Shelby 's Story

I grew up in a single parent home, my Dad was in and out of prison, and my mom was struggling with addictions. I lived with my Grandma sometimes and spent a lot of time from about age 9 worrying about my little brother. I was often stressed and trying to make sure he had food and clean clothes. I had to grow up really fast in that environment.

I started using substances when I was 13, it started with smoking pot and then experimenting with alcohol. By the time I was 16, I was using Meth and things started spiraling out of control. Using substances got a grip on me because it felt good to be outside of my mind. My life was so chaotic with living between my parents when my dad got out of prison. He was using and selling prescription pills and I had no stability. I was couch surfing and still worrying about my brother who was not protected. He had started using drugs too and getting in fights which was so stressful.

When I was 19 I met my husband. He had 2 daughters I was helping to raise and I became pregnant with our son and three months after I had him I started using drugs again. My husband was using and selling drugs, so it was really hard not to use. My dad committed suicide and I was the person that found him and my brother was in prerelease and was really struggling with our dad’s death. In 2015 my brother also committed suicide in my apartment and I found him. With so much grief I was spiraling further and further into addiction until eventually our home was raided and I ended up going to jail. The children were taken to foster care and it was a really difficult time. I ended up divorcing my husband and my son was fostered by his aunt and is now living with his dad. I was in jail for 9 months and then went to a 60-day treatment program. It really just opened the door to my grief, sickness and addiction. Sixty days is not long enough to heal and recover.

I then went to prerelease and became pregnant. After my baby was born, I started using and this was when I was introduced to Heroin. It took me to a dark hole. Heroin is something I never thought I would do but it helped be feel calm and relaxed. I became pregnant with my daughter soon after this and was caught using drugs while on probation and was sent to prison. At this point I hit rock bottom. I was pregnant in prison with my son in foster care. I thought I can’t do this anymore; I have to change and it was heartbreaking to be away from my son.

After going into preterm labor, I was put on bed rest in a prison cell and moved to a different facility closer to a NICU. It was so awful to be in a prison cell on best rest all alone. Not long after that I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. I was able to spend 2 days with her in hospital and then she was taken to foster care and I went back to prison. It was devastating to me. I was so grateful to be able to see her for 2 visits for 2 hours per week and after 6 months I was sentenced to 3 years suspended sentence and the judge recommended I come to Florence Crittenton.

I was so excited for this opportunity I couldn’t believe I finally got to be with my babies. I arrived at Florence Crittenton very nervous and scared but found everyone to be really nice. It was so amazing to be reunited with my children and to be given this chance. After a while I started to realize that I really had a team behind me that cared about me. They were all rooting for me and my kids. I have never had a support system before.

I am now almost 3 years sober and I feel like I am experiencing a whole new world. I never thought I would be out of addiction, and I never thought I could feel this happy and be a mom again. I have worked through a lot of grief with my therapist, dealt with my addictions with the help of my treatment team, taken a ton of parenting classes and made some friends that feel like family to me. My kids participate in the early childhood programs and are blossoming! They are happy and healthy and I am so grateful they will grow up without the worries that I had and that they know they are loved and can have a stable, loving, childhood.

I am excited to be moving into my own apartment on my birthday next week. The apartment is part of Florence Crittenton’s transitional living program so I will still be able to still receive support from my counselors and case manager. My children will continue to go preschool and this enables me to continue my studies at Helena College. My goal is to become a licensed addictions counselor. Looking back I thank God for all the hard times and struggles that got me to where I am today and I want to use those experiences to touch the lives of other addicts.

I am so grateful for this program, and for all the people that work so hard to make it happen. I don’t think I would be sober and I wouldn’t have my children if it wasn’t for Florence Crittenton. Being reunited with my children was everything to me, to see them grow and have such a close bond with them is so important. I feel like I have been given a chance to build a new life for myself and my kids and I am so excited for our future.