uKUNST

EDITION 001 | KORT EN ZOET | €2/ $2/ £2

Contents WE are uKUNST. WE are alternative.

WE are creative.

WE are independent.

WE will produce.

WE will disseminate.

We have no masters.

We are legion. uKUNST. uKUNST Manifesto uKUNST: All Is Artifice. Creative actions and productions to challenge apathetic human acceptance of religious delusions, bankrupt conventions, colonial and capitalist ideologies and plain lack of reason. (63rd line from of the uKUNST Manifesto, written by Erich Squatt, April 1, 1917). uKUNST Creative Production uKUNST develops, produces and distributes interdisciplinary arts-led creative works. uKUNST is an independent creative studio and producer delivering both in-house and external (client) products ranging from audio, visual, performance and digital arts through to literature, animation, music, print and events. By Any Media Necessary © RFM 1995.

Welcome to the first in a series of alternative and radical arts productions. Each uKUNST action, event or production is aimed at challenging the existing status quo across the arts, society, commerce and politics. Developing and producing a series of art or kunst products will deliver these actions. Each product is a standalone creative work as well as a part of the wider uKUNST canon of art provocations, products and productions. By any media necessary (© RFM 1996).

Front | ChavCoon | M Barnes-Wynters & M Mayhew 2| Intro | uKUNST Manifesto 3| Contents | Navigation & Contributors 4| Kort En Zoet | The Editor 5| Financial Meltdown | Roney FM 6| Start The Grinding Wheel & 6 Points For The Mind | Bardo Boy 7| Bowie | The Artful Dodger 8| IBM Intro | Milton Deverall 9| The Chair | Kenny Watson 10| Old Sparky | Peter Marsh 11| Digital Isolation Data Rapen | Roney FM 12| The Opposite Of Me | Michael Mavrick 13| Enough Of The Time | Linton Barbrook 14| La Valiase | The Norbitons 15| Publisher Page | Publication Info Back | RAP10 | M Barnes-Wynters Contributors Artful Dodger Bardo Boy Milton Deverall Kargan Media Linton Barbrook Michael Barnes-Wynters Matthew Edmondson Roney FM Peter Marsh Michael Mavrick Michael Mayhew The Norbitons Frère Pukowski Kenny Watson Nick Wells

www.ukunst.com © uKUNST & The Contributors 2015-2108

2 | Manifesto

Screen Face 38 2015 | Roney FM | 3

uKUNST 001 Kort En Zoet (Short And Sweet) Kort en snoepje doet het. het?

As the Bishop said to the Inquisition Panel, Well it has been a long time in coming. But here we are not referring to the long desired just desserts of the somewhat compromised and consistently underhanded ecclesiastical sector but rather to the long anticipated, awaited and dreaded uKUNST 001.

So firstly let us get one thing clear. UKUNST is an idea, an idea of revolution in human minds, intellects, hearts and souls etc. It wants to creatively funk up your existence. But, as in the financial sector, the value of the entertainment industry fluctuates like a Jackson Pollock at an orgy. Be that as it may we are here now to experience kunst, kunstlers and the modern welt. This is an observation of our shared existence and world. If the UK can have independence from Europe then we and Scotland can have independence from the UK. Now the biting makes sense…

Just because you can’t see or haven’t experienced shit, doesn’t mean it isn’t happening! (John Gennay 1876).

Austerity! Minimum wage! Tasers! Quantitative easing! Face recognition and data mining. Brexit! Oxbridge Analytical! President Poop! Fracking and global warming! Displaced peoples, malaria, public purse liberalisation and authoritarian governments. Plastic oceans, oil slick coastlines, lice-ridden cod and salmon! Lying Fux, Johannes Birdcow, Chrétien Le Gourd, Mince Gable, Hammond Organ, Rabid Rabies, Mutter Teresa! Kinder obesity and rampant youth demonization, alienation and disenfranchisement! What in the name of Oswald Muesli are we doing?

Here it is, drawn from a stellar cast of contributors, the limited first pocket edition of uKUNST One. Oh, and we collectively ask, Pimp My Art? Just you try it…

Enjoy.

Der Herausgeber May 1918

4 | Editorial | Kort En Zoet

Financial Meltdown 2016 | Roney FM | 5

Start The Grinding Wheel “Start The Grinding Wheel” Screams the emotional pigmy jumping to his feet The whole damn house on tenterhooks This year’s blue-tongued saliva fest begins Expertly sharpened steel blade touches cold bone Carved fillet of lonely single parent Fine rump of disabled blind pensioner Endless meaningless slicing of so many human lives Randomly plucked from near hedgerows And then thrown in gutters On the poor side of town Six Points For The Mind There are six points that should be tattooed onto your conceptual mind: Life is far shorter than you expect, so you will never have time to finish even a fraction of your plans.

Your life energy will run out while you expect the tank to still be half full, so even if you do live a little longer you won’t be able to do much.

Most of what you try to do and want to achieve is connected with the past, this past has already gone and completely disappeared so there is no point.

The rest of what you try to do and want to achieve is connected with the future, this future will never arrive as it is just a version of the past projected forward the past is already nothing.

If you never discover the nakedness of the present moment, you will never really be happy - then what would be the point in having lived?

Spiritual practice must end in time, so know the main point now.

Composed by a deranged phenomena weary yogi bum as a small reminder to Bardo Boy being at the beginning of the Day of the Dead 2010.

May all beings be unconditionally happy way beyond their wildest imagination!

6 | Bardo Boy | Start The Grinding Wheel 2010

Bowie, Elephant & Castle | The Artful Dodger | 7

International Buffoonery Magazine Intro There are numerous ways in which to assess the development and progression of the human being; academics and scientists through the ages have documented the species and many of these methodologies. For instance Carlos Da Vein believed that human progress could be measured by having an adult Northern European male stand next to a chimpanzee and offering a ripe banana to the first of the two to lace up a pair of brogue shoes. Einrich Messier took this experiment one step further by asking a male of similar background and height to compete in the tying of a Windsor tie knot with a middle-aged baboon.

Whichever method of assessment was used the man came a poor second.

Here at international buffoonery magazine we put away the self-referential and insular experimentation so beloved by the academic communities in favour of common sense. We believe that if a Nordic male applies for the same executive post in a corporation as a primate but is less qualified or experience in successful management that the ape should be given the role. Of course any performance related bonuses in such a situation would be negotiated with the successful candidate bearing in mind the, relatively, varied reward expectations of each individual.

Finally, for this issue we take the view that mankind has drifted away from a core ability with regard to its species’ development. This is creativity, the ability to imagine, process and materialise ideas. It is what enabled humans to shed most of their fur and have successful careers in market trading, real estate and the financial services sector in the first place. It should never be forgotten that it is God, aided by Mother Nature that put humans where they are now; it is a liberalised free market utopia that could just as easily be removed.

8 | Milton Deverall | International Buffonery

The Chair 2013 | Kenny Watson | 9

Old Sparky On January 4th 1903 at Forepaugh Circus, Coney Island, New York Thomas Edison, in an act of shameless self-promotion, electrocuted Topsy the elephant “roll up! roll up!” Topsy, born in 1875, had killed three men in as many years, including an abusive trainer. a crowd of 1500 people turned up to watch the spectacle but Edison also filmed the execution and it played to packed houses all over the country. they knew how to put on a good show in those days. You can still see it on youtube. la plus ça change “roll up! roll up!”

On May 3rd 1946 at Louisiana State Penitentiary, Angola, Louisiana Willie Francis, was strapped into the electric chair known as ‘Gruesome Gertie’ “roll up! roll up!” Francis had been convicted of the murder of his former employer Andrew Thomas, a Cajun pharmacist, there were allegations of abuse. The chair had been set up wrong by a drunken guard. When the switch was pulled and the so-called lethal surge was applied witnesses heard screams from behind the leather hood “take it off! let me breathe!”

Francis lived. His case was taken up by a young lawyer, Bertrand DeBlanc, just back from WWII. He appealed to the Supreme Court, citing various violations of equal protection, double jeopardy and cruel and unusual punishment. his case gained publicity and support. On May 9th 1947 at Louisiana State Penitentiary, Angola, Louisiana, Willie Francis was strapped into the electric chair known as ‘Gruesome Gertie’ for a second time and successfully executed. he was 18 years old.

A lie for a lie, a truth for a truth.

10 | Frere Pukowski | Old Sparky 2010

Digital Isolation - Data Rapen 2014| Roney FM | 9

The Opposite Of Me There is a beautiful terror in the truth of reality that the inferior will of men hoped would not be revealed, in the seven eternal mirrors of life, hanging forever from the tree of time.

As we collide with the future, collecting memories to keep us warm when we feel the cold of our past, while standing in our present, who among men has the full knowledge of silent understanding, to be able to live in the here and now, while seeing his future?

Is it through the recapture of once forgotten moments, where we will understand the wisdom of grace, as we grow old?

Or is it through a strength to love that was given by a King not of this World, so that we can sit in silence, and finally take notice of the groans, in the weakness of our own souls?

I have found men in their old age begin to thirst for the Water of Life; not knowing that in Spirit, He was walking with them, throughout their worldly lives.

And I have considered if a wicked man could reason to think the opposite to his very thoughts, by looking in the mirror of his mind, he would comprehend the opposite side to his illusion.

And know that he was always at the door of life.

And the life that lies at the centre of the dreams of his heart, were gifted to him freely, before, the very moment he was born.

When a man looks back over his thoughts and actions, and sees the hidden depths of the meanings of the energy of his words, he can now look into his future, and know that the opposite words inside, that he pretended to be, when he didn’t know how to live, are the living words revealed to him now, in the present, that are to be lived by grace to reflect the wisdom in the mirrors of life, that exists, on the tree of time.

The inferior will of men can no longer deny, that this is the beautiful terror of the truth in reality, that is seen in the mirrors of life, hanging forever, from the tree of time.

And by this grace, so the knowledge of the source of the mercy of salvation to my mind is revealed, as it is clearly seen, that the opposite of foolishness is wisdom.

The opposite of sterility is fertility.

The opposite of poverty is riches.

The opposite of hate is love.

The opposite of servitude is power.

The opposite of war is peace.

The opposite of deformity is beauty.

And the opposite of the devil is me.

11 |Michael Mavrick | The Opposite Of Me 2010

Enough Of The Time 2018 | Linton Barbrook | 12

Publishers Page First published in 1918

By Le Shovelle Diplomatique London SW4 Reprinted in 1968 Printed in England Original Design by K3 Media Photographs by RFM, K3 Media & The Artists All rights reserved © 2000-2018 uKUNST Magazine © uKUNST & The Contributors Published in 2018 by uKUNST Londinium, Imperial Britain The right of uKUNST, K3 Media and the various contributors to be identified as the authors of this work has been asserted in accordance with the copyright, designs and patents act 1988. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system, without either the prior permission in writing of the relevant contributors, publishers or a license, permitting restricted copying.

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Designed by K3 Media & Kargan Media

13 | The Norbitons | La Valaise 2016

Publisher Info | 14

1 | uKUNST 001 | Published by uKUNST 1