AskRachel Forever tax season and one home too many

Interesting fact: Lawn bowling is not, in fact, the same as bocce ball. This is evidenced in the way that one sport involves cursing the uneven grass in the public park, and the other involves doing so but with a different style of underhand toss.

Dear Rachel,

My so-called friend has been rejecting my social invitations lately. She finally spilled that it’s because she’s been working on her taxes. Fair nuff. So I asked about a weekend a month from now. Still taxes. What about after April 15? Still taxes. I thought she was dodging me, but her husband deadpan swears she’s actually working on their taxes. Now I can’t sleep at night wondering what she could possibly be doing with three months of her life that a couple hundred dollars and H&R Block couldn’t fix?

– Tax Evasion

Dear Artless Dodgee,

I want to say that your friend is just lying to you, and her husband is oblivious and/or an accomplice to the act. But I have a friend doing the EXACT

Community Yoga, 4:30-5:30 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted.

Bluegrass Jam, 5:30 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

Author Event & Book Signing: Scott Graham, 68 p.m., Maria’s Bookshop, 960 Main Ave.

Jason Thies plays, 6-9 p.m., The Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Open Mic Night, 7 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Ott., The Monogahela and Smiley Coyote play, 8 p.m., Animas City Theatre.

Wednesday08

A Unique Perspective from a Son of Holocaust Survivors, 5-6 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Path to Homeownership, 5:30-6:30 p.m., The Wells Group, 1130 Main Ave.

SAME THING, and I REFUSE to believe she’s evading moi. Maybe these people actually keep all their receipts, and it takes that long to sort them all? I wouldn’t know. I never actually keep receipts, although I claim everything I do is a write-off because it might appear in an Ask Rachel sooner or later.

– Like these Gucci glasses, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Now that we have second home owners in Durango, I heard a rumor that they want lawn bowling, bocce ball courts, badmitten, outdoor racquetball walls, just like in Arizona and Texas. Your thoughts on this retirement movement to Durango. They have said pickle ball, okay, but how about us who have these sports down south. City Council be prepared.

– Durango Kid

Dear Unaccompanied Minor,

“Now that we have second home owners in Durango?” Dude, there have been plethoric second home owners in Durango since my parents were rocking out to Badmitten on the phonograph. If

Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

“Creating Color in the Chaco World: Spatial Histories of Paint Production at Pueblo Bonito,” hosted by San Juan Basin Archaeological Society, 7-8:30 p.m., FLC’s Lyceum room.

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.

Karaoke Roulette, 8 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Ongoing

“Tracks: Image & Sound: A Solo Exhibition by Jenn Rawling,” Studio & Gallery, 1027 Main Ave. Exhibit runs thru March 4.

Whimsical Wonderland Gallery, 12 noon-6 p.m., Tues.-Sat., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Tyrannosaurs – Meet the Family, Farmington Museum, 3041 E. Main St. Exhibit runs thru April 26.

you don’t want a racquetball wall in your hood, you just gotta start gumming up the city gubmint works (not hard) until these second home owners die and the new wave of second home owners come swooping in with a newfangled sport that might be more to your liking.

– Hold serve, Rachel

The Hive Indoor Skate Park, open skate and skate lessons. For schedule and waiver, go to www.thehivedgo.org

Upcoming

62nd annual Student Juried Exhibition, opening reception March 9, 4:30-6 p.m., The Art Gallery at Fort Lewis College. Exhibit runs until April 8.

Durango Chamber of Commerce – Durango Rocks, March 9, 5 p.m., FLC’s Community Concert Hall.

Friends of the Library Spring Book Sale, March 10-11, 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Free Legal Clinic, March 10, 4-5 p.m., Ignacio Library, 470 Goddard Ave.

Merely Players present “The Lifespan of a Fact,” March 10-11, 14, 16-18 at 7 p.m. and March 12 & 19 at 2 p.m. Merely Underground, 789 Tech Center Dr.

20MOONS presents “When to Hold On,” March 10-11, 7 p.m., Stillwater Music, 1316 Main Ave., Suite C.