Courier 1246

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 27 February 2012 Issue 1246 Free

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“It’s an absolute travesty that he’s gone.”

Tragic death of Dental student hit by car in Leeds Friends pay tribute to peer “so content with life”

By Kat Bannon Editor

Fraser McLintock, 1992-2012

A Dental student tragically lost his fight for life after being hit by a car in Leeds left him with severe head injuries.

Fraser McLintock, 19, suffered multiple skull fractures when he collided with a grey Audi A3 in the early hours of the morning of Saturday 11 February.

West Yorkshire Police said the incident happened on Blenheim Walk at the junction with St Marks Road, close to the University of Leeds.

Critically ill in intensive care at Leeds General Infirmary during the week following the incident with his family by his side, Fraser died of his injuries late afternoon on Friday 17 February.

His death has come as a huge shock to his family and friends, as well as Newcastle’s Dental School, in which Fraser was in his second year.

Universally popular, Fraser knew how to work hard, continuously excelling academically. Not only wellknown in his own year group but those above and below him, Fraser had strong links of involvement with DentSoc, which included playing football for their Intra Mural side.

Jimmy Steele, Dean of the School of Dental Sciences, told The Courier that it was clear from speaking with both

his friends and lecturers that he was an extremely well-liked individual: “Fraser was the kind of guy who if you needed a volunteer to do something he was the first there.

“He was highly popular as well as doing well academically, recognised as a sensible and balanced young man by his tutors.

“It’s really hard for the school and his friends for one of their peers to have passed away.”

A number of Fraser’s friends also expressed their extreme sadness to have lost someone so dear to them: “Fraser was a really an incredibly unique guy and a true, true, friend.

Although he was laid-back he always managing to get amazing grades.

I’ll never forget any of the memories we made together.”

“He was such a carefree individual, really kind to anyone and everyone and full of life.

He’d always make you laugh, no matter how well you knew him. He’d always have your back too. He was simply an amazing guy.”

“Fraser was always really kind, no matter how close to him you were.

“He was solid-gold ledge. Always dressed nice - and his hair was lovely too.”

“We all feel we’ve truly lost someone so special. To be so young and to have seen the potential he had it’s so, so sad that he passed away.

“We wont find someone else like him.”

“He was just a wonderful guy to be around. You could spend hours with him.

“I’ve never known anyone so content with life - it’s an absolute travesty that he’s gone.”

Fraser’s funeral took place on Friday in his home city of Glasgow. It was a private family affair, followed by a memorial service.

The Dental School arranged transport for 50 students across a number of disciplines to be able to attend, for which spaces to filled up quickly.

DentSoc have also cancelled any events for the next few weeks in memory.

In reaction to these displays of respect and sadness in light of such a devastating loss Jimmy Steele said: “If there was anything positive to draw from this tragedy it’s the fact that the students have pulled together so well.”

At the time the incident occurred Fraser was taking part in a Valentine’s event organized by Leeds University’s DentSoc. This was orgnaised in conjunction with a number of DentSocs from various other universities. A Leeds University spokesperson said “We were extremely sorry to hear about this tragic accident, and our thoughts are with Fraser’s family and friends at this very difficult time.”

News

2

Monday 27 February 2012

News Editors: Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor: Helen Lam courier.news@ncl.ac.uk

thecourieronline.co.uk/news

NEWS

FARE GAME

New ticket barriers to be installed in Metros to curb fare dodging

DOCTOR IPAD

Newcastle researchers develop app to speed up stroke diagnosis

Graduates sell face

4 8

By Ben Travis

COMMENT

10 Cross-dressing 11 as bad as SPORT

FACEBOOK FEAR

Miranda Dobson on the slow erosion of privacy

DON’T DO GOD Is religion marginalised in British society?

STAN CALVERT

Eight-page pullout special previewing the big event - head to the centre of the paper!

39

BATTLING BIGOTS Is the FA’s new anti-homophobia initiative enough?

The Courier

‘blackening up’

Students have been asked to be considerate Photography: blacque_jacques (Flickr)

By George Sandeman News Editor Exeter University students have been warned that cross-dressing could be seen as being as offensive as ‘blacking up’.

Prior to a week of events to celebrate diversity on campus, a message sent

by Exeter University’s Guild warned that the practice could be deemed as insulting for ‘genderqueer’ (those who view themselves as not being totally male or female) members of the student and public population.

In a statement the Guild said: “To parody this appearance is crass and offensive on the same level as ethnicity.

“While ‘blacking up’ in various guises is not unlawful... by parodying an appearance you are taking on the public performance of a group of persons in a stereotypical or (sometimes) mocking way.”

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Just visit thecourieronline.co.uk/getinvolved for more information.

Nick Davis, the Student Guild President, added: “People seem very happy with the message. It’s not a warning, or a way to tell people how to conduct themselves.

The campus diversity week was set up by actress Emma Thompson whose While ‘blacki- adopted son, ung up’ in vari- Tindeyebwa, was subjected to racous guises is abuse whilst not unlawful... ist studying at the by parodying University. an appearance In 2009, she you are taking said that the leader of the on the public Nick Grifperformance of BNP, fin, would “feel a group very comfortable” at Exeter because of its smaller proportion of students from ethnic minorities compared to other universities in the UK.

Two Cambridge graduates are selling advertising space on their faces in order to pay off their student debts of almost £50,000.

Ed Moyse and Ross Harper, through www.buymyface.com, paint different companies logos and slogans on their faces. Anyone from businesses to individuals can buy the space for a day at a time.

They will then be advertised to anyone who happens to pass the former students during the day.

So far, companies such as Ernest and Young, and one of Cambridge University’s student newspapers, The Tab, have used the space, with the betting agency Paddy Power being one of the most frequent users of the, what Moyse calls, a “novel and crazy” idea.

So far, the business, which runs by the slogan: “Face it. It’s brilliant” has been running for just under 150 days and has already raised in excess of £32,732. The duo began on October 1 last year and raised over £3,500 in the first ten days.

They have chosen to bypass a hostile graduate market with Moyse and Harper saying that they were, “armed only with massive student debt and a firm grasp of the principles of viral advertising.

“It’s our unconventional way of paying off our student debt.

“We’ve seen so many unsuccessfully applying for jobs, only to eventually settle in a career that they never really wanted. It’s just something a bit different and has taken off quite nicely.”

The pair run a daily blog, alongside a calendar, with photos of their painted faces on a daily basis, which can be found at www.buymyface.com.

Under-graduate degrees cut by 25% across UK

By Wills Robinson News Editor A quarter of full-time undergraduate courses offered by UK universities have been cut over the past six years.

This decrease in the range of courses on offer suggests that, although students are paying more for their education, they have a narrower choice of what they can study.

At the same time, universities are dropping single honours courses in subjects such as science, foreign languages and the humanities because of the lack of public funding institutions are receiving.

Research by the University and Colleges Union (UCU) shows that the number of undergraduate courses available has decreased from 70,052 in 2006 to 51,116 in 2012. Furthermore, the report found that single subject courses examined in science, technology, engineering and maths has dropped by just under 15%.

In comparison, there was only a drop of 3% in Scotland, where native students attend university without paying tuition fees.

In England, the rate of course cutting is varied over the country, with six of the nine regions experiencing an over 25% decline in the number of courses.

Editor Kat Bannon Deputy Editor Elliot Bentley News Editors Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor Helen Lam Politics Correspondent Bethany Staunton Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor Jack Torrance C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson Lifestyle Editors Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Lifestyle Editor Emma Balter Fashion Editor Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor Rosanna Sopp Arts Editors Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor Lisa Bernhardt Film Editor Chris Binding Online Film Editor Hayley Hamilton Music Editors Ben Travis, Chris Scott Online Music Editor Graham Matthews Science Editor Mark Atwill Online Science Editor Shaun Butcher TV Editors Sophia Fairhead and Nicole Stevenson Sports Editors Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Baron Online Sports Editors Grace Harvey and Charlie Scott Design Editors Gabe Mason and Tom O’Boyle Copy Editors Sarah Collings, Rachael Day, Dave Dodds, Grace Marconi, Rebecca Markham, Charley Monteith, Adam Rummens, Alice Sewell, Marleen van Os, Emily Wheeler

The North East is one of the least affected with only a 12.3% decline, whereas the South West has experienced a drop by nearly half, and London has seen a drop of a third. It is also a concern that, what researchers have termed, ‘academic deserts’, with whole regions not offering solitary courses in the likes of French and German.

UCU General Secretary Sally Hunt, who agrees with the view that there is less choice for students, despite the fee hike, said: “We fear that shifting the burden of funding from the state to the student means nervous universities will look to axe even more courses that they worry won’t make a profit.

“There are more students but a reduction in choice. If you are saying that rather than doing a degree in maths or engineering or chemistry you have to do it together then that’s a very poor argument.”

Despite this, Dale Bassett, research director of think-tank Reform, described the figures as “misleading”.

He told BBC Radio 4’s Today Programme: “There are far more people going to university than ever before.

There are 100,000 more places every year.

“What we are seeing is choice in action. There are more joint honours degrees, which is what employers want, and more part-time provision.”

The Courier is printed by: Harmsworth Printing Limited, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby, DE1 2DW. Tel: 01332 253013.

Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

news.3

Monday 27 February 2012

Uni Great North Run team celebrates decade of raising to improve debt relief

By Wills Robinson News Editor The annual selection of Newcastle University’s Great North Run team has hit its tenth year in a row.

The group, headed by Dr David Golding CBE, is supporting Drop the Debt and Stop AIDS in this year’s race.

Golding, who received is CBE for his “services to the world poverty campaign”, said of the initiative: “We did really well last year, despite the inauspicious conditions for fundraising.

“We recruited our biggest team ever, helped by Last year, the terrific pubthe runners licity of the Students’ Union.” raised nearly They have also £15,700, received the bringing its generous suprunning total to port of the Viceover £127,000 Chancellor, Chris Brink, who statover the ten “This Great years they have ed, North Run iniparticipated tiative does valuable work and is a credit to our institution. I commend it.”

Last year, the runners raised nearly £15,700, bringing its ‘running total’ to more than £127,000 over the ten years they have participated, with runners choosing which specific agency should benefit.

Furthermore, concessions were provided for students by members of staff, including rebates for entry fees, which totalled at just under £1,150.

Last September, Dr Golding made what he called his ‘first and last’ visit to Africa to look at the development that has occurred as a result of debt relief. “I was simply amazed at how perfectly our package chimes with needs there,” he described…I met a woman, “Agnes”, in a remote village in Zambia, who’s HIV-positive; her husband and one daughter have died of AIDS, but

CHARITIES OF FIRE

Runners from Newcastle University have been raising money to help combat the spread of HIV / Aids, poverty and advance global development for the past ten years; come rain or shine.

Photography: David Golding

she’s doing quite well – at my request, she went into her little mud-brick hut with its grass roof and brought out her two pots if AVT (anti-AIDS) pills to show me.

“Charges at her local clinic were abolished in 2006 when Zambia got

debt relief; her pills are free thanks to Stop AIDS and Make Poverty History campaigns; and she’s being helped to grow her own food by one of the aid agencies we support, unless she gets at least one nourishing meal a day the drugs wont help her.

“Agnes is one of seven million people now receiving AVT, whose children will not be left orphans in a cold and callous world.”

All staff and students who have secured places through the ballot on “the most iconic half-marathon on the

planet,” are encouraged and welcomed to join the team.

A training seminar is arranged in the Sports Centre for all of the runners, along with training, health and safety briefings and social gatherings where the runners can meet.

that she managed to find her voice again.

However, her initial happiness a did not last long, as reactions from her neighbours and family were far from comforting.

“Everybody said I sounded French, but I’ve never even been there.”

She was even more upset when her three-year-old grandson could not recognise her voice. Besides quitting the job as a teaching assistant, Debie also confronted the identity problem.

In the recent interview with professor Miller, The Courier learnt of the possibility of enhancing language learning with FAS as well as raising awareness of its psychological effects.

“Foreign Accent Syndrome sufferers go through a grieving stage, like a death has happened.” Debie described her condition. “You can’t find yourself any more ... Every day I wake up and think: ‘don’t speak’ because in my silence I am Deb but something

will happen and the silence is broken.

You’re a stranger again.”

The reason why the flu caused the seizures is still unknown. Debie visited Newcastle University last year in March, where she had undergone language and speech tests under Professor’s Miller supervision.

Known as a national and international expert in FAS, Mr. Miller said that Debie’s case is unique as it is difficult to “pin down” the neurological cause of her condition.

Although one year has passed, Mrs. Royston is still under his examination and is gradually improving.

“She is a lot more adjusted to her accent and open to return to work.”

Miller has noted. FAS can be caused from neurological problem, equally as from psychological reasons, such as depression.

While its symptoms may indicate that a person miraculously gains the ability to efficiently speak with foreign

accent, Professor Miller explains listener’s perception plays a significant role.

“If you put Debie next to somebody who is French, you will see immediately that they don’t sound the same at all. It is just the general impression”.

Therefore, for different listeners Mrs. Royston’s accent could have equally sounded like German, Italian or Spanish.

FAS is about changes in the way brain sends signals for lips, tongue movements and intonation control, rather than some kind of brain programming, which would help you to speak a new language.

Professor Miller rejected The Courier’s speculation about turning the effects of FAS into a beneficial tool to aid learning foreign languages for Newcastle’s students.

“There is nothing to do with foreign language. I guess it is the other way around. It is the same technique

that you use in the foreign language to teach people a new accent that you can apply to people with FAS to have them to change their accent back from the foreign accent to the native accent”.

Although physiological changes and health problems are obvious, social and psychological problems have more severe consequences in FAS cases.

These include how listeners start to perceive FAS patients as “different”, potentially leading to depression and social exclusion.

Professor Miller suggests that we should “educate public about how they should react to people with FAS” as equally as other disabilities.

When asked about the sudden popularity of one-year-old story of Debie Royston in recent media coverage, Nick Miller threw out a joke: “It’s all about stupid journalists who were looking around for a story”.

Mother develops French accent after flu

By Thuy Anh Phan and Sophia Doan

Debie Royston, 40, discovered that aching muscles and a runny nose aren’t the only systoms of the flu - after her bount of illness left her speaking with a French accent.

Orginally from Birmingham and currently residing in Kent, her local doctors were unable to detect the reason for this bizarre change.

Mrs. Royston was eventually sent to Newcastle University, where professor Nick Miller made the diagnosis of Foreign Accent Syndrome (FAS).

Known to affect the brain functioning and speech production, FAS is connected with numerous misconceptions and social problems.

After suffering up to 10 seizures a day, Debie Royston completely lost the ability to speak for a month. It was only after intensive speech therapy,

4.news

Monday 27 February 2012

Syrian students speak out against bloodshed NO

The Courier

The cost of intervention in Syria would be very high

Sky News appearance pleads for more international pressure on regime

By Rose Yeatman and Emily Osmond Too afraid to show their faces, a group of Syrian Newcastle students spoke out on Sky News this week, appealing to David Cameron and local MPs to

eron to take more decisive action. In their own words: “when there is blood all over you, you can’t ignore it, unless you have a heart of rock”.

The recent unrest in Syria began in March 2011 after fifteen school children were arrested, and reportedly

ended in chaos after the army opened fire on the protesters claiming the lives of four people. The violence escalated after demands for the resignation of President Bashar el-Assad fell on deaf ears, and nearly a year into the conflict the situation has failed to be

Newcastle Universities’ Syrian students bravely spoke out against what they term as the ‘killing machine’ of the Syrian government, demanding the withdrawal of the British Ambassador from Syria reach out to Syria and put an end to the bloodshed currently sweeping the streets.

Newcastle Universities’ Syrian students bravely spoke out against what they term as the “killing machine” of the Syrian government, demanding the withdrawal of the British Ambassador from Syria and the expulsion of the Syrian Ambassador in London.

Furthermore, they pleaded for more international pressure to be placed on the Assad regime and for David Cam-

tortured, for writing anti-government graffiti around the southern city of Deraa. The childrens’ behaviour was triggered by the torture of a female relative who was heard making jokes at the expense of the regime. The majority of the school children allegedly died and those that did return were unrecognizable to their families.

In response to this, the town took part in what should have been a peaceful protest, calling for democracy and greater freedom, but the day

resolved and the country remains divided. The city of Homs has currently gone eighteen days with constant shelling, no electricity, no water, and no food. The Red Cross has asked for a daily two hour cease fire to allow aid into the city.

On Monday last week The Sunday Times’ Marie Colvin, and photographer Remi Ochlik died following shells crashing into their makeshift media centre in Homs.

JOE MATHERS COMMENT

I

n the past eleven months the crisis in Syria has intensified.

Now some American think tanks and the Emir of Qatar are calling for intervention in Syria. One of main arguments is consistency, they argue how can we intervene in Libya but then leave Syria to its fate?

However, while we all feel a frustration to do something, anything, to stop the bloodshed, it is key to remember that Libya and Syria are two very different countries.

Firstly, the cost of an unsuccessful intervention would be far higher in Syria because Syria has a much more complex sectarian and ethnic makeup. It could be very similar to Iraq, where a botched intervention cost 100,000 lives.

Secondly, a broad based international consensus would be required to defeat Syria’s well-trained army, with the Americans needing to take the lead, with the legitimacy of an international consensus.

Unfortunately, without Russian and China changing their stance in the Security Council this seems

extremely unlikely. Thirdly, unlike Libya a ‘No Fly Zone’ would be difficult to enforce and ineffective as the Syrian air force have not flown during the conflict. Lastly, there is no unified rebel force ready to fight Mr Assad or support from inside Syria for intervention.

So what needs to be done since an intervention is impractical?

Firstly, the Arab League’s plan must be A broad based endorsed by all Security international Council states consensus and tougher would be UN sanctions required to passed to isodefeat Syria’s late Mr Assad and cut off revwell-trained streams. army, with the enue The Arab Americans League’s plan is needing to take the best way of avoiding civil the lead with and further an internation- war al consensus bloodshed.

To do this the tide of international opinion needs to turn against Russia, whose support for Mr Assad is based purely on economic pragmatism.

This is the best chance the international community has to bring about a resolution to this crisis.

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Visit thecourieronline.co.uk to have your say.

Clearly action needs to be taken over YES the issue RALPH BLACKBURN COMMENT

E

ver since the disaster in Iraq the notion of humanitarian intervention has been somewhat tainted.

However, not all interventions need to go the same way as the operation in Iraq did and this needs to be kept in mind when we think about Syria.

Many commentators have completely ruled out the option of intervention however, the vast majorities have not explored all the options.

There is the danger of Syria turning into the next Bosnia which led Europe and the US to hang their heads in shame over their inaction.

Syria already has more casualties than Libya, at the point when NATO intervened, and the area surrounding Homs has descended into civil war with medical personnel being murdered for attending injured civilians. Clearly action has to be taken however, the nature of this is up in the air.

A ground invasion would be ex-

tremely foolish, Syria have a very well trained army and, as in the case of Iraq, this would only see casualties increase dramatically. Syria is not Libya either, a ‘No Fly Zone’ is not applicable given how densely populated Syria is and Bashar Al-Assad is not using aircraft as a weapon.

A NATO military intervention would only alienate Assad and lead to further casualties however, in the past, Arab League interventions have, in cases, been non-violent.

Since suspending Syria from the Arab League, election observers have had to leave the country due to violence and, in my opinion, the Arab League has got to take a more forceful step. Armed peacekeeping forces could stop the violence and force dialogue between Assad and the divided opposition groups.

The issue here is the strength of Assad’s army compared to that of the rest of the Arab League however, if the Arab League could get Turkey to form and lead a coalition, the peacekeeping forces would be strong enough.

Turkey are currently providing a safe zone for Syria’s opposition however, as they are not a western country, they could stop Assad declaring war against the peacekeeping forces.

The Courier

news.5

Monday 27 February 2012

Increase in bike theft causes Estates to act

By Ralph Blackburn Over the past couple of months, a spate of bicycle thefts has swept across the Newcastle University campus.

Areas with a large amount of bicycle racks are being targeted, such as the Robinson Library, the Medical School and Merz Court.

This is part of a rise in bicycle thefts that the University Estate and Security services have recorded from 2007 to 2011.

Cycling remains one of the most popular ways for students who do not live on campus to get into University.

The issue is the use of cheap, light, wire locks which thieves can easily cut with wire cutters.

Kenneth Nott, of the Estate and Security Service, strongly advised the use of D-locks as opposed to thin wire locks saying: “it takes six seconds for a bicycle thief to snip a wire flexible lock and steal your property.”

The security services have put in place extra measures to stop bicycle thieves. Increased CCTV and patrols round bicycle theft hot spots have led to thieves being caught.

The security service has also started the immobilise property registration scheme, to stop stolen goods being sold, as reported in last week’s The Courier.

Technological improvements have led to the security services investing in a high-tech stinger bike which leads the Northumbria Police

BOBBIES ON BIKES

Northumbria Police and the University’s Estates Service are cooperating to clamp down on rising bike crime Photography: LHOON (Flickr)

directly to the thief ’s house. However, by far the most innovative new measure put in place to combat bicycle crime, is the use of ‘eye signage’ in bicycle theft hotspots.

Students may recognise the warning eyes staring intensely at them from their placements around University bike racks.

The sign was designed by the Security Services as a result of positive research carried out by The Centre for Behaviour and Evolution/ Institute of Neuroscience Newcastle University.

The signs were put in place from the 17 May 2011 to the 17 November 2011, at the Medical School, the Robinson Library and the Daysh building to assess the impact the signs had upon bicycle crime. The signs have displayed a dramatic decrease in crime.

Prior to the placement of signs, thefts in the designated areas were over double that of the rest of the University. However since the implementation of the signs the amount of thefts in designated areas has dropped to below half of that across the rest of the University.

Whilst the scheme clearly works in the designated areas, bicycle thefts across the university has still risen. It is advisable to lock your bike up in the designated areas, the Medical School, the Robinson Library and the Daysh building, however the best advice to follow would be Ken Nott’s, “Solid metal D-locks are the only real deterrent when it comes to protecting your bicycle.”

Students’ International Development Conference brings world experts to campus and lays down vision for future

By Veronica Kiteley and Mirjam Triebe With the world’s population having reached seven billion, solutions for the most pressing global issues are widely debated.

The 4th annual student-led International Development Conference took place on February 18 and 19 in the Herschel Building and offered a platform for discussing eveExpert speak- rything from eners congratu- vironmental, to and over to lated students social political fields of from the actions. society for their Expert speakdirectorial com- ers from all areas concerning petence and achievement IDnet ve er nl oapt imo enna tl of an extensive c o n g r a t u l a t e d public turnout students from the society for their demonstrated directorial competence and the achievement of an extensive turnout.

Ben Dyson, a specialist in money and banking and renowned for his work within the ‘Positive Money’ campaign, stated that the IDC was the most professionally organised noncommercial conference that he had ever been part of.

Over the weekend of the 18th-19th February a diverse audience of over 300 people, together with students from universities across the country,

journalists, academics and members of the general public assembled for the fourth conference to be held at Newcastle University.

The event was chaired by Richard Moss, the current Political Editor for the North East and Cumbria, and prominent speakers included Chi Onwurah the Shadow Minister for Innovation and Science, Andrew Lamb the current chief executive of Engineers without Borders and, the Director for Global Sustainability at Procter & Gamble, Dr Peter White.

During the course of the conference over 30 speakers shared their views and over 25 organisations showcased their work enabling the event to act as a platform for issues surrounding development to be shared and debated.

One hot topic of the conference concerned whether or not a positive or negative label should be affixed to the issue of We structured the world’s rising population. the two-day The seemingly conference anti-technology around 7 and pessimistic plenaries, each view of a growing population, prefocusing on specific devel- sented by former Uniopment issues Newcastle versity graduate and current Chair of the Newcastle Green Party Sandy Irvine, was met with a strong rebuttal by Andrew Lamb.

Irvine asserted that the term ‘sus-

tainable development’ was overused and that over-population would inevitably lead to greater inequality of living standards.

Lamb, the Chief Executive of Engineers without Borders, criticized

technology are the determining forces in pressures on society and environment.

A particularly captivating speech was given by Jason Holbeche, founder of The Mission Worldwide, who is

Another organiser, Richard Davidson, also commented: “Even the lunch breaks were busy, with academic posters on display, and both photograph and art exhibitions to enjoy.

“We structured the two-day confer-

Lamb later took to Twitter and said that Sandy Irvine’s speech at the conference was: “ill-informed, dangerous and downright bizarre” Mr. Irvine’s assertions claiming that “a rising population is something we should be celebrating” and called for creative information sharing that would help in the discovery of new resources.

He later took to Twitter and tweeted that Sandy Irvine’s speech at the conference was: “ill-informed, dangerous and downright bizarre”.

While technophile solutions were supported by some speakers others put forward stronger social justice measures.

Personal insights into charity work were given by David Golding, Coordinator of North East ‘CALL TO ACTION’, explained his advocacy of debt-release for the ‘Third World’.

Personal commitment to the cause was a common thread throughout the presentations but very different conclusions made by the conference contributors.

Widely accepted though was the PA-T formula which determines impact on the world.

Thereby, population, affluence, and

battling child prostitution in Cambodia. He appealed to the audience to get active against child abuse and to help end human trafficking.

For the first time, the annual conference at Newcastle University, organized by the International Development Society, was extended to a two-day event.

Speaking to The Courier, PresiThere was nev- dent of the InterDeveler going to be national opment Society, enough time Dominika Kwasin a weekend nicka, talked to cover all the about the event “We were key aspects of saying: so happy that development the Curtis Auditorium was well-filled as we were worried beforehand if the conference would attract enough attendants.

“The catering team also got lots of compliments as apparently the food was delicious and everything was fairtraded”.

ence around 7 plenaries, each focusing on specific development issues, while also running several workshops and seminars to ensure our delegates had enough opportunity to discuss the issues they found most vital.

“Although we managed to attract a diverse array of speakers, from academics and politicians to activists and campaigners, there was never going to be enough time in a weekend to cover all the key aspects of development.”

The society provided travel mugs to all attendees to encourage students to reuse their mugs throughout their time on campus, which is consistent with the theme of sustainability running throughout the event.

As the event went smoothly the organizers received acknowledgements from speakers and attendants alike.

The International Development Conference is set to run at the same time next year and the society is looking to recruit new members to take part in the organization process.

6.news

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

Unions should support Swansea students give their their students backing for seven day protests AMY

By Jennifer Evans The planned week of action by the National Union of Students from the 12-16 March, including a walk-out on Wednesday 14, has been openly supported by student groups at Swansea University.

However, despite lending their sup-

to confirm participation in the action, he stated that: “The Government’s recent action [raising fees] has somewhat ended the ambition of many potential students entering higher education.

However, there now seems to be a further blow to both current and potential students by the selling off of higher education to private providers.”

Finally, it may result in the companies who fund universities being able to influence the direction of research in favour of their company, resulting in the monopolisation of certain industries where big businesses can afford to fund universities.

Privatisation, according to UCU (University and College Union), leads to “derisory graduation rates, crush-

There now seems to be a further blow to both current and potential students by the selling off of higher education to private providers port, the students stated that they will not be involved in the direct action due to the fact that it coincides with the Student Union elections.

The action is not in reaction to the Government’s recent pledge to raise fees which will come into force in the new academic year, but to the privatisation of some higher education institutions.

This could see a similar system to the US imposed in Britain, where university fees range from between $15000 and $25000 for private institutions.

Both Swansea University and Swansea Metropolitan Students Unions’ Presidents have spoken of their support for the action, although Swansea Met President John Williams has yet

So, aside from fees higher than those proposed by the Government, what else could this perhaps mean for British students? Firstly, it may mean that universities will prioritise profit over the quality of education, by operating as a business instead of an educational establishment they will focus on keeping costs low and profits high by getting the cheapest labour and cheapest equipment possible and charging the highest prices for them.

Secondly, potential students from working class backgrounds could be further priced out of education than they already are, resulting in them not having access to the same job opportunities as the middle and upper classes thus reducing social mobility.

ing levels of debt and degrees of dubious value” and is certainly not value for money.

These new calls for protest seem to echo great unrest amongst the student population, not just in Swansea but across the UK. The week of action is expected to reach similar levels of participation to those seen in the student protests of 2010, which unsuccessfully campaigned against the raising of tuition fees to up to £9000.

Newcastle University Students’ Union is set to decide their stance on the forthcoming protests at Union Council in a weeks’ time with NUS President Liam Burns attending.

SHIELDS COMMENT

U

niversities should support their students in resolving their problems, whether it’s a small problem affecting one person or a national issue concerning the entire student population. In my opinion the planned NUS Week of Action is one area that the universities should actively participate in, in order to assist students in challenging this threat to their education.

The fee rises may seem to be in place for good now, but this does not mean that students, with the support of the universities, should simply sit back and accept it. If no one acts, then future governments will not make any effort to reform the laws, and there will definitely be no change. Continued unrest and debate will ensure that the tuition fees issue remains at the forefront of politicians minds until the next general election, where genuine changes could be enacted.

However, although I wholly support a week of action, I am not convinced that the universities should be supporting a mass walkout. Students abandoning lectures would

not be an effective way to demonstrate student frustration. NUS are clearly enacting it to show that the universities will be deserted if the government carries on its reforms to higher education. But, ultimately, this will be inconsequential to the government and the only people who will have been detrimentally affected will be the students who will lose important contact hours.

The universities, and particularly the students’ unions, should be working together with the student body to find a method that would force the government to listen. It is unlikely that the current government will be willing to amend the tuition fee rise; after all, thousands of students marching through London had almost no impact on their decision. However continued action will demonstrate that it can’t be swept under the rug and forgotten about.

Universities generally shy away from issues such as this, as was seen during the various occupations and protests on campuses across England. These universities need to realise that without the students, their institutions will cease to exist; Nothing will change unless universities and students stand united together; we’ve already seen that students alone are not necessarily enough, but if we can work as one, we might be able to protect the right of higher education for the many, and not just the lucky few as it is set to become.

Dementia funding for Uni researcher

By Georgina Moule A medical researcher from Newcastle University has received a £1.5 million grant to research ways to improve dementia care in the NHS. Professor Louise Robinson graduated from the Newcastle Medical School in 1985, and has worked both as a GP and in research.

Professor Robinson, described as a ‘world leader’ in ageing research

by Health Minister Anne Milton, received the funding as part of a new scheme of ‘transitional professorships’, which aim to ensure research comes into practice and directly affects patients and carers. Eight grants have been awarded to professors and researchers across the country.

With the funding Ms. Robinson aims to build on her previous research into dementia. Her project has two parts: to research different ways to treat dementia and to make a difference to sufferers, and secondly to focus on developing a more skilled and motivated NHS work force, as many healthcare professionals say they do not feel confident diagnosing and caring for sufferers.

Dementia is a common problem in England alone there are more than 570,000 sufferers. It is characterised by a decline in brain function, and those suffering from it are subject to memory loss, disorientation and may struggle controlling their emotions.

One of the most common forms of the illness is Alzheimer’s disease. Al-

though most common in those over 65, it can also occur in those below this age.

Whilst there is currently no cure for dementia, Professor Robinson is planning on researching care for sufferers in the early stages the illness, and other methods of support, such as care in the community, support for families and none-drug interventions such as cognitive retraining and memory training.

Until recently, drugs to treat dementia were usually restricted by the NHS to those in the later stages of the illness, and Ms Robinson has said: “National reports have found that treatment and care for people with dementia is sadly lacking at the moment.”

In a way similar to treatment for depression, where patients have the option of counselling or antidepressants, Professor Robinson plan is to research how a similar approach might work for dementia treatment.

In addition she aims to develop resources for NHS staff, particularly knowledge and training resources to combat a lack of confidence regarding dementia treatment.

Newcastle is one of the UK’s leading centres for research into ageing, and the Ageing Health and Society Research Group at the medical school is already well known for its work into dementia and quality of life for sufferers, as well as being internationally known for it’s work on life expectancy, and the recent grant will undoubtedly increase the centres standing in the world of medical research.

The Courier

Monday 27 February 2012

news.7

Metro barriers to be installed at West Jesmond

By Elliot Bentley Deputy Editor Several major Metro stations are set to have new gates installed in an effort to reduce the level of fare dodging.

They come as part of a £385m modernisation scheme for the entire Tyne and Wear Metro, which includes new touchscreen ticket machines that are already commonplace in Newcastle railway stations.

Ticket gates are to be installed at all city centre and major suburban stations, including Gateshead, Haymarket, Jesmond, Manors, Monument, St James, South Gosforth, West Jesmond, Heworth, North Shields and South Shields.

“Our research in this area [in fare dodging] shows that just under 5% of journeys involve illegal fare evasion,”

These new ‘smart’ ticket machines will accept credit and debit card payment and notes in addition to coins.

They will also be able to top-up Nexus’ Pop cards, which are gradually being introduced as an equivalent to London’s Oyster cards.

“It can’t be a bad thing,” said Rob Wood, a third-year Biology student who frequently travels from West Jesmond Metro. “Those machines are outdated - it’ll be a massive improvement when they can take cash notes.

I don’t reckon the fare gates are really necessary though, with the 20 quid fine.”

Annual pass Pop cards will be available for students “from the start of the next academic year”, said a Nexus representative, while ‘Pay-as-youride’ Pop cards will be available from spring 2013.

People who do this [fare-dodge] are breaking the law. We estimate we lose £1 million in fare revenue annually as a result of fraud.

A representative for Nexus, the organisation in charge of the Metro, told The Courier: “people who do this are breaking the law.

We estimate we lose around £1m in fare revenue annually as a result of fraud.” Last week Newcastle City Council approved the installation of these machines in West Jesmond as part of a full renovation of the station.

The work, which will begin in June and may last up to six months, will also include extensions of both platforms, installation of new roofs and new touchscreen ticket machines.

West Jesmond Metro station will not be closing during this work, as a Nexus representative clarified: “The work can be done without closing the station completely, but at times we may need to close one or other platform in the evenings (after 8pm).

If this happens passengers will be asked to travel on to either South Gosforth or Jesmond and then back on themselves to make their normal journey, adding between five and 15 minutes to each trip.”

CHANGING LINES

Metro users will no longer be able to get away with riding for free as the Council looks to reduce the money it loses through fare-dodging Photography: LHOON (Flickr)

8.news

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

Innovative app to combat strokes

By David Hiscocks The internationally recognised medial department at Newcastle University has developed an app to help stroke victims Now, the same team that developed FAST, has created and is trialing in Tyneside hospitals, an iPad and iPhone App called DASH II, to help decide upon stroke treatment options faster.

The vital factor when dealing with a stroke victim is speed. Following a stroke, doctors only have four and a half hours to treat the victim with clot-busting drugs.

If treatment is delayed beyond this time frame, it becomes far more likely that lasting brain damage will have been caused.

FAST is the simple four step system that allows anyone to recognise when someone has had a stroke, which are not always obvious to the uninitiated,

Job Title: Sales Assistant Employer: Van Mildert Closing date: 29.02.12 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: A Part-time Sales Assistant is required to work 12 hours per week at the store in the Metrocentre. Main duties will consist of stock replenishment, liaising with customers, meeting targets and carrying out other general store duties.

Person requirements: The ideal candidate should have previous retail experience and good communication skills. You would also have to be able to work during the week between 10am-6pm Mon-Fri. Location: Gateshead.

Job Title: PR Team Members Employer: Frankie and Benny’s Closing date: 15.03.12 Salary: Competitive Basic job description: We are looking for experienced PR Staff in Newcastle City Centre. We are looking for outgoing and confident team members to promote our great restaurants in Newcastle. Duties will include leafleting, promotional activities as well as restaurant work as and when required.

Person requirements: You will be outgoing, friendly, able to sell and genuinely enjoy meeting and communicating with people.

Candidates must be flexible and able to work during the day and in the evening as well as on weekends. If you have sales experience - this might be the job for you.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Advice and Support Worker Employer: Your Homes Newcastle Closing date: 01.03.12 Salary: £22,221- £25,472 per annum, pro-rata Basic job description: Your Homes Newcastle require an Advice and Support Worker to work 18.5 hours per week. Main responsibilities include: To provide housing related support to vulnerable people. This includes providing practical support to sustain a tenancy, help with access to welfare benefits and assistance with debt issues.

Person requirements: We are looking for people who are team players with a drive for achievement, a strong customer focus and

and is seen on NHS adverts today.

In the same way that FAST is designed to speed up treatment time by getting the stroke victim into a hospital as quickly as possible, DASH II is designed to speed up treatment time once the patient is in the doctor’s care.

FAST is the People who simple four have had a step system stroke in the that allows brain, caused anyone to rec- by a blood clot, can be given ognise when thinning someone has blood drugs known as had stroke; t h romb olyt ics which are not which can help permaalways obvious prevent nent damage to the brain.

However, there are important variables to take into account which can affect risk factors, such as the age, weight, severity of stroke and blood

appropriate business and financial acumen to help us exceed our goals.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Casual Receptionist Employer: Vertu Motors Plc Closing date: 28.02.12 Salary: £6.08 per hour Basic job description: We are looking for an enthusiastic and highly flexible individual to join our Reception team at Team Valley, Gateshead. This is a casual contract to cover absence and annual leave of our permanent colleagues.

Person requirements: The successful individual will possess the following attributes: Exceptional Communication skills, Diplomacy Skills, High Customer Focus, High Standards of Presentation and Telephone Handling Skills.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Historic Properties Stewards Employer: English Heritage Closing date: 04.03.12 Salary: £12,802 pro rata Basic job description: A Historic Properties Steward is required to work part-time hours at Tynemouth Priory. You will be required to maximise visitors’ enjoyment of English Heritage managed sites by maintaining excellent standards of service, optimising opportunities to generate income and ensuring that the site and its assets are safe and secure.

Person requirements: The ideal candidate will have customer service experience, work well as part of a team, experience of retail sales and able to prioritize own work and meet deadlines.

Location: Tynemouth.

Job Title: Serving Staff (x20) Employer: Gem Partnership Ltd. Closing date: 15.03.12 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: Gem Hospitality are looking for 20 serving staff for a formal event which will be held at Gosforth Park Marriott Hotel on the afternoon of Sunday 18th March.

The shift will start at 12:45pm, end times to

pressure of the patient.

These risk factors can be difficult to explain to a patient’s family during the difficult time in the immediate aftermath of a family member’s stroke.

DASH II aims to make the decision process easier.

When the relevant medical information is put into the app: “it provides a visual interpretation of the risks and benefits for the patient which are displayed as a coloured pictograph, bar chart or flow diagram which helps the medical team explain the predicted likelihood of recovery, moderate or severe disability, or death with or without thrombolysis”.

According to Chris Day, Director of Newcastle Biomedicine: “Newcastle Biomedicine is at the forefront of the Translational Medicine revolution.

Its principal aim is to translate scientific advances made in the Faculties at Newcastle University into direct benefits for patients being treated in our partner NHS Trusts”.

be confirmed with employer. There may be opportunities for additional casual work, following successful completion of this shift.

Person requirements: This is a formal event therefore successful candidates must wear a smart black shirt, smart black trousers and smart flat black shoes for the event.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Information Assistants Employer: NHS Closing date: 01.03.12 Salary: £13,903 to £17,003 pro rata Basic job description: The Child Health Information Team is looking to recruit Information Assistants to work part-time hours.

The main purpose of the role is to work in a team of staff using following computerised information systems: Child Health Information System, Patient Administration System, Single Care Record System and NHS Number Central Issue System. You will be responsible for accurate input of quality data, and dissemination of output, accountable for meeting requirements in respect of data protection and Health and Safety.

Person requirements: The successful candidates must have excellent communication and organisational skills. Team working and the ability to meet deadlines while maintaining confidentiality at all times is essential. The successful candidates will be experienced in using computerised patient information systems. They will be responsible for prioritising own workload.

Location: North Shields Job Title: Supervisory Assistant Employer: Gateshead Council Closing date: 02.03.12 Salary: £12,787 - £13,589 pro rata Basic job description: A Supervisory Assistant is required to work 6.25 hours per week at St Joseph’s Catholic Infant School, Birtley.

You will be expected to supervise children during lunchtimes working 1hr 15mins per day.

Person requirements: Training will be given on Child Protection and Safeguarding. If successful, you will have to apply for an enhanced Disclosure.

Location: Gateshead.

APP-TASTIC SAVIOUR

The DASH II iPhone and iPad app will allow everyday users to identify and preliminary treat individuals who have suffered strokes Photography: Newcastle University

Burrows’ borrowing results in ridicule

By Charlie Scott The Sports Editor of Bristol University’s student newspaper Epigram, Tom Burrows, has stepped down from his position after being found guilty last week of plagiarising the work of the blog Football Clichés.

Burrows’ article, ‘‘Box ’em in boys: A bluffer’s guide to Sunday League football clichés”, was published by Epigram last week on 20 February, a full year after Football Clichés had published their original piece “Where’s the Talking?!”

It did not take long for Burrows’ plagiarism to be exposed on Twitter by Adam Hurrey, the writer of the original piece.

Not only did Burrows’ copy the idea and large chunks of text from Hurrey, he then sent his article to a number of leading football journalists in an attempt to create greater publicity for it.

This was when Hurrey, who has his

Twitter account formatted to search for the term ‘football clichés’, found out Burrows had copied his work.

The original author of the piece also put Burrows’ article through an online plagiarism checker that confirmed that over 70% of Burrows’ article was lifted from his original piece.

Hurrey drew attention to Burrows’ article by tweeting it to his followers, and it was not long before Epigram had received a number of complaints via email and on Twitter about Burrows’ wrongdoing.

The Epigram Editor, Tom Flynn, wrote an apology via the newspaper’s website on 21 February, that will also be included in their next print edition, explaining how, “Epigram does not and will not condone or tolerate plagiarism in any form’ and describing how he had ‘asked him [Tom] to step down from his position as Sport Editor with immediate effect, to which he agreed.”

The Courier

nationalnews.9

Monday 27 February 2012

Teenagers lose High Court battle over tuition fees rise

By Aine Stott and Leanne Penning Two students have lost their legal battle to overturn the increase in tuition fees.

Katy Moore studies Biology, Chemistry, Maths and History, with the hope of becoming a research scientist, and Callum Hurley is undertaking a BTEC in Software Development with aspirations to go on and study IT. The case was constructed on the basis that the increase would breach aspects of the Human Rights Act of 1998.

This legislation dictates that everyone has a right to education without discrimination.

Hurley and Moore argued that the rise in fees would prevent those from poorer backgrounds applying to university, increasing the gap between rich and poor as well as reducing social mobility.

Their lawyers argued that the “decision to increase the cap on university fees was unlawful, and should be quashed”.

Although the High Court ruled out

reconsidering the amount students will pay for tuition fees this coming academic year, stating that it would “not be appropriate”, they did agree that the Government had been, to a certain extent, unfair and failed to comply with equality obligations, during the consultation and implementation of the new policy.

teenagers, expressed disappointment in the failure to quash the new regulations.

However, she was pleased that the Government were criticised for some of their actions, saying: “In its ruling the court made a clear declaration that the Government, when it passed the regulations increasing tuition fees,

The case was made that the [fees] increase breached aspects of the Human Rights Act of 1998 which dictates that everyone has a right to education without discrimination Vince Cable, the Government’s Business Secretary, was criticised for his failure to carry out his public sector duties regarding equality before instigating the increase.

Despite the defeat, Katy remained upbeat and in a statement said: “I am very pleased with the outcome. For the court to recognise that the government’s actions were unlawful is a great achievement”.

Tessa Gregory, who represented the

failed to comply with its public sector equality duties.”

The Government regarded the decision positively, rejecting any suggestion that the increase of fees breached equality or human rights laws.

When questioned on his view, Liam Burns, President of the National Union of Students, declared that this was not the end of the attacks on the “Government’s disastrous higher education policies”.

Campus toilets popularly used for ‘cottaging’

By Rebecca Goor University of Leeds Three years after a sex attack in the toilets of the Parkinson building at Leeds University, it has been revealed that the site is part of an underground gay sex network.

Despite the university installing CCTV around the toilets following the attack in 2009, the networking site www.squirt.org lists the toilets as a popular venue for ‘cottaging’.

‘Cottaging’ is the term given to anonymous encounters between gay men in public toilets – an activity that was made illegal under the 2003 Sexual Offences Act. There is now a concern for innocent users of the toilet facilities, with the website warning non-‘cottagers’ to ‘go here at your peril’.

Two less notorious toilet blocks on campus were also rated as popular by squirt.org. Questioned about the university’s management of the issue, Head of Security Alan Cain claimed that current CCTV surveillance and regular patrols are a “proportional response to the problem”.

41 students conned out of college summer job wages University of Cambridge A group of Cambridge University students have still not received payment for work they carried out for the “The Cambridge College Programme” last summer.

The 41 students, owed between £1000 and £2000 each, have now taken out a UK Tribunal against the programme’s director, Taryn Edwards.

One student, Hannah Alderton, commented that through legal action the group “intended to prevent the exploitation of other students” through the seemingly attractive opportunity.

However, as Edwards, from Lake Forest Illinois, operates her business in the US, the Tribunal lacks legal power to enforce payment.

The Tribunal informed the students that Edwards was “experiencing financial difficulties” preventing her from fulfilling the company’s obligations.

Yet, shockingly, the 2012 programme is still being advertised online.

Edwards also allegedly owes a number of other Cambridge colleges and institutions including boathouses for accommodation and services used by her company.

Leeds gets technical over tackling bike theft University of Leeds As part of a joint scheme between Leeds University, Leeds Metropolitan University and West Yorkshire Police to tackle bike theft, a number of tracker bikes are to be placed across the two university campuses.

The bikes, embedded with a GPS chip, will allow police to immediately track the location of thieves.

The scheme comes as a response to rising bike crime at both universities, with an average of one bike theft every two days last term.

Leeds University in particular experienced 52 bicycle thefts between September and December 2011.

The exact number of ‘dummy’ bikes is unknown, but Andrew GordonPlatt, Crime Prevention Officer for the University of Leeds, stated that there are “several” tracker bikes around at once as part of a wider plan to improve bicycle security.

Water balloons lead to campus brawl over Palestinian protests London School of Economics What began as a peaceful protest by the London School of Economics (LSE) Students’ Union Palestine Society soon escalated into a violent brawl as fights broke out after protestors were pelted with water balloons.

One participant was punched in the face during the chaos.

Trouble began as mock checkpoints were set up around campus by the Palestine Society, aiming to “recreate the conditions Palestinians have to face on a day-to-day basis”, according to one member. The society claims that members or supporters of the Students’ Union Jewish Society were responsible for the attacks, although the society has condemned the actions.

On its website, the Students’ Union issued a statement that the “Students’ Union believes in the right to peaceful protest but condemns the violence.”

Photography: José Rodríguez and bthomso (Flickr)

10.comment THE NEWS THAT MADE ME EMILY RAE

#3 - Question the motive of burglars, and my flatmates too What would you do if you came back to your flat to find that someone had folded your clothes, swept the floor and cooked you dinner? Personally I would think I’d walked into the wrong flat. I certainly wouldn’t think it was a burglar – my mum perhaps, but not a burglar.

In Indianapolis this week, a woman and her son came home to find a random guy lurking in their kitchen.

Scared he was stealing their prize possessions or would hurt them; they ran away and called the police. However, what they didn’t realise is that he was merely completing some mundane household chores.

I don’t know about you but if I came home to a tall handsome stranger cooking me a broth in the kitchen I wouldn’t complain. But I’m living in University accommodation with four other students so alas, unless my boyfriend’s come up as a surprise, the chances of this happening are very slim. Realistically, I’m more likely to come back to my plates dirty, a stack of dominoes boxes and a mysterious Tupperware box yielding what used to be lasagne.

Living with four strangers has undoubtedly proved an amazing experience, but also a baffling one. I wouldn’t say I have OCD - however I’d say I take a minimalist approach. My bedroom features many a storage box, pot and container. It’s fine, I really can deal with mess – as long as it’s hidden in a pretty box.

In terms of the kitchen, student life has done wonders for my cooking.

I’ve moved past the pasta-a-day stage, and have now started experimenting with homemade soups. When I say experiment, I mean throw in any odd shaped vegetables I can find.

Meanwhile, the Police reported that the burglar was cooking up some chicken and onions when found, if only he’d have hurried up a little and finished the mash. One guy in my flat literally doesn’t even set foot in the kitchen. It’s not that he’s on the whole “make me a sandwich bitch” brigade, I think he genuinely thinks Greek food is superior. Bless him. Despite the rest of his country falling down around his feet, he manages to eat out all the time. Not going to deter him, one less person equals more fridge space.

Luckily I haven’t had to deal with my food being stolen, but the family from Indianapolis did. The cheeky imposter helped himself to a carton of orange juice after completing his chores. Personally I think that’s a pretty good deal. If I was getting a nice dinner and was able to put my feet up I wouldn’t mind him having a cheeky glass of my Value Tropical Juice.

Despite mocking the Police interfering with this burglary, I am not advocating theft. The burglar was charged with breaking and entering and as he sadly kept insisting it was his own house, is having to go under a psychological evaluation. Talking of psychological evaluations, I’m thinking of arranging one for my flatmate, who during the Christmas holidays started to take, I quote, ‘naked heat showers’. Apparently this involves standing starkers in our living room between two radiators to dry off after a shower.

Feels kind of weird sitting on the sofas now, not gonna lie.

Monday 27 February 2012 The Courier

Facebook: Time to sort your life out MIRANDA DOBSON

W

hat would you change if your Facebook timeline was sent out to potential employers instead of your CV? I think most of us would change our ‘Malia ‘09’ photo album to private first, that’s for sure.

With recent advances to the social networking site being made compulsory in coming weeks, it’s time to put your profile on lock down.

Not only is Facebook an addictive distraction, but it could directly result in you losing out on that dream graduate job. Facebook’s new timeline feature is soon to be rolled out to all users, regardless of whether they want it or not.

This will make it much easier for your “life story”, as Facebook calls it, to be accessed. With over half of employers openly admitting that they use social media to check out applicants,

The visiblity facebook now gives us strikes the fear of god into me hopeful graduates had better delve into their Facebook closets and dig out any lurking skeletons.

Personally, the visibility Facebook now gives us strikes the fear of God into me. The ticker feature was a bit much, providing a type of nanny

state surveillance that could induce paranoia on the scale of a marijuana fuelled, jealous lover on Jeremy Kyle.

Added to this, users’ histories will be accessible from when they first joined the site. The timeline feature allows those who can see your profile to select any year and see all photographs, status updates, wall posts and ‘Likes’.

When the change is implemented, users will have a week to edit their profile before it goes web-wide. This does threaten users with being exposed by their own online personas circa 2007, with past years being so accessible.

Some may argue that a company looking at applicants online is an invasion of privacy, however, I say, you reap what you sow. If you don’t have the good sense to clean out a backlog of “frapes” and incriminating photographs circulating in cyber space, then you only have yourself to blame.

Employers are completely within their rights, according to current laws, to use Facebook to do background checks. Inevitably, they are going to choose somebody who represents themselves in a light which is in-keep-

ing with their company. And I say fair enough.

Having recently sent off my own applications for jobs and courses after graduation, and with my technophobia growing, I decided to Google myself. The worst that came of it was my childhood dance school’s website proclaiming that in 2003 I received a Grade C in a ballet exam. Embarrassing on all counts, but I hope not grounds for a rejection.

For some, being tracked on Facebook or Twitter may even be a good thing. If you’re timid or find interviews difficult, some intelligent tweets or status updates may even be in your favour. However, if most of your social networking experience consists of “@JohnSmith can’t wait to chin this bin of vodka and chunder everywhere”, I would double bolt your privacy settings.

Emails in response to articles should be sent to: editor.union@ncl.ac.uk

Stereotypes shouldn’t be on our screens

Vogue for mockumentaries reveals a worrying trend in TV GYPSY WEDDING Newlyweds make

LAURA WOTTON

a spectacle of themselves Photography: Anxiousgeek

S

ettling down to watch the new series of ‘Big Fat Gypsy Weddings’ was to me like any other of my programmes of preference; a smattering of light entertainment in the time lapse before tea.

Yet in the light of a recent letter to Channel 4 written by a 17 year-old traveller, my evening’s ‘light entertainment’ became branded with the crude stigma of ridicule. Far from its proclaimed ‘window into the extravagant and surprising world of gypsies’, it simply remains one of the ‘mockmentaries’ currently plaguing British TV. The question remains as to whether current TV producers retain some sort of smug satisfaction in coarsely publicizing the supposed ‘easy targets’ of British society. Certainly ITV and even the ‘prestigious’ world of the BBC wilted under the public thirst for ridicule, with the airing of infamous hit series’ ‘Geordie Shore’, ‘The Only Way is Essex’ and ‘Made in Chelsea’, specifically designed to cheapen the existences of certain British ‘microcultures’.

Craftily edited and insensitively manipulated, the programmes serve solely as an ‘amusing’ intrusion into people’s lives, branding their location with unsavory attributes that are rashly applied to the general population of the chosen area.

Yet the letter written by the 17 yearold Romany traveller, who calls himself ‘Pip’, exemplifies the very worst element of these addictive documentaries; the desertion of truth.

Channel 4, in the airing of ‘Big Fat Gypsy Weddings’, has entirely ‘the wrong end of the stick’ in incorrectly defining gypsy culture as a Carlsbergdrinking, prison-frequenting bunch of obtrusive settlers seeking to defy the law at any given opportunity. The high drop-out rate of gypsy children from the education system appears

to have misled British population as a direct consequence of rash and heedless parents, yet never do we pause to consider that such communities are victim to a social exclusion from the state schools’ ‘mainstream culture’.

The proclaimed 99% of Irish in Britain’s traveller population is essentially also a false figure, as only a mere 10% of these travellers are indeed Irish.

British TV, in my eyes, has well and truly outdone itself. This inflation and subsequent disfiguration of these ethnic attributes is pathetic; whilst making a mockery of its subjects, TV producers also stab themselves in the back by producing almost ‘fictional’ programmes that go against the traditional perception of what comprises a documentary.

The apparent abandonment of censoring has led to a controversial stream of allegations aimed at show bosses, the website ‘Mumsnet’ strongly condemned the exposure of 8 year old gypsy girls ‘gyrating to music’ and dressed as ‘common prostitutes’. Indeed it comes as no surprise that numerous travellers have criticized such indecent exposure for broadcasting ‘disgusting stereotypes’ that have little or no relation to the general ethnic group. Certainly the newest episode of this controversial series promised to ‘get to the very heart of gypsy life’ which subsequently provided an hour’s ‘entertainment’ concerning premature marriage, court cases and illegal horse racing.

Many would declare Channel 4 has

no place to defend such allegations yet, despite the evident coarseness of their material, they claim that ‘the films are celebratory and [...] never derogatory’. Certainly, as a minority group, the gypsy culture is perhaps one to be documented and, although suggested otherwise, much of the material was allegedly ‘repeatedly witnessed first hand’. Whether we are to see such ‘mockumentaries’ as purely ‘works of fiction’ putting ratings above human dignity or simply as a misinterpretation in gaging the culture of a minority group, Channel 4 amongst other producers has, in my opinion, destroyed the quality of British TV and made ‘light entertainment’ into a crude charade at the expense of its victims.

The Courier

Monday 27 February 2012

Comment

Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor Jack Torrance courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk

Is religion too marginalised in society?

FINDING THE BALANCE Should secularisa-

tion loosen its grip?

Cartoon: Luke Henman and Chris Harrison

JAMES TITLEY

YES “

W

e don’t do God”, those were the famous words of Tony Blair’s former spin doctor Alistair Campbell, a statement which seems to embody how religion has become a taboo subject in Britain. I myself am religious, but I refuse to side with other Christians in claiming we are somehow persecuted in this country.

To me such an assertion is ludicrous and frankly an insult to the plight of Christians in countries such as Egypt, Iraq and China.

Nonetheless I feel it is undeniable that religion is viewed with a great deal of suspicion and trepidation in Britain. Examples of religion being marginalised are numerous: in 2006 Nadia Eweida was put on unpaid leave

by British Airways for wearing a crucifix to work; In 2008 Oxford council banned the word Christmas from its festive celebrations, renaming it “The Winter Light Festival”; Most recently

of course there was the case of Bideford Town council in Devon, where the high court ruled they had broken the law by having prayers before meetings.

Even to a staunch atheist these decisions must appear absurd and a waste of time. When asked about their actions, councils and employers frequently revert to the old excuse that they wish not to offend other cultures.

Yet this reasoning is groundless and frankly paranoid as the majority of non- Christians take no offence to prayer or the sight of a cross. No better example can be provided than that of Baroness Warsi, a Muslim, who visited Rome this week to tell the Pope she believed the Church should have a greater role in society.

To me this ostracism of faith is largely down to ignorance. How many councillors that ban the term ‘Christmas’ are aware that Jesus is actually a prophet in Islam? Understandably, there are many who are only exposed to religion at its most volatile, e.g. the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and thus deem all religion lunacy. Yet to tar all theists under the same brush is surely lunacy in itself. How can you put Rowan Williams and Osama Bin Laden in the same category; they both have large beards but that is where the similarity ends.

To clarify, I feel religious expression has to be kept within the law. In 2008 Peter and Hazelmary Bull were convicted for not allowing a gay couple stay in their B&B. To me this ruling was correct as the couple’s religious expression amounted to clear dis-

crimination. Yet when one looks at the banning of prayer and religious symbols, it seems they are being eradicated not because they are offensive, but because they are simply religious.

This marginalisation clearly stems out of anxiety, yet in truth there is little to fear. The fact is religious extremists make up a miniscule proportion of the faiths in Britain. In general, religious institutions do great service to this nation: the Church of England is easily the largest volunteer force in Britain, contributing to numerous charities and outreach programmes.

In these times of austerity the last thing we should do is have these institutions side-lined, rather, they should be encouraged.

NIKESH JANI

NO

A

modern liberal democracy is one in which everyone is equal and in which no group of people should dominate others. How can Britain claim to be such a country when religious belief

still holds so much sway in society?

There have been numerous attacks on secularism in the UK in recent days, most prominently by Baroness Warsi in an address to the Pope claiming that “militant secularisation is [...] deeply intolerant”.

This echoes claims by many of the religious elite that Britain is predominantly a Christian country that needs to return to religious values.

At any given chance, people of strong faith would jump to point out that 72% of people aligned themselves with Christianity in the 2001 census, but this figure is grossly misleading.

Research carried out by Ipsos MORI for the Foundation of Reason and Science shows that only 30% of people who ticked the Christian box in the 2001 census thought of themselves as strongly religious, with 50% having no religious belief.

Most importantly, 92% agreed the law should apply to everyone equally, regardless of their personal religious beliefs. These results promote the fact that Britain is intrinsically a secular society.

The views of the general population are constantly being ignored by a small minority of religious people who are trying to hold onto privileges they can’t justify.

Organised religion needs to stop claiming a monopoly on moral decency and it needs to stop trying to skew the concept of morality to fit in with their own beliefs.

In relation to Baroness Warsi’s comments, any suggestion that secularism is intolerant is frankly bizarre. Some

religious organisations talk about upholding equality then when measures are taken they refuse to accept equality laws when they’re enshrined in law. Take, for example, the Catholic Church closing all of its adoption agencies in England, rather than conform to laws that ban discrimination against same sex couples.

Religious groups aren’t above the law and shouldn’t be allowed to act as if they are.

The head of the EHRC (Equality and Human Rights Commission), Trevor Phillips, put it perfectly in saying that the law shouldn’t tell religious organisations how to run behind closed doors, but faith groups have “to play by the rules”.

This underlines the point that I’m trying to make; secularism isn’t about eradicating religious belief, it’s a way of not allowing one group’s personal beliefs to infringe on the personal lives of others who do not share those same views.

Some claim that the overarching legacy of British society is its Christian traditions.

However, Britain’s historical legacy should surely be one of individual freedom, the idea that you are free to do what you want as long as you don’t infringe on other peoples liberty.

Secularism is simply that; allowing religion to dominate public life allows the right of one group to force its views on everyone else. Faith is no longer the central force in English society, and policymakers need to stop imposing beliefs that aren’t shared by the majority of people in society.

12.

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

Ticking over with Metronomy

Pretty much the only cool thing to have ever emerged from Devon, Joe Mount and co. talk success, reinvention and how to avoid Northumberland Street’s charity collectors.

Minutes before they head on-stage for the Newcastle date of the NME Awards Tour, Music Editor Ben Travis goes backstage for a catch-up with one of Britain’s most excitingly diverse bands.

Joe: “A de of 201 le was #1 [ studen 1 list]? O in your A lb h ts wer e mea no, I thoughums nt to b t e cool !”

From one-man-and-his-laptop making glitchy, experimental electronics to one of the UK’s most forward-looking electro-indie bands, Metronomy have come a long way since 2006’s Pip Paine (Pay The £5000 You Owe).

Last year’s genre-melding The English Riviera moved them from beyond the ‘nu-rave’ pigeon-hole they found themselves in after cult hit Nights Out, emerging as a sleek, funky band unafraid to indulge in ‘70s rock influences and pop melodies alongside the already-established synths. With tonnes of acclaim, a Mercury Prize nomination, numerous appearances on ‘Best of 2011’ lists (including a #2 spot in these very pages), and a slot on the NME Awards Tour, it’s fair to say that Metronomy have finally hit the big time.

“Wait, what was #1?”, asks founding member (and now frontman) Joe Mount.

It was Adele.

“Oh no! I thought students were supposed to be cool,” he laughs.

Fictionalising Mount’s homeland of Devon as some sort of hip, dramatic coastal town, The English Riviera’s semi-autobiographical leanings have helped the album catch the attention it rightfully deserves.

“It’s weird, it’s personal but it’s not that personal really,” muses Mount. “But I think it’s great, I think that possibly had something to do with its success. I also think that for a band like us it was always going to be the sort of record we’d release after Nights Out. At the time the last record came out there were lots of other bands that were doing kind of similar things – now there’s much more space for us, in a way.”

With Nights Out providing a perfect wonkyelectro soundtrack to a good, erm, night out, The English Riviera’s more relaxed, subtle approach builds upon (without betraying) Metronomy’s past. The scale of the album’s success has even taken the band by surprise.

“I had the feeling of things kind of getting… better,” Mount recalls. “But then, you wouldn’t want to expect anything like that, because nine times out of ten you’ll be disappointed. You always hope that your album’s going to do well, and I think I probably felt like it should do well, but it still has taken us by surprise really.”

The Courier

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Monday 27 February 2012

Part of that success can surely be attributed to the album’s nomination for the Mercury Prize.

“The day after that was announced, we went away to the States and all of a sudden it was like anywhere in the world that we went, like when we were in Asia in January, people were still asking about it,” says ridiculously cool bassist Gbenga Adelekan. “You realise you’ve gotten on to a lot more peoples’ radars through being nominated.”

Having been swept along in the arguably industry-constructed ‘nu-rave’ banner, Metronomy managed to stay afloat amongst the wave of one-hit-wonders flooding through the pages of NME for their fifteen minutes of fame.

“It actually did us a lot of favours,” admits Mount. “The thing is, you know yourself that there’s more to you than that genre, so you just have to kind of sit it out really. You kind of feel sorry for bands that had one record around that

bobs,” adds Joe. just listening to Nights Out constantly, thinking “There’s far more than four people on that how the hell am I going to do album, people came in and did like this? I was on the other versions-” begins District Line Gbenga, before he’s every day le interrupted by the harity peop meet- trying to c y n a m o s are , I’m dressing room learn it Oscar: Thereest lie is just to say ‘oh with that. door flying all.” b e gu the open.

“It was here. I �ind ne’ - they can’t really arys lying...

“Hiya!” kind of ing someo u’re lying, you’re alwa It’s soontricky looking But yo to-be-massive back,” recollects fellow NME tour long-time member Oscar. artist Azealia Banks of “When it was the three of us we ‘212’ fame. had a computer, and so to re-imagine it like that “You guys were so good last night! I know I is quite difficult but I think it worked really well don’t need to say good luck but I just wanted - Anna did a really good thing to look at you guys… I’m just waiting for the the way she plays it, and Gbenga bathroom, I go on in five minutes, I’ll see you too. It had to be different.” guys in a bit!”

“We had a finite amount of time to work things out, so we worked things out to a point where it wouldn’t be embarrassing to play in front of people, and we worked out the fine details later,” explains Adelekan. “I think if we’d had more time we’d Barely pausing for breath, she’s already gone. have fretted over it a lot Only a few days into the tour, it seems the more, this way we just had bands are already getting along swimmingly. to do it.”

“I kind of met Tribes the other day,” says Now with a more stable drummer Anna Prior. line-up it’s possible that “I was sat watching Two Door Cinema Club new material might be written in a with them, and I ended up just high fiving all of more collaborative manner. them,” she cringes. “I was like ‘what have I just “We should try writing as the four of us, it done?’” would be quite interesting. I’ve got some ideas Back to the interview. and we’re going to try and do some more reWith ‘Metronomy’ being a collective of rotathearsals,” says Mount. “Before it was always like ing members (from one member, to three for ‘this is the song’ and people would do the parts, Nights Out and the current four-piece lineso I think it would be quite nice at this point up), the challenge of phasing out the laptops to… not jam, but-” and bringing in live interpretations has been “Just for the record, we are against jamming!” considerable. laughs an interjecting Gbenga.

“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, it re“-to kind of play stuff from this point, because ally was,” admits Anna. “I just had a normal job the way that the old songs turned into the way in London and I was commuting on the tube we play them now, they’re reworked in a way for around 18 stops, it was taking ages so I was that works in a band. I think it’ll be more en-

“I keep meaning to make a pilgrimage to St. James’ Park, my girlfriend’s a big Newcastle supporter [...] since they changed the name it’s kind of embarrassing.”

time and haven’t done anything else and now probably won’t.”

With the hype around this new breed of effectively-indie-music-but-with-a-few-moresynths-and-drugs sounding a death-rattle with the Klaxons’ second effort Surfing The Void, Metronomy were left to make exactly the sort of album they wanted.

“There was no real pressure - because the last record wasn’t really a massive hit, no-one was really saying ‘oh, they have to live up to that’,” Joe says. “You get a bit nervous of what people are going to think, but the whole thing about doing this record was doing it with confidence, because that’s really the only way of doing something that sounds good.”

“It was like an open studio,” recalls Gbenga.

“I would be in the studio working, and people would come in as and when to record bits and

We worked things out to a point where it wouldn’t be embarrassing to play in front of people and we worked out the �ine details later

- Gbenga

compassing of all the three albums, but I don’t really know to be honest,” concludes Joe. In the meantime, the band are finding ways to create a coherent setlist from three brilliant but sonically-disparate albums.

“Working out how to do the first album was even harder, there’s only really one that we play from that,” Mount says. “It would be nice to have the time to really work into some of that stuff. The goal is that by the time we end up doing festivals this summer, there’ll be a more rational set-up to be able to pick and choose from all the albums.”

Despite it having been a rainy Thursday, Oscar speaks of his afternoon adventures venturing out onto Northumberland street.

“There are so many charity people here! And you do that thing where you try and avoid one, and then there’s another one there. I’m working on it though, I find the best lie is just to say ‘oh, I’m meeting someone’, and if they say ‘it only takes a minute’, it’s like ‘I’m not going to leave my friend waiting’. They can’t really argue with that can they?

But you’re lying, you’re always lying…”

“I always say, ‘I already gave you money’, but I don’t really give it to anyone,” claims Joe. “When I was single I used to give time to the attractive ones – ‘I haven’t got time right now, I’m meeting a friend, but maybe later, at dinner?’”

Any other experiences of our fair city?

“I went for a walk up to the Monument earlier on, but I just ended up getting really wet,” Mount says with little enthusiasm.

“I keep meaning to make a pilgrimage to St. James’ Park, my girlfriend’s a big Newcastle supporter, but the weather was so crap today,” Gbenga says.

Does he mean the ‘Sports Direct Arena’?

“That’s the other thing, since they changed the name it’s kind of embarrassing.”

14.

Monday 27 February 2012 The Courier

‘By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out’

The chemistry of comedy

Robin Ince talks people, politics and podcasts, explaining why science and comedy aren’t actually at opposite ends of the spectrum.

also great in its own way as I think one side of comedy has become so mainstream, and I don’t mean that as an insult, I just mean you can now get 12,000 people a night going along to see it, which has allowed the kind of alternative world to really grow and develop and you now have people like Jose Long and Stuart Lee. In the same way as the alternative comedy that rose up in 1979 was a reaction to something, I feel the same thing is now being allowed to happen again.’’

How did you and your material develop as your career progressed?

‘‘It’s not really as rubbish as it used to be! It’s not really as awful. What happened was, I gave my material a lot more focus in the last few years really, especially in the last 10 years, and I knew exactly what I wanted to talk about.’’ But what about beforehand? ‘‘I just used to love stand-up and I’d just try out different jokes and styles, and fill the set however I could, although I did have a slight preference for politics and the material tended to skew towards that.’’ Then from actually liking what I was doing and ended up 2004, he started to have more material specifigoing downhill. So I spent most of the nineties cally on science and philosophy with doing lots of different bits of stand-up, elements of politics. ‘‘So now my and then towards the end of the shows, at the Edinburgh fringe nineties started doing a little bit ne for example, I’ll normally o of writing for television and e n o y ver e do three or four shows and k doing TV warm-up and n n e u h p “W ng i n i have each one specifically on o things like that’’. j p s u else wa ot into standeither science, or philosophy It was at that point Robin g or living in modern society. almost gave up stand-up, bands I comedy’ But yeah, my preference is really as the circuit itself had science specked with philosophy.’’ become a lot more commercial and had changed into something which was a lot more Having seen you live and heard professional and he felt some of the excitement you on numerous podcasts, it does had gone.

With a live performance in Newcastle just around the corner Chris Scott talks to Robin Ince about being the veteran of comedy, and how he still sees the controversial as the utterly inspirational. sorts of comedies going on back when channel Few comics have dared to try 4 was an alternative channel, imagine that!’’ and span the chasm between the Robin started going to watch stand-up when he was 15 years old in subterranean clubs and bars worlds of science and comedy, south London. ‘‘It was the most exciting and even fewer have done so suc- around thing going on around my teenage years; in the cessfully. Throughout his career same way that people growing up during punk in the comedy circuit, Robin has went on to start bands, I went into comedy. managed to fuse these two oppos- That’s what really drew me to it.’’ ing forces into a successful stand- What was it like starting out as a up, and worked on a plethora of comedian? Did you jump straight other projects and media. into doing stand-up, or writing?

So what made you get into comedy as a career? ‘‘I think it was because when I was growing up as a teenager, the whole alternative comedy thing was very exciting to me and to my generation, it was almost like what punk was to the teenagers growing up in the seventies. At the time, there was ‘The Young Ones’ and those

‘‘I started off on the stand-up circuit in the early nineties, and I found it really difficult to telephone other people, so initially I just stuck to the same three clubs as I didn’t want to call anyone else. But I ended up doing a thing called ‘So you think you’re funny’ up in Edinburgh which is still running today I think, which was one of the first real things I did in which I ended up coming second.’’ But this initial shine began to wear off: ‘‘I found myself not

I guess you would have seen more stand-up gigs at smaller venues and lesser known clubs initially then? ‘‘Yeah, well it’s only been in the last 10 years, more so in the last five years really, where we’ve seen this whole stadium thing kick off which is

seem that elements like religion, atheism, science and politics manage to creep into your material.

‘‘Well, more like they punch their way into the material as opposed to creep in more often than not, but it’s interesting because in the new show I’m doing, with the atheist side of the material,

The Courier

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Monday 27 February 2012

I’ve tried to put things in explaining that the lunatics you imagine from television are made up, and television has a habit of creating this image of religious people always backing into atheist people and the media often creates a heightened, more melodramatic version of this ‘conflict’.’’ So what’s the most important message in your material? ‘‘In my opinion it’s about not being dogmatic, instead keeping an open mind and not to go: ‘I believe this because it’s in a certain book’ for whatever reason, and just instead be more open-minded. As the saying goes, ‘By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out’.’’

Do you have any horror stories from the early days? ‘‘Generally it was just moments of possible violence which were pretty scary.’’ Robin clearly remembers a particular gig over in Ireland; ‘‘I remember a gig I had at the Belfast Empire where I was actually booed on, not booed off; they were already throwing insults as I went on to the stage before I had even started. And I had never played there before so it wasn’t as if they knew I was bad or anything.’’ How did you get out of that? ‘‘I ended up just standing there for half an hour enduring it. But I think throughout my entire career, even on the worst nights, I’ve always done my allotted time and always dug my heels in. Belfast was fascinating as they were throwing stuff and there was a sort of crowd rage going, it was the week before Christmas so everyone had been drinking since 3pm and by this time it was 9.30pm, so most of the crowd were just drunk and furious, but after the performance, because I’d done my time people were actually coming over to me and buying me a drink and saying ‘well done’, even though they hadn’t laughed at all. Because I’d done my time on stage, it became one of those strange noble and pointless gestures I guess.’’

Well I’m sure in Newcastle we’ll be kinder to you when you’re on stage. ‘‘Well, I’m really excited to be performing in Newcastle, especially at The Stand which is a fantastic club, the ones in Glasgow and Edinburgh are brilliant so it’s fantastic that there’s now a new one in Newcastle.’’ But this isn’t Robin’s first venture to this neck of the woods: ‘‘I mean, I’ve played some lovely gigs up in Newcastle already, the last time I was up here I played at the City Hall with Brian Cox, but I’ve also played at The Sage over in Gateshead for a science festival since then. But this is the first solo show I’ve done in a long time, so I’m looking forward to heading back up there.’

Who were your influences and who

do you admire in the comedy world? ‘‘It’s always a hard question to answer for comics as it’s hard to know how they may have influenced you. But there are people like Alexi Sayle who used to be on Tuesday nights I remember, he is a huge influence for me, especially early on, and I think people ive was a massle like y forget how imporll e n n o C p ly tant and how “For me, Bil I was a big fan of peonderful to d o influential n a w , t in�luence ardy who were jus he truly was.

H And there are Laurel and watch.” people like Rik Mayall who had a sort of impotent rage and anger which transferred itself into the comedy I sometimes deliver.’’ But what about before then? ‘‘For me, Billy Connelly was a massive influence and I was a big fan of people like Laurel and Hardy who were just wonderful to watch.’’

You have worked with many forms of media throughout your career, from live stand-up, television, radio, podcast and even film. How do you think you managed to achieve that so successfully? ‘‘I think it all stems from interest; I’ve always been interested in trying out many different forms of comedy and different methods of delivery. I’ve always been somewhat e joys h t of a workaholic which always helps e es nc and I’ve devoted a lot of time to my erie ‘HappinStand p x e interests over the years. And I think he can ce’s now after twenty years, and having You obin In nce’ at Twcastle written a film which I thoroughly of R gh Scie lub, Ne 8th. enjoyed, especially the experiu 2 C s thro omedy bruary cket, it’ ey. ence of making it, I now know n i e C what I want to do, and I can hold on F £10 a t the mo with the excepmy hands up and say ‘I enjoyed y l th n tion of Steve trying those methods out, but it At o tely wor Merchant who I ni would take a lot to get me back doing de�i think put his foot some of them’.’’ So now with the scidown very early on, to ence agenda and theme running strongly Ricky everything and everythrough his material, has anything changed? ‘‘I one is just a big playground and he just loves feel happy with what I’m doing and I also feel people’s agony and fury, possibly as a way to I can even start turning things down, which a vent some of his own fury. There’s nothing betfew years ago I wouldn’t have been able to.’’ ter than having him manipulate you and him winding you up, to then find his chicken hasn’t What was working with Ricky arrived yet and you can watch him just become Gervais honestly like? so furious about it.’’

Robin describes Ricky as ‘‘basically like a child ‘‘Well put it this way; every morning he wakes king, he’s like a sixteenth century European up and wonders how much how fun he can child king just laughing and poking at all his have without really thinking about anyone else, subjects.’’ So has fame changed Gervais? ‘‘I don’t so whether it’s me, whether it’s Karl Pilkington, think it has to be honest. Wealth and success whether it’s someone editing his DVD, anyone have not changed him in fairness, but it did get to a point whilst on the last tour with Ricky, called Science, when I thought ‘nah, done this now’, and as well as that tour I was off doing loads of other things and it really does take up a lot of your time just toying around with him, not just in the evenings but making sure he’s happy throughout the day as well, such as being buried on beaches near Sunderland for his amusement.’’

You and your co-host on the podcast ‘Utter Shambles’, Josie Long, seem to genuinely get on really well and the chemistry between the two of you is kind of what makes the show so funny - did that contribute to the success of the show? ‘‘Well, we’ve been mates for a very long time; I think we first met when she was only 16 when we did our first gig together. But she’s so great and so interested and passionate about what she does and those are the kind of people I work best with.’’

So there are plans to continue the podcasts work? ‘‘Yeah, I mean we’re on series three and we’ve got plans to continue definitely very soon,

hopefully in the next month or so. And we just really love doing them, I hope we don’t stop making them as there are loads of interesting people out there and it’s a chance to appreciate their work and chat to them whilst eating biscuits.’’

So you’re playing The Stand in Newcastle at the end of the month, ‘Happiness Through Science’, what can we expect from this show? ‘‘It’s generally a celebration; it’s a celebration of where human beings have got to and where human imagination has got to. And we live in a time where most of our life and most of our society is powered by science and now there’s a kind of backlash beginning to go on. We begin to forget the immediacy of simple things like hot water, medicine, television or just heating up soup. All this became possible through science and imagination. So it’s a celebration, but at the same time we manage to point fun at the idiots out there, the non-science people out there. And the main question I asked myself when setting out to write this show was; can you be happy whilst thinking scientifically? If you remove all the mysticism and all the kind of vain hopes humanity might have of gods and heavens and you just think about the world rationally, can you still find happiness? So hopefully, I might be able to prove my points in the show. It’s not a show to tell you there shouldn’t be religion or anything like that, it’s more, for me, about can we be happy not having those things or the promises of heavens and eternity and instead considering the things at like an atomic level; we are comprised of atoms, those same atoms will go on to make a myriad of other things after we’re gone and have made up many things within the universe in the past before mankind ever existed. And with that thinking, can it bring you happiness? So this show is very physics-based, but the next show I’ve got lined up will be much more heavily biologically based to compensate for the lack of biology in this one, and will be mainly about Charles Darwin and his work.’’

16.lifestyle

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

The Ex-files

Does recalling your past relationships make you want to cry in your pot noodle? You are not alone. Anonymous readers have given us the best and worst of their shameful stories.

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Prank call Some parents may be a little strict when it comes to the rules with staying over at a boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s house; mine however weren’t overly concerned... My boyfriend did not know this though, so I decided to have a little fun. I asked my parents, and as I thought, they were fine with me going to stay at his. Instead of telling him this, I thought it was funnier to tell him they were really strict and suggested it would be a good idea for him to formally ask their permission if it would be okay for me to stay overnight! He set about writing a speech and was performing it for me over the phone, whilst on the other end I was trying extremely hard not to laugh. Finally he decided the speech was just about perfect and went to call my parents, to whom I had told everything. My dad answered, and was really friendly and nice about it all until he remembered he had to be a ‘strict’ parent and blurted out at the end ‘yes that’s all fine, as long as you don’t get her pregnant!’.

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The Courier

lifestyle.17

Monday 27 February 2012

Top 10 Worst breakup excuses

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7 ctacle

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4

“I think you might be a raging psychopath.”

6

“I’m holding you back from all the other lives you could be ruining.”

“We only spend 22 hours a day together - you’re too scared to commit.”

9

2

“I banged my head really hard on the bedpost this morning, and I can’t seem to recall who you are. Do I know you?”

“I’m just working through some issues.”

A real spe

Illustrations: Daisy Billowes

“I love you, I’m just not in love with you.”

5

ddon laid

“You remind me of my ex - I hated him too.”

8

“You’re getting in the way of the telly.”

“It’s not me... it’s you.”

10

Tom Nicholson and Gia Bidani

18.lifestylesex&relationships

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

How not to get over someone

Your ideal partner

1

Being single

You would think, and I would like to think, that this should be taken for granted. Unfortunately for all single people, this is just simply not the case. You can ask, but if already attached, they will probably lie. If you have genuine intentions to begin a relationship with this individual, you must consult Facebook first. Whilst I find it difficult to admit that Facebook is useful for many things, there is a high probability that if they are in a relationship, you will find the evidence here. Look for overly-affectionate picture comments and completely hidden relationship statuses. And then walk away.

Good in bed or willing to learn

2

Such an imperative aspect of a good relationship, and yet the most difficult to approach if you are not 100% comfortable with each other. And whilst it might seem like the most gut-wrenchingly awkward topic, you risk stamping your relationship with a best-before date if you allow the awful sex to continue. In regards to, ‘willing to learn’ - there is nothing more offputting than someone believing they have the skills of Casanova when realistically their technique resembles that of Will McKenzie (Inbetweeners – you know the scene). Be open-minded and adventurous – what’s the worst that can happen!?

3

Being able to teach you something new

(even if it is a seemingly random and useless fact on the length of the world’s coral reef in football pitches). Getting on with each other is a given. But what happens when the amiable chit chat dries up if you have nothing interesting to share or discuss? I’ll tell you what. A daily bombardment of excruciatingly annoying texts such as ‘what you up to?’ and ‘how has your day been?’ Mundane people are not worth your time.

Independency

4

Something you will never truly appreciate until you have your first psycho boy/ girlfriend. 4am text messages detailing why you are the most important thing in their life and the most beautiful girl in the world are both repulsive and untrue. Tell them they must make more friends or you will leave, and they might have to settle for the second most beautiful girl in the world. That said, it will most likely be in vain. Once a psycho, always a psycho. Just learn from your mistakes and take note of the warning signs.

5

Attractiveness

Whilst personality most certainly overrides looks, it is still extremely important.

Ultimately, if seeing them doesn’t make you want to rip your clothes off and get stuck in they may not be for you. It is said that we find people we consider to be aesthetic equals of ourselves attractive, and there is no definitive measure of good looks. So all I can suggest is that you let your loins lead the way.

Clare Vaughan

Tired of Facebook-stalking and bugging your ex’s phone?

Marina Puente shows you new and innovative ways to obsess over the person of your dreams Musi mela cal n Actu rt me point i h s t ally w chol e h w t t rit y h at so , go how e a who y don’t Beenovterhsoemreoene is harhd,owwe’-tvoes aanll dbeeevnenthseertlfye-houelkpnboowowkshat‘s som you canle albumyou eo ’t Getting are plenty of tips, out someone. Bu ly trying not to and there to help you forget ab someone. Purpose d fantasising out there er? Not getting overtheir every move, any the drama, even hard meone, following ey, some of us enjoin crying to ourget over so being with you. H k alone nights sat f all the psycho d best o s, the dar about them cholic songce with chocolate an rtache. the melanffi ea fa h ng our ully comes with u st es lv se that rightf behaviour

writ ne? Y get o about coul e about ou coul ver and d have how yo d som never mhad it al u abo eone lik ind I’l l, set fiut how y e you ol find who re to th ou’d lik r turn knows, e rain a e to at it out to you m nd even and winbe excel ight lent tuall y! six Gram mys,

Inappropri-

Get a tattoo of their face on your back: true to the purest Steve-O style, getting a tattoo of the face is a brilliant ir idea because a) you will be able to see him every day, and b) it goes perfectly with Drizzy’s lyrics and nothing says it’s real like getting a tat!

Don’t get a tat of their name on your foreh Drake’s crazy fan didead like because that is just plathough, in insane.

Actually why don’t yo u print his face on

Dodgy deitie

Building a so 2004 andshrine with their clothes the new thin maybe even too cringe and pictures is ing him yo g at the moment is st worthy for words; ting a cult. M to disseminuatr God or Prophet wouar akinsisting that e your love. You couldld be a great way kn p faith, and not eople take a magazin ock on doors e about your take no for an slam the door in your face. answer when they trynew to

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s Creepy clonealways find someone elsestarthtiatng

reportedly up but s you could If all else faily the same. Reggie Bush ey broke th er tl looks exac Kardashian’s clone aft same hobbies, tastes or dating Kim nd someone with the you could fithe same family! even from

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ing Serial stalk

ing is for go Cyberstalk hard or o wimps, g alk his every st e: m ho e! Since it’s single movcceptable socially a d to watch for Edwarp in Twilight Bella slee ng with what’s wroim brush watching halk his dog his teeth, hwhis family. and sit witcan hold a good Most trees weight.

Maybe a ing’ over ll the time and e more pro an ex or causingffort we spend ‘g them – ductively towa drama could b rievof mindyou just have to grds actually gettine used an open and think of it a et into the right g over step furthwindow. Or you s a closed door n frame could jus e er and kid t go that xt to nap them huge .

The Courier

Monday 27 February 2012

sex&relationshipslifestyle.19 Lifestyle Editors: Ben Parkin, Emma Balter, and Lauren Stafford Online Editor: Lauren Cordell

Blind Date

Sally Greenwood, 2nd year English Literature, meets Adam Ebrahim, 2nd year Civil Engineering Sally on Adam

Adam on Sally

First impressions?

Well, due to the fact that I was asked to do this rather than offering, I decided I would only agree if I was allowed to have a sneaky browse on Facebook before. So, after agreeing to go through with it, I hardly had a surprising first impression as I’d casually looked at his profile pictures beforehand. He sounded like a nice guy via texts and even offered to pick me up from mine (by foot) but I declined the offer as I felt tight making him walk to Ilford Road to just walk back to Osborne Road.

First impressions?

Very good – She was very friendly and didn’t seem nervous at all which resulted in a calm ambiance for the rest of the night.

What do you think of the choice of date venue/activity?

Choice of venue was good as I was glad to have the presence of alcohol in a potentially awkward situation. However, it was anything but awkward, so much so that even after Berlise closed we decided to go to Oasis shisha bar in town, as we’d been talking about it earlier.

Any striking conversation topics?

Well my older sister had gone into labour at 6pm that afternoon so I had no choice but to be pretty much glued to my phone waiting for some news. I told him, because I didn’t want him to think I was just checking the time every five minutes, desperate to leave, and it ended up being a running theme all the night. Also was happy to find out that we both weren’t regulars at “blinddating” and that he, like me, got asked to do it the night before.

Any awkward moments?

Not between us, but when we got to Oasis, a man on what had to be an unknown mixture of illegal substances would NOT take his eyes off Adam, with a look that can only be described as sexual excitement. When he threatened to throw the tables on our head, we thought it was probably time to leave him be. He was definitely a highlight in the night.

If you were to get married and have babies, what would you want your baby to inherit from your date?

Would probably want my future kids to never go on a blind date in an area that tends to inhabit drugged up freaks as, even though it was hilarious, probably not ideal for a first date.

Did you open the ex-file?

No. At any point did you understand why they were single?

No. Adam seemed like a really nice guy and we had a good night.

Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss?

Maybe.

If you were to take them home do you think your parents would approve?

Seen as my mum can’t understand why I’m single, she would probably be happy if I take any guy home to meet her, just to confirm the fact that I’m not a lesbian. Other than that, I’m sure she would like Adam, as he would make a good, first impression like he did on our date.

Marks out of 10 Good choice of venue, no awkward moments and a laugh. 8/10

What do you think of the choice of date venue/activity?

Seeing as though I only found out the night before that I’d be doing it, I didn’t really have time to plan the standard luxury weekend getaway in Paris. Consequently, I had to settle on Bar Berlise, but I’m sure she didn’t mind. This was followed but a cheeky unplanned trip to a shisha bar and not being let into Gotham.

Any striking conversation topics?

Turns out her sister was in labour at the time of the date. At first I thought it was just an excuse to check her phone all the time. Turns out she became an aunt the next morning, very exciting. I was pleased to find out that both Sally and I had partaken in a mandatory check of Facebook beforehand, cheating a bit I know, but flattered she actually turned up.

Any awkward moments?

I was hit on by a very strange man at the shisha bar. I was very flattered I guess. I quickly diffused the situation though as I didn’t want her to be jealous.

If you were to get married and have babies, what would you want your baby to inherit from your date?

Background check, you never know, I could have ended up on a date with the man from the shisha bar.

Did you open the ex-file?

Nah. At any point did you understand why they were single?

Sally said she wasn’t the type of person to approach guys, so I guess that could be a reason. I would say that neither of us are the type of people to do this sort of thing and it is safe to say we were way out of our comfort zone. Something we had in common.

Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss?

A gentleman never reveals that information, but I totally went for it.

If you were to take them home do you think your parents would approve?

I’m sure they would. They’d just be pleased that I’m “courting” as they would put it. It’s whether I’d approve of my parents ability to keep their awkward questions to a minimum.

Marks out of 10?

8/10. It was fun. Marks down for the bouncers not letting us into Gotham and the mysterious man at the shisha bar, although I admire his efforts.

Unbeatable blind date!

Sally Priddle and Chris Ronan were voted #1 blind date couple by the readers of The Courier!

Think you can do better? Sign up by emailing c2.lifestyle@ ncl.ac.uk

Tashin’ on in the Toon Victoria Mole

So, he’s decided that you still proudly having *NSYNC on your iPod and being able to give a soulful (word-perfect and down to the rhythmic wave in the chorus) rendition of ‘Bye Bye Bye’ doesn’t make you too much of a loser to spend more time with; and his tendency to inappropriately quote Anchorman hasn’t quite reached ‘critical’ on the deal-breaker scale- you may be ready to leave ‘does s/he like me?’ territory and go on an official date.

University is full of opportunities to meet people and our very own Osbourne Road is a hotbed when it comes to blossoming new relationships. Arranging a date is the first milestone to get past with your potential beau; it’s the moment where two people exchange a straightforward ‘I like you and I’d like to get to know you better’ without so many of the games played in the initial chase that can leave you tired and tomato-faced.

Nevertheless, that’s not to say that a first date is without opportunity to leave you blushing for all of the wrong reasons. It’s time to make a conscious effort to hone in ‘the laugh’ and infiltrate its uniqueness gradually; appreciation of it is an acquired, yet achievable, taste. Moreover, ‘the snort’ should be held off at all costs until the number of dates is in at least double figures, or at the point that it can be restrained no longer. Should ‘the snort’ make its untimely presence known, your date can at least bask in the knowledge that they’re a comedy god; or if your own witticisms are received with more bemusement than amusement- it should get you a giggle. If not: this is a warning that your date has the sense of humour of a breadstick.

When you have a first date approaching, your friends suddenly become your personal stylists. This is great news for you if your friends leave the house looking like the cast of 90210. On the other hand, if your besties remind you in any way whatsoever of the lads from the Big Bang Theory, put the maroon velvet down and step away from the turtleneck. Heed the advice of wearing something memorable but keep subtlety in mind. You want to be remembered for the right reasons and show that you’re interested enough in your date to make an effort without giving off the frightening impression that your ring finger’s feeling cold at 20, or that it’s been a while...

First date nerves can be a problem if you feel like they inhibit you from being able to be yourself. A good date and a good match for you should be able to make you feel at ease amidst any butterflies. It’s tempting to drink away your self-consciousness but if you’re at the point where you feel it’s necessary to inform your date of the time you nearly had to go to A & E because you got your finger stuck in a Ribena bottle- you should probably switch to water. At the end of the day, if you’re interested in someone, the conversation could turn to which is the lesser evil of Justin Bieber and Harry Styles, and you’ll still think that this person is sophistication itself. Finally, you will know whether you have the necessary chemistry to overcome any awkwardness if, when it comes to the crucial first date kiss, there’s a spark that makes you smile like the Cheshire cat. Again, this look is best avoided when drunk…

20.lifestyle

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Room 101

Inappropria te Clothing

Say goodbye to your nightmarish niggles, pet peeves and bothersome bug-bares...

Shorthand

Fellwalking Society

Who? The Newcastle University Fellwalking Society.

Intrepid stuff. Unfortunately walking boots have never really been my look…

You never know, Cheryl Cole worked them pretty well all the way to Kilimanjaro.

Yeah, and so did Chris Moyles...

Fair point. However, there’s still hopeplenty to get involved in.

Surprise me.

Trips can vary from weekends in the Yorkshire Dales (if you fancy yourself as modern day Jane Austen this is well worth a look), more locally out in Northumberland but more often in the Lake District.

Every weekend?

Every. Walkers also enjoy heading off to the Scottish hinterland for some epic sights- check out the pictures on their facebook page of recent trips to Glen Shee- even if you prefer to spend your weekend head buried in the sale section of Fenwicks/reaching the finals of FIFA for the 5th time that day ‘just because’ you will, take my word for it, be impressed.

Photos look great. But honestly the last time I stepped out to walk for walking’s sake was, let’s be honest, when I learnt to back in infancy….

And you never wondered why you were breathing heavily after that first flight of stairs? Tragic. Fellwalking is possibly one of the best way to keep fit- no need to worry about learning a new skill, plenty of fresh air and the distraction of beautiful countryside. That’s aside from the satisfaction of reaching the top of that hill/end of the circuit- bet it’s a far more liberating and self-affirming feeling than plodding on the treadmill for half an hour watching MTV re-runs.

Can’t really argue with that…

No, you can’t. And the social side of it seems pretty lively too. Members meet every Wednesday in the Strawberry Pub by St. James at 7.30pm for ‘routeplanning/ drinking.’ “Socials most weeks, usual format - The Strawberry, Sinners, Babylon, Digital.” There’s also a ball, which, this year, was advertised as ‘a chance to spend a night in a castle, have a three course meal, dance and go swimming in the Tyne (only for the brave!).’

Three course meal? I’m in!

What’s more are the skills you’ll get taught- those needed in the mountains, such as winter skills (using ropes, crampons, ice axes etc...) and normal skills, such as map and compass work. Anyone can go on the trips, as long as they’re a member- £8 for day trips, about £30 for weekends.

Any cool kit to be had? (Not a complete convert just yet…)

Fleeces are on offer- snugly warm and specific to the society. Those, a bit of walking, and some great new friends to be had: time to get involved.

Nonie Heal

For more information about the society or how to join, email Fellwalking Society at nufws-committee@ncl.ac.uk

ses Children On Bsubrought to us to exemplify inno-ry

ta able creature e can have momen Children are ador until they cr y! W ntre or ce r… te ng gh pi op lau g sh e in th br ren in cence and dly behaved child them by going encounters withviba rtunity to escapem po op y er ev ng etimes this is on the street ha crossing the road. However so on the bus. I, for or e ng lli isl ve xt ne tra to the e when one is a buggy and a parent. My pl am ex r fo n tio tween not an op myself trapped beowed and kicked. Sometimes my one, always findns elb g in be of s ist t The Wheels on long journey co trod on and I’m tr ying to block ou and Incredibly suede shoes are ilst tr ying to read Extremely Loudical abuse and the Bus – all wh t an apology for the various physoever looks after Close. I never geonal space because obviously wh ic world. Furtherinvasion of perssters is consumed in their neurot amiss by doting these little mon e action or facial expression goese heard one too more, not a singl their hawk-like observation. I’v parents owing to ersations bemany inane conv c minders tween enthusiasti snotty and their boring, I’m not offspring. I hopeo finds the only one wh le the smallest peop ing the most threaten , the and loud. Clearly is only solution to th is to lem ob pr l sa er univ on a segregate children s bu e th nd trolley behi their so they can enjoyd other own company an joy the passengers can en d quiet! an e ac pe journey in them ck lo , Or in this case 1.

10 om Ro in up Nicole Stevenson Illustrations: Daisy Billowes

Let me start fifty years agowith two facts. Number 1: ju Number 2: an the Met Office published itst over one hundred and 20/20 vision Bestimated 3.5 – 4 billion pe s first ever weather report . earing these tw op founds me th. at o facts in mindle across the world have it absolutely du mainly at stud so many people (and I am mbis wrong with ents) dress so inappropriat wagging my finger here yo el u y al fo l? r th It e weather! Wha honestly makes some people t me feel ill look has had me doare dressed! Some of the rece ing at how ub nt ti ng the location weather in New midst of this I of the Arctic C ca ircle yet in thestle but a flimsy ca saw girls wearing skirts w it rd h ig no an ti . gh B oy ta and nothing are for summ s this does no using the excuer and hot, sunny summer t exclude you either! Shorts da se ys yo u didn’t realiz at you left the ho e it w snowinthat. And don’t go g/raining/cold existed for overuse – use the eyes or the as un w issue! Oh and a centur y for the main pueather forecast that has til an rp ot os he e r of thing dressing iminating th over the top do flimsily then el es not count as shoving a giletat the dressing co ‘d re ss in g fo de r the weather’. So I believe ever yo carr y spare so here is ne sh you can alway cks, gloves, umbrella, hat,ould follow. Number 1: alway s sc re s ar m f ov w it e h you – remem a layer. Numbe on your Intern ber r 2: ke et browser ensu hours. ring you get a ep a BBC weather a tab weather update ever y 3

Keep Calm Poster s

Olivia Mason

These days there is no esc aping the ‘Keep Calm an phrase that has transform d Carry On’ rative theme for kitchenw ed a classic wartime poster to a decoare , clo thi ng and (too) many other types of merchandise.

I the only one who doesn funny or orginal?! The Am ’t find them ori gin al wartime poster was pro to raise public morale bu duced opposite effect on me. I t these modern versions have the truly can ’t hel p bu t om it a ner whenever a friend uses s chuckle ir new ‘totes hilar’ muvou another takes off their the g or when coa t mi d-lecture to reveal a T-s ing ‘Keep Calm and Go hirt sayShopping’. It is not bec so individual’ and am ‘ha ause ‘I’m like tin ’ on an yth ing mainstream’ – it’s because the phrase ‘Keep even raise a slight smile Calm and Eat a Cupcake’ does not to The cupcake themed po my face. It’s more of a grimace. r is a monstrosity. It’s one of the more repulsste ive ones in the ‘Keep Cadefinitely as it has been combined lm’ format with current trend for pa tle fairy cakes. Althoug h I can appreciate a go qualithetic litdar, a key ring announcin ty chedg ‘Keep Calm and Eatod world does not feature on Cheese’ to the my list of ess ent ial ekly purchases.

I like to think our natio n’s sense of humour iswe better than this.

Emily Rae

You’ve got problems!

Struggling with calorie counting, worried about your housemate’s bowel movements , boyfriend more in love with his suede shoes than you... oh dear! Luckily Uncle Monty’s here to help...

I’m starting to worry about my friend. She is obsessed with counting calories and knowing how many she has each day. If she has a ‘naughty biscuit’, she punishes herself the next day; she’s never had three daily meals. She really is pretty (and has a boyfriend), so I don’t understand. I’m worried she’s going to take it too far. What should I do?

I’m sure your friend knows exactly what she’s doing. It sounds like a classic case of a show of religious devotion via the medium of fasting. Cheer your friend on from the sidelines, and perhaps one day, when she is beatified, you’ll be able to bask in her reflected glory. Besides, I’ve

not had three square meals a day since Tesco started padlocking their bins, and I’m basically fine. Ignore my gout, regular kidney failures and cripplingly slow bowel system. That could happen to anyone who has to live in a shack, eating what nuts and berries he can find. It’s perfectly normal.

The other day I called up my housemate and we had a good chat for ten minutes about general stuff. I thought the call sounded echoey and just before I hung up, I heard the toilet flush. Am I just being a prude? Looking back on it she even grunted half way through our conversation, I thought she was just picking up something heavy rather than dropping it!

We live in a fast-paced, modern, confusing world. I myself hardly have time to fit in a couple of bottles of Lambrini before my 11 o’clock gin, then it’s a mad rush to get a couple of bottles of pinot grigio down me ahead of the evening’s revelry at the country club (my shed) with the chaps (Cracker Alan and his dog, Boggins).

Your housemate is clearly pressed for time in much the same way, and who are you to object to his efficient if somewhat discomforting time-saving methods.

I recently bought my boyfriend a pair of suede shoes for Christmas which he loves to pieces which is great, but he’s a bit too obsessed by them and he rants and raves about suede. The other day he went out and bought a pair of suede trousers and a matching pair of gloves.

When getting hot in between the sheets the other night, he asked if he could adorn all the items during our fun time.

I said yes for that one time but he keeps on going on about how fantastic it all was and wants to try it again. Is it me or is he a suede pervert?

Deary me. You’ve gone and poked a big old nest of rhinos there, pal, and now you want my help in mopping up the blood of the innocent children trampled in the ensuing carnage? Well it’s already too late.

You should really have had the foresight to tape sample of fabrics – suede, microsuede, corduroy, Astroturf – to the walls around your flat and gauge his reaction to them. As it is, you’ll simply have to make a six foot ball of suede, let your boy get the scent and roll it down a hill into a ravine.

He’ll follow it to his inevitable death. You might consider this harsh. I agree, it is. It’s harsh because he’s a sick freak and must be terminated.

The Courier

lifestyle.21

Monday 27 February 2012

Lifestyle Editors: Ben Parkin, Emma Balter and Lauren Stafford Online Editor: Lauren Cordell

#3 Travel, Grazing and Half-Price Grime-Busters

Penny Pincher

Rosie Jenkenson Are you getting the winter blues? The holidays are officially over and for many of us there’s nothing very special happening on the horizon, so why not take advantage of some of these great deals to have a little adventure somewhere?

Get a Family & Friends railcard with 20% off to make those trips home and little gateways so much more affordable.

Instead of £28 pounds a year, use the online discount code of Money20 to get your railcard for £22.40. This offer ends on 29th February, so get it quick! You will definitely thank yourselves (and me) for it in the future.

Who would love a free trip to Disneyland? Stupid question, but Sky TV customers could get two free Disneyland park tickets if they sign in with their Sky ID to the Sky Disneyland Paris rewards page. A Disneyland park ticket would usually cost you £51 so this is a brilliant deal, and with Sky giving out between 200-5,000 a day on a first-come firstserved basis. It’s on until the beginning of April, but you should definitely do it

Restaurant Review

sooner rather than later.

Check out www.trainline.com/farefinder for brilliant train ticket prices. Have you got a lecture-free day anytime during the week? Get out of Newcastle and go to York for the day for only £6.50 a single, or to Edinburgh for only £9 a single, if you plan your days right. Sometimes early morning starts result in cheaper tickets, but then that just gives you more time to explore the beautiful cities.

Warning: Groupon travel deals are not all they are cracked up to be sometimes.

Before buying a too-good-to-be-true deal of flying to Las Vegas for 3 nights with breakfast included for £150 per person; check the small print. The flights are usually all from London, so think of the extra travel costs involved in getting there from Newcastle. Also, they have date restrictions on when the coupon is to be used, and are usually during term time. Sometimes it’s best just to piece together your own package holiday rather than getting a Groupon one.

7 Osborne Road Jesmond NE2 2AE Tel : 0191 281 2136

Firenze In Jesmond you’re spoilt for choice when it comes to Italian cuisine, and with Firenze situated around the corner from Osborne Road, it’s a perfect choice for a pre/post-drinks meal. The restaurant is more refined than your average ‘cheap and cheerful’ student haunt, however the atmosphere is still warm and the prices not too intimidating nevertheless! It has an intimate feel and would be ideal for a date destination, a meal out with friends, or somewhere to take your parents if they’re visiting Newcastle.

Food to

eat if you’re dentally challenged Problems chewing? Just had a filling?

Suffering from a sandpaper sore throat?

These recipes will make meal times a little easier on those malady-filled mouths. According to the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research (NIDCR) pain in the jaw muscles and joint affect approximately 5-12% of people. Maybe even more pertinent, a poll from Drink Aware revealed almost 1 in 10 Brits, that’s 520,000 people, find themselves in work each day suffering the aftermath of too much to drink at least twice a week!

Surely this number would increase if we interviewed the student body.

Considering this, I’ve come up with some recipes for extra fragile days. If you just can’t face solids, get the blender at the ready and have a go at making these

What’s Hot Get them before they’re gone!

Enjoy a 2 course meal for two, with complimentary glasses of wine for just £14 at The Cherry Tree in Jesmond. An offer for students only, so remember to take your Uni smartcard with you. Download the voucher from www.eatsleep.co. Valid until 7th March.

The snack-craze that is taking the nation by storm is Graze. Sign up on www.graze.com.signup to receive a free box of their healthy snacks and get your second one for half price. With a no-commitment policy and ability to cancel at any time, you can try out these natural snacks for free. Also, if you buy anything from WHSmith’s then you get a free graze box code. I’m definitely going to get one to see what all the fuss is about.

Is your house in need of a spring clean? Get Domestos and turn your bathroom into a sanitary haven for only 79p at Tesco.

Offer on until 3rd March.

When I arrived it was easy to relax as the staff are friendly, polite and helpful. Service was quick and the staff were clearly familiar with the menu and any specials on offer. It’s a restaurant where you can maintain a conversation without crowds of customers and frantic waiters rushing past, and quiet enough to be able to talk but not so quiet that you’d be able to hear the conversation of the people on the table next to you.

There was a large selection of starters to choose from and in the end, my friend and I opted for an old Italian favouritecheesy garlic bread. This definitely did not disappoint! We’d ordered one each and they were both the size of an entire pizza!

They’d be ideal to share and despite being initially concerned that the starter would defeat us before we’d even reached the main course, it was so delicious that we had no problem cleaning the plates.

For the main course I ordered the riskybut-reliable tagliatelle Bolognese - it was fantastic. There’s always the dilemma at an Italian restaurant of whether to go for

Scru

pasta or pizza and my friend chose to order the tasty solution to this problem- Bolognese pizza. The food came quickly and the quality of the starter was definitely a prelude to the main course. The pasta was cooked to perfection and the portion sizes were just right.

Despite having my fill of essentially a whole pizza and pasta dish, I couldn’t wait for dessert. If you’ve never had Italian ice-cream before, you should try it here.

It’s sweet but not sickly and should you be stuck for choice on which flavour to have, the waitress offered a variety of options. I chose strawberry and my friend went for a chocolate fudge brownie, coming well presented giving a delicious ending to the meal; the menu has so many mouthwatering options that it’s one of those places where it’s better to (with difficulty) narrow it down to the top two and share both. This is one of the best restaurants that I’ve been to in Newcastle and I would definitely recommend it as somewhere to check out during your time here.

Victoria Mole

Ingrediemmy Sou p nts 1 onion 2 leeks One lar 1.2 litre ge potato (abo s of veg etable sut 200-250g w tock orth) Sautee t stock, d he onions and mer un iced potatoe leeks until eat as a til the vegetabs and seasoninsoft. Add the g chunky le simple, soup se s are soft. Wh and simliqueiz rved wit h breadz up or fied classics. .

Dodgy dentures or head-crushing hangovers are no longer a problem! What’s more, I’ve been sure to Super Smoothie include fresh ingredients and as a result, Ingredients these super-foods are not only gentle on the gums but ultra healthy and nutritious.

6 strawberries or mixed berries Give yourself a vitamin boost with this 1 banana, peeled and cut into chunks delicious smoothie recipe as a refreshing A tablespoon of plain yogurt breakfast drink or snack. The best part?

Half a cup of orange juice You can add any of your favourite fruits – just remember to peel them first! The only Whizz all of the ingredients together and thing you will definitely need is some sort you’ll make about two glasses of juice. For of blender, juicer or hand-held liquidiser a different combination try adding mango but I’m sure you’ll be able to scout one out or pineapple for a citrusfresh juice. in Wilkos with minimal effort.

Alternative Trebles With Sinners’ outrageous price hike, MiMo seems to be a better option, offering 3 trebles for a fiver. But don’t make the mistake of going on a weekend when the offer is off and it’s practically empty. empty.

Easter Chocolate Creme Eggs, Mini Eggs, Chocolate Bunnies...

Easter is still ages away but with all the chocolate on offer, this time the supermarkets can be forgiven.

Newcastle University Memes Aside from some unimaginative Northumbria bashing, some of these pictures are genuinely hilarious like the infamous “Meanwhile... At Leazes”. Class warfare at its very best.

Flip-flops in February Just don’t. In no way is it socially acceptable or practical.

Sneaky Mid-term Assignments Not that long after January exams and you’re free to be a hot mess... or so you think. Essays everywhere and no time to do them. Doesn’t University know we have social lives to keep on top of?

Student Poverty This time of term when the loans are running out is never fun. Toasties and Pasta can only go so far and the guilt about going out when you’re in the minuses is (almost) enough to keep you in.

What’s Not Nikesh Jani Illustrations: Daisy Billowes

22.fashion

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk

Monday 27 February 2012

what’sinyourbag? in inyour Emily Elizabeth Symington

#4 High Bridge the hidden gem for menswear The prolific shift towards clothing purchased on the Internet has seen many high-profile high street shops disappear into the murky depths of administration. The latest casualty to feel both barrels is Peacocks, whose initial offer from four separate bids to save the company from collapse has now been whittled down to one: an Indian apparel and textile firm. Unlike the loss of Woolworths, I will feel no sense of bereavement at the loss of the Peacocks. Whilst I associate fond memories of ramming those cups with enough pick ‘n’ mix to get my money’s worth, there are not such romantic associations with the former. To put it bluntly, whilst Primark offers expendable fashion at cheap prices, Peacocks just offered, well… cheap prices.

Independents and small retailers don’t have such luxuries as swathes of back room financial staff to ensure they keep their heads above water. Instead they have to use their business and fashion nous as recession-proofing tools. And here in Newcastle, so far so good. Venture down High Bridge and you will discover a cobbled haven that alone could surpass any attempt by high street shops to outfit the urban gentleman.

Firstly, we come across one of the most prominent streetwear retailers in the UK: End Clothing. Whilst many of you have undoubtedly purchased from them online, a vast majority will not have realised they are based right here in Newcastle. Constantly striving to find the freshest brands from around the world, End Clothing has an enviable brand portfolio, ranging from Japanese brands Visvim and Uniform Experiment to the renowned Billionaire Boys Club and a special collaboration with Trickers in End Hunting Co, their elite section. The father of menswear retail in Newcastle is Union Clothing. Having first opened its doors to the public in 1987, the store originally designed and manufactured its own line that was very successful. Today, their reputation has gone global, enabling them to secure brands such as The Ampal Creative, a Californian snap-back specialist company that creates them like no other.

Along the fashion food walk you will also find Trickle Clothing and Deep Vintage, two intrinsically beautiful stores. Promoting more of an underground vibe, Trickle seeks to push creativity every season. It stocks one of my favourite labels, Libertine-Libertine, a Danish brand that seems to get stronger with every collection; as well as Skulls, Rockwell and Saucony shoes.

Deep Vintage is a vibrant store, offering a broad selection of vintage or reworked garments. It’s definitely worth checking out the contrast arm sweatshirts that come in an array of colours and which certainly can’t be found anywhere else.

Being fashionable isn’t about buying everything off the peg from one well-known store; it’s about finding your personality in individual items. High Bridge offers a plethora of styles, eras and price ranges without thrusting fashion down your throat like a stylised catalogue. It’s the true British high street for menswear.

My suggestion? Step away from the screen, ignore the traditional male fashion stomping ground and check out the wealth of choice on High Bridge. You won’t be disappointed.

Where is it from?

Topshop How much did it cost? £40

What did you buy?

Red sheer panelled dress

Why did you choose this?

“My birthday party was black and white themed so as the birthday girl I really needed something that would stand out from the crowd.”

Where is it from?

Renee London (purchased from Fenwicks) How much did it cost? £60

Fashionista’s Verdict?

“Nothing but blue skies and blueberry pies.

Inspiration straight off the catwalk from the Chanel Haute Couture show in Paris, Philippa will be soaring to the top of the best dressed list in this cobalt little number. my opinion.”

Why did you choose this?

“I loved the fit of the dress, and the cut out sides were something different.”

Fashionista’s Verdict?

“Valentine’s Day has been and gone but who’s to say that love isn’t still in the air? This firey mesh cutout dress is strawberry lush, a dress that we will be lusting over for seasons to come.”

On trend

Hannah Walsh What did you buy?

Blue tulle dress

Second Year English Linguistics

Miles Freeman

The Courier

Philippa Bartle

Second Year Mathematics

Amanda Old presents the highstreet’s finest in this exotic new trend

Scarf-print steals

Topshop, £34

Miss Selfridge, £18

River Island, £25

River Island, £30

The Courier

stylingfashion.23

Monday 27 February 2012

Fashion Editor: Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor: Rosanna Sopp

Style rules abolished So wrong it’s right

Laura Nicholson demonstrates how to stay in style when delving into fashion’s black books

Mixing Metals Mixing golds and silvers can be associated with rappers’ ‘bling’ - something that would be gladly avoided!

This season, however metallic mixing is making a positive name for itself. If wearing a range of metals is a look you intend to try out, avoid jewellery which can double as a mirror... in other words go for bracelets, necklaces and rings which are matte.

I decided to ace this look with a silver chain necklace that has gold charms, a silver bangle wrapped in bronze and gold chains, a gold beaded bracelet, a silver chunky bracelet and �inally a silver ring. To ensure all of this jewellery stands out I decided to wear all black, making the clothes more of an accessory to the jewellery as opposed to the other way around.

Black and silver belt buckle, £32, Mango Black Puff Shouldered Shirt, £42, All Saints Black Ribboned Shoes, £16, Matalan Gold charms, £28, silver ring, £18, Le Beado Gold chains, £18, bracelets £15, black sequined shorts, £38, Topshop

Sock-peep toe combo Usually wearing tights or socks with peep toe shoes is a major ‘no no’, however with retro being the new ‘modern’ trend it seems that this ‘no no’ is a major YES! If this is a desired feature that you would love to try out, I would strongly advise you to ensure that the rest of your out�it complements this rewarding statement. I decided to make the shoes stand out, so I paired this vintagey Urban Outiftters dress with similar coloured tights, thus showing off the black patent ‘leather’ wedges. The trick is to subtly draw attention to the shoes by using classic colours, and your feet will epitomize chic!

White lace dress, £75, Urban Outfitters Peep toe wedges, £13, Primark

Multiple patterns ‘In your face’ and ‘gaudy’ have de�initely been used to describe this style, however, who says that these are negatives? With the right patterns and colours you can make this infamous fashion fabulous.

Firstly, I chose the main colour which I wanted to base this out�it on: burgundy, once I had this I scoured my wardrobe for items sporting this tone. I selected my burgundy jeans as the base. Next I waded my way through different patterned tops and cardigans, �inally picking out the �loral shirt which features burgundy �lowers; as it also contains blacks and whites I knew these two colours clash with very little, therefore I only had to be concerned about my base colour. Finally I chose the second pattern: the striped woollen cardigan, which contained burgundy, although the patterns clash the colours do not, therefore the out�it matches in an oxymoronic manner.

Floral shirt, £38, Topshop Fairisle cardigan, £10, Oxfam

Clashing Colours Celebrities have started to take to the red carpet in out�its which feature both red and pink, however I don’t think I’m quite ready for such a clash of colours. Instead I personally prefer a less outrageous clash, I mixed, a vibrant yellow and blue with a dowdier burgundy. As yellow and blue are both primary colours they stand out strongly, therefore bouncing off each other in quite a positive manner. The burgundy jeans darken the out�it, thus avoiding the disastrous clown effect. I accessorized the out�it with a pink �loral hair band to provide the out�it with pattern.

Mustard blouse, £12, Primark Blue cardigan, £32, Topshop Shoes, £28, Topshop Jeans, £38, Topshop ‘Tall’ section

24.listings27thFeb-4thMarch

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/listings c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk

Monday

Tuesday

Basketball

Golf

February 6 March 12 Wallsend Golf Club

Practice your swing for much less than it costs to join an actual club! Sessions are 5pm or 8pm (please specify which slot you’d prefer to attend) and transport is provided from campus 30 minutes before the start time. Email active.union@ncl.ac.uk to book your place.

Dog is Dead 7pm Riverside

Catch the indie five-piece at the Riverside tonight and dance away your assessment blues.

If you like The Maccabees or Bombay Bicycle Club, you’ll love these! www.dogisdead.co.uk

7.30pm Sunderland Empire

Stan Calvert Skiing 7pm Silksworth Ski Slope

Start your support early for Team Newcastle early at the Skiing competitions this Tuesday.

February 7 - March 13 Northumbria Uni Sports Central

Fancy your hand at volleyball? Whether you’re a beginner or not, GoPlay’s volleyball sessions are fun, energetic and will help you to get fit! First session is just £1. Email active. union@ncl.ac.uk to book your place. www.nusu.co.uk/goplay

The Jezabels 8pm The Cluny

Australian indie-pop four-piece, formed at university in Sydney in 2007. Their debut EP, ‘The Man Is Dead’, was released in 2009.

Mausi will be supporting the band so you are guaranteed a great night!

12-2pm Venue, Students’ Union

Table tennis in the Union every Monday and Wednesday lunchtimes. Just turn up and play for free! No need to register, just pop your name on the sign-up sheet, grab a bat and join a tournament, start your own, or just casually play with friends. www.nusu.co.uk/goplay

8pm The Cluny, Ouseburn

Not only has he supported Metronomy and Jamie Woon on their tours and performed at Glastonbury, Sónar, Latitude, Secret Garden Party and Bestival, he was also among the nominees for the Mercury Prize 2011. Tickets are available from £12. www.thecluny.com

MOBO Tour 2012 8pm O2 Academy Newcastle

The MOBO Tour descends on the O2 ACademy this week, shocasing talents such as Youngman, Clement Marfo & the Frontline, Josh Osho, Lady Leshurr, Smiler or Benny Banks, Cleo Sol and The Rascals. Register for tickets at www.mobo.com/mobotour. www.o2academynewcastle.co.uk

Give Blood

1.45-4pm and 4.45-7.15pm

Jesmond United Reformed Church Hall Do something amazing. www.blood.co.uk

Recreating original West End and Broadway musical hit songs with amazing authenticity, including songs from Miss Saigon, The Lion King, Phantom of the Opera, Love Never Dies, Mamma Mia, Blood Brothers, The Jersey Boys and many more hit musical productions, climaxing with a spectacular finale from Les Miserables. Featuring past principal performers from Les Miserables. www.atgtickets.com

Volleyball

Table Tennis

Ghostpoet

Thursday

Beyond the Barricade

February 6 - March 12

Join in the fun and get fit! Women’s basketball from 4.30-5.30pm and men’s basketball from 5.30-6.30pm. First session just £1.

Email active.union@ncl.ac.uk to book your place. www.nusu.co.uk/goplay

Wednesday

To Kill A King 8pm The Cluny, Ouseburn

Having renamed and restructured since 2009, To Kill a King have been compared to The National, Grizzly Bear, Mumford & Sons and Frightened Rabbit. Their first single “Fictional State” was released in May 2011 - check out the video for the single on YouTube (directed by Jack King). www.thecluny.com

New Writing North: Meet Matt Hilton 7.30pm Bishop Auckland Town Hall

Author of the action-packed Joe Hunter series of books, Matt quit his career as a police officer to pursue his love of writing cinematic American-style thrillers. Find out more about his influences and novels. Tickets: £2.50 (includes refreshments). www.newwritingnorth.com

Faith and Food 7pm Bede House

Come along to an informal discussion with the Catholic Society - with pizza! Learn more about Catholicism and Christianity and ask any questions you like. It’s £1 for food and the event will be held at 7pm at Bede House (14 Windsor Terrace, opposite the halls of residence).

How to get a job with an SME 1-2pm King’s Gate, Room L1.26

graduate-jobs.com is dedicated to finding the best candidates their dream graduate job. We have thousands of graduate jobs from Small & Medium sized Enterprises (SMEs) to large companies including IBM, Waitrose, MI5 and KPMG. We match your academic subject to your profile, making sure you view jobs that are right for you! Register FREE at graduatejobs.com. This will be a real insight in addressing what makes an SME job search different, and why the way you approach them may need to radically change. www.ncl.ac.uk/careers

Yoga beginners’ session 6pm

A freestyle yoga session for all abilities is provided by the Union’s Give it a Go scheme this week. Mats are provided, all you have to do is sign up by emailing giag. union@ncl.ac.uk.

Stan Calvert Cup 2010 Tuesday 2 March 2010

C OURIER THE

2.StanCalvert Stan Calvert Memorial Cup 2012 INTRODUCTION

Monday 27 February 2012

ATHLETICS & CROSS COUNTRY

The Courier

BADMINTON

Rory Brigstock-Barron Sports Editor It’s that time of year again, when the books go on the back-burner and students from Newcastle and Northumbria prepare their best jibes at the opposition. The Stan Calvert Cup returns with 72 teams competing in 24 sports for bragging rights in one of the most intense academic rivalries in the country.

After another comfortable victory last year Newcastle will be chasing an historic fifth straight win over the Poly, who will be looking to end a four year slump in the competition.

With 11 wins to Northumbria’s five, Newcastle have been far more successful than their opponents in the competition since its inauguration in 1994, but can take nothing for granted this year as Northumbria’s sporting sides are holding some of the best records in the country.

Newcastle have taken the early initiative with a whitewash in the early fixtures.

In the American Football back in Novermber the Newcastle Raiders defeated the Northumbria Mustangs 38 to 8 to go 2-0 up overall. The lead was then extended after a remarkable victory for both the Men’s and Women’s Cricket teams last Wednesday (see page 46 in this weeks Courier.

The Stan Calvert Cup will take place at numerous venues across Newcastle with the competition culminating in a feast of sport at Gateshead Stadium, the Men’s Rugby Union firsts game providing the exclamation point on the competition and the centre of most of the crowd excitement.

Previous Encounters: 2007/08 2008/09 2009/10 2010/11

54 - 40 NCL 61 - 51 NCL 84 - 32 NCL 96 - 61 NCL

David Dempsey

Athletics

All events 1pm - 7pm at Gateshead Stadium This years athletics competition will see both indoor and outdoor events at Gateshead Stadium, with the main relays between the rugby matches.

Despite having lost a few outstanding athletes this summer, Newcastle have had an influx of new talent such as Mark ‘Stallion’ Collier in the sprints, Sam ‘Creeper’ Burgess in the jumps and Martin

‘Schwarzenegger’ Ferguson in the 400m.

These new additions should give us the edge over an arrogant Poly team.

Cross Country

11am at Town Moor On Saturday 3 March Newcastle’s crosscountry team will race Northumbria in a 5000m race held on Newcastle Town Moor.

For the last two years Newcastle have absolutely dominated the Poly in this event for the Stan Calvert, gaining maximum points on both occasions. This year, it might be closer in the men’s race, but the form guide points firmly to another Newcastle victory.

Stan Calvert veteran, danger man Martin Holley feels confident, “We raced them a couple of weeks ago at BUCS XCountry in Cardiff, with our Men’s A team beating theirs, and our Women’s team absolutely smashing them with all 12 of our girls finishing before all but one of theirs!”

Previous Encounters:

2009/10 - L 4 - 6 2010/11 - L 4 - 7 CC - 2010/11 W 2 - 0

Emily Waller Men’s 1sts, 12-2pm and Women, 10am-12pm at Gateshead Stadium. Men’s 2nds, 2.304.30pm at UNN Sport Central.

Following a very successful last year, the season Newcastle Men’s Firsts were promoted to the Premier League, where they have put up a very formidable fight in the face of such sporting universities as Loughborough and Leeds Met. In the upcoming Stan Calvert Cup match there is no clear favourite – Northumbria had a large intake of strong players this year, whilst Newcastle lost many but extra training sessions are being put into place to help raise the players’ standards at Newcastle, and hopefully this will give us the edge we need to win at Stan Calvert this year.

The Women’s Firsts have had a mixed season, still reeling from their relegation from the top flight last year and the loss of some key players. However, a promising influx of freshers has helped to boost their chances and the girls have fought hard, although been plagued with draws. Previous meetings with the Poly this season have proved less than fruitful with the Newcastle girls still struggling to deal with more experienced players, but the fact that many games were taken to three ends means that there is certainly hope for the side going into Stan Calvert.

The Men’s Seconds meanwhile have had a steady season, sitting comfortably in the league and enjoying some convincing wins. They have done well to reach the last 16 of the BUCS Conference Cup, with strong performances from all areas displaying the depth of this year’s squad. In regards to Stan Calvert, the team’s two losses to the Poly Seconds this year do not tell the full story: the last match saw it go down to the wire and could certainly have gone either way. The Men’s Seconds can go on to produce a promising result on the day.

Previous Encounters:

2008/09 M’s 1sts W 6 - 2 Men’s 2nds - W 7 - 1 Women’s - D 4 - 4 2009/10 M’s 1sts W 5 - 3 Men’s 2nds - L 2 - 6 Women’s - W 6 - 2 2010/11 M’s 1sts W - 6 - 2 Men’s 2nds - L 2 - 6 Women’s - L 3 - 5

MEN’S BASKETBALL

Dominic HarriottThompson 2/3/12 - 1sts, 4.15-6pm at UNN Sport Central.

4/3/12 - 2nds, 3.15-5pm at Gateshead Stadium. 3rds, 1-3pm at UNN Sport Central.

The men’s basketball always proves to be one of the toughest challenges for Team Newcastle at Stan Calvert and 2012 looks to be no different. With the strength of the Poly’s setup being bolstered by its recent partnership with the Newcastle Eagles, it will be harder than ever. However, after the Firsts’ and Seconds’ convincing wins against Manchester Met and York respectively, along with the 3rds

only narrowly losing to their Poly counterparts earlier in the season, the Knights go into this year’s Stan Calvert full of confidence.

After losing a host of quality players through graduation in 2011, it was always going to be a struggle for the Firsts to match the success of last year. Nevertheless, the Knights look to have guaranteed a hard-fought third place finish this season with Coach Ian Hewitt at the reigns. With current BBL star Notis Halkidis and the impressive Geordie Andrew Jonathan playing an important role for the Firsts, Team Northumbria cannot afford to take this game lightly.

Following a tough 2010/11, the Seconds’ relegation has left them competing in the same league as the 3rds. A slow start has put paid to their hopes of promotion this season, but a strong closer has seen local boy Tom Hall’s Knights secure a third place finish.

The Seconds will need to keep that momentum if they are to provide an upset against a Northumbria team two leagues above.

Despite a promising start, the thirds season has tailed-off towards the end following a string of disappointing results.

However, with enough players to give them a full squad at their disposal, and a good knowledge of the Northumbria team from their close encounter earlier in the season, the side have all the necessary tools to pull off a Stan Calvert upset this weekend.

Previous Encounters: 2008/09 1sts - W N’mbria 2nds - L 46 - 63 2009/10 1sts - Void 2010/11 1sts - L 57 - 81 2nds - L 55 - 78 3rds - W 70 - 65

The Courier

StanCalvert.3

Monday 27 February 2012

FENCING

James Docherty Men’s and Women’s 12-4pm both at NU Sport Centre Over the last few years, Fencing has seen split results, with one win and one loss on the day.

MEN’S FOOTBALL

Niall Haughey 1sts, 2pm at UNN Coach Lane.

2nds, 3pm and 3rds, 1pm at Gateshead Stadium,

WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

Rosie Wowk and Anna Mitchell 1sts, 1-3pm and 2nds, 11am1pm at NU Sport Centre.

History could well and truly be in the making, as Newcastle Women’s Basketball First team look to secure their first ever win in the Stan Calvert cup.

With a fresh line up and blind head coach, Chris Bunten, the Knights will be battling it out against the premier league outfit and favourites Northumbria in the Stan Calvert cup.

With the ultimate double team giants, Access Holloway and Tass Von Streng, a clear height advantage will help lock some precious points.

Everybody’s favourite Lithu-

anian duo Eglė Duleckytė and Inga Vareikaitė will be making their presence felt on court with their phenomenal shooting abilities, bewildering the opposition.

Newly promoted into division one, the Knights were touted to struggle this season, but the underdogs raised the stakes as they stormed their way to the top of the table.

With six consecutive wins in the bag, the girls have never looked back and will go into this game with high hopes to at least test their illustrious rivals.

Newcastle’s double agent has provided the team with the news that several of Northumbria’s key players may be missing from their line up on the day, a rumour that has added to the teams confidence.

A bad series of events cursed the Second team’s games from the beginning of this year’s league. This slow uninspiring start unfortunately continued to follow and they found themselves sitting bottom of the northern 3B league.

Determined to end the year holding on to their previous Stan Calvert victory, an all-new motivational attitude has been installed in the team

by Coach Costello, which was blindingly obvious to all who

watched their recent near triumph against Durham. With a brand new offence being perfectly played by their team’s points Elena Heraclidou, Lisa Wilson, Maria Morcillo and Anahita Mansouri baskets shall be set up and counted.

Three point specialists Josie Chandler and Captain Becky Burn will also hopefully be on top scoring form. On top of this fearsome attack, the Knights toughest and tallest defence ever; Anna Mitchell and Lucy Jillings will be athletically rebounding and relying on Kat McKay’s power booty boxing out to deny all attempts at scoring against the Knights. With every single part of their play polished and ultimately improved, the Newcastle Seconds have never wanted this win so much, and the chance of it taking place has never been so close to their grasp.

Previous Encounters:

2008/09 Northumbria W 2009/10 1sts Void 2nds W 70- 63 2010/11 1sts - L 111 - 37 2nds - W 52 - 20

Men’s football head into this year’s Stan Calvert as rank outsiders, having failed to taste victory on one occasion in the past few seasons. However, following last season’s highly competitive encounter, which saw the first and second teams lose by a single goal, the club will be confident that they can cause an upset this time around.

WOMEN’S FOOTBALL

Heather Campbell 2/3/12 - 1sts , 7.30pm at Longbenton 3G. 4/2/12 - 2nds, 11am at Gateshead Stadium 3G. NUWFC is having a fantastic season so far, putting them in great form for the upcoming Stan Calvert matches. In previous years the Northumbria sides have been much stronger as they play in higher leagues than Newcastle’s respective teams, but this year the Newcastle girls feel a genuine optimism of taking their superb league form into the upcoming matches and coming away

This year, Newcastle are hopeful of doing the double over Northumbria and taking all the available Stan Calvert points.

The Men’s Team have been successful all season, currently unbeaten in both league and knockout competitions with results ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, while Northumbria have struggled following their relegation to Tier One and again hover in the relegation zone, facing up to dropping into the second tier.

Northumbria’s Women’s team have been strong and remained unbeaten all season, but in their league match Newcastle pushed them every inch of the way, taking Foil and narrowly losing out in the other two weapons to give

Northumbria the closest thing to a scare they’ve received all year.

With home advantage, The Blades are confident that they can control the two matches across all three weapons and deliver four points to Team Newcastle, while also gaining retribution for last year’s agonising loss in the Men’s competition.

Previous Encounters:

2008/09 M’s - L 118 - 129 W’men’s - W 135 - 71 2009/10 M’s - L 118 - 123 W’men’s -W 135 - 118 2010/11 M’s L 118 - 135 W’men’s - W 132 - 118

Confidence is high with the First team going undefeated since in BUCS in the league since the first game of the season, scoring a total of 26 goals in seven League games.

This is a remarkable achievement for a side who were only promoted to division 1A last season. Northumbria Firsts are an excellent side who are doing well in the Premier North League, but victory could be a real possibility for a side which has thrived with the underdog tag this season.

The Second team has been troubled by inconsistency so far this campaign, and are looking nervously over their shoulder at the relegation trap door. However, the campaign has also included two victories over Northumbria’s Third team, meaning Newcastle’s second string should go into their fixture with no fear, with their opponents Northumbria Seconds rooted to the bottom of the division above. The return from injury of several players will also boost the team in their pursuit of victory and a successful second half of the campaign.

The Third team have been flying high this season. They are sitting at the top of their league, and secured promotion last Wednesday with a victory over York seconds. The side were comfortably beaten in this fixture last season, and will be looking to reverse the result this time around, emulating the seconds and piling more misery for Northumbria thirds in fixtures against the Royals this season. With many freshers having an opportunity to taste their first Stan Calvert experience, this should be a hearty and intense fixture.

with a result.

The Firsts sit at the top of their league with an outstanding goal difference of +38 from only seven games and it is widely believed to be the best Newcastle University Women’s football team in recent years.

They have been scoring goals for fun this season and their attacking power will definitely provide a bigger test to the Northumbria defence than in previous years. This will be a great opportunity for the girls to take on a notoriously talented Northumbria side that sits at the top of the Northern Premier League, and play against a team filled with international and semi-professional players.

The Seconds are also in great form this year and currently sit third in their league with games in hand, having become a much more organised and defensively solid team than in previous years. They have a good balance between older experienced players and new and exciting freshers and will face a Northumbria team that currently sits mid-table in the same division as Newcastle Firsts.

Northumbria will undoubt-

edly be as tough an opponent as always, but perhaps this year for the first time, Newcastle will be considered the in-form team and look to take the game to Northumbria to seal their first win since 2009.

In previous years Northumbria have been one of the top teams in women’s football proving too difficult a task for the Newcastle girls, but they have never faced the majority of the new Newcastle players.

With confidence running high throughout the club and both teams in fantastic league positions, the girls will go into these matches without fear and feel like a good performance on the night could see them walking away with the biggest result in the clubs’ history.

Previous Encounters:

2008/09 - 1sts - Void 2nds - L 1 - 4 3rds - L 0 - 1 2009/10 - 1sts - L 0 - 2 2nds - L 3 - 5 3rds - L 0 -1 2010/11 - 1sts - L 4 - 5 2nds - L 1 - 3 3rds - L 0 - 4

Previous Encounters:

2008/09 - 1sts - Void 2nds - W 2 - 0 2009/10 - 1sts - L 1 - 10 2nds - L 3 - 5 2010/11 - 1sts - L 0 - 6 2nds - L 0 - 7

4.StanCalvert

GAELIC FOOTBALL

Finbar Feeney 2pm at Bullocksteads With the persistence of wanting this fixture to be included last year Newcastle’s Gaelic Football side repaid the University’s faith with a surprising thumping of the Poly in a score-line of 1-13 to 1-05 securing bragging rights

GOLF

Richard Nichols 1sts, 11am at Parklands.

2nds, 11am N’umberland GC The first team golfers have not had the best couple of years with a relegation last year and currently sitting in a mid-table position. The last meeting between Newcastle firsts and Northumbria firsts still lingers in the memory of the side after a 5.5 to 0.5 thrashing, making revenge a must this

GYMNASTICS

Charlotte Rutherford 29/3/12 - Men’s and Women’s, 2-5pm at Benfield Gymnastics Centre.

Gymnastics was only included in the Stan Calvert programme for the first time last year with the men’s team triumphing and the women’s team narrowly missing out on the points.

This year we are really pleased to once again be entering both a men’s and women’s team, both of which are looking stronger than ever.

With an ex-Olympic gym-

Monday 27 February 2012

for the following year.

Northumbria are highly respected within the GAA scene in England. They are positioned within the top 6 in the country so will go into the game as clear favourites.

This year Newcastle have played the Poly four times and unfortunately have come out on the loosing side in all four occasions and with Northumbria sitting in BUCS division one while Newcastle lie in the Division bellow, the odds looks stacked in the Poly’s favour. However, Northumbria have lost all of their league games this season whilst Newcastle have reached the semi-finals of Division two (Still too be played due to the severe weather conditions making pitches unplayable).

Newcastle will go in to the game the in form side, Northumbria as favourites, but as is the nature of Stan Calvert anything could happen. The

match will be held at Bullocksteads which has not been a happy hunting ground of Newcastle since their establishment as a club in 2009, as appose to the fortress that they have made of Killingworth.

At the end of the day, Newcastle are underdogs, but will look to make up for that with a level of pride, hunger and deremination that Northumbria will not be able to match.

The side continue to train hard and will have a full squad to select from, which is a rarity in a season plagued with injuries.

So with plenty of work over the next few training sessions an upset could well be on the cards.

time around. There are major selection problems for El Presidenté Peter Sym and the captain Ethan Smith who has a mighty strong team to choose from.

Peter the president is an obvious choice, with an unbeaten record against the poly in the Stan Calvert to date, he will be looking to help the team turn the tide. Ethan the remarkably long hitting, skinny scouser and Richard the soft southerner are also undefeated against the Poly, and have a hunger to continue their winning run.

Paddy with his impressive, but probably unintentional dipping drive, has a one loss and two win record. Immy, the only girl on the team, who always turns up to practice and games drunk, has only played in one match at the Stan Calvert and won by using her incredibly good looks and golfing talent to secure new stalker and a win.

There are also two new additions to the first team this year, Mikey (the Geordie fresher)

will be making his debut against the poly and will try his upmost to secure a win and evade serious forfeits in the evening. Aaron is the other new addition to the squad and has had an impressive season thus far against his opponents.

The Newcastle team looks like it is going to be as strong as ever this year with a mixture of veterans with a strong Stan Calvert record and the new recruits the team will stop at nothing to crush the rather simple Northumbrians.

nast as coach Newcastles gmynasts will be hoping that they can improve on last years overall draw.

The men will compete on three pieces of apparatus and must demonstrate strength, agility and flexibility while the women compete on two demonstrating grace, flexibility and fluid movement - no mean feat!

The gymnastics will take place more than three weeks after all of the other events and so could be crucial should the rult be in the balance.

We’d love to have some spectators to cheer us on in what is our first competition of the year at Benfield School from 2-5pm on Wednesday 29 February.

Previous Encounters:

20010/11 D 2 - 2

The Courier

PARKLANDS GOLF CLUB

BULLOCKSTEADS

Metro to Kenton Bankfoot

The Courier recommends a taxi or a lift...

Gaelic Football, Lacrosse, Rugby Union.

Golf

Previous Encounters: 20010/11 W 2 - 0

NU SPORTS CENTRE

Metro to Haymarket Basketball, Fencing, Squash, Table Tennis.

Volleyball.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 D 3 - 3 2008/09 1sts - L 0.5 - 5.5 2nds - W 6 - 0 2009/10 1sts - NCL W/O 2nds - Void 2010/11 1sts - W 5.5 - 0.5 2nds - L 2.5 - 3.5

MEN’S HOCKEY and this year should be no different.

Anything but three wins from three will be seen as a Sam Mawer 1sts 3pm, 2nds 1.30pm and 3rds 12pm, all at UNN Coach Lane The Stan Calvert Cup is a competition which has recently brought unrivalled success to the Men’s Hockey Club

disappointment, even in the hostile atmosphere created at Northumbria’s pitches.

The Firsts are enjoying one of their best ever seasons under the leadership of flamboyant defender John Colville; they

are currently unbeaten in BUCS and sitting top of

North 1A. They take to the field confident of repeating last year’s success against an ailing Poly side that

will have three key players suspended. The Royals carry a goal threat throughout the team, from centre back Max Underwood to his brother Ben up front and should prove too strong for their noisy neighbours.

The Seconds, led by lashloving James Jordan, are also still in the hunt for promotion and will be expecting to show the superior strength in depth of the University. With Charlie Wilkes Green in lethal form up front and veteran defender Nick McLellan optimistically looking to clinch his first Stan Calvert goal, it is hard not to predict a difficult day for the Poly Seconds.

The Thirds have endured a difficult season and find themselves staring at a relegation from an admittedly tough division. Despite this they will be expecting to claim a comfort-

The Courier

StanCalvert.5

Monday 27 February 2012

LONGBENTON

COACH LANE

Bus from Northumbria Campus or Metro to four lane ends

MEN’S LACROSSE

WOMEN’S LACROSSE

Rory Brigstock-Barron 2pm at Bullocksteads

Hannah Fisher 12pm at Bullocksteads

Newcastle men’s Lacrosse have been in irresistable form this season since a dissapointing defeat to Hull in October have won each of their league games to sit at the top of the Northern Division 2A. Despite going out of the Cup last Wednesday in a narrow 4-3 defeat to Manchester seconds the side will be confident of repeating last years Stan Calvert annihilation of their rivals with a winning record against Northumbria in recent friendlies to boot.

These results have come in spite of the Northumbria side being in the league above Newcastle. The Poly sit comfortably in mid table and on paper should be favourites but Newcastle will be backing themselves to continue their spirited league form in this most crucial of ties.

Newcastle will be looking to free scoring ‘Birthday Boy’ Ben Beattie and clinical President Andy Oliver to give them an advantage that their strong back line can defend.

Playmaker and captain Zanner Michael will be pulling the strings and being one of many potentially in their last Stan Calvert, will be keen to end on a high.

Newcastle women’s lacrosse have been enjoying one of their most successful seasons to date, and as a result are headed into the Stan Calvert clash with confidence.

Last year the superior Newcastle team outclassed Northumbria all over the pitch, leading them to a 27-2 victory.

The Uni’s attack was inventive, fluid and easily outmanoeuvred the Poly’s defence. When they tried to reply, Newcastle’s defence were an immovable object that was only penetrated twice in the game. This year the team is on top form and expecting another healthy win.

The squad have bonded well through some tough matches in the 2011/12 season so far, and this hard work paid off when Newcastle Firsts became the most successful lacrosse team in the University’s history when they reached the final of the BUCS trophy. They are currently sitting second in their table and looking ahead to promotion to the Premier league. The Second team, captained by Alex Fitzroy-Stone, have also had their successes and are currently sitting comfortably in the middle of the Northern 1A division - a great achievement considering they are one of only two second teams in this league.

The team playing on 4 March will consist of a mixture of the First and Second squads, including two Scotland international players – Emily Cullen (straight attack) and Emma Wauchope (Goalie). In light of the fantastic success the squad has already achieved this season under the leadership of club captains Abi Sands and Antonia “Toto” Pollock, and the high quality of players both old and new, Newcastle are expecting to come away from an enjoyable match with 2 points for Team Newcastle.

Men’s football and Men’s Hockey.

Metro to Four Lane Ends

COCHRANE PARK

NORTHUMBERLAND CLUB

Women’s Football, Women’s Hockey.

Bus numbers 306/308 from St Mary’s Place to Benfield Road.

Women’s Rugby Union

BENFIELD

Metro to West Jesmond or Ilford Road

Metro to Walkergate Station

Tennis

Gymnastics

HEATON SPORTS GROUND

Walk down Jesmond road Men’s Rugby

UNN CITY CAMPUS GATESHEAD STADIUM Metro to Haymarket Men’s Badminton, Men’s Basketball, Men’s Squash, Swimming

Metro to Gateshead Stadium

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 W 17 - 3 2008/09 L 2 - 10 2009/10 Void 2010/11 8 - 2

Athletics, Badminton, Basketball, Football, Netball, Rugby League, Rugby Union. able victory in the final game of this year’s Stan Calvert Cup. Northumbria will struggle to stop the silky skills of Callum Scott in the engine room and if anything should get through the superior Uni backline, they can be confident that impressive fresher keeper Archie Witter will be there to preserve the Newcastle goal.

LADIES’ HOCKEY

Previous Encounters:

2008/09 1sts - W 4 - 3 2nds - W 6 - 1 3rds - W 4- 1 2009/10 1sts - W 6 - 3 2nds - W 5 - 2 3rds - W 2- 0 2010/11 1sts - W 6 - 3 2nds - W 5 - 2 3rds - W 2- 0

Alice Hogg 1sts 3pm, 2nds 1.30pm and 3rds 12pm, all at Longbenton The season so far has produced a wide variety of results for the club, but a drastic improvement across the board puts us in a good position to challenge the Poly next weekend. The benefit of having an extra team not competing in

Stan Calvert allows the club to bolster teams with extra capable players, a privilege Northumbria do not have.

The first team especially have had a season of nothing but improvement.

Beating teams 10-0, they once drew 1-1 with. Currently leading their Saturday league with a strong likelihood of promotion, they are also chasing Manchester Firsts in a comfortable second position in the BUCS league. With the Poly team also part of this league, the Firsts

stats do not make happy reading for Northumbria.

However this is by no means going to be an easy fixture - drawing 2-2 with Northumbria earlier in the season is a clear example of what local rivalry can do to a score line.

The second team are in an equally encouraging position to thrash the lo-

cal rivals this weekend. They sit top of the BUCS league, four positions above their Northumbria counterparts and an extremely able team should make for an excellent watch. A comfortable Saturday league position with a large goal difference suggests the creation of a goalscoring machine that the Poly should be scared of.

Similarly for Newcastle’s third team being a league above their Northumbrian opponents has allowed the development of a higher paced and more skilful game, which will no doubt lead to success on Sunday. A revitalisation of the team in recent weeks means moral should be high for some good old Poly-bashing.

There is little doubt that, once again, the Ladies Hockey Club will produce results needed for the University’s retention of the Stan Calvert Cup.

Previous Encounters:

2007/08 W 28 - 1

Previous Encounters:

2008/09 1sts - W 3 - 0 2nds - W 3 - 0 3rds - W NCL 2009/10 1sts - W 6 - 1 2nds - W 4 - 2 3rds - W 2- 0 2010/11 1sts - L 0 - 1 2nds - W 2 - 1 3rds - W 2- 0

6.StanCalvert

MOUNTAIN BIKING

Ali Masson Hamsterley Forest at 1pm On 29 February the Downhill (DH) and Cross Country (XC) teams of Newcastle University Cycling Club will be heading out to Hamsterley Forest to take on the riders from Northumbria.

Apart from the annual BUCS events this is the only other time when they race against other students.

NETBALL

Fiona Moss

1sts Gateshead Stadium 11am 2nds Gateshead Stadium 12.30pm 3rds Gateshead Stadium 2pm 4ths Gateshead Stadium 3.30pm

A strong year for the Netball Club, leaves them looking ahead to Stan Calvert more prepared and determined than ever before. Last year saw a tight contest on the netball court.

The Seconds left depleted, losing by only a single goal, whilst the only Newcastle win came courtesy of the Thirds.

However, despite this the Uni are filled with confidence.

An exceptionally successful season provides NUNC with a valid expectation that they can reverse last year’s result and help the Uni beat the Poly.

Though Newcastle’s Firsts have played this season at the league below their local rivals, they have been undefeated in Division 1A. In contrast Northumbria have suffered a great deal of defeats, winning only one game this season. Hopefully the First’s winning mind-set, alongside the confident moral of the team, will assist in pinching the win, and if they play to the outstanding level they have done all season, they will do just that.

Losing by a solitary goal last season, the Seconds are ever hungrier for a win at Stan Calvert. Topping their table and reaching the semi finals of the cup has shown how strong the Seconds have become.

Newcastle beat Northumbria in the cup quarter finals last Wednesday, coming through a real test of the strength of the two teams to record a 43-34 win.

As the only NUNC team to

Monday 27 February 2012

In the past our XC riders have often done well, consistently outperforming Northumbria both individually and as a team. This success should be set to continue due to the regular training and ability of the team members.

The DH riders have previously had a little more trouble in securing the individual win but due to the high standard of everyone on the team, such a win is by no means out of reach.

Chances of a win this year are looking good though with one of the Poly’s main riders of the past now graduated and a couple of fast new guys entering into the Newcastle team.

Previous Encounters:

2009/10 - DH W 11 - 10 XC W 18 - 3 2010/11 - DH L 38 - 39 XC W 36 - 19 win at Stan Calvert last year, the Thirds hope to be a part of an even bigger victory this time around. Even though they have played at a higher standard this year, they have been able to firmly position themselves in the top half of the table. In a league above that of Northumbria Thirds, the Uni’s experience and solid performances look set to give them an advantage to win on the day.

The Fourths have not had their most successful season this year. Occupying the position at the bottom of the table, while Northumbria sits at the top, suggests that Newcastle will have a tough task on the day if they are to take home a win. However the Uni knows how to make the most of their opportunities, and on their last encounter with the Poly they kept their heads and showed a strong performance, winning by two goals.

Hope-

fully they can reenact this on Stan Calvert Cup day.

Previous Encounters:

2009/10 1sts - W 57 - 37 2nds - W 33 - 31 3rds - W 34 - 29 4ths - D 38 - 38 2010/11 1sts - L 33 - 39 2nds - L 33 - 34 3rds - W 54 - 30 4ths - L 30 - 57

RUGBY LEAGUE

Ian McPherson 1sts Gateshead Stadium 5.30pm 2nds Gateshead Stadium at 2pm The Owls have enjoyed a relatively successful season to date, with the first team finishing runners up in the Premier North league and both teams still in with a chance of silverware in the cups. This season, like every season, will be judged on Stan Calvert success however.

The Firsts are yet to face the Poly this season, having avoided each other in the cup, so they are somewhat of an unknown quantity after last year’s disappointment.

Fortunately Owls’ double trouble pairing Micky Ward and Danni Capertoss should be fit for the 4 March (although ‘fit’ is used very loosely for the latter) and will give NURL some very welcome selection headaches.

Both sides are likely to field much changed sides from this time last year, but Dave Knox’s knuckleheads are in with a real shout of causing an upset on the day.

The seconds have had a less consistent season, failing to convert a number of fine displays into wins. The Seconds have met the Poly twice in the league this season and have been on the wrong side of some pretty large score lines, however, if 2011’s dramatic last minute win in Stan Calvert is anything to go by, NURL are more than capable of embarrassing their hollow-headed neighbours.

This match will be decided by availability, something that has plagued the Seconds all year, but with a fully fit squad, and after a convincing win against Lincoln in the cup behind them, the Owls can be optimistic going into this one.

Both teams are in with a real chance on Sunday 4 March and are looking forward to seeing two men and a dog fill up Gateshead stadium before the urine throwing crowds start filling the seats for the Union match.

Previous Encounters: 2009/10 1sts - W 40 - 6 2nds - VOID 2010/11 1sts - L 22 - 28 2nds - W 30 - 28

The Courier

RUGBY UNION

Colin Henrys Sports Editor 1sts Gateshead Stadium 7.30pm 2nds Bullocksteads 2pm 3rds Bullocksteads 2pm The showpiece match of Stan Calvert Cup day will take place at Gateshead Stadium at 7.30pm between the Uni and Poly’s Men’s Rugby Union First teams. Prior to that however, the Seconds, Thirds and Fourths will all be in action too. The former two will be playing away at Bullocksteads,

while the Fourths have a home match at Heaton.

All three teams currently SAM compete in BUCS Divi2B alongside the Poly’s LESLIE-MILLAR sion second team so will enter their Club Captain matches as undoubted favourites, with head-to-head results this season having also been encouraging.

“I believe that the Rugby The Seconds match, like Club will secure four out the Firsts, will double as a of four victories against BUCS fixture and Newcastle Northumbria. The Firsts currently sit two places above will face a hard battle given their Poly counterparts in the we are about level in the table, having won their reverse BUCS Premier North Division, however given we have fixture 39-21 back in Novemcome close against teams of ber.

Newcastle’s Thirds also sit a much higher standard in previous games and our win above the Poly Seconds in the away against Northumbria at league table and have recorded Kingston Park, I believe that one win and one loss in their matches against them this we will pull through and get season. Northumbria’s Thirds the win. sit in the division below and As always in these types have had a mixed season, with of games the support is six wins and five defeats so far, most important. Players in the Rugby Club always have meaning that they are unlikely these big games in the back to win promotion. They have of their mind, as they always also lost heavily to the Uni’s Fourth team, suffering a maswant to play in them. sive 51-0 defeat at BullockThe support will be vital steads in the cup. on the day and I’m sure the As a result the Fourths guys will want to show what Newcastle Rugby is all about, will enter their match with given that for many it will be Northumbria Fourths as overwhelming favourites against a their last Stan Calvert.” team fighting relegation two

WOMEN’S RUGBY

Emma Boyle

1sts Cochrane Park 2pm NUWRFC’s season has been nothing but success so far. We have remained undefeated in the league, comfortably sitting at the top of the Northern 1A with a nine-point lead.

The girls have also remained strong in the Trophy and are into the semi-finals after an

impressive 24-7 over Dundee last Wednesday. NUWRFC enter this years’ Stan Calvert with the record of having won in the previous two years too.

This year we possess a dynamic and versatile team.

We may not be the biggest in the league but we have proven that size doesn’t matter. We are strong and fast and will be aiming to utilise these attributes to stretch Northumbria’s defence and run rings around them. The skill level of NUWRFC this season has baffled defensive lines; we will be looking to use our slick hands and trusty centres to advance up the pitch. With both the competence and opportunistic nature of our forwards it is more than likely that they will be competing with our backs for tries.

Having beaten Northumbria away at Bullocksteads earlier in the season (22-7), the girls

divisions below Newcastle.

In fact, the first team will be the only team entering their match behind their Poly

RICHARD WALKER-TAYLOR First Team Captain

“Everybody in the team has been looking forward to Stan Calvert for a very long time and with it being so close we have been putting in the extra effort and hours at training.

I believe the type of rugby we have been playing recently is an exciting and expansive game and we are looking forward to playing with that same attitude on the night.

We have a good chance to make the university proud and we are going to take this opportunity with both hands.

The crowd always plays a huge part at these events and have to be ready to give as good as they will get from the poly.

I can’t wait for the big day, and can only envisage a Newcastle win by the time the final whistle blows.” are eager to play them on Team Newcastle turf. The previous win must not make NUWRFC complacent; we know Northumbria will predominantly play a ‘forwards’ game but that will not trouble the strength of our pack. This season we have proved our skill, fitness and commitment in both the backs and the forwards.

Stan Calvert will definitely be a tough and physical game but nothing NUWRFC can’t handle.

At 2pm on 4 March, the girls will wear their Team Newcastle shirts with pride, play their hearts out and put some points on the board towards bringing the Stan Calvert Cup home.

Previous Encounters:

2009/10 1sts - W 10 - 0 2010/11 1sts - W 12 - 0

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StanCalvert.7

Monday 27 February 2012

SQUASH

rivals in the league table.

That could all change with a win on the night however, and as well as retaining the pride of the city, will all but guarantee the Royals another season in the BUCS Premiership.

In the reverse fixture at Kingston Park in November, Newcastle won a scrappy match 18-14 after a good second-half display. As has been a recurring theme this season however, the Uni struggled in the scrum and it could be here where the game is won or lost.

Nevertheless, a fighting display could well earn the Royals another famous win.

Previous Encounters:

2012’s match, however, has the potential to be more closely fought than the previous year as the teams are quite evenly matched – the only thing separating the two in the league currently is goal difference. With any luck Newcastle will be quick and nimble from the off in order to secure some early games to build up some confidence.

The matches this year are being held on Newcastle turf, and all are hopeful that this Hannah Fisher home ground advantage will Men’s 1sts Sport Central at 4pm play in our favour. Predic2nds Sport Central at 2pm tions aside, this year’s matches 3rds Sport Central at 12pm promise to be close and hard Women’s 1sts Sport Centre at 2pm fought, but hopefully a win 2nds Sport Centre at 12pm and four points for Team Newcastle is within a rackets reach.

The Men’s teams meanwhile In 2011, Ladies Squash had will be looking to continue mixed results from their Stan their dominance of this fixture Calvert fixtures, with one in recent years. In the last win and one loss from their three Stan Calvert clashes they matches. However, 2012 could have earned maximum points see four points being taken for the Uni and are favourhome for Team Newcastle. ites to do so again. Both the The First team, captained Firsts and Seconds are placed by club president Juliet Facey, in leagues above their Poly have had a very successful counterparts, while the Thirds BUCS season so far, remainhave already beaten Northuming unbeaten in their league matches and therefore topping bria Thirds twice this year. It is the Northern 1A division. This hard to look beyond a Newcastle whitewash this year. gives the team a psychological edge going into the fixture as Northumbria only finished in Previous fourth place. A quiet confiEncounters: dence is building within the squad, whom are all hoping 2009/10 -M 1sts W 4 - 1 for payback after last years 4-0 M 2nds W 3 - 0 Poly whitewash.

W 1sts W 3 - 1 The Second team, captained

by Katy Stockwell are also W 2nds L 0 - 5 sitting above Northumbria 2010/11 - M 1sts W 3 - 2 Second team in their BUCS M 2nds W 3 - 0 league, with matches left to play. They were successful last M 3rds W 3 - 0 year, beating the Poly 3-1 in an W 1sts L 0 - 4 exciting run of matches.

W 2nds W 3 - 1

SWIMMING

Despite possessing swimmers of the ability of Will Jolly, who has been selected to trial for the Olympics squad, Newcastle have lost their previous two Stan Calvert race meets.

Swimming at Sports Central, there have been two close affairs against an undoubtedly strong Northumbria side but on both occasions it was the Poly who came out on top.

2008/09 1sts - L 8 - 36 2nds - W 41 - 24 3rds - L 10 - 43 4ths - VOID 2009/10 -All matches VOID 2010/11 1sts - W 24 - 13 2nds - W 32 - 26 3rds - W 65 - 3 4ths - W 24 - 10

SKIING

Alex Abbot

Silksworth (28/02) 7pm NUSSC are having another very strong season, even with the loss of two top skiers last year, showing their depth of talent. With no known defeats at the gloved hands of the Poly, that we can recall, the side hope to continue this run on Tuesday 28 Febraury with

Vincent Allison

Sport Central at 4pm

two wins from their first and second teams.

Although results before Christmas were not to the usual high standard that NUSSC has set themselves, a Christmas trip to Val Thorens proved to be just the tonic and has been followed by success at several competitions in the dry and indoor slope BUSC competition.

Having been crowned regional Champions on both the Northern dry slope league and the Midlands round of the British Uni indoor champs this year NUSSC go into this as favourites once again, led by their fearless Race Captain Alex Abbott. Especially after the Seconds beat the Poly Firsts earlier in the season.

The introduction of a couple of quick freshers united with our more experienced racers, in the guise of Chris Penrose and Chris Thompson, has

again given NUSSC some exciting on edge skiing and new talent that makes it difficult to look past a Stan Calvert clean sweep on the day.

The Parker sisters are both on top form and have been battling it out all year for that top spot, pushing each other to be the best they can be and proving themselves among the best female racers in the country.

Northumbria have always given us a good race and shouldn’t be taken lightly, but with NUSSC’s current form and string of victories behind them I’m confident that we can take the wins once again.

Previous Encounters:

2009/10 - W 5 - 0 2010/11 - W 5 - 0

TENNIS

Libby Mitchell

M 1sts N’berland Club at 1.30pm M 2nds N’berland Club at 10am W 1sts Churchill College at 10am W 2nds Churchill College at 10am

After switching to segregated training sessions this year, both the Men’s and the Women’s tennis teams have had successful seasons.

Both the Women’s Firsts and Seconds, and the Men’s Firsts, are placed either first or second in their BUCS leagues.

Although the Women’s Firsts lost comfortably in Stan Calvert last year, their Seconds won and an intake of good freshers can only help this year, providing strength not only at first team level but also for the respective second teams too.

Previous Encounters:

2009/10 -M 1sts W 10 - 0 W 1sts W 7 - 3 W 2nds W 6 - 2 2010/11 - M 1sts W 12 - 0 M 2nds W 12 - 0 W 1sts L 0 - 12 W 2nds W 12 - 0 Although it will be a difficult encounter again this time around, Newcastle will go into their races on the back of a successful year so far under the presidency of Catherine Freeman and if everybody performs on the day, there is no reason why they can not win.

Previous Encounters:

2009/10 - L 2.5 - 3.5 2010/11 - L 2 - 4

WATERPOLO

Tom Connolly M - Sports Central (02/03) 7pm W - Sports Central (02/03) 7pm For only the second time ever Newcastle and Northumbria will go head to head in Stan Calvert Waterpolo.

Last year saw Northumbria’s debut season for both men and women’s Waterpolo and

TABLE TENNIS

Tom Richards

M 1sts NU Sports Centre at 2pm M 2nds NU Sports Centre at 12pm W 1sts NU Sports Centre at 12pm

Table Tennis was one of Newcastle’s most successful sports at Stan Calvert last year as they

VOLLEYBALL

Charles Cain

M NU Sports Centre 8pm (01/03) W NU Sports Centre 6pm (01/03)

With some key additions to the Men’s squad and the introduction of new head coach Paul Welsh at the start of the season, there was an aura of optimism amongst a new look men’s side full of potential.

With the team finishing in a higher than expected eighth place at the Student Cup finals ranking them within the top eight student teams in the country, as well as sitting tied top of their BUCS division - behind only on points difference - the team has seen their fair share of success already this season.

However, for the fixture, Newcastle will be without key players Genkov, Desfeux (both unavailable) and Holstov (injured). Despite returns from both Browne and Cain from minor injury, captain Al-

they were easily turned over by an experienced Newcastle, however, with recent investment into Northumbria’s new pool and coaching staff this year’s competition looks to be a closer one.

Despite this both Newcastle teams remain confident in their form this season, which has been outstanding. The men gained promotion back into the top flight in BUCS and a place at Semi-finals, this was matched by the women who have qualified for the top tier BUCS Semi-finals. Both teams have never suffered less than a victory to Northumbria in all competitions.

The ones to watch are Mike Grantham, Alexis Georgiou and Stuart Mac Manus whose relentless offensive play has put all three among the top five goal scorers in local league competition. Mark Gabrielle

secured three wins against their Poly counterparts out of three.

Led by Club President Hon Cheu Sham, Newcastle will be confident of more success in a sport that they have traditionally come out on top in on Varsity day, particularly as they hold home advantage this year.

Previous Encounters:

2009/10 -M 1sts L 6 - 11 M 2nds W 12 - 5 W 1sts W 5 - 0 2010/11 - M 1sts W 9 - 8 M 2nds W 15 - 2 W 1sts W 5 - 0 Shafai in hot, hot form and a Northumbria National League player as a coach for a tactical edge, only time will tell who will be going out to celebrate.

Having lost many players from last year, the Women’s team have had to build almost a completely new squad. This process was aided to some extent by the introduction of the new head coach assisted by Desfeux and Cain.

The team have worked hard this season with their current league position of third (with their survival in the division already assured) as well as a continuing run in the cup attesting to this.

Although there is no denying that Northumbria are overwhelming favourites in this match-up, with their Women’s National League team ranked third in the country, and having many players on scholarship, an upset could be on the cards.

With a combination of hard work and a coach that has the inside scoop on the opposition as well as all players fired up and ready to go, this match has the potential to be interesting.

Previous Encounters:

2009/10 -M 1sts W 3 - 1 W 1sts W 3 - 0 2010/11 - M 1sts L 0 - 3 W 1sts L 0 - 3 makes his Stan Calvert debut for the Royals after shifting his allegiance from captaining the Northumbria side last year. Nikki Powley also makes her Stan Calvert debut for the women whose outfield play has been crucial to their success this year as well, with captain Emily Fairbrother orchestrating from the back, with solid performances in goal.

The games are to be held on Friday 2 March, 7pm at Sport Central, and are the only Stan Calvert event to provide a winning combination of rivalry, water, full contact and of course plenty of flesh!

Previous Encounters:

2010/11 - M 1sts W 10 - 3 W 1sts W 16 - 2

8.StanCalvert

Monday 27 February 2012

Can Team Newcastle make it five in a row?

Those in the know look ahead to the big day.

Alice Holloway (AU Officer) The last four Stan Calvert events have seen Team Newcastle continually batter the Poly in a range of different disciplines. However, with overall wins of more than 30 points for the last two competitions, the pressure is really on now to make sporting history and ensure Team Newcastle lifts that Cup for a fifth consecutive year!

I’m confident that we can do it, but every competitor will need to push themselves to the limit; every fixture counts regardless of whether it’s Rugby Union firsts or Golf threes. This year, a number of fixtures are happening before the main event at Gateshead Stadium and it is essential we try our hardest to bring in the points early to

psych out the opposition. Luckily we have already secured comprehensive wins in both American Football and Cricket, leaving the current score at 8-0 to Newcastle, with 18 opportunities for points still to go pre-4 March!

Team Newcastle will be relying on those sports such as Hockey, Rowing and Skiing, to name a few, that consistently bring home the win, to perform well on the day. But for me, it’s always going to be a Newcastle win.

Despite the Poly’s £35m sports centre refurbishment and rumours of a ‘Stan Calvert review’ over the summer, I have full faith that all our athletes will give 100% and ensure the Cup stays where it belongs.

Fraser Kennedy (Performance Sport Manager) To be in with a chance of making history and winning 5 five in a row is credit to all those who have gone before us.

I think we are really up against it this year if I am being honest. The head to head matches so far between teams within the BUCS leagues/Cup competitions is definitely in favour of Northumbria.

If we can pull this one out the bag it will could be our greatest achievement in Stan Calvert to date, I really need

the teams and certain sports to pull it out the bag.

For us to be competing against such a massive sporting institution is credit in itself, but I live and breathe Newcastle Sport and will fight to the end and I expect all the Team Newcastle teams to do the same.

If that happens and we lose then fair enough I can’t ask for any more but if every team gives their all, blood/sweat and tears then we are in with a shout.

Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin, Rory Brigstock-Barron and Charlie Scott (The Courier Sports Editors) Having been following the progress of Team Newcastle over the course of the year so far, we can say with confidence that if we are to come out on top at this year’s Stan Calvert Cup every single Newcastle team is going to have to perform to the best of their ability.

Nevertheless, there have been a number of teams, in particular the two football first teams, who would not be expected to get victories against the Poly but who have impressed us a lot this year, and with a bit of luck on the day they could well cause some upsets.

There can be no doubt that the Poly

have some formidable sides, such ast heir women’s basketball, who are currently sitting in third place in the Northern Premier and Northumbria Netball side plying their trade in the National Super League. However, Newcastle always bring their A-game to the Stan Calvert and will fight for every inch in every game.

With our sensational record over the last few years, it would be foolish for anyone to predict anything other than another Stan Calvert victory party in Tiger on Sunday, but it will not come easily by any means.

The Courier

STAN CALVERT CUP 2011/12 Date

Sport

Venue

13 November 2011 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 2 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 22 February 2012 22 February 2012 22 February 2012 3 March 2012 3 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 2 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 29 February 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 29 February 2012 29 February 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 29 February 2012 29 February 2012 29 February 2012 29 February 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 28 February 2012 28 February 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 4 March 2012 3 March 2012 3 March 2012 1 March 2012 1 March 2012 2 March 2012 2 March 2012

American Football Athletics Badminton - M 1 Badminton - M 2 Badminton - W Basketball - M 1 Basketball - M 2 Basketball - M3 Basketball - W 1 Basketball - W 2 Cricket - M 1 Cricket - M 2 Cricket - W 1 Cross Country M Cross Country W Fencing - M Fencing - W Football - M 1 Football - M 2 Football - M 3 Football - W1 Football - W2 Gaelic Football Golf - 1 Golf - 2 Gymnastics Hockey - M 1 Hockey - M 2 Hockey - M 3 Hockey - W 1 Hockey - W 2 Hockey - W 3 Lacrosse - M Lacrosse - W Mountain Biking DH Mountain Biking XC Netball - 1 Netball - 2 Netball - 3 Netball - 4 Rowing - IM W Quad Rowing - IM M Quad Rowing - Senior W Quad Rowing - Senior M Quad Rugby League - 1 Rugby League - 2 Rugby Union - M 1 Rugby Union - M 2 Rugby Union - M 3 Rugby Union - M 4 Rugby Union - W Skiing - 1 Skiing - 2 Squash - M 1 Squash - M 2 Squash - M 3 Squash - W 1 Squash - W 2 Swimming - M Swimming - W Table Tennis - M 1 Table Tennis - M 2 Table Tennis - W Tennis - M 1 Tennis - M 2 Tennis - W 1 Tennis - W 2 Volleyball - M Volleyball - W Waterpolo - M Waterpolo - W

Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium UNN Sport Central Gateshead Stadium UNN Sport Central Gateshead Stadium UNN Sport Central NU Sports Centre NU Sports Centre South Northumberland CC South Northumberland CC South Northumberland CC Town Moor Town Moor NU Sports Centre NU Sports Centre UNN Sport Central Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Longbenton Sports Ground Gateshead Stadium Bullocksteads Parklands Matfen Hall Matfen Hall UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central Longbenton Sports Ground Longbenton Sports Ground Longbenton Sports Ground Bullocksteads Bullocksteads Hamsterley Forest Hamsterley Forest Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Newburn Water Sports Centre Newburn Water Sports Centre Newburn Water Sports Centre Newburn Water Sports Centre Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Bullocksteads Bullocksteads Heaton Sports Ground Cochrane Park Silksworth Ski Slope Silksworth Ski Slope UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central NU Sports Centre NU Sports Centre UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central NU Sports Centre NU Sports Centre NU Sports Centre Northumberland Club Northumberland Club Churchill College Churchill College NU Sports Centre NU Sports Centre UNN Sport Central UNN Sport Central

Time NEW WIN 38-8 13.00 12.00 14.30 10.00 16.15 15.15 13.00 13.00 11.00 NEW WIN by four wickets NEW WIN by five wickets NEW WIN by one wicket 11.00 11.00 12.00 12.00 14.00 15.00 13.00 19.30 11.00 15.00 11.00 11.00 14.00 15.00 13.30 12.00 15.00 13.30 12.00 11.00 13.00 13.00 13.00 15.30 14.00 12.30 11.00 17.30 14.00 19.30 14.00 14.00 14.00 14.00 13.45 14.10 14.30 15.00 19.00 19.00 16.00 14.00 12.00 14.00 12.00 16.00 16.00 14.00 12.00 12.00 13.30 10.00 10.00 10.00 20.00 18.00 19.00 19.00

STAY UP TO DATE WITH EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING ON STAN CALVERT CUP DAY AS NEWCASTLE LOOK TO WIN A FIFTH STRAIGHT TROPHY. LIVE BLOGS, UPDATED RESULTS AND EXCLUSIVE MATCH REPORTS WILL BE AVAILABLE AT www.thecourieronline.co.uk/sport/stancalvert OR FOLLOW US ON TWITTER (@COURIER_SPORT)

The Courier

Monday 27 February 2012

27thFeb-4thMarchlistings.25

C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson

Friday Stan Calvert Basketball 4.15-6pm UNN Sports Central

Start your support for Team Newcastle early at the Men’s Basketball games this Thursday.

Stan Calvert Waterpolo 7-10pm UNN Sports Central

Gavin Webster

8pm Mill Volvo Tyne Theatre (formerly Journal Tyne Theatre)

(16+ only) Following a successful run in Edinburgh, which saw Webster unashamedly tear apart youth culture whilst reaping rapturous applause from the bright young things in the crowd, the renowned comic is back on his stomping ground - freshly armed with a whole host of new material and a smattering of classics. www.millvolvotynetheatre.co.uk

Catch the waterpolo teams this Thursday - don’t forget to bring your banner, posters and loudest cheers!

Brighton Beach

The Taming of the Shrew

Two rooms of Indie, Britpop, Motown, 60’s Soul, Garage, R’n’B, Freakbeat, Psych, cult 60’s films and visuals. 11pm-3am. Ticket Price (each): £5.00. www.lunatickets.co.uk

7.30pm Theatre Royal

The Royal Shakespeare Company return to Newcastle with Shakespeare’s romantic comedy, directed by Lucy Bailey, exploring love, sexual politics and the art of illusion as part of their 50th Birthday season. www.theatreroyal.co.uk

Something for the weekend

Looking forward to...

CCTV

10pm Venue (Students’ Union)

Get the party started this Saturday at the Students’ Union’s CCTV night. Don’t forget to visit the ‘booth’ to star on the CCTV Highlights reel!

11pm-3am Northumbria Students’ Union

Laidback Luke 11pm-3am Digital

Dutch DJ Laidback Luke will be remixing all your favourites at Digital this Friday.

AV Festival

1st March - 31st March Metro Radio Arena

AV Festival 12: As Slow As Possible is a Festival in slow motion. For the first time the Festival runs for a whole month from 1 - 31 March 2012. It’s the most adventurous edition to date including over 15 major exhibitions, more than 50 film screenings and music events, weekend walks and an online radio broadcasting for 744 hours. www.avfestival.co.uk

Intrigue & Strife in the 18th Century Guided Tour

Global Issues Book Club Tuesday 6th March, 6pm City Library Cafe

We are a group of people who are interested in educating ourselves and discussing global issues, as well as just sharing our thoughts on some good books. This month we are discussing “The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down” by Anne Fadiman.

Absolutely anyone is welcome to come, our discussions are very informal and relaxed.

To get involved at any time please come along or email: globalissuesbookclub@ gmail.com.

Every day until October 2012 Gibside, Gateshead

Discover the rise and fall of Gibside’s families, including Mary Eleanor Bowes, one of the 18th-century’s richest heiresses, whose torturous marriage was a cause celebre of the Georgian era and subject of bestselling book, Wedlock. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/gibside

Stan Calvert

The Awkward Squad

Athletics (track and field) - Sunday 1-7pm Gateshead Stdaium

This is a modern state-of-the-nation comedy from the female perspective. Is it all about expensive weddings and new shoes?

What’s a woman to do? Accept everything that gets thrown at her, or become a fully paid-up member of the ‘awkward squad”? www.customshouse.co.uk

Basketball - Sunday 1-6pm UNN Sport Central 11am-3pm NU Sports Centre

Saturday 7.30pm The Customs House, South Shields

Grinning Idiot Comedy Saturday 8pm Northern Stage

A bumper night of laughs featuring Brendon Burns, John Moloney and Prince Abdi.

Compered by John Smith. Tickets available from just £10. www.northernstage.co.uk

4th March Various locations

Support Team Newcastle at this year’s Stan Calvert. Here are some of the events:

Badminton - Sunday 10am-2pm Gateshead Stadium 2.30 - 4.30pm UNN Sport Central

Football - Sunday UNN Coach Lane 7pm Gateshead Stadium 11am-3pm

Want your event listed?

Email c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk with all the details and any photos you have by Monday 12pm of the week before the issue you want to feature in.

26.health&beauty

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

health&beauty editor: Rosanna Sopp rosanna.sopp@ncl.ac.uk

Foundations For all your needs

Dupes

Why spend more?

Elissa Hudson finds the cheaper versions of the Holy Grail beauty items that are on everyone’s Christmas list The controversially named Nars blush has become a favourite with beauty editors since its release, so it’s no surprise that Sleek wanted a slice of the success. The two are almost exact dupes, the only difference being that the Sleek blush has slightly more gold shimmer, but that can be forgiven considering it’s less than a quarter of the price!

Pale Skin Dainty Doll Liquid Foundation £22.00

Premium

Nars ‘Orgasm’ (£21) vs Sleek Makeup ‘Rose Gold’ (£4.30)

Benefit’s High Beam is probably the most popular liquid highlighter on the market, but who really wants to shell out £18.50 when MeMeMe offer their own version for just £5.25?! There is virtually no difference between the two once applied, so give MeMeMe’s Beat the Blues a go before rushing to Benefit and spending a small fortune.

Dior Diorskin Forever Flawless Perfection Fusion Wear £30.00

Powder Foundation

Benefit Hello Flawless!

Custom Powder Cover-Up £25.00

Day Time

Heavy Coverage

Mac Studio Fix Fluid £19.50

Collection 2000 Lasting Perfection Concealer £4.19

vs Benefit Highbeam/Moonbeam (£18.50) vs MeMeMe Beat the Blues (£5.25)

Despite every penny of the £13.50 spent on a Viva Glam lipstick going towards the Mac Aids Fund, no matter how generous we’re feeling it’s still a lot of money. If you can’t resist the bubblegum pink goodness of Viva Glam Gaga get yourself to Boots or Superdrug and pick up Collection 2000’s ‘Perfect Pink’, the shade is almost

vs

Soap & Glory Kick Ass Concealer £10.00

Mac Viva Glam Gaga (£13.50) vs Collection 2000 Volume Boost in ‘Perfect Pink’ (£2.99)

Bogus Beauty

Annie Morgan searches for the truth in a sea of bad advice

Using mayonnaise in your hair Stick to olive or coconut oil! Some people claim that mayonnaise is a great hair conditioner but there are plenty of solutions if you suffer from dry hair. Plus the smell of eggy hair is not particularly appealing.

YSL Touche Eclat Radiant Touch Highlighting Pen £25.00

Wearing concealer as lipstick

Powdering your under eyes

Not only are lips supposed to be either pink or slightly red in tone, concealer is supposed to (as its name suggests) cover up something and you do not want to look like you have no lips, or that you are ill. If you really want to make your lips stand out less, it is best to put the tiniest amount of hydrating foundation or a natural toned lipstick, it won’t chap your lips as much and will look more natural.

Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse Foundation £7.69

Skinted

Some people recommend putting powder under your eyes, so that when you apply your eye shadow and it strays, it doesn’t go on your skin, but on the powder which you then remove. Not only does mattifying the area under your eyes make eye bags seem more prominent, but you’ll have to take the white powder off anyway, so you might as well just remove any excess make up without wasting your powder.

Wear powder foundation as well as liquid There is a difference between a translucent powder and a complexion foundation, as a complexion powder offers full coverage it can, and should, be worn alone whereas a translucent powder helps to set your liquid foundation and mattify any shiny areas. If you wear a liquid foundation with a complexion powder,

Minted

Best Beauty Blogs www.agirlandabeautyblog. com www.stylesuzi.com www.camiloveskiwi.blogspot. com

Bargain of the week

Check out the beauty sale on www.asos.com for reduced brands such as NARS, Nails Inc and many more, including over £20 off GHDs!

28.arts

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk

The book that...

I wish I had read when I was fourteen

Lauren Stafford tells us why reminiscing isn’t always a bad thing

If there is one book that I wish I could gift-wrap and send to my awkward, adolescent self it would be The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. However, as it turned out I picked up this gem four years too late. Back in the sweet and carefree days of first year I was looking for something that would lead me astray from a required reading list packed with Victorian novels and essays by Freud and this seemed like the perfect antidote.

This is Chbosky’s first novel. It is written in an epistolary form with letters addressing someone of undisclosed name and gender. Charlie, our protagonist, is a freshman at high school in Pittsburgh.

He is shy, introspective, intelligent and a wallflower. Socially inhibited, he wrestles with making friends, tension at home and experiencing his first crush. But all is not well and after a shocking realisation about his late Aunt Helen, Charlie begins to slip slowly into a depression.

The tone is frank without being patronising as difficult issues such as drug addiction and sexuality are confronted.

He is left standing on the sidelines of life and his detached perspective offers a quirky narrative voice Personally, I love an underdog and found myself rooting for Charlie to find himself in time for his sophomore year.

It’s an easy read but it is also funny, touching and memorable. Charlie, despite his difficulties, is far cooler than I ever was.

He listens to The Smiths and works his way through a comprehensive pile of coming-of-age novels such as This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald and of course, The Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger. Set in the early 1990s, the world of the novel is concerned with nostalgic inventions now null and void. Retro gadgets like the mixtape hark back to a better time, when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were on prime time television and Crash was everyone’s favourite bandicoot.

A film adaptation is due to be released in 2012 directed by Stephen Chobsky himself and starring Logan Lerman and Emma Watson. My advice though - don’t wait to see this story unfold at the cinema.

This is an affecting and poignant book about the inevitable uncertainty and clumsiness of growing up. It’s impossible not to identify with Charlie, so indulge your inner gawky teenager and order a copy form Amazon.

Now it’s your turn. Tell us what you think at thecourieronline.co.uk/arts

Breaking free from the shackles of Shakespeare

It’s about quality not quantity Most Brits hold William Shakespeare to be the central pillar of our cultural history and a large percentage of English speaking people stand in awe of his work, however for me he stands alone as possibly the most overrated writer and poet in the literary canon.

Yes, this might be controversial, particularly as a Literature student, but given the echoes of sighs that fill the lecture theatre when thieving Old Bill’s name is mentioned, I’m not alone.

Having been unable to escape Shakespeare for over ten years my reasons are truly endless. But what really drives my dislike is the fact that Shakespeare’s position as one of the greatest writers of all time is based on the sheer quantity of his work rather than quality.

What’s even worse than this is how ignorant people are towards his plays. No, Romeo and Juliet is not a chick-flick or a heart warming tale of romance. It is tragic; bleakly tragic in fact and ends in suicide. Do not base your romantic dreams around this, not only will you be heart-broken; you’ll be dead.

Don’t get me wrong, his plays and his verse are alright but the continued emphasis on his work denies other writers of equal talent even a glimpse of recognition; truth be told if you want romantic poetry read some Keats, and if you want to see great Renaissance drama watch Marlowe.

Shakespeare in my opinion, as I am sure I have made evident, is overrated and should definitely not be imposed upon schoolchildren the world over from the age of 11. Although some may say I am a bitter literary cynic, I say to them there is a truly endless list of writers who you should read before Will: do not be drawn into the hype.

Grace Harvey

Is the old bard still relevant to us in the 21st century?

Illustration: Alicia Knight

More great plays than you can shake a stick at

Despite what people may say, I am going to begin by disagreeing with Rowan Atkinson, who punched Shakespeare in the face in ‘Blackadder’ on behalf of schoolboys and girls everywhere. The prolific genius of the bard produced an astoundingly broad array of drama able to be tailored to any taste. Shakespeare may be enjoyed as you like it: as text, on stage or screen. Shakespeare’s description of Cleopatra is a fitting testament to his own body of works, ‘Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety’, with a remarkable ingenuity present in all adaptations.

Shakespeare continues to have a lively cultural legacy, as the enduring appeal of Shakespeare‘s Globe in London attests, his work serving as the basis of many a budding thespian’s career. A preoccupation with Shakespeare has gifted us with Kenneth Branagh’s glorious productions of ‘Hamlet’ and ‘Henry V’ on screen.

Shakespeare attracts the best and brightest of every disposition, if classi-

cal adaptations are not to your taste, there are those who strive to be edgier, such as Julie Taymor’s ‘Titus’, or, Baz Luhrmann’s ‘Romeo + Juliet’, which reward investigation.

Some consider Shakespeare to be a fraud, but unlike Polonius’s observation of Hamlet, there is little method in this madness. If correct, however, this does not devalue the worth of the texts which ‘are such stuff as dreams are made on’ regardless of origin.

Providing many a quotable phrase, the prevalence of William Shakespeare is evident in his influence on popular culture, demonstrated in the numerous modern adaptations there have been of his works.

He is cultural inspiration that should be admired and in my opinion can’t really be given enough praise. More simply, quoting Shakespeare makes people look clever, cultural and means that I can compare myself to David Tennant I urge Shakespeare skeptics to head ‘Once more unto the breach’ and brave the bard anew (because let’s face it, he must be so famous for a reason).

To see or not to see?

Craig Hinds

Catherine Langley explains why Shakespeare is living on at the Laing

I

f you weren’t aware that the Theatre Royal was celebrating its 175th birthday, then you must have been either living under a rock or Robbo Library bound for the last few weeks. As well as events at the theatre itself, the Laing Gallery is also getting in on the act with an exhibition exploring the characters of arguably the greatest dramatist of all time, Mr William Shakespeare.

When the two words art and Shakespeare are mentioned in conjunction with one another I immediately think of Millais’ painting of Ophelia floating to her watery death at the Tate Gallery in London, which both fascinated and enchanted me as a child. Hamlet’s tragic heroine is very much present in this exhibition via the engravings of Charles Coulson, (originally designed to surround the text itself) and the hauntingly sombre watercolours of William George Simmonds.

Another highly memorable female protagonist on display is one of the starcrossed lovers, Juliet, who is depicted with all the romantic glory of the play, looking from her elevated balcony at Romeo, who is presumably in the distance out of the painting. Despite the generally wistful, amorous expression of Juliet, the neutral colours in the work and the dark shadows, suggest the drama and tragic fall that will eventually destroy her and her lover.

This show is not merely resigned to

doomed or tragic subjects; there is some light relief in the form of Touchstone and Audrey, figures of fun from Shakespeare’s comedy As You Like It. Furthermore, it is arguable that Shakespeare in Art demonstrates the power to evoke the same emotional intensity as any of the great masters’ plays. Shakespeare’s plays are known for their deep meaning, underlying wickedness with a tinge of sarcasm and sex that is an enviable combination strived for by so many playwrights to this day. If artists can portray this all in a painting, surely it is worth at least a look?

The plethora of art on show and its wide appeal is indicated by the exhibition’s curator Catriona Pearson who says: “I think the exhibition shows that everyone can find something to enjoy”.

This really is a cultural collaboration that brings the arty types to their knees.

Although some would call it a pretentious and simplistic coupling, these are probably the same people who complain about modern art and pantomimes. If your only memories of Shakespeare are attempting to power through Macbeth at school then this is your chance to revolutionise your relationship with a man, who if nothing else, has stood the test of time.

To see, or not to see that is the question?

If you’re an avid literati, playwright in the making or art lover, then the answer is well and truly yes.

The Courier

arts.29

Monday 27 February 2012

Arts Editor: Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor: Lisa Bernhardt

previews

Shakespeare’s Top 5 plays

reviews

Like it or not, there’s no question that Shakespeare is one of the best-known, best-loved writers in the history of the English language. These are my top five picks of his plays; if you’re not already acquainted with them, get yourself down to the Newcastle Theatre Royal as soon as possible! (Or you could always just cheat and watch the film...)

The Taming of the Shrew

4

5

Because, despite the blatant misogyny of the central plotline, the brilliant adaptation 10 Things I Hate About You has ensured a new generation of loyal fans - after all, who can really be blamed for swooning when Heath Ledger serenades them whilst dancing around a football stadium?

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Possibly one best watched whilst high, there’s no denying the enchanting surrealism of this magical tale. The first play I ever starred in, my eight year old self fell in love with the fairy costume lovingly handcrafted by my mother and I haven’t looked back since. If fairies don’t take your fancy however, there are always the darker elements of magic, deception and unrequited love.

3

Much Ado About Nothing

2

An endearing comedy which will win its way into the hearts of even the most adamant Shakespeare haters, Much Ado is Shakespeare’s answer to the modern day chick-flick; you’ll find yourself laughing, crying and gripping the edge of the sofa in equal measures. If you haven’t already seen Kenneth Branagh’s brilliant adaption, do it.

Hamlet

Chris Addison

Attempts On Her Life

The Pirates of Penzance

If the fact that Chris Addison’s 2010 tour was a sell-out isn’t enough to convince you, then watching his appearances on Mock The Week and Have I Got News For You should sway you towards buying tickets for his new tour, Chris Addison, The Time Is Now, Again. In an upbeat, punchy way Addison puts forward his views on fat people, UGG boots and pirates with excessive hand gesturing and a smile on his face, completely voiding the idea that comedians need to be aggressive to be funny.

Already ‘sold out’ at just under half of the shows of this year’s tour, Addison is clearly one to watch, not just for his stand-up but also for his TV appearances on shows such as Skins and The Thick Of It (and who can forget the witty DirectLine adverts). My guess is that as this man gets more and more popular, ticket prices will get more and more expensive so, as they say, there’s no time like the present to witness Addison bringing the stage to life.

His enthusiasm and over-excitedness is infectious and if the entire panel of Mock The Week find him hilarious then he’s good enough for me!

If you’ve ever thought of present-day theatre as being predictable or playing it safe, NUTS’s production of ‘Attempts On Her Life’ is sure to prove you wrong.

The narrative consists of seventeen scenarios, each with a strange array of nameless characters and different locations. Although this mysterious jumble of narrative threads seems unconnected, there is one thing that links all of them: Annie.

Without ever meeting Annie, we are drawn deeper and deeper into her world by a variety of conflicting scenarios.

Whether these are intended to describe her or destroy her is unknown. Is Annie the victim of violence or its terrifying perpetrator?

Martin Crimp’s darkly comic play explores the late 20th century through pornography, ethnic violence and terrorism, challenging perceptions of what truly constitutes theatre.

As Crimp’s boldest and most innovative play, ‘Attempts On Her Life’ will doubtlessly leave audiences intrigued, confused and wanting more.

Tickets available outside the Union, £5

Celebrating 60 years of production, Newcastle University’s Gilbert and Sullivan Society presented one of the duo’s most well-renowned comic operas, The Pirates of Penzance. Co-directed by Lucy Ashton and Anna Scott, who also plays the role of Edith, this play is their first big production. Creative, amusing, and engaging, the performance is characterized by witty dialogue, thoughtful choreography, and harmonious music.

The orchestra and performers do a fine job at evoking both humour and compassion. The male and female singers’ voices emanate sonorous baritones and vibrant sopranos respectively, seen most notably in a beautifully-delivered romantic duet by the protagonists. The play opens with a lively piece by the orchestra, which consistently returns to complement the storyline and intensify dramatic pinnacles.

A visual and melodic treat for Gilbert and Sullivan fans and an enjoyable experience for those who are now discovering the duo’s imaginative production, this play will leave everyone wanting more.

Cassie Lawrence

Rosie Tallant

Northern Stage March 14

King’s Speech

Motor Town

While some may view this as a cynical cash in on the hit film, David Seidler the writer, originally intended ‘The King’s Speech’ to take the form of a play. The plot easily translates to a theatrical environment being dialogue heavy with a small group of distinctive characters.

The plot – if you’re one of the few people who haven’t seen the film – is essentially the feel good Rocky formula: man trains for activity, man succeeds at activity, everybody celebrates. Except of course there is a difference - the man is the heir to the throne, and what he has to train for is speaking, due to his agonising debilitating stutter.

The play’s main challenge is living up to the incandescent performances of Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush; this will hopefully be achieved by an experienced cast drawn from theatre and television.

With the quality of the production team and the inherent feel good nature of the plot which last year captured the hearts of a global audience, the stage version of The King’s Speech is sure to be as big a hit off-screen as it was on.

Simon Stephens’ Motor Town sees the protagonist Danny return from the Iraq War to find himself alienated and disillusioned with life – a foreigner in his homeland.

He returns to a girlfriend moved on to another thus spurring him on to purchase a gun and “turn his inarticulate rage into inarticulate revenge”.

Though Stephens avoids the typical post-war trauma, seen with Danny’s quasi-tragic claim that “I don’t blame the war. The war was alright. I miss it…” sees Stephens’ play undertake and address a political and mental instability within society and character, offering a distinct and fresh approach to post-war life.

Motor Town has received rave reviews, claiming it a play “which resounds for hours afterwards” addressing contentious, perhaps pro-war concepts, instigating walkouts and vast debate. Promising to be a thrilling affair complete with “scenes of a disturbing nature, violence and strong language”, Motor Town is a must-see, for a bit of thought-provoking pre-Easter entertainment.

Tickets available outside the Union, £6

Daniel Glen Hinds

Joshua Morgan

Theatre Royal March 12-15

If you can face the average stage time of over four hours and Hamlet’s increasingly lengthening and self-pitying soliloquies, this dark psychological thriller is well worth the time, enthrallingly exploring themes of insanity, death and revenge. Or if not, there’s always David Tennant to keep you going.

Romeo and Juliet

1

And finally, my personal favourite: Romeo and Juliet’s classic, timeless love story has captured the hearts of thousands throughout the ages and permeated across all cultures. Even down as far as Geordie Shore - Vicky charmingly likens the infamous relationship of Gaz and Charlotte to Romeo and Juliet – ‘if Romeo was a twat’.

Catherine Davison

Northern Stage February 28- March 1

Culture Lab March 1-3

Royal Grammar School, Jesmond February 18

Nelly Stavropoulou Linda Guma

Nativities Live Theatre February 15

Set predominantly in a call centre, Nativities is a darkly comic new play written

by Zoe Cooper. We watch three lonely women struggle with their mixed feelings over pregnancy whilst office politics contributes to their confusion. Cooper draws an interesting contrast between the humorously portrayed trivial and monotonous office life and the characters’ personal issues that torment them.

The quick and snappy dialogue performed excellently by all members of the cast added tension to the scenes whilst brilliantly highlighting the ironic lack of communication in a company named ‘Scion Communications’.

The second act certainly outshone the first, however the real highlight of the evening was Paul Woodson’s performance as David, the call centre manager. With rave reviews from the Fringe Festival, Woodson plays a flirty yet pre-occupied boss that the audience can easily relate to.

An exceptional cast make this sinister comedy a resounding success, definitely worth going to see.

Beatrice Walker Catherine Langley

30.filmfeatures

5

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk

Top Movie Animals

5

Jaws This great white shark is without a doubt the bad boy of all cinematic beasts: sneaky, relentless, brutal and lusting for some human flesh. When John Williams’ unforgettable score starts to play, you know shit’s about to go down (or rather the unfortunate people swimming on Amity Island‘s coast).

4 Stuart Little Sharing your student accommodation with mice is the ultimate nightmare/ wake-up call to clean your crib, unless they wear red Converse shoes, drive toy cars and are able to talk (without being a weird scientific experiment that has escaped from a lab). Who wouldn‘t want to hang out with such an adorable little guy like Stuart?

3

King Kong

The original film from 1933 was one of the first ‘monster movies’ and created the gorilla-like creature that was to become a cinema icon. It‘s kind of an adult Beauty and the Beast story, just without singing candleholders and a happy end, but lots of planes that Kong crashes with one hand whilst sitting on a skyscraper.

2

Babe A cute little pig trying to become a sheepdog- if that doesn‘t make you rapturously say Awwwww!“, what else? Babe was and is a childhood hero that we will always hold dear, no matter how old we are.

Apart from that, he‘s a secret advocate of animal rights, having raised the plan to abstain from meat in many of us.

1 Roger Rabbit How can you possibly not love Roger Rabbit? He‘s hysterically funny, chaotic, a fashion icon (only he can pull off a blue polka dotted bowtie with a red overall) and lives in TOONtown. Oh, and he‘s married to Jessica Rabbit, the hottest (animated) character EVER. Eat your heart out, Angelina Jolie.

Lisa Bernhardt

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

Primal Screen

From Disney to Dunston Checks In, animals have inhabited a strange place in cinema history. Becca Price explores this strange relationship.

If you’ve not seen The Artist, you probably still know there’s a dog in it. If anything, Uggie seems to be the breakout star. He’s won awards for animal acting (the Palm Dog at Cannes and clearing the Golden Collars…what, you’ve not been following these prestigious events?). There’s been a campaign to get him considered for an Oscar. A while ago he was a guest on a surreal episode of the Graham Norton show where the other guests watched him skateboard across the studio floor, presumably wondering when their careers became equal with that of a Jack Russell Terrier.

Animals have a strange place in film.

CGI may be easier to work with, but it’s no replacement for the real thing, and there’s an entire industry involved in training, supplying and caring for these non-human co-stars. Though animals in entertainment don’t always have happy lives (remember Free Willy leaping to the open sea? Yeah, didn’t work out that well for him in reality), most have good trainers and animal rights groups watching over them. Some animals can become very successful; Toto got paid nearly three times as much as the average Munchkin.

If you’re going to be any famous dog, it beats being a handbag Chihuahua, the WAG of the canine celebrity world.

But just like human Hollywood, there are thousands of part-time hopefuls for every superstar. Take a look at the websites of an animal hiring agency and marvel at the sheer variety of in-demand creatures. Not only are there people training lions and dolphins, but also toads and spiders. They can even supply ants, bees, or any other being that you couldn’t find

Man’s Best Friend: publicity photo of Jack Medave and Jed Allen with the titular dog from TV programme Lassie.

CBS Television

so easily round the back of the studio.

It’s tempting to hire one. You could bring a Super Hans inspired ‘rental snake’ to a party, liven up lectures with a trained parrot, or club together with a few friends and ride into town on a herd of zebras for a night out. There’s probably some small print against this sort of misuse, but deep Some animals can down, I think everyone would pay good become very sucmoney to keep a penguin as a pet, if only cessful; Toto got for a week or so.

It’s also possible to go into animal show- paid nearly three business yourself by finding an agent for times as much your own pet. There’s a cat in Sandyford as the average that keeps making a mess by my front door, and I’m quite tempted to pack it off Munchkin. in a box and see if I can make a few quid from it. A few adverts here and there,

Preview: I am Nasrine

Sell-out film from Uni lecturer returns to Tyneside following success of last year’s release

I am Nasrine, the highly anticipated feature film from writer, director and Newcastle University lecturer Tina Gharavi, will be returning briefly to the Tyneside Cinema. Identifying herself as “filmmaker, academic, and insurgent” on her website, Gharavi applies all these specialties in I Am Nasrine, starring Mischa Sadeghi and Shiraz Haq, which narrates the exile of an Iranian girl and her brother to the UK. The film tracks the pair’s coming-of-age in sync with their tumultuous, emotional and trying journey to the North East, touching on topics such as discrimination, sexuality, and religious identity. In I Am Nasrine, the issues are inseparable.

It is Gharavi’s first feature film after making several documentaries, and a look at the trailer reveals that she has maintained her signature cinematography, a style that is realistic and gripping while still breathtakingly artistic. The film is a collaborative effort with Bridge + Tunnel Voices, the charity set up by Gharavi to provide media production training to local refugees in an effort to encourage them to tell their stories. Gharavi herself is something of a nomad, as she currently resides in the Newcastle area but has trained and worked in the United States, France, Hong Kong, and around the UK. After selling out a special screening at the Tyneside Cinema in October, two more have been scheduled for 27 Febru-

Tyneside Cinema Monday 27th / March 1st

ary and 1 March, both at 6pm. Gharavi and members of her production team will be in attendance for both events to discuss the making of the film.

Maggie McBride

maybe a breakout role as a quick scare in a horror movie (‘Jones…Jonesy?’), before working its way up to stardom in a full-length family film. It’ll be like being a really lazy stage parent.

Despite this grooming animals occupies an important role both within the industry (MGM Lion!) as silent companions for comedic cinematic double acts and wooden actors. Jim Carrey. Cough. Whether robotic , computer generated or live action, animals will continue to exist in films , anthropomorphised and ready for consumption. And despite the ridiculous awards Uggie stormed , it is nice to see some reocgnition for cinemas underrated, unrecogonised stars.

A storm’s coming to Newcastle! However don’t be alarmed for it is a storm of creativity, guaranteed to stimulate and expand your perceptions. In case you haven’t heard, the world famous AV festival is descending upon Newcastle next month, drawing in eclectic bunch of artists filmmakers and musicians from around the world. With film as a huge part of the programme this year, filmgoers should salivate at the amount of special events, screenings and film discussions taking place at Tyneside and Star and Shadow Cinemas with genre film and art, experimental and documentary film styles.

The ‘opening weekend’ 3 – 4th of March screens a interesting Tyneside double bill of Sharon Lockhart’s Double Tide, a visual account of a clam digger in the mud flats of coastal Maine along with James Benning’s Nightfall, a study of changing light in California’s Sierra Nevada Mountains, with both directors in attendance. The films meditations of time and nature are guaranteed to present spectral beautiful imagery in the way only cinema can. The following week also shows a myriad of stellar films including director Tarkovsky’s enigmatic Stalker, narrative ‘everyman’ picture Aurora and the famous Russian Ark, a meditation on 300 years of Russian history, shot in one continuous feature length take. Along with this an entire weekend is dedicated to ‘slow cinema’ with critical panels, directors and programmes of interesting films collaborated.

Find programme information and festival passes at: www.av.festival.co.uk Chris Binding

The Courier

reviewsfilm.31

Monday 27 February 2012

Film Editor: Chris Binding Online Film Editor: Hayley Hamilton

Bombay Beach

keen American footballer, who fled south central Los Angeles to escape the same fate as his cousin, killed in gangland violence. Then there’s Red, an elderly man with questionable opinions, who sells cigarettes to locals just to get by. What made this film so questionable to begin with – the addition of dance scenes in a documentary – seems natural in the world of Bombay Beach, making the characters even more human and engrossing.

It’s a film of beauty that can take an average idea and turn it into a memorable cinematic experience. Despite being initially relieved at the short running time, after seeing the film my only complaint is that it wasn’t quite long enough.

H

eading to the screening – my whole body regretting the night before – weariness overcame me. I wasn’t in any mood to watch a film, and after stumbling my way through the oblivious onslaught of Saturday shoppers – certainly not a pretentious, character-oriented documentary.

On paper, Bombay Beach looks like the kind of trash you’d expect a character from Nathan Barley to come up with; the story of three individuals – of varying deplorability – in the run down community of Salton Sea in South California, interspersed with music video-esque dance scenes. With that in mind, and the hangoverinduced agony of moving, I sat down, grateful that the running time was only 80 minutes.

Then, the unlikely happened. Rather than spending the entire film coming up with phrases to express my loathing of this hipsterkids’ wet dream, I became engrossed. First time director Alma Har’el has created a film which is neither documentary, nor drama. It would be

unfair to brand it a docu-drama amongst those which dramatically re-create past events. What it is, however unclassifiable, is an experience.

Har’el manages to draw on her location brilliantly, representing Salton Sea as an almost post-apocalyptic wasteland, which makes it all the more affecting when you remember that this is a society in modern day America. What the director does best, however, is focus on the people living in the community. One of the features which makes the film untrustworthy as a docu-

Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

mentary is also that which heightens the whole experience; the select choice of people outside Salton Sea makes important to the audience, those who are important to the main characters. At the same time it heightens the sense of cultural isolation at the heart of the film.

The three figures who act as protagonists for Bombay Beach are not typically the type of people you might grow fond of. There’s Benny Parrish, the hyperactive (yet Ritalin-addled) child of an explosives-loving couple; CeeJay, a

VERDICT: Rather than being a pretentious and rather average character study, Bombay Beach is an original and rather moving experience. Director Har’el shows a deft touch at handling troubled people, to the extent that Salton Sea’s shores of rot and dead fish seem bearable when shared with her characters.

Patrick Mchugh

Miss Bala

Tatsumi

Picture: Canana Films

T

his fiery sequel rides in five years after 2007s Ghost Rider, a long time on the Hollywood timescale. This time, directing duo Brian Taylor and Mark Neveldine, of Crank fame, take the helm after the disappointment of Ghost Rider; to try and give the perhaps unwanted sequel a new darker edge.

The plot, a predictable one at that, follows the volcanic Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage) and his inner demon, the Ghost Rider, who are called back into action after hiding out in Eastern Europe. Moreau (Idris Elba) is the alcoholic, French priest who gives Blaze a mission to rescue a local Roma-Gypsy boy and his mother from the Devil’s (Ciaran Hinds) nefarious plans.

It is your typical action film with added humour, plenty of pyrotechnics and an abundance of clichés. From Blaze/Ghost Rider’s one-liners to images of Ghost Rider’s urine as a flamethrower, this film does have its funny moments as well as some explosive action scenes that are interlaced with original art segments.

The CGI is impressive with Blaze’s transformations into the Ghost Rider. His flaming skull looks as realistic as it can be, considering a man’s head is on fire. It seems most of the budget was piled into bringing the hellish Ghost Rider to life. However, the 3D aspect was unnecessary and it didn’t fit too well as it was done in post-production; seemingly tacked on to make a bit more green. Cage has a decent performance despite admitting in a promotional interview that he based it upon a tribal shaman, but along with his recent releases it could be suggested that he is still taking any offers.

VERDICT: An average action flick with more thought going into the CGI than the story. My strongest compliment is that it’s better than the first film, but that isn’t saying much.

Jacob Crompton Schreiber

A

M

F

s horrible as the 9/11 attacks were, they’ve been used far too often in books and films alike to make a story even more tragic. Referring to 9/11 as the ultimate American trauma to give your story the guaranteed dramatic edge is a narrative trap many a (screen-) writer has fallen into, with Jonathan Safran Foer proving no exception.

The author of Eating Animals attempted to write an emotionally compelling novel, but by using 9/11 as the starting point of the plot, he makes it somehow unnecessarily sentimental.

Actually, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is a very touching and heart-warming story.

One year after his father (Tom Hanks) had been killed in the attacks on the World Trade Center, nine-year-old Oskar Schell (Thomas Horn) still struggles with his loss. When he finds a key in his father‘s closet, he embarks upon a quest through New York to find the lock. Whilst desperately searching, Oskar meets a bunch of very different and sometimes weird people, befriending the mysterious renter (Max von Sydow) who lives in his grandmother’s apartment.

Although the story might have been less obviously heartbreaking if Oskar’s had died under other circumstances (and not in one of the most significant tragedies of American history), it offers an interesting perspective on the ways people deal with loss- in this case from an oddly mature child perspective. The plot is sort of confusing in places, but then again the film tries to convey this very message- that life doesn‘t always have to make sense.

iss Bala is probably the least glamorous film you will find involving a beauty pageant.

However, Gerardo Naranjo’s (director and co-writer) captures important and contemporary socio-economic problems within Mexico surrounding the drug trade.

Model-turned-actress Stephanie Sigman excellently plays protagonist Laura Guerrero, clinging on to her dream of being a beauty queen whilst using her new-found fame to help a renowned group of violent gangsters in Tijuana. Laura’s friend Suzu goes missing the day before the Miss Baja California beauty contest auditions. Is this the end for Laura’s chances of escaping poverty?

The film offers glimpses of Hollywood style, though in parts is slow moving, with unnecessary long shots. At times Laura also comes across as weak, making obvious mistakes.

However, the film is successful in showing a corrupt police force, gangster culture and the desperation for fame, money and power. Director Naranjo does an amiable job of showing complex relationships.

However, the somewhat dark film portrays a brutally real set of events, with a feel of universal corruption arising from Mexico’s 25 billion dollars drug trafficking trade. Laura becomes a ‘pawn’ in the game and the film leaves you asking if there will ever be an end to the Mexican drug war. Despite the strong heroine and gripping storyline the films true strength remains with its sharp political bite.

rom early traditions in Japanese art to the anime powerhouse of Studio Ghibli, striking visual style is engrained at the heart of Japanese popular culture.

However, as opposed to the finesse a of anime, the ‘manga’ style of Japanese illustration is a rough, pulp format sold in print and mass produced. Within any art-form individuals influence and change the medium and in Tatsumi director Eric Choo pays tribute to a legendary illustrator of the sae name who changed the ‘childish’ aimed narratives of manga, though the adult orientated ‘gekiga’ movement, focusing on dark themes and realistic psychological characters. Creating a stir at Cannes , the films account of Tatsumi’s life and work is a fresh contrast to the hyper stylised anime.

Following the standard biopic formula with animatied visuals, the film flits seemingly between key events in Tatsumi’s life while intercutting with some of his famous stories.

However where this structure would normally fall into clichéd sentimentality, the jarring contrast between optimistic young Tatsumi and his incredibly shocking, nihilistic modern stories is a memorable experience. Despite the basic animation the pastiche of stories focus on topics from Hiroshima bombings, explicit sex and incest, to complex psychological profiles which could prove offensive to those unfamiliar to ‘adult’ manga. Nevertheless the film’s message humanises Tatsumi, equally potraying him as a master storyteller as well as a indiviual with a depressingly realist view of human existence.

VERDICT: An inspiring tale of fate, hope and the magic of everyday life. And no matter if you find it sweet or soppy - you can’t deny that Thomas Horn’s performance is particularly impressive.

VERDICT: Miss Bala is all in all a great film and an interesting watch as the film is based on true events. Even though the film draws to a less than glamorous ending Naranjo is successful in showing the horrors of such an underworld.

VERDICT: Despite the familiar‘rags to riches’ story, Tatsumi’s intresting visual style and thoughtful structure create a memorable and affective cinematic experience. A fittingly bittersweet tribute to a skillful , troubled and underated artist .

Lisa Bernhardt

Chloe Morgan

Chris Binding

32.musicreviews

The Courier

Monday 27 February 2012

Music Editors: Ben Travis and Chris Scott Online Music Editor: Graham Matthews

Our Version of Events

Sound of the Overground Sam Summers once again delves into this week’s chart, occasionally finding some of pop’s best kept secrets, but more often than not, finding absolute drivel.

So DJ Fresh has a new song out. It’s called ‘Hot Right Now’, and it’s really rather good. Ok, so it doesn’t quite reach the heady heights of ‘Gold Dust’ and ‘Louder’, but it’s elevated to their level by the sterling performance of Rita Ora, exerting a terrifying level of energy that dwarfs any of Fresh’s previous word wenches. She sounds like she’s about to scream her own spine out through her mouth and dance with it. This is a good thing.

Emeli Sandé returns with ‘Next To Me’ having survived her term of servitude under human armpit-fart Professor Green. While not as balls-to-the-wall spectacular as her debut ‘Heaven’, this new single is definitely worth a listen. It starts off on the ballad side of the fence, threatening to become boring until the chorus introduces a wonderfully absurd sample of a man shouting ‘hey hey hey’ repeatedly, essentially becoming part of the drum beat. All in all a nice little treat, but it won’t be supplanting ‘Heaven’ as The Only Emeli Sandé Song I Allow On My iPod anytime soon.

In the hands of anybody other than Nicki Minaj, ‘Starships’ might pass for a Good Pop Song. There’s a not-as-intrusive-as-it-shouldbe eurodance beat on the chorus, treating us to angry football chanting and an interpolation of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’. Coming from Minaj, however, the whole thing seems rather shallow and vapid. Minaj uneasily treads the line between rap and pop, and her latest single is a calculated step in the wrong direction. ‘Stupid Hoe’ and ‘Roman In Moscow’, the cat-wearingly insane, awesomely unlistenable buzz tracks from her upcoming album, show that Nicki is clearly more at home when rapping about throwing semen at monkeys or pissing on Lil’ Kim, pulling hilarious faces like a Picasso portrait of Busta Rhymes. Can we please just let her get on with it?

Rounding out this week’s new entries is a slew of tracks from one Whitney Houston, who has been setting the blogosphere on fire of late.

The talented vocalist gives Beyoncé a run for her money on rousing ballad ‘One Moment In Time’ and delivers an unexpected banger in retro-disco showstopper ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’. She seems to be trying to come across all Adele on Dolly Parton cover ‘I Will Always Love You’, which unfortunately winds up seeming a bit melodramatic and overwrought. Still, she looks like she’s really caught the public’s imagination this week and she’s got the talent to back it up. Good luck to her.

Recommended download: DJ Fresh - ‘Hot Right Now’

Emeli Sandé

N

ot many popstars out there can claim to have a neuroscience degree, a Brit’s Critics Choice Award and one of their songs featured on a Susan Boyle album. Alas, in steps Emeli Sandé with her debut LP Our Version of Events, an album which looks set to establish quite the relationship with the charts this year, and rightly so.

Sandé demonstrates with current single ‘Next To Me’ that she is clearly capable of putting out catchy, radio-friendly tunes. Whether it was her study of the brain or just some inherent song-writing ability, attempting not to ‘woohoo’ alongside her in the chorus really is a bit of a challenge. Previous singles ‘Heaven’ and ‘Daddy’ quickly determine themselves as the real highlights of the album - their combination of instrumentals riddled with strings and triphop beats are topped only by the soaring vocals offered by Sandé herself.

The singles however, are quite misleading of the albums overall sound. For Our Version of Events is largely a ballad meets mid-tempo affair, with many songs that would not sound out of place on a Leona Lewis album. This is not entirely a bad thing, for the combination of heart-felt lyrics with a voice so rich in emotion is often a winner. ‘Mountains’, for example,

a track in tribute to her parents, describes tackling life’s burdens together in a relationship, with Sandé reassuring herself that: “We’ll climb mountains, climb mountains together”.

Other notable tracks include ‘Read All About

An album which looks set to establish quite the relationship with the charts this year, and rightly so It (Pt III)’, which sets one of 2011’s best choruses free from the accursed raps of Professor Green, refreshing the song with a treatment Alicia Keys similarly provided on ‘Empire State of Mind’ in 2009. Keys provides a clear influence on Sandé’s work, evident on the light piano and R&B vibes of ‘Where I Sleep.’ It is a shame therefore, that the track produced alongside Keys (Hope) is one of the album’s weaker numbers.

Overall, Sandé offers a solid debut which simultaneously excites and plays it safe, but is destined to do well. Sorry neuroscience, but your loss has resulted in music’s gain.

Recommended download: ‘Heaven’

Phantom Limb

Freedom of Speech

Scars & Stories

W

H

A

Recommended download: ‘The Pines’

Recommended download: ‘Studio Backpack Rap’

Recommended download: ‘Turn Me On’

The Pines

Speech Debelle

ith these cold winter mornings we all need some motivation to get out of bed and what better way than with some old-school R’n’B and dulcet female tones?

Phantom Limb mix traditional country blues with a soulful twist thanks to the vocals of Yolanda Quartey. While being a tad countryish at times, on the whole this is something pleasant to listen to. It definitely sounds from the Deep South, yet it hails from Bristol which is a bit confusing - you would expect this sort of record from America. It’s nicely mixed though, and Quartey has a powerful voice.

The lyrics are somewhat mundane though, with the usual themes of trying to get over ex-lovers, feeling alone, feeling more lonesome, and being overwhelmed. No particularly new insights there then. The general consensus in my flat was that the vocals and album on the whole would start to grate on you after several listens and its not really background music.

But walking into Uni listening on a cold winter morning, it is somewhat empowering. At times, it becomes very overproduced with some dreadful backing music that almost sounds like she’s singing over a recording. Then there is the use of gospel choirs to bring in a certain element of cheese. On the whole this is a pleasant record but nothing that’ll have you coming back for more.

Olivia Mason

For tonnes of web-exclusive columns and live reviews, check out The Courier music section online.

Jordan Lebbern

The Fray

er 2009 Mercury Prize victory for Speech Therapy seemed somewhat weird. Speech Debelle, A.K.A Corynne Elliot, didn’t really profit from her victory and just seemed to drop off the map.

And this was all despite the fact Speech Therapy was proof that British rap could be touching and emotionally engaging, rather than just about running from the cops - yes, I’m looking at you, Lethal Bizzle.

It was what had been separating British and American rap for years, and when it was finally here it barely even made a whimper, never mind a bang.

Despite Speech Therapy being a promising debut, Speech Debelle seems to lose her way with Freedom of Speech, caught in a web of wanting to proselytise a better world and get personal.

Half of the album is about herself and failed relationships, and the other focuses on current events, particularly the August 2011 riots and the media portrayal of them.

Yet there is no coherent link between the two; it all seems rather jumbled. The more personal tracks sound flat and uninteresting, especially since this is territory held by every single rapper ever. If you want to get personal, you really need to pull something out of the bag.

The tracks about current events, such as ‘Collapse’ and ‘Eagle Eye’ are where she truly shines with some deft lyrics with emotional punch.

Chris Taylor

band that looked set to be a one-hit wonder with 2005’s How To Save A Life, The Fray have finally got around to releasing a new album - Scars & Stories.

On the first listen I was left wondering if they should have bothered, but after playing the album on repeat it seems they actually have something here.

Sure, some of the tracks are a bit same-y and could do with more ‘oomph’, but even with that in mind other tracks such as ‘Turn Me On’ and ‘The Fighter’ combine heartfelt lyrics with powerful guitars to create songs that definitely warrant being blasted out at full volume.

If you’re looking for a rockier number then ‘Here We Are’ may be more up your street, focusing more on the guitars and creating a new sound for the group, without changing the overall tone of the album.

However, with comparisons being made to Coldplay and Keane, The Fray have a lot to live up to, and with this being their third album (if you don’t count their ‘free to download’ EP Christmas) they don’t seem to have made as strong a progression as they maybe should have by now.

This being said, Scars & Stories is overall a good album and well worth a listen, especially for established fans. With some of the singles here destined to head for the Top 10, Radio 1 junkies will find themselves listening either way.

Cassie Lawrence

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Gig announcements, updates on the Newcastle music scene, track recommendations and exclusive articles.

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featuresmusic.33

Monday 27 February 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk

Live: Kaiser Chiefs

O2 Academy Newcastle, February 14th “Watching the people get lairy, is not very pretty I tell thee”. Sorry Kaiser boys, you got that one wrong. Watching a bunch of tiny Tims get tossed around like pre-pubescent rag dolls within a washing machine of odious, moshing fan boys was something that I felt a sense of schadenfreude for. But I guess we have you and your infectious head banging tunes to blame for that.

The Kaiser Chiefs’ gig was something of a trip home for me as a Yorkshire lad. All through the building was a rowdy, electric atmosphere that could only be matched by an Elland Road footy game.

Kicking off the night were support act Fixers.

With a sound not too dissimilar to Scouting for Girls, but provided a head bobbing upbeat sense of electro pop to get the crowd in the spirit.

Shortly followed were Sunderland’s very own Frankie & the Heartstrings, whose lead singer Frankie Francis (clever huh?) got the girls swooning and the crowd roaring in anticipation for the headliners.

When the Leeds boys finally took to the stage they began with crowd-pleaser ‘Everyday I Love you less and less’, followed by the fist pumping ‘Everything is Average Nowadays’ and ‘Never Miss A Beat’. The mid-way performance of chart topper ‘Ruby’ gave a similar atmosphere to getting on the last Metro on a Friday night from Jesmond; slightly tipsy and ready for a sing-along.

The energy didn’t really kick off until about the three quarter mark though, when the booze had kicked in and the crowd finally got to mosh out to classic festival track ‘I Predict a Riot’.

Following that, the rest of the evening was all about boisterousness and screaming “We are the angry mob!” into random strangers’ ears.

The Kaiser Chiefs have an amazing ability to infuse banter with crowd chants to create a terrific ambience. What was even more impressive was Ricky Wilson’s adoption of the tambourine.

Never has someone made a Primary School band instrument look insanely cool to the point where he’s playing kick ups with the percussive

Whack lyricals

Nobody really listens to pop songs for nuggets of intellectual wisdom, but every so often stars come out with lyrics so jaw-droppingly dumb that they have deserve particular attention. The music team pick the best of the worst. been to “I been Southampton but I’ve never ’ Out s ‘Pas , pah Scunthorpe” - Tinie Tem

instrument.

Obviously the enjoyment factor is reciprocal when going to a performance. The Kaiser Chiefs did not disappoint by playing a variety of classic tracks and future releases. They kept up their cheeky-chappy antics all night long and one could only hear the positive approval of the locals as they left to enjoy the rest of Valentine’s Day. Luke Hearfield

Musical maths

Sometimes, pop music can be boiled down to hard, scientific facts and simple mathematical equations.

Following a series of top-secret experiments, (performed, of course, under strictly controlled conditions), we present the choral calculations behind the charts.

“A blessing in di eyes, but since it’sguise is right before our that it is there” - s in disguise, we don’t know Lil Wayne, ‘Abort ion’ w “Love is evil, spell it backwards, I’ll sho d’ oun ceb you” - Eminem, ‘Spa

A waxwork

A trout

Lana Del Rey

“Do you ever feel Perry, ‘Firework’ like a plastic bag?” - Katy ght the “Your body looks so sick, I think I cauutiful’ Bea d Dea flu” - Britney Spears, ‘Drop “Now everybod ous chicken I doy wants my recipes, tell a jealjust making monn’t know what the beef is, I’m - Will.I.Am, ‘T.H ey for my grandkids’ nieces” .E (The Hardest Ever)’ - second “First date - first base, second dateme funny, at base, third date - you’re looking so dle’s mid the you got a hard shell but ‘With yummy” - Cher Lloyd ft. Mike Posner, Ur Love’

“What do you w Kaiser Chiefs, ‘Nant for tea? I want crisps” ever Miss A Bea t’

The world

A better place

2

Classic album.

Fresh perspective.

Until last week, I had never listened to London Calling

by The Clash.

Truth be told, I can’t believe I’d never heard this album. Ranked at number 14 on the Rolling Stone magazines ‘100 Best Albums of the Past Twenty Years’, it doesn’t seem to be missed of any equivalent lists. The band are so iconic I think we all just presume we have heard it and with so much Clash merchandise about we’d probably all the recognize the album artwork at least. I even think I have an age eight T.K.Maxx bargain bin T-Shirt lurking about somewhere with The Clash scrawled across it.

Punk rock I must admit is a genre I know very little about, my musical education has something to be desired, so listening to London Calling I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but upon listening ‘punk rock’ makes perfect sense.

It doesn’t sound like Beatles pop but more experimental and is clearly trying to make a point.

Perfectly echoing the time it was made, The Clash proved that music and politics can mix as they attempted to transmit radical and leftish political ideas with the NME calling them “The Thinking Man’s Yobs”. Their preferred title, however, was “The Only Band That Matters”.

If none of this rings a bell you will surely know ‘London Calling’, the most well-known single that shares its name with the album. Rolling Stone ranked it number 48 in their 2008 list of the 100 greatest guitar songs of all time - not bad for a punk band. In their quest to create social disorder the album addresses social displacement, unemployment, racial conflict, drug use, and the responsibilities of adulthood: some arguably pretty serious themes for a band in the charts. The album was even criticized for not containing enough credible love songs.

Definitely not like The Beatles then.

From the perspective of someone who had never before heard this album, the cited ska, funk, pop, soul, jazz, rockabilly and reggae influences are not that easy to find. There’s lots of impassioned shouting throughout and they definitely sound angry. ‘Wrong ‘Em Boyo’ is the most poppy, whilst ‘Four Horsemen’ contains some pretty dubious vocals, the lyrics “lazying around all day” probably offering some explanation for this.

On the whole London Calling is an uplifting listen and after researching I can appreciate it as a political entity too. I might just have to revive that size 8 t-shirt which I can now wear with a bit more pride.

Olivia Mason

Lady Gaga

“Lucky that my breasts are small andwith humble, so you don’t confuse themWhermountains” - Shakira, ‘Whenever, ever’

“I came from no thing, some kid Camden, now I’m in Richard Branson flying with the birds, ” - Dappy, ‘No R egrets’

Cher Lloyd’s ‘Swagger Jagger’

On the record

Haircut

5

Nicki Minaj

One Direction

34.musicfeatures

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk

Playing the Field

One of the North East’s most beloved bands made a triumphant recently with new album Plumb gaining plaudits from audiences and critics alike. Playing two consecutive sell-out shows at The Cluny, Matty Aston spoke to brothers Peter and David Brewis about avoiding the music industry, fellow local indie bands and keeping it local.

S

peaking ahead of the second of two gigs at the Cluny last weekend and with the release of their highly anticipated fourth album Plumb imminent, brothers Peter and David Brewis of local oufit Field Music disregarded the view that bands in general are better off basing themselves in London.

“It’s helpful to be in the North East and away from the music industry because you don’t need to be there anymore,” David claims, “you don’t need to be there if you want to maintain some independence.”

They are clearly a band happy with their surroundings and comfortable with the way in which they operate with David adding, “we’ve managed to get by years and years doing all of the production and music ourselves. We don’t have to pay for the musicians, we don’t have to pay for studio time, we don’t have to pay for people to mix, and we now don’t even have to pay people to master it.”

“I make records, I’m not in the music industry,” remarks older brother Peter, “I make music first of all for me, second of all for him (David) and third of all for my mates. I want to make music that they like and that’s what’s important.”

When pressed on being signed to Memphis Industries, David recalls “we got friendly with a guy called Pete Gofton (Lauren Laverne’s brother) who was drummer in Kenickie and at the time he was signed to Memphis Industries, we did a gig with him and got to know the guys from the label then.”

Towards the end of 2003, the band set about making their debut album. “We’ve met quite a lot of people in the music industry since about 1998, and maybe, three or four of them we’ve thought are nice guys,” claims David, “so we finished the album and I sent it to those three or four people and Memphis Industries were the only ones that got back!”

Their first influences were from bands such as Bros and The Bangles on Top of the Pops, “the fact that Bros had drums and bass, and you could see them on stage playing, that’s probably what started it.” They do however agree on the influence of one particularly legendary English rock band.

“We found a compilation that my parents had, an Atlantic Records compilation, and that had Led Zeppelin on it,” David discloses.

As far as other bands are concerned, they have recently had a sneak preview of the new

Maxïmo Park album.

“It’s brilliant,” comments Peter, “Paul’s (Smith) voice is brilliant. Also The Futureheads. They’re doing an a capella album. I just listen to my mate’s bands.”

The Sunderland-based band decided to go on a break four years ago, citing the need to explore different avenues.

“It looked like we were going to become a bog standard indie band,” remarks Peter. “I like playing by my own rules, that’s why I didn’t want to move to London, I want to have my own studio. I want to earn a living doing exactly what I want, which is ludicrous really. And it got to the end of 2007 and we realised we couldn’t do it.”

David added: “I was feeling like – if you judge our music in the context of ‘normal indie band’

then we come across like a crap indie band. But that’s not what we do.”

It’s clear that David’s real passion lies in the recording process.

“Personally, my best feeling is the moment I write enough of a song to be able to imagine what it’s going to sound like,” he expresses. “I love being in the studio, but that’s because I like the challenge of figuring this stupid mess in my brain out.”

With their new album out this week, fans have been speculative about what to expect.

“Fifteen songs in thirty-five minutes,” laughs Peter.

“I expect people to look at the track-length and go ‘really?’” replies David. “I expect people to listen to it and go ‘really?’”

In all honesty, David confesses “I don’t think

it’s actually going to sell as many records as Measure did, I actually think, in terms of press, the story for Measure is better. We’d been away for a couple of years, did solo projects, came back and made a goddamn double album.

That’s a good story.”

With a new record all finished and out of the way, the brothers could be setting their sights elsewhere for a little while.

“I’d really like to spend some time writing some songs. That’s the most important thing, ahead of anything,” David remarks.

Bigger things are on the horizon for the band and with festival appearances at this summer’s Primavera and Bestival already lined up, along with others yet to be confirmed, the future is certainly looking bright for the Sunderland four-piece.

SceNE:

out for in Newcastle, and we also got more song plays than Jonny Greenwood in Faded Glamour.

Who’s your favourite band on the Newcastle scene?

Air to Achilles

The North Eastern music scene is currently one of the most exciting and explosive in the UK - get to know your new favourite local acts.

Who are Air to Achilles?

Four guys with two guitars, a bass, a synth, and drums at their disposal, all the while trying to make leftfield guitar music with a twist.

How do you all know each other?

From school and university; myself and Jon are actually Newcastle University graduates.

What have you done with the band so far?

BBC Introducing airplay has always been really special to us. Last year we were named by Drowned in Sound as one of ten bands to look

Summarise the band in five words Leftfield pop, loud guitar soundscapes.

Tissue Culture; they’re young but they’re so talented it’s scary. I’m constantly blown away by them when I see them live, plus they’re lovely lads too.

Who are your musical heroes?

What’s next for the band?

The National are my favourite band, but my greatest heroes are front-men like Frank Black, Mark E Smith, Talking Heads’ David Byrne and Paul Heaton.

What was the first album you ever bought?

Houdini by Melvins (the American sludge-metal band); it was ok, a bit hit and miss though.

Saying that, their next album was called Prick and one track was called ‘Rickets’; that was definitely the album to avoid.

What’s your favourite venue in Newcastle?

For atmosphere, I’d say the Cumberland Arms.

We invite other local bands to play with us at our Crystal Crypt club night that we host there occasionally.

We’ve got three new singles and an EP to bring out, so it’s exciting times.

Where and when can we see you next in Newcastle?

Our EP launch at Cluny2 on March 2nd. It’ll be a special night for us and we’ve got some fantastic local bands to play alongside us. It’s only £3 in too!

Chris Haywood

The Courier

technology.35

Monday 27 February 2012

Seven Wonders (that could change the face) of the World

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.technology@ncl.ac.uk technology editor: Shaun Butcher

Earlier this month Google hosted a conference where some of the smartest people in the world attempted to solve some global issues.

Technology Editor Shaun Butcher explores seven of the radical ideas.

Imaging the mind’s eye

We all think in mental images, but there is a problem when trying to communicate these to others. Well, neuroscience is working to find a way around this. There is a good chance, according to Mary Lou Epson (founder of Pixel Qi Corporation), that we might be able to show others exactly what’s on our minds just by thinking.

Experiments have shown that the same parts of the brain light up when you think of an image and when you see a similar image in the real world. Be careful what you think about in the future!

Drug Delivery

Finding a suitable drug to fit your individual needs is difficult – some drugs can potentially be more dangerous to the human body that the disease itself.

Wouldn’t it all be a lot easier if there was a device that’s implanted in the brain and sends wireless information to let you know when and what drugs to deliver?

Well, Mir Imran, CEO of InCube Labs, is working on this. This technology could help treat difficult conditions such as Alzheimers.

Building microsystems on the eye

Quite a lot of people wear glasses or corrective contact lenses and these can be quite a pain. Babik Parviz, associate Professor of Innovation at the University of Washington, believes the surface of the eye is an untapped market and corrective vision doesn’t really do much apart from, well, correct your vision. Babik says we should utilise this one interface on the body that doesn’t react to foreign bodies. It is suggested that this could make diagnosing medical issues easier because it will enable us to find out what’s going on inside the body, without actually going inside.

Physical transport

Good road infrastructure is a prerequisite of transporting goods efficiently.

Although the developing world has weak road infrastructure, it shouldn’t be a problem, says Andreas Raptopoulos, founder and CEO of Matternet.

We should forget about roads and stop building them in favour of a system of unmanned aerial vehicles that would transport goods from one place to another instead. This would cut delivery time and could mean the difference between life and death, especially when medicine is involved.

Low Power Wireless

Imagine if a mobile device could transmit the same data twice as far with the same amount of power, or the same distance with half the power. It would allow transmission from the depth of the ocean, to out of space without much effort.

This is a reality thanks to Anthony Sutera and spray on Nano technology.

Antennas could be sprayed onto the walls or the floor turning everything into an antenna! Yes, no more crap phone signal.

Innovation

Many of today’s coolest tech was once unimaginable, only to be found in the pages of science fiction novels.

Author Neal Stephenson says it’s time to get back to basics.

Electronic devices are all around us, but everything we use is cased in some boxy system that’s filled with tiny circuit boards. Wouldn’t it be great if we weren’t bound by this? Well, the tech world finally has the tools to create ‘stretchable electronics’. This technology opens up the electronic market immensely and the potential of this development is very exciting.

Stretchable TV’s?

I

Adam Bristow-Smith

Geminoid/Actroid:

The Geminoid is the robotic doppelganger of its creator, Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro, and is a perfect example of the Uncanny Valley principle. As robots gain more human features they become easier to empathise with, a good example of this being Pixar’s Wall-E, but once a certain point is reached, where they are almost but not quite human, feelings turn to fear and revulsion.

There are many theories for why this happens but in this case I’m going to go with the unnatural jerky movements, ability to replace its creator and the cold, dead eyes that seem to scream out for vengeance against the human oppressors.

Robotic (vagina) birth simulator:

This strange invention is designed to help train doctors on childbirth. It consists only of a disembodied lower body, from about belly button to mid thigh, and bleats incessantly like some kind of bizarre robotic sheep. Pretty horrible stuff.

Giant robot spider:

Spider-like robots are not new but the fact that this one, which graced the streets of Liverpool in 2008, was fifteen metres tall set it apart from others. Small spiders are bad enough, but a giant mechanical one rampaging through the streets of Liverpool? It sounds like something a cartoon super-villain would invent.

Giant Torayan:

Lewis Lister explains why his choice of music player is Spotify, not iTunes Spotify’s business model is structured, the more subscribers it has, the higher the payout for the artists.

Both services are available on your smartphone. However Spotify is available across all the mobile operating systems whereas iTunes is only available to Apple users. One thing about Spotify’s app, however, is that it is only available to those who subscribe to their more expensive package, Spotify Unlimited. This doesn’t really seem fair to Premium subscribers.

In terms of everyday usage, the two are pretty even. They are both user friendly and visually inoffensive. Where Spotify has the edge though, is that it is far more useful in a social context. At a party where iTunes is the music service of choice, guests are limited to selecting tracks from the library of the account holder. With Spotify, guests can choose from over 15 million tracks that can be queued or played instantly. Nostalgic songs usually prop up during conversation and your guests can relax in the knowledge that you - or rather, Spotify -

Creepy Robots

Stretchable electronics

iChoose Spotify

n the musical climate of today the home computer is replacing the CD, particularly among students.

While there are many options out there, the two main contenders are irrefutable. iTunes has been around for just over eleven years and has an estimated usership of over 200 million, comparative newcomer Spotify is hot on its heels.

The way in which the user pays for the music is the key difference between the two. iTunes users pay for each song they download, whereas Spotify users either pay a monthly subscription fee, or by ‘ear time’ (time spent listening to intensely irritating advertisements). Spotify offer two options: Premium and Unlimited.

By listening to music on iTunes, the listener provides a significantly fairer deal for the artists themselves. It is no secret that the music industry is a declining one, so it is of the utmost importance that fans maximise already dwindling profits for the people who make the music they love.

On the other hand, because of the way

Top 5

will have the requested track. Spotify also offers to link your account to Facebook, allowing you to easily share music with friends. This is a huge bonus if you are the sort of person who feels it necessary to brandish what you’re listening to all over your friends’ Facebook news feed...

Although iTunes introduced Ping, a social network with the specific aim of allowing its users to follow their favourite artists, it didn’t really take off. It censors even the most inoffensive offensive language, and doesn’t have Facebook integration. It’s clearly about commerce and not social interaction whereas Spotify’s social network is in a different league – it’s much more about sharing music in a social way. The two services worth seamlessly together.

Taking all this into account, it seems impossible not to declare Spotify the winner. This remarkably selfless company is yet to make a profit, so how about we ditch our iTunes accounts and help them to help the artists we love.

The Giant Torayan is a seven metre tall robot baby. It breathes fire and, judging from pictures, is powered by the collection of creepy doll heads inside its chest. According to the website it is the “ultimate child’s weapon” because I guess giving children weapons is something we’ve always wanted to do. It sings, dances and only obeys orders given to it by children. If that isn’t a recipe for disaster I don’t know what is.

EATR:

While the military drones in use today are scary enough the aptly named EATR robot takes this to the next level. It is designed to be autonomous, capable of learning, self-replication and, in long term deployment, fuelling itself with biological matter. While initially there was a rash of reports saying that it was going to use dead bodies, the American military was quick to announce that it was vegetarian and neither had the capacity nor inclination to consume human flesh ... yet!

36.science

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk

One born every minute

5 things you need to know

Unexpected matters of science fact Don’t judge a gas by it’s properties

James Simpson on the relationship between diabetes and birth defects

5

You might think that Sulfur Hexafluoride is a pretty boring compound being a colorless, odorless, non-toxic and nonflammable gas but it has a couple of good party tricks: because it is over 5 times denser than air, light objects can float on it and it also causes your voice to temporarily become much deeper when inhaled.

4

Back in a jiffy!

Jiffy is a word that we tend to throw about casually as a way of saying, “I won’t be long” but it may suprise you to find out that it has acquired a number of more precise applications in describing extremely short periods of time in electronics; computing and physics.

3

Not your average plant

Picture this

The Rainbow tree may be the most psychedelic tree around, found growing in the Philippines, the young green bark ages and goes through a series of colour changes, including blue, purple and orange. The bark is shed irregularly meaning that the colours are seen simultaneously, giving the tree a look that wouldn’t be out of place in a Dr. Seuss book.

Who are you calling dim?

2

It’s a widely used cliché that when you come up with a fantastic idea a cartoon light bulb appears above your head, but research has found that the human brain generates a similar amount of energy to that required to power a 10 watt light bulb – even when sleeping!

1

Diabetes mellitus, is a common disease affecting close to 346 million people worldwide. The lack of insulin means blood glucose levels remain high after eating and if left untreated can cause hyperglycaemia which can potentially be fatal.

There are three categories. Type I, is lack of insulin production and generally inherited, and detected at birth. At present it is incurable and treated with insulin injections controlling blood glucose levels.

Type II, is caused by physical inactivity and obesity and is when the body inefficiently uses insulin. There is also gestational diabetes which is similar to Type II but is detected during pregnancy onset.

Statistics show that women with either type of diabetes are four times more likely to have a baby with a birth defect.

New research from Newcastle’s own Dr Ruth Bell has drawn on relationships between blood glucose levels at conception, and birth defects. The pioneering research team has already published a paper in the journal, Diabetologica.

The research paper used a populationbased cohort as the core data and performed statistical analysis on the data collected. The conclusions drawn from the research show that blood glucose levels at time of conception is the most important risk factor in birth defects. It also shows that women who control their blood glucose levels within the normal ranges significantly reduce their chance of a birth defect.

A birth defect is defined as anything which physically, mentally, or biochemically affects the baby and in rare cir-

Probably a good idea to carry an umbrella

While the phrase “it’s raining cats and dogs” doesn’t hold true, fish; frogs and birds have all been known to fall from the sky all around the world, from Serbia to Wales and occurs yearly in Honduras during the ‘Rain of Fishes’. So far there hasn’t been a definitive explanation for this strange phenomenon.

Alexandra Reynolds

Vostoking �iller

cumstances can result in miscarriage or stillbirth.

“The real message from this study is that the blood glucose level of the mother is important to the risk,” says Dr Iain Frame, Director of research at Diabetes UK, who goes on to state “This study offers clear evidence that although women with diabetes might still have a higher risk of a birth defect, they can still do something positive to reduce that risk by carefully monitoring their blood glucose level and trying to reduce it if it is high.”

He goes on to mention that contracep-

Photo zalo Flickr

This study offers clear evidence that although women with diabetes might still have a higher risk of a birth defect

tion can be an important tool in helping to reduce the risk of unplanned pregnancies bringing on any unwanted complications like the birth defects.

He advises any women with diabetes who are planning on becoming pregnant seek the advice of their diabetes healthcare team who can make them aware of planning and reducing the risk of birth defects.

More information on diabetes and support available can be found at www.diabetes.org.uk and the paper can be found at www.diabetologia-journal.org

Russian premier Vladimir Putin exaggerates the progress of the Lake Vostok exploration team James Ricketts

The Courier

science.37

Monday 27 February 2012

Science Editor: Mark Atwill Science Online Editor: Adam Bristow-Smith

That makes no sense though...

Science Editor Mark Atwill discusses 10 things in science that make Richard Dawkins cry

10

7

4

Photo jclepoulet

3 Photo Sweetie187

6

9

2

Photo hodgers

Photo sangak

5

8 Photo astrorom

10: Nocebo way:

The Nocebo effect can kill We’ve covered this ground before, but still fascinatingly, simply being told one is going to experience pain, or even die from a terminal disease can evoke the symptoms even in the perfectly healthy. An extreme example of mind over matter that should not be possible.

9: Hogan knows best

The Projection of Reality The GEO600 gravitational wave detector in Hannover has not picked up any gravitational waves. Instead it may have inadvertently unravelled the ultimate nature of reality. In 2008, it was suggested by physicist Craig Hogan that everything in the universe experienced as physical reality is a projection from the edge of the universe- the holographic principle.

The theory goes that information at the edge of the universe is composed of bits, which produce a pixelated signal that only the most sensitive instruments known to man can detect-enter the GE0600. Funnily enough, the team had been experiencing ‘noise’ in their detectors, which bore an uncanny resemblance to Hogan’s predicated signal. As yet this remains a mystery that could have ramifications for every organism that has ever existed.

8: Antimatter of common sense

The Bigger Bang Theory The Big Bang should have created matter and anti-matter in equal amounts at inception according to the laws of physics. However, if this had happened, the whole thing would have almost instantly disappeared in an even bigger bang of self-annihilation. In acceleration experiments, it has been found that for every 1 billion antiprotons, there are one billion and one protons. What is the cause of this imbalance? No one really knows, but without it, nothing would ever have existed.

7: Lovecraft Ian

The Leviathan awakens Lovecraftian fantasy or is Cthulu lurking in the deep? In 1997, an array of seismological surveying hydrophones detected a signal several times over the summer months that seemed to be impossible. To be detected from it’s distant source, the sound would have to be immensely loud. Even more confounding, the sound had the pattern of a biological signal. For any creature to create such a sound, it would have to many times the size of the supposed biggest animal to have ever existed, the blue

1 Photo NASA

whale. Rather unnerving.

6: Morgellon’s

Fantasy or just horrible Fatigued? Skin lesions and a pain like insects crawling under your skin? If you answered yes to both, you may have a disease that’s not supposed to exist. Morgellon’s disease is a mystery, reported in the 17th century in which filaments or fibres would grow just beneath the skin; it disappeared until 2002, when a concerned mother insisted her child had the disease. Often described as a psychological rather than physical disease, the child seemed to exhibit the telltale filaments. A figment of imagination or just exceedingly rare?

5: Hybrid animals

Not hybrid cars According to our understanding of genomics, the fusion of two distinct organisms should result in an evolutionary dead end. However, when you look at the genome of a sea squirt, something strange is apparent. Half of its genes are from chordates, early ancestors of man, and the other half from an ancestor of a primitive sea urchin.

While around 10% of plants seem to originate from this kind of hybridisation, the importance of this kind of fusion in higher organisms has never been considered.

Evolution may not be as linear as is often assumed.

4: Fly by

The Dennis the Menace slingshot conundrum Utilising the gravity of celestial bodies to gain speed, or ‘sling-shot’ manoeuvres are commonplace in satellite technology. Recently however, something odd has been observed. The speeds of spacecraft, such as NASA’s Galileo and NEAR Shoemaker have far exceeded those expected. Nothing in physics can explain this extra acceleration. One of the more exotic explanations of this involves dark matter bound to the Earth, which accounts for additional mass, and consequently extra gravity. This is supposing that the speed of light is constant however, which is currently under scrutiny.

3: Eocene hothouse

Climatology’s steamy secret About 34 million years ago, the Eocene era ended on Earth. Geological evidence from the early and middle part of this era suggest that the average temperature could have been as high as 40°C while the poles were at temperatures of 15 or 20°C. None of our climate models accounts for how this “Eocene hothouse” might have

arisen. However you look at this environmental enigma, it’s bad news. Adjusting climate change models to account for the Eocene produces scary results. Essentially, the Earth seems to have no feedback mechanism to stabilise a runaway warming effect as was experienced in this era. The modern Earth is showing early signs of a similar pattern; our worst-case scenario is not nearly worst case enough.

2: Dark Flow

Somewhere out on that horizon What lies beyond the visible horizon of our universe is a total mystery, simply because it is so far away, light from there hasn’t reached us yet since the beginning of time. Despite this, the assumption is wherever you go in the universe; it’s still filled up with ‘stuff ’. A recent NASA discovery seems to contradict this idea. A group of galaxy clusters seem to be moving at an extraordinary velocity toward a small patch of sky; this pull is named ‘the dark flow’. There is apparently no reason why this should be happening, unless they are being pulled to a huge source of gravity somewhere over the horizon, the source of which would have to be bigger than anything we could possible imagine. If such mega-structures exist, they would compound the Copernican principle that our region of the universe is nothing special; why aren’t there any over here? The pull could also be from another universe entirely, adding credence to the theory that the universe is composed of multiple mini-universes, bubbling off from another. A marble in a sack of marbles.

Weird Science

Meat, myself and I

A strange, but potentially revolutionary laboratory project is coming closer to bearing fruit – or should I say meat.

That’s right, laboratory-produced meat is no longer contained within the realms of science fiction, according to the scientists who have been working on the project at Maastricht University. Funded by a mysterious, wealthy benefactor, the aim is simple; to produce meat in the lab using animal stem cells. So far, the lab has only produced a few slivers of pink protein, but - according to Dr. Mark Post, the lead scientist on the project – a whole burger could be on the menu by the end of the year.

How is this possible? It starts with adult stem cells, which are taken from the animal in question and encouraged to become muscle cells. The cells are then cultured on scaffolds – to give them the right shape - with all the nutrition they require. Over time, the cells coalesce to form muscle fibres, and these fibres are ‘tenderised’ either by mechanical stretching or by using small electric shocks. The fibres can be shaped into the foodstuff required – be it burger, sausage or steak.

As the nutritional input is controlled at every step, it is possible to control every aspect of the final product. Meat lacking saturated fat - or any fat at all - could be produced.

So lab-meat is healthy, but I get the feeling you might need a bit more convincing before you feel the need to tuck into a petri-dish patty. Well, the environmental benefits should be obvious. The ecological footprint of conventional meat production is huge: meat farming accounts for a fifth of all greenhouse gas emissions, and the demand for land for livestock leads to deforestation, which exacerbates global warming. Add to that the huge energy and water demand of meat farming and you can see where a move towards more novel methods of meat production may be vital in the future.

Of course, none of this will matter if test-tube burgers taste awful, and it may be that most people will never be comfortable with the idea of lab-reared space meat. But considering the source of a lot of our meat, people really have no justification for being grossed out by this (conduct a Google image search for ‘mechanically recovered chicken’ to see what I mean). Also, many vegetarian meat alternatives are produced in large scale industrial laboratories; Quorn, for example, is derived from soil mould protein fermented in large vats. Personally, I think the best potential use of stem cell meat technology is the cultivation of endangered animal meat. Since there is no need for animals to be killed, any animal is fair game. Panda burger anyone?

1: Axis of Evil

A mysterious alignment In 2005, scientists at Imperial College London discovered a mysterious pattern of radiation left over from the big bang. They named it, controversially, the axis of evil. Instead of finding hot and cold spots of radiation dotted randomly around the sky, they found the spots seem to align themselves to one direction through space. This should not be possible, modern cosmology is based on the principle that the universe is essentially the same in every direction we look. If the alignment is correct, this simply can’t be true. Explanations have been offered owing the alignment to errors in our method of measurement, or distortion of observed light by gravity from nearby galaxies. However, in this observation, we are at the very limit of our understanding, and perhaps on the brink of a discovery that could change our entire understanding of the physical universe.

Photo: Gerard Stolk Flickr

38

Puzzles

Monday 27 February 2012

Crossword

Medium

Across

Hard

Wordsearch

thecourieronline.co.uk/puzzles c2.puzzles@ncl.ac.uk Puzzles Editor: Laura Armitage

You can find the answer s to this week’s puzzles a thecou rieronli t ne. co.uk/p uzzles

Sudoku

The Courier

1. Marine mammal (5) 4. Type of crossword (7) 8. Deviation from the rule (7) 9. Fabric (5) 10. Rubbing or clash (8) 11. Woody plant (4) 13. Egyptian statue (6) 14. Creatures (6) 17. Wander (4) 19. Expert on precious stones (8) 22. Decree (5) 23. Inactivity (7) 24. Victory (7) 25. Larceny (5)

Down 1. Dock (5) 2. Get rid of (7) 3. Fastidious (8) 4. Former name of Sri Lanka (6) 5. Shout (4) 6. Male singing voice (5) 7. Admit to (7) 12. Feeling remorse (8) 13. Glut (7) 15. Take aback (7) 16. Social outcast (6) 18. Excuse (5) 20. Helps to raise dough (5) 21. Molecule (4)

Cartoons ARTHUR BAMBI BARNEY RUBBLE BETTY BOOP BUGS BUNNY CHARLIE BROWN DAFFY DUCK DONALD DUCK DUMBO EEYORE ELMER FUDD FELIX THE CAT FRED FLINTSTONE GARFIELD GOOFY MICKEY MOUSE MIGHTY MOUSE MR MAGOO PLUTO POPEYE PORKY PIG ROAD RUNNER SCOOBY-DOO SNOOPY SYLVESTER THE SIMPSONS TIGGER TOM AND JERRY, TOP CAT TWEETY WINNIE THE POOH.

the lete hand p m Co d and fswor Courier o o s o r t c The nce in to r the cha Bar ns fo fice 5 Me r! £ a win ounche v

Alpha-Griddle

Print the puzzle grid and use your compass directions to find the correct locations for the missing letters of the alphabet. When you have completed the grid, see if you can discover the hidden city, country, river or mountain.

Note: North or south means any location along the same column.

East or west means any location along the same row.

Directions: A is south of E: D is south of V B is north of T and west of E C is west of Y and south of G E is west of S and south of J F is west of O: G is east of P H is east of J and north of O

I is east of U: W is east of B L is south of B: M is north of Y N is north of U: O is east of A P is north of T: Q is west of V R is west of C: Z is north of F S is east of V and north of I

Word Link Find the missing word that connects these three words together.

Blankets

Paint

Rot

Shoulder

Sore

Feet

Garden Riddle

Picket

Ring

Language

Drink

Head

Sport The Courier

39

Monday 27 February 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sport Editors: Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Barron Online Sport Editors: Grace Harvey and Charlie Scott courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

After doing sweet FA for years football starts to tackle last taboo

The tragic case of Justin Fashanu should have been the catalyst for Football Association action against homophobia, yet it has taken 13 years for a campaign to eventually emerge to eradicate a problem that is all too apparent Photography: Getty Images

Online Editor Charlie Scott looks at the first attempts to kick out homophobia within the beautiful game While much has been made recently, including in the pages of this very paper, of the need for racism to be stamped out of both sport and society following the recent highly-publicised instances involving John Terry, Luis Suarez and Newcastle University student Josh Cryer, there is another hugely prevalent problem in sport from the grassroots up that is barely recognised.

The problem is homophobia. And it is a problem that is particularly noticeable in football.

Until football is cleansed of homophobia it is impossible to quantify the number of gay players in the game who feel they must keep their sexuality a secret due to the fear of the backlash from their colleagues and fans.

Fortunately, some people are striving to make a difference. The work done by those involved with the fantastic Justin Campaign is an example of where football as a collective sport should look for inspiration and guidance in how to dispel the anti-gay prejudice that continues to course through the game in both England and abroad.

Justin Fashanu was the first, and to this day remains the only, footballer in Britain to have been openly gay. In October 1990 the tabloid newspaper

The Sun published the exclusive interview Justin gave them discussing his homosexuality. Eight years later, after being publically disowned by his brother John, mocked by teammates and experiencing constant crowd abuse for the remainder of his career, Justin took his own life.

The Justin Campaign aims ‘to actively challenge by any civil means any form of prejudice and discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation’.

Jason Hall, the founding director of the campaign, believes Justin and his story is crucial in the battle against homophobia in football.

“Justin Fashanu forced the world of football to acknowledge that you can love men, whilst at the same time be a world-class footballer. His bravery has created inroads for our community in the football world and has inspired a generation of gay and bisexual men, who now believe that we to, can be part of the beautiful game.”

Yet since Fashanu’s tragic death in 1998, there have been no more players in England that have been openly gay.

Last week the Prime Minister David Cameron hosted a summit at Downing Street with delegates from the FA, past and present players and members of campaign groups that discussed how to tackle racism and homopho-

bia in football. And today the FA will launch a six-year inclusion and anti-homophobia plan that intends to combat the prejudice that is rife throughout the game in this country.

13 years after Justin Fashanu provided what should have been a startling wake-up call to the footballing authorities, it appears they are finally siting up and doing something to try and eradicate one of the sport’s biggest problems.

In the past month alone, the West Ham midfielder Ravel Morrison has been fined £7,000 by the FA for sending a homophobic tweet, while former Everton and Manchester City defender Michael Ball has also been charged and fined for a similar offence. Elsewhere in Europe, one of the most prominent figures in the game, the Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho, has come under criticism after footage of him using the Spanish gay slur ‘maricones’ when inspecting CSKA Moscow’s pitch before his side’s Champions League clash last week.

Such behaviour is unacceptable and hopefully Mourinho will be punished, just as Morrison and Ball have recently been. It is sad that the former Chelsea manager, who receives arguably the most airtime of any managers in world football, is guilty of using such

a derogatory term.

In a video released by the FA in tandem with their new campaign Ady Williams, a former Welsh international hits the nail on the head when he describes how “high profile players have more impact on youngsters than politicians” while John Scales, a former England player, acknowledges in the same clip that player’s roles are crucial in the fight against homophobia and that they should accept responsibility; “players have the platform, to change society, for the better, for the good”.

For all the summits and FA campaigns, what the game really needs is for some of the biggest names in world football to come out and speak against homophobia. Jose Mourinho, for example, is exactly the kind of figure that could perform a massive part in tackling homophobia in the sport by criticising it rather than uttering homophobic slurs.

The PFA (Players Footballers Association) chairman Clarke Carlisle has spoken of his belief that if a player were to come out as openly gay, his teammates would be ‘fantastically supportive’ of the individual. The recent cases involving Morrison and Ball appear to suggest that Carlisle may be wrong.

The FA’s new campaign that launches today is a start in the battle against homophobia in football, but it is a start that is painfully overdue. Their endorsement of the Justin Campaign’s international Football v Homophobia initiative is another crucial step.

The FvH site throws up some powerful statistics that are worth spending some time to think about.

“Almost two out every three football fans believe football would be a better sport if anti-gay abuse was eradicated, and one out of two lesbian, gay and bisexual fans feel it effects their participation in the sport. “ The majority of fans want the abuse to stop. The government’s new plans show that they want the abuse to stop too. Now we need the players to show that they want the same.

Recent events have painted football in a negative light. It is about time the sport reminded the world why it is so loved by straight and gay people alike.

Sport, and football in particular, is often championed for its ability to transcend social boundaries. Now it must show that it can extinguish a disease that has gone on for far too long.

40.sportfeature

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

Boxing clever to brawling idiots

Sports Editor Rory Brigstock-Barron and Josh Duffield consider the recent behaviour of David Haye and Derek Chisora

By Rory Brigstock-Barron Sports Editor That the brawl between David Haye and Derek Chisora was ugly and defunct of class is undeniable, but calls for the fighters to receive life bans are rash to say the least.

Clashes at boxing press conferences are a common occurance. One wonders what would have happened in 2002, had the entourages of Lennox Lewis and Mike Tyson not broken up a brawl between the two at a far more high profile press conference in New York. The calls of Tyson to a journalist after the brawl of “I’ll fuck you till’ you love me faggot”, were arguably just as damaging to the sport as Chisora announcing his intention to shoot Haye, particularly coming from a convicted rapist.

Iron Mike, despite his antics over the year received a life ban, it stands to reason that this incident could easily be put to bed by dealing out a steep fine to both parties.

By Josh Duffield Whilst boxing is renowned for its controversial figures and frequent spats, the kind of behaviour exhibited in the aftermath of the Klitschko-Chisora fight is unbecoming of any professional sportsman as well as totally unacceptable public behaviour. Chisora’s conduct surrounding the biggest fight of his career was at best despicable and David Haye should have known far better than to get involved with such an inflammatory individual. The real shame is how boxing, particularly British boxing, will suffer; Chisora had actually kept the contest alive

As for those saying David Haye should not have been at the press conference, the Haymaker’s presence is more an indication of the problems with Heavyweight boxing. How the Heavyweight champion of the world ends up facing a boxer in the form of Chisora, who was on a two fight loosing streak and lacks notable victories, is beyond comprehension. David Haye was tryign to talk himself in to a fight, which you have to do get a crack at the top prize.

Whilst the violence that took place cannot be condoned and certainly casts a cloud over British boxing, Haye and Chisora fight for a living. If every boxer was as professional and arguably robotic as the Klitschkos’ the sport would be far less exciting. It is likely that a fight between the two controversial Brits would amass a far greater audience than the next time the title is defended. Chisora’s surprisingly close fight with Vitali also makes it feasible that the ‘Del Boy’ could give former WBA Heavyweight Champion Haye a run for his money. much longer than many predicted but the headlines inevitably reflected the off-canvas action.

In a potentially career-defining match-up, Chisora showed himself up with cheap tricks that overshadowed his admirable display in the ring. Slapping his opponent at the weigh-in was poor but to follow that up with spitting water over the younger Klitschko pre-fight was disgusting. It would be easy to heap the blame in its entirety at the feet of someone who evidently behaved disgracefully in his 15 minutes of fame and who will have lost a lot of popular support in so doing, but in reality David Haye should not have been at that press conference. Haye

Back of the net Deivid’s guide on how not to finish

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qipHxHF4q7Q

Brazilian Deivid continues to lay claim to the title of being one of the more questionable attackers in the game. As one footballer once retorted, “ some misses are good, some misses are bad, but some misses...”

Tweet of the week -@RavelMorrison49

It has come to most people attention over the past few months that West Ham United’s latest acquisition isn’t the sharpest tool in the box by any means, but even this is a little spectacular by

“Who knows west hams official website ?”

Ever heard of Google Ravel?

became a public favourite after excellently outboxing Nikolai Valuev in 2009 and then by dispatching the hapless Audley Harrison in three rounds but has subsequently lost favour after his defeat to Wladimir Klitschko and the moaning that accompanied this loss. After retiring last year, Haye was reportedly interested in a comeback bout against Vitali and came to the press conference to remonstrate with the Ukrainian for his reported lack of interest. Chisora incited Haye with comments about his broken toe before leaving the stage to become embroiled in a shocking scuffle with the former heavyweight champion.

At the time of writing, Haye is still

1.) Which player holds the record for scoring the most goals in his debut Premier League season?

2.) Which two goalkeepers have each kept 10 clean sheets in FIFA World Cup Finals Tournament matches?

3.) Which English player has made the most Premier League appearances without ever winning a full England cap?

4.) Which boxer holds the record for the most professional knockouts?

5.) Which eight countries, either wholly or partly located in Asia, play their football in Europe?

This week in sport University Sport: 28 Feb 1967: The entire Newcastle fencing team reach the championship finals Intra Mural: 27 Feb 2006: Dude Kevets defeated Fiorentina Turner 1-0 in their 7-a-side bottom of the table clash.

World: 1 Mar 1975: A world-record crowd of 104,000 watched the rugby union international between Scotland and Wales at Murrayfield.

but could also be a blessing for Haye who is no longer of interest to either Klitschko brother.

on the run from Munich police, holidaying in Las Vegas, whilst Chisora has been released despite publicly threatening (and four times at that) to shoot the other antagonist. As the current professional, a life ban would doubtless be devastating for Chisora but making him a scapegoat would send a clear message to y o u n g boxers that fighting should take place solely in the ring. Haye, having retired last year, cannot currently be punished but a life ban would negate the possibility of a return to the ring. This would not only diffuse the nonsense situation between Chisora and Haye

Spot the ball

Testing times

1.) Kevin Phillips, 2.) Peter Shilton and Fabien Barthez, 3.) Chris Perry, 4.) Archie Moore, 5.)

Turkey, Kazakhstan, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Armenia, Cyprus, Israel and Russia

Video of the week

There were bloody scenes in the aftermath of Haye and Chisora’s very public row Photography: Getty Images

A

B

D

E

F

G

1

2

3

4

5

6 Send the correct coordinates of the ball to courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk to enter a draw to win a £5 Mens Bar voucher.

The Courier

intramuralsport.41

Monday 27 February 2012

Medics throw the book at Barca

Division One Title race is thrown wide open after clinical Medics slam four past League leaders INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL DIVISION ONE (WEDS) 2

Barca Law Na

Rakshi 44 Hurworth 51

Newcastle Medics 1sts 4 Anderson 18 English 30 Edwards 69, 77

By Nick Gabriel at LONGBENTON 3G

Wadhams

Beahon

Foley

Allinson

Ingram

Bagot

Cryer

McKee

Rawlings Huworth

Hoctor

Davison

Anderson

English

Edwards

Leylabi

Fretwell

Emms

Jones

Durkin Emmerson

Anderson

League leaders Barca Law Na slipped to a 4-2 defeat at the hands of a spirited Medics 1st team in a top of the table clash on the Longbenton 3G on Wednesday. Although goals from Tim Rakshi and Jamie Huworth had previously cancelled out earlier efforts from Matty Anderson and Joel English, an impressive second-half brace from star man Dave Edwards secured all three points for the future doctors late on.

The result sees the in-form Medics keep there title hopes alive, moving just five points behind both Barca and

Henderson Hall and more crucially with two games in a hand.

In a relatively non-eventful opening to a cagey affair, it was the Medics who eventually took the early initiative by way of creating the games’ first real opening. On this occasion, a Josh Davison free kick was flighted into the Barca box, only for towering centrehalf Jonny Emms to nod his effort narrowly over the bar.

Moments later, the Medics got their reward for applying the early pressure. Edwards played a beautiful ball into the path of his breaking midfield partner Nick Jones. Although Paul Wadhams made an impressive save to deny the on rushing midfielder, the Barca goalkeeper could only push the ball into the path of the lurking Anderson, who was on hand to bury the rebound.

The Medics went on to double their advantage soon after, this time through English. The left-winger found himself in acres of space on the corner of the 18-yard box after the ball was squared to him following an incisive counter attack and was left with more than enough time to control the bouncing ball, before drilling his effort into the corner of the net.

However, Barca demonstrated exactly why they are having such a successful campaign, as out of nothing they brought themselves back into the game shortly before the referee called time on an eventful opening half.

A long punt over the top saw the impressive Tim Rakshi latch on to the hopeful ball. The Barca Law Na frontman then proceeded to show great composure in lifting the ball over the onrushing keeper, reducing the deficit on the stroke of half time.

The second half began with the revitalized future attorney’s applying the early pressure, as a moment of individual brilliance from top scorer Huworth enabled Barca to draw themselves level. The goal followed a poor piece of goalkeeping from Medics’ Dale Anderson, spilling the ball at the feet of the pouncing forward just inside the penalty area.

However, the menacing striker still had plenty to do, setting himself, before superbly lifting the ball over the covering defenders who had moved to guard the line.

Nevertheless, the Medics’ were quick to regain the lead soon after, as the uncharacteristically quiet Edwards burst into life and ultimately proved the decisive factor between two wellmatched teams.

First, the energetic playmaker produced a superb individual effort,

hammering the ball into the top corner 25 yards from goal. Soon after, Edwards all but secured the three points for the Medics. On this occasion, the midfielder met a well-drilled cross by English with perfectly executed volley, side-footing the ball into the roof of the net.

The result makes for a fascinating final couple of weeks in the Intra Mural Wednesday league with three sides all in with a chance of lifting the heavily sought after crown.

released on the edge of the box, and after taking the ball to the byline, his delicate cross was met by a powerful Dom Robson header to take his season tally to five. Not letting their foot off the pedal, Dyslexic poured forward again with, Adam Forster providing a constant outlet at right-back.

It was his dynamic runs forward that allowed him to tee up ‘Foreign’ Tony at the near post for a recklessly precise finish into the roof of the net from all of one yard out. For all Untied’s possession there was Aftermath’s persistence to be constantly wary of. Never failing to pounce on the loose balls and harass their opposition for possession, Aftermath got their reward after Loz Jackson’s misplaced pass was picked off by Pete Watts who expertly lifted the ball into Eccles path, the frontman delivering a well executed lob over the oncoming keeper to half the deficit just before the break.

The second half saw the Reds fly out of the traps. Another flowing attack was awash with clever off the ball movement from Wheelhouse and Robson, with the latter instigating the move and finding Schofield who lifted the ball for Wheelhouse to lash home

emphatically from a tight angle. The prodigious talent may not have scored as many as he would have liked this season but each strike has been a delightful fusion of power and finesse.

After a quick reshuffle Untied were out it ‘Foreign’ Tony was left free to roam the edges of the Aftermath box before effortlessly stroking a curled effort into the top left corner.

Dyslexic shuffled their pack and gave run outs to Rose, Hudson and Clements-Hunt in order to rest a few tiring legs. Robson was still causing his marker all sorts of problems by dropping deep and instigating many of Untied’s attacks. ‘Torres’ Windle marched outside his box to arrow the ball over the top of Aftermath’s defence to Robson, who drew the keeper out and unselfishly squared the ball to Clements-Hunt to place the ball into the empty net for the fifth.

There was still time for Aftermath to rally and Eccles once again found himself on target. Dyslexic failed to clear an out-swinging corner and Eccles acted quickest to lash home into the top right corner. The game ran its natural course in the end but Aftermath showed some signs of qual-

ity which have been missing for large parts of the season whilst Dyslexic will be looking to next season and be hoping they can keep their most prized assets from the clutches of more lucrative teams higher up the division.

Aftermath

2

Dyslexic Untied

5

Eccles 44, 81

Robson 23, Da Silva 32, 61 Wheelhouse 52, Clements-Hunt 76

By Simon Schofield at COCHRANE PARK Dyslexic Untied recorded another emphatic win against an improving Aftermath side on Wednesday afternoon. The result was never in doubt as a ‘Foreign’ Tony da Silva brace and goals from Robson, Wheelhouse and Clements-Hunt ensured a comfortable victory against an Aftermath side who had Dave Eccles to thank for keeping the scoreline a shade more respectable than it could have been.

After a tepid opening twenty minutes Dyslexic found the goal to spark them into life and take the game by the scruff of the neck. A flowing counterattacking move saw Simon Schofield

ta s i s s A er g a n Ma

#13 Times they are a-changing

Medics 1sts picked up their third win on the trot after beating table topping Barca Photography: Sam Tyson

Writing’s on the wall for Aftermath INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL DIVISION ONE (WEDS)

The Secret Intra Mural Footballernt

Tuner

Jones

Buckley

Watts

Jordan

Quinn

Shelton Hodgson

O’Toole Eccles

Hawkings

Robson

Wheelhouse

da Silva

Jackson

Schofield Zikmund

Davidson

Windle

Smith Fletcher

Forster

Nobody likes a draw. Particularly when so much is at stake. A family bereavement dragged me away from Newcastle this weekend, and confined me to being sat in front of my TV at home, (on my Mum’s birthday), refreshing page 316 on Ceefax to get the latest Intra Mural scores only to be left cursing as the goals flew in everywhere apart from where my beloved team were playing.

After storming to a 1-0 lead in the first half, I felt confident that, despite my absence, the team would hold out and secure the much-needed three points. Alas, two points were snatched from us, in the most bitter of circumstances; a deserved equaliser midway through the second half.

Rumours began circulating immediately of a conspiracy theory involving the referee, our opposition, and a Far Eastern betting syndicate. Despite the other team’s goalscorer scoring from, according to my usually timid teammate’s colourful recollection, “fucking miles offside”, the referee inexplicably allowed the goal to stand.

After speaking to my source at Betfair it turns out that huge sums of money were bet on the game finishing 1-1. Make of that what you wish…

While my club continues to flirt seductively with relegation, much of the talk in the changing rooms across the league was of Boca Seniors’ inclusion of Gabrielle Gunn in their starting eleven. That’s right, not Gabriel, Gabrielle.

Sam Cooke once swooned that ‘change is gonna come’, and although I can only speculate I think a girl’s appearance in Newcastle University’s Intra Mural Division Two football league is exactly what he had in mind.

The news of Gabrielle’s debut for Boca reminded of a girl I once worked with who used to play for Charlton Athletic’s Ladies team. After predicting that she wouldn’t be all that I had a kickabout with her and it turned out she was faster, stronger and more skilful than me…

It was reassuring to hear that Gabrielle was not given any special treatment by the opposition, with one particular challenge on her sounding like it would be more suited to the Superbowl than a relegation clash at Close House.

We have one game left, and are now relying on other team’s to slip up if we want to survive. Oh, and we also have to win, something that has proved easier to talk about than actually do this season.

42.sportintramural

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

Thistle win not enough to burst Villa’s title INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL DIVISION THREE (WEDS) Roman Villa

2

Politic Thistle

3

Islip 54, 77

Ramsey 24, Thornton 65, Dunn 89

By Owen Evans at LONGBENTON 3G Roman Villa looked to have missed out on the chance to put their Wednesday Division Three title beyond any real doubt last Sunday as they succumbed to their first defeat of the season after a 3-2 loss at the hands of second placed Politic Thistle.

The win had put Politic just six points behind league leaders Villa, with four games of the season left to play, however their joy was short lived as a series of unforeseen circumstances saw Villa have the title wrapped up

by Wednesday afternoon.

The match started evenly, with neither team creating many chances in the final third. It was therefore unsurprising that the first goal of the game came from a set piece. Politic Thistle were awarded a twentieth minute corner, which Josh Slater swung in to meet the head of stocky centre back Nick Ramsey, who directed the ball into the bottom corner to give Thistle the breakthrough.

Villa did not immediately back down and a number of chances came their way in the first half. Unfortunately for Villa though, it appeared that joint top scorer Ollie Griffiths had left his shooting boots at home, as he squandered a number of chances in front of goal.

The second half had more bad news in store for Villa, as Griffiths had to leave the pitch with an ankle injury, forcing a tactical change for Villa, with the formidable Tom Islip moving up front. The change paid off almost immediately, as a corner whipped in

by Niall O’Hanlon was headed into the bottom corner by Islip to level up proceedings.

It was only a matter of minutes, however before Politic Thistle reinstated their lead, with James Dunn latching onto a clearance before smashing a shot into the top corner.

As time went on, the game was becoming more open, with chances for both teams to score. It was Politic who slipped up first, however, as Rob Grady slipped a pass through to Islip, leaving him one on one with the keeper. He was about to unleash a shot but was bumbled over by centre back Ramsey, with the referee pointing to the spot without hesitation. Ramsey was shown a yellow card after excessively remonstrating with the referee over the decision.

Islip stepped up confidently to take the penalty, and smashed the ball into the right hand side of the net, sending the keeper the wrong way. With minutes left on the clock, the penalty seemed to have rescued an important point for Villa.

There was to be a final twist in the tale, however, as Politic pumped the ball up the pitch at the death. The punt was controlled by Ollie Thornton on the left hand side of the park, before cutting inside and dispatching a fantastic drive, which Drew Johnston had no chance in stopping. The goal brought with it frenzied celebration for Politic Thistle, with the final whistle sounding just moments later.

The result seemed to have left the Division Three title race wide open, with Politic Thistle confident of bridging the gap to take the title. However in the aftermath of the result, it was brought to the attention that Thistle had been fielding an ineligible player in their line-up, resulting in the side immediately being docked three points.

This allowed Roman Villa to wrap up the title on Wednesday thanks to a comprehensive win over Brown Magic and Thistle’s loss to Jesmondino.

Martin

Charleston Ramsey

Benson

Golightly

Greenan

Lewis

Thornton

Dunn

Griffiths

Ward

Islip

Elias

Slater

Grady

O’Hanlon Smith

Rose

Norris John-

INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL DIVISION ONE (WEDS) Crayola

2

Henderson Hall

1

Rech 10, 60

McAllister 49

Botterbill

Graham

Crayola ease survival fears

By Ben Storey at CLOSE HOUSE In a tense affair at Cochrane Park it was the underdogs who came out on top in a vital Premier Division clash that will have huge implications for both ends of the league.

Henderson Hall were spotted half an hour before kick-off obediently warming up within the cones laid out by their management; in stark contrast, the ill-disciplined Jack Bexon and his band of Peugeot Merry Men rolled onto the pitch five minutes after the scheduled starting time.

On a blustery day, Crayola treated their dutiful touchline fans to a whirlwind start, Henderson barely managing to weather the storm. The men in

blue and white managed to make this pressure tell after only ten minutes, the ball falling to the ever impressive Daniel Rech just outside the area. After taking the ball down with supreme control, he drilled home into the bottom right hand corner, sending the crowd into rapturous applause.

After falling behind Henderson began to gain a foothold in the game, the centre midfield pairing of Tollasson and Scott keeping hold of the ball for long periods of time without ever threatening to breach what has become a rock solid centre back pairing of Moat and Morgan-Such.

As the match and Womersley limped towards half time, the game looked evenly poised, with the right back’s begging to be taken off due to a blister casting shadows over his suitability as captain in years to come. The enforced change proved to be a shrewd tactical move in the second half, as the versatile McMillan slotted in admirably.

The veteran did however almost cause the game to boil over in the opening phases of the second half, as he steamed into the tricky little Zafar on the right wing. With the speed merchant left simmering on the floor, the old hand was lucky the referee looked

kindly upon his grovelling apologies.

With the wind remaining a huge factor in the game, Crayola found themselves pegged back in their own halves.

When the ball found itself at the feet of Jones on the Henderson right wing, after having unwittingly put through

by Wild of Crayola, the winger delivered a cross of pin point accuracy to find the head of the oncoming McAllister, who powered home to level the scores.

At this point it would have been easy for Crayola heads to drop, but they started to shade the game once again, Priestley and Thompson proving themselves to be the lead in the pencil of the away side. The pivotal point of the game arrived on the stroke of the hour, as the latter posted a delightful ball over the top to Rech, who handled the delivery perfectly, rounding the keeper to slot into an empty net.

Sayer then missed a glaring opportunity to send Crayola beyond the grasps of the boys in Orange, the hall of famer’s claims of once having been a renowned goal scorer falling upon disbelieving ears, as he feebly stabbed towards the grateful Davies in the Henderson goal.

Crayola resisted late pressure to clinch

The Courier

intramuralsport.43

Monday 27 February 2012

charge

League Tables Wednesday 11-a-side Football Division 1 Team

Politic Thistle’s celebrations were cut short after their points deduction and Wednesday loss Photography: Moises Bedrossian

Pld

W

D

L

F

Division 3

Division 2 A

Pts

1

Barca Law Na

10

7

1

2

42

13

22

2

Henderson Hall

11

7

1

3

39

24

22

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

1

Newcastle Medics 2nds

10

8

2

0

31

6

26

1

Roman Villa FC

12

11

0

1

48

7

33

2

Boroussia Forsyth

10

8

0

2

34

15

24

2

Politic Thistle

11

8

0

3

36

19

21*

3

Lokomotiv

10

7

1

2

45

26

22

3

Shakhtar FC

12

6

1

5

21

16

19

4

Ecosoccer

11

6

1

4

40

28

19

4

Jesmondino FC

10

4

0

6

17

23

12

5

The Hurricanes

10

4

1

5

32

28

13

5

NCL Galacticos

9

4

0

5

19

28

12

6

Boca Seniors

12

4

0

8

32

37

12

6

Brown Magic FC

10

3

1

6

25

27

10

Pts

3

Newcastle Medics 1sts

8

5

2

1

24

11

17

4

Dyslexic Untied

9

4

1

4

23

21

13

5

Crayola

10

4

0

6

14

18

12

7

Newhist FC

11

1

2

8

16

50

5

7

Newcastle Dynamos

11

3

0

8

21

43

9

6

Aftermath

10

2

0

8

11

43

6

8

Ar U Shavin A Laugh

12

1

1

10

17

57

4

8

Combined Honours

11

3

0

8

13

37

9

7

Castle Leazes

8

1

1

6

10

32

4

Top Goalscorers 14: Jamie Hurworth (Barca) 10: Daniel Rech (Crayola)

9: Dave Eccles (Aftermath) 9: Dave Edwards (Medics) 9: Liam McAllister (Hendo)

2 Barca Law Na Newcastle Medics 1sts 4

Dyslexic Untied Aftermath

Henderson Hall Crayola

13: Adam Duckworth (H’anes) 13: Jake Wimshurst (Shavin)

5 2

1 2

12: Josh Batham (Ecosoccer) 12: Zack Goddard (Ecosoccer) 10: Archie Norman (Forsyth)

Boca Seniors The Hurricanes

3 2

Lokomotiv Ar U Shavin A Laugh

Boroussia Forsyth Newhist FC

9 1

Newcastle Medics 2nds 0 Ecosoccer 0

3 0

Netball

Rugby Union

4pm-5pm

Division 1 1

Top Goalscorers

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Armstrong

7

6

0

1

290

40

31

2

Titans

7

7

0

0

219

43

30

3

Agrics 1

8

5

1

2

161

104

25

Top Goalscorers

8: Lewis Cockerill (B Magic) 8: Rob Grady (Roman Villa) 8: Ollie Griffiths (Roman Villa)

16: James Dunn (P Thistle) 11: Tom Islip (Roman Villa)

Combined Honours Shakhtar FC

0 4

Newcastle Dynamos NCL Galacticos

1 4

Jesmondino FC Politic Thistle

1 0

Roman Villa Brown Magic FC

7 0

Mixed Hockey Group A

1

Uni Hockey

Intra Mural W D L F A <<<<>>> round-up 11 9 0 2 174 79

2

Mansoc

11

8

1

2

133

66

34

2

Larrikins

6

4

0

2

23

6

12

3

Net Assets

11

7

0

4

143

111

28

3

Oral Specialists

6

3

1

2

13

7

10

4

Leazes Ladies

11

7

0

4

123

92

28

4

BioSci Hockey Legends

6

3

0

3

13

9

9

Team

Pld

Pts

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

36

1

Agrics

5

5

0

0

12

2

Pts 15

4

Southern Fairies

8

4

0

4

185

117

22

5

Larrikins

8

4

0

4

118

134

18

5

Biology Netball

11

5

2

4

102

108

24

5

Law School

6

3

0

3

10

12

9

6

Cheeky Ladies

8

3

1

4

133

179

18

6

CHS

11

4

1

6

112

108

18

6

Pink Panthers

6

3

0

3

7

18

9

7

Engines

7

3

0

4

98

121

14

7

Agrics B

11

1

2

8

71

138

8

7

MLS

5

1

1

3

5

11

4

8

Agrics 2

7

1

0

6

21

261

4

8

RRE

11

0

0

11

19

175

0

8

NUTS

6

0

0

6

3

21

0

9

Medics

8

0

0

8

46

272

1

2 9

Net Assets Uni Hockey

10 18

Fixtures - Sunday 4 March

RRE Mansoc

0 21

Cup Quarter-Finals Agrics 2 Cheeky Ladies

0 19

Engines Titans

0 38

Southern Fairies Agrics 1

3 21

Biology Netball Leazes Ladies CHS Agrics B

15 0

5pm-6pm Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Wednesday’s Intra Mural Fixtures

1

Netball Ninjas

9

9

0

0

137

54

36

Football Div One:

2

Agrics

9

8

0

1

164

50

32

3

Polly’s Dollies

9

6

0

3

119

84

24

4

Chem Eng

10

4

0

6

79

101

16

5

CHS

10

4

0

6

106

133

16

6

NUSSC

9

2

0

7

44

109

8

7

The History Girls

10

0

0

10 28

146

0

Div Two:

Div Three:

Aftermath vs Castle Leazes (Cochrane Park 1, 2pm) Dyslexic Untied vs Barca Law Na (Longbenton 3G, 3.45pm) Henderson Hall vs Medics 1sts (Cochrane Park 2, 2pm) AR U Shavin vs B Forsyth (Redhall Drive 4, 2pm) Ecosoccer vs Newhist FC (Longbenton 3G, 8pm) Lokomotiv vs Boca Seniors (Close House 3, 2pm) Medcs 2nds vs Hurricanes (Longbenton 2, 2pm) Combined Hons vs Brown Magic (Redhall Drive 5, 2pm) Jesmondino vs Galacticos (Close House 5, 2pm) Politic Thistle vs Shakhtar FC (Close House 1, 2pm) Roman Villa vs Dynamos (Close House 4, 2pm)

Rugby Union League: Agrrics 2 CUP S-F: Armstrong Engines

vs Engines vs Titans vs Agrics 1

(Close House, 2.15pm) (Cochrane Park, 2.15pm) (Heatom, 2.15pm)

Agrics CHS

23 11

Chem Eng NUSSC

16 5

Polly’s Dollies The History Girls

19 2

NUTS Agrics

vs vs

BioSci Law School

Longbenton Artificial - 09:30 Longbenton Artificial - 10:30

Group B Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

Toon Raiders

3

3

0

0

11

0

9

2

The Gunners

4

2

1

1

5

3

7

3

Green Sticks

3

1

2

0

6

2

5

4

NUSSC

4

1

2

1

2

5

5

5

Black Panthers

3

1

1

1

3

4

4

6

Mojoholics

2

0

0

2

1

4

0

7

Combined Honours

3

0

0

3

2

12

0

The Courier Online

Check out thecourieronline.co.uk/ sport for an exclusive round-up of Tuesday’s netball action

with win Agrics cast spell on Fairies to reach a victory of herculean proportions, and as they carried their deity Rech off into the sunset, Henderson were left to pick up the cones and pieces of their title challenge.

semis and set up cup date with Ladies INTRA MURAL RUGBY CUP QUARTER-FINAL Agrics 1s

21

Southern Fairies

3

Storey

Womersley Morgan-Smith

Bexon

Moat

Thompson

Sayer

Rech

McAllister Zafar

Decesere

Priests

McMillan

Wild

Watson

Scott

Tollasson

Warburton Davies

Allsop

Jones

Alcock

By Patrick Reade at COCHRANE PARK Agrics rumbled into the semi final of the Intra Mural Cup on Wednesday as they shrugged off the Southern Fairies 21-3, setting up a semi final clash against the Cheeky Ladies.

Both sides made their intentions clear in the opening minutes of the game, playing a fast paced and open style of rugby.

However the Fairies defence was breached after 15 minutes when slick Agric handling resulted in Andy Whiteford exploiting an overlap and finishing well in the corner. The resulting conversion was pushed wide

by the blustery conditions, leaving the score at 5-0.

It was ill discipline that dealt a blow to the Fairies efforts, as a penalty given in their favour was reversed for bizarre backchat to the referee. This allowed Jim Thompson to slot a well taken three points, moving the Agrics eight points ahead with 20 minutes on the clock.

Despite clawing their way back into the game with a solid stint of possession, it was the Fairies mistakes that continued to hinder their momentum, failing to make touch from a penalty inside the Agrics half after good forward work drove them up the pitch.

On 28 minutes Agrics extended their advantage as workhorse Cameron Shaw battled his way over the Fairies line following some impressive ball retention. Shaw was able to outmuscle a tired Fairies defence, touching down in the corner. The conversion was once again missed, leaving the score at 13-0 with 10 minutes of the first half remaining.

A few dubious decisions from the

referee, as well as a flurry of unpunished Agric infringements, seemed to dishearten the Fairies outfit, as the men in green began to adopt the Richie McCaw ‘it’s not illegal until the referee sees it’ approach to the game.

The Fairies were hoping to close out the half, having played well in patches against such a telling wind. However just before the break a further three points were added by the boot of Thompson, as handling in the ruck presented a 30 yard shot at goal to the left of the posts which was converted to leave the half time score at 16-0.

The Fairies began the second half strongly, making it clearly evident that a comeback could be on the cards. A rewarding penalty for gruelling forward work was pushed wide by scrum half Cunningham, although the Fairies now appeared to have a twinkle in their step.

A pivotal point in the game came midway through the second half, as a loose ball was fly-hacked through by the Fairies, only to have their outside centre hauled to the ground without

the ball, just meters from the try line.

The punishment should have been a huge turning point; a penalty try and ten minutes in the bin for the offender.

To the Fairies horror however, the referee remained unmoved.

The pressure allowed the Fairies to convert a penalty from the boot of Cunningham, retreating to their own half, feeling extremely hard done by.

As the Agrics regained their hold on the match, a five metre scrum set the scene for the last score of the game as Josh Crick crashed over in the corner following some ‘Sonny Bill’-like offloads and superb support play, which was ultimately too much for the Fairies defence.

The final whistle signified the end of a tough encounter between two sides equally eager to progress into the next round of the cup.

It was the Agrics support play and physicality over all areas of the pitch that proved decisive, and they now face the Cheeky Ladies who are the last obstacle on their path to the final.

44.sportBUCS

Monday 27 February 2012

Owls swoop to victory in windy Midlands battle RUGBY LEAGUE Lincoln 1sts Newcastle 2nds

12 68

By George Clarke and James Walker in LINCOLN Courtesy of the new £19 million redevelopment of the A46 bypass, The Death Machine rolled into the NonMetropolitan town of Lincoln, conquered by the Romans in AD48 and NURL 2s in 2012.

The seconds were welcomed by the return of Jish Cranoge from a careerthreatening thumb injury, but lacked bulk through the absence of winner of Wigan’s Next Top Model and Rik Waller-lookalike Conor Ellison.

The game started well for NURL who smashed the AU record of the fastest scored try when long-haired beauty George Mafyou pranced around the Lincoln defence and then sprinted half the pitch to open the scoring for the Owls after four and a half seconds.

This was an indication for things to

come with Mafyou scoring again, followed by a well-deserved 95 metre try for Wory Rilliams.

Shortly after this array of tries, parttime model & full-time ladies man Georgeous Clarke used his muscular upper torso to shrug off the limp efforts of the Lincoln Lemonheads defence to extend the lead; this try however was marred by the injury to NURL dental supremo John-Berlin Wall who went over his ankle when trying to floss his way through the defence.

More tries came through Warrington wizard Chris Griffithz, Somini Edscer, Dame Knox (now sporting an elegant rat tail haircut), Ian Macfurburger and Mafyou, who went over for a fabulous fourth try. The go forward for these tries was generated by great carries from 5st 3lb Kenyan Jock Anglais and NURL’s French maverick Arnaud Amillard who displayed some controversial footwork.

An impressive first half for the AU’s most beloved team was brought to an end by Griffithz who broke clear before slowing down to stroll in for his

The Courier

Savitt doubles

second of the afternoon whilst taunting the obese covering Lincoln Neanderthal.

The second half began well for the Newcastle outfit with more tries for the Death Machine. Unfortunately NURL didn’t escape without a few battle wounds. Centre Jenny Warts broke his nose in a tackle with a Lincoln airhead. Warts now has a nose to rival that of Griffithz’ who helped send the Owls into a frenzy by setting Mafyou up for his fifth try of the afternoon. The Sheriff of Nottingham was ecstatic with his tries and this excitement was continued with NURL’s final try from Dr. Daniel CrapooparosMiddrift. Winner of Chorley’s Biggest Loser, Crapooparos broke down in tears such was his delight at the fact he’d scored a try from his great two inch dash, evading Lincoln’s twelveyear-old fullback on the way to losing his NURL try virginity in his thirteenth year of devotion to the synagogue of NURL. NURL now go into next week with a yet undrawn cup game and the much anticipated Stan Calvert game.

Niall Haughey and Michael Spencer celebrate Newcastle’s fourth goal, sealing their victory agains

Handball display promise in debut HANDBALL

By Manu Espinosa Nevraumont in MANCHESTER Last weekend the Newcastle University handball had a promising showing at the University Handball Championships in Manchester, organised by the ABUHC. Overall the team had 3 wins and 2 losses.

Getting off to a good start with a 6-3 win over Bangor they then fell to a 5-13 defeat to group-winners Oxford. A rather unjust score line of 4-9 against Lincoln A followed, in what was a closely contested game for the most part. Both sides had drawn a fixture only two weeks earlier.

Despite this sore defeat, Newcastle picked themselves back up to seal a narrow 4-3 win over Lincoln B to ensure third place in their group.

However, the loss to Lincoln A meant qualification to the quarter-finals was not possible, but third entailed a playoff against Brighton.

In what was probably one of the games’ of the tournament, Newcastle prevailed 7-6 victors. In engaging a new set of tactics, Brighton were caught off guard, conceding two suspensions and two penalties. After some spectacular goals from Juan Carlos Sachez “Kacho”, a frantic finish ensued with Brighton looking for an equalizer. Despite top-scorer Geoffrey Laborde coming off injured and receiving a suspension themselves, Newcastle stayed strong defensively to pull off a fantastic victory.

The University of Essex won the competition after beating the Uni-

versity of Manchester in the final.

Newcastle’s final win meant an overall joint 9th place position out of over 20 teams, in what is the Handball Club’s first competitive showing.

The Club was established following on from a popular series of GoPlay sessions ran by NUSU. The team is multicultural with Spanish, French, German and Mexican students among an encouraging number of British players. Several of the British contingent have been asked to attend trials for the Great Britain Students’ squad, with a forthcoming update should any make the cut.

Mark Harrison, who has been coaching the team and leading from the sidelines for the Championships said, “to finish in the top half of the tournament amongst some highly experienced teams, in what is our first year in existence, is phenomenal. It was necessary for the players to give 100%, and not one of them disappointed.”

The Newcastle University Handball Club is under the Presidency of Jack McKay and after such a successful first season with a largely beginner squad, plans are already underway for a larger recruitment programme in September and entry into a national England Handball league.

WANT TO TRY OUT A NEW SPORT WITH GO PLAY? Head to the Activities Centre or email active.union@ncl. ac.uk to see what other sports are on offer!

The Courier

BUCSsport.45

Monday 27 February 2012

up as Royals smash Saints MEN’S FOOTBALL Newcastle 1sts York St. John 1sts

4 1

By Niall Haughey at LONGBENTON 3G

st York St. John Photography: Hubert Lam

The Men’s first team continued their impressive BUCS form on Wednesday when they welcomed York St Johns to fortress Longbenton.

The Royals were in buoyant mood following last week’s impressive away win at Liverpool, but they started relatively slowly and York, scrapping to avoid relegation, dominated the opening exchanges. Newcastle struggled to get their passing rhythm but York’s relatively direct approach was dealt with by the back four of Haughey, Holden, Fisher and Dhugga. The Royals eventually began to get a foothold in the match, with winger Nathan Campbell causing mischief down the left hand side.

The game then swung quickly into Newcastle’s favour with a quick-fire double from talisman Ed Savitt. The first came after 20 minutes, when Savitt was himself felled just outside the box. Savitt brushed himself down and struck the free-kick into the back of the net, cleverly bending his strike around the wall and beating the goal-

keeper at his near post. The second arrived just minutes later, when midfielder Tom Smith produced an effort from distance which was deflected wide. However, the deflection looped straight to the head of Savitt, who duly nodded home, wrong footing the helpless York stopper.

It should have been 3-0 a little later, when the tricky Nathan Campbell cut inside from his wing and made an inside pass through the York defence, setting striker Tom Stapleton up with only the keeper to beat. With the goal gaping, Stapleton then proceeded to shoot wide, dumfounding teammates and spectators alike. Things got worse for Stapleton just before half time when York pegged it back to 2-1. A relatively simple knock over the top caught the defence napping, and the impressive York number 10 laced his effort past the oncoming Weston Murau. This was probably no more than the away side deserved, having struck the bar from a rasping free-kick not long before.

Newcastle continued to improve after the interval, with York causing little problems, minus the odd set-piece.

However, the third goal didn’t arrive until the seventy-fifth minute. Tenacious midfielder Adam Fearn won a fifty-fifty challenge in the York half, sending the tireless Stapleton through

on goal once again. Stapleton managed to keep a cool head on this occasion, rounding the keeper with great composure and slotting into an empty net.

However, the Royals attackers failed to put the game to bed, with two fantastic opportunities going begging.

The first was courtesy of Campbell, who latched on to a loose ball from a York defender to leave himself bearing down on goal. The winger used great trickery to round keeper, leaving an open goal at his mercy. However, Campbell inextricably passed his effort into the side netting, leaving the score at 3-1. Spencer was next to curse his luck, when a great delivery from replacement Rishi Dhand gave him a free header from five yards out.

Spencer was unable to capitalise and his headed effort landed safely in the hands of a grateful keeper. Spencer atoned for this with not long on the clock with an impressive solo effort which saw him cut inside from his newly favoured left wing position, beating three men in the York defence and bending his effort into the bottom corner to make it 4-1. Victory leave the first team with only 1 defeat in the league this season, and continuing to battle for promotion to BUCS Premier North.

Angels flying high in Loughborough

CHEERLEADING

By Sophie Ledger in LOUGHBOROUGH The majority of people naturally assume that cheerleading involves nothing more than standing pitchside with short skirts and pompoms.

However, contrary to the stereotype, cheerleading is now recognised as a sport in its own right and is a demanding combination of gymnastics, stunts and dance.

Last weekend saw the University’s cheerleading squad, the Newcastle Northern Angels, compete alongside 45 other university squads at the University National Championships.

The competition is held over both the Saturday and the Sunday at Loughborough University’s Sports Centre, which is temporary transformed into the set of Bring It On over the course of the weekend.

The Angel’s elite dance team went down on the Saturday and kicked off the competition by competing in the most technically difficult dance division. Led by dance captain Katrina Clark, the team competed in two rounds over the course of the day.

Feedback from the judging panel between the two performances allowed for essential changes to be made to the formations and choreography, resulting in even higher scores from the second round. The technical skill of the girls and the choreography by Katrina Clark and Carly Harrison meant that the team gained an admiral third place overall.

The majority of the squad traveled down to Loughborough on the Sunday morning. Due to the sheer number of universities that entered this

year, the competition was scheduled to start at 7am which meant that the coach left Newcastle at the grueling time of 3:30am. The Angel’s 40 member strong stunt squad competed in two separate stunt divisions, and took alterations made to the formations following judges feedback in their stride.

Routines choreographed by captain Sophie Ledger and coach Tarren Smarr provided the basis for the girls to show everything that they have been training so hard for over the last few months. The squad’s hard work and dedication paid off as the two routines placed in the Top 5 in the country. MVCs (most valuble cheerleaders) were awarded to Kirsty Blake, Emma Carter and Sinead Burns for their contribution and dedication to the squad, and their contagiously positive attitude at the training sessions running up to the competition.

Special mentions also need to go out to Charlotte Rutherford, Poppy Ilderton and Lydia Jansen for their performance skills and faces on the mat, and Carly Harrison who was in every routine put forward by the Northern Angels.

In addition to the outstanding success at the recent University Nationals, the University team also competed in the Northern Regionals in Blackpool last December. Unsurprisingly, the Northern Angels were ranked the highest scoring university in the North in every division entered, beating local rivals from Durham University - the Durham Divas.

You can see the Northern Angels perform another one of their showstopping routines at the final of the Stan Calvert Memorial Cup on 4 March.

Seconds secure place in semis NETBALL

By Fiona Moss

Newcastle 2nds Northumbria 2nds

Quarter final of the Cup and Newcastle draw the Poly, away, as their opposition. Ten days before Stan Calvert, the match gave the seconds a perfect opportunity to analyse their local rivals. Furthermore a win through to the semi-finals would be the extra confidence boost for the team, who, in order to ensure BUCS promotion, must win all their remaining games.

Although Northumbria’s second team, after promotion last year, sit in a league above Newcastle, the Uni took control of the match.

It was in the second quarter that Newcastle really drew away, opening up a gap in the scoreline. Their continuous movement and patience paid off, tiring the Northumbrian defence to take a lead of 25-12 at half time. The home team could not find any hole in the Uni’s defence and despite a few stoppages in play; the seconds maintained this lead for the remainder of the match.

The entire team played exceptionally throughout the match. Defence was as dynamic as ever with perfect communication and movement, whilst Emma Richardson had an outstanding game, putting continuous pressure on the Poly’s centre court, picking off countless interceptions. Stephanie Blain and Laura Harvey proved just how successful a combination they have become over the season, moving the ball intuitively around the ‘D’ between one another.

An excellent win for the seconds.

Let’s hope that they can replicate this win on 4 March.

Newcastle 2nds Newcastle 3rds

The Angels hard work paid off, earning them a top five finish. Photography: Elliot Ledger

35 33

40 29

Playing on a Thursday wasn’t ideal for either team, particularly the seconds who were still recovering from their hard fought encounter with Northumbria the day before. However a play off between NUNC team always promises to provide entertainment.

The thirds came out strong straight away with the seconds only proving their strength by the few mistakes that the thirds made, taking the lead after the first quarter by three goals.

Despite a scrappy second quarter the seconds made their lead more distinctive, opening a gap by six. It was the third quarter that really placed a lot of pressure on the seconds. Their tired legs proved evident and the thirds took advantage of this coming out fast, converting their centres and turning a number of their oppositions. Even though the seconds’ heads went down they were still leading at the end of the quarter by 2. Confidence filled the thirds in the final break, whereas Sassa Hamilton had to give a “sort yourselves out chat” to her team and in the final quarter they showed evidence of how they played on the Wednesday and finished victorious over their club mates with a score 40-29.

A strong performance from the thirds, who showed how they have come on this season and how they deserve to be sitting in the top half of their league. The seconds looked tired from their match the day before, however proved they can still take the win when not playing at their best.

46.sportBUCS

Monday 27 February 2012

The Courier

Cricket Club bowl Poly over at South

Men secure comfortable victories while Ladies win in bizarre fashion to earn all six St STAN CALVERT CUP 2012 CRICKET Newcastle Northumbria

6 0

By Colin Henrys at SOUTH NORTH CC Newcastle’s Cricket Club secured a whitewash against Northumbria to earn six valuable Stan Calvert points at South Northumberland cricket club on Wednesday.

A win for the women in bizarre circumstances, which included 62 runs being scored from one over, was followed by much more comfortable wins for both Men’s sides to give the club their first Stan Calvert full house.

Newcastle Ladies 1sts 115/5 Northumbria Ladies 1sts 113/5 After a 13-run defeat in last season’s contest, there was pressure on the Uni women to avenge that loss but when their win arrived it was unusual to say the least.

Bowling first they got off to a great start as Louise Johnson picked up a run out with a direct hit in the second over, but Northumbria’s captain Charlotte Boulton hit an unbeaten halfcentury to put the Poly well on top.

Bella Wentworth Waites, the Uni’s stand-in captain, had pulled the game back into Newcastle’s favour with impressive bowling figures of 2-18 from her three overs, but when Yorkshire Women’s all-rounder Boulton brought up her half-century from the last ball of the innings, Newcastle faced a mammoth chase of 114 to win from their 12 overs.

Just two overs in to the Uni innings, that score looked to be a very distant target as Jen Haslam, Sarah Wood and Wentworth Waites were all removed to leave Newcastle in dire straits at 7/3.

Louise Johnson restored a little bit of respect to the score with a knock that included the first six of the day, but with Vicky Bates struggling to score

at the other end, including facing a maiden over, Newcastle reached the halfway point on just 29/3.

Johnson soon reached the 25 mark but her enforced retirement lasted just one ball after Lucy Alexander was bowled first ball. After nine overs the score had crawled to 45/4 but it was at this point that the game took a dramatic, and very bizarre turn.

With all three of Northumbria’s best bowlers having bowled their three overs, Boulton turned to fourth bowler Sally Lungmuss. Lungmuss started with a very big wide. Then another.

Then another. 26 balls later she still hadn’t landed a ball anywhere close to the batswomen and when she retired hurt, with the tenth over still yet to see a legitimate delivery, Newcastle had moved to 89/4.

The Poly’s fifth-choice bowler also struggled to hit the square, and with Johnson now on strike, even when she did more runs were scored. By the time the over was finally completed, the Uni had moved to 107/4 just, seven shy of victory.

Johnson was caught in the next over, bowled by the wicket keeper, for 30 however Bates, who had struggled to score but now crucially had not got out, was able to sweep the winning runs to give Newcastle a very unlikely victory.

While Wentworth Waites confessed that it was a somewhat hollow victory, matches like these require strength throughout the team. Northumbria had the better players, but they also had far and away the worst too and that is what cost them on the day.

Newcastle Men’s 2nds Northumbria Men’s 2nds

81/1 80ao

After the surreal ladies’ match, the two men’s events were much more straightforward affairs and could not have started any better for Newcastle as Seconds captain Chris Childs caught Northumbria’s opener off the first ball of the match; Matt Dowse having bowled it.

Throughout the innings, Northum-

bria struggled to score runs quickly and with the exception of their other opening batsman who scored 38* nobody really got going. Dowse (1-21) and Mike Darby (1-20) both bowled well, and late inclusion Andrew Laycock followed up this good work, taking the pace off the ball with his slow left arm bowling earning him 1-19.

The pick of the bowlers however was Jack Harrison whose three overs brought him a wicket of his own and cost just 13 runs. Two run-outs towards the end of the innings saw Northumbria dismissed for just 80.

Newcastle openers Tom Huysinga and Chris Childs adopted a safety first approach to the innings, and put 29 runs on the board for the first wicket.

Even when Huysinga got caught off the net sweeping, Newcastle barely had to step out of first gear. Laycock joined Childs at the crease and the two guided the Uni to 53/1 at the halfway point.

Childs reached his 25 with ease and all that was left after that was for Laycock to hit the winning runs with 10 balls to spare for a comfortable fivewicket win.

Newcastle Men’s 1sts Northumbria Men’s 1sts

90/2 88ao

The Firsts didn’t quite get off to such a perfect start however as Northumbria raced to 31 from the first two overs.

At this point it looked like Newcastle would end up chasing a massive score, but it proved to be a case of cometh the hour, cometh the man.

Club president Richard Stanyon, who has already forged his name into Stan Calvert folklore with some stand out performances in his previous two years, stepped up to bowl the third over and after a couple of uneventful balls, he ran in and produced a delivery that he will no doubt dine on for the rest of his career. His perfectly disguised slower ball completely deceived the Poly opener and clean bowled him.

The wicket proved to be the catalyst for a spectacular collapse too as captain Tom Ullyott grabbed himself two

Smith and Fagan got out, the latter being part of a wicket maiden, Newcastle had only managed to reach 33/2 off their first six overs.

Having excelled with the ball however, Ullyott turned it on with the bat too. Just as the Uni looked to have misjudged their chase, the captain accelerated and in tandem with Gareth Purshouse hit four consecutive threes and a huge six to take the score 68/2 with three overs remaining.

When Ullyott retired not out on 26,

and fast from the off. The aim was to stay calm, win every ground ball and let them make the mistakes. Second year co-captain Antonia “Toto” Pollock showed this fighting spirit and came out on top on the centre draws, towering over the Durham centre and stealing every ball with her signature “one-handed scoop”.

In spite of Newcastle’s best efforts, Durham, with the support on the sidelines from their entire first team squad and two very vocal American coaches, got a run of quick goals. With Newcastle two goals down with minutes to spare, the tackles were turning brutal and things were getting heated both on and off the pitch.

After a vicious head-check on central attacker Emily Cullen, the Newcastle team came to life with fiery tenacity and were out to seek revenge, reignited determination made sure that Durham wouldn’t leave Newcastle with a place in the final. With some

sublime attacking play and a perfectly executed left-handed shot from cocaptain Abi Sands, they were now only a goal down with 40 seconds to play.

In an all-out push from the attacking players, Antonia “Toto” Pollock slotted away a goal in the nick of time to take the final score to 7-7.

The teams were pumped with adrenaline and extra time beckoned. Six short minutes would decide their fate.

Three minutes passed with no score.

Then in the second half, with seven seconds left on the clock, a risky attacking move for Newcastle paid off and midfield defence Sarah “Lloydy” Lloyd hammered home the winning goal.

With celebrations ringing out across Cochrane Park and Durham walking off the pitch in tears, Newcastle Firsts proved once and for all that they were the better team, and will be heading to the BUCS finals in Sheffield on 16 March, confident of victory.

Last-minute Lloyd fires lacrosse women into Sheffield cup final LACROSSE

Newcastle 1sts Durham 2nds

8 7

By Abi Sands and Hannah Fisher at COCHRANE PARK

A late goal in the dying seconds of extra time earned Newcastle Firsts a place in the cup final.

Photography: Moises Bedrossian

wickets, including a great reaction catch off his own bowling, and a run out left Northumbria on 44/4.

Although they recovered slightly to pass 80, Ullyott returned to pick up his third wicket and finish with 3-24, and he was involved in the final wicket too as he nonchalantly claimed a onehanded catch to dismiss the last man off the bowling of Stanyon (2-17).

Like the Seconds before them, Newcastle adopted a cautious approach to the run chase, but when openers Alex

In a high-pressured match against arch rivals Durham, Newcastle Women’s Lacrosse First team proved to be superior for the second week running; earning themselves a place in Newcastle University sporting history as the first Wednesday team performance sport this year to reach the final of the BUCS trophy competition.

The players arrived to a tense and nervy atmosphere, but Newcastle possessed the psychological edge, having won a hard fought match the previous week 10-9. Since Durham Seconds had been undefeated in their league for a number of years, one thing Newcastle were certain of was that they were going to come out hard

The Courier

BUCSsport.47

Monday 27 February 2012

North Winning twenty-four seven tan Calvert points WOMEN’S RUGBY UNION

Newcastle 1sts Dundee 1sts

Newcastle Men’s First Team take the attack to Northumbria on their way to comfortable wins Photography: Colin Henrys

Purshouse took over the mantle with a great run to the wicket keeper that saw a run out chance missed and then an inventive sweep to mid-wicket that brought three more runs.

Purshouse reached 26 with Newcastle just one run short of victory, and victory arrived just moments later.

Newcastle’s three victories maintain Team Newcastle’s perfect start to this year’s Stan Calvert competition and as the big Stan Calvert day draws near, it is early advantage to Newcastle.

LEAGUE TABLE 8 EDINBURGH 9 NOTTINGHAM 10 NEWCASTLE 11 BRISTOL 12 OXFORD

1598 1587 1330 1306 1299

By Emma Boyle at COCHRANE PARK Back on home turf after Monday night’s league victory away at Teesside, Newcastle were feeling the effects of having played less than 48 hours before when they began the warm up.

However, playing for a place in the semi-finals of the BUCS trophy competition meant that the undefeated NWR were as pumped as ever and soon forgot about the aches and pains.

It was windy conditions again but Newcastle were able to use their experience from playing in windy Teesside on Monday night to adapt their game play and use it to their advantage.

Fly-half, Phoebe Lebrecht, kept the kick-off low, which threw Dundee.

Not quick enough to react, this enabled number eight, Holly Malins, to charge forward and throw her body onto the ball to win it for Newcastle, immediately putting Dundee on the back foot. Strong rucking from the pack meant that Newcastle were able to retain the ball, whilst quick hands and great support running from the backs meant that they were constantly attacking with an overlap. Dundee’s defence held strong though, with great cover tackles being made whenever a Newcastle player broke their line, meaning that NWR were struggling to convert their great play into points under the posts. The Newcastle attack, however, was relentless and following a series of offloads, Malins made the final one to full back Pat Lapierre to put her across the line in the corner and the first points on the board. A very difficult angle for Lebrecht meant she was unable to convert.

BASKETBALL

W1 v Birmingham 1sts W2 v Durham 2nds

40-37 59-71

nate with great breaks from captain Leberecht and centre Neal but a few missed chances close to the try line left them frustrated. It was Malins to the rescue, however, who managed to break through the defensive line once again. She had great support runners with her but proved once again that she didn’t need them when she was tackled just before the line but was able to place the ball over her head to score whilst she was upside down with the rest of her body still in the air. Lebrecht was able to convert to make the score a comfortable 24-0.

Dundee proved that they were not quitters, however, when they converted the opportunity of a scrum in Newcastle’s 22 into a try with strong running from their number 10 who managed to punch through the defensive back line to score under the posts.

They converted to make to make it 247, which is where the score remained.

All in all it was a great performance

by Newcastle which has put them through to the semi-finals against Sheffield Hallam on the 7 March. The undefeated NWR are looking to keep up their form and make it all the way to the finals.

Forward of the match went to hooker Hannah Daykin for her outstanding rucking and work in the scrum to steal the ball. Back of the match was awarded to fly-half and captain Phoebe Lebrecht for her great support running, tackling and line breaks despite getting injured early on in the match.

Player of the match was awarded by Dundee to number eight Holly Malins for her strong running.

Holly Malins leaves the Leeds back line standing as she runs through for one of her two tries Photography: Moises Bedrossian

9

Won

Campbell’s super: Royals into last four WOMEN’S FOOTBALL

Newcastle entered Wednesday’s quarter final quietly confident that they would emerge victorious. Their previous record against Hull, a 7-0 victory earlier on in the season, gave them the confidence needed for this match.

However Hull’s late arrival had a big impact on morale, causing disruption to Newcastle at the beginning of the game. After ten minutes it was still 0-0, an unusual score line for the Royals.

A few potential close calls were dealt with well on the left by Helen Knott and Anna Parkinson, giving the team a chance to settle and regain their composure.

Soon, Elizabeth Campbell gave the team the boost it needed. Using her renowned composure in front of goal, after a well placed pass from Lucy Crann, Campbell drove into the six yard box to power the ball into the back of the net.

True to form, once the first goal came, the second swiftly followed. A pressured clearance from centre back Helen Palfrey found Crann who fed through to Campbell once again to make it 2-0.

Although, despite valiant efforts from other striker Victoria Scott, the

royals failed to increase their lead before half time.

After a tense team talk from captain Steph Dalby, the Royals were reminded that semi final glory still hung in the balance.

Hull came out with renewed determination and proved there was still all to play for. In spite of this, Newcastle quickly began to dominate through their whippet winger Kim Baglietto, who was unlucky not to make it 3-0 with an acrobatic attempt at an overhead kick.

In the 65th minute, hat-trick hero Campbell struck again to make it 3-0.

Hull recovered quickly and were able to take advantage of a momentary lapse in the Royals’ concentration, giving the hull striker a clear shot on

FENCING

HOCKEY

RUGBY

Newcastle 1sts Hull 1sts

4 0

By Helen Palfrey at LONGBENTON

M2 v Durham 3rds W1 v N’bria 1sts

RESULTS

24 7

Those first 5 points dispelled any nerves NWR still had and they relaxed into the game which showed particularly in their ability to offload at any opportunity. A few questionable knock on decisions from the ref meant that Newcastle found themselves having to defend against a determined Dundee but the Newcastle forwards dominated in every scrum, with hooker Hannah Daykin winning the ball for the Nubiles in nearly all of them. Dundee did test the Newcastle defence when they spent a good ten minutes attacking in Newcastle’s 22.

NWR remained strong though, putting in tackle after tackle and holding the ball up when Dundee did attempt to cross the line.

This spell of defending only spurred Newcastle on to get out of their 22, put Dundee under pressure and more points on the board. Lebrecht used the wind to her advantage and created some great opportunities with her well placed kicks. However it was the backs’ slick hands and hard running, that created the opportunity for Malins, the wannabe back, to use the overlap to outpace the Dundee winger and run the length of Teesside’s half to place the ball comfortably below the posts. An easy conversion for Lebrect saw the score rise to 12-0.

The Newcastle forwards continued their ruthless scrums and turning the ball over at every opportunity to ensure that NWR remained in control.

After the success of the previous try, the backs pulled off a similar move to allow Malins to use her pace once again and strength to run rings round the Dundee defence and cross the line again to make it 17-0.

Dundee made some advances towards the Newcastle try line in the second half but struggled to find a hole in the defensive line and keep possession of the ball. NWR continued to domi-

FOOTBALL

M1 v York St. John 1sts M3 v York 2nds W1 v Hull 1sts

GOLF

1 v Leeds 1sts

128-133 109-128

M1 v Birmingham 2nds W1 v Manchester 1sts

LACROSSE 4-1 1-1 4-1 4-2

M1 v Manchester 2nds W1 v Durham 2nds

NETBALL

W2 v Northumbria 2nds

3-2 1-5 3-4 8-7 35-33

M2 v Durham 3rds M3 v York 2nds M4 v Bishop Burton W1 v Dundee 1sts

RUGBY LEAGUE M2 v Lincoln

SQUASH

W1 v Birmingham 1sts W2 v Northumbria 2nds

15-19 10-7 7 - 15 40 - 5 68 - 12 0-4 3- 0

goal.

The match was littered with potential opportunities for Hull but none too testing for the solid Newcastle defence. A quick break meant that Baglietto was able to slot home a fourth to conclude Newcastle’s scoring and an exciting quarter final. Bring on the Semis!

SEMI-FINAL DRAW Sheffield 1sts vs Newcastle 1sts Liverpool Hope vs MMU Cheshire (Matches to be played 7 March)

TABLE TENNIS M2 v Northumbria 1sts W1 v Durham 6ths W2 v Northumbria 1sts

TENNIS

M1 v York 2nds

VOLLEYBALL

M1 v Leeds 1sts W1 v York 1sts

8-9 5-0 3-0 12 - 0 3-0 1-3

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 27 February 2012 Issue 1246 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

STAN CALVERT GLORY FOR CRICKET CLUB

CRICKET, P46

Ben Underwood’s (pictured) sideburns are still growing strong, having been banned from shaving them until the Royals taste their first BUCS defeat.

Photography: Hubert Lam

Intra Mural: league tables, Mawer success for Royals results and reports p.41-43

NUMHC storm through to BUCS Trophy Final MEN’S HOCKEY

Newcastle 1sts Birmingham 2nds

3 2

By John Colville at Longbenton Newcastle welcomed Birmingham 2s to Longbenton last Wednesday for the much-anticipated semi-final of the trophy to compete for a place in finals day in Sheffield on 15 March.

The Royals knew that Birmingham were not a side to be sniffed at, having demolished Sheffield 7-0 to get to this stage. Hoards of supporters came down to support the side and they were not to be disappointed witnessing an exhilarating 70 minutes of hockey.

Newcastle were up for the game and despite having to delay the start by 15 minutes due to the away team’s late arrival, the Royals did well to maintain their focus and ensure they were prepared from the first whistle.

The initial exchanges where tight with the majority of the play being in the middle of the pitch. Newcastle started pressing high and looked to test the visitors as both sides felt their way in to the game. However Birmingham were spreading the ball well and with class in all areas of the pitch Newcastle were made to work hard in order to keep the visitors at bay.

The early chances fell to Birmingham, thankfully coming to nothing courtesy of some fine goalkeeping from Johannes Linden and some poor finishing from the visitors. Having weathered the initial storm Newcastle began to stamp their authority, and were beginning to find each other and

test the visitors. It was then the Royals that took the initiative 20 minutes in, with Ben Gowing winning possession the ball found its way to Marcus Adams, the Fresher on hand to strike the ball firmly into the back of the net.

The Royals, who have become a more mature outfit, were able to take the sting out of the game by sitting off and teaming up to see themselves into half-time ahead in the semi-final at 1-0.

After a positive chat at half time Newcastle tried to build on their first half display. In control of the game they were not in a rush and worked

KIEREN BORRETT This central mid fielder proved relentless down the middle of the pitch, dictating play and deservedly earning himself Man of the Match

through their patterns of play. Kieran Borrett put in a dominant performance; tirelessly marshalling the middle of the pitch to win possession then set up attacks he earned himself man of the match and the robe with a fine display. However at 1-0 the lead was never safe, and 10 minutes into the half it was Birmingham who were applying the pressure accumulating in a short corner which they converted to draw level.

Newcastle’s heads could have dropped which would have been dangerous, however Newcastle’s twelfth man ensured this did not happen with James Jordan leading a rousing rendition of 40 Geordies from the support

who were fantastic throughout. The response was emphatic and Newcastle pushing hard for another produced the move of the game. Starting at left back the ball was worked around the back and through the midfield to Ben Underwood on the right wing. After some quick hands Underwood played the ball hard into the D, finding Hector Hall who delicately guided the ball in at the near post on the run. Newcastle then extended their lead 5 minutes later with Max Underwood drag flicking low and hard into the net past the helpless Birmingham keeper from a short corner.

However, immediately after Newcastle conceded when play was resumed.

Quickly moving up the pitch Birmingham were controversially awarded a short corner which they were able to score from to set up a nervous five minutes for players and support alike.

Although the Royals were not to be denied and were able to greet the final whistle with cheers as they defended excellently to see out the game at 3-2 and secure passage to their second final in as many years. NUMHC president Sam Mawer has called it “the biggest achievement for the club” in his time playing for Newcastle.

Newcastle now have a tough week ahead due to rearranged games as a result of frost cluttering their schedule, tallying up six games in nine days.

BUCS attention again turns back to their league campaign with two games in 1A to be played in the middle of this busy period, the first away at Leeds on Monday night potentially deciding who will take the title for 2011 with only a point separating the sides at the top.

CUP TITLE WITHIN REACH FOR NWR

RUGBY UNION, P47