__Lithuanian team sends kisses and wishes the HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY to Milda, their gorgeous blue eyed girl! We also looking for some boys to accompany her during tonight’s night baths…..and maybe later __ATTENTION to all blue plastic bottles owners! These are the most hunted by the Longitudinal (or whatever the spelling is…) workshop team. So everyone having any plastic bottle on their sight please bring it next to the info point where the big blue box is.
A L EL
Here on the boats there is certainly a considerable amount of chemistry between the girls and guys, many of which remains frustrated due to fear, miscommunication, and seriously bad chat up lines. We at ‘ummm...brella’ would like to offer our help to you guys and girls who can’t stop thinking of “that special person” by offering you the chance to post messages to the apple of your eye (i.e. the person you want to bonk (bonk=shag=fuck)) These messages can be with your name (and theirs) or without, and you can say more or less what you like, as long as it is true... Another option is our dating service, whereby you can send us a picture and a short text explaining your ideal partner. We can then do either ﬁnd one of the umbrella people, or send an email to email@example.com - just call me
News from the Frontline:
The Border between Scotland and England
__We need our DJs BACK! Why are Daniel and Edwin NOT ON the STAGE????? Let the Djs play! We need them!
WORKSHOPS....... It’s the second day of the workshops and we still can’t ﬁnd any entertainment going on. Unfortunately this issue is not going to boast about any of them…. as everyone seems to be lazing around, walking in the city ‘looking for the site’ and hiding in the shadows with beer in their hands and stomachs. This time we decided to give you a short review and analysis of inﬂuential issues for such lethargy. See the diagram!
A Flashback of Yesterday Best Chat up lines from Dr. Love.
THE HOT WORKSHOP LINE seems like we can’t get rid of the accidents and have punishments from local authorities everywhere! The last bit happened in one of the squares of Budapest where ‘Out Of Box’ workshop was playing with their paper airplanes. The policemen came as soon as they covered all the ﬂoor with the paper ﬂyers! According to one of the easa participants, policemen took away their ID’s and didn’t gave back until all was cleared....(good practice though before duties on the boat) This time they escaped the punishement and didn’t have any ﬁnes. Weeeeell done
Music......... Not so much a complaint as an observation - many EASAians have been telling us of their frustration with the music provided at various events - they all tend to want stronger beats, and simple, more danceable music - plain old House music for example. For a moment at West Balkan everybody was dancing and having fun, but sadly this only lasted a short time, as the no doubt talented DJ moved to music much less likely to get everyone shaking their booty. Also asked of myself and Umbrella are the
whereabouts of longtime EASA DJ’s Rakedwin (NL) and Daniel (CH) who have been relied on in the past to proved reliable dance music... Lastly, and related to this topic, we have come across an event tomorrow evening (Friday 28th) held by TransGlobalUnderground - a well known force in Eastern Europe for a variety of dance music nights. I am planning on going (Andri) so if anyone else is up for it let me know. I tried to ﬁnd out more about the DJ, however all I could ﬁnd was in Hungarian, and the translate tool online gave me a rather useless
As the UK contingent knows, I am famed for the quality, imagination and charm of my chat up lines (the things you say to get a bonk...) So, here I will introduce to some of my latest and greatest, many of which have already put the wind up the skirts of the beautiful girls of EASA. Line 1) “I would shake your hand, but mine is greasy” Line 2) “Girls...I can make you famous” (this only works if you are part of the news PRESS, like me) Line 3) “So, your hairdresser must really hate you?” Line 4) “Have you ever seen the Matrix?” Should you surprisingly get no response, carry on with: “What about that bit where Neo goes whoooaaaaaa” Line 5) “Your eyes are like jelly”
but entertaining explanation, as follows: “The electronic világzene vet then starts the industry , when most English tánczenekar yet ahogy honlapjuk writes „egy vocalist and two dreadnoughts valvular she stood. Laborious words show that the revolutionist inﬂuence , that the TGU practise the világzenére and the partikultúrára. THE Fun Da - Mentality raw ereje Natacha Atlas amative bending Badmarsh Shri tablával dúsított basszusmenetei ,
the Banco but Gaia mechanism - mysticism – this every - every the TGU found who. More Hungary lemezfelvétel and concert after again the A38 Aboard a ship lépnek up two successive in the day the ﬁrst in the evening one DJ - set erejéig.” - Useful huh? The event starts at 10pm and is held on the A38 boat\club, only two bridges away (in Buda) Admission is 1000Ft
Yesterdays lectures at KÈK once again proved the important relationship between common:place, architectural students, and global climate change to the ability to keep our attention focused on the real deal for more than 15 minutes. Those who managed to withstand the event until the very end of the third ﬁlm had a real sauna in their pants (luckily the Belorussians always have a 5 liter bottle of wine with them). Dj shuriken did his best to reduce our thirst for ﬁne dance music, unfortunately the local policemen were disturbed from their sleep and just as the music got really dirty it was shut down. Meanwhile, the scenario in the courtyard was quite usual – one third got home early, one third tried to get drunk but couldn’t, and the last third (Kotryna leading the way) got drunk and then got home (koz:hely). Another ﬁne night of EASA’s eternal noise of talking, laughter, and communication; both physical and emotional.
GOSSIPS :-) __We have information that the ship crew will stop supplying us with the drinking water, so we will have to use tap water instead…we have few consequences already! (see picture) __There are more and more people founding their underwear in different beds… is it turning to fetishism, or will we have more couples then ever before? Several youngsters that were going home from the
KEK last night were caught by the control guys in the nightbus. The most funny thing in this story is that the guys were actually talking about one of the best movies ever – “Kontroll” (It tells about Budapest’s metro and the control guys in it. Totally crazy) on their way to the bus! And they did want to clip their tickets, but… eh, it probably was the beer. Anyway the ﬁne is 2500 HUF and no excuses. Those guys are harsh.
As some of you will know, the border between the beds of Scotland and England was recently classiﬁed as a “DMZ” (which usually means Demilitarised Zone, such as that between the North and South Korea) This situation has occurred after repeated incursions into Scotland by English militants, in particular the notorious Ryan “Mantonizer” Manton. As you may also know, the bed of the British man is his castle, and the situation has deteriorated after retalions by the Mantonizer, the worst of which involved the spreading of crumbs and sand liberally over the area designated for sleeping by the Scottish contingent (the author and war correspondant). Attacks upon the depots and storage areas of these particles are expected soon. The arrival of Matt “Chuckles” has further increased the pressure on the Scottish-English border, which will likely lead to further defenses being installed along the”DeMantonized Zone”. Updates on this area of great concern will appear as they occur. Over and Out.
International News: Last night at KEK an extraordinary claim was made by the Croations, that they possess the best ability at swearing, being able to create whole sentences of bloody and creatively rude language. This is surely going to start some very rude arguments... However, more bizarrely came an announcement from unamed source that he intended to become a “tripper”, which he explained was a job involving not only the stripping of trees for timber, but also the stripping of clothes. Hold onto your underwear ladies, this guy is hot stuff!
Pay attention to the time the ﬁne was paid...
Notable Hungarians Most shipmates here probably couldn’t name a famous Hungarian even if their life depended on it. However you probably already know a few of them without being aware of it!
Peter Carl Goldmark (1906 1977)
This Hungarian-born chap worked at Columbia records. There he invented the microgroove 33-1/3 rpm vinyl phonograph disc, better know as the LP (record). So next time you get your groove on to the beats of a vinyl-hugging disc jockey, remember that you owe your high partly to a Hungarian!
tip consisting of a ball that was free to turn in a socket, and as it turned it would pick up ink from a cartridge and then roll to deposit it on the paper. Ballpoints are still called biro in some countries, now you know why.
Harry Houdini (1874 - 1926)
Now Houdini probably needs no introduction, but for those of you living under a rock: he is probably the world’s most famous magician, eluding audiences for decades with his great escapes and illusions. However he has always claimed to have been born in Appleton USA, where he had actually only lived from the age of 4: He was born as Erich Weiss in Budapest. It makes you wonder, is being a Hungarian really that bad?!
Edward Teller (1908 - 2003)
Ernő Rubik (1944 - )
This geezer is a Hungarian inventor, sculptor and professor of architecture. But he is best known for the invention of the Rubik’s Cube, the famous colourful mechanical puzzle that was a worldwide hype at the end of the seventies. For those of you who are so bored at this boat that they want to have a go at beating the world record: good luck, the current record for solving it is set at 15.4 seconds!
Now not only Hungarian girls have evil-genes; Hungarian guys have also had some bad ideas: Edward Teller was one of them. One day this guy decided that the atom bomb simply wasn’t a big enough toy, so he developed: the Hydrogen bomb. This bomb can be thousands of times stronger that a standard atom bomb. So lets all give a big cheer out to the Hungarians for that!
Michael Curtiz (1886 - 1962)
This guys name might ring a bell: Joseph Pulitzer was a journalist and newspaper publisher in the last half of the 19th century whose will established the Pulitzer Prizes “for the encouragement of public service, public morals, American literature and the advancement of education.” Now of course Umbrella is on an unstoppable track to be awarded a Pulitzer, so we owe this guy some gratitude.
This dude was a Hungarian-American ﬁlm director, but he is best known for directing the movie Casablanca. This romantic drama from 1942 set in occupied Africa won him the gold statue for the Academy Award of Best Director. It’s currently at nr 5 in imdb’s rating for best movies of all time.
Now Hungarians are not always nice guys, they can also be monstrous divas! Most noteworthy is the Bloody Lady of Čachtice, a Hungarian countess. She is considered the most famous serial killer in Slovak and Hungarian history as well as the world’s most proliﬁc mass murderer (according to Guinness World Records). She and her alleged four collaborators were accused of torturing and killing numerous girls and young women (20 - 2000 victims, depending on the source). Also rumored to have bathed in the blood of servant girls! So all guys aboard, we advise you to keep away from those Hungarian gals!
You’ve probably never heard of this lad, but you probably use his brainchild daily, because he is considered the inventor of the modern ballpoint pen! In 1938, while working as a journalist, he noticed that the ink used in newspaper printing dried quickly, leaving the paper dry and smudge-free. He developed a new
From the Mouths of Babes | Vox Pop = Vox Dei Despite appearances to the contrary, we’re a hard-working bunch here at d’Umbrella. Would I lie to you? Yesterday, under the searing heat of the mid-day sun, we went out of our way to survey a wide cross-section of the ship mates, purely for your beneﬁt. Now you know what these people drink and what their favourite food is, you can organise a romantic evening of getting shit-faced and eating terrible fast food. You can thank me later ...
The big questions of the day: 1) What is your capacity for drink? 2) What is your favourite fast food? 1) 2 beers - what a great date! Will you marry me? 2) Goodys/Gyros
Clelia Thermou (Greece)
Paul Farrell (UK)
1) 3 beers 2) Goodys/Gyros
Eleni Kalamakidai (Greece)
1) 21 Stellas. You facking caaahhnt. 2) Pile of mash (potato)
1) 7 beers 2) Sushi ... with beers.
Moa Rundlöf (Sweden)
1) 3 beers 2) Goodys/Gyros
1) 8 beers 2) Falafel
Joseph Pulitzer (1847 - 1911)
Lina Liakou (Greece)
Sara Vall (Sweden)
1) 13 beers. Easily. 2) Chinese
Jiri Matura (Czech Republic) 1) 14 beers. Like it was water. 2) Bagels
Franz Liszt (1811 - 1886)
You might not like his music, but this guy was the Robbie Williams of his age. Liszt was a revolutionary ﬁgure of romantic music and was acknowledged as the greatest pianist of his time. He made his debut as a pianist at the age of nine, but in 1848 he decided to make a career as a composer. He taught most of the famous pianists of the succeeding generation. These Hungarian geezers aboard might have some serious agile ﬁngers, but I don’t think I want to know.
Ernő Goldﬁnger (1902 - 1987)
Now this chap has a seriously cool name. He was actually the inspiration for the identically named villain from James Bond. But aside from that this Hungarian was also an architect! However, not so much of an original, he was strongly inﬂuenced by the publication of Le Corbusier’s Vers une Architecture, and became a fervent admirer of Auguste Perret, an expert in designing reinforced concrete structures. This is quite visible from his Trellick tower in the UK, it’s quite brutal... but just not as brutal as Corbu’s concrete works.
Ondrej Tichy (Czech Republic) 1) 10 beers 2) Chinese
Riehard Zacpal (Czech Republic) 1) “I can drink all, or I can drink none” 2) “Anything that I ﬁnd” Jannis Spanakis (Greece) 1) 14 beers. Looked really hungover. 2) Pizza
1) 4 martinis. Uptown girl! 2) Bagels
Ana Jokanovic (Serbia) 1) tinto de verano - red wine with Fanta lemonade. She’d also like to point out that she’s only 25. Fair enough. 2) Falafel Lisa Deurell (Sweden) 1) 3 Alster. “Much better than beer.” Quite a claim. 2) Halumi Ingrid Hjelmstad (Norway)
Chris Maloney (UK)
1) 3 litres of Jack Daniels. Seriously. Eh, that’s a pretty big drinking problem you’ve got there Chris. 2) Sausage and Egg McMufﬁn
Lorenzo Karasz (Austria) 1) Gave the journalists a detailed recipe for Porno Sushi. It sounds absolutely delicious. Look out for it at the National Drinks night. 2) Porno Sushi apparently counts as a food because it’s got cucumber and egg in it. Fair enough Yuri, but you’re only fooling yourself Loginov Yuri (Russia) there - that’s the sort of lie Irish people specialise in.