What's the secret to 45 years of marriage?

BY CHAD TURNER

“Don’t overanalyze. Ride the wave. All the small stuff doesn’t matter. Enjoy each other.

With Chuck’s identifiable rasp in his voice, he explained the secrets of life and how they have carried them through 45 years of marriage. However, it was the family values they were surrounded by growing up that they credit more than anything to their success. When Becky and Chuck met, it was through a connection that started like a classic telling of a joke, as Becky explained, “We met through my college roommates’ sister’s uncle, who said, I’m gonna fix you up.” And then, as they say, the rest is history. Both Chuck and Becky are involved in Dobson Ranch activities, clubs, and events. You can also see them in their restored Model A, driving around during cooler weather, especially in December, looking at all the Christmas lights. “The grandkids love sitting in the rumble seat.” Says Becky.

They recently celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary on July 12, with Chuck mentioning they play the video from their wedding day, as they do every year, and realize how fortunate they were to have that gift. They take advantage of it every year to remember that day. “It’s the coolest thing.” He said. Chuck made it a point for other married couples to “Keep that day in mind.” Chuck and Becky both agree that patience is another key element to a successful marriage. “We still have disagreements. Everyone does, but as we age, we appreciate each other, our abilities, and our mental capacity.” Chuck finds the humor in many references to life, as he shared more thoughts, “I look at these old guys, and say to myself, I’m never gonna be that guy, but all of a sudden, I’m that guy.”

In 1992, when their two boys were little, they chose Dobson Ranch for multiple reasons, but one specific reason was the reputation of the surrounding schools, as well as the location between their jobs. Another was that Dobson Ranch had a home option for a lake or golf course view. They chose the golf course. Chuck commented, “When you’re in the backyard talking and drinking coffee, you look out at the view, it’s gorgeous to look at, and it looks like your yard, but I don’t have to take care of it.”

They also attribute the success of their marriage to being involved in a community. “We are very involved with our Church and our community.” As many know, Becky has instructed water aerobics at Dobson Ranch for the past 20 years, and she states, “I still love doing it.” Becky shared the times when she attended a local fitness center and no one remembered her name. She didn’t feel as if she mattered to them, and this was unacceptable to her. Becky insists this would not be the case in her class.

There were some tough times at the beginning of water aerobics, some 20 years ago, and more recently, but Becky has overcome the obstacles that may break others, and she has persevered. As a result, the Water Aerobics class is now stronger than ever. She attributes her success to the people in the class, but also gives thanks to Chuck for his music choices to keep the groove and energy lively. “Move and be social.” It’s the motto they both live by.

Days after my interview with them, I witnessed a moment between them before water aerobics started that speaks volumes about their commitment to each other. Their hands connected as if magnetized, and a sincere “I love you” was exchanged between them as they parted for the morning. The genuine care in that moment was a prime example of how their marriage has stood the test of time after 45 years.