EASA009 ITALIA . DARFO BOARIO TERME . TUTTE LE NOTIZIE . SEMPRE! 3 AUGUST . ISSUE 8
N A T I O N A L E V E N I N G National evening was really a hard night to survive and it has always been one of the hardest nights to remember in easa.So maybe we can help you recall a little bit of what happened. If you managed to get away with the vampire bite and the romanian palinka,or you didn’t get hurt by the swisstenstein fireworks, or the spanish torro didn’t get you while trying to get that wonderful Agua de Valencia, you were probably forced to have the serbian poison (is that legal?!). On the other hand you could have experienced eating sausages from very special places\finnish body parts. In case you are wondering why you had all those stars on your face, ask the belgian smurfs about it(who by the way,put beer even in their pancakes),cause it is a very interesting story.After runing around the dutch table in the chair game you could just grab an irish coffee, some armenian cigarettes and maybe some danish hot dog and chill down a bit. The Austrians, Germans and the Dutch were the main beer providers and France, Azerbaijan and Georgia the classy wine distributors.The russian people were very delicious,literally,cause you could eat crackers out of their bodies.Maybe those greek gods got mad at us for drinking all their ouzo and now we got all this rain from them. For those of you who were looking for some adrenalin and pain the british had that terribile bulldog game,and of course, gin tonic and we must not forget the turkish viagra.As if vodka is not strong enough anyway, the unkrainians served it with pepper.The hangover must have hurt really bad if you mixed all this with slovakian slivovica or rum,Czech slivovice and beer, slovenian snops and some moldavian cognac.I don’t know if those italians cheated and if the tiramisu was made by Giorgio, but that was totaly delicious. Those portuguese people were burning everything down at their table, especially sausages(that must be like the main dish in Europe cause we had them from all it’s parts).We had some lovely cake from the polish people,great sweets and heavy alcohol from Belarus,something called semlor and hembrannt from Sweden(you would have never remembered these names, right?) and
of course the lovely Cuba libre from Latin America.As you go through the balkans you can find all kinds of rakia(10000 degrees or something), from Albania,Macedonia,Bulgar ia,Croatia (only them had 3 different types) or Montenegro(and yes, they are all different from each other!!!).If you passed by the hungarian table you probably found another deadly palinka and some Unicum. Kosovo served their main dish “flia” and some great national desert called “sutliash”.From Latvia you had some Riga Black Balsam(yes you did,you just don’t remember).Call 999 for Lithuania!That’s their drink and it has their flag colours. Pretty cool huh?If you got to Malta you had some “bajtra liquer”.We all
love cheese and sweets so we have to thank Cyprus for that. Seems like nobody really remembers what drinks Norway and Bosnia had.You guys must have had some strong stuff there. Anyway, in the end these are some of the things we remember and it’s probably half of everything that was up on the tables. Oh, people were up on the tables too, and everything became a huge chaos after we finished our drinks and started partying.So now maybe you understand yesterdays hangover better!Thank you all for all your goodies and please make sure that you have nothing left in your luggages. We wouldn’t want you to accidentally go back home with it!
U M B R E L L A N e w s p a p e r @ g m a i l . c o m
Guidebook Photo award yes thats right, when you all submitted your EASA applications we entered you into the Easa beauty competition, here are the results. Except for Malta or Slovakia who apparently don‘t have any cameras, and Poland and Portugal who afraid they will lose their souls. Submit your photos people, we cant judge you with out them. over all winner.......
W I N N E R >>>>>>>>>>>
Special mentions Puppy face – Rune Madsen (Denmark)
Best fake smile - Yvonne Michel (Switzerland)
Most hands – Elsa Deconchat (France)
Best cleavage – Katrine Vivana Bertoletti Meneses (CLEA)
Psycho strapped into the electric chair – Pekka Ljas (Finland)
Best body part – Victor Sierra (Switzerland)
Porn star pose – Lala Abdullayeva (Azerbaijan)
Best cum face – Christoph Holz (UK)
Best angry face – Jan Loerakker (Netherlands) Best accessory – Danko Balog (Croatia)
Best Micheal Jackson impression – Lena Grudenic (Serbia)
What the fuck is that? - Paddy Roach (Ireland)
Best Photoshop – Javier Guerra (eeeSpain) Best Hair – Karolis Kyzikas (Lithuania)
Pimp Daddy – Samir Salakhov (Azerbaijan)
Best smile - Matt Lambert (UK)
is hiding inside from the rain, praying for sunshine tomorrow.
Jihum Kim (UK), seriously 10 out of 10 for the out fit that your mother chose, blank background, serious face and good resolution. If this was a job interview you would have it but unfortunately its not and it just screams EASA virgin, if you recognize this guy out by him a drink so he might have a better chance of getting laid.
El croquis Pose – Eros Laini and Vincenzo Donadio (Italy)
10 Reasons why you shouldnt go to EASA: 1. WHO’S GOT A LIGHTER? 2. NATIONAL EVENING 3. RAIN 4. WHERE IS MY SANGIOVESE PUGLIA? 5. THE DUTCH 6. NEAL PATTERSON 7. SLEEPING ON THE TILES 8. STD:S 9. A NEW LIVER IS EXPENSIVE! EVEN IN RUSSIA 10. UMBRELLA
Today your favorite Doctor Love made a LOVE test for you... Listen to your heart, and answer... (or close your eyes and enjoy).
DOT TO DOT-ARCHITECTURE
1.What is the meaning of love for you: a. a dog, a garden, a sun and 3 beautiful children and a well agenced kitchen b. Baby don’t hurt me c. Lips and ass (maybe eyes...) d. wanna fuck? 2. What could you sacrifice for a girl/boy you like in easa? a. everything and more, easa love is my life. b. Maybe my plastic plate if i dont need it c. nothing, im gonna get a beer right now d. wanna fuck? 3. During the party, your wanted boy/girl is kissing another... what would you do? a. falling on my knees in front of her/him and crying during the whole night b. try to find another better one, maybe in the Dutch team, full of amazing models c. asking Neal Patterson to help you (he s very rude) d. asking for a threesome 4. Youve already a boyfriend/girlfriend, but of course, he/she s not at EASA: a. Are you crazy? I spend my whole day on facebookchat with him/her, dont ask me such stupid question. b.You dont care, we are in EASA, out of reality c. You broke up immediatly when you arrived, how can I resist ? d. wanna fuck? Result of the test: Majority A: love for you is everything, youre partner counts more than your mother life and your Horoscope told you that you’ll get married as soon as possible. Majority B: love is great, and you do care about it, but you dont want to be too much involved in a relationship.You’re sensitive and trust in your destiny. Something’s gonna happen before the end of this EASA... Majority C: Indeed Love is important for you but youre fuckin very jealous, and if Neal Patterson (IRL) is next to you, you do not have to hesitate to ask him for a little service... Anyway, youve some difficulties to resist if an incredible beauty like Jamie Siebel (NL) try to kiss you! Majority D: I think you already understand what up about you. Youre a fuckin obsessed and horny as hell, EASA is made for that, and I ve still have some tokens left, wanna go for a drink...?
1 TABACCHI-STORE: Last night all of the EASAians run out of cigarettes and only some of us were Italian enough to use the cigarettes vending machine. So in case you notice your cigarettes are melting like ice in the sun, because you give all of them away or just smoke far to much go to the tabacco store just round the corner and get some new packages.
PLACES DARFO No2
For you the Umbrella Team went to the city of Darfo to gather helpful information and the best places in town. We’re still looking for nice bars and other useful places. Please come to Umbrella with your tips and advices - we love to test out your proposals. All in your interest of course!
2 PHARMACY If you hurt yourself in a not so hard way, or just partied too hard, and you think some pills can arrange some abatement go to the Pharmacy next to the cityhall.The nice shopassistant can talk english and will give anything you ask for, just don`t abuse his confidence.
3 IRISH PUB “CONARY MOR“: If you can`t find the party and the only thing that can rescue your night is a Guinness, go and get one in the irish pub 10min way from the EASA Campus. Just ask the irish guys for the right behavior in a irish pub, and then enjoy your irish night in Italy.
4 AMERICAN BAR: If you can`t find the Irish people to ask about the Irish pub, go straight ahead pass the Irish pub and you can get some chilled American drinks in the american bar, where the beautiful people are and they can talk english!
QUESTION OF THE DAY
WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT NATIONAL EVENING?
Katherine (Venezuela) The food, all the drinks, and the Dutch jumpin around. La Rumba!
Eva (GR) I remember half naked people walking and running around and wondering where they were.
Jon (IRL) tasty drinks and tasty food. And foam party!
MANIFESTO` BRELLO (natiolagofesto fuck the resto)
Ivana/Irina/Cheryl/Nathalia (HUN) Rakia, Everyone who tried Rakia.-the spanish sangria, I fell on the bull and broke it!
Stef (NL) Pekka s dick which was quite tasty!
Flavia (IT) A lot of dead people, a lot of rakia as well and fun! Abdullah (CY) People throwing up all over the place, you have to watch out.
Carla (uk) Not a lot, but I woke up with swiss crosses on my nipples!
Fran (Spain) Rakia, after that I didn’t remember anything!
– Part SEI
101. Honour thy error as hidden intention. 102. You are an engineer. 103. Accept advice. 104. Think of the radio. 105. Consult other sources. 106. Make a sudden destructive, unpredicatble action. 107. Incorporate. 108. Decorate, decorate. 109. Abandon normal instruments. 110. Use filters. 111. Disconnect from desire. 112. Remember the quiet evenings. 113. Do the words need changing? 114. Just carry on and keep calm. 115. Reverse. 116. Consider different fading systems. 117. Don’t be afraid of things because they’re easy to do. 118. Destroy nothing. 119. Destroy the most important thing. 120. Is it finished?
Quote of the Day
“I think the only option left for me is death: Peneso che l’unica opzione per me ora sia morte” *
Giulia (IT) Annoying Italian people that I tried to get out. And I watched the Bullshit British Bulldog.
Inna (Moldovia) Nothing. We liked the spanish food very much!
- If you can think of it, I’ve done it. - I really do not understand how a girl can resist me! - Before EASA I thought I was out my mind... Now I know I’m the only one who’s sane!
VIGANELLA - the town that knows no sunshine. As we all know from last year, a little sunshine now and than is very good for your general health. And where Ireland is known as the country where it rains 398 days a year, this year’s host nation, Italy, is more famous for her abundance of sunshine (except for today - we apologize for that ;-). But not all places in Italy are as sunny as Darfo. About 200 kilometers to the west, in a valley very close to the border with Switzerland, is a little mountain village called Viganella. General information is pretty sparse on the place, besides that it has about 200 inhabitants, and an area of 13,97 square kilometers. Viganella would have been just another up-the-mountain village, struggling for survival after most people, especially the youngster, moved away to the big city in search for jobs and entertainment, if is wasn’t for one special thing that makes it completely special: for 83 days a year, Viganella is deprived of all sunshine. Because it is in such a steep valley, every year on november 11, the sun goes behind the mountains more than 1,000 meters above, not to return until february 2. People from the northern countries like Finland and Norway may have experience with the phenomenon of the midwinters night, but not here in Italy. It’s quite easy to get depressed about the lack of sunshine, and you can only drink so many wines to forget, so the residents of Viganella came up with an ingenious solution: they built a mirror a bit higher up the mountain, where the sun does shine, and positioned it in such a way that the town square does receive sunlight during those dark days. With the mirror fully functional, the people that tended to stay inside all day long, now go out again and have a party at the sunlit square.The mirror is operated through a remote computer on the mayor’s desk and is completely tricked out to follow all sneaky moves the sun makes during the day.The money for the mirror, about a 100,000 Euros, was put together by the residents themselves and a bank. Already, other not-so-geographically-sexy villages from all around the world have contacted the mayor on how to do this terraforming photoshop trick. And all you other people out there, just remember that mirrors are not only useful to show how messed up you look after a night of heavy boozing. Shine on!
WHEN THE PATZ ATTACKZ!!!!!!!!!:
Neals rampage on campus
We are sure that as you have been walking around the campus lately you’ve been seeing more and more EasaNs on crutches, with bandages and the like. After the very engaging game held by Team UK on National Evening, Umbrella thought it was time to categorise these into an Injury report to A. help those injured by you not having to ask them what happened; and B. We all like to share. Thomas Cattrysse Teuta Kelmevdi Ger Brennan (IRL) (BEL) (KV) Injury: Dislocated AnInjury: Torn and Injury: Massive Graze kle, and 2 Breaks in the twisted ligament in foot. the knee How: I fell from my bicycle on the mounHow:The incident hapHow: I was walking tain cause I misused the pened when playing a around in the forest brakes, on Neal Patterfriendly game of Britand in front of me, son’s advice. ish Bulldog. Basically there was Neal Patgot tackled the shit out terson in a fancy lion Recovery: 2 - 3 weeks, of by Neal Patterson. dress. He tried to we are all happy it attack me, so I took wasn’t more serious. Recovery: After mulmy pencil (cause artiple surgeries, and chitect always have “Doctor said it was a recovery time, it is beautiful scar” suspected that Ger will pencil), and I poked his eyes out (as a blind never be the same. But lion cant attack you anymore). And If you we hope not dont believe me, ask Jeanne, to tell you what happened and i wont have to explain the same story again. Thank you Jeanne! Kristin Karlsson Matilde Ignal CapRecovery: 2 Months Mininum. Sucks to be (SWE) devila (SPAIN) you. Injury: Insanely Big Injury: Sprained Ankle Bruise How: I fell running, How: “Bristish Bullshit (cause Neal Patterson Bulldog game. A baswas chasing me.) tard tackled me (probGer Brennan (IRL) ably was Neal PatterRecovery: 2 weeks Dislocated Ankle, and 2 Breaks in the foot. son), when i’ll find max him, hes dead!” (she Justyna Juchimluk (PL) loved it really) Concussion after being hit in the head by a locals Knee Recovery: A bruise of this scale 3 - 6 weeks Teuta Kelmevdi (KV) Massive Graze from falling off her bike
Full List of Injuries:
Matilde Ignal Capdevila (SPAIN) Hurt her foot
Marina Lilushina (RUS) Poked herself in the eye with her own finger
Injury: Seriously Messed up knee and elbow
Thomas Cattrysse (BEL) Torn and twisted ligament in the knee
How: Getting Body slammed off the stage by a girl.
3 tutors of Lovebox Linas Lapinskas (LT) Lost a nail on a toe
Neal Patterson (IRL) Injury: Bruised Knee How: Bringing the pain, in the British Bulldog
Recovery: Injury - a lot better already. Dignity - well...
Recovery: Already on a good road to recovery, 23 Hours max, you have all been warned!!
Inna Bakka Sem - Olsen (NW) Infection (but will be back tomorrow!)
Justyna Juchimluk (PL)
Donnchadha Gallagher (irl)
Ronan Kenny (IRL) Hurt knee from falling off the stage dancing, Hurt elbow from falling off his bike.
Injury: Massive Hangover
Karolis Kyzikas (LT) SEVERE achilles tendon break ....... Damaged his ankle
Dimitry Kahov (BUL) Ankle Carla Smyth(UK) Foot issues Kristin Karlsson (SWE) Insanely Big Bruise
How: Minding her own business at the lake, chilling out, then getting face planted with the knee of a local jumping into the water Recovery: A day or so
NOTE FROM ORGANISERS: STOP IT ! ! ! !
How: Neal Patterson forced me to drink a lot of alcohol yesterday, and also the days before. He also hit me when I was sleeping with a 5 litre bottle of cheap wine. Recovery: Whos knows... maybe never
tutors Paul O’Brien, Kevin Kelly, Sean Attley, Kieran Donnellan ( all Irish ) There has been a lot of hype about this workshop and rightly so. This large scale two storey construction boasts a 7x7 ground floor plan, with a office/meeting/gallery area on the first floor. The concept is based on the Italian Loggia typology, where the ground floor is left open and to the elements and the first floor contains the functions. With a central staircase holding the main elements of the structure. The location of the site is the tricky part of this workshop, as it is located 4.79km away from the main EASA campus and participants are bused back and forth every day.The actual site is the private tennis club of Boario Terma. Located in the North Eastern end of the town (see getting there instructions). While having the construction site on private grounds has its perks, such as toilets, a shower and an office it has also resulted in less control over the project than the tutors would like. “We wanted to keep the ground floor completely open and free, in keeping with the loggia concept, but it looks likely that they will enclose the ground floor when we are finished and leave. They have included water access pipes in the ground floor slab for a bar” - Kieran.
The tutors are very committed and excited about their undertaking such a large task and even sacrificed their time on the excursion day spending a whopping 10 hours preparing and fixing things on the site so that things would be running smoothly when he participants arrived today. Indeed when umbrella
arrived everyone was busily sawing, sanding, chiselling and measuring. “today is actually a bad day to report on cause we are preparing all the modular units for erection tomorrow. When all the parts are ready we should be able to erect the basic structure in an hour or two” -Paul The project though hasn’t been smooth all sailing, such as absent participants and most recently the injury or Ger Brennan (not workshop related). “Ger is a big loss and will be sorely missed” - Paul. Also heavy rain on one of the days has resulted in the abandonment of an entire days work, and the timber got wet making it harder to work with.Transport to and from the site has also been a major issue and can result in a lot of wasted time in the mornings. In fact when umbrella was there Giorgio himself drove down 5 of the people who had been stranded at the campus for over and hour and a half The scale of the project itself is impressive and with the over all floor area of 98m2 it has the area of a small house. Umbrella managed to drag EASA dino Conor O’Brien away from his hard work to try and get a sense of scale and comparison from previous years. “Its the biggest project since the Econ pavillion in Denmark 2003, which cost like 100,000 to build. The loggia project uses pretty simple construction though so it shouldn’t take too long to put up. In 2005 there was the swiss
pavillion, which was smaller but was made of solid timber. The lunch box was the permanent pavillion in Ireland 2008 and even that was a lot of work to get done on time. We have a lot of work to do here.” When asked if they would be finished on time the tutors remained optimistic “Id be disappointed if we didn’t. But we are relying on so many outside factors that every time one thing gets pushed back (such as welding) that pushes it all back a day. But don’t worry there are plenty of other things to do in the mean time” - Kieran So if you get a chance to make it out to make it out to the Loggia site I would take it, with the structure set to go up over the next day or two, its going to be one of the most impressive permanent pavillions ever built.
! R E S P E C T !
can everyone stop getting injured. In the time it takes you read this newspaper, an EASAn will have to be taken to hospital. We are not a charity, we don’t want your money (we do) but there are various ways in which we can help ourselves and our surroundings. If we carry on the way we are doing, it will not be climate change that kills us, but lack of a school building. After the local police and school governing body could not stop the EASA juggernaut, the military police came on to the campus to make sure their beautiful institution will not be reduced to a pile of rubble before term starts up again in a month. Luckily for us we had escaped on horseback or moved to another lake. The result of this military intervention is that we have to CALM THE FUCK DOWN people. That means TWO proper party in a week is way to much, because the floor might get a wee little bit dirty, or the walls might get a beer or wine stain, making the graffiti un-readable. So this week prepare your self for one party (perhaps) that will be all wrapped up by midnight, so that the neigbours don’t complain, like. We do also like to advocate a little decency and cohabitational knowledge. Even after the Umbrella ran an exposé on toilet manners last week, people are still using the toilets for plate cleaning etc. There is a designated washing up space on the other side of the kitchen, so please use and and leave the loos for your nasty busines...
> information. If you know where to find it, please bring it to the infopoint. They are in heavy need for it.
> 2 pairs of glasses > 1 irish frisbee which is not a plate. please fly it back to sean feeney in ireland > 1 pair of broken raybans > assorted cutlery and eat-stuff > blue participants bracelet > red tutors bracelet > headphones > lowepro black camera bag > 1 irish clover. bad luck for the person who lost it... > 1 t-shirt saying “she’s so lucky”. don’t know about that though... > underwear. with skidmarks > assorted flip-flops.
EASA FUTURE NIGHT
IS NOW ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT EASA010 UK in Manchester INCM009 Liechtenstein
Weather report for Darfo
GO TO THIS LECTURE 2nite! DONT MISS THIS!