Feeling Frazzled? The doctor is in!

Reduce holiday stress with helpful tips from a psychologist

By Andrea Busche

Amid the chaos of purchasing gifts, baking treats, and attending parties, many of us don’t feel too jolly around the holiday season. Additionally, many of us don’t meet the criteria for having the “perfect family,” or we may even feel sad as we grieve a lost loved one more intensely over the holidays.

If you find the holidays are more stressful than restful, have no fear. The doctor is in! Dr. Carolyn Phelps, large family who is happy to see each other. And, that’s not always the case.”

And, when it comes to departed loved ones, it doesn’t matter if they passed away last week or 20 years ago; we often feel their loss most profoundly around the holidays.

“If you’ve lost important people in your life, we notice their physical absence more acutely during the holiday season,” Phelps said.

Whether you find yourself comparing yourself to “the Joneses,” are part of a dysfunctional family, or different ritual that’s meaningful to you. Make choices that represent your values.”

Everything in moderation

The holidays are a season of bounty and joy. While it’s definitely appropriate to indulge a little, it’s important to set boundaries for yourself when it comes to sleep, food, alcohol, your holiday budget, and even your time.

“For many of us, the holidays involve food,” Phelps said. “Rejoice in what’s good, but do so in moderation. And bring wisdom to your use of alcohol.”

Rest is our body’s way of rejuvenating itself.

Phelps advised, “Get a good amount of sleep every night, and set limits with your time. You should ask yourself, ‘Do I want to attend this party, or is it just another chore?’”

And when it comes to your holiday spending, be mindful of your limits.

“If your holidays involve spending money, stick to a budget,” Phelps said. “If you don’t want to spend money, you can volunteer instead of giving gifts. There are lots of ways to celebrate the spirit of the holidays.”

Practice self-care

While we should be treating ourselves well year-round, it’s especially important during the busy holiday season. Phelps recommends incorporating daily self-care, such as yoga, meditation, knitting, reading, or anything that brings you peace, for 30 minutes a day.

“Don’t abandon self-care around the holidays because it’s a busy time,” she said. “We need to continue to treat ourselves with tenderness and kindness.”

Reach out

Perhaps you are someone who takes the holidays in stride and enjoys every moment of this special time of year. If so, count your blessings.

But if you know someone who is feeling sad or stressed out during the holidays, take a moment to reach out and show you care.

“If you know someone who struggles around the holidays, reach out to them in a way that is meaningful and supportive,” Phelps said.

This advice is intended for everyone in your life – from friends and family, to coworkers and even the cashier where you purchase your groceries.

“We can expand our notion of family to go beyond just the people we are related to by blood or marriage,” Phelps said. “And that is the true meaning of community.” D