East Hampton Star Wedding Book 2016

WEDDING OOK B FEBRUARY 2016

WEDDING BOOK February 2016

EDITORIAL STAFF Helen S. Rattray, Editor Baylis Green, Mark Segal, Bess Rattray

LAYOUT AND DESIGN Paul Friese ART & PRODUCTION Paul Friese, Manager Matthew Charron, Jordy Mark

ADVERTISING Min Spear Hefner, Manager Jane Bimson, John Wyche, Zach Zunis

COVER: Phillippe Cheng Photography

For all of your wedding flowers…

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To Share or Not to Share?

Social media have created a new wedding dimension

BY TAYLOR K. VECSEY

Even a bride can’t go unplugged for long. Renee Tobiassen took a moment to check in as she got ready for the wedding.

Alison Conklin Photography

L

married couple at the Montauk Point Lighthouse, their eyes locked, ong gone are the days when only the bride and groom, the bride’s white gown and long hair blowing in the wind. “It’s their families, and closest friends relished photographs of everyone’s favorite, and our photographer missed it!” she said. the wedding day. An invited guest or not, if you are a About 87 photographs were posted to Instagram alone. The friend of the couple on Facebook, or even the friend of one of couple also asked their guests to sign up for WedPics, a free wedthe guests, you’ll get a peek at the dress, the cake, and maybe ding app for sharing photos and videos. “Our wedding was a deseven the first dance, before the bride and groom have even left tination for a lot of people, so we also asked them to share phoon their honeymoon. The wedding, and every step leading up to tos from their weekend even if we weren’t with them so that we it, is immortalized on the Internet thanks to social media apps. could put them in one big photo album,” Ms. Tobiassen said.

We may be used to people sharing everything all the time, Ms. Tobiassen and Mr. Cunningham are not alone when it but it is also becoming the norm that elements of social media are incorporated into the wedding itself. Before they’ve even set a comes to sharing weddings on Instagram. When the actress Sofia Vergara married the actor Joe Manganiello in November, she date, couples often come up with a wedding hashtag to use as a shared 55 photos from her wedding weekend, instead of selling way to pool their photos and create buzz around their nuptials. photographs to a magazine. Kim Kardashian’s first post as Mrs. Renee Tobiassen, 32, said she and her now-husband, Chris Cunningham, 39, talked about social media and its place in their Kanye West in 2014 was once the most liked photo on Instagram — with 2.4 million likes. It is only the second most liked. wedding early on. “I’m a big picture-taker, so I loved the idea of Jill Gordon, who has planned weddings here for 20 years at seeing our wedding through our guests’ eyes, in addition to the Jill Gordon Celebrate, said some of her clients, including a few of perspective of our two hired photographers.” her celebrity clients (she declined to say who they were), have The Manhattan couple, who own a house in Montauk, used asked the photographer to make a quick edit of a photo taken #chrisandreneemtk not only during the weekend of their wedduring the ceremony and post it to social media during the ding in Montauk, but over the whole year leading up to the big reception as a way to announce that day, such as at her bridal shower. vows have been said — before anyone During their reception at Gurney’s beats them to it.

Montauk Resort and Seawater Spa on “Everybody having a camera on Oct. 9, 2015, guests were cued to post them at any given moment has certaintheir pictures with the hashtag, which ly changed weddings,” Ms. Gordon was printed in a small font at the botsaid, adding it’s not unusual for a wedtom of the table numbers. About half of ding photographer to capture a photo the 100 in attendance did so. at the ceremony showing that most “The photos that my guests took guests have their smartphones out and were just as beautiful and special as our are using them. photographers’, and it was great to be For some, however, weddings are able to view them right away,” Ms. private moments that need safeguardTobiassen said. It was a decision she ing. “I’ve had celebrity clients who and her husband did not regret. we’ve made it part of the invitation and “They caught so many special part of any paper that we sort of passed moments,” she said. One photograph Finding a wedding guest without a cellphone camera in taken by the groom’s stepmother and hand is a rarity. This guest pulled double duty, managing out through the weekend . . . not to posted on Instagram showed the newly two iPhones at once.

Cappy Hotchkiss Photography use phones and post to social media . .

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dates. They’re tagging the event . at least until the couple can months and months before the do so.” Guests are usually wedding happens.” respectful of such requests. But While she has yet to come up sometimes it can’t be avoided. with a specific hashtag, she wastMs. Gordon recalled one ed little time taking to social non-celeb wedding several years media when Henry Donald, 30, back, when the bride’s best popped the question in May. She friend, the Oscar-winning told close family and friends actress Gwyneth Paltrow, and The bride, Renee Tobiassen, and her family posed on the dance floor for a first, then took to Instagram the her then-husband, the photo taken with the help of a selfie stick. The photo was immediately Coldplay frontman Chris posted to Instagram.

Alison Conklin Photography next day, posting a smiling headshot her fiancé took, her left Martin, sang for the bride and hand showing a noticeable diamond, groom. A cellphone video of the peralong with the caption, “It was a good formance was somehow leaked to a night,” and a heart emoji. One huntabloid television show. “You never dred and ninety one likes and 51 conknow, and then it’s too late,” she said. gratulation comments followed.

While most people don’t have to Once the members of their wedworry about their weddings ending up ding party at the Montauk Yacht Club on TV, Ms. Gordon said the idea of were chosen, they found another way whether their wedding will be plastered to use social media. One of Mr. all over social media is an important Donald’s groomsmen, back in his consideration for couples, just like native New Zealand, had the idea to picking a caterer or D.J. “I think the start a Facebook group for all their first suggestion is to know who they international guests so that even guests are. Are they a couple that invite that Every step of a wedding, for some couples, can be found who didn’t know each other could public sharing or are they a couple on Instagram. One of Renee Tobiassen’s favorite photos who want to keep it more private or was taken by her husband’s stepmother and posted using share and discuss travel information. the couple’s wedding hashtag. When bride-to-be Caroline “In that aspect, social media has been a intimate?” she said.

Cappy Hotchkiss, a wedding pho- McGintee found herself engaged, she announced it to all huge help,” Ms. McGintee said. her friends at once with a picture of the ring. Instagram Her approach to her June 11 wedtographer for 15 years, said social ding is to leave the sharing up to her media has become such a big part of guests. “If people want to, they’re more than welcomed to,” she weddings that she’s begun offering a service tailored for said. “As long as people aren’t posting pictures of me in my wedInstagram-happy clients. For an “Instant Gratification Add-on” ding dress before I walk down the aisle.” Even those of us who she brings another photographer who will shoot exclusively with over-share know there are still boundaries. ❁ an iPhone, but it is a professional who understands backlighting and is watching out for shadows. “When I’m at a wedding, I love Taylor K. Vecsey, who wrote this story and is the digital to snap a few iPhone photos. They’re always gorgeous. Why not media editor at The East Hampton Star, celebrated her own marry the two?” she asked. While nothing can replace the quality marriage recently. She and Nicholas Hemby were married on a of professional photography or equipment, the new package is a beach on St. Thomas in way for couples to share the moment quickly. “You still have to the Virgin Islands on wait for the magic,” she said with a laugh about the final proofs.

Sept. 28, 2015. A dinner Sharing has become such a consideration in her business that on the beach followed at it’s a question on the form she gives clients. That way, she knows Havana Blue on the whether she can post a photo on her own Instagram account, island, a favorite spot for along with the couple’s account names. the couple who have “Most people want to be out there, but some people don’t,” been visiting St. Thomas she said. “I do get really excited when people want to be on for eight years.

Instagram.” The feedback can be gratifying, and it’s fun to see Mr. Hemby owns guests tag each other. Nevertheless, she has mixed feelings about Greenlife Solutions, social media. “Part of me thinks it’s really fun and a part of me Blue Glass Photography which specializes in foam thinks it’s a tiny bit reality showish. Everything has become a insulation, and is a home paparazzi circus.” energy rater. In their free time, the Water Mill couple volunteer “Every wedding I’ve been to, there’s been a hashtag, whether it as emergency medical technicians with the Bridgehampton was communicated to everybody or spread through word of mouth,” Fire Department and are captains in the organization. said Caroline McGintee, a 29-year-old who grew up in East They didn’t announce their wedding on social media immediHampton and is a bride-to-be. “People come up with their wedding ately, and when they did the only hashtag was #eloped. hashtags before they even send their invitations or wedding save-the9

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Feeling Blue in Yellow Sometimes, a bridesmaid just has to grin and wear it

BY CHRISTINE SAMPSON

F

rom a very early age, I hated yellow. It was the color of the unpopular crayon in the kindergarten Crayola bin. I thought it was a boy’s color, although I can’t remember why. Maybe yellow reminded me of bodily fluids. It even was the color of the undesirable dandelion in our front lawn. Sad to say, then, I wound up as a member of two wedding parties wearing yellow.

I was one depressed 9-year-old when I wore yellow as a flower girl at the 1990 wedding of my mother and stepfather. My sister, Jess, younger by two years, wore lavender. My new stepsister, Izumi, older by five years, had a chic strapless gown in coral. But I was stuck with yellow; someone didn’t love me.

Our dresses were my seamstress mother’s handiwork, and they drew many compliments.

Our flowers matched the dresses and the colors matched the accents on the wedding cake. It was lovely for everyone except me. I didn’t even like the yellow roses I had to carry. I didn’t feel as beautiful as I thought my sisters did, and my facial expressions sure didn’t help the cause. I’m not sure which came first, the foul faces or the un-pretty feelings. But some of the wedding photos make the point.

I had long since set the unfortunate experience aside when, in 2004, my best friend, AnnMarie, was getting married. Thrilled to be her maid-of-honor, I vowed to do anything and everything I could to help her wedding be the best ever. Eventually, that involved wearing yellow — a canary-yellow gown that was otherwise pretty. And the truth

The writer eventually celebrated too hard to care what color she was wearing at her best friend’s wedding.

seems to be that both times I wore yellow as a member of a wedding party, I chose the color myself.

My mom tells the flower girl story this way: “I remember asking the girls what pastel color they’d like to wear, and I believe those are the colors they chose. It was an August wedding, so I wanted the colors to be light and pretty. I remember taking them to a fabric store and letting them pick out the colors.”

She also insists she was 29 years old at the time, so she clearly cannot be trusted. But if her story is in fact true, I had blocked it.

The yellow maid-of-honor dress at AnnMarie’s wedding was the result of a lastminute panic, which was like something out of a rom-com. I started off with a gown that matched those to be worn by the bridesmaids: straight, classic, Vera Wang in sagegreen. Through a series of events that concluded with the bride’s reconnecting with an old friend several weeks before the wedding, suddenly our wedding party grew by one.

It was too late for her to get a matching dress, but as the maid of honor, I could get away with wearing a different color. The new bridesmaid and I wore the same size, so I handed over my gown. The bride and I set out to find a new one for me in a different color. We limited our choice to Vera Wang, thought it needed to complement the bridesmaids‚ and understood it was too late for alterations.

The options were slim, and I wound up with yellow. This time I acted like a grown-up and kept my complaints to myself. I didn’t want to unsettle the glorious bride with my colorful drama. And after the bride and groom said “I do,” I celebrated hard enough not to care what color I was wearing.

Of course, the golden truth is that it doesn’t really matter what color a bridesmaid or flower girl wears; it’s the bride who commands all the attention. I still don’t like yellow, but I’d say yes to it all over again. ❁ AT RIGHT, TOP: The writer’s stepfather and mother were probably unaware of the face the writer was making at their wedding in 1990. CENTER: The writer envied the lavender dress worn by her younger sister. Both dresses were sewn by their mother, left. BOTTOM: The bride is seen in a photo with the writer, who smiled even though she disliked her canary-yellow gown.

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CLEANERS AND TAILORING Nancy’s Tailoring & Alterations 3334 Noyac Road Sag Harbor, N.Y. 11963 631-725-1517

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ENTERTAINMENT

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FLOWERS

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