Ball Bearings Magazine Volume 10 | Issue 1

B ALL BEARING S FALL 2018

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e world h t e g an s to ch what it takes t n a w ’s . ne Everyo ay. But here a difference ew 26 ake page in som o actually m t

It's Getting Hot in Here page 18

Coming Home page 22

Rebuilding After Release page 32

it’s just a food thing. you’d have to be there.

@ballstatedining

CONTENTS 4 10 14 18

TRENDING TOPICS

Technology changes the way people shop, share information, and order medicine. Popular fashion is also taking a turn toward modesty, and some states are repealing blue laws.

THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED ME

Members of the Ball State community share their life-altering stories.

AMORO(US)

Kaleb Fair and Jess Zint are polyamorous, one of the many types of non-traditional relationships people might enter when monogamy isn’t right for them.

IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE

Despite some individual efforts to protect the Earth, the politicization of environmental issues can slow down real progress.

cover photo: stephanie amador

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COMING HOME

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WE DEMAND CHANGE

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REBUILDING AFTER RELEASE

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These kids might not yet have the tools to fix the problems they see around them, but they already know how they want to help in the future.

Through years of study and reflection, Timothy Berg found the religion that speaks his language.

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MORE THAN A PRODUCT

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MR. WEST GOES TO WASHINGTON

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IS THAT WHAT THE KIDS ARE SAYING THESE DAYS?

Everyone wants to change the world in some way. But here’s what it takes to actually make a difference.

Autumn Bray was among the 2.3 million incarcerated people in America, but upon release, she was able to find the motivation to change her life in a positive way.

THE SCIENCE OF RESISTING CHANGE

The human brain is built to form and follow habits, which can make it hard to process new ideas.

HOW WOULD YOU CHANGE THE WORLD?

As consumers consider a company’s ethics in their buying decisions, more businesses realize the value of keeping employees happy.

Kanye West’s support of President Trump is just one example of how celebrities use their powers to influence politics.

New slang cultures among young people can seem unfamiliar to their parents and grandparents.

LET T ER FROM THE

EDITOR

I

’ve changed a lot during my 21 years here on Earth.

I’ve changed my hairstyle over the years (although I’ve always rocked my signature bangs). I’ve changed the type of music I listen to, going from Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers in elementary to now loving bands like the Lumineers and Vampire Weekend.

My style has changed, going from matching Aeropostale sweatshirts and sweatpants in middle school (shudder) to now wearing vintage pieces and floral patterns. What I’ve wanted to do with my life has changed, too, going from wanting to be a veterinarian and attending Purdue to now pursuing journalism at Ball State. My experience isn’t unique, though. From the time we are born until the time we pass away, we humans experience change.

The changes we face in our lives aren’t always positive.

My life was changed forever when my dad suddenly passed away when I was 9 years old, leaving my mom and I to navigate our changed family. Coming to college my freshman year was another huge change that I thought would be a positive, but in reality left me feeling alone and confused, missing my “old life.”

But change can be good, of course. Once I followed my heart and decided to study journalism at the end of my freshman year, my experience at college changed significantly. Now as a senior, it’s mind-boggling to reflect back on how much my life has changed for the better in the past two and a half years.

One of the most unsettling things about change, though, is knowing it’s coming but not knowing how it will affect you. In some ways, it’s absolutely terrifying not knowing where I’ll be at this time next year. Will I be living in a city, pursuing my dreams of working at a magazine? Or will I be living back home in my mom’s basement without a job? (Mom, I love you, but let’s be real––that isn’t what I want to do with my life.)

No matter what, change affects us all in some shape or

EMILY SABENS Editor-in-Chief ecsabens@bsu.edu Twitter: @ecsabens

form. Some individuals can discover something new in their lives, which in turn, changes their lives for the better (“Coming Home”). Others can take a negative situation and change it into something positive (“Rebuilding After Release”).

Our world is constantly changing, as well––which affects us all. We’re facing environmental issues that, if not fixed soon, will be detrimental (“It’s Getting Hot in Here”). Additionally, many people are ready to take issues into their own hands and start changing the world themselves––which is what our cover story focuses on (“We Demand Change”).

It’s often said there are three “Cs” that all individuals will encounter in their lives: choices, chances, and change. You have to make a choice to take a chance and you will, in turn, change your life. We don’t know what curveballs life will throw us, but we can also take comfort in the fact that some of the best days of our lives haven’t yet happened. If we all consciously make the choice to follow our goals and passions, then maybe we, too, can change the world for the better.

Ball Bearings | Ball State University | Muncie, Indiana | Fall 2018 Issue: Nov. 19 | ballbearingsmag14@gmail.com

BALL BEARINGS INSTAGRAM: @ballbearingsmag TWITTER: @ballbearingsmag ballbearingsmag.com

SUPPLYING YOUR CREATIVE.

EXECUTIVE

Editor-in-Chief Emily Sabens Executive Editor Katie Grieze Managing Editor Emily Cox Art Director Annelise Hanshaw Digital Design Editor Hannah Patton

EDITORIAL

Senior Editors Riley Eubanks Taylor Hohn Samantha Kupiainen Taylor Meyers Sam Nower Griffin Sciarra Staff Writers Pauleina Brunnemer Morgan Gonsoski Merrill Gourley Drew Locklear Gracie Massie Robbie Moscato-Goodpaster Bri Perkins Taylor Smith Kamryn Tomlinson Hunter Weiss

PHOTO

Photo Editor Stephanie Amador Photographers Branden Dwyer Shannon McCloskey Sammy Skelton Austin White

DESIGN

Designers Cecily Cavanaugh Elliot DeRose Lydia Olsen Alix Peters Sabrina Schnetzer Tt Shinkan Emily Wright

ADVISER

Lisa Renze-Rhodes

artmartmuncie.com 409 N. Martin Ste. 2

trending topics

//NEWS

Modest Attire

A trend toward less revealing clothes was driven by the desires of young religious people but is now more about promoting a variety of personal fashion choices.

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story: pauleina brunnemer | photos: shannon mccloskey

Adriana Castillo is a 20-year-old fashion merchandising student who traces her style back to her family's religion. She often wears long sleeves or jackets, along with neutral colors and minimal patterns.

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hen people think about modesty, especially in dress, religion is often connected to it,” says Amy Harden, an associate professor of fashion merchandising at Ball State University. “While it is indeed true for some, it is not the entire story.”

Dress codes exist around the world in schools, businesses, and even households. But dressing modestly is moving beyond following rules and into the trends of popular culture. Online platforms such as blogs or Instagram have given voice to young, often religious individuals who strive to make modest clothing cool.

Wearing garments that cover a certain amount of skin or hair is often about adhering to the moral code of one’s religion, Harden says, but modest dress can also just be a personal choice.

Adriana Castillo, a sophomore fashion merchandising student at Ball State, first experienced modesty within her Catholic family. Going to church influenced her outlook on fashion, as she got used to dressing in ways appropriate for attending Mass: long dresses, white ankle socks, black shoes, and hair bows. If her dress didn’t have long sleeves, she would cover up with a shawl.

Much like Adriana, Alyssa Carey found religion to be a significant

Alyssa Carey is a 25-year-old art student with a modest style. She wears patterns and textures that make her feel comfortable and help express her personality.

factor in her modest fashion sense. Alyssa, a Ball State art student, is the granddaughter of a Christian preacher.

Her family established distinct rules about the clothing allowed to be worn both inside and outside the home. At the time, if Alyssa’s clothing didn’t meet length requirements, such as shorts or dresses not being fingertip length, she was asked not to leave the house. Middle school was when she most wanted to rebel against these rules and wear things like crop tops, but she now appreciates those rules and believes dressing modestly helps express her personality. She says that as she got older, modesty became more important to her. The clothes and outfits she puts together show off her personality and style rather than her body, allowing her to feel empowered as a woman.

Alyssa’s fashion sense was also shaped by learning to sew from her grandmother, who used vintage patterns in her work.

“These patterns were very modest,” Alyssa says. “I would alter them to keep some of those vintage elements, while transforming

it into a more modern take on the style.”

She created dresses to wear on Sunday mornings or other special occasions, then mixed the vintage styles with modern jewelry and other accessories for a casual look she could wear to school.

The rise in corporate companies who produce modest fashion products has largely come from a desire to appeal to shoppers like Adriana and Alyssa. There hasn’t necessarily been an evolution of modesty, Harden says, but rather a movement to include a variety of personal style choices.

“The concept of what is modest and how it is expressed, especially in dress, is a gradual process because it is culturally defined,” says Harden.

As people grow up, they can accept the ideas of appropriate dress they were raised with or begin to change how they define modesty. Attitudes shift with time, Harden says, and fashion choices will reflect those changing values.

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//NEWS

Busting Brick and Mortar As online competition forces some stores out of business, experts offer technology-based strategies that could help physical retailers stay relevant.

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story: hunter weiss

ast year, more than 8,000 retail stores closed their doors, according to Business Insider. It was the highest number of the century, surpassing the last record set in 2008, when the Great Recession put more than 6,000 stores out of business, according to Credit Suisse, a financial services company. Now, Business Insider predicts that more than 3,800 stores will follow suit by the end of 2018.

For brick and mortar businesses that are falling behind online competition, it might be necessary to make some changes.

According to Kelly Stanley, a lecturer of telecommunications who specializes in sales and promotion at Ball State University, businesses should recognize that customers’ desires have changed across generations. Physical stores should pay attention to the demographics they’re targeting. She says if the business is trying to appeal to an audience that uses social media, then brick and mortar needs to adapt.

Physical stores could increase sales by using new technology and incorporating more social media strategies, Stanley says.

Even if stores don’t wish to make sales online, they can still promote through social media, attracting customers to their locations. This might be accomplished by posting about in-store-only deals and other special events. Stanley says retailers can also engage audiences on social media by posting human interest stories or publishing blogs.

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photo illustration: branden dwyer

Number of Stores Closed Since 2017 Payless ShoeSource J.C. Penney Macy’s Abercrombie & Fitch Wet Seal American Appa 0

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source: forbes

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graphics: lydia olsen

The Future of Blue Laws Laws meant to protect the Sabbath have been around for centuries, enforcing religious values but threatening business success.

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story: drew locklear

t was a Sunday morning back in 2003. Sean Hildebrand, a college student in Delaware at the time, woke up slowly. As he started moving around, he remembered his friends would be coming over later that night to watch a game. But, he didn’t have beer. He hustled to get ready, grabbed his keys, and drove to the Maryland border.

Because it was a Sunday in Delaware, a blue law prohibited the sale of alcohol there. Blue laws are essentially meant to prevent people from doing things that could keep them from worship, according to Ohio History Central. Until recently, a blue law similar to the one Hildebrand faced prevented Sunday alcohol sales in Indiana, and laws forbidding Sunday vehicle sales are

still enforced.

Blue laws have been used in the United States since the colonial times. The most common blue laws are those keeping businesses from selling alcohol on Sundays.

Hildebrand, now an assistant professor of political science at Ball State University, described how it used to be that even major retail stores unrelated to alcohol were closed on Sundays. While some states have become more lenient with these laws, the rules still stand firm in other areas of the country.

“There’s still major Christian influence throughout our system of government, as much as we say ‘separation of church and state,’” Hildebrand says. “It’s been there for 230 years. It’s not like it’s just going

to disappear.”

William Stutz, a manager at Friendly Package Liquors in Yorktown, says America has always had a love-hate relationship with alcohol, at least partially due to conflicting values of religion and capitalism. Stutz says blue laws limiting alcohol sales can be bad for business.

“Last year, I think New Year’s Eve fell on a Sunday,” he says. “When you have to close down for that, there’s obviously going to be an impact.”

Still, Hildebrand says there are places throughout the country that are always going to favor these laws.

They might have changed in the past few decades, but they’re never fully going away.

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//NEWS

Theft on the Net

Even as overall crime rates drop, the risk of online scams scares Americans more than ever.

W

story: kamryn tomlinson

hile crime and fear have existed as long as humanity, the methods people use to commit crime are always evolving. Capt.

David R. Bursten, chief public information officer for the Indiana State Police, says advancements in technology allow for a field of cyber crimes, which he believes most often happen through over-thephone and online scams. Other online offenses include financial extortion, credit card theft and fraud, email phishing, and identity theft.

According to Pew Research, crime has been on a slow and steady downfall since 1993. Of the crimes still happening, America seems to be shifting away from violence and toward the cyber world.

Identity theft affected more than 6 percent of all Americans in 2016, according to Javelin Strategy & Research, and incidents involving stolen credit card information were among the most frequently committed crimes of 2017.

As it grows, identity theft has become a top fear for Americans. According to Gallup, the top

four crimes that scare people most are related to identity theft. In 2017, 32 percent of people were afraid of having their identities stolen, and 37 percent worried that someone would obtain their financial information. Related crimes, such as password, email, and e-record hacking, also foster panic in the eyes of many.

The effects of identity theft can be life-changing, having long-term consequences. About 17 percent of victims are able to resolve problems within six months, but nearly 62 percent say their cases remain open and unsolved to this day.

Some precautions to help protect identity information include installing security freezes on bank accounts, shredding documents containing social security information, and immediately deleting spam emails, text messages, and phone calls. Professionals also suggest creating longer passwords on mobile devices and installing security systems on laptops or desktop computers.

A 2017 study by the Identity Theft Resource Center found that more than 38 percent of individuals who had their identities stolen in the past have had difficulty obtaining credit cards.

illustration: annelise hanshaw

Inside Internet Pharmacies Inside Internet Pharmacies

Buying medicines online can be cheaper and more private, but unlicensed providers can put patients at risk.

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story: bri perkins

s the internet allows for more and more tasks to be completed from home, online medication sales have been on the rise. However, some of these digital suppliers are not licensed, which can be concerning for professionals and those who have previously bought medications online.

According to an article from The Center

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for Safe Internet Pharmacies, there were up to 35,000 illicit online pharmacies in 2016, some illegally selling addictive controlled substances such as OxyContin or Xanax.

Buying these medicines without first consulting a doctor can increase a person’s chance of getting injured from or becoming addicted to the drug, according to CRC Health.

However, licensed online pharmacies can be the best option for some people.

Amanda Desorcy, who lives in Ohio, started buying her medicine from a licensed online pharmacy because it was cheaper than getting a prescription in-person, and the orders could be shipped right to her house.

Amanda hasn’t had any problems buying her medicine online.

photo: annelise hanshaw

Internet pharmacies are growing in popularity. Pharmacists say to be careful with this method.

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But Kenny Riddle, a pharmacist at Walgreens in Muncie, says it’s not always the best choice to buy medicine over the internet. For example, these pharmacies usually lack relationships between doctors and patients that Riddle says allow for more personalized and accurate prescriptions. He does praise the convenience of online services, though—as long as people are being safe.

The FDA provides several recommendations for safely buying drugs online. Patients should avoid websites that don’t require proof of valid prescriptions, offer suspiciously low prices, or are located outside the United States. Safe online pharmacies, on the other hand, will usually provide a U.S. street address and have licensed pharmacists available to answer any questions.

only one one only mile from from campus campus

THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED ME story: taylor smith

Members of the Ball State community share their life-altering stories.

story: taylor smith | photos: stephanie amador

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photo provided: ball state creative services

Q&A//

L

ife is not an endlessly paved road without twists and turns. It is paved in some places, rocky in others, and often changes course without warning signs. People grow, people learn, and people change. Every experience, from discovering a passion for dance to finding that a close friend has died, can have the potential to influence someone forever.

Life-changing stories can be difficult to share. Not all stories have happy endings, but most have valuable lessons. Below, four members of the Ball State University community describe their experiences by answering one question: “What moment has changed your life forever?”

Editor’s Note: This story does contain some strong language.

COURTNEY SHUB Courtney Shub is a freshman theatre creations and psychology major at Ball State.

I’ve been a performer my whole life. When I was in high school, I decided to audition for a theme park called Six Flags Great America.

My mom saw an advertisement for the auditions and told me, “Hey! You’re 16 now. Why don’t you give it a try?” I went into the audition not really expecting anything, but it was the best day of my life.

We had to learn two different dance combinations and perform them for the staff. I was smiling from ear-to-ear the whole time. We were in the theatre that I’ve known forever, and just to be auditioning on that stage was such a dream come true.

I remember the phone call about getting the job. I actually missed the call, then got so excited that I accidentally deleted the voicemail message before I could write down the extension number I needed. I looked all over the website until I found it, but when I called back, it went to voicemail. After 45 minutes of freaking out, I finally got the the call saying, “We’d like to offer you the position.”

I am mainly a dancer. Throughout my three summers at the theme park, I’ve performed in a variety of shows. For example, I do this drumming and dancing show in front of one of the rides. I do anywhere between five and eight shows a day of varying styles. This year in our indoor theatre, I was in a magic show with some dancing.

This experience has changed me so much as a person. I get to interact with the guests at the park every day. I found some of the greatest people I’ve ever met through this job. They’re the people I keep in contact with way more than the people I’ve gone to school with.

I definitely think performing has given me a lot of optimism in my life. I feel like I have my own personal “chase your dreams” story.

The job doesn’t feel like work at all, and it’s weird to think about ever having a job that does. During the school year, it pushes me to keep going. It gives me hope that there are good things in the world that

can come to people if they work hard for it.

No matter how crazy your dreams are, chase them anyway. You never know when you might luck out. A lot of performing is being in the right place at the right time, and that’s definitely what happened for me. Putting yourself out there and taking a risk can pay off sometimes.

ANDY OCH Andy Och is a sophomore secondary education math major at Ball State. Editor's Note: Andy couldn't be pictured due to policies at his job.

My mom has always had mental disorders. She is diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which a lot of people don’t know is actually a personality disorder. She has always had issues because of that, but it really didn’t catch on until I was 12 years old, and she had her third child, Tommy. He was a ruffian. He did a lot of things as a baby and made a lot of messes, and as someone with OCD, my mom wanted everything to be clean.

From that point on, and still today, my mom stopped being my mom.

She later had another child—there are now four kids under the Och name—and all four of us lived in the same household. She started not being a hands-on mother with any of us, and eventually, my dad and I took over all of the chores. I was between 11 and 13 at this time, so it was hard to raise and take care of three younger kids.

My grades started dropping. My siblings and I were all homeschooled at that point, and I really wasn’t where I needed to be educationally. So my dad put all of us in a private school named St. Matthews, and that helped with our learning.

With my mom, though, the damage that happened to her was done.

Her mind was set.

My sister Emily, who’s 14 now, was the defiant one. Her and my mom kept stepping on each other’s feet. When Emily was about 10 years old, my mom started getting really upset with her, and it would occasionally end in a physical fight. There was a time or two when my mom would jump on my sister, attack her, and beat her.

There was a microwave in my room. My mom has taken my sister’s head, put it inside, and slammed the door on her head 10 times in a row.

When I was 17 and Emily was 11, my dad hadn’t been home in about three weeks. He wouldn’t come home except for an hour every three or so days because my mom was hostile and aggressive whenever he was around. You could see the aggression in her eyes, so my dad started spending the night at other people’s houses, working from there instead.

This was an ongoing issue with my parents. They never got along, even before they got married. They’ve always had issues. During the two or three years leading up to this, I had really bad depression. I

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//Q&A

never got diagnosed, but I felt down during the winter, and there were a few times when I considered taking bad actions because I was just tired of it. But my dad was my best friend—my only friend—and so I knew I couldn’t leave him by himself.

My dad talked about planning to get a house for him, my sister, and I, and then eventually the two younger ones. He was going to start the divorce process once that situation started. He had the house picked out but wasn’t fully prepared to move in. Then, on the Sunday after Thanksgiving break of my junior year, my little sister was returning from our grandmother’s house. I was at home and feeling pretty down—I just didn’t feel like dealing with anything. When my dad called to say that he was bringing Emily home, my mom said, “Don’t you dare. I don’t want to deal with her. I’m not in the mood.”

My mom would go on tangents some days, when she would spend up to four hours in the bathroom bathing. She wouldn’t be around us the entire day: She’d wake up between 2 and 4 p.m. then go to sleep around 6 a.m. We really didn’t interact with her. This happened over that Thanksgiving break. She was upset about something not being clean—a dirty zone, where she would spray an entire can of Lysol and tell you not to walk near it for four hours.

When Emily came home, my mom was more aggressive than I’ve ever seen. It was the kind of aggression that a dog has when it’s ready to attack. My sister came in crying. She didn’t want to be there at all.

I was already on guard because I didn’t want my sister to get beaten by my mom, so I had a knife in my pocket. I was standing next to my sister. When my mom walked up to us, I pulled the knife on her and said, “Get away from me and my sister.”

She started screaming at me and said we had five minutes to get our things and get out of the house before she called the police and got me arrested. Emily and I packed up our school bags while our two younger siblings cried and asked to go with us, but we couldn’t take them. Emily and I sat in our cul-de-sac and went door-to-door asking if we could spend the night at people’s places, but it didn’t work out. We called my dad, and he was upset. “Why’d you have to do this now? I’m so close to having everything situated.” I told him there was no other choice.

Emily and I spent the night in a hotel, went to school the next morning, and moved into our new house the following night.

It took two years for my parents to get a divorce after that. My mom fought for custody of the two younger ones and Emily. She always wanted to communicate with Emily and me. I tried to communicate, but it was too much. Emily wanted nothing to do with her.

Now my dad has full custody of all four kids. My sister and I have no contact with my mother at all, and my dad is actually going to get married here in the summertime.

My life is pretty reasonable now. My family is doing well. My dad and my stepmom are getting married soon. My brothers and sisters have their issues, but they’re experiencing adolescence, so that’s understandable.

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But I still have trust issues. I’m not as bad as I used to be, but they still affect me here and there. I definitely have a temper. If you know me, you probably wouldn’t be able to guess it, but that’s because I’ve learned to dial it down.

Those things still linger with me, and I have to keep them in check all the time. Something can easily set me off, and old habits can return quickly, but I just have to calm myself down.

I try to be empathetic. I actually feel horrible for my mom, knowing her first and second children will probably never want to speak to her again. That’s tough. I want to be a parent one day, so thinking about that sometimes makes me feel like I should be ashamed. How dare I take that away from her?

But I have to do what’s best for me. That’s how this started—I had to do what was best for me and my little sister. Sometimes I wonder if I should just call my mom, but she is one of those people I don’t believe will ever change.

There’s something missing when you don’t have your biological mom. It really gets to you. I experience that every day, but otherwise, I’m doing pretty well.

LAURA O’HARA Laura O’Hara is an associate professor of communication studies at Ball State.

This story starts in the 1980s, when I was a decorator for Sears. Back then, they were the number-one retailer in the world. I lived in St. Joseph, Missouri, where we had a decorating studio, and I had a pretty lucrative gig. I did quite well as a very young professional.

Then, in the mid-80s, a couple of things happened. A lot of Sears employees at the time had basically made careers out of their jobs: These were long-term positions with 401K benefits, which gave employees a nice life. But Sears made a giant policy change that I think was a sign of the times, putting the employees on minimum wage plus commission sales. That was no big deal for me, since my commission sales far exceeded what even a good wage would be in the store. But some of the people had been making about $15 an hour working a cash register, and they were all of a sudden being told, “You’re gonna be treated pretty poorly.”

I walked into the breakroom, and there was this woman. Her name was Phyllis, and she was smoking a cigarette—this could happen back in those days—and she was crying. She was crying because she had just been told this news, and so I was afraid. I hadn’t finished my undergraduate degree at the time, so that really shook me up. I thought, “Oh my gosh, this job that I thought I was gonna be doing all of my days… If stuff like this is coming down, this is sort of a

harbinger of what’s to come.” That scared me. I was also married at the time, and even though I made good money at this job, I didn’t particularly enjoy it. It was a lot of stress and pressure.

So after seeing Phyllis, I spoke to my mom about the idea of me going back to school. She replied with probably the wisest thing anyone has ever said to me. “Laura, why don’t you go back to school one class at a time,” she said. “You can work toward your degree that way.” I told her I’d be 50 by the time I finished school, but she said, “You’re gonna be 50 anyway. You might as well have that degree.” That really resonated with me.

So I started going back to school, one class at a time. I was probably a junior, so I still had a lot to do, especially if you consider taking just one class a semester. But I started. I had been doing that for two or three years when something else happened that didn’t seem fortunate at the time. I think we call those “blessings in disguise.”

I found out that my husband did not want to be married anymore.

Again, my mom, wise woman that she is, said, “Laura, this could be your golden opportunity. I don’t want to make light of your marriage. I want to let you grieve, but what if you were to go back to Missouri Western full-time, go part-time at Sears, sell your house, and move in with dad and me to have free rent for that year.

You can finish your school.”

It was like the sky opened, and the sun shone. I just saw this brass ring and said, “Oh my God, I could have this degree.”

And so, that’s what happened. I went back and was a very good student. I was about 28 or 29 by then, so I took school seriously and didn’t do a lot of stuff that the traditional students do. I was in it to win it.

In the theatre and communication studies combined department, there was a very good faculty member named Diane Gorcyca. I had lunch with her a lot. We were talking about the idea that with a theatre degree, I would probably have to teach high school, but I didn’t understand that that meant going two more years to get certified. She told me that, saying, “Well, Laura, with your master’s degree, you can teach college kids.” I signed up.

Because it was a speech-theatre department, I had a hand in both of those worlds, so I decided to go with communication studies instead of theatre for my master's. Diane helped me get into graduate school, and during this time, she began telling me about what a Ph.D. was. In my mind, I could never achieve something like that. A Ph.D. was for these smart people who weren’t me. But Diane told me, “No, you are that kind of smart, and you can do this.”

She explained the structure of universities and how people with Ph.D.s get a tenure—which I had never heard of. It was a much more secure job, with generally higher pay. And so I was like, “I’m in for that.”

In that time of going back to school, probably in the first two or three months, Diane had told me all of that. The plan was in place, and five years later, I had my Ph.D.

TREY MOSES Trey Moses is a senior child development major at Ball State.

Zach Hollywood, who played on Ball State’s basketball team, died by suicide in August 2017. His friend and teammate, Trey Moses, shares his experience with Hollywood’s death.

It was August 21, my birthday, so I had my teammates and good friends over to celebrate. It was around 12:45 a.m., and I remember Zach Hollywood specifically saying, “Bye, I love you.”

I didn’t think much of it. He had been the happiest I’d ever seen him. I knew what he had dealt with before, but it finally looked like things were going in the right direction for him.

At around 4 a.m., he had called me four times and left two voicemails. I was asleep because I had class the next morning, but I woke up to them. I was texting and calling him, but he hadn’t picked up or texted me back. I was too scared to listen to the voicemails. I was trying not to think too much of it.

I saw his roommate, Kyle, on campus the next day and asked him to take me over there to check on Zach. I walked into his room, and there he was.

“He fucking shot himself,” I said to Kyle. That was the first thing that came out of my mouth. I just remember thinking, “What do we do?”

I immediately called the police. I don’t know if Kyle looked or not, but I remember him sitting on their couch with his face in his hands.

Over the phone, the police asked what happened. I said Zach shot himself, and they asked me to check his pulse. I knew that he wasn’t alive anymore, but I had to be the one to confirm. It was tough.

The police eventually came, and we had to go through about 45 minutes of them asking us questions. They took us to the police station and interviewed me, Kyle, and Zach’s other roommate.

It was one of those things that just changes you. I remember that day, we had a team meeting. When we walked in, everyone was just talking to each other. They were all really upset. We had a group hug in the middle of the room for 10 minutes. We had never experienced that before. It sucks that a tragedy had to bring us closer together.

We’re not perfect by any means, but we all care for one another.

I have always been a person who stands up for those who deal with mental health issues, who loves to love people and be there for people.

I try not to ever let my friends or family go a day without telling them I love them because you never know what could happen. This is probably the worst type of death you can go through, but there are other ways—cancer, car wrecks—other things you can never predict.

I make sure that my teammates, family, and friends know that at the end of the day, no matter what we go through, I love them.

13

AMORO(US) As more people are entering into non-traditional relationships, the definition of what makes a couple has changed.

K

story: sam nower | illustration: lydia olsen

aleb Fair and Jess Zint say they don’t really have dates. They have adventures. As they sit together on the couch of the home they share in Evansville, they remember one of their expeditions.

“Most recently we—” Kaleb starts.

“We went across the Ohio River!” they say at the same time, then break down laughing as the memory hits them.

“We went across the Ohio in inner tubes while my best friend Austin pulled us across in a kayak,” Kaleb explains. Jess is still giggling in the background. They both say their dating life is impulsive: Every day is something new.

Kaleb and Jess have been together for about 10 months. There used to be three people in their relationship, but as of right now, there are two.

That doesn’t mean they’re not still polyamorous, though.

“I think if someone were to happen along that fit with us, yeah, we would totally be open to that,” Kaleb says.

Polyamory is a form of “consensual non-monogamy.” This means all partners can engage in romantic and/ or sexual relationships with others, while all parties consent. Though not much research has been conducted on the subject, many scientists estimate approximately 5 percent of people in the U.S. are consensual non-monogamists.

Other relationships that fall under the

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consensual non-monogamy umbrella are open relationships and swinging.

However, polyamory is slightly different from these types of relationships because more commitment is involved. Whereas many open relationships contain one couple who chooses to have either one night stands or purely sexual encounters with partners outside the relationship, many polyamorous couples focus on having both romantic and sexual connections with all their partners.

Polyamory can take on a variety of forms and dynamics. In some cases, an established couple can add another partner to their relationship. In others, each member of the couple has his or her own outside partner. There can be main relationships and secondary relationships, or every partner can be equal.

Jess and Kaleb’s story started when they began talking through Instagram.

Jess, who prefers gender-neutral pronouns, and their then-boyfriend, Richard, had talked about being polyamorous. Richard expressed interest in dating Kaleb, whom he knew previously. Jess and Richard had promised each other they would both meet and get to know any partner the other was interested in, so Jess and Kaleb began to message online.

As they continued to talk, they realized they had a special connection.

Kaleb hadn’t been in too many relationships before, and had never been in a polyamorous relationship, but he was shocked at how easy it was to be with both Jess and Richard.

“I felt fully comfortable almost immediately,” he says.

Joanne Davila, a Stony Brook University professor who specializes in romantic relationships, says monogamy isn’t right for everybody.

She advises people who are nonmonogamous or are considering nonmonogamy to find a partner willing to meet their needs. Davila’s thoughts about monogamy reflect a growing national trend when it comes to nontraditional relationships. Now more than ever, more people are choosing to enter into non-traditional romantic relationships. For example, a study

by Pew Research found more people are choosing to remarry. In 2013, 23 percent of people in marriages had been married before, up from 13 percent in 1960. Cohabitation, or living together without being married, has also grown.

Eighteen million people are cohabiting as of 2016, which is an increase of 4 million since 2007. In 2015, gay marriage became legal in all 50 states, and the number of gay marriages has greatly increased. Before the ruling, about 38 percent of all LGBTQ couples who were cohabiting were married. After the ruling, the number climbed to 61 percent.

COLUMN//

Through researching all types of relationships, Davila has developed a strategy for what she calls romantic competency. To achieve romantic competency, each partner in a relationship needs to have three skills: insight, mutuality, and emotion regulation.

Insight allows a person in a relationship to look within and better understand themselves. Once they are aware of how they function within relationships, they can also understand their partners. When couples understand both their own and their partner’s tendencies and behaviors, they can use mutuality to help negotiate issues. This involves examining both partners’ needs and compromising accordingly.

If conflicts do arise, they can use emotion regulation: the ability to see the bigger picture and to manage their emotions in the moment.

Jamie Pereira, a counselor in Muncie who specializes in relationship issues, agrees making your partner aware of your thoughts and feelings is the most important thing in any relationship. Pereira says there are two types of people in relationships: pursuers and withdrawers. There can be two pursuers in a couple, two withdrawers, or one of each, she explains. When a conflict arises, withdrawers will shut off their emotions, appearing to not care about the other even if they really do. Pursuers, in contrast, will often put up a fight, frustrated that their needs aren't being met. When Pereira counsels a couple, she helps them learn how they individually deal with conflict, then works with

them to become more effective communicators.

Both Jess and Kaleb agree communication and being clear about your wants and needs is crucial in any relationship. For Jess, not communicating is something that affected them in past relationships.

Jess was in a polyamorous relationship before, between them, their girlfriend, and their boyfriend.

That all changed when their boyfriend didn’t communicate with Jess, cheating on them with their other partner. Cheating can happen in polyamorous relationships, Jess explains, when one partner crosses the boundaries laid down by all partners without being honest.

LIKE THAT MOMENT WHERE YOU WORK REALLY HARD TO MAKE A PERFECT PAPER AIRPLANE, AND THEN IT FLIES PERFECTLY

JESS ZINT

Davila says betrayal is one of the worst things someone can do in a relationship. Cheating is a form of betrayal, Davila says, but it’s not the only way someone can betray their partner. Anything that compromises your significant other’s feeling of safety in the relationship is damaging, she says.

After experiencing betrayal, Jess didn’t try again for a while when it came to polyamory. But when they started dating Richard, the polyamory conversation came up again, and Kaleb entered the relationship.

Things were different with Kaleb.

Even though Jess was going to school full-time and working two jobs, they spent every spare moment

they could with Kaleb, just wanting to know him better. Richard had somewhat of a problem with this, Jess explains, because he thought everyone in the relationship should be spending an equal amount of time with one another.

They broke up—Jess and Richard—but not Jess and Kaleb.

They’re in love. What does that feel like?

“Warm,” Kaleb says.

“So comforting,” Jess chimes in.

“Smiley,” Kaleb again.

“Like that moment where you work really hard to make a perfect paper airplane, and then it flies perfectly,” Jess says, then adds, “Capture the beauty and slowness and just pride you have in that situation. Imagine that toward a person.”

Watching people fall back in love with each other is one of Pereira’s favorite parts about couples’ therapy.

“It’s like watching a love story in real life,” she says. “One of those movies where they’re arguing and bickering and you’re like ‘just get together already!’ You know they both love each other, and to watch it happen in the room is amazing.”

Kaleb and Jess are in love, but that doesn't mean everyone loves their relationship. They sometimes get weird looks in public, but the worst of the judgement comes from social media. Jess remembers a time when they posted a photo on Instagram of Richard, Kaleb, and them. After the photo went up, some of their

15

//COLUMN

followers made a group chat on Instagram specifically to talk about Kaleb, Jess, and Richard’s relationship. They both found out about it from some of their friends.

Kaleb and Jess don’t fit the mold of a “traditional couple,” a term that arose in Western society to mean the marriage of one man and one woman. One of the biggest arguments against marriage equality when it became legal in the U.S. in 2015 was that allowing gay people to get married would ruin the definition of marriage, and thus ruin the idea of the traditional relationship.

However, marriage hasn’t always had the same definition. According to a lecture from American Enterprise Institute, in the past, couples often married for status and power rather than love. Marrying someone for love only became common during the Enlightenment.

With this movement, people were encouraged to be free thinkers, which led to more men choosing who they wanted to marry. Then, when the Industrial Revolution started, giving many middle-class men more money to pay for their own weddings, marrying for love became the accepted practice in Western society.

Jess thinks the idea of a traditional couple is misguided. In ancient times, Jess says, polygamy was accepted.

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A paper by Walter Scheidel of Stanford University acknowledges many societies in which polygamy was accepted. Ancient Greece, for example, allowed men to have concubines, or women outside of their marriage. In Ancient Egypt, rulers and high-class male citizens could have “harems,” or a place in their houses for their concubines, wives, and female servants to live.

Polygamy, however, is different from polyamory, Jess is careful to note. Polygamy is often associated with religion, and often only allows men to have multiple partners.

Polyamory is more secular. It doesn’t have any rules limiting the genders of partners involved.

Davila believes constraining couples to one ideal can lead to betrayal. She says some people who might not be suited for monogamous relationships enter them anyway, then might end up cheating on their partners. She advises individuals to be open-minded when it comes to what type of relationships are right for them. If someone doesn’t want to be monogamous, she says, they need to recognize this and search for a partner who has the same ideals.

Jess also interprets the traditional couple ideal through the eyes of capitalism. According to them, capitalism enforced the idea of the man as the money-maker and the woman as the caretaker of the home.

In the Middle Ages, the family unit had its own economy, in a way. According to an article from the Foundation for Economic Education, the division of labor between men, women, and children was equal, and everyone did their part to make money for the family.

Western society was mostly based on agriculture, so all family members worked the fields to earn a living.

But when the economy shifted away from agriculture and toward factories, men began to make enough money outside the home to support the entire family. Women and children no longer needed to work to survive. This meant men could go to work, and women could care for the children, who could now more easily go to school. These types of gender roles are what many people refer to when speaking of the traditional couple.

The family unit became less about necessity and more about happiness, so it made sense that not everyone would need to have the “traditional family.” Even though capitalism was part of what first drove families into traditional roles, it was also part of what drove them away. As capitalism changed, so did the family.

Jess and Kaleb know things change all the time, and relationships are no exception. “Soon as you resist change, you resist the nature of your own being,” Jess says.

Kaleb agrees. “You have to change together.”

Kaleb and Jess have been through many changes. From dating two people, to dating each other, to falling in love, to going on daily adventures. They change together every day, and they want people to know that changing is okay when it comes to romantic relationships.

“Don’t limit yourself,” Kaleb says.

They never have.

BALL BEARINGS is Ball State University’s nationally award-winning, student-run magazine. We’re a team of writers, designers, photographers, videographers, and social media specialists who work to create one print magazine per semester, along with multiple stories on our website, ballbearingsmag.com. We welcome everyone to the Ball Bearings staff, no matter what year you are in school or what your major is. Come see us in the UML in the Arts and Journalism Building, and find out how you can join our team!

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By Taylor Hohn

“How a Campus Survives a Century”

By Samantha Kupiainen

“What’s Left Behind”

By Brynn Mechem

IT’S GETTING HOT IN HERE

photo: sammy skelton

Despite some individual efforts to protect the Earth, the politicization of environmental issues can slow down real progress. story: taylor hohn

I

t was the kind of perfect weather you had to be happy about. It was warm and breezy in San Francisco, and I stood on the Embarcadero waiting for the old streetcar to stop and pick me up. On a clear day like this, I could look past the cars on the street and the pier, all the way across the San Francisco Bay to Berkeley.

Interrupting the moment, I got a text that immediately sent me into a panic. My stepmother told me that a fire had started on a hill less than a mile from our house. The residents of the neighborhood nearby were ordered to evacuate.

Fires like this one are a somewhat normal occurrence in northern California. During the 10 weeks I spent there for an internship in the summer of 2018, the sun was often clouded by smoke, sometimes causing a cough or a full-blown cold. These neighborhood infernos can quickly grow from a Friday night inconvenience to a complete catastrophe.

I grew up in rural Illinois, the home of spring thunderstorms and tornadoes. The occasional rotating funnel clouds of debris didn’t bother me much, though.

They’re fairly predictable for natural disasters and usually don’t do much damage.

My dad and stepmother moved to the California Bay Area in 2017. When I visited them over spring break, they briefed me on their earthquake emergency plan: Stop what you’re doing, and meet at home. I never got a fire emergency plan. Was I still supposed to go home?

Would there even be a home to go back to?

My parents, true Midwesterners deep down, didn’t have much experience with wildfires, either. My dad ran around the house grabbing loose cash. They didn’t have emergency bags prepared in case of an evacuation.

Pre-fire, my stepmother and I had planned to go shopping. She and my dad were flying to Illinois for the Fourth of July, and she needed to grab a few more things.

At her request, I continued the afternoon as planned and took the train home. During the ride, I wondered if the other passengers knew we were heading toward a fire.

I wondered if any of them were racing home to ashes.

And if they did know, did they care? Was the news of a wildfire something you ignore until it’s a mile from your cul-de-sac?

Out the window, I could see a section of Mount Diablo painted red from flame retardant. A helicopter with a hose hanging out the side passed overhead. I discreetly snapped some pictures through the smokestained window, trying not to let on that this was my first California wildfire.

According to Cal Fire, wildfires have burned across more than 620,000 acres in California this year, compared to 311,000 acres during the same timespan last year.

“It is the changing climate that is leading to more severe and destructive fires,” said Scott McLean, deputy chief of Cal Fire, in a statement.

19

THE PROBLEM WITH POLITICS In late 2015, leaders of more than 190 countries made their way to Paris for the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change. Out of this meeting came the Paris Agreement, a document signed by 175 countries promising to lower greenhouse gas emissions and increase sustainability. This agreement, the first of its kind, bound countries to behaviors that would hopefully reverse the impacts of climate change. Or would it?

Former President Barack Obama officially adopted the agreement in September 2016 by signing an executive order. By doing this, he bypassed the Senate approval needed for treaty signing. When President Donald Trump announced the United States would abandon the Paris Agreement in June 2018, experts debated whether or not we actually could “leave.” Since we didn’t join by traditional standards, we might not have ever technically been a part.

Regardless, many countries have been urging the U.S. to rejoin the pact. In September, representatives from 18 Pacific Island nations met, trying to convince the U.S. to return.

If the goal is to reduce worldwide greenhouse gas emissions, the U.S. would have to comply. The U.S. is the second-greatest emitter behind China, which released more than a quarter of all greenhouse gases in 2013.

Overwhelming scientific evidence points to the warming of the planet, but the politicization of the issue slows any action in the U.S. Jeffrey Dukes, director of the Purdue Climate Change Research Center (PCCRC), believes the political stigma now tied to climate change

makes it harder to address.

“Climate change became political, making it difficult to have a rational conversation,” Dukes says. “It’s not a science problem. It’s not really an economic issue. It’s politics.”

WASTE NOT, WANT NOT In 2015, Polly Barks decided to live waste-free. A blogger located in Indianapolis, she says there were lots of reasons she wanted to make a change—large amounts of littered trash and food deserts were big ones.

“Coming face-to-face with the trash build-up that happens in low-income communities made me realize trash didn’t ‘go away,’” Polly says. “It just goes away from us privileged enough to be able to avoid the problem.”

Polly’s decision to live zero waste, though very personal, had a positive impact on the environment. By cutting out the use of plastics, Polly would reduce the number of microplastics in the Indianapolis area soil and water.

By replacing disposable day-to-day items, such as straws or utensils, she would decrease the chance of that waste ending up somewhere harmful. And these changes weren’t just good for the environment—switching household or beauty products proved healthier for her, too.

In 2017, Polly started Green Indy, a blog for advice on living zero waste. While Polly’s tips are helpful to anyone hoping to make a change in any state, Polly does believe that living zero waste can be more difficult in Indiana than in other places.

“Indiana is not environmentally friendly at a

GROWING FROM GUILT Sarah Fredericks, an assistant professor of environmental ethics at the University of Chicago Divinity School, started studying guilt and shame tied to the environment through the lens of religious studies. She found communities online in which people shared the ways they had done Mother Earth wrong— like littering, for example—and how it made them feel. Fredericks found that these occasional feelings of guilt could turn into full-blown shame, believing

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one’s actions are a reflection of their own character. And while guilt and shame can be normal and healthy to an extent, too much can be destructive.

Polly addresses feelings of environmental guilt in her blog posts. It’s easy to feel upset about the state of the climate, but there are still many ways the average person can make a change. Here are 10 of Polly’s favorite low-cost ways to help the planet.

Freeze vegetable scraps to cook later.

Use a reusable mug in coffee shops.

Bring lunch to class or work instead of buying it.

governmental level,” Polly says, “so making big changes is really hard. Cultural and institutional apathy for environmental issues is hard to overcome.”

Still, Polly says individuals can work to reduce their own waste. Personal choices, such as reusing grocery bags or bringing a travel mug to coffee shops, can be made in any political climate.

HITTING HOME When people think of climate change, they think of polar bears. Melting glaciers. Rising sea levels. Melissa Widhalm, the operations manager of the PCCRC, wants people to think of things they love from where they live. The Indy 500. The Indiana State Fair. Softball in the summer. These are the things climate change would affect in Indiana.

It’s difficult to picture what climate change would do in the Midwest—­or, more realistically, what it has already done. Researchers at the PCCRC found that Indiana has already experienced warming. In addition, the growing season has lengthened and precipitation has increased, primarily from heavier downpours.

While these changes don’t seem as dramatic or theatrical as wildfires or disappearing ice caps, they’re still detrimental to people, agriculture, and ecosystems in the state.

Take the Cisco fish, for example. This coldwater species used to live in 50 lakes in Indiana, but now can only be found in about five. A slight rise in temperature was enough to reduce the population size. Rising water

temperatures and an increase in algal growth will most likely kill off all the Cisco in the state, Dukes says.

This heat won’t stop at destroying native species.

Experts at PCCRC anticipate new mosquitoes and ticks will move further north, likely carrying diseases. This public health issue could be a reality with only a one or two degree increase in temperature.

If you ask Dukes or Widhalm, or just about any other scientist studying the effects of climate change, this is a situation that requires action now. In October, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) released a report that the world will rise in temperature by 1.5 degrees Celsius (or 34.7 degrees Fahrenheit) between 2030 and 2052. This seemingly small change will cause more intense storms, decrease our wheat and corn crop yield, and raise sea levels by 40 centimeters by the end of the century. Fixing this problem would require widespread changes in institutions, governments, and economies all over the world.

Experts agree that these big-picture changes need to be made to truly slow or stop climate change. Investing in clean energy and restructuring corporations for sustainability are some of the goals. But first, people need to have conversations about these changes.

“This makes me feel awful. This is scary,” Widhalm says about PCCRC’s climate findings. “Hope gets lost. But these are solvable problems.”

And in the meantime? “Use your voice. Vote. It might not make you feel good, like turning off that light,” Widhalm says. “Always remind yourself that it can be solved. Everyone wants to do the right thing—it just needs to be discussed.”

illustrations: annelise hanshaw

Make your own deodorant.

Ride a bike or walk instead of driving.

Buy second-hand Use reusable cloth or thrifted clothing. bags when grocery shopping.

Switch light bulbs to LED when they burn out.

Replace paper towels with cloth ones.

Avoid junk mail by putting your name on a "do not send" list.

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Through years of study and reflection, Timothy Berg found the religion that speaks his language. story: samantha kupiainen

T

imothy Berg describes his 15-year-old self as the oddball kid who prefered to read alone in his room. His books of choice were often about religions and philosophical practices: Islam, Buddhism, Christianity, and Judaism.

He’d received the books from his dad, who had owned them in the 1960s.

The current associate teaching professor of honors humanities at Ball State University was a confirmed Methodist at the time. His mother identified as a Southern Baptist, while his father was Catholic. Neither one was particularly fervent with their religious practices. As a compromise, Timothy and his brothers were raised Methodist, but he and his family attended church irregularly throughout his childhood.

Timothy’s parents persuaded him to get confirmed when he was 13 years old. It was his mother that really wanted it, so he complied with her wishes. He didn’t necessarily identify with the faith’s beliefs, but rather than fight it, he just went along.

As Timothy advanced to middle school, he began pondering the meaning of life and asking big questions.

“Why are we here? Where do we come from?” asked Timothy. “There are different ways of approaching the question.”

He thought Christianity’s answers to those questions were too rigid. He wanted something more flexible.

At this point, he’d only attended church to please his mother, who he says had a mindset of, I need to get the boys to church, or else they won’t be raised right. He found Methodism to be strict in its interpretation and religious practices. It was too structured. He craved a religion that was open to everyone and could see constant transformation.

photo: pexels

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Buddhists traditionally pray and meditate. Timothy doesn't follow all Buddhist practices, but he feels his beliefs mostly align. photo illustration: stephanie amador

IT WAS A FEELING OF BELONGING AND BEING AT HOME. A COMING HOME.

TIMOTHY BERG

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Timothy looked to different sources for the answers, such as the religion books he pored over as a teenager and the various religious services he attended. Some of the topics he read about spoke to him, while others didn’t.

Out of all the religions he studied, Buddhism resonated with Timothy the most.

He realized its vocabulary aligned with his and, for the most part, answered the big questions he had been asking. He was drawn to Buddhism’s openness. He felt at home. He didn’t like being told what to do, and he felt that Buddhism allowed him to interpret the faith how he wanted.

According to Pew Research, 44 percent of Americans will change from one faith to another by adulthood. Many people make the switch because they are disenchanted with their current religions, often either for marriage purposes or because they come to disagree with certain religious practices. Rachel Kraus, a professor of sociology at Ball State, says some people change religions when they begin to discover their own identities and realize their religions don’t mesh with who they are or what they want in life.

For Timothy, changing religions was a gradual process involving research, time, and exploration.

At 12 years old, he occasionally attended his church’s youth group, a time for middle school and high school students to engage with other youth at their place of worship or in the community.

He fought it, but his mother wanted him to be involved in the church, to be “raised right.” So Timothy went, even though he felt like an outsider.

“I felt forced to believe in something when I didn’t believe it,” he says.

So, he explored other options. It was in the religion books he read as a 15-year-old that he first connected with the Buddhist faith.

“It was a feeling of belonging and being at home,” Timothy says. “A coming home.”

example, like Buddhists, Timothy often finds a connection with the divine through nature.

“We are just another natural thing that occurs,” he says.

“We have our time in this form, then we go away in this form to do something else.”

Timothy’s wife and children don’t follow the Buddhist faith, and he doesn’t force his daughters to believe in any religion.

“They will come to those questions when they’re ready,” says Timothy, in relation to the things he asked himself as a teen.

Religion is more of a private exploration for Timothy, and he has been known to attend various services alone.

For example, he first visited a Buddhist temple in Indianapolis by himself, and that was the only time he visited. He recalls not enjoying the formal rituals, which gave him a “cold feeling.” They did more than 300 bowing prostrations—knees, then chest to the floor. He was sore the next day.

He has also gone solo to a temple and a mosque in India, as well as a Catholic church in Europe.

Timothy thinks it’s highly unlikely he’ll change religions again. He feels in alignment with himself through Buddhism and has found a permanent home in the faith.

photo: pexels

For him, religion is something he prefers to do alone.

He feels connected with the divine by listening to music or being at an art museum. But he’s not a “card-carrying” Buddhist. Rather, he practices it irregularly. He doesn’t have a shrine or anything in his office, nor does he do the five prayers a day or meditate. He doesn’t practice Buddhist traditions or even personally identify much with the culture. Instead, he appreciates and agrees with its philosophies.

“Its ideas are accurate in the way I believe life to be,” says Timothy. “It doesn’t make any supernatural claims that ask me to believe something I don’t think is true.”

One piece of evidence of his religious affiliation is a Buddha statue that sits in his office, on a shelf filled with various books and knick knacks. It’s the only one he owns, and it’s mostly for decoration. It was a gift from his host in Kathmandu on a trip he took to Nepal.

He might not own much traditional Buddhist decor, but Timothy reads Buddhist literature. He knows its words and understands them. How often he reads all depends on what season of life he’s in.

Compared to other religions, Timothy found Buddhism to have the right vocabulary for him. It had the right words to explain why we are here and how to live properly. For

25

The 2017 Women's March brought crowds to Washington D.C., filling the main route and side streets. photo: creative commons

Everyone wants to change the world in some way.

But here’s what it takes to actually make a difference. story: taylor meyers

OUR MESSAGE TODAY SPEAKS VOLUMES. IT SPEAKS TO THE GOVERNMENT. IT SPEAKS TO THE PEOPLE. AND IT SPEAKS TO THE WHOLE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

BRANDON WARREN

W

hile social change is driven by a variety of cultural forces, what really makes change happen is people.

It’s normal, everyday humans, says Sara Collas, a sociology professor at Ball State University.

These movements are pushed forward by what sociologists call collective identity, or the feeling of belonging to a group. A study by Columbia University outlines how collective identity makes people “mobilize.”

Collas says oppressed groups often come together to form organizations, politicizing themselves in an effort to change society.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 21, 2017 Anita Teekah marched in a sea of people wearing her Amnesty International T-shirt. She blended into the crowd of marchers that flooded the parade route, which started on 3rd Street and Independence Avenue, in Washington D.C. The parade route was full immediately, Anita says, so the people spilled into the side streets. It was cold, but the crowd and the marching kept her warm. She wore only a light jacket over her shirt, standing out from the masses of people bundled up in thick coats, pink scarves, and beanies. They chanted songs of empowerment into the sky. Banners and signs echoed the voices: “BUILD A WALL… AROUND TRUMP” and “WOMEN

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ARE PEOPLE” and “SISTERS STRONGER TOGETHER.” It was a lot of noise, but Anita felt at home.

For many people in that crowd, the 2017 Women’s March was a direct reply to the moment Donald Trump was announced the 45th president. And this was the first full day of his presidency.

Anita has been advocating for human rights since her high school days in the early 2000s. She helped write letters to New Jersey government agencies as part of Amnesty’s efforts to get a moratorium for the state’s death penalty, which was later abolished in 2007. The University of Oregon defines Amnesty as the world’s largest human rights organization.

In law school, Anita focused on human and constitutional rights. She knew then that she wanted to be a human rights attorney.

Upon graduating law school, she got in contact with a local Amnesty women’s rights group in 2011. She eventually became a co-organizer for the New York chapter of Young Professionals Amnesty International.

This led to her current role as New York legislative coordinator, which means she is the liaison between Amnesty activists and their elected officials.

The night after the 2016 election, Anita received a message from a high school friend who knew about Anita’s background in advocacy.

I can’t afford to just follow politics anymore, her friend said. The stakes are too high. I have to do something.

Well, Anita told her, you can join an Amnesty

Emma González speaks to a rally after a shooter entered her school in Parkland. The crowd holds up peace signs in agreement. photo: creative commons

International chapter.

When the friends heard about the planned Women’s March in D.C., they decided that was exactly what they needed.

The night before the march, Anita and her friend drove to Baltimore from New Jersey. Staying in Baltimore was easier than trying to find a place in D.C., where every Airbnb had been taken, and the traffic was bumper to bumper.

Around 7 a.m., the two took an Uber to the Baltimore train station. It was an hour before the first train would leave for D.C., but the line of people already wrapped around the block. Anita says chants filled the cold morning air as individuals of multiple genders, races, and ethnic backgrounds waited to board the train and head out to march for women’s and humans’ rights.

Anita knew one thing for sure: If they stayed and waited their turn on the train, they would miss half the march.

They decided to take an Uber once again—a $70 ride to the Amnesty office, which was one of the many human rights groups there that day.

The Amnesty representatives handed Anita and her friend their banners, T-shirts, and hats, and they marched out with one of the four Amnesty groups.

The original parade route had already reached capacity and was now closed off to people still arriving. Anita wasn’t able to march the actual route, but the police let them walk through side streets and all through D.C. Almost every part of D.C. was filled with

marchers that Saturday.

The organizers had underestimated how many people would show up. But from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., they marched and chanted and held their banners high in a fight for their voices to be heard.

The event attracted 470,000 participants, and it made Anita believe change can happen.

SATURDAY, MARCH 24, 2018 Outside the Indiana Statehouse, the snow fell hard, and the air nipped at the faces of the March For Our Lives advocates. They filed into the Statehouse, where Brandon Warren, founder of the peace advocacy group We LIVE (Linked to Intercept Violence Everywhere), was speaking about gun violence.

He wore a white T-shirt with orange lettering: “MARCH FOR OUR LIVES.” This movement started after the high school shooting in Parkland, Florida, but Brandon’s fight for peace began on May 23, 2017, when his friend Dijon Anderson died from a gun wound.

On a night earlier that month, Brandon’s bedroom was dark and quiet until his phone lit up next to his pillow.

Shooting on westside leaves one dead and two injured.

But he ignored the notification, thinking it couldn’t be anyone he knew.

The next morning, his sister came to him.

Dijon was gunned down on the westside last night.

Brandon fell to his bed.

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event. The group marched in the side streets around their high school. But it wasn’t enough for Brandon. He wanted the message to be spread citywide.

Brandon started lobbying to as many people as he could.

He Googled politicians and leaders in Indianapolis, sending them emails and making phone calls to their offices. He eventually got in contact with the mayor’s office and started creating social media pages for We LIVE. Collas says social media has played a major role in modern social movements.

“Usually social movements have a catchy slogan, or images often serve as important symbols,” Collas says.

“One of the goals in social movements is to create awareness and visibility for the cause. Technology helps spread the words and spread the message.”

The Parkland school shooting led to the March For Our Lives Movement across the United States. The actions Brandon had taken against gun and youth violence had gotten him noticed, and he was asked to host the Indianapolis rally where students and families affected by gun violence spoke up about their stories.

“PROTECT KIDS, NOT GUNS” and “THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE NOT ENOUGH” echoed through the Statehouse.

A choir sang a freedom song before Brandon stepped on stage.

photo: stephanie amador

Brandon had played football with Dijon at Warren Central High School on the eastside of Indianapolis since their freshman year. He immediately checked Twitter and contacted some of their mutual friends.

Every source said the same thing to Brandon: Dijon is stable. He should be okay.

Brandon left town to Detroit for his aunt’s birthday.

He came back a few days later, and Dijon was still in a coma.

The day Dijon died was the day Brandon, now an 18-year-old pre-business major at Indiana State University, started planning for We LIVE. According to Encyclopedia Britannica, social change is often sparked by conflict, which is inevitable and often pushes a society to integrate. Social change can also occur because of ideological, economic, and political movements.

At Dijon’s funeral, Brandon noticed how his friend’s death had begun to shake the community. This, along with the knowledge of increasing shootings in the Indianapolis area, made him realize the need for a rally for peace in the community.

Still in high school at the time, Brandon gathered about 30 of his classmates and football teammates.

We need to form a peace walk, guys.

The walk took place in August, and with the help of some of Brandon’s teachers, it was made into a township

The Indy Pride Parade in downtown Indianapolis, June 9, 2018, was filled with rainbow flags and participants throwing candy.

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“Yesterday marked 10 months since I lost a dear and close peer and teammate of mine by the name of Dijon Anderson,” Brandon said, leaning on the podium. “And I can let you know right now, ever since last May, I have not stopped fighting for what we believe in.”

The crowd erupted into cheers.

“Our message today speaks volumes. It speaks to the government. It speaks to the people. And it speaks to the whole United States of America.”

Brandon’s opening speech led into a prayer from his pastor. Then, one by one, students and youth violence advocates from around Indiana stepped up to the microphone to speak directly to government officials.

Only one politician was allowed to speak—today, it was their job to listen to the community.

Just 2,000 people could fit inside the actual building, but Brandon says about 8,000 more stood outside the Statehouse, chanting and holding their banners high.

But there was pushback: Brandon says two or three antiprotestors stood outside with AR-15 rifles.

“It was a very heated time of the year,” Brandon says.

FRIDAY, JUNE 26, 2015 Cher Guevara, who identifies as nonbinary with gender-neutral pronouns, sat at a station in the factory they were working in. Their phone rested in their pocket, close enough to keep checking.

It was the last day of the Supreme Court ruling on Obergefell v. Hodges, the case that would decide whether to legalize same-sex marriage across the U.S. To say that Cher was a bit on edge would be an understatement.

At 10:02 a.m., Cher’s phone started buzzing nonstop.

Holy shit. We won!

Cher rushed to the bathroom with a grin on their face.

They checked every message and notification, the smile never leaving.

According to Pew Research, 62 percent of Americans now support same-sex marriage, up from 37 percent a decade ago.

Cher went home and popped a bottle of champagne with their brother, but the moment didn’t last long.

Hold up a sec, Cher thought, we’ve still got a lot of work to do here.

In October 2018, the Trump administration announced a desire to base gender solely on genitalia at birth. Rallies immediately erupted across the country.

“We’re ready for a fight,” Cher said. “They’re not going to take us.”

Cher’s been advocating for the LGBTQ community since 2003, during the Lawrence v. Texas case that legalized same-sex sexual activity in every state. They’ve been on the front lines, holding picket signs among

other members and allies of the community at so many marches and rallies, they’ve lost count.

In the spring of 2013, during the United States v.

Windsor case, a friend called and asked if Cher would be attending the rally in Indianapolis. Cher had been taking a break from activism for a bit, but they decided to go.

They showed up with their then-boyfriend, who was worried about getting arrested.

Calm down, Cher told him. Just enjoy yourself.

Walking through the crowd, they greeted every familiar face they saw, including activists from Terre Haute and their days in the Rocky Horror Show. A pride flag was unfurled at the Statehouse.

The rally began as crowds erupted in cheers and chants to the words of the speakers. When things died down, the organizer asked if anyone else would like to say anything.

Cher’s friends turned to look at them. Well, why not?

Cher said.

Confidently, but entirely unprepared, they walked to the front of the crowd.

We are Americans, Cher said. The American dream belongs to queer people just as much as it does to the rest of the damn country. The audience cheered.

Cher says not every protest is filled with fun memories, but that’s not why they march.

In June 2018, a Brownsburg High School teacher said the school’s transgender name policy went against his religious beliefs. He refused to call transgender students by their preferred names and pronouns.

Cher’s friends couldn’t stand for it. Let’s call in the calvary, they told Cher. The group gathered outside the school board meeting, holding their pride flags and staying silent until it was time to go in.

The room was packed shoulder to shoulder, but with a clear divide: those who agreed with the teacher and those who supported the transgender students.

A student went to the front to speak about what the teacher had done to him, describing how the teacher had degraded and humiliated him. He was almost in tears.

When he sat down, the room was silent.

But then the teacher’s supporters walked to the front, and the mood shifted.

“I have never seen people this terrifying,” Cher said.

“There were people up there screaming that we were all going to hell and that we were sick. That the state had no business recognizing us.”

Even after 15 years in the movement, Cher was shocked to see “the face of hatred that close.”

But they believe the day they’ve been fighting for isn’t far off.

To be an activist, Cher says, you need the fight, the spirit, and the will. Ultimately, though, you need hope.

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After spending time in the Delaware County Jail in her early twenties, Autumn Bray is now drug-free and sees her children at least once a week. She's working on building a better relationship with her family.

REBUILDING AFTER RELEASE

Autumn Bray was among the 2.3 million incarcerated people in America, but upon release, she was able to find the motivation to change her life in a positive way.

O

story: emily cox | photos: stephanie amador

n a summer night in 2015, Autumn Bray woke up, dazed, in her silver Malibu on the side of the road.

Bruises covered her chest, and the sticky traces of Mountain Dew covered her body. Her 2-year-old son, Liam, and 1-yearold daughter, Marleigh, were with her, along with Greg Underwood, the father of their kids, and his mother, Christina.

This was Autumn’s second heroin overdose.

The cold soda had been thrown on her to try to wake her up. The bruises were from attempts to give her CPR. Greg and Christina didn’t want to risk getting in trouble for using drugs themselves, and neither had a driver’s license. So, they tried what few options they could think of to revive her.

Autumn is just glad her kids weren’t old enough to remember.

“Honestly, I wish I just never would’ve touched it,” she says of heroin.

Autumn grew up in Muncie and met Greg on Facebook while in high school. They first met in person at a party. Before she knew it, she was sucked into the whirlwind of his fastpaced, drug-filled lifestyle.

Before Autumn’s first pregnancy in 2013, she had abused painkillers and smoked cigarettes. But when she found out she was pregnant, she quit everything. Greg was in and out of her life, partying often.

During this time, Autumn’s mother received news that the cervical cancer she had been diagnosed with in 2012 was back.

She had already gone through treatment,

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but it returned.

When Autumn’s mother died on Thanksgiving in 2014, three months after Autumn gave birth to her own daughter, she saw her father cry for the first time. She didn’t know how to cope with the death and became depressed.

Michael Brown, chairperson of the department of criminal justice and criminology at Ball State University, says those with mental health problems might not get treatment because of the stigma surrounding it, or because they don’t have health insurance. When this happens, many self-medicate.

“So now you have a very toxic cocktail,” Brown says. “You’re taking alcohol and drugs, and you’re mixing it with mental health problems. And the outcome tends to be quite negative.”

Autumn, her kids, and Greg moved in together around Christmas in 2014. A few months later, Christina, who had just gotten out of rehab for drug use, moved in with them.

“That was my spiraling down moment,” Autumn says.

Autumn thought letting Christina move in was the right thing. She and Greg would help her get back on her feet. What Autumn didn’t know was that Christina wasn’t ready to change.

“She brought heroin in one night,” Autumn says. “I was just so depressed and down with everything going on, so I tried it. It was just kind of game over after that.”

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 227,000 adults ages 18 to 25 used heroin in 2016.

The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that more than 115 people in the United States die every day from overdosing on opiods. The epidemic can be traced back to the 1990s, when pharmaceutical companies told those in the medical field that the possibility of patients becoming addicted to opioid painkillers was nothing to worry about. Due to this reassurance, more and

more prescriptions were written. Last year, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services declared that the opioid crisis was a national emergency.

Not long after moving in together, Autumn, Greg, their kids, and Christina were evicted in Muncie because they were so behind on rent.

Greg wasn’t working, Christina had disability checks that she used on drugs, and Autumn had lost her job at IHOP due to using.

Brown says addiction can impact a person’s ability to keep a job, maintain relationships, and perform day-to-day tasks.

The day Autumn woke up from the overdose in the car, the group was planning to drive back to Muncie from briefly living in Indianapolis after their eviction. For Autumn, seeing her kids in the car with her jolted her back into reality. She hates knowing that her kids, no matter how young, have seen the worst stages of her drug addiction.

She knew she had to stop using, but withdrawals were brutal, so she switched to methamphetamine. It was easily accessible— Greg and Christina were making it. When Christina got arrested again, Autumn’s father

let her, the kids, and Greg move in.

On a November night in 2015, Autumn overheard Greg on the phone with someone.

She couldn’t tell what he was planning, but it didn’t sound good. She didn’t say anything.

When he used drugs, he was sometimes abusive—he would pull her off the bed by her hair or hit her, even when she had their daughter Marleigh in her arms.

The next morning, Greg and his friends came into the house and took Autumn’s father’s gun safe and his checks to sell.

Autumn felt frozen. The men had guns, and

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her kids were with her.

Her father filed police reports, but Autumn didn’t think much of it until three months later when detectives came and took her to jail on charges of Level 6 theft. She was an accomplice, and at age 22, she spent her first stint in the Delaware County Jail.

TIME SERVED It was nighttime when Autumn arrived at jail. As she entered her cell, she was crying.

It woke up her cellmate, who asked what she was in for and comforted her until she could sleep. In the first few days of Autumn's four months in jail, she had no idea where her kids were. Those days were torture until she found out they were safe with Greg’s father and stepmother.

Autumn says the workers at the jail were nice, but the inmates stirred up trouble. At one point, she witnessed an outburst in which an inmate ripped TVs off the wall.

To pass the time, she read the Bible and James Patterson books, or she exercised.

Those were pretty much her only choices.

It was a cold winter day when Autumn was released in February 2016. As she lit a cigarette, the fog of her breath mixed with the smoke. Greg was still in jail, but she had made her mind up that when he got out, she wouldn’t speak to him. She knew she wanted to quit using drugs, but she couldn’t trust that Greg would feel the same.

Upon release, Autumn agreed to the requirement from court that she go to a rehab center. If she didn’t, she would have to stay in jail longer. She went to Wayside Mission in Muncie, now known as Urban Lighthouse.

There, she went through a 12-step program, did community service, and had to go to church every week. She was there around five or six months until she ran away.

“I don’t know what came over me, but I left,” she says.

She wasn’t ready to fully immerse herself in the steps to recovery, but thinking of the potential of messing up visitation with her kids caused her to turn herself in.

She had to go back to jail for another five or six months. This time, she knew what to expect, but the experience was no more enjoyable than the first time. Her time in jail totaled 222 days. Upon release the second time in November 2016, she returned to Wayside Mission.

This time, the rehabilitation center was under different management. Sonni Stevenson, who is now Autumn’s future mother-in-law, was

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running the center.

“It was a home of love, to give them time to know that somebody cares,” Stevenson says.

Stevenson’s first husband was an alcoholic.

She saw the impact his alcoholism had on her kids and felt it herself. Through this, she realized her passion for wanting to help women in tough situations. She would often bring the girls who were at Wayside Mission to her own house during the holidays.

While at Wayside Mission, Autumn shared a room with other women she grew to trust, which was difficult for her to do after her mother’s death. But eventually, her roommate brought in meth, and Autumn couldn’t resist.

She cried as she used for the first time in a year and a half.

Why am I doing this? she asked herself.

Christina had died from an overdose during Autumn’s second stay in jail. Autumn also saw middle-aged women stuck in jail for drug possession. When she heard that a friend she made in jail overdosed and died three weeks before her baby’s due date, her heart broke.

She didn’t want to join them, yet something still didn’t seem to click.

“The thing is, if you're in treatment and

you're having constant temptation, that’s not good,” Brown says. “So you've got to have a surrounding that reinforces not using.

And how does that happen? It happens by engaging in conventional, or law-abiding, culture.”

When Stevenson learned of Autumn’s use, she typed up an email to the court. She stared at the send button. It was hard, but she wanted Autumn to know there was accountability for what she was doing. Autumn was like a daughter to her, and she didn’t want to see her go back to jail for the third time. Stevenson convinced the court to get her into a more structured rehab facility. She wanted to show Autumn that she was serious and cared about her.

“She had an innocent side to her that followed people,” Stevenson says of Autumn.

“I thought that if I could get her to stand up for herself, that she had a chance. I could see that in her. So I went that extra mile with her.”

Brown says mentoring, a method that used to not be taken seriously, paired with drug counseling increases the likelihood of success.

He says drug counseling, in a group or as an individual, is effective. But when it ends and

someone reenters society, they need to still be held accountable and have guidance.

Stevenson says the second time Autumn was released, she was different. Autumn seemed to have her mind made up about changing her life, so Stevenson found a recovery center in Richmond, Indiana, that seemed like a good fit.

THE BREAKTHROUGH Autumn’s time at Cross Road Christian Recovery Center for Women in Richmond was cleansing. Away from Muncie, she knew no one and wasn’t able to use her phone.

During the day, she exercised and went to counseling sessions or classes where she talked through what had led to her using.

One thing she learned there was how to write letters. It was difficult, and she didn’t want to do it at first. The letters caused her to focus on the root of why she began using drugs. She wrote letters of what she would say to her mother, and of what her mother would say to her if she was here.

“They had us read the letters out loud, and that was kind of a breakthrough,” Autumn says.

Four years since the death, she still writes letters on her mother’s birthday and Mother’s Day. Autumn graduated from the four-month program in July 2017, and around Christmas, she got engaged. Though the journey has been long, she has found a sense of peace.

“I feel like I found myself there,” Autumn says. “I was so lost for so long.”

LIFE TODAY Now, Autumn lives a drug-free life and surrounds herself with like-minded people.

She says she can’t really say her change was because of her kids, because if that was the case, she would’ve never gotten as far into using as she did.

“I wish I could’ve done it for them,” she says.

“But I think it got to the point where it was so tiring, it wasn’t fun.”

According to the Urban Institute, about half of prisoners are able to find jobs within the first year of being released. Kohl’s in Muncie is one of the places that hires felons, and Autumn was honest with the staff about her

past. Now she has worked at Kohl’s for more than a year, which is the longest she has kept a job.

She loads trucks and packages items for shipping. Sometimes, as she marks down the price of clothes or toys, she considers what she might want to buy for her kids. When it was warmer, she got Marleigh dresses and Liam shorts. She recently got a Minnie Mouse book set for just $5 to give to them.

The friends Autumn had before jail were also using drugs, so making a change meant ending those relationships and starting over.

Now, Autumn keeps to herself for the most part, but she has found friendship with her coworkers, who know her story and accept her.

“I’m not so much a follower anymore. I’m more of a leader,” Autumn says. “I’m a lot more independent. It’s nice to be able to pay my own bills and buy stuff for my kids.”

She lives alone in an apartment with her boxer dog, Jax, and is saving to buy a house with her fiance. She’s also working on getting Liam and Marleigh back. They still live with Greg’s father and stepmother. Autumn is transitioning into seeing them more, like on the weekends, when they often go fishing with her and her fiance.

But they no longer call her mom. They call her Autumn, like their grandparents do.

She’s also working on repairing relationships with her family, including her father and four siblings, some of whom she thought would never speak to her again. But now, her older sister Stephanie works with her part-time, and the process of mending those family relationships is going well, including with her father.

The first time she was released from jail, he was there.

“He wasn’t very happy about it, but he was there,” she says. “He was very hard on me. He was understanding because of the kids, but at the same time, he didn’t show compassion toward me. But I’m glad that he didn’t. That would have enabled me more.”

Now, they text every day, and he has remarried. Autumn is glad that he has found happiness, and that she has found it for herself, too.

“I want to help other people know that they don’t have to stay stuck in that situation,” Autumn says. “There’s way more life to live.

And it’s so much more fun than partying and using drugs.”

Autumn is currently engaged and just celebrated one year at her job, the longest she's been at a company.

BY THE NUMBERS 2.3 million people incarcerated in the U.S. as of 2018

615,000

are in local jails, like the Delaware County Jail

655

out of 100,000 people are incarcerated in America, making it the highest rate compared to other countries

83%

of released state prisoners were rearrested within nine years from 2005-14

11.4

million misused prescription opioids in the past two years sources: prison policy initiative, bureau of justice statistics, world prison brief, u.s. department of health and human services

Autumn's children are always excited to see her, and she enjoys spending time with them.

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//COLUMN

THE SCIENCE OF

RESISTING

CHANGE The human brain is built to form and follow habits, which can make it hard to process new ideas. story: gracie massie

Some people thrive on change. David Perkins, a professor of psychological science at Ball State University, says seeking thrills or being open-minded is related to personality. More often, however, change feels like a threat.

Biologically, change causes a few things to happen to the brain. Mona Fishbane, a licensed clinical psychologist, writes about how neurons operate to form habits. Brain cells communicate with one another as one neuron releases chemicals that are picked up by the receptors of the next neuron.

This happens billions of times. These interconnected neurons become circuits that maintain our habits.

Think of these neurons as a group of friends. When someone picks up a new behavior, one friend notices and goes to tell another friend. This action continues until a large group of friends have all

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LEWIN’S THREE-STAGE MODEL OF CHANGE gathered and connected. Breaking habits can be hard for most people, as change tries to disrupt these groups of neurons that have built up over time. Once the brain adapts, the process starts all over again. Circuits of neurons control our habits, and our habits strengthen the circuits.

But that’s exactly how the brain is supposed to work, says Larry Richard, an expert on the psychology of lawyer behavior. Just as they are able to learn and adopt certain patterns,

WE’RE PRETTY MUCH DESIGNED TO BE IN A BAD PLACE WHERE CHANGE IS CONSTANTLY AFFECTING US.

LARRY RICHARD

humans are wired to detect change.

This change can be as simple as a loud noise in a quiet room. Upon hearing it, the person’s understanding of their surroundings shifts. As the mind processes change, a lot of responses can occur. People who tend to have more anxiety might hear the noise and instantly start looking for where it came from and why it happened. This is an entirely normal reaction, Richard says, as the brain just tries to keep us safe. Others have better psychological resilience, meaning they might hear the noise and shrug it off immediately.

The way people adapt to change is genetic,

but it is unlike most genetic personality traits in that it’s easy to train.

The Lewin’s three-stage model of change shows how people can react to change with an understanding mindset. The model explains how one can first begin to not resist the change, accept it, and reinforce it as a new normal.

People don’t necessarily resent change as much as they do the initial problem, Richard says. Knowing a problem exists can be uncomfortable for people. That’s natural.

This goes along with the anxiety some people might have when they first hear a sudden loud noise: They’re hit with the feeling that something’s not right. The change is not the problem: The problem is the problem.

Brian Webster, an assistant professor of management at Ball State, says negative change has more of an impact on people than positive change. For example, Webster says losing $10 would probably influence someone more than gaining $10 would.

Good change just seems less important.

Since 2009, the United States Army has been using a program called Master Resilience Training. This 10-day course, which was designed to reduce the prevalence of post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and substance abuse, teaches people in the Army how to manage difficult circumstances and have greater flexibility when faced with change. In a poll taken by the Army National Guard, more than 90 percent of participants said the training helped increase their psychological resilience. By learning how their brains react to change, people were able to find ways to think more positively, making difficult situations a little easier to handle.

Stage one is unfreezing.

This is where a problem has been presented.

Something is making a loud noise.

Stage two is changing.

This is where action is taken to fix the problem.

A person searches for the source of the sudden noise and finds that a cup fell off of a counter.

The person picks up the cup and places it back on the counter.

Stage three is refreezing.

This is where the solution to the initial problem becomes habit.

As it turns out, a nearby window was open, which let in wind that caused the cup to fall over. The person closes the window and puts the cup in the cupboard. The person makes a mental note to keep their cups put away.

illustrations: emily wright

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//PHOTO ESSAY

HOW WOULD YOU CHANGE THE WORLD These kids might not yet have the tools to fix the problems they see around them, but they already know how they want to help in the future.

story: robbie moscato-goodpaster | photos: stephanie amador

Creating change can seem like a big task, especially for young children. These four kids, however, are eager to change the world. They want to follow their passions, donate money, and even become president in order to create the change they want to see happen.

NATALIA Natalia is 6 years old and loves to draw animals in her free time. She wants to help animals when they are sick—which is why she wants to become a veterinarian when she grows up.

“I really like taking care of animals,” she says.

Her passion to help animals expands to both land and sea creatures. Her favorite animal is a dolphin. She likes dolphins because they can swim “really good and deep.” When asked how she planned to change the world, she put her finger on her chin and thought hard, then said she wasn’t sure. However, she isn’t afraid of her future and embraced going into first grade this fall. She says her favorite part so far has been drawing and painting.

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GAVIN I WOULD SAY WHAT’S THE MATTER? ...AND BE NICE TO THEM.

GAVIN

Gavin is 8 years old and in second grade. He has been bowling for three years, and his favorite part, of course, is winning. But he understands that not everyone can win. He says he’s not a sore loser because others who don’t win could be sad. So, if someone is sad, he knows it’s important to comfort them.

“I would say, ‘What’s the matter?’ and then I’ll, like, pat them on the back and be nice to them,” he says.

Gavin thinks if everyone didn’t have to work and could do what they love instead, then everyone could be happy.

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//PHOTO ESSAY

MJ

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Ten-year-old MJ is in fifth grade and dreams of becoming an NBA player. Although he dreams big, he still recognizes the world is not perfect. He views homelessness as one of the biggest problems in the world, and as a famous basketball player, he would want to make sure that no one is homeless anymore. “I would give half my earnings to [build] houses for homeless people,� MJ said.

He is passionate about this issue because he thinks it is the most important thing for people to have a place to live. He also thinks it’s important for soldiers to be able to come home during the holidays, which is another issue he would like to tackle. He knows it will take hard work, but he is excited about the changes to come, such as moving on to sixth grade next year and getting closer to shooting for his dream.

ROSE First-grader Rose says if she could have one superpower to help change the world, she would use the power of being a little girl.

While she has the dream of being a teacher when she grows up, she would help change the world by being a good person.

Rose even has visions of becoming president, in which case she would stop people from littering.

Since starting first grade in the fall, she hasn’t known how to feel about the change.

“I was a little excited and a little nervous because of being in a classroom and not knowing people,” she says.

Now, however, she’s excited for the rest of the year because she has a great group of friends.

While she says she’s scared of change and the unknown, if she sees others who are scared of it, she tries to reassure them. “I cheer them on. I would say, ‘Go you. Be you! It’s okay. You can do it.’”

GO YOU. BE YOU! IT’S OKAY. YOU CAN DO IT.

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//COLUMN

MORE THAN A

PRODUCT

As consumers consider a company’s ethics in their buying decisions, more businesses realize the story: morgan gonsoski | illustrations: emily sabens value of keeping employees happy.

In 2014, Scott Wise had been working toward reshaping his company’s mission for almost two years. That’s when he received a phone call he says marked one of the most important moments in his 20-year history of running Scotty’s Brewhouse.

The call came from Kim Dodson of The Arc of Indiana, an organization that works to help people with intellectual and developmental disabilities realize “their goals of living, learning, working, and fully participating in the community,” according to their website. She was looking for a local business partner to help start a training facility for those with disabilities.

We want to open this hotel in downtown Muncie, and we want Three Wise Men to do a pizza place there, she said over the phone.

I love it, replied Scott. I’m in.

Well, wait, you haven’t heard the whole pitch, Dodson said. The Arc of Indiana trains and hires people with disabilities in

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Indiana. We want to teach people how to go out and get jobs in the real world.

I’m in! replied Scott, once again.

Wait, you still haven’t heard everything. A portion of your staff has to have some kind of physical or mental disability.

How many times do I have to tell you? said Scott. I’m in.

Now, 10 percent of his workforce would have some kind of disability.

“I said to myself, ‘That’s going to be the thing that I stand upon.’ The thing that I hope—as I leave this world—I hope we remember that Scott had good food, but he also did really good things for the community,” Scott says.

A Ball State University alumnus raised around the idea of creating your own vision, Scott knew by the time he was 10 that he wanted to own his own business one day. At 14, he started his own lawnmowing service called Odd Jobs, Inc., complete with business cards. At 22, after presenting an in-depth business plan

to his parents, he cosigned a loan with them to buy a small bar that would be the foundation for Scotty’s Brewhouse.

But Scott understood that keeping his business alive and thriving would take more than just good food. Employee satisfaction became his number-one goal. He sent handwritten notes to his employees and allowed them freedom with their uniforms, creating a more relaxed environment. He also implemented incentive programs for employment milestones, including gifts like watches and all-expenses-paid trips to New York City.

Scott chose to support causes like the Susan G. Komen organization and The Arc of Indiana because they truly meant something to him. This, he says, was what created “the magic word we all like to use—culture.”

Scott says culture is a company’s personality. Just as people have defining characteristics making them unique, so

photo: austin white Scotty’s Brewhouse is just one of many businesses that is placing an increased importance on company culture.

do businesses. Company culture defines the work environment but also includes elements such as a company’s mission, values, ethics, expectations, and goals.

People encounter company culture every day. It’s in the clothes we wear, the food we buy, and the products we use—all items we’ve deemed worthy of our time and money.

Customers place value in the quality and functionality of products, says Kesha Coker, an assistant professor of marketing at Ball State, focusing mainly on whether it will satisfy their needs.

According to research from California State University, culture has only emerged as a priority over the last two decades.

Consumers now care more about how companies represent themselves. Studies from Harvard Business School have shown that companies with strong emphasis on “results and caring” have been the most successful.

Happy cultures make happy customers.

According to a study by the Social Market Foundation, satisfied employees are up to 20 percent more productive than unhappy employees, and when it comes to salespeople, happiness has an even greater impact, raising sales by 37 percent.

Scott believes in putting his employees first. If his people are happy, he finds that the customers are, too. He says much of the “magic” of his culture comes from employees enjoying their work.

“You can get a burger and fries from a thousand different places,” Scott says. “But to get personality, and to get people that care, and that smile, and that say please and thank

you, and understand polite etiquette—I think things like that, that’s what truly makes a company successful.”

The growth of social media has also influenced how people view brands.

Involvement and transparency are available online, allowing consumers to gain better insight into companies and more easily expose or praise them. Coker says customers today value being part of the process.

“It’s become a participatory culture, so customers are contributing to marketing,” she says.

Buying products has also become more socially driven, Coker says. Even brief compliments on an outfit might affirm someone’s purchase. Writing reviews on Amazon reinforces the products to others.

“Now we are in an age where, because the market has the ability to voice what’s on their mind, and they have more power, they can actually influence other people more readily than in the past,” Coker says.

Scott has been able to stay relevant in his market through his willingness to adapt and change as society does. While growing the company, he realized his goal of becoming an “anti-chain” chain. This meant he wanted each location to have an atmosphere similar to a “mom-and-pop” restaurant, but there also needed to be standard rules. For example, Scotty’s in Bloomington, Indiana, had to taste the same as Scotty’s in Waco, Texas.

Scott says he’s always loved trying new things, but he knows that’s not typical in Scott says he’s always loved trying new things, but he knows that’s not typical in most people.

Still, he says, the world is always changing.

“You’ve got to understand that you either change with it,” he says, “or you die as a business.”

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Kanye West's support of President Trump is just one example of how celebrities use their powers to influence politics. story: riley eubanks | illustration: hannah patton

just wanted to know that Kanye West, the musical inspiration of my adolescence, was okay.

He was hospitalized for a “psychiatric emergency” just a few months after I saw him live for the first time on the Saint Pablo Tour. The tour, mixed with being thousands of miles away from his wife when she was robbed at gunpoint, seemed to be the catalyst that put him in the hospital.

His hospitalization was followed by silence. He obviously needed some time off with his family to collect himself.

Still, as a fan, I wanted to know he was okay.

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In the midst of his silence, I accepted that even if he never came back to the spotlight, if he never made another song or shoe, I would be happy as long as he was happy and was able to be at peace with himself and his family.

So it was to my surprise when the first time I saw him back on the news, about a month after his hospitalization, his hair was dyed blonde, and he was posing next to thenpresident-elect Donald Trump at Trump Tower.

There was a time when I naively thought Kanye’s support for Trump would go away. Obviously it didn’t, and the

image of him hugging our president in the Oval Office will be bleached into my mind forever. But there was one thing that stood out to me during his blissfully chaotic visit to the White House: He said when he puts on the “Make America Great Again” hat, it makes him feel like a superhero.

For years, I’ve watched Kanye battle depression and mental illness, hoping that he would one day find peace with himself and the world around him. He seems to have finally found that peace in Trump’s America. Now I just have to find peace with his decision to support Trump.

Hollywood, since its star-studded beginning, has always been political. Politicians would often seek out the endorsements of celebrities to try to get the extra advantage in an election. From Frank Sinatra coining a jingle endorsing John F. Kennedy to Willie Nelson recently playing a song called “Vote ‘Em Out” at a rally for Senate nominee Beto O’Rourke in September, musicians especially have often found themselves involved with politics.

Social media, though, has changed the medium in which endorsements take place. Celebrities no longer need to take time to even go to a rally for a candidate. Taylor Swift, who has historically been apolitical in the public eye, can effectively endorse a candidate all from her phone, like she did when she got on Instagram to endorse two Tennessee Democrats and outline her political views.

Kanye and Swift could very well be setting the precedent for what a celebrity endorsement looks like in the modern political theatre. Kanye recently outlined all of his political beliefs on Twitter, such as supporting asylum for those seeking to escape war in their home countries by coming to America. He also mentioned prison reform and “commonsense” gun laws before proclaiming that he will be distancing himself from politics.

It’s unclear whether this hiatus will be permanent or not.

However, Kanye can’t delete the impact he’s had on the political world, the Trump administration, and his fans.

Barring any actual crime or other similar scandal, I will always stand by Kanye. As a fan, though, am I responsible for what this man does or feels? If he decides to once again get on Twitter and support Trump, does that mean I’m a Trump supporter?

In order to get a better grasp on what the West-Trump relationship could mean, I talked to David Jackson, a political science professor at Bowling Green University, about the effect of celebrity endorsements and activism.

“When a celebrity has their name with it, there will be more attention toward an issue,” says Jackson, though his studies have found that notoriety does not always equate to credibility when it comes to the public eye.

Notoriety and fame can be gauged by numbers (amount of followers on social media, album/movie sales, etc.), but

credibility can’t always be defined by a tangible figure. Most of the time, credibility is measured by someone’s job or experience, which works against celebrities because their jobs can often be seen as superfluous.

Jackson says notoriety, credibility, and likeability are the most important concepts in celebrity endorsements. A celebrity’s credibility is often determined by what they do outside their job, such as working toward charitable causes.

Notoriety and likeability are related but aren’t always correlated.

Amy Schumer, for example, may not be the most credible opinion when it comes to politics based solely on her acting career, but the fact that she has been outspoken on issues ranging from gun violence, to female rights, to sexual assault, has legitimized her beliefs among her base. Mix all that with the fact she got arrested alongside 300 others while protesting the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh for a Supreme Court Justice seat at the U.S. Senate building, and she’s basically a modern-day political martyr. Her Kavanaugh protest might have had a bigger impact than her cousin, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, had with his dissenting opinion in the eventual confirmation of Kavanaugh, even though Chuck Schumer has been a senator for 20 years and represents the opinions of 46 other Democrats in the U.S. Senate.

This also reflects a point Jackson brought up about how some celebrities are only famous in their subgroups and, in some cases, have little to no impact on the general population.

A famous Twitch streamer might be unrecognizable to the general public, but could be very influential to their base, for example.

With so many different types of media to follow and become famous through, fame is a hard thing to define today. But certain celebrities, such as Kanye or Taylor Swift, transcend all walks of life and are recognized by almost everyone.

Jackson’s research has also found that celebrity endorsements have the potential to harm candidates more than they actually help. People are less likely to vote for a candidate if the person is endorsed by a celebrity they don’t like. Celebrity endorsements are tricky and can sometimes backfire on a candidate.

So, did Kanye’s endorsement actually help Trump?

Trump did boast that his support among AfricanAmericans doubled after Kanye’s endorsement, though the poll he cited was proven by Politifact to be unreliable at best. Whether or not Kanye will sway people to become Republicans or vote for Trump in 2020 remains to be seen.

I highly doubt Kanye will have that large of a political impact, though ultra-conservative pundits Candace Owens and Charlie Kirk, among others, have begun championing Kanye on social media. So, it wouldn’t be too outrageous to

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predict that Kanye might one day become a conservative icon of sorts. However, they seem to ignore Kanye’s claim that his “principles” are more aligned with Democratic socialist Bernie Sanders.

For example, Kanye donated more than $70,000 to a Democratic candidate for a Chicago mayor in October. This is similar to a young Donald Trump, who often supported issues and parties on both sides of the political spectrum prior to re-registering as a Republican in 2012.

Just because Kanye says he’s distancing himself from politics does not mean he’s staying away forever.

Trump took similar actions over the years to focus on his business and other matters.

If Kanye truly wants to run for president one day, his fanning of the political fire is similar to that of Trump, who constantly alluded to a possible presidential run before actually doing it. Trump’s mull over the presidency dates back as far as 1988 and is sandwiched between his oft forgotten presidential campaign in 2000, when he said his first choice for vice president would be Oprah Winfrey.

Jackson says it’s just as possible the public will get fed up with political outsiders by the next election, choosing to elect a “boring candidate” with an extensive political background in 2020.

Jackson says he gets asked by his Canadian friends if Trump’s presidency is setting a “political outsider” precedent, where elected positions are filled by people who have little to no prior political experience. He’s not sure whether Trump is setting a trend, pointing out the fact that Trump had a very unique platform prior to running for president that cannot easily be replicated by other candidates. Few celebrities have the experience of running a billion-dollar company while also possessing the polarizing level of celebrity that Trump had prior to his successful presidential campaign.

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However, if Kanye’s fashion brand Yeezy really is worth $1.5 billion, Kanye’s platform and qualifications for the presidency would be roughly the same as Trump’s prior to taking the highest office in the country.

Jackson has come to the conclusion from his research that, among those who are influenced politically by celebrities, fans typically seek to adopt the opinions and endorsements of the celebrities they follow. But with a polarized figure like Kanye, it’s tough to adopt all his beliefs. From claiming AIDs was administered by the government to reducing more than 400 years of slavery in the U.S. to a personal mindset of the victim and saying it’s a choice, Kanye has been dead wrong on plenty of ideas that I’ll never support.

But how much does what Kanye supports actually affect me? Slug, cofounder of the rap duo Atmosphere, put it best when he said, “The stars in the sky don’t sponsor my house, so I pay no mind to what comes out of their mouths.” As a consumer of Kanye’s music and artistry, I can absolutely love and support the man without caring about his political opinions.

And he has had some opinions I agreed with. Days after Trump said he wanted Chicago to use stopand-frisk tactics to try to lower violence in the city, Kanye was there in Washington to tell the president that stop-and-frisk has proven to be ineffective and racist. Kanye also brought up important points about what Chicago is doing to provide mental health resources to its citizens.

So, there are some good things coming out of this West-Trump relationship, even if it has caused some serious pain for longtime Kanye supporters. Throughout my life, Kanye’s music has uplifted my spirit and given me the confidence I needed to take on the world. In a way, his music made me feel like a superhero. And if Trump gives him that same feeling, who am I to tell Kanye to stop supporting him?

WE'LL GET YOU HIRED. Taylor Hohn Editorial Intern at San Francisco Magazine

Emily Sabens Intern at Eiteljorg Museum

Ball Bearings staff members secure paid and unpaid internships every year. Student media makes their rĂŠsumĂŠs stand out in a competitive job market.

To get involved, go to the Unified Media Lab in the Arts and Journalism building or email ecsabens@bsu.edu.

Samantha Kupiainen Intern at Indiana Hospital Association

Emily Cox Pulliam Intern at The Martinsville Reporter-Times

Taylor Meyers Editorial Intern at Indianpolis Monthly

Katie Grieze Editorial Intern at Indianpolis Monthly

Stephanie Amador Intern at The Courier-Times

//GRAPHIC

IS THAT WHAT THE KIDS ARE SAYING THESE DAYS? story: merrill gourley

Language differences go beyond Millenials not understanding their dads’ cheesy jokes. A lot of the differences in the ways teens and young adults talk today compared to their parents and grandparents seem to be centered around how technology is used for communication.

Generation by generation, language changes, and it can be difficult for people of different ages to fully understand one another.

For Millennials and Generation Z, unique language consists of more than slang. The popularity of texting has led to the rise of emoticons, more affectionately known as emojis. These tiny pictures changed the game for allowing people to express emotion through text. According to Emojipedia, there are 2,823 emojis in the Unicode Standard. That’s 2,823 emotions, scenarios, or stories that can be relayed via images.

Younger generations also differ from their parents in common slang.

Shortened words and phrases, such as “gucci” and “smh,” are often used as shortcuts in texts, tweets, Snapchats, or Instagram posts. There are also generational differences in the ways objects and circumstances are defined.

In discussing relationships, for example, young people today might say that going

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on dates and texting someone regularly is “talking,” while parents and grandparents would classify that as “dating” someone.

This discrepancy in definitions can make it difficult to explain a relationship status to family members without follow-up questions.

Jeff Grabill, a professor professional writing from Michigan

State University, believes that even without new ways of communicating through the use of technology, society would still be developing new terms. People stopped using words like “shall” and “forsooth” long before the technology of today was invented.

So, concerning slang and new language in general, technology can’t take all the credit. Communication naturally evolves, whether or not it’s happening through screens.

illustration: elliott derose

New slang cultures among young people can seem unfamiliar to their parents and grandparents.

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