School Friendships

By Nikki Wilson

Our son Toby is seven and a half years old, and has attended Pillans Point school since he was five years old.

I have always believed that the more people that get to know Toby in the community, the more he would be understood and make friendships within his community in Tauranga.

What I never imagined was just how many students at Pillans Point School would grow to love and include Toby. Being a stand-up comedian with an infectious smile has definitely helped students to warm to Toby.

From day one I believed it was best to explain in simple terms that Toby was different in the way he learnt and some of his challenges. Children have a natural curiosity and I have always felt it is better to help a child understand a person's differences so they can be more empathetic and open to forming new friendships. If a child started staring at Toby and looking confused about his behaviour, speech, or physical appearance, I always tried my best to help them to understand about Down syndrome.

My favourite saying was " This is Toby - Toby has Down syndrome which makes him different - but he is different in a really cool way. "

My next favourite saying:

" It is ok to stare, but just make sure you stare with a smile on your face, because Toby loves it when people smile at him" This always creates a lovely friendly interaction with the children, and opens up discussion about how being different is really cool.

Toby is very fortunate to have a big sister who has played, helped, and been protective of him since he was born. Before Toby started school, many older students already knew him. Big sister Mya had taught her peers the great things about Toby. It was not unusual for Mya to come home and tell us that her friends wished they had a brother like Toby because he was not annoying and was so much fun. It is not by chance that Toby has grown to be so well-liked by his school community. The staff at Pillans Point school have role modelled how to communicate, interact, and include Toby from the moment he started school. For this our family is so incredibly grateful!

As an adult, you know that you just need a few great friends in your life to feel content. Quality friendships over quantity is what matters.

This year, Toby has two amazing friends who wait for him to arrive each day, and spend every breaktime playing with him. Oliver and Larissa are incredibly caring friends who have a beautiful mutual kindness.

Last week Toby announced at 8.20am "Hurry up mum, my friends are all waiting for me." That was music to a mum's ears!

So, to conclude, I hope that all children who have Down syndrome get to experience a lovely positive school experience. I would encourage helping children to understand Down syndrome, rather than leave them staring and confused.

Thank you Pillans Point School community for "nailing" how to treat children with additional needs.

Article by Nikki Wilson

(More famously and proudly known as Toby Wilson's mum)