2 minute read

Want to Support Your Adolescent’s Health? Be an Askable Adult

from YC Magazine, Martin County - March 2021

from YC Magazine, Martin County - March 2021, page 17

Legal Does Not Mean Okay

I need dating tips for teens.

How many times recently have we heard about #Metoo in the news? With one in four girls and one of six boys being victimized by sexual violence before they turn 18, it’s time for us to talk about it with our kids, especially as they begin to step into the dating world. + Share with your child regularly your wisdom around dating and your expectations of them in the dating world. Share what your dating and intimacy expectations are for them, and encourage them to share these expectations with their dating partner. + Meet their dating partners and get to know them. Learn what your child likes about them. Help them to understand the boundaries you expect. For example, no calls or texts after 9 pm or setting reasonable curfews. + Discuss with your child the importance of avoiding being alone with a dating partner until they know each other better. + Highlight how drugs and alcohol can skew perceptions and can be used against someone to make them more vulnerable to harm. + Teach your child to “trust their gut.” If things feel weird or wrong, then they should trust that feeling and get out of the situation. + Help your child to create a safety plan for removing themselves from an uncomfortable situation. Maybe give them access to your Lyft or Uber account, or offer to pick them up whenever/ wherever they need it; no questions asked. + Work to instill in your child that they are always to be treated with respect. If anyone, especially a dating partner, belittles them or tries to take advantage of them, help your child know that this behavior is never going to be OK! + Take the Rating Game Challenge together:

YOUR DATING PARTNER (CHECK ALL THAT APPLY)

 Has an explosive temper  Is jealous of your time, friends, and family  Constantly criticizes you, your looks, your ideas  Pinches, slaps, grabs, or pushes you  Forces or intimidates you into sexual activity  Blames you for their anger  Makes you feel afraid

If you checked even one box, your partner rates a zero. Talk to your child and help find solutions that work for him/her.

Kelly Parsley, M.A. M.P.H. has been a victim advocate for sexual violence survivors for 21 years. She currently serves on the board of the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.