Courier 1351

“90’s baby”

Annual Summer Courier Fashion feature, p. 20

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 15 May 2017 Issue 1351 Free

The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students

I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WATCHING

Kick back and relax with these Summer blockbuster hits after exams, p.28

FINAL FAREWELL FROM GAMING

Your three Gaming Eds. shed light (not a tear) on a year full of glorious Gaming, p. 31

Standout student efforts recognised in Celebrating Success Awards 2017 Hundreds of students gain acknowledgment for their work across the 16/17 academic year Students commended in award ceremonies across six individual extra-curricular areas Winners automatically short listed for Pride of Newcastle Awards on 8 June

By Isabel Sykes Last week Newcastle University Students’ Union (NUSU) hosted its annual Celebrating Success Awards week.

The Celebrating Success Awards give Newcastle University students the chance to have their extra-curricular achievements recognised. The Awards are open to current and recent graduates from any course or stage across the University.

In the awards, students had the opportunity to nominate themselves, other students or groups, to be rewarded for their efforts in six extra-curricular areas: Sport, Student Representation, Community, Societies, Media and Business and Enterprise. Nominations for the awards closed on 24 March 2017 and were judged by NUSU staff and student body executives.

The awards are a great opportunity for students to be rewarded for the hard work they do outside their course, whether on-campus or reaching out into the wider community.

The Celebrating Success Awards began with the Sport category at the annual Atheltic Union Ball on 30 March. The following five ceremonies took place 8-11 March, beginning with the Student Representation Awards and ending with the Media Awards.

At each ceremony, at least ten individual awards were presented, allowing a large breadth of knowledge and expertise to be recognised.

Full details of each event, the nominees, and the winners and photos from the ceremonies will appear on the NUSU website.

Commenting on the awards, Jade Holroyd, Editor of The Courier, Sabbatical Officer and judge of the Media category said: “I attended every awards ceremony and they were all just fantastic.

“Working at NUSU I know how much extra-curricular stuff students get involved with and it really is commendable. It was an absolute pleasure to see the tremendous work of students being acknowledged on such an official basis “Once again, a massive Congratulations to all those who won and were nominated.”

Rewards for the extra-curricular achievements of students doesn’t stop with the Celebrating Success Awards; all winners are automatically short listed for the relevant outstanding category in the Pride of Newcastle Awards.

Image: Chloe Burton

Editorial

By Jade Holroyd Editor This edition of The Courier marks the end of another academic year and for many, the end of their time at University and the end of an era.

I graduated last summer, however I was fortunate enough to bag myself a job at the Students’ Union and arguably more so, fortunate enough to become the Editor of this incredible newspaper.

This year we’ve produced a grand total of 19 issues with around 350 regular writers and a team approximately 44 Sub-Editors, including our fantastic Deputy Editors, Ollie Burton and Daniel Robertson, and Culture Editors, James McCoull and Jack Parker.

I’ve been involved with The Courier since my very first month at University and four years on, despite always knowing that this moment would come around, it’s absolutely crazy to think my time at The Courier is nearing the end.

I’d like to thank each and every one of you that’s contributed to The Courier this year, whether reader or writer, this publication would not be what it is without you.

An extra thank-you to my SubEditorial team; you’ve all been amazing this year and if the most invaluable thing you’ve learnt this year is how to master the perfect Facebook frape, that will leave me a very happy Editor.

An extra, extra thank-you to Ollie, Dan, Jack and James; I’ve been lucky enough to work alongside you guys for two years now and it’s been an absolute pleasure. You’ve used your skill, knowledge, and of course your charming ways, to support the Sub-Ed team, along with myself, through every hurdle that’s been thrown our way. I couldn’t have got through this year without each of you.

Without further ado, I’d like to present you to the final edition of The Courier for the 2016/17 academic year. As always, a lot of time and effort has been put into this issue by countless individuals.

From us all at The Courier - We hope that you enjoy reading this issue as much as we enjoyed creating it.

“It was an absolute pleasure to see the tremendous work of students being officially acknowledged on such an official basis” The Pride of Newcastle Awards focus on celebrating students’ outstanding contributions to the University and the wider community. The awards consist of eleven award categories linking to the University’s societal challenge themes.

Nominees are invited to a celebration dinner where awards are presented in front of an audience of students, staff, graduate recruiters, and city leaders.

When assessing the nominations, judges are looking for evidence of outstanding innovation, effort, contribution, skill development, and impact on the University and/or wider community.

Short listed entrants for the Pride of Newcastle Awards will be announced during the week following 15 May .

The Pride of Newcastle Awards ceremony will take place on the 8 June 2017 in the Civic Centre.

To find out more information about the Pride of Newcastle University awards, go to the Newcastle University NCL+ website.

Est 1948

Media Awards certificate Image: David Goz

(Read more by our Deputy and Culture Editors at thecourieronline.co.uk)

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NEWS

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Academics to present Terrors of the Night

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Deputy Editors Ollie Burton & Daniel Robertson News Editors Liam Carson, Valentina Egorova, Louise Hall Kotryna Kairytė & Helena Vesty

University tries hand at prosthetics

The return of Stressed Out Students

COMMENT

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In profile: Emmanuel Macron

CULTURE

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Blind date: When Tom met Brooklyn Nasty gal: Sophia Amoruso Interview

A brain-controlled prosthetic hand Image: Wikimedia Commons

Is this the end of culture?

Let The Simpsons be at peace Weekly Review: Persona 5

Does alcohol really kill brain cells?

By Errol Kerr Newcastle University is pioneering bionic technology, with their biomedical engineers trialling a new prosthetic hand, which could be revolutionary in regards to the capabilities of prostheses.

Funding from the Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council (EPSRC) has allowed for the development of a bionic hand with a camera affixed to it. This camera will take instantaneous photographs of any object in front of it, allowing for an inbuilt computing system to analyse the size and shape of the object and move the hand in order to react to whatever the object is.

Effectively, this hand is able to ‘see’ and react to any given situation it is placed into, responding automatically to situations, a significant upgrade to current technology, which operates by myoelectric signals – which react to the electrical activity of the skin surface on the

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Just visit thecourieronline.co.uk/getinvolved for more information.

amputated stump.

The hand itself will bypass normal processes which require the user to see the object and stimulate the muscles in the remainder of their limb in order to trigger movement, meaning that the hand itself will act and react to objects that it is placed near to, calculating how it needs to grasp different items.

Prosthetic technology has remained similar in the past century, and with 600 new upper-limb amputees in the UK annually – and 500,000 upper limb amputees in the United States annually, adaptation to current prosthetic technology takes significant time and effort for each patient.

Dr. Kianoush Nazarpour, senior lecturer in Biomedical Engineering at

Newcastle University, notes that “responsiveness has been one of the main barriers to artificial limbs. For many amputees the reference point is their healthy arm or leg so prosthetics seem slow and cumbersome in comparison.”

This development is one step forwards towards a full project that can sense pressure and temperature, and then feed that information back through the nervous system towards the brain, leading to natural, ‘human’ reactions with bionic prosthetics.

Dr. Nazarpour notes that “Using computer vision, we have developed a bionic hand which can respond automatically; in fact, just like a real hand, the user can reach out and pick up a cup or a biscuit with nothing more than a quick glance

“Effectively, this hand is able to ‘see’ and react to any given situation it is placed into”

Editor Jade Holroyd Deputy Editors Ollie Burton and Daniel Robertson News Editors Liam Carson Valentina Egorova, Louise Hall, Kotryna Kairytė and Helena Vesty Comment Editors Jamie Cameron, Sinéad Corkett-Beirne and Sunil Nambiar Culture Editors Jack Oliver Parker and James McCoull Lifestyle Editors Ana Beretsos, Antonia Coleman-Harvey, Ruth Loeffler and Brooklyn Shakeshaft Ward Fashion Editors Liz Rosling, Izzi Watkins and Zofia Zwieglinska Beauty Editors Miranda Stoner, Ellie Trent and Ellen Walker Arts Editors Johnathan Hastings, Meg Holtom and Tamsin Rees Music Editors Sophie Ahmed, Serena Bhardwaj and Ben Grundy Film Editors Emma Allsopp, Zoë Godden and Simon Ramshaw TV Editors Luke Acton, Dominic Corrigan and Alison Scurfield Gaming Editors Errol Kerr, Jared Moore and Jordan Oloman Science Editors Matthew Byrne, Natalie Farmer and Ciara RitsonCourtney Sports Editors Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin and James Sproston

in the right direction.”

In a replication of science fiction, the electrodes within the prosthetic limb would feed into the limb itself connecting the technology with organic nerve endings in order to allow direct communication between the organic brain and a synthetic prosthetic.

This technology has involved experts from Newcastle, Leeds, Essex, Keele, Southhampton and Imperial College London, and has already been trialled, with the University team working closely alongside the local Freeman Hospital to offer these prosthetics to patients.

Anne Ewing, an Advanced Occupational Therapist at Newcastle Upon Tyne’s Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, worked with Dr. Nazarpour, and states that “[t]his project in collaboration with Newcastle University has provided an exciting opportunity to help shape the future of upper limb prosthetics, working towards achieving patients’ prosthetic expectations and it is wonderful to have been involved.”

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

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Monday 15 May 2017

Third time lucky for Dr Appleby?

By Liam Carson News Editor The Head of Mechanical Engineering at Newcastle University, Dr John Appleby, is set to stand for the third time as a Liberal Democrat prospective Parliamentary candidate (PPC), in the upcoming general election.

Following defeats in both 2010 and 2015, Dr Appleby has now been invited to stand again in Ty n e m o u t h as the PPC, in another attempt to oust the incumbent, Alan Campbell, on June 8th.

Dr Appleby stood as the Liberal Democrat PPC for Tynemouth in 2010 but finished third behind the Labour and Conservative candidates, even though the mechanical engineer gained nearly 15% of the vote.

Following the setback, in advance of the 2015 general election, Dr Appleby changed his constituency and stood as a PPC in North Tyneside. The chartered engineer however, took a further setback as he finished fourth behind the Labour, Conservative and UKIP candidates, with just over 4% of the overall vote.

The Cambridge graduate has previously stood for the elected role of North Tyneside’s Mayor. Dr Appleby finished third however, in the election, behind the Labour and Conservative candidates in both 2013 and 2017.

The challenge facing Dr Appleby, in this forthcoming election, couldn’t be more intense as Labour’s Alan Campbell has held the seat since 1997. The challenge is made even more difficult as since the C ons e r v at ive challenger of 2005, Michael McIntyre, came within 5,000 votes of Mr Campbell, the Labour MP has continually extended his majority of his seat.

While taking a deep interest in politics and current affairs, Dr Appleby has the responsibility of balancing his personal research and his teaching, as well as the interests and wellbeing of over 1000 students and staff, at the University.

Dr Appleby also has roles as a school governor, a trustee of several charities and a member of regional and national church committees. The PPC for Tynemouth manages all of this while managing to find the time for a spot of hill-walking and folk music.

Speaking to NorthEastLibDems.com on his political make-up, Dr Appleby

“As a professional in Higher Education, I see the value of our international students (who should not be regarded as migrants). ”

The long sands of Tynemouth.

Image: Flickr, Tom Chance. said: “Politically I’m a pragmatist, aiming to balance well-being and concern for the vulnerable with the need to run things efficiently in everybody’s interests.

I always aim to find ‘constructive consensus’ – ways to move forward that everyone can buy into. Overall,

my priorities are the environment, and increasing cooperation within the UK, with Europe, and the wider world through dialogue, education and trade.

As a professional in Higher Education, I see the value of our international students (who should not be regarded as migrants) and the vital importance of our science and research sectors.

Right now, we need to get the best deal with Europe in everyone’s interests, with a final decision taken by the British people. A bad deal with Europe will leave everyone worse off, and with worse prospects for human and animal welfare, nuclear safety and the environment.”

Newcastle Graduate receives royal approval

By Louise Hall News Editor

A Newcastle University graduate has recently been given the prestigious Royal approval from HRH The Duke of York for her business enterprise, Million Care Solutions.

Shantelle Milton previously graduated Newcastle University with a degree in English Language and honoured with the award at a special awards ceremony for her business MiCarePlan.

She originally developed the concept working as a Care Assistant and Shift Manager in care homes.

The system enables staff to document r e s i d e n t information with ease; access records in a more insightful way; and be more aware of patterns in an individual’s behaviour.

The benefits of MiCarePlan are that it offers clear and measurable benefits to the care sector and its users. Speeding up the input time and allowing for more time to be spent on care, easing the administrative load and simplifying the currently complex chore of completing daily reports and creating/ maintaining Care Plans.

Shantelle’s passion for excellent care standards and her degree in English Language led her to create the concept.

Shantelle, age 23, from Doncaster, said: “I was delighted to have been nominated by the Rise Up team

at Newcastle University. I started my business eight months ago with the support of Rise Up and it has been an incredible journey so far. I will be launching my first product, MiCarePlan, this year and so this award is so timely – the recognition gives me huge confidence to push on and realise my ambition ofenhancing the provision of elderly care in the UK.” Gareth Trainer, Assistant Director (Enterprise and Entrepreneurship) of Newcastle University Careers Service, also commented: “Shantelle’s business, Million Care Solutions, has the potential to transform the care sector in the UK. Her knowledge of the elderly care sector and her passion for enhancing care standards is the driving force behind her business.

Shantelle has demonstrated huge resilience in achieving her vision – now at the proof of concept stage, she is getting her product in the hands of care providers to further refine the product before launching later this this.”

Shantelle received her award at a ceremony organised and hosted by the Universityof Huddersfield on Monday 24th April. The award itself acknowledges the success of young people choosing technical education and encourages wider support from parents, businesses and other stakeholders.

“The recognition gives me huge confidence to push on and realise my ambition of enhancing the provision of elderly care”

Shantelle Milton presented with award Image: Newcastle University Press Office

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Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Newcastle academics to present ‘Terrors of the Night’

By Kotryna Kairyte News Editor Terrors of the Night, an unsettling and disturbing exploration of nightmares by writer, poet and satirist Thomas Nashe, will be performed at the Globe Theatre in London next month.

On Saturday, 20th of May, celebrating 450 years of his birth, the candlelit reading will be a culmination of a day’s intellectual investigation into his body of work led by academics from Newcastle and Sussex universities.

Nashe’s was work broke new boundaries in late Elizabethan literature: he wrote shocking pornographic poetry that was read alongside the work of writers of erotic verse such as Marlowe, John Donne and Richard Barnfield; and a ground-breaking satirical novel, The Unfortunate Traveller.

Project lead Professor Jennifer Richards, from Newcastle University, said: “Thomas Nashe’s prose is chatty and colloquial. He wrote in the common idiom of his times and in doing so, was highly influential on the dramatists of the 1590s, Shakespeare included, and even on how we write today. I am delighted that we will be able to hear

Nashe’s prose for the first time in 400 years.”

Kate De Rycker who is a research associate in Newcastle University’s School of English Literature, Language and Linguistics has adapted the script of Terrors of the Night.

It will be the first time that Nashe’s text has been read aloud by candlelight. Kate said: “Nashe was a real stylistic innovator, and Terrors of the Night is one of his most experimental works. It’s not just a text about dreams and what they mean; its structure has a dreamlike quality, like an Elizabethan stream of consciousness.

“By adapting this prose-text into a performable script, we’re continuing in the spirit of experimentation that Nashe would have appreciated: what is it like, we’re asking, to hear these words read out loud?”

This event is part of an AHRC research project into Nashe’s work by Professor Richards of Newcastle University and Professor Andrew Hadfield of the University of Sussex.

Tickets for Terrors of the Night are still available to purchase online.

“It’s not just a text about dreams and what they mean; its structure has a dreamlike quality, like an Elizabethan stream of consciousness”

Globe Theatre in London Image: Schlaier @ Wikipedia

The Courier

Monday 15 May 2017

news .5

Newcastle University medical scientists recognised

By James Johnson Professors David Burn and Derek Mann are among 46 exceptional scientists elected to the prestigious Fellowship of the Academy of Medical Sciences. The eminent researchers are being recognised for their biomedical and health work.

They will be leveraging their talent to assist the Academy in achieving its mission of advancing research for the benefit of society, tackling the health challenges of today and the future.

The diverse talent of the Academy’s Fellows ensures that it can tackle complex issues, whilst their knowledge, influence and resources make them powerful assets.

Prof. Burn, currently ProVice Chancellor of the Faculty of Medical Sciences and Professor of Movement Disorders Neurology, also performs several roles outside of academia.

One of these is as Clinical Director of Parkinson’s UK. Prof. Burn, who has an international reputation for research in dementia, was chosen for his work in the field of movement disorders.

Reacting in a magnanimous fashion, Prof. Burn said “I am very grateful to my collaborators, other staff and trainees … who made these outputs possible”.

Joining Prof. Burn in receiving the honour is Prof. Mann, currently Professor of Hepatology and Dean of Research and Innovation, who is renowned worldwide for discovering therapies that prevent and treat liver disease. In

reacting he highlighted the wider significance of this recognition, saying it was “a tremendous honour for me personally, for my research group, my Faculty and Newcastle University”.

This news will certainly be celebrated as a boost to the university’s reputation and it will compliment efforts to attract exceptional students, as well as staff.

Significantly, much of the other new Fellows are based at highly ranked universities including Oxford, Cambridge, King’s College London, Imperial College London and University College London.

Consequently, the glaring geographical imbalance in the spread of Fellows, which is orientated overwhelmingly to the south of England, will continue.

The current President of the Academy, King’s College London’s Professor Sir Robert Lechler, hailed each Fellow as having “made an outstanding impact in the community, contributing to the development of better healthcare”.

Markedly, the latest Fellowship intake includes the highest ever female cohort at 37% of the whole.

Although this will likely be greeted as a welcome development, which will hopefully inspire more women to enter and achieve in this area, it is unlikely to satisfy those concerned by a chronic lack of representation for women.

Notably, women make up only 15% of the current pool of 1094 Fellows.

Although the scientists were elected at a meeting on 20 April 2017, following a process that began in July 2016, formal admittance will take place at a ceremony on 28 June 2017.

“Fellows ‘made an outstanding impact in the community, contributing to the developmen of better healthcare’”

Medical School Doors.

Image: Tubular World

Making music out of junk with Go Volunteer

By Sophie Henderson Five volunteers from Newcastle University Students’ Union (NUSU) have been partaking in a six-week pilot project to help North East children develop their musical skill.

‘Junk Music’, which has been taking place at Nunsmoor Centre, has seen students from Newcastle University’s ‘Go Volunteer’ scheme sharing their knowledge with children - many of whom have a disability- to help them engage with something completely new.

The project was funded by Newcastle City Council’s Children with Disabilities Department and has achieved great success. The Nunsmoor Trust have submitted applications to funders to be able to run further courses in the near future.

Aimed at 8-12 year olds, ‘Junk Music’ has helped children to make musical instruments out of regular everyday items, which would otherwise be thrown away. The project brought a wide range of abilities together, allowing children with additional needs and/ or disabilities to work with their nondisabled peers and share in the joy of

making musical instruments from recycled materials.

Alyson Hampshire, chair of The Nunsmoor Centre Trust, commented on its lasting effect: “This has been a very positive experience for the Trust and, more importantly, has been extremely beneficial for the community we serve.”

“At times the students have led the group, and at other times provided one to one support for the 12 children who have needed it to reach their potential.

Without that extra support and input provided by the students, this group could not have taken place.”

Following on from the project, every child is set to receive a CD with which they have contributed. The team are also planning a performance to which families and friends will be invited. Participators noted that there was a real sense of pride as certificates were handed out at the last workshop.

Alyson added: “We look forward to working with students from Go Volunteering in future Junk Music Projects.

The students were hugely beneficial to achieving the aims and goals of the Pilot Project.”

To get involved next year, visit www. nusu.co.uk/govolunteer/involved/internal/junkmusic or email volunteercoordinator.union@newcastle.ac.uk.

“Without that extra support provided by the students, this group could not have taken place”

Self-made piano.

Image: Sikora Koźmiński Phototeam

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Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

‘Stressed Out Students’ to help relieve exam stress

By Laura Higgins With the busy exam period looming before us once again, Newcastle University Student Union provides support to students on how to both prioritise deadlines and revision, and allocate time to relaxation in order to prevent stress and anxiety.

An array of services are available including the Student Wellbeing Service at Kings Gate; the Student Advice Centre (SAC) in the Students’ Union; and the Welfare and Equality Officer, who will be holding drop-in sessions between 2-4pm every Wednesday of exam period.

In addition, students will be able to confide and discuss their academic concerns with David Quinn, the University’s academic advisor, who is more than willing to help relieve stress during this stressful time.

In addition, if students want to escape the mundanity of revision for a short space of time, there are many stress busting activities organised on campus as well.

Every Wednesday from the 10th May until 7th June at 11-3pm, there are free massages available in the Students Union which is an easy way to relax after a busy day of revision.

Moreover, the University have also

organised a Puppy Day on 5th June at 11am-3pm in Venue L2 of the Students’ Union. This will benefit not only students as they will be able to have an invaluable break from their books by cuddling the puppies but will also give the guide dogs a break from training. This will undoubtedly be a popular event and to avoid disappointment, students must sign up for their fifteen-minute slot.

“We are very fortunate to be surrounded by a support network during the exam season!

It is hard to balance your life with this amount of workload, but the University and Students Union helps a lot at this stressful time,” said Emilija, final year Biomedical Genetics student. “I especially loved a Puppy Day last year, so definitely will be going this year!”

On multiple days throughout the exam season, students will be given the opportunity to receive a free henna tattoo between 2.30-5.30pm in the Robinson Library.

The array of relaxing incentives will be available on campus, including free tea and coffee every day from 11am, table tennis tables, counselling services and retail therapy.

Go to NUSU website to see the full list of events available.

“It is hard to balance your life with this amount of workload, but the University and Students Union helps a lot at this stressful time”

Image: Ayhan Savaşan @ Flickr

The Courier

Monday 15 May 2017

news .7

Athletics and Cross-Country club celebrates successful year

By Toby Bryant As the end of University draws closer, it is time for the Student Union’s clubs and societies to celebrate their achievements throughout the year. The sudden increase in students wearing dinner suits in the town centre suggests, the most popular way to do this is in the form of a summer ball.

The Courier reports on what happened at the Athletics and Cross-Country (NUAXC) Summer Ball earlier this month.

Although a last couple of athletics events remain, including the NUAXC organised TyneCup in June, the club donned their best outfits and took to The Living Room on Grey Street to unwind after a successful year for the club.

NUAXC President of 2016-17, Jack Olsen, who leaves this year said: “The ball is a really important evening for the club as it allows us to reflect on the year’s hard work and successes with our coaches who have paved the way for such a successful year - I’ll really miss next year.”

Social Secretary Rachael Harrison, who worked hard in organising the event, spoke of the venue being a “tradition” for the club and commented on the fact it was “cheap enough to meet

our ideal ticket price for all the food and drinks” which kept the runners happy.

The Living Room prides itself on its “amazing selection of wines” and “delicious cocktails” and is, in-fact, launching a new menu on Wednesday 17th May. Attendees chose their preferred food from a set three-course menu which included a Rump Steak and Pulled Pork Burger.

The meal was followed by the traditional club awards which feature a range of serious, and some fun, accolades.

Alice Nottingham won Athlete of the Year whilst Shona Haston scooped up Runner of the Year as well as CrossCountry Fresher of the Year for the immediate impact she has made on the club since arriving at the University.

Shona also shared Runner’s Runner with fellow-fresher Charis Taylor with new President Katie Travers picking up Athlete’s Athlete. Shona stated that “winning the awards was a good way to top off a great night” and that she is “looking forward to being captain next year and hopefully the team will continue to be successful”.

The night also acted as a hand-over of responsibilities from the current committee to next year’s who were voted for the week before at the annual AGM.

“The ball is a really important evening for the club as it allows us to reflect on the year’s hard work and successes with our coaches who have paved the way for such a successful year”

Club members at the Summer Ball Image: MO

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NEWSTACK Belfast

Gender pay gap critised Queen’s University has recently been criticised for a “shocking and profoundly worrying” gender pay gap among professors, by the University and Colleges Union.

According to the Higher Education Statistics Agency, QUB’s female professors on average almost 15% less than their male counterparts. In 2015-16, female professors earned an average of £69,910, whilst male academics earned £81,708. In order to address the £11,798 gap, the university is holding two meetings with senior staff, with the hope of resolving the issue.

However, the UCU has raised con-

cerns that the measures that have thus far been proposed will only bridge the gap by a 2.5%.

By extension, the body ahs also pointed out that it does not “believe that this offer attends the clearly articulated concerns of the female professors, in respect of the long-term pay inequality they have suffered”.

Queen’s University issued a statement in response, saying that it is “one of the leading institutions in the UK for tackling the unequal representation of women in higher education”, and is developing a “holistic action plan to address the gap”.

Cambridge

Don’t blame universities for lack of black students Members of Cambridge University’s Afro-Caribbean Society commented that top British universities should not be “attacked” for admitting lower numbers of ethnic minority students, after just 15 black male undergraduates, and 23 black female students, were admitted to Cambridge in 2015.

Daniel Oluboyede, 19 , speaking as a member of CUACS, said that institutions should focus on messages of em-

powerment, so that young people can become more sure of themselves and their abilities. He said: “The rate will not increase if the number of applications remains the same. I feel that many young black boys don’t believe they can make it to Cambridge whether that be for social reasons or due to statistics and end up not applying. These are the young black boys we wanted to reach out to.”

Reading

Mediaeval pages found The University of Reading has discovered pages of one the first books ever printed in England. From approximately 1476, the mediaeval priest’s handbook was found in the university’s archives among thousands of other items being catalogued at the time for a collection on the history of print and design. The text, written in mediaeval Latin long before the Reformation, explains to priests how to organise religious feast days for English saints.

The librarian who made the discovery, Erika Delbecque, remarked that “this

well preserved item is the only one of its kind, and one of just two surviving fragments” from the book produced by English printer, William Caxton. The university came into possession of this item, now valued at £100,000, quite unwittingly. The pages had been purchased among other material for two decades by the time Delbecque found the fragment.

According to the Incunabula Short Title Catalogue, this item is now one of only 79 surviving examples of texts printed in 1476 in England.

Glasgow

Exam details leaked

A cheating debate has ensued at the medical school of the University of Glasgow, where it has been revealed that students used social media to leak details of their exams.

The medical school commented that a “small number” of students used Facebook, Whatsapp and the University’s messaging platform to inform others who had not yet taken the assessment about the questions.

Over 270 medical students have now been told that they must retake their end-of-course practical assessment be-

cause of online “collusion”, whilst two students are facing a disciplinary and fitness to practice procedures.

The latter punishment could have a serious impact on their future careers, as there is potential for them to be barred from becoming doctors.

The monitoring of the social media sites used has now been increased in response, as course leaders have accepted that they are unsure of how much the future medics took advantage of the information released.

By Helena Vesty News Editor

10.

Comment thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

Monday 15 May 2017

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Comment Editors Jamie Cameron, Sinéad CorkettBeirne & Sunil Nambiar courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

President Macron: Internationalism fights on

Our writers discuss the new French president-elect Emmanuel Macron, and what his victory will mean for our state of decay Sophie Chapman

T

he result of the French election came as a relief in a distinctly antiestablishment political climate.

The vote to leave the EU and Donald Trump’s election were both seismic shocks felt around the world sending stock markets crashing and consumer confidence tumbling.

In both cases, tiny majorities caused huge repercussions (see 1,269,501 more votes for Brexit over Remain and a Hillary Clinton popular

vote victory).

Emmanuel Macron convincingly pushed aside the far right challenge of Marine Le Pen, raking in 66% of the vote. Despite being the daughter of a convicted racist and pedalling policies that included giving priority to French nationals on any public provision and ending free education for the children of undocumented immigrants, Le Pen’s 34% still marks a historically high vote for France’s far right.

Although the majority of the French population saw sense and chose to vote for Macron there should be some alarm over how many people were willing to continue on the slippery slope towards the right.

The task facing the President-elect, Macron, is by no means an easy one. With a country so deeply divided and frankly frightened, reuniting them will be a tough ask. Macron has vowed to “do everything to make sure you never have reason again to vote for extremes.”

And he has a lot of people to convince.

Turnout was the lowest in more than 40 years.

12 million voters abstained and 4.2 million spoiled ballot papers, choosing to vote for neither Macron nor Le Pen. The traditional left and right parties were ejected from the race in the first round – the first time this has happened in the post-WW2 period.

‘‘With a country so deeply divided and frankly frightened, reuinting them will be a tough ask” Adding to the fractions already in existence Macron has the added difficulty of having no support in parliament. Without a majority in a fractious political landscape Macron’s free market, pro-business reform and pro-EU policies won’t be able to get off the ground.

‘‘12 millions voters abstained and 4.2 million spoiled ballot papers” Perhaps the outcome of the election perhaps shows dissatisfaction only goes so far. In France with so many urgent problems needing attention, turning to the extreme was not the most attractive solution but, it could have been very different.

Le Pen was backed by Donald Trump and the Kremlin and even with a lacklustre performance in the presidential debates she mounted a strong challenge for a party that previously on the fringes of politics.

Although Macron’s election has been viewed by Brussels and Berlin as a victory, questions remain over why so many people are willing to go against the status quo and risk it all on an extremist.

Benjamin Eckford

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here have been far too many apologists and excuse-makers for Marine Le Pen recently. Have we all forgotten something?

Her party were allies of the Nazis during the Second World War. They were collaborators, not out of expediency but out of ideology. They gleefully participated in the deportation of France’s Jews to die in the death camps. Since then, the party has continued to be openly anti-Semitic, Holocaust-deniers, racists,

xenophobes, Islamophobes and ultra-nationalists.

It has condemned democracy as weak. It has been consistently against right for women and LGBT+ people. All of these are fundamentally immoral.

Add to this their complete economic stupidity, advocating France leave the Eurozone and EU – a recipe for economic suicide. The mere fact that Le Pen received so many votes in the first and second rounds of the election, the fact alone that she reached the second round, is not a good sign.

‘‘[FN] gleefully participated in the deportation of France’s Jews to die in the death camps”

The far-right thrives on insecurity. The French people are currently feeling very insecure, in their workplaces, their bank accounts, in their homes and in their sense of national identity. Le Pen offered simplistic solutions, endlessly repeated, and appealed to all of the worst aspects of human nature. Thankfully she was crushed in the second round.

‘‘We can defeat the far-right if we are brave enough to confront it” The reaction by Nigel Farage, comparing Macron’s victory to France’s surrender to Germany in 1940, was utterly shameful and disgusting. To compare present-day Germany and the EU to the Nazis is an insult to the millions who died fighting the Nazis for the cause of peace, and especially to those murdered in the Holocaust. This is the nature of the new far-right, and defeating it was imperative.

And Macron did so, as Stephen Bush wrote in the New Statesman on 8 May, not by copying the mainstream right in Germany and Holland and borrowing the far-right’s rhetoric, but by repudiating it entirely. Macron was unashamedly pro-EU, pro-immigration, pro-Muslim and antiracism. He stood for internationalism, social liberalism and multiculturalism, and he won by a landslide.

This shows we can defeat the far-right if we are brave enough to confront it head on. I speak as no Macron fan-boy, with his neoliberal economic policies. In the first round I wanted Jean-Luc Melenchon to win - but in the second-round runoff, a one-versus-one contest between Macron and Le Pen, it was a no-brainer. You must support the defeat of fascism when it’s put in front of you.

General Election: Left’s unity is vital to its chances Alexandra Sadler addresses the possibility of a Conservative landslide, arguing that in-fighting could doom left parties

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he question of the hour is undoubtedly ‘who will win the general election?’

Pollsters are frantically trying to predict who will be Prime Minister, which parties will gain or lose, and the strength of the largest party’s majority.

Given the utter failure of pollsters to predict recent electoral results, mostly notably the 2015 general election, EU referendum and 2016 Presidential election, to what extent should we trust any of their projections?

If you look on social media, it appears that Labour may win the majority. If you read the newspapers or watch the news, it appears that the Conservatives are expected to win the majority.

Online support for Jeremy Corbyn, or at least the message that Labour are trying to convey, seems to have intensified since the general election was announced. At least, on my timeline this appears to be the case. However, this might just be because I’m the stereotypical liberal student. Reading the news seems to tell a very different story. It seems almost a foregone conclusion that Theresa May and the Conservatives will maintain, and probably

increase, a majority in Parliament. Given the recent local election results, it certainly seems that the Conservatives will increase their majority, if the trend continues in June. The decimation of UKIP, sharp decrease of Labour-controlled seats in many traditional strongholds, and ground lost by the SNP and Liberal Democrats, suggests that it’s unlikely that a ‘strong and stable’ opposition will emerge post-election.

‘‘I don’t necessarily mean all parties united together... but each individual party needs to unify themselves” Therefore, should we accept the forgone conclusion that the Conservatives will continue in government, but with a larger majority, not unlike Labour’s 1997 electoral landslide? Not necessarily.

Pollsters have been wrong before, and it’s possible that they’ll be wrong again. Grassroots support for alternative parties appears strong, if their online

presence, and the numbers of people signing up to the opposition, are to be believed.

However, if the opposition parties really want to present themselves as an alternative to the Conservatives, they need to present a united front.

I don’t necessarily mean all parties united together against the Conservative government, but that each individual party needs to unify themselves.

How can an opposition party effectively oppose if they’re too busy infighting and debating leadership to maintain a solid set of policies and a supporters’ base?

‘‘If you look on social media, it appears that Labor will win...

If you read the newspapers.... it appears the conservatives are expected to win”

If the opposition parties are really serious about leading a government then they need to show it.

This is particularly important in the case of Labour,

particularly as they’ve lost long-established councils such as Glasgow and mayoral contests in the Labour heartlands of West Midlands and Tees Valley. However, the SNP are also facing a challenge from the Conservatives, yet I’d be surprised if the Greens and Liberal Democrats lose MPs, considering their current minimal numbers.

‘‘I don’t necessarily mean all parties united together... but each individual party needs to unify themselves” The Conservatives seem to have benefited the most from the almost total collapse of UKIP, but the Liberal Democrats could win big, benefitting from the discord and friction within Labour, but also from rebel Tory voters resenting a hard Brexit. Only time will tell how the elections turn out, but for the sake of the existence of an effective opposition, if Labour want to at least survive they need to get their act together.

The Courier

comment .11

Monday 15 May 2017

Wanted: Unbiased, factual news Caitlin Disken is feeling increasingly let down by a corporate media lacking in objectivity W ith the upcoming general election, it’s no surprise that politics is the main focus of the press at the moment.

You can’t walk past a newspaper stand without seeing the faces of Theresa May or Jeremy Corbyn, and news channels are constantly blaring out campaign trail footage. If you don’t pay too much attention to the press, you might think they simply exercise freedom of speech to report whatever they like, and that any party bias is irrelevant. Especially for outlets such as the BBC, a public broadcaster, it’s easy to assume that what they report is right, true, and they never abuse their power by attempting to sway voters.

Yet with the recent controversy over the BBC’s political editor Laura Kuenssberg breaching accuracy and impartiality guidelines in a report about Jeremy Corbyn, are we living in a UK where even publicly-owned media outlets are displaying political bias? Considering the effect the press can have on the public’s social and political views, this is increasingly worrying. Many of us are already aware of the influence of the Murdoch empire, which includes The Sun, The Times and The Sunday Times. Murdoch’s newspapers alone have

the capacity for their output to be read by 18% of the UK’s population each week, which may not seem like an incredible amount, until The Sun’s reaction to the April 1992 general election is taken into account. The newspaper had yielded so much influence that they printed the headline ‘It’s The Sun Wot Won It’, convinced that they had swung the election in the Tories’ favour.

‘‘The BBC’s political editor Laura Kuenssberg [breached] accuracy amd impartiality guidelines in a report about Jeremy Corbyn” You might not think that newspapers have the same hold over the public today, especially with the rise of social media as a news source, yet there’s still a direct correlation between which newspapers people read, and what they vote.

62% of The Guardian readers voted Labour in 2015, yet only 14% of Daily Mail readers wanted to propel Ed Miliband to power. On the flipside, 69% of Daily Telegraph readers were found to vote

Tory, compared to just 6% of Guardian readers.

Of course, variety amongst the press regarding left and right-wing media is a necessary aspect of democracy, but when it has the power to sway readers’ voting intention to such an extent, are we in need of a truly bias-free news source? If we want democracy to truly work, then press outlets that lay out the facts, and have equal coverage of all parties, is a necessity.

“We need a press that isn’t afraid to lay out the bare facts and defy political allignments” Whether this will ever be possible when a lot of the UK’s media is controlled by a few rich moguls is debatable, but a conversation about making it happen definitely needs to begin. Especially in a post-Brexit world, we need a press that isn’t afraid to lay out the bare facts and defy political alignments. Not all of the media needs to do this, but especially for a public corporation like the BBC, impartiality is crucial.

Stay classy, stay student suffrage Our writers discuss the merits of student engagement on campus and look for improvement Amanda Yap

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ased on its ability to sustained its record for high student satisfaction locally and internationally, it is undeniable that Newcastle University has utilised its student population to harness student engagement in big or small ways around campus.

In university, students are thrust into important positions which tests their adaptability threshold and their confidence to be positive and effective leaders, preparing them for what is to come when they enter the viciously competitive, dog-eat-dog workforce arena. Nevertheless, not only does it ensure that students are not caught on the hop when entering their first employment, it makes them feel included in the university community because they are empowered to make a difference.

“Students are thrust into important positions which tests their... confidence to be positive and effective leaders” Inclusion into commandeering positions has always been a key feature in enhancing the university experience, however, further improvements can be made if more international students can be seen to be taking up more keynote positions in various facets of the Students’ Union Council, and various societies predominantly dominated by local students. Yes, we have international students stepping up to be committee leaders of the different overseas societies, whose nationalities match up to the societies they represent. However, we must remember that they do not just represent their home societies, because international students are as much as part of the university

student body as the other self-deserving local student.

means that, even when I miss a meeting, I feel involved.

“Injecting an international perspective into the... student culture would make the [SU] experience a more diverse one”

“Societies encompass hobbies as well as sport and I have only heard positive things”

As refreshing as it is to see greenhorn student council members stepping up annually, ready to demonstrate their ability to make their mark and leave a notable legacy, injecting an international perspective into the overall university student culture would make the student union experience a more diverse one, not only for the council members themselves but for the rest of the international community as well. We need to constantly remember that as we recruit quality candidates into motivational and influential roles of commitment, the university is also nurturing future global leaders of tomorrow which signifies the urgent need to inject an international outlook to ramp up the synergy and working dynamics of the student union and population.

Let’s not see it as a clash of cultures but an avenue to conceive greater cohesion with the 16% who enter the university doors yearly to make Higher Education a memorable one even after graduation.

Toby Bryant

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he money we pay to go to University is not simply for the degree we leave with.

The whole University experience encompasses so much more than just academics and we are lucky that Newcastle has so many extracurricular activities available to us.

The various forms of student media have a wealth of opportunities such as speaking to leaders in academic research, attending art exhibitions or concerts and the use of Facebook to distribute articles

The Student Union offers 65 sports clubs, which welcome students of all abilities, and there are over 170 societies to try. Having taken up X-Country since starting University I can vouch for the inclusivity of these. The club have been so welcoming from the moment I started as a beginner to the first-time I competed for the University.

The X-Country society arranges diverse socials to ensure all can attend and committee positions are open to all who want to run for them. Societies encompass hobbies as well as sport and I have only heard positive reviews from friends. I have a flatmate who joined the Salsa Society recently and how happy it makes him is clear for my fellow housemates to see – no doubt he regrets not getting himself involved earlier.

“Student media [has] a wealth of opportunities” I do understand that some students may feel as if it is too hard, possibly daunting, to engage with activities when arriving at University. At school there would always be a teacher encouraging you to try something new but at University that is not the case.

“Part of ‘growing up’ at university is learning to find your own openings” Students are expected to be more active in trying new things and seek out their own activities.

However cliché it may sound, part of “growing up” at University is learning to find your own openings. We’re adults now, it’s time to seize our own opportunities.

SOAPBOX COMMENT’S HOME OF WEEKLY RANTS TURNOUT TERROR

Alexander Ardley-Ingram

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h yes! Only two years later, and we’re having another general election.

Let’s talk voter turnout - a cliché topic for some.

Hearing the number of viewpoints on our campus, there is a pathetic lack of turnout.

Given the historically narrow margins of elections - looking at Brexit, Trump or the classic example of Al Gore in 2000 losing by 534 votes - and the strong views of an educated student population, you can almost hear the world’s smallest violin playing in the background.

Principally, those who don’t vote have little to complain about. The 2015 general election showcased more people who chose not to vote, than those voting for any single party. Ranging from disinterest to my vote ‘doesn’t make a difference’, A culture has been established, of treating democracy as voluntary. The greatest decisions can be made by the smallest margins.

SUMMER STYLINGS

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Dayam Ali

ummer is right around the corner, and one of the biggest issues many people face is what to wear.

We all get confused between the summer weather and the winter weather, since we live in England, meaning that we are never prepared for the right type of weather. So, what are the don’ts for this summer?

Don’t wear socks and sandals, no matter if the sun is out or not - that’s just a complete insult to the word fashion. Don’t wear socks that are too thick during the summer either, stick with the no-show socks, and stay fresh.

Another don’t is to wear coats or hoodies, always keep a light weight jacket such as a bomber jacket in your wardrobe for the colder evenings in the summer. This one is for the guys - no matter how hot it is outside - please keep your tops on when you’re not at the beach or in your private place. Another don’t is to not wear winter shoes during the summer, get yourself a clean pair of sneakers, to have a summer look, rather than wearing heavy, sweaty boots. It will keep you cool and collected. These are my fashion don’ts for this summer.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I

Jamie Cameron

t’s been a wonderful year at the Courier, despite a terrible year for the world at large. Perhaps the most saddening thing of the year is saying goodbye to many of our fantastic writers and editors.

In the Comment section we like to keep an eye on times. In current affairs, I love a good old political argument and its been a joy to see so many opinions shed on our pages - yes even the wrong ones!

Yet I’m sure I don’t just speak for Comment when I say how pleasing it is as an editor to see people share such an interest in journalism, or merely in illustrating their thoughts in print. The Courier is a tight-knit community and a really special experience - I look forward to welcoming our new editors, but none of it would be possible without the input of our writers either, or the readers for that matter!

They say all good things must come to an end. Maybe so, but the memories last much longer.

12.

Culture thecourieronline.co.uk/culture

Rant of the Week: Hairy ain’t scary Antonia Coleman- Harvey is sick of all the hair haters!

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ote: this article isn’t about shaming women who remove their body hair, it’s a jovial attempt to address how we should stop stigmatising women for having body hair, and work towards empowering each other.

Despite living in the library, pending dissertation deadlines, multi-coloured revision notes and procrastinating like your life depends on it, summer is on its way! *All women everywhere, together now, eyeee rollll* In winter, you can literally feel the prickles seeping through the teeny gaps of the thickest pair of jeans you own – ain’t it liberating, ladies? Yet - and I too am guilty of this – as soon as the faintest ray of sunshine comes out, so too do the mini skirts and camisoles. This causes a frenzy amongst housemates all queueing up waiting outside the one shared shower cos God forbid dry shaving.

I remember a sunny day a couple of months ago, a work colleague was literally wearing three-quarter length culottes and said, ‘I put these on this morning and thought, shit.’ And guess what she did? She shaved a quarter of the hair off her legs, ankles up. Admittedly, this was bloody hilarious (and so relatable) but it provoked a kind of resentment within me, to be able to fervently express and exert my womanhood, hair and all. Hair shaming should not impede on women’s pride to exist in their natural body, but rather to celebrate and find self acceptance within.

“Hair shaming should not impede on a person’s pride in their own body!”

There may even be serious implications of shaming women for their hair; it sets a very narrow precedent for younger generations. Body hair in today’s society is arguably one of the most public and visible identifiers of an individual’s gender. If there’s a hint of it in an unexpected place, or the lack of hair in a certain area everyone assumes it will grow, external social pressures can affect how feminine or masculine someone is perceived… Do I even have to explain how wrong this is?! Hair shaming even causes relationship pressures and perpetuates insecurities. Here’s a scenario: what if someone says, ‘doesn’t your partner mind?’ You bloody answer back, ‘actually, they don’t.’ Surprisingly, choosing not to shave doesn’t make you an entirely undesirable yeti-esque fur ball of a human being. If you are seeing someone, the chances are they don’t mind, and if they’re a bloke, they’re probably hairier than you anyway!

Now, I’ve really tried to not overdo it on the feminist rant rant rant front, and I don’t personally believe growing armpit hair, for example, should be plastered all over Facebook, it attracts all sorts of unwanted attention. (And c’mon the real reason you didn’t shave is cos you’re lazy).

However, I’d like to say that it comes down to the fact that choosing to shave or not is a totally personal choice, and is what makes you an individual.

I t really isn’t that much different from having pink hair or short hair or funky badges ironed on your denim jacket. If you’re doing what feels right for you, embrace it. Power to the (hairy) pussy!

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Culture Editors: James McCoull & Jack Oliver Parker Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming & Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline

La la livin’ la vida London

It’s a well known fact that as a University, Newcastle is full of Londoners - but if you’ve never been, Rebecca Doneghan is here to convince you why you should take a trip South

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nly a few days before visiting London several weeks ago did my mother and I realise that we had probably chosen the busiest weekend of the year – Easter. What a great idea that was. Sounds sarcastic, but it actually proved to be an excellent weekend, visiting unconventional spots during our trip.

First stop, being a true cupcake fiend at heart; Lola’s Cupcake stand in King’s Cross tube station. We hadn’t even stepped into London, but we were on holiday so let the treats roll! After a quick change at the hotel, we headed back out.

Where did we end up? In a Dutch pub in Chinatown, eating fish and chips and drinking Italian white wine. You couldn’t write it! It was great, apart from our wobbly table that the waitress warned us was wobbly. We hadn’t noticed… Then, Les Miserables. What. A. Show. I counted crying three times as not a lot. True, this is what a London tourist does, but how could we not? And that was that for our stereotypical trip to the capital.

“It’s the most colourful place I’ve ever seen and the atmosphere was fanatstic”

Saturday morning, we headed to Covent Garden to meet a family friend. We were wonderfully entertained by a range of acts; a quirky string quartet and an opera singer who stopped at nothing to involve the crowds in his antics. Once we met our third musketeer, we headed for lunch – lots of food and lots of wine! Next stop, a place I’d only ever seen in a film; Notting Hill. It is the most colourful place I’ve ever seen, and the atmosphere was fantastic due to the buzz of the Portobello Road market.

Everything from vintage cameras to china sets were for sale, you can literally find anything you’re looking for! I did want to see was the infamous travel book shop from Notting Hill the film, but, I’m sorry say, it doesn’t exist anymore… The sunshine and rainbow of houses made up for it though!

“I’d definitely encourage doing something different in London” Before heading for even more food, the alcohol continued to flow, this time in the form of delicious cocktails at Skylon Bar. Hidden at the top of the Southbank Centre, we enjoyed a stunning view of the Thames as the sun set that evening. There is a very ‘fancy’ feel to this place, so the three of us were on our best behaviour, but we couldn’t fault the service or politeness of the staff. It’s definitely worth seeking out this hidden gem, for the ambiance as well as the liquor!

Finally, on our last day, the highlight of the weekend; a visit to Choccywoccydoodah (yes, you did read that right!) Found in the trendy district of Carnaby Street, the fashion hub of London in the 1960s, it would be wrong to not visit this chocolatey heaven! There is a café inside as well as the shop itself, which offers an incredible range of sweets and treats, and the staff were kind enough to sing a surprise happy birthday to me! The white chocolate and strawberry sundae and decaf tea were the nicest I’ve ever had and weren’t too sickly – the perfect way to end the weekend, before picking up a novelty mug and heading for the train home. I’d definitely encourage doing something different if visiting London this year; these tips are just the tip of the iceberg!

A day in the life of your Lifestyle Editors This issue marks the last for this years’ Lifestyle Eds. To say farewell, they are here with their confessions, experiences and top tips for the future Courier Lifestyle section Tip 1: It’s so exciting starting the year fresh knowing you’re going to be part of the AMAZING lifestyle team and an even bigger Courier family (eee, yeah, it’s cringe but you’ll get used to it.) This top tip revolves around sass. You need sass, and sass needs you too. Who’s gonna wanna read a boring review of a dreary cafe? You need pazzazz! You need buzz!

You need GOSSIP. The Lifestyle section is FUN! Wanna get frazzled in Mono and write about it? You can! Pick the best cafes, the best trebs bars, the best exercises and recipes, and you’re on to a winning section next year. Gooood luck. With Lifestyle Love, Antonia

Tip 2 It makes me sad that I have just finished my final ever Courier, although the

other editors will be relieved thanks to my lack of photoshop skills. I only started writing for The Courier as a spur of the moment decision after having a conversation at dinner, and this also happened with being a sub-editor. It has been the best thing for my final year of my degree. Meeting new people, learning how to manage my time efficiently and obtaining a range of new skills.

But lets be honest, my favourite part was being sent on a blind date. I thought I had got away with it and in my second to last week of editing I received a text with a time and place to meet. (I am not sure that I actually agreed to it) All in all it was a good date though!

Confession: I also seem to have exploited my position by setting articles for topics going on in my life. If I was having motivational problems with my dissertation or struggling to get over a boy I set to the writers as my very own councillors! I am pretty sure you could work out what was going on in our lives through the pages we put out each week.

I have enjoyed this year so much more thanks to editing and the office became a little safe-haven to de-stress through-out the year. I can only thank all the people involved for making it a thoroughly wonderful experience!

Tip 3: I’ve loved being an editor this year… but I’d be lying if I said I got into it because of my love of InDesign. I am a dating show fanatic, and my

lifelong goal is to be the reason two people meet and fall in love. I want to walk into a wedding, smell the flowers, watch the bride’s mother smiling and know that it all came about because of me. Sadly, until last year opportunities for matchmaking rarely happened in my everyday life. I realised I needed to try a new tactic if I was ever going to achieve my goals. And that’s where The Courier came in. Being a ‘Blind Date Co-ordinator’ has arguably been one my favourite things about third year. We get to force strangers into awkward situations, spend way too much in Alvinos, and then ask them nosey questions about it afterwards. Legit, I think this might be my calling. Unfortunately, I’m no closer to reaching my goal, but I’ll keep trying (you can read my own attempt at finding love on the opposite page… spoiler, no wedding bells as of yet). To whoever fills our dating shoes, here are a few top tips: Don’t set up people on the same course- they’ll have a lot in common, but where’s the drama in that? Set up people who may look very different on paper, you never know who’s going to get on! And don’t be afraid to ask people intimate questions… make them squirm, it makes good reading!

The Courier

.13

Monday 15 May 2017

Tom Hussey , 2nd year Politics meets Brooklyn Shakeshaft-Ward , 3rd Year English Literature

Tom on Brooklyn

Hi Tom, how did your date go?

Good, yeah went really well. Really surprised actually, we’re quite different people but it was definitely a pleasant surprise.

Where did you go?

We met at Monument and went down to the Hop&Cleaver, then Pitcher and Piano then Alvino’s.

What was your first impression of her?

She was quite different, alternative, had a cool haircut. But that sort of... the girl your mum told you never to play with look if you see what I mean. But she was really cool.

Had you dressed up?

I wore a shirt and not very dressy jeans and shoes.

She looked really nice, she’d made an effort but she’d come straight from work.

What sorts of things did you talk about?

Everything! Family, music. She’s a big music fan and we had similar taste, night’s out. We had conflicting political views though. She works for the Labour party and I’m a tory so it was interesting to hear about that.

What was your favourite part of the date?

Urr.. Probably waiting to meet her, that was quite exciting, quite liked the anticipation.

And during the date?

Probably going to the Hop&Cleaver. I’m an ale fan so we had a nice beer there.

Were you nervous pre-date?

Kind of but when I got there it just kind of happened and she was very chill.

Where there any awkward moments?

Not that I can think of... No, the conversation flowed pretty well. We got on really well and yeah was just a bit of fun. Maybe not a spark but definitely a friendship.

Did you find out any fun facts about her?

Well she works for the Labour party which was quite interesting for me. She used to work at MensBar, and she’s an editor for The Courier! It was quite nice because I write for Comment occasionally.

If Brooklyn was an item of clothing what would she be?

Item of clothing? Ooh er.. Maybe like a cool headdress .. a turban? Somehting fun and strange...

Something alternative and a bit different.

And if she was a chocolate bar?

Probably a Wispa. She’s kind of quiet but also quite bubbly on the inside. Ah God that’s quite cheesy isn’t it haha.

That’s a nice answer! What would you rate your date out of 10?

I’d rate it a solid 8. I know that’s quite high but no it was really good. But honestly, nothing to complain about, we got on really well. And it was a lovely date, we had a ncie time.

Did she fulfil your hopes and dreams about the date?

Yeah it was a nice date. Lovely.

How did you end the night? Were there any romantic endeavours or...

Yeah we had a little kiss at the end. And that was it...

You did?! Ooh! That’s so exciting no one ever kisses on Blind Date!

Haha, yeah it was good...

Awesome. Very juicy. In that case would you recommend Blind Date to a friend?

Definitely, definitely. It’s a good experience.

Brilliant! Sounds like a success. Thanks, Tom!

That’s all the dates for this year, folks! If you fancy finding the one for you next year contact The Life-

Brooklyn on Tom

Hey Brooklyn!How was your night with Tom? Hiiii. It was... really nice actually. Surprisingly really nice.

If you could describe the date in three words what would they be?

Urm. First half of the date as... eeggghhhh :/ Second part, like, yeah! this is going quite nicely, third part like, woo! Surprising!

Haha. Were you nervous for the date?

No, I’d actually forgotten.. Until like an hour before and my friend was like, ‘why are you taking your big bag on your date? And I remembered and thought, should probably get rid of this bag!

Oh no! How did you forget?!

I was just in the library all day, then went to work then I forgot. But then I remembered and it was fine!

So had you dressed to impress?

I had, I wore a nice little flowery dress.

Where did you go in your little flowery dress?

To the Hop&Cleaver I think it’s called. The Pitcher and Piano and Alvino’s.

What was your first impression of Tom? When I met him at Monument he was talking to this random old man, and I thought the man was his dad and thought, ‘Why is his dad on the date?!”

What did you talk about?

We talked about politics which I know isn’t the best way to go but yeah.. he does politics so it was inevitable. So we found out we have very different political views so at first I was like, this is going to be a very awkward date, but then he was actually really nice and we talked about music, home lives.

Did you have much in common?

Uhm.. Noo.. But that didn’t really matter because he was chatty and nice.

If Tom was an item of clothing what would he be?

Definitely like a Pretty Green - like the brand Tshirt, cos he said he wants to work there.

And if he was a chocolate bar?

Hmm... Probably a Mars Bar cos he has many different layers, and some of the layers I liked, but some of them I didn’t... Lol. Wow. okey dokey. What would you rate the date out of 10? urm. I’d probably give him an 8. At the beginning of the date I was like, this is gonna be a 2, but he turned out to be really nice.

Ah so were you pleasantly surprised?

I was pleasantly surprised, yeah.

Do you think you’ll see him again for a second date?

Um. I don’t think so.

Ahh. Is that purely based on difference of political views?

No not purely on that, it’s more just... I mean, I don’t think he’d really want to see me again either.

So I think it was kind of mutual...? I think?

Ok. So not even friends?

I actually saw him this morning like walking to uni, and was like, hi, this is really odd... So yeah I have seen him again already!

Oh well fancy that! You can’t really call that a second date!

No, haha! Crossing the road opposite each other...

So how did you end the night? Did you... Did you kiss, or...?

Yes we did. (laughs). It was a bit of a shocker. I was a bi surprised but *drops pen* ah! But yeah, it was a nice kiss. Hope he enjoyed it as well.

Haha! Cute! Sounds like our job here is done, thanks Brooklyn!

14.lifestyle

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Ana Beretsos, Ruth Loeffler, Antonia Coleman-Harvey & Brooklyn Shakeshaft Ward

Horoscopes from Astrological Antonia Our resident mystic Antonia Coleman-Harvey guides you through your week Aries March 21- April 19

You should indulge in the romantic, dreamy feeling in your aura this week, Aries. It’ll certainly respark a light you thought was dimming,

Taurus April 20- May 20

Feel like you lost your stride last week, Taurus?

Fear not, with Mercury’s direct turn today you’ve got that bounce right back. You feel powerful, so don’t be afraid to show the world what you’re made of. Important people are watching so don your sexiest clothes and get on with it.

Gemini May 21- June 20

Your career match this week is Pisces but you aren’t feeling co-operative, Gemini,. And you will have to come out of your under water shell in order to interact with others. Deep breaths... You might even find you relate to someone’s strange quirks.

Cancer June 21- July 22

Go ahead and be the charming self you know you can be, even if you have to act. You won’t get your foot in the door by refusing to speak to the person you admire. Be cautious of anxiety in the air, you don’t want to overreact to a situation that normally wouldn’t phase you.

Leo July 23- Aug 22

Loving Leo. Your zest for life is certainly attractive.

To some. To others, you need to tone it down a bit. Confidence could very easily be perceived as arrogance, so be weary not to step on people’s toes this week.

Virgo Aug 23- Sep 22

The Easter break definitely recharged your batteries - you’re on your usual top form once again! Make sure not to get distracted by all the catching up your sociable self desires, work first.

Libra Sep 23- Oct 22

The week ahead is looking hopeful for you, Libra.

Whilst Mercury is in it’s retrograde you will be running around like a little busy bee but take care not to make any brash decisions. A step backwards will earn you much insight for the future.

Scorpio Oct 23- Nov 21

Loyal, rock solid, and sensual. All sorts of magical and mysterious people will work their way into your life this week, Scorpio. Make sure you show off your best qualities. Your astral configuration certainly will give you much to think about about that special someone.

Sagittarius Nov 22- Dec 21

You’ll feel at peace this week, Sagittarius, as stresses will melt away and you’’ll soon feel at one with the Universe. As a spiritual sign, take the time so connect with your surroundings. A nice stroll will do you some good. Your monetary planet is urging you to reward yourself, so splash the cash!

Capricorn Dec 22- Jan 19

Ruled by Venus, the planet of love, it’s no lie to say you’re a hopeless romantic, Capricorn. And today’s love match is Gemini... Although this is likely to change by tomorrow. Snooze you lose.

Expect surges of impatience this week, but keep your cool

Aquarius Jan 20- Feb 18

Begin a discipline now of healthy practices. A diet of low carbs and plenty of water along with physical activities might reveal to you the source of natural inner peace. You’re anxious to start looming projects, but you will do better with a strong, balanced mindset.

Pisces Feb 19- March 20

You’re like a fish out of water this week, Pisces.

Sucks to be you.

Vegetarian recipe of the Week

Hope Coke A.K.A Lifestyle’s queen of Veggie cooking is back to share her story of a steak

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ull disclosure; there’s no actual steak involved here. It’s just a chunky slice of cauliflower... but I swear it’s actually really good. The humble cauliflower is having a bit of a moment right now, and rightly so. It’s got a mellow taste that lends itself really well to punchier flavours like the spices in this recipe.

I’ve also added in chickpeas and peppers to keep with the slightly Middle Eastern vibe as well as a mint, cucumber and lime yoghurt to cool off the spiciness. You can bulk it up by serving with some rice or quinoa or use as filling for wraps.

Alternatively, pair with a green salad for something lighter.

Directions: Preheat the oven to 220 degrees c. Prep your cauliflower by cutting a small slice off the bottom to make a flat base, then cut the whole thing in half lengthways. Now cut a chunky slice about an inch and a half thick from the cut side of each half to make your two ‘steaks’, saving the rest of the cauliflower for another time. Cut up your peppers into chunks, about 3cm big, then place them at one end of a big baking tray and the cauliflower slices at the other. In a small bowl combine the oil with the spices and 1/2 tsp salt, then drizzle all over the peppers and cauliflower, turning them to ensure they’re well coated all over.

Place in the oven and roast for 15 - 20 minutes, until the cauliflower is just tender but still firm

with a good bite. Meanwhile, make the yoghurt sauce. Finely dice the mint and cucumber into tiny pieces, then stir into the yoghurt in a small bowl with the salt, grated lime zest and juice. Once the cauliflower and peppers are tender, remove the tray from the oven.

“You can bulk it up by serving with some rice or quinoa, or use as a filling for wraps”

Drain and rinse the chickpeas and add to the baking tray, mixing them in with the peppers. Put the grill on high and return the tray to the oven for a further 3-5 minutes, then turn the cauliflower steaks over and repeat on the other side so that both sides are nicely browned and charred in places. By this time the peppers should be soft and the chickpeas warmed through. When the veg is cooked, take a couple of handfuls of salad if using (little leaves like rocket and spinach work well) and scatter onto two plates. Spoon half of the peppers and chickpeas onto each plate, then lay the cauliflower steaks on top and finish with dollops of the yoghurt. Garnish with the coriander and/ or mint, if using, and serve.

Well, until next years recipes, hope you perfect these ones, it’s been my veggie pleasure!

Serves 2 Ingredients: 1 large cauliflower 1 red pepper 1 yellow pepper 2 tbsp olive oil 1 tsp cumin seeds or ground cumin 1 tsp garam masala 1/2 tsp chilli powder 1/2 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp salt 4 tbsp plain Greek yoghurt a chunk of cucumber, about 5cm long a handful fresh mint a good pinch salt - Optional, to serve: A small handful fresh mint and/ or coriander, brown rice/ quinoa or flatbreads/ wraps, green salad.

One last Ode to Newcastle

Yes, another emotional one. Now the end is near, Lifestyle Ed, Ruth Loeffler, reflects on the toon we have all come to love and adore - our very own Newcastle

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ewcastle, hasn’t it been an absolute honour. I feel privileged to have spent the last 3 years wandering aimlessly through your streets... when I’ve gotten completely drunk and disorientated and just can’t seem to locate Bigg Market Chippy. It’s been an education, and I’m not just talking about learning (in very very completely-useless-for-any-other-purposes detail ) about Ancient Greece, or the American intelligence agencies - although that last one was pretty cool.

general rule, the best clubs have the stickiest floor.

This is probably due to their abundence of trebles.

Thank you Newcastle for teaching me that in terms of trebls, blue stuff is always good. If not, cordial becomes your best friend to mask the taste of that dire paint stripper.

Sinners will always deliver, and so will Digital if you make it past the steep entry fees. You take your home friends to either of these places, they’ll be convinced you live the absolute party-animal life. Newcastle, I also thank you for reverting these home friends everywhere into the drunken sweaty messes that you grew up with.

“You taught me that people can be opinionated, however this doesn’t mean they know much more than you” Even though I have the horrors of my dissertation results, another essay and a final, three hour exam, I wanted to take this opportunity to say in print; Newcastle you’ve been an education. Of course, the degree needs a mention. Coming here in first year with no inclination of just how damn hard it would be to get on all those exciting modules you thought you wanted. Newcastle, you defnitely taught me that it could be the most interesting subject, but the lecturer really makes ALL the difference. This is why you SHOULD have turned up to all those lectures in first year so you could gauge which one you want. Newcastle you also taught me that this would also bite you in the ass a couple of years later when it came to dissertations. Picking the right supervisor is also VERY important.

Aside that this, Newcastle, you also taught me that people can be opinionated, however this doesn’t mean that they know much more than you.

When you cut through all those long words, no one knows about politics. What a joy that the last three years have taught you this.

Spotted on campus!

“Trainers are acceptable footwear for nights out. The best, in fact”

“Thank you for teaching me that as a general rule, the best clubs have the stickiest floors” Now onto the good stuff, where Newcastle is like the Oxbridge of educators. Thank you for teaching me that in Geordieland it doesn’t matter one bit if you’re a shite dancer. No one has that awful overthe-shoulder thing that sixth formers had nailed back in Essex. Thank you for teaching me that as a

Newcastle, you’ve taught me that trainers are acceptable footwear for nights out. The best, in fact. You’ve also taught me that chokers make everything look more fancy. Buy a fair few before everyone gets sick of looking like Lindsay Lohan.

Newcastle, you’ve taught me to pre hard. However, you’ve taught me that shots before the club ALWAYS ends badly, and ALWAYS hold onto the bannister down stairs. Sinners has caught me out quite enough times.

Newcastle, you’ve taught me that a dressing gown is the best present you will ever receive, closely followed by clean sheets and a roast dinner. Thanks for teaching me that every bad story is a bad anecdote. Nowhere is this more true than when it comes to sex. Newcastle, you’ve taught me to cook... or at least feed myself. I’ve learnt that boys’ food will always look better because they have huge portions and are predominantly beige. However, you will gain a stone if you eat like that. If I’m really honest, Newcastle you’ve taught me that I could live off tomato pasta for a month and still think it’s pretty damn good at the end.

Not quite a spotted, but here’s to all of the oncoming course balls in the next few weeks. Spotted around the streets of Jesmond, there will no doubt be a few sheepish looking girls with heels in hand, or smug looking suited lads with their bow tie undone. If you’re lucky, you’ll be thankful that your ball takes place AFTER you’ve finished all your seminars and lectures. If you’re smart you won’t completely embarrass yourself in front of your lecturers and/or sleep with that guy you’ve been sat next to (but never really spoken to) all bloody year. However, if you’re drunk we all know that you probably won’t care. Go forth and spill red wine down your dress, slur to your seminar leader how you TOTALLY GET HIS PERSPECTIVE ON SLAVERY IN THE 1800s and goddamit sleep with the cute guy and make it super awks next week.

The Courier

lifestyle .15

Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle

Beat those pre-grad desperation blues Hot weather, hot body

Lifestyle Ed Ana Beretsos shares some advice on making the most of your final uni days

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isten carefully 3rd years, it’s ‘Gold Rush’ time. Your time at uni where you are supposed to have the most fun and carefree years of your life is coming to the end. This is where the premise of Gold Rush comes from, the final few weeks where you sleep with those ‘what ifs’ and the ‘that can’t happen because it may be awkward’ people.

“This could be your first year lab partner, a housemate, someone who got away, or maybe someone new… all limits are removed!”

This could be your first year lab partner, a housemate, someone who got away, or maybe someone new… all limits are removed! You are most likely not going to see these people again! It is the better version of Freshers’ Week; more confidence and less shame. You won’t have any awkward encounters around campus- it is the ultimate no strings attached.

There will be no more she-banged-him-but-he-

was-banging-her gossip. There will be no judging as you get to start the new chapter of you life after this, you are given a clean slate so go dirty this one!

“Be it kisses, dates or more, people, are grasping the last few weeks of student life with both hands” I was sceptical when I first heard of this phenomenon; I thought ‘why would this have an impact on who people sleep with’. But I am watching this happen all around me! Be it kisses, dates or more, people are grasping the last few weeks of student life with both hands. We all know we can’t act like this once we become professionals so it is now or never. Not everyone is involved to the full extent but people do before louder and wilder.

Maybe people aren’t searching for it but inhibitions are low, there are little consequences and people are a lot happier at this time of year. So, why not ask the person you have checked out every lecture for the last three years where they are heading out and just see where the Gold Rush magic takes you.

Very creatively some universities have set up Facebook pages for people to find and entice the people they see around campus who they think are kind of cute.

This could be a side effect of the obscene amount of trebles people are planning to neck straight after their finals. Or is it that ‘release’ after living in the library for the last few months. You never know, perhaps you will find your soul mate. Don’t leave with the ‘what ifs’ in the back of your head!

“We all know we can’t act like this once we become professionals so it is now or never” Enjoy yourselves! It doesn’t have to be through joining in with the Gold Rush, just make new friends, celebrate what you have achieved over the three years and down them trebs.

Go out with a bang. ur of yo e end e lost and h t s d war itions ar ow peers eks to ib ll he we where inh ue your fe t h s s u y r t R i u s p d r Gol at unive ained to time dence is g confi

Forget personal trainers, Renee Mayor is here with all the advice you need this Summer

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ummer is only around the corner which is both relieving and incredibly stressful for a lot of students. Here are some tips to help you maintain your summer body during the most stressful time of the year:

Sleep Get enough sleep, inadequate sleep leads to higher levels of ghrelin, which is known as the “hunger hormone” because it increases appetite. Everyone has a different amount of sleep which they need, but on average its 7/8 hrs a day.

Breakfast Eat breakfast, take time out of your day to have a hearty breakfast. It makes you maintain a structure in your eating habits which is beneficial as it generally stops you from snacking.

Walk

All things breakfast and brunchiful Lets be honest, brunch is the best meal invented. Be it as a revision break or celebratory brunch, Sophie Henderson gives you the lowdown on her favourites around the Toon

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e’ve all attempted to go out for breakfast. By the time you roll out of bed and decide where to go, order your waffles and take a photo for Instagram, its midday. Here’s a newsflash: you’re actually out for brunch.

But don’t be disheartened- there’s nothing better.

That late-morning, early-afternoon is the perfectime for a bite to eat. Whether you’ve pulled an allnighter in the library, slept in too late or woken up hungover, brunch is the perfect student meal, and Newcastle is bursting with eateries to try.

Arlo’s

Here at West Jesmond’s best-loved bistro/cafe, an eclectic breakfast menu runs until 12pm everyday. The emphasis is on locally sourced, seasonal and home-cooked food. A traditional Cooked Breakfast is £9.00, whilst other highlights include Crushed Avocado on Toast (£7.95), Steak and Eggs (£9.95), Toasted Waffles (£6.00) and Homemade Granola (£4.70). Check out the takeaway bakery section too.

36-38 Brentwood Ave, NE2 3DH

Ernest

Tucked away in a corner of the Ouseburn, Ernest has its very own brunch menu, running everyday from 10am-3pm. This independent cafe/ bar serves up food, drink, music and art- however there are some real gems on the menu if you get there before the sun goes down, and a Vegan menu too.

The Ernest Breakfast is £8.50, and other popular bites include the Chorizo or Halloumi Hash Bowls (£8.50), Porridge (£4.90), Veggie sausage burger (£7.00) and Craster kippers (£8.50).

1 Boyd Street, NE2 1AP

Olive and Bean Between Greys Monument and Eldon Square, this locally and ethically sourced cafe is acclaimed

for its home-made menu. Brunch-wise, it boasts an English breakfast (drink included) for £9.45, alongside a Continental and Healthy alternative. Other options include Salmon and Poached/ Scrambled Egg (£6.95), Belgian Waffles (£6.45) and Eggs Benedict (£6.45).

17-19 Clayton Street, NE1 5PN

Long Play Cafe

Two baristas combined their love of coffee with their love of vinyl, opening a cafe/ record store hybrid on the Quayside- and the breakfast menu lasts throughout the day! With no curfew, brunch here is perfect for a late-riser, and The LPC Breakfast (English breakfast) is £6.00. Add extra to you breakfast for £8.00 or choose an alternative such as Pulled Pork with Beans, Scrambled Eggs and Sourdough Toast (£7.50), American Pancakes (£6.50), or Veggie Lumberjack Pancakes (£7.50).

48-52 Quayside, Sandhill, NE1 3JF

Blakes

Walk to Uni, don’t catch the metro! That is valuable exercise that helps you in the morning before you spend a whole day of sitting to revise, so don’t miss out. The morning walk will also wake you up, generally making your head will feel clearer, so you can be even more productive.

Water Drink water!

Try to stay a way from any other type of drink. Particularly fruit juices, a lot of people don’t realise how many calories they are drinking. Water is good for staying hydrated and alert, which will also benefit you during the exam season.

Be active Make sure you get up and walk at intervals- if you finish a section, go for a little break. A change of scenery always makes revision more bearable.

Plan ahead Prepare healthy snacks- it can be pretty temptig to just go to the café and buy a chocolate bar; this is how people let their eating structure slip. Be prepared, bring in some healthy alternatives: hummus and carrot sticks, peanut butter and celery, dried fruit, a handful of unsalted nuts, rice cake.

Exercise It is not only important to go exercise at least 3 times a week for your summer body but also for your mental health. Exercise is used by many to overcome stress and anxiety; the endorphins released during and after will make you feel a lot more relaxed and your mind will feel refreshed.

Opposite the Theatre Royal, Blakes has been a favourite on the local coffee house scene for a generation. The breakfast menu is served until 2pm, a Full English costing £6.75 (drink included).

Other brunch dishes include the Big Breakfast Stottie (£5.75), Posh Toast (£2.95), and Eggs Salsa (£7.75).

53 Grey St, NE1 6EE

“By the time you roll out of bed and decide where to go, order your waffles and take a photo for instagram...its midday”

Let’s be honest keeping all of this in mind is going to be unrealistic when you end up craving junk food because you are just so stressed out. Just bear in mind that everyone has bad days when it come to your eating and exercise habits and that tomorrow will be a new day and you can have a better attitude towards maintaining that summer body. The summer will shortly be upon us, and let’s work on being carefree for those glorious months. You need to keep on top of your lifestyle now before it runs away from you.

16. beauty

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Beauty Editors: Miranda Stoner, Ellie Trent & Ellen Walker

Sugar babe not sugar baby

Does altered image equal altered ego?

Scarlett Carroll tackles the hot topic of Instagram filters and their impact on society

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hen scrolling through the depths of Instagram, my screen is always filled with perfectly presented images. Everything about these people’s social media is considered: positioning, editing, even upload timing! Seemingly, everything about these accounts comes down to getting the highest amount of reactions.

They have become social media tycoons dealing in likes and shares.

Though some may consider acting in this way to be reserved for only the Instagram famous, I am sure at some point we have all fallen prey to this attitude. See, I am a serial upload-delete-r, especially if the photo is of me. If a post does not look quite right, or it does not get enough attention, it is gone.

If my instagram feed looks well put together, I feel well put together.

In preparation for exam season Beauty Editor Miranda Stoner advises us on how to avoid excess sugar consumption

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xam season is upon us, but with rising stress levels often comes an increase in our sugar intake. Whilst sugar is unavoidable and not entirely evil, it is undeniable that an excess of this tasty carbohydrate can lead to long term health problems such as insulin resistance which can lead to metabolic syndrome, diabetes, as well as linked issues such as obesity and an increase of bad bacteria in the mouth and therefore tooth damage. Moreover, in the short term it can cause huge crashes and increased calorie intake- difficulties you just don’t need on top of your deadlines and exam stresses. So here are a few ways to avoid it: First of all, education is key. Obviously, there’s no need to become a walking encyclopaedia of the exact number of grams of sugar in every snack in the meal deal- unless you’re considering making your fortune from a round of Mastermind. Yet having a vague idea of which options contain less sugar is useful. For example knowing that a 40g crunchie bar has 29g in comparison to 13.7g in a 35g Cashew Cookie nakd bar.

“The very idea that the images people uploaded had to be perfect, was so ingrained within us”

“Always remember to shop on a full stomach - this will reduce impulse buys” Undeniably a long revision session is only possible with the help of food, but to avoid making bad decisions in the heat of the moment plan beforehand. Having a pot of fresh fruit or a tasty sandwich at your disposal should deter your hourly trip to the vending machine or having a list when you walk around the supermarket should provide you with enough guidance to mean a huge selection of sweets doesn’t magically make its way through the checkout. Grainger Market at this time of year is perfect for cheap fruity snacks. Always remember to shop on a full stomach - this will reduce impulse buys.

Breakfast also plays an important role in how much sugar we consume. Studies show that if we start the day with something sweet we are more likely to consume more sugary snacks throughout the day. Muesli and Porridge are low sugar ways to start the day. Things to avoid are cereal bars which contain hidden sugars and granola or breakfast cereal that could be passed off as biscuits. If you are always in a rush then prepare a low sugar flapjack or breakfast muffin to grab and go.

“The calories in fizzy drinks come with no added nutrients, they are purely sugar” Another tip is to consider what you are drinking, whilst the triple shot caramel syrup frappachino with cream and sauce can be the only beacon of light in an otherwise crumbling world it won’t help you in the long term, as leave it an hour and your body will most likely crave more sugar. This also applies to fizzy drinks like Coca Cola which has 11g of sugar per 100g. The calories in fizzy drinks come with no added nutrients, they are purely sugar. This means they do not promote a feeling of satiety and can therefore lead to hunger and an increase in the number of calories you consume. Beware also of healthy looking juices and smoothieswhilst smoothies retain some of the fibre, juices are often mostly sugar and therefore not as good for you as they look. Good options are normal water or coconut water, which will keep you hydrated without the cons. If you like a sweeter taste then try infusing your water with pieces of fruit or cucumber, this will add flavour. They can be found for as little as £5 in Primark!

Instagram: @ kendalljenner

So what about uploading an unfiltered image?

A few years ago there was a challenge set out to people to upload a photo of themselves onto the internet with no-makeup. But why should this have been a challenge - why was it considered so important for women to upload images of themselves without and makeup? The very idea that the images people uploaded had to be perfect, was so ingrained within us. As a result, many refused to upload no-makeup selfies. For some that did, it was very clear that the photos they had uploaded were filtered. Women were clearly concerned that if they did not look as flawless and filtered as they usually did there would be some drastic change in the way they were viewed by their friends.

A lot of this pressure certainly comes from the media, predominantly from advertising campaigns. Though sometimes the editing can have accidental humor - remember Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid’s missing knees on the cover of W

Magazine? But more often than not this editing is just creating an unrealistic image of how people, not just women, should look.Because we are so used to seeing these unrealistic image, when a natural photo of a celebrity is released some people are shocked. When untouched images of Kim Kardashian were released showing to the world that her body was not as perfectly smooth as we had been lead to believe. After this, she lost thousands of followers who were angry that she had been uploading edited photos. They felt that they had been lied to and deceived.

Fortunately, it has been popular recently for advertising companies to have unretouched photos within their campaigns - promoting real people and realistic views of what products can do. This year, Target, which is one of America’s largest stores, is beginning an advertising campaign which will be unretouched. Not only will the models be unedited, they will be of all shapes, sizes and ages - being more representative of America’s population. This is not only excellent for the consumer, but it also goes well for the companies. People who see advertising campaigns showing real bodies are more likely to shop with those companies - after seeing this trend with Aerie’s underwear campaign in 2015 which lead to a 20% increase in sales, hopefully more companies will follow their lead.

“We should accept our uneven skin, stretch marks, scares and all, even if big companies do not”

It is vitally important that we show our children what bodies really look like. The edited images give us unrealistic interpretation of what we should look like, when really we should be promoting body positivity. Ultimately, we must be kind to our natural selves. We should accept our uneven skin, stretch marks, scars and all, even if big companies do not.

A little less disorganisation For those who’ve had too many cases of lipstick on the lecture notes Scarlett RushbySmith shares her top tips on keeping beauty products as immaculate as your pretty face

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ash lovers, Kylie Jenner lip kit owners, even those that rely solely on a trusty chapstick, will all face the same issues when it comes to storage With modern makeup technology promising longer lashes, endlessly improving formulas and photo-finish effects, it is easy to get lost in the world of make-up; so, these trends will help to ensure that your makeup won’t get lost. The storage of your precious makeup can not only keep it safe, but also help to preserve your existing makeup, and help you get more for your money in the long run. We know all too well how far we’d sharpen down an eyebrow pencil, or scrape out our foundation to try and save a few pounds. Similarly, I’ve spent more hours looking for my favourite lipstick in my bag than I’ve spent in the library this term. Ok, maybe not, but it feels like it at the time. These tips and tricks should help to transform even the most un-organised soul into a makeup guru, save a few pounds, and minutes getting ready in the morning.

#1 Avoid direct sunlight By all means, go out, enjoy the rare glimpse of sunshine that Newcastle offers, but don’t take your makeup with you! Mascara should be stored away from heat and direct sunlight, as it will dry out and make your mascara clumpy. Avoid this and you will find that your mascara can last up to 3x longer.

The same goes for lipsticks and balms, as they will melt down in the heat. This also applies to your dressing table- make sure if there’s a big window in your room that your beauty products aren’t in direct line of the heat.

#2 Avoid the bottom of your bag Keeping lipsticks in the bottom of your bag is not only making a challenge for yourself every time you have to find it, but dust, crumbs and various other things we’d really not mention can be lurking in there can get into the seals of your makeup, filling them with bacteria and other nasty stuff ! Use a side pocket instead to avoid this, or alternatively leave them at home- will you really need to re-apply your contour during the day. Invest in a setting spray if your prodcuts aren’t lasting or prime properly.

#5 Bag it up Simple solution- buy a cute makeup bag, it keeps everything together, and plus it’s an excuse to buy a really sweet bag, because, really, any excuse to buy bags is a good excuse. Primark do a huge selection for around £5 each.

Follow these tips, for a more stress-free, mysterycrumb free makeup experience. These tips will help your makeup last- at least until the next student loan!

#3 Buy a ‘cosmetic organiser’ May sound daunting, but is the clearest way of organising makeup. Individual sections for makeup, so you can stand your lipsticks up side by side!

Looks neat and pretty too! Cheap, clear ones available £3, Primark. It also means you won’t forget what you have and buy another lipstick in the same colour.

#4 Keep it cool One of the less well known beauty secrets is to keep certain makeup products in the fridge. Nail varnish, face cream and perfume can all be kept in the fridge to keep them fresher for longer! Place alongside a half-eaten tin of beans for extra student points.

Instagram: @essence_cosmetics

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beauty .17

Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty Instagram @courier_beauty | Twitter @CourierBeauty

Stress combating skin care Playing with pastels

Tilly Parry is here with her go-to products to banish the breakout blues during exams

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xam season is not kind on your skin - we all know this. Poor sleep plus stress plus sugary revision rewards plus Robbo air conditioning can cause breakouts, dry patches, and generally dull skin. As if you needed another thing to worry over right now! In these months of mind maps and mental breakdowns, skin care can be a great way to wind down after a long, stressful day, and pamper yourself. So here are my go-to products for all kinds of skin types, and some tips to make sure you get the best out of them.

Firstly, we need to talk about face masks. Once confined to sleepovers and super luxurious spa days, sheet masks, peel masks and mud masks are now a dime aplenty in drug stores, and can be a wonderful way to calm down and give your skin that little boost it needs. Body Shop have recently been promoting their new range of face masks, even proving free samples in a lot of stores and online. I personally have a love-hate relationship with Body Shop: I love their ethics and their smells, but their beauty range hates my skin. However, I’ve found the Rose Plumping mask wonderful for my horrendously dry skin, and I’ve heard good things about the other variants: my recommendation would be to quickly take advantage of the sampling offer and get yourself down to the Eldon Square store.

“I love their ethics and their smells but their beauty range hates my skin”

If those don’t work for you, however, another great range is the Boots own sheet masks. Varying from rooibos to flower infused, these use unique ingredients for an invigorating result. The L’Oreal mud face masks are also an affordable way to satisfyingly cleanse your skin without irritating sensitive faces and causing more problems than you began with.

Face masks should generally be used at the end

of the day - ideally just before sleep, so your skin has plenty of uninterrupted time to take in all the nutrients and moisture. If you’re looking for a more constant regiment, however (you shouldn’t be using masks more than two or three times a week) investing in washes, scrubs and moisturisers is a great place to start.

Susanne Norris gives her thoughts on whether using pastel shades as highlighters is acceptable this Spring

Website: www.boots.com

“My personal recommendation for all skin types would be the Garnier range”

The Superdrug Vitamin E range, I find, doesn’t get enough credit. Often forgotten when compared to the Boots Botanical range (which has its own merits, certainly), I find its ingredients soothing for the skin. I have very sensitive areas, so I’m always hesitant of scrubs and harsh washes, but the Facial Scrub uses oats and creamy consistency for gentle exfoliation. For oilier or spot-prone skin, however, a good place to look would be the Clean & Clear range of washes and gels, which vary depending on what you’re looking to achieve. If you’re using facial washes and scrubs, make sure to use a good toner or a splash of cold water to seal pores and prevent your newly cleansed skin from collecting more dirt. The Simple toner is a gentle product perfect for general use.

Now, for my favourite type of skin care: moisturisers. I’ve tested almost every one you can find in your average drug store, and I certainly have my favourites. My personal recommendation for all skin types would be the Garnier range. They are affordable and effective. The Moisture Bomb’s water-based recipe makes it ideal for oil-prone skin, while its newly updated day moisturisers, ranging from rose to honey to aloe vera depending on your needs, are great for dry to combination types.

The best way to look after your skin this season, however, is your day-to-day habits. Sleep well, eat well, and stop fidgeting and touching your face!

W

hen it comes to bold, vibrant or just crazy hair and make-up trends, I can shamelessly say I’ve always been a fan.

For me, Digi Monday just doesn’t feel right if my face isn’t covered in coloured glitter, and the pastel hair trend was one of my fave things to ever happen in the universe. Seriously, I went from lilac, to pink, to peach, to baby blue in less than a month (RIP my hair). So naturally, when highlighting with pastels started to be a thing, I was a huge fan from the outset.

I got the Anastasia Beverly Hills Moonchild glow kit last summer and I can safely say I have no regrets. This palette is all pastel highlights. It includes a lilac, baby blue, baby pink, mint green, silver and shimmery white. I’ve been in love with it from the get-go. To be fair, this could be because I have no issue opting for purple highlight instead of something more traditional like a gold/nude, but I think pastel highlights can be great even if you find bold colours daunting.

Website: www.thebodyshop.com

Instagram: @simpleskin

Most beautiful you’ve ever MET Sian Dickie brings us the best of the beauty looks from this years MET Gala by Vogue

V

ogue’s annual MET Gala is always famous for outrageous beauty and fashion moments and with this years theme being avant garde inspired by the brand Comme des Garçons, some celebrities lived up to the tricky brief and others were incredibly unimpressive.

Here is some of the hits and misses of that night.

Rhianna nailed this years brief. Looking incredibly beautiful with a butterfly inspired look, the ‘Umbrella’ singer took an otherwise simple hair and beauty look and upgraded it with an incredibly saturated fuchsia eyeshadow and blusher.

Extending the eyeshadow onto the cheeks and applying a subtle highlight to the inner corners and cheekbones, gave the star a fairy-like appearance by matching the colour palette of her outrageous three dimensional dress.

the highlighter to make the cheekbones pop to give a youthful glow. A great lipstick to complete this look would be MAC cosmetics ‘Flamingo’ lipstick, although on the pricer side at £16.50, the pigmentation on this shade is insane! Definitely worth the expense for the look.

The worst beauty look of the night in my opinion was Katy Perry. Behind all the ridiculous red tulle that was over her face lead to a questionable beauty look. The California Girl singer choose a blue glitter eye and red glitter lip combo. This made me think of the ‘less is more’ mantra. Paired with her brassy blonde pixie cut Katy definitely went for the wrong side of avant garde.

“The most used beauty colours used this year were bold pinks and oranges”

“The best looks this year were the most simple”

Pairing the pink complexion with a magenta lip and keeping the brows clean, gave a classy look especially in combination with her simple top knot, this look can definitely be achieved at home. To get this look on a budget, apply NYX cosmetics eyeshadow in ‘Wild Orchid’, all over the eye up towards the brow bone. Then using a fan brush, blend upwards to the temple and down towards the apples of the cheeks. Layer on top with Natural Collection’s highlighter stick, which is a steal at £1.99, to complete the look.

Another fan of a more simplistic look was Disney queen Zendaya Coleman. The star, who rocked more earthy tones compared to her celebrity pals, kept a more fresh faced complexion like usual but remained bold in her choice of a coral shade of lipstick. A more orange toned blush and bronzer combo worked in harmony with her outfit and lip colour, choosing to keep the eyes minimal by only using mascara, let the hair speak for itself. Swap-

ping her typical sleek locks for her natural hair, was a beautiful statement on the red carpet. To achieve Zendaya’s look apply Loreal’s blush paint in Tangerine to the apples and hollows of the cheeks where you’d typically contour, again using

To achieve a more toned down version of Perry’s look use NYX cosmetics eyeshadow in’ ‘Electroshock’ layered with Barry M’s dazzle dust in ‘iridescent’. To complete the blue eyeshadow pair with a nude lipstick to keep it looking more modern and less 80s. A good choice would be Maybelline’s blush nudes lipstick in ‘Pink Fling.’ A sheer moisturising lipstick, priced at £6.99 is a bargain to repair Katy’s makeup mess.

Overall the best beauty looks this year were the most simple. Especially with the outrageous and ridiculous outfit choices, toned down and fresh looks were the order of this years MET Gala. Even Kim Kardashian adhered to this look, keeping it fresh by promoting her collaboration with Kylie Jenner’s cosmetic line which is all nude liquid lipsticks designed with Kim in mind. The most used beauty colours this year were bold pinks and oranges. These colours could perhaps be some inspiration for makeup looks this summer.

“The silver looks lush if you accessorize with silver jewellery on a night out, and the rest are great for special occasions” For example, the white in this kit gives the most beautiful shimmery look, or can be used underneath your normal highlight to give it that extra pop. Equally, the pastel pink can definitely be used every day, with the right amount of blending it looks like any other pink highlight or just looks like a pearly blusher. As for the blue, purple, green and silver, they definitely come in handy too. The silver looks lush if you accessorize with silver jewellery on a night out, and the rest are great for special occasions.

So, maybe highlighting with pastels is a night out look rather than a daytime look, but I still think investing in them is very worth while. You can team it with glitter and braids for the ultimate quirky night out look (hello Cosmic) or tone it down just to add that extra special pearly shimmer. Unfortunately, while pastel have won my heart I can’t say I’m as impressed with highlighting with bright colours.

As an Anastasia Beverly Hills fanatic (surely you didn’t see that one coming) I was super excited when they announced the Aurora glow kit. However, this excitement very quickly turned to disappointment. The formula is meant to be very heavy, but with that aside the colours don’t do anything for anyone. The blue lacks the subtlety of it’s pastel counterpart, the yellow lacks and nice gold undertones and don’t even get me started on the orange.

I don’t know who could pull that off, it would only look like a tan job gone wrong. Yikes.

If you’re looking for high street alternatives to these products, check out NYX as they’re always producing great imitations of everyone’s favourite products, They specialise in cool colours too, so you could definitely find a purple glitter eyeliner to match a purple highlight look. Wherever you get your glow, my only advice is think pastel, not brights!

18. fashion

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Liz Rosling, Izzi Watkins & Zofia Zwieglinska

The Modern Met Gala

Founder of Nasty Gal: Sophia Amoruso Feminist fashion inspo or just fictionalised Netflix rubbish? Sophie Schneider finds out

Chloe Bland shows that we should focus on the fashion at the Met Gala

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Instagram: @metgalaofficial

he Met Gala is an event fashionistas regard as the night of the year, but is it a true showcase of fashion or more a case of showing-off ?

For those that don’t know (because let’s be honest, this is an A-list event) the Met Gala is basically the fashion equivalent of the Oscars, attended by models, designers and many Hollywood stars.

Since it’s beginning in 1946, the event occurs every first Monday in May as a fundraising gala, hosted at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. This year’s Gala celebrated the opening of the Costume Institute’s exhibition with Japanese designer Rei Kawakubo, entitled “Rei Kawakubo - Comme des Garçons: Art of the In-Between”. Andrew Bolton, curator-incharge at the Costume Institute said, “Rei Kawakubo is one of the most important and influential designers of the past 40 years”. Katy Perry acted as the co-host, while the red carpet catwalk was filled with celebrities like Celine Dion, Natasha Poly, Frank Ocean and Kate Hudson.

“Tickets alone for the event add up to a shocking £30,000, and the event itself is massively publicised (for reasons other than the fashion)”

Instagram: @stunning_riley.keough

Many would view this black-tie event as an overindulgent evening meant purely for the entertainment of the A-list celebrities attending. Tickets alone for the event add up to a shocking £30,000, and the event itself is massively publicised (for reasons other than the fashion). Before the event, celebrities are pampered and preened by the best of hairdressers and make-up artists. Arguably this gives a wrong and unrealistic idealised image for other women. After the Gala, celebrities’ outfits are scrutinised online and in international magazines. They are compared and demonised. It is an important event of the year, but with the invite list being so exclusive, the Met Gala could be making high fashion something only enjoyed by the elite and famous.

This leads to question how far fashion must rely upon its audience and their reaction. The idea of the Met Gala is to showcase designers as part of the exhibition. I think that the focus of the event is the fashion and whilst the notion of body image is extremely important, it should be overlooked here. This year’s Gala in particular has been credited for the wide variety of body types and lack of body shaming. Year upon year people look to this event as a showcase of art and fashion, and whilst celebrities are those at the Gala, the event and the following exhibition are something that can be shared with fashion-lovers all over the world. Celebrities are simply there to promote the event and exhibition. Many designers, collections and trends are showcased on the red carpet. It must also be remembered that this event is a fundraising event, which year upon year raises money for the Costume Institute. The sheer fact that this event has become fashion tradition makes it something I believe should be honoured. I for one will continue to watch and wait patiently (in hope!) for my invite.

instagram: @poolgarcia

instagram: @mim. reads

I

can’t speak on behalf of anyAmoruso stepped down as CEO one else, but this past week I in November following multiple have been watching Girl Boss lawsuits which led to her evenobsessively despite the looming tual bankruptcy. Netflix neatly deadlines and against the advice ended the story after Amoruso of everyone everywhere (some of opened her own fashion website, the reviews of the show are beas she’d been banned by eBay yond savage). (master-minded by a creepy DoNevertheless, Girl Boss is Umbridge lookalike, “The costume design in the show is stunning: from red tight lores the epitome of what I want in complete with pink old lady a Netflix chick flick show: wit, attire). This neat conclusion flares to navy blue velvet waistcoats, everything the a slightly implausible plot line, allows the viewer to snugprotagonist and her best pal Annie wear is subject to severe gle back into watching shitty sarcastic yet wonderful romance, and incredible vintage Netflix-own productions, reoutfit jealousy” clothes. To top it off, and what laxing in the bliss that there’s really ensured that I stayed in another feminist ‘girl boss’ Th e show depicts Amoruso’s vintage clothing as my room for days upon days, is the fact that it inspiration who emerged from nothing, bathing is a real story. We can’t deny that we all love the distinct and different. This includes a metallic in success somewhere fabulous. Alas, here I am leather East West Musical Instrument Company claim of legitimacy when we watch films: those shitting on your bliss: statements from previspine-tingling words ‘based on a true story’ are jacket, found by vintage dealer Brian Cohen, ous employees contradict the feminist rhetoric which the fi ctionalised Sophia sells for 50x the the only reason the ‘Blair Witch Project’ conthat the entrepreneur appears to preach. They tinues to scare the shit out of me. Girl Boss is price she pays for it. The costume design in the describe a toxic work environment with vicious show is stunning: from red tight fl ares to navy the story of Sophia Amoruso, the founder of the management and layoffs left right and centre multi-million enterprise Nasty Gal, although the blue velvet waistcoats, everything both the pro- (including multiple pregnant employees) – not tagonist and her best pal Annie wear is subject to show does itself warn the viewer that it’s based severe outfit jealousy. Costume designer Audrey quite as empowering as we thought. ‘real loosely’ on Amoruso’s tale.

Ultimately, whether you approve of Amoruso’s It’s a fantastically snarky commentary of her Fisher who also dresses the cast of True Blood work ethic and flippant money spending or not, was inspired by Amoruso’s own wardrobe; many journey to success from ‘nothing’ - I use inthe show is a dream for all fashionistas: you verted commas here as her ‘nothing’ includes of the items are variations on the entrepreneur’s could watch it on mute just drooling at the vina middle-class father willing to co-sign a lease 70’s vibe outfits.

Nasty Gal itself does not quite live up to the tage clothes Fisher picked out. It’s also incredibly on an office building, a room in a huge house in vintage expectations, as the site looks commer- funny; think Samantha from Sex in the City but Sacramento, and a wardrobe of clothes I would cialised and like every other high street store. more outrageous and rude. You just must switch physically sell my right kidney for. Despite the the program off quickly after the ‘uplifting’ typislightly dodgy by-line of from ‘rags to riches’ It’s almost as if a high-street brand owned it - oh cal Hollywood ending, and blank out the less wait… that the Netflix show adopted, it is a pretty inYes, the fairy-tale Cinderella-esque story ends fluffy, real-life conclusion for Sophia Amoruso spirational eBay success story, as Amoruso owns there, as Boohoo now owns the brand after and her website. one of the most popular online sites worldwide.

Is Kim Kardashian really a fashion icon?

Zofia Zwieglinska questions if the Internet icon is as body positive as she really claims

K

im Kardashian has always been a celebrity that has garnered widespread criticism across fashion and celebrity media.

Her family’s TV program and her constant presence in the media make her a personality unlikely to be ignored. The Kardashian Klan has brought their own style lines and make-up collaborations with the best brands, showcasing their influence.

While high fashion does criticize them for their lack of appreciation for craft, focusing instead on ‘Instagrammability’, the fact of the matter is that the Kardashians are immensely popular, and their total revenue is completely outrageous.

It is not possible to see them as reality TV stars anymore, and Kim’s high profile wedding to Kanye West elevated her into the most fashionable crowds.

Although not universally popular, Kim has been praised in the past for diversifying body image on the fashion scene. Her (controversial) naked cover for Paper Magazine quickly became an object of fascination and the subject of memes and parodies on the Internet. The appeal of the Kim K body has created body trends for the exaggerated hourglass

All photos, Instagram: @kimkardashian

shape equal to what the ‘J-Lo Bum’ was in the 2000’s. Kim makes a lot of money by posting photos of her body on social media while promoting fashion brands, beauty products and other items.

This is definitely questionable; especially given the influence social media has over body image. While her pictures are mostly airbrushed, many still aspire to have her body, and see the skin-tight fashion outfits and revealing pictures as inspiration for workouts, diets and crazy waist corsets.

“While her pictures are mostly airbrushed, many still aspire to have her body, and see the skin-tight fashion outfits and revealing pictures as inspiration for workouts, diets and crazy waist corsets”

Her latest gaffe/reveal showed Kim without the typical airbrushing, and the picture led to a furore

on the Internet. The offending shot made fans angry, losing her 100,000 followers with accusations of using Photoshop for years to hide her real body from the fans. Unabashed, Kim K doesn’t seem to have much of a reaction to the paparazzi shots, but she has posted that she is ‘empowered’ by her body.

While I love people who feel comfortable in their own skin, I don’t respect women who use their Photoshopped and altered body to endorse brands but are then surprised when the idealized image they have created over time is shown as false.

While Instagram and general social media encourages the most aesthetically beautiful images (both in beauty campaigns, in fashion and others), it is not right to lie to people by refusing to show real people with real bodies. Kim K cannot be faulted for creating a highly successful personal brand and some amazing collections, but her tendency towards surgery does make you doubt her as a physical role model. If your body has been altered, it shouldn’t form the example that is then promoted to millions of women who want to (ultimately) also look perfect.

The Courier

fashion .19

Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion

It’s the 90s baby! Summer Shoot Behind the Scenes Special Age: 19 Course: Business and French Prior Modelling Experience: “Just a few catwalks and portfolio photography / modelling” Describe Your Style: “Simple with an edge, my favourite shops are Zara and Hollister” 90s Memory: “That ‘90s show” Highlight of The Shoot: “Being able to have natural photographs captured with everyone, also the great 90’s music that was playing throughout the studio!”

Age: 22 Course: Maths and Finance Prior Modelling Experience: “Fashion shoots for The Courier and modelling in the RAG shows” Describe Your Style: “Skater boy/ SoCal kinda vibe but I also love dressing smart. I have actually stolen quite a few of my dad’s old clothes from the 90s.”

90s Memory: “My favourite thing as a 90’s kid was the channels like Cartoon Network, that crap TV that is just amazing as a kid.”

Highlight of the Shoot: “I really enjoyed the blue jeans, white shirt, denim jacket combo I got to wear. It made me feel like a modern day James Dean!”

Age: 21 Course: Zoology Prior Modelling Experience: “None” Describe Your Style: “My favourite place to shop would have to be eBay, you can find all sorts of weird and wonderful things. It’s maybe that weirdness that defines my style” 90s Memory: “Probably The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and those naughty shirts I aspire to pull off as well as Will Smith does” Highlight of The Shoot: “Successfully spinning a ball on my finger without breaking anything”

Age: 21 Course: English Literature Prior Modelling Experience: “I used to be signed to an agency in London but stopped during A Levels! Since being at uni I’ve got back into it, taking part in catwalks and magazine shoots” Describe Your Style: “I would say very relaxed, although I do like getting dressed up for a night out! I always go for quality over quantity” 90s Memory: “It would haves to be all of the Disney films which were released!”

Highlight of the Shoot: “Definitely seeing all the clothes we were going to be wearing: I wanted to take them all home!”

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Topshop

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e look: beauty

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“The 90’s was all about looking fresh faced so I opted for a neutral brown eye using Kat Von D ‘shade and light’ palette. To achieve dewy, glowing skin I used l’Oreal True Match foundation, Bourjois Paris Bronzing Powder and Mary-Loumanizer by The Balm to channel youthful, radiant vibes (Think Rachel from friends). The look was finished with a classic 90’s vampy lip using NYX liquid lip crème in ‘Transylvania’” - Beauty Ed Ellen Walker

TOPMAN

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Ge

For our final shoot of the year we decided to stick with one of this season’s hottest trends- the 90’s in all it’s nostalgic glory! For the first time we decided to rent out a professional studio so we could show the clothes and models off to their very best, and we think we succeeded. The day was pretty hectic but with the best of some 90’s tunes blasting through the studio (check out our playlist below!) it was impossible not to have fun. We would like to say a massive thank you to Topshop Eldon Square for their continued support (and gorgeous clothes) as well as Retro Vintage for their help in ensuring the shoot had some authentic vintage vibes. We would finally like to thank all our fashion writers from the past year; the fashion section would be nothing without you and we are eternally grateful for all your wonderful words and hard work!

Izzi, Liz & Zofia xxx

Shop the looks

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20.fashion

Monday 15 May 2017

Fashion Editors: Liz Rosling, Izzi Watkins & Zofia Zwieglinska

It’s the 90s baby

The Courier

The Courier

fashion .21

Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion

“Let’s party like it’s 1990!”

Clothes supplied by Topshop Eldon Square and Retro Clothing.

Photography by Kevin Wong and Leslie Deng. Makeup by Ellen Walker. Styling by Izzi Watkins, Liz Rosling and Zofia Zwieglinska.

Modelling by Yannick Thompson, Charles Cotton, Rose Hinds and Ellie Trent

22. arts

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Arts Editors: Tamsin Daisy Rees and Jonathan Hastings Online Editor: Meg Holtom

A Love Letter to Live Performance Chris Wilkinson and Lauren Sneath discuss why we need to engage with live acts

SALTY COLUMN Sculptor named as Election Artists

by Elena Trayanova

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he lights flash on. The music swells. Art, in its purest and most accessible human form, appears on stage.

There is simply no comparison to a live show, be it a play, musical, concert, comedy act or any other version. The best part of live entertainment is that it creates a tangible emotional link between audience and performer; an intimacy one is unable to recreate in a pre-recorded film. The audience can feel a current of electric emotion, like a live wire vibrating in the air around them, as the performers are mere feet and inches away: this corporeal connection

R

Election Artist Cornelia Parker

ecently, it was announced who has been elected to be the 2017 ‘election artists that would get the absolutely thrilling opportunity to attend the campaigns and observe them.

Their task, then, is to create a piece of art reflecting on the entire election process while remaining entirely neutral about the political parties involved.

The official definition of a so-called ‘election artist’ is a person selected by the British House of Commons to document the election process.

You would think that there are a lot of journalists, artists and ordinary citizens passionate about politics that would happily do it for free but apparently, the country has a spare 17 000 pounds to give out to someone to officially turn the national cacophony into art and potentially ruin whatever reputation they have built for themselves.

“Art being a lens through which individuals interpret the world intrinsically calls for subjectivity as a dominant factor where as here it is simply not allowed” This year’s officially chosen “I-have-nothing-better-to-do-plus-they’re-giving-me-money” is Cornelia Parker. The reasons why a renowned sculptor who was elected to The Royal Academy of Arts and appointed Officer of The Order of the British Empire has decided to accept this position remain a mystery. Or at least to me, her explanation that she has agreed to do it because she is being “passionate about politics” would not be a sufficient enough reason to want to become an election artist but rather the opposite.

It would mean you must have a strong opinion on the matter, and being the election artist requires being completely neutral in your creation of art illustrating the election process. This seems not only absolutely redundant but also quite odd. The entire process of selecting the election artist also questions the value of art and the definition of artist.

Art being a lens through which individuals interpret the world intrinsically calls for subjectivity as a dominant factor whereas here it is simply not allowed.

“The audience can feel a current of electric emotion, like a live wire vibrating in the air around them, as the performers are mere feet and inches away”

If we take as an example a comedy act, one can see clearly the spontaneity and intimacy created by a live performance versus a DVD or download.

A joke that got a laugh on Friday may not be as

successful on Tuesday. The performer notes this and makes the necessary changes to his or her rapport with the audience, as with a live gig or music concert. Artists tend to have fun with this lack of structure; they add riffs or solos, sometimes even including audience participation. It is this sort of spontaneity, which cannot be replicated in postproduction, or edited in. During the performance, the artist can use the reactions of the audience to mold the show; for no two live performances will ever be the same.

Further to this, a live performance is a special and memorable experience. There really is nothing quite like the experience of buying a ticket months in advance, counting down the days, queuing for hours and eventually finding a seat or a spot to stand and watch your favourite artist or band, see a comedian you love or watch a play you’ve been dying to see. You patiently wait through tribute acts (some of whom are actually alright), or for the curtain to rise. When the artist/s arrives on stage, the crowd goes wild, the atmosphere thick with excitement and anticipation.

You may not remember the first time you listened to a song, or saw a film on the television. These experiences, normal as they are nowadays, do not always stick in our memory. A live performance,

an event that takes preparation and excitement, is much more likely to be remembered in years to come. It can only take a certain song, the smell of theatrical smoke, or a particular flash of strobe lighting for an entire experience to come flooding back.

“A live performance, an event that takes preparation and excitement, is much more likely to be remembered in years to come” With the advancement of technology and its ever-expanding use in performance, some wonder at the lifespan of live events with live audiences. Why pay more to watch a person sing, when you can listen to it for free and on repeat on your phone?

Why queue for hours to buy tickets for a play, and then shell out more for programs and memorabilia, when that very production is on Amazon Prime for £4.99? Anyone who says this needs to experience the thrill of live performance for themselves; I’m sure that would change their tune.

Does music really mean anything anymore?

Helena Buchanan and Sam Blackburn discuss the future identity of current genres

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here are some albums which you would nail to your bedroom wall. Not only so people can appreciate your aesthetic but to ensure that it can never be played.

There are others which you listen to over and over but only ever off the computer because the cover is so sickening.

The best example of this, I think, is Chance the Rapper. For real. Who the fuck is designing them?

They are the Wordsworth Classics of the album cover world. Both ‘Acid Rap’ and ‘Colouring Book’ consist of weird depictions of him floating on an ethereal, pinkish background. The background is

A

re lyrics and album covers more important than the music itself? Short answer, no. Long answer, absolutely not.

This is not to say that lyrics and album art work aren’t important, it’s just the fact of the matter is a catchy melody is more important than pretentious and over the top lyrics. Sure, I like the lyrics of some songs and feel that they can create an emotional connection at times, but the music itself is what is going to make me listen. For example, I get joy from a lot of Punk Rock due to its hilariously offensive lyrics. From Anti-Flag’s song telling the Pope where to go to Last Caress by Misfits, there’s definitely something about lyrics what is artistical-

pretty cool, the faces are not. Much as I love these albums I’m not sure I could ever buy them as they make me so very uncomfortable.

“Obviously, the sound is the most important, but we are living in an age of vanity in which aesthetic trumps actual art a lot of the time”

Yes, I am weirdly affected by the visual, but I

ly brilliant. On the other hand though, I don’t listen to Angel of Death by Slayer because of the lyrics, I listen to it because it’s a satanically brilliant song with an evil riff. The song’s lyrics could be about bed sheets and I’d still love it.

“Are lyrics and album covers more important than the music itself? Short answer, no.

Long answer, absolutely not”

Album covers to me are just a way to attract the consumer. For example, a few months back I was

think it’s very important, particularly in the new age of vinyl where the album is so large and one can’t flick through spines to find names but is forced to look at the cover. How many people have listened to ‘Rumours’ or ‘Parallel Lines’ or ‘Currents’ who wouldn’t have otherwise because of the iconic covers?

Obviously, the sound is the most important, but we are living in an age of vanity in which aesthetic trumps actual art a helluva lot of the time. Get yo shit together Chance; the music, sadly, won’t sell itself.

Helena Buchanan

looking at the charts in HMV. Lost in a sea of bland derivative indie crap on offer, I was taken back by the utterly brilliant album cover of Gods of Violence by Kreator, to the point where it made me listen to the whole album on Spotify. What I’m trying to say is lyrics and album covers have their place in art, but the true art of the music comes from the instruments, I mean doesn’t the popularity of the likes of Little Mix not pretty much suggest this? The only album cover I can honestly say is a museum worthy work of art is Riches to Rags by Rich Kids on LSD. Sam Blackburn

The Courier

arts .23

Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | Instagram: @CourierArts

Is this the end of culture as we know it?

Carys Rose Thomas gives a hopeful rendition on culture and how we can stop its decline

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ecently, the National Portrait Gallery procured a 4ft tall portrait of Ed Sheeran by Colin Davidson, known for painting other fairly well known British personalities such as the Queen.

The painting has lead to some asking if having such a highly held painter paint the ginger pop star is somehow a sign of “the death of culture”.

The public has far more access to cultural outlets like art and music now than ever before. No longer do we go out dressed to the nines to watch a film in the cinema. Nowadays, you’re more likely to just pop on Netflix’s latest release at 4am in nothing but your pants. Not only do we all have easy access to these cultural outlets, but anyone with a Soundcloud or a Youtube or an Instagram can share their own artistic creations with thousands at the click of a button. Some seem to think that an increase in quantity of considerable culture for all has lead to a significant decrease in quality, but I don’t think that’s the case.

Here we all are laughing at how on earth the man who wrote ‘Galway Girl’ could have been held up to some kind of level playing field with Queen Liz, but in many ways Ed Sheeran has been a massive artistic signpost of contemporary culture. Just as we all loved what The Spice Girls threw at us when we were all young, who began a girl-band trend we still see continuing today, kids love Ed who has popularised singer-songwriter music. Just look at all the wannabe Sheeran buskers you hear when walking down Northumberland Street.

People hear about this portrait and laugh, be-

cause we associate ‘culture’ with complicated things like classical music and the opera, but it’s a lot simpler than that. Its just stuff. Stuff we like, stuff we share, stuff we relate to. It reflects us and our society - so when you snub Ed Sheeran, you’re sort of just snubbing your peers and yourself. The accessibility of modern culture has dulled down the classist snobbery that was once an integral part of its being.

better than Miley? Who has the right to tell you Elizabeth’s worth a painting but not Ed? Nobody.

And lets be honest, we’ve all drunkenly danced to Galway Girl once (maybe twice).

“Who has the right to say Shakespeare’s better than Stormzy, Bruegel’s better than Banksy or Mozart’s better than Miley? Who has the right to tell you Elizabeth’s worth a painting but not Ed? ”

And at the end of the day, have you actually seen the portrait? It’s really bloody good. As a standalone piece of art it proves that culture is not only alive, it is thriving. Art is subjective but regardless of how good you think his songs are, bagging 9 of the Top 10 in the charts is a talent in itself. Ed is no less of a worthy portrait subject than 4 boys in a 60s pop band adored by swarms of young girls, or a dumb-blonde rom-com actress who had an affair with the president.

Who has the right to say Shakespeare’s better than Stormzy, Bruegel’s better than Banksy or Mozart’s

The beautiful work of Matt Miller The Arts Eds doing what they do: being salty & talking to playwrights about their stuff

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att Miller drinks black coffee and smokes rollies, because of course he does, he’s a writer.

After coming across Miller’s work last autumn at the wonderful Alphabetti Theatre I couldn’t shake off his brilliant show ‘Sticking’ – a beautifully crafted piece about bisexuality, drugs, sex and rock n roll - and urged a couple of first year writers to review the show. That was the start.

After a tinder date, a puppet show and some Facebook stalking, Matt Miller very nicely agreed to do an interview. And about now I should admit that I didn’t really have an interview with Matt Miller.

It started off all formal as I sat with my moleskine poised, and a list of questions I managed to hurriedly scribble in the margins when thankfully he texted me to say he’d be a little bit late. We just had a chat, a couple of mugs of tea, saw some

great dogs and had a bit of an existential discussion about work, theatre, writing, mental health and sexuality.

“Think Kerouac and Ginsberg - but young, bisexual and with better eyeliner” We had a really good conversation, and ended up having a four hour long interview and general gossip. It was fun. He told me he had always done drama at school, it was the thing he was good at.

Miller’s acting career peaked in Year Six when he played both Scrooge AND Fagin (he was also the narrator for the nativity every year, he informed me).

Unfortunately, I barely took any notes because I figured we were having such an enlightening,

transformative conversation (think Kerouac and Ginsberg - but young, bisexual and with better eyeliner) that I would obviously retain it all.

Which I obviously didn’t. And this I now regret.

The meagre random scrawls on the page go from “SHARE” with loads of stars around it to “worrying less” (nice) to “fucking a wheelbarrow” (referring to the performance artist, Tim Miller.)

I ended up applying electric blue eyeliner on him, and he helped me pick out a decorate your own egg kit (£2 from Tiger, a proper contraption with springs and everything. The recipient was very grateful.) I asked him to give me some life advice, as an aspiring playwright and just as a mediocre millennial. He said to value your own work. Which is a good one. And that honesty is good, but sometimes selfish. Which is a really good one.

An Interview with the brilliant Patrick Ness The Arts Editors give an insight into Patrick Ness and his excellent new book, Release

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atrick Ness, author of the Chaos Walking trilogy, The Rest of us just Live Here, and A Monster Calls, as well as many other YA novels, came onto the stage with an overwhelming applause.

One certainly deserves by such an astute novelist, sweeping the YA floor with his honest and diverse style, and ability to tackle usually hidden subjects with great finesse.

When he finally got to his seat, he rattled off a few quick statements, informing us that complacency is the death of a creative, and how Mrs. Dalloway was a major inspiration for his book.

Even going as far as informing us that he always knows how his novels will begin and end. (Honestly, I’ve tried this a couple of times to too much dismay).

I managed to catch him during his recent tour about the release of his new novel, ‘Release.’ (Ha).

He explained that it was a semi-biographical working of his childhood in Washington, amidst

the evangelical church, or about the time when he was on his bike with a pal and almost got driven over, or how a religious man (and I’m sure that’s

not everyone, words of his own) told him that he and his male partner can’t experience ‘real love’ like that.

And it’s the brutal honesty that grips Patrick Ness’ world so captivatingly. He managed to understand human and pubescent teens of this world and crafts an articulate novel that just so happens to come along for the ride.

And it’s the simple truth that keeps him so refreshing. Let him write another sci-fi about social media and its grip on humanity through the use of male entitled noise, in a world where women were killed for the absence of their; or his personal adaptation of A Monster Calls for the screen.

His eager effervescence manages to charm the audience and his novels with a true sense of being.

It brings you on a story that begs to be finished, with the last words already destined to happen, and is captured so perfectly in the new YA front that challenges mainstream ideas. Well, as long as it’s not another goddamn vampire book.

Mystery Literature Spotlight

“Are you all ready for bed?”

Rin, a small girl, slightly rounded and bright eyed, is looking out of her window into the backyard. The moonlight streams and glistens over the bladed grass, turning the world into a silvery white sea. Rin watches the floor shimmer in the light, ignoring the calls from her father.

“Rin?” He enters the doorway, his shadow stretches across the floor for a meter or two before the moonlight cuts off his head, leaving his black outline half-formed. “Rin, you’ve got school tomorrow. You should be in bed?”

Rin turns towards her father, trying hard to pull her gaze away from the garden.

“But, I am in bed.” She looks down at her pyjamas and tugs on them a little.

“No, like.” Her father sits down on her bed. Rin pivots around, sitting next to her father, her feet hanging in midair. Her father hugs her shoulders.

“You need to be tucked into bed properly. It’s already ten and you’ll be tired tomorrow if you don’t get a good nights sleep.”

Rin shrugs, her lower lip even curls a little.

“But, I want to watch the outside for a little longer. Mei said that it’s Soot night, and if you look closely enough you’ll see them in the forest, giving out wishes.”

“Haha.” Father scoops her up and shuffles her into bed, tucking the edges of Rin’s duvet around her body. “Come on, kid, you’ll just have to talk to Mei tomorrow.”

“But the wishes.” Rin says petulantly.

“I’ve got a few spare for you.” He taps the end of her nose with a finger. “Before you go to sleep just say your wish.”

“And it’ll really work?” Rin yawns.

“Of course.” Her father pats the bed. “Com’ on now, It’s way past your bed time. You know we decided on eight. Eight year olds get to stay up until eight.”

“Okay.”

Father touches her cheek.

“And remember that wish.”

“Okay.” She closes her eyes and Father kisses her on the top of her head.

“Sweet dreams.”

Father stands from the bed and closes the curtains.

“Night, dad.”

He stands in the doorway for a second before slowly closing the door, “Night.”

Rin looks around her dark room, listening to the hallway and Father’s steps as he walks away from the bedroom. She pulls up her duvet and lifts herself up from her bed. She looks around in the half-light, half-expecting Father to open the door to check on her again.

She loves this anticipation.

The stilling air presses on her clothes, almost holding her in space.

She opens the curtains a little so the light of the moon cuts the room in two, leaving stars of dust to float in the spaces its created. She listens for the door, nothing, back at the window’s silvery light, then across her room, nothing; her bookshelves and bears growing in the autumn moonlight.

She pokes head through the space in the curtains and watches the world, picking up on the small light scattering on the empty fields and on all of the dying flowers, and all of the sandwiched trees.

She squints a little, looking at the movement of a small creature at the edge of the woods. It stops and turns to look towards her. It hesitates for a second before waving.

Rin quickly tucks her head back into her room, pausing for a second before crawling back into bed: her eyes wide, listening to see if her father will come past. Nothing. She exhales slightly, thinking about her wish.

“I wish I had my brother back,” she whispers.

For more, please follow: https://literatureandwarmcoats.wordpress.com/

24. music

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Music Editors: Sophie Ahmed, Serena Bhardwaj & Ben Grundy

Toon In Fyre flop: A festival nightmare

Ben Grundy and Jon Rolph catch up with Superfood in a booth in Digi before they hit ThinkTank as part of the DirtyHit Tour BG: How have you found reinventing some of your older songs with their only being the two of you fully in the band now (following the departure of bassist Emily Barker and drummer Carl Griffin)?

Dom: It’s funny because it is just two of us now in the photos and stuff but it’s always been us two who have written the music and recorded the songs.

So, in a sense, it’s not that different. Over the last few years, it’s been up and down and there’s never enough money to pay everyone. Me and Ryan have always had it in our bones that this is what we want to do. It’s a shame but we’re still on good terms with them. Still, I feel we’ve got an amazing band now and it feels pretty similar but now we have our new songs which are changing our sound a bit. Consequently, we want our sound to fit with our new groove.

“This is the album we very much always wanted to make”

JR: In terms of new stuff, you’ve released the new single ‘Double Dutch’ which has a slightly different tone to previous material. Is the rest of the album fairly similar to that sort of vibe?

Dom: There’s loads of shades and sides to the new record. The reason for the Double Dutch artwork looks like it does is in order to show 13 different pieces all fitting together to make a shape. That was the sole image we could think of when we were trying to come up with the ideas for the artwork.

I think the artwork is fairly true to the record as you could listen independently to two tracks from it and questions if it was the same band making those sounds Dom: I think this is the album we very much always wanted to make. When you listen to our original demos, they are Beck and Gorillaz-esque but we seemed to lose sight of that in the studio with thefirst album. Since then, we’ve taken our time and recorded it all ourselves with no producer or engineer. It was just us two so there was nothing standing in the way of us producing the exact record we wanted to. If we had had our hands on the control board the first time round, the album would have had these kind of vibes from the outset.

BG: Would you say then there was pressure the first time around? Did you feel constraints with the first album?

Dom: I think that everyone wanted us to be this indie Britpop thing and we just went along with it in all honesty. We went into the studio and the stuff initially we were creating had big, loud, posh drums but I’m not sure if it was really us. So it’s been nice to have time to write and sit back this time around. It means you can question whether you really like what you’ve produced and would want to listen to it.

“Gigs here - even as a teenager when I’ve been here - always are full of people who are keen and up for getting their money’s worth out of a ticket”

BG: Going back to people wanting you to sound in a certain way, initially the band received a lot of hype from NME – do you think that’s affected the band’s progression? And now that the publication has changed, how has that impacted the band as a whole?

Dom: NME have always been really sound with us. *pauses* They’ll continue to support what we do as it still has indie music in its nature and we’re coming from an indie label.

BG: I’d like to ask you as well what your experiences of Newcastle as a music city as, stereotypically, Newcastle has a reputation for bars and clubs?

Dom: We know loads of bands that have originated from this area such as VANT. Gigs here – even as a teenager when I’ve been here – always are full of people who are keen and up for getting their money’s worth out of a ticket. It’s on a par with Manchester in that sense – there’s no one chilling at the back, stroking their beards and thinking they’re the shit as they got in on the guestlist.

Alice Wilson exposes the failure of millionare Billy MacFarland’s musical venture on the Bahamian Island of Great Exuma, and lets us know how festivals should be done properly

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op of the range, eco-friendly, modern dome-tents, celebrity chef gourmet meals, Caribbean blue sea, white sands and an A-List guestlist. Doesn’t sound like your average festival does it? And at $1500 FOR A DAY TICKET, it bloody well shouldn’t be. Welcome to Fyre festival. When imagining the board meeting between the organisers (millionaire Billy MacFarland and his band of minions) discussing the festival in its early stages, I see a VIP suite in a swanky New York hotel, and a flip chart of ‘Pros’ and ‘Cons’ of festivals.

away all the ‘luxury domes’, the flights were misscheduled and the buses were overloaded. Food and water was scarce- to such an extent that refugee-camp-esque makeshift food shelters were set up, where the ‘michelin-star gourmet meals’ consisted of bread, cheese and a salad. Oh no, sorry, dressed salad. My mistake.

And almost as soon as ticket-holders had salvaged their baggage from shipping containers hours after they actually arrived, they were back at

“I was a tiny bit delighted when it all went to shit”

The ‘Pros’ of course include an excuse to splash out on a new bohemian wardrobe, basking in the sunshine being serenaded by some of the best bands in the world, and just being in a constant state of intoxication for a whole weekend.

‘Cons’ of course being mud, drunk people making a racket, poor waste management and huge loo queues.

The solution? Throw money at it: stick phrases like ‘top-of-the-range’ and ‘luxury’ in front of ordinary festival essentials, add a few zeroes onto the end of the ticket prices and voila, cut out all the poor people who shouldn’t be there anyway, ruining a perfectly good booze up with some old corporate chums and the odd supermodel. Sort of like a ‘Private Festival’. Sounds great, right? Wrong.

Which is why, I must confess, I was a tiny bit delighted when it all went to shit. The weather blew

the airport looking for flights home after seeing the carnage of the site and discovering the harsh reality that none of their beloved bands were going to turn up. Jokes aside, lots of money was lost and there were real health hazards due to lack of clean water and sanitation, which is why the organizers now face hundreds of millions

of dollars’ worth of refunds and lawsuits.

Aside from all of this, luxury is of course desirable on say, a relaxing beach or skiing holiday, but at a festival? It just isn’t a festival without the overcrammed backpacks, slightly greasy hair and soggy feet (with the lingering worry of genuine trench foot throughout the whole weekend).

“There were real health hazards due to lack of clean water and sanitation”

Luxury gourmet meals?

Give me an over-priced fatty burger and chips from a dodgy looking van in the early hours. Sure, the mud and loos are both inconvenient and gross, but without it, you’d never have drunkenly became best friends with those random girls who were just as desperate for a wee as you in the queue, or made those makeshift yet ingenious plasticbag-shoe-things after you finally decided to abandon your cheap Primark wellies. A festival is an excuse to be part of one big, dysfunctional, gross, smelly and intoxicated family jamming it out to some great tunes in some shite weather, and I’m sure most people would choose that over some too-good-to-be-true ‘luxury festival’ any day of the week.

Hunter and the Bear hit the Spot at Trillians

Robyn Wainwright praises the recent #UnsungHeroes campaign run by Spotify which has helped lesser known bands gain the attention and recognition they 100% deserve

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obgoblin and Spotify rock their way to victory celebrating the #UnsungHeroes of music.

On the 3rd May, bands Leader and Hunter and the Bear came together to amaze audiences in Newcastle, in partnership with Hobgoblin and Spotify, to help celebrate the unsung heroes of music.

Hobgoblin beer and Spotify music partnered up to bring alive the #UnsungHero campaign to celebrate the legends of the music industry that work behind the scenes and in the shadows. This campaign’s sole purpose is to bring our unsung heroes into the light and to recognise and celebrate their talents.

The campaign takes an in-depth look at a number of different unsung heroes within music. All areas of the music industry are celebrated, taking prime place on the Unsung Heroes website http:// unsung-heroes.wychwood-competitions.com.

The campaign focuses on Scott Findlay, a guitar technician to the Vamps, Ben Hammond, a sound engineer, Luke Bell, a production coordinator to bands such as the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Jordan Cooper, a lighting designer for the Cribs, and Chris Haigh, a composer to Hollywood films such as Wolverine and Rise of the Planet of the Apes

“Hunter and Bear, returning to the city where they lost their debut virginity, played strikingly in Newcastle”

The brand manager from Hobgoblin said ‘This is a really exciting partnership for Hobgoblin and cements the brand’s work within the music industry and up-and-coming bands. We will be outing out own stamp on the live music tours and can promise a mischievous Hobgoblin experience and the chance to share some legendary beer with your mates while listening to some fantastic live music’.

The two bands who helped to celebrate our Unsung Heroes are not strangers to Newcastle.

Hunter and the Bear, returning to the city where they lost their debut virginity, played strikingly in Newcastle. This was in promotion of their new upcoming album Paper Hearts released on the 12th May, an album they’ve been building up to for 5 years. The band got an astounding reaction, with the crowd screaming for an encore as soon as the band finished, proving once again that Hunter and the Bear really are the saviours of contemporary rock and roll.

The opening act Leader stunned the audience with their heartfelt and incredible original songs.

With support from the likes of BBC Introducing and Hobgoblin, I am anticipating bright things in 2017 for this insane pop/ rock band. During an interview with Leader they stated ‘We are the first act that Hobgoblin sponsored.

We are the flagship band, at least that’s what they call us. They approached us early on because we grew up in the same town as the (Hobgoblin’s) brewery. They saw us at a festival and said we’re trying to get into music, can we use you guys’.

Going from strength to strength it is no wonder Hobgoblin requested their presence for this amazing gig.

These gigs really are a great opportunity to get artists and fans together to celebrate. Especially to celebrate the sound, lighting,

behind the scenes managing and photographers that keep our music industry going. This is your chance to help raise a glass to our #UnsungHeroes.

“These gigs really are a great opportunity to get artists and fans together to celebrate”

If you missed the gig in Newcastle don’t worry, you still have chance to catch the Hobgoblin and Spotify gigs with an array of different acts. Next stop is London on the 11th May at Dinwalls featuring amazing bands Glass Peaks and Island. They are then hitting up Birmingham on the 1st of June at Mama Roux’s with epic bands Shanghai Blues and Palace. Get your tickets while you can!

The Courier

music .25

Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk

Happyness: Review & Interview Toby Livsey chats with Jonny Allen and Benji Compston from Happyness in ThinkTank

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fter furiously Facebook messaging vast paragraphs of indulgent self-justification, hoping to land this interview, the Courier made the executive decision that I was the man for the job.

And so it was there on the 24th of April, in the dark catacombs of ‘Think Tank’ that I finally found Happyness. The band has a very unique sound, especially in comparison to the rest of guitar-based music of this decade. They’re not really indie rock and guitarist/bassist/singer Jonny Allen refutes the more popular label, given to them, of ‘90’s slacker rock,’ so I guess we’re back to square one. To be frank, Happyness are a London trio, who showcase a kind of melting pot of much of various types of rock and pop of the last 60 years. However, you’re an idiot if you don’t think they sound like Sparklehorse, who is very clearly an influence at least on their vocal sound if not every area of their music.

“In the dark catacombs of ThinkTank I found happyness” The band played a wonderfully dynamic performance, starting fast and energetic with ‘anything I do is alright’ and then following with many songs from their new album, ‘Write in.’

They peacefully slowed everyone down with graceful piano tracks such as ‘Through windows’ and then threw us all off course with the weird, atmospheric ‘the C is A B A G.’ I was going nuts and my Bolton correspondent and Flares fanatic, Jonny Eccleswas going nuts. By the end of the gig, we were both certifiably insane. Clinical care followed but we feel better now.

Anyway I had a chance to interview the frontmen of the band before the gig, previously mentioned guitarist/bassist/ singer Jonny Allen and guitarist/pianist/singer Benji Compston. The interview was long so I’ve chosen my highlights...

TL: For the lyrics of especially the first album, when you write a song do you like the sound of the words specifically and the imagery they create or are the songs genuinely about something and you sit down to write it about something because I really love your lyrics, I think they’re brilliant but I just don’t know how they come about.

(Benji’s expression is one of gratitude) Benji: I think it’s almost always more of the first , I don’t think we’ve ever been like ‘we should write a song about this’ Jonny: I think every time we’ve tried to write a song about anything specific it’s just it’s ended up sounding completely…

(I rudely cut him off ) Me: Cheesy?

Jonny: ...shallow and stupid Benji: I think it’s just always sounded really tongue-in-cheek and really ‘fuck you’.

Benji: I think sometimes we write a song and we kind of realise what it’s maybe actually about quite a lot later and we’re like ‘I guess that part was that.’

Would you concur Jonny?

Jonny: I dunno I have quite a specific idea of what I think it means at the

time and its very nice coming back to songs later and finding new alleyways to it but that’s just kind of words isn’t it.

“I weirdly like hearing, if just as kind of a nice reference point, the situations or the memories that people find moving or relevant relating to a specific song” TL: well this is what I’m saying, so you like the sound of the words (rather than trying write about something in particular)?

Jonny: Yeah we like words (Benji nods) TL: (later on): Your songs would work so well in films, have you ever thought about that?

Jonny: We’ve thought a lot that it would be nice if people put our songs in films more often and paid us royally for it (We all laugh at this comment) TL: So you care about the money in that situation Jonny: It’s all about the money (Jessy J enters and looks appalled. Then exits) TL: It is about the money and that’s why I’m here today because this is a lucrative interview Benji: We’ll invoice you at the end Jonny: We’ll get our cut. We always get our cut.

TL: (later still): When someone asks you about your music what do you want to hear?

Benji: I weirdly like hearing, if just as a kind of nice reference point, the situations or the memories that people find moving or relevant relating to a specific song.

That’s nice to hear if only as a relatively passing comment, it brings a little bit of perspective.

This Old Dog

Felt

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Mac DeMarco

Clean Cut Kid

Cashmere Cat

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is third studio album following the release of the acclaimed Salad Days in 2014 followed by Another One in 2015, This Old Dog is Mac DeMarco’s latest release, a mix of easy listening, sunny weekend-afternoon songs. His easy-going, casual and authentic style expressed in his previous work is reflected in his new album, but with definite signs of progress and development. It seems more simplistic in some ways, as reflected in single ‘My Old Man’ which is undoubtedly written in reference to his father and has a delicate, acoustic tone to it. Despite Mac’s admittance that his relationship with his father was difficult when he was growing up, there is not a tinge of sadness or self-pity in his songs; his matter-of-fact and sincere nature gives his songs a realness about them.

“open, honest and confessional, which gives it authenticity ”

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lean Cut Kid finished their stint as support on The Kooks sold out UK tour by releasing their debut album. The album contains a mixture remastered versions of their previous singles and several new tracks.

Opening track ‘Vitamin C’ is the perfect introduction to the band and the album. An upbeat song with a feel-good vibe which then continues throughout the album making it feel like the perfect soundtrack for the coming summer months.

The title track and lead single ‘Felt’ lies mid album featuring tempo changes, catchy lyrics, soaring vocals and instrumentals sections which seem the essential components of a Clean Cut Kid song. This is then immediately followed by ‘Brother of Mine’, which as the most emotional song of the album slows down the pace and almost seems misplaced in the middle of an otherwise infectiously cheery album.

“The perfect soundtrack for the coming summer months”

On the other hand, the dreamy, trance-like and atmospheric nature of ‘On the Level’, his third single draws more similarities to his previous releases such as ‘Chamber of Reflection’ and ‘Without Me’.

The repetitive choruses, and slight haziness so evident in these works are shown in his new work evoking his casual, almost lazy persona.

‘Still Beating’ is another song which despite its melancholy subject matter, still has a gentle easiness and positivity surrounding it, any bitterness you would think might be there, is not. It is open, honest and confessional which gives it authenticity.

Single ‘This Old Dog’ is representative of the more simplistic, minimalistic style of the album. It feels more acoustic, the sound is rawer, less processed. Still it doesn’t lose its charm or character, the half-asleep, casual nature is still apparent, maybe that’s why we love Mac so much.

The album falls on the lighter side of Indie Pop with catchy choruses you’ll find yourself singing along to. The album revolves exclusively around relationships and love which is perhaps to be expected considered the band began as a husband and wife duo. The band has a unique sound due to the contrasting male and female vocals provided by the couple, this combined with harmonies and layered vocals gives the band their distinctive sound.

This album is a pleasure to listen to and my summer playlist will undoubtedly be studded with Clean Cut Kid songs. This album is an impressive first offering proving Clean Cut Kid are definitely a band on the way up who I am going to keep an eye (or rather an ear) on.

Natasha Downie

Eloise Doherty

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p and coming DJ Cas mere Cat has released his hotly anticipated debut album 9. It’s futuristic pop sound has limited its rise up the charts but the genre-bending work is of huge importance concerning the future of pop.

There is a wave of artists causing commotion in the pop industry with the birth of a new cutting edge sound including A.G. Cook and SOPHIE whilst Cashmere Cat is spearheading the movement. 9 may include collaborations with the likes of Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez and Camila Cabello but it is far from these Popstars’ comfort zones. 9 opens with the heavily synthesised vocals of Kehlani in ‘Night Night’ which sets up the album perfectly. It’s not a comfortable listen; the sound is new and doesn’t really fit into any of the genres currently dominating the music industry yet impressive nonetheless.

“The genre-bending work is of huge importance”

Standout tracks include ‘Wild Love’ with The Weekend and previously released single ‘Love Incredible’ with Cabello. You will have heard the phenomenally catchy ‘Trust Nobody’ with Gomez and Tory Lanez doing the rounds whilst latest single from the record ‘Quit’ with Ariana Grande is the easiest listen. Vocal-less ‘Victoria’s Veil’ showcases exactly what Cashmere Cat is trying to do but title-track ‘9’ with MØ and SOPHIE is by far the most impressive song on the album, coming closest to the imminent genre breakthrough.

The importance of Cashmere Cat’s 9 wont be fully realised for a while yet but he and those around him are pushing against the dated pop-industry to forge this new futuristic pop sound. Cat’s record stands alone at the moment but, come the end of the year, with albums from Mura Masa, Charli XCX and MØ (who are both working with DJ SOPHIE) it will be better understood. Toby Bryant

Electronic Blanket Sophie Ahmed and the ironic Resurrection of her love for Burial in the last column of her uni career

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fter three years at university, my music taste has come full circle. Newcastle has taken me on a journey through electronic soundscapes; I’ve acquired an unashamed appreciation for Techno after attending Backdrop nights, a set of decks (even though they’re currently collecting dust in the corner of my room), and a NUDJ membership (even though that society no longer exists). I say I’ve come full circle because I’ve recently reverted to a love for live instrumentation, having finally played a couple of gigs as a bassist. However, I certainly won’t be leaving my soft spot for synthesised sounds behind in Newcastle, and I have relied on wordless electronic beats to align library seshes more closely with “The Sesh” in my recent dissertation-writing distress. After overplaying a Spotify playlist called ‘Electronic Concentration’, I decided to compile my own: ‘Music to Marj to’. Somewhere along the line I remembered the true greatness of Burial’s second album, Untrue. Although this record is a product of South London, and Burial has probably never been played on a night out in Newcastle, the city’s underbelly lurks in every crevice of these tracks. Music is malleable; it means different things to different people, and to me, if Untrue had a smell it’d be that of petrol fumes and weed/ sweat outside WHQ. Tracks like ‘Near Dark’, ‘Ghost Hardware’ and ‘Raver’ would not be out of place at infamous Brandling Park basement parties or criminal Ouseburn ‘sewer’ raves, events that have shaped my uni experience and will never be forgotten.

It’s funny how music can connect itself to times and places it played no part in purely because of the feelings it creates. When I first heard Untrue before university, I desired to visit the kind of dark but enchanting cityscape it envisioned with its UK bass bravado and Garage undertones. Who would have thought I’d find just that in the UK’s party city and home of Geordie Shore.

You Need To Hear: Romare For my last column, it feels appropriate to dedicate my final bit of promo to (probably) the best DJ I’ve seen during my time in Newcastle. I’d prepared myself for magical things from Romare AKA Archie Fairhurst prior to his set at Worldies as I’d watched his Boiler Room performance on YouTube to get myself in the mood, and there was an unwavering groove in his mixing that seemed infectious. Romare’s selections and original compositions contain a really interesting blend of styles, including Jazz, Blues, Disco and Psychedelia. Fairhurst studied African American Visual Culture at university and the influence of African American music is at the forefront of his discography, in tracks like ‘All Night’ with its funky bassline and soulful vocal samples. Whether you’re watching him spin vinyl records in a club or listening to his own releases, Romare has the ability to make us all feel a little bit cooler.

Listen To: Romare - Who To Love?

Preview: Mungo’s Hi-Fi – The 5am Session – World Headquarters, 1st June With just under a week to go until I officially finish uni, I’m looking forward to absolutely everything that incites the slightest bit of fun, but this event more than anything else. I guess I could be edgy one last time and let you know about a DJ you’ve never heard of, playing at a club you’ve never heard of, but I’ll spare you the pretentiousness because I’m feeling nostalgic. No strangers to the Newcastle scene, and particularly to Worldies, Mungo’s Hi-Fi return to kickstart summer with their Scottish-Jamaican amalgamation of Reggae, Dub and Dancehall. I haven’t seen these guys since first year and I can’t wait to finish my Newcastle experience how I started with Mungo’s good vibes.

Follow us on intagram for music gossip- @courier_music

26.television

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

TV Editors: Luke Acton, Alison Scurfield and Dominic Corrigan

Throwback

Chris Wilkinson gets into The Thick of It

I

remember, lying back on the bottomless felt sofa of my front room, when I first heard the orchestral notes of Malcolm Tucker. My sister had told me of this series that I might find funny.

It was written by the same guy who had written for Alan Partridge, Armando Ianucci, and had a political backdrop which was essentially taking the piss out of inept politicians.

“I realised that something was happening. It was simple. I was in love”

I think it was between Roger Allam’s hatred of ‘attention seeking tent-based twattery’ and Peter Capaldi’s supreme interpretation of the Star Wars franchise that I realised that something was happening. It was simple. I was in love. Even to a seventeen year old political romantic, it wasn’t just the subject matter that provided a hypnotic allure.

Sure, there was something hysterically funny in seeing the public breakdowns reflective of so many of our blessedly inadequate political class, but there was something so rounded to it, so masterful.

As with all the best comedy, lying underneath the laughter is a tone of prophecy. When listening to the dialogue, you can feel a sense of danger. Not because the characters are saying anything grotesque or tasteless, but because you know that this is what some people who rule this country were and are thinking, and this isn’t because the series was so intent on following current events. Just ask the plethora of politicians who think so too. Testimonials range from David Cameron to Peter Mandelson to Alistair Campbell, the Dark Lord of Spin himself. And if that isn’t sufficient assurance that this series is terrifyingly close to reality, there have been even been government reports made

by Select Committees which refer to the program.

This blanket of mistruth and falsehood which has settled on modern day politics is so painfully portrayed in The Thick of It, that even now as we speak an American version is being broadcast, which, I am sure, will give appropriate treatment to the lavish and extravagant material that is being churned out across the Atlantic.

“I feel sorry for Peter Capaldi more than anything, it seemed the role that he was meant to play”

But it is just such a depressing thing when remembering that there will no more Thick of It. When series 4 ended, Malcolm Tucker was being subject to something long overdue, and it wasn’t travelling around the universe skipping through God-Awful storylines which make you want to plunge a sonic-screwdriver through your eyeballs.

I feel sorry for Peter Capaldi more than anything, it seemed the role that he was meant to play. There was a sympathetic but destructive character sitting behind the ragged fury of those eyes, and something so utterly compelling about his operatic cursing.

But then again, the worst a series can do is descend into atrophy, and Thick of It certainly did not do that. It did not just maintain but increased in its genius, and that is just symptomatic of Armando Ianucci, isn’t it?

I will forever miss The Thick of It, and everything that came with it. But, I suppose, we will always have its reality.

It’s all about the very best of the best Kelly South selects Channel 4’s sci-fi series, Humans, as the cream of the crop this year

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erason 2 of the Channel 4 sci-fi series Humans is wickedly underrated. It’s a delight to watch in addition to being a powerfully unsettling series. Series 2 continued to explore a world where robots, referred to as ‘Synths’, are astoundingly commonplace.

Synths serve humans in an incalculable number of roles: they are your local baristas, tireless factory labourers, childminders and cleaners across your neighbourhood, a few are even sex workers expected to indulge sickening fantasies without complaint.

Series 1 of Humans highlighted the questionable ethics in manufacturing robots mostly indistinguishable from humans, and the abuses they endure – after all, people believe they can’t feel, so any physical damage Synths suffer is only property damage, and emotional distress is an impossibility, right? The first series wasted no time informing viewers that some Synths are conscious, and they’re angry.

about Synths and human nature. The pair play the heavier aspects of their roles well, while allowing for scenes of sentimental – but never saccharine – family drama with their children.

The second season adds Carrie-Anne Moss (Th ( e Matrix, Jessica Jones) Jones as Dr. Anne Morrow, a talented scientist obsessed with how Synth technology can help her further her own deeply personal agenda.

“Humans highlighted the questionable ethics in manufacturing robots mostly indistinguishable from humans, and the abuses they endure”

The Independent has referred to Humans as “Black Black Mirror Mirror-esque” but that genuinely does the sci-fi series a disservice, and I truly can’t convey how entertaining and disturbing it is. The soundtrack by Cristobal Tapia De Veer (Utopia, (Utopia The Girl with All the Gifts) is (Utopia haunting, electronic, and addictive.

It seems as though series which were designed to be binge-watched on streaming services like Netflix appeal most to students, as we were all prone to becoming obsessed with Stranger Things, ings A Series of Unfortunate Events, and countless drab TV shows set in the MCU for a couple weeks after they’re released. It’s harder than ever to wait for weekly instalments now.

The third series will air on Channel 4 in 2018. Until then, catch up on – binge, if you must – the first two series online.

“Emily Berrington was unfamiliar to me before I watched the series but she is ferocious as conscious Synth Niska”

Humans is full of exceptional actors: Gemma Chan shines as conscious Synth Anita, Emily Berrington was unfamiliar to me before I watched the series but she is ferocious as conscious Synth Niska, Neil Maskell (familiar to fans of Utopia)) beautifully portrays ‘Special Technologies Task Force’ Officer D.S. Pete Drummond, and Colin Morgan (Merlin)) as Leo Elster is the best he’s ever been.

The main cast is rounded out by Katherine Parkinson (Th The IT Crowd) and Tom Goodman-Hill as spouses, Laura and Joe Hawkins, who have to challenge their assumptions

To Humans or not to Humans?; that is the question. Let us know your thoughts at c2.tv@ncl.ca.uk

Just let The Simpsons be at peace

The show isn’t what it used to be, Jacob Clarke tells how it got this way and what’s next

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o anyone born in the 1990s The Simpsons gives us huge feelings of childhood nostalgia, looking back on some of the series classic, zany, and heart filled episodes. After 28 years on our screens, maybe it was too much to ask that the brilliance of The Simpsons continue.

Starting life as a crudely drawn dysfunctional family based mostly around slapstick comedy on the Tracy Ullman Show, The Simpsons gained wide popularity and was soon given its own TV slot by FOX, in what was a bold move, giving one of its primetime slots to a cartoon. We see this more regularly today with shows such as Family Guy, Futurama, South Park etc. being given prime TV recognition. This was only due to The Simpsons’ incredible success against the odds, being the only animated entertainment among live action procedurals. Between season 2 and 10 there were some real classic episodes of The Simpsons that simply ooze nostalgia and good feeling. Take for example ‘Who Shot Mr Burns?’, ‘The Plow King’, ‘Marge vs The Monorail’, ‘Treehouse of Horror VI’ and ‘The Barbershop Quartet’. All these episodes took place before season 10. After season 10 is popularly referred to the moment The Simpsons began to die.

“After 28 years on our screens, maybe it was too much to ask that the brilliance of The Simpsons continue”

Whilst there were still some very funny and endearing episodes, some episodes simply became tacky and an excuse for a novelty or celebrity cameo. For example, the episode ‘The Principle and the Pauper’ was set up with a great reveal that would

Simpson made me gay”, in one episode, purely to jump on the homophobic joke train, just caused lazy writing to further take over the series.

In recent years, this has not improved. nearly all the episodes in every season seem to be centred around a celebrity cameo, it has almost become rite of passage for an up and coming star to have their own Simpsons episode. Season 28 had a cameo in almost every episode, featuring celebs such as Bill Burr, Joyce Carol Oates and Drew Carey within episodes of eachother. This really cheapens the series, it makes celebrity cameos an expected part of the viewing and loses the surprise value of a celebrity appearing in cartoon form as they used to do in earlier season.

“In recent years, this has not improved. nearly all the episodes in every season seem to be centred around a celebrity cameo”

have changed a character’s story immensely from the past two decades. However, the writer decided to lay a ‘it was all a dream’ variant at the end of the episode, effectively wasting 20 minutes for nothing to happen. This, along with the inclusion of infantile jokes such as when Rod exclaimed “Mrs

Unfortunately, after the release of The Simpsons Movie, which some have said was the last great Simpsons outing, there seems to be little chance a rise in quality. Most of the original writers have now either left or died and so the respectful thing to have done was to end the series on a high note, however this is no longer possible anymore, and is now simply airing as a cash cow for FOX and Groening himself.

The Courier

television.27

Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

Archer: Dreamland Online

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he world’s best-known animated, really inappropriate secret agent is back on our TV screens, and this time, he’s… in the 1940s? Archer’s eighth season, entitled Archer: Dreamland, shifts the plot again. Whilst in the sixth season the team were drug dealers, and in the seventh, Hollywood private investigators, the eighth sees the (debatably) super sleuth not dead, but in a three-month coma after his injuries sustained during the finale of season seven, and the majority of scenes are played out in Sterling Archer’s imagination.

relationships feel underwhelming in this season where once they were relied upon heavily to make up humour and plot. Sterling no longer has the dynamic that he shares with his mother, due to their non-relation, and this is really noticeable from early on. Similarly, Archer shares little screentime with Lana Kane in this season as of yet, leading to you wondering how much Lana really matters in this season. Archer, Malory and Lana are, arguably, the key propelling forces within this show – if we forget Gillette’s robot legs – and the three bouncing off one another was central to the previous seasons. Now, this is quite lacking.

In spite of this, the changes to the s h o w ’s humour make it noticeably

“The humour is notably sharper, with the change of scenery in the mind’s eye of Archer serving perfectly for the ridiculous ejaculations (phrasing, boom!)”

R

Online

ick and Morty are back! After the premiere episode was played on a loop on the Adult Swim website as an April fool’s Day prank, we finally get to see our favourite unlikely space and time travelling duo back in action In ‘The Rickshank Redemption’. The series opener sees Morty and the rest of his family coming to terms with Rick handing himself into the Galactic Federation after season twos’ gripping finale.

This episode came totally out of the blue for us Rick and Morty fans, after adult swim decided to punk us all with it earlier in April. Let me tell you know, it was a very welcome surprise, almost everyone I know who has watched Rick and Morty is hooked, it’s the adult cartoon of choice for those who find the likes of Family Guy and American Dad are just too tame. They’re like Spongebob Squarepants compared to this. Let’s just say, that if you’re very easily offended, you should not be watching this. Just don’t bother, Ofcom don’t care if you’re massively offended, in fact, they’ll probably chuck your letter straight in the bin.

“That Shoney’s looks like a wonderful and family-friendly restaurant - I know I’d like to have a booth there”

The episode begins with Rick sat in a classic allAmerican diner, Shoney’s, soaking up the atmosphere. However, all is not what it seems at first glance. There is one thing I think we can all agree on, though. That Shoney’s looks like a wonderful and family-friendly restaurant - I know I’d like to have a booth in there.

With Earth now under the control of the Galactic Federation, can Rick manage to prise it out of its clutches, and more importantly, can he manage to make things good with his family after betraying them, especially his daughter Beth, who he

“The overall episode layout hasn’t all that much changed, if there even was a layout to begin with, and the episodes themselves are stylistically amazing”

The overall episode layout hasn’t all that much changed, if there even was a layout to begin with, and the episodes themselves are stylistically amazing. If you’ve never seen Archer, grab yourself a glass of bourbon and get watching. If you have, you almost know what to expect. Get right to it.

Due to this split between dream sequences and reality, in which the remainder o f the team are reeling from not only Sterling’s situation, but the death of another member of the group in between seasons. (I’m obviously not spoiling that for you, I have standards.) Whilst Malory, Lana and the “real world” fade into obscurity, we find ourselves in a stylised but altogether similar situation to Archer’s existence: a cocky and overconfident agent finding himself in painfully ridiculous situations.

The humour is notably sharper, with the change of scenery in the mind’s eye of Archer serving perfectly f o r the ridiculous ejaculations (phrasing, boom!) that everyone’s constantly coming out with. The strange incestuous relationships between the team? Even stranger, now it’s set in a world where Malory isn’t Archer’s mother, but a club owner who goes by the name of Mother. Oh, also, Pam’s a bloke. I think.

I’m not really sure what’s going on with that one.

There are notable changes, however, and certain

Rick and Morty

better. There’s even more attention to detail, endless references that you’d probably have to wiki in order to understand them all (trust me, I sit on the Archer wiki all the time after new episodes) and on top of this, the humour is interlaced with an actual story, something that the first few seasons didn’t really, well, have all that much of. As always however, Archer’s overall uselessness, his inability to actually, well, spy, as well as being too cocky to lie, hide himself or disguise himself, are key proponents.

Errol Kerr

abandoned when she was just a little girl? I won’t give away much more however, I’ll let you be the judge of that yourself, for those of you literally living under a rock (Seriously, just watch the damned episode!)

“We can only hope that the next episode comes sooner rather than later, and that Rick and Morty are getting schwifty for a long time yet”

Although the rest of season three might not be coming out for a few months yet, I am hungry for more after watching ‘The Rickshaw Redemption’, and I’m sure that you are too. We can only hope that the next episode comes sooner rather than later, and that Rick and Morty are getting schwifty for a long time yet. Please, Adult Swim, just renew Rick and Morty for another three series right now, because I’ll be wanting to watch for a long time yet.

And don’t pull another stunt like you did on April 1, I don’t think my body can handle it.

Jack Oliver Parker

Joel’s Dead Good Shows

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op icon Lady Gaga described American Horror Story creator Ryan Murphy as “talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it...”. It was a quotation that would grace gifs and memes on Tumblr and the internet, but more than that, Lady Gaga’s statement could be used to describe the show’s fifth season, subtitled Hotel, in which she starred.

Set in the fictional Cortez hotel in Los Angeles, the season featured supernatural presences, from seductive vampires to the spirits of infamous serial killers such as Aileen Wuornos.

The former were perhaps the leading force of show, with Lady Gaga’s beautifully creepy vampiric the Countess leading the troupe of misfits and blood-curling villains (and some heroes). I would recommend the season for Lady Gaga’s performance alone.

Alongside the singer-turned-actress were a host of popular AHS regulars: Evan Peters as the elegantly deranged Mr. March; Sarah Paulson as crack-addict Sally McKenna; Denis O’Hare in the outstanding role of transgender bartender Liz Taylor; and the legendary Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett as Iris and Ramona Royale respectively.

Also look out for the handsome Matt Bomer and Wes Bentley who take on the lead male roles and help play out some pretty interesting (and deadly) love-triangles. The ensembles are, as with previous seasons, fantastic.

“Whilst we lost Lange, we gained a pop icon who provided equally compelling viewing as a domineering female goddess”

There’s a wide range of characters and backstories, so there’s something for everyone! Speaking of AHS regulars though - Hotel was the first in the franchise not to feature Jessica Lange, who had been the core of the show for the first four seasons.

I longed for Lange to make a surprise appearance, I truly did, but even without her the show managed to work, but primarily because of Lady Gaga.

The franchise works so well, and is so interesting, because of Murphy’s portrayal of strong female leads. They make the show so entertaining and fantastic, and so whilst we lost Lange, we gained a pop icon who provided equally compelling viewing as a domineering female goddess. Interestingly, although Lange did not return, several characters from previous seasons such as Coven’s Queenie and Murder House’s Billie Dean Howard returned for a visit to the Cortez hotel.

The narrative of the season focuses on a mysterious set of murders, each relating to a Biblical sin. It’s an interesting arc with some twists and turns throughout (it is AHS after all so you have to expect a few surprise deaths or surprises!). Ultimately the show becomes about more than just the serial killer plotline though – it’s about the hotel itself and the community it harbours; misfits, as with much of Murphy’s work, and murderers, an secrets galore. In all honesty it isn’t the best of the show’s seasons, but it was incredibly engaging all the same (and certainly an improvement on preceding season Freak Show). It’s by far the sexiest and most glamorous in the AHS franchise and it stars Lady freaking Gaga as a vampire. It’s got sex appeal, blood, murder, lust, vampires, ghosts, and a whole host of lovable characters; what’s not to love horror fans?

Joel Leaver

28.filmfeatures

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Film Editors: Emma Allsopp, Zoë Godden & Simon Ramshaw

Kramer vs. LAMER: Clash or crash?

With the announcement of the ‘far-more-serious/much-less-action-packed-than-it-sounds’ Superman vs. The KKK, Alex Ridley dissects ‘versus’ films for all their pros and cons

M The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) In the final instalment of Column 2, but Elena Trayanova revisits Peter Jackson’s seminal Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Does it hold up like the walls of Helm’s Deep(!), or are two towers better than one?

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hen you’re a crazy Tolkien fan with a special appreciation for Peter Jackson’s work, picking favourites is both a very difficult and a very easy task. I’ve always been quite keen on The Fellowship of the Ring since as you may imagine it was the first Lord of the Rings movie I ever saw and it has since been my favourite. However, not until recently that I had to actually think about which movie I would rank higher than the rest, I thought that The Two Towers undoubtedly stands on top of the chart – and we’re talking extended versions here.

When the first film leaves you holding your breath in anticipation to watch the sequel, you kind of have to hope that it will not disappoint.

Luckily, when I first watched the movies, all of them had already come out, so no waiting was involved, and to make it even better The Two Towers did not disappoint but the opposite – it blew my thirteen year old mind away.

ighty warriors breaching universal boundaries to meet in battle. Cinematic universes pulling together all the characters they can cast for an all-out brawl. The gleeful indulgence of watching Freddy Krueger beat up Jason Voorhees. The ‘versus’ film has been around for over fifty years, and it doesn’t show any sign of going away. As long as arguments rage in the playground about which Avenger is strongest, there’s going to be a demand for them - which makes the versus film both an essential and very problematic part of film culture.

The versus film is a delightfully simple concept, and that’s why it’s such a lucrative and popular genre. Just the names are inspiring and evocative: Alien vs. Predator, Dracula vs. Frankenstein, Captain America: Civil War. With each character already having had a movie or two to establish their abilities and characters, fights between them become an exercise in both pure fan-service and audience investment.

“Civil War is a fabulous example because we know each character’s strengths and limitations”

Take the aforementioned Civil War as a prime example of how to make a decent versus movie. It basically exists for the eponymous intra-Avenger battle to happen around the halfway point, so it only really works because that fight is well put together. The action’s fabulous because you approximately know each character’s strengths and limitations and anticipate seeing those play out in battle. What can Iron Man do against a giant Ant-Man? Could Scarlet Witch’s powers take out a Vision that’s actually trying to fight her?

But at the heart of these extra-universal multi-man melees lies something worrying. When you flense one down to its base components, there’s really not that much to them aside from the core fight and whatever hazy justification is used to ensure the combatants want to split each other’s heads open, which makes them both easy to mess up and easy to produce.

“People flock to versus films precisely because of their evocative, powerful titles”

If the fight is unsatisfactory or – as in the disappointing Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – the surrounding film is woefully written then the whole production falls apart.

When the fight you sell the audience in your title is stopped by two people conveniently sharing the same name, you know you’ve messed up the main attraction.

However, even a pile of poorly written dreck like Batman v Superman produced record box office results in the first week of its release by dint of its name alone, and that says damning things about the versus film industry. People flock to versus films precisely because of their evocative, powerful titles, their popular characters, the promise of brutal and brilliant action.

Quality comes

second to branding and name-dropping, and if there’s a quick buck to be made jamming a bunch of famous characters together into a low-effort fight film you can bet Hollywood will do it.

Versus films have the possibility to be ridiculously awesome or absolutely terrible, and all too often there’s an economic prerogative to ensure the audience gets a shoddy, marketable product over an actual high-effort production. Pick your fights wisely, and your tickets wiser.

I know what you’re watching this Summer

“I don’t know a single LOTR nerd who doesn’t absolutely love the Gollum scenes - and I know a With yet another action-packed selection of summer blockbusters just around the corner, lot of LOTR nerds” Tilly Parry gives us her countdown of the many highs of mid-2017 for you must see

The Fellowship of the Ring had already introduced me to the amazing landscape of Middle Earth and the lovable characters when The Two Towers made it better for me by having the plotline remain perfectly balanced between the characters throughout the movie. It could be difficult to make the viewer care about this many characters at once, but the director managed to do that perfectly well in this superior sequel. Another thing that makes the film simply the best is definitely Gollum. I don’t know a single LOTR nerd who doesn’t absolutely love the Gollum scenes in the movie – and I know a lot of LOTR nerds.

The main reason why The Two Towers is the best movie out of the three and undoubtedly an amazing sequel is the Battle of Helm’s Deep. Not only was that the most epic battle I had ever seen in a movie, but certain moments from it made it excessively special, just like the beautifully scored moment when Gandalf the White appears behind enemy lines cast in an almost biblical light and charges downwards into the masses. Not to mention the amazing cinematography capturing the fighting scenes – gave me chills and made me forever fall in love with the movie. As much as I love all of the LOTR movies, The Two Towers definitely remains the best sequel ever made.

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ome say summer is the time to go outside and soak up some rays. However, with a blockbuster season this good knocking at our doors, what’s the point? Here are the top seven films from summer 2017 that I’m excited for...

7. Baywatch (May 25th) Save your eye-rolls for the multitude of sequels out this year, please: this film is aware of its ridiculousness, and is unashamedly going to capitalise on it. Dwayne Johnson is already established as the lifeguard (if you’ll excuse the tenuous metaphor) of terrible action franchises such as Fast & Furious and G.I Joe, so it makes sense for him to lead this big screen reboot. Expect daft humour and rippling muscles, and Zac Efron still trying to prove he’s funny.

6. Detroit (August 4th) Kathryn Bigelow finally returns with a new feature about the infamous Algiers Motel Incident in 1967, and with racial tensions between police and black citizens as explosive as ever, it’s sure to stir up as much controversy as her previous warcentric films. John Boyega will undoubtedly give an intense performance, but I’m also interested to see whether Will Poulter is prepared for the big leagues, previously confined to one-dimensional roles in raunchy comedies (We’re The Millers) and boring dystopias (The Maze Runner).

“Atomic Blonde sees Charlize Theron kicking ass. Again. But this time, with neon aesthetics, just because.”

5. Wonder Woman (June 2nd) For a female-led, female-directed movie about Amazonian superheroes during WWI, this film is probably a safe bet. Gal Gadot reprises the role of Diana Prince and the movie sits comfortably between Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and the new Justice League film, both of which have already raked in millions and created lots of online debate. Chris Pine also stars, but the real test will be whether the film can survive the period setting

that almost sunk Steve Rogers’ start in the Marvel universe.

4. Atomic Blonde (July 28th) Charlize Theron kicks ass. Again. This time, it’s something to do with nuclear weapons and MI6 and Russians (gosh, what a world to live in where that’s a concern!) but that won’t be relevant to the film’s appeal. Expect well-crafted fight scenes, Sofia Boutella in a physically and surprisingly multi-dimensional role – as is quickly becoming expected of her – and neon aesthetics, just because. Just go watch the trailer, if you haven’t already: you’ll thank me later.

3. Spider-Man: Homecoming (July 7th) Following his scene-stealing appearance in Captain America: Civil War, Tom Holland is looking to impress as the latest actor to don the red suit.

Though some are criticising what seems to be an overbearing RDJ appearance, I personally am excited to see what the new generation have to offer as so many of Marvel Studio’s Phase One superheroes reach their sell-by dates.

“I personally am excited to see what the new generation of MCU superheroes have to offer as the Phase One heroes reach their sell-by dates” dates”

2. Dunkirk (July 21st) Christopher Nolan bores me. War movies bore me. And, as promises to be the defining feature of the upcoming press junket of this film, Harry Styles bores me. But the new trailer released recently crafts together a range of British acting talent with scenes of real scenes of human panic and bravery, all based on the World War II disaster. Hopefully, this is the kind of intelligent and real-grit film Nolan is capable of, avoiding cliché and

melodrama in favour of truly engaging action.

1. The Dark Tower (August 4) Based on Stephen King’s fantasy series, fans have been clamouring for the film adaptation for years – and the perfect casting of Idris Elba vs. Matthew McConaughey only made the excitement build. Honestly, I don’t know how to convey in writing the kind of nerd-freakout this film deserves, promising great action balanced with powerful pathos, fantasy/sci-fi elements grounded in real-world characterisation, and the kind of epic showdown that will live on in pop-culture memory. Here’s to hoping it lives up to the hype.

The Courier

reviewsfilm.29

Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film

Lady Macbeth (15)

Golden Oldies Presents...

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hen I first heard a film called Lady Macbeth was coming out, I wasn’t that fussed about it if I’m honest. The name just suggested a re-telling of an age-old play I’ve read and studied every year since I was 15, but from Lady Macbeth’s point of view. After studying the book so many times, I think I’ve considered her view quite enough times and frankly, I thought I was Macbeth’d to death. This film was not at all like I expected.

What began as a fairly standard tale of a 19th century wife shut up indoors by her horrid husband was turned on its head into the story of one heartless woman’s willingness to do whatever necessary to get what she wants.

The film carefully drew comparisons between Lady Macbeth and its protagonist Katherine brilliantly. The similarities were subtle yet powerful, but I liked that you wouldn’t necessarily have to know the original story of Lady Macbeth in order to appreciate this film. However, it would be interesting to find out the opinion of someone who had no knowledge of Macbeth at all.

As a stand-alone story it is still just as shocking to see one woman’s total dedication lead her to such heartlessness, to the point that at times her cruel actions are so ridiculous that they’re darkly humorous.

The best and worst thing about the character of Lady Macbeth was that I was able to deeply pity and empathise with her, whilst also hating her, as is

Their Finest (12A)

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hoking back a distinct hatred of the oh-so-bright-eyed Gemma Arterton (though almost being hit by a door as she’s so overwhelmed by her surroundings, looking up and left with a giggle to think of a line for a script did indeed test the gag reflex), I tried to view Their Finest with something as closely resembling an open mind as possible.

And it was worth it. Because it was lovely.

Yes, it stuck with alarming faithfulness to the tropes we know and love from period dramas, but we lurveeeee them! And war films are supposed to be clichéd! As we learn from the scriptwriters depicted in the film though, yes, we can somewhat too clearly see the actual scriptwriters patting themselves on the back for their clever acceptance of this truth they have stuck to.

Yes, that was sarcasm, but yes, the sentiment was also sincere, which is very much like the film; Their Finest really is a bit shit, but it was also vaguely sincere. With its gentle, palatable hints of feminism and caustic comments from an embittered antihero just sweet enough for our protagonist to reluctantly fall for (spoiler alert, though if you didn’t assume it coming then… well…) it is everything one would expect.

Sometimes it’s good to have got what you expected. You don’t go to a period romance starring Gemma Arterton, Sam Claflin and Bill Nighy expecting ground-breaking originality or surprising, multi-faceted, non-type-cast characters. But maybe in this uncertain age, a bit of predictability can be a good thing, especially if what you expect is something easy and enjoyable to watch.

I would recommend this to anyone looking for a relaxing watch when feeling sentimental (watch the trailer for a few examples of the truly grim over-emotional one-liners). Or for anyone who loves to hate Arterton, which is made particularly easy here, as she puts on a wonderfully horrendous Welsh accent.

More like this: The Imitation Game (2014) Helena Buchanan

Akira Kurosawa’s

the age-old conundrum with Lady Macbeth - is she a character to be despised or heavily sympathised with? Is she outright evil or just a product of her environment? Director William Oldroyd managed to raise all these questions with Katherine too, as repetitive shots throughout the film paint a life of dreadful monotony for the character. This means you are questioning her for the entire film; nothing is certain.

Some part of you watches her commit these completely heartless acts and wonders if you wouldn’t maybe do the same in her shoes. There was some part of me that admired her bold character in a society so against her and out to ruin her, and perhaps the only true way out of that is to ruin herself.

I did have one big issue with the film. The man Katherine falls in love with initially attempts to rape her. This is somehow made completely okay by the fact she chooses to kiss him herself a few

Mindhorn (15)

B

ritish TV in the 80s was a strange place, with Top of the Pops and cheese-filled detective shows dominating the small screen (a shame these two never collaborated!).

Still, that was a long time ago and the world has moved on.

Richard Thorncroft, sadly, has not. Thorncroft (Julian Barrett) is an aging, balding actor trying desperately to revive his career after nearly 30 years in obscurity. The once-drug abusing, womanizing, leading man of Isle of Wight cop show Mindhorn is now forced to make a living advertising orthopaedic socks and gastric belts to those old enough to remember him. While Thorncroft struggles, a murder has taken place on the Isle of Wight, and the killer calling himself ‘The Kestrel’ will speak to only one man: the legendary detective Mindhorn.

Could this be Thorncroft’s second chance at fame?

Mindhorn comes to us from the minds of some of the most esteemed talent in British cinema both in front of the camera with cameos from Simon Callow and Kenneth Branagh, and behind it, in the form of producers Steve Coogan and, bizarrely, Ridley Scott. However, the film’s laugh ratio is very uneven, with the best moments coming in the second half in conversations between Thorncroft and his old nemesis Clive (Simon Farnaby).

Without these scenes and some moments in the police station early on, the film does fall flat at times when it places Barrett in isolation when he clearly works best bouncing off others; the same binary that made the seminal Mighty Boosh a success. It should also be noted that the film, like many other indie films, will have only a limited cinematic release and it will be already on Netflix by the time of printing. The nature of screening platforms like these, where absurd indie comedies can find their home, may have factored in to the thinking behind this film.

Overall then, a fine contribution to the British comedy canon, although not one I will revisit often.

More like this: Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (2013) Joe Holloran

seconds later, but without consent sexual assault is still sexual assault, regardless of if someone then proceeds to give said consent.

I’d like to give a final mention to the only one I thought of as a sincerely good character in the film - Anna. She is Katherine’s maid, who is heavily discriminated against for both her race and gender. She’s a relatively silent character, seeing all but never speaking and treated awfully for doing absolutely nothing wrong.

This film was nothing like I expected it to be, it completely blurs the lines between good and evil and - much like Lady Macbeth herself - presents you with a dark but entrancing character you love to hate.

More like this: Macbeth (2015) Carys Rose Thomas

A Dog’s Purpose (PG)

Rashomon With Tyneside Cinema turning 80 this year, they have been celebrating many luminaires. This time it was the turn of Akira Kurosawa. Christopher Wilkison heads to see a film often viewed as one of the best of all-time.

M

ysterious things happen in the forest.

A woman raped, a samurai murdered, and a bandit (the most vicious in the county) found in possession of their belongings.

Things are never as they seem underneath the leaves, sat by the shaded moss.

It is almost too easy to name a film as groundbreaking or era-defining. They are terms so frequently passed around they’ve sort of lost their meaning. But back in the early 1950s when the ground wasn’t in a permanent state of being broken, Japanese cinema (emerging anxiously from the desolation of the Second World War) released a film which genuinely reinvented cinematic convention. The film was called Rashomon, and the director was called Akira Kurosawa. You may not have heard of it, but it was this film that redefined the idea of the unreliable narrator, and brought a new way of storytelling that is seen from Hero all the way to It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

“It beautifully weaves different elements of the truth into each story”

A

Dog’s Purpose is a very feel-good film, despite making you cry every ten minutes.

Based on the novel by W. Bruce Cameron, the film follows a dog (voiced by Josh Gad) throughout his various lives as he seeks to discover the purpose of his very existence, eventually concluding that it is by man’s side and making people happy that he feels most alive.

Opening with the line “What is the meaning of life?”, the overarching theme of the film is made clear – if the title didn’t already make it obvious.

The various lives and breeds which the protagonist dog goes through (including, but not limited to: a Red Retriever, a German Shepherd and a Corgi) each convey something new about the reality of dog ownership, and additionally the abuse which dogs often suffer in the hands of the wrong owners. With one incarnation lovingly cared for until the end of its days, another forced to live outside chained to a tree all its life until it is abandoned, and another fattened up on the wrong diet of pizza and ice cream, it’s a rollercoaster of emotions and you can’t help but let the tears fall.

In terms of acting and cinematography, the film can’t really be faulted, though I did take issue with the lack of both humour and storyline.

My love of dogs is undoubtedly reinforced by this film, and seeing classical canine behaviours exhibited on-screen made me chuckle, but it is such a huge cliché of a film that I feel only dog lovers like myself could enjoy it.

Overall, it’s very basic, plays with emotions, and though very raw and revealing about the dire situations some dogs find themselves in (which did, indeed, make me want to instantly adopt every shelter dog ever), it doesn’t really bring anything new to the genre. It could almost be called Marley and Me 2.0. Despite this, it’s very cute, humbling and thoroughly enjoyable, with many cute dogs for you to gaze at. Just make sure to bring tissues.

More like this: Turner and Hooch (1989) Georgina Howlett

The film starts on a rain-drenched day, two men sit confused and contemplative in the gutted innards of an old temple. In from the rain someone comes, and to him a story is told of 3 days earlier when, whilst chopping wood in the forest, one of the men finds a dead body. Called to witness, the two men recount their last memories of the dead man and his wife, and witness themselves the testimony of three others: a bandit, the wife, and a spiritual medium channelling the consciousness of the dead man.

It is from this point onwards that the film introduces what it is known for. By beautifully weaving different elements of the truth into each story, Kurosawa explores how we see things only because we want to see them, and, more importantly, that this is the case with everyone. How can we believe something when it has passed through the distortions of the human brain, where motive, ideal, emotion and truth can clash so magnificently yet so catastrophically?

Kurosawa of course plays with this idea of, shall we say, ‘alternative facts’, in ingenious ways: the camera work is at times phenomenal. But what is more important is the idea itself, and because of that I feel this film will be watched, and studied, for a very long time indeed.

30.gaming

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Gaming Editors: Jordan Oloman, Errol Kerr and Jared Moore

Top 5: Games of 2016-2017

Credit: Nintendo

Sam Blackburn catalogues the fine-ass year we’ve been having as gamers 5: Hitman Want to know how to make an amazing stealth game? Just look at the entirety of the first series of the latest Hitman game. I didn’t mind Hitman Absolution’s story focused, slightly more linear gameplay, but I do feel that the more open approach the latest Hitman game has is brilliant. The feature of opportunities giving the player ideas on how to approach each mission is a fantastic incentive to make people play each level multiple times. Not to mention, it’s got some incredibly large levels worth exploring just to see what you can find.

2: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Weekly review:Persona 5 Ex-Gaming Ed Michael Hicks takes a semester long Erasmus trip back to Japan

I

remember when Persona 5 was announced. I was but a swaddled fresher, jumping for joy in the cold chill of a Newcastle winter spent in a cold room in St. Mary’s College. The sequel to my favourite game ever was finally happening, and it would be coming for PS3 for Winter 2014.

Obviously, some time has since passed and, nearing the end of my masters three and a half years later, Persona 5 is finally here. So was the wait for the next entry in Atlus’ cult RPG series worth it? It absolutely was. Not only did Persona 5 by some miracle meet three and a half year of fanboy hype, it somehow managed to exceed it.

For the uninitiated, Persona is a mix of dungeoncrawling RPG and life sim-esque visual novel. Past games have seen you balance saving the world by night with living a normal life by day. A normal day involves getting the train to school, sitting through boring lessons or doing exams and spending your free time either hanging out with friends, studying, going to that nice café that just opened or laying the smackdown on some supernatural evil; only to go to bed and do it all again the next day. You

still play as a Japanese high-school student, but the twist this time is you’ve been placed in the custody of a family friend in the big city after an incident in your sleepy hometown landed you with an assault charge. Before long, you awaken to mysterious powers and assume the mantle of Joker, the virtuous leader of the Phantom Thieves; fighters of systemic injustice and corruption everywhere.

“Imagine a more in-depth, tactical Pokemon...”

The plot is the main draw here, and as such, I’ll say no more. All I will say is that, despite the less-grounded story and setting of its predecessor, Persona 5 still manages to be deeply involving and moving. The writing and voice acting are some of the best in the series to date, and the pacing is far smoother than any previous entry in the series.

The Phantom Thieves collective is all incredibly well written and loveable, the sense of camaraderie being borderline infectious. It’s cliché, but the gang truly does feel like a group of friends; their stories as hilarious as they are, at times, heart-breaking.

The dungeons have been vastly improved this time round. Gone are the randomly generated affairs of the past games, eschewed in favour of more complex, handcrafted “Palaces”, all of which are filled to the brim with personality, and are a joy to play through. Battles are still turn-based but are highly involving and never stop being fun.

Imagine a more in-depth, more tactical Pokémon but you control Thor and a whole host of other mythological creatures and deities instead of Pikachu. Elements from older games, such as guns and enemy negotiations, make a welcome return.

To round off the package, the presentation on display is some of the best I have ever seen. The world boasts some bright and beautiful celshading, and everything just looks so stylish. I can’t remember the last time I was impressed by menus.

Longtime series composer Shoji Meguro brings his A game here, and the mix of acid jazz, J-pop and rock-inspired tracks will have to keep you listening years after. I loved every second of my hundredhour long journey with Persona 5, and I would more than happily do it all over again.

I must admit, I have surprised myself by placing this game so low, but in all honesty, I think this game is fantastic. Bar the weapon durability, which I’m not going to touch on, this game is near enough perfect. With how stale open world games have been lately (I’m looking at you Ghost Recon Wildlands), it’s been great to see Nintendo come a long and completely rewrite the rules on how to make a good one in the form of Breath of the Wild.

No, this isn’t your typical Zelda game, but it’s going to be one of the grandest adventures you’ll ever experience in gaming.

3: Yooka Laylee After being slated by many journalists, I am happy to be the brave person to sing this games praises. Sure, the camera could be improved a fair bit, but this is exactly everything I ever expected in a 3D platform made by a team consisting of ex-Rare developers. It’s a nice mix of both Banjo Kazooie and Banjo Tooie in the modern generation of games, what more can you ask for?

Colourful worlds, lots of stuff to collect and some great humour is what makes Yooka Laylee my favourite game so far in 2017!

2: XCOM 2 I was excited to see this game come to the PS4 in August of last year, after it being a PC exclusive for over half a year. XCOM 2 in a nutshell is on here for the fact that it stole so many hours away from my life last winter. It’s not the kind of game with an emotionally driven story or one that innovates massively, but it’s one which has so much depth and an incredible amount of stuff to do. I enjoyed customising my troops, to only watch them be wasted by the sectoid scum, only to then build super soldiers with psychic powers to destroy the aliens, once and for all.

1: Dark Souls 3 Not only is Dark Souls 3 my favourite game of the past year, but it’s possibly my favourite game of all time. After our favourite sub editor Jared used his charm to convince me to buy it at GAME, I have never looked back since. A fantastic RPG set in a grim fantasy world, with a real challenge the whole way through and the blueprint in how to do game design right. Dark Souls is the one game I have went back to repeatedly since picking it up and I see myself still playing it in years to come.

Credit: Firaxis Games

Credit: Atlus

Cue Millenium Fal-Con This week Jack Coles willingly leaves this Rebel ripoff to the jaws of the Sarlacc pit

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he original Star Wars: Battlefront and its sequel were some of the most fun games of their time. When a new Battlefront from DICE, the makers of the Battlefield franchise, was announced, the hype was understandably massive.

However, DICE’s reboot failed to deliver very much at all. Critics and fans soon criticised the game’s lack of content, especially when considering the price. Originally retailing at a hefty enough £49.99, EA then asked players to part with another £39.99 for a season pass entitling them to all future DLC. My heart goes out to any souls who were mind-tricked into buying Battlefront at full price.

The extra maps did finally provide gamers with a satisfactory amount of game, but all of it should have been there in the first place.

“...the sequel will be everything people hoped for...”

Whilst Battlefront came out in November 2015, the final DLC provided with the season pass was not released until December last year. EA somehow managed to deceive players into buying half a game, then made them pay again and wait over a year for the other half.

Fair enough, the game they actually made is very good. The gameplay is fun and the graphics are gorgeous (the ice caves on Hoth are particularly stunning). It would just be nice if DICE had spent a little less time on the looks and a little more on everything else.

Offline players suffered even worse, as the base game came with a whopping total of (wait for it) four maps to battle on. The five missions, which are meant to take the place of a campaign, can be completed in about twenty minutes and lack any kind of replay value. Instead they seem to serve as DICE’s excuse for not bothering to think up a story.

Gamers with friends have yet more reason to feel disappointed, as the split-screen offerings feel

almost like an afterthought. Common sense would surely dictate that if extra maps have been made and paid for, then players could play on them however they please. But no! Common sense is wrong, as all DLC maps are only available to play online. Oh well, at least players get to use the new heroes! Those obscure heroes like Dengar, scraped from the very bottom of the Star Wars barrel.

Although maybe we should just be grateful that DICE took the time to include split-screen at all, unlike 343 Industries who completely ruined Halo 5 by omitting it completely.

Star Wars: Battlefront 2 will be released on 17th November. From the looks of it, the sequel will be everything people hoped for in the first. Trailers have promised battles ‘across all eras’ - clones and droids are back on the Battlefront, along with the new trilogy’s First Order. Shame it wasn’t sooner.

With pre-order prices starting at a substantial £59.99 and an inevitable season pass likely costing about the same, it feels like DICE have simply jumped ship rather than put in a little graft to fix the mess they made. Still, gamers will undoubtedly buy the sequel in their millions.

The developers must be strong with the force, as they’re about to get away with one of the biggest cons in the galaxy.

Credit: EA DICE

The Courier

gaming.31

Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming

Your Gaming Editors reminisce one last time over their year of endless editing

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Errol Kerr

ou know, I’ve looked back on the past year, and what’s been really memorable has been the videogaming scene. I mean, other than my masters studies, the quadrillion extra-curricular things that I do, and the Courier, it turns out the best memories I have of the past nine or so months are the games I’ve played and the work that Jordan, Jared and I have put into the Gaming section.

If the academic year of 2016-2017 has done anything, it’s provided me with endless ways to throw myself out of my comfort zone, and for once, I’m not on about the bloody politics. Games such as Outlast 2 and Resident Evil 7 have not only been visually stunning, but some of the best horror experiences that I’ve laid my hands on. The Nintendo Switch has thrown me into financial turmoil, and games such as XCOM 2 and PREY (which you guys need to get) have eaten away at my time.

I’ve been glued to my Xbox One and my laptop (sadly, it’s all I’ve got to play games on) and whilst some games have taken a while to really come into their own - and I’m still waiting on you, Mass Effect: Andromeda - I’ve had a wonderful time experiencing them all.

It’s been this section that’s brought it all together.

We’ve had such a consistent and dedicated team of writers providing us with some of the best writing I’ve seen in my four years at Newcastle University, and I can’t thank you enough. Working alongside Jordan and Jared, who are undeniably some of the most talented people I know, we’ve learned to use more than the WASD keys, and even managed to land runner-up Section of the Year!

You’re not getting rid of me any time soon, but this year with the Gaming crew has easily been one of the best, and definitely what’s held my academic year together. Now I’ve said all that soppy crap, you’ll probably find me playing PREY...

Jordan Oloman

I

t’s been a pretty awesome academic year for those cut from the controller cloth. Whilst the world burned the games industry decided that we needed some resurgent joy in our lives. From the inspired, portable wunderkind that is Nintendo’s Switch, to quite possibly one of the greatest games of all time in Uncharted 4, and even the incredibly recent but excellent sci-fi shooter Prey, we’ve been treated to a host of titles that have expanded the industry and stole countless hours from my downtime.

I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to oversee this section of the fine paper during these proceedings, nurturing our great writers and having the pleasure to lay up the content and images each week. All of this wouldn’t be possible without you guys, so I want to dedicate this last issue to you all. Readers, writers, editors across the paper and beyond, your passion and support is inspiring and has made this experience one of the best responsibilities I’ve ever had to manage.

From the day I attended the writers meeting in Year 2 and nervously asked for an article I’ve been smitten with this paper, and it has led to many great friends, opportunities and moments that will stay with me forever. Choosing to write for The Courier has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and completely turned my university experience around. I only hope that budding writers in the future continue to flock to this incredible creative outlet with their opinions and flair that make it ohso-special. It’s been an absolute pleasure working with Jared, Errol and the wider team to make this paper come to life, and I’ll be sure to keep reading.

I’m off for some big bags of hexagons in the sun with the lads. Sayonara!

I

Jared Moore

t has been an absolute joy to work as a sub-editor for the gaming section this year, partly due to my two fantastic colleagues, partly due to our amazing writers and readership, but also, partly because of all the fantastic content we’ve been able to cover in our time at the Courier.

A big shout out to the horror genre over the past 12 months. Headlining this sector we’ve seen titles like Resident Evil: Biohazard and Outlast 2 hit the market, both generating a huge amount of coverage and reminding me how much I appreciate the pause button.

I don’t think we can mention this past year without talking about Nintendo. In the build up to Switch launch I feared for Nintendo, a large part of me wondering whether their latest hybrid console would knock them back instead of driving them forward within the industry. Whilst I still believe the console needs a great deal more content to be judged in its fullest, I think Nintendo have done a fantastic job since launch, the console has sold relatively well and that’s a credit to their marketing as much as it is the console its self. I’m excited to see where Nintendo take the Switch over the next year and hope to see many more indie titles appearing on the platform.

I’d also like to commend PlayStation for their fantastic work with the PSVR. I think at the moment there’s a bit of an absence of content for the three-hundred and fifty pound headset but the fact that they have sold over 915,000 units is an achievement in its self. Wrapping up I’d like to share with you three games that I think everyone should play through before the end of the year.

Many of you will likely have already done so, but for those who haven’t my recommendations are – Inside, The Beginner’s Guide and Mr. Shifty.

Beauty is deep within in the eye of the Beholder Gaming regular Jack Coles is Judge, Jury and Executioner in this Gritty landlord sim

E

ver wanted to play a game that combines Papers Please with The Sims, point-andclick adventure games, highly divergent storylines, and shadow puppets? Beholder is a recently released indie game that revolves around Carl Stein, a nosy landlord that spies on his tenants and files reports on them for cash.

Or spies on his tenants and blackmails them for cash. Or steals their stuff for cash. Or gets them arrested and appropriates their belongings for cash…

The game’s main strength is building a coherent world while the governmental influence looms overhead like Beijing smog. This influence is felt everywhere, from the cold reporting system, to the directives that rail out every day to remind you that it is now illegal to drink rum or cry.

Hearing the phone ring is chilling, as it’s usually the government telling you that something is going wrong, or will go wrong, or has gone wrong, and now you’re getting fined. It’s all so bleak and faceless that the actual people you rent rooms to seem more lifelike, despite being black shadows that speak via text box.

What I did notice about this game is that it has a real stiffy for Papers, Please. While setting

similarities can be forgiven, Beholder trips over itself to praise Papers; with the most glaring example being a border official that offers you a chance to get out of the country as long as you provide the documents (and maybe some money), while an audit looms overhead.

“Overall, for all its flaws, Beholder is an intriguing little game that suffers from a few issues, but doesn’t succumb to them” This could be a knowing homage to a game that very obviously influenced the development, or it could be a case of the developers being unable to think of an alternative ending (or both). Having said that, it manages to characterise the family members much better than Papers, Please could: you can actually talk to them, carry out their wishes, and even report them to the authorities.

(Not my proudest moment.)

Another issue is that there is a tendency for some deaths to be both unforeseeable and arbitrary.

While some random deaths can be excused if they have proper context, other deaths can happen without much warning or input on our behalf. The one that annoyed me the most was when I clicked on a dialogue tree which prompted me to tell a librarian that I used to destroy books. If you have enough reputation, you can convince her to forgive you; if you don’t (and I didn’t because I had just bought a load of cameras), she pulls out a blowpipe and shoots you in the face with it. No warning, no QTE to disarm her, no option to say “actually, I was lying”. Clicking on dialogue trees can be deadly.

My final gripe with this game is that although the writing itself is solid, there are more spelling errors than one should expect, and the narrator has a very strange accent. It sounds normal, but many of the pronunciations have been switched around, like text-to-speech software developed by a person that has never heard spoken English. Having said that, I could be very close with that description, as most of the developers seemed to be eastern European.

So, no offence meant.

Overall, for all its flaws, Beholder is an intriguing little game that suffers from a few issues, but doesn’t succumb to them. Worth trying.

Credit: Warm Lamp Games

Top 5: Upcoming Games

Credit: Naughty Dog

Editorial: A Year in Courier Gaming

Richard Liddle delves into thedarkofthefutureforsome gaming gems 5: Death Stranding - PS4 Death Stranding is veteran developer and Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima’s first new title since the lengthy saga of his departure from Konami, and there’s plenty of reason to be excited about it.

While so far all we’ve seen of the game itself are two fairly bizarre trailers, Kojima has said that he aims to create a new genre of quasi-action game, and there are some big names working alongside him on the project, including actors Mads Mikkelsen and Norman Reedus and director Guillermo del Toro.

4: Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night - PC/PS4/PSVita/XboxOne/Switch Another title from an ex-Konami developer, Bloodstained is a spiritual successor to the Castlevania games being headed by Koji Igarashi, the man behind some of the series’ most acclaimed entries. Smashing its original Kickstarter goal of $500,000 with an enormous fund of $5.5 million, Bloodstained follows the journey of Miriam - a young girl whose body is being turned into crystal by a curse - as she journeys through an enormous, demon filled castle.

3: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Switch The original Xenoblade Chronicles was one of the finest RPGs to grace the Wii, and any other console for that matter. Blending together an epic story, a superb battle system and a huge and unique game world, it became an instant classic, and from what Monolith Soft have revealed so far its sequel looks to be using the increased power of the Switch to create an even more stunning world to traverse. It’s unclear as of yet whether it’s a direct sequel or not, with no mention of Shulk and co. in the first trailer, but no doubt we’ll find out more during Nintendo’s E3 showings.

2: Star Wars Battlefront 2 - PC/ PS4/Xbox-One With the first Battlefront being criticised pretty much across the board for its lack of content, particularly on the single player side, DICE seems to have gone all-out for its sequel. The reveal trailer alone has promised a single player campaign filling in the gap between episodes 6 and 7, a multiplayer mode featuring characters and settings from the original, prequel and modern films, and to top it all off the return of space battles. With all that, it looks like it’s going to be light years ahead of its predecessor.

1: The Last of Us Part 2 - PS4 Easily one of the best games of the last generation, The Last of Us captivated millions with its superb story and world. Set five years later, Part 2 continues Joel and Ellie’s story, but this time with Ellie at the forefront as the player character. Many fans have been sceptical about a sequel, with fears that it would be arbitrary or tacked on, but writer Neil Druckmann has reassured that it’s a new story worth telling and contrasts the original’s theme of love with an overarching focus on hate, with Ellie embarking on a quest for revenge. One thing’s for certain: if Part 2 can replicate the success of the original, we’re in for one hell of a good game.

Credit: Kojima Productions

32. science&technology

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Science Editors: Matthew Byrne, Natalie Farmer & Ciara Ritson-Courtney

Top 3 this year: Elena Trayanova looks into the top 3 scientific breakthroughs of the year

1

W

hen it comes to space and other planets in the universe, there’s been one question that has forever been bothering the more curious of us and that question is “are we alone in the universe?”

While there still isn’t any proof that life outside our planet Earth exists, scientists are getting further with their research and are now significantly closer to discovering extraterrestrial life. In February this year, NASA announced that space scientists have discovered seven earth-sized planets orbiting a single star in the constellation Aquarius. The fact that they are located significantly close to Earth makes this information exciting and relevant to us but the most interesting thing about this discovery is another fact. It has been confirmed that three of the planets in that system are located in the ‘habitable zone’ and therefore are likely to have liquid water which makes their being conductive to life more promising. Even though further explorations are yet to be conducted, scientists believe that this discovery could be of extreme significance to their endeavour to find habitable environments. With deep explorations and a little hope this could possibly be the first step to satisfying our unbounded curiosity.

2

O

ne of the first official scientific announcements for this academic year as of September 2016 has great news for people like me who happen to be full-time panda admirers.

According to the International Union for Conservation of Nature revealed that the giant panda is no longer classified as an endangered species but is now rather just labelled as ‘vulnerable’. We have the Chinese government to thank for this great news as their efforts to protect the habitat have evidently paid off as they have resulted in numbers of giant pandas in the wild rising by 17 percent.

This awesome news is not only a reason to celebrate but is also very encouraging. It shows that with enough enthusiasm and united efforts, a lot more endanger species could be saved and the work towards this progress should not stop because of this happy announcement but rather the opposite. The IUCN has stated that climate change is putting the panda’s bamboo habitat in danger and that could result in turning the statistics around and getting back to the starting point in the future. This shows that actions must be taken in order to save the rest of the endangered animals and keep t h e pandas safe.

3

B

inge drinking is a serious problem that we as university students observe on an almost daily basis within and outside of our friends group –it’s there on every single house party,night out and both before and after exams. Some people seem to have turned it into a coping mechanism and others, into a lifestyle.

While a lot of people manage to get out of the drinking cycle, there are still some who let it progress into severe alcoholism and therefore, the not-so-pretty statistics. In the United Kingdom, 38 percent of men and 29 percent of women are said to consume excessive amounts of alcohol regularly. This has resulted in more than six thousand deaths caused by alcoholism in one year. Luckily, a recent discovery by researchers from the UT Southwestern Medical Centre could be a key in overcoming binge drinking and eventually alcoholism. After a lot of experiments on mice they have managed to develop a drug that could regulate alcohol consumption and are currently working on creating a pill that would be safe for people to take as well as effective. Hopefully, this newly developed method could take us a step closer to overcoming one of the main public health problems in the world.

The elephant in the room Science Editor Natalie Farmer sinks her teeth into the latest trend in the food industry: making animal products without the animals - and worry not, it doesn’t just stop at meat

M

aybe it’s because of their gentle nature; maybe it’s because they’re so majestic, or maybe it’s because we’ve all seen Youtube videos of their babies gallivanting around like Christmas came early – but everyone loves elephants. They’re cute, they’re mellow, and I’m sure I’m not the only one to admit that if it were feasible (and not, y’know, cruel) then I would keep one as a pet. But I can’t – and not just because my Jesmond back garden is barely big enough for me and my housemates, never mind a giant grey mammal. No, there’s a much bigger, more important reason, and it starts with a P.

“The Great Elephant Census counted over 350,000 elephants across 18 African countries”

Poaching. We all know about it, perhaps some more than others, but I don’t think the extent of the damage it has caused is particularly well understood across the general population. The Great Elephant Census, an ambitious project funded entirely by Microsoft’s Paul Allen, counted over 350,000 elephants across 18 African countries.

This was done by 286 members of staff (including those from wildlife departments, those from charities, and scientists) flying planes across the borders, where they quite literally counted the elephants that they saw, estimating that they found 93% of the total number in these countries.

What is truly shocking is the decline that the census revealed. Between 2007 and 2014, we have lost an appalling 144,000 savanna elephants (they’re the ones with the big ears, if that helps), which amounts to just under one-third of the total population. Despite the fact that 84% of these kind creatures live in protected areas, numbers continue to decline, with the current rate being eight per cent per year. This means that the poor things are being killed off faster than they are being born; fundamentally, if this continues, then they will join

the growing list of animals that are now extinct.

“Between 2007 and 2014, we have lost an appalling 144,000 savanna elephants, which amounts to just under onethird of the total population” Although poaching has been identified as the primary reason for this drop, there are many factors at play, including (but not limited to) habitat loss, mining and conflict. Mike Chase, principal investigator of the census and founder of Elephants Without Borders, claims that the human population in the countries studied is set to double by 2050, reducing the amount of space that elephants have to roam. “We need to give them the space and freedom of Africa,” he says.

“If we have any hope of fixing this immense problem and saving these poor creatures, changes need to be implemented on a huge level” However, with 98% of female elephants now being born without tusks in some areas – a quirk of evolution, showing that the mammals are adapting to evade being poached for ivory – it cannot be denied that poaching is still a huge problem. Tuskless elephants cannot dig for food and water in the way that those with tusks can.

Tusks are also used in battle, both against other elephants and potential predators, and can be used to

attract a mate. So, although the elephants are evolving, it is certainly not ideal and their tremendous tusks have proven to be both a blessing and a curse.

If we have any hope of fixing this immense problem and saving these poor creatures, changes need to be implemented on a huge level. This involves reducing the large demand for ivory across Asia and eventually stopping the illegal trading of elephant products. Furthermore, the WWF works to ease human-elephant conflict by protecting local crops and property from elephants. This involves spreading chili or tobacco to deter them and creating alternative water sources for them to go to.

As far as solutions go, there definitely isn’t a simple one in this scenario. I think that we can all agree that elephants are worth the effort; just imagine a world where children learn about these majestic mammals as a species of the past. It’s unthinkable.

Although collectively, Newcastle students probably can’t end global ivory trading (but hey, I’m not ruling it out; they say we’re capable of anything, right?), any small contribution to charities like the WWF can help. It’s in times like these that humans need to band together and work towards a common goal. The eter-

nal optimist inside of me says that yes, we were the ones that broke it – but we can be the ones that fix it, too.

Unpleasant Pharmaceuticals Gaming Editor Errol Kerr takes a jab at covered up clinical trials

A

s it stands, pharmaceutical companies are the largest funder of clinical trials in the United States and globally – and according to politicians, they’re as routine about withholding information as I am at sending in articles late – which is actually kind of impressive. (Three in a week! I think it’s a record for me…) Back in 2014, the UK’s Public Accounts Committee noted that around 50% of trial results that exist in regards to medicine that is available on the market are not subject to independent public scrutiny. The question is – why?

Clinical trials are designed to prove safety and efficacy of treatment methods and materials. The creation of new drugs is ridiculously inefficient, with substantial amounts of cash spent on each new drug and its trials. Most of those fail anyway, so the few that do work – whatever their side effects – they’ll naturally want to get out onto the market, even if those side effects aren’t necessarily, well, worth taking the drug for. We’ve all heard that should the contraceptive pill have turned up now instead of the 1950s, it’d have never passed current trials. So it makes you wonder what on Earth we’ve got in current trials that’s supposedly being hidden by large pharmaceutical corporations.

“The creation of new drugs is ridiculously inefficient, with substantial amounts of cash spent on each new drug and its trials.”

The inner sceptic and hater of pharmaceutical corporations, and to be fair, most large corporate entities within me – which is basically, most of me – would argue that this withholding of information leads patients – and medical professionals – to make decisions in regards to treatment of themselves, their loved ones or their patients that are technically uninformed in comparison, which would arguably lead to greater sales of certain drugs

which might be more harmful than anticipated.

Transparency over clinical trials is key for patients, one would argue, to make informed decisions about their treatment, being aware of possible side effects and overall effectiveness of a drug. One would normally argue that “Big Pharma” – groups such as GlaxoSmithKline, AstraZeneca and other pharmaceutical giants – would consider this entirely misleading, whereas sceptics would consider them to be, again, putting profit before treating patients.

“Transparency over clinical trials is key for patients, one would argue, to make informed decisions about their treatment”

In spite of this, you have to think: if all we focused on were side effects, how much treatment would we actually want to take? If we knew every single nitty-gritty detail of every single treatment o n the market, would

patients be less likely to take those treatments?

Hell, I didn’t realise that the amount of paracetamol and ibuprofen I take on a daily basis is probably ruining my liver and heart more than my prior alcohol and smoking habits, but naturally for me, benefits are larger than long-term drawbacks.

Considering that they’re funding the trials, then selling the drugs themselves, you can already see a conflict of interests. They *want* drugs to work so they can sell them, rather than wanting drugs to work so they can cure individuals.

Considering that developing a single new drug can cost millions or tens of millions, I can completely understand their wanting to withhold results in order to keep making profits so they can keep making drugs, even if I don’t agree with it.

Mind you, it makes you wonder, at what cost?

This again boils down to money and humanity, profit and production over the value of human life. Seems like some things just don’t change, and I can never seem to avoid talking about politics.

Go figure.

The Courier

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Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/science

You see me rollin’, you hatin’

Tom Atkinson lets off some fumes and tells us why diesel isn’t going to save the world

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hh. The Diesel car. Once heralded as the next big thing in emissions control, now vilified as the cause of our emission woes.

Who is to blame? It’s a compound issue. Government gave subsidies and investment, car manufacturers disproportionately pushed these vehicles on to members of the public who wouldn’t benefit. The net result is more Diesel cars on our road than ever. According to ACEA, the European Automotive Manufacturers Association, the percentage of Diesel cars making up new passenger cars in the UK in 2016 was a whopping 47.7%. It’s been steadily rising since 1999 when it was 13.8%. So, with all these new Diesel cars on Britain’s streets what’s the problem?

“There is more particulate matter, made up from compounds like Diesel soot and ash particulates” Diesel cars have a unique emission ‘fingerprint’.

It’s different from a typical spark-ignition engine (petrol and most alternative fuels) in that there is more particulate matter, made up from compounds like Diesel soot and ash particulates. This can be released as either individual particles or chains, most is in the sub-micrometre range. Hence, it is easy to get deep into the lungs and cause a reduction in lung capacity. Particulate matter may also be carcinogenic (cancer-causing) and if it is lodged in the lung tissue problems may result. Another aggravating issue is the difference in the emissions based on factors such as temperature. When the engine is cold,

more particulates are produced as the cold engine block draws heat from the combustion process and prevents the complete burning of fuel. This is a major concern in Britain’s towns and cities where most drivers will be making short trips where the engine doesn’t have time to warm up fully.

“But wait!” I hear you cry, “what about Diesel Particulate Filters!?” Well, yes. They are a thing. DPFs are designed to filter out this particulate matter and modern ones are surprisingly effective, they run at nearly 90% efficiency. Still, there’s 10% of particulate emissions leaking out which adds up with the volume of Diesel cars on our roads. DPFs come with their own problems too. Users of Diesel cars in cities where they make only short trips at low speed will find the filters clog very quickly, as the process of ‘regeneration’ (i.e. burning the particulate into ash) requires high exhaust temperatures, something which is achieved only at sustained high engine speeds in most cars. Worse still, people sometimes remove them either to save money rather than replacing a clogged filter or under the belief the filters reduce efficiency. Figures given to the Guardian newspaper by the Department for Transport in April 2016 indicate that since a new rule requiring a visual inspection to be made that a DPF is in place implemented in 2014 1,188 vehicles had been failed because of it. The true figure is likely larger as some people remove only the innards leaving a convincing bit of metal in its place.

“Diesel cars emit much less CO2 than spark-ignition cars and so it’s understandable that government would want to prioritise this” This doesn’t account for the other emissions either. In the noughties, successive governments were obsessed with CO2 emissions, it was the buzzword of the time. Diesel cars emit much less CO2 than spark-ignition cars and so it’s understandable that government would want to prioritise this. Unfortunately, Diesel cars also pro-

Apocalypse now

Jack Coles gives his advice on how to survive the unlikely event of a nuclear apocalypse - paper towels at the ready!

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’m going to say this right now; in the event of nuclear warfare, those of us currently living in Newcastle are probably going to get vapourised by a bomb. However, this would make a very short article, so let’s assume Sunderland gets bombed instead.

The first thing to do with a nuclear apocalypse is to run the taps with the plugholes closed. This should provide a suitable amount of drinking water before the utilities are shut off; bottle up what you can using glasses or bowls, and cover with clingfilm.

While those taps are running, make sure that all your curtains are closed; if there was a window open in that room, do not go in, just close the door and make sure you never go in there again.

The second thing to do is sort out your food supplies.

You’ll want to survive at least two weeks before even thinking of venturing outside.

Prioritise eating things in the fridge or freezer, as these will go off sooner. Uncooked meat is effectively worthless, as cooking it on an open fire in your home is several layers of stupid; uncooked eggs are perfectly fine, as salmonella occurs in only 0.012% of eggs.

In terms of radiation dosage, exposure will reduce itself over time, and distance will also limit your exposure. If you figure out your distance from

the nearest nuclear blast, and the time since that blast, you can figure out how long you can stay outside for.

If the value is above 10,000, going outside will kill you in an hour, as 10,000mGy of radiation is enough to kill anyone. For comparison, 20mGy is the recommended maximum of radiation to receive over the course of one year.

When venturing outside, breathing in nuclear fallout or getting it in your eyes can be deadly. If you don’t have military rebreather masks, you can make do by wrapping paper towels around your nose and mouth, and wearing eye protection. Dispose of your contaminated clothes (and paper towels) afterwards.

Finally, I suppose I should mention treating radiation sickness. People with acute radiation sickness will have vomiting and diarrhoea after exposure. If it takes four weeks for symptoms to appear, then give them water and potassium iodide, and they should survive.

If they have haemorrhaging, hair loss, rashes and fevers, then they will likely die after a month.

All you can do is make them comfortable – or take them to a specialist.

duce much more NOX (Nitrogen Oxides), around 20% more.

NOX compounds are ozone damaging and contribute to acid rain as well as lung tissue d am -

a g e .

New technology goes a long way to solving these issues. Various elements can be added to Diesel engines to reduce NOX and other emissions.

However, per the SMMT (the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders) the average age of the UK car on the road in 2015 was 7.8 years. People hold onto their cars for a long time, and the new technology just isn’t in them. Additionally, the technology doesn’t solve the issue either. It just alleviates it somewhat. It’s probably better to avoid Diesel for now until better solutions are more widely available. Of course, this doesn’t solve issues in commercial transport and shipping where Diesel will reign king for long to come. This is because Diesel engines have a higher potential torque output than others allowing them to drive heavier vehicles so investigation of alternative powertrains is also vital to help reduce emissions, making the environment better not only for the planet but also our health.

Word of the Week:

Decubitus Ollie Burton lies back and thinks of exams

W

ith exams fast approaching, many of us (myself included) have opted for the strategy of the humble ostrich by burying our heads in the sand and staying confined to our beds. Whether they actually do this or not I will leave to Courier Science resident Jack Coles to cover another time. Regardless, decubitus is the medical term for lying down, from the Latin verb ‘decumbere’.

There are even recognised standard positions, such as lying supine (on your back) or side (lateral decubitus). Furthermore, both the foetal and recovery positions are classified, which I’m sure more than a few of you are familiar with. Restful and a fancy word? Bargain. Just be sure to move before the ulcers set in - or equally bone demineralisation, muscular atrophy or thrombosis, none of which are good outcomes, regardless of the fanciness of their names.

Mythbusters: Does alcohol really kill brain cells?

Deputy Editor Ollie Burton seshes to investigate the effects of alcohol on the brain

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he age-old adage would have you believe that by drinking too heavily on the regular, you’re actually harming yourself in the long run by killing off brain cells. In order to assess this claim, we’ll need to understand how it affects the body.

We’d best get to the bottom of this too, because there are some pretty horrific statistics when it comes to students and their bevving. On average students spend 741 hours per year drinking, which translates to 93 full days of uni over the course of the typical degree. They spend 6 hours and 20 minutes on the average boozing spree, and will part with £16 per night. Rather tragically, 85% of students will also buy bottled drink costing as little as £1 every week.

“On average students spend 741 hours per year drinking, which translates to 93 full days of uni over the course of the typical degree”

Because alcohol is absorbed straight into the bloodstream, it can travel through the body very quickly and easily. Of course we’re interested in the brain, in which alcohol specifically acts on neurotransmitters. Put simply, there are two types of neurotransmitter known as either excitatory, in which case they stimulate brain activity, or inhibitory, which do the opposite.

Booze upregulates the effects of GABA, an inhibitory neurotransmitter, which results in the slurred speech and sluggish movements typically associated with heavily inebriated people. Additionally, glutamate is downregulated, which also results in other physiological processes slowing down. What you may have tangibly noticed is that imbibing alcohol also raises the levels of dopamine in the reward centre of the brain, giving you that euphoric feeling after a cool lagery swallow.

While it won’t kill off your brain cells directly, there certainly are well-documented ill effects resulting from long-term alcohol exposure. Neurons, the nerve cells required for communication of signals around the body can become damaged, which impedes their ability to process information properly which can lead to problems controlling thought and movement. Thankfully these problems can largely be repaired with therapy. Long time Courier fan and binge-drinking enthusiast Ciara had this to say: ‘At twelve pints in I feel the smartest I’ve ever been!’ The Courier extends warm thanks to Ciara for her input.

There is one specific instance in which alcohol can become partially responsible for loss of brain cells, however. Long-term alcohol dependents can develop a disorder known as Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, which can lead to memory problems, lack of muscle coordination and even death in some cases. Before you hurriedly throw away that crisp pint of Diesel, dear reader, please be aware that it’s actually a lack of one of the B vitamins, thiamine that causes this cell death.

Because severe alcoholics are usually malnourished, the effects of alcohol consumption, which affects how their body absorbs the vitamin, can exacerbate this vitamin deficiency. So while the alcohol in and of itself isn’t doing the killing, it can be a contributing factor in these cases. In fact, given the dietary state of most students, it might well be worth bearing this in mind.

You sesh-gremlin, you.

The Courier

puzzles.35

Monday 15 May 2017

Puzzles Across

1 Common signoff for a conversation, originally short for ‘God be with you’ (7) 5 19th Century poet and author famed for his intense sense of [18-across] (3) 6 Egyptian goddess, associated with motherhood and nature (4) 7 A long, epic journey, named for the Greek hero who undertook one to get home (7) 8 The peak of a development; the culmination of a build up (10) 12 To conceive of sights, sounds and sensations in the mind (7) 13 First of something, especially letter of a word (7) 14 A watery respite in a desert (5) 16 An adornment for a saint, a Beyonce song, and a series of first-person shooters.

Probably some other things too (4) 17 Campus building wherein the Courier office can be found (4) 18 A profound sombreity, associated with darkness (5) 19 Jade Holroyd, soon James Sproston (6)

Puzzles Editor: James McCoull

6

Down

1 Something unpleasant or morbid, especially concerning death (4) 2 Process by which things that have some together begin to separate (11) 3 Button between ‘Delete’ and ‘Page Down’ on a standard keyboard (3) 4 ABBA song, and that one bit of Morse code everyone knows (3) 5 Collective term for media outlets (5) 8 Organic compounds which form proteins (5, 4) 9 Final chapter of a book designed to tie off loose ends (8) 10 A final, sometimes extraordinary act which precedes retirement or death (4, 4) 11 A song of mourning, also name of a Mozart composition (7) 15 Something ice cream parlours have, and news reporters seek (5)

2

1

3

4

9

10

5

7

8

11 12 13 14

15

16 17 18 19

Completing this last Puzzles page of The Courier 2016/17 will be a nice send off to a great year for the paper, one which will be fondly remembered and sorely missed by its editors. Don’t bring proof of your achievement to the Courier office. There won’t be anyone there.

36.sport

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston

Sporting success for another season Sports Editors James Sproston and Lucy Brogden reflect on Team Newcastle’s season Image: Lucy Brogden

PIPPA

1

st

MCLEOD BROWN

DANCE

Image: Phil Haswell

Image: Elgan Jones

DIANNE

EMMA

LITTLE

WATER POLO

3

rd

MARQUEZ LOPEZ

Image: James

OLLY

ULTIMATE

4

th

WALKER

BEN

FOOTBALL

5

th

Image: Tom

SMITH

CANOE

IImage: Ryan Doran

Image: NURFC

Clash of the Titans Newcastle started off their sporting year by regaining their Clash of the Titans crown in a narrow 19-18 victory over local rivals, Northumbria in only the second Stan Calvert fixture of the

OCTOBER

year.

Students from both universities turned out in their droves to support both Men’s 1s in the highly-anticipated, hard-fought match.

NOVEMBER

Squash make Premier debut DECEMBER

FEB

JANUARY

Image: Michael Oakes

Image: Magno Carlos

Raiders 38 Northumbria 20 Twice the force for Jiu Jitsu Image: Tom Clare

NUCC enjoy wild water success

Newcastle’s Jiu Jitsu club enjoyed double success this year. In December, the club won the Atemi National Club

Shield at the 2016 National Championships. In March, the club repeated their earlier success at the Randori Nation-

als, a standing throwing and ground fighting event, with every member of the club winning at least once.

Image: Katherine Smith

Dancing to success Newcastle’s Dance Society has had a tremendous year. Highlights of the society’s semester included competing in Durham and Edinburgh’s dance festivals, and hosting their own event in Newcastle. In Durham’s Dance Fusion, the society took home four trophies in Tap, Street, Jazz and the solo wildcard. In February, they repeated this feat in Edinburgh, before hosting their own competion at the Sage later that month. Newcastle were in fine form at the event, taking home an impressive 8 trophies.

The Courier

sport.37

Monday 15 May 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport Instagram thecouriersport | Twitter @Courier_Sport

Rowers remain Head strong

Image: Al Johnston

2016/17

As Stan Calvert Sunday was well and truly the centre of the Courier’s attention, Blue Star once again showed their class in a competent performance as BUCS Head.

Toby Bryant branded it “a very successful day for NUBC”, which kind of sums up most of their competitions.

11th in BUCS Image: Daniel Knight

League winners stay strong Come Easter, a fair few of our teams were in with a shout of winning their respective leagues after a hectic season.

Those knocking on the door of the Prem were subject to playoff fixtures.

Out of the four Newcastle teams looking for promotion, only the Women’s Badminton 1s made it into the top division, as Men’s Lacrosse 1s, Men’s Football 1s and Women’s Tennis 1s all failed to win the necessary games.

Several other of teams besides the badminton girls got promoted this year. Amongst the most impressive were the Men’s Volleyball 1s, winning all ten of their league fixtures along with the Northern Conference Cup. Other teams with 100% records this year were the Men’s Ultimate 1s, who won 8 from 8, and Men’s Squash 3s that repeated that feat in Northern 4B.

Other honourable mentions this season go to Men’s Tennis 1s, Men’s Football 2s, Women’s Netball 4s, and Men’s Squash 4s, who all achieved promotion in their respective leagues as well.

Cup performances were also impressive this year, with Men’s Futsal 1s and Men’s Hockey 2s winning their respective Conference Cups, as well as Men’s Water Polo 1s winning the Northern Conference Cup. Towards the end of the season, several teams went to Nationals for various sports. Pole dancing won the IUPDC Nationals and Pool & Snooker won their national tournament down in Great Yarmouth, whilst Men’s Ultimate 1s and Women’s Water Polo 1s went to BUCS Finals and came away with a silver and a bronze medal respectively.

Image: @NCLBC

BUCS POINTS: TOP THREE Fencing: 182 Squash: 157 Water Polo: 148

Dan Adams takes the NUDL singles title in York

BRUARY

MARCH

APRIL

Overall: 1991

MAY

JUNE

Fourth Stan Calvert heartbreak Big performances from several of our teams, especially Courier Team of the Tournament, Women’s Rugby 2s, wasn’t enough to reclaim the Stan Calvert Cup as Northumbria again cemented their sporting dominance over Newcastle.

However, when we say ‘heartbreaking’, what we mean is predictable and frustrating. Though everyone did their upmost to do Team Newcastle proud, we still saw the vast majority of our athletes reduced to sitting on the sidelines as spectators.

It’s been a trend over the last four years that Northumbria have refused to field teams in fixtures that they wouldn’t expect to win, especially regarding third and fourth teams.

Unfortuantely Stan Calvert has now become an elite competition rather than a participatory event, like most other varisity competitions. With fewer people involved, fewer people will pay attention. It’s a slippery slope and both Northumbria and Newcastle need to be aware of it.

Image: Nigel Vick

Image: NUSU

Top Gun win for NUSYC in Oxford

Takraw tourney returns After laying the groundwork last year, the Newcastle University Sepak Takraw Open returned for a second year with resounding success.

This year there were more teams, more skills and more backflips, and the fans were honoured to see a number of their favourite teams back in

action, such as Berocca Juniors (below), Tiki Takraw and the holders, Balai Malaysia B. The third edition of the tournament will no doubt be a blinder next year, as this year’s controversial winners Male Assvengers will look to defend their title in style.

Image: Megan Lord

38. sport

Monday 15 May 2017

The Courier

Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston

An Ultimate performance from Pies Ultimate

By Sophie Matthews AU Officer Well what a fantastic year it’s been in the AU! It would honestly be impossible to summarise all the success we’ve had this year in such few words, but believe me it’s been absolutely outstanding and I’m so glad I’ve been a part of it. We are currently sitting at 11th in the BUCS league, which is amazing, but it’s all to play for in these final few summer fixtures.

Obviously, one of the main sporting highlights of the year is Stan Calvert, which was phenomenal. Although we may not have won, Team Newcastle gave it everything, and had some amazing wins. Opening the event we had the basketball, which was so fun to watch!

Loads of people turned up to support it, so shout out to those AU supporters!

We didn’t win, but the teams gave so much, and our mascot Rory the Lion was probably the funniest thing I’ve ever seen (good one Liam Day, you smashed it). To pick on a few teams who were particularly great (but obviously this isn’t a full list because we were amazing), Women’s Rugby 2nds brought home a beautiful win!

Netball also had a brilliant set of wins, swiftly followed by Ultimate Frisbee bringing home the points. Table tennis, Squash, the list goes on of those who truly out performed themselves!

Although we may not have won, I was so proud that every single team gave everything and competed in such good spirit.

We haven’t just been competing for BUCS/League points this year, we’ve also been going above and beyond to show our inclusivity. I decided to host an LGBT+ Awareness through sport campaign, and was so pleased that 27 of our clubs got involved and donned their rainbow ribbons on their Wednesday afternoon fixtures.

We raised a fantastic £180 for the Stonewall Charity, and I keep seeing the ribbons on people’s bag (and all over my desk) showing our continued support.

Everyone looked amazing! Earn Your Stripes has also had some amazing interest and so many of you have been hosting such innovative events and non-drinking socials all in the name of inclusivity.

In between all the playing and training and all the hard work, of course we had to have a bit of time to unwind, and what a better way than the AU Ball? I don’t know about you, but I had an absolute ball (see what I did there). With a night full of ‘Persian’ themes, some decent food, and cracking activities, we also had a chance to celebrate.

For those of you who missed the fun, here are the winners of our awards!

Most improved club of the year went to Volleyball, with Women’s Badminton stealing the prize for Team of the Year. Men’s Basketball’s Iain Hewitt won Coach of the Year, whilst Sports Writer of the Year was won by Courtney Strait.

Claudia Heggie swooped in and won the award for Outstanding Contribution to University Sport, with Natasha Misbah being crowed AU Club Member of the Year. To round off the night, Men’s Football were announced as Club of the Year!

I can honestly say I’ve had one of the best years of my life in this role and wish I could do it all over again and watch Team Newcastle progress. I’m looking forward to my last few months with you, so for those with fixtures keep smashing them! Team Newcastle, it’s been an absolute pleasure.

By Fred Davies at Grove Farm, Nottingham Newcastle Pies went into Nationals seeded highest in Division 3, and we went the whole distance over a competitive and action-packed couple of days down in Nottingham.

The weekend started with a large amount of hype and excitement; we were given an impressive tournament review and had some big mentions to live up to. We were seeded first in the BUCS conference cup, and due to an unlucky result last year and the strange BUCS system for ultimate, we were locked down in Division 3 with a couple of other big name teams.

“Pies legend Andrew Macgill owned the sky” To start the weekend, St Andrews came at us with a fairly inexperienced side but had a couple of strong throwers, clearly trained well by their skilled first team players. They struggled against our signature ‘Arrowhead’

zone and were limited to small throws or very risky long shots. After gaining many points from unforced errors, we comfortably ended the game 13-0, hitting the points cap before full time.

Next were UEA and despite hav-

Alex Thompson reaches high for the Pies Image: Dianne Marquez Lopez

“UEA struggled against our suffocating defence just as much as St Andrews” ing more experience on paper than St. Andrews, they struggled against our suffocating defence just as much. We exposed their lack of chemistry and caused them to make silly mistakes, bringing the game to a close at 13-2.

Brighton were our final pool game and we expected them to be our first strong competition. They scared us by taking the lead early and leaving us trailing by one for a few points. Though eventually, Pies captain Ivan Mladjenovic shut playmaker Ricardo Fungairino down, ending Saturday on an 11-7 high.

Spirits were high as we relaxed into a late start on Sunday, and in the first match of the day we faced Sussex 2s.

They had impressive athleticism and had clearly been trained well by their first team and eventual National Men’s champions, Sussex 1s.

Despite their high experience level for a second team, we comfortably ground out an 11-1 win. We now had to put behind us any memory of our easy games and prepare for our semi-final against one of the other two unfairly placed Division 3 teams, Sheffield.

The game began at an instantly intense level and only accelerated throughout.

Despite a game mainly dictated by wind

direction, we managed to burst out of the starting blocks and score a much needed upwind break.

“A very close and hard fought game saw us through to the finals” This determination combined with Pies legend Andrew Macgill owning the sky scared Sheffield and both teams played what could have arguably been one of the most intense games of their Uni career. Huge layout blocks were made, chants were roared and discs were slammed on the ground in sheer elation.

A very close and hard fought game ended 6-5 and saw us through to the final. Now only Oxford stood between us

and the gold medal we fought so hard for last year.

We surprised ourselves by taking a fairly uncontested 3-0 lead and despite that giving us confidence, it may have been our undoing as there is nothing more debilitating than the comfortable feeling of an early lead.

Oxford quickly changed gear and equalised, making use of their experienced receiver Harry Mason, relying on his skill to create points from their questionable long throws. Eventually after leading for the entirety of the game, tiredness from our semi-final got the better of us, allowing them an upwind break to seal our fate as silver medallists.

2 Rifle club keep their aim in Appleton President, Will Mulvaney, looks fierce for the pies Image: Dianne Marquez Lopez

Rifle

By Finn Ryley at Appleton Range, Warrington On Saturday the 29th of April, Newcastle University Student Rifle Club’s team of 12 competed at the BUCS Smallbore Outdoor Championships.

The competition was held at the extremely scenic Appleton Range near Warrington, giving the shooters a chance to expand their knowledge of competing at different ranges and conditions. The day consisted of members shooting 40 shots at 50 meters and 40 shots at 100 meters, with teams of eight, four, ladies 3, pairs and individual men’s and women’s.

12

-strong team from Newcastle competed

nd place finish for the Newcastle Pies

There is always a high level of competition every year with teams from Edinburgh, Glasgow, St Andrews, Southampton, Durham, Exeter, Cardiff, Swansea, Nottingham Trent, Herriot Watt, Ulster, Aberdeen, Coventry and Leeds University.

“Newcastle’s team of eight all shot very consistently” Shooting began at 9am with near perfect still-wind conditions. Despite an overcast day, shooting conditions were very good, with teams performing well.

Newcastle had been preparing for the outdoor shooting conditions by training at the near Sunderland outdoor range in the weeks building up to the competition.

Shooting shoulder to shoulder against Shooting shoulder to shoulder against the other universities Image: Akmal Hakim

The Rifle club enjoy a successful showing at BUCS Image: Akmal Hakim the other universities, 40 shots at 50m and 40 shots at 100 yards, with a total of 10 points for each shot results in an overall score out of 800, first time competitor for Newcastle, Nick Yuen shot extremely well in the team of eight.

Newcastle’s team of eight all shot very consistently with an especially strong performance from the club President, Akmal Hakim Mohamed Rashid. Consistency across the team enabled them to place 2nd in the team of eight, just behind Edinburgh University.

Anna Mathews and Harry Laing, along with Theo Dodds and Finn Ryley, continued with good shooting to only drop 91 points in the team of four placing again 2nd behind Edinburgh. Theo and Finn then also went on to win the pairs, dropping 15 and 17 points. Narrowly missing out on 2nd by 3 points, they came 3rd in the Pairs shooting 768 out of 800. Anna and Harry placed 7th in the pairs, just 10 points behind.

First time competition shooters Kitty Witts and Amber Ayton got to experience shoulder to shoulder shooting, managing to place 8th in the ladies’ triad. This first time experience will have

definitely helped them improve their shooting for the following year.

32

BUCS points earnt for Team Newcastle

Individually, Theo Dodds just missed out from the medals placing 4th with 28 points dropped. The winning position was not far away dropping 24 points.

Finn Ryley with some shaky starts managed to bring it back to place 7th dropping 33 points overall; very tight completion at the top. Great shooting from Akmal placed him 11th overall. Top ladies’ shooter in the individual women’s placed Anna Matthews 16th, dropping 55 points overall.

Amazing team efforts and brilliant experience from the new members won Newcastle a total of 32 BUCS points with a Team of 8 silver, Team of 4 silver, Pairs bronze and Theo Dodds placing 4th. Newcastle University Student Rifle Club now looks forward to the fullbore season, competing at the world famous Imperial Competition in the coming months.

The Courier

sport .39

Monday 15 May 2017

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Water Polo make waves on BUCS Wednesday Water Polo

By Lucy Brogden at University of Bath Just before the Easter break, two teams from NUWPC made the long trek down to Bath to compete in big BUCS Wednesday, the most prestigious event in the university sporting calendar.

First up were the men’s firsts in the trophy final, a knockout competition open to teams that play in the ‘1A’ leagues nationwide below the premiership. Newcastle, captained by Andy Robinson, had already put in a strong performance to book their place in the final, beating top of the league Liverpool in a nail-bitingly close penalty shootout in front of a home crowd a fortnight earlier.

Standing in their way of a gold medal were the top of the South Eastern 1A, UCL. However, the 13-strong side, made up of national league and international players, as well as the self-appointed ‘best water polo player the club has ever had, and ever will have’, Adam Courtley, were confident about their

chances.

From the off, the scoreline remained level, with both teams fighting bitterly to put points on the board. 2016/17 players’ player, Andy Robinson, scored some ‘absolute worldies’, with keeper, Owen Herman, pulling off some incredible saves to aid their campaign.

Under the instruction of men’s coach, Matt Little, the team stayed focussed enough to gradually pull away from UCL in the third quarter, maintaining this narrow lead to seal a convincing 12-9 victory to take home the coveted trophy title. A triumphant Toon side celebrated by pushing coach Little into the pool.

On their victory, keeper Herman said “everything came together for us in the final. We defended well like we had all season, but we also managed to create and finish our chances to get away in the third quarter and win the trophy”.

After witnessing such an impressive performance from the men, the pressure was on for Newcastle’s women to achieve similar results in the BUCS championship. Fuelled on a hearty and

nutritious breakfast of scrambled eggs and porridge, Newcastle were ready to fight for their chance at a medal against the best university water polo teams in the country.

In the semi-finals, Newcastle prepared to take on their North-Eastern rivals, Durham, to whom they had suffered a punishing loss earlier in the season.

On Big BUCS Wednesday it seemed as though the burly, mainly American side were in fine form once again, with Newcastle succumbing to a spectacular 20-4 loss in their opening game, sending them crashing out of contention for a gold or silver medal.

Picking themselves up, Newcastle prepared to face the newly-promoted St Andrews in the bronze medal playoffs, and put in a sterling performance.

As soon as the match began, Newcastle opened an easy lead, with goals coming from all three of the team’s new freshers, none of whom had played water polo before arriving at Newcastle in September.

Rather than relying on individuals, Newcastle worked together as a team, and this showed as their lead gradually increased. Club president and goalkeeper, Jess Newman, kept a clean sheet for three quarters, while Welsh international and Courier ‘This Girl Did’ athlete, Harriet Robinson, marked St Andrews’ centre forward out of the game.

team who have worked immeasurably hard for each other throughout this season. We have achieved as a club, and I’m sure with this attitude the success will continue”.

President Newman, echoed such sentiments, saying that “the club’s results speak for themselves, and our community is so supportive. It will all be greatly missed.”

As the team went up to collect their bronze medal under the watchful eye of Newcastle’s Performance Sport Manager, Fraser Kennedy, they cemented their place in the top three performing female university water polo clubs in the country. Not bad for a team who have no scholarship athletes.

Next year, the club has a lot to do if they are to build on this success, but incoming President Megan Lord, the AU administrator of the year, has plenty of enthusiasm for the challenges that lie ahead.

She said “I’m so excited to be taking charge of one of the most successful clubs in the university! We’ve had a brilliant year and I’m looking forward to another successful one next season.”

When asked about the team’s aims for next season, she added “particularly, I’d love to see the men’s 1s repeat their success with another trophy win, but also

Mascot, Leo, cheered on both teams Image: @leobrogden

get promoted to the premiership, something they’re very capable of doing, given that none of the team are graduating.

The women’s firsts are losing some of their key players, but this will give our younger players the chance to blossom under the fantastic captaincy of Sarah Poyntz, so hopefully we’ll be able to make finals again.”

But it’s not all about performance. “I’m also looking forward to seeing our second teams grow in strength and confidence, and develop into fantastic water polo players”.

Under Lord’s leadership, we know they will do no wrong.

“I am very proud to have captained a team who have worked immeasurably hard” The resulting 14-2 victory provided a fitting end to the university water polo careers of SPOTY runner-up, Emma Little, Newman, and captain Beth Laidlaw, all of whom have contributed enormously to the success of the club.

On their success, captain Laidlaw said “I am very proud to have captained a

2017/2018 President, Megan Lord, remains calm against Durham Image: BUCS

Rowing enjoy success at BUCS Regatta Rowing

By Kelsey Stoddart at National Water Sports Centre The May bank holiday weekend saw, as it does every year, the biggest university rowing event in the country take place, BUCS Regatta.

With this weekend in the back of every rower’s minds throughout the gruelling winter months, it was finally here. The club produced some incredible performances across all three days, finishing the weekend with a total of 16 medals, many of which were gold.

Jack Smith kick-started the medal winning on Saturday when he finished third in the men’s intermediate lightweight single, just narrowly missing out on the silver in a tightly contested final.

Four of his lightweight teammates followed suit, storming to victory in the lightweight 4- and successfully defending their title from last year.

The men’s beginner four raced with

excellent maturity at their first BUCS finishing in silver medal position to a quick Queen’s University Belfast crew.

The women’s squad demonstrated their seamless ability to trade one blade for two by winning silver in intermediate and bronze in championship quads, fantastically emulating last year’s results. The day ended with the men’s intermediate and championship 8+ A finals, in which both NUBC crews finished in fifth place.

16

medals won for the boat club overall

With the weather set to deteriorate throughout the day on Sunday, all crews were keen to race well in the morning to make those precious A final places.

The strength of the men’s lightweight squad was clearly demonstrated in the MLwt8+ when they comfortably won the A final, defending their title from

The men’s lightweight four on their way to gold Image: James Waller

last year and setting a new course record in the process.

Next up was the men’s novice eight who, despite their best efforts, couldn’t quite match the speed of another classy Queens Belfast crew and finished second. The men’s fours followed, in which both the intermediate and champ coxed boats performed incredibly, securing bronze medals.

The day finished with the women’s eights who had performed consistently well throughout the day, with the intermediate 8 looking to defend the title from last year. In the final they were quickly up on the rest of the field off the start and controlled the whole race all the way down, comfortably winning gold for the club.

The women’s champ 8 followed and put up an epic fight in a stacked field of boats, however they couldn’t quite match the speed and finished in fifth place.

The success didn’t stop on the third day of racing. Once again, the men’s lightweight squad were the ones to kickstart the medal rush. They fought a hard fight in the lightweight quad, finishing in second place, only a few seconds behind a strong crew from Reading University.

Next up was Freddie Strawson in the men’s beginner single who, after already winning two silver medals in the beginner 4 and 8, went one better to walk away with the MBeg1x title in a record

Freddie Strawson with his gold medal in MBeg1x Image: James Waller setting time.

Then we turned to the lightweight women, a relatively new squad at NUBC that has promising talent. The girls in the lightweight pair rowed a stunning race, finishing just behind an experienced Cambridge University crew to win a silver medal. Shortly afterward the women’s intermediate coxed four won their A final, and were followed by the championship coxed four who sadly just missed out on the medals. The men’s championship pair raced brilliantly, placing second and preventing a 1, 2 Brookes finish.

The final races of the weekend were the men’s intermediate and championship quads, in which the inter quad

pipped Reading university to the bronze medal and the champ quad just missed out on a top 3 finish.

The 5 gold, 6 silver and 5 bronze medals won over the 3 days put Newcastle in third place in the overall Victor Ludorum. The quality of the racing and maturity of the squad that was consistently displayed from all athletes over the weekend made for an excellent regatta.

This weekend has proven itself to be an excellent benchmark to build upon as we head into the thick of the summer season.

3

rd in the overall Victor Ludorum trophy

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www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 15 May 2017 Issue 1351 Free

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ULTIMATE NATIONALS, P.38

Iconic: Newcastle and Durhan raced against a Tyne backdrop Image: James Sproston

Blue star rule the waves

Boat Race of the North

By James Sproston at Quayside

On a wind-swept Saturday afternoon at the Quayside, Newcastle University Boat Club battled it out with Durham across six races to see who truly rules the waves in the North East.

Having competed against each other on the Tyne since 1997, the Boat Race of the North pits rowing’s two northern heavyweights against each other across the 1500m distance along arguably the most iconic backdrop in the North East.

Starting at the High Level Bridge, the boats travel through the arches of the Swing Bridge before heading under the Tyne Bridge, at which point it’s a sprint to the finishing line under the Millennium Bridge, where the boats are greeted my hundreds of cheering spectators.

Looking at the recent history of the race, Newcastle had reasons to be confident. Durham have not claimed the trophy since 2008, and last year was another dominant display of Blue Star’s prowess.

However, this was not always the case, as Durham won every year from its inception in 1997 to 2004, ignoring the 2000 and 2003 events that were can-

celled due to poor rowing conditions.

Newcastle change in fortune was undoubtedly down to the arrival of Angelo Savarino as Head of Rowing in the Sports Centre. In 2005, Newcastle won two of the four races to prevent an outright Durham victory for the first time, and did so again in 2007.

Two years later, in 2009, Newcastle won their first Boat Race of the North trophy, and have not given it up since.

Last year’s encounter finished with an overall 4-2 win for Newcastle, as Durham claimed both novice victories, but came up short against Newcastle’s 1s and 2s. Again this year, looking at the results from BUCS Regatta, it would take a colossal effort for Durham to overcome six very strong Blue Star boats.

“hundreds of people packed out the banks of the Tyne and Millenium bridge to watch...”

Nevertheless, hundreds of people packed out the banks of the Tyne and the Millennium Bridge to watch the boats in action, and it was Durham that took the early advantage. The first race of the afternoon, the Novice Women’s

category, was won by Durham’s boat of first years by clear water.

Ten minutes after the Novice Women’s race had started, the Novice Men’s race got under way. Coxed by Hannah Taylor and consisting of Peter Robins, Hal Wheatly, Francis Gainsbourgh, Freddie Strawson, Arthur Newman Alex Manson, Tom Padwick, Tom Astell, Newcastle put in an assured performance, with two lengths between the two boats.

The next race was equally as one-sided, as Newcastle’s Women’s 2s stormed home to have clear water between themselves and the Durham boat. Having won by five and a half boat lengths last year, Charlie Adams, Phoebe Truett, Anna Van de Braak, Kathryn Eccles, Sundee Denton-Chandler, Harriet Aubrook, Lucy Stanhope, Charlie Dobson and cox Charlotte Hill were under pressure to deliver again and they did, leaving Durham well in their wake.

Next up, the Men’s 2s set up underneath High Level Bridge ready to do battle. By the finishing point, the Newcastle boat had matched last year’s performance, winning by the boat and three quarters margin that they achieved last time out.

With the score at 3-1, Newcastle had already secured the trophy for yet another year. However, there was still

much to be played for as the biggest and best were still to compete.

Newcastle had the psychological advantage, bettering Durham at the BUCS Regatta just a week before in both the men’s and women’s categories, but with that came an added pressure.

9

consecutive Boat Race wins for NUBC

First up were the Women’s 1s. At BUCS Regatta, less than a second separated the two boats at the 1500m mark, so even a betting man would think twice before committing his coppers to one of these two teams.

Nevertheless, Newcastle started the stronger of the two, emerging from the Swing Bridge with a clear advantage. As the crew of cox Sasha Adwani, Megan Barry, Harriet Roddy, Emily Ford, Lola Anderson, Kate Woolley, Lydia Davis, Natasha Harris-White, Fiona Chestnutt passed under the Tyne Bridge, Durham seemed to find something extra, but with the spectators cheering them on from the NE1 makeshift beach, Newcastle still cruised home with over a boat length advantage.

Finally, it was time for the Men’s 1s.

Durham had disappointed at BUCS Re-

gatta, not making it into the final, whilst Newcastle’s boat finished fifth in the A final.

When it came down to the race, Newcastle were again dominant from the off. The remaining supporters crammed onto the Millennium Bridge to cheerMichael Trevena, William Stewart, James Robson, Alex Haynes, William New, Henry Lambe, Barnaby Stroud and cox Alex Turner over the finish line for the final time and celebrate a convincing 5-1 victory.

Club president and Men’s 1s rower Barnaby Stroud said that “The Tyne provides an amazing waterway in which to race, it is great to see the city from a riverside perspective and have crowds lining the Quayside and cheering us on.”

Concerning this year’s race, he added “this year’s event was brilliant; it proved popular with the competitors and public alike. We were very happy with winning and we are keen to see it return again next year.”

It’s no surprise that Newcastle consistently perform so well, but it’s brilliant to see how far they’ve come. Though it’s exponentially harder to climb higher, Blue Star will hope to continue their meteoric rise to the top, and challenge for more and more medals in the coming years.