The Swanage Oracle - September 2011

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September 2011 Wednesday, August 31, 2011 14:14 Black Magenta Yellow Cyan

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• • • • • • • • •

Boilers installed Service contracts available Full Central Heating Systems Radiators replaced Heating systems cleansed Boiler breakdowns and repairs Valves and Pumps replaced Boiler servicing and maintenance All domestic gas work undertaken

• • • • • • • •

Bathrooms (full or part) Tap changes Washing machines Tumble dryers Kitchen sinks Outside taps Above ground drainage Below ground drainage

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The Swanage Oracle Edition 41

Published by: Debbie & Stephen Corney and Martin Budden

Telephone: 01202 894397 or 01202 676661

Email: info@swanageoracle.co.uk

Copy deadline for October 2011 edition: 26th September 2011 Disclaimer: Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that data in this publication is accurate, the publisher cannot accept any liability to any party to loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause.

The Swanage Oracle d oes not officially endorse any advertising material included within the publication. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval systems or transmitted in any form, without prior permission of the publisher.

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Dear Swanage, Well I have to say that we have had a very easy summer this year. Hayden spent three fabulous weeks at Grandma and Grandad’s up in Hull. The house was rather ‘empty’ to say the least and I was very glad to have him back, but knowing he learns all sorts of skills from sorting the maggots out for fishing, to planting seeds and an oak tree, to baking a fruit crumble, to cleaning the lawn mower and even washing the doors ready for decorating… I am more than happy to let him have fun!

Unfortunately he is not quite so keen at home… It is our family holiday this week so I do hope we get some sunshine. It certainly has been mixed weather.

Here in The Swanage Oracle we have many local tradesmen and businesses offering their help. The full index at the back gives the whole range of services available. Please do call them whenever you need something done in the house. This really does make all the difference and I thank you for supporting the local people or you need something. Times are a little tougher at the moment as we know. All calls are greatly appreciated. There are many interesting articles and local Purbeck organisations and societies promoted this m o nt h too … o ne a bo ut t he Da z zl i ng Dragonflies, another about the work on the new Emmanuel Baptist Church, the Swanage Rotary, Purbeck Strings and many, many more! This month the prize wordsearch offers a free DVD and a pair of tickets to see Mantovani at The Bournemouth Pavilion in October. Great prize!

Please take a look at the new Swanage map on the centre pages! Wishing you a good month of September,

Debbie

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a s i ts e! tm K abl ris s & ail Ch ric av b Fa now e ar

Telephone: 01202 478491 www.pinksembroidery.co.uk 65 Bargates, Christchurch, BH23 1QE

“The best stocked Independent Needlecraft Supplier in the South” FOR ALL YOUR EMBROIDERY, PATCHWORK, QUILTING & HABERDASHERY SUPPLIES Adults’ & Children’s Classes Children’s Parties

OPENING TIMES Tue-Fri Sat

10am–5pm 10am–1pm

kits ▪ fabrics ▪ patchwork & quilting ▪ haberdashery ▪ zips ▪ needles ▪ scissors ▪ threads ▪ buttons ▪ ribbons ▪ braids ▪ gifts ▪ ideas ▪ advice

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Talking about wildlife with

Dazzling Dragonflies Dragonflies are amongst our most ancient insects, having been around for about 300 million years. In Britain, they are divided into two sub-orders of the insect family Odonata: dragonflies and damselflies. Damselflies are the smaller and weaker flier of the two, tending to stay close to their aquatic habitats, unlike dragonflies, which are stronger and more adventurous.

Dragonflies have featured for centuries in many folk legends and myths, revered in some cultures and feared in others.

Despite their old folklore name ‘the horse stinger’,they are harmless to humans and neither bite nor sting.

Dragonflies require a steady supply of water with plenty of vegetation, and can be found near rivers, ponds and canals, thriving in unpolluted water, therefore being reliable indicators of good water quality. They go through three life stages; egg, larva and adult.

The aquatic larvae are formidable predators and generally feed on anything smaller than themselves: small fish, ta d p o le s, a n d e v e n other larvae. The adults prey on other flying insects such as moths, m i d g e s a n d mosquitoes. They are excellent and agile fliers, and rely on their eyesight when hunting.

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The complete life cycle of the dragonfly is anywhere from a few months to a few years, the adult being the shortest, usually a couple of weeks.

Dragonflies are devoted sun worshippers and at their most active in good weather at the height of summer.

In Britain, they face threats such as habitat destruction and fragmentation, as well as pollution, and species of British dragonflies have become extinct in the last few decades.

Dorset Wildlife Trust’s Upton Heath reserve has recently been named in the top 40 sites in the UK for dragonflies and September is a great month to look for them. If you would like to join Dorset Wildlife Trust’s Dragonfly Group to help record sightings around the county, email Andrew Brown on: brown_a_r@yahoo.co.uk Common Blue Damselfly

Photo by Richard Collier

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Purbeck electrical ltd 61 High Street, Swanage Next to the Red Lion

01929 424177 Everything Electrical and fabulous lighting too!

Memory cards, phone chargers, ink cartridges and all our usual range of white goods Techie things and almost every type of light bulb made.

Also a fantastic range of clocks!

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We've gone mad at the Model Village!!

Special Offer for Swanage Residents or Holiday Makers with Children

Children 5 and under gain free* entry to the garden followed by a free* lunch! (*Maximum of two children per paying adult, adult needs to buy lunch from the main menu or specials board, choice of drink for children, squash or milk.

Prawn or crab dishes excluded.)

Valid for the whole of September with this advert!

Tel: 01929 481234

Swanage Town Twinning Assoc.

Autumn Fun How would you like to celebrate Autumn in grand style by joining your local Town Twinning Association at their Oktoberfest at Swanage & Herston Football Club on Friday October 14th?

This has proved very popular in previous years, it's laid out on the lines of a typical "Bavarian Night", plus this year we have a new host by the name of "Baron Von Schmidt Haus", he promises a really fun night.

Tickets are ÂŁ10 in advance or ÂŁ12 on the door, these are available from Sylvia on Swanage 422756, this includes an amazing buffet, book early to avoid disappointment.

Should you have a special occasion coming up why not let us provide your "Party Night" and join in the fun with all your friends.

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MEMORIALS Cremations stones, Book Memorials Gravestones in Granite, White Marble or Purbeck & Portland Limestone

WORKTOPS Polished Stone and Granite worktops Scratches removed surfaces re-polished Repairs or Replacements We also produce benches in limestone Tel Alan the Stonemason on 01929 481314 Email: alanthestonemason@googlemail.com

The Cart House, Tabbits Hill, 07841 626412 Corfe Castle, tapworksplumbing@yahoo.com BH20 5HZ

Bill Hamilton

Traditional or modern designs created in Purbeck & Cotswold limestone, Portland limestone or White Marble.

Also Stone Floors, Purbeck stone walls and heavy stone Memorial Seats.

Enquires at alanthestonemason@googlemail.com or tel: Alan the Stonemason on 01929 481314

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• SERVICING • TYRES • • MOT • AIR CONDITIONING

•Re-Spray • Insurance Work • Welding •

Supporting musicians through The Michael James Music Trust Established in 1981 in memory of the young organist and conductor Michael James BA, FRCO, to discover, promote, educate and support gifted young musicians.

Based in Wimborne Minster, the charity has its local representative as Brian Barker, proprietor of quaint and attractive Georgian Gems in Swanage High Street.

Since the Trust was established in 1981, over 550 students have been helped to reach their goals in the field of music, goals which they may not otherwise achieve.

The Trust is funded by annual concerts, by donations and personal covenants or capital gifts. If you would like to support the Trust or find out more please contact Brian at: Georgian Gems, 28 High Street, Swanage, BH19 2NU Tel: 01929 424697 Website: www.georgiangems.co.uk

Verbal valuations £1 • Any item Proceeds to go to The Michael James Music Trust

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Jurassic Jaunt: Kimmeridge Quarry, Northern Route A pleasant 3-mile downland walk situated between the coastal path and the inner ridgeway. This walk is an up-and-back walk with a loop at the top. Some open fields and some shaded areas. Ideal for a casual walk with a picnic. No significant ascents or descents on this walk .

How to get there: - Grid Reference; 918801. Turn right for Kimmeridge/Creech off the Wareham Bypass. Follow the road for about 4 miles, up onto the ridge and descend the other side. Turn right for Kimmeridge and after about a mile, just after a right hand bend, park in the quarry car park on the left .

Information: Toilets There is a village shop with toilets in Kimmeridge about 1/2 mile further down the road, and about ¼ from the end of the walk .

Walk details: As you leave the car park, turn right and follow the bend around to the left and after about 100 metres, cross the stile on the right-hand side of the road. Go straight ahead, down to the wooden railings and follow the Footpath sign (100 yards).

At the gate, bear about 45 degrees left to a stile in the hedge (200 metres).

Follow the path through the woods, over the wooden bridge and out into the field.

As you enter the field, aim about 20 degrees right and w a l k t o t h e s t i l e ab o u t halfway along the right-hand hedge (1/4 mile).

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After going over the 2 stiles in this hedgerow, bear 20 degrees left to a stile in the far hedge (200 metres). At the gateway, face the telegraph pole in the middle of the field and bear 30 degree left and head for the telegraph pole near the corner of the field (300 metres). Just to the left of the telegraph pole is a stile in the hedge. Cross this, go straight ahead, up some gravel steps and follow the path up to the gate at the road (200 metres).

Turn left, and after about 30 metres, take the right-hand track, signposted ‘Ridgeway ¾ mile’. Follow this for about 300 metres until you reach the pathway.

Turn left, proceed to the sharp right-hand bend but cross the stile in the left-hand corner (150 metres). This will take you back down to the road (400 metres).

Turn left, follow the road back to the gate you exited from when coming onto the road (600 metres). Turn right and retrace your steps back to the quarry ).

Kimmeridge Bay from the Eastern Ridgeway

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HAVE YOU JOINED OUR DINING CLUB YET? The Signature Dining Club is free to join. As well as offering money off and special offers, members get priority invitations to special events and themed evenings.

Benefits of membership include: • Buy one of our specially selected red, white or pink wines & receive your second bottle free • Lucky 7: Dine with your card and receive your 7th meal free (conditions apply) • Birthday Bonus: This is a new addition to our Diners Club, please provide us with your date of birth (excluding the year). We would like to offer you a complimentary bottle of Champagne, for you to enjoy on your birthday to accompany your meal. All usual diners card terms and conditions apply.

RECYCLE YOUR CAR FOR CASH!

Any Car in Any Condition

bought for CASH! FREE Collection 7 days a week Scrap Cars • MOT Failures Non Runners • Accident Damage Cars Classic Cars • Commercial Vehicles

EA Licensed All DVLA paperwork completed Call DMC now for prompt collection on

Tel: 01202 788451

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Pulling all the Strings Purbeck Strings Quartet Course Friday 7th to Sunday 9th of October Purbeck Strings offers an opportunity for string players of all ages and abilities to play together in quartets with coaching from the professional Stanford Quartet.

In the Stanford Quartet concert on Saturday 8th of October at 7.30 pm. in St. Mary’s Church the quartet will be performing one of Mozart’s best known quartets, the so called ‘dissonance quartet’ as well as the famous impressionist Debussy Quartet following on from their June performance of the Ravel quartet.

The weekend finishes with the annual awards presentation of 4 fine string

instruments to this year’s chosen talented young string players.

The weekend takes place at the United Reformed Church and St. Mary’s Church Swanage. Application forms can be downloaded from purbeckstrings.com or alternatively phone 07964 410 443

The Quartet explains the finer points of playing Mozart to the course members 2010

Purbeck Chess Club Purbeck Chess Club meets at Mortons House Hotel, Corfe Castle, between September to April each year, commencing at 7 pm. The club caters for players of all abilities, including beginners. Contact Secretary Brian Beard on 01929 425988 anytime.

Purbeck Railway Circle Friday 23 September Robin Moira White will talk about her ‘40 years with Railways – relating a Journey by Anecdote’. Harmans Cross Village Hall, Haycrafts Lane, Harmans Cross . 7.00 for 7.30 pm. All welcome.

For more info phone 01929 421913.

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Purbeck Stone flooring from Suttles – bespoke and beautiful These days, the words bespoke and unique are often bandied about by those who design and build high-quality products for the home. In an era of mass production, everybody wants something different that stands out from the norm. In the case of flooring from local quarry Suttles though, this uniqueness is taken to a whole new level.

The inherent characteristics within every piece of Purbeck flagstone extracted from our California Quarry in Swanage means that no two floors can ever be the same. The stone is renowned for being able to be polished to a high-gloss finish, revealing the myriad of fossils that have been embedded in it over millions of years.

As well as a beautiful stone floor that will last a lifetime, you will also have something that reflects the area in which you live and the craftsmanship that has grown up there. Polishing takes place at our masonry works in Swanage, following the sawing and squaring process.

As testament to its desirability and wide appeal, Purbeck stone flooring can be found in the likes of the British Library in London, the McDonald Institute in Cambridge as well as homes across the UK. Stone is available for both internal and external use in a choice of finishes and to suit all budgets. We can also recommend a local craftsman who can lay it.

So if you want a truly unique floor, find out more by visiting us in person at California Quarry, Panorama Road, Swanage BH19 2QS or online at www.stone.uk.com or by calling 01929 439444.

We are children friendly - plenty of board games to keep them amused.

We are dog friendly.

We are in a prime spot for rambling paths.

We have - baby changing facilities.

- disabled access and toilets.

- a large car park.

- WI - FI. - 3 en - suite B & B rooms.

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UPCOMING MUSIC GIGS: Fri 9th Sept…...Paul Antony Fri 16th Sept...24/7 Fri 23rd Sept…Jon Walsh Fri 30th Sept …Peter Jagger Fri 7th Oct…….Sonny Black Fri 14th Oct …..Peter Christie

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Swanage Chamber put themselves on the map!

Swanage and District Chamber of Commerce is growing from strength to strength. This is in part due to the artistic talents of their vice-president, Angela Sturch. Angela, who together with her husband Peter own and run Purbeck Electrical on the High Street, drew a map of Swanage showing the location of each of the Chamber members with their contact numbers on the reverse. Initially just in black and white, the members each had copies to give to their customers. They also gave copies to people arriving at Swanage train station to show some of the “hidden gems” that could be found as well as the great beach and seafront.

This has been so successful that many

new members have joined just to be on the map! The latest version, which is now in colour and can be found on our centre pages, has also been enlarged and can be found in Gilbert Road next to the station.

Chamber President, Brian Barker, and Vice-President, Angela Sturch, proudly show off the map by the station

The Purbeck Association of The National Trust Most of you will recognise the subject of this sketch as the RNLI College in Poole. So what’s it doing in a piece about our Association (apart from the fact that it was drawn by well-known local artist David Cole, who is one of our members)?

The answer is that the sketch is on the cover of our latest Newsletter, and highlights one of our forthcoming activities - a guided tour of the site followed by lunch at this, the headquarters of one of our leading charities. This is just one of 18 different visits, social events and talks we’ve organised for the next six months. We’re always looking for something new to do, so through the winter we’re having a series of monthly ‘hotpot lunches’ at Corfe Castle Tearooms. £7.50 will get members and their friends a traditional hotpot (or a vegetarian version). This seems pretty good value, and it includes the chance to catch up with old friends and make new ones.

Our annual membership is also great value at only £5, or £7.50 for a couple. If you’d like to get more out of your own National Trust membership (or your status as a Trust Volunteer) by joining us, call Membership Secretary Jay Burke on 423775 or visit our website www.purbecknt.org.uk, where you can see our whole programme of activities.

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Another successful Rotary Craft Fair and Fete It was another successful year for the Swanage Rotary Craft Fair and Fete which took place on 11 August. Over ÂŁ6,000 was raised for local, national and international causes.

This annual event is a good example of how local community groups in Swanage can work together to good effect. With help from Lions, the Carnival Committee, Harmans Cross Committee, Swanage Football Club and Rotary members, friends and families the day was turned into an enjoyable outing for both locals and holiday makers.

In addition to the traditional Rotary Fete stalls there were over 45 local stall holders, exhibiting

and selling their wares in the Craft tent and on the surrounding Sandpit Fields. Star attractions included the local young jazz band, UT Funk, the newly re-built Kart Trak and a well supported Raffle.

Rain combined with high winds failed to dampen the spirits of the hardy volunteers. Thankfully the weather brightened up enough in the afternoon to attract lots of visitors to join in the fun.

The Swanage Rotary Club wishes to express its sincere thanks to all those who helped, took part and visited to ensure that maximum funds were raised and everyone had a fun day to remember.

Bob Foster Rotary Club of Swanage & Purbeck

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IT Services for the Home and Business PC repairs, upgrades and troubleshooting Wireless networking and broadband setup Virus and Spyware removal Professional, prompt and friendly service No callout charge - No fix, no fee

01929 480529 web: www.ajvcomputing.co.uk email: enquiries@ajvcomputing.co.uk

Japanese Acupressure Therapy

Nichola Morgan B.A. Dip. Seitai Shiatsu (Japan) Shiatsu is beneficial for those suffering from migraine, anxiety attacks, breathing trouble, digestive problems, insomnia, general aches & pains for

Wholeness and Wellbeing

SWANAGE (01929) 427289

The 5th Swanage Blues & Roots Festival 7, 8, 9 October 2011 22 Indoor Venues 50+ Great Gigs – 100+ performers All free to customers

Fixed quote work Loft conversions / Cut and truss roofing Dormer and Velux windows 1 & 2 fix carpentry / Kitchens fitted Laminate flooring Replacement fascias & guttering Flat pack furniture assembled General repair work

Call Peter Albin Phone John on tel: 01929 422989 or mob: 07966 167978 Email: info@jtaylorelectrical.ltd.uk

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Mobile 07834 983022 Home 01929 425048

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Year round pleasure from your plot Grass Masterclasses at Knoll Gardens Knoll Gardens now has limited availability for its autumn season of Grass M aste rclasse s. He ld in K no ll’s impressive four-acre show garden each Masterclass is personally led by Neil Lucas, Knoll’s owner and the UK’s leading ornamental grass specialist.

The Masterclasses are centred on a tour of the Dorset garden with its impressive backdrop of rare and unusual shrubs. They cover all aspects of using grasses in a garden setting to achieve the modern naturalistic style for which Knoll is now well known.

They also provide an accessible, informative and fun insight into gardening the ‘Knoll way’ including layout and design, border preparation, choice of plants, general care and cultivation. The cost is just £30 which includes a cream tea.

“Knoll is at its best in autumn when many other gardens are past their peak,” said Neil. “Grasses are simply stunning late season plants and we actually extend our opening times to include

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Sundays in September and October.

Our Masterclasses are designed to help gardeners find out how to extend their own gardening year, and achieve year-round pleasure from their plot – regardless of its size.”

Grass Masterclasses take place on 15th and 24th September and 6th and 13nd October. This year Knoll is also hosting an RHS Grass Masterclass on 22nd September.

Professional garden designers are also catered for with two specialised Grass Masterclasses. This year these take place on 29th September and 20th October and cost £35.

For more information call 01202 873931 or visit their website online at www.knollgardens.co.uk.

Autumn colours at Knoll Gardens

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28 years experience. Installation & repairs. Bathrooms, central heating & general plumbing work undertaken. Fully Insured.

Labour is guaranteed for 12 months.

Do you like talking to people?

Are you looking to earn a little extra pocket money?

I am looking for some help in selling advertising space in our magazines on a part time basis. If you are interested in local people, are cheerful, like talking to people and have a good telephone manner then please give me a call!

Hours are flexible. The rate is ÂŁ7 an hour plus bonuses. If this sounds like something that might work for you, then call Debbie:

01202 894397 Or email: info@dorsetpublications.co.uk

SO September 2011 page 23

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MANTOVANI:HOLLYWOOD TO BROADWAY BOURNEMOUTH PAVILION THEATRE — SUN 16 OCT 2011, 7.30PM After three previous sold out concerts Paul Barrett and Franck Leprince, in association with Kenneth Mantovani, bring the sound of Mantovani back to the Bournemouth Pavilion Theatre with, Mantovani – Hollywood to Broadway on Sunday 16 October 2011.

The show takes you on a nostalgic journey from Hollywood to Broadway, featuring movie and musical classics. Hear the unique Mantovani sound in Fiddler on the Roof, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Gone With The Wind, South Pacific and Dr Zhivago.

His countless fans will also love to hear Mantovani’s multi-million selling hits including Charmaine, Moulin Rouge, Some Enchanted Evening and many more.

Local promoter and lifelong Mantovani fan, Paul Barrett, insists on recreating the full might of the original Mantovani Orchestra and he dismisses several money-saving suggestions in his bid to precisely replicate Mantovani’s original instrumental line-up.

This doesn’t come cheap but he has no regrets. “It’s what I choose to spend my money on and I am absolutely delighted with the result,” he explains. “I could be buying luxury cruises or top of the range cars but what I wanted more than anything else was to recreate the Mantovani Orchestra and I’ve done it.”

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The Swanage Oracle Prize Wordsearch U Q C X Y C K I E F C V G H E

N Y C M B A S K E T J N E H Y

P J C S A O Q R D A O K O S O

C C E S H X L H A D D L A O R

P H Q A T S E V R A H W B T M

V T F C G K Z V P L E N T Y M

S Q R D X X G S F N F E K Y M

B F U Z E D K C Y N M Q J J L

Z G I M Q A L H B B F U U A O

L W T T R J P O F R Z I T P G

W G C P E B B O N Q Z N M U D

I J R I I M Z L B H M O R W A

E N O Y P E N Q A B R X U N G

C I P A D J O G I L X F T Q V

I Y T K N M E D D G L L Y Z J

HARVEST AUTUMN ROALD DAHL PLENTY SCHOOL FRUIT EQUINOX BASKET MOON CROP

This month’s prize is a pair of tickets to see Mantovani: Hollywood to Broadway at the BIC in Bournemouth on Sunday 16th October PLUS a DVD of last year’s performance, so complete this page by 30th September and send to:

September Prize Wordsearch The Swanage Oracle, 1 Moorlands Rise, West Moors, Ferndown, BH22 0JR

SO September 2011 page 25

Name: Address:

Telephone:

______________________ ______________________ ______________________ ______________________ ______________________

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Agents for National Express Coach Tickets & Information . . . Making travel simpler All Mont

Wareham Market every Thursday & Saturday

Thursday: East Street 8-1pm Saturday: The Quay 8-2pm

All

Swanage Market including

Main Beach Car Park, Victoria

Mons

Wareham Folk Dancing Group

Stoborough Village Hall 7.309.30pm

Tues &

Discover Old Swanage guided walk

2.30pm Swanage Heritage Centre, The Square (no charge,

Weds

Heathland Ambles

RSPB Arne 10-12noon

01929 553360

Thurs

Wareham Croquet Club

Wareham Recreation Ground 10 – 1 & 2 - 5pm

01929 553633

10-11

Raptor Weekend

Arne RSPB 10 – 4pm Free

01929 553360

10-11

Clavell Tower Open Days

Kimmeridge, 10am – 4pm

01628 825925

11

Jurassic Jaunt

Priests Way/Dancing Ledge 12noon 2.5 hours £5 plus

07790 474 478 Booking Essential

11

Grand Day Out

Creech Grange, Nr Wareham 12-4 £1

01929 550905 or 552087

12

Women’s British Legion

Wareham Library 2pm

01929 555288

13

Movie Night at Harmans Cross Village Hall

“Submarine” Doors & Bar 6.45pm, film 7.30pm. £4.00

15

Access All Areas

Bovington Tank Museum

01929 405096

16

Broadmayne Market

Community Hall 2-3.30pm

01305 853765

17

Antiques & Collectables Fair

Wareham Town Hall

Enquiries 07734254619

17

The Jive Aces

Bovington Tank Museum

01929 405096

17

Sylkies Social Dancing

8-11pm, Furzebrook Village Hall

01929 552381

17-18

English Civil War Garrison

Corfe Castle

01929 481294

17-18

Fungi Foray Weekend

RSPB Arne £6 non-mem. £3 mem. Child free 10-1pm

01929 553360

18

Osprey in the Wareham Channel

Boat trip from Poole Quay to the river Frome looking for Ospreys. £11 adults £10 RSPB

Booking essential 01929 553360 www.rspb.org.uk/ datewithnature

18

Beach Clean

Warbarrow Bay 1.30-3.00

18

Marine Litter

Kimmeridge Marine Centre 103 FREE

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01929 422730 or 01929 551029

01929 481044 Booking Essential

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Find us online at www.swanageoracle.co.uk 19-1st Oct

Fireside to Wildside Animal Portraiture with

Exhibition & Sale at the Purbeck Info & Heritage

01929 552740 FREE Admission

17-18

Classic Car Show & Family Fun Day

Margaret Green, Church Knowle

01929 480474

17-18

Civil War at Corfe Castle

English Civil War Garrison, 11am-4pm, usual admission prices

01929 481294, www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ corfecastle

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Autumn Harvest

Holton Lee 10-1pm £5

01202 625562

21

Understanding Nature Course

Holton Lee 10am – 12 noon

0845 458 2758 www.wea-sw.org.uk

21

Salsa Dance Classes

Lady St. Mary First School

07971764473

22

Getting to Know Trees ..

Holton Lee 7 – 9 pm

0845 458 2758 www.wea-sw.org.uk

23

An Evening with Julian &

Lulworth Castle Tickets £35

01305 751167

24

Sun Sea & Stand-Up

British Legion & Bay View, Swanage Doors 7.30 Show

01929 422885

24

Sun Sea & Stand-Up

Harman Cross Village Hall Doors 7.20 Show 8.30 £18 inc

01929 422885

24

Grow Your Own

Holton Lee 10-1pm £15

01202 625562

24 TBC

World Record Diving Attempt

3,000 Divers in Swanage Bay TBC

01929 423 319

25

Spider Sunday

RSPB Arne 2-4.30pm Free

01929 553360

25

Charity Cycle Race

Start Wareham Middle School

07891 817418

28

A Dance A Day

Wareham Corn Exchange, Town Hall, Wareham £2.50

01305 260954 or

29

Fungi Foray

Arne RSPB Meet 2.30pm

01929 450449

30

Expressive Landscapes

Holton Lee – Residential Course

0845 458 2758 www.wea-sw.org.uk

1 Oct

Beetle Drive

Corfe Castle Village Hall, 7.30pm

01929 480242/480323

1&2 Oct

Organic Gardening Basics

Holton Lee 10 am – 5pm

0845 458 2758 www.wea-sw.org.uk

2 Oct

Wedding Fair

Upton Country Park £1.00 Admission

www.uptoncounrtypark.org

2 Oct

Antiques Fair

Corfe Village Hall 10-5pm 75p

01929 400343

27

info@activateperformingarts.org.uk

All the information has been compiled by Purbeck Information & Heritage Centre 01929 557258 and Swanage Tourist Information Centre 01929 422885 www.visitswanageandpurbeck.com and is correct to the best of our knowledge

SO September 2011 page 27

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A SHOCKING FACT ABOUT THE CERNE GIANT’S VITAL STATISTIC

E

veryone knows Dorset’s Cerne Giant – the chalk hill-figure brandishing a huge club on a hillside near the village of Cerne Abbas. And he’s brandishing a lot more besides, as he’s the only legally allowed pornographic image in Britain.

The Giant has always provided plenty of scope for speculation and wonder, tinged, perhaps, with a little envy. No one has really solved the problems of when he was made, or by whom, or why.

Unless you are unusually naïve or myopic, the most startling feature about the Giant is his gargantuan whatsit, which measures 23ft 7 ins (7.2m) in length – getting on for the length of a London bus.

You may be forgiven for thinking that whoever originally designed this iconic feature had a tendency to exaggerate.

However, recent research suggests, quite shockingly, that the thingummy was actually lengthened about the year 1908 – just over a century ago.

Previously to that year, pictures of the Giant show him with a huge circular navel. Pictures after that date show him without the navel, but with a very much larger piece of manhood – which had obviously been lengthened to incorporate the navel previously situated above its tip.

SO September 2011 page 28

The clear explanation is that some joker about that time had carefully and secretly cut the turf between youknow-what and the navel, and had then obliterated the bottom half of the navel. The intended result was that the top of the navel then became the top of the penis (oops, I’ve said it!).

If that is the case, then the earlier, pre-1908 objet d’art was a mere 15ft 8 ins (4.8m).

Who was the Edwardian practical joker? Did he ever make a deathbed confession?

---------------------------------And speaking of Cerne, it’s a wellknown fact that lovers hoping to produce a baby have traditionally had a snuggle on that very circumlocutory place. Indeed, a titled member of the aristocracy was so successful in this endeavour that he and his partner actually gave the resulting daughter the middle name of Cerne.

--------------------------------Cerne has many legends. For instance, St Augustine is said to have gone there to convert its inhabitants. He and his missionaries were met with scorn and derision, and had cows’ tails pinned onto the backs of their habits. The saint got his own back, however, and to their embarrassment the villagers of

Wednesday, August 31, 2011 14:14 Black Magenta Yellow Cyan

Find us online at www.swanageoracle.co.uk Cerne grew tails themselves, and for a while all future generations at Cerne were born with tails.

Another legend tells how St Augustine gave the village its well. He asked the locals whether they wanted beer or water – and when they tactually opted for water he struck the ground and created a well for them. The abbey has long disappeared, but St Augustine’s well still exists there.

As for the Giant, it was believed by the locals that he was a real ogre who ravaged the land around Cerne, particularly annoying farmers by stealing their sheep. At last, helped by the fairies, the inhabitants managed to capture him, flatten him out, and then

29

permanently pin him down on a convenient hillside.

Today, Cerne is well worth visiting, as one of the prettiest villages in Dorset.

-----------------------------These stories and many more can be found in David Hilliam’s most recent book, The Little Book of Dorset which has Dorset’s red, yellow and white flag on the cover (£9.99 from most bookshops).

David is a local writer and lecturer, and is also the Secretary of the Southbourne Literary Society.

David Hilliam can be contacted on 01202 251356 or by email at davidhilliam@ntlworld.com.

The Cerne Giant in all his glory.

It can be found on the hillside near the village of Cerne Abbas, to the north of Dorchester

SO September 2011 page 29

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Index of advertisers Your quick guide to everyone and everything in your Directory...

Accountants PJC Accountancy Services...... 10

Courses Overcoming Ups & Downs .....31

Insurance NFU Mutual........................... 21

Aerials Repairline .............................. 5

Electrical Appliances Purbeck Electrical................... 7

Jewellers Georgian Gems...................... 11

Electricians J. Taylor Electrical ..................21

Jobs Part-time Sales Staff.............. 23

Embroidery & Haberdashery Pinks ...................................... 5

Key Cutting & Engraving John Hagans .......................... 10

Events Mantovani: Hollywood to Broadway ..24 Purbeck Events.......................26 Purbeck Railway Circle ...........14 Purbeck Strings ......................14 Swanage Blues Festival..........21

Kitchens Real Creative Interiors ........... 32

Articles Dorset Wildlife Trust ............. 6 Grass Masterclasses.............. 22 Jurassic Jaunt ........................ 12 Purbeck Stone Flooring.......... 15 Shocking Fact: Cerne Giant.... 28 Attractions Corfe Castle Model Village .... 9 Bathrooms C&C Bathrooms..................... 23 Blinds, Curtains & Shutters Ashley Blinds ......................... 3 Builders Excellence Homes.................. 5 Carpets & Flooring Purbeck Flooring ................... 3 Cars — Recycling Dorset Motor Company......... 13 Community News Michael James Music Trust ... 11 Purbeck Area NT.................... 18 Purbeck Chess Club................ 14 Purbeck U3A.......................... 18 Swanage Chamber of Commerce .. 18 Swanage Churches ................ 8 Swanage Map ....................... 16 Swanage Rotary .................... 20 Swanage Twinning ................ 9 Computer Services AJV Computing ...................... 21 Whizz Bits.............................. 10

Exhausts Trickett Welding .................... 7 Film Schools Filmsteps................................13 Fireplaces Alan the Stonemason.............10 Fitted Furniture Custom World ........................ 9 Real Creative Interiors............32 Garage Services Swanage Auto Centre ............11 Trickett Welding .................... 7 Health & Fitness Shiatsu ...................................21 Hotels, Pubs & Restaurant Corfe Castle Tea Rooms ......... 9 Ocean Bay..............................13 The Ship Inn ...........................15

Landscaping Supplies Suttles.................................... 1 Memorial Masons Alan the Stonemason ............ 10 Plumbing and Heating C&C Plumbing........................ 23 Gasways ................................ 2 Heatwise ............................... 19 Tapworks Plumbing ............... 10 Printers Dorset Digital Print ................ 29 Property Maintenance Total Woodwork.................... 21 Puzzles Prize Wordsearch .................. 25 Shoe Repairs John Hagans .......................... 10 Taxis DMB Cars............................... 19 Tiles UK Tiles.................................. 1

Useful Numbers BT Fault Line Buses - Wilts & Dorset Chemists - Alliance - Boots - Co-op Pioneer Citizens Advice - Purbeck - Swanage Council - Purbeck District Doctor - Swanage Medical Practice Electricity - Power Loss

SO September 2011 page 30

0800 800151 01202 673555 01929 422115 01929 422096 01929 422538 01929 551257 01929 427134 01929 556561 01929 422231 08457 708090

Gas - Emergency Hospitals - Poole General - Swanage - Bournemouth NHS Direct Police Station Registrar Tues & Thurs 10—12 Social Services Train Times & Enquiries Wessex Water - Emergency

0800 111999 01202 665511 01929 422282 01202 303626 0845 4647 01929 422004 01929 427134 01929 553456 08457 484950 0845 6004600

Monday, 05 September 2011 22:32 Magenta Yellow Cyan Black

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SO September 2011 page 31

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The Swanage Oracle 1 Moorlands Rise, West Moors, Ferndown, Dorset, BH22 0JR SO September 2011 page 32

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