uKUNST Special Edition: THE CORVID 19 CONSPIRACY

SPECIAL | THE CORVID 19 CONSPIRACY JUNE 2020 €5/ $5/ £5

uKUNST MANIFESTO WE are uKUNST. WE are alternative.

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Creative actions and productions to challenge apathetic human acceptance of religious delusions, bankrupt conventions, colonial and capitalist ideologies and plain lack of reason. uKUNST develops, produces and distributes interdisciplinary arts-led creative works. uKUNST is an independent creative studio and producer delivering both in-house and external (client) products ranging from audio, visual, performance and digital arts through to literature, animation, music, print and events.

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Thank you for your continued interest, support and cash. uKUNST HQ www.ukunst.com 2 | Peter Marsh (Image) | Lockdown 2 April 2020

CONTENTS Front | De Briefed | Roney FM 2 | uKUNST Manifesto | Image: Lockdown 2 April 2020 | Peter Marsh 3 | Contents | Navigation & Contributors 4 | The Corvid 19 Conspiracy | The Editor 5 | #getready 24 May 2020 Q | Simon Poulter 6 | All I Need (Apparently) | Lisa Musgrave 7 | #getready 24 May 2020 A | Simon Poulter 8 | Lockdown Daddy | Wayne Brett 9 | Je Ne Regrette Croissant | Roney FM 10 | H.I.S. & N.F.M.I.O.A.A. | Chris Graham 11 | Corvid Face | Peter Marsh 12 | Black Lives Matter (Bristol) 07/06/2020 | Claudio Ahlers 13 | Edward Colston (Bristol) 07/06/2020 | Colin Moody 14 | Toxic Dom | Malcolm Garrett & Simon Poulter 15 | D.I.Y. | Rina Matsui (Flowerdrum) 16 | MPZ Middle Passage Ziggurat | Nick Wells 17 | #getready 22 May 2020 | Simon Poulter 18 | Haymaking Dances With The Inevitable | Chris Chalkley PRSC 19 | Banger Ode For Bawbag Dommo Dummings | The Tittlin Teuchter 20 | PANDEMIC | Michael Barnes-Wynters 21 | Isolation Prototype 2016 | Roney FM 22 | By Populist Demand | Wayne Brett 23 | Lockdown | Linton Barbrook 24 | Now Wash Your Hands | Michael Barnes-Wynters 25 | Scrape The Crust | Larissa Monteiro 26 | Fick Schwiens | Roney FM 27 | Publisher Page | Publication Info Back | Twitler | Anna Bean (Bluebeany)

Corvid | 3

EDITORIAL The Corvid 19 Conspiracy Over the last three months the common-sensed amongst us must have been what in the name of Ethelred The Unready (patron saint of politicians) is going on in this great country of ours?

Encouraged by government misinformation, failure, ineptitude, ignorance and incompetence many have become suspicious that there is more going on behind the political scene than is being reported. And when, in a rare fulfillment of professional journalism, ministers have been asked to explain the government’s lack of ability or honesty to the media concerning the pandemic satisfactory answers are rarely provided to the public.

Has the pandemic provided a convenient smokescreen for those in power to continue the further pillaging of the nation’s empty coffers under the guise of unprecedented altruism aimed at protecting the people and the economy? And what of the PPE (Protective Personal Equipment) fiasco including the still unexplained (and unfulfilled) procurement of such equipment from Turkey? In April the Corona Virus Act entered dodgy labyrinth of English statutes. This act is presented as a response to the current plague but a cursory glance at its contents reveals a sinister and draconian power grab aimed at further empowering the state and its agents whilst further reducing basic human rights and freedoms. In particular the legislation absolves those in power that fail the public in the execution of their statutory or regulatory duties. Concerning issues around the way the UK has dealt with the pandemic include leaving the airports open to all and sundry without viral screening, announcing the lockdown late causing avoidable deaths, refusing to encourage public protective mask wearing, a continued lack of PPE for frontline staff in health facilities and care homes, charging immigrant health and care workers non-resident charges, a continued lack of clarity in public information (e.g. the infamous change of STAY At HOME to STAY ALERT) and lifting lockdown before the R (re-infection) number and rate have fallen because the (already rotten) economy has further deteriorated. Why did the government abandon track and trace in the early days of the pandemic? These and many other questions will never be answered.

The government further aroused suspicion when PHE (Public Health England) commissioned the Fenton Report on Covid BAME preference. The disproportionate number of BAME people killed by the corona virus is rightly a cause for concern not least amongst those most affected.

It is acknowledged that there is a lack of PPE available for frontline workers. Are BAME workers last in the queue when PPE allocation is made? Ministers and media are obsessed with stating that BAME individuals are more likely to die from the corona virus. A disproportionate number of public-facing or frontline workers such as nurses, doctors, orderlies, cleaners, care home staff, retail concessions, security and transport staff are drawn from the BAME communities.

4 | Editor | The Corvid 19 Conspiracy

Many of these workers are low-waged and socio-economically disadvantaged. If your profession requires you to work in situations where contagion is rife without protective clothing and equipment then naturally your risk of infection is higher. The situation smacks of racism and injustice and yet ministers insist there is need for a public inquiry into this.

Meanwhile the pharmaceutical giant (with previous) Grafto-Schmidt Crime Welkommen becomes the focus of unwanted procurement suspicion when the PM’s Thief Advisor, Demonic Comings, holds a Mad Twatter’s Tea Party to explain his optometrist-approved vehicular eye test that required a 260-mile trip to Castile Batard. Fortunately his eyesight test and vision proved fine, unlike his explanations. There has been continued concern in scientific and medical circles that the government and particularly Comings prefer a herd immunity policy with all the natural wastage and reducing the surplus population that such a scheme contains. As minister after minister performs their pandemic briefings from number ten the ubiquitously ignorant Hatt Mancock must get first prize for remedial intelligence as he fails his every target, presents dubious data, lies about PPE procurement and launches a half-arsed track and trace system that will somehow be world-beating! It may be wiser to beat the virus first before attempting world domination.

The removal and drowning of the statue of slaver Edward Colston torn down in Bristol caused some upset for Home Secretary Pretty Patel who found the Bristolian removal of the controversial statue completely unacceptable violence and vandalism. In Minneapolis George Floyd an African American is murdered or executed by a police officer watched by his fellow officers and filmed by a member of the public. The president, as per usual, condemns the victims and calls out all the security services he can muster to quell the attack on good ole redneck American racism and white supremacy.

In Yemen, ravaged by war, most people will die in their homes. In Britain, sadly, most people will die in a home. As exhausted politicians prepare for their socially distant summer break perhaps the discontent should think less about removing the public effigies dedicated to the architects of slavery, colonization and imperialism and consider, as Guido and his followers did, the removal of the building where such evils are sanctioned and approved. Welcome to this spontaneous and passionate special edition. uKUNST Enjoy Der Herausgeber June MMXX

#getready 24 May 2020 Q | Simon Poulter | 5

6 | Lisa Musgrave | All I Need (Apparently)

#getready 24 May 2020 A | Simon Poulter | 7

8 | Wayne Brett | Lockdown Daddy

Je Ne Regrette Croissant | Roney FM | 9

10 | Chris Graham | H.I.S. & N.F.M.I.O.A.A.

Corvid Face | Peter Marsh | 11

12 | Claudio Ahlers | Black Lives Matter (Bristol) 07/06/2020

Edward Colston (Bristol) 07/06/2020 | Colin Moody | 13

14 | Malcolm Garrett & Simon Poulter | Toxic Dom

D.I.Y. | Rina Matsui (Flowerdrum) | 15

16 | Nick Wells | MPZ Middle Passage Ziggurat

#getready 22 May 2020 | Simon Poulter | 17

18 | Chris Chalkley PRSC | Haymaking Dances With The Inevitable

BANGER ODE FOR BAWBAG DOMMO DUMMINGS

Art thou the new Thomas Cromwell from way up on high or maybe just a wee sick dreamer with a head full of shite you’re holding a large leather satchel like some religious artefact stuffed out with Cambridge Analytica game theory crap we can see you precisely we know just who you are you’re a bucket of floor scrapings still driving a car a man who’s an “outsider” and thinks he’s so cool but you’re an establishment tosser and monumental tool We’re not won over by your little pogrom of childish deceit Steve Bannon’s your mentor and the alt-right pays your receipts you’re a fool of a man just fooling a few of the fool’s fools but us people of the far north can see your cunning little ruse you’re the new Judas holding up 30,000 pieces of stolen silver maybe we should pickle you up - slice you up into thin slivers bury your head deep in the foundations of the brand new beginning a place where you’ll have no use for your ill-gotten winnings the Faragean toad of toad hall can be placed by your side with Lord Beano the Moggite and Priti Vacant the Sly Coughing King Covid watching helplessly as you all perish and the rest of us shout Slangevar with roar with relish the fool on the hill will soon enough cast out the fool in the palace the mad hatter will dance in the rose garden with a naked Alice a worried King Covid will then run for his very life as he ran right away from any responsibility for his ex-wife

De Piffel the dribbler has already had his final number called the devil is sharpening the guillotine for when it finally falls to behead the vacant pretender free of original thought other than ‘er’ and ‘um’ and ‘crikey’ and ‘feel my pork’ hold that thought fellow travellers as you sip an ice-cold beer lockdown will end eventually then we will all cheer as we rush over the barricades then climb the paper-castle walls destroy the BBC propaganda with its neocon double--speak the lies long and tall we must rely on our intelligence that’s the only innately certain way let’s also make things multicoloured - end this corporate grey we can take these politicians, cook ‘em, feed ‘em to fish throw their spare body parts to wolves from a old gold dish barbecue their empty souls for banquet with green eggs and ham serve their gizzards to the old Tory voters with traditional spam my words could roll on but we need to get on with the job we need to be smart - waltz round the antics of secret service mr plod just remember your real birthright - stop wasting yerself on Facebook crap we know what’s needed - we’re plugged in to a real-world app let’s get out there and help - the sunshine’s on the wide open road and to those named Dommo Dummings who say different say FUCK NO The Tittlin Teuchter 11th of June in the vision of dark lord 2020

Banger Ode For Bawbag Dommo Dummings | The Tittlin Teuchter | 19

20 | Michael Barnes-Wynters | PANDEMIC

Isolation Prototype 2016 | Roney FM | 21

22 | Wayne Brett | By Populist Demand

PUBLISHERS LOCKDOWN PAGE What comes here to haunt Our solitary fears?

Unseen in breath on hand Or riding particulate pollution To invade the very metaphor of war.

Memories in lockdown Are crooked crossed And curious implausibilities Disintegration of time in times As absent de-lineation of moments Foment this incautious rabble Of untempered thoughts Scattered but nonetheless coalesced In temporary understandings.

Our leaderless leadership Scurry as ants whose secret safe house De-roofed by the massive boot Of the smallest slice of almost life Reveals poverty of planning; Callousness of caring For our species vulnerabilities.

Status quo unhinged Co-operative responses arrested Modus operandi contested Viral knowledge mediated Socially protested Beliefs suggested Truths sequestered polity suspended Cure dangerous as the malady.

These are turbulent waters As less than competent captains Capsize for want of one line captions Of persuasive actions And personnel protections.

Wasted on some.

Foisted on all.

The lie lies propagandist upon Pernicious veracities of power.

In the place of supposedly sanctioned Democratic engagement of equals.

Lockdown | Linton Barbrook | 23

24 | Michael Barnes-Wynters | Now Wash Your Hands

Scrape The Crust | Larissa Monteiro | 25

26 | Roney FM | Fick Schwiens

PUBLISHER First published in 2020 by uKUNST United Kingdom The European Union Printed in England Original Design by K3 Media Photographs by RFM, K3 Media & The Artists All rights reserved © 2006-2020 uKUNST Magazine © uKUNST & The Contributors Published in 2020 by uKUNST, Londinium, Imperial Britain The right of uKUNST, K3 Media and the various contributors to be identified as the authors of this work has been asserted in accordance with the copyright, designs and patents act 1988.

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Publication Info | Publisher | 27