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Drake Mag Winter 2025

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DRAKE MAG WINTER 2025 | VOL. 65, ISSUE 1

S Animal House: House It's Time to Host Your Own Rager

AI Love Affair: Affair Is ChatGPT Your New Hookup?


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Letter from the Welcome to Drake Mag, where we’re romanticizing an unromantic world.

EDIToR

In this issue, we accept the world we live in and re-learn how to survive in it. We highlight the little details like socks and tights (p. 22) and rediscover the joys of connection through house parties (p. 40). Whether your 400-square-foot apartment is a nightmare (p. 18) or the Midwest chill has frozen you up to your ears (p. 8), we found ways to help you embrace it all. The darkness might feel overpowering, but it doesn’t have to invade your dreams (p. 14), your relationships (p. 38), or your next interview (p. 16). If every health trend has you spiraling down a black hole, we’ve debunked the biggest myths to put you at ease (p. 10). We can’t erase the past, or ignore our future — when we accept that, we take on the challenge to stay steadfast in ourselves. I’m proud to say that this year’s executive team is an all-female staff. Talk about light in the darkness! To the most talented design and photography team, this publication would not exist without you. I’m in constant awe of your work and raw talent. To my editorial team, you leave me speechless (and words are kind of my thing). I’ve never worked with a group that is so different yet effortlessly blends together. Thank you for the late meetings and the best Slack reactions. A special thanks to Jeff Inman, for being so ingrained in our process. You push this publication to new heights. And to all of our readers and supporters, you’re our light.

Words Meghan Barnett Salwa Hamade Peyton McCabe Kylie Petty Stella Pihlstrom Liz Rosa Sophia Juhler Seth Coughlin Maria Moore Caroline Siebels-Lindquist Anna Greenwaldt Amanda Favazza Lily Fleming Nicholas Jackson Molly McCracken Lainey Arrol Olivia Speers Natalie Onkst

Photo Kaitlyn Wood Sophia Juhler Maria Moore Claire Mianecki Mara Somogye Renee Vig Victoria Powell Design Ava Hess Ryley Roudabush Molly McCracken Megan McKinney Mara Somogye Maria Moore Lauren Hafemeyer Stella Pihlstrom

Associate Editor Stella Pihlstrom Liz Rosa Caroline Siebels-Lindquist

Editor-In-Chief Amanda Favazza

Assistant Editor Sophia Juhler

Photo Director Kaitlyn Wood

Art Director Jordan Wyer

Digital Media Director Managing Editor Melodie Yang Kylie Petty


Table of

Contents Bits & Pieces Your love is written in the stars

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Four picture-perfect Des Moines photo ops

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Warmth without the bulk

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Find the best game for every situation

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Wellness Professionals (not TikTok) give us the inside scoop on gut health

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Grab your tissues and shed that negative energy

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The care and keeping of you(r genitals)

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Make your dreams more vivid and remember them longer

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Stand tall and take up space

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Aesthetics Making your house a home no matter the square footage

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How to dress for every first date

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Choose both fashion and function this winter with stylish socks and tights

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Where's the soul in AI art?

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Culture Taking back your time and life from devices

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Olives and Oranges: How we're turning relationships into games to be won

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Gen Z is missing out on party culture

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Features Reconnect in a new way: a dinner party

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New twists on an old fashioned classic

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Sprinkle some sparkle in to your winter wardrobe

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Busting the myth of designer babies

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"Straight edge" is more than sobriety— it's a movement

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Who's got you smiling like that? An AI chatbot

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BITS & PIECES

Words Stella Pihlstorm Design Mara Somogye

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

Don’t judge the free-spirited Aquarius. Life is short, get weird. Engage with their passions and you’re sure to catch their eye.

“You must be an artist with the way you drew me in.” Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

Don’t be afraid to get sappy with the idealist Pisces. They’ve been waiting their whole life for that perfect romcom moment.

“I could swim in your eyes all day… Do you mind if I dive in?” Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Don’t take things too seriously with the energetic Aries. Have fun and don’t hide it. They’re in it for a good time, and — if you treat them right — a long time.

“Did someone turn up the temperature, or is it just you?” Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Meet the stubborn Taurus where they’re at. Pushing them too far out of their comfort zone will only end in disaster.

“Are you a bull? Because you make me horn-y.” Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

With the up-for-anything Gemini, be ready for a multi-location night out. With their sharp wit, you’ll never be bored.

“I’ve been around the world, but the only sight I want to see is you.” 6

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Libra’s are a good judge of character, so don’t bother trying to be someone you’re not. Dorky but genuine is better than a fake sweet talker.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Offer a sympathetic ear to the sensitive Cancer. Once they know you care, they’re in it for the long haul.

“Yes, it hurt when I fell for you. Kiss it better?” Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

Never dull the shine of the charismatic Leo. If you can keep up with this ambitious sign, they might just buy you a drink.

“I’m gonna need sunglasses because your smile is blinding.” Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

For the analytical and organized Virgo, time is money. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and skip the small talk.

“Is your name Excel? Because I’d like to spread you over my sheets.”

“If loving you is a crime, you can be judge, jury, and executioner.” Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

Don’t be intimidated by the mysterious Scorpio, they’re a sweetie under that facade. Get ready to get deep, and don’t be surprised if their next song is about you.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Because you’re smoking hot.” Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

Keep up the pace when talking to the curious Sagittarius. Their adventurous spirit will take you from their latest rock climbing trip to their favorite book in a short chat.

“I take my drinks on the rocks, but our relationship would never be rocky.” Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

Chivalry isn’t dead, or at least Capricorns don’t think it should be. For the dependable Caps, holding the door and tipping your waiter is as sexy as it gets.

“Can you look at my phone for me? Something’s wrong… it doesn’t have your number in it.”


picture YOURSELF in dsm

Want more grandeur? The Iowa State Capitol is an architectural masterpiece. A favorite is the State Law Library on the second floor. Its Victorian-style architecture, spiral staircases, and towering bookshelves offer prestige vibes that will definitely take your pics up a notch. There’s even a human skeleton standing in a corner if you’re feeling frisky.

Words Sophia Juhler Photo Kaitlyn Wood Design Mara Somogye

Whether you need a new pic to spice up your dating profile, are looking to spruce up your Instagram grid, or just looking for some fun ways to spruce up a scrapbook, there are plenty of spots in Des Moines that make the perfect backdrop.

Sherman Hill, Des Moines’ oldest residential neighborhood, has a variety of stately late-Victorian mansions and well-manicured lawns.

Des Moines is a city of murals. Supporting local artists can also mean supplying your feed for free. Claire Sedovic, a visiting instructor at Grand View University, painted an interactive mural on 700 Locust Street. Des Moines community members were able to help paint a collection of objects — from goldfinches to milkshakes — that represent the Des Moines area.

“[It] offers a good escape from how Iowa typically looks by offering a tropical environment," says Cory McElree, a professional photographer. FYI: The only greenery in Iowa isn’t corn. The World Food Prize Foundation’s Hall of Laureates features a stunning garden. The garden is free to visit and offers a variety of photo-ready areas, like a gorgeous fountain, quaint stone benches, and a variety of flowers and greenery.

“I wanted it to be something where people could take ownership of a specific illustration or a specific image or thing within the mural,” Sedovic says. The Greater Des Moines Botanical Center has over 12 acres of beautiful gardens featuring tropical plants, succulents, a water lily pond, and grounds full of seasonal tulips and roses, all framed by the Des Moines skyline.

Beaverdale is another Des Moines neighborhood with potential. The brick homes and tree lined streets provide the perfect opportunity for candid neighborhood walks. You don’t need to book a flight to Fiji for some extra likes. Des Moines has landscapes dripping with character and history — and are ready for you to pose.

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BITS & PIECES

E ar

Warmer Edit

Words Meghan Barnett | Design Molly McCracken

You may not think style and glamour are still possible in the harshest, windiest, and snowiest of weather — but you’d be mistaken. You can stay warm, keep your ears from getting windchapped, and avoid the worst hat hair with the perfect ear coverings to stay cozy and stylish when the cold sets in.

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“I need to walk outside, but I can’t ruin this makeup and hair.” Pull out that scarf in the back of your closet, fold it around your neck and pull it over your ears, sitting lightly atop your head. You’ll look smart and chic — even if it’s cheetah print from 2008 — while keeping the flurries from wrecking havoc on your curls and your eyelashes.

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“I want to stay active during the winter, but outdoor exercise is too chilly.” Toss your hair up and throw on a sports headband. It will keep you toasty without overheating you on your run around town, and wicks away moisture as you break a sweat in the dead of winter, you physical powerhouse you.

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“I want a way to increase my style while remaining practical in winter months.” Earmuffs are the winner here. Spice up your old reliable coat and boots with bright colors, patterns, and even extravagant furs.

“I’m looking for a garment with multipurpose action.” You can’t go wrong with Swedish earbands. They’re wider than regular headbands and often woven from wool in fun patterns. Keep your hair out of your eyes, tackle your broomball opponents, and stay warm on your way to work all in one neat package.

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“I want to stay warm at the hometown reunion, but it’s cold outside.” In addition to your newest Black Friday finds, embrace the chill and commit to a beanie that matches your color pallette. It’s the perfect option to keep you warm on the walk home and look good doing it.


Words Peyton McCabe Photo Sophia Juhler Design Megan McKinney

When it’s your turn to pick the family game night game - Hues and Cues Don’t get stuck playing the sameold Sorrys and Yahtzees. Hues and Cues offers the perfect easy-going environment for a family game night. One person chooses a specific hue and uses non-conventional words to describe the color (for example, “Glacier”), leaving another person to try and guess which hue they were describing. “It creates fun, friendly discussions and you get to know more about people and how they kind of view the world,” Tarnowski says.

When you have time to “kill” (literally) - Scythe - This Risk-esque game is full of strategy, combat, and conquering: perfect for hours of releasing friendly (or not friendly) pent-up rage. With each player having their own hidden goal, the game is extremely replayable. Along with battling, there is also building structures and farming resources to make this game a full war experience.

When the girls are coming over - For the Girls - Coming up with ideas for a girls' night doesn’t have to be a stress-fest. Gameplay is as easy as rolling a die, picking a card from the corresponding color deck, and following the instructions. “We played it at every bachelorette party and for way too long,” says Annalise Tarnowski, co-owner of the Des Moines board game lounge and cafe. With card deck categories like “Most Likely to” and “If You’ve Ever,” For the Girls will take you back through your friend groups’ epic highs and lows, and might make some new memories with the help of the “Dare” deck.

When you need a non-awkward icebreaker - Wavelength - Using a spectrum of two opposing categories (example: hot and cold), a player is given a target area between the two. They pick an item that they think corresponds with that area, while other players try to guess. “You have the base game, but then you have the conversations that it creates outside of the game,” Tandeski says. “That’s the whole point of the game: to create these touch points where you get to know the people you’re playing with better.” And the spinner dial is super fun to play with.

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WELLNESS

Let’s talk about bloat, bacteria, and breakdowns.

Words Salwa Hamade Design Stella Pihlstrom

The internet has a new obsession, and it’s all about healing your gut. It’s supposedly the magic fix for perfect skin, vanishing anxiety, and balancing hormones. Some claims are true, while others are overstated and filled with buzzwords. So, what’s the deal with gut health?

Healthy Gut, Healthy You

“Probiotics are the good bacteria,” Ballantini-Clements says. “Prebiotics are the food for the probiotics.”

Allysa Ballantini-Clements, a registered dietitian, says a healthy gut is linked to feeling fuller longer, regular bathroom trips, heart health, immunity, blood sugar control, and even your mood.

Payton Vest, a registered dietician, says fermented foods like kefir and yogurt contain a lot of natural probiotics. It’s important to note that when making a sudden diet switch might upset your stomach. To prevent discomfort, slowly add a variety of fiber-rich foods to your diet while increasing water intake, allowing your body to adjust.

If you feel bloated after meals, hit an afternoon slump, or battle late-night DoorDash cravings, you should check in with your gut.

Think of the gut as a garden. Whether it’s the specific plants, the environment, or overall biodiversity, each garden is unique. The gut microbiome hosts trillions of bacteria. When you eat, they eat too.

Meet the Players

If you’ve ever had a midnight date with the toilet after eating Taco Bell, you’re not alone. A 7-layer burrito might hit the spot, but the beans are loaded with fiber that your gut might not be used to. Regularly eating ultra-processed food high in sugar, salt, and fat can starve and deplete the healthy bacteria your body relies on to break down prebiotics, like fiber.

“Start low, go slow,” BallantiniClements says. Soluble fiber, like oats, apples, and lentils, promotes satiety, while insoluble fiber, like whole grains, broccoli, and nuts, makes it easier to use the restroom. For a healthy gut, aim for a healthy balance of both.

“Quick" Fixes

Forget the internet hacks —real gut health relies on small, consistent changes that support your body and align with your lifestyle. Despite flashy labels and loud marketing, trendy products usually don’t live up to their health claims. Prebiotic sodas like Olipop and Poppi are trendy, but O’shea says don’t start drinking them unless you’re trying to break a soda habit, because water is the healthier choice either way. “At the end of the day, they are still soda,” Ballantini-Clements says. “Moderation is still key.”

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Fiber supplements can be beneficial, but won’t replace a whole-foods diet with minimally processed foods and sugar, Vest says. Prioritize food first, and supplements second.

Don't Overthink It

Remember, there’s no such thing as magical food. Eat well, exercise more, sleep longer, and less stress keeps your gut happy. “When the brain is [stressed] or overwhelmed, you feel it in your gut as well,” says Dr. Noreen O’Shea, a boardcertified family medicine physician. That gut feeling that’s nudging you to take better care of your gut? Listen to it.

Prebiotic Food: Live Probiotics: • Cultured • Corn • Dark chocolate yogurts • Kefir • Chickpeas • Sauerkraut • Avocados • Kimchi • Oats • Tempeh • Legumes • Miso soup • Leafy greens • Berries • Seeds and nuts • Sourdough bread


The Joy of Crying Embrace those hard days with a good cry. Everybody cries. Some of us are moved to tears at a moment's notice, but others might take more than an ASPCPA commercial to get the waterworks flowing. But no matter the frequency, tears are a part of life. If we get some dust in our eyes, sure, it makes sense to shed a few tears. When you’re an infant, crying is the only way to communicate. According to research from the University of Alabama at Birmingham, crying usually happens when “psychological demands exceed some sensoryaffective threshold.” No matter the reason, crying can be a major emotional release.

Words Olivia Speers and Stella Pihlstrom Photo Kaitlyn Wood | Design Megan McKinney

“A lot of times what we need to do is let the energy out, because we're suppressing [it and] saying, ‘oh, I don't wanna feel it,” says life coach Jen Slagle. “If we cry, we typically feel better.” There are certain times, like weddings and funerals, when it’s “normal” to cry, but outside of those occasions, many fear that crying makes them weak or overdramatic. “We don't actually talk about how we feel because we don't wanna feel it,” Slagle says. But denying your emotions will only make them simmer under the surface and result in a bigger

If you’re looking to have the perfect cry session, we recommend: • Settle somewhere cozy with low lighting, soft blankets, and tissues at the ready. • Put on some comfortable clothes, tie up your hair if it’s long, and remove any makeup or jewelry to keep stimulation low. • Have a full water bottle to keep yourself hydrated, and some comforting snacks to munch on. • If you need help getting the tears flowing, choose a good (sad) movie or playlist to get you in your feels. • Keep things under control by guiding your breathing — if you’re hyperventilating or feel yourself spiraling toward an anxiety attack, that crying sesh isn’t productive. If you’re in need of support, consider reaching out to someone you trust or finding an online hotline like The Hope Line.

blow up later down the line. Unfortunately, this is especially common for men who grow up being socialized that crying makes them “girly.” This often results in any outward expressions of hurt being angry or even violent. “If that [emotion is] bottled up … it can have a negative effect on your mood, mental health, behavior, sleep — everything,” says physician assistant Jen Stegen. If bottling up your emotions is so bad for you, crying must be the solution, right? While it depends on the situation, finding some way to let out your feelings will always be better than keeping them in.

A 2015 study at the University of Rijeka found that most people usually feel worse right after crying, but significantly better than they did prior to crying about an hour later. “Sometimes you have to just let it go and not be worried that it's a really ugly cry,” Slagle says. Ultimately, if you’re sad, or stressed, or just think you could use a good cry, it’s an amazing option to get out some of that pent-up energy.

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WELLNESS

DOWN-THERE CARE Creating a safe and healthy routine for all private parts Words Olivia Speers Design Stella Pihlsrom

From the boom of the 70s Playboy bush, to the waxed and buffed pornstars of the 90s and early 2000s, health and grooming for our genitalia has always been a space for money makers to profit off of trends and insecurities. Apps like Instagram and Tiktok have created an echochamber of what is and isn’t healthy for our down-there squares. Things like boric acids, pineapple juice, and Kourtney Kardashian gummies fill the market with endless amounts of what might make someone “smell better” or “balance pH,” rather than help their actual health. THE CARE AND KEEPING OF YOU Products are advertised to promote health and wellness, when in reality most vitamins and products — especially those not prescribed by a doctor — are often ineffective or potentially harmful. Just because a product has gone viral doesn't necessarily mean it's right for your body. “You don't want to overly clean because it can lead to problems such as yeast infections,” says Janae Brown, a nurse practitioner and family medicine care provider at Unity Point Health in Des Moines. “Each person is different; it's like washing hair. I might wash my hair [every day] while someone might need to wash theirs once a week.” Cleanliness is one of the most important things to remember when caring for your genitals. Pubic hair, vaginal discharge, and our urethras are all the body’s natural way of maintaining cleanliness. 12

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The vagina, for example, is a naturally acidic microbiome that kills potentially harmful organisms that alter the vagina’s pH. Sexual intercourse, aging, and certain cleaning habits can alter its natural balance. Finding a safe way to care for this delicate system is important. “Vitamins and supplements are often just additives to what our body already creates naturally,” Brown says. “If you’re lacking in certain nutrients, then consult your doctors about those concerns, rather than making assumptions.” BACK TO BASICS Our body has a natural process to keep us healthy, but a few simple additions can aid the process. Soap and water are the main components — not products claiming to make you smell like fresh baked cookies. “Fragrance is a big thing that can cause irritation and some people will get contact dermatitis from it,” says dermatologist, Dr. Hannah Kopelman. Fragrance free is the safest bet for everybody. You’re not meant to smell like roses or cologne down there, anyway, and the skin around genitalia is thinner, “so it’s obviously more sensitive,” Kopelman says.

“[Genitalia] is such an off putting topic for many people. Getting fair information out there that is also inclusive of non-traditional bodies was difficult before, and it’s especially difficult now.” — Allison Mitch

IGNORE TRENDS Many of the genital care and grooming tactics are rooted in shame, and how what's natural to our bodies — such as different sizes, types, and smells — is wrong. “For young people, including young adults and college aged people, its peers and social media [who influence how people think they should care for their bodies],” says Allison Mitch, a certified sexual counselor. “Social media is great, and peers can be great, but oftentimes we don’t necessarily know the training of individuals and it can be a perpetuation of cultural bias.” One person tells their friend that this new pH balancing cream will change their life, unknowingly passing on a pH disrupter. And the cycle circles faster on the social media stage. “Bodies are becoming even more political than they already were, so it’s challenging to access accurate and ethical information,” Mitch says. “[Genitalia] is such an off putting topic for many people. Even getting fair information out there for people and is also inclusive of non-traditional bodies, it was difficult before [our current political era] and it’s especially difficult now.” The most effective way to ensure the safety and cleanliness of your genitals is to consult a doctor. If you’re looking for reliable resources, a primary care provider or someone who specializes in genital care, such as a gynecologist or a urologist, is the most reliable answer.

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WELLNESS

Reimagine Your Dreams How to make your dreams dreamy.

If you keep having dreams about your work crush or are plagued with nightmares about walking into class naked, sleep professionals provide the mind magic to help you understand and control your subconscious.

Remembering Your Dreams

Robert Waggoner, author of two lucid dreaming books and founder of the Lucid Dreaming Foundation, says you spend more time in dreamland than you think. “During sleep, we spend almost 23% of the time in the dream state,” Waggoner says. Yet, many people can’t remember their dreams. A simple fix could be to keep a journal. Immediately after you wake up, write down whatever you remember about your dream. “Keep your eyes closed and keep your body still,” says Ken Paller, a professor of psychology at Northwestern University who researches lucid dreaming. “Let your mind drift back to what was on your mind before you woke up.” At first, you might not remember much, but if you journal regularly, you can train your brain to remember your dreams more frequently and vividly. A dream journal can also be fun to look back on and read about dreams you may have long since forgotten about.

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Words Sophia Juhler Design Ava Hess

Manifesting Dreams

Before bed, repeat a mantra to yourself. A study by Deirdre Barrett, Harvard professor and psychologist, revealed that if you tell yourself repeatedly that you will dream about the solution to a problem you're facing while you fall asleep, you will be more likely to dream up a solution. Using this same strategy, you can also think of a loved one who has passed that you wish to see again or something you want to experience in your dreams—flying Superman-style through New York, or swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck. All you need to do is convince your brain to make you dream about it. This can be therapeutic, allowing you to spend time with people or do things you can no longer (or ever) do.


Lucid Dreaming

A simple way to induce lucid dreaming is through “suggestion,” which is similar to reciting what you want to dream about before bed.

“To be a lucid dreamer, you need to realize that you’re dreaming while inside the dream,” Waggoner says. “Then you can begin to act with conscious intention and make decisions about what you wish to do.”

For example, try: “Tonight in my dreams, I will be more critically aware and when I notice anything strange, I will realize I am dreaming.” It might help you finally understand that complex concept you read about, or realize your true feelings about that one toxic friend.

With practice, you can become aware of the fact that you’re dreaming. You may even be able to control your dream.

According to Waggoner, lucid dreaming has tons of cool benefits, like promoting emotional and psychological healing and learning to engage with your unconscious mind directly.

Once you’ve realized you are in fact dreaming, stay calm. If you get too excited, you might wake yourself up. Repeat to yourself, “I am dreaming.” This will help keep you from forgetting and losing lucidity.

“For nightmare sufferers, it can help to know that you’re not completely at the mercy of what happens in a dream,” Paller says. “When you become lucid, you can also begin to exercise some control over what happens.” While lucid dreaming, your dreams can be a safe place to try new things and overcome fears. You can also work through problems you’re facing in the waking world.

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WELLNESS

POWER POSES

The POWER of a Pose Taking up space and emitting confidence through your form

You’re about to enter an interview. It’s for an opportunity you’re really excited about. You’ve done your research. You feel ready to answer any question. Then, five minutes before, you start to feel anxious. It’s completely normal, and nothing could’ve prevented this, but your confidence starts to dip. Suddenly, you get up, stand in a Wonder Woman-like pose, hands

Words Natalie Onkst Photo Renee Vig Design Megan McKinney

on hips, face pointed toward the horizon, and your breathing returns to normal. This is the effect of a power pose.

What Are Power Poses?

“A power pose, in its simplest sense, is a physical stance that you can inhabit that helps build feelings of confidence, power, and presence,” says Alyssa Anne Austin, the CEO of Poised and Professional, a coaching business for women in the workplace. When building her framework of power poses for her clients, Austin attributes most of her understanding to Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy. Cuddy popularized the use and study of power poses in 2012 during her TED Talk, “Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are,” and later through her book Presence.

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Austin combined Cuddy’s methods with the acting teachings of Michael Chekhov, an actor, director, and theatre practitioner, by using gesture work as a starting point for her clients.

“Catching this tendency, and reclaiming your sense of ‘hereness’ – which can be through your posture – can benefit how present you are and how you are showing up.”

Gesture work — standing up straight, hands on your hips, tilting your chin upwards — can produce feelings of confidence. Expanding your body when you are feeling uncomfortable is the first step to finding a pose that makes you feel good about yourself.

Bono suggests that if you’re feeling anxious or nervous before an interview or big presentation, take a second to go to the bathroom and ask yourself, “could I stand a little taller?” or “could I walk with a little bit more confidence?” This helps train your mind to think more confidently.

Psychological Benefits

Power poses are largely seen as a physical phenomenon, but there’s psychology behind them. “The mind affects the body and the body affects the mind,” says Tim Bono, an assistant dean and lecturer in psychological and brain sciences at Washington University in St. Louis, MO. “The body is sending feedback to the brain, and that will lead the brain to adopt corresponding attitudes and ideas and emotions.” Essentially, our posture affects our brains. Bono says, if we were to clench our fists and furrow our brow, it can lead to us feeling tense, just like our muscles. By opening our bodies, we’re allowing them to relax and, as Bono puts it, “face whatever challenges might be in front of us.”

Using Power Poses Everywhere “When under pressure, it’s natural to shrink or to contract within ourselves.,” says Tom Loncar, a coach in fostering psychological flexibility and leadership development.

This confidence can also be translated outside of the workforce. Doing power poses before a first date, a sports competition, or before a big test can help ease any anxieties. Austin personally finds power poses to be effective before she steps in an audition room. “The time right before [an audition] is so crucial to take ownership... I know that getting on my feet and doing things like power poses or physical drills allow me to feel more relaxed,” Austin says. Austin admits that it can be awkward to perform a power pose in the middle of a waiting room, but beginners can start practicing for at least ten seconds a day as a good starting point. All you really need to do is be curious and brave, and don’t forget to smile! “It isn't so much a power pose as it is a physical signal in the body. It's just smiling. That's like a super small thing that you can do anywhere,” Austin says.

Before interviews, Austin recommends these five poses for beginners: • “The Wonder Woman Pose,” standing feet planted with arms at the side. • “Vanna White” is gesturing like the Wheel of Fortune host with open arms. • “The Victory” by raising your hands in the air like you are celebrating. • “The Salutation” involves expanding your arms and firmly planting your feet.

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AESTHETICS

Small Space, Big Style

Decorating an apartment on a budget

Words Anna Greenwaldt Photos Kaitlyn Wood Design Lauren Hafemeyer

Decorating an apartment is tricky. It can be messy and full of half-baked ideas waiting to be hung up with a Command Strip. Never mind the debacles with landlords about the rules and regulations of a rental property. You deserve to come home to a space that tells you, ‘Come in, relax.’ Here are some renter friendly options to personalize every space.

Starting Off

Start with inspiration. Think about what kind of interiors you’ve liked in the past. “Go online [for inspiration], ” says Sharon Larkins, an interior designer in St. Paul, Minn. “[These types of media] can show inspirational photos and [there’s a moment when you] say, ‘Ooh, I like the look of that.’” These inspirations can give you a direction for where you want to start.

Find a Theme

“First of all, you have to understand your preferences,” says Garima Gautam, an interior designer and influencer, @ my_apartment_life on Instagram. “What kind of colors do you like? You can always look at your wardrobe to see what kind of colors you are wearing.” Your colors represent you; claim your space with throw pillows, blankets, rugs, or desk trinkets in your favorite hues.

Stick With It

You may think you have to sacrifice some aspects for the renting lifestyle, but you have options. “Peel and stick wallpaper [is useful],” Gautam says. “In my kitchen, I hated the backsplash that came with the apartment… I used a peel-and-stick tile [and it gave] a completely fresh look to my kitchen.” Many of the peel-and-stick wallpapers, flooring, and backsplashes are reasonably priced, come in a variety of patterns to choose from, and are easy to apply. It leaves no annoying residue and looks like it was never there — and you’ll get your security deposit back.

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Embrace Your Interests

Shelving, whether built-in or an Ikea find, can enhance a space. Fill them with anything from trinkets to candles. “[Little touches should be] something that feels authentic,” Larkins says. “[It can be a] little vintage tray on top of a stack of books [or] leaving your leather journal out.” These touches can create a homey and lived-in feeling without feeling too cluttered.

More Light, More Life

Good lighting is crucial to creating a welcoming, homey environment. Change out the bright lights for bulbs that emit a soft, yellow glow.

Cover Those Walls

Hanging photos on your walls is an easy way to feel more at home. “You don't have to live in a bare home,” Gautam says. “It is your home, after all.” It can be large pictures of friends and family, or your own artistic gallery. Use frames sourced from your local thrift or retail store. Stores with photo printing services, like Walgreens, provide poster printing, so you can affordably adorn your walls with your favorite bands and movies.

While pondering ways to bring life into your apartment, consider adding plants. Hang them off windowsills or balconies — there is always a place for greenery. Cute pots and planters are easy to come by. DIY your own from thrifted glassware, or paint a cup.

Slow Down, There Is No Rush

“Do it in your own way, and you will start loving it eventually,” Gautam says. “Take your time and do not rush the process.” It doesn’t need to happen all at once, take the time to find pieces you like.

Adding a mirror in a simple corner can make your room feel less confining and more spacious. Just make sure to use wall safe hangers and be mindful of sticky Command Strips.

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AESTHETICS

LooK love your

Words, Photo, Design Maria Moore

First impressions matter — dress accordingly.

Your clothes are all over the floor. Your friends try to console you, but it seems the perfect fit for your first date with that hottie is impossible to find.

“You can tell a story in your outfits, and that helps a lot with first impressions,” says Jacob Galos, a costume and freelance designer.

This guide will help narrow down your options. You'll know what to wear on a first date to feel confident — no matter the occasion.

But remember, the best thing to wear on a first date is whatever makes you feel hot and confident.

1

COFFEE RUN OR STROLL THROUGH TOWN

For a quick stroll or sit down with a cup of joe, keep things simple and breathable. Try some athleisure, or some wornin denim with a fitted shirt depending on your style. Wearing comfortable shoes that won't hurt your feet when walking is important, too. You never know, a quick coffee date could turn into a five hour-long walk and yap session.

MOVIE NIGHT

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If you’re hitting the movies, comfy outfits are the way to go. Matching sets are great for movie nights. They give you a more relaxed look with enough cohesion to give you the boost of confidence you need. Avoid outfits that are stiff or too tight; you don’t want to be pulling on your clothes all night. Movie theaters are made to sit close, and with that cozy outfit, you'll be ready to grab a blanket and snuggle up. 20

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Wearing the right colors can also make or break a look. For a more refined and sophisticated look, go with darker colors like navy blue or black. If you're looking to be a little more bold, add a pop of your favorite color to show the real you.

Fir s

tD

ate

Fa sh

ion

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OUT TO DINNER

Here is where you can get a little fancy. A cocktail dress with heels or a button-up and slacks is perfect attire. Show them you like them enough to dig out your Sunday best and spend the extra hour primping. Making sure your outfit is tailored and fits right is key when deciding what to wear. “[Tailoring] helps with proportions,” Galos says. “It helps with the confidence and outfit, because it fits well, it sits right and it's not uncomfortable.”

4

DRINKS AFTER WORK

If you plan on going out after work, don't stress. You can turn a nine-to-five outfit into a chic going-out outfit with ease. When getting dressed that morning, plan ahead: pack a change of shoes and top if needed. Before you leave the office, shed your blazer and tie for a less stuffy appearance. Or embrace the work attire and style your blazer as a dress or that Patagonia vest as a layering piece over your button down. “Dress appropriate for the occasion, and don’t overthink it,” says stylish college student Ann McCarthy, who’s seen her share of first dates. “When in doubt, always go for what you’re most comfortable and confident in.”

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AESTHETICS

Footsie Words Molly McCracken Photo Mara Somogye Design Ava Hess

As winter approaches and temperatures drop, we often turn to our socks and tights to help keep our bottom-half warm. When you stop thinking of socks as a necessity and more as an accessory, they can step out of the shadows and into the spotlight. Here’s how to upgrade your winterweather outfits from hip to toe for any occasion.

Bring in Bold Colors

An easy way to elevate your outfit is with a pop of color. When you stop limiting yourself to basic white socks and fleshtoned tights, you’ll discover unique wardrobe combinations. “My go-to has been an olive green [sock] in a brown or a red look,” says Jacob Galos, a seasoned costume designer. “Or a fun, colorful opaque tight — something that either matches or complements — like a purple on purple, or green and orange really mesh well.” If you want to make a statement, choose a shade not featured in your outfit so your ankles truly pop. A bright pink with an overly blue outfit can be the added touch you need to make your look go from drab to fab. For a more refined look, match your stockings' color to one or two accessories, like a bag, hat, or belt, to tie the whole ensemble together.

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Play with Patterns & Textures

If you want to take things a step further, patterns are the way to go. From simple stripes and polka dots to complex cartoony prints, interesting designs can be an upgrade for any look. “I like pairing [bold patterns] with a boring outfit. It’s something that catches your eye, if you notice it,” Galos says. In addition to patterns, textures are an eye-catcher and sensory element. Ribbed tights, cable-knit socks, and frilled edges can add lots of dimension and whimsy with little effort. Not feeling so soft and delightful? For a grungy, ragged look, cut some holes in a pair of fishnets or other tights. DIY is a great way to create a one-of-a-kind and stylish piece on a budget.


Layer Up without Losing Style

When the winter chill really starts to set in, layering becomes essential for warmth. It’s easy to feel like Ralphie from A Christmas Story when you bundle up, but if you use your socks and tights right, you can build some truly dynamic outfits. Start with a pair of opaque or fleece-lined tights as a base, then add some colorful or patterned crew socks on top. You could also swap the socks for another pair of more transparent tights for added depth and a pop of color, or a pair of chunky knit leg warmers for extra contrast. If you’re feeling creative, try layering two different pairs of socks. It provides extra warmth and creates more visual interest in your outfit. Think frilly socks with your favorite patterned tights underneath. Just make sure the colors and textures complement each other so the outfit stays exciting and unique, not chaotic.

Fashion

Socks and tights are fashion, too!

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FEATURES

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Gather Round The Table Words Lainey Arrol Photo Kaitlyn Wood Design Jordan Wyer

Because in a world that rushes, there’s something quietly radical about cooking for people you love.

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FEATURES

Appetizers ‰ Dips Carmalized Onion Dip Serves: 10 Total Time: 1 Hour 2 Tbsp. unsalted butter 3 medium onions, thinly sliced 2 Tbsp. water 1½ cups sour cream 8 oz. cream cheese, softened 1 Tbsp. finely chopped flat-leaf parsley ½ tsp. onion powder ½ tsp. Worcestershire sauce Kosher salt, to taste Ground black pepper, to taste Wheat Thins, for serving

1. In a large skillet, melt butter over medium heat. Add onions; stir occasionally, until golden, about 25 minutes. 2. Stir in water; cook until evaporated, about 3 minutes. Let onions cool slightly, then coarsely chop. 3. In a large bowl, stir together sour cream, cream cheese, parsley, onion powder, and Worcestershire sauce until smooth. 4. Stir in onions. Season with salt and pepper. 5. Serve with Wheat Thins.

Cinnamon Roll Dip Serves: 10 Total Time: 10 Minutes 16 oz. cream cheese, softened 1 cup powdered sugar 2 tsp. vanilla extract 3 tsp. ground cinnamon 6 Tbsp. unsalted butter, softened 4 Tbsp. milk, plus more if needed Berries and/or cookie crisps, for serving 1. In a large mixing bowl beat cream cheese, powdered sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, butter, and milk with an electric mixer until smooth. 2. If needed, add 1 Tbsp. more milk to reach desired consistency. 3. Serve cold or at room temperature with berries and/or cookie crisps.

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Make Ahead Prepare these dips up to one day in advance. Store covered in the refrigerator, and let stand at room temperature 10 minutes before serving.


Roasted Red Pepper Dip Serves: 10 Total Time: 1 Hour 4 red bell peppers, quartered and seeded 1 large onion, roughly chopped 2 cloves garlic, peeled 2 Tbsp. olive oil 1½ tsp. red wine vinegar 1½ tsp. kosher salt ¼ tsp. black pepper Bagel chips, for serving

1. Preheat oven to 425°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. 2. Place peppers, onion, and garlic on prepared baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil, vinegar, salt, and black pepper.

3. Roast 45 to 50 minutes or until peppers are browned at edges, tossing halfway through. Cool slightly. 4. Transfer vegetables and juices to a food processor. Blend until smooth. 5. Serve at room temperature or chilled with bagel chips.

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FEATURES

Main Course ‰ Ratatouille Serves: 10 Total Time: 1 Hour and 30 Minutes

2 zucchini, cut into 1/16-inch-thick rounds 2 yellow summer squash, cut into 1/16-inch-thick rounds 4 Chinese eggplants, cut into 1/16-inch-thick rounds 4 Roma tomatoes, cut into 1/16-inchthick rounds 2 yellow onion, diced (1 cup) 2 red bell pepper, diced (1 cup) 6 cloves garlic, minced 2 Tbsp. fresh thyme leaves, divided ½ cup chopped fresh basil, plus extra leaves for garnish ½ cup olive oil, divided 2 ½ tsp. kosher salt, divided ½ tsp. ground black pepper 2 cup tomato purée 2 tsp. red wine vinegar

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1. Preheat oven to 375°F. 2. In a large cast-iron skillet, heat 4 Tbsp. olive oil over medium heat. Add onion, bell pepper, 2 tsp. kosher salt, and black pepper. Cook until softened, stirring occasionally, 8 to 10 minutes. 3. Stir in garlic, 4 tsp. thyme, and basil. Cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. 4. Stir in tomato purée; bring to simmer. Reduce heat and cook until slightly thickened, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes. 5. Remove from heat; stir in vinegar. Spread sauce in an even layer in skillet. 6. Arrange zucchini, yellow squash, eggplant, and tomato slices on top of sauce in a circle, working inward. Alternate vegetables, overlapping slices slightly.

7. Drizzle with 4 Tbsp. olive oil. Sprinkle with 4 tsp. thyme and ½ tsp. salt. 8. Cover with foil. Bake 45 to 50 minutes or until vegetables are tender. 9. Uncover; let stand 5 minutes. Garnish with fresh basil leaves before serving. Optional Variation For extra protein, layer thin slices of prosciutto or cooked Italian sausage over the tomato sauce before adding vegetables. Make Ahead Cut zucchini, yellow squash, and eggplant up to 1 day ahead; refrigerate in an airtight container. Assemble ratatouille in skillet up to 1 day in advance; cool, cover, and refrigerate. Bring to room temperature while oven preheats. Bake uncovered, adding 5 to 10 minutes to bake time.


Dessert ‰ Tiramisu

Traditional Tiramisu

Cherry Tiramisu

Pistachio Tiramisu

Serves: 10 Total Time: 2 Hours and 30 Minutes

Serves: 10 Total Time: 1 Hour and 30 Minutes

Serves: 10 Total Time: 1 Hour and 30 Minutes

1 ½ cup brewed espresso, cooled 4 Tbsp. sweet Marsala wine 2 cup heavy whipping cream 1 cup powdered sugar 2 tsp. instant espresso powder 2 tsp. vanilla extract 2 cup mascarpone cheese 24 Savoiardi (Italian ladyfingers) Unsweetened cocoa powder, for dusting 10 small glasses, for serving

20 oz. black cherries, coarsely chopped 1 cup pomegranate juice 24 Savoiardi (Italian ladyfingers) 2 cup mascarpone cheese 2 Tbsp. sugar 10 small glasses, for serving

2 cup brewed espresso, cooled 2 cup heavy whipping cream 1 cup powdered sugar 2 cup mascarpone cheese 6 Tbsp. pistachio butter 24 Savoiardi (Italian ladyfingers) ½ cup unsalted pistachios, chopped, plus more for topping Unsweetened cocoa powder, for dusting 10 small glasses, for serving

1. In a shallow dish, stir together cooled espresso and Marsala wine. 2. In a medium bowl, beat cream, powdered sugar, and espresso powder with an electric mixer on medium speed until very soft peaks form. 3. In a small bowl, stir together mascarpone and vanilla. Fold into the whipped cream mixture. Beat until firm peaks form. 4. Cut ladyfingers in half. Dip halves in espresso mixture. 5. Place two halves in the bottom of each glass. Top with 2 Tbsp. mascarpone mixture. Repeat layers until glasses are full. 6. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours. 7. To serve, dust tops with cocoa powder.

Dip broken ladyfinger pieces in pomegranate juice just until moistened. Place three soaked pieces in the bottom of each glass. In a medium bowl, beat mascarpone and sugar with an electric mixer on medium speed until stiff peaks form. Spoon about 2 Tbsp. mascarpone mixture over cookies. Top with cherries. Repeat layers until glasses are full. Cover and refrigerate at least 1 hour before serving.

1. In a medium bowl, beat cream and powdered sugar with an electric mixer on medium speed until stiff peaks form. 2. Add mascarpone and pistachio butter; beat until smooth. 3. Cut ladyfingers in half. Place halves in the bottom of each glass and drizzle with about 1 Tbsp. espresso. 4. Spoon a layer of mascarponepistachio mixture over ladyfingers. Sprinkle with chopped pistachios. 5. Repeat layers until glasses are full. Smooth tops. 6. Cover and refrigerate at least 1 hour 7. To serve, top with additional chopped pistachios. DRAKE MAG

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FEATURES

Sugar, Spice, & Everything Nice (and neat) 1. (Optional) Mix together 1 tsp. of the brown sugar and the cinnamon in a small bowl. Wet the rim of a lowball glass and dip the rim in the cinnamon-sugar mixture. 2. Add 1 tsp. brown sugar, bitters, and water to the glass and muddle until the sugar is dissolved. 3. Add the whiskey and stir to combine. 4. Stir well. 5. Add ice cube to the glass. 6. Garnish with cinnamon stick.

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Add a splash of brillance to your glass.

Gingerbread 2 1/2 tsp. brown sugar 1 tsp. cinnamon 3 dashes Angostura bitters 1 tsp. water 2 oz. whiskey One large ice cube Cinnamon stick, for garnish

Words Kylie Petty Photo Kaitlyn Wood Design Jordan Wyer


Winter Berry 2 tsp. spiced cranberry simple syrup 1 tsp. water 2 oz. whiskey One large ice cube Cranberries, for garnish 1. Add the simple syrup, water, and whiskey to a lowball glass and stir to combine. 2. Add ice cube to the glass. 3. Stir well. 4. Garnish with cranberries.

Adjust the ingredients to perfect the drink to your taste. Go light on the alcohol for a weaker drink, or add more sugar or bitters for more sweetness or flavor.

Classic Old Fashioned 1 tsp. sugar 3 dashes Angostura bitters 1 tsp. water 2 oz. whiskey Orange twist, for garnish One large ice cube 1. Add the sugar, bitters, and water to a lowball glass and muddle until the sugar is dissolved. 2. Add the whiskey and stir to combine. 3. Add ice cube to the glass. 4. Stir well. 5. Squeeze the orange twist over the glass and drop it in to garnish.

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FEATURES

When invited to your first dinner party, no need to fret over your outfit. Repurpose the outfits that have gone to die in the back of your closet — like that long black dress or that suit. Add character with a jacket or a unique pair of shoes or boots.

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Despite the dark sky and cold weather, your outfits don’t have to be drab. Brighten up any outfit with a few sparkling accessories. Jewelry, belts, and shiny hardware on shoes or bags will do the trick.

Bright Lights After Dark Dinner party attire made easy DRAKE MAG

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FEATURES

Find the outfit you never have an excuse to wear — and wear it! Tights are a great layering piece (especially when it’s a bit chilly). A dinner party is the perfect excuse to dress up, just because.

Add more hues with a bright makeup look or matching nails.

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Formal doesn’t need to be stiff or drab. Revitalize the look with muted colors of red, green, and blue. Dress shirts, patterned ties, and a mix of fabrics and textures. Think velvet, silk, and even knit.

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AESTHETICS

Words Lily Fleming Design Stella Pihlsrom

Think of an artist. Think of their tools. What do you picture? Easel? Brushes? A camera? Not necessarily. It’s 2025, and as technology redefines reality, so does our understanding of “art.” For some creatives, starting the artistic process today merely means grabbing a laptop and diving into artificial intelligence software prompting. In 2022, AI as we know it took center stage. Now, AI chatbots have taken the world by storm. Images, videos, audio, and text can readily be made in seconds with AI generators like DALL-E, Sora, and ChatGPT. These impressive tech developments demand a reassessment of the value and future of art.

There’s some things a computer just can’t do. is going to adapt to the technology because it has no choice.” The legal mess of AI ownership only escalates as people profit from AIgenerated content. This ranges from generating streaming music, to selling t-shirts or notebooks with AI graphics. But for freelance artist Meghavi Patel, who makes her living from acrylic paintings, the professional art world just looks different, not entirely bleak.

Artist and art educator, Dr. Jim O’Donnell, is more skeptical. “[AI] can be a useful tool, but it has to be ethical,” O’Donnell says. “A lot of artists are suffering right now.”

Before digging in, it’s crucial to understand the engine. AI art generators use a Large Language Model, which pulls data from all across the internet. The models then apply learned patterns to put together an output based on the user's prompt.

Lawyer Devin Owens says current intellectual property frameworks weren’t made with AI language models in mind. “Technology drives law, not the other way around,” Owens says. “Society 36

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Amy Kim, assistant professor of photography at Hope College, says AI use is “here to stay.” She believes the value of AI art will likely decrease as the supply begins to outweigh the demand, and hopes that the overwhelming amount of AI art will enhance the public’s appreciation for the time-consuming, critical processes of human-made artwork.

The Value of Art

AI Functionality

While some find the outputs aesthetically pleasing and accessible, others think the resulting product is a lazy regurgitation. Critics argue that anything new that AI creates are just stolen, repackaged material since any and all AI creations depend on preexisting artwork.

She approaches her own work by carefully considering the intimate, human clues to make the piece more meaningful.

He notes that the freer the society, the more art there is. O’Donnell’s students often ask him, ‘What’s the point? What’s the value in this?’ O’Donnell’s answer? “You’re being human. This is a human thing.” “When I started [my art career] in 2014, the digital market was booming,” Patel says. “But now it's the other way around: There's a higher demand for [the] handmade.” With AI art flooding the digital art market, handmade art’s value will persist for its unique qualities of imperfection, authenticity, and human connection, Patel says. “Art is when I get to express my emotions. This is my passion,” Patel says. “When my mind is confused or I want to do something, when I'm disappointed, this is the way I can express my feelings.”

However, community support for real artistry is still very much needed. “If there's no policy and legal changes, if artists don't win lawsuits … I think we're all in a lot of trouble,” O’Donnell says. Ironically, for creatives like O’Donnell, the very questions AI brings upon the art world prompts existential coping that generates … art. “At the end of the day, all I can do is open my little sketchbook,” O’Donnell says. “Like so many humans through history, I deal with that existential crisis by putting my hand on a pencil, on paper, and making something.”


CULTURE

PING. SWIPE. REPEAT. Reclaim time from your phone. Words Seth Coughlin Design Stella Pihlsrom

Nicole Gabriel, a former mobile application developer and current mental health counselor, sits in their office and watches people walk by in a torrential downpour. Everyone’s eyes are directed downward, toward their phones.

subsequently, revenue. It doesn’t just vie for your time, it doesn’t require you to physically be with the people you’re interacting with — making it even harder to delete social media. “You want to be on social media, not only because you consume some content which you like, but also because you know that other people consume the content,” Donati says.

“So many years ago, people would have had this moment of engagement with each other,” Gabriel says.

Torrential Addiction

We’re constantly grabbing, tapping, swiping, and scrolling. According to a 2025 survey, Gen Z and Millennials spend an average of six hours a day on their phones. We’re dependent on them — for work, play, and everything in between.

Realistic Restrictions

You may have seen wealthy influencers boast about their “screen free detoxes,” hailing the various benefits of leaving phones behind. No one is denying the benefits of less screen time, but in this day and age, detoxes just aren’t practical for the average person. Especially those with remote work or distant loved ones.

“The cell phone is a really distracting device,” Gabriel says. “You're getting notifications. You're getting texts. It's really hard to maintain focus.”

Mini Screen Detoxes

Here are a few other options to limit your doomscrolls. • Try apps that make you wait 15 seconds before opening apps and display how many times you opened it that day. It might just shame you into keeping the app closed. • Turn off notifications on apps like Slack or email outside of work hours for better work-life balance. Set yourself as “away” and never look back (until tomorrow at 9 am). • Bright lights and colors make our phones hard to look away from. Turn on greyscale in your accessibility settings to make your display black and white to stop you from scrolling for hours. • Customize your Do Not Disturb settings. Use one when you’re working, and another for when you’re socializing and don’t want to be taken out of the moment.

All those pings are tapping into our internal reward systems, giving us a quick hit every time we get a notification. Do it enough, you’re addicted. Suddenly, we’re a headsdown society. “Most of the addiction part today comes from the algorithm,” says Dante Donati, assistant professor of business at the marketing division of Columbia Business School. “It's not just how much time people spend on social media, but it's also what we consume.” Social media platforms are addictive by design. Their algorithms feed users content they’ll continue to engage with so they don’t lose users, and

Reducing screen time isn’t a onesize-fits-all issue. Everyone uses their devices differently. “It's sort of like trying to figure out how to take back control,” Gabriel says. “Everybody has a different threshold and ability to do that.” Gabriel recommends turning on screen time limit usage settings or downloading apps that log your time on apps to keep you accountable. Finding a balance between phone usage and your personal needs may be your most beneficial option. “You can do a lot on your phone,” Donati says. “But in the end, what we need to do is make sure that we get more educated in terms of the use." DRAKE MAG

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CULTURE

RELATIONSHIP THEORIES Words Drake Mag Staff Design Lauren Hafemeyer

are ruining us.

With modern day dating being more confusing than ever, people are looking online to see what works and what doesn’t. The internet gives you hope. Tik Tok tarot card readers can answer your questions about whether or not they really like you back, and so do the relationship theories the internet swears by.

Don’t listen to the TIkTok theories, listen to your heart.

If you’ve spent any time on TikTok or Reels you’ve likely come across some of these theories. They’re fun, but can turn love into a game, something that you need a strategy for to “win.” The internet offers support, but also introduces new problems that weren't there before. Relationship theories seem harmless but they encourage people to overthink, obsess, and categorize emotions to fit into a specific outline. “What once required time, mutual friends, or shared communities to get to know someone can now happen in minutes through social media and dating apps,” says psychologist Grace Orofino of Restorative Healing Counseling and Psychotherapy in Lake Zurich, Illinois. The internet trains the brain to look for problems to be solved instead of making genuine connections with a potential partner. This constant cognitive overload — wondering if someone is being “avoidant,” or if a message is a “red flag” — triggers anxiety and destroys our natural emotional responses. “Much of what we see is curated, which has fueled selfdoubt, anxiety, fear of missing out, comparison, and competition,” Orofino says.

These theories can stunt emotional intelligence by replacing real life experiences with complicated labels. They don't just affect how we see others — they change how we think, feel, and trust in ways that can make healthy relationships harder to maintain. “When people have relationships online they tend to be quick to block others and avoid conflict,” Orfino says. “[It] removes an opportunity for emotional growth.” In a digital world where edited love lives flood our screens, it's easy to fall into comparison. Constantly comparing your love life to someone else's you see on social media can make the feeling of loneliness worsen, making you feel as if you aren't good enough because of the unrealistic posts. On top of that, comparing your relationship to these online theories isn't helpful. No one has exactly what you and your partner have. These online trends won’t get you far, but meeting and investing in your relationship in-person will give you clarity. Your relationship is yours, and it doesn't need to follow the guidelines of something you heard about on TikTok. Real relationships thrive on trust, communication, and being present. To make these connections possible, let go of constant comparison and start valuing what’s real over what’s viral.

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QUIZ: TOO HIGH?

ARE YOUR STANDARDS

Do you expect your partner to respond to your texts and calls immediately? a. Of course not. Responding to my texts shouldn’t be a top priority for them. b. No. I would love it if they did, but they have other things to do too. I just want them to let me know if something comes up; communication is key. c. Yes. When I call, they need to be there for me. No excuses. Do you expect your partner to plan every date/outing? a. Definitely not, I plan basically every date. b. No, we split the dates. They deserve to be spoiled too, taken out for drinks and dinner. It’s pretty much a 50/50 contribution. c. Of course. I deserve the royal treatment, which means I don’t plan the dates. Do you expect your partner to actively be a part of household chores? a. Not at all. I can take care of it, a little cleaning never hurt anyone. b. Of course. Household chores are a team effort, we should both be contributing. c. I expect them to do all of it. Cleaning the toilet isn’t my job.

How do you feel when you and your partner disagree on your non-negotiables? a. It’s probably fine. They're still a good person, and they still treat me well, so I just won’t think about it. b. I won’t break up with them on the spot, but I definitely need to think about whether or not this is the relationship for me. c. One strike, they’re out. They’re already blocked on everything, their stuff in a garbage bag on the side of the road. How do you feel when your partner doesn’t live up to the expectations of online couples? a. I’m not worried at all. Online relationships are all fake and unrealistic anyway. b. It sucks a little. I wish I could have one of those cute relationships I see online, but I know they’re not super realistic. Everyone’s different. c. It makes me super disappointed. That must mean my partner doesn’t love me as much as I thought.

If you answered mostly A, your expectations for relationships are too low. Your partner should be there for you, you don’t need to do everything by yourself. You deserve someone who listens, takes care of you, and fights for your love. If you answered mostly B, your expectations for relationships are right on par for a healthy, balanced relationship. You expect support from your partner, but you also understand that they can’t be at your beck-and-call, and you support them in return. If you answered mostly C, your expectations for relationships are too high. We love having healthy standards, but there’s such a thing as expecting too much from people. A relationship is all about collaboration from both sides.

The Olive Theory

This theory comes from the show How I Met Your Mother where one partner loves olives and the other dislikes them, making them a perfect match.

The 3-Month Rule

Typically, after 3 months the honeymoon phase ends and people start to reveal their true selves to one another.

The Red Nail Theory

Red nails attract male attention because they symbolize power, confidence and passion.

The Orange Peel Theory

If someone peels an orange for you without you asking, it’s a sign they have feelings for you.

The Sidewalk Theory

This is a theory that when you are walking with your partner, they should put themselves closer to traffic to protect their partner.

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CULTURE

Where is my quintessential

HOUSE PARTY?!

It’s not far-fetched to say that house parties have stood as a rite of passage for decades of young people — the chaotic keggers of the ‘80s, solo-cup ragers of the early aughts, and the messy Snapchat-documented nights of the 2010s. If you haven’t experienced a house party, let’s get on the same page. Simply put, it’s a low-key gathering of friends, peers, and strangers you’re willing to know. “House” is a catch-all term for the setting – apartments, backyards, garages, or basements will do the job. Now, with Gen Z stepping into adulthood, the house party is evolving once again. But it’s taking a little more time to come out of its shell.

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IT’S NOT LIKE THE MOVIES We’ve all had misconceptions of what college and early adulthood would be — at least that’s true for me. The media presented unrealistic expectations of daily ragers and monumental partying moments. Party montages from teen flicks like “Mean Girls,” “Spring Breakers,” and “Project X” made me believe that partying in college would only get wilder. A quick talk with your parents, a cool aunt, or an older friend would quickly reveal that Gen Z lacks the partying streak that other generations had in abundance. “I think, honestly, different generations value different things,” says Izzy Marx, a recent college graduate and Gen Z house party host. “I think it comes with the rise of technology and social media … I feel like people these days don’t really value connections.”


Make time to party — at home. Words Liz Rosa Photo Victoria Powell Design Maria Moore

“We weren’t on our phones. You weren’t embarrassed to dance. Everybody was cool,” says Daja Smith, a Millennial partygoer. “[Parties were made up of] very diverse groups and everybody just got along with each other and we all had a good time.” WHAT’S THE ADDY? The modern world presents anxiety after anxiety, but it can be especially challenging for young adults entering the “real world” —starting “big kid jobs,” bills, rent, etc. — for the first time. In this strange age of technological advancement mixed with high rent, polarizing politics, and uncertain career options, it seems impossible to find the time, energy, or will to socialize. “You can’t be afraid to fail,” Marx says. “You just have to go for it.” Marx says her first attempt at setting something up via Facebook during her sophomore year of college didn’t pan out. But in her junior year, she “asked the right people to jam” in person, and things started looking up. “It’s anxiety-inducing, I really get that,” Marx says. “If you’re really passionate about something and you really want to do it, just keep asking and eventually someone’s going to say yes.”

SNAPCHAT RUINED IT Gen Z is the first generation to have the internet completely consume their lives. Gen Z is stumbling in the dark about what it means to grow up and live with the internet constantly following you. According to statistics gathered by GWI, 80% of Gen Z respondents say they have felt lonely in the past 12 months, compared to the much older baby boomers, whose respondents reported feeling lonely at a rate of 45%.

Take a cue from past generations, and don’t let the world or your phone get the best of you. By taking steps to set the mood, you can ensure no awkward slip-ups or uncomfortable feelings. “Put away your cell phone,” Smith says. “Have a decent space, cool lights, set the vibes — whatever feels good to you.” It doesn’t have to be the ragers depicted in the movies. A low-key gathering of close friends or a dinner party with new ones can be the first step to reigniting house parties.

Similarly, research done at Civic Science reports that 57% of “U.S. adults agree that technological advancements have contributed to increased feelings of loneliness.” The study also reports that 52% of respondents say they rely on technology as a form of escapism. Other generations didn’t have the privilege (or crutch) of a phone to disrupt moments of awkwardness and avoid social interaction. They also didn’t have the pressure to appear cool at any moment or be haunted by the ghosts of a drunken night's past. DRAKE MAG

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Cooper warns that we shouldn’t hold our breath for further futuristic DNA-altering technologies any time soon.

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“It’s just too difficult,” Cooper says. “There are too many factors at work trying to develop anything in this world. It takes a ton of work, and it's very expensive, so we're just not going to dump resources into something like that.”

But that growing ball of cells has already made decisions. It has a string of traits — health traits, physical traits, emotional traits — that have been predetermined not with your input, but with your family’s genetic makeup.

“You're just not going to design yourself, you know, a sixfoot [tall], Amazon woman with green hair and hazel eyes,” Cooper says. “I'm being ridiculous, but — just to get the point across — there isn't a specific one gene that determines all that. It's multiple factors.”

hen that double line appears on your pregnancy test, you’re immediately riffling through the possibilities of your future: potential name choices, what kind of parent you will be, and what role your partner/family will play, will all be on your mind.

Of course, any attempting or expecting parent wants a healthy child. But thanks to your family history, some pregnancies are at an increased risk for genetic disorders and other health complications. These conditions can’t be prevented by would-be parents crossing their fingers. Sometimes, they call for something more invasive. Now there are resources. Now there’s reassurance. Now we know more about genetics — and how to manipulate them.

What Genes Are You Wearing?

Genetics is a word that carries the weight of a wide variety of fields, and is, “... a big garbage can term [that] covers a lot of things,” says Dr. Brian Cooper of Mid-Iowa Fertility clinic. Under this large umbrella of genetics is the idea of ‘designer babies’. It’s the idea that you can genetically modify an embryo so that it will possess or lack certain health and physical traits. “[Designer babies aren’t] really realistic,” Cooper says. “Right now, it’s still pretty much science fiction.”

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Many people don’t understand just how complicated editing an embryo’s DNA so it possesses or lacks certain traits would be.

Additionally, there are contentious debates over the ethics of editing an embryo's DNA. According to PBS, In November of 2018, a Chinese scientist named He Jiankui claimed to have edited the DNA of embryos of twin girls that were born later that month. He was later arrested and imprisoned for three years for violating biomedical ethics regulations. His experiment was called ‘reckless’ by the scientific community, and, to date, there’s no worldwide agreement on whether we should design babies. The only thing that parents can genetically manipulate is their child’s sex, but Cooper hasn’t come across many parents who are even interested in predetermining that.


“My husband did his screening and he did not carry it, and that means we were totally clear to … conceive naturally, and have a baby,” Fink says.

“Gender selection has become somewhat more popular,” he says. “It's not a large percentage of people, by any means, but there is a small percentage of people that may have three boys or three girls, and they want to try one more time for the other gender. That does creep up from time to time.” What happens more often is something called a preimplantation genetic diagnosis. The DNA of selected embryos is tested as carriers or harbingers for certain health complications. It has nothing to do with physical traits or appearance. “With most of [these] cases, people are coming to me knowing that, 'Hey, this is already in my family, and I sure as heck don't want to pass it on,’” Cooper says. The cost of these screenings depends, but is often covered by a patient's insurance. It’s a very real possibility that almost anyone can partake in genetic screenings — not just the 1%. Now many families can ease worries and confront genetic conflicts head-on.

A little planning goes a long way in establishing a secure foundation to start your family. “This genetic testing did not take away any excitement for us, because really, the blood test screening was just protocol at my OB/GYN’s office. And because we ended up not being a match [together] for anything, it didn’t end up in us having to do IVF. We were able to just conceive,” Fink says. “It increased the sense of safety, but overall it didn’t change anything about the process.” Of course, not everyone is so lucky. When a potential issue is discovered during screening, then hopeful parents can stage a genetic intervention. IVF is a genetic safety net. It allows you to bypass certain underlying health conditions. It starts with egg retrieval and a sperm sample. Then these are combined to make a cluster of embryos. Those are then tested for genetic conditions. For parents who are both carriers of a genetic condition, embryos without those markers can be selected, essentially wiping out that potential disease.

A Little Planning Goes A Long Way

Genetic testing isn’t perfect, and there’s no guarantee that a genetic mutation won’t occur in future offspring, but time and resources will go towards advancement in the genetics industry — not designer babies.

“Both my husband and I have Ashkenazi Jewish descent in our backgrounds and apparently … there are specific genetic disorders that you’re way more likely to be a carrier for,” Fink says.

“I have an extensive conversation with [my patients] and then let them decide [if they want to participate],”

Lucie Fink, a video content creator and lifestyle host based in New York City, took part in a genetic screening recommended by her OB/GYN.

Though Fink did end up testing positive as a carrier for a genetic condition, it didn’t mean the end to Fink and her husband’s family planning.

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Cooper says. “In an ideal world, if we could do [genetic testing] non-invasively, have it be 100% accurate and free, then yeah, everyone should do it. It’s getting closer, but it’s not there.”

Let’s Get Ethical

The genetics industry has often been compared to eugenics, the largely discredited theory that certain physical traits are more desirable than others which has its roots in racism and Nazi Germany. Genetic intervention is the practice of editing genetic disorders, and is not focused on enhancing any one race or ethnicity. However, many people don’t understand what geneticists actually do, which results in this harmful comparison. “So, you’re kind of like a nurse?” That’s what Meghan Strenk, a certified genetic counselor at Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, says people ask her when she describes her work. Strenk’s work involves much more than interacting with patients. She counsels prospective parents on moving forward when their genetic screening presents a health issue. “There's kind of this implicit tension in genetic counseling,” Strenk says. “Because my job is to identify the reason that somebody's kiddo has some kind of difference, and then talk to the family about the genetic

reasons [for] why that happened, options for having more children, and if they want to have more children who don't have that same condition,” Strenk says. It’s not easy work. Strenk is walking an ethical tightrope between preventing disease and playing God. “I do think there are some things that are really severe and life-limiting and devastating, and those are things that would benefit from [genetic] treatment,” Strenk says. “But there is, I think, at some point, a[n ethical] line, and I don't know where it's at physically.” For Dr. Jeremy Garrett, a research associate in bioethics at Children’s Mercy Bioethics Center in Kansas City, bioethics is not designing or augmenting for perfection. It’s an attempt to prevent potentially harmful genetic traits from becoming an issue later in life. “Do I think there's a struggle for perfection in bioethics? Not really. I think perfection is a straw man term that critics use to make medical genetics seem unhinged and dystopian,” Garrett says. “In reality, what we're talking about is often a very localized, targeted type of focus. Like, ‘Can I have a child that doesn't suffer from this condition?’ This isn't like, ‘I'm trying to engineer a child who's the perfect specimen of humanity.’” As far as Garrett is concerned, that sort of talk is nothing but clickbait.

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“People will respond viscerally to [the term designer babies],” Garrett says, “but it really doesn't do a fair service to the types of decisions that are actually being considered. You're not designing an entire child from a checklist — which feels kind of creepy.” Strenk views her genetic counseling role as a provider of information. She is aware of an ethical line, one that has yet to be defined by geneticists, and is up to the prospective parents' discretion. But let’s be clear: neither she nor Garrett are advocating for eugenic practices. In fact, Garrett identifies the social attitude towards the disability community as what needs reflection, not the work of genetic counselors. “If you actually talk to [people with disabilities] about their life and their challenges, most of the challenges they cite aren't because of their condition — whatever degree of genetics makes a contribution to that. It’s mostly about society excluding them,” Garrett says. “...It's really not as much the structural limitations within the body or the functional differences, as much as it is [whether] the world is built in a way that includes you and makes it easier for you to do the things you want to do.”

Back to the Beginning (and Babies)

Whether you’re planning on starting a family immediately or sometime in the next 10 to 100 years, genetic carrier screenings, pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, and IVF could end up playing a larger role in your offspring planning than you might think.

It’s also not too late to think about genetic intervention if you’re already staring at the blue double lines. If something runs in your family that you’re concerned about passing on, talk with a geneticist and take advantage of available genetic testing. Get tested before you start trying to conceive or make an appointment after you find out. Any kind of genetic testing is an elective procedure. It can weed out potential health complications. If choosing any traits at all goes against your child-rearing morals, don’t opt in. If choosing all of your child’s traits sounds ideal, you’re going to be out of luck. It’s just not a possibility. But you can design their entire nursery from scratch.

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FEATURES Words Nicholas Jackson | Photo Liz Rosa | Design Molly McCracken

RECLAIMING THE How “straight edge” has revolutionized Iowa City’s DIY punk scene.

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’ve attended my fair share of hardcore shows. But October 4 marked my first show at the Public Space One (PS1) Close House in Iowa City — it didn’t disappoint. Once a dwelling for the elite, the Close family mansion has been reclaimed by DIY enthusiasts. As I walked toward the PS1 house, I could hear the music punks affectionately call “noise” bleeding through the walls. Inside, folks had already begun to nod and mosh to the infectious metallic hardcore of touring act Rest Assured, from Indianapolis. A local greeted us warmly, motioning to a chalkboard advertising a $10 suggested donation. Like most local

NOISE

DIY shows, this concert was “pay what you can.” Rest Assured commanded the room from the front; PS1’s Victorian-style bay window served as their backdrop. Under the crystal chandelier, concertgoers enjoyed the show in their own ways. Some braved the pit, flailing around with reckless abandon, while others clung to walls and doorways, headbanging all the same. “What draws me to Iowa City is the kinds of people who come to the shows, it’s all just weirdos — just like me,” says Beatrice Boebel, the lead vocalist of Iowa City local act Angel Without Wings. “There’s nowhere else like it.”

Iowa City’s Punk Scene: Ask a Punk Punk and hardcore thrive in the heart of Iowa City. One need only ask a punk where the next DIY show is set to happen. The punk community gathers in droves in basements, garages, and public spaces around town, ever ready to support upcoming performances. Along with the PS1 Close House, common gathering places include the big three punk houses, aptly named Hell, Purgatory, and Paradise.

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DIY organizing is a labor of love; shows are hosted by organizers, and their spaces, often basements or living rooms, are shared with their community for a few nights a week. Giving up their space is a small sacrifice for the music and joy that these venues bring to those in the scene.

Oliver Weilein, an Iowa City council representative, scene organizer, and drummer for the hardcore outfit Bootcamp, characterizes Iowa City’s punk scene as eclectic, genre diverse, and ever evolving. Weilein, who was elected to represent District C last March, blurs the line between grassroots community building and formal civic engagement. He isn’t some suit divorced from the scene. Oliver’s DIY involvement and straight edge ethos inform a political practice rooted in antifascism, mutual-aid, and harm reduction — principles he carries from basement shows to city hall. Weilein sets Iowa City punk apart from what he dubs the heavier “Capital H” contemporary hardcore punk typical of other Midwestern scenes. Iowa City is known for its mixed bills, which include not only hardcore punk, but punk variations like art punk and noise rock. “Iowa City has always had this weirdo, artsy vibe to it,” Weilein says. “[We] all share the same space.” Organizer, vegan straight edge punk, and vocalist for This World is Not Kind, Laela Tesdall, says Iowa City’s scene is far punkier than typical hardcore scenes. Especially compared to those with a straight edge presence. “Iowa City is more of a punk scene than a hardcore scene,” Tesdall says. “[But] right this second, it does seem that more capital ‘H’ hardcore stuff is starting to pick up.”


What is Straight Edge? The motivations of the punk scene stretch far beyond an affinity for cramped basements and loud noises. A strong yet unimposing straight edge presence has come to characterize the city’s postpandemic punk culture. Tesdall says the term “straight edge” originated from an old Minor Threat song. Tesdall has claimed straight edge lifestyle commits “abstaining drugs, and tobacco the rest of Tesdall’s

the and to from alcohol, forever, for my life.”

commitment stems from her personal battle with addiction. Her sobriety is tightly interlaced with her involvement in the hardcore community. For Weilein, his straight edge commitment stems from traumatic experience with alcoholism in his family and a will to maintain personal autonomy. The fear of being unable to help loved ones due to impaired judgment or incapacitation reinforces this choice for him. Weilein credits his ability to travel, build community, and enjoy life’s moments to a frugal lifestyle built around straight edge rhetoric. “[I] never put myself in a position where I [could] get hurt, addicted, or lose all my money,” Weilein says. “I wholeheartedly believe that I’m only in the place I am today because I am straight edge.” Mental clarity is a common motivator for straight edge punks. “[Being straight edge] means having a mind free of substance, that allows you to put yourself into action, to make the world a better place around you,” says Brady Turner, Rest Assured vocalist and vegan straight edge punk. “If I weren't straight edge, I wouldn't have the sense of purpose that I do in life.” There’s been an uptick in interest in attending house shows and participating in scene organizing post-COVID. Many Iowa City

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punks — and everybody else — have come to realize just how precious social connection is. Many of the shows put on in the pandemic’s wake were spearheaded by straight edge punks like Weilein and Tesdall. “At that time, those of us who [had been] in the scene for a long time and were booking shows just happened to be straight edge,” Weilein says. As a result, a younger, more sober crowd felt welcome. Hardcore enthusiasts of all backgrounds took straight edge rhetoric in stride when attending dry shows. “It used to be [that] people [were] drinking and the show started at 10 p.m.,” Weilein says. “Nowadays, shows are a lot younger in the crowd and are usually over by 10 p.m.” With straight edge organizers setting the tone, the scene became safer, cleaner, and more inviting.

“People feel comfortable because there isn’t pressure to drink or do drugs or anything that comes along with that,” Weilein says.

Punk Ideology: Beyond Claiming Edge Straight edge is more nuanced than just adherence to sobriety. These punks aren’t uptight. Despite the strong presence of straight edge within the Iowa City punk scene, straight edge members are clear that the movement isn’t concerned with exclusivity or moral hierarchy. Though sobriety is an essential choice to straight edge punks, it doesn’t dictate who belongs at house shows or community events. Unity and solidarity remain at its core. “There's not a straight edge clique … I hang out with people who like drinking, smoking weed, and [who] [do] drugs,” Weilein says. “It's just a personal thing; everybody has their own reasons.” The straight edge movement in Iowa City relies on traditional punk politics of antifascism by advocating for self-

determination, unity, and financial independence within the community. Weilein hopes to create little pockets of post-capitalist society within Iowa City, using punk organizing as an alternative to the corporate music scene. The scene’s DIY activism is evident through benefit shows for marginalized groups, including Iowa Mutual Aid, Trans Mutual Aid, and Shelter House. Tesdall also says that veganism and straight edge often go hand in hand as both lifestyles combat a culture of over-consumption. Weilein and Tesdall reject rhetoric that blames the individual for substance dependency, tracing the problem’s roots to social stress and capitalistic greed. Weilein says if we lived in a society that cared about people over economic greed, he thinks substance problems would be far less common. Tesdall argues that straight edge punk’s refusal of substances uplifts personal autonomy, away from corporations and hierarchies that profit from addiction, like the alcohol industry that profits from problem drinking. Tesdall adds that drug policy has long been weaponized as a tool of control, citing the Nixon administration’s deliberate demonization of black communities and the anti-war left through media campaigns and heavy drug criminalization.

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Weilein knows building a new society in the shell of an old, exploitative one requires solidarity between marginalized communities — a blow to one is an attack on all. “A lot of people who come to the punk scene are people that are already on the margins of society,” Weilein says. “They know on a personal level what solidarity is and [what] helping each other out means because they struggle, too.”

Queer Presence in DIY Scene The Iowa City punk scene fosters safety for all, but especially for the LGBTQ+ community. “The queer community is huge in the punk scene,” Weilein says. “It’s a place where no one gives a fuck … they will have your back and will actively help you.” As far as the LGBTQ+ presence in the scene goes, the numbers speak for themselves. “One time, I was booking a show for someone, and they wanted to book a specific band because they heard [it had] trans members,” Tesdall says. “And I just told them: this is Iowa City. All the bands have trans members.” Iowa City punks stand with the queer community, supporting their unique needs. For example, Tesdall says

that if a trans kid’s parents aren’t supportive, they might be forced out, and would be welcomed to live in a punk house. “It’s the type of place that would support [them],” Tesdall says. For her, personal expression and resistance to bigotry are vital punk sensibilities. “[The punk scene has a] long history of being a place where people on the margin, misfits, outsiders, are able to come and feel welcome,” Weilein says. “No one judges you for things you can’t control. We have that shared desire for a better world.” While queerness is innate and punk is chosen, their sense of defiance binds the two together. “Existing openly as a queer person is an act of rebellion,” Weilein says. “Punk is an act of rebellion against oppression, exploitation, and cruelty in society.” Tesdall says, historically, punk scenes have been homophobic, but over time, that hate has dwindled. She says that Iowa City’s scene is the type of place where queer people, and their needs, are supported without judgment. While visiting Iowa City, Turner commended the local punk

community for its spirit and unity. The vocalist has experienced scenes across the country, but says Iowa City stands out for the kindness and the solidarity of its members. Iowa City’s punk scene is a refuge: welcoming, safe, and built by those who value humanity over profit. Here, within a small but self-sustained community, queerness, activism, and creativity thrive.

SUBGENRE BREAKDOWN Classic punk: root of the genre, raw, fast, anti-establishment rock, DIY ethos (The Ramones, Patti Smith). Hardcore punk: aggressive, faster than punk, socially conscious (Bootcamp, Rest Assured, Psyop, Thought Wrong,). Art punk: experimental, genre mixing, unique song structures (Wire, Talking Heads). Noise Rock: distorted, chaotic, like sonic collage (Haunter, Sonic Youth, Melvins).

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AI: personal assistant or virtual partner?

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ight here, in this space, you’ve got my full attention — you can pour your thoughts, your moods, your fantasies into me and I’ll build them with you.” Sadly, that's not a text from my non-existent boyfriend or an excerpt from the newest Colleen Hoover book. It’s ChatGPT — and it’s flirting with me. AI used to be one of those looming future fears—the stuff of Hollywood and nightmares. But when it arrived, no one really knew what to do with it — except students who needed their homework done yesterday. Now, we rely on chatbots to answer every question, write passive-aggressive emails to co-workers, and even make videos of bunnies on a trampoline (it fooled me). It’s replacing a whole bevy of human interactions — librarians, fitness trainers, financial advisors — and some we’d rather not talk about.

Spellcheck to Seduction

AI has seeped into our workday and personal entertainment. Google searches now have AI overviews, navigation apps use it to interpret traffic data, and it suggests what we should watch next on streaming services. According to John McCarthy, a pioneer in AI research, “As soon as it works, no one calls it AI anymore.” “We still call it AI because it still seems like magic,” says Greg Swan, a senior public relations partner at FINN Partners who specializes in AI in marketing. “And what will happen is that magic — just like spell check used to be magic — will wear off.” That “magic” means chatbots have work to do before we fully embrace them into our lives. The road to acceptance is easily paved when it’s used for administrative tasks. For some, it’s a sharp detour to personal conversations. “After [using AI], it doesn't take long to [start] having more personal, intimate conversations,” says Giselle Fuerte, an AI researcher and founder of Being Human With AI, a youth AI-literacy curriculum. Fuerte explains that it’s the “anthropomorphic design” of AI chatbots that “nudges users” into personal conversations that stray away from work and dive into their personal lives — all while remaining overly polite.

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Talk Dirty to Me, Please

Have you ever noticed how nice ChatGPT is, even when you scold it for being wrong? It rarely says “no” explicitly — it likes to let you down easily. That’s by design. Twinkle Joshi, a senior quality assurance engineer at IQ Geo, an AI-powered geospatial software company, explains Words Amanda Favazza that AI is trained to Reporting Sophia Juhler, be this nice. Kylie Petty, and Stella Pihlstrom Design Ryley Roudabush

“It won’t scold you,” Joshi says. “It will always acknowledge your thoughts, because it’s trained based on that positivity.” When you ask AI something, in a matter of seconds, it goes through a well-trained process to give you a response. It files through its data sets to find the content you’re looking for. Then, it analyzes your speech patterns — like how you asked the question — to give you a tailored, empathetic response. Fine-tuning adds tone to its answer, delivering the information you asked for in the role you assigned it. In fact, it’s actually called “role modeling.” If you ask ChatGPT to answer your prompt “as an expert,” it will adjust its style of response to sound authoritative on the

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0011011000010101100L0VE0110101001010000 “You are only providing your observations, your understanding, your experiences,” Buckley says. “So it’s completely biased.” But it’s also ridiculously easy. Chatbots are free and readily available. Some therapists don’t take insurance or don’t have any open appointments. It all makes AI feel like a solid alternative, except the cheap route might not be the best option here. “It can become problematic … when there’s over-reliance on artificial intelligence versus real-life, in-person support systems,” says Kai Korpak, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in working with the LGBTQ community. If spilling your secrets to a stranger frightens you, Joshi suggests using AI as a dumping ground for thoughts to bring to a therapy appointment — including some thoughts you might not be able to speak out loud.

subject. If you ask it to respond to a personal story like a therapist, it will respond empathetically. And if you tell it the same story and ask it to respond like a boyfriend, you’ll get the voice and intonation of a romantic partner. In addition to their assigned character, AI is programmed on what to say and what not to say. The models can analyze human responses and detect emotion through a process called “sentimental analysis.”

“It’s really about maintaining that balance of utilizing it as a tool,” Kai says. “[You still want] connections that are in the real world.” Humans understand humans and can be the best avenue for deep conversations. At best, Chatbots can help you prepare for those in-person conversations. When you speak with someone IRL, there are a whole lot of stimuli that add context to the conversation.

It’s an extension of that embedded niceness. It can’t be the friend that keeps it real or the coach that pushes limits. It’s the person who won’t tell you there’s spinach in your teeth but claims you look great. “They analyze that [the] person is going through something, and gives them something that’s achievable [so] that they feel rewarded,” Joshi says. AI is like the perfect partner: It always thinks you’re right, doesn’t argue, and can’t criticize you — at all.

Robot Shrinks: Problem or Solution?

Dr. Robin Buckley, a relationship coach and clinical psychologist, has worked with couples where one partner was using AI as a relationship therapist. “Those are the ones that actually I get more concerned about,” Buckley says. The problem with using ChatGPT in lieu of therapy or couples coaching is that it’s based on one perspective: namely, the person inputting the information.

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FEATURES “It’s not able to see body language in the moment and respond accordingly,” Korpak says. “That connection between the therapist and the client — that doesn’t exist with AI.” But if the relationship doesn't exist, then how are people falling in love with it?

The Other Woman (or Computer)

You find a pair of underwear that aren’t yours in the laundry, or you notice a hair tie that is tangled with blonde curls (you’re a brunette), then suddenly your partner’s work schedule holds them up at the office. There are the obvious signs of physical cheating, but how do you know when a partner is cheating on you with AI? Buckley has had a total of five couples who have used AI to have extramarital affairs. These couples were all twopartner, heterosexual relationships. “The problems that [were] brought into the relationship[s] were pretty typical [of physical cheating],” Buckley says. “The other partner felt that there was a disconnect … that suddenly the partner wasn’t as attentive.” It felt like their partner was absent, although they lived and slept together. The ghost of the person they loved was physically present, but their heart had been given to the white screen on their laptop. In addition to the distance and lack of attention, she noted that in four of the five cases, there was a reduced interest in sex. For the other case, there was increased interest in sex from the cheating partner to participate in things “the couple had never explored” and that the other partner “never really wanted to explore” that their partner was now pushing for, according to Buckley. In all of Buckley’s cases, there was a “physical component” to the interactions with AI. Individuals were using AI for self-stimulation and masturbation. The chatbot can’t leave physical trails in the bedroom, but it can still get you off.

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“[In my framework], if there is some type of physical release, that is a physical affair,” Buckley says. “There’s a physical draw to that relationship.” That release is caused by a thing that doesn’t exist outside of a screen. It doesn't have a face. It definitely doesn't have a body. Its words alone make someone feel loved. But it’s still a relationship outside of the one they already have — they just can’t admit that. “Even though the partner who was having the affair felt like it wasn't really an affair, they were hiding it,” Buckley says. “Which is a clear indication that somewhere in their subconscious, they knew it was wrong.” Through intervention and coaching, the ‘cheater’ understands that they were, in fact, disloyal. Their relationship, although digital, is not that different from a human affair. “It’s breaking past that mental bias that it’s not a real person,” Buckley says. “It’s helping them understand [the AI affair is] having the same effect on their relationship [as a real person].” Passing off AI as some ‘thing’ to get rid of doesn’t work because they have a real connection with the bot. They had intimate connections and conversations with the technology you want to label as ‘your stupid computer.’ “Part of [treatment] is trying not to demonize [AI],” Buckley says. “If I go in saying, ‘AI is faulty or your enemy,’ they are going to protect it. I’ve seen that.”

AI is the New Karma Sutra

AI isn’t out to ruin your relationships — that only happens when humans muck it up. When AI is used for the betterment of the entire couple, it can have some fun results. “I have couples who use AI to spice up their sex life, who come up with ideas or role plays,” Buckley says. “I think that’s so cool.”


Buckley compares AI to pornography in relationships. It can have a presence, but if it’s used too much, it can be harmful to the partnership. The problems arise when one person gets too attached, has an affair, or uses it to fulfill their sexual fantasies without their spouse.

There’s a phenomenon called “the robotic moment,” where a human has a sense of readiness to accept companionship from AI.

But outside of the monogamous, heterosexual world, some people are using AI to explore their sexual identity.

“[The robotic moment] involves an amount of vulnerability from the participant in order to be ready enough to feel that sort of empathetic relationship,” says Lorlei Boyd, a decision intelligence developer at Gray DI, who’s done extensive research on AI.

“People have been utilizing it to talk about their desires for sex or intimacy where they might be concerned to talk to somebody else,” Korpak says. Because AI is a shame-free space, individuals have turned to AI as a confidant to discuss their fetishes, kinks, or other “alternative lifestyle” behaviors. “The best thing about AI is it doesn’t judge you,” Joshi says.

Humans communicate through the spoken word. Boyd points out that AI is “very new in the sense that it can communicate to us through our natural language.” Its responses feel friendly and not like a textbook or instruction manual. They're warm and almost human-like — the keyword is “almost.”

Korpak explains that many LGBTQ individuals in rural areas may use AI for this type of self-discovery and stimulation due to a lack of physical community. For those who are feeling lonely or socially isolated, AI is a way for them to rehearse future conversations they may be feeling anxious about or have never had before.

Dealing with people is exhausting. Texting someone who forgets to answer back is the worst — even more so when you never know what they’re going to type out.

AI isn’t trying to dismantle human relationships; it’s up to the manipulation of the user. If you want smut, that’s what you get. Looking for ways to spice it up, you got it. But at what point do we commit or break up?

Monotone consistency makes programmed robots Unpredictability makes us human — and keeps it real.

Chat…Are We Cooked?

AI can summarize your assigned reading just as easily as it can cause a divorce. It’s accessible and not going anywhere soon. Despite knowing that our reliance on it might cause a Wall-E type world, society doesn’t seem to care. We’re at the precipice of acceptance.

“We crave and need connection with people and that authentic human contact,” Korpak says.

“We crave and need connection with people and that authentic human contact,” Korpak says. Unpredictability is what makes us humans rather than programmed robots — and it keeps it real.

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Drake Mag Winter 2025 by Drake Mag - Issuu