “When I was a kid, I was a dick but nothing changes” and ‘Epic Myth’ sees everyone’s ears being battered by Hudson’s guttural roar.

Tough Love is the musical equivalent of riding a bucking bronco while being shot with paintballs Tough Love is packed with songs which aim to either make you deaf, make you dance, make you break something or all three. Short, punchy and raw it keeps the �lavour of Pulled Apart By Horses but

A Flash Flood of Colour

Enter Shikari

A

t time of going to press, the United States has not yet surrendered its powers to Minneapolis �ive-piece Howler, but should they agree to the demand of their album, America Give Up, we will be �irst to let our readers know.

Those who saw the Vaccines on their last tour may be familiar with Howler, who provided their support… does every new band have to be described as ‘a bit like the Vaccines’? It may be appropriate in Howler’s case (kinda, they’re closer to The Replacements), but that would ignore their richer in�luences. They’re more surf rock, but with a Jesus and Mary Chain style haze around certain songs, and almost girlish backing vocals sweetening others. They’ve borrowed so many elements and buried them beneath buzzes of guitar that it takes several listens to even begin spotting them.

Howler sound like a band who record songs in a hurry because they just sound better that way. Ones that sing tunes, but happily hide them under a bit of noise. Imagine The Strokes on a beach holiday.

The lead vocals are usually too rough to reliably make out, although ‘Back Of Your Neck’ de�initely describes someone as “smoky, wet and hot as a crack pipe”, which ought to be everyone’s new choice of pick up line.

Overall? It’s not a perfect album, but it’s hardly a bad one.

Flash Flood of Colour, the third studio album from the post-hardcore/metalcore/electronicore out�it sees the band try to develop their festival-pleasing sound, shifting into a more dubstep and electronic in�luenced territory. ‘…Meldown’ sounds as if it’s channelling Bloc Party, and ‘Arguing with Thermometers’ is drenched in the now ubiquitous wobble-bass.

Though the band has been mixing electronica and distorted guitars since their inception, here the guitars take more of a back seat, and though the mish-mash gels sometimes, other times it just doesn’t quite hang together, leaving the impression of several in�luences and approaches rather than a uni�ied whole.

The other driving feature of the album is the embrace of a political, rebellious lyrical theme that runs throughout. This striving to encapsulate some kind of zeitgeist could come across as super�icial or clichéd, but the anger comes across and gives the record some drive, though it’s probably not the best idea to take it as a manifesto. The track ‘Gandhi, Mate Gandhi’ about sums up the albums attitude with a tirade against the status quo interrupted with joking interjections to “calm down mate, remember Ghandi”.

All in all A Flash Flood of Colour is a solid effort, probably not likely to win many new converts, but likely to please existing fans.

Becca Price

Ben Partridge

Recommended download: ‘Back of Your Neck’

For tonnes of web-exclusive columns and live reviews, check out The Courier music section online.

Recommended download: ‘Sssnakepit’

Pulled Apart By Horses

straps a nitrous tank to the back and cranks it up to full. It’s nothing new but who honestly cares when you feel like you’re being thrown around the room, in the best possible way of course.

Recommended download: ‘Shake Off The Curse’ Chris Taylor

City Awakenings Mull Historical Society

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t �irst sight, calling a band Mull Historical Society might not be the best idea; who would pull a CD out of the shelf that seems to be a compilation of lectures on Scotland‘s second largest island and its past?

If you dare to ignore the rather dull name and give it a try, you will be surprised by gentle pop tunes and very breezy, unintrusive singer-songwriter melodies.

The man behind the Mull History Society is Scottish singer Colin MacIntyre. After performing and releasing albums under his own name for several years, City Awakenings is the �irst MHS album since 2005 and has already been acclaimed among music critics.

It is a very personal record, about Glasgow, London and New York, the cities that have inspired and in�luenced MacIntyre as an artist and the feeling of arriving and living in as well as leaving a city. At the same time, every song can be interpreted as a love song to a special person, raising the question of how similar cities and human beings are, how unique they are in terms of their characters, how they change our lives and the whole experience of living with them.

If you think this is slightly over-interpreted, just lean back and tap your feet to the soothing, thoughtful and somewhat optimistic songs of City Awakenings while pretending to sit on Mull‘s coastline and take a break from the rush and emotions of the cities.

Recommended download: ‘The Lights’

The Courier Music Forum

The Courier music section comes to NSR! by music_editors11 on Thurs Feb 9, 2012 14:30 pm

Join The Courier music editors and writers on Thursdays from 2:30 til 4pm on nsrlive.co.uk, for music discussion and the best of indie, pop, rock, and electronic.

Lisa Bernhardt

edit quote

The Courier

Monday 6 February 2012

featuresmusic

Music Editors: Ben Travis and Chris Scott Online Music Editor: Graham Matthews

29

Hats off to X Factor hunk Matt Cardle

I

n anticipation of his upcoming UK tour, X Factor winner Matt Cardle caught up with Jordan Lebbern to talk life on tour, the UK music scene and Rihanna’s supreme hotness.

Congratulations on your debut album Letters going platinum, has everything gone how you planned with it so far?

Yeah so far, I couldn’t have asked it to go any better, it’s just brilliant!

You’ve decided to release ‘Amazing’ as the next track, what led you to that decision?

Well it’s around Valentine’s day and it’s a love song, but you’ve also just got look at everything else you’ve released previously. It just sort of made sense, you can’t release the same sort of track, you need the single releases to re�lect the whole body of the album.

It’s going to be part of an EP, what else can we expect from that?

On the EP we’ve re-recorded an acoustic version of ‘The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face’ which I performed whilst I was on the show. There will also be a previously unreleased track that I wrote for the album, but originally it didn’t make it. Plus there will be a live version of ‘Slowly’ from a set at KOKO. Your series of X factor has proved quite successful overall, particularly with the success of Cher Lloyd

#1 Harry

and One Direction, but does it ever frustrate you when their success is compared to yours?

There’s competition everywhere. There’s competition in the form of Emeli Sande and James Morrison, or Dappy and Tinchy Stryder; it’s not just One Direction and Cher Lloyd to compete against. I mean, what One Direction released was absolute pop perfection. All I know is that I’ve been wanting to do this all my life, since I was 11 years old, so I don’t really care who’s selling more or less, the fact that I can actually sell records is just brilliant!

out a dance record and 2011 was completely her year.

Adele has had massive success in America recently, can you envision yourself heading stateside soon?

I think you’ve got to crack the UK �irst before you jump ship over the pond. I have every intention of going over there and trying to succeed, but I need to make sure I have a good fan base here to launch off it �irst, you can’t just abandon them.

Are you going on tour this year?

Yeah, we are going on tour in March, we’re actually going to be in Newcastle City Hall on March 16th, so by all means come along.

Does it annoy you that artists which derive from shows such as the X Factor don’t appear to get as much credibility in the industry?

Yeah I guess, but there are a lot of cases. If you enter the competition at 16, that’s very young.

But by the time I was 16, I had known for about �ive years that this is what I wanted to do with my life. I do think it’s necessary that you go out and work the circuit and get into the studio. I put in about a decade of ground work, seeing record companies and sending CD’s, getting nothing back etc.

Have you been to Newcastle before? If so how did you �ind the nightlife?

My girlfriend is a Geordie actually, so I have been up quite a few times and have de�initely experienced the nightlife. I think we went to Tup Tup? Finally, you’ve encountered Cheryl Cole and Rihanna in real life who is �itter in the �lesh?

Rihanna! All day long, I mean, she really is gorgeous.

The UK is still very much into the dance scene with music, how long do you think it will last?

Everything passes and before you know it things change. People might start to look towards more band-type music soon, but you’ve just got to look at the likes of Adele. She didn’t put

Who is number 1 in 1D?

Cons: He still isn’t taking my calls.

On the record

With a string of number ones under their belts (or braces) already, One Direction have taken the UK by storm, but which members stole our hearts more than others? Chris Taylor and Sam Summers give us their opinions on the Topman Classic album. Fresh perspective. mannequins we all secretly adore. Until last week, I had never

# 2 Zayn

#3

#4 #5 Louis

Niall

Liam

Pros: The Pretty One. And the good news is he’s back on the market, the spell of his Spinster Mistress Caroline Flack having been mercifully lifted.

Did that make her intimidating to duet with?

Yeah it was, but she was just so cool, such a relaxed person about everything really.

Pros: He’s from Bradford. All the best things are! Gareth Gates, Seabrook crisps, Morrisons supermarkets and me.

Cons: His Twitter is pretty boring. Zayne just likes to post where he is.

Which is great for rabid fangirls, not so great for everyone else.

Pros: Plays guitar, bringing a ‘much needed’ sense of ‘credibility’ to the band.

Cons: One day I was browsing in Toymaster when I came across a stack of One Direction dolls. I tried to grab myself a Harry, but it soon became apparent that I was looking at a shelf full of Nialls. Says it all.

Pros: He’s provided the face for Twitter’s funniest account @chino_wanker.

Cons: He’s a chino wanker...

...‘nuff said.

Pros: ‘Payne’ is an incredibly badass surname.

Cons: Easily the least interesting haircut of the bunch. Next to Harry’s wild curls, Louis’ immaculate trim, Niall’s blonde babyfuzz and Zayne’s towering skyscraper, Liam’s mop just sort of... exists. F for effort.

listened to Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours.

In fact, I’ve been knowingly exposed to ‘the Mac’ exactly once in my life, when a ginger girl performed ‘Songbird’ in a school talent contest. As soon as I �ired up this album, I skipped straight to ‘Songbird’ and, I’ll be honest, Ginger Girl’s version was much better.

Rumours was not off to a �lying start.

Researching the album’s background proved absolutely impossible. Fleetwood Mac have been around for so long, going through so many members and so much inter-band boning, that it was honestly just not worth the effort. Imagine trying to research revolutionary Russia, only the Romanovs are �ifth generation Pokémon and the Bolsheviks are every X-Man ever, and you’ll come close. Also, the X-Men are all shagging.

It should come as no surprise that such an absolute mess of a band produced such a musically diverse album, from the tit-about hillbilly nonsense of opener ‘Second Hand News’ to the pleasantly disturbing Oedipal ballad ‘Oh Daddy’. ‘Go Your Own Way’ is basically a power ballad. Like most power ballads, it’s hauntingly awful and �ist-pumpingly epic in equal proportions.

‘The Chain’ is absolutely majestic, sporting an anthemic chorus, a gorgeous bit of bass and some spooky guitar work. It’s the only song written by all �ive members of the fracturing band, and it shows.

If all the tension and in�ighting going on behind the scenes is meant to be what makes Rumours unique, even ‘classic’, I’d rather just listen to a whole album of ‘full Mac’. Separately, the ‘Mac Daddies’ mostly wrote tit-about hillbilly nonsense.

Together, they wrote ‘The Chain’. So while Rumours was ultimately disappointing, there’s enough good stuff here to make me want to hear more.

Sam Summers

30

Monday 6 February 2012

filmfeatures BAFTA the love has gone?

Top BAFTA Successes

5

5

Brokeback Mountain

Snubbed by the Oscars but earning best �ilm at the BAFTAs, Ang Lee’s adaptation of forbidden love is a rare example of a homosexual-themed �ilm reaching a mass audience. A remarkable step forward both within the politics of the awards ceremonies, and also within the development of liberalism among �ilm viewers.

4

Pan’s Labyrinth If not for its foreign language barrier, Guillermo Del Toro’s beautifully twisted fairy tale could have easily swept the awards, immersing the viewer in a warped escapist fantasy. Bound together with solid acting and brilliant direction, this is a �ilm that continues to grow in popularity and has solidi�ied its cultural status.

3

The Apartment

Rightfully winning Best Film against sixteen other nominees, The Apartment is a �ilm lead by Billy Wilder in the most realist �ilm of his career. Whilst emitting a humorous �lavour, Wilder provides insights into sexual morals and cultural capitalism. Its skilful construction and masterful timing earned this �ilm a rightful spot on Wilder’s mantlepiece.

One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest

2

It may be an obvious �ilm, but Cuckoo’s Nest still remains a cultural icon, dominating the BAFTAs and Oscars. Nearly forty years later, it continues to be parodied in popular culture and �illed with timeless performances seemingly unique but grounded in believability.

1

Fish Tank Winning Best British Film, director Andrea Arnold followed her previous BAFTA-winning �ilm Red Road with this powerful outlook of urban British lifestyle, showing the depreciation of bleak lower class societies. Unafraid to display the vileness of urban youth yet re�lecting a post modern coming-of-age story, it matched previous British greats like Ken Loach’s KES. Luke Hear�ield

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk

With the BAFTA awards set to air on February 12, Patrick McHugh discusses their modern relevance It’s time once again to breathe in the lethargic air of awards season, as groups of narcissistic ‘artists’ all over the globe take it upon themselves to tell us, objectively, what the cinematic highlights of the year have been.

As with every other awards ceremony, the BAFTAs (sponsored by Orange this year) have once again latched onto the apparent glory of the Academy Awards by nominating an entirely predictable group of Oscar-baiting �ilms. Leading the nominations, The Artist and The Descendants had awards written all over them from the outset, while it can be taken for granted that Meryl Streep will win something for doing her best Meryl Streep impersonation under a new guise in The Iron Lady. That’s not to say that �ilms like Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and Drive are unenjoyable; the problem with awards season is the lack of range exhibited with each nomination. While it would be fair to assume that on an ordinary day, the majority of BAFTA voters would rather watch the hugely enjoyable Captain America, over the quality, yet slow burning Tinker Tailor, there is a blatant preference for clichéd award-winners, historical biopics and adaptations when it comes to actually selecting a victor.

What the BAFTAs – amongst other awards – clearly lack is an understanding of how people actually watch �ilms.

Rather than picking simply the best �ilm, an awards ceremony would do well to introduce an award for ‘Best Film to Watch

Silent movie ‘The Artist’ leads the BAFTA awards this year with 12 nominations including ‘Best Director’ and ‘Best Film’.

While High at Christmas’ (Harold and Kumar 3), or ‘Best Film to Watch After a Tedious Day at Work’ (Harry Potter).

By simplifying things for awards ceremonies, all the various academies are really doing is giving themselves an excuse to throw a party and give out accolades, with Martin Scorsese receiving an honorary award this year. While its American counterpart has global recognition and international in�luence, the BAFTAs don’t even get a mention on the IMDb’s Road to the Oscars site.

Put simply, the BAFTAs are to the Oscars, what a generic town fete is to the Edinburgh Festival. Everybody puts in

a lot of effort and has a good time, but at the end of the day, if the ceremony disappeared, only a small group of people would care. Although the awards are noted within national circles as a forerunner to Oscar nominations and a The BAFTAs are to method for pushing British �ilms onto the the Oscars, what a global stage, they still remain a footnote generic town fete within the wider context of ‘awards is to the Edinburgh season’. Within the frustratingly monotoFestival [...] if the nous awards circuit, the BAFTAs are just ceremony disapa small stopping point on the road to peared, only a small nowhere at all.

group of people would care.

Coming to a cinema screen near you: 2012 Preview The Hobbit The Dark Knight Rises

The much-hyped prequel to one of the de�initive �ilm trilogies in recent years, The Hobbit looks to continue the success of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings. Gentlehobbit of leisure Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) is reluctantly removed from his well-stocked larder to take part in a Dwarven treasure hunt into a dragon’s lair. Along the way, expect culinary trolls, singing goblins and the appearance of a certain precious ring. Jackson returns to direct the more lighthearted prequel, bringing with him trilogy veterans like Ian McKellen and Cate Blanchett, as well as new faces like Benedict Cumberbatch and Stephen Fry. Watch the trailer and realise in thirty seconds how much you’ve missed Middle Earth.

Rollo Kirkman

The Hunger Games

The death of Heath Ledger may have made The Dark Knight an immediate blockbuster, but there’s no denying that director Christopher Nolan sustained its success. Eight years after the fall of Harvey Dent and the Joker, our caped crusader returns to protect Gotham City. This time we see Bruce Wayne take on the psychopathic Bane (Tom Hardy) and Catwoman Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway). Unfortunately, as Nolan’s gone all MI5 on us, any further plot information is just speculation. With almost half a year to go, and a six-minute prologue circulating in only four IMAX cinemas in the UK, The Dark Knight Rises promises to be one of the most hyped �ilms of 2012.

Burhana Islam

Prometheus

Ridley Scott is back in space doing what he does best; scaring the guts out of scientists on a routine mission which just happens to be jampacked with alien baddies. Tagged as a prequel With the end of the to the Alien franchise, Scott is prepared to, Harry Potter �ilm franonce again, have a group of scientists slowly get chise last year, the movie picked off by aliens because they were so bloody world is in great danger of nosey. With help from Lost writer Damon lacking an adaptation of a Lindelof, and an all-star cast including 2012’s successful book series. Fortunately, part one of talk of the town Michael Fassbender and Suzanne Collins’ best-selling trilogy The Hunger Charlize “She’s doing things Games will be brought to big screens worldwide that aren’t perfume ads?” this year. The story of a post-apocalyptic world in Theron, you can be sure which a group of teenagers are chosen to �ight to Prometheus is going to the death in the annual televised ‘Hunger Games’ be one big mindbender. will draw fans of the books, dystopian and sci-�i Although it looks less enthusiasts alike to the cinemas. It is doubtful claustrophobic than Althat the �ilm series will develop into a phenomien, it still looks no less enon similar to the world’s favourite wizard, but scary; huge ominous it is safe to say that The Hunger Games is one of stone head and all. the most anticipated �ilms in 2012.

Chris Taylor Lisa Bernhardt

The Avengers In 2008, Robert Downey Junior made a cameo in The Incredible Hulk as Tony Stark, informing us that he was ‘putting a team together’.

If you have been holding him to this tantalising promise of The Avengers, well, 2012 is your year. This �ilm remake of the 1960s comic will see international peace organisation S.H.I.E.L.D (run by Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury) put together superheroes of the Marvel comic world to avert some form of epic crisis. I’m sure this is what Woodrow Wilson really had in mind when he organised the League of Nations. With Iron Man, Thor, The Hulk and Captain America colliding, this is sure to be an epic actioner rife with additions of familiar hilarity.

Mallory McDonald

World War Z

With the popular network series The Walking Dead injecting a serum of reality into a genre plagued by parodies it seems the zombie sub-genre is truly making a comeback. The �ilm that will �inalise this shift is World War Z, based on Max Brooks’ bestselling novella, which recounts a panoramic zombie epidemic and chronicles the global breakdown and reconstruction over a long-term period. Linking myriad stories is globe-trotting UN inspector (Brad Pitt), interviewing survivors in an attempt to write a modern ‘post-zombie’ history.

Currently shooting around the UK, World War Z is set to be the most ambitious and expensive zombie �lick ever made.

Chris Binding

The Courier

Monday 6 February 2012

reviewsfilm

Film Editor: Chris Binding Online Film Editor: Hayley Hamilton

The Descendants

bachelor, but his performance is compelling, as a previously aloof father intrigued by his daughters and their enigmatic idiosyncrasies. Matt King is portrayed through a realistic balance of composure in the face of what’s important and fury at seemingly minor details.

There are two unforgivable points: first, Alex, to the dismay of her father, insists that her friend Sid accompany them on this private family adventure. Sid plays the “hopeless pothead” role to death: it’s an overwritten and unnecessary part, tossed in for insultingly overt comic relief for those without an ear for the movie’s stylistic subtle humour. The other enraging, albeit extremely shallow, factor: Matthew Lillard plays the part of Elizabeth’s lover. This is mostly confusing, because... Matthew Lillard? Over George Clooney? Really?!

The plot line for The Descendants is, admittedly, a little contrived. Well-loved wife and mother (Elizabeth) is terminally injured, an emotionally distant father (Matt, played by George Clooney) is thrown into a tailspin of regret and panic while dealing with a huge decision that would impact the entire family, everyone comes together in a crisis, blah, blah. Fortunately, with the support of masterfully acted characters and an element of subtlety, the movie is not a cliché but a unique mix of drama and reserved comedy. Though set in Hawaii, George Clooney’s opening voiceover makes it abundantly clear that living in ‘paradise’ doesn’t necessarily mean that life is paradise.

After a boating accident at the start of the movie, Elizabeth lapses into a coma, quickly determined to be irreversible. Matt is thrown into the family’s driver’s seat, managing two daughters, troubled teenager Alexandra (Shailene Woodley) and 10-year-old Scottie (Amara Miller). Simultaneously, he must decide whether or not to sell his family’s pristine island land, passed down through the family for gen-

erations, and share the profits with his cousins, swarming like vultures for this fortune.

It is the discovery of Elizabeth’s infidelity that ultimately unites Matt and his daughters. Where it would normally deeply fracture a family, it instead becomes a source for much-needed collective catharsis and distraction as they set out to find her lover. After this experience, Matt is able to see his life with immense clarity after such tremendous adversity.

J. Edgar

The Grey

If we can draw any conclusions from the hyper-masculine, gunslinging tropes of Clint Eastwood’s career, it would be that he is a very straight man. So straight, in fact, that he seems to believe that if a man spent his life hiding his homosexuality from his mother, the �irst (and I do mean absolute �irst) thing he would do when said mother died would be to try on her clothes. Or that gay men, even those who work in the FBI, �lirt over shoes.

Leonardo Dicaprio has, yet again, been made up, mastered an accent, got into character and put it all into a �ilm that should be an hour and a half shorter (Gangs of New York, The Aviator, possibly Titanic). J. Edgar offers far too many threads to follow and, when it comes down to it, is an extended drama about an of�ice worker, albeit in the most powerful ‘of�ice’ in the world - the FBI. This �ilm assumes the audience is well-educated on the history of America, and while that may be the case, the ‘in-jokes’ are too blatant and crude for avid historians but too subtle for the rest. The attempt at self-referential humour is hindered by archaic remarks about Richard Nixon and an unrealistic warning of assassination to an overly-tanned Bobby Kennedy, which, like many revisionist historic �ilms beforehand, stokes the clichéd �ires of conspiracy theory.

The overall message and Eastwood’s own evaluation on Hoover is frustratingly vague and thus makes J. Edgar seem like a rather pointless production. A lot of this �ilm is very funny; however, it is unclear whether this is Eastwood’s intention.

Ever since the runaway success of 2008‘s Taken, Liam Neeson has received action-hero status. With Joe Carnahan’s The Grey, he repeats the formula, though this time he’s �ighting off wolves rather than kidnappers. Plot-wise, it’s a simplistic one: after a plane crash strands them in the middle of the desolate Alaskan wilderness, a team of oil drillers must �ight for survival as they are stalked and attacked by a pack of wolves that see them as intruders in their territory. A gritty, unremitting, and bleak survivalist �lick, The Grey succeeds on many levels, and Neeson is the star of the show.

His powerhouse performance as the griefstricken but stern Ottway helps carry the �ilm.

Other characters are more stereotypical, but it doesn’t matter: they represent the ordinary man in the extraordinary situation.

The �ilm itself is truly gripping, with Carnahan not letting up from the start. There are numerous shocks and well-executed set pieces, such as the plane-crash sequence, that will bolt you to your seat. If the �ilm has its drawbacks, they are in the antagonists themselves. The wolves in question are remarkably effective when in the shadows or off camera, yet, when they are �inally seen in full light, they are let down by sloppy CGI and puppetry. Furthermore, certain scenes in the latter part of the �ilm drag and the �ilm could have ended a few minutes earlier.

However, this is just nitpicking of a �ilm that, ultimately, is a remarkable success. Sure, it’s not your typical big-budget blockbuster, but as a character-driven tale of elemental human survival, it’s pretty much perfect.

In his �irst cinematic venture since regaining his nose and hanging up the black robe, Ralph Fiennes, formerly Voldemort, gives it a go on both sides of the camera, adapting one of Shakespeare’s lesser-known plays. Updating the action to the modern day, Fiennes’ Coriolanus envisions Rome as a contemporary, urban city rife with political tensions and disillusion, once again highlighting the enduring relevance of the themes in Shakespeare’s work. With betrayal, war, the mob mentality and Oedipal overtones in play, the intensity here is unsurprising. This is the RSC on ‘roids.

Depicting Rome as a 21st-century metropolis works brilliantly, the mixture of the familiar and unfamiliar giving the opening scenes an almost dystopian, futuristic feel. Images of riots and protests are entirely prescient, bringing things decidedly close to home, while a battle sequence early on plays out like Shakespeare: Modern Warfare.

Though there’s much that really works in Fiennes’ directorial debut, the main detractor is the script. John Logan’s screenplay keeps the dialogue mostly old-school Shakespearean, holding the audience at a distance, when this could have been a really engaging take on the play. The �ilm looks like Shakespeare for a new generation, but it never sounds like it. It’s a technique which worked in Baz Luhrmann’s hyper-stylised Romeo + Juliet, but here it feels distinctly at odds with the gritty, modern visuals. The pacing is all over the place, leaving some scenes to drag.

Much about Coriolanus is really striking though, and it’s often a smart and exciting work.

Sam Hopkins

Ben Travis

VERDICT: While Dicaprio’s performance is at its usual high standard he is let down by a poor script and direction. Can someone please give the man an Oscar already so he can stop pretending to be ugly and do Blood Diamond 2.

Mallory Mcdonald

31

The acting is fantastic, especially that of Woodley and Clooney. Unlike most portrayals of teenagers, Shailene Woodley’s Alexandra is neither comically hostile nor overemotional.

The character’s brazen and foul-mouthed attitude is encouraging, and frequently amusing, and at no point does the character seem exaggerated. George Clooney seems out of place in the Bermuda shorts and loafers of a family man instead of the well-cut suit of an alluring

Coriolanus

VERDICT: A fast-paced, unrelenting, man-versus-nature thriller, which offers brilliant cinematography, strong acting, thrills, and taut direction by Joe Carnahan. De�initely worth a watch.

VERDICT: Its Academy Award nominations surprised me. On the whole, The Descendants is far from mind-blowing, with an element of predictability that’s out of place and slightly disappointing. Highly recommended if you enjoy good acting; not recommended if you dislike Bermuda shorts and loafers.

Maggie McBride

Underworld: Awakening

VERDICT: This is Shakespeare with massive balls, �iltered through the ever-doomy Six O’clock News. Visually fantastic, but though it’s fun to see Jon Snow speaking in iambic pentameter, the dialogue is troublesome.

The Underworld series has always evoked mixed feelings; on the one hand, it’s an intriguing reimagining of the traditional vampire/ werewolf myths in the modern age, there’s a wonderfully gothic artistic style and tone, and it’s got a wonderful supporting cast. Underworld: Awakening must have been aware of my criticisms and recognised them for their merit - and then decided to do the exact opposite.

The previously private feud between Lycan and vampire is suddenly exposed to humanity, who crash the party in a cheerfully genocidal mood.

12 years and a handy cryogenic freezing later, Selene awakes to discover she’s been captured by ‘EvilScience Inc.’ and somehow sprogged a child; she spends the rest of the �ilm attempting to save said daughter from a hidden Lycan cell. It’s a plot that borrows from the Resident Evil series, and is somewhat clichéd and dull, the �ilm focusing instead on lazily choreographed gory action scenes.

With the mythos discarded, the only gothic environment seems shoehorned into a seeming mismatch of high-tech labs and the only surviving member of the series is Beckinsale, who, while looking great in a leather catsuit, is just bland. Meanwhile, new characters tend either to be stereotypical archetypes or not get enough screen time to justify their existence.

Furthermore, the dialogue is entirely lacking the banter of previous �ilms, the demonisation of the Lycans is contrary to the intriguing portrayal the previous three �ilms had worked hard to create, and it’s hard to empathise with many of the characters due to the lack of backstory.

VERDICT: Awakening is a disappointing attempt to squeeze the franchise for a couple of sequels. While not actively offensive, it’s a wonderful demonstration of the emptiness of prioritising action over storytelling.

Rollo Kirkman

32

Monday 6 February 2012

science

Who’s up for a PhD?

5 things you need to know

People who don’t dump down Science

James Simpson interviews Prof. Barry Hirst on new opportunities for postgraduate study Carl Sagan

1

Carl Sagan’s in�luence runs deep. Responsible for the biggest en-masse renunciation of theism in human history, glimpses of the epic nature of Carl Sagan’s vast intellect delivered in his haunting timbre simply stupefy normal people.

David Attenborough

2

The paragon of grandads, David Attenborough brought natural history to a dreary post-war society that frowned upon teaching girls to read. Atten-bro just shows the rest of the world where it’s at.

Brian Cox

3

T

he Doctoral Training Partnership (DTP) is a new collaboration with Durham and Liverpool Universities and is one of 14 across the UK supported by the Biotechnology and Biological Sciences Research Council (BBSRC). They are providing £4.5 million worth of sponsorship out of the total £9 million for the project. I went to speak to Professor Barry Hirst about the project and how it will be different to traditional PhDs. What is the DTP? A new innovative structure of PhD with research training bene�its increasing employability for graduates. It includes a 3 month professional placement (industry, teaching) to get used to a working environment.

When will it start?

September 2012 Main aims?

To widen students’ interest in research by partnering with other Universities (Durham and Liverpool), introducing students to working as a cohort as well as individually. This gives an all-round better experience for the students’ PhD project.

Are placements restricted to the UK? It’s dependent on the individual and availability of placements, but there are no restrictions in place. At the moment there is one student in Australia on a pilot scheme.

How many NCL positions?

Approx. 16 for 2012 but it could change in further years, depending on successes.

Do NCL graduates have an equal chance?

Look how much fun being a scientist is though! What? I like my hair net... Photo Flickr

Yes, we recognise the quality of our Newcastle graduates and they would have as good a chance as any with a decent application A new innovaWould you recommend it to students tive structure unsure about the future?

Well 4 years is a long time and it’s quite of PhD with a commitment, and if you’re not sure, it research trainwill come out at interview. The best thing ing bene�its is to discuss with your personal tutor about your options or look at taking a increasing emone-year research masters. ployability for How would you go about applying?

There are posts on the University graduates. website where the usual postgraduate

opportunities come up. More information is available at http://www.ncl.ac.uk/ biomedicine/postgrad/funding/dtp/ and how to apply. Would you give any advice to applicants?

We are looking for quality applicants with academic standards above at least a 2:1. Subject matter is not important as long as it is around the Biotechnology side of things. An interest in research is a must and voluntary work placements or a good research project will also stand you in good stead.

Lego fly a kite Fruit of

As wise and cuddly as a velvet owl, Prof. Brian Cox of D:Ream is a particle physics supergenius of Dr Manhattan proportions. His jolly little cherubim face infectiously introduces complex celestial concepts to a population who tend to snigger at the word Uranus.

Alan Moore

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk

4

Neo-pagan occultist Alan Moore may look like Santa’s depressive nephew, but exploring the higher scienti�ic concepts of theoretical quantum physics and �loating through avant-garde poetry readings like Rasputin at Mardi Gras has earned him deserved notoriety as one of Britain’s best loved genius-level weirdos.

James Burke

5

Philosophical, thought-provoking and in�luential, not to mention being the man who presented the Moon Landing, James Burke’s musing on the history of science and technology make being human feel much less of an ecological chore.

Mark Atwill

Banner day for Canadian space exploration

T

wo Canadian teenagers performed the ultimate DIY experiment sending a Lego man to the edge of space using a home-made parachute and equipment found on Craigslist, which is like Gumtree apparently.

At a total cost of £254, two 17 year olds Matthew Ho and Asad Muhammad sent the little plastic guy 80,000 into the air using a helium weather balloon. The We’d be like, whole 97 minute journey was �ilmed us- ‘We’re sending four cameras, the on board GPS allow- ing cameras ing the apparatus to be recovered from a to space.’ �ield some 122km from the launch site.

“People would walk into the house and They’d be see us building this fantastical thing with a parachute from scratch, and they would like, ‘Oh, be like, ‘What are you doing?’” says Ho. okay...’

“We’d be like, ‘We’re sending cameras to space.’ They’d be like, ‘Oh, okayyyyy …’”

Lego sent a note of congratulations to the science whippersnaps. “We are always amazed by the creative ways in which Lego fans use our products, and humbled by how many unsuspecting places we appear, like attached to a helium balloon.... in space.”

the toon

Biodiversity initiative kicks off with ‘urban orchard’ project

N

ewcastle University and local Councillors have ‘peared’ up to launch a new biodiversity strategy by laying the foundations of a prototype ‘urban orchard’. A crack team of six-year-old children from Chillingham Road Primary School, with the support of Councillor Nigel Todd (Deputy Cabinet Member for Environment and Transport at Newcastle City Council), helped launch the project by planting fruit trees at Cochrane Park Allotment, colloquially known as ‘wor lotty’.

It is hoped that once established, the local community may enjoy the fruits of their labours for many years to come.

After a learning session delivered by student teachers, the children pitted their wits against one another in a photography competition, exploring Cochrane Park and taking photos of things related to biodiversity. Some very imaginative children declared they were “exploring Madagascar!”, despite the fact that they very obviously weren’t.

Two students attempt to tip over a wheelbarrow together, but due to basic physics simply end up cancelling each other out.

It is through engagement projects like this that the University hopes to promote biodiversity and the wider issues relating to it to both within the University environment and with external bodies through improving the University estate and the local environment.

Staff and students have been heavily involved through the various Autumn and Winter activities, with many more being planned for 2012. If you would like to get involved and help to improve our campus environment or want any more information regarding the University’s biodiversity commitment, please get in touch with the University’s Biodiversity Coordinator, Zoe Webb (zoe.webb@newcastle.ac.uk)

Mark Atwill

Canada launches space program via children’s toys. Photo k-ideas

Cllr Nigel Todd gets involved, enthusiastically ‘watering’ in the new trees.

The Courier

Monday 6 February 2012

science

Science Editor: Mark Atwill Science Online Editor: Adam Brigstow-Smith

IVFing clever stuff T

Funding granted to pioneer IVF technique

N

ewcastle University has received £5.8 million in funding from the Wellcome Trust in order to build a new centre for research into new, pioneering IVF techniques.

Developed in the laboratory by Profs Doug Turnbull and Mary Herbert at the Centre For Life, the techniques utilise nuclear DNA transfer between healthy donor eggs and effected embryos in order to eliminate mitochondrial disease before a child is even born. Incredibly important functional cell orgenelles, mitochondria act as the engine room of a cells metabo-

Picture this Newt Gungrey

lism, so de�iciencies can be debilitating, even lethal.

Professor Turnbull explained: “Every year, we see hundreds of patients whose lives are seriously affected by mitochondrial diseases. We want to make a major difference to the lives of these patients.

This new funding will enable us to take forward essential experiments which we hope will demonstrate to the HFEA (Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority) and to the public that these techniques, which are based on existing IVF techniques, are safe and effective.”

The techniques are ground breaking, the researchers world leaders, currently caring 400 patients with mitochondrial diseases at NHS Specialised services clinics in Newcastle and over 1,000 patients at the Newcastle Fertility Centre at Life (Newcastle upon Tyne Hospitals NHS

Foundation Trust). The University is already an internationally-renowned institution for mitochondrial research and the Fertility Centre has an international reputation in reproductive biology. This new award is expected to cement their places as world leaders.

Professor Turnbull adds: “With this new funding from the Wellcome Trust and Newcastle University, we aim to develop a Centre which integrates internationallyrenowned basic and clinical researchers and trains the next generation of outstanding scientists. We recognise the importance of public support for our work and so will ensure that we open our research for our patients, the public and policy-makers to follow and see what we are trying to achieve”

Mark Atwill

Potential Republican Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich boldly claims that if elected, the US will have a permanent moon base before the end of his 2nd term in office.

James Ricketts

33

Weird Science

The Dorset Blue Ball Mystery

his time last year, the inclement weather meant blue balls of a very different nature dominated the headlines. However, the opening throes of 2012 have seen a very strange phenomenon provoke much debate and speculation.

Late last month in Dorset the afternoon sky turned black, then (apparently) yellow before blue balls began falling out of the sky. Or at least so says 61 year old Steve Hornsby. He has been on the hunt to discover what the objects, blue, gelatinous and marble sized that peppered his home and back yard as he sheltered in his garage could possibly be.

An aircraft engineer- so obviously no stranger to excitement- Hornsby claims balls fell from the sky in a short hailstorm of 20 or so seconds, which he thought at �irst looked like broken glass. On closer inspection, they were ‘jelly-like’ and ‘almost impossible to pick up’, many of them lying all over his lawn.

Naturally then, Hornsby, 61, used a spoon to �lick the balls into a jam jar in order to test if they had a smell, or �loated. They didn’t, and didn’t. Like a choc ice, the balls had a soft centre and exterior shell, and seemed to fall in only a small area in his back yard.. He exclaimed excitedly, “It is the most peculiar thing I have ever seen – there must be about 20 complete spheres.”

Hornsby speculated the spheres could be caused by atmospheric pollution trapped in hail clouds. A jar of balls was taken to Bournemouth University where Josie Pegg, a research assistant at Bournmeouth University claimed they were “marine invertebrate eggs”. They weren’t.

Examination revealed the objects were not living material, so not eggs (or aliens).

Back-tracking, Pegg then said: “The balls do look very much like the �lorists’ hydrating jelly, as suggested by some eagle-eyed members of the public”.

A sample is currently being desiccated for chemical analysis to attempt to put the case to rest. Even if it turns out that the objects are indeed something uninspiring and ubiquitous, like hydrating gel, this still doesn’t explain how on earth they apparently fell as rain in Mr Hornsby’s garden. Perhaps the mystery will never be solved. It has, and it was hydrating gel. Somehow Josie Pegg insists her work wasn’t a waste of time.

Mark Atwill

What a load of balls. Photo ActiveSteve Flickr

34

Monday 6 February 2012

technology

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.technology@ncl.ac.uk

Touchscreens: Stop touching them

Bad Tech

Lies we all fall for “Your mailbox is full, please delete unwanted emails.”

Your mailbox can soon clog up, no thanks to companies trying to sell everyone in the world Viagra and other related products. If you don’t delete them, you’ll get yourself stuck in some sort of virtual mailbox quicksand. My mailbox is already ‘full’, so why, and how for that matter, are you sending me another email, and another email, and another email?

Microwave Cooking Instructions

Touchscreens are everywhere these days, from phones and computers to cash machines and supermarket checkouts, and their popularity is showing no sign of decline. There are numerous “concept videos” up on YouTube showing a future where practically every surface is a touchscreen. But are they the future of computer technology that everyone seems to believe? I don’t think so.

The fact is touchscreens simply don’t make good use of your hands. The human hand is an amazing thing. Just look at it. It gives us the ability to use tools, the main reason we have the civilisation we do today. Admittedly most of us probably spend more time using our hands to hold drinks than do anything productive but even this simple task wouldn’t be possible without our opposable thumbs and the huge amount of information, on temperature, weight, pressure, texture and so on, that the hands’ nerves provide. But a touchscreen uses none of this. When you click on one the only indication of whether you were successful is what is shown on the screen, which, incidentally, you are half covering with your hand and can frequently lag or freeze.

Apps of the week

High Price HDMI Cables Make Picture Quality Better

Don’t be fooled by this marketing ploy.

Cables that are gold in colour may make you feel like Goldie (you know him, the guy from Eastenders…) but they certainly do not make your picture quality better. £109.99 for a MONSTER cable, or £7.99 for one that does the exact same job… I know which one I’m buying.

‘Informed’ Song Recommendations

You recently purchased “Young Forever”

by Jay-Z ft. Mr. Hudson. You may also like “Gotta Be You” by One Direction. Erm, I’m not too sure that is the best recommendation, you apparent technological ‘genius’.

Think again.

Washing machine times

We all wish we had more time in our lives. Here’s a solution: use your washing machine as a clock. “Right, there are two minutes left until my clothes are nice and clean. What could I do?” Probably a lot, considering this is a blatant lie. You could write your last-minute essay, do your weekly shop or maybe catch up on some TV, all before the stupid machine stops beeping and lets you open the door.

We only pass your details to trusted partners

Oh, really? That’s good because I don’t really want to have my mailbox �illing up and be forced to delete a thousand emails about Viagra, nor do I want to delete a thousand emails telling me my mailbox is full. This seems legit. I’ll sign up. One week later you realise that it was a bad move.

Shaun Butcher Technology Editor

Jetpack Joyride is by far one of the most addictive games since Angry Birds. With gold coins, lasers, and rockets, what more do you want? Oh, and it’s free! Phil Larsen, chief marketing of�icer at Halfbrick on announcing that this epic game is free said: “There really is no excuse not to download Jetpack Joyride, unless you don’t like free awesomeness.” So true. iOS, Free

Dragon Go! is the Android equivalent to Apple’s “personal assistant” Siri. Although this app is not integrated into the Android operating system as well as Apple’s voice activation technology, it still allows you to use the power of your voice to make magic things happen. Use this app to search the web, ask for directions or �ind a book on amazon. It’s worth downloading .

Android, Free (Also available on the App store)

Would you like to write for technology? email c2.technology@ncl.ac.uk

Notice the difference between low-priced and premium microwave meals?

The latter usually has more in-depth preparation instructions, along the lines of: “Remove your “not just any old cheap microwave meal” from our very fancy box, remove the �ilm very carefully and place in the electronic heating device for no more than 2.16 seconds. Add 3.5ml of water, stir gently, and pop it back in the said heating device. Take it out after a further 1.76 seconds and you’ll have a beautiful, delicious meal.” Cheaper meals simply have “Microwave for 3 minutes on full power.” What a fallacy.

Touchscreen technology is increasing in popularity, but is this technology counter-productive? Adam Bristow-Smith explains...

You have ten �ingers. Ten! On a touchscreen you use at most three, and even then, only for very speci�ic purposes.

My bog-standard external mouse has �ive buttons, one of which is also a scroll wheel. With one hand I can do far more, with a far greater degree of accuracy and with far less effort than I could on a touchscreen. This applies to typing as well. On a standard keyboard if you know what you want to say you can bash out thirty or forty words a minute. Imagine how painfully slow tapping out a two thousand word essay on a touchscreen would be.

There is also the simple matter of dirt and grease. The human body naturally produces sweat and that, combined with all the horrible sticky, dirty things that we touch every day (don’t deny it), makes for one hell of a messy combination. While this is bad enough on keyboards, it being an oft quoted fact that your mobile phone has more germs than a toilet seat, on a touchscreen you are wiping all this �ilth onto something that you are meant to see through, leaving greasy trails all over it.

The materials used to make touchscreens are another problem. They

have to be the rare combination of both transparent and electrically conductive.

Materials like this are extremely hard to come by to begin with and the main supplier, China, with 97 percent of the world’s supply, has recently begun cutting back on exports of them. To make matters worse these materials are also needed in the production of much more useful items such as solar panels.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we should abandon touchscreens completely, I’m sure there are situations where they can be useful, but sticking them everywhere isn’t just wasteful, it’s technologically counter-progressive.

Ultimately there are many clever tricks and technologies in development to solve some of these problems but this raises the question of why we should bother. If this is needed just to keep level with what we already have is it really the best use of our resources? Surely, in the interest of progress, we should be looking for ways to use our natural abilities more ef�iciently.

36

Monday 6 February 2012

tv

thecourieronline.co.uk/tvandradio c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk TV Editor: Aimee Philipson

Partying on the job

Freya Leete reviews the new series of Party Paramedics Party paramedics, in my opinion, should be in every city.

The new show on Channel 4 openly shows the affect that alcohol can take on all who indulge that little bit too much. Everyone has a story of injury or A&E after a heavy night out, but what we fail to realise is how much it is costing the NHS. Party paramedics are a group of incredible volunteers who choose to spend their nights looking after boozed up “lash hounds”. The bus brings onboard the wounded, the dizzy, and the bizarre. It even has a minibus to take home the people that taxis refuse to go near.

I hope it will gradually be introduced to every big city throughout England in order to reduce the amount of patients checking in to hospital and therefore helping cut costs that will inevitably help our economy.

It not only opens your eyes to how ridiculous we all can be after one too many, but also starkly portrays how many unplanned mishaps can occur when under the in�luence. We are all students, and we all binge drink, they go hand in hand. If this programme has taught me anything it’s that maybe sometimes we should simply consider a glass of water before �inal curtains.

The Courier

If you like this, you’ll love...

Junior Doctors Tuesdays, 9pm, BBC Three Police Interceptors Mondays, 8pm, Channel 5 Courtesy of Channel 4

Coppers Mondays, 9pm, Channel 4

Confessions of a nurse Tuesdays, 10pm, Channel 4

Textbook TV The Crusades

Wednesday, 9.30pm BBC2

For all you history buffs out there, this new three-part series presents a new view on the 200-year war between Christians and Muslims for control of the Holy Land.

Dr Thomas Asbridge, a renowned medieval historian of the University of London, presents the story of the crusades in a whole new light, using fresh research and eyewitness testimony to contest the traditional memory of the crusades as a tragic moment in history, marked by religious fanaticism and incredible violence.

Over the three episodes, Asbridge retraces the steps of the �irst Crusaders as they marched 3,000 miles from Europe to recapture the city of Jerusalem from Islam, examines the lives of Richard the Lionheart and Saladin and reveals how the outcome of the holy wars was decided in Egypt. After receiving positive reviews all over the media, it’s well worth a watch whether you’re studying history or just interested about where the clash of religions originated from.

The episodes are all still available on iPlayer and at only an hour long, it makes a nice change from reading a textbook - and you can still calling it studying!

Buy-itnow boxset

Mis�its

In a nutshell: Five young offenders are caught in a freak storm in London and gradualyl �ind out it left them with a variety of superpowers including invisibility, immortality and being able to hear people’s thought. Cue a whole three series of mishaps, adventures and murders.

Why you’ll love it: Sex, superpowers and, more sex.

Favourite bit: When Nathan accidently kills a girl who has healing powers when he gets an STD. Best price: £11.69 at play.com (or if you don’t want to keep it, it’s free on 4OD).

Mustwatch of the week

MotherTruckers

Thursday, 10pm Channel 4

Yes, you heard it right. MotherTruckers.

Female truckers make up just 2% of the trucker employee demographic but they are a growing force on the roads (as if we needed more women on the roads - JOKE!). Mothertruckers follows several female truckers, as they try to deal with the challenges of the trucker lifestyle whilst juggling a family back at home, whether mothers, daughters or wives.

MotherTruckers featured include former ballet dancer Emma who had to quit due to injury and is torn between her new career and her love of dancing, glamourous trainee Ella who is still hoping to pass her HGV2 test, ex-soldier and transsexual Vikki and matriach Wendy who helps to train and mentor all the new female drivers.

Hottie of the week

Noel Fielding

He may not be a conventional choice, and he’s no brad pitt or channingtatum, but there’s always room for men who aren’t afraid to dress up andhave a good laugh at themselves in the Hottie of the Week feature!

Not only is he creative, arty and intelligent, he’s also a bit ‘out there’ And a touch of metrosexuality never did anyone any harm.

Famous from the hilariously quirky Mighty Boosh series, he is renowned for his fashion sense -often wearing women’s clothes and amazing headwear - and his unusual haircut - possibly the only thing about him which could ruin the hotness if we thought about it too much. Catch him as a team captain on the new series of fun music quiz show Never Mind the Buzzcocks or in his brand new solo venture, Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy on E4.

Aimee Philipson

38

Puzzles

Monday 6 February 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/puzzles c2.puzzles@ncl.ac.uk Puzzles Editor: Laura Armitage

You can find the answer s to this week’s puzzles a thecou rieronli t ne. co.uk/p uzzles

Sudoku

Crossword

Medium

Across

The Courier

1. Prank (5) 4. Small community (7) 8. Everlasting (7) 9. Accolade (5) 10. Wear away (5) 12. Voter (7) 13. Alter or regulate (6) 14. Refuge (6) 17. Repossess (7) 19. Travel lodge (5) 21. Mound of stones used as a marker (5) 22. Sincere (7) 24. Latticework (7) 25. Herd or flock of animals (5)

Down Hard

Wordsearch

1. Subject (5) 2. Frozen water (3) 3. Dog houses (7) 4. Smooth fabric (6) 5. Letting contract (5) 6. Flat (9) 7. Senior (7) 11. Target (9) 13. Fruit (7) 15. Stuck (7) 16. Hot fragments from a fire (6) 18. Declare invalid (5) 20. Supple (5)

the plete d hand m o C n ord a urier ofw s s Co to cro The chance o t in e ar for th Mens B fice £5 ! win a ouncher v ALIBI ARREST CAPTURE CAUTION CHARGE CLUE CRIME, CRIMINAL DETECTIVE EVIDENCE FORENSIC INVESTIGATION MOTIVE MURDER MYSTERY OPPORTUNITY PERPETRATOR PLOT POLICE PURSUIT SENTENCE SOLVE SUSPECT WEAPON

Word Link Find a word that connects the three words

Option

Soft

Toy

Double

Word

Fire

Open

Ham

Riddle Board

Maths Brainteaser Seven friends each has a home aquarium and each aquarium contains a different number of tropical fish. Bill has four times as many fish as Angela, who has three times as many fish as Carol, who has ten fewer fish than Colin, who has a third as many fish as Jenny, who has twice as many fish as Jamie who has twice as many fish as Brian. How many fish has each person got if the total number of fish is 107?

Logic Puzzle ADVERB, CARBON, CHOICE, ERASED, SURVEY. Which one of the following words belongs in the list above and why?

CRATER, INCOME, LATEST, LENGTH, SCENIC.

Sport The Courier

39

Monday 6 February 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sport Editors: Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Barron Online Sport Editors: Grace Harvey and Charlie Scott courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

“Didn’t mean to offend” Continued from Back Page

Shagther Sensless have been forced to change their name to Shakhtar FC Photography: Hubert Lam

The League of Gentlemen

•Scathing attack on ‘sexist’ Intra Mural team name unwarranted COMMENT

By Harry Slavin Sports Editor Over the long winter break, two stories emerged from the world of Intra Mural football; one of genuine significance, the other of a rather trivial nature.

The news of significance generated a great deal of national interest as people rightly took exception to a phrase that unquestionably causes offence to a specific group of people in society.

The complaint lodged against an Intra Mural football team in connection with the ‘inherent sexism’ of its name was not this story and Shagther Senseless was not the phrase in question.

While one student found himself caught up in a media whirlwind involving a renowned footballer and racism on a social networking site, another student was seeking to condemn a whole institution for allowing sexism and the objectification of women to thrive in its community. In December an email was received by the Students’ Union informing them of the offense and apparent connota-

tions of the two team names ‘Shagther Senseless’ and ‘Shakthar Last Night’.

The complainant, who, perhaps surprisingly, happened to be male, indicates in his correspondence that the names were both ‘derogatory’ and ‘offensive’ to women, and even went as far to say that ‘Senseless’ insinuated and poked fun at ‘rape and sexual violence towards women.’

I have heard claims of match fixing and even murmurs of bribery during my many years as an Intra Mural player, but this is, without question, the most ridiculous accusation levelled at any Intra Mural football team I have ever heard. To say that any team promotes the objectification of women just by the tongue-in-cheek pun they use for their team name is inflammatory and extremely unjust.

Intra Mural teams consist of a bunch of students who are playing football for the love of it, trying to keep some sort of fitness during their turbulent university years and the occasional left back still grasping firmly to their rapidly dying dreams of making any sort of name for themselves in the lower tiers of Scottish Football. These are teams filled with historians and civil engineers, not Titus Brambles and Marlon Kings.

Newcastle’s Intra Mural football setup is extensively covered by both The Courier and the University, which does mean that care has to be taken not to cause offense with regards to team names. While it is entirely possible that every woman on campus may skip the back pages every week and consequently be completely oblivious to the name, the fact that there has only been one single complaint speaks volumes.

While there are obvious connotations of sex in the names, the jump to conclude that there is a reference to sexual violence is one that eludes myself and seemingly just about every other person that has come across them.

However, if the names have caused one student to step forward it is probably safe to assume that there will be others who have not contacted the Union or the University who also take offense. As a result it is important to acknowledge the steps taken by the Sports Centre and the Union in ensuring the complaint was dealt with swiftly and in the correct manner.

The action taken hasn’t thus far resulted in a change of policy for the Sports Centre on the freedom with which Intra Mural teams have to cre-

ate their name, but there is every possibility that action may now have to be taken to restrict this ability.

It will also be interesting to see whether or not there are repercussions for other Intra Mural sports, such as 7-a-side football, where there are a number of club names that could be argued as offensive or even sexist.

In any case, it is my belief that any subsequent changes would fail to benefit the Intra Mural setup in any way whatsoever.

One of the main attractions of playing Intra Mural sport is its relaxed nature; by slapping restrictions on team names it detracts from the laid back view in which the competitions are held and played.

So, as we count down the days until Dyslexic are reprimanded for taking a rise out of those with learning difficulties and The Hurricanes disband due to the humiliation they cause those who have suffered at the hands of natural disasters, the names Shakhtar FC and Shakhtar LN make their first appearances in the Intra Mural arena.

The sides have dealt with the issue in commendable fashion, with grace and humility, actions which resemble the true gentlemen they really are.

between the complainant and the two team captains, and made the decision to change the names of the two teams.

He said that when the complaint was received, the decision was taken immediately to change the names.

‘I saw the complaint and we decided to change it straight away. We didn’t want to offend anyone and so it was changed. They [the managers] wanted the name to be a bit of fun, but it offended someone. They are both quite new teams and they don’t have a long history with the name, they were just a new team who wanted it to be fun.’

‘They were always happy to change it, as soon as the captains heard about it they had no stubbornness about changing the names straight away. So fair enough, it has offended people and we are happy to change it.’

Robbie Cachia, manager of Shagther Senseless said ‘to be honest we didn’t mean to offend anyone but if people find it offensive then we apologise for this and move on with a new name.’

The newly named Shakthar FC play in the Third Division on a Wednesday whilst Shakthar LN play in the Third Division on a Saturday.

The complaint comes at a time where the footballing world is still trying to ditch its tag as a sexist community; Ipswich manager Paul Jewell’s recent quotes about the decision making of a female official having recently brought the subject back into the media spotlight.

It remains to be seen how rigid the policy of naming university teams will become after this, and whether team names will be vetted more rigorously in future to prevent any further offense or complaint.

‘REMEMBER THE NAME’ Classic Intra Mural Teams INTER MINAN

Inter Minan’s dominance in the 06’-07’ campaign lead to a picture of an unsuspecting pensioner accompanying the couriers league tables as the side sat top of the tree.

JESMOND LYNAM

Who better to name your side after than a man who graced BBC, ITV and Setanta with marked eloquence and timing.

PAMELA ANDERLECHT

A truly marvellous team name that pays homage to the definitive pin up girl.

FENHAM BACHE

Another fine example of how the Newcastle’s localities can be manipulated for great amusement.

40.sportfeature

Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

King Djokovic set to reign again

After his epic Australian Open win, Freddie Caldwell predicts more success for the Serb Despite the fact that it is only early now worth looking in more detail at February, the 2012 tennis season is the prospects for the coming season already well underway and the first for each of the big four.

Novak Djokovic dominated 2011, Grand Slam of the year, the Australian Open, was retained by last year’s winning the Australian and US Opens as well as Wimbledon to become golden boy Novak Djokovic. Lookworld number one. Although he ing back at this first major tournament of the year should give suffered with injury towards the end of the season, the Serb began us a good idea of what to expect this campaign in the same vain for the rest of the season. as he did the last; in fact his vicThe first thing to note is that tory in Australia was perhaps more tennis’s ‘big four’ of Novak impressive this year, overcoming a Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Rogfive hour semi-final against Andy er Federer and Andy MurMurray and then triumphing ray look set to dominate again. Until a few years over Rafael Nadal in the longest ago the ‘big four’ was final in history. The performance usually a term that was emphasised the importance of associated with football, fitness in the modern game, an aspect that is clearly a strong suit however, the changes in for Djokovic. The world numthe relative supremacy ber one’s bottomless pit of enof certain teams in the ergy and new found fighting Premier league and the spirit makes him the improvements made by favourite to retain Djokovic, Nadal, Federer his titles at Wimand Murray have meant bledon and that is now far more applicaFlushing ble to tennis.

Meadows.

This is not to discredit the efRafael Nadal must feel like forts of other tennis players on the unluckiest man in sport: the circuit: Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Tohaving finally achieved domimas Berdych and a few others have nance over the genius that is occasionally had success in taking on Roger Federer, the Spaniard the players ranked at the top of the has been usurped at the top game, but their failure to do so on a of the sport by Djokovic. consistent basis has meant that they have been unable to break Luckily for tennis fans, there into games elite. This is simply is no doubt that Nadal will because the tennis that is bedo everything in his power ing played by the very to push his new rival all the top players is of such a way, as was evident from his high technical standbrilliant performance in the Getty ard and is also so physiAustralian Open final which Images cally demanding that it would surely have been is very tough for any other enough to beat any player to reach that level. It is other player on the

tour. While many pundits consider Djokovic’s game the perfect antidote to Nadal’s accurate bludgeoning style, the six-time French Open champion will be favourite to retain his Roland Garros title on his beloved clay.

Roger Federer is the elder statesman of the tennis big four, but that should not stop him being a threat to the rest of the players in 2012. It does not appear that the level of his tennis is much lower now than it was when he was completely dominating the game a few years ago. He is still capable of winning major tournaments, for example the World Tour Finals which he won at the end of 2011. He will probably struggle to outperform Nadal and Djokovic over five sets in 2012 - he lost to Nadal in four sets in the Australian Open semi-final - and consequently he may be unable to add to his already impressive collection of Grand Slams.

However, he will enjoy the fact that the Olympic tennis tournament is due to be played at Wimbledon where the Swiss master has always produced his best tennis. Depending on whether the top two bring their A-game to the Olympics, Federer could achieve his dream of winning singles gold in London.

Andy Murray is very much the nearly man of the big four, given that he is still searching for his first Grand Slam title despite reaching three grand slam finals. He has recently appointed Ivan Lendl as his new coach and this change did seem to help him at the Australian Open where he played some of the best tennis of his career in his epic five set defeat to Djokovic in the semi-final. He is definitely still improving as a player, but so are his opponents. Unless some of the other members of the big four are injured,

Back of the net Video of the week

Testing times 1.) Which player has picked up the most yellow cards (excluding reds) in the Premier League since its formation?

2.)Which Premier League player is Lord of the Manor of Frodsham?

3.) Which Rugby player is the all time six nations leading try scorer?

4.) Who is the heaviest player in the Premier League?

5.) Demba Ba has the most Premier League goals of any player with a two letter surname, but which Premier League player holds the record for the most goals with a three letter surname?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNlAYipLmPo

A superb time-lapse video of Barcelona’s match against Osasuna in January. Lovely soundtrack too...

Spot the ball 1

A B

C

D

E

F

G

H

2 3 4 5 6

Guess which grid the ball should be in and send your anwser to courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk to enter a draw to win a £5 Mens Bar voucher.

1)Lee Bowyer, 99; 2) Djibril Cisse; 3) Brian O’Driscall, 25; 4) Richard Dunne; 5) Tore Andre Flo, 38.

Time-lapse Camp Nou- Barça vs Osasuna

This week in sport

University Sport: 2008: Newcastle Uni defeat Northumbria 54-40 to win the Stan Calvert trophy, with the Men’s Rugby Union side securing a vital 33-15 win late on in the tournament.

Intra Mural: 1999: Football side Racing P-Lantander are fined £30 and docked three points for repeated abusive language towards match officials.

National: 1958: Seven Manchester United players are among the 21 dead in the Munich Air Disaster.

Djokovic and Nadal hug it out after their latest epic at the Australian Open Getty Images

it seems unlikely that this will be the year that he breaks his Grand Slam duck. However, the Scot does have the potential to move up the rankings

to third as he did last year, should he outperform Federer over the course of the season.

Tweet of the week

-@Max Rushden ‘Susan, what are you saying? As always @doctorkk - if you need a place to stay, I’m here for you...’(2 February 2012) Soccer AM presenter Max Rushden live-tweeting during an episode of Neighbours last week

Birthday Week

6 Feb 1984: Darren Bent Aston Villa and England footballer who once gave our Online Editor Charlie Scott a hug outside Floritas.

9 Feb 1970: Glenn McGrath Former Australian cricketer, and one of the most highly regarded fast-medium pace bowlers in cricket.

7 Feb 1991: Harry Slavin Scottish, glove-wearing Sports Editor and Intra Mural workhorse, filling the overseas quota for The Hurricanes.

The Longshot

The Super League kicked off again this weekend and with Widnes returning to the league The Courier fancies the side from the north west to cause a stir. Ladbrokes are less optimistic, but worth a flutter if you too, like Hot Chocolate, believe in miracles.

(Odds from Ladbrokes)

300/1

The Courier

intramuralsport.41

Monday 6 February 2012

Back to the drawing board for Crayola after traumatic last gasp Medics defeat INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL DIVISION ONE (WEDS)

1

Crayola Rech 53

Newcastle Medics 1sts 2 Rammell 40, Edwards 88

By Charlie Scott at LONGBENTON

Storey

Howard

Grayston

Moat

Priestley

Bexton

Graham

Eaton

Robinson

Rech

Cross

Adjetey

Campbell

Rammell

Edwards

Leylabi

Fretwell

Emms

Durkin

Dhand

Jones

Styles

Dave Edwards’s late winner for Medics 1sts broke the hearts of Crayola players and fans alike at Longbenton on Wednesday afternoon. The relief etched on the Medics team’s faces was clear to see when Edwards beat Ben Storey with a near post header in the dying minutes to securing their first win on a grass pitch since March last year.

It was the Medics who dominated large periods of the match but they struggled to break through a resilient Crayola defence marshalled by goalkeeper Storey and vocal centre-back Scott Grayston.

In fact, despite the media hype surrounding the fully-kitted Medics side, it was Crayola that started the brighter, and Ben Cross came close to opening the scoring for them when he drove an effort just wide after some decent hold-up play by Daniel Rech had allowed Alex Eaton the time and space to fashion a shot.

Tempers flared as the half wore on and a number of challenges from players on either side could easily have been greeted with a yellow card by the referee but his decision-making was such that there were whispers on the sidelines that he may have in fact forgotten to bring his cards to the game.

The deadlock was broken when James Rammell, promoted from the Medics’ second team for this tie, gave his side the lead. Having earlier headed a wonderful Rishi Dhand cross miles wide he made amends by calmly slotting past Storey after a decisive run and pass from the impressive Ramin Leylabi.

Having scored the first goal, the Medics eased off the gas before halftime and they must have thought their work was done when Crayola were reduced to 10 men; central midfielder Eaton left the field injured with a selfdiagnosed broken metatarsal but with no substitute to replace him, his side were forced to continue a man down.

The Medics were themselves forced into making a substitute shortly afterwards, when Adam Priestley left such a mark on the right-back Nick Jones that he had to be withdrawn and replaced by Ben Emmerson and, despite their numerical advantage, the defending champions were soon pegged back by a superbly taken goal by Rech for Crayola.

The striker, who had proved troublesome for the Medics’ backline all afternoon, produced a turn straight from the top drawer to evade the attention of Niall Durkin on the edge of the Medics area and fire confidently into the back of the net to bring his side level.

For the remaining half hour Medics hurled men forward in search of

Shakhtar FC Roman Villa Islip 30, 35

0 2

By Robbie Cachia at CLOSE HOUSE Tom Islip’s two clinical finishes in an evenly contested match at Close house pushed Roman Villa to within touching distance of the division three title.

Shakhtar FC started in the ascendancy, winning the battle in midfield and creating pressure down the right through Holland and Montgomery.

However they were unable to take the few chances they created and half an hour into the first half, Villa struck showing their clinical edge. For the first time Drew Johnston skilfully made his way through the Shakhtar midfield creating space before provid-

ing a delightfully weighted ball splitting the oppositions defence for Tom Islip to coolly finish into the bottom left hand corner, Lamont helpless in the goal.

Five minutes later, Islip completed his brace with a goal of superb technique and quality. A ball splitting the Shakhtar centre backs was chested down by the big forward before he cut the ball back avoiding Holland’s slide tackle and then curled the ball with the outside of his foot into the top corner. A very even half came to an end with Villa two goals up and looking comfortable.

The second half was a scrappy, frantic affair, with Shakhtar trying to push the tempo in order to achieve an unlikely comeback. The majority of the possession went to the trailing side but they never looked like scoring, failing to test Villa’s keeper, wasting countless free kicks and corners.

When the clear cut chance did come Shakhtar failed to take it, debutant Dave Sweatman who recently made the transition from rugby to football,

ta s i s s A r e g a Man

#10 Injuries and Bargain Buckets

Medics 1sts secured their first win on grass in almost a year on WednesdayPhotography: Hubert Lam

a winner but were met by some resolute defending from not only Crayola’s centre-back pairing of Grayston and James Moat, but also the crossbar.

It was Leylabi who was left cursing when his fine effort from distance came crashing back off the frame of the goal with Storey scrambling.

Some last-ditch defending from Priestley and Grayston stopped Nathan Campbell from going through one-on-one with Storey on a number of occasions, while the ‘keeper also pulled off a fine save to deny Medics substitute Alistair Watson.

It was just as Crayola seemed to have weathered the Medics storm however, that Edwards struck with just minutes remaining. Dhand was influential in

the goal, showing Priestley a clean set of heels down the right before swinging an inviting cross to the front post where Edwards was gleefully on hand to head past a distraught Storey.

The inconsolable ‘keeper spoke of his pride at ‘how hard we pushed them with 10 men’ while pointedly expressing his disappointment that the likes of ‘Tom Womersley’ were unavailable for selection due to being preoccupied ‘parading on the slopes’.

Having finally broken their grass pitch hoodoo, the defending champions can now look to push on from their current mid-table position and attempt to claw back Barca Law Na’s 10-point lead over them as they chase a fourth consecutive title.

Villains close in on Division Three title INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL DIVISION THREE (WEDS)

The Secret Intra Mural Footballernt

embarked on an impressive run down the left playing a great ball across the box, Tomlinson failing to get a touch on the ball with the goal at his mercy.

The referee who made wrong decision after wrong decision for both teams, failed to award a penalty after a blatant foul in the box on Pat Woods by Drew Johnston.

The game petered out with Villa comfortable at the back, hitting Shakhtar on the counter. The league leaders came close to scoring twice more with Islip denied a hat trick, the ball agonisingly going over the bar. Villa captain Rob Grady was kept quiet for most of the game and wasted a couple of chances late on to extend Villa’s lead.

Overall Villa’s composure and class in front of goal proved the difference in a competitive match that Shakhtar will need to pick themselves up from before their tricky tie against Jesmondino.

Villa meanwhile still boast the only 100 per cent record still intact in the Intra Mural leagues and are all set

to win their second league title in as many seasons.

Ibson

Norris

Smith

Rose

Millington Johnston

Carey

Grady Golightly

O’Hanlon Islip

Tomlinson

Montgomery Dykes

Holland

Sleath Lamont

Woods

Garrood

Eagling

Cachia

Pugh

Disaster struck before Christmas as yours truly experienced a seasonending, possibly career-threatening knee injury in the last league match of the semester. To make matters worse, when I left the field of play my team were winning 2-1, I had got on the scoresheet and enacted a ridiculous celebration that involved a mask of my chairman’s face. We went on to lose 6-4.

After experiencing some surprisingly prompt NHS care I’ve an operation lined up in a couple of months but have been categorically told that my Intra Mural football playing career is over.

As you can imagine I was pretty distraught when given the news. I was inconsolable. I tried to shrug off the news by creating myself on FIFA 12 but even that failed to dull the pain and disappointment of knowing I will never pull on the luscious polyester cotton shirt of my beloved team.

The chairman assures me that I’ll be paid until my current contract expires in June, but, unlike Wayne Bridge, I felt guilty picking up my lucrative pay packet at the end of each week without giving anything back to the club.

I’ve offered my services in a coaching capacity to the manager and he has kindly appointed me as assistant manager.

In our first game since the winter break, we started superbly, playing some of the best football I’ve seen us play and racing into a comfortable lead by half-time. I refuse to link the style and effectiveness of that half with my absence…

The undoubted highlight of a vibrant half was the erratic behaviour of our electric striker who managed to combine terrorising the opposition’s defence, with vomiting in the bin on the side of the pitch. He was subbed off following his second trip to the bin in the first half, and apologised at halftime, claiming, ‘I went out last night and came home, had a smoke and ate a whole bucket of chicken’.

Excruciatingly, the cliché ‘a game of two halves’, summed up this match perfectly, as we capitulated in the second half, throwing away a three goal lead.

We’re right in the thick of a relegation battle following that solitary point and our manager has since demanded maximum points from our remaining three games. If we can learn how to play in the second half and our pacey frontman can stay off the chicken the night before games, we may just have a chance of staying up.

42.sportintramural

Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

Hendo triumph in Battle of the Halls INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL DIVISION ONE (WEDS) 4

Henderson Hall

Watson 2, McAllister 11, Zafar 24, Jones 48

Castle Leazes

1

Savitt 68

By Daniel Carnie at COCHRANE PARK Davies

Alcock

Warburton

Allsop

Decesere

Jones

Tollasson

Scott

Zafar

McAllister

Watson

Savitt

A.Jones

Dacey

Handman

D.Jones

Green

Barbour

Fisher

Parker

Levrant

Cook

Having been on a poor run of form and succumbing to a 7-0 humiliation at the hands of Barca Law Na in their last Wednesday league match before Christmas, it was vital that Castle Leazes got off to a bright start in their clash with an on-form Henderson Hall side. However, it was an all too familiar tale for Leazes whose endeavour was not matched on the scoreboard as they fell to a 4-1 defeat at the hands of traditional rivals Henderson Hall. The combination of slack defending and lack of creativity means they will do well to stay in the top division come the end of the season.

The opening goal of the match came after only two minutes and set the tone for a hectic opening period.

Sean Watson was the beneficiary as he stumbled through the middle of the Leazes backline and shot past the helpless Ollie Cook.

It didn’t take Henderson long to press home their advantage as a long free kick from captain Matty Allsop came to Liam ‘one foot wonder’ McAllister at the back post and he smashed home a majestic volley from what seemed like an impossible angle.

You will be hard pushed to see a better goal in the league this season.

Henderson began to play with a swagger and not even a horrendous dive from Tom Barbour of Leazes could prevent them from going further ahead. After a nice passing move,

Armani Zafar picked up the ball on the left hand side and turned Jamie Levrant inside out before tucking the ball inside the left hand post.

Leazes, to their credit, managed to weather the storm but rarely threatened and went in at half-time only 3-0 down. Sadly, their good work in the latter stages of the first half went to waste as they conceded another goal only a couple of minutes after the restart. It was Zafar causing havoc once again down the left hand side as he cut the ball back from the by-line to a grateful Lewis Jones who had the simple task of passing the ball into the net.

At this point Henderson took their foot off the pedal and Leazes began to come back into the match. Kyle Hyndman had a good chance after a scramble from a corner but Rory Davies made a good save at his feet.

University first team striker Ed Savitt then had a go himself but his powerful shot was tipped round the post.

His chance proved to be merely target practice however as he got Leazes a consolation goal when Henderson’s keeper Davies misplaced his kick straight to the grateful striker who chipped the ball back over the keeper’s head and in off the post.

The sting had long been taken out of the contest by this point, however, and the match was beginning to fizzle out before a stinging drive by Sean Watson was tipped on to the bar by Ollie

Leazes have struggled this season, picking up just one point Photography: Hubert Lam

Cook. The ball clearly dribbled over the line but the referee chose not to award a goal. It was one of a number of strange decisions from the referee who never left the centre circle for the duration of the 90 minutes.

That proved to be the last action of the match and it can’t be disputed that

Henderson Hall deserved the victory but had it not been for such a sluggish start, Leazes could well have made a better fist of it. They may have plenty of heart and effort but that will not be enough to save them from the drop.

The Courier

sportintramural .43

Monday 6 February 2012

New bosses inspire easy victory for Barca INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL DIVISION ONE (WEDS) Barca Law Na

Allinson (pen) 14, Rawlings 18, 55

tacking role in the side and was in the thick of the action once again; this time the striker went on a mazy run, working his way into a scoring opportunity and clashing with Aftermath keeper Dan Turner. The challenge seemed fairly innocuous but despite a lack of appeal, referee Steve Catchpole pointed to the spot and Barca Law Na centre back Dan Allinson fired the penalty into the roof of the net.

It wasn’t long before Barca doubled their advantage. Alex Hoctor made it to the by-line and pulled the ball back for Rawlings who nipped in front of Turner to make it 2-0. Rawlings almost turned provider shortly after; the striker’s corner found the head of Allinson who was inches away from scoring his second as the ball hit the underside of the bar and was cleared for another corner.

The league leaders carried on where they left off in the second half, pinning the opposition in their own half from the whistle and soon reaped the rewards. Rawlings, a constant nuisance for the Aftermath backline all afternoon, was played in by Dave Baggot and expertly dinked the ball over the keeper for his second.

Barca were in total control but After-

3 0

Aftermath

By Rory Brigstock-Barron at LONGBENTON 3G Barca Law Na went into this game without former captain Josh Cryer, choosing not to involve the midfielder while his court case looms heavy over the club. The league leaders seemed unfazed, however, by the recent drama and two goals from James Rawlings and a Dan Allinson penalty helped them to a 3-0 victory over relegation candidates Aftermath.

Having won the reverse fixture 9-0, the league leaders went into the match with confidence, which was clear from the outset as they dominated possession early on. Rawlings nearly opened the scoring after he received the ball inside the box, his chipped effort drifting just wide of the post.

Rawlings was relishing his more at-

for his performance.

The league leaders will be happy with their performance after a turbulent Christmas period forced them to ring the changes but Aftermath will certainly take some positives from this having received a thumping in the reverse fixture.

Barca are still top of Division One. Photography: Moises Bedrossian

Wadhams

math still posed a threat on the break; Joel Hawkings did well on the left and squared the ball just behind Eccles who could only scuff the ball up on to his own face and out for a goal kick.

With a 3-0 lead Barca began to relax; Rawlings cut inside and fired just over the bar and Phil Beahon’s audacious back heal signalled the league leaders belief that the game had been put to bed.

Aftermath did fashion a few late chances but failed to convert them and Barca closed the game out by bringing on the league’s top goalscorer and new manager Jamie Hurworth for man of the match Rawlings, who deservedly received a round of applause

Beahon

Foley

Allinson

Ingram

Rawlings

Bagot

McKee

Tyler

Hoctor

Hurworth

Hawkings

Eccles

Hodgson

Shelton

Watts

O’Toole

Quinn

Jordan

Buckley

Jones

Turner

League Tables Wednesday 11-a-side Football 1

Division 3

Division 2

Division 1 Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Barca Law Na

8

7

0

1

36

5

21

2

Henderson Hall

9

7

0

2

33

18

21

3

Newcastle Medics 1sts

6

3

2

1

19

9

11

4

Dyslexic Untied

7

3

1

3

18

18

10

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

1

Newcastle Medics 2nds

8

7

1

0

29

6

22

1

Roman Villa FC

9

9

0

0

36

4

27

2

Lokomotiv

8

6

1

1

41

21

19

2

Politic Thistle

8

6

0

2

22

16

18

3

Ecosoccer

9

6

0

3

39

24

18

3

Shakhtar FC

10

4

1

5

16

16

13

4

Boroussia Forsyth

8

6

0

2

21

13

18

4

Brown Magic FC

8

3

1

4

25

19

10

5

The Hurricanes

8

3

1

4

25

24

10

5

Jesmondino FC

8

3

0

5

14

20

9

6

Boca Seniors

10

3

0

7

29

33

9

6

NCL Galacticos

7

3

0

4

15

24

9

Pts

5

Crayola

8

3

0

5

12

15

9

7

Newhist FC

9

1

1

7

13

39

4

7

Combined Honours

9

3

0

6

13

22

9

6

Aftermath

9

2

0

7

9

38

6

8

Ar U Shavin A Laugh

10

1

0

9

15

52

3

8

Newcastle Dynamos

9

2

0

7

8

32

6

7

Castle Leazes

7

0

1

6

8

32

1

Top Goalscorers

8: Daniel Rech (Crayola) 7: Dave Eccles (Aftermath) 7: Liam McAllister (Hendo)

11: Jamie Hurworth (Barca) 9: Chris McKee (Barca)

Barca Law Na Aftermath

3 0

Henderson Hall Castle Leazes

4 1

12: Zack Goddard (Ecosoccer) 11: Josh Batham (Ecosoccer)

Newcastle Medics 1sts 2 1 Crayola

11: Jake Wimshurst (Shavin) 10: Archie Norman (Forsyth) 8: Adam Duckworth (H’canes)

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Armstrong

7

7

0

0

347

13

35

2

Titans

7

7

0

0

219

43

30

3

Agrics 1

9

6

1

2

176

107

29

8: Rob Grady (Roman Villa) 8: Ollie Griffiths (Roman Villa) 8: Tom Islip (Roman Villa)

12: James Dunn (P Thistle) 8: Lewis Cockerill (B Magic)

9 2

Ecosoccer The Hurricanes

4 1

Combined Honours Jesmondino

2 1

Newcastle Dynamos Brown Magic

9 5

Boroussia Forsyth Newcastle Medics

A A

Lokomotiv Newhist FC

6 2

NCL Galacticos Politic Thistle

2 4

Roman Villa Shakhtar FC

2 0

4pm-5pm

Division 1

Top Goalscorers

Boca Seniors Ar U Shavin A Laugh

Netball

Rugby Union 1

Top Goalscorers

Mixed Hockey Group A

1

Uni Hockey

Intra Mural W D L F A round-up 8<<<<>>> 7 0 1 131 41

2

Mansoc

8

5

1

2

89

60

22

2

Larrikins

5

3

0

2

20

5

9

3

Net Assets

8

5

0

3

108

84

20

3

Oral Specialists

5

3

0

2

12

6

9

4

Biology Netball

8

4

2

2

84

72

20

4

Pink Panthers

5

3

0

2

7

16

9

Team

Pld

Pts

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

28

1

Agrics

4

4

0

0

10

2

12

4

Southern Fairies

8

4

0

4

196

131

22

5

Larrikins

9

5

0

4

139

148

22

5

Leazes Ladies

8

5

0

3

87

82

20

5

BioSci Hockey Legends

4

2

0

2

10

5

6

6

Engines

7

4

0

3

111

104

18

6

CHS

8

2

1

5

77

93

10

6

MLS

3

1

0

2

4

9

3

7

Cheeky Ladies

8

3

1

4

152

164

18

7

Agrics B

8

1

2

5

62

98

8

7

Law School

3

1

0

2

3

10

3

8

Agrics 2

8

2

0

2

33

268

8

8

RRB1

8

0

0

8

17

125

0

8

NUTS

5

0

0

5

3

16

0

9

New Uni Freshers

7

0

0

7

55

224

2

10

Medics

8

0

0

8

46

272

1

CHS Net Assets

A A

Biology Netball Mansoc

A A

RRB1 Agrics B

A A

Leazes Ladies Uni Hockey

A A

Agrics 2 Titans

3 47

Larrikins Agrics 1

14 24

Medics Cheeky Ladies

3 37

5pm-6pm

Cup �ixtures

The first round of the Intra Mural Rugby Union Knockout Cup competition has been drawn, with two fixtures to be played on Wednesday 15 February: Armstrong vs Medics Larrikins vs Fairies

Cochrane Park 1 Cochrane Park 2

Group B Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

The Gunners

3

2

1

0

5

1

7

2

Green Sticks

3

1

2

0

6

2

5

3

NUSSC

3

1

2

0

2

1

5

4

Black Panthers

3

1

1

1

3

4

4

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

5

Toon Raiders

1

1

0

0

5

0

3

1

Netball Ninjas

7

7

0

0

99

46

28

6

Mojoholics

2

0

0

2

1

4

0

2

Agrics

6

5

0

1

113

33

20

7

Combined Honours

3

0

0

3

2

12

0

3

Polly’s Dollies

7

4

0

3

80

75

16

4

CHS

7

3

0

4

52

61

12

5

Chem Eng

7

3

0

4

73

90

12

6

NUSSC

7

2

0

5

39

78

8

7

The History Girls

7

0

0

7

23

96

0

Agrics The History Girls

A A

Polly’s Dollies Netball Ninjas

A A

CHS NUSSC

A A

The Courier Online Check out thecourieronline.co.uk/sport every Monday for exclusive Intra Mural Saturday football match reports and up to date league tables from across the university.

INTRA MURAL IN BRIEF NETBALL

Matches cancelled after Tuesday league is hit by shortage of umpires

After seeing their last round of fixtures before Christmas cancelled, Intra Mural netballers were left frustrated again last Tuesday when a shortage of umpires resulted in the cancellations of all the week’s matches. Captains were only informed an hour before kick-off and one told The Courier of her frustration: “It’s extremely late notice and frustrating as we have all made the commitment to play and paid a lot of money for Sports Centre membership, purely for the use of the Sports Centre to play netball on a Tuesday afternoon.

“Then to be told they can’t provide umpires an hour before the match is about to start is irritating.”

When asked about the issue, Participation and Events Manager Denis Murphy told The Courier that he understood the frustrations, citing coursework deadlines and lecture clashes as the reason that the netball club were unable to provide umpires.

However, he moved to allay fears that this would become a recurring problem stating: “Overall the netball club and in particular Allie Strang, who organises the umpires every week, have been fantastic in providing umpires week in week out for the Intra Mural netball leagues.

“I am sure that the club will be able to provide umpires for the remainder of the season and both game weeks that have been cancelled will be rescheduled at the end of Term.”

WEDNESDAY FOOTBALL With most students preparing for the Christmas break, a few football fixtures went ahead on Wednesday December 14 with Henderson Hall and Boca Seniors amongst the goals as they entered the holidays with some morale-boosting wins. Boca, who had hit NCL Galacticos for ten in the cup the previous week were unable to muster a full team for their relegation battle with Newhist FC, but led by an inspired performance by winger Teejay Coles comfortably won the match 5-0.

Henderson, meanwhile, went level with Barca Law Na at the top of Division One, albeit having played one game more after they thrashed Dyslexic Untied 9-2 on Longbenton’s 3G pitch and with both teams winning their matches last week too, the title race looks set to go down to the wire.

SATURDAY FOOTBALL

Newcastle Medics 1sts, despite their indifferent form in the Wednesday competitions, look certain to defend their Saturday Premiership title after they defeated their nearest rivals - their own Second team - in their first match of the New Year. Knowing that they were in for a tough encounter they had been put through some gruelling fitness training in the week building up to the match and it paid off as a 2-0 win put them top of the league.

With three games in hand on their nearest challengers now, it will take a spectacular loss of form in this semester for anybody to even come close to catching the Medics now.

44.sportintramural

Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

Improved Royals unable to stop Leeds MEN’S RUGBY UNION

Newcastle 1sts Leeds 1sts

25 31

By Colin Henrys at HEATON A brace of tries by Jonny Neville was not enough to prevent Newcastle being knocked out of the BUCS Championships in the first round, as they suffered a 31-25 defeat to Leeds at Heaton. Despite controlling large periods of the game, the Royals came unstuck as a result of their visitors dominance at set pieces – four of their five tries arrived as a result of their pack – and have now lost all five matches since their victory over Northumbria at Kingston Park.

There was a very early sign of things to come when Newcastle lost the ball from their first scrum of the match and within ten minutes of the kick off Leeds were 14-0 up, had missed a penalty and had also had a possible try ruled out. While Conor ‘Weasley’ Mullan had kicked well short of the posts with his penalty attempt, he opted to find touch with his next one and from the resultant line-out a huge rolling maul allowed James Radcliff to touch the ball down and put his side in front.

Sensing their dominance from these mauls, Leeds worked their line-outs well and were unlucky not to score again in an identical manner to their first try after the referee was unable to convincingly judge whether the ball had crossed the line legally. It wasn’t to matter however, as the visitors

doubled their lead anyway from the scrum that followed; number eight Brandon Hannam scoring the try as the Royals’ pack was left powerless to prevent their opposite numbers from consistently driving them backwards.

Newcastle also showed their intentions in the early stages however and began to get back into the game with some good passing moves and plenty of quick recycling of the ball at the breakdown. They should have got their first points of the game when Andy John missed a penalty right in front of the posts on the 22 but they didn’t have to wait too much longer to record their first score. A good carry

by Peter Alston and good hands by Mungo Strachan allowed Ioan Davies to run in a 30-yard try, with John making up for his earlier error with a great conversion from out wide to make the score 7-14.

From there on Newcastle more than held their own and despite losing another scrum against the put in, kept Leeds firmly away from the 22. The home side were able to reduce the deficit further before half-time when John converted a penalty.

After the interval John converted another penalty, which was the result of another great carry from Alston.

The penalty took Newcastle within just one point of the visitors and now the Royals began to dominate.

Indeed they were close to taking the lead shortly afterwards when a great take from the kick off by Neville and good runs from Jonny Patterson and Jo Beckett ended when Beckett’s kick and chase just bounced into touch.

However, having found themselves

Leeds pack proved too strong for Royals at Heaton Photography: Clare Deal

well on top Newcastle shot themselves in the foot by conceding a line-out in their own 22 after two misplaced passes saw the ball cross the touchline. Once again Leeds won the ball from their throw, set up a rolling maul and drove over the line for Radcliff to score. Weasley added the extras to put Leeds 21-13 ahead.

The hosts responded well with a huge hit straight from the kick off winning them a penalty for holding on, but John’s effort hit the post. The Royals continued to push however and after winning a line-out replacement scrum-half Lewis Crosbie played the

ball to Beckett who’s 45-yard run and perfectly timed offload allowed Neville to score in the corner.

While John missed the difficult conversion, Neville doubled his try tally to put Newcastle in front with less than ten minutes on the clock, finishing a move that his own long run had started; receiving the ball after it had passed through several phases and easily breaking through a weak attempted tackle to score. John’s extras put the hosts 25-21 in front but their lead lasted for just two minutes when Ned Brown scored a try to restore the Gryphons’ lead.

With just one point in it, it was clearly anybody’s game going into the last five minutes but when John dragged a late penalty wide it was clear that it was not Newcastle’s day, and so it proved when yet another line-out resulted in Leeds scoring their fifth and final try in the closing seconds.

The manner in which the Royals had conceded their tries was clearly a source of frustration for Director of Rugby Tom Wilkinson at full-time but there are plenty of positives to take from this match as they prepare for their must-win home encounter with Nottingham Trent on Wednesday.

Owls swoop second Knights live dangerously MEN’S RUGBY LEAGUE

Leeds 1sts Newcastle 1sts

22 25

By Ian McPherson in LEEDS NURL beat basement boys Leeds to finish runners up in the Premier North League Though their hosts were propping up the league table after only one win all season, NURL knew Leeds would pose a difficult challenge after only just winning the reverse tie earlier in the season. Their task was made significantly more difficult after three matches in a week had left the side with a number of injuries, and forced them to travel to Yorkshire with only 14 men.

Leeds were the brighter of the sides in the opening minutes, setting a fast tempo against a tired looking NURL outfit and scoring the first try of the afternoon after 10 minutes.

The Death Machine seemed to spark into life after conceding though and slowly started to get back into the match. Fearless running from foreign exchange student Danni Caparros and NURL dietician Conor Elison pushed the visitors up the field, whist Yeend pulled the strings in the backs. It was second rower Ian McPherson that got the first points on the board for NURL, crashing over for a trademark wonder try just to the left of the sticks.

Griffiths added the conversion to edge the Owls ahead.

Leeds were back in front moments later, after some weak tackling in the middle of the NURL defence.

Fortunately for The Death Machine, Chris Griffiths had his scoring boots on and slipped through a couple of Leeds tackles to score under the posts.

At half time NURL were in the lead but were far from comfortable in the first forty.

After the break it was Leeds who once again got on the scoreboard, having a clearly held-up try awarded after their meat-headed hooker trundled over the line. Unsurprisingly the hideous beast scuffed his kick and failed to convert the try.

NURL fought back once again, quick hands from hooker Gaz Hibbert, who produced another tireless display put Griffiths through a gap for him to offfload to the screaming Londoner Ian McPherson who touched down for his second try.

Provider turned scored moments later, as Griffiths scored a brilliant solo effort, his second of the day, after 70 minutes.

Leeds did score right at the death, after the Owls had earlier slotted the world’s most unnecessary drop goal, but the visitors held out to earn a very tight win.

An exhausted Newcastle team have a few weeks off before the cup starts, but they can take a lot of heart from their recent form and will have one eye on March 4th for their Stan Calvert showdown against pea-brained rivals Northumbria.

NORTHERN PREMIERSHIP 1 LEEDS MET 2NDS 2 NEWCASTLE 1STS 3 LIVERPOOL 1STS

14 14 11

Glasgow left to rue late misses as NUWB make semis WOMEN”S BASKETBALL Glasgow 1sts Newcastle 1sts

55 56

By Rosie Wowk in GLASGOW Newcastle were made to work hard to secure a delicate victory over Glasgow as the away side dominated large periods of play. Glasgow could easily have turned defeat into victory but for two missed freee-throws with just seconds to go in the last quarter.

Both teams were desperate to reach the semi-final of the BUCS Knockout Trophy, making it inevitable that the Knights first game of the New Year would be a fiery encounter.

There was a tense start to the game as both sides displayed strong offenses. Glasgow’s quick-fire passing created a number of open spaces that enabled their shooters to sink several unchallenged shots and fire them into an early lead.

Newcastle’s Swiss star Tasslem von Streng managed to stem the stream of Glasgow attacks with some fantastic blocks and this respite allowed the home side to start controlling possession and try and force their way back into the game.

Despite Eglė Duleckytė beginning to drive well and scoring an impressive three-pointer, the Knights were yet to fully settle in the game and went in at the end of the first quarter 13 points adrift.

Glasgow played a daunting press at the beginning of the second quarter that, coupled with a loss of concentration from the home side’s defence, suggested the match may turn into an easy win for the away side.

The Knights, determined to get some more points on the board, ran some different offenses, and slowly began to force their way back into the game.

Point guard Corinne Vaughan was at the heart of the Knights offensive play, at one point sinking a lay-up despite stumbling her way into the key.

The Lithuanian Duleckytė sisters began to dominate an increasingly timid Glasgow defence and the scoreboard began to reflect this as the Knights battled back to within a couple of points at the half time interval.

Newcastle started the third quarter with a renewed purpose and this was rewarded as Jacqui Fisher’s snappy pass found Alice Holloway who nailed a smooth jump shot much to the delight of her teammates.

The away side began to lose their composure and conceded a number of fouls that the Knights were quick to take advantage of, by closing the points difference with some unchallenged shots from the line.

Some ferocious defending and an increased tempo from Newcastle forced yet more errors from Glasgow, this time it was their poor footwork and persistent travelling that allowed the home side to gain the upper hand, and finish the third quarter with a one

point lead.

With their comeback seemingly complete Newcastle knew that Glasgow would adopt an aggressive approach as they sought to come back into the game. The Scots began to revive their impressive pressing from the second quarter and successfully intercepted a number of weak passes made by the Knights.

Despite being on the back foot for large chunks of the final quarter some fantastic offensive moves from Newcastle allowed Emily Jackson to sink two fine efforts and cling onto their fragile lead.

Duleckytė continued her fine form with some more three-pointers and as the game edged towards its finale the crowd were on the edge of their seats as the lead flittered between the two teams.

With seconds left on the clock and Newcastle on the brink of victory a foul on a Glasgow player was called by the referee and no line up was allowed. Newcastle knew that if Glasgow’s player sunk her free shots then the Scottish side would advance to the next round at their expense.

Fortunately both shots missed, cueing mass celebrations from the home side as they finished the match with a single point lead in a 56-55 win.

Newcastle take on Birmingham in the next round of the trophy with high hopes of securing a win and progressing on to the final.

The Courier

BUCSsport.45

Monday 6 February 2012

NUSSC hit the Alps for Xmas SKIING

By Hannah Parker On the 16 December, 165 Newcastle students set off for the annual Christmas Ski Trip with NUSSC, the University’s Ski and Snowboard club. With a series of competitions coming up this year, the Christmas trip presented a perfect opportunity to enjoy the slopes without the pressures of BUCS points playing on their minds. After a great trip there last year, NUSSC returned to Val Thorens in France this Christmas but upgraded to four-star accommodation this time around.

The resort is perfect for students with a large range of fantastic après bars and the largest club in the Alps, Malaysia, which meant that we were spoilt for choice. The highlight of the week was an evening meal in a mountain restaurant followed by a torch-lit descent skiing back down to the resort. With obscene amounts of snow the conditions were ideal and there was plenty of powder to be tracked

Newcastle seconds edge past Hull to set up Poly tie

down.

For anyzone who missed the trip or can’t wait for some more NUSSC action after the amazing Christmas trip, BUSC at Easter is open for booking now! The event, hosted by the British University Snowsport Council, is in Austria this year in the resort of Saalbach and Hinterglemm. The week sees all of the universities in the UK descending on the resort for a week of skiing and snowboarding, with competitions for the keen ones and events with huge artists playing every night.

One of the events is a Winter Warehouse party hosted by Jack Wills, which requires a gondola ride to access it and for those who like to dress up there is also a ball. With events every night, the infamous Austrian après ski and miles of pistes to be covered this is one ski trip you don’t want to miss.

For more info and to find out how to book head to www.facebook.com/ NUSSCNewcastle and check out the dedicated event – “NUSSC do BUSC 2012”. Hurry though – the deadline for applications is 24 February.

Students take advantage of “obscene amounts of snow” Photography: S McKenna

Fighting for points

NUSKC gear up for Shotokan Championships KARATE

By Jack Nuttgens & Sandy Tse

The first term of 2011/12 has been highly successful for Newcastle University Shotokan Karate Club (NUSKC) having won nearly half a dozen medals across three competitions. With an influx of enthusiastic first-years, both beginners and those who have trained before, the club is once again the largest single style martial arts club in the university. This reflects on the high standard of teaching and dedication from NUSKC’s four instructors, ranging from first to fourth Dan black belt.

The first competition of the year was the KUGB (Karate Union of Great Britain) Northern Regional Championships on the 29th October at Sunderland City Space. Third year Politics student Gregg Peers won a Bronze medal for kumite (fighting) and Club President Sandy Tse took Silver in Women’s kata (a pre-dictated series of techniques).

At the KUGB Student Championships in Chesterfield on 19th November, Sandy Tse won Silver in kata after a very close performance in the finals. First year Dentistry student Abi Chapman (Elite Athlete Squad) won Bronze in kumite after beating many KUGB squad members.

NUSKC also sent a team to the Teesside Open in Middlesbrough on 5th December where every competitor earned a medal. Abi Chapman added to her previous success, coming First in kata and Second in kumite. The men were equally successful - Second year Owain Roberts (Club Treasurer) won First place in Men’s Novice Kumite in some remarkable fights and Jonny Knox (Assistant Club Instruc-

tor) came Second in Men’s Senior Kumite. The most notable achievement was the Club taking the top three spots in Male Senior Kata: Jonny Knox, Josh Roberts (Club Captain) and Owain Roberts came First, Second and Third respectively.

The NUSKC Squad will now be concentrating on training for the all-important two-day event in March that is the BUCS Karate Championships 2012 at Ponds Forge in Sheffield, the club’s first opportunity to earn BUCS points for the university. With the recent achievements and a successful club grading in December, the Squad has gained new members and holds more promise than ever for bringing in medals from BUCS events.

The club also looks forward to com-

peting in the 46th KUGB National Championships at the beginning of May – the most prestigious event of the year for Britain’s most well established and largest single-style karate association.

NUSKC trains every Monday, Wednesday (7-8:30pm Multipurpose Room B) and Sunday (3-6pm Multipurpose Room A) in the University Sports Centre and welcomes new members of all abilities throughout the year. A weekly session (Fridays 7-9pm, Dance Studio) is also reserved for the NUSKC Squad to focus on competition-based training. Please see www.nuskc.com or e-mail president@nuskc.com for further information.

BUCS IN BRIEF CRICKET

Newcastle University Cricket team were unfortunate not to qualify for the final of the BUCS National Indoor Cricket competition at the Lords last Wednesday.

NUCC had to wait on the result of the final group game between Exeter and Sheffield after tieing with the former and defeating the latter.

Sheffield reached 111 all out chasing Exeters total of 121, and had the South Yorkshire scored just four more runs Newcastle would have been put through with a higher net run rate.

WOMEN’S SQUASH Elsewhere Newcastle Women’s squash teams 3-1 victory over arch rivals Northumbria saw them reach the play-offs for a chance to compete in the Northern Premier League next year.

NUWSC have dominated Northern Division 1A this year, winning all 10 of their matches and doing the double over both Durham and Northumbria.

Both Newcastle Men’s Fencing teams are through to the next round in the trophy after a dominant 135 to 51 victory for the Firsts over Leeds Met and a walk over for the Seconds against Hull Firsts.

BUCS LEAGUE TABLE

Hoping for even more medals.

Photography: NUSKC

6 LEEDS MET 7 EXETER 8 MANCHESTER 9 NEWCASTLE 10 NOTTINGHAM 11 BRISTOL 12 LEEDS

654 638 576 534 485 416.1 412

NEWCASTLE have moved up from 13th to 9th since the Christmas break

NETBALL

By Fiona Moss

Newcastle 2nds Hull 1sts

44 43

Playing in the cup against a Hull side that sits comfortably in second place in the league above Newcastle seconds, the team faced a tough challenge on Wednesday afternoon if they were to ensure an advance into the next round.

Indeed any hope of a win seemed immediately oppressed by a strong, orderly opposition and Newcastle’s slow start meant that they immediately went behind by four goals and by the end of the first quarter they were down by seven.

However strong words from the captain Eustacia Hamilton gave the team the lift they needed and they fought back to take the lead by two after the first half. Every quarter from then on out, the team proved stronger with their fitness proving far superior to that of their opposition; a crucial element in the outcome of the match.

The cool heads of shooters, Laura Harvey and Stephanie Blain not only placed psychological pressures on the away side, but also ensured the vital goal that clinched the win.

With the match going from goal to goal, it was essential that Newcastle’s defence was solid in the closing moments. An interception in the final 30 seconds, gave the Uni team control in closing out the match and guaranteed the win.

All in all it was a solid effort all round by the team, who now face Northumbria in the next round.

Newcastle 3rds Sheffield Hallam 2nds

40 45

Playing at home, the thirds faced Sheffield Hallam. It proved to be a good match, with promising performances from both teams and the third team narrowly missed out on a win.

Starting strongly and proving why they were promoted last season, Newcastle took the lead after the first quarter. However despite this Sheffield upped their performance in the second half and Newcastle’s lack of fitness gave the away team the lead. This lead proved irreversible in the final stages of the match, even with the strength of Rachel Brown’s play, which was recognised when she was awarded player of the match.

Hopefully the team can learn from this loss and with some improvements in fitness ensure a win next week against a York St John side that currently sit bottom of the league with their solitary point having come in the draw with Newcastle earlier in the year.

46.sportBUCS

Monday 6 February 2012

The Courier

Football girls flying on c

High scoring league leaders through to BUCS Northern Conference Cup quarterWOMEN’S FOOTBALL Newcastle 1sts Sheffield 2nds

9 1

By Anna Parkinson at LONGBENTON After a rare stalemate with Northumbria in a league match the previous week, Newcastle Women’s first team returned to their free-scoring ways to beat Sheffield Seconds 9-1 at Longbenton in the third round of the BUCS Mars Northern Conference Cup. Entering into this game with a successful history against Sheffield there was an expectation placed upon the team to go forth into the next round as the visitors must have wished they had stayed at home.

From the off Newcastle dominated play with Nicki and Steph providing a strong core. The ball was often in and around the oppositions goal but with Heather Campbell, the usual trusty goal scorer, with an average of close to two hat-tricks per match, seemingly unable to find the back of the net, it turned to Victor, Cran and Baglietto to open the scoring, putting Newcastle three-nil up in the first 25 minutes.

It could have been more too, when Victor was brought down by the Sheffield ‘keeper inside the penalty area.

Newcastle captain Stephanie Dalby sensed her chance to get her name on the scoresheet, showing her previously unseen pace by sprinting from centre-back to claim responsibility ahead of several more capable teammates.

Unfortunately however, her penalty taking ‘tekkers’ left little to be desired as she tamely rolled the ball straight into the hands of the goalkeeper. The pressure had clearly got to her.

Attempts at redeeming herself were valiant yet mis-placed headers from set pieces kept her goal scoring tally throughout this cup at zero. Needless to say, her performance in her well-established position, at centre back, well away from the oppositions goal was second to none however and her fellow centre-back does admittedly have an even worse record when faced with a goal-scoring opportunity.

Luckily for the reputation of the back four, Helen at left back tucked away an absolute blinder to the top right corner of the net and with Campbell returning to goal scoring form in the second half to bag a couple and Baglietto managing to stay on her own two feet for more than three minutes the goals were flowing.

Perhaps sympathetic to the plight of the opposition however, the referee left Newcastle’s Fish with little leeway in the timing of her tackles in the penalty area, awarding a penalty that led to the visitors’ solitary consolation goal. It can only be hoped that Dalby took some tips from the penalty taker.

Nevertheless a glorious 9-1 win provided the team with much reason to celebrate and indulge in a treble or two and a portion of post night cheesy chips. Their season’s goal tally has now reached 50 from just eight BUCS matches and they can look forward to a cup quarter-final match at home to Hull on 22 February.

50

GOALS AND COUNTING COUNT ING

Newcastle’s nine goals took them 50 for the season so far from just eight games. Astonishingly they fired a blank in two of those too: 19 Oct (A) vs Northumbria 7 - 0 26 Oct (H) vs York 9-0 02 Nov (A) vs Leeds 0-2 16 Nov (A) vs Sheffield 7-0 23 Nov (H) vs Hull 7-0 30 Nov (A) vs Teesside [C] 11 - 1 25 Jan (H) vs Northumbria 0 - 0 01 Feb (H) vs Sheffield [C] 9 - 1

Newcastle’s women’s football team hit the back of the net nine times against Sheffield 2nds to take their season’s tally to 50 goals.

Photography: Vili Welroos

Next Fixture: 08 Feb (A) vs York

Sluggish Sheffield pay for slow start LADIES’ HOCKEY Newcastle 1sts Sheffield 1sts

5 3

By Alice Hogg at LONGBENTON Having already confirmed their status as one of the top eight teams in the competition, the Ladies’ Firsts Hockey team stormed into the semi-finals of the BUCS trophy with an energetic 5-3 win over Sheffield University.

Supported by a boisterous crowd, Newcastle were spurred on and dominated the early proceedings. Before Sheffield had even reacted to the start of the match a string of excellent passes disorientated the opposition and

allowed Erika Coackley to find a perfectly positioned Laura Kate Moore who deflected the ball beautifully into the net.

Newcastle’s dominance continued with some excellent passages of play showing that an excess of Christmas pudding and the frosty conditions were no match for their hardy ‘Northern-ness’. With the opposition scared to cross the halfway line for fear of being on the receiving end of one of Hattie Cunningham’s tackles, Newcastle continued to press on the opposition ‘D’.

Soon the Royals got bored of the pretty but ineffective passing game and decided to score some more goals, taking a 2-0 lead courtesy of Jenna Watt who hit a corker of a striker from

the top of the ‘D’.

Two soon became three as Sheffield’s sluggish start continued, allowing Charlotte Howatson to score a goal that will be spoken of for years to come by all who witnessed it. Nicki Mollison held the ball in centre field, just across the half way line, and reverse struck the ball to the P-spot where a screaming Charlotte Howatson deflected the ball into the top corner. For once the Premier Leagueesque celebrations that followed were more than deserved.

Sheffield however were determined to not have made the trip up north in vain and began to string some passes together as Newcastle relaxed maybe a little too much with their 3-0 lead. Sheffield’s one influential player

started to make threatening runs culminating in two goals in quick succession for the away team, the most memorable being an excellent reverse stick shot into the top corner, which came as such a shock to every Newcastle player and their fans that they could not help but applaud.

Having realised that this opposition may be a little tougher than their usual woeful opponents, a decisive half-time team talk allowed the Royals to regain their focus in time for the second half.

Although subjected to a tougher start than in the first half, Newcastle fought well to maintain their lead, with strong tackles from Milly Powers and excellent work up the right hand side by Susanne Hill. This allowed

Newcastle’s formidable forward team to stir up a fuss in the Sheffield ‘D’.

Another potentially legend-making goal came after a coalition between Jenna Watt and Liz Shedden, though debate still remains as to who got the last touch and Newcastle’s final goal concluded a possible hat-trick for Watt and seemed to seal the fate of the match, though not for Sheffield’s lack of trying.

The visitors managed to secure a consolation goal before the game was disrupted by series of self-inflicted injuries to the Sheffield side. Though the game stayed heated until the final minutes, Newcastle’s dominance was apparent and looks promising for when they face Manchester Firsts in the semi-finals on February 22.

The Courier

BUCSsport.47

Monday 6 February 2012

loud nine

-finals after success at Longbenton

Three and easy for Royals in Trophy quarter-finals MEN’S HOCKEY Manchester 1sts Newcastle 1sts

0 3

By John Colville at ARMITAGE CENTRE Attention turned away from league duties as first met second in the quarter-finals of the BUCS PWC trophy at the Armitage Sports Centre, Manchester.

Newcastle made the journey down the A1 in determined mood to face their fierce rivals in an all or nothing clash, well aware of the magnitude of the game in sealing BUCS points and continuing their momentum.

Having weathered a busy exam period, registering three wins including an 8-3 thrashing of Liverpool John Moores the newly promoted side are now sitting on top of 1A with the title firmly in their sights.

Preparation for the game was key and Newcastle were thankful that the winter frost held off to ensure all the pieces could be put together before the much anticipated clash.

Having been picked apart in a video session by Johannes Linden, the press was given a much-needed revision on the bus with textbook German engineering. On arrival everyone knew their roles and a quiet intensity could be felt as the team warmed up on a cold day in Manchester.

Newcastle looked the more up for it and came out of the blocks hard, pressing high. Forced into left back by tireless running from the forwards, led by Hector Hall and Ben Gowing, the Manchester back four had little on offer to them as all angles were closed off. Across the midfield marking was tight and Manchester’s centre backs resorted to high balls, harmlessly rolling off the pitch or being picked up by an astute Newcastle back line with Ed Youngman stepping out to demonstrate how to mark in front.

The early exchanges were typically cagey with neither team wanting to make an error but Newcastle soon began forming triangles and were able to pick up the intelligent runs in behind Manchester’s defence. 10 minutes in Newcastle were rewarded with a short corner at the end of a flowing move.

However on a dry and bobbly pitch

BADMINTON

HOCKEY

BASKETBALL

LACROSSE

M2 v Hull 1sts 2-6 W1 v Durham 1sts 4 - 4* *Durham win on points W1 v Glasgow 1sts

56 - 55

FENCING

M1 v Leeds Met 1sts 135 - 51

FOOTBALL

RESULTS

M3 v Bishop Burton 1stS 6 - 1 W1 v Sheffield 2nds 9-1

GOLF

1 v Teesside 1sts 3-3 2 v Northumbria 2nds 2.5 - 3.5

M1 v Manchester 1st M3 v Leeds 2nds W1 v Sheffield 1sts

the Royals struggled to make anything from the five short corners that they won throughout the 70 minutes and were left frustrated at missed opportunities despite first choice stopper Sam Mawer returning to action after getting the all clear from his cosmetic surgeon.

As the half progressed both teams had chances however both lacked the crucial finish. Nevertheless with the talent on show this was not to last long and Newcastle soon broke the deadlock; Gowing won possession high up the pitch and slipped the ball to fresher Ben Underwood. Underwood combined fine stick work with awareness to take the ball away from goal before getting away a quick shot which could only be palmed by the Manchester keeper into the path of Hall, lurking on the back post as if in the White Room on a Wednesday night. Comparisons end here though as Hall calmly converted his chance.

Shortly after the Royals were denied a penalty flick, with both umpires somehow missing a blatant foot on the line from a shot on target, nevertheless Newcastle went into the huddle 1-0 to the good.

More of the same was called for in the second half and Newcastle delivered. Expertly implementing both full and half court presses Newcastle were able to stifle the urgent Manchester attacks. Manchester were running out of options against a drilledWon Newcastle side and it was difficult to see where they could get a goal from. However Newcastle were never safe at 1-0 and were lucky to survive with their goal intact as the ball struck the bar off a short corner charged down by skipper John Colville on his opposite number.

On a difficult pitch the Newcastle back four had to be careful, but as the game wore on they began to feel at home. Quick distribution from wing backs Youngman, Mackenzie and Mawer enabled forwards to run deep into the opposing defence and the plasticity of Newcastle at the back enabled them to stretch holes in a tight Manchester press, which centre backs Colville and Max Underwood exploited, threading passes at all angles to open up the pitch.

Midway through the second half

9

3-0 2-4 5-3

W1 v Nottingham 1sts 10 - 8

NETBALL

W2 v Hull 1sts 44 - 43 W3 v S’field Hallam 2nds 40 - 45

RUGBY

M1 v Leeds 1sts 25 - 31 M2 v Newcastle 4ths 32 - 5 M3 v Sheffield 2nds 38 - 15 M4 v Newcastle 2nds 5 - 32 W2 v Sunderland 1sts 25 - 27

Newcastle extended their lead. Hall running hard at Manchester, left the ailing defenders in his wake as he hit the baseline and the Leeds man showed a calm head as he picked out Harry “dwarf ” Kempe who was able to smash the ball home low into the corner. Just minutes later Kieran Borrett, who was tackling anything that moved in the middle of the pitch, won possession before slipping it to the advancing Colville on the half way line who was able to fire a diagonal ball high and wide to Hall. Again the devastating combination of Hall’s pace and Kempe’s finishing put an end to any hope of a Manchester comeback

HAPPY AS HARRY

Fresher Kempe’s two goals, assisted by Vice Captain Hector Hall, secured Newcastle’s progress into the final four of the PWC Trophy

with an emphatic strike and the subsequent celebration was anything but bashful from the top heavy fresher.

At 3-0 Newcastle simply had to see out the remaining 10 minutes, which they did with a calm display. The Royals will now face Birmingham Seconds in the semi-final to be played at Longbenton on 22 February, the Midlands side having earned their passage with of a 7-0 drubbing of Sheffield in the other quarter final.

First though attentions turn to 1A with a tough away tie away against title rivals Leeds this Wednesday.

Still unbeaten in BUCS and having won their last six games Newcastle’s season is gaining real pace in the run in to Easter. Characterised by fantastic team spirit, morale is high in the Newcastle camp and the Royals are chomping at the bit to get back into action and kick on with big games approaching as they chase a league and cup double for the second consecutive season.

SQUASH

M2 v Northumbria 1sts W1 v Northumbria 1sts W2 v Leeds 2nds W3 v Durham 2nds

TABLE TENNIS

M2 v Leeds Met 1sts

TENNIS

M1 v Durham 4ths W1 v Durham 4ths

VOLLEYBALL

W1 v York St John 1sts

0-5 3-1 3-1 0-4

10 - 7 2 - 10 12 - 0 3-0

Sport

48

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 6 February 2012 Issue 1243 Free

SMASHING YEAR AHEAD FOR TENNIS

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Last minute victory for Medics Intra Mural, p.41

Complaint letter forces Senseless re-branding

Intra Mural team name considered sexist and derogatory

By Owen Evans Two Intra Mural football teams have been forced to change their names following a complaint to the University over their insinuation.

Shakthar Last Night and Shagther Senseless have had their names changed to Shakthar LN and Shakthar FC following a complaint from a University student. The complaint, which was sent to the Welfare and Equality Officer and Gender Equality Officer, only made reference to the team Shagther Senseless.

The complaint, made by a male student, began with the student stating ‘I am writing to express my unease about the name of the Inter-Mural [sic] football team (which is a poor pun of the Ukrainian Team Shakhtar Donetsk) ‘Shagther Senseless.’’

The complainant pointed to the “inherent sexism of the name in itself,” as the reasoning behind his objection, stating that it was a name that “infringes upon both University and Union policy regarding mutual respect and the stopping [of] sexual harassment. The vein of these policies are to halt unwanted conduct that has the purpose or effect of creating an

intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for the complainant, my complaint and request falls well within these parameters.”

It goes on to argue that ‘The sexist joke of ‘shagging [her] senseless’ is not only derogatory and offensive to women but also to those of us who find such humour as contributing to the macho and crass ‘lad culture’

ROBBIE CACHIA Shagther Captain said that they had no intention of causing offence with the choice of team name, and are happy to move on with a new one.

which is sadly associated with football. The connotations of ‘senseless’ border the extreme tastelessness of making light of rape and sexual violence towards women. Furthermore such a ‘lad’ culture promotes the objectification of women and sexism in general as ‘banter’ and pressures or dissuades those who are against such behaviour from taking an active role.’

‘Seeing crude sexist puns in the Courier and on it’s [sic] back page does

not project the image of a welcoming and equal opportunities university but rather one where sexism is ignored at best , and tacitly promoted at the very worst.’

Welfare and Equality Officer Katy Hargreaves, who handled the initial complaint and worked to have the name changed, stated that she ‘responded immediately and got in touch with Alice [Holloway] (AU Officer) and together we contacted the university to ensure the name was changed immediately. As the union is here for its students, it’s important that we always respond to their needs and wants. The last thing the union and university want is offend their students.

‘There has never been a policy in place to stop inappropriate team names, and the names are not passed through the union therefore until now have not been flagged up if inappropriate. The university have promised to take more care with intermural [sic] team names and have promised that such names will not be used again.’

University Sports Centre Participation and Events Manager Denis Murphy, who is in charge of the running of Intra Mural football, mediated Continued on page 39

WILL IT BE A GRAND SLAM FOR DJOKOVIC? AUSTRALIAN OPEN REVIEW, P40

LADIES FIRSTS HEADING FOR NUMBER ONE HOCKEY, P47

Sheffield narrowly avoid double figure thrashing Women’s football, p.46