A DOSE OF CONFIDENCE

By: Jane Sullivan

The Pope was in a hurry to get from one event to the next. He hopped in the back seat of his limousine and asked the driver to step on it.

“Go faster,” he told the driver. Finally, the Pope demanded that the driver pull over immediately and switch seats with him.

The Pope took his seat behind the wheel of the car and flew down the highway. After only a few miles, a police car with flashing red and blue lights pulled the Pope over.

When the officer saw who was in the driver’s seat, he wasn’t sure what to do. He went to his radio and called the chief.

“Chief,” he said, “I pulled a speeding limo over, but I’m not sure what to do.”

“Give him a ticket,” said the chief.

“But he’s very important,” replied the officer.

“Who is it, the mayor?” asked the chief.

“No, he’s more important than the mayor.”

“The governor?”

“No,” said the officer, “more important than the governor.”

“Is it the president?” asked the chief.

“Well, Chief, I don’t know who it is, but his driver is the Pope.” (Courtesy of Bell Veterinary Services)

Kooky Kids

A lady lost her purse while shopping at a busy shopping mall. A little boy found the bag and tracked her down to return it.

“Thank you so much little boy,” the woman said, checking her wallet. “That’s funny – when I lost the bag there was a $100 bill in here, but now there are a hundred $1 bills.”

The boy explained, “That’s right, ma’am. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

The orderly officer received a complaint about the issue of bread.

“Soldiers should not make a fuss about trivialities, my man,” he said. “If Napoleon had that bread when he was crossing the Alps, he’d have eaten it with delight!”

“Yes sir,” said the corporal. “But it would have been fresh then!”