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Wedding woes COUPLE KEEPS SMILING, DESPITE POSTPONING WEDDING THREE TIMES Kenneth Sturtz
Brittany Hoffmann wasn’t worried in December 2019 when she learned her maid of honor was pregnant and needed a new dress for the wedding, set for March 2020. The COVID-19 virus had temporarily shuttered production overseas, but Hoffmann stayed calm and eventually secured the needed dress. “I remember thinking that was our biggest problem,” she says. Looking back, the delay overseas was a harbinger of trouble to come. Before 2020 was over, the pandemic forced Hoffmann and her fiancé, Anthony Smith, to reschedule their wedding three times: from March to August, then to March 2021, and finally to October 2021. The ordeal left some emotional bruises, but the couple remains committed to each other and to getting married.
Hoffmann, 28, and Smith, 29, met while students at SUNY Oswego. She was president of the figure skating club, which needed $17,000 to go to the U.S. Synchronized Skating Championships. He was president of the student government, which controlled the purse strings. When they ran into each other in a bar, Hoffmann gave Smith the hard pitch for the synchronized skating money. “We didn’t get that money, but I came out of it with a boyfriend,” Hoffmann says, laughing.
After graduating in 2014, Hoffmann began working overnight shifts as a television producer at CNYCentral. Smith began graduate school at Syracuse University. In June 2018, Smith surprised Hoffmann with a marriage proposal on the shore of Lake Ontario at their alma mater.
The couple settled on a long engagement, in part because they had decided to pay for the wedding themselves and wanted time to save. When they heard about the former Hotel Syracuse reopening as the Marriott Syracuse Downtown, they knew they wanted to get married there. But they weren’t sure if the venue was attainable. To their surprise, Hoffmann says a spring wedding at the hotel turned out to be more affordable than expected. They also pushed their engagement out to 2020 to leave them plenty of time to pay for everything.
The couple were optimistic they would be able to have their wedding up until two weeks beforehand. Smith traveled to Las Vegas in February for his bachelor party and in March had a second party in Central New York for friends who couldn’t make the first one. The party was the weekend before St. Patrick’s Day. The morning after, they woke up to the news that seemingly everything in the state was closing down.
“We knew that was it,” Hoffmann says.
Reluctantly, the couple began calling family, friends and their vendors. The news was somewhat of a surprise to the couple’s vendors and venue, which hadn’t yet had to deal with pandemicrelated wedding cancelations.
The next Saturday the hotel had available was Aug. 29, 2020, which was wasn’t booked because it coincided with the New York State Fair. They took the date and all their vendors were available then too.
“We’re thinking ‘Oh my god that’s so far away,’” Hoffmann says. ‘We thought we’d do a two-week shutdown and everything would be fine.”
Friends and family were supportive. They’d already paid all their vendors so the change didn’t cost much. In about 10 hours the couple had postponed their wedding, rescheduled it and called everyone to let them know. “That was stressful for a day,” Smith says. “It was one day of stress and we just rolled with it.”
Throughout the day Hoffmann maintained her composure, but a call to her florist brought her to tears. The flowers had already been ordered and half were already in transit. Hoffmann wondered what she was supposed to do with a mountain of flowers. They couldn’t be donated to nursing homes, as is typical, because of COVID. There was something especially disappointing about all those flowers sitting around the house on what was supposed to be her wedding day. In the end, the florist was able to cancel more of the order than anticipated. On March 28 – what should have been their wedding day – they picked up $500 worth of hydrangeas and greenery, made up 15 bouquets and placed them in vases around their Baldwinsville house.
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“It was sad, but we had fun,” Hoffmann says.
Joined by her fiancé, brother and mother, they had a taco party, mixed some of the signature drinks they had planned for their wedding and played a few wedding games. Their photographer sent them a box of delicious chocolate-covered strawberries. Their baker sent a special order of cupcakes. And that night Hoffmann’s bride’s maids surprised her with a video chat.
Hoffmann and Smith were soon looking toward August with anticipation. By May the number of people allowed at private gatherings had increased.
But the infection rate soon spiked again. When the state fair was canceled, their venue advised the couple to postpone yet again. The decision marked a low point. Hoffmann cried most of that weekend. The stress of picking another date mounted.
More than a few friends suggested scrapping their wedding plans, getting their money back and doing something small. While Hoffmann and Smith say the thought crossed their minds, they rejected it for two reasons. The first was that they had already paid for their wedding well in advance. They’d grown friendly with many of their vendors, who now faced the economic destruction of the pandemic.
“We couldn’t go to these people we knew and ask for the money back while they’re struggling,” Hoffmann says. “We knew we couldn’t do it.”
The other hinderance was the fact that the couple were tied to the idea of having a big wedding with all their family and friends. Hoffmann and Smith “do nothing small,” she says. They love throwing over-the-top parties and events. A friend advised Hoffmann that she would regret not having the wedding she and her fiancé had imagined together.
“We were already paid, so it was just a matter of finding a date that worked,” Hoffmann says. “So, we kept at it.”
To the couple’s surprise, all their vendors and their venue had an opening for March 27, 2021, a year after their original wedding date. They scooped the date up, confident that the world’s troubles would be contained and their wedding day safe.
But that wasn’t meant to be either. In late 2020, they began discussing the possibility of having their March wedding and reception with just 50 people. Whittling their guest list down from 150 wouldn’t be easy: Hoffmann’s father’s side of the family alone includes 75 people. The couple’s immediate family and bridal party worked out to 35 people. That left room for just 15 others.
“I was OK with that,” Hoffmann says. “At this point all I want is to wear my dress and walk down the aisle.”
When the couple discussed it, they realized the cost would be roughly the same whether they had 50 people or all their family and friends. They decided to take a chance again and reschedule their wedding once more.
“If there’s one mistake we’ve made over and over it’s that we keep not pushing far enough,” Hoffmann says. “We’ve been wrong each and every time.”
They kept the same venue and vendors and found just one open date all could make work: Oct. 15, 2021. They’ve become so close with them – especially their photographer, DJ and makeup artist – that they didn’t want to move ahead without them.
As much as their wedding ordeal has consumed their attention, the planning was done long ago and the couple has moved on in some respects. Hoffmann now works in donor relations at Syracuse University and is finishing a master’s degree. Smith is an engineer at SRC and is in the process of earning a second master’s degree. Still, Smith says he’s glad they’ll be able to have the wedding they wanted, even if it is delayed. He says they devoted so much time and effort in planning a wedding that really reflects their personalities that it would have been sad not to get to share it with their loved ones.
“Really the only difference is the day,” he says. “It’s worth holding out and waiting for.”
Hoffmann agrees wholeheartedly, though she says they’ve got to make this date work.
“That’s it though,” she says. “I’m not going to do this again.” SWM
