gdfhgdfhfsdhfd

THE UMBRELLA LADY T H E S TO R Y O F M A R I A M A RT I N E Z G O M E Z D AV I D R O W N T R E E

Copyright © 2022 by David Rowntree.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

The umbrella lady / David Rowntree. — 1st edition ISBN 978-0-0000000-0-0

This book is dedicated to Margaret Mary Schenk Rowntree, forever my inspiration, my hero.

Maria and Marge

About the Author David Rowntree grew up in Rochester, New York. He married the first girl he ever kissed, wrote love letters to her and shared her life for 68 years.

Rowntree majored in Spanish and minored in Greek. He served his country, lived in Alaska, Hawaii and California, and raised two beautiful children.

He dedicated his life to being a bricklayer and shared his craft in ways that changed lives in places where miracles were built.

Rowntree published his first book, a memoir about his lifelong love affair with his wife, in 2020. In 2021, he wrote his second book, about Webb Park, Mother Nature’s beautiful treasure.

In 2022, he published this book, which he wrote shortly after 1990, when 1,500 volunteers from around the world helped build 100 homes in Tijuana, Mexico, for Habitat for Humanity.

He didn’t think twice about rolling up his sleeves and serving as un maestro, a teacher, who taught the volunteers how to cement the walls of each home.

He jotted down his thoughts on the life-changing experience.

He eventually wrote the story, sent it through a dot matrix printer, bound it at a copy shop, stuck it in a closet and forgot about it … until he wrote his memoir. That’s when memories came flooding back of the Habitat for Humanity project — and all the good work he and his wife did, after being inspired by the people they met and the friends they made there.

This book, called The Umbrella Lady — the first book written and third book published — brings much of Rowntree’s story fullcircle.

Acknowledgment To my beloved Margie, I give my greatest thanks for making this book possible. Without her total commitment all those years in Mexico, there would not have been an Umbrella Lady or any other story.

David Darling has been a constant help with all those many technical problems caused by the author. Thanks to David for bringing to our project a highly skilled Kateryna Ilnytska,who worked under dreadful conditions in war torn Ukraine.

Thank you Meg Rowntree,”your Mother’s daughter,” for so much of your time.You have her drive for perfection.

Lastly, that one individual who, somehow, always has input on what I write. Thank you for that, Krystn Shrieve.

Maria Martinez Gomez “The Umbrella Lady”

CONTENTS Introduction.......................................................................................................8 NEW BEDS. NEW PAINT........................................................................20 NEW FACES. NEW FRIENDS............................................................... 34 BIRDS. BIRDS. MOCKING BIRDS...................................................... 39 THE RED DRESS......................................................................................... 47 FIREPLACE REVISITED...........................................................................55 THE YOUTH MEETS THE UMBRELLA LADY..............................61 BIRDS AND BEER....................................................................................... 65 FELIX................................................................................................................69 THE BALLOON. EL GLOBO....................................................................71 JOE GUTH....................................................................................................... 74 SEAPORT VILLAGE................................................................................... 77 OLD FRIENDS..............................................................................................80 MARIA’S LOT AND GABRIEL.............................................................. 87 RAIN! RAIN!................................................................................................. 92 HER FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY............................................................94 SOMBRILLA AND SOBRINA...............................................................102 LUPE AND THE LOT............................................................................... 104 THE LOT, LUPE AND LUNCH............................................................ 107 CHRISTMAS EVE, 1997........................................................................... 110 MERRY CHRISTMAS................................................................................115 KARINA AND MARIA............................................................................. 117 10 MONTHS 4 DAYS................................................................................ 126 THE FALL.......................................................................................................139 HOLY THURSDAY.....................................................................................143 NUMBER FOUR......................................................................................... 146 CARLOS AND PABLO..............................................................................151 PLAZA DEL PARQUE............................................................................... 155 HELEN OF TROY. PRINCESS DIANA. MARY POPPINS.........163

AN OPPORTUNITY OF LIFETIME....................................................167 LUNCH WITH KARINA AND A DREAM COME TRUE......... 169 THE PICNIC..................................................................................................173 GREEN GRASS............................................................................................176 THE LONG WAIT ENDS.........................................................................182 SECOND BIRTHDAY............................................................................... 190 THE SECOND CELEBRATION........................................................... 194 RETURN TO #35.........................................................................................197 MARIA VISITS MARIANO.................................................................. 199 GUARDIAN ANGEL.................................................................................203 LA DOCTORA.............................................................................................205 “I LOVE YOU MAGIE”.............................................................................207 MONTSERRAT LEAVES........................................................................ 210 VILLA FONTANA......................................................................................213 VILLA FONTANA VISITED.................................................................. 215 THE LOT........................................................................................................220 THE KEY.........................................................................................................221 JUNE 26,1990- JUNE 26,1999.................................................................224 CALAFIA....................................................................................................... 236 FIRST PARTY.............................................................................................. 239 THIRD BIRTHDAY...................................................................................244 CIEN ANOS................................................................................................. 250 A CHRISTMAS STORY..........................................................................264 UNFORGETTABLE................................................................................... 272

DAVID ROWNTREE

INTRODUCTION

M

arge and I first met the “Umbrella Lady” at the Otay/ Mesa border crossing in the spring of 1996. We gave her that name because she always carried an

umbrella. Later we learned the umbrella served two purposes; to shield herself from the elements and to hide her embarrassment as she was forced to beg for her livelihood. Every Saturday and Sunday she would sit in a wheelchair between the lines of cars together with several other disabled people, and wait for any donations from passing motorists. With her boys ever-present, she would spend eight to ten hours braving the harsh sun in summer and rain in winter. The exhaust fumes from the cars were always present.

As our friendship grew we found that she had no other choice.

Stricken by polio as a baby she has spent her life imprisoned in heavy, iron, leg braces, using orthopedic crutches when forced to rise and walk a few steps. Her boys, Manuel, age eleven, and Javier, age nine, are ever-present.

Since hers are useless. they have become their mother’s legs.

During the week she remains in a dark terribly depressing room while the boys are at school. What fine boys they are, personable, friendly, and full of love for their mother! We are amazed at how neat and clean they look in their school uniforms in spite of the fact that the room lacks running water and a toilet.

Dozens of times we passed her on our return from visiting friends Mariano and Matamoros always left a donation of money and at times a bag of clothing. Her smile and appreciation for any gift were quite sincere. Though her clothes were old and tattered, she was as neat and clean as her boys when they went off to school.

Some of those who go to the border to beg are not clean. This family, though desperately poor, was proud. On one of our trips, 8

Our Lifelong Love Affair I gave her a note telling of our volunteer working in Mexico and hoped to assure her that we wanted to help her and the boys. There was no response. Perhaps she was afraid to become our friend, embarrassed by their living conditions. At least, we know now her name, MARIA. MARIE: the Umbrella Lady.

For the past several years at Christmastime, Marge and I have conducted a food collection for our many friends in the Jimmy Carter project in Mariano Matamoros. This was a perfect time to find out where Maria and the boys lived.” Maria, I want to bring you and the boys food and a turkey for Christmas. Please tell me where you live.” At last, she responded, “come to the linea tomorrow and the boys will bring you to our place”. The next day when I entered that terrible, dark room, Maria was sitting on an old mattress, washing dishes in a large galvanized tub. Her eightfoot by twelve-foot room has two mattresses, no tables or chairs, no running water, and no toilet. A make-shift extension cord to a neighborhood’s house serves as power for an old refrigerator, one light bulb, and an old donated TV. She cooks on a two-burner propane stove. Their water comes from another neighbor via a garden hose. That is it! That is Maria’s world! They live in this cement block storage shed as squatters risking eviction at any time by the government. Maria cried when we entered with the Christmas goods. She was overcome by the sight of so much food.

I cried also as she dragged her twisted legs together and struggled to stand. It was the first time I had seen her upright.

On that first visit, we talked mostly about her life. Born into an incredibly poor family in Guadalajara, Maria was the last of ten sisters and three brothers. Their one-room home with adobe walls, thatched roof, and dirt floor, was built by her father. Because her legs were so deformed Maria had to crawl about the property like an animal. Several years later she was taken to a charity hospital where she underwent many operations over a three-year period.

9

DAVID ROWNTREE During that time, though never visited by her family, Maria was befriended by the hospital nuns and taught to read.

Why did you come north, Maria? Her two-word answer cut to my heart, “to eat.” In that poor farming village, a crippled girl would have no opportunity to survive. For the most part, her family abandoned her after her affliction. Perhaps they felt guilty for having so many children. After her boys were born, Maria decided that she must leave. “I’ll not have my boys become “burros, by staying there”.

Weather and health permitting, Maria earns about $30 each weekend. During the holiday season, she sometimes earns $50 or more. Don’t ask how she manages with these meager earnings but she does and is able to provide the bare necessities for the three while keeping the boys in school. The two have not missed any schooling thus far. That is rare in a country where so many children do not attend or miss several years because of financial strain. To complete the first six years of grammar school is a major feat in Mexico.

This semi-literate Indian girl never went to school and can barely write her name, yet she understands how important an education is and what the future will hold for her boys without it. What sort of a person is this who could attract Marge and me and capture our love at that very first meeting? Who is this person who reads the bible to her boys each night and forsakes television except for a few minutes each day with the news? Who has maintained a solid faith in God these thirty- four years of such a sad life? What kind of a person who has almost nothing would share with a neighbor.

We had no answer yet, but surely they will come as we follow the life of this remarkable lady, Maria Martinez Gomez. “The Umbrella Lady”.

Yesterday we went to the Maria’s house for lunch. It was a rainy day and, as a result, we arrived late. Maria was so worried that we 10

Our Lifelong Love Affair were not coming. She felt perhaps we had better things to do. Then she became nervous about her meal. The rice was too hard, the pork was not tender enough, and on and on. Finally, we assured her that everything would be just fine. Maria had never entertained Americans before. The boys went next door to borrow two chairs.

They have nothing to sit on except mattresses. Marge was so nervous watching Maria cook at her little propane stove. She is barely 5 feet tall, and her stove is at her eye level. The boys went out to a nearby store and bought fresh corn tortillas. As we were just sitting down she sent Manuel out again. This time he returned with napkins. Americans always use napkins. Maria served us first and protesting in vain, we ate while they watched. In Mexico, this is the custom. What a fine meal it was! A tasty pork dish with tomatoes and chiles; a wonderful white fish dipped in a batter; fried rice and chiles, and the tortillas. She continued to express doubts about the food. I told her that we have eaten in many homes in the Tijuana area and her cooking is among the best. And, it was!

All this accom­plished without being able to stand unassisted.

Maria was very interested in Marge; what nice legs she has, hers are terribly deformed. Her white skin, (a sign of status perhaps).

Did she color her hair,[no]? Surely this was Maria’s first prolonged contact with an American lady. She asked about our children, where they lived, did we see them often, did we love them. Maria has no contact with any of her family. Meanwhile, Manuel and Javier were busy asking me all sorts of questions; “what is this word in English, what are the numbers in English”.They are bright boys. Fortunately, I brought a printout of the alphabet with me and so, we had a mini English lesson while their mother rested on the bed. Maria cannot stand for any length of time. We kept praising the boys and how proud she must be. With their Christmas money, they each bought wristwatches. They can tell time. I doubt their mother can.

11

DAVID ROWNTREE Maria feels so inferior that we must continually boast about her boys, her cooking, her ability to keep house, and her stamina to withstand that ordeal at the border every week. She neither eats nor drinks anything during those hours between the lines of cars.

There are no facilities.

We visited for several hours. The conditions at her house are stark. It never really hit us until we returned home that day. As I have mentioned before, there is no water, chairs, tables, etc., and, no toilet, literally, no toilet! Marge and I talked about her situation later that evening. We both spent a restless night. To add to her problems, her roof leaks. “Only a little bit,” she adds.

“Will you visit me again?” Yes.”When?” Soon. On the next visit, Margarita will bring the meal. We had another argument about that. She is becoming more relaxed in our company. We will make another date to visit Maria. The next time Maria will be the honored guest and she will be served first.

January 30.

We received great news. The St.Vincent dePaul organization notified us that our request for aid for Maria was granted. The first step toward new braces has been taken. The next day I went down to her house to tell her the news. She was so happy that she began to cry. Maria had little hope of replacing her heavy, broken braces. I must explain that this was not the first step but rather the culmination of many phone calls by Marge to various organizations seeking help. The St.Vincent dePaul group will furnish all that is necessary to fit Maria with new braces. At that time she will be able to walk, albeit with canes, for several hours at a time. She says, in order to enter the U.S., Maria needs an I.D.card issued by the Mexican Government. This, along with a letter to INS, will allow her to fulfill the necessary medical appointments. Monday, 12

Our Lifelong Love Affair Maria will go to the local government office and apply for an ID. I hope the Mexican red tape does not rear its ugly head. She is very enthused and promised to do her part.

The boys were preparing for school. They go from 1-5 PM, each day. They each took their bath/shower out in the back with a bucket of water. When in uniform they looked like two scrubbed angels. In Mexico, grammar and high school students all wear uniforms. The boys, maroon trousers and white shirts; the girls, plaid skirts, white blouses, and knee-high colored socks. The color depicts their level in school. Off they went at exactly 12:55. Not one minute before or later. Maria was adamant about that. The boys moaned and groaned, and cried and begged. To no avail. School starts at 1:00, and the teacher does not want the kids there early.

They want to go early to play football, (soccer). After they left we talked more about our lives. She dislikes going to the border, the humiliation, and perhaps, more importantly, the car fumes that she ingests for hours at a time. All those many times we met it never occurred to me that she was in such danger. I fear it will take its toll, unless. Unless somehow we can get her out of there and into some kind of humane work. More phone calls by Marge. More endless conversations with each other. Picking our brains, more prayers. Why not, she’s a great investment!

St.Valentine’s Day we went down to Mariano to visit friends and talked to Don Nacho about his family. Ofelia and her family are staying in the Los Angeles area. That makes three of the girls up here now; Susana, Argelia, and Ofelia. Even though he still has two girls and one son in Mariano he misses them very much. He rented his house to a nice family and is living in Ofelia’s house.

Prisciliana was home so we saw her also. Our invitation to visit us will have to wait because Pollo is being married next week. We are invited to the party after the ceremony. Great! Mole Poblano and lots of good Mexican food.

13

DAVID ROWNTREE On the way home, we stopped to see Maria. The boys were in school, so, she welcomed our visit. Thanks to Marge’s brother we were able to buy her two folding card chairs. We told her that they are an early birthday gift. Her real birthday is not until October (explain later). We’ll celebrate again then. She was very appreciative. She came close to tears again. “Please Maria, don’t cry.” A very emotional lady, Maria. When we arrived she was standing outside in the warm sunlight. Her little cement block room was still cold from the previous night. We talked and talked about various subjects. She just loves to visit and ask all kinds of questions. Her life has been so confined. It seems like a rusty door that is being pried open just those few inches and a rush of life has entered. Maria has already told us several times that our visits and friendship are more important to her than anything we bring to her home. How blessed we are to be her friend!

We were very excited about seeing her new ID card. She proudly brought it out. It seems the photos never look like the person. I joked with her about whose picture is this. As I studied the card two things jumped out at me. They, the local government office, had made two errors; her name was misspelled and the date of her birth was wrong. INS just thrives on mistakes like that!

Then Maria came out with her story about her trip to the DIF office. Maria is almost a non-person in Mexico. No job, no utility bills, no rent receipts, nothing. The secretary told her, sorry we cannot issue you any ID card. Then Maria told her story about the new braces and her need to come to San Diego several times. No card no entry. Then the tears came along with her pleading. The secretary melted and ran in to get her boss. The administrator likewise melted. Maria had her card that same day. The misspelled name was a minor error. They changed her birth date because a person of her circumstances cannot receive an ID card if they are under 40 years of age. So, Maria is now 40 years old! Needless 14

Our Lifelong Love Affair to say, she does not like that idea.”Maria, it’s only make-believe.

Memorize your new birth date so INS will have no problems. “She is still not happy about this out­come. She laughs, she is having fun with this also. As we talked I told her how effective the tears were. She nodded the idea was filed away for future use. Absent any schooling, this is a very smart lady. Survival!

Valentine’s Day is celebrated in Mexico; el Dia de los Enamorados, Lovers’ Day. Marge brought Maria a box of chocolates. To our very special Mexican Valentine!” Hide them from the boys, it is you treat.” For sure she will share them that very night.

It was time to leave. We, all three of us, were saddened by the thought. As our friendship has grown, language difficul­ies lessen.

We have seen it before; many times. She so wishes that Marge could speak Spanish. She loves to talk with her. By now Maria knows that we will come again to visit. “Please, again, soon.” Yes.

March 7.

It seems our visits are more frequent. When a friend has hardly anything, we are continually looking for things to bring to Maria.

What luck! Marge found a pair of shoes for Maria; of all places, at the Vincent dePaul thrift store. To­gether we found some plates, silverware, and a castiron skillet. Now, we had an excuse to travel south. We also had another reason to see Maria. That will come later. As I have mentioned before, Maria’s shoes are in tatters. Her feet are tiny. I tell her that she has “pies comouna muneca”, doll feet. It was no small task to find her shoes. She just loves those little “Mary Jane “shoes. Cradles them like a mother would her newborn baby.” I will try them on tonight when the braces are off. Tomorrow I will wear them to the border.” Have I mentioned how fastidious Maria is about her appearance at the border? She shines like the boys do when they are off to school. Hair washed, 15

DAVID ROWNTREE face made up (not overly), clean clothes, the whole bit. She tells us that she does not want to be seen looking dirty by anyone. Poverty does not suggest being dirty or lazy. Almost without exception, our friends are very poor. Yet, they stand tall in their sense of personal dignity.

Marge brought some knee-high nylons. These will be fine for the warm weather. We remarked about her heavy­looking plaid stockings.”I made these from a sweater you brought me last year.

“I did not remember. Clever lady; she had cut the sleeves from the sweater and was using them as stockings. It gets quite cold along the border in winter.

Even out of school the boys are very clean. They had new haircuts; guess who cut their hair? A nice neat job.

It was getting late and we still had one more piece of news for Maria.”Would you like new beds for you and the boys?” Silly question. Their beds are not much better than straw mats.

She literally fell back on her bed when we told her that our friend would like to give her and the boys new beds. There was no stopping her tears this time. When Maria cries we all cry. After the tears, we explained that we would look for beds in the Tijuana area. Bringing beds from the US would be next to impossible for us. Government [Mexican] red tape. A twin bed for her and bunk beds for the boys. More space with the bunk beds. I showed her our friend’s photo.”This is the lady who wishes to give the beds.”

Still speechless. We must leave now. It is getting late.” You came at 2:30 and it is only 4:00. Please, would you stay for a little while?

Five minutes more, please?” How well do we remember those days when our kids said the same thing. “Ok, 5 minutes.” It’s always difficult for us to leave. We love you, Maria. Till Next time.

After leaving that day we looked for beds in her area; but nothing of any quality. Later that week Marge called our dentist’s sister, Lupe. She said there was a good fur­niture store close by 16

Our Lifelong Love Affair his office. Saturday we checked out their wares; huge store, good quality, good selection. With all the price info in hand, we rushed back to Rancho Bernardo. I wanted to call our friend fast. God bless her, she said ok; wrote out a check for the full amount. We can hardly wait to tell Maria this news. The beds will be delivered on Holy Thursday afternoon. We’ll be there along with an Easter ham that Marge is bringing for the family.

I happened to mention that we had 5 gallons of extra paint waiting for the trip south. Marge said, “how nice it would be if Maria had brightly painted walls. “To go with her new beds?” Holy Thursday is going to be a fun day. This week I must see Maria and make plans. More tears.

Stay tuned.

March 19.

I went down to the furniture store to give a deposit on the beds.

They appeared a little nervous because we had not put any money down on such a large order. Afterward, everyone was happy. The owner came over and we had a nice talk. He has two other branches in Tijuana. An American at that!

I took a scenic route over to Maria’s, through town and several middle-class barrios. Past the airport and then to her little street.

As usual, she was happy to have company. The boys were just finishing their lunch and preparing for school. The boys’ father, Jaime, was there, helping with the cleaning and washing clothes.

Maria says that they have no interest in getting together; they fear total commitment and responsibility. He takes much interest in his boys and loves them very much. He works at a nearby plant so is able to spend time with the boys during the days. Maria told me that since we have been visiting her he has shown more interest in the boys. Yet, they appear not to be interested in a solid 17

DAVID ROWNTREE relationship. He makes very little money at the plant, somewhere in the $35-$40 per week range. Wages are very low in these mostly foreign-owned plants.

While Jaime was busy washing, we talked about various things.

Did we wash every day, our clothes are so clean. What type of washing machine do we have; hers no longer works. A clothes dryer was an almost unknown item to her. I explained to Maria that 100 years ago, everyone in the US washed by hand. Today, almost everyone in Mexico washes by hand. Nevertheless, hand washing and drying in the sun results in beautiful clothes.

I had given Manuel money to buy me a watch, like his Christmas gift. He was quite proud to hand me the watch he had bought all by himself.

My main reason for our visit was to tell Maria that her beds were ordered and will be delivered next Thursday, March 27. She is so happy about this event. She said that she has never owned anything of this size, new. This is going to be a huge emotional event for Maria. On top of that, I asked her if we could paint her room. She answered, yes, but Jaime can do the painting. Oh no, I paint and Jaime can help me. He readily assented. Then I brought in the paint and all the supplies we needed. I’ll make lunch then.

No, Margarita is bringing all the food. You will be the “Jefa “, or boss that day. Ok, I’ll dress up and you can take my photo. Finally, a picture of Maria! Our friends are waiting to see what she looks like.

She is beautiful! We ate roasted, salted peanuts and talked. These were another first in her life. It was then that Maria told me about her tragic encounter with polio. She was struck when just a baby, only a few months old. In the US, everyone had polio shots by the time Maria was born. Her legs were twisted and bent up behind.

Her family was horrified. The last of 13, and then this happens.

Was this a punishment from God? Everyone abandoned her, literally! Somehow she ended up in a charitable hospital, similar to 18

Our Lifelong Love Affair Shriners’. After several operations and three years in the hospital, Maria went back to her frightened, unloving family. Not once did anyone visit her during those three years! Then began many years of loneliness and imprisonment in braces and wheelchairs. I suppose when Jaime came along she was happy to come north, “to eat”, as she has said to me. Considering her life to this point, Maria has a wonderfully optimistic outlook and an ironclad faith in God. This comes forth in much of her conversation.

As our visit was concluding, she asked me to stay for “ just 10 minutes more”. That 10 stretched to 30. I left promising our return on Thursday. It should prove to be a fun day.

19

DAVID ROWNTREE

NEW BEDS. NEW PAINT.

F

our simple words. Yet, they signify a day full of fun excitement, and new experiences. Early Thursday morning Marge prepared the lunch and I got the painting

mater­ials ready. We arrived a little late at #35 Guillermo Prieto.

(Maria’s street). Already she was nervous about our delay. She and the boys had prepared the room for painting. I told her that the beds were being delivered between 3-5. How excited she was. She had never slept on a new bed. I was amazed at the condition of the old beds. The springs were almost non-existent. They were very old when she received them 6 years ago. The painting went very quickly. Her room is less than 100 square feet.

Then we began the part that she likes the best, chatting, or “platicando”. She is literally starved for adult friendship. The subjects range from food and drink to her trip to Tijuana. Their needs are few and simple. Drinking water costs her $1.00 for 5 liters. Since she has no running water, all the dishes are cleaned in the galvanized tub with hose water. She washes in the same tub.

The boys use the neighbor’s hose for clothing and their baths. Her propane tank costs $20.00 to fill every 3 months. They usually eat breakfast early and then their main meal before the boys go off to school at 12.55. On any given day her refrigerator would contain 4-5 potatoes, a tomato, 2 kilos of tortillas, maybe 1/4 kilo of meat, milk, and two oranges. Occasionally, Bill Plum, a San Diego Shriner, will bring her a package of chicken. She does not like to eat in the evenings; her stomach. This is definitely a problem. She has told us several times about her eating habits, and no soda, coffee, tea, etc...I don’t go into this with her at this time. Her twisted polio ravaged body and two Caesareans in three years have taken their toll. Her reward has been great, two beautiful, well-mannered boys!

20

Our Lifelong Love Affair Marge’s lunch was a huge hit with all. Egg salad and tuna salad sandwiches, potato chips, and stuffed green olives. And, Coca Cola. The egg and tuna salads were a first for all three. Manuel ate like there was no tomorrow. Javi smiled and ate in silence.

Maria savored every bite of food. The few leftovers will be gone tomorrow. After our lunch Marge gave Maria her Easter treats; a real Easter basket, her first, with chocolates, marshmallow peeps, and a stuffed Easter bunny. A beautifully braided loaf of bread and a ten-pound cooked ham completed her gifts. Most of the attention was centered on the candy. I gave orders to all three, “you may look but no eating until Sunday. “Agreeing, Maria repeated my instructions. They did plenty of looking to be sure. The last “treat” went to Manuel; two cans of vegetables, corn, and green beans. His mother told us that he does not like vegetables. What a sour face he made. We all laughed. How healthy the kids look! Yet, their diet is so limited. Carbos.

On the trip down that day, we wondered if the boys had re­ ceived their First Holy Communion. To our surprise, Maria mentioned that Manuel will receive his in May. Full of excitement we promised to come to the event. Then Maria asked if we would be Manuel’s godparents. I said, yes, of course. It will be an honor.

Maria said it would be their honor. So, we argued about who will be honored the most. How quickly and strongly we have bonded with these wonderful people! I suspect another party will be in the plans. Once again Maria said that our visits were more important to her than anything we might bring. Our friends in Mariano share this feeling also. Friendships mean more to these people than the “treats” we gather for them.

Maria shared with us another part of her amazing life. She had lived in Mexicali, a large city some 100 miles east of San Diego, for some years. Why she left we do not know. She traveled west on a bus with the boys, with no money or prospects. While on the trip 21

DAVID ROWNTREE she was befriended by a lady also going to Tijuana. After hearing Maria’s story, she gave her money to buy food and promised to help them.

This is the friend who arranged for the family to stay in the little room at #35. Poor Maria, her friend of six years just recently moved far to the south to Chiapas. Her only close friend in Tijuana.

Lest I forget, Maria, with the help of Manuel, wrote a beautifully worded thankyou note to our lady friend; the one who donated these soon to arrive beds. I translated it and will send it to her.

After several hours of chatting, we needed a break. Marge and I and the boys walked to a nearby market. Many of these neighborhood stores sell just about everything. Many also serve as post offices. For a fee, they will receive your mail. When letters arrive a list of names is posted. We sought other goodies; ice cream. A rare treat. You have seen in our supermarkets the length of the ice cream display. In Tijuana, ice cream occupies a tiny frozen food box. The boys made their choice; we made ours, Marge picked a dixie cup for Maria, and off we went to the little house. It was getting late. The beds would soon arrive. No sooner had the ice cream disappeared than we heard the big truck pull up. The two men were in and out of the room with the frames and box springs and mattresses. In nothing flat, bunk beds and a twin bed appeared. It was like the Night Before Christmas except the kids watched as Santa’s helpers did their work. The boys and Maria stared in disbelief. The beds were overwhelming. Before they could pounce on the beds, I said, “wait, please wait.” I ran out to the car and brought in the mattress covers Marge had bought the past week. Wrapped in plastic, Manuel thought they were pillows. They have no pillows. I have seen pillows in Mexico but never mattress covers! We all helped with the covers and sheets and then the boys swung into the bunks. Up and down in and out. Maria looked at hers with uncertainty; Marge remarked that 22

Our Lifelong Love Affair perhaps it was too high for her. I asked Maria. Her answer was to hop up on her bed.

Today was also picture day. Old beds, new beds, outside the house, inside the room. Maria on the old beds, Maria on the new beds. Most of all, Maria. We have finally captured the beautiful Umbrella Lady on film!

April 8.

Was an exciting day for us; Marge received a call from the Vincent dePaul organization. Maria’s first appoint­ment is scheduled for 25 April. We can hardly wait to bring her the news! I think we will be going down to see her on 15 April. During our last few visits, she has not mentioned the appointment, possibly thinking it will not be happening. I have found that many of our Mexican friends do not eagerly anticipate coming events. Could it be that because they have so little they dare not hope for a better life?

The” bad day” pictures turned out very well. Soon our friends will be able to see for themselves the object of all our writings. The pictures of her house will emphasize very clearly her plight. Her son’s energy is barely contained in the photos.

Our dear friend Christina visited us this weekend; 12/13 April.

She is so much fun to have as a guest! She has returned to night school again; Studying English. Three nights each week she goes to the university from her workplace. Arriving back at Mariano at 8:30 is a tough day. She is determined to learn English. She is doing very well. A great grandmother at that! Married at 15, Christina has done a wonderful job raising three girls and a boy. They are well educated and their children are going to college. One is nearly a doctor; Another will receive her masters in biology and chemistry this summer. These are the people who will change the face of Mexico. The only preaching I have done these past eight years has 23

DAVID ROWNTREE been; Stay in school, and learn English. The more school you have the more money you earn. Christine’s family does not need the sermon. Sadly, many others do.

I asked Christina if she would entertain Maria some Sunday in May. She readily agreed. Maria’s world is so confined, this will be a huge treat for her, and the two of us also. Christina is a wonderful hostess and she will love Maria as we do.

More on Tuesday.

Tuesday Our first stop on the way to bring Maria her good news was to visit her nearby church. It is a very high building and serves as a landmark for our travels in the area. We hoped to find out when the First Communion was scheduled. No luck, the pastor was out until late in the afternoon. We will see him again since there are other things to talk about.

The boys were just leaving for school; scrubbed and pressed and hair slicked with one of their mother’s lotions. Have I mentioned before how impressive it is to see the school children going and coming from school? The people do wonders with their laundry: washers and dryers are still very scarce. Maria was happy to see me; immediately asked where Margarita was. “She’s coming, she’s coming right now.” Maria has formed a strong bond with Marge. She just loves to chat with her and seems never to lack for questions. Her world is opening, the mind is filing this info. This is an intelligent lady, she retains everything. I must correct a previous observation, Maria can read! Thank God! Better still, thank the wonderful nuns who taught her while she was interred for those early years of her life. No one ever came to visit her, yet she made the best of her days.

Sadly, she cannot write. As I said before, she composed a beautiful thank you note to the lady who bought the beds. How she loves 24

Our Lifelong Love Affair those beds! She told us that she washed the sheets and has covered the mattresses and box springs completely.” I will take good care of these beds, they are so wonderful. “We know, Maria, don’t worry.

Manuel’s First Communion? Delayed until next year. He did not learn his prayers, the Credo mainly. Father said, sorry. This is not uncommon among many of our friends. Karina was 15 when she received hers. Maria is upset with him; not a good position for Manuel.

Maria was delighted with the news of her first medical appointment. 25 April, her first visit to the US. “I will wash my best dress, my hair, and fix my face.” We joke with Maria about “painting “ her face. I will take more pictures that day. I said to Maria, “wait til your friends at the border see you passing by that day. They all will be saying, ‘who is that beautiful Mexican lady entering the US? ‘It looks like Maria. Yes, where is she going? ‘” We had a good laugh at that. Marge told her not to eat that morning, we will go to MacDonalds. A Big Mac, what a treat, for her. The Otay Mesa MacD is the nicest, cleanest MacD we have seen.

Some time ago I read in our paper about a new program in Tijuana, government-run, to aid the poorest of the people by allowing them to buy tortillas and milk much cheaper. Maria was very interested and will call OIF to get the details. Maria’s earnings at the border each weekend put her easily in that class. $30 does not go very far even in that country.

She thanked us again for the Easter gifts. The candy eggs were delicious and the ham lasted one whole week! I would venture that ham was more meat than she had seen at one time in her entire life.

“May I call you sometime when I get sad and very lonely?”

Of course, said Marge. But call after 6 so David will be home.

“Sometimes I dream of my American friends and the next day I feel much better.”She goes to bed at 8 and rises at 6. The boys are hungry and she fixes their breakfast. Most of nighttime tv is so violent and 25

DAVID ROWNTREE she will not allow the boys to watch. She reads aloud to them from the bible.

I told her that Christina would be happy to entertain her in Mariano Matamoros. Some Sunday in May, ok, Maria? Yes, and may I go without the boys? Our sentiments exactly. She needs a break from the kids. Sra. Emilia, her neighbor will care for the boys.

Remember your name and birthdate, amiga.

More good news that day! The INS and doctor’s letters came.

April 25

First Visit. First Impressions.

Maria’s day to cross the border had arrived. She was ready and waiting when we arrived at #35. She was wearing her favorite blue dress. All of her dresses are ankle length. She hides her legs whenever possible.

There were few cars waiting to enter at this time of day and as we approached the gate Maria saw many of her friends plying their wares to the entering cars. They called out to her and wished her well. Apparently, she had told them of her trip to the US. It was a heart­war mindsight. Several are crippled like she, and others work for a company that sells all those tourist items. As we neared the INS agent, Maria became very nervous. She was so frightened that she would be denied entrance. We were sent to secondary and then went into the office for more paperwork. Because of a minor error in one of the letters, we were threatened with a denial of the entrance.

As we pleaded with the man, Maria knew something was wrong. She became even more upset and literally shook with fear. Finally, after we were duly impressed with his authority, we were allowed to pass.

No sooner had we entered the US than the questions started.

“Where are we now? How far is it to downtown? What beautiful houses, how green everything is. How wide and smooth the roads are.” And on and until we reached St.Vincent dePaul Village. I felt 26

Our Lifelong Love Affair a pang of guilt, how I take for granted this beautiful city of San Diego. That rusty hinge on her secluded life is being oiled. What joy to see her absorbing all this new information. “There are many people downtown without homes”, she observed. She could tell by their appearance.

The waiting room was very crowded. It was going to be a long wait.

It mattered not to Maria, she was inter­ested in the people; mostly working poor; mostly Mexican. They have no medical insurance.

They must be employed somehow, to qualify at the clinic. Shortly, a lady and man came up and introduced themselves; Jean, the program director, and Felix, the orthotist. They were so nice to Maria. She was a special patient, the first from Mexico to attend their clinic.

After a two-hour wait, Maria was called to the examining room.

She entered with Marge and was joined by Felix and the orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Foster. It turned out to be a one-hour session of measuring her legs and checking her health. Before they left, Felix gave her five dollars and the two, at Marge’s suggestion, agreed to buy her new shoes.

“Now I do not have to go to the border tomorrow.” That five dollars will allow her to escape the fumes and heat for one day. Felix said the braces will take 6 weeks. She cannot escape the metal of the plastic braces. The metal is stronger and she needs two. Karina has one plastic brace and she manages it very well. Karina was also a polio victim, at age two. Then she spent 12 years on crutches.

Shriners changed all that; changed her life!

Another doctor examined Maria for general health. They took some tests and found she may have an infection. “Check with us next week and we may schedule her for another appointment”.

At last, we were free to go! We were very hungry and hurried to our favorite place to entertain our friends from the south. Seaport Village. Jolly Roger gave us a fine welcome and seated us near a window overlooking the harbor.”I have never been to such a beautiful 27

DAVID ROWNTREE restaurant. What a beautiful fireplace. I am dreaming.” No, Maria, this is real and you are here with your friends. Look, up on the mantel, a large porcelain umbrella. This is our sign of good fortune.

What would you like to eat? “Whatever you order for me.” I knew what she likes, a large hamburger with onions and a bowl of fresh fruit. After we ordered, Maria took out her 5 dollars and offered to pay for her lunch. Not a chance. We ate slowly and talked. She is an endless questioner. Her manners are quite good; another lesson from those good nuns. It is hard for us to believe that Maria never attended school. Outgoing, conversational, interesting, and eager to know everything. Marge had mentioned to the waitress that we were celebrating Maria’s birthday. It seems we are always pulling this little trick with our friends. It was last year’s birthday; that counts?

Anyway, she brought out something very deadly looking; chocolate cake, syrup, ice cream, whipped cream, and the traditional candle.

Blow out the candle, it’s good luck. What fun! We all sampled it and it was gone. When the check came Maria brought out her $5 again and asked if I had enough money. She keeps trying.

Outside the sun was slowly sinking, it was warm yet, musicians and actors were performing for the visitors. Boats were sailing in the harbor. What a beautiful sight. As we strolled the walkway, I wondered what was going through her mind. I cannot imagine and she did not comment. I assured her that we would see all of this again. We promise. On her next visit, we may have a big surprise for her. That will be another chapter.

Each time we visit Maria we like to give her little projects. Last time was the food plan for the poor and I asked her to “write” a thank you note to brother John for the chairs. She never fails. She called DIF about the food; sorry, they replied, this plan is for the poor people who live in the poorest colonies. Otay, Maria’s Colonia, is not regarded as poor. Therefore, is Maria poor? Another plan will be started soon to help people like Maria who live in the “rich colonial”.

28

Our Lifelong Love Affair True to form, she dictated and Manuel wrote a beautiful note to John. She closed the note with an apology for not being able to express herself well. What an understatement.

It was near seven when we arrived back at her little house. Her friend Josefina was waiting to visit her. The two boys were delighted to see their mother. It was like a sigh of relief that she had returned.

It was her first time away from them.

A busy week in Tijuana. A Mariano visit on the 20 to invite Cuca and Prisciliana for a weekend. Maria on the 25, and 27 we took Patricia Chavez to lunch for her birthday. We celebrated her real day in March and this was an additional gift. Alone without the kids for a few hours. She is a dear friend of several years. Her son, Luis, was a Shriners patient. By the way, we did the same deal for the cake at the seafood restaurant. What a surprise, the whole gang came out and sang for her. Patricia’s life would make for another story. Thanks to a benefactor, Patricia has a telephone. At a cost of over $300! We call her often and try to visit once each month.

Good news today, May 1. Maria has two more appointments; May 16, for more testing, and, May 29, with Felix for more measuring and fittings. May 16, is a Friday. Maybe, maybe she can......

May 16 Maria’s second visit to the US was as eventful and exciting as her first. Questions, questions, more questions. She never runs out of questions! Maria was ready and waiting for us when we arrived. She appeared quite tired and not well. “I did not sleep well last night.

My stomach pained me much.” Marge and I became more concerned than ever. The tests the doctors took last week had something to do with her stomach. The answer came later. Marge brought two small bags of candy for the boys. Javi squirreled his away somewhere, while Manuel said he was giving his to his teacher. Smart move. He 29

DAVID ROWNTREE is a good student and gets along well at school. On the other hand, Javier spends his time chatting with his friends. A smart boy is yet bored with the routine. He looks to be one of the multitudes who barely reaches the sixth grade. There is a huge division between primeria, the first six grades, and secundaria, the next three grades.

Those who reach that level often breeze through and go to college.

Anyway, the boys kissed their mother goodbye, we loaded up the car and proceeded to the border. Maria showed me a shortcut, the route the boys take her to the border. About one mile. They take turns wheeling her to the line of cars. They play off to the side while she sits between the cars. With a up­raised palm she said again how much she dislikes going there each week. I knew what the sign meant. We will have more to say about that later. As we entered the INS office we saw again the long line of people waiting to receive entry permits or applying for visas. Like before, we excused our­ selves and rolled past the line to the front. I justify this by thinking Mar it’s doctor visit is more important. We had no problem and she had her one-day entry card.

“Where are we now?” Chula Vista.”What is the name of this place?” National City. “Where does that train go?” The Trolley goes to downtown San Diego. “There are many Negroes downtown.

Why?” Many Blacks are homeless; many blacks live nearby. On and on she went. I dare not stop her for she was absorbing all of this and filing away.”It takes 30 minutes to get to town from Otay.” That was not a question, she remembered from the last trip.

The waiting room was crowded with mothers and children.

Mostly Mexican. Maria had fun talking with the ladies. More questions for them. I was off the hook on these conversa­tions.

After Maria went into the examining room, Marge and I wandered about the St.Vincent dePaul Village. Located in the heart of downtown San Diego, it consists of six large centers. Their programs encompass biblical admonition, feeding the hungry, 30

Our Lifelong Love Affair clothing the naked, sheltering the home­less, and healing the sick; with dignity. It is a very large and very busy place. Several people were in the courtyard cleaning and preparing for some event. One of the sweepers dropped her broom and came over to hug Marge. It was Jean the Medical Program Director. No primadona she. “How is Maria, did she arrive ok?”Jean and her helpers were pre­paring the area for an afternoon party for the new mothers in their program.

A recent convention of pedia­ tricians had donated baby supplies; formula, bottles, and assorted items.Fr. Joe was to talk also. The Village is just full of volunteers. All the nurses and doctors in the clinic spend many hours there, gratis. As we walked around the yard we saw a young mother with her baby. Sporting several tattoos, she was probably 18 or 19, she was eager to talk about her life. It was a long and familiar tale, runaway, drugs, living in many states, runins with the police; she was presently on probation. But, she was getting herself together here at the Village. There are, no free rides at this place. Everyone works: and pays room and board. A portion was given back when the resident left to go on their own. She had a beautiful baby, Zoe Pedal. Does that sound like Woodstock?

Soon after returning, Maria was finished with her examination.

The nurse said that Maria has some problems and that the ob-gyn would need to look at her next appointment; in June. The nurse also said to Marge that she has a large amount of used clothing that might fit Maria. Great! As I said before, Maria did not look her best this day. Her dress was not one of her better ones. After we left the clinic Maria told me why she was feeling poorly. The night before she and Javi had a feast with beans and chiles. That combination can be very upsetting. The rest of the day we scolded her, in a loving and joking manner about that meal. At her first visit, the doctor told her to cut down on tortillas and lose some weight.”You will add years to your ability to walk if you slim down.” My heart ached when he said that she might have 10 more years of walking. Maria will not be 31

DAVID ROWNTREE 30 years old until October! She was undaunted; her faith will carry her far. We marvel at what she has done these years with such a handicap. Is it really a handicap for her?

Maria was going to experience another exciting event this trip.

We were ta king her to Balboa Par k.I told her it was a surprise; she loves surprises. On the way to the park, Marge gave Maria a small purse she had purchased with a donation from our niece, Laurie. Her previous visit she had kept her things in a plastic bag.

How thrilled she was! She held that little black bag as she did with the shoes she received some time back. That little gift was in her possess­ion constantly that day and Sunday. Maria enters and leaves the car without any help; “Sola, David, sola, Magie.”It is very difficult for her but her independence demands it. Anyway, she allows us to hold the purse while she struggles in and out. Marge also gave her a small album for her growing collection of photos. Our Mexican friends love albums, the more the better In most cases, it is the only link to their past life. Maria was to bring the album on her trip to Mariano on Sunday.

Balboa Park was bustling with activity and the day was perfect for our stroll. Maria was very excited about the many Spanish-style buildings, the greenery everywhere, the sidewalk entertainers, with the whole scene. She informed me that the style was Spanish, not Mexican. How did she know that? The Japanese carp particularly entranced her. And the ducks, and the birds, everything we take for grant­ed Maria is seeing for the first time in her life! We walk slowly so she can absorb it all. We were all hungry by this time; especially Maria, after her experience the night before. Marge found a nice little luncheon spot in one of the museums. We ate slowly to savor the moment. During these precious two visits, we have hurried nothing.

Her experience is growing as is our friendship. She reminds us often that gifts are not important to her, but our visits, our conversations, and our friendship, that is what she cherishes.

32

Our Lifelong Love Affair We walked and talked and took pictures, and then it was time to return to #35 Guillermo Prieto. Maria’s next appointment is with Felix, the orthotist. Measuring and fitting for her braces. Marge and I had talked over a plan for the next visit. “Maria, would you like to visit our home and stay for the night?” Sil ly question.” Yes, very much so! ‘’She will make plans for the boys to care for. No problem. Then we will return the next day. Maria will be another in our increasing number of friends who have come up to stay over­ night. Her first time in an American house as a guest. It will prove to be a memorable event for all of us. #35 is such a sad place. It pains me to bring her back to such surroundings. Yet, it is her home and she is with her boys. They are always first in her heart and on her lips. Her family in America is close by.

El Maestro Angel, Elizabeth Reyna, Marge and David 33

DAVID ROWNTREE

NEW FACES. NEW FRIENDS.

I

think Marge and I were as excited as Maria about our trip to Mariano Matamoros. Christina had invited us for lunch and the day had arrived. Maria’s first trip to the hot, dusty

valley that lies 15 miles southeast of Tijuana downtown. 15 years ago it was a sparsely populated agricultural area. Now, with the invasion of the Maquiladoras,100,000 or more people crowd the valley and slopes. It is here that Habitat for Humanity built over 200 houses for the working poor. 100 of those in 1990. One week in June of 1990! Jimmy Carter and his wife, yours truly, and 1500 other volunteers from around the world. Though I had begun with Habitat in 1989, it was this event that began the seeds of our friend­ ship with these wonderful people. Our lives were forever changed.

They, with real homes and concrete floors; Marge and I, with a growing friendship with many of the families. As the many little houses have grown in size and content, so also has the strength of our bond to them. Christina once asked me why did we keep coming to this dry, treeless, ugly place; my answer; was because we love you.

Sometimes I feel sad that of all the volunteers who have come to this place, Marge and I are the only ones left. The community has changed dramatically in 7 years. The houses have expanded in size and numbers. Many have added a third bedroom; some, a fourth.

These houses are only. 640 square feet in size. Very small, for many people have 4,5 children. It is a very young neighborhood. Offhand, I can recall only one person, an elderly man, who has died; and one youngster who was killed accidentally. It is a working-class group.

Many working two jobs to keep their families together and kids in school. There is no welfare or unemployment in Mexico. The schools charge each family an admission fee each year, and the students all wear uniforms, and buy their own books, supplies, etc..$150-$200 34

Our Lifelong Love Affair is not rare. That is one month’s earnings for many. They manage somehow. Several are going to college. Isn’t that wonderful? Most were born in cardboard shacks with dirt floors. Outside toilets, no running water ·or electricity. Now they are studying accounting, computers, science, medicine, and English. Those parents who have children in college are literally bursting with pride. This sense of purpose and drive is inspiring; one of the reasons we travel down to Mariano.

Paved roads are rare in this area. In the winter the rains change everything to mud. In the summer dust and holes. Sunday we saw two children with shovels filling in the potholes on one of the streets. Motor ists often give them a tip for doing what the city would never do. Everyone works at something.

Christina and Cuca were waiting for us. You remember Cuca; she and Prisciliana came up a few weeks ago. She is a very funny lady.

When she speaks slowly her English is good. However, she seldom speaks slowly and then her Spanish takes over. I keep telling her to speak slowly so I can understand. Anyway, she and Christina greeted Maria as if she were the last star of the silent screen; a queen indeed.

No sooner had we sat down and began a cocktail, [Maria drank water] than the family began to come over. Christina’s daughter lives close by. The grandchildren Montserrat, Danny, Christopher, Berenice, and Mario, her son-in-law.Bere’s boyfriend, Christina’s brother, and wife, and on and on. Maria was overwhelmed by the crowd. I had prepared my introduction of Maria to them in Spanish but there was no time and they all greeted her and talked with her and were so friendly toward her. I was so touched. She was a part of the family immediately. Once the conversations began, Maria was caught up in all the talking. Maria was enjoying herself to the fullest! After a while, they all left for Mario’s house to celebrate Danny’s fourth birthday. Then we five got down to serious business; mole. This is a wonderful dish that Cuca is an expert at preparing.

35

DAVID ROWNTREE Pork, tomatoes, rice, chiles, cumin, and a chocolate base. Marge and I were in culinary shock. The ladies said it was either Mole or chiles Relleno. Both are our favorites. We both had two servings. A bottle of Trader Joe’s white wine was added to the banquet. After such a great meal one does not need a dessert. Christina served a fruit gelatin cup. I had an extra tortilla. Mario invited us for birthday cake at his house but we did not have enough time. After our meal, Maria brought out her new album and showed the ladies her photos. In addition to those we brought, she had several others of the boys and herself. Maria keeps telling me that she is not photogenic. It is hard for her to smile. Marge helps by tickling her. We looked forward to this day with great anticipation. We were not disappointed in the least. I can think of several other friends who would gladly invite Maria to their homes. We will save this for another time.

Soon it was time to leave Mariano. Cuca asked for a ride back to SD. She spends four days each week there working for a family with four children. I have told her in the past to cook mole for any of her families.”You will always have a job once they taste your mole.” They have and she will.

The boys were very happy to see their mother. I could see that they were not so nervous this time. Maria had to show Cuca her parakeets. She has three. They are good company for her while the boys are away at school. The doors of their cages are always open.

She has good fun with them and their constant chattering. Maria also has a cat; named Cat. That cat keeps the place clear of rodents, and this really amazes me, the cat does not bother the birds! Maria told me of the time when a large cat came into her room with the birds in mind. Her cat attacked the other and drove him out of the room. What a family! During one of our earlier visits, Maria told us that she had sold some items we had brought to her. On Sundays, her neighborhood is very busy with people selling all kinds of goods in front of their houses. She seemed excited about the idea of selling 36

Our Lifelong Love Affair clothes right in front of her house. I will start bringing her the donations of clothing we receive. If she earns a few pesos each week, it will cut down on her time at the border. She told us that she pays one neighbor $5 each month for her electricity and Sra. Emilia, $4 per month for her non-drinking water. The boys hook up a hose in the rear for this water.

Before we said our goodbyes, I gave Maria a few tasks to do before our next visit. “Please find out how much the truck will cost to cart away the rubbish around your place.” The youth group from our church is coming down in July. “Also, please write a thank you note to Sebrina Laurie for the little purse. Lastly, please check with the government land office, “Inmobiliaria”, about the cost of the land where your room is located.” She found out that the land is not owned by her neighbor’s landlord.” Until May 29, take care of yourself and stay away from the beans and chiles.

“When we reached Cuca’s San Diego house she insisted that we meet her family. A very nice couple with four children. Cuca is very happy with this family. “My kids,” she says, and they are teaching her English. Still, most of her sentences are mixed in both languages. Before I close, a funny story. Cuca called the other day all excited. I was not home so she tried to tell Marge something. Marge understood the word “enfermo”, meaning sick. That was all. When I arrived I called her right away. She asked if we had been sick this week after the lunch at Christina’s. No, we were not sick. She was quite ill with that 24-hour bug.” It was not the mole, Cuca, I think you ate something after you got back to SD. “ “Maybe,” she said. She was quite concerned about us.

Monday This will be a very exciting week so I want to begin getting my thoughts together. Maria is returning to SD for another 37

DAVID ROWNTREE appointment. This time with Felix, the orthotist. It is after this meeting that we have invited her back to our house. She will be very happy also. I will be sure to tell the boys that their mother will be returning the next day. This will be a new event in their life. Mother has never been away from them overnight. It will be good for the family. We hope to bring her to meet our Pastor at San Rafael. It is he who called Fr. Joe and requested their help with the braces. When all is completed, I’m sure Fr. Lloyd and Fr. Joe will be receiving thank you notes from Maria. Marge found a pretty dress for Maria. We hope it will be her size. If so, she can wear it for Thursday night’s dinner. The dress is an early birthday gift from Meg and Laurie. Our lady friends always like to dress for dinner when they come here. Marge also made her famous Libertarian orange cake for our guests. Tomorrow she will be contacting the clinic and Bi-National for the necessary letters for her entrance into the US. Always this red tape for each medical appointment!

Marge and David with Lola Roma, Habitat House 38

Our Lifelong Love Affair

BIRDS. BIRDS. MOCKING BIRDS.

30 May

F

elix called yesterday morning; could he change Maria’s appointment type? He has had a very busy week. I told him that we were bringing her up to stay the night. He

said Friday a.m. would be good. We all are racing against the clock; Maria’s braces are almost completely useless.

Maria was waiting when we arrived. Dressed in one of her pretty blue dresses, her favorite color, she looked different somehow. She had lost weight. Dr. Foster told her to lose weight and she was. We brought more clothes for her to sell out in front of her house. Last week she sold enough to buy a gallon of milk and other food. $3 for a pair of boots and $2 for a pair of lady’s shoes. Every little bit helps her stay away from the border. Sunday she earned $15 at the border.

She was very happy. “Boys, do not worry about your mother, she will return tomorrow. Get to school on time and be good.”

Due to the changed appointment, we drove directly to our house. She commented often on how beautiful and green everything was.” Is that an airport over there? Is it for small planes?” Yes, Montgomery Field. How did she know it was only for light aviation? “This is a very long trip. How far do you live from downtown? ‘’20 miles. It is a great distance for one who never travels more than 1 mile. The closer we came to Rancho Bernardo the more she was taken back by all the greenery and homes and stores. As we entered our garage she said that this was a perfect size for a house. Less than 400 sq. ft. was just right for Maria’s needs. Our house was a palace she said. She missed not a detail; woodwork, fireplace, ceramic tile, ceilings, everything! This is 39

DAVID ROWNTREE your room, Maria. Meg slept here before. Then Karina, Elva, Cuca, Christina, and on and on. Our quiet, little hotel. Quiet. Right!

“Tomorrow I will wash and do my hair. Ok?”! do not know how but she did. Would you like to hear Mexican music? “No, I want to chat with you. “Would you like to watch Mexican tv. “No, I want only to talk with you and Magie.” I did persuade her to call Cuca at her SD workplace. She just loves Cuca as we do also. They enjoy telling each other about their lives and adventures. Cuca was surprised and they had a nice talk. It was a beautiful night so we ate out on the patio. Hamburgers and green salad. Maria had never eaten Romaine or green leaf lettuce. Marge’s homemade salad dressing was a big favorite for her. Maria was in another world.

The green grass, the rabbits eating the green grass, the doves, and her favorite, the crickets. “Lentamente, amiga, lentamente.”

Eat slowly, and enjoy everything. Before we realized it was 9 pm, Maria was very tired. Her day begins at 6 am and ends at 8. No desert, she was full and tired. Sleep well Maria, we love you.

She was up at 7, rattling around in the bathroom. Actually, she was very quiet. When she came out her hair was damp yet clean.

She was worried the night before about her hair being dirty. She smelled the ends and was satisfied that it was clean.” Magie, your soap is beautiful and it smells so nice.” How did you sleep, amiga?

That opened the door to quite a tale. “I slept well until the birds started to sing and scream. The mocking birds, the doves, the crows, they all were very noisy.” They awoke Marge also. There are no wild birds in her area. I felt sorry for her; she needed the rest. That’s ok, she can rest this weekend. Our good friends, Jane and Jim came over to meet Maria and have brunch. Despite the language barrier, they had lots of fun with her. She is a very sociable lady. One whom you like immediately upon meeting. Maria had admired our collection of ceramics; gifts from our #1 son-in-law.

One large pot, in particular, she seemed very interested in.

40

Our Lifelong Love Affair “When I was a little girl a very strange thing happened in my village. While digging and planting in the fields, two men found a clay pot full of gold coins from the past century. Villagers thought the Indians had hidden the gold there. The two men have overcome with happiness. One took the pot to his house with the understanding that they would divide it the next day. The next day, the man his family, and the donkeys were gone. Never were they seen again. This is the destiny of some people.” Before we left to see Felix, Jim, along with Maria, gave her $20. Later she told me of the gift.” Oh, I am so happy! I will not have to go to the border tomorrow and Sunday. It is so hot there and the fumes.”Jim and Jane are good people and have helped our friends many times. So it goes with many of our American friends.” David. Are you and Magie rich?” Not with money my friend.

Felix’s office is near Sharp Hospital. His company makes artificial limbs and braces. He has been doing this for over 20 years. A very skillful and detailed work. Some years ago, having seen many people on the streets without different limbs, he decided to make prostheses for the less fortunate.

He actually approached people and asked if they wanted a free leg. You can imagine the response he received. At the present time, he has a roomful of new and used parts. It resembles a mannequin factory. Maria’s braces will be re­constructed with used braces. Americans are very wasteful he said. If new, hers would cost $1,200, he said. He gives his labor and all parts free.

He is still looking for her orthopedic shoes; they will be very expensive. He and Dr. Foster will purchase them. They will be ready on 18 June. It will be a very exciting day for Maria. We plan to bring her over early, have a leisurely brunch, and then go to Vincent dePaul.

Our ride back to Tijuana was quiet. Maria was busy thinking about the last two days’ events. Besides, she told me that she did 41

DAVID ROWNTREE want to talk while I was driving; it would make me nervous. We were well-armed with Marge’s cake. She brought some before to keep the boys happy. Now, we returned with more for them. They are feeling better about their mother’s trips. We had a big laugh when we entered her room. The boys had not arrived from school but her birds were waiting. The two small ones were walking around the outside of their cage. They were very quiet. Jose Luis, the large parakeet, turned his back to Maria and refused to acknowledge her return. She called to him but he ignored her.

She was too tired to persist. They would come around tomorrow.

The land office is checking on her land and she will call them back this week. Manuel will go over to their church and ask if any of the priests speak English. We have much to talk about. I will struggle with my Spanish if they do not.

“Take care, Maria. We love you and will see you soon. If you have any problems or feel lonely, call us.”

Father Bruno. June 12.

On our way to visit Maria, we stopped at the church that serves as our landmark in the area. It is a very tall church with several smaller buildings surrounding it. The last time the priests were not in. This time we were in luck. The receptionist returned with an elderly, smiley man. Perhaps in his 70’s.

Father Bruno, founder, and pastor of San Ignacio de Loyola.

We are all familiar with Ignatius.” I am not a Jesuit,” he told us.

When he came to this heavily traveled corner 30 years ago, there was nothing here but empty fields. “The first several nights I slept under the stars. Later, I put up a tent for shelter and ate many meals with families in the neighborhood. Now, we have several buildings besides the church. Soon we will have a larger office for my helpers and me.” Indeed, the office he now has is about 42

Our Lifelong Love Affair 6x6feet. His English is impeccable. I had prepared my talk in the event no one spoke English. I feel so lacking when meeting one who is bilingual. It is a wonderful skill, to have the 2 languages.

Anyway, Fr. Bruno finished his tale by telling us that he travels often in the US for a Catholic organization soliciting funds for the poor. One would never sleep during his sermons what with his robust voice.

Then we told him of our background in Mexico. The Habitat story. Everyone knows of the famous Jimmy Carter project our help with Shriners’ Hospital. I could tell he was wait­ing for the main point. Why did we come to see him? I told him about the foundation and its donation each year. Marge asked if he would be willing to accept this year’s donation. He was funny. He held out both hands and said, “when receiving a gift use two hands.” We choose his church because Maria lives close by. I explained how the donation is divided and delivered. No problem. In October, Father. At this point, he called in his assistant, Fr. Jesse. He speaks no English. A young, friendly man, we hit it off immediately. Fr. Bruno ex­plained our purpose there. Fr. Jesse talked about a small mission he is starting some miles from the church. I told him that once the gift is received, it belongs to their church, no strings attached. “By the way, could you use some helpers in July?” Our youth group from San Rafael is coming down for one day.”We will find work for them.”

I talked briefly about our youth group some pages back. My first trip south in 1989, was with this group. Marie, the leader, and Fr. Dan G.. What a great experience for all of us! Most of all, for me. I have not looked back since. 20-30 teenagers, and several adults, we worked in Tecolote, digging foundations, pouring concrete, and laying blocks. I was in my element. The kids worked like slaves. An elementary school was in progress. The people cannot wait for the state to build.

43

DAVID ROWNTREE They all helped, parents, students, neighbors, and teachers. At one point during the day, a very large pile of gravel had to be moved. Shovels would take hours. One mother went across the street and literally dragged out a heavy equipment operator. “This is my day off, “he yelled.”Move that pile of gravel and then go back to your rest.”He did. After a long day, we went to a hosteltype building in the city of La Mesa, Tijuana. A hugh 2 story house, 3 full showers, dormitory, all the comforts of home. It was a memorable night. Everyone showered and we went out looking for a restaurant. We found a good roasted chicken place with all the various Mexican foods.

Later we walked the main boulevard observing the Saturday night activity. Everyone is out shopping, eating, singing, and driving like the Indy 500.0h, those drivers! Back at the hostel, Marie and Fr. Dan broke out their guitars, and soon everyone was caught up in the happy atmosphere. The next morning we ate a light breakfast and went to a nearby church for Mass. I could hardly wait to return for another work project. When Habitat began its housebuilding, I was all set. Our youth have returned several times and have always impressed me with their desire to help the poor in whatever way they can. When we returned to RB, one sees things in a different light. Running water, inside facilities electricity, heat, and on and on. Especially, the Greenery!

Maria continually reminds me how green San Diego is. Nothing in Tijuana is green. Not even the lettuce!

June 12. Continued.

“What a miracle! “What do you mean, Maria? “You and Magie came to visit me.” The boys were at school and so her afternoons drag on slowly. We brought lots of things for her to sell, and also, gifts from her rapidly growing list of friends. Our neighbor, Jane, 44

Our Lifelong Love Affair sent her $25. She had heard us talking the night we ate out on the patio. The Spanish voice told her that we were entertaining someone from Mexico. Marge told her about Maria and she gave this gift. Maria was so pleased. “I will not go to the border this weekend. I am so embarrassed to beg for money.” I told her that sometimes it is good to go there if only to see your friends. She needs social contact.” Yes, with the ladies I enjoy visiting. The men, many of them are ‘groceros’ [crude]. Besides, I am lazy’.

“Yes, if being confined to a wheelchair most of your life and raising two fine boys, is lazy, Maria is truly lazy! She opened the gift from Meg and Laurie. $15. This gift had strings attached; buy a pretty blue dress. Her size is difficult for Marge to find.”I will buy a dress for my next appointment.” Well, you do not have to hurry, my friend. Our #1 son-in-law, DAK, sent her a pretty blue, covered ceramic bowl and a blue cup. The rest of the cups and bowls were for her to sell. “How much should I sell them for?”

May be $3 each for the cups. A real bargain. “Are they new?” Yes, they are new. The concept of new has a curious effect on Maria.

I do not believe she covets new things. Perhaps, new strengthens her ego and builds her confidence. This poor, semi-literate girl is not so bad after all. “Look, I have new beds. Laurie gave me a new purse. Vincent de Paul is giving me new braces. My many brothers and sisters have forgotten me. Yet, these strangers love me and help my sons. “ Is this what she is thinking? I do not understand.

She cannot ask too high a price for her wares.” These are poor people. They earn little In the factories. I only need enough to buy milk and food for my boys.” Maria wanted to make lunch for us today. We will wait until the cooler weather. She talked again about our house and how beautiful it is. How rich we are.

It is pointless arguing with her on that subject.” My friend lived there. She said everyone is rich. I was so worried I would scratch 45

DAVID ROWNTREE your tile floor.” Do not worry, there are no scratches. Maria asked if I had much work now. What brought that subject up? I said I did. “Good, I have been paying that you would have much work.”

No wonder.

Maria often tells Marge that she is a good administrator.

Prisciliana tells her that she is a romantic, with her candles, ribbons, and flowers. Meg calls her mother, Martha Stewart. I wonder why. A romantic administrator. Is there such a title? I tell her that she and Maria should co-author a bilingual book on how to budget household expenses. No word yet on her inquiry about her lot. Next month they said. A Habitat-size house would be perfect for the three of them. 640 sq. ft. Marge will talk to Aloma about blueprints from the Carter Project. She has a tough task ahead; finding an Angel for Maria.

Our visit was concluding. We had given Maria an extra 15 minutes. “I am so happy you came to see me. I will write the note (sobrina) and have it on Wednesday.” Maria had lost more weight.

Her diet was working. “But, I have been sick. My stomach.” I pray we will find out about that at her next appointment. She proudly showed off her new per m­anent. All those curls!” I spent $4 of the money Jaime [our friend] gave me. I am saving the rest. “ Maria, you do not have to tell me how you spend your money”. Look at the mattresses. I have covered them while I wash the covers. I will keep them clean. Oh, I just love my new beds! “There is that “ new “ business again. Perhaps she does not feel worthy of new things. She will have to get used to new things in her life. Her American family and friends will see to that. Be ready at 11:30, then we will go to lunch. [IHOP] She has never eaten pancakes.

I tried to explain but could not. Pan is the bread and everything else seems to be pan dulce, sweet bread. We hugged her and told her we loved her and, as we were leaving she said, “I will stand in the doorway and wave to you. “ 46

Our Lifelong Love Affair

THE RED DRESS

M

aria was waiting when we arrived for her June 18, appointment. Standing outside her little room.she was wearing a pretty red dress. We had not seen

her in red before. Blue is her favorite and she always had worn that color. Her face was made up nicely, her hair a mass of curls from her recent perm. She had lost more weight, per Dr. Foster’s orders, and was definitely emerging from her lifelong prison of embarrassment and shame. When we compli­mented her on her looks her hand went up to shield a moment of shyness. With the gift of $15, from Meg and Laurie, Maria had bought the dress at a swap meet.” It is my first new dress. I could not find a blue one. Do you like this color?” It was perfect. There was that ‘’new “ business again. 30 years old and just now wearing a new dress. I felt sad thinking about her past life. All that was changing now thanks to her many new friends. Marge had brought a large bag of salad greens, apricots, cabbage, and her special salad dressing. Maria loved that dressing when she visited our home. She also brought a candy bar for the boys to share. After your baths, their mother said.

I brought several sacks of clothing for her business out front.” I sold 5 ceramic cups last week, for $2 each. Also, some clothes.” Our sonin-law will be pleased to know that his work is spreading around Mexico. He does wonderful artwork also. There are many homes in the Tijuana area that have items from his kiln.” Boys, take your baths and get to school on time. And, behave! “ Dona Emilia will watch and make sure they get off on time. The trip to the border is quick. Many of Maria’s friends saw her once again.” Good luck Maria, have a safe trip. “She knows them all. It seems the treatment we receive from the INS is different each time we go to secondary.

They seem to enjoy changing their rules and procedures each trip.

47

DAVID ROWNTREE What was ok last time is not this time. Maria is allowed entry but it seems begrudging. Marge wonders if they do not want Mexicans to enter the US for help. Regardless, she is coming here for aid and will continue to until she no longer requires medical attention. She is being cared for through the kindness of many who give to the Village.

“I know that man, he has helped me often at the border. “She was referring to a Mexican attempting to get his papers in order. I talked with him later outside. I thanked him for all of his kindness.

Five minutes later and we arrived at IHOP. New and serving very good food, it was perfect for our lunch. I had told Maria not to eat breakfast.” Are you hungry?” A little bit she replied. Since she was to have two appointments, the salad would be best for her.

We all ordered chicken fajita salads. While waiting for the food we engaged in her favorite pastime; chatting. When Marge had talked with Felix earlier this week about the braces she again thanked him for the $5 he gave Maria at her first appointment.” Marge, that was not $5 I gave Maria, rather $100. Dr. Foster gave me the money for her with the instructions that the gift came from “above.” I told Maria not to tell anyone of the gift.” She did not. I asked her how large was the bill she received from Felix.

“It was ten dollars. I did not know what Felix gave me. I had never seen this money. When I arrived home that day I showed Dona Emilia and asked her what it was. She replied that it was a very large sum of money, almost 800 pesos. I was shocked. Please Emilia, keep it safe for me. The next day I replaced the $4 I took from the $20 Jaime gave me and gave it to Emilia. I now have $120 toward my lot. I want to help also.” This land will probably cost thousands of dollars, yet, she maintains such optimism. She is certain it will happen. As we ate the excellent salads, we continued our conversation. We told her that we met Fr. Bruno at her church.

She likes him and said that he had baptized both boys. Fr. Bruno 48

Our Lifelong Love Affair will be an important friend to us all. “When are you and Magie coming to my house for dinner? The next time I will be better prepared.” I told her that the Fall will be more comfortable weatherwise. “ I will make chile relleno and the angelfish. Also, I will buy the wine.” Look, my friend, we will make out a menu and decide who brings what. I will bring the wine and bread. Magie will bring the salad and dressing. Ok?” “What is that word menu?” Oh, God, what a sheltered life! Yet she is very aware of raising the boys and surviving these past 30 years. She ate all her salad and refused any dessert. It was time to go. We were to meet Diana at the Village. I told Maria and she was excited to meet the lady who gave her” new “ beds.

Diana was waiting for us at Vincent dePaul when we arrived.

She and Maria hit it off well, despite the language barrier. Maria’s personality often overcomes her lack of English. We went into the courtyard to chat while Marge signed Maria in at the desk.

Unfortunately, Felix could not finish the braces for today and was not there. The important appointment with the ob-gyn still stood.

At 4 pm, or thereabouts. the doctor breezed in. A tall, beautiful, black lady, with an accent that you would die for. Carolle JeanMurat, originally from Haiti, now working in SD, is virtually a prisoner of St.Vincent dePaul Village! Her manner

is as perfect

as her Spanish. She was what the Village had been dreaming for.

And, she is famous and an author! Maria was delighted with” la Doctora. “The amination was concluded in short order. Thank God. Marge received the information about Maria. It was nothing serious. “Keep a record and I want to see you again in 3 months.”

Maria has another appointment for June 26. This time with Felix and Dr. Foster.

It was getting late as we headed back to Otay. The boys would be home soon. [5:30] Maria has decided not to chat while I am 49

DAVID ROWNTREE driving. The traffic is heavy and we both get nervous. While trying to understand her, most of my brain cells are busy. As we neared the border I asked Marge if we should stop at MacDonald’s for an ice cream sundae. “Sure,” I asked Maria if she would like ice cream.

She hesitated but I already knew her answer. A chocolate sundae with nuts on top. Was this her first? I’ve lost track of these events.

It was soon gone and we were off to her Otay. Our’s is Otay Mesa; her’s is Mesa Otay.” My diet is gone today. Please do not tell Dr. Foster “Not a chance, my friend. The boys were waiting for their mother. They were full of it and very silly. Marge said it must be the chocolate candy. The birds all greeted her with friendly screen has. At this time I gave her a bag of tostadas, large, thin, tortillalike chips.

They were called “Pericos”, parakeets. Just like her three. The boys attacked them like crazy. Jose Luis, the parakeet, ate some.

The other two did not. Maria had a bit. The diet was a shambles.

The boys were firing words at me nonstop.” What is this in English?

What is that word in English?” I will bring you more words in English next week. Ok? “Yes.” We will see you Thursday at noon.

We love you, Maria.

IHOP June 26.

Felix’s office called at the last moment; he went homesick and cannot meet with Maria today. After all the trouble Marge went to getting the INS letter, suggested that we bring Maria over anyway. I asked her if she would like to come over for a few hours.

Of course, she would! The boys were playing soccer in front and readily helped me unload the car. Marge had brought another supply of salad greens, bananas, and cherries. I brought several bags of clothing for her to sell. “Sunday I sold the large ceramic vase for $7, and other things. I now have $145 for my lot. I made 50

Our Lifelong Love Affair $15 last week. No linea for me. Before I did not understand how to price things and bargain with the people. Now I am learning how to sell. When I go to the border that money will be for my lot. At my house, that money will be for food. I must forget my embar assessment at the border because I want to buy my lot. Downtown Tijuana was not good for me. The tourists were busy buying things. I did not receive much money. Otay linea is better.”

Maria was wearing another pretty red dress. “This dress is used I bought it four years ago.” It looked new. She takes very good care of her things. She always bathes and does her hair in the am, so as to look her best for selling things, going to the clinic, or to the border. The boys always look scrubbed and dressed in clean clothes. “Manuel’s “T” shirt is two years old. “It looked new also.

Since Christmas, the boys have grown taller and their weight is perfect in my eyes. Maria’s diet is also effective. Dr. Foster will be very pleased with her.

Once again at the border, her friends greeted her with smiles and good wishes. Our experience at secondary was almost pleasant.

The first time! The agent actually asked about our experience with Maria at Vincent dePaul. “Many people come down to Mexico to do good things. “We were amazed at this. He wished us all good luck when we left. Maria thanked him. She easily picked up on the friendliness in his voice. Today our appointment is at IHOP, my friend. It is a secret. Why waste a chance to bring her up.

Each time we enter and leave the car Maria goes through a strenuous lifting and balancing act. Marge or I always hold her bolsita, [little purse]. We make a big deal holding it. I say it is mine or, how much money do you have. She always has some money with her. And, usually offers to pay for something. On this trip, Maria did not want much to eat. She settled for a scoop of ice cream with strawberries. But why? “My last time here I ate 51

DAVID ROWNTREE so much salad and then the ice cream at MacDonald’s, I could not sleep that night. Manuel woke up and asked me, ‘what’s wrong mommy, did you eat too much again over there? ‘My stomach.”

I am sorry Maria, we should not have stopped at MacD. In my desire to treat her, I overdid it.

We chatted, naturally, while we had lunch. Fanny, the waitress, has become our friend. She asks the manager if she can wait at our table. She is very nice to Maria and describes the food selections for her. She even took her to the ladies’ room. The doors are very heavy and difficult for her to open. Maria always uses one of my towels to cover her legs when in public. She is so friendly and smiley that I doubt if anyone ever notices her crippled legs.

I see the broken, almost useless braces, but I never see her legs.”

This is so much work for you and Magie. Coming to my house these many times. Rancho Bernardo is so far. “We are friends Maria. do not worry about the trips.”How much will my braces cost? They will be very expensive.” Felix is doing everything for free. There is no cost. If they were to cost, it would be $1200.That really floored her. She has one $100 bill. Now she can picture 12 of those bills. Everything is at no cost; the doctors, Vincent dePaul, Felix!

She must wonder why she is receiving all of this aid. Who knows? We met by accident. A lady in a wheelchair with a styrofoam cup, two boys playing off to the side. If we can improve one’s life a small amount, that is our goal. I believe Mother Teresa advocates that philosophy. ‘’30 people live in the house next to my room. They come up from Chiapas. They are buying many clothes from me. There are many children and they need clothes. The adults pay a little rent and work in the factories.” A good deal for Maria. Marge asked Maria if she still had any salad dressing left. She had a little and was guarding it carefully. The boys are using it on 52

Our Lifelong Love Affair everything. Rice, beans, potatoes, and even the lettuce! Maria wants the recipe. It is a simple mixture and Marge will get it for her. I think sugar is a big attraction.

I asked Maria if I could cut a small piece of her wheelchair cushion.

Marge has found a man who will make a new one for her. We need a sample of the foam interior. Our neighbor in the back, Jane, said she will buy Maria a cushion. The generosity never ends.

Maria, I think you should call Inmobiliaria again about your land. These government organizations tend to forget or put­ aside such requests. “ Tomorrow, I will go to see the people.

Manuel will help me and we will take a taxi. “It is a long ride to Agua Caliente, the location of Inmo.”The taxi only costs $6 pesos each way.” A good deal for her; about $1.50.” I will use tears if necessary when I speak with the gentleman. “ That mind; she remembers from her experience with the ID card. Once we know the cost of the land, the wheels can begin turning.

Maria said she will talk to Dona Emilia about the land costs and her experiences with her house. Emilia built her house all by herself; room by room. Each room was a new project and a different style. The building inspectors over here would go crazy with the way people build in Mexico. Permits, fees, blueprints; forget it!

As the afternoon was drawing to a close we started back to #35. Maria noticed that Marge was favoring her back. It tends to “go out “ at times. Very uncomfortable for her.”Oh, I know of a medicine that will help your back, Magie. I will buy some for you.” Marge persisted and said she already had medicine.”This is a very good salve, it is made from bee venom. I will buy you some.”We both argued, no, no, we have medicine. It remains to be seen if she wi l l buy it anyway. Maria desperately wishes to 53

DAVID ROWNTREE give to us. Something, anything! “You and Magie have given me so much. I have given nothing.” Our answer is always the same, your friendship is enough.

Maria received a friendly welcome when we arrived back at her house; three parakeets, two boys, and Emilia. Cat, the cat also walked slowly into the room. I guess that was some type of welcome from him.

Call me on July 3, and we hope to have the next date with Felix. She waved and threw us kisses from her doorway as we pulled away. I’m certain her next act was to hobble over to Emilia’s side fence and give her all the details of her most recent trip to the US; her IHOP appointment.

Marge, David, Maria with Pablo his wife Alicia Yareli and daughter. Pablo helped with Maria_s braces.

54

Our Lifelong Love Affair

FIREPLACE REVISITED

T

his will be another busy week for Maria. Wednesday she has an appointment with Felix for a brace fitting, and Saturday, we are bringing the San Rafael youth

group down to visit with her. Our first stop Saturday will be at San Ignacio Loyola Church.Frs.Bruno and Jesse will put the group to work for several hours. The kids always enjoy their trips to Tijuana and eagerly do any tasks that are put to them.

During the lunchtime break, as in the past, they will seek out the neighborhood stores for special local treats. Lacking inhibitions and prejudices to any great extent, these young adults always get along very well in the Mexican atmosphere. After lunch we will walk over to Maria’s house; four blocks away. I will talk to her Wednesday to make sure she will not be embarrassed by the visit.

She is so proud and her room is a very sad place. Nevertheless, it will be good for the kids to see how she manages. I say her room is sad, because of the physical aspects.

Yet, within those walls, there is much friendliness and a strong sense of hope. Everyone is happy; three birds, one cat, two children, and most of all, Maria herself. Every time we leave #35, Marge and I wonder how she can manage. We have seen the bruises caused by her many falls. She never wavers. Now, more than ever, she is full of anticipation; she is saving for her lot, her very own piece of land. We are determined that Maria will have her lot and a real house with rooms!

I mentioned to Marie C., the youth leader, about a fundraiser for Maria M. The group has had several in the past and always does well. Marie sounds optimistic about the idea.

We plan on taking Maria back to Seaport Village after the appointment with Felix. We well remember the fireplace and 55

DAVID ROWNTREE the umbrella on the hearth. At that time we will give Maria her “mail”. Uncle John sent her $25. What a benefactor he has been!

Jane, our neighbor sent along with $10 with the new cushion.

Pat and John S., sent her $25 also. Maria’s lot fund is growing.

Pat and John met Maria a year or so ago on our way back from visiting Patricia Chavez. A fleeting hello as we passed through the border. Each remembered the other. They enjoy meeting our friends to the south and have been very generous over the years.

The car will be full again tomorrow; clothing to sell and fruits and vegetables for the family. We will have much to chat about; the land, her boys, [both passed in school], the Saturday visit, her braces. There is never a lull in the conversation.

We’ll see you at noon, Maria.

As usual, Maria was waiting when we arrived at her room.

She is always on time for her trips to the US. We had a car full of clothes and vegetables so the boys helped unload. Maria commented that she was doing well selling each weekend.

Sunday she made $10.That is enough for her water and electricity for one month.” I now have $200 toward my lot. Dona Emilia is keeping the money for me. Is that good?” Marge and I fell over ourselves congratulating her. We still do not know how much her land will cost but she is doing her share with great enthusiasm.

Marge gave her another bottle of the now-famous salad dressing.

Hide it from the boys. Emelia has tasted it and loves it also.

Maria always shares with her dear friend whatever we bring down.” Maria, you have so little yet you share with others.” She had no reply. Marge gave Maria the translated recipe for her dressing. As Manuel was bringing her chair out to the car, I was busy getting out her new cushion. When I turned to the chair it looked different; it was different! It was new or newer than her old one. A smaller model and in very good condition.Maria, what happened? “Last Sunday a Mexican­American couple met 56

Our Lifelong Love Affair me at the border and gave me the chair. They had traveled there three times before we finally met. Each visit they would ask the nuns where I was. [The nuns are the ladies who solicit funds for the poor. They always dress in white.] This chair is much stronger and better “. And the old chair, my friend? “ I gave it to Dona Emelia, her eyes are bad and she uses it inside her house “ Is there a lesson here? The poor giving to the poor? She gave the boys their instructions and we were off to the border.

On this trip, we were not so fortunate. A one-hour wait at INS. Those people are so rude and uncaring about us and any of the others going through their routine. As I have mentioned before, on each trip to INS we are met with different rules. I’m sure that is their plan. Discourage ,discourage ,discourage!

Felix was waiting, he understands. His past is slightly checkered. He found religion and turned his life around. What great work he does for the handicapped! Maria saw the shoes for the first time.” Oh, they are so beautiful, black, with a strap, and, ‘muy femenino’. “ Felix told her that Magie gave instructions that her shoes be feminine. It was a tough project for Felix, most orthopedic shoes are not very pretty. “When I receive my new braces I will be as tall as Magie.”

I do not think she will but it is a fun subject for them to discuss. Felix said that next week we all will go down to Marla’s house and he will put the braces on Maria. After that, another appointment will be needed at the clinic with Felix and the $100 man, Dr.Foster.

This appointment was a quick one and off we went to Seaport Village. The heat at Otay had changed to a cool breeze downtown.

We took Broadway and Maria got a good view of the tall buildings in beautiful San Diego. She was duly impressed. Do you see that tall hotel building? When Cuca saw it she said she would never stay there.” It is so tall and I would be frightened of earthquakes”.

57

DAVID ROWNTREE We assured her that these buildings are very safe. Jolly Roger’s fireplace and porcelain umbrella were waiting. The room was not officially open but they accommodated us very well. We chatted and dined alone. It was like we had reserved the room for a private party. Maria held the menu and pretended to read from the list of foods. This is a “menu”, una “Carta” friend, what would you like to order. “I cannot read the words, I will let you decide for me.” The chicken sandwich with tomato and avocado and a side order of fruit sounded good. Fresh fruit is such a treat for Maria. All of our friends in Tijuana love fruit. Fruits are very expensive in Mexico. Consequently, they experience only the most common fruits. Bananas, apples, oranges. Marge brought blueberries this week. The boys and their mother had no idea what they were. “Uvas?” [grapes], no; “Pasas?” [raisins] no. Try them. What a delight!

We chatted and sipped wine while waiting for our lunch. Try the wine, Maria. Just a taste.” Oh, it is very strong for - me. I will just drink my water.” We have mail for you, Maria. Open up your letters. She came close to tears when she saw that the envelopes contained money from Uncle John, Pat, and John, and Jane, our neighbor who also donated the wheelchair cushion.

“This is wonderful. I now have $260 toward my lot! I will write my friends thank you notes.” Maria understands our custom and is adopting it easily.

“Last week I met Fr. Bruno at the border. Does he have a green car, right? We talked about you and Magie and what good friends we are. He is a fine man and has been very nice to our family.”

Would you like to spend the night at our house after your next appointment?” Yes, very much so. Rancho Bernardo is so beautiful. When I get to my house I want you and Magie to visit me and spend the night. Ok?” Yes, my friend, as Marge 58

Our Lifelong Love Affair looked doubtful. Eat slowly and enjoy the lunch. We all did. One of the waiters heard Maria speaking and spoke to her. He is from Tecate, a pretty little town just east of Tijuana. They had a nice chat. Her presence is gravitating. As we were leaving the restaurant, finally, the receptionist joked with us that she was going to send in a lamp for our table.

Again it was a beautiful day so we strolled along the seawall.

Maria was impressed with the number of people in the Village.

We were also. “There are many tourists at this place, and I hear Spanish also.” Yes, tourists come from all over the world; many from Mexico also. We stopped and watched an artist balancing rocks near the beach. Quite an art. A young man was playing his violin, beautifully.

Marge chatted with him while Maria and I were entranced by the rock balancer. I asked Maria again how she felt about the youth group visiting at her house. “I will not be embarrassed.

When you and Magie first came to my room I was very ashamed.

You and Magie have helped me in that way.” I told Maria that it was very important for these young people to see her room and meet her boys. Rancho Bernardo is a world apart from #35 Guillermo Prieto. After eight years I still thank God for our blessings here.

Reluctantly our visit was drawing to a close. We may have only one or two more on this side of the border. Marge and I try to make every minute special for Maria. “Where are you now, David?” Chula Vista. “Soon we will come to your Otay, and then my Mesa Otay.” Yes, but we will see you Saturday with the youth. As usual, she waited in front of her door, waved, and threw kisses as we left. I suppose Emilia got a full account of the day in addition to another deposit. $260. Isn’t that remarkable?

Last evening, Thursday, Marge and I went over to the church and talked with Marie and her group. Eight or ten will be 59

DAVID ROWNTREE making the trip. It is very difficult for us to talk about Maria. It is a very emotional subject for us. Even after all these months and visits with her, our tears are close to the surface whenever we talk about Maria. It is good that we are getting her story on paper. Mike, now out of college, and still active in the group, is gaining along. Eight years ago he was on my first trip down.

A few speak Spanish. Great! I am hard-pressed in that area.

Maria often asks me if I understand something she is telling me. Usually, my face gives her the answer. Then she modifies her conversation accordingly. Remember, Maria has no formal education. At first, our friends would never correct my Spanish.

As we became closer, and at my urging, they will now tell me.

Sometimes it becomes a joke, with them. Then I laugh and ask how much English they know.

It should be a fun day tomorrow.

Maria with her son Manuel _ Marge with David her son-in-law.

60

Our Lifelong Love Affair

THE YOUTH MEETS THE UMBRELLA LADY

M

arie and I and ten of her group left San Rafael at 8:30, for the trip to San Ignacio Loyola church. The place was already busy when we arrived; a singing

group was practicing, another group was watching a film on some religious subject, and preparations were being made for baptism. Lots of activities. I presented myself to the receptionist and she went off to find one of the priests. Soon Fr. Jesse came out and welcomed the group. He took us over to the church and explained our work. Basically, a dusting and moping job of the area. Then another project upstairs and something outside. The way this group attacks work, it will not last very long. It was fun, with mops and brooms flying all over the place. The regular man and his young helper went ahead and looked for more tasks.

With things under control Marie and I walked over to Maria’s house. It was early yet and she was not expecting us. Nevertheless, she was not too upset with our arrival.”! am not going to the border today and will prepare for the group’s visit. My hair, my dress.” What time will be convenient for you? ‘’1:30, ok?” That is fine. Before we left, the two “Marys” talked about their boys.

Each has two. Marie showed photos of hers and Maria had hers in the room. “How young Marie is; and her boys.” Actually, Marie is four years older than Maria. The hard life in Mexico ages people quickly. We invited Manuel back to meet the group.

His first experience with American youth. Javi was off on some errand. The church was still in one piece upon our arrival. The gang was out in front talking with some Mexican boys. They’re the same age. This makes the whole trip worthwhile. Each 61

DAVID ROWNTREE group quizzed the other on the language. Kate had a headset on listening to music. It was Mexican rock and roll. One of the boys let her borrow the set. “How old are you, where do you live, how do you say this word, how do say that word?’. It was great.

Marie and I took pictures. Manuel was accepted immediately.

“Manuel, ask Shelley how old she is. “No, he is too shy yet.

The glass soda bottles appeared quickly. These are still used in Mexico. A deposit is needed unless you promise to return it.

Five sodas were bought yet only four bottles went back. Who has the empty? No response. A couple went over and paid the grocer for the bottle. One trip down several of the group paid the extra charge for a large Coca-Cola glass bottle. Truly, the deposit is almost as much as the contents. Food and chips were shared all around. “Is there a good taco stand nearby? “Yes, one of the boys took three of us down the street to a nice, restaurant; inside or outside eating. I bought our guide and Manuel and myself tacos.

They had a fountain drink; rice and milk and sugar. Not too bad.

While the bonding between the two countries was being carried out, I went off to see Fr. Bruno. He was just leaving to say Mass at another church. I asked him if he knew a builder in the area.” Yes, I have a parishioner who is an architect. In fact, his wife is here now watching a religious movie. I’ll get her.

“What luck! She came out and I struggled with the language.

She got the idea. “Wait, I will get you his phone number. “ Does he speak English? That’s ok, Maria will make the call when we need to see him. Where is his office? “Right in our home. We live close by. Good! Not long afterward Fr. Jesse came rushing by with another gentleman. They were going to the new offices’ area. I knew who he was. May we talk after your business? “Yes, of course. “ He returned shortly and we introduced ourselves.

Jorge Malacon is a builder/engineer who also works for the state land office. What a break! And, he speaks English like I speak 62

Our Lifelong Love Affair Spanish. We can communicate. I gave him a 15-minute version of Maria’s plight. After we know the cost of her lot, will get a price on a new house. Then we look for financing. “ I can help.” Those words sounded wonderful. I have his card and when we receive the blueprints we will talk.

The gang was still chatting out front. “Where can we buy churros? “ Those delicious bread like sticks, deep-fried, arid rolled in cinnamon sugar. Over at that little store. Sorry, they were told, we only sell the little pieces in plastic bags. You have to buy the others at the border. Marie, see the watermelon vendor down the street? Maybe some of the group can go down and see how much they are. “ I’ll go with Manuel,” Shelley said.

“They cost between $10 and $20 pesos. “ Less than $3. Mike and a few others decided that one water melon woul d be perfect for Maria. Leaving the cars behind and loaded with clothes for Maria, Manuel lead the way with watermelon in hand. Four blocks to #35 Prieto.

Hola, Sombrilla! here we are. She was waiting; she looked like an actress readying for her entrance. All fixed, hair, dress. We the audience, she the star. After introductions,” please, come into my house.” All except Mike, who is large, and myself, squeezed into her little room. Claire, bless her, was our translator. A blond, born in South America, she surprised Maria with her Spanish.

Don’t be shy, Maria, we are all friends. Tell us about your life. She lit up that stage for an hour. They were captivated by this poor, crippled, semi­literate lady. Outwardly, Maria can be described thus. No one in that little room saw anything but a person of great faith and love. She stood, and they sat. Neither nervous nor hesitant, she was the Story Lady. She was the teacher! I heard a few comments, “she is fantastic, unbelievable.” Most were silent, reflecting on what they had heard. They came out and we took pictures of Maria and her new friends from Rancho Ber nardo.

63

DAVID ROWNTREE She loves RB. Here are more clothes to sell. Lots of clothes.

“Would you give this to Maria?” It was a $20 bill from Claire. I cannot give her money anymore, now that we are friends. Please, Claire, you give it to her. Later, “David, look what Claire gave me.

For my lot. I now have $280. “God bless her.

Before we left Maria gave me 4 thank you notes for recent gifts. I gave the boys crayons and coloring books for passing in school. No money for them either. I suspect Claire and the youth group will be receiving notes in the near future.

“Are you in a hurry to leave?” No, not just yet. I checked with Marie. A few minutes more. Ok, my friend, we have 10 minutes more. She enjoys that game. Several hugged and kissed her before we departed. She was theirs forever. We love you, Maria.

Magie and I will be down with Felix this week. With her braces, I hope.

The only thing left to end a perfect day was,” I found the churros, five for $1; they are so good!”

Sal and Maria_s house 64

Our Lifelong Love Affair

BIRDS AND BEER

I

t was over 100 degrees when we left RB yesterday, Aug. 6. Dave and Meg were celebrating their third wedding anniver­sary today. Last weekend we went up to Orange and celebrated

with them. Good food and cocktails and great conversation. Now we were traveling south to Mesa Otay. It has been several weeks since we last saw Maria.

She had called the night before, wondering about the status of her braces. They are not ready yet.

“When are you and Magie coming to visit me? It has been a long time.” Tomorrow, Maria, we will see you late afternoon, 4:00 p.m.

She was surprised and laughed with pleasure. With several delays with the braces, we wanted to see and reassure her that no one had forgotten her. I loaded the car with more clothes to sell and Marge got out some ground beef, chiles, and a bag of fresh-picked figs.

The a.c. earned its keep on this trip south.

While waiting for a stoplight just inside Mexico, I saw a boy about 10 years old. He was selling newspapers. I asked him the cost. He answered whatever I wished to give him. I gave him $.50, about 4 pesos. He was delighted. Do you live in Mesa Otay? “No, I live in El Florido.” This is near the Carter Project, a long trip for him. “I take the jitney to La Mesa, and then a bus to Otay.” We were amazed. What a distance he goes to make a few pesos! I have men­tioned before how everyone here works, does something. Work ethic.

Marge and I joked on the trip down about what Maria would talk about first. “ It is very hot. As I entered her room, she was sitting on her bed. It was like a kiln in there. “Hola, David, I have been waiting for you. It is very hot today.” Enough said. She and the boys did not look as wilted as I. All three looked as if they had just 65

DAVID ROWNTREE stepped out of the shower. After hugs all around I suggested we sit outside near Dona Emilia’s wall. Uncle John’s chairs came out and we collapsed near a sliver of approaching shade. A late afternoon breeze was stirring. We were going to be fairly comfortable during our chatting.

No sooner had we sat than the boys came out with Tecate beer and potato chips. What a great treat. The cold beer tasted wonderful on a day such as this.” I prepared for your visit and asked a neighbor to buy the beer. “Her boys are too young yet. The boys were yearning for the chips, but their mother told them they were for us. When Marge insisted that we share, Maria relented. A simple bag of chips is a huge treat for these two. Before our bottles were half-empty, Javier was out with the rest of the six-pack. No, no, wait, we will share one bottle. It was very hot and I have a long drive back. “ Many Americans drink and drive, is that not so?” Yes, but how did she know that? Television and one very obser­vant lady.

“Take the beer to your house if you will not drink it here. “ No, I answered, keep it in the refrigerator for our next visit. My Spanish broke down at that point and Maria thought I meant, keep it for your next visit. “You and Magie are my only visitors.” It was a sad statement and I did not comment. I produced a special treat for the boys, a dinosaur egg that grows when placed in water. The boys were completely enchanted by this toy. I explained that the shell will begin to crack tomorrow and the dinosaur will begin to grow.

When it reaches full growth remove the water and it will shrink.

I expect they will ‘have great fun with this $3 gimmick. Meg told me about them so I bought them when we visited them in Orange.

“David, you and Magie arrived late today,” Marge explained that I worked most of the day. “ Yes, you must in order to buy your food.

I also must work to have food for my boys.”

As the conversation continued, Maria asked Manuel to bring out Jose Luis and his two friends. The cages came out but were 66

Our Lifelong Love Affair used only for climbing. They played and climbed all over their cages. You understand I am referring to the parakeets. I just do not understand those birds. Perhaps they do not know that they can fly. Maria says they like their house and will not leave. Cat, the cat was at the entrance to the room. Just standing staring into the empty room, as if thinking,” now I can look for mice without all those people around.”

We were enjoying our visit. It has been several weeks since our last trip. We have not forgotten you, Maria. I am sorry about the delay with your braces. Americans can be impatient and demanding.” Please do not worry about me.” Marge will call Felix until we get a definite date to bring them down to you. Felix must come also to fit and make final adjust­ments.” You and Magie worry too much about me.” One need only sees the condition of her braces to understand our concern. They are literally breaking apart at every point. We cannot fault Felix; he has been busy setting up another office in El Centro. He will not fail Maria.

Maria, would you please write, “yes I will write thank you notes again, to whom?” Claire, the girl who gave you the $20, and Marie and the rest of the youth group. “I will have them on your next visit.

David, I now have $320 for a lot. “She is amazing. That is $40 more since our last trip to her house. We congratulated her again on her great efforts. Dona Emilia came out and visited with us also. While the ladies were busy, Manuel and I measured Maria’s lot. 80 feet by 26 feet. This will determine the size of Maria’s house. Probably 20 feet wide by 40 feet in length. After that Manuel and I went over to a nearby public phone and tested out our new system to call RB. He made the call through Sprint and it worked well; no answer.

Dona Emilia was telling Marge through Maria that the brick wall was her work. She built that wall herself when she was younger.

Then whispered to me, “I am now 76 years old.” I mentioned earlier that she also built her house; the whole house, by herself! These 67

DAVID ROWNTREE ladies are such strong role models for their determination and accomplishments. The birds were busy eating reddish seeds out of an apple size fruit. I tasted them, not bad, but all those seeds.

Not worth the effort. What are they called? My friend? “Granada.

“I thought I knew but checked my dictionary; pomegranate. Marge said, no wonder Americans use them for decorations. They will be sweeter by the Christmas season.

It was late and we had to leave. Marge and Maria hugged for a long time. What did Maria say? “ I love you, Magie.” We love you very much, Maria.

Christina, Lulu and Marge 68

Our Lifelong Love Affair

FELIX

M

arge was able to get a definite date from Felix on Maria’s braces; finally! Saturday, 16 August.

We will meet him at the border and go on to her

house. For that reason, we made a quick trip down yesterday to inform her about Saturday. Brother John sent Maria $100 this week for her lot. What a great gift! He has definitely adopted her cause. We had the usual clothes, a small tv set, and Marge’s assortment of vegetables.

We arrived at #35 at 4:30. A good time of day; less southbound traffic and somewhat cooler. Maria was not ex­pecting us, yet she was pleasantly surprised. Wednesday is wash day for her and the laundry was all hanging out in the backyard. I remarked on how clean and white everything was.

She merely pointed at my white T-shirt. That old galvanized washtub and those strong weather-beaten hands do a remark­ able job. Manuel and Javi looked their usual wire brushed clean Remember, amiga, you always have the first choice of all the clothing we bring!

Manuel quickly found a good pair of sandals.These had many days of wear left. Why do we get rid of things so quickly?

“David, I read the newspaper you brought last week. I also watch the news on TV. Do not worry, I know the news. I also have news for you. I now have $350 for my lot. “Wonderful, Maria.

We have something for you, and Marge gave the envelope with John’s gift to her. “Oh, praise to God, now I have $450 toward my land! Brother Juanito has been so good to rne. “The beer came out again and Manuel ran down to the store for potato chips. Maria feels she must entertain us to some extent. That’s fine.

69

DAVID ROWNTREE “David, tell Magie that I made her salad dressing. And, it is equal to hers. Manuel loves it. He will put it on just about everything. “As we snacked on the chips, Manuel was eating the roasted peanuts I had brought. He remarked they were cooked and with salt. Javi was in the room watching the Simpsons. He loves tv, and his mother keeps tab that he does not watch any violent shows. How did you all like the illustrated bible stories?

“It is a beautiful book; the boys read it often. “May I read a story, Maria? “Yes, of course. “But, please excuse my Spanish. I read the story of Peter walking on the water and Jesus calming the seas. I enjoyed it and needed the practice.

Saturday came and went; no braces. We dropped some things off in her room. She was at the border. As we passed by I told her that we were sorry. She smiled, she is very patient. We will see you again soon

David Rowntree Bday with Meliton, Karina, Elva and Raul 70

Our Lifelong Love Affair

THE BALLOON. EL GLOBO

W

e had to make the decision. It had been 4 months to the day. Still no braces. It was obvious that Felix was not committed to finishing the job. Maria’s

situation was desperate. We feared a fall would do great harm to her. Marge started her long list of calls again. I went to Felix’s office to retrieve the unfinished braces. Marge was able to contact two orthotists; Alan Pryor and Joe Guth. We knew Alan from when Karina was in the Shriner’s program. Joe had seen her even before that. Alan was agreeable, except he was not available for two weeks.

We will meet with Joe on 3 Sept. More phone calls, more letters to Vincent dePaul, Bi-national, and INS. All these new developments necessitated a trip to Guillermo Prieto. Seven chicken breasts and six fudge brownies made up the bulk of our treats for the family. And, the balloon. A close friend is celebrating her birthday Sunday. She knows of Maria. “Please buy her a cheery balloon for me and ask her to say a prayer for me on my birthday. “It said, to a special person, on the balloon. A perfect choice, Marge. Maria is indeed a very special person. She was delighted. Another first in her life. Enjoy it now my friend.

When the boys return from school, they will claim it for their own.

Later they did.

“David, I now have $500 toward my lot.” We are yet again amazed at her ability to save in the midst of such poverty. School started last week and Maria is buying all that is required for the boys; uniforms, shoes, socks, backpacks, and on and on. As yet she had not bought their sweaters, a necessary part of the uniform. I had $25 with me, a donation from friends in RB. Maria, you need not save this for your lot. Better use it for the boys’ sweaters. She was very agreeable. I did not tell her that she must save every dollar we 71

DAVID ROWNTREE bring down to her. She still goes to the border whenever possible.

Now she braves the heat and car fumes and embarrassment for a special reason; her lot.

As usual, we sat outside her room and enjoyed the late afternoon sun. Maria likes this even though she never sits out alone. It was hard for me to explain the Felix situation. She understood me and used the same phrase several times; “he does wish to make my braces. “Dona Emilia’s sister was visiting next door so we chatted with her for a while. She is younger than Emilia, a twin. The other sister lives in Los Angeles. None ever married. Marge commented on her beautiful necklace of wooden beads. She thanked her and then raised it to reveal a large crucifix at the end; a rosary. I asked her if she was a nun. She smiled and said, “no, but I am like a nun.”

I did not get the connection.

Later I realized that an unmarried, religious lady is like a nun.

“Maria, did David and Magie forget us. “ It had only been a week.”

No, Manuel, they have been busy. “Marge and I assured her that we would never forget them. Marge asked me the word for never, Nunca. Nunca, Maria, Nunca! Then they hugged each­other. At 5 pm the boys exploded on the scene. The balloon took first attention.

Be careful of the nails in the roof! The chocolate brownies took their attention from the balloon. They came from Marie’s youth group bake sale. After the holidays, they will have a fundraiser for Maria’s family. The youth want to be a part of Maria’s life.

The boys’ backpacks were jammed with school supplies. Let me see your books, please? 4th and 5th graders, they take a variety of subjects; Spanish, History, Maths, Natural Science, among others.

Manuel had an Atlas of Mexico, telling of the climates, products, and all sorts of info. I admired it and Maria said I may have it when the school year is over.

Javi was doubled over laughing over a picture in his natural science book. He showed it to Marge and me; two frogs, one 72

Our Lifelong Love Affair on top of the other, perhaps mating. That silly kid! His mother was embarrassed. What fun! It appears they are more and more comfortable in our presence.

We will not forget you. You are family.

David, Alba and Karina 73

DAVID ROWNTREE

JOE GUTH

M

aria’s appointment day had arrived quickly. Another beastly hot and humid day. The car A.C. will earn its keep again. We loaded up with vegetables and fruits,

a bag full of brace parts, Maria’s “ feminine” shoes, and headed to #35.

“Hola, David.” Yes, my friend, it is very hot. I beat her to it this time. She was ready as usual, the boys were dressed for school and Maria was giving them orders to behave, take care of the birds, and no playing the game machines down at the store. Javi was ready for school but his class was canceled because his teacher had an operation. Substitute teachers are very hard to find. Many teachers work in the factories to supplement their income. One year Karina’s brother, Raul, has no teacher to start the school year.

The parents took up a collection among themselves and hired a teacher. Some of the schools require the parents to furnish some item for their child’s grade; a fan, toilet paper, chalk, or whatever.

Some of the smaller schools have plywood walls and dirt floors.

Water coolers; forget it!

We left as the two flew off to their school. I do not know what Javi will do for the day. He better be good. INS was a strange experience this trip. Everyone was strangely cordial to us. They laughed and joked with us, and wished us well when leaving. It was a weird happening. Marge had the answer, it was 1:30, everyone had eaten, they were all content; their bellies full, and all those carbos were bouncing around under those bulletproof vests.

Joe Guth’s office is next to Children’s Hospital. We were in that same area years ago with Karina. The medical building was being built then along with the parking structure. I well remember taking Karina up one floor on the elevator. She panicked when it began 74

Our Lifelong Love Affair to move. It was her first experience on an elevator. At that time Joe was going to do her brace after an operation. The doctors would donate their services, but the hospital would not. Those charges alone were beyond our ability to pay. As I mentioned earlier in this story, Shriners Hospital came to her rescue. The girl who walked with crutches for 12 years, now walks unaided. Consequently, she is able to work in a factory and lead a relatively normal life. Marge and I cannot praise Shriners enough for all their help.

Joe remembered us from before and we had a nice catchup conversation. He speaks no Spanish, yet his manner and personality transcend the language difference. As I spread out the brace parts like a crossword puzzle, Maria hopped up on the examining table.

Before Joe could tell her to take off the braces, one fell off onto the floor. Her poor little shoes were in pieces along with the brace.

As she struggled to remove the other brace Joe said, “we have to help this lady and get her some braces.” That was a good sign. The cost was never mentioned. To finish what was started would cost hundreds of dollars. What a Godsend you are, Joe! Then he looked at the pile of parts on the floor. “ I recognize this brace, my father made it a year ago. It is nearly finished. The other needs a lot of work. Besides, it is the same as the left brace.” Felix was making two left braces! We laughed and after I explained it to Maria, she laughed also. It was a different response; one of patient annoyance.

“We can cut this and bend that and reverse the knee joint, and fix her up. All the parts are here and the shoes look fine. Give us three weeks. By the way, where did you find this lady? Do you go down to Tijuana and just look for people to help? ‘’ It’s a long story, Joe. Many pages ago I said, “We found an angel at the border. “I suppose we found each other. Marge and I feel we got the better of the deal. ”By the way, I have a whole warehouse full of wheelchairs, crutches, braces, and more. Next week we are going to sort the stuff 75

DAVID ROWNTREE and throw out a lot. The Mexican border people give us too much trouble when we go down for clinics. If you are interested, come on down. We go down to Otay once each month to the children’s hospital. I gave up trying to bring stuff down. When the braces are finished you can bring Maria over and I’ll put them on “here.

“Maria lives 5 minutes from the hospital. We have other plans. We want Maria to come up for the final brace fitting. It will coincide with her birthday. She and Jim C. celebrate the same day. This is turning out to be a great day for all of us.

David, Marge and John Sullivan 1988 76

Our Lifelong Love Affair

SEAPORT VILLAGE

J

olly Roger at Seaport Village may have to be renamed, Maria’s Restaurant. It was her third trip there. As usual, we were alone in the main dining room. As usual, Maria

faced the fireplace and porcelain umbrella. The room has a very calming effect on us. After all the driving and in and out of the car, we welcomed the atmosphere. Maria ‘’read “the menu but made no move to order. I read off several items. She settled on the chicken sandwich and fruit. Marge and I ordered the fish sandwich.

Maria had much to talk about. This is not new. “Look at my watch. An American tourist gave it to me last week. “It was a lovely lady’s gold-colored watch. Joking with her, I rever­sed it so she would be able to tell the time easier. She definitely knows how to tell time. She is very conscious of it and looks at it quite often. Would I bet a nickel she has had other watches? “David, I now have $550 for my lot. I received $25 on both Saturday and Sunday. Monday, I did not feel well so I did not go to the border. Eight hours I spent there on Sunday. She is really focused. The clothing sales money goes toward food and other necessities. Again we praised her efforts. Do you know the temperature and humidity this past weekend? It was brutal! Long dress, towel over lier tiny legs, umbrella in one hand and styrofoam cup in the other. The endurance and determination were there all along. She only needed a reason to bring it out “Mi lote, mi lote, mi lote” Marge asked her how long the chicken breasts lasted. “7 pieced lasted 4 days. We ate some every morning. In sandwiches. It was wonderful. Manuel was beside himself. Cat had the bones. And the birds ate some also. We wasted nothing “ Since when have you ever wasted anything, my friend? The crayons? “Manuel and Javier wrapped them and sold them at school. [that was a great idea of 77

DAVID ROWNTREE hers] they sold 10 packages for $4 pesos each. [about $5.00] That will buy tortillas and milk. The boys will wrap the rest to sell.”

Their payment for this job was a bag of taffy. They did the work first. I am not about to run afoul of Maria’s handling of her boys.

Eat slowly and let us enjoy this fine food. There is no hurry.

Maria was definitely hungry. I had cautioned her not to eat much in the morning.

Maria, may we set a date for our lunch at your house? We had talked earlier about this event. Marge suggested September when the weather should get cooler. It’s September, but it’s not cool.

Anyway, Maria was delighted to make a date for us. September 25, Thursday afternoon. Without the boys? “Yes, it will be easier for me.” Besides, the boys love to monopolize the conversation.

She will be the center of attention on this day. I did not want to exclude them outright; we love those two rascals. Marge gave strict instructions; she will bring the salad and some sort of cheese bread.

Maria, only that wonderful angelfish.”And, a little rice?” Yes, that’s fine. The family eats more bread these days; tortillas taste great but fattening. The three look very healthy. Very!

We had finished our sandwiches and were still chatting. May I see the dessert menu? I ordered the deep-dish apple pie with ice cream. Please include three forks. It was just enough and very good. As we left the restaurant, Maria saw two babies nearby and patted their heads as she passed. She had seen Marge do this in the past and decided it was ok. The mothers were pleased. Is it the person or the wheelchair? She affects people with her smile and kindness. Marge and I have has seen her without the chair. The same feeling is present.

We strolled along the seawall. Another perfect day. Some­times I feel like a tourism promoter for San Diego. It is a beautiful city and seems more so when we share its beauty with our Mexican friends. As we sat on a bench absorbing the scene, Maria was joined 78

Our Lifelong Love Affair by several birds who live in the park. They keep all the crumbs well policed. Several more joined the others. Though she had nothing to feed them, they seemed content to be nearby. One pigeon came very close to her. He just stood and looked at her. “Maria, he knows you have birds. He can smell Jose Luis and the others. “Perhaps he just wanted to be near Maria.

As we were driving back to Mesa Otay, Marge remarked how the sun, now a hugh red ball in the west, was reflecting on the glass buildings and road signs. Maria picked up the statement and repeated it back to us. The body may be cripped but that mind is razor-sharp.

Guillermo Prieto was bursting with activity. On these torrid nights, everyone is outside hoping for a breeze. It will be a hot breeze if it comes.

“Till next time, Maria, we love you, and be very careful on those braces! “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.”

Marge, Maria and David 79

DAVID ROWNTREE

OLD FRIENDS

Y

esterday, September 13, after an absence of several months, Marge and I made our way south to Mariano Matamoros. Some things never change there; the heat,

the dust, the total clamor of people, cars, taxis, buses, and on and on.

In the US, Saturdays are usually non-work days. In this sprawling valley community, everything is running at a weekday pace. To further complicate matters, the city is finally extending the paved road from Bulevar. Insurgentes to Mothe Theresa’s church. After all these years, a real road that will soon be a divided highway!

We almost welcomed the dust and delays. As we approached the church our delight was cruelly ended; the paved road stopped. The last one mile to the Jimmy Carter project was the usual dust, holes, ruts, and whatever else could slow our progress. I do not think the paving will reach our friends’ communities before the winter rains. Several years ago, on a rather foolish endeavor, I drove to Mariano after a bad rain. As I approached the summit of the last hill before the community, the road ahead was a virtual sea of mud. Turn around 500 yards short or? Inertia made the decision for me. I literally slid down the hill sideways. As I made my way to Christina’s house, I thought, “next time bring your boots. “By late afternoon the warm winds had dried up that muddy hill and I was able to return to San Diego.

Maria Jesus, her daughter Claudia, and grandson, Luis Alonzo, were on their way toward the “curva” or curve as everyone calls it.

This is the large bend in the highway at Mother Theresa’s church.

This is the spot where the public buses pass. They will not venture as far as the Carter project. Only, the private taxis and jitneys.

Anyway, they greeted us with waves, smiles, and threw kisses.

What a welcome! God, we love these people! Our reception at Elva’s 80

Our Lifelong Love Affair house was similar. Malena and Raul are growing so quickly. Almost babies when we first met. Raul is so proud that he is starting fifth grade this year. He is not yes 11 years old. He is the last hope for the family. None have advanced beyond the sixth grade. Mother had little or no schooling. She fails to realize the importance. Karina, the brightest of them all, failed to finish seventh grade. Once the idea of gaining knowledge clicks in the family, it surely will be carried on to the next generation.

A certain friend has helped Elva for several years in keeping Raul in school. Though she can afford the expense of sending the last one, this aid sends the message to Elva that she had better see to it that he goes. He does and he likes school.

Just down the street, we stopped to see Prisciliana. We have talked about this fine lady before. No formal schooling abandoned by her husband, raising six kids, this is not a soap opera. This is real-life and not too uncommon on both sides of the border.

Prisciliana taught herself to read and write. Her kids all went to school and all are literate. This exemplifies my statement that the idea of education must catch on in the family. We chatted in a very quiet atmosphere. All the kids were out, working, shopping, and playing. Prisciliana’s house is a meeting place for the kids and their friends. This is a good sign. We inquire about each of her children; Pollo and his new Bride, Gladis are fine. Cesar, Laura, and baby Cesar are all good. David, we share the same birthday, recently broke his leg in two places. The cast has been removed but he still walks with a slight limp. His next and the last doctor’s visit will be in October. When he reaches his 16 birthday in November, her medical insurance will no longer cover him. We will see if he improves. If not, our friends at Shiners will gladly see him. Nancy, the #2 daughter was a patient of Shiner’s a few years back. Her foot problems were not serious and she has grown tall and straight and beautiful. Wisely she has dropped her boyfriend, Miguel. A nice 81

DAVID ROWNTREE enough young man, but extremely jealous of her each move. Nancy and her mother have been visitors to our RB hotel. She and her older sister, Irma, are great and often go out together. Irma also is in no hurry to be married or involved in a serious relationship.

This is to the regret of her friend, Alex. A very personable young man, born in Mexico, he has spent most of his life in Santa Ana, CA. Because he has relatives living across from Irma’s house, he has an excuse to visit the area often. He truly likes her, but she is firm; no serious relationship. Yet! I mentioned to him that he was thinner since we last saw him. He replied that he was wasting away for the love of Irma. Comedian! Heydi came in while we were visiting. She is the youngest at age 10. Very shy and quiet, she is growing to look more and more like Nancy. I have joked with her for years about not having a tongue. Marge hugs her until explodes she with laughter Heydi was only 3 when her father left the family.

Prisciliana took us out to the rear of the house. She has been planning a room addition for many months. Cesar, wife, and baby life there along with Pollo and Gladis. How many people are living in that little 2 bedroom house? Minie, the cat was out back, resting in the shade. Not expecting a change. Daisy, the dog, was out front with four of her nine puppies. Peche, (the name Prisciliana likes and her friends use), showed us the block, cement, and gravel; materials that will make up much of the room addition. With all those paychecks in the house, it still takes forever to do projects.

Those checks mostly amount to $40-$50 each week. We left our good friend with the understanding that when she has a vise renewed, we will have her up to our home. “Be sure to call and let us know about David.”

Our next stop was to see Christina, another long-time friend, and frequent visitor to our home. Christina, the young great-grandmother, works long hard hours and is continually upgrading her home. Our last visit she was having the living 82

Our Lifelong Love Affair room/eating area tiled. How different, it was being installed on the diagonal; just like our tile floors. “ David, I liked yours so much that I am doing mine the same. Is that ok. “This trip, the kitchen is being done. She told the maestro that I did my house that style. He doesn’t want to hard he said. It looks fine and I praised time on his work. Christina understands why we have not visited sooner and she tells our other friends not to worry, “David and Magie have been very busy. “She is losing her English again by not going to school. It is very hard for her after long hours in the factory. She often turns to Marge and speaks to her in Spanish. “Christine speak English, please! “She expects to work a few more years while fixing her house up as much as possible. Then retire and do work of some sort out of her home. Mario, her son-in-law came over shortly and renewed her friendship with him. I think I mentioned some time back that Mario’s daughter, Berenice, has just finished her master’s in chemistry and biology at the university while his son, Cesar, has but 2 years left to become a doctor. Monserrat will be finishing this year. Christopher is in high school and lastly, Danny will begin kindergarten, next fall. Another example of catching on to knowledge. Mario and his wife, Lulu are parents to Emulate. They know their hard work and sacrifices will pay off for their kids and for all of Mexico.

As we walked to Mario’s house, he told us about his new project. What a surprise, ceramic tile floors throughout! I think he and Christina feed off each other’s ambitions. Eash has added another bedroom and remodeled their kitchen. Each tiled the walls in the bedroom. Their homes are like gas stations on opposite street corners; healthy competition. Also, Mario had obtained some free wood-paneling and made a beautiful bar in the corner of their eating area. Lulu was at work and Mario was preparing to leave for work. Those two will sacrifice 83

DAVID ROWNTREE themselves completely for their children. We left this family with the promise to Christine that she will be invited to RB this fall.

Our next stop was to visit Karina, her aunt, grandmother, and cousins. Karina has been living with grandma for several years and appears to fit in well with the rules and duties all into the Saturday at that house. Even though they all were into the Saturday schedule of washing and cleaning, we were welcomed enthusiastically. Marge and I were very hungry at this hour and I told Karina we were going over to the market and buy beer and chips. “Oh, no, no, we have mole and I am about to make rice. Please, stay and eat with us. “We had no argument to give to Karina. Aunt Carolina was heating the mole and Karina started the rice. We bought beer and chips anyway, and we shared around while the meal was getting ready.

The word “mole” has a magic effect on us. We cannot refuse a meal of this type. Cuca’s mole is the bast. Her sister Gloria makes great mole. Patricia’s mole is good. Carolinas was great.

There is red mole, brown mole, and black mole, my favorite, made with chocolate. Mole with chicken or pork or beef.

Needless to say, it was a wonderful lunch. Cousin Linda was not home and I kept saying, “I’m sorry Linda, we are eating your dinner”. Carolina assured me that Linda would eat in town.

We all had lots of fun conversations and Karina at age 20, has become more personable and less shy. When she used to come to our house six years ago after Shriner’s appointments, she hardly spoke at all. Her crippled leg has kept her from mixing with her peers. She walks with a limp, always will, but the crutches are gone, forever, we pray! She had a great piece of news for us. During the daytime, she removes the braces and walks without them. Only at home and not doing heavy work.

Karina was our first Shiner kid. She is very special. We both 84

Our Lifelong Love Affair hugged her and embraced and told her that we love her. I have one of her crutches at home, signed and hanging where I see it often.

Even though we had interrupted their schedule, Carolina and the rest thanked us for coming. It was a visit long overdue.

Perhaps we put a little pleasant diversion into their day; we were well rewarded.

The trip would not be complete without, “hola David, hola Magie, I was not expecting you. It has been very hot?” Yes, none other than Maria. “I returned from the line at 3:00 today. It was very hot and there were few cars. I made very little.” I did not ask how much. We brought a bag of children’s clothes. These are always hot items for selling. Remember, my friend, Tuesday is a holiday in Mexico. Put your things out front. Everyone will be home from work. Sept. 16, is Independence Day in Mexico.

“Please come into my room and we will chat. “Yes, for a few minutes. I told her that we had not heard from Joe Guth yet.

She was not worried. When the braces are ready they will be ready. Maria, remember Jaime from RB? He and his dentist and an important lawyer, also from Mexico, want to come and see you and your lot. They read some of your stories and are very interested in helping you. Marge and I have taken the first two pages of Maria’s story together with an update and reprinted them. These we are using to solicit help for Maria to buy her a lot and build a house for the three. I have told her before that we are writing her story. Marge is the editor/proofreader/critic and all the rest that is needed to do this story. Maria is very pleased to be the subject of a story on her life. She is easy to write about. The pages just fly by. I wish that she could read these pages; it would be a monumental project to translate.

We will be coming to your house on Wednesday, at 9:oo am.

I realize it is early for you. “It is ok, David, I will be ready.” This 85

DAVID ROWNTREE will be our first input from this side of the border. We need the help of Mexicans, desperately!

The boys were acting up, being silly, and testing their mother’s patience. Marge raised her voice to them and they stopped short. Maria laughed and threatened each with a swat.

Naturally, they act out when there is someone else in the area.

The birds were silent. They sensed that the lady of the house was slightly angry.

Times up, we must go. “Til Wednesday, take care, and please do not fall. The hugs and the kisses came from all sides. She hates to let go of Marge. What a strong bond has been forged between the two.

Marge, Priscilina and David 86

Our Lifelong Love Affair

MARIA’S LOT AND GABRIEL

F

or now, this will be the heading of our entry. It may change. Tomorrow will tell. Gabriel, the important gov. official, will be going to Maria’s room. Important people

do not visit squatters like Maria. This will be an education for him, our friend Jim, and the dentist. We have prepared Maria for their visit; put on an old dress, no makeup, and most of all, cry when you feel it is necessary. Of course, we are not trying to fool anyone; one look at her circumstances and you know. The dramatics could not hurt her cause. She laughed at these instructions, but the intent she grasped immediately. Remember the episode in the DIF office over her i.d card?

I’ll end this part of our story with two points: Maria has saved $600 in 5 months for her lot. Is she doing her part? Today, a hot 16 of September I took 2 showers. Maria Martinez Gomez has never had a shower.

Marge, Jim, and I left RB early to meet Dr. Martin Campo in downtown Tijuana. I drove and Jim was the navigator. This is a part of the city with which I am not familiar. Martin was waiting and we left immediately for Denny’s near the airport. Sn. Gabriel Preciado was a bit late. Marge and I were feeling anxious that he might not make come. A very smiley, young man rushed in and made his apologies to Martin. We all introduced ourselves. He does not speak English. Yet, his sincere manners easily overcame language differences. We left and this time I led the group. This was familiar territory for me.

When I saw Maria standing in her doorway, I felt a pang of foolishness. Yesterday I told her not to fix up and were an old dress; this lady may be poor, but she is a proud person. She did fix up and was wearing a nice dress. The same dress she wore to meet 87

DAVID ROWNTREE our church group. I was instantly pleased that she had disregarded my rash advice. I will surely apologize to her for this. Proudly I introduced her to the three men… “our friend, Maria Martinez”.

Jim knew Maria from our house. Martin and Gabriel took to her immediately. From the top bunk bed, I bought down one of brother John’s card chairs for Gabriel. The two had a long conversation about her years at this address. In the midst of all these people, she was articulate and answered all of Gabriel’s questions. Marge and I are still amazed at her transformation these past several months.

That rusty door of Maria’s life, shut tight all these years, is now open. She is happier now, in spite of her living conditions, and is in pursuit of her great goal; “mi lote, mi lote!”

Martin explained to us the conversation between Maia and Gabriel. Maria has lived there for ten years and paid land taxes for several of those years. She has accrued some property rights.

The title of the land has to be cleared. This is the same process in the US. Mexican records are not as accurate. Gabriel promised he would start this task right away. Marge and I cried for happiness; finally, we are taking this first important step. Gabriel put his arm around Marge and said in English, “don’t worry, if not here, we will find Maria a lot of this area.”

Before he left I asked Gabriel for his card. He hesitated, his cards were in his office. Instead, he gave me another card. Not only is he a government land official, but Gabriel is also a clinical psychologist! And, Martin told us, he works with the homeless children on the Tijuana streets. Both of these fine men have come from poor origins. Senor Gabriel may very well become Maria’s, Angel Gabriel. Before he left I gave Gabriel our introduction to Maria’s life. He reads English.

As we were saying our goodbyes, Jim went back to see Maria.

He gave her a gift toward her lot and said that they share the same birthday. “I do not understand English, Jaime,” I explained to Maria 88

Our Lifelong Love Affair that she and Jim have the same birthday and that we wanted to come up to SD and celebrate together. Of course, she would be delighted! This will be another project.

21 September Sunday Today Marge and I made a long-overdue visit to Patricia Chavez’s house. Patricia lives in El Lago [the lake near the Sony plant where she works. We first met when she lived in Mariano near the Carter project. Cuca’s sister took me to her house one day to meet the family. Gloria knew we were active with Shriners and Patricia’s son, Jose Luis Enrique, had a badly deformed leg and foot. The poor child had five operations and the leg was still in bad shape. He literally walked on the side of his foot. Several visits to Los Angeles and one operation and our friend, Luis, walks perfectly. He still has some pain when standing for several hours.

Minor compared to what he suffered before. We have been close to the family since. When they moved to El Lago, we followed.

Patricia is on our Christmas list for turkeys and food. Her four children, Patty, Christian, Luis, and Jorge, have all grown tall and handsome in the past years. All are very intelligent and have attended school. Christian graduated from high school last year with high marks. In no time he had his visa and came up to visit us.

He loves airplanes and so we took him to the aerospace museum at Balboa Park. We have been hounding his mother to get her passport. Finally, her mother visited her, brought the necessary papers. Yesterday, we met her mother, Maria de la Luz, for the first time a lovely, cultured lady whom we took to immediately. Patricia comes from a middle-class family; her father was a career pilot in the Mexican airforce. Why she came to the outpost of Tijuana I do not know. What I do know is that she is as poor as the rest of our Mexican friends.

89

DAVID ROWNTREE Like one of our visits, Marge made tuna and egg salad sandwiches.

Our Mexican friends go wild over this type of food. Salted peanuts in the shells, potato chips, and home­made lemon bread rounded out the menu. Also, our usual bottle of wine. Between four of us and the kids, the wine does not go very far. Next time, two bottles.

We had not seen Patricia since her birthday lunch in April.

We had a lot of catching up to do. She remembered my upcoming birthday and invited us to a celebration in November. Chiles relleno and the red rice. I need say no more. It’s a firm date. Maria de la Luz will make the cake. She is very talented. Knitted each of us a sweater. Very good work.

Patricia and her kids are like many of our other Mexican friends, they understand quite a bit of English and gladly helped me when I get off the track with my Spanish. In this way, our conversations always move right along and are entertaining. Those who are lesser educated, can not help me when I am in trouble. Maria does surprisingly well in this category. Our visit went swiftly and ended all too soon. We promised to keep in closer contact. Patricia always walks down with us to the car. She lives on the 4th floor. This time Maria de la Luz came also. Before I forget, Maria’s mother, Maria Luisa, lives in Anaheim. We have visited her and talk often on the phone. She also is a lovely lady. She lives close to two of her sons, both retired from Disneyland. Anyway, we all embraced and kissed goodbye and told each other, “we love you.” It was like we had known Maria for years. I suppose she has heard much of Patricia’s friends from RB. As we neared the Otay border I saw the familiar umbrella up ahead. Don’t go home yet, my friend. She did not and soon saw me waving. We have no money for you, Maria, only our love. “I love you and Magie.” The sun and fumes were fierce, yet she looked good. She was wearing a very nice outfit and was proud to tell us that it came from one of our RB donations. Our Mexican friends 90

Our Lifelong Love Affair love clothing sent down from the US. They always mention when they are wearing something donated.

“I will be with you and Magie on Thursday for our lunch date.”

The first time was very difficult for her since I misunderstood the time and she was entertaining Americans for the first time.

91

DAVID ROWNTREE

RAIN! RAIN!

September 25

T

he first rain of the season forced the cancellation of our luncheon date at Maria’s house. It was a very bad day and we decided not to make the trip down.

At the same time, something was happening at # 35. Marge received 4 calls from Maria’s kids. I was at work and so she had to cope with the language problem. They were trying to tell her why their mother had to cancel and Marge was trying to tell them why we canceled. Finally, she received a call from a lady who spoke English. Luz Maria, a neighbor of Maria’s, who helped straighten our thinks. She readily gave Merge her phone number. “Call any time, I will help.” What a break! Rest assured we will meet this lady on our next trip to Guillermo Prieto.

The best part of this rainy day was that Joe Guth has scheduled Maria for an appointment to measure her leg. That second leg brace Felix was working on had to be discarded. Joe knows about her birthday and scheduled her accordingly. Maria will stay for two days and Marge is going to entertain Jane and Jim also. Jim and the Umbrella Lady celebrate the same day.

In her whole life has Maria Martinez ever had her very own birthday party? We will find out and let you know next time.

Saturday, 27 September Lots of preparations going on. Silver polishing, china cleaning, menu doings. “Maria is going to have a birthday to remember. No 92

Our Lifelong Love Affair patio dinner, this. Centerstage dining room table, all the trimmings.

It’s exciting.

An eventful week coming up. We hope to see Monsignor Lloyd and talk over a big deal with him. Already he will allow all donations to go through the church. That will make our organization [of two] look authentic I will explain in more detail after we see him.

5 days and counting.

Monday. We met with Monsignor Lloyd and he readily agreed to receive the donations this year. Maria’s share will go directly into the Mexican Mission fund. I will write a note in her birthday card telling her of the donations. Hallmark has some nice Spanish cards. In addition, I am struggling with the translation of the first three pages of her story. We would like her to know how we are introducing Maria to the outside world. I think there will be some tears of joy shed this Saturday evening.

4 days to the Joe Guth St. Vincent de Paul has written the letter and Binational will fax it to us on Wednesday. I have managed to translate 2 pages and ½ of the third. It will be ready for Maria.

3 days to Sombrilla.

93

DAVID ROWNTREE

HER FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY

“W

hen is mommy coming back?” Manuel did not appear overly worried. He just wanted to make sure. Don’t worry, we will be returning

Sunday at mid-day. That’s all we need to hear. We bought some treats (bribes) for the boys to smooth the way; apples, pudding, and back licorice. They will stay the night at dona Emilia’s. Maria gave them their instructions and a few warnings and we were off to the border. We met some vendors and they greeted Maria as usual. I talked with some of the men, kidding about Maria being almost American after so many trips to the US. Afterward, she cautioned me that they were “groceros”, not very nice men. I cannot remember, some of the men are gentlemen and others are not. She lets me know each trip though. INS was amiable again; something is very wrong at this office. Twice now they have been cordial.

Joe Guth, greeted us warmly and he and his assistant Maria, proceed to measure and draw the outline of Maria’s leg. I mentioned before that the one brace cannot be used. Tony, the technician, must start from the beginning on that brace. He will do the work gratis on the weekend. A weekend very soon Joe promised me. We must encourage Tony with photos of Maria and her room and the old beds. Joe took pictures also. A case of beer if needed. Afterward, Joe took me up to his truck where he had an almost new wheelchair for Maria. This is a $1000 model at least. She was delighted. Well padded and even with the safety belt. Are there laws in Mexico requiring seat belts on wheelchairs? What a laugh! If some American politicians hear about that we will have all kinds of regulations. Also, Joe had a pair of ortho shoes for Maria. White, they look like ice-skating 94

Our Lifelong Love Affair boots. She could not wear them long as they are very stiff. I have a pile of shoe parts that Joe gave us. Perhaps Maria can barter with her local shoe market and he can stretch them. It is very evident that Joe likes Maria. He has done much over the years helping young people both for pay and gratis. From the very first visit, there has been a not a hint of any costs.

Since it was already late afternoon, we decided to go back to RB and not do any lunch. Lunch is very exciting for Maria, and she was going to have a lot of excitement for the next two days.

On our trip back from the orthotist, Maria told us about the rainy day when we both had to cancel her lunch on a date.

Marge and I had already decided not to make this trip down. It was a terrible day. “Thursday was a very bad day for me. While washing dishes I slipped and fell and broke one of my ceramic cups. I cut my hand quite badly and went to a nearby clinic. I told Manuel to call Megie but not to tell her that I was hurt. I didn’t want to worry you both. I didn’t need stitches, it was more blood loss than anything. Manuel remembered that our neighbor, Luz Maria, speaks English and so she called. “ Soon after Maria fell asleep until we reached RB. “I didn’t sleep well last night. I was very excited about my trip to your house and celebrating my birthday. This will be my first birthday party.” I do not think she saw our faces; we were both on the verge of tears. She was not complaining, just saying a sad fact about her life. We both know she is overjoyed with the approaching event.

Maria gave no argument about taking a rest in the room about so many of our Mexican friends have used over the years. For an hour or so we heard her moving about the bedroom. Everyone in a while we would call out to her, “yes, I am ok.” I went for a new wheelchair as she left the room. The chair will be much easier for her to get around. “The reason I took so long was that I was reading the story you wrote about me. I like it very much.” I was 95

DAVID ROWNTREE very anxious to ask her if the story has emotion, and feelings.

“Yes, it has much emotion.” Maria knows how we feel about her.

Nevertheless, I wanted to put into her language what we think of Maria. This will be another of her gifts.

We ate out on the patio, tuna sandwiches, salad, and mint candy for a desert. She is a very light eater and continues to maintain her weight. No more tortillas. While Marge was picking up the dishes, Maria and I took a stroll around the block. She played with the flashlight and we talked about the quietness of the area and the various wildlife that still visit here. A silver fox, coyotes, quail, rabbits, hawks, raccoons, and even the mountain lion visited our area last summer. Marge was on the phone with Meg when we returned. Meg and Maria both wanted to talk to each other. Neither understands the other, yet they had fun on the phone. Later we drifted into the TV room and she watched a little of her “novela”, soap opera.

Her soap opera is like a dream world; everyone is rich, beautiful, and lives in elegant homes in Mexico City. She thinks we are rich! At nine she was fading rapidly. It has been a long time with little sleep. I assured her that the birds would not be screaming tonight. On the last visit, they nearly drove her crazy.

This morning Marge and I were up long before Maria woke.

When she did, it took ages for her to come out and join us. I remarked to Marge that this was a part of her vacation; sleep late; rise slowly and take as much time as she needed. To be in a room alone and quiet is a rich treat for her. She is savoring these treats to the ultimate degree. We made a big deal when she rolled down the hallway. The queen is coming. How pretty she looks.

As usual, the hand went up to the side of her face. She loves the attention. Why not? Never had any in her whole life. We sat out on the patio, while she had a coffee and toast. I outlined our schedule for the day. A visit with the neighbor, Jane, and another 96

Our Lifelong Love Affair with Diane, who has been very good to Maria. Return around 3 to prepare for the evening. Maria said she needs 2 hours to get ready. She will use every minute of that 2 hours.

Meanwhile, we chatted. Does dona Emilia have an oven? “Yes, why?” When your turkey comes it will need a place to roast. Last year Maria and the boys went to her friend’s house for Christmas.

She has since moved far away. “I am sure we will all go over to dona Emilia’s for Christmas.

I suggested Maria reverse her mattresses each month to save on the wearing. “Yes, David, I am already doing that. I take good care of my mattresses. “I know you do my friend. I felt so silly telling her that. We find that Maria is becoming more and more alert about everything. She is a very responsive lady.

Did you sleep well last night, it was quiet? “Last night, I didn’t sleep well. I was worried about my boys and the parakeets. Will they behave for Emilia? My birds, will they have enough food and water? Sometimes the boys forget to feed them. Every morning, Jose Luis, the oldest, stands in the doorway of his cage and calls me. “Wha hoo, wha hoo, “ he calls. That is his way of saying, hola (hello). Later, in the early morning, I slept very well. This morning I am not worried about them. They will be ok. “The boys probably were having fun doing little devilish pranks out of mother’s sight.

Maria and I did our rounds of visiting and came back in time for her to have those two hours of preparations. Marge was still readying the evening dinner. She has been very busy the entire week. A lot of work but she loves to entertain. Meg calls her mother “Martha Stewart “, Prisciliana calls her a “romantic”, and Maria calls her, “ the administrator.” They, all three of them, are very correct. Jim and Jane came before Maria reappeared on the party scene. When Maria made her entrance, rolling into our midsts, we all made a big fuss over her and called her the 97

DAVID ROWNTREE “queen” and the “star “. Jane and Jim hugged and kissed her; they love this lady as we do. Drinks were served on the patio and the toasting began. Maria drank mango tea. Then the gifts were presented to her. It was a scene that brought tears of happiness to our eyes. This lady was celebrating her first birthday in 33 years! A beautiful purse and dusting powder from Jane and Jim. Blue pillowcases and sheets for the family’s new beds from the four of us. We gave her fancy soaps and sunglasses. The big gift of the evening was the donation of $2000 toward her lot. This coming from a charitable foundation. I had written her a note explaining this gift and that our church will safeguard it until she is ready. The birthday lady was mystified at the number of zeros. “It is not $20. Is it $200?” No, Maria, it is $2000. She slowly realized the amount. She was at a loss for words. Later. she will fully understand the amount; more than fifteen thousand pesos.

A year’s wages for many people.

Maria’s favorite cook did a wonderful job on the meal. chargrilled London Broil, fruit and nut molded gelatin salad, green bean, mushroom casserole, marinated cauliflower, red peppers, and French cheese bread. Whipped cream and strawberry iced angel food cake decorated with a large rose from our garden.

Traditional birthday candles topped the cake. The cake was served on a crystal pedestal plate; a wedding gift to Marge’s parents, 68 years ago! Maria immediately noticed the plate and remarked that it must be an antique. Though poor, Maria has fine taste. All birth­day cakes were served on this plate at Marge’s childhood home on Ravenwood Ave. Happy memories for her. With all the fun and festivities I forgot to take any pictures. Never­theless, Maria will cherish these days in her heart. So very many first experiences for her. Marge and I are happy to be with Maria and be a part of her life. “You and Magie have changed my life. I have many new friends now and you are my family.”

98

Our Lifelong Love Affair Tomorrow morning would you like to meet Fr. Lloyd at our church? He is the one who first arranged for Maria’s St. Vincent dePaul appointment. Fr. Lloyd will also hold the donations to Maria’s house.”Yes, I would like very much to meet’ el padre’.” We will leave for the church at 9:45 am to greet him after the mass. “ I will be ready.”

Jim and Jane had left and Maria was getting tired. It was very late for her. “I am going to sleep now. Magie, may I borrow some of your face lotion? My skin is very dry because of the sun.”

She rolled down the hall and hopped up on her bed. As she was removing those sad broken braces, we both hugged her and wished her a good sleep. Another night of quiet rest and privacy.

This in itself must be a birthday gift to Maria.

It was a struggle but we made it to church on time. We waited until last before meeting Fr. Lloyd. I hardly had time to introduce him when he grasped her hands and blessed her in Spanish. She talked with him briefly and was very humbled that this important American priest would bother with a poor Indian girl. Maria does not know, but on the other hand, she may know, that most of the world’s great holy people have been exactly like herself. It was a good meeting and a necessary one.

Maria often refers to herself as “Indian’’, in a somewhat negative sense. Less attractive, poor, lower class. Her father was Indian while her mother was more Spanish-looking; tall and light complexion. Marge and I are dissuading her of that idea. She may be poor in worldly goods but nothing else.

Our next stop was at Boney’s market. This was indeed a first for Maria. Everyone in southern California knows of this fruit and vegetable oasis.” Magie, please hold this money for me and help me buy vegetables. Jaime and your neighbor Jane each gave me $20. One I will spend and the other is for my lot.” She was Cinderella at the ball. Her chair spun this way for lettuce and 99

DAVID ROWNTREE spun that way for broccoli. Snap green beans, potatoes, garlic, apples, celery, cucumbers, on and on she went. It was another party; another birthday. It really was! Marge was sending her back with a large package of chicken breasts and the balance of the cake. Maria’s bill; $14. She was delighted. Lest we forget, she bought I pound of wild birdseed for her four parakeets. Cheaper here than in Tijuana. “Magie, please take this $1 and buy me more seed the next time.” Ok, that’s 2 pounds.

Maria wore her sunglasses all day Sunday. She knows one of our favorite pictures of her is at Seaport Village. In her chair, back to the water, with sunglasses. We call her the movie queen.

This day, however, she left the label on the lens. Maria, remove that label. “No, no, these are my new glasses.” I need not go into that “ new “ business again. She is consistent.

At #35, the boys were literally bursting with anticipation. They could hardly wait until their mother came into the room. Marge told me to hurry before Maria came. When she entered they kissed their mother and presented her with a bouquet of flowers and a large gift applied box. She was very surprised. Tears were very close to the surface. For Marge and I also. With money from dona Emilia, the two had bought a beautiful dress. I don’t know how they selected it, but it was perfect. Before I left Friday, I gave Manuel some money for flowers. But the dress, what a wonderful gift for their favorite lady in the world!

Needless to say, Jose Luis was upset at Maria. Not a word from him. The three others were happy and chirping. I have a strong feeling he does not like these two gringos. Why do they keep taking Maria away?

Before we left #35, we went over to #34 and met Luz Maria Gomez. It was she who called us on that rainy, cut-hand day last week. A lovely lady, newly married, and perfect at both languages.

Like Marge, she is an “ama de casa”, a home lover. She said that 100

Our Lifelong Love Affair she would relay any messages at any time to the family. Maria Luz is such a lovely lady, why not be a friend to her.”I am very embarrassed to visit her in my room. After I have my house then I will invite her over.” We cannot fault her for that.

Don’t forget, my friend, Friday, Sobrina and her husband are visiting with you. We will arrive in the late afternoon; at 4.:00. “I will be waiting for you. Then Sobrina will see the beautiful purse she gave me. “ The usual hugs and kisses and we were off.

Fr. Bruno was not at the church. The receptionist said he was in the hospital with leg problems. We sent him our prayers and hoped he would be back by our next visit.

101

DAVID ROWNTREE

SOMBRILLA AND SOBRINA

L

aurie had heard so much about Maria and now they were about to meet. We picked Laurie and Erick up at the airport and went directly to #35. It was a beautiful

day and the promised rain did not materialize. The three greeted eachother like family. Lately, I have told Maria that she is family.

She has readily grasped that concept. For some reason or other, the school was out early and Javier was home. Manuel was still at school studying. One of the family’s benefactors has offered to help the kids financially as long as they continue to study and pass.

Manuel is taking this seriously. Maria sent Javi to get his brother.

When they returned Laurie went out to the car and brought out 2 baseball gloves, caps, and balls. The kids kept putting the gloves on the wrong hand. Are they left-handed Maria? “No, they just do not know how to use these gloves.” Once oriented they were fine.

Laurie, an ace ball player in her own right, showed the boys how to catch. This was their first experience at playing catch and their first gloves. The hardball is unforgiving and Manuel learned quickly to use the glove and not his head.

“Magie, you and Laurie look so much alike. I see it in your eyes and noses. “Laurie’s father is Marge’s brother. Maria also remarked that Erick looked Oriental. Erick’s mother is Japanese. Perceptive Maria.

While all this is going on, Jose Luis is doing cartwheels to get our attention. How was he when you arrived back, Sunday? “Jose Luis did not talk Sunday and all day Monday. He was very mad at me. Tuesday he woke us with his ‘wha hoo ‘ greeting.” I gave him a few peanuts and that led him to show off even more. Laurie did not spend much time in the room. Like Marge, she gets that feeling of claustrophobia when spending any amount of time in 102

Our Lifelong Love Affair such cramped quarters. Maria came out and we took pictures of all the family; the Mexican side and the American side.

Jim had given me a radio for Maria. In no time at all the two boys had figured out the whole thing; am, fm, and tape player.

They have one tape. Next trip I will bring some of our tapes. Marge had brought a package of stew beef. Maria will figure that out quickly. It was a nice visit all around. The boys interacted, Erick practiced his highschool Spanish. Maria enjoyed being the center of our attention for a few hours. Before we left, Laurie and Erick gave Maria $40. Please do not go to the border tomorrow. “No, with this gift I will only sell things in front of my room. Besides, my face breaks out when I am in the sun all day.”

We will see you on November 4, for our lunch date.” Yes, I will be ready. Please come at 2:00. “Remember, call if you have any emergencies.

As we were exchanging hugs and kisses, Maria said, “David, you and Magie have changed my life, forever!” Maria, you have done the same for us.

Erick and Laurie were deeply impressed with the visit. The general theme was the wonderful job she was doing with the boys and her fine grasp of conversational skills. She has grown selfconfident and is no longer intimidated by the people we bring to her room. Laurie and Erick has been impressed with Maria’s story.

To meet her strengthened their feelings for her.

I made a quick stop at San Ignacio church. Fr. Bruno has returned from the hospital and is recovering in his room. Soon we will be meeting with him when the donation comes.

103

DAVID ROWNTREE

LUPE AND THE LOT

“I

do not have the words to express my gratitude. “These were Maria’s words to us as we departed her house today, 23 October. Thanks to Father Bruno’s number

one volunteer, Lupe, we brought Maria news that she could not have imagined a few months ago. She will own her lot. The poor, crippled, Indian girl, with faith as strong as granite, will be a lady of status; a property owner. And, very soon at that!

Last week Marge decided that we had waited long enough for help from other sources. We should talk to Fr. Bruno and see if he can help us through this government mess. Marge has said before that we must look to the churches for help. Fr. Lloyd came to our aid and now we enlisted Fr. Bruno. “Yes, I know a lady in the parish. She is not a lawyer but she knows much about government and how things get done. We can go to her house right now.”

We were delighted. Senora Lupe was more than happy to help.

Father explained the story of Maria. Lupe is so full of life that she almost explodes with enthusiasm. “ Next week we will go to the government office and I will ask what we can do. Does Maria have any receipts for any taxes she has paid?” I did not know but promised to ask her when we passed at the border. Later that day, “yes, I have one. I will give it to you when you come next week.

“This 3-year-old tax slip proved to be invaluable.

Today, the three of us made the trip to the state government center in Rio Zona. The second office we entered paid off. While Marge and I waited, Lupe did what she does best; after talking with several people, she came away with a piece of paper. What is it, and what does it say? “ It says that after Maria pays this amount, she will be the owner of #35 Guillermo Prieto.” And, how much will it cost? I looked over at the paper, it had a sum of $950.00.

104

Our Lifelong Love Affair That’s not too bad I thought. The foundation is donating two thousand to Maria.”It will cost Maria $950, Mexican pesos that are.” I don’t believe you, Lupe. I don’t believe it. Marge kept asking, “how much does it say, how much?” About $130. Marge could not believe it. She went over to the man at the counter. “ Did you wait on this lady?” Yes, he had.”Is this really the cost of her lot?”

That is correct he said.”She must pay this amount before October 31. Then, in January she will sign the contract for her land. For now, with this payment, she can build on her lot. It is hers. “Lupe was laughing all through this. These two Americans ran back and forth in total disbelief. “When you have faith in El Senor, these things are accomplished.”

Before going back to #35, we had a mini celebration at a new restaurant across from the government complex; the Boll Weevil.

The same good food as in San Diego. Lupe, please let me see the paper again. I still find it hard to believe. “You must have faith in God, then He will help you. “The paper did not change. All those weeks we waited and wondered how many thousands the land might cost.

Lupe, please come with us to tell Maria the news. No problem.

She can give all the details to Maria. “Hi, I have been waiting for you. Come in, come in.” The two greeted each other like sisters.

Marge remarked later how perfectly at ease Maria is with everyone she meets. Lupe described the whole trip and all the details to Maria. The tears did not come from her but Marge and I felt them coming. Maria was not surprised or shocked. She was numb. Like the day she saw her first $100 bill. That $100 bill was real and this paper is real. “Wednesday, I will have the money ready for you.

Dona Emilia will be very happy also. “You do not have to come with us, Maria. They only need the money at this time. Marge remarked that Maria’s sleep tonight will not be a peaceful one. Her mind will be whirling with the news she received this day.

105

DAVID ROWNTREE At San Ignacio, we talked again with Fr. Bruno. We would like to contact the architect, Roberto, who is a member of the parish.

Prices on Maria’s house are the next hurdle. “Yes, I know him and his wife. We can go over there now. They live close by.” What a great help this man has been! Roberto was on a project but his wife, Gloria, greeted us like we were old friends. She remembered me from our talk at the church when the youth group was there.”

Roberto works mainly with concrete and blocks buildings. They are expensive. “ We were thinking of the traditional exterior wood paneling. “However he is now building houses using “yeso” (drywall), as an exterior wall finish. Come outside I will show you what he is doing at our house. Roberto has been building his house like most people in the Tijuana area. Start a room, then a wall. Later, a driveway, a roof, and on and on. As the funds become available each little separate project gets finished. The front of his home looks like stucco, however, it is green board drywall.

This type is water-resistant and used in the US in showers, baths, and kitchens. It had been coated with a cement-type product that looked like stucco. Cheap and fast to build. It looks like a good solution for Maria’s house. I left the house plans with Gloria. She told us that Roberto will look at Maria’s lot and have prices for us next week, Wednesday. That will be a busy day; Maria will pay for her lot and we will get some sort of idea of the cost of our next hurdle; “mi casa, mi casa.”

106

Our Lifelong Love Affair

THE LOT, LUPE AND LUNCH

November 6

T

oday we had these three items to pursue. Even though Maria had paid the back tax es on the lot, the title has to be changed. This necessitated another trip to another

government office. Government wheels grind the same; slowly and off­track. This office is located somewhere in downtown Tijuana.

Poor Lupe, she knows less of Tijuana than I do. That’s bad. In spite of the Mexican motorists, we finally found the place. Talking to the government person was like talking to the chair on which she was sitting. Lupe persisted in her explanation of Maria’s plight. “Oh, I remember that lady. She was in here several weeks ago.” You did not help her then, did you? “She must present herself here at 8 am and be interviewed by the architect and others. “Apparently, since the taxes are now paid, they will now speak to her. Next week Lupe and Maria will go together and tangle with the bureaucracy. The poor little Indian girl, always claiming a lack of intelligence, found this place all on her own. It took us two and a half hours to make this journey. I use the phrase, “Indian “, with sincere affection.

Maria refers to herself in this manner, playing down her looks and intelligence. I respond with, you may be poor, but you are smart and pretty.

Our once cancelled luncheon date was for today. We arrived back at Maria’s room at 2 pm; just in time. After a one-week strike by the teachers, the boys had returned to classes. The primary school teachers were the only ones on strike. Many of these teachers work one or two other jobs, just to make a meager living. There are no $50k grade school teachers in this land. I brought things for Maria 107

DAVID ROWNTREE to sell and Marge brought Haloween candy for the boys. It is always cheaper after the fact. Remember the big pumpkin Marge brought the last visit? Did the boys have fun carving it and putting a candle inside? “Oh, no. I cut the “ squash “, rubbed it with cinnamon and sugar, and cooked it. It was so delicious! “ In the US, Maria, most people do not cook these pumpkins. Out they go the next day.

“Americans waste much, do they not?” Marge commented that the next time, in addition, she will buy two small ones for the boys.

Please do not rush, Maria. Let us chat before our lunch. With that, she brought out the Tecate beer. Her neighbor had bought it for her.

As we were explaining our trip to Maria, a voice called from outside. It was Roberto, the architect. Unfortunately, he does not speak English. I should be used to this by now. Marge and I greeted him and he went in to meet Maria. They talked briefly and when Maria started to tell him about our helping her, I said let’s go outside and look at the lot. She is totally appreciative of our help. I maintain that Marge and I are the fortunate ones. To be her friend is a satisfaction beyond words.

Marge and I had met Roberto’s wife, Gloria. She is a fine lady and he appears to be equally gifted. We discussed at length the proposed house and the costs. Marge and I have many ideas about this project. It must be comfortable, with an abundance of light, easy access, secure, and so on. Roberto agreed with most of our ideas and had some of his own. “The fence across the front of the lot should have a gate. Some day the boys may have a car. All the windows must have security bars. A skylight in the bathroom will be better than a window. That wall will be very close to her neighbor’s wall.” Our discussion was going well.”I have some prelim­inary costs in the truck. There are some items I have not priced yet.” He brought out the cost sheets. $114K pesos. Using the exchange rate of $8 pesos to $1, we were looking at $14,000 dollars.

We were not surprised. This will be a very sturdy, concrete block 108

Our Lifelong Love Affair structure. This will be Maria’s first and probably last house. It must be built just right for her special needs. In the years to come, these walls will encompass her world.

We will meet again soon and discuss in more detail this project.”

I must say goodbye to Maria.” As he went back to see Maria, my estimation of Roberto went up several levels. She was important enough for him to extend that courtesy. Marge and I know in addition that Maria had captured his admiration. She has the same effect on everyone.

Our lunch was waiting. Marge had brought the fumi cabbage salad, French cheese bread, and lemon bread. Maria outdid herself with the Angelfish and pork dishes. Last January, without beds and without chairs, we ate and marveled at her skills. We were new friends then and she was very nervous. Today, she hopped up on her bed and let “Magie” serve. We are family now! She refused to eat. She eats very little. Her stomach will not tolerate much food.

As she sat on her bed watching us, I gave her a taste of the salad and bread. Just a tiny taste. She smiled and ate. Though she is very excited about this house project, she says little. It is a concept beyond her comprehension. Needless to say, I did not mention the cost.

109

DAVID ROWNTREE

CHRISTMAS EVE, 1997

I

t has been a month since my last entry to Maria’s story.

Due in most part to discouraging news regarding Maria’s situation. After going through months of Felix’s stalling

tactics, we all were happy to find Joe Guth and his positive commitment to making her braces. Then came the stalling and the excuses and finally, he just opted out of his promise. Marge and I were frantic; Maria was her usual patient, understanding self.

Marge located Alan Pryor at Shriners in Los Angeles. He agreed to do the work, gratis. It was Alan who was so involved with Karina’s case. He did a wonderful job on her brace. I mentioned some pages back that Karina walks without the brace; only at her home; only sometimes. But walk she does! After all of Marge’s efforts to set up an appointment with Alan, he comes down with the flu. A canceled trip to Alan’s house for an examination and measuring of Maria’s legs. Alan gets better and we get sick. So, the self-described poor, little Indian girl, will wait a while longer for her trip to Los Angeles. What a contrast between her and the two of us: panic worrying versus calm resignation. “Please, Magie, do not worry about me. I can wait for the braces. It is ok, do not worry about me. “Nevertheless, we worry about her. Falling is such a strong possibility.

To add salt to our pains, housebuilders recommended by the nearby church and others, simply ignored our requests for house costs. Last week, Maria, sensing our frustration, told me that she knows a man who builds houses. We can meet with him when we wish. We have come to the realization that Maria is the one who will make things happen. We must rely on her to move ahead on this very difficult road. The others pay lip service but have no 110

Our Lifelong Love Affair substance. Maria is pure substance! The ultimate survivalist. I was going to title this edition of Maria’s story, “Does anyone care?”

People do care; many do. Diane and Jane, Jim and Uncle John, Pat and John, Gail and Fr. Lloyd. Many others love Maria and are making her life better. Sad to say, too few have met her and have been inspired by her faith and outlook on life. Many more will come to know about this lady and will help her and her boys. They must!

Sunday, 21 December, we made our seventh annual trip to Tijuana with food and Christmas turkeys. Jim, his son-in­law and I loaded up Sunday am and headed south. It was a bad day. It was a terrible day! It was Noah’s ark kind of day. At Mariano Matamoros on the road and at Mother Theresa’s church. Beyond that a sea of mud and vehicles. I called my friend Mario. Please help, we cannot pass any further. “I’ll be right there. “He flew up that muddy hill in nothing flat and we loaded every­t hing on his truck.

I remarked later that day to Marge that our friends in Mariano and elsewhere are so completely reliable. Without influence, poor, but always there to help one another. Those others of wealth and influence, are hollow sounding.

Monday we made another trip south. This time no rain and our friend of many years, John came with me. John has made the trip before. He loves our friends and bonds so easily with them.

First to Patricia’s at El Lago. John knew her from years back. His opinion still holds; a strong, happy, intelligent lady. Patricia is one of the gems in our crown of Mexican friends. John renewed his friendship with Patricia’s children; now, so much more grown and understanding English more than ever. Luis Enrique, studying English, computers, and accounting. Christian, not studying English, but understanding much. Christian is finally getting his wish to work at the Tijuana international airport. I do not know in what capacity but he will be a success. His grandfather was a 111

DAVID ROWNTREE career pilot in the Mexican airforce. The daughter, Paty, speaks and understands English very well. Mother does not know the language but I swear she understands every word we say. She and Marge get along famously, like sisters. We all hugged as we left this wonderful family. We have become family. “We will talk soon about a date to come here for dinner. “Thank you, friend, we will indeed talk.

From El Lago to Mesa Otay takes 10 minutes. Maria was waiting for us. “Adelante, adelante.” “ Come in, come in.” The boys helped me with their Christmas food, turkey, and gifts. John went ahead and hugged Maria as he knew her for years. One bonds with this lady immediately. The boys were into the food and candy right away. Their mother scolded them successfully; somewhat. I had brought some cookies. Here, you two rascals, eat these. “sit down, please sit down.” She hopped up on her bed and looked at her gifts.

Open them, Maria. The hand went to her face. Though they were close, the tears of happiness did not come. The large, beautifully wrapped package first.” Oh, an Indian doll, just like me.” Diane and her cousin, Gail had bought Josephina, a large beautiful doll with long black hair. A story about Josefina, in Spanish, came with the doll.”My first, my very first doll. I will read her story to the boys tonight. It is so beautiful. “Our gift was a small, living Christmas tree. Marge decorated it and strung it with lights. I put it on top of the tv and lit it. Santa had arrived at Maria’s house. Was that manger any larger than this little cement block room?

It goes without saying that this little tree was her first at Christmas. “Yes, David, this is my first Christmas tree. I thank you and Magie for this gift.”

Two envelopes were opened next. I wrote her a note in each.

One from our neighbor, Jane, the other from Uncle John. $70 altogether. “For my lot, for my lot. “Read the notes first, my friend $20 for a new dress, and $10 for the boys. The rest as you see fit.

112

Our Lifelong Love Affair The turkey and foods, scattered about the room.took second place.

There will be time later to enjoy these things. She just sat there and glowed in happiness. John was quiet but absorbing the whole scene. She had captured him just like she did with the youth group those many months ago. Sometimes Maria looks at me doubtingly.

I know she is wondering if the money really comes from others or is just a ruse to hide our giving. Honest, Maria, the money comes from these people. Honest. When I gave her money from Jim on Sunday, she gave me that look. Marge and I cannot break her trust; we cannot give her money. “Look at all of these things I have here.

“I did not give them, only the tree is from Magie and me. “But, it is because of you and Magie my life has changed so much this past year. “ I do not argue the point. Our lives have changed also. John commented, how fortunate Maria is to have Marge and me. No, no, John, we are the lucky ones.

John is not feeling well. Maria notices and questions him. “ Yes, I understand. I know pain. When the weather is cold, my legs hurt very much. I will add you to my prayers.”

“David, look outside and see what I have.” I had not noticed when we approached her room. It takes ones undivided attention to maneuver the sea of mud from the street to her door. Surprise!

Maria has her water piped in from the street. Close to her room, the white plastic pipe pops out of the ground with a faucet attached.” I paid $65 for the meter and the installation. Next month I will pay another $65. “ The monthly water fee is minor in the Tijuana area. This is not potable water. “I am thinking next about my “bano”(toilet).” I do not know how she will manage that feat.

She will.

“I tried to call you one night but there was no answer. I get lonely and sad when you and Marie do not visit me.” You may call anytime, Maria. “When are you both coming to visit me again? “ Soon, but not till Christmas.

113

DAVID ROWNTREE She was readying to go to the border. We did not want to overstay our visit. During the holiday season, Maria earns more from the passing cars. Sunday in that downpour of rain, she managed $20.

With Jim’s gift, it was a good day.

We all hugged and say our goodbyes. John promised to feel better on his next visit. We love you, Maria.Very much! “Igualmente, David, igualmente, Juan!”

114

Our Lifelong Love Affair

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I

ndeed it is. Last Sunday this time we were in the deluge at Mariano Matamoros. Today, the sun is out and 11 turkeys are being roasted in the Tijuana area. I could almost smell

the auroma when talking with several families today. 18 families received food, turkeys, and treats. Five special families shared money donations from our friend’s charitable group. 30 plus generous friends made this Christmas a happy one in Mexico. Our seventh annual food collection was as always, a success.

Mario, our most reliable friend, will be playing chef today. He loves to work in the kitchen. Roast, bake, fry, whatever. Mario is the man who went to New York City last winter to work in a restaurant for several weeks. He endured much, living in one room and walking the streets to work in that terrible City winter. Why? Mario and his wife Lulu have a son who wants to finish studying for his MD. A daughter, Berenice, just finishing her master’s in chemistry and biology. Montserrat, in her last year of high school.

You know she will go to the university next year. Christopher, junior high. Danny, starting kinder next fall. Do you see a good investment here?

Paricia Chavez. You just read about it. Her escape from an abusive, macho husband. It is a long trip from Mexico City to Tijuana, along with four children. Patricia is a production line supervisor at a Sony plant. That sounds important. It Just means she earns in n $80-90 per week bracket. And, she gets to work 12 hours every Saturday! Another solid investment.

Prisciliana. Abandoned by her husband and left with six kids.

Your loss Felipe; your loss. Six wonderful kids who love their mother and help her in every way. Prisciliana never went to school.

Yet, she taught herself to read. Her kids all read and write. Who is 115

DAVID ROWNTREE the first to call and wish a Merry Christmas and thank us for the gifts? Prisciliana. Substance. Quality. Good investment.

Don Nacho, the community elder. Still working in construction.

Still struggling through the Tijuana winters. They are hard on Nacho. Rosa Orozco and her husband, raising two fine children.

Cuca, working in San Diego four days a week to help her ailing father, Jesse. I could go on and on. You get the picture.

Maria Martinez Gomez, Maria. I say no more.

We are fortune ones, John. We are fortune ones. Note: John Sullivan, our dear friend since 1970, died on Christmas day in the year 2000.

116

Our Lifelong Love Affair

KARINA AND MARIA

18 January

W

ould anyone believe what happened to our favorite patients? Within one week, Maria fell while washing clothes. She sports a lump on her head

and a beautiful black eye. Karina did not fare so well. While at home her brace broke and could not be used. Walking without it, she fell and broke a bone in her knee. Three days in the dreaded government hospital, no visit­ors, poor food, and all the other noncomforts associated with Mexican hospitals. She is back home now with a plaster cast on her leg. Today, Marge spent hours on the phone with Shriner making arrangements for Karina to return to that hospital. I say, return because she dropped out of the program a few years ago after missing several doctor appointments. In less than two months she will be too old to receive treatment at Shriners. This is her last chance at this wonderful facility. We pray that she takes this opportunity even though she has proven unreliable in the past. Through Marge’s efforts, Karina has an appointment at Shriners for Thursday, Jan22. Our good friend Alan Pryor, together with the help of Maria Mojica, the INS coordinator at Shriners, worked another miracle for us.

Who hit you, Maria? “No, no, I was not hit by anyone. I fell in the back while washing. It looked worse before. I was going to Guadalajara to find birth and death dates of my parents.The government officials said it was necessary in order to buy my lot.

Now they tell me it is not necessary”.” These government parasites are truly taking advantage of this poor, crippled girl. “Wednesday, I am going back to the land office to ask for more help in this 117

DAVID ROWNTREE matter·” Will it ever end for her? Marge asked Maria about the trip to Guadalajara.” It costs $175.00, round trip by bus. Three days going and three days to return.” Marge was shocked by the ordeal that Maria was spared. If you ever have to make that trip, you must go by plane. You have the money in your “bank.” “Ok Magie, I will do as you say.”

We stopped at Maria’s first on the way to Mariano and lunch at Elva’s house. Maria was preparing for her day at the border. “What a miracle that you came to visit me!” It has been so long, [3 weeks], I missed you and Magie very much.” As if we did not miss her! Her life is so confining with hardly any adult friends. She cherishes every minute we spend in her room.

We had good news for Maria. Alan is coming down to her room this Saturday to measure her for the braces. We’re to meet at Ihop, have to breakfast and then go over to Maria’s. Neither will be too shocked by her circumstances. Alan goes down to Mexico constantly with their clinics, and his wife comes from a small Mexican village. “Do not worry David, l will not be embarrassed by these people.” Indeed she will not. Her room will be as clean as possible, the boys will be scrubbed to shine. Maria will present her usual impeccable self.” Do not bring me any more things until March. I have much to sell. “Ok, how about the candy we received from Ralph’s? Two bags to sell? “Ok, David.” She was preparing for her day at the “ linea “ and we were late getting to Elva’s. We hugged and said our goodbyes and were off.

It has been many months since we sat at Elva’s table. Karina’s mother is one of our oldest friends. A wonderful cook, generous to a fault, but sadly lacking in many parental skills. After the Carter project blitz had finished, I spent most Saturdays at Mariano helping to finish the houses. During those months we met many of the people with whom we have become so close. I remember seeing Karina each week standing at her door, crutches supporting 118

Our Lifelong Love Affair her weight, watching the others working on the various houses.

Her entire life on those crutches. What can we do about her condition? That was the inning of a long search on both sides of the border looking for help for her. Shriners solved all that. It was hard on her with the several casts bending her leg straight. The pain was great. We know; she stayed with us after the operation.

Elva is a fine hostess. She has been to our house many times and I think she has picked up some pointers on how to set a table and entertain. Our meal was excellent as usual. She made Marge’s favorite red rice dish, tasty shredded pork, salad, avocado, and her great salsa. Karina has followed her mother’s knack for cooking.

On our last visit with Elva, she introduced us to her friend, Jesus.

How excited she was! He wants to get married. What a nice man.

He has fixed up the house and the place is cleaner than it has been in years. She definitely needs direction. Marge remarked later that he looks like Cesar Romero. He does! He works at a local supermarket and she met him there. Go for it, Elva! This guy looks like a rare find. She is hesitant. She has been a widow for many years. It is a big decision. Stay tuned for the next installment. ‘’After our visit with Elva, we made our way over to Leonila ‘s house, stopping on the way to talk with Prisciliana, Mario, and don Nacho and his wife, Esther. Prisciliana’s son Pollo, had cut down a large tree in their front yard and had made a table on the stump. What a great idea! The gang meets there, plays cards, dominos, and whatever. These are kids, adults really, who have great fun at this house; a real meeting place. No problems, ever, just lots of good fun. Prisciliana has done a wonderful job with her children. Poor don Nacho, usually alone at his house. Today was different, several grandchildren were down from L.A. He is a picture, sitting with all the kids gathered around. Today he is feeling well, thank God. Nacho was a “maestro”, a teacher on the Carter project; a veritable jack of all trades. He has done it all. The 119

DAVID ROWNTREE volunteers loved him and his way of showing how things are done.

The days are still short. We had to see Karina before the darkness came.

Karina lives with her grandmother, Leonila, Elva’s mother.

Some family problem brought her over there. It was better all around, with more discipline for a young girl. In some ways, she is like her mother, very low-key, and tends to let things slide.

Highly intelligent but with no ambition for the school. How many times we have said, “no more help for her, let her make her own arrangements with Shriners.” It was the same story with the school. What lengths did we go to in getting her back in school and that failed after one year? These people, we just cannot let go. Anyway, we still love her and will do what we can. Karina was very quiet, almost embarrassed by our visit. No doubt thinking of the past missed trips to Shriners. This is your last chance.do not miss this appointment. The brace costs over one thousand dollars.

That got her attention. “No, David, I will be there. “Promise?” Yes, I promise you. “She has little choice. No brace, no work in the factory. Do you have any crutches?” No, I do not know where to get any. “Maria would have crutches the same day if she were in that situation. I have one of her old ones, signed and hanging in my office. She does not have the other. Two days later I brought down a pair I had from Joe Guth. At least we got something out of him. A new wheelchair for Maria, and these crutches. See what I mean? To the rescue again. Thursday, we walked on eggs all day worrying if they made the trip. Wednesday night Elva called.” I do not know how we will get to the border.”. No, no, I’m not getting into that situation. Call Esmeralda, her niece, and call a neighbor.

Call someone. And, bring money enough for the bus, there is no room for you in the Shriner’s van. Moore moaning; groaning.

This is the last chance. Don’t miss it! Thursday afternoon, I asked Marge to call and see if they made it. They did!

120

Our Lifelong Love Affair Our next event that week went much easier. Saturday morning Alan and his wife, Elvia, were waiting for us at Ihop.” l was not sure if I said 9 am or l0 am. So we got there at 9. “We feel good about Alan. On his day off he drives down from Whittier to measure Maria for braces. We arrived at Maria’s room at 11 am. She was waiting outside her door. When she has company she always waits outside. She took to Alan and Elvia immediately. They have two children the same age as Maria. They made nothing of her surroundings. The boys came in and greeted the two. Javier hung back a bit and was prompted by his mother to greet these two new people. He did. In less than one hour Alan had finished. Very exact and very thorough. Maria was ready for her day at the border so we did not stay long. She has a way of telling one that she is busy or has something scheduled. Washing, cleaning, the border, whatever. A one-word phrase, ok?” It took me a while but I finally realized what she meant by “ok?” It was her polite way of excusing herself. The lady never ceases to amaze us. I may use the words, “crippled” or “ handicapped “ in this story, but Maria is far from either. Independent, proud, survivalist, better describes her. Alan said that the braces should take two weeks to complete. As I write this chapter it is two weeks and one day. Not to worry yet.

Humboldt Ave. leads to the Otay border. A group of new homes is being built on Humboldt. We stopped to see them. 12 two-story houses in this little area. Ten have sold already. The salesman took us through one. Concrete block walls, stucco outside, plaster inside. Very well built. 1500sqft, two bedrooms, 21/ 2 baths,2 car carport. Who can afford such homes priced at $98,000, on the high end? Rich Mexicans would not want to live near such a busy road.

For high-salary Mexicans, working in the US would be perfect. We talked with the salesman. Only 2 story homes. Out of the question for Maria. “However, our company will build a house any place you 121

DAVID ROWNTREE wish.” I’ll bring you the plans and specs for an estimate. We need another price for comparison.

Jan.8 Our date for lunch with Sra. Maria Elena Davalos, “la doctora’’, was rained out today. The storms have been fierce. Cruel flooding and mudslides have killed 14 people in the Tijuana area. The Carter project neighbors call her doctora because she once studied to become a medical doctor. She was forced to abandon her studies when the cost became too great. I have seen her old textbooks. In those days French was the language used to study medicine. She and her two daughters, Diana and Maria Elena are fine cultured people.

Elena’s daughter. Jackie, was one of our kids to go up to Shriners.

Her foot problem was minor but she is in the program if anything should arise. They all have moved out of the area. The terrible roads were just too much for them. Today, the road to Mariano, la ruta Hidalgo, is a virtual lake. Remember at Christmas when Jim and I made the trip with the food and turkeys? It was bad that day with the rain and mud and stranded vehicles. Compared to last week’s storms, it was a drive in the desert. If only the government would pave that last 3/4 mile of the road to the homes! Doctora lives in a better area now, with paved roads. We rescheduled our luncheon date to March 15.

Tomorrow Marge and I hope to go down and see Maria. We have no big news for her, Marge wants to wait for one more week before calling Alan. Nevertheless, it is time to check in with her and see how she fared during the rains. She may have news about her lot and the contractor who was going to look at our plans for an estimate. I have more candy for her to sell and John Sullivan sent her a $20 gift. John is feeling better since his visit to her room at Christmas. He surely was profoundly impressed by Maria. Still 122

Our Lifelong Love Affair thinking about her ability to survive under such drastic living conditions. I believe her Prayers for his health have been answered.

10 Feb As we made our way south to Maria’s room, it was hard to believe that one week ago the rains were punishing everyone on both sides of the border. Tijuana suffers much more due to the lack of any amount of infrastructure. Thankfully, Maria lives in a flat area with storm drains. Our friends in Mariano are all becoming sailors. I know the greeting by heart, “Que milagro, David, Magie, vino? “ It is no miracle, we missed you, and yes, Magie came. “ It has been a long time since you visited me.” I know, 17 days! When alone for so much of the time Maria becomes sad. Fortunately, she has a friend, Josefina, who visits her regularly. Josefina’s son and Manuel go to school together.

Maria still has no information about her lot. She keeps going to the gov. office and they keep giving her no advice and no help.

We desperately need someone with the know-how to help her. The dentists and priests are no help at all. Now Maria wants to put it in the toilet in her room. This is another move in assuring the gov. that she is serious about purchasing the land. It will be expensive but she is determined. Thank God for our friends who have helped her realize better-living conditions. The toilet will be out­side in the rear of her room.

Maria asked about Karina and her injured leg. I told her that after Karina has her new brace the three of us are going to lunch at Karina’s. It is her payment for all that Marge and I did to get her that appointment. Maria loves to get out and meet people. She still does not like Mariano. If we did not have our friends there. I would not be dragged to the place. It does have its attraction though, due to the explosive expansion taking place in that valley. Hugh 123

DAVID ROWNTREE assembly plants have been built in the area and hundreds of small family businesses are sprouting up all over this valley. Thousands of people not only live in El Florido but work there also. The plant owners usually build roads nearby to furnish better access to the worksite. Samsung and Hitashi are two examples of this.

Next week uncle John is coming to visit us and he wants to visit you. Do you remember him, the one who bought the chairs?

Magie will call you the night before we come down. Ok? “Oh yes, ha also has given me many gifts of money. I will be happy to meet him and I will paint my face and look pretty.” You always look pretty to Magie and me.” No, today I am just a dirty, ugly Indian. “ We argued with her and refused to let her demean herself. We must let her know ahead of time so she can prepare things; a very proud lady, indeed. Before we left I took some pictures of Maria at her entrance. I explained that we need photos to go along with the letter when we ask for money for her house. She understood.

We hugged and kissed her goodbye

and as we drove off,

she stood in her doorway and threw kisses.

When we were composing the letter that will be sent out for donations for Maria’s house, the number of children who went up to Shriners for treatment came up. How many were there?

Nine or ten. We came up with the number ten. Who are these kids?

Rosa Karina - the first with her crippled leg Our neighbor’s grandson-born without one hand.

Luis Enrique- born with a twisted foot Maria de la Luz, Lucy-spina bifida Oscar Levanat- foot problems Reynaldo- a broken leg that was not set right Nancy Moreno- minor foot problems David Moreno- a broken leg not set right Jacqueline- foot problems 124

Our Lifelong Love Affair Sergio Estrada- born with one leg shorter than the other Karina has a March 5 appointment. Shriners will remove the cast and they feel that she will not need another operation. Then she can begin the brace fittings with Alan Pryor.

Luis Enrique will have a three-year appointment on 11 May. Shriners wants to check him again before he becomes 18.

Marge called Alan today, 17 Feb. If he does not call by Friday, Marge is to call him. The braces will be finished very soon. It will be 10 months on February 25.

Jim talked with Dr. Alex del Campo today. He wants Maria to call him and he will help her with the land problems. He has connections in Tijuana; we need this type of help.

Christina, Mario, and Lulu are supposed to come this weekend for dinner and the night. With more rain coming, it will be very hard for them to get out of Mariano. The Carter community people are ok but the roads are an impassable sea of mud and water. If anyone can make the trip. Mario will.

We hoped that John would get to meet Maria. They are busy so it doesn’t look promising. I will have to get down to see her soon so she can call Alex del Campo. We had written the dentists off several months ago. Too soon perhaps. Yesterday, Jim gave each dentist a copy of our finished letter. We keep trying. We definitely need help with the pictorial brochure. This will go with the letter.

125

DAVID ROWNTREE

10 MONTHS 4 DAYS

21 February

I

t has been a very long and often frustrating wait for Marge and me. Next Sunday Maria will finally receive her braces.

Marge called Alan this morning and he said they will be

ready Sunday. What wonderful news for Maria! He will send in the immigration letter and we will go up to his house in Whittier.

Marge has been floating around the kitchen all day, preparing for Christina, Lulu, and Mario’s visit for dinner tonight. Mario and Lulu have been here before and Christina many times. They are wonderful, warm friends.

I made a quick trip to #35 to give the news to Maria. She was delighted, relieved, thankful, and any other words to describe her happiness. No tears but deep breaths.” I told Magie not to worry and to have faith. I have been waiting 7 years for new braces. I knew that someday… and you too, David, you worry too much about me.” How can we not worry, you are like a daughter? I explained our schedule to her. “I will be ready when you come, I will bring another dress and my “ pintura.”, (cosmetics).” You are always ready for all your appoint­ments. The boys were very happy to hear their mother’s news. Please, Maria, do not fall this week. Be careful. “Oh no, I will not fall, I will be careful.” And, do not go out in the back to wash! Your eye and cuts are all healed.” It was very muddy when I went back to wash that day. I was trying to carry the water jug and slipped. Not only did I have the cuts and bruised eyes, but I was covered with mud all and alone. I cried for dona Emilia and she came to help me. My dress, my hair, everything, was muddy. The broken end of one brace stuck in the mud and down I went. “I had 126

Our Lifelong Love Affair to fight back my tears. Maria’s life sounds like a survival course.

“I have to be strong, my boys need me. I have that respon­sibility.”

Some day those two boys will take the best care of their mother.

They have a great love and respect for her. I see it on their faces.

I told Maria about the dentist and his wish that she call hirn.

She is doubtful about his sincerity as am I. “I cannot get anywhere with the government. No help or answers. “We need this man’s help desperately. Will you be able to get someone to watch the boys this weekend? ‘Oh yes, that is not a problem.”With new braces, a visit with Meg and Dak, and two nights at her Rancho Bernado home; Maria will have happy dreams this week.

“I get so lonely sometimes and miss you and Maggie.” You may call us, Maria. Please call.

It has been a funfilled busy Saturday. While Marge prepared for our visitors from Mariano. I made a quick trip to give Maria the news.

Mario, Lulu, and Christina arrived shortly before seven pm. They decided not to stay the night because of the predicted rain. The three have been here before and this time was no different. These people and their families are among our very favorites. Christina’s English is good, Mario’s is slightly less, and Lulu has none. It made no difference last night nor any other time. Drinks were served and conversation was plentiful. They are as interested in us and our customs as we are in theirs. We talked about government living conditions, buying food and clothing in the US instead of Mexico. We talked about their children and ours. Their youngest girl is finishing high school in August and would like to come up to San Diego and live with a family for several months in order to learn English. We will research that subject. Montserrat is a fine, ambitious young lady. She will begin her studies in January, eventually hoping to become an orthodontist. Can you believe that?

Her sister, Berenice, took her graduate studies entrance exam this 127

DAVID ROWNTREE past week. She will be working toward a master’s in chemistry and biology. I can believe it, these are two smart girls.

Mario spent much of the time in the kitchen, picking Marge’s brain on the tricks of the culinary art. He is very interested in cooking, and, in fact, teaches cooking part-time. He mixed the drinks and cooked the baby-back pork ribs. He also is a classical music fan and a student of the French Impressionist. No “macho” this man, just a fine family man. Lulu jokes and laughs about her lack of cooking skills. “Mario jokes that I cannot heat the water for coffee.” Lulu nevertheless, is a well-educated professional nurse.

She plans on having her own business as a practical nurse. Lulu is in her early forties and can retire soon after reaching 25 years at the hospital. Her mother, Christina, likewise will retire in two years from the factory. Then she will start her own home business. For this reason, Christina is busy fixing her home. She has one of the best-decorated homes in the community. “David, would you please take a picture of the dinner table, I want to show it to my class?

Also, a photo of the beautiful birthday cake Marge made.” As usual, the table was arranged to perfection. Barbequed pork ribs, baked rice, cabbage cole slaw, homemade cheese bread, and raw vegetables rounded out the menu. Again, Mario was there to serve the dry white wine. Towel on the arm and all! Later the beautiful flower decor as whipped cream cake was served with coffee. The men did not retire to the drawing-room for cigars and brandy as was the custom in past ages. Instead, we all enjoyed the brandy together.

The conversations would have gone on for hours except that Christina was growing tired after her very long day. She awoke at 4:30 am to go to the plant. She had to face that terrible one-mile walk in the water and mud from her house to the “curva”, the bend in the paved road at Mother Teresa’s church. Everyone must make that walk these days. The buses and taxis cannot get through the mess. When Christina arrived late for work, her supervisor wanted 128

Our Lifelong Love Affair to deduct her pay. Fortunately, the other boss said, “ no, no, not in this weather to punish the workers’’. Christina’s intelligence and personality have lent her to a job in the plant office. Her knowledge of English helped also. After four hours of great company, our friends left for Mariano. The rest of that beautiful cake and several bags of oranges and grapefruit accompanied them on their trip back. Did I mention the purpose of all this fun and entertainment?

Christina celebrated her birthday on February 11. Not a world event as world events go but we made a big deal out of her special day and felt that their lives were made a little bit better for one day.

Our next big event will be Saturday when Maria comes up for her visit and braces. When we see that little Indian girl from Guadalajara taking her first steps on those new braces, a long journey will come to an end. Though our journal is approaching one hundred pages we will continue Maria’s story. Her life is too fascinating and inspirational not to put it in writing. Then, Marge and I, Maria, Manuel, and Javier, will begin another quest, the biggest of their lives.

2 March Saturday came and went and still no braces. Our unreliable friends at Bi-national did not send us the INS letter. As a result, Maria could not enter the country. Marge called Alan and he will come down next Sunday with the braces.???? After all the anticipation of Maria’s trip up and meeting Meg and Dak. We both were down in the dumps. I’m sure that Maria was deeply disappointed also. So, when Marge suggested that we go down Sunday and take Maria to lunch, I jumped at the suggestion. Marge called our good friend Luz Maria and told her the story. Luz gladly will tell Maria the plans. Late Saturday night Maria called us. She was confused by all these changes. I told her to put on a pretty new 129

DAVID ROWNTREE dress and be ready Sunday at noon. “Are we going over to the other side for lunch? “No, my friend, this time you will read the menu for Magie and me.

As usual, Maria was ready and waiting when we arrived. She was wearing the pretty red dress the boys gave her for her birthday.

She had a sad look on her face and when I asked what was the matter, she showed me a 12” long piece of metal. It was part of one of the braces. Not only had it snapped off but the knee joint was broken. How much longer does this lady have to wait? She was sitting on her bed, willing to proceed but doubtful that she could manage. Wait. I ran to the car and brought a roll of duct tape back.

We taped those guys round and round and off we went to our luncheon. Our dentist had told us about a good restaurant near the bull ring. I did not get lost but could not find the place. At the very point of returning Marge found it. During the ride, Maria was very quiet. She was looking at colonias she had never seen before.

Beautiful houses rimming the hilltops. Marge was impressed also.

I had to watch the road. Everything is very green in Tijuana. El Nino saw to that.

As we approached the restaurant I saw several flights of stairs and no ramps. No such thing as a disability law in Mexico. I called a few of the waiters for help and they gladly carried Maria to the main floor. We wheeled over to a table looking out at the pool and settled in for an enjoyable afternoon. Maria was terribly ashamed because she had to be helped in such away. Her dark face was actually flushed.” I am so embarrassed, David, I want to hide my face. No, no, Maria, please, it is ok, the men were happy to help.

Look how much attention we are receiving. Here you are with two “ important gringos’’, at a fancy restaurant. She overcame her shame and quickly became her usual confident self. We ordered drinks, chatted as always, and took in the scenery about us. The feeling was similar to that of Seaport Village, quiet, few patrons, 130

Our Lifelong Love Affair and much conversation.” David, you look so elegant, long trousers, dress shoes, and a new shirt, right?” Yes, and I gave all the credit to Magie. Our friends in Mexico seldom see me without shorts and sneaks. This was a big deal for Maria. “ Magie, you look so elegant also, are your clothes new also? “No, several years old but welltaken care.” I also have clothes many years old and I take good care of them. “ How true! Both ladies are alike in many ways and have bonded into a warm solid relationship.

“I have not called the dentist yet because of the rain and mud in front of my room. I could not leave. This week I will call him. “We’ll see, I have doubts about this. Maybe??? He has seen her life, how can he not do something?

“David, your last visit to my room I did not invite you to visit.

I was worried that you may be angry with me. Josefina was in the room and I did not want to talk in front of her. She is very nosey and even asks for fruit and food. I keep telling her that these things are for my boys. You were not mad at me?” Of course not.

On February 10, Josefina was in Maria’s room when Marge and l arrived. It was an uncomfortable situation with her there and the three of us trying to talk about Maria’s business. She remained so we cut short our visit.

Now, in the quiet of the restaurant. Maria revealed the story behind Josefina’s visits. It nearly drove Marge out of the restaurant.

“Josefina’s son goes to school with Manuel. She has five other older children. Josefina’s god is money. The subject is always on her mind and tongue. Her husband earns $300 each week and they own 5 houses in Tijuana in southern Mexico. $300 per week is a huge income in Mexico. Yet, she has never offered to help our family. I will not ask for help. “Where does her husband work?

For government, right?” Yes, that’s true. “ They know how you live and have never offered help with securing your lot? “ Never.” It is beyond our comprehension that people who have so much refuse 131

DAVID ROWNTREE to help those with so little. And then have the nerve to beg from Maria! Our Mexican friends still wonder why we maintain our strong friendships while their own

well-off countrymen ignore

their plight. I believe that our friend John had the best answer for this situation; “ I presume God is going to straighten all of this out eventually’. “ Marge decided that the next time we encounter Josefina at Maria’s room we will take her for a walk around the neighborhood. Our conversations are very important to Maria, but Marge feels that escaping that room is equally important.

The restaurant specializes in Poblano-style food. We all ordered fish and it was very good. The owner, Roberto, was extremely cordial and sent us a dish of nopales (cactus) type salad, on the house, and later, a cream, coconut, Kahlua after-dinner drink.

It was too sweet for Marge and me and Maria could not drink it because of the alcohol. The service continued to be excellent Roberto told us that his son runs their LaJolla restaurant. We will be sure to look him up.

The restaurant was beginning to get busy and yet we were in no hurry to leave. The three of us were enjoying the day and our conversation. I could tell that Maria was feeling quite important.

Her very first time in such a fancy restaurant in Mexico with two important-looking Americans. (Her choice of words). We felt the same in her company.

We finally left before it was time for dinner. A few hours away from that dark, cold room did Maria well. Can you imagine being in that room five days a week without a break? During the rainy season, even the door cannot be opened.” Please, David and Magie, visit me every two weeks. I get so lonely when I do not talk with you. “We shall, Maria, that is a promise. Those two rascals of hers were waiting when we arrived at the room. They get silly and show off when we are there. As we were leaving, Marge hugged Maria so long that Manuel began to giggle. Two women hugging.

132

Our Lifelong Love Affair After I kissed her goodbye, Manuel went over and kissed her also.

Do you love your mother, Manuel? “Yes, I do.” We love her also, very much.

Sunday, March 8.

Our main destination today was Patricia’s house in El Lago to celebrate her birthday. Since Marge’s birthday is March fifth and Patricia’s is March seventeenth, we have celebrated together for the past several years.

Our first event on Sunday was to meet Alan at Ihop at 9:00 am. We waited almost two hours before acknowledging that he was not coming with the braces. Shades of Felix! We were both in tears as we gave Maria the news. “Please, Magie, do not feel bad. It is alright, I can wait for more. This is life. You have brought me so much, I can wait.” Her attitude strengthened us. She was dressed and wearing pretty blue stockings. Any disappointment she may have had was hidden. She was more concerned about our feelings.

I told Maria about our date with Patricia and she urged us not to be late. With little hope in my voice, I told her that I would call Alan and try to find out the problem. It was a sad short ride from Maria’s room to Patricia’s apartment.

Marge had fixed a lovely luncheon for the birthday lady and her kids. Only Christian was not home; working at Samsung. He was at the airport but got caught in a pre­electian cut-back. He hopes to return after the election. We piled up the three flights with fresh roasted sliced turkey, salad greens, potato salad, homemade rolls, wine, peanuts, and, of course, the homemade chocolate cake.

Patricia has been dieting and already has lost ten kilos, twentytwo pounds. We have been encouraging her in this project.

However, today my friend, forget the diet. Tomorrow at Sony you can go back to salads, yogurt, and water. She gave us no argument.

133

DAVID ROWNTREE Patricia’s children have grown so much in the years we have known them. Christian, the eldest is a serious wonderful young man; his mother’s biggest supporter. Luis Enrique, the easy-going romantic of the family, still struggling to over c­ ome to his lifelong physical affliction. Luis is studying English, accounting, and computers. He is a charmer. Jorge, the business-oriented one, has been working in a local supermarket, learning all aspects of the business. At present, he is learning how to be a butcher. Most of the markets in Tijuana still cut their own meat and wrap it in the old style of white paper. No fancy machines here to cut everything square and wrap it in plastic.

During the summer of 1990, while finishing the Carter project, Jorge used to come over and help the volunteers every Saturday. I met him then and never realized our friendship would amount to what it has.

Paty showed great promise at an early age but is now a confused and very troubled young lady. A very sad sit­uation that has taken a heavy toll on the family.

The adults shared the wine while the children drank soda. We all snacked on peanuts and chips and had lots of laughs. Hopefully, it kept Patricia’s mind from her problems for a few hours. As usual, the food was a big hit with all and the cake soon took center stage. Afterward, we watched a movie Jorge brought home, “Liar, liar.” It was in English with Spanish subtitles. Silly but fun for all. We love Patricia and her family. We know her mother and father, grandmother and uncle. She remains a major jewel in our crown of Mexican friends.

It had been a long day, both happy and disappointing. It was almost dark when we reached the Otay border. Maria had left her spot between the cars.

March 12 Marge’s bothersome toothache brought us to Tijuana again today. Dr. Jorge did some adjusting on her bridge and sent her 134

Our Lifelong Love Affair across the street to another specialist for further consultation. Dr. Rocio Pizzaro, is perhaps thirty years old, very pretty, and speaks perfect English. Marge was very impressed with her knowledge and professional manner. She has another appointment in April.

During our friendship with Maria, we met several highly educated, personable professionals. Some portray little or no interest in the lives of our less fortunate friends in Mariano and elsewhere. Others react with great interest and just as quickly lose that intensity. Any hint of assistance from either of us goes ignored. We need their help but receive none.

After Marge’s dental business was taken care of we took the airport road back and stopped at #35 Guillermo Prieto. Maria welcomed our company, and since it was a warm sunny day, we took our chat outside. “Oh, Magie, I am happy about your visit.

I have nothing to do now, later I will wash my hair. Tomorrow Manuel will take me to the “ linea “ for the day. After school, the boys will come and bring me home. “ We will not stay too long if you have things to do. “No, no, let us visit as long as you wish.” I barely mentioned the braces or rather the lack of the braces. What more can we say? ‘’l have been sick, last night and this morning.

My stomach is very upset.” What happened, my friend? “Last night I ate “frijoles caldo”, (these are pinto beans cooked in water) and I have been bothered since. “ I remembered this same thing that happened several months ago. Mexicans love beans and they make up a large part of the diet. Maria’s diet is so limited and she just could not help herself. We both scolded her in a nice way. Marge then suggested that she eat saltines today and tomorrow and drink coke. Marge wanted to buy her some cola but she ref used the offer.”I have some apple juice, is that ok? “ Yes, apple juice will do the trick. Later I thought, the poor lady has such a very limited diet as it is and must stay away from tortillas, because of their fat content, and now the beans. Marge is very faithful in bringing 135

DAVID ROWNTREE Maria salad greens, chicken breasts when on sale, and other treats, and I bring down donated fruits when in season. Na vel oranges and tangerines are in season now and I have been loading up Maria’s family with these. Sunday I will bring you more fruit before we visit “ La doctora ‘, another good friend from Mariano. Please call the dentist about your lot. “Yes, I promise to call him. “

March 15 The Ides of March may have been unlucky for Caesar but for Marge and me it was a beautiful sunny day traveling south again. We had an invitation for lunch with another special family.

Maria had already left for the border when we swung by #35 so I left several bags of fruit in the old car that sits in her drive. I’ve mentioned before that the car belongs to her neighbor and acts as security for her room since her doer offers no protection.

Maria Elena Nava, “la doctora”, and her family have moved since we last visited. She now lives in an older, urban area, with paved streets and sidewalks. For seven years they suffered from the muddy streets and clamor of Mariano Matamoros. Her two daughters and their families also left the area. I spoke of “doctora’’ before; she had studied for the medical profession until the money was not there for her to continue. She is retired and her daughter Diana and her husband live with her in a very nice very bright house about the same size as the Carter house.

They are happy there and it is a safer, better neighborhood. His other daughter, named Maria Elena also, lives close by with her three kids and husband. Maria Elena was busy in the kitchen when we arrived, preparing the luncheon. The two girls are very intelligent and understand English quite well. Maria can speak a little English and the others none. Even though I lack a great deal in my Spanish, we are still able to have good conversations and 136

Our Lifelong Love Affair share many laughs and ideas with our friends and build on our friendships. To sit at their table and share their food and ideas is a wonderful experience for both Marge and me.

I had met “doctora” and Maria Elena several years ago when Habitat was building fifty homes in Matamoros Norte. Maria’s little girl, Jaqueline, only a baby at the time, was having problems with her feet. We helped her get up to Shriners and fortunately, it was a situation that she outgrew. Shriners has been a wonderful conduit for the kids receiving help and for us meeting more families.

We brought our usual wine and salted peanuts and talked about her new house and how convenient it was to the stores and major roads. They are very close to the road called, “Gato Bronco,” which goes west toward Otay Mesa, near Maria’s neighborhood.

It is also a direct route from Mariano to Otay. Maria Elena soon served us our lunch and then the others. She remembered from our last visit that we do not like to eat alone. Some of our friends try to serve us first and then eat later. Maria had prepared a very tasty meal; roasted smoked pork, mashed potatoes, salads, green olives, corn, and flour tortillas.

The high point of the meal was the desert. Maria Elena made, or rather was making a Lenten specialty when we arrived.

It consisted of small slices of toasted bread, a raw sugar sauce, raisins, nuts, prunes, dates, and maybe more. I’ve lost track. She baked the whole mixture and served it warm. It was excellent. lt was a very nice visit for all of us. Diana watched her sister the whole time she was preparing the meal. Diana is 21 years old, seems much younger, and yet is very intelligent. The two girls and Alejandro are studying for their high school diploma. A home study type of course. Since the three ladies have passports, we have invited them to come to RB for a weekend. I wondered about Lucio, Maria’s husband, and if he would allow her to make the 137

DAVID ROWNTREE trip. She assured us that there would be no problem. At that time I suppose Diana will watch Marge do her magic in the kitchen. It was late afternoon when we said our goodbyes and headed back to the border.

Saturday. 21 March.

While waiting for Alan and the braces we have been working on the pictorial brochure that will accompany our request letter. The letter has been ready for several weeks, and the brochure is still in the planning stage. I knew that a picture of Maria at the “ linea” was a must. How we will accomplish this task was another thing.

Driving past Maria would not work and one cannot stop in the line of cars. Dave’s phone call pushed me to a decision. He called to tell us that the graphic design department head at Chapman will do all the artwork necessary for the brochure. Gratis! We must have that photo of Maria. I decided to drive to Otay, park on the US side, and walk over to where Maria sits between the cars. She had told me that she did not like this idea; too embarrassing for her. I convinced her that it was absolutely necessary to have the photo. She relented.

I saw her head tip to the side when she spotted me walking toward the wheelchair. Her picture day had arrived. I took several shots and hoped that one would turn out well. After chatting with her for a few minutes, I could see she was embarrassed by my presence, I hurried back to SD and a quick photoshop. The photography gods were on our side this day, the shots turned out great! We had our perfect picture of Maria at the linea, complete with a beautiful smile, a paper cup for donations, and her trademark umbrella.

138

Our Lifelong Love Affair

THE FALL

27 March

W

e were to meet Maria in her room at 4:00 today.

Due to the rains, detours, and Friday traffic, it was 5:00 when we arrived at #35. As usual, she was

nonpulsed and welcomed us enthusiastically. There would be no chatting outside today. It was raining and her lot was a sea of mud.

While we settled ourselves Manuel ran to get Antonio, “El Indio’’, as he is called. He is the contractor who is figuring another price on the house. He has had the plans for two weeks and today will have information for us.

Look who came to visit you, Maria. “Oh, my doll Josefina. Why did you bring her, it is much safer for her at your house? “ Josefina told us that she misses you very much and I wanted to visit you. “ She is so pretty, I love my doll. Thank you for her visit. “ Would you like her to stay here for the next visit? “No, no, she is better with you. My birds might chew on her. Look at the box and how “Peri” has already eaten away at it.” Those birds of hers are certainly mischievous. Peri the hen is sitting on two eggs. She started with four but two were broken by Jose Luis, her large parrot. While we were talking, he has been swinging from his cage like a mad man, (mad bird)? He is jealous of us and always acts crazy when we visit.

Look? Jose fell out of his cage! Maria quickly picked him up and kissed him. That silly Jose does not want to fly. “That is true. He hardly ever flies. “ What a family.

“El Indio” arrived shortly and Marge and I went outside to greet him. He impresses us as being a nice man. Maria and her boys’ father have great confidence in him. He is a doer, a worker, not just a 139

DAVID ROWNTREE talker like others we have met. We talked or rather I struggled over our conversation for several minutes attempting to understand just what he had included in his estimates. He did not include the doors and windows, the painting, and the countertops and cabinets. We need these also, Antonio.” Because the peso changes so often, the cost of wood will change day today. I can have a more or less figure for you next time. Ok?” Certainly. What price do you have today? “$15,000, and that includes all the concrete, the house, roof, and all except what we talked about.’’

Marge remained in the doorway as we talked. It was not a very nice night out. There was a commotion behind Marge and as she turned she saw Maria falling. Antonio and I rushed in to help her get up. As she struggled to her feet she called for her canes. Even with good braces, she cannot stand without their support. She was not hurt. Marge and I were more upset and worried than she.”I heard Jose Luis behind me and as I turned I lost my balance. I am so embarrassed.” This is the third fall that we know of. Several months ago she fell and cut her hand; next, she fell in the back while washing and banged her head and blackened her eye; now, this fall. Her left brace is broken in two places and is useless. You orthotists who promised your help. Where are you today while this girl lies on wet concrete, helpless? Do you ever wonder how she cooks and cleans and cares for her boys? Do you even care? I think not. She has been waiting without a word of complaint for 11 months and 4 days for her braces.

Antonio, do you know that her room will have to come down first? “ Yes, and so I plan to pour concrete in the back first and build her a temporary room until the house is ready. “What, a great idea! You have to include that in your cost also. “Yes, it is part of the $15k.” Smart man. He sounds like Maria’s kind of builder. We felt assured and desperate. Maria’s kind of builder. We felt assured as he departed.

140

Our Lifelong Love Affair I asked Maria if she would like company on Holy Thursday.

Some of the youth from San Rafael are going to prepare Easter baskets and an Easter dinner for the family. Marie, the youth group leader, likes the kids to take part in civic and charitable projects.

I did not mention the baskets and food. “Yes, I would like to meet more of the group again and the boys will be on vacation that week. “Do you remember what happened last year on that day? “ Oh yes, that was the day we received our new beds. It was such a happy day for my boys and me. Our first new beds. “ For Marge and me it was a wonderful day to remember.

“Thank you Magie for the chicken and the flowers you brought today. Please do not worry, I will be ok. “Do not go to the border tomorrow if it rains; she already has a cough due in large part to sitting in that damp room. That room is so demoralizing for Marge and me, yet, Maria and the boys accept it as their home. I was so happy to get in our car and turn on the heater. A heated room is an unknown experience for this family.

29 March The rain let up for a few hours today and so we decided to take the photos and a letter up to Meg and Dave. The sooner the design class received them the better. The rain continued IN San Diego, but in Orange, it was a beautiful sunny day. We also welcomed the chance to see the kids again. After looking for several months for a house, their efforts were rewarded and will be moving to another neighborhood in April. Everyone is very excited. Even Eunice and Boris, their two cats. With Dave and Meg and their peers, there is never a lapse of conversation and we are never out of the loop. Our visits are always enjoyable.

Dave was a big help before when we needed the letter condensed to one page. Today, he came up with some good ideas for the 141

DAVID ROWNTREE brochure. That old adage, “two heads are better than none’’, is certainly true. Meg added that she will work on the letter to add a logo or some type of artwork. Our group of two struggling with this idea and the braces for almost one year is most grateful for these reinforcements. I’ll not forget Mark and his contribution to the effort. During a recent conversation, he gave us some good advice regarding the printing of the brochure. Mark had spent many years in that business and he knows it well. Fortunately for Mark, he outgrew his former employers who resisted his every attempt to modernize and computerize their operations. Now he works for himself and is able to grow without the former restriction.

We feel confident that a good product will come out of the design department. Denise, the dept. head has a vast amount of experience with fundraisers and knows her way around this complicated field.

8 April We are very excited about tomorrow, Holy Thursday. I am taking some of the youth group to visit Maria. One of the girls called me to let me know they have been shopping for a new cage for Jose Luis. And, $240 was collected from the group! This organization has always come through and has always been reliable. Since my first trip to Tijuana in 1989, they have continually amazed Marge and me with their giving spirit. No small thanks to Marie C., their leader.

142

Our Lifelong Love Affair

HOLY THURSDAY

I

met the girls from the youth group at San Rafael. The three had done a great job of shopping for Maria and the boys.

Sarah and Shelly were making their first visit to Maria’s

room. Christina came down last summer to meet Maria. There were three large Easter baskets with candies, games for the boys, canned foods, a hairbrush for Maria, nuts, and dried fruits. The three did an excellent job in their selections. A large ham topped off the food and Marge’s tulip plant helped brighten up the room.

The girls gave Maria an envelope containing the balance of the donated money; $120. She is very grateful. “Oh, I am so emotional, I do not have the words to thank you. I have nothing to give in return.” Maria, our friendship, and your smile are enough for us.

As she did last summer, Maria told the girls about her life and her boys, who, incidentally, were in and out of the room like two little puppies. So bashful, their tongues were as tight as a drum. I kidded Maria about the two not having any tongues. She readily agreed and said that they would be talking about them at bedtime.

“How many children do you have in your family? “Two had one brother and one is an only child.” Smaller families are better these days, so much easier to raise children and send them to good schools. The Mexicans have so many children and so many do not go to school. “Remember, Maria is the youngest of thirteen and never went to school. She talked about her very favorite book, the bible, and its lessons on leading a good life. This poor, semi-literate Indian girl would have been a wonderful teacher; in fact, she is an inspirational teacher. Marge and I and the others who visit this dark, damp room, are always uplifted by her spirit and faith.

Finally, we were able to persuade the boys to go out and play frisbee with the girls. I realize that at ages 12 and 11 it is very hard 143

DAVID ROWNTREE for them to relate to 16 year old American girls. Maria knows and we know that they are very grateful for the love and attention they have received this past year. They have a family.

As usual, Maria was taken up with our chatting and fairly ignored all the material things she had received. There would be time for those later. Now she was interested in the girls and what they were all about.

Without question, the biggest gift at #35 Prieto was a new bird cage for Jose Luis. The girls knew that he needed a better cage and bought him this large, pratty, new home. Maria remarked that he will be able to stay outside now since this cage is very secure. Jose Luis was nonpulssed and continued to swing all over in his old cage; showing off for the girls. He is the ultimate actor. The two little parakeets were squealing all over the place, still expecting their chicks. It takes two months Maria says. Their cage is very dirty as Maria does not want to upset the eggs. She recently acquired two beautiful love birds in some sort of a barter deal. They are very quiet unlike the other three. Maria wanted to make lunch for the girls but they had already eaten. She kept asking me if I wanted to eat. I declined and commented on her very precarious condition with the braces. Her left leg is completely vulnerable to collapsing.

The brace is useless and if her knee bends she is on the way to another fall. She walks very little now and as a result, her body is suffering from lack of exercise. I would like those three orthotists to sit in that room for one day and see what this lady must do to survive. Given their past performances I doubt if it would make any dent in their feelings. Repeated calls and faxes to Alan have gone ignored. I doubt he has even made the braces. We must make a change very soon. “Please do not, worry about me. Tell Magie not to worry, I will be ok.” Does a parent not worry about their child in peril? We cannot turn off our feelings when we leave that room.

Maria has come into our lives and there she will remain.

144

Our Lifelong Love Affair We took lots of pictures with Maria and the boys and with me and with the girls. Denise, the graphic design professor wanted photos of Maria and the boys, and the girls need a remembrance of this day; another wonderful Holy Thursday at #35 Guillemo Prieto.

It was a quiet ride back to Rancho Bernardo. The three had their thoughts about today.”My father is with Fieldstone builder and he said that his company can help Maria with her house.” That is great, Shelley l will call him.

145

DAVID ROWNTREE

NUMBER FOUR

23 April

I

hesitate even mentioning the subject lest the whole thing comes crashing down again. Here goes anyway. We have found another orthotist. Some weeks back I read

about a church in Spring Valley that holds medical clinics in Tijuana, specifically, in Mariano Matamoros. Marge called the pastor and surprise, surprise, he knew of an orthotist! Carlos Valenzuela now becomes our fourth strike at obtaining braces for Maria. He is different from the others in that he returns phone calls. That is a plus. Marge explained to him up front that this will be a paid deal; no more of these empty-headed socalled volunteers. “It will cost in the one thousand dollar range.”

A good price at that. “ Do it, do it,” Marge pleased. I will send Maria to my associate in Tijuana and he can examine her before I come down to see her.” The money will come out of her infant building fund at San Rafael.

We all have heard of telephone trees and their function. Ours must look like a telephone vine. Marge and I and Carlos here in SD. Maria at # 35 without a phone, Pablo, the associate in Tijuana. Luz Maria, our godsend friend, and Maria’s neighbor rounds out our communication network. Maria has to be wheeled one-half mile to a payphone. She would never ask Luz to use her phone, this proud, independent lady. Somehow, someway, Marge manages to get the information to the proper people. Today, Maria was to meet Pablo at his shop and then call us tonight for the next move in this never ending crusade in search of the holy grail, new braces. I brought Maria another 146

Our Lifelong Love Affair roll of duct tape to tide her over until Pablo can do something with that left brace.

Regardless, we had two nice visits with Maria on Monday and Wednesday. Marge’s dentist had car trouble on Monday and did not show up. She rescheduled for Wednesday. An excellent dentist. Rocio looks more like a college frosh than a highly trained periodontist. Rocio is a lady, but her father wanted a boy, hence Rocio and, not Rosa.

As I have mentioned many times before, Maria cherishes our visit. She is a sociable lady and loves to chat with us about a wide variety of subjects. The language difficulties seem to melt away as we three sit in that dark little room and talk about our experiences.

“I remember all the places you and Magie have taken me, and what foods I ate and what fun I had.” Do you remember the restaurant with the large fireplace and umbrella on the mantle?’’.

“Oh yes, it was my first time in such a beautiful place”. We are sad that Maria’s trips to SD will be very limited once she receives her braces. With a lot and a house, she would have a good chance of obtaining a visitor’s visa. Good heavens, INS has to be very careful with people like Maria, she might stay in the US, go on welfare, and abandon her boys! Do you remember her first visit to our house? She was staying the weekend and became very sad and very quiet. I knew what her problem was. “Yes, I miss my boys and worry if they will be ok.” The boys worried also that their mother was not coming back. These American strangers were taking her away for the first time. Those doubts are far behind us now.

Do you know about Mother’s Day? “Yes, we celebrate here but not as much as in the United States. “ Many of the youth from our church are having a fundraiser for you on that day. They will be selling carnations at each mass. All of the money from this will go toward your house. “I know many of the young people already 147

DAVID ROWNTREE from Easter and last year when they all came to my room. They are so good to me.” Marge has found a source for flowers and has received a good wholesale price on carnations, a Mother’s Day favorite.

Wednesday I brought more duct tape for Maria to bind her legs to the broken braces.” Ten years ago my father sent me a letter telling me to come to Guadalajara to see him. When I arrived he said he was getting me new braces. I told him that they were very expansive and he did not have money for these braces. “Do not worry, daughter, I will sell my goats and then there will be enough money. “That is what he did. His last gift for me, the last of his children. Two years later he died. My mother died one year after my father.”

Confined to her room much of the time. Maria again waits for braces that will allow her to move about and resume her “normal” way of life. Her parents are gone but she has a growing extended family in the US. Tomorrow, April 25, one year since Felix measured and sketched Maria for new braces.

May 7 Maria was very pleased to see us, our first visit in two weeks.

The two visiting ladies quickly left when we came into her room.

Maria has made it clear to her few friends that when Magie and David come to see her, we chat in private.” Oh, I am so dirty and the room is very dirty. Jaime has not been here for three days to help me.” I assured her that we come only to see the pretty, Indian girl, the rest is not important. “No, I am not pretty, I am old and my body has been so crippled by polio.” Marge and I argued that she is indeed beautiful and that what lies within her heart and within her mind is so very important. She needed the compliments 148

Our Lifelong Love Affair and accepted them half-heartedly. Then we spent several minutes arguing about who is more important in whose life. This always ends in a dead heat.

Jim sent money down to her, Marge brought some beef, and I a few pairs of sneaks and a bag of cosmetics from Diane. She was grateful but it was very evident that these took a distant second place in her priorities. Our presence, our conversation, our friendship, that is what thrills Maria. “ Last week I went to the shoe store in La Mesa, by taxi, to see Pablo, Carlos’ associate. The driver could not find the store and he still charged me $160 pesos, (about $20). This week, with more instructions from you, Magie, I found a store. I talked to my friend at the border and agreed to pay him gas money, $32 pesos. He took me over and Pablo came out to the car to see me. “I cannot fix these braces, Maria, they are beyond help. However, I will switch them so that your left leg will have the support it needs. ‘(her right leg has no feeling and cannot support any weight while the other allows her to stand and walk). Pablo is a very nice man and we had a nice conversation. He walks with a limp. I do not know if he has a brace. He told me that he also was a victim of polio. Both Manuel and Javier had polio medicine when they were babies. I could not take them but a lady in my village took both for a clinic. When we were young, Maria, thousands of children had polio every year in the United States. It is a very cruel disease. “All my life I have been so ashamed of my crippled body.

I am afraid to meet new friends. I have been so lonely. “Do you remember those early pages that I wrote and told of the note I sent Maria? Unanswered. We are long past that stage. “With you and Magie I am a no longer ashamed.”

“Next Monday I have an appointment to see Carlos at the La Mesa shoe store. Then he will measure me for the braces.” We know, Maria, and Carlos are called Magie. We will take you to see him.

We are very anxious to meet this man, who always returns phone 149

DAVID ROWNTREE calls and keeps appointments. He told Marge that the braces will take 2-3 weeks to make. All new parts. New feminine shoes. Thanks Alan for returning her shoes! “Please, I want to make lunch for you and Magie on Monday.” Marge was adamant. No, no, no. After you have your new braces we are going out to lunch. Remember, you are buying lunch for us? “Oh, yes, I have not forgotten. We will stay out for a day, ok?” Yes, of course.” In that case, I will buy some beer and chips for you both. “Thank you, Maria”. She wants to show her thanks and comments often about what little she does for us and how much we do for her. We must let her reciprocate at times. It is very important for this proud lady.

Today is Mothers’ Day. Another important day for Maria. As I write this entry, the youth at church is selling carnations after each mass. All the proceeds will go to her house fund. Marge and I are going over soon to help out at the last mass.

After weeks of attempting to contact the dentist for his help with her land, we are finally going to his office on Thursday. Both Marge and Maria thought a personal meeting with Alejandro del Campo would be best. They are right. We will tell Maria on Monday.

Remember, my friend, we are also going out to Mariano to have lunch with Karina and her family. Some Sunday in June, ok? “I have not forgotten, David. I remember everything. Karina is also embarrassed about her leg? Does she have boyfriends?” No, sadly, she has few friends. Another case of so much intelligence and beauty locked up because of a twisted leg. Karina is an excellent cook and loves children. She would make a great wife and mother.

Years ago I told Karina that her friends do not see her leg, that it makes no difference to them. My words did not penetrate. Some day perhaps. She knows she has our love and support. (Note: Karina lives in Sinaloa, married with two children. We keep in contact on Facebook.

150

Our Lifelong Love Affair

CARLOS AND PABLO

May 11, 1998

W

e were to meet the two men after 5 pm at the La Mesa shoe store. This was to be our first personal contact with the two; Carlos the orthotist and

Pablo, the shoemaker learning the skill of the orthotist. Excited and apprehensive, we have been disappointed so many times this past year. Maria was waiting for us dressed in a pretty red dress. I meant to kid her about looking like a firecracker but the word has other meanings. It was early yet so we sat and did her favorite thing and chatted. Since we would not allow her to cook for us she had bought a 6 pack of beer and chips. Manuel was off with his soccer team and Javy was in and out of room 2 hundred times like any other 11-year-old trying to listen to what we were saving. “No, no, don’t give him any chips, he has eaten his lunch already. The boy is such a pest. And, when you walk in front of someone, say “excuse me.” We tell her that her boys are just like any other normal 11 and 12 year old. In the years to come her efforts with them will pay off.

I told Maria about the fundraiser at church. The youth group sold almost 500 carnations; reaping a profit of $1000. She was pleased yet I think these large numbers do not register, not at the moment anyway. Her daily life revolves around American dollars, mostly one-dollar bills. Remember the $100 bill she received and did not know what it was?

“Jaime has been sick and has not been here for one week.”

Then who cleaned the room, it is quite clear today. “I did.” It is so dangerous for her but she persists to maintain her independence.

151

DAVID ROWNTREE “Manuel bought this little gift for Magie on Mother’s Day.” It was a little plastic teddy bear with a flower in a plastic tube. You’ve seen these things in the trinket stores. Marge made a big fuss over the gift. She knew it came from the family with much love.

“Don’t worry David, I know the address of the shoestore in La Messa. It is very easy to find.” Thus, we were off to meet the number 4 orthotist. It was only 4-5 miles but it took quite a while due to the mass of going home traffic. “There is a store on the right.” Quite a store it is; one shop makes shoes, boots, and other leather goods, another shop sells these items, and the third shop, is a makeshift examining area, and workshop to make and repair orthotist braces.

The avenue in the front, Lazaro Cardenas, was a sea of rushing cars, buses, and trucks. On the other side of the street, is a large shopping center. You can imagine the noise at 5 pm. Over the shoestore were more business; a computer school, an English language school; these were the schools I had heard so much about from our friends in Mariano. I must visit the language school, but first, we must meet Pablo. He came out and greeted us enthusiastically. Maria said he was a very nice man. Pablo is in his thirties, from the waist up he has the build of a weightlifter. Below, a twisted, crippled leg, imprisoned in a heavy iron brace. Even a large built-up shoe did not ease his terrible limp. Another victim of that cruel twentieth-century scourge is a year old daughter. My wife also had polio and her one leg is crippled. Look, I have their photos.” Beautiful people all three. “I called Carlos and he will be here within the hour. David, where did you learn to speak Spanish so well? (I just love people, who tell me that). I told him of our times in Mariano Matamoros and the many people we have met. They all helped me in my learning Spanish. Carlos arrived after suffering through the same traffic. He is a “pocho”, like Felix. Maria told me this term, it is not derogatory, and it only means a person of Mexican heritage born in the US. We all went over to their shop 152

Our Lifelong Love Affair where Carlos began his examination of Maria’s legs. He measured and made notes quickly while explaining to us what he was going to do. He suggested plastic braces attached to upper metal supports. The advantage of the plastic is that it will hold her feet better and she can wear any kind of shoe. “These braces will cost eighteen plus dollars. They will be very strong and will last many years. I am going to cast her legs and obtain exact measurements.”

Maria was lying on the table whole Carlos and Pablo wrapped each leg with the plaster-soaked bandages. Within minutes there stood the exact duplicates of Maria’s lags. Maria covered her face with embarrassment while they worked. The old semi­useful left-brace went back on while the two pondered about the useless right brace.

“I may have something in the car, Pablo, look next door for a pair of shoes for Maria. She is size 21.” That must be child size. Each returned shortly, Pablo, with a pretty pair of black, soft leather, feminine oxfords and Carlos with a cloth, velcro type brace. She just loves the shoes; her first in ten years. I paid the twelve and right away Maria argued that she would pay. “I will have the money for you when we go to the dentist on Thursday. “ I did not argue.

There are some things that she must do. The temporary brace worked great. She hopped down and was off trying her new means of walking. Her confidence was returning rapidly. “This is so good, I will not fall now since I can stand on my right leg again.” I will order the parts and call you when we are ready for the next fitting.

Two to three weeks.” We are still doubtful. We have heard the three weeks’ promises before.

Before we left the shoestore experience I must mention the English school. There were two separate classes in session when I entered. The friendly receptionist greeted me in very good English.

“Please excuse my English, it is not very good. I help my husband, he is a teacher.” I told her about our friends from Mariano who went there. Linda, Karina’s cousin, talked about the school but 153

DAVID ROWNTREE never went. Instead, she went next door to the computer school.

Five hours each week for $15. A good deal for some, too expensive for others. If you are really motivated you’ll find the way. A high school boy was waiting in the doorway, his class was next at 7 pm.

The lady told him to practice his English with me. He was bashful.

I started speaking slowly and he reluctantly responded. “I want to go to college next year and English is very important. It is very hard for me because I have no other with whom I can practice.” A very common problem I have discovered. Many Mexicans speak very well but are afraid to speak to Americans. Making mistakes is hard. Just before leaving the area, the boy came out of his class. “I had a good class, so long, thank you.”

We will be down on Thursday and go to the dentist’s office. He will see us at 4 pm. I will be ready and have your money with me.

“Would I have thought differently? We hugged her and gave her our love. It was already dark but Maria stood in the doorway and waved goodbye and threw kisses.

It was after 9 and we were very hungry. Ihop was closed, and Carl’s Jr. was closed. Nothing was open at that hour, except MacDonald and they were about to lock the doors. Thankfully, the girl let us in and we became their last customers on that very important, eventful day in our three lives.

154

Our Lifelong Love Affair

PLAZA DEL PARQUE

14 May

W

hile Marge was at Dr. Jorge’s for a dental appointment, I went over to get Maria. She was ready and waiting in the doorway. As I approached

I could see the bills in her hand. “I have the money, David. I said that I would.” I thanked her and said no more. Maria had made her statement, had made her point. At that moment I had $450 for her bank account. She will receive that later. Our friendship is not about money, it never has been. We tell her the source of every dollar that comes to #35. “It is because of you and Marie. It is through you that I received three gifts.

After picking up Marge it was our idea to go to the local restaurant for coffee and ice cream. They had no ramp for her chair. Let’s go out to Alejandro’s office and wait there. I needed the time since this was my first trip to this area. The traffic was wild as usual, Maria commented that it was her first time in this part of downtown. “Tourist.” I said.

The dentist’s office was near a park so I suggested we go over and wait there. The lady in the pharmacy told me that there was an ice cream store right around the corner. Off we went cones in hand, to the park. We did our chatting in a beautiful park on a sunny afternoon. “My shoes are so comfortable and I am more confident with the braces. My walking is much easier, and, no falls.” Thank God, remarked Marge. “Manuel called me “robocop” because my braces look like the leg from the man in the movie.” We got a big laugh out of that. She did also, she knows the movie. “Oh, how much my life has changed in the past one and a half years. I 155

DAVID ROWNTREE am no longer ashamed to go out in public and talk with people.

Next week I will go to the bank and open up a bank account. There is a $1000 minimum before one can start the bank account.” By this time she knew of the money I bought. Uncle John has sent you money also, with the suggestion that you buy a new dress and shoes for when you take us out to lunch. She agreed.” Another new dress and shoes. “With that, she let out a big sigh. I had been nervous that she would have problems setting up her bank account.

Every point that I mentioned to her she already covered when she first went to the bank for information. I felt foolish and at the same time pleased he had been so resourceful. The little Indian girl has emerged from her shell never to return.

During our last visit to her room, I asked Maria if she would like to learn to write some words in Spanish. “Yes, I only can write my name now.” I printed a few words such as Magie, Javy, Manuel, David, etc. She copied them in script barely legible. Today, at the park, we talked again about her writing. This time I suggested that she print the words. This will be your schoolwork, ok? “Yes, David, I will do my school work and have it for you on your next visit. “Perhaps if Maria can learn to write a few words she will become interested in more. We are continually impressed with her intelligence. Don’t forget the thank you note to the kids and Marie at the church. “I will have it for you next time.”

Shortly after 4 pm, Dr. Alejandro drove into the lot and came over to see us. We all had met before. I gave him a copy of Maria’s paid tax bill. He remarked that this would be very useful. “It is very important that she establish her rights to the land and pay the land taxes. She should go to the government and pay the taxes for 1998. They will only amount to $30 or so. I will call my friend, Gabriel, and ask him for his advice. It is possible that Maria can obtain the land with no further payment. There would be a court hearing and that is that.” Needless to say that we will not place too 156

Our Lifelong Love Affair much faith in this statement. It sounded nice. He explained all of this to Maria. Maria will have a busy week coming up back to the shoe store where Pablo will attach her new shoes to old braces, temporarily; a trip to the local bank to one her bank account, and lastly, back down to pay the tax bill. This time she will travel by “calafia”, those little vans that scurry all over the Tijuana landscape.

Much cheaper than the taxi and with her “new” old braces she can board the buses. Manuel goes with him on all of these trips. She is excited and wants to do all that she can to help. I cannot imagine her getting on those little vans with the two canes and wheelchair.

As I have said many times in the past and will in the future, Maria is the ultimate survivalist. We said goodbye to Alejandro and I promised to call him in a week or so to find out how he made out with Gabriel. These two did nothing for the cause several months ago, but we must have some optimism that this time they will help.

Alejandro has told Jim that he does want to help Maria. Off we went winding our way through, the streets past the Cuauhtemoc monument, past Colonia California the airport, and finally to #35.

Maria enjoys these trips to all new neighborhoods. The experiences are carefully filed away in that ever-busy mind of hers.

“Can you, stay and visit with me for a little while?” Yes, of course. The trip had tired her but not so much that she did not want to chat. Jaime had returned after his sickness and the place was clean. The birds are very messy.more so since three of them are not locked in their cages. Jose Luis is afraid of the new cage and will not stay in it. He prefers to hang on, swing on, and climb around the old cage. “Gato” the cat came slowly into the room. The poor cat, he is so thin and walks so slowly. Is he ok, Maria? “Yes, Gato is in love and he spends much of his time with his current girlfriend. He has families all over Mesa Otay. Tomorrow I will go to the bank and open my account. Then we will go to see Pablo. It will be a busy day for Manuel and me.”

157

DAVID ROWNTREE As we said our goodbyes the inevitable question came up, “When will you visit me again? You know how I miss you and Magie.”

Within two weeks, Maria. We miss you also. Our friendship has become so strong that we can no longer stay away from that dark little room for any length of time.” I will stand in the doorway and wave to you and throw you kisses, “She did and we did and drove off.”

Today, May 16 Carlos called. “Are you still interested in the braces for Maria? Often, after an appointment and a price quote, I never hear from them again. “Marge made it very clear to him that we are for real and to order the parts, the check will be mailed Monday. “I wish I could afford to do the work gratis but I just cannot, my young family, you know. “We understand, order the parts. He is giving a better price than he would to a person with full medical.” You are so good to help Maria.” Little does he know how much we are rewarded.

May 17 Today, four months to the day, we made our way to Mariano Matamoros. The long lapse is due because of the winter rains and what happens to the unpaved roads afterward. Finally dry but in almost unpassable condition. Marge suffers for several days after one of these trips. Over the years these roads have gotten progressively worse each year. You can imagine the Jimmy Carter project without storm drains and unpaved streets.

Our first stop was to see “La Doctora” and follow up on our desire to have her, Diana and Maria Elena, come up to RB for a weekend. She was just readying herself for a drive to Mariano and so we conducted our business rapidly. Without an invitation, we do not like to stay at anyone’s house too long. She was very excited about the invitation and her girls will be also. This is a 158

Our Lifelong Love Affair very fine family and like Mario’s, they speak little English but understand much. It should be a fun weekend.

Our next stop was to see Karina and find out how she was doing with her new brace. I mentioned before about her fall and broken knee and broken brace. Though the house was full of visiting family they had time for us. Karina greeted us with her beautiful smile and was truly thankful that Marge had interceded for her with Shriners. “David, I have not forgotten my promise to make lunch for you both. When do you wish to come? I will make mole, ok?’’ Perfect! We set aside the last Sunday of June and I asked her if we could bring a special friend, Maria. “Yes, of course! “I showed Maria’s photos to Karina and her cousin, Linda. “ In fact, I saw her yesterday at the linea and gave her some money.” I did not go into Maria’s long story except about the polio connection. As we talked with the two, I heard a little voice call my name in English. “Do you remember me?” Of course, Juana Zaragoza. I first met Juana the summer of the Carter project. She was 12 and spoke very good English. She lived in Los Angeles for several years. That summer I visited her house many times and got to know her three sisters and mother and father. Because her mother kept asking me to bring the family food, clothing, and other things, I gradually broke off our friendship. This was very rare. One other used to hint but no one ever asked for anything.

I take that back: several years ago Cuca asked us for help with blankets. Her sister, Gloria had just come north with her five children, and they had no warm clothing or blankets to go to Mariano. This was not a case of begging.

A few years ago I saw Juana with a baby walking toward the “curva”. I had heard she gave birth; no mention of a husband.

Yesterday, that baby is now four years old. Juana is barely 20, yet she has aged so much in these past years. A hard life for one with little schooling and a child.

159

DAVID ROWNTREE Both Marge and I remarked how good Karina looked. She was walking very well, less limp and her back was straighter. She also had lost some weight. She told us she was feeling good and her back and hip gave her no pain. I gave her the info about Carlos and Pablo. Keep it safe if ever you need their help. She is now out of the Shriners program having reached 21 years.

Before we had a chance to go inside Maria Jesus came by. Her English is failing but she and Marge had a nice chat. Maria’s husband died several months ago and this was Marge’s first opportunity to talk with Maria. She lives behind Elva and we have become good friends. She has received a Christmas turkey for the past two years.

Inside the crowded house, we met again Karina’s cousins, and her aunt and uncle. Leonila, the grandmother has been very sick.

Hence the aunt and uncle, visiting from far southern Mexico. After a brief visit, we made our excuses and left to see Christina.

Mario was visiting his mother-in-law so we had a nice chat with the two. I showed Mario the notice in our church bulletin about our seeking an American family that would host Montserrat for several months. She wishes to learn English and later become a bilingual teacher. She starts college next winter. At Christina’s or Mario’s, there is never a shortage of conversation. Mario asked me about the last uninhabited Carter house, B-3. He knows of a man who would like to buy the house. It has never been occupied. I will ask Jerry Mayfield about the procedure to purchase it. Danny, their youngest, was with his father. Danny will be 5 years old tomorrow.

Though he has been sick, the family is preparing a small party for him. Later we walked over to see Lulu and the rest of the kids. Though risking repetition, I will say again that this is one of the most outstanding of all the families we have met. Mario’s mother, Maria, was visiting from Mexico City. We had met her years before. Christopher was cleaning his room while Berenice was just finishing a cake for Danny’s party. It had a funny-looking 160

Our Lifelong Love Affair face and so I called it a Montenegro face. They all laughed at that.

Montserrat was pleased about the bulletin ad. We hope we receive some calls.

Luis Enrique returned to Shriners last week for a checkup and received good news, no appointment for two years. He has grown very tall and is still the charmer of the family. Christian, the dependable, rock of the children, has grown into a fine adult.

Serious yet with a wonderful, happy personality, he is his mother’s biggest supporter. Jorge, the merchant, was working as usual. The boys are a mother’s dream; faithful, supportive, and dependable.

“David, please call me soon and we will take a date for a lunch with you and Margarita. “I promised I would call her. She cherishes our visits as we do and knows we will not forget her.

We passed through the border around 6 pm. Maria had returned to her room. On our next trip to #35, she will ask all about Mariano.

31 May We kept our promise to make a date with Patricia for lunch and made the trip down today. Marge made her world-famous Libertarian cake (an orange glaze cake),! brought a bottle of wine and an assortment of china plates, bowls, glasses, and towels. With those growing boys of hers, these items are always needed. The place was busy with kids as usual; Luis Enrique, Christian, Donna, Paty, and the new baby, Ariana. Jorge was working at the local store. Thankfully, Paty and her kids only come on weekends. The atmosphere is much calmer and happier now that Paty has moved out.

Patricia was busy with the meal and what a meal it was! Mole with chicken, the red rice, and a new dish for both Marge and me; black beans cooked with onion, salt, water, and garlic, topped off with a very tasty dry cheese. Until yesterday Patricia had not been 161

DAVID ROWNTREE near the top of the list of great cooks. She now has forged right up there with Elva, Cuca, and Maria Elena Nava. Marge believes that when Patricia’s mother, Luz, visited some time back, she took some serious lessons from her. Though she had a slight migraine, Patricia served us a wonderful luncheon. I kept her glass active and told her that the wine would help her headache. Perhaps it did. It was a fun-filled happy afternoon. Marge had great fun with Donna teaching her how to shell roasted peanuts. At first, she would bring the peanuts over and say, “abrelo, abrelo”, (open it, open it). Later she would look for the nuts with a slight crack and open them herself. Donna is a mirror image of her grandmother, Patricia, at that age. She is growing into a very happy, intelligent, little girl.

Thanks to Patricia.

What a surprise for Marge when she asked Donna, in English, to open her hands for more peanuts. She came over to her and opened her hands. Already, she is learning to understand English like her uncles. Television is a great teacher in this country. I know of young people who have learned to speak and understand English as a result of watching the San Diego channels.

I learned a new phrase before our visit, “would you like to go on a picnic? ‘’ I tried it out and they all decided it was a great idea. We made a tentative date in July. I asked Pat­r icia if Maria and her boys could go also. She was very agreeable. We selected Parque Amistad since it is located close to both families. This is the same park that the youth group and Maria and the boys will be going to in July.

Maria’s social schedule is becoming quite active. As a result, her personality and self-confidence have made great advances.

Our visits are always uplifting for Patricia, she needs the encouragement and support from her American family. Her own supplies so little, except her mother, Luz. Over the years our friendship has grown strong. Until next time, we love you, Patricia, we love you.”Igualmente, David Margarita, igualmente. “ 162

Our Lifelong Love Affair

HELEN OF TROY. PRINCESS DIANA. MARY POPPINS.

June 6-7

A

n unusual title to say the least for our next entry to this story of our Mexican friends. “La doctora” and her two daughters finally made the trip up for the weekend. It

was delayed one week because Maria Elena was taking her final exams to complete high school. Mari has been taking a home study course to complete her high school requirements. As I have mentioned before, these ladies are very interesting, very intelligent, and are great fun to be with. They arrived within minutes of the suggested time carrying a box from Coco’s. While the ladies were eyeing our house, Marge opened the box; it contained a deadlylooking key-lime pie. They reacted as Ofelia and many others have and wondered if we lived alone in this big house and how clean it was. Marge was concerned at first but when they warmed up and realized that we are the same people who have come to Tijuana all these years, the fun began. The three speak hardly a word of English yet understand most of what we say. When Marge went to the kitchen to prepare the meal, the daughters were drawn like magnets. They watched every move and asked many questions.

Marge kept calling me, “what did Diana say, what did Maria Elena say?” Often before I arrived they would figure out the answers.

Doctora and I sipped our Martini and talked about a variety of subjects. I had been under the wrong impression that she had left her studies before graduating. In fact, she has spent her career in public health. Her three other children, all boys, are working at 163

DAVID ROWNTREE various airports in Mexico. One is an air traffic controller. Her husband long gone, could not compete with this intelligent lady.

This leads me to Diana, the baby of the family and certainly the most puzzling of them all. Her husband, Alejandro requested that Diana stay home and keep house for her mother and himself. Quiet, appearing much younger than her 21 years, and often giving the impression that she is somewhat “slow “, Diana is highly intelligent, very witty, and understands every word of English that she hears.

While waiting for Alejandro to return from his early morning work, Diana watches American tv, Jay Leno. David Letterman, et al. I have seen this happen many times in Mexico, and I am still impressed by what can be learned in this manner. Many times during the evening Diana would translate into Spanish something Marge or I would say in English. I began calling her our “translator”.

Marge’s wonderful baked chicken specialty with swiss cheese and breadcrumb topping was a huge success. Mari was taking mental notes of the whole affair. Later she would write it down.

While Marge picked up the dishes I took the girls for a walk around the neighborhood. The quietness of the area was most impressive to them. I told of the wildlife still frequenting our area; rabbits, hawks, quail, an infrequent coyote, and even a mountain lion. This got their attention. Truly, last year a young puma was discovered nearby, sleeping on a rooftop. That was a very scary happening! Mari seemed sad when I told her that there were no children in this development. The rest of RB has many kids.

Everyone was ready for coffee and dessert when we arrived back.

Russian tea cakes, key lime pie, and homemade biscotti rounded out the selection. Marge made the point that we do not eat like this often, only when we have company; the three seemed pleased that they were considered special. Indeed, they are.

Doctora slept in Meg’s old room while the girls slept on an air mattress in the tv room. The two watched tv for a time and 164

Our Lifelong Love Affair were like two kids at a slumber party. Diana found a clip of a Jerry Springer show and we all laughed and were duly embarrassed.

Doctor a mentioned earlier that my voice must be tired because I was doing all the translating. They understand so much that my efforts were not too strenuous. Other less educated friends are more difficult to translate.

Sunday morning was my time in the kitchen. I told the girls that this was my kitchen now, but I was overruled by Marge. Still just a guest in her kitchen. Anyway, I made the traditional menu of orange glaze muffins and baking powder biscuits. Marge added the fresh fruit. Mari made so much of these baked goods that I handed her my bread-making book and told her to take it home and check out all the different bread. She said I should open a bakery in El Florido and she would come work in it.

Again on Sunday morning, there was no lack of conversation among the five of us. We chatted about Maria’s kids and their schooling, and their quality of life while living in Mariano. When the families came north, Doctora went to one of the local banks to finance a home. She was refused because of her age over 50. She heard about Habitat for Humanity and went to see David Snell. He arranged for the family to get on the list of families. Of the 90 plus families in the community, several are obviously overqualified. I always felt that this was a small price to pay for the dozens who would never in their lifetime have a home. Elva and Prisciliana are good examples.

Soon after our branch, Doctora asked me if they should leave yet. No, no I said, you may stay as long as you wish. David, we are having such a relaxing visit. It has been an honor to visit you and Margarita. “ I have I heard that phrase before? Maria. I argued that it was Marge and me who were honored and so we went round and round with that. How fortunate we have been these past nine years to have met so many wonderful people.

165

DAVID ROWNTREE The two girls have a working knowledge of computers so I invited them out to my office to check out the internet. I barely can move about in this medium but they were very interested. Later I showed them the e-mail system. Let’s send a letter to DAK, our son-in-law. I set it up and the two went to work; Maria, quick as a wink with two fingers, typed several lines and then Diana, the keys flew for her as she had studied typing for three years. I forget what they wrote, probably told him about their weekend. Dave will have me translate later. I was aghast when Mari told me that the internet costs $30 per hour in Mexico. That eliminates most of the country.

Though we gave no outward sign, the three started to get ready for the trip back. I got all the backed goods bagged for the two families. One piece of the pie for me and the rest gone. “I am going to Mexico City to visit my son for one month. When I return we must make a date for you and Margarita to come for dinner. “ Doctora declared “What would you like us to prepare?” Chiles relleno, we both said. Margarita will bring the dessert and I will bring the wine.

We had talked about Maria earlier and I asked if we might include her also. A resounding, “of course.” Maria will give a good accounting of herself in this very intelligent group. As we walked out to their car, Diana said to Marge, in English, “ Thank you, Martha Stewart, for the chicken was delicious. “Marge replied, “you are welcome, Princess Diana and your mother is Helen, Helen of Troy. “I chimed in, “ and your sister is Mary Poppins.” We all had a big laugh at that and so our weekend ended.

Later Marge reminded me of that wonderful writer,Vanloon and his famous “Lives”. Famous people from were somhow brought back to spend a weekend of dining and conversaton with a Dutch family in early 20th century Holland.

166

Our Lifelong Love Affair

AN OPPORTUNITY OF LIFETIME

O

n our last visit to Mariano, May l7, was stopped in to see Mario and Lulu and the family. It was at that time that Montserrat, the younger of the two girls at 17, told

me that she would like to come to SD for several months before she begins college, order to learn more English. Did we know a family that might be interested in bringing her into their home? What a great idea! An opportunity of a lifetime for this fine young lady.

San Rafael has been so good in the past, I would start there first. A notice was run in the curch bulletin on mother’s day; no responces.

It was run two weeks later and we recived tree calls. So it was that we met Denise and Michael Eyer and their four kids, one dog and several hampsters. It would be a perfect place for Montse. Merge and I were very impressed and excitely called Tijuana to tell her of the good fortune. We set a date for her and Mario to come up and meet the family. When they arrived at our house I could see that Mario and Montse were not alone; Lulu and Danny came also. No problem, Marge set two more places for dinner after the interview.

When we all met at the large two story house, the parent look to each other immediatly. Denise’s kids vere excited, Montse was excited, we were excited. It was a beautiful meeting all around. Our notice in the bulletin started that we wanted a stay at home mother; Montse was not going to be a nanny. She would help with the kids and help Denise. No cooking; Montse is not into cooking yet. On the other hand, Mario is a wonderfull cook. He even teaches at cooking school in Tijuanna. “I have a lady, who comes in once a week to clean. If Montse would like to do this job I will pay her and cancel the lady for several month.” This sounded like a good idea to Montserrat. “During summer vocation we are always on the go.

LaJolla to the beach, to the zoo, to the malls.” Oh, Montse, what 167

DAVID ROWNTREE an education you will receive this summer! The shy little girl from Mariano Matamoros will soon enter into the whole new world. I am reminded of Maria and how her life changed when she began visiting SD. As Marta Steward would say, “it’s a good thing.” New friends, new environs are always beneficial I believe.

August 11, is the day Montserrat will begin her adventure.

Two days after Montse and her mother and father met the Eyers, Marge and I attended our pastor’s annual dinner for the church volunteers. This is a wonderful dinner Monsignor Lloyd puts on each year in appreciation of those who help out at the parish. We were anxious to tell him about the two families and how they will be united. “ l know about your venture. Mike told me the whole story. There they are sitting over there.” Nice going you two, stealing our thunder. “We were so excited, we just had to call Msg. Lloyd. “We all had a nice chat and got their input about the Montenegro family. They both thoroughly enjoyed Mario and Lulu; and Montse, of course!

When Montse was here I told her that we had another family interested in a girl to live in for several months. “My friend Maria Eugenia, a classmate, would love to come over also.” Mario joined in, “ I know her and she is a good girl and her parents are good people. “ This is sufficient enough for us. Mario has our complete trust. So it is that four families will share in an experience that will undoubtedly change their lives. The girls’ will never see things in the same light as they did in that hot, dusty Colonia.

168

Our Lifelong Love Affair

LUNCH WITH KARINA AND A DREAM COME TRUE

June 28

W

hen Karina broke her brace and knee last January, Marge worked wonders with Shriners and got Karina re-admitted to their program, and managed

a very quick appointment for her in Los Angeles. I told Karina then that she owed Margarita “much” for her in Los Angeles. I told Karina that she owed Margarita “mucho” for what we did and we would like her to cook a meal for us. I said this mostly in jest, but she readily agreed to make whatever we wanted. Marge requested “mole” and their famous red rice.

Yesterday we traveled south to collect on that promise. Maria was invited but at the last moment, she became sick and had to see the doctor in the afternoon. Mariano was it’s usually hot, dusty, windy, exploding with activity, colonia. Marge’s back suffered mightily when we left the paved road and headed downhill to the Carter community. Abuela Leonila’s (Karina’s grandmother) house was bursting at the seams with activity, kids, and babies all over the little house. If I attempted to list all the people there it would only serve to confuse. Later Marge and I both remarked that it was a blessing that Maria did not make the trip. The activity would be too much for her. Nevertheless, it was good fun to see and visit with many of our old friends. I remarked to Elva, Karina’s mother that it was just eight years ago that this community was built. 1500 busy volunteers from around the world sweating and toiling with great enthusiasm for 100 unknown families. Although 169

DAVID ROWNTREE I had worked at several sites before and met several families, it was here at this dusty, forlorn place that the seeds of friendships were sown and changed our lives forever. I remember you, Karina, in front of your half-built house, supported by those ever-present crutches, watching the workers swarming over the houses in their frantic efforts to finish all 100 that week. You were 13 years old then and had lived your life with those wooden supports. There must be something we can do for that girl. You were the first to go to Shriners. The bond between our two families was cast. It endures to this day.

While the calamity endured throughout the rooms. Karina served her two guests. Chicken mole, the red rice dish and a new one for me, translated into English, “ pork and beans.” The comparison ends at that point. Pinto beans, dry cheese, sausages, jalapeno peppers, chiles, and more I suppose. A very, very tasty addition. Karina played her hostess part very well; serving Marge first and then myself. I requested that she join us. We dislike eating alone at the homes of our Mexican friends.

Elva, Karina’s mother, and her youngest, Raul, joined us at the table. Elva was quite excited and kept telling Raul, “tell David, tell David.” “ I will not be 12 years old until next month and I have passed into the sixth grade. “ What great news considering the family’s history with education. Over the past few years, he has become a very nice boy; quiet, very polite, and just an all-around nice kid. He appears to have the best chance of all the kids to go on to high school. Karina made it through the 7th grade; the others, less.” Tell David what you want to study.” It’s a shame Elva did not get this excited about her other kid’s schooling. “ I want to study to become a lawyer.” Wow! Is that a shock or not? Time will tell, at least he has some goal in which to strive. Karina has so much intelligence but no ambition, no goals. Her twisted lag is her problem, I believe. Our friend promised Raul that she would pay 170

Our Lifelong Love Affair for his schooling as long as he went. She will be very pleased with this news.

Karina’s cousin, Esmeralda, and her family were there. Israel, her husband speaks English very well and so Marge had a nice chat with him. A few years ago, Mark and I visited him when he was still building his house. A very nice husband and father, Israel works on this side of the border for a heating and air conditioning company. All in all, it was a nice visit with old friends. The bottle of wine I had brought was still quite full; only Israel, Marge, and I were drinking. Whatever was left I suppose they can use it for cooking or give it to Grandma’s peach tree. That tree of hers is full of fruit every year.

As we were departing I said to Elva that the next luncheon will be at her house in October, with Maria Martinez. I did not have to force the invite, she was quite insistent that we come to her place next. Hopefully, Elva can keep the crowd down a little for this visit.

For Maria’s sake mainly.

We stopped over to say hello to Christina and found that she had her bible study group there. We quickly said our hellos and goodbyes and Marge promised her that she will receive an invitation to RB this summer.

Next we to Mario’s house. I wanted to see Montse and tell her about the youth group picnic in July. We will invite both her and Maria Eugenia, the other girl who is coming up to live with an American family. Montse was not home but her dad will relay our message. Don’t forget, my friend we will see you in August when Montse comes up to Michael and Denise’s home. “Oh, I cannot forget that date, Montse is busy studying English and the computer.

She is very excited about this great adventure she will be taking.”

Marge and I are just as excited as Mario and Lulu.

It had been a long time since we saw Don Nacho and so we stopped at his house next. The place was jumping with 171

DAVID ROWNTREE grandchildren. Esthar, Nacho’s wife was there along with Nena the youngest girl, her kids, and surprise, surprise, Ofelia’s kids from Los Angeles. Her whole gang had moved north about two years ago. Oscar, 13, and Nancy, 10, came out to greet us. “Hi, David, hi, Margarita, how are you?” They were speaking English! And, good English at that. We were so excited we almost fall over with glee.

Both of us made a huge deal about their English. “Sonia knows some English also, but she is too shy. “ Sonia will be 6 in August. I think they felt our pride and happiness with their accomplishment.

What are you studying at school, Marge asked.” History, math, science, and English, and Spanish.” These two are proof that it does not take four to six years to learn English. I met the two not long after they moved to LA and they were still having difficulty assimilating. Those times were over.

One morning several weeks ago I told Marge about a dream that I had. I had met Oscar and Nancy at Nacho’s house and we were chatting along about their new life and their two aunts and cousins who live there when I suddenly realized they were speaking English. I was so happy and delighted for them and then I awoke.

What is that old saw about dreams not coming true?

172

Our Lifelong Love Affair

THE PICNIC

11 July

A

s it has been with many of our other experiences with Maria, today was another first in her life; a picnic in a park. Parque Amistad is only a mile from her room and

that was our destination. Marge and I, Marie, our church youth group leader, and two of the girls, made our way south on a very hot day to this beautiful park just inside the Mexican border. Maria was ready and waiting. The Wednesday before at Carlos’ for a brace fitting, she told me that because of her recent health problems she might not go today. “Today I feel good and would like to go with you on a picnic. Manuel and Javy are ready also.”We all piled into Marie’s large van and off we went. We found a lovely shady spot with a grill and picnic table and settled in. Immediately the boys hit the swings and the two girls, Shelly and Brigitte, went over to check out the lake and the paddleboat rentals. $3 for 30 minutes.

It wasn’t long before the boys and the girls were out on the lake.

“Oh, that is expensive, $25 pesos.” It is ok, Maria, today the boys are having fun. Enjoy this beautiful place, the scenery, and the cool breeze.” It is so peaceful here, with the water and the cool breeze coming through the trees. My little room is so hot these days. “Don’t talk about that sad little room, I thought. You’ll make me cry. The three looked like they had been through a washing machine, so clean they were.” I got up at seven and got the boys out to the back of my room, where they washed. I washed also to be ready for you. Look, David, Javy is wearing pants that you brought and Manuel is wearing a shirt from you also.” I had forgotten what clothes went where. The little Indian lady forgets nothing.

173

DAVID ROWNTREE We all were thoroughly enjoying this quiet time together. Maria and Marie have always been closed, in age, and both with two boys. Maria had many questions for Marie; “you are so young, (actually, Marie is one year older at 36), and so slim, do you play sports? Were you afraid to bring the boys to Tijuana today?” No, Maria, since we moved I have had a very long drive and it would be too much for me with the boys. Maria is building her knowledge about many things these days; American women being one of her subjects. Marge went through a similar treatment. If you pass her test, and these two certainly have, your place is secure in her heart.

“Magie, Magie, Magie.” Her love for Marge explodes with her every word.

While the others were busy, Marie and I took Maria for a stroll around the lake. It was longer than I thought a mile or more. We chatted, enjoyed the geese and ducks playing in the water, and took in the scenery. The hustle and bustle of border traffic, street noises, and Saturday commercial business were just outside the park. We were on an island of green and peacefulness. Do we ever think about sitting constantly, hardly ever-rising and walking? I am reminded when I see Maria raise herself in the chair and stretch.

Those strong arms push up to change position and then relax to where she has spent her life. Never questioning, never resentful.

Besides, her American family keeps her busy going places and meeting new friends. I know, I know, “you and Magie have changed my life.”

The boys were hungry, the fire was going, here we go, let’s eat.

Hot dogs, soda, chips, cakes, the usual “junk” food. But, tasty!

Marge brought a chicken breast for Maria; we wanted no problems with her stomach. The boys attacked the food; 2, 3, 4, who knows how many hotdogs. Manuel said he had five. Good! Those uneaten will go back to Guillermo Prieto. And, the rolls and whatever else is left. Those two boys eat like there is no tomorrow. The package 174

Our Lifelong Love Affair of chicken from Marge on Wednesday is gone. From week to week I can literally see that two grow. Remember the salad dressing Marge made for Maria? Maria still uses it on all the vegetables.

The boys love it.

Maria gets so upset at the boys at times. They seem to have forgotten all her efforts at good manners, politeness, and being good boys. Do not worry, Maria, they are normal boys. Your teaching will return someday. It is there in their heads and hearts.

Given the circumstances of their lives, Maria could win a “motherof-the-year” award in a waltz.

Brigitte and Shelly were hitting it off well with the boys. They joked and played well together; no phonies in this quartet. Marie has done a wonderful job with the youth these past ten years. I am hard-pressed to remember one youth in all these years that was not well behaved. Marie has always brought out the best in her group. That is why Maria loves her as she does. The three M’s have substance. M+Ms may be good candy. We have sometimes far better M + M + M! Our visit was drawing to a close; Marie has a very long drive to her new home north of San Diego and we had spent three hours enjoying ourselves. Marie is leaving the youth group to devote more time to her two boys. Maria knows; the two hugged each other for a long time. Will you come to Maria’s to celebrate her new house? “Oh, yes, I shall be happy to visit her.”

175

DAVID ROWNTREE

GREEN GRASS

12 July

“I

thank God for our green grass.” These were Marge’s first words after we arrived back from our visit to Mariano Matamoros. Mariano may be hot, dusty, dry, windy,

and other more descriptive words but its people are wonderful.

Invited for lunch we spent the afternoon at Prisciliana’s house in the Jimmy Carter project. She made my favorite; mole chicken, and Marge’s favorite, machaca, a shredded beef vegetable combination.

Prisciliana also made her wonderful flour tortillas. Marge made dessert and I brought a bottle of wine enough for all of us to have a taste.

Sundays are busy days at their house; her kids’ friends all meet thereafter their soccer games and other activities. Israel, Irma’s husband-to-be was there along with Pollo, David, Cesar, Laura, Heydi, and several other friends. We met Israel on our last trip.

He was very quiet, saying very little to Marge and me. This time Israel was a bundle of energy and friendliness. The family must have told him that we were OK. You are marrying into a wonderful family, my friend.”Oh, I know, I am very happy. When are you coming down again? Come back and visit us soon again. “David, the youngest of the three boys, and the quietest of the family had changed remarkably; taller, an earring, a wild-looking haircut, and talking to us. What a change! Prisciliana must have been reading my thoughts, “ David is a good boy, he is not a cholo (gang type).”

I know, I know, all of your kids are very good.

Last Year David broke his arm and leg playing soccer. Like many other similar fractures, the leg was not set correctly. Consequently.

176

Our Lifelong Love Affair David has been having problems with his walking. Marge arranged an emergency appointment with Shriners and so he and his mother are traveling to Los Angeles on Thursday. He is quite apprehensive; we feel that the leg will have to be reset to keep him from becoming a cripple in years to come. I told him not to worry, Shriners is the best of hospitals.

The leftover dessert from Saturday’s picnic was served well today. Irma and Nancy had been gone for about an hour when they returned with Irma carrying a large, white, frosted birthday cake.

Today was Israel’s birthday, his 27th. She had walked almost two miles in the hot sun with that cake. Israel is the eldest of the gang but acts like the youngest with his vitality.

After we said our goodbyes we walked over to Mario’s house.

On our last visit, the family told us that Berenice and Ulises were to be married in September. What a fine young couple! Both college graduates and very ambitious. Marge and I would like an invitation to the wedding.” Of course, you are invited.” I have found over the years that often I have to initiate invitations to many of our friends’ homes.

After that first icebreaker, there is no longer any problem.

Perhaps it is the culture, nevertheless, we have overcome that obstacle. “ The wedding date is 19th September,” Berenice said. “My father will be doing all the cooking.” Mario loves to cook and he is already planning the menu; chicken cordon bleu, caesar salad, and much more. He hopes to have the reception at his cooking school.

A good idea, everything will be gratis. Not the food and drinks of course, but the building, tables, chairs, etc. A very exciting event, and, the day after our own anniversary.

Montse came out from her room and spoke to Marge and me in halting English, but she is making a great effort to be ready for the Eyer family in August. We have not the slightest doubt that Montserrat will be a huge success. Montse, we are having a picnic 177

DAVID ROWNTREE at Parque Amistad on Saturday. Please try to come and ask Maria Eugenia to come also. Maria is the other girl coming up to SD for the summer to learn English.

After Mario’s, we stopped off to see Christina. She was relaxing and enjoying a movie. Sorry to disrupt your time. “ Oh, it is nothing.

I am just sitting around all day without any ambition. Next year when I retire I will be anxious to start my little hair salon business.

My ceilings need to be finished and the closet in my bedroom is still not started. There is always so much to do.” Your home is lovely, don’t worry, things will get finished. “Isn’t the news about Bere exciting?” Yes, we all are excited. Ulises and Berenice have invited us to the wedding.”Wonderful! We will all have a great celebration.”

Our visit had come to its conclusion. Now we must drive back over those dreadful roads that lead out of the Carter project. Some areas are still wet and muddy, in July! The city is digging a storm drain through Elva’s and Christina’s streets. Only eight years it took.

18 July / 1998 As another hot day was looming over San Diego, we made our way south to Parque Amistad. This time we brought not only Marge’s great picnic lunch but Pat and John Sullivan, our Hawaii friends since 1970. Our two families have shared countless picnics together in Hawaii. Our children grew up in each other’s company.

This time it was an entirely new experience; a Mexican picnic with several of our friends from Tijuana. I shall list them all because they are all very special people in our lives. Naturally Maria, Javy, Manuel, Patricia Chavez, and her boys, Christian, Luis Enrique, and Jorge. Montse came over during her lunch hour. That was a nice surprise. She will be coming up to SD soon. Later, two of 178

Our Lifelong Love Affair Patricia’s friends from Sony, Eduardo, and Enrique, came to join us. What fun! Marge and Pat S.chatted and caught up on the news. The Sullivans are visiting their daughter’s family and new grandson. Maria and Patricia took to each other immediately. We have talked many times about Patricia and her life. Now the two wonderful ladies spoke of their lives in Tijuana and their mutual friendship with Marge and me. Also, their physical trials; Maria’s obvious handicap and Luis Enrique’s continuing problems with his hip and leg. Marge will call Shriners this week for an appointment for Luis. Seven operations and still complications.

After kicking the soccer ball around and trying out the swings, the boys headed for the paddle boats on the little lake. Though they are older, Particia’s three were very nice to Maria’s boys. All five are such nice boys and all are totally different from each other.

Very entertaining.

It was hotter this week but still comfortable with a nice breeze coming across the lake. Nevertheless, the sun was more intense and so, we covered the open beam picnic roof with blankets and towels. Maria forgot her umbrella but there was plenty of shade under the tented area. “I am very happy and comfortable here. It is so much better here than in my hot room.” The hot days are not kind to Maria. Pat remarked how pretty Maria’s red print dress was.” This is my first new dress. Maggie’s brother, Juanito, sent me money to buy it. Most of my clothes are from the swap meet.”

There is no shame in that, Maria. Meg buys many things at thrift stores. I go to thrift stores.

The two families were enjoying this day to the utmost. They have experienced very little of the joys of parks and picnics.

After the snacks and sodas had received a great amount of attention, Marge began serving the main attraction; sliced baked ham mayo-dill macaroni salad, homemade rolls, and marinated vegetable salad. Everyone ate to their delight. Maria was served and 179

DAVID ROWNTREE we could see her delight upon being first. Everyone was hungry.

Montse’s quick trip over from work was well rewarded.”Margarita, this cauliflower salad is wonderful! I know my father will want your recipe. “ Mario would like all of Marge’s recipes. The leftovers were divided up between Maria’s and Patricia’s families. Earlier I had left the ham bone in Mari’s room. She will make a bean soup with it.

Pat and John chatted with the two families like they were old friends. Their teachers’ intellects allowed them to overcome much of the language barrier. Besides, Patricia and her boys understand a considerable amount of English. Last year Patricia entertained the Sullivans in her apartment. There are several families that one must visit when coming to Mexico; Patricia Chavez, Maria, Mario, and Lulu.Christina, and Prisciliana.

When we all had our fill. Pat brought out the dessert. Cosco pastries. The crowd reduced the contents of two large boxes to crumbs in a matter of minutes. I wrapped a piece for Montse and wrapped Maria’s since she could not finish. As Montse departed we reminded her that we would all get together on August 11, the day she will be coming UP to RB and her American family.

With the workweek over, the park was filling up this time late afternoon. Families were anxious to begin their weekend of relaxation. On Sundays, it is very difficult to find any space in the Parking lot. It was nearing four pm and Maria was getting nervous. “ I am worried about my birds and my door cannot be locked..” Ok, I’ll take you and the boys home and then return for Magie and the Sullivans. May I bring the two back for a short visit? “Yes, but not the others. I am too embarrassed by the room.”

Maria explained to Patricia about her room size and that when she had her new house, the Chavez family would be welcomed.

Patricia asked me to keep in touch with her. “Let us go to Parque Morelos the next time for a picnic.” That would be fine and that 180

Our Lifelong Love Affair park is nearby. Margarita will call Shriners on Monday for Luis Enrique. (Marge called and Luis has a 3 August appointment).

Pat and John have been very good to Maria and we wanted Pat to see the conditions in which the three live. John was in the room last year. It is hard to visualize how these three proud people can live in this hot, depressing shack. Well, they have no choice! If the hundreds of people who receive our request for donations for Maria’s house could sit in that room for a short while, our task would be made simple.

We all said our goodbyes and hugged Maria. As I approached Maria she opened her hand slightly, “David, look what Juanita and Patricia gave me. Now I will not go to the line tomorrow. The sun and fumes are so strong now. I will use this money to buy new shoes for the braces.” She was cradling $20 in her hand. God bless you two wonderful friends! Later this day we learned that our two friends had sent $100 to Maria’s house fund at our church. It was a nice surprise that had not yet been recorded at the church.

You shall get your shoes soon, Maria, Carlos is waiting for you.

181

DAVID ROWNTREE

THE LONG WAIT ENDS

M

aria, ever more patient than Marge and I, received her new braces on Tuesday, 25 August, exactly 16 months after her first appointment at St. Vincent

dePaul. Over those many months, we have been frantic with worry over Maria’s situation. The old braces had deteriorated so much that she was in constant peril of falling. Again and again, she told us not to worry. How could we not? Carlos and Pablo did a fine job in making strong, light braces that will last Maria many years.

Since our first meeting with the two at the La Mesa shoestore in May, we have had several appointments for measuring, fittings, and discussions on the merits of plastic versus metal. The first braces were plastic, but Maria was not happy with them; too tight, too hot, and she lacked confidence in the plastic. Carlos made nothing of this and said he would gladly make the metal ones. Pablo is just learning the orthotist business, and we met at his shop which is not far from Maria’s room. Did I mention before that Pablo was a victim of polio and he wears a large metal leg brace? His lovely wife Alicia, a polio victim herself, wears a leg brace. Their seven-yearold daughter, Yareli, often feels slighted because she does not have a leg brace to wear. Her parents explain to her that the illnesses attacked their legs but she has strong healthy legs. Thank God for the polio vaccine! Maria was waiting for us when we reached her room on Tuesday. Our appointment was for 6:30, and so we had plenty of time for our surprise.” Are we going to the park again today? I have bought you and Magie some beer and chips.” Oh no my friend, we are going to Sanborns for a light lunch. Maria was visibly excited about this news. Sometimes Marge and I kid about Maria being like Liza Doolittle, of My Fair Lady. So much about her has changed since we first met over two years ago. Nevertheless, 182

Our Lifelong Love Affair her wrought iron character and values have not budged an inch, nor will they.

As we studied the menu Maria remarked that her stomach had given her problems the night before.”I made the boys beans and chiles for their main meal, (lunchtime), and I just had to have a little taste. Oh, I suffered last night with pain in my stomach.”

Marge and I scolded her in a loving way and reminded her that she is not to eat “ frijoles” and “chiles” at all. “I know, but they tasted so good.” In light of her problems the night before, Maria ordered the chicken soup with white rice while Marge and I had the quesadillas with sour cream and shredded lettuce. Sanborns used to be Dennys in Tijuana. Their food is in the same quality range as Cocos and Dennys here in SD. ​​The restaurant was not crowded and we were shown to a table with a view of the airport and a soccer field. Maria’s sigh of pleasure was noticeable and we understood completely that this was to be a very happy day for her; and for us! Marge and I sipped on our beers and snacked on taco chips while Maria had her coke. “May I have a chip, David?” Yes, but only one, remember your stomach. “Do you see that soccer field, that is where Manuel plays each Saturday? He walks there from our room early in the morning to practice.” Quite a walk for him, a good two miles each way.

As the temperature hovered near 100 degrees, we ate in a quiet, comfortably air-conditioned room, a world apart from her ovenlike room. The little fan we brought to her a few weeks back only serves to move the hot air around. To Maria and the boys, it is a gift from heaven. The food was good and Maria finished all of her soup. Understandably, she was very hungry. Maria, what about your efforts to obtain the lot, Marge asked. “ I have talked with the governor’s secretary and he told me to call this week to obtain an appointment to see him; Senor Osuna Millan is his name. When I do get to see him I will bring my boys and all my tax papers 183

DAVID ROWNTREE and the like. The secretary told me that the governor has helped many people obtain their land.” This method may be more helpful than our depending on the dentist and his lawyer friends. We faxed copies of Maria’s papers to this “ lawyer “ ten days ago and still no response. When I saw his name I lost any optimism that may have seeped into our hopes of assistance from these people.

Gabriel Preciado. He and the dentist came to Maria’s room over one year ago and after talking with her at length, promised her their help. So much for these two! They will be entered into the same category as the three orthotists. There must be a name for this group but I cannot reach it now and if I could, no doubt it would be unprintable. There is a phrase in Spanish that fits these types of people. “Dichos pero no hechos” – words but no deeds.

It is six o’clock already, we must leave for Pablo’s shop.

Carlos and Pablo had not arrived yet but Alicia and Yareli welcomed us enthusiastically. Only our second meeting with them but they seem like old friends. Alicia even introduced us to other shopkeepers in the area. Yareli had just finished her first day of school and she was excited about her busy day. At age seven she has no trouble reading and writing. A common feat in the US but still somewhat rare in Mexico. The two men pulled up short. They had been in San Diego today, finishing Maria’s braces. And finished they were; strong, light-weight, and fitting her legs perfectly! If such things could be beautiful, these braces were just that. Maria was very tentative as she hopped off Pablo’s table. Carlos cautioned her to walk slowly and carefully until she became used to these new braces.” Look, Magie, I am almost as tall as you. I have grown over two centimeters.” (about an inch). All these many months Maria had joked with Marge that someday the two would be equal in height.

Though Maria is a few inches shy of five feet, in our eyes she has always been tall; from the time we first met at the border, to 184

Our Lifelong Love Affair our first luncheon invitation to her room, to this day when she dragged her crippled legs across Pablo’s shop. “The braces feel very good. I will be careful walking until I am used to them.”

Before we left Matamoros Norte Marge mentioned to Carlos about an appointment for Maria in October in San Diego. In that way, we would be able to celebrate her birthday. He had no opposition to the idea and we will call him for the date. At the moment it looks like 10 October and that date will coincide with Meg and Dak’s visit. They have not yet met Maria.

It was nearly dark when we arrived back at #35 and the boys were anxious to see their mother and her new braces. It was a slow and tentative walk from the car to her room; less than twenty feet but a struggle. As we hugged her and said our goodbyes, Maria repeated her plea that we do not worry about her. She knows that our concern for her is always on our minds. We will call Luz Maria first before we come again. Luz has been a heaven-sent friend to all three of us.

Sept.8 It had been two weeks and we were anxious to see how Maria was doing with her braces. Marge packed a frozen chicken for the family and I stuffed a wheelchair into the rear of the car. On our last visit, Maria told us that someone had stolen her wheelchair.

Can you imagine what a sad excuse for a human being would do such a thing? We read about such events in the papers but until it happens to you or someone you know it is hard to describe. Jim and Jane had an almost new chair and they graciously gave it to Maria. Her friends in RB always come to her aid.

It was a sunny not too hot day and after our greetings, we sat outside her room. It was time for our chatting session. Maria loves these moments with her American family. As is her custom she 185

DAVID ROWNTREE had purchased beer and chips for us. I had argued with her on past visits about buying the beer but she would not be deterred. She was entertaining her guests and I am finally accepting her gesture.

“You brought me a wheelchair. Thank you, it looks very well.”

(There is that new reference again. Marge tells me that most people like to receive something new. Validation of one’s worth?) Jaime fixed my old chair but it broke and I cannot use it. This one is wonderful.” This almost new chair will quickly become aged after a few trips to the “ linea “ over those rough streets. Maria, we are making plans for you to come to our house next month to celebrate your birthday. Can you spend two nights with us? “ I love your house, it is like a palace, so clean, so white. Yes, I will be happy to come and stay with you and Magie. I want my house to be just like yours. Whatever Magie says about my house is fine with me.” But Maria, this will be your home and you must decide on your colors and decorations. “No, no, whatever Magie says is ok with me. I have called the governor’s office many times but the line is always so busy I cannot reach his secretary.” Marge suggested to Maria that she go to the governor’s office in person. Take your lunch with you, wear your old braces, lest someone thinks you are wealthy, don’t use makeup and wear an older dress. Just sit there until you can make an appointment to see him. And remember, cry when it is necessary.” I will do that, Magie. Friday, Emanuel and I will go to his office. I will ask Manuel’s teacher to excuse him on Friday.”

Maria is always happy to do whatever she can to help our cause. As I sit here and reflect on her task I realize what a huge undertaking this must be for her. She has already made these trips several times. Just getting on and off the bus with her chair is so very difficult with only a twelve-year-old to accompany her.

Before the boys exploded on the scene Maria asked us to come into her room and see her tv. The other old, large one, was on its last legs. She was so proud to show us this “new tv”. “Manuel and 186

Our Lifelong Love Affair I went to the swap meet this morning and I saw this nice little tv.

‘How much,’ I asked the lady? $40 she told me. I cannot afford that much, how about $35? ‘Done’, she said. We hurried home and the boys’ father went back to get it. What do you think Magie, did I get a bargain? And, the set also has a radio.” She knows Marge is a bargain hunter and wanted her reaction. Well done, Maria, you made a good deal. The picture is good and she receives several channels.” What about President Clinton, what is happening with him? The airplane crash in Halifax was terrible.” Maria knows our views on politicians and governments. They are all the same. In the past, we have urged Maria to watch the news every day. She does and is well aware of all that is going on in the world. When the old tv was not working Maria played the old radio Jim gave her.

Her mind is very busy these days; new braces, trips to RB, plans for her house, her American family. Debutants have their coming-out parties. So also is Maria’s coming out.

Any concerns of ours over Maria’s braces were unfounded. She is delighted with them; they are very comfortable and she has quickly gained confidence in them. The effort is still very great for her to maneuver around her room but she is managing much better. The boys flew into the room with all their school books and started the routine that is the same the time world over; “ I’m hungry, what is there to eat? “ Maria went to her routine of getting them out of their uniforms before any food was eaten. It seemed that they were in and out in a flash, gone to play soccer. If their homework was not completed it surely will be this evening. Maria is a tough master in these affairs. Mark and Meg can attest that their mother was equally stern.

Please remember, Maria, that the funds for your house are still coming in and that next month we should have enough to start the building. “I know, David, I must do something about my lot.”

Recently we have received more estimates on the construction 187

DAVID ROWNTREE costs and now have a good idea of the amount we will need. “til our next visit keep well my friend, we love you. “Egualmente, David, egualmente, Magie. I will wait in the doorway and send you kisses.”

13 Sept. Sunday This was an unplanned trip to Mariano but there were several necessary visits to make. Berenice’s wedding is next week and I needed directions to the ceremony. We had Raul’s school gift and our gifts for his great success in the 5th grade. He now is in his last year of primary school. This is the critical year for most of the children in Mexico. He shows no sign of changing his fine performance this year. With little or no encouragement at home, Raul is a wonder. Next, we wanted to see Prisciliana and find out about David’s last Shriners’ appointment. Lastly, a quick stop at el Lago to see Patricia.

The road down to Mariano is so terrible that once the rains begin we will not travel there until the spring. There are no drains in the area and consequently, the road is muddy the year around.

Elva, Karina, Raul, and several cousins were just finishing their meal. They urged us to come in and we picked up on all the news in the community. Karina had returned to her mother’s house after several years. They seem to get along just fine now. Grandmother Leonila was there also. She had been quite ill but looked good today. Raul was his usual polite, quiet self, unlike his brothers Meliton and Hector. No great loss that these two were no longer living at Elva’s. We were quite surprised that Elva did not invite us to lunch; perhaps she did not have enough money. It was ok we would find another place to have lunch. “David, when are you and Margarita coming to my house for lunch? It has been a very long time.” She acts sad and looks to put a guilt trip on us. I looked at my calendar and Marge said the end of November was good. Don’t 188

Our Lifelong Love Affair forget now, mark your calendar. Marge will bring a cake at that time to celebrate Elva’s birthday. As we were leaving I motioned Raul to come outside with us. I gave him the money gift toward school expenses and our gift of a calculator and a pen. The money comes from a person who has subsidized him for several years. By this time it acts as an insensitive veto to his mother that she keep him in school. This money is for your school needs only; I wanted him to realize that it was for him and not any other family member.

He was very appreciative of the whole situation. Raul is the last hope in this family for any extended amount of schooling.

189

DAVID ROWNTREE

SECOND BIRTHDAY

October 10

T

hanks to our good friend Carlos, the orthotist, Maria was able to celebrate her birthday at our home again this year. Carlos wrote the appointment letter so Maria

could obtain a one-day entry pass. It was to be another memorable birthday for the little Indian girl who never had any party her whole life until last year.

Since Marge was preparing for the two-day festival, I went down to # 35 alone to pick up Maria. She was ready and waiting as I drove up, dressed in a pretty blue dress that was donated by one of our friends. Marge knew that it would be a good dress for her, color and size.” I have two more dresses packed in my bag, one for each night at your house. I wish to look my best for the guests.” Quite an understatement for her. She dresses very well even when going to the border. We sailed through INS without incident.” What is this colonia called?” Chul a Vista. Next, we will come to La Mesa, University, and on and on. That mind does not wish to miss one little event or experience. Her conversation has increased dramatically in this past year. I will speak to that subject later on in this entry. Welcome home, Maria, welcome home.” Magie, Magie, Magie, here I am. “ The two embraced for a long time. The bond grows stronger with each visit.”Your house is so beautiful, Magie, like a palace.” As yours will be someday, Maria. Maria decided to walk inside the house; her new braces have made walking much easier for her. She does very well and has great confidence in those wonderfully constructed braces.

Thanks again, Carlos and Pablo.

190

Our Lifelong Love Affair We took a light lunch on the patio and Maria took in the greenery, quietness, and chirping birds.” Are Jaime and Juanita coming also today?” Yes, they will join us for cake and coffee later today. Maria and Jim celebrate the same birthday. Marge had a beautiful chocolate, icecream cake resting in the freezer. Her work of art from yesterday Maria was quite content to sit and absorb the whole scene about her. ​​As the afternoon progressed, Maria asked Marge if she could go to her room and prepare for Jim and Jane’s visit. Thus began Maria’s long ritual of preparing herself. Who could ever begrudge her this luxury? Alone, complete privacy, your own bedroom, and bath. Take as much time as you wish, dear friend. And, she does!

Usually, we have to call her out. Jane and Jim were seated and conversing before Maria walked down the hall. She was wearing a beautiful print dress. Very proud of her acquisition as we heard later. All three hugged and renewed their friendship. It had been one year. J&J have grown very close to Maria. Through Marge and I have talked about every visit to Maria’s room, Jim has been there, he knows firsthand how this amazing lady is surviving and raising two fine boys. Words cannot describe her daily struggles.

“I must tell you about my dress. Every Thursday there is a bazaar close to my street. This week Manuel took me there very early. I found this dress and bought it quickly. I was so excited and love the colors. How much do you think I paid for it? ‘’ We had no idea and everyone guessed different prices.” No, no, you all are wrong.

I paid 15 pesos for this dress. Do you like it?” 15 pesos, $1.50! What an amazing buy! “This was a good bargain, right Magie? I know you always are looking for bargains.” The buy of the year. Everyone was amazed at her good fortune. She tried to describe to us that the pattern was slightly different at the shoulders. No one will ever notice the difference.

191

DAVID ROWNTREE Maria knows how fussy Marge is and how she takes care of her things.”I take good care of my things, right Magie?” Yes, yes, yes, we know you do. Marge sets examples for Maria and she is quick to learn and never forgets. That mind! More about that later.

After Jim and Jane left and while Marge was picking up the dishes, I asked Maria if she would like to take a stroll around the neighborhood. I gave her the flashlight, as she likes to play with it as we roll through the quiet, dark streets. On this clear night, the sky was full of stars. “Look, David, over there. That is Ursus and there is the North star. How beautiful the stars are.” I was quite taken back; I scarcely know where the moon is and this semi-literate girl is lecturing me about the heavens. Television is a great teacher but I think she has gone far beyond that medium in obtaining her vast store of knowledge.

On our last visit to #35, Maria talked about the planets and how her boys were teaching her their names. After we arrived back from our “ walk “, I drew out the nine little circles and named them for her. Then we discussed their nearness to the sun and how long their orbits take and their sizes. This just about exhausted my knowledge on the subject, but it gave Maria more info to store away in that steel-like mind. Our son, Mark, is like that. Everything enters and is filed away, never to be forgotten. Mark, like Maria, has obtained much of his knowledge from the self-teaching method.

As the evening wore on, Maria was still chatting and bringing up a variety of subjects. What a difference this past year has made in her personality and approach to life. Somehow the subject of her house came up and I mentioned that she will have two skylights in the house. I used the word, “domo”. “No, no, David, that is not correct. You look in the dictionary for the word, ‘tragaluz’, (literally meaning, to swallow the light). The word is there, look it up.” I did and it was. Am I missing something here? The so-called student turns the tables on the teacher. “There are many words 192

Our Lifelong Love Affair in the dictionary that people no longer use.’ parir ‘, meaning, to give birth is seldom used now. Most people use the phrase, ‘dar a luz’, (meaning to give light). “ Maria is a daily reader of the Bible.

Perhaps much of her knowledge comes from that ancient book. I would never challenge her on the subject of the Bible.

As our friendship has grown. Maria will correct me on my Spanish and sometimes will get impatient with my lack of the language. The other day after trying to get her point across, she quietly said, “he doesn’t know what I am talking about.” I understand that my friend and we had a good laugh. We, in turn, will correct her. The napkin goes here; use the fork when eating cake. Overall, Maria lacks little in the social graces. She says otherwise but we know better.

Finally, at eleven, Maria tired and announced she was going to bed. Usually, she retires at 8 pm, but tonight was exciting. She was celebrating her birthday with good friends and she was enjoying the nonstop chatting. Sleep well, friend, tomorrow we will have another fun day of celebration.

193

DAVID ROWNTREE

THE SECOND CELEBRATION

W

e all were very excited, Meg and Dave would be arriving soon; their first meeting with Maria.

Due to their work schedules, they would only

stay for the day. There would be plenty of time for the three to get acquainted. While Marge busied herself with another festive dinner, Maria and I chatted about a variety of subjects.” On the 15 of October, I am going to see the municipal governor about my lot.

I finally have an appointment to see him. It is so difficult to make any progress, with my lot. “They are at the point of depending upon Maria and her persistent struggles with the bureaucracy and Mario, who has promised to help with this lot business. We have great faith in Mario’s ability to accomplish just about any task set before him. Very soon, Maria, we will have enough money to build your house; a contractor seems less of a problem now, only that lot. We know that you are doing your part, Maria. Marge and I can not show ourselves at any of the government offices. Red tape and prices would skyrocket as soon as they saw the “gringos.”

“The other day Manuel said to me, ‘mommie, when I grow up I will take care of you and you will not have to go to the border anymore. ‘I told him what you and Magie say, “first you must go to school and become educated. That is most important. ‘I left my village in Guadalajara because I was determined that my boys would not grow up to be “donkeys.” No one in that village is educated, it is very poor there, l have many sad memories of that place. My father made our room with baked mud bricks and he used straw for the roof. Our floor was dirty. The few animals we had just roamed throughout the place and left their dirt all over. We were 15 children in that terrible place. (two later died). My oldest sister is sixty years old and she still lives there. I would never go back, too 194

Our Lifelong Love Affair many sad memories.” I told her again that those times were past and her life is much better now. “Thank God and thanks to you and Magie and my friends here in San Diego.”

Meg and Dave had arrived. As I introduced them Maria remarked how much Meg looks like her father. And, so very tall! Meg is not very tall but compared with Maria, she is. They chatted like sisters who had not seen each other in many years. Dave brushed up on his high school Spanish and dove into the chat.

Every few minutes Meg would call me for a translation. All in all, they had a great time chatting. Maria was forced to

wear

the same Saturday night dress because the pretty red dress she brought (new), was too tight through her shoulders. If you have seen any pictures of Maria, you can see that she is very stocky in that area. I kid her about being so muscular. “Before I had my chair my arms and shoulders were much bigger. Now that I use my chair so often I have become lazy. “Oh sure, you are so lazy.”

Dinner was almost ready and I went to pour the wine. Maria had bought two liters of a very good dry wine; Padre Kino. Mario served it at Berenice’s wedding and I remarked to Maria how good it was.” I will buy some for my birthday party to celebrate. “ I protested in vain, she had her mind made up. We can not deny her these few gifts that she insists on giving. As we approached the beautifully arranged dinner table, Maria remarked about the wine glasses.” These are so elegant, they are crystal, yes? ‘Marge was very impressed that Maria knew these forty-four-year-old glasses were crystal. Where does this lady learn the things she does? The stars, changing word usage, fancy dinner wares?

Since Maria loves chicken breasts, Marge made her California chicken supreme specialty. When I asked Maria to give the blessing before the meal, she said a short, beautiful prayer thanking God for His blessings and for her friends at this table. As the chatting continued at a slower pace, the five of us enjoyed the wonderful 195

DAVID ROWNTREE food. Maria was the center of attention and we enjoyed putting her in that position. She glowed in the fuss. The whipped cream coconut cake Maria gladly shared with Dave. After all, he celebrated a birthday this same week. As is our tradition on these occasions the gifts were opened after the meal. Meg and David gave Maria a beautiful covered ceramic casserole dish along with face lotion.

We gave her a little purse that she will carry on special events, perfume, and candy. Together with the twenty-dollar gift from Jane and Jim, Maria did very well.

Today had been a long tiring one for Maria, and she was now fading quickly. She barely finished her cake and soon announced that she was very tired and going to bed. No chatting until eleven this night. As she hugged Meg and Dave, Marge and I could see that in these few short hours the bond between them had grown strong and lasting. As she does with everyone, Maria had captured their love.

196

Our Lifelong Love Affair

RETURN TO #35

M

aria was awake when I called her at eight the next morning. After breakfast, we were to see Carlos at his office and then return to Otay before the boys

left for school. Carlos wanted to see Maria once more and to give her some pictures he took at Pablo’s shop. Though he was with a patient, Carlos came out and greeted us with a warm “hola’’. We thanked him again for a great job on the braces and for Maria’s visit to our house. Do you think next birthday time you might---? “ Yes, of course, we will make an appointment for Maria’s checkup.”

It took us a long time but we finally found a fine thoughtful person to make her braces.

The boys had scrubbed themselves when we arrived and were eating their lunch before the start of the afternoon session of school. Their father had stayed with them the weekend. Maria has her doubts about him and his reliability, yet he is quite good with the boys and he helps Maria daily with the hard cleaning and mopping. Since we have entered her life he has taken more interest in his children. I told Maria that I would talk to Jaime about a subject that was bothering her; that big, messy dog that he had brought to the lot. I explained about the dirt and flies and that dona Emilia also complained about the mess. He readily agreed to remove the dog. This is the third dog he has brought to her since we first met. He thinks that he is helping her.

You will have much to tell your friends at the border and Emilia about your second birthday celebration at our house. “I do not have the word to show my appreciation for what you and Magie have done for me on my birthday. It was like a dream those two days at your beautiful house. I just love your house, Magie. So clean and white. Also, I was so happy to meet Meg and David, finally.

197

DAVID ROWNTREE “Someday you will have your beautiful house, Maria. We promise you, we promise you.

We will see you within two weeks and remember you have a lunch date with us at Elva’s in November.” I will not forget, David, I never forget.”

198

Our Lifelong Love Affair

MARIA VISITS MARIANO

22 November

M

aria was ready and waiting for us when we arrived at her room. She is always ready for any appointments.

Today we were going back to Mariano Matamoros

again for a luncheon date; at Elva’s. Mariano is not Maria’s favorite place; the horrible roads, swirling dust, lack of greenery, and on and on. Maria knows why we continue to visit the area year after year. “The people are so nice and I like to meet your friends. But, it is such an ugly place. I like my Mesa Otay colonia.” We readily agree with her.

We must stop and see Mario before Elva. Mario knows about our problems with Maria’s lot and he has agreed to help in any way he can. Christopher came out and greeted us and then watched as Maria went through her process of getting out of the car. “ This is so hard for me and I must be a bother to you. “ She has said this many times before and always receives the same answer. I stand by the door and silently offer my help. “Sola, David, sola.” Mario greeted us warmly as we entered the house. Maria was visibly impressed with this beautifully decorated home. Montse was home from her American family. Her English has improved so much in the months she has spent in San Diego. Marge and I are very proud of Montse and her accomplishments. Mario immediately entered into a long conversation with Maria, instructing her on what she should do next to begin procedures on obtaining her land. Soon Christina came over and she and Marge entered into a busy round of chatting. Christina gave Marge a beautiful hand-made shawl from Mexico City. Christina’s birthday will be 199

DAVID ROWNTREE coming up in February and that will mean an invitation to our Rancho Bernardo Inn. When Mario had completed his instructions he promised to visit Maria the following Tuesday for more talks. Mario is our last hope for help with Maria and her land. Those other rich important people fell by the wayside months ago.

My business with Mario was short and pleasant; I gave him this year’s donation for the families. Two thousand dollars divided up between several of our needier friends. The Foundation has been a wonderful help over these past several years. It has no idea how many people have benefitted from these annual donations.

Elva was hardly aware that we arrived quite late for our lunch.

She is not a person who has an organized, scheduled life. Her house reflects that lifestyle also. Maria noticed but said nothing.

Raul and Malena welcomed us also; unfortune­ately, Karina was not at home. She had gone to Sinaloa with her grandmother. I’m sure that the two polio victims would have enjoyed each other’s company. Elva’s food presentation was not as good as other times.

No salad, no dessert, no ice, no soda. She often admonishes me for not coming to her house more, and then comes up with this meal. I understand her less and less as the years go by. If Karina were not our first Shriner’s kid, I think we would see even less of her. Our bond with Karina is a strong and lasting one.

Raul was a joy to behold, friendly, polite, and so interested in his education. He brought out his typewriter (used) and then proceeded to type a thank you note to Diane. He is the last hope for that family to finish school and escapes that lifelong drudgery one encounters in the factories. Malena had made the most dramatic change of all. She has grown to several inches, slimmed down, and is becoming a nice young lady. Hardly literate yet able to secure a job in one of the factories. Carolina, Elva’s sister, was also there and she helped to keep the conversation going. Maria, 200

Our Lifelong Love Affair of course, no longer has any problem along those lines. Whether in San Diego at our table, or in Mariano, Maria is equally at ease and loves to chat.

I asked Carolina if she would like to come up and visit us in January. She would, of course. Elva still has not been able to renew her passport. Sorry, Elva, Carolina will take your place. She is unhappy with that turn of affairs. I did not cause you to lose your passport, my friend. Carolina can come up with Priscilliana in January. We celebrate her birthday each year on January 4, Nancy’s day also. Nancy is studying English every Saturday.

Marge and I praise Nancy at every visit, she is a good girl and becoming more and more ambitious. A life sentence in the factory will not be her career. After we left Elva’s we stopped to see Priscilliana. Peche never attended school but she taught herself to read and write, to a small extent. I’ve written much about this fine lady and wonderful mother. Quiet, very observant, and ever considerate. It is Priscilliana who always calls us at Christmas and my birthday. No education, no money, but a world of class; the word was invented for this fine friend.

Priscilliana sat in the car as we talked about coming events and David’s return trip to Shriners. When I mentioned our annual trip down with the food/turkeys, she immediately invited John and me for lunch. I readily accepted. John became a regular visitor to Mariano and loves to go with me. Maria knows John and is anxiously awaiting his visit.

As we made our way slowly down Calle Uxmal to leave our friends, I saw Mary Angeles, one of my stucco students from the Carter week. She was busy laying cement blocks to connect her sanitary drain to the main. I called her, “hi my student, how are you?” “Hola, David, you remember me that week?” Silly question.

Mary and Juan, her husband, and their kids, Faviola, and Freddie, are also on the donation list, and the Christmas food list. They 201

DAVID ROWNTREE are sacrificing much to send those children to private school. A good investment is that family.

Our motto over the years has not changed; try to make life a little better for our friends to the south.

202

Our Lifelong Love Affair

GUARDIAN ANGEL

F

or several months now something strange has been taking place in our lives, Maria’s included. At this point,I have decided that these events should be included in our

story of Maria Martinez Gomez.

Because of the many visits to Maria, the lunches, the picnics,

and the brace fittings, I neglected to mention our other major happening this year; the drive to raise funds for Maria’s new house.

Our first mailing went out in July. The responses were slow and few. By this time of the year, most businesses had already given their quota. Naturally, we were discouraged. We had sent out a wonderful letter and very descriptive photos. In early August Marge suggested that we might ask our pastor if we could include the letter in the Sunday bulletin; a one-time appeal. What a great idea! Charity begins at home, right? Fr. Lloyd was agreeable. The letter would be included in the August 16 bulletin. 1400 letters.

The response was immediate and overwhelming. The checks came in every week to the church office. Everyone was so excited, the secretary, the accountant, Fr. Lloyd, and most of all, Maria’s American family. Between August and December, we have received over five thousand dollars from this request. Two checks for five hundred dollars, several for one hundred, and dozens of fifty and twenty-five dollar donations. Other donations were coming in and we were finally on the way. By the end of November, we had exceeded our goal of $28,000 by fifty percent.

During one of our early meetings with Bill, the accountant, he gave us an envelope for Maria. It contained several hundred pesos.

“Someone put it in the Sunday collection, no name, no envelope.”

Bill declared. Marge said that Maria must have a guardian angel 203

DAVID ROWNTREE watching over her. I took the pesos to Maria and she questioned why someone in RB would be using pesos. I had no answer for her. Since August this has happened several times, never the same amount never in an envelope. Yesterday I saw Bill and he gave me another assortment of pesos. This time with a few coins included.

To date, we have received over $180.00 in pesos.

I have conveyed Marge’s idea to Maria, that her guardian angel is watching over her. ls there a better explanation?

204

Our Lifelong Love Affair

LA DOCTORA

Dec.6

W

e had not seen Maria Elena, la Doctora, and her girls since they spent a weekend here several months ago. Today, Marge and I and Maria were

going to their house for a luncheon. We were so pleased that this family invited Maria. We want her to meet as many of our friends as possible. She needs social interaction. Spending days on end in that damp room, alone for the most part, must be very depressing.

Besides, Maria loves to meet people and her conversation skills are improving more and more. Do I sound like Dr. Dolittle again?

The three girls quickly came out to the car to greet us. They made no notice of Maria’s difficult task to get out of the car. It is very hard for her but she manages each time, “sola, David, sola.” I still stay close just in case. Maria’s personality quickly overcomes any shock that one would have first encountered her physical handicap.

Two of Maria Elena’s children were there and they quickly took to Maria. Our old-time friend Lola and her daughter Sandy were there also. This was a nice surprise. Lola was the first friend we made at the Carter project, the very first day the construction began. Sandy had grown from almost a baby to a lovely young lady in her last year of Junior high, and will, no doubt, be heading for college in a few years. Her brother Juan is a senior at the Univer. of Tijuana.

The other brother, Salvador, is in college studying to be a teacher.

Diana and her husband, Alejandro were there also. A fun crowd.

We all sat around the big dining room table, ate peanuts, drank wine, and chatted. Maria brought the wine. In her room, she gave me two more bottles of that good Padre Kine wine and said the 205

DAVID ROWNTREE third was going to “ la Doctora. “ I was prepared to tell Maria about bringing a small gift to the hostess when she told me that she was doing just that.” You and Magie taught me that. “ Maria learns quickly and remembers all. How many educated people do we know who are ignorant of these simple common courtesies?

We are so pleased to be welcomed into the homes of so many of our Mexican friends. I asked the ladies if they would like to return to RB sometime for another visit. There was not the least bit of hesitation, “yes, of course!”

206

Our Lifelong Love Affair

“I LOVE YOU MAGIE”

January 5

I

t has been one month tomorrow since my last entry on the story of Maria and others. I failed to finish the visit to “ la doctora’s” and our fine luncheon there. Then came our

yearly trip to Mariano and other places with food and turkeys.

John S. came with me again this year and we had two days of great fun and renewed old friendships. John is a favorite to many of our Mexican friends. I must return to these events at a later time.

What happened today must be put down on paper while the event is still fresh in my mind. To hasten things along I’ll start at the end rather than the beginning. Our luncheon date with Maria at a fine Italian restaurant in Mesa Otay was a success all around.

As we were preparing to leave her room and I was making several trips out to the car with things to go back to SD, I heard “ I love you, Magie, “in English. Manuel is always saying English words and phrases. He shows a genuine interest in learning English. Upon my return, Marge asked me if I had heard what was said. “Maria just told me that she loved me. I almost fell off my chair. “What did you tell Marge? “ I love you, Magie. “ Do you understand the words, Maria? “Si, te quiero, Magie.” She never ceases to amaze us; the little Indian girl has made her breakthrough in her desire to learn English. “I want very much to learn English so I can talk with Magie. “It has started.

Maria was waiting when we arrived at her room at 2 pm. We had a date to take her to lunch. Immediately she handed me a fist full of one-dollar bills. Is this $30 enough for the lunch, David?”

207

DAVID ROWNTREE I started to protest. “No, no, remember we agreed that we would each pay half of the bill. “I remembered and ceased to argue. $30 is more than you need. “You keep the money and pay my share. “ Giuseppe’s Italian restaurant is close by in Mesa Otay and we arrived shortly. On our last trip Marge checked out the place and we decided to try it. It was highly recommended by nearby businesses. For a 2:30 luncheon on a Tuesday, it was very busy; a good sign. Whenever we enter a restaurant in Tijuana, we are greeted very enthusiastically by many of the staff. Apparently, we look like typical rich gringos. Such was the case today.

“Did you and Magie like my gifts?” Indeed we did. I received a little spotted dog with a head that nods up and down. The kind one would put on their car dashboard. Marge had a little plywood model of a Mexican cantina; complete with bottles of tequila and beer. We see these at the border all the time. In our eyes, these two gifts were like a million dollars. They were received with all the love and friendship in which they were given.

Our “ Italian “ meals had arrived. Marge and I had the veal and Maria a nice salad with roasted chicken pieces. The food was very good, not real Italian, but rather, “Mexican Italian.” We had a pizza bread that was excellent. Maybe next time we will try their pizza. The three of us cleaned our plates and I ordered a piece of cheesecake with three forks. Most restaurants we have frequented serve their coffee with hot water and instant coffee.

When the waiter brought these items I said that we wanted the other type of coffee.” Oh, you mean the “American coffee? “ Yes, the “gringo coffee.” The place was busy the entire time we were there and as we were leaving, I said to Felix, the manager, that we would return again and everything was just fine. The entire bill was only $27 so I left a rather large tip. Maria’s $30 was more than enough. She argued that I should keep the remainder but I would hear none of that story.

208

Our Lifelong Love Affair Back at #35 Prieto, we still had some more Christmas doings to take care of. Diane and her cousin Gail had bought more outfits for Maria’s doll, Josefina. Each included a little book about Josefina’s life. “Please keep these clothes with my doll at your house, I do not have the room and my birds might eat at the clothes. Do you remember that Peri ate part of Josefina’s box before you took it back to your house?” Someday, my friend, you will have your Josefina back with you in your very own house with space for everything. With that, she let out a familiar sigh of anticipation.

Maria’s share of the Christmas food drive was so much that I take her some each trip. This time I brought canned goods; jelly, peanut butter, cookies, and fruits, and Marge brought her a 10-pound ham. “Thank you so much, Magie, we will have meat for many days. I am so thankful for all that you have done for me and my boys. Thank God for our friendship!” I say amen to that.

So it was that this second celebration of Christmas ended with those wonderful first words in English; “ I love you, Magie.”

209

DAVID ROWNTREE

MONTSERRAT LEAVES

B

efore I comment on the title of this entry I must relay another event in the life of Maria. Bill, the parish accountant, and his wife, Pat, have been very supportive

in our efforts to raise the funds for Maria’s house. Marge and I felt a box of candy was in order to show our appreciation. No sooner had I given the candy to Pat, than Bill came over and gave me a fist full of pesos. “Maria’s guardian angel has come through again. “$62 in pesos. That brings the total to $242. “All I know is that it comes from the Sunday noon mass.” How we wish that we could meet the person and give thanks! “That money will come in very handy, Maria can go to the occultist, “ Marge commented. Maria had complained in the past that she was having problems reading the small print in newspapers. She needs to be able to read since her new English studies include a text.

Last August Montserrat came up to stay with a Poway family. Since that time she has made great strides in obtaining a fine knowledge of English. Her performance at the Eyer home, Poway high school, and night school classes have all added to her accomplishment. Not only are we very happy for her, but her family is extremely proud of her. In fact, next month she will receive an award at school for being the most conscientious student in her class. I’m sure one of the three families will have some sort of a party for her. Last week Montse took tests at the university to qualify her for entry into the English language school. In February she will be studying English each morning for four hours and then her regular courses in the afternoon. Since her father works in the university system, she will attend tuition-free.

After her tests on Monday, Montse came out to our house for a long-promised spaghetti dinner. Marge made her a blue cheese 210

Our Lifelong Love Affair dressing, Montse’s favorite. We had a fun evening as she is like the rest of the Montenegro family, talkative, and very sociable. We will miss her but she promised to return for a visit this summer.

Some pages back I mentioned our food collection. For the past several years, eight to be exact, we have collected food donations for our friends in Tijuana. Friends, relatives, and customers make up the list of people Marge calls each year after Thanksgiving. We average about 35 calls and receive 30-32 responses each year.

During our first years, 3-4 families were involved in this collection. This year 17 families received either food, turkeys, or candy. The seven neediest received the largest amounts. Five hundred dollars were also donated this year. We have lots of fun at Costco buying all the treats for these people. In the past, we stressed the staples for our friends, rice, beans, and canned vegetables. This year, we decided to concentrate on items that are seldom seen by many people; cookies, candies, fruits, canned tuna, meats, etc… 1998, marks the third year that my good friend, John S. has made the trip with me. We have such a good time and he loves our friends as we do. This year we were again invited to Prisciliana’s house. Peche is a wonderful cook as Marge and I have witnessed many times. Unfortunately, Nancy was not home. She and Heydi were in Vera Cruz visiting her aunt. Nancy is studying English and I wanted to chat with her a little.

As in the past, it took two trips down to distribute the food, turkeys, and candies, to the families. Early Saturday am, John and I made our way to Pablo’s shoe shop in Matamoros and then to Cruz and Leonardo’s house in the same area. Then on to Christina, Mario, Peche, Maricela, Elva, Mary los Angeles, Karina, Ulises and Berenice, Jair and Isabel, and on and on. It was a long day for us. The next morning we were off to “La Doctora’s”, Patricia Chavez, and saving the best ‘til last, Maria. This year I divided Maria’s into several smaller portions since she does not have the 211

DAVID ROWNTREE room. The boys’ gifts, sweets for all, and a few gifts for Maria.

The biggest turkey of all, 17#, went to the family that at one time had the very least. Later she told me that it lasted for five days. At this point, the gifts were not on Maria’s mind. She wanted to talk with John, and he with her. A year’s absence melted in minutes. It was like they had never been apart. John was duly impressed with her increased conversational skills, more outgoing personality, and general interest in him and his life. John should have seen Maria with reading glasses. I loaned her a pair once and she looked every bit at the teacher. My comment made her blush but I’m sure it was appreciated.

The visit passed well. The friendship was further strengthened and John promised to return again to visit Maria. John was very devoted to Mother Theresa and her work; even traveling to far off India to help her firsthand. Mother is gone now but her work continues. Maria is with us and her influence is felt by us every day and by all who enter that damp, darkroom.

212

Our Lifelong Love Affair

VILLA FONTANA

L

ast week on 28 January, while Marge was still recovering from the flu, I took a quick run down to see Maria. It had been several weeks and I had some clothing and

food for the family. She knew I was coming down and had two box lunches ready when I arrived. As I ate the very good chiles relleno, Maria told me that her lady friend at the border told her about a new housing project going on in a nearby colonia. She and her husband had bought a house there. The prices start at $20k. Not too bad. She was sounding quite enthused about this news. We all were very wary of the long stalling methods the government was using regarding her lot; for over two years now.

Marge and I were happy that this was Maria’s idea. We did not want to appear like we were pushing her out of Mesa Otay. “I have asked my friend for directions to this place, it is called Villa Fontana, (translated roughly country house by a stream) and all the houses there are new, (remember our discussions about new), and there is pavement and no mud. It is very easy to find and not very far from here. “ I hardly needed to ask the obvious, would you like to visit this area on Sunday? “Oh, yes, I would very much like to see this place. And Magie will come?” Yes, of course, if she is fully recovered from her illness. And, if we do not get any big rain! Two hurdles to overcome. After our trip to Villa Fontana, we will go to a restaurant for lunch. “And, David, I will pay for the lunch!” I hardly murmured a word of disapproval. We talked in that terrible room for three hours, neither of us noticing the cold and dampness creeping into that prison-like place. Maria, please put on this jacket. It was a donation almost new and her color. Originally it was for Manuel, but I decided that she needed it more.

213

DAVID ROWNTREE As I became aware of the approaching darkness. I decided it was time to leave.” I enjoyed our chat so very much and I am so excited about these little houses.” You have no idea how excited I am and Marge will be.” I am always so happy when you and Magie come to visit me. Often I become depressed. “ Your depression is going to vanish very soon, my friend.

214

Our Lifelong Love Affair

VILLA FONTANA VISITED

I

t might be Super Bowl Sunday with millions anticipating the game but that excitement pales in comparison to what the three of us felt as we drove out Ave. Las Bellas Artes

heading for Villa Fontana. “David, drive straight until you come to the gasoline station. Then turn right. It is as easy as that.” I was in unfamiliar territory and nothing is easy when driving thusly.

Despite taking a wrong turn we found the development. The large sign stated that over 3000 homes were built here in 1998.20,000 to come! ! While seeking the office, we toured the streets to see what was being done by the new homeowners. Look, over there!

An empty house, let’s check it out. I think it was the 2 bedroom model. All the houses are built with cement block, stucco on both sides, clay tile roofs, and ceramic tile floors except the carpeted bedrooms. Quite impressive. Very small but everyone down here lives in cramped quarters with the exception of the rich.

Maria was walking today and this exercise was winding her, I thought. No, it was the beauty of these little houses that was taking her breath away. Can you imagine what Maria was experiencing walking through a house with a bathroom, bedrooms, a kitchen, and thinking that one day she may actually live in such a place?

Marge and I were beside ourselves. I commented that a twobedroom place might be enough but Marge quickly added that Maria needed an extra room for the boys. The living room was very small and the third bedroom could be used for a mini family room. Later we saw the larger model and it was just right for this family that had never lived with running water or a toilet or privacy.

“A shower, how wonderful! My boys have never showered except with a garden hose.” Let’s get over to the office and find out about this project. What a crowd was milling around the office! These 215

DAVID ROWNTREE places were selling like the proverbial “ hotcakes”. The receptionist told me that one of the salesmen spoke English, and she moved us to the head of the line when I told her that our lady friend was paying cash. Well, the salesman did not speak English, but we toughed through the interview and got almost all the information we needed. Marge wanted to give a check to hold the house but he said no to the personal check. I thought he said that no US checks would be accepted, but that was cleared up a few days later.

The price of the three-bedroom house was $25,000. This was well below the $42k that was donated over the months. This will serve as a cushion considering Maria has nothing to take to this new house, except their beds. Saturday, February 6, we are scheduled to make the first payment on Maria’s house. This phase of Maria’s story will take many entries for months to come. What a joy it will be to put down her feelings and reactions to the beginning of a new life for the family. The braces were an exciting story but the slipper from the Prince was a perfect fit and so the Indian girl from Guadalajara will never, ever be the same.

We were still bursting with excitement when we reached Giuseppe’s restaurant. This second trip brought us all kinds of attention. The “rich Americans” had returned. I tire of telling people that we are not rich, to no avail. Maria loves the attention and that makes it worthwhile. We sipped wine, tasted the bread, and made lots of talk. Finally, we had to order our meals and then continued on with the topic of the day, the topic of her lifetime, the house, the house, the new house! The three of us shed our share of tears for joy. “Oh, I am so full of emotion, I am so happy.

This is a dream I could never even think of my whole life. I have no words to show my appreciation. May I tell my boys the news?” Yes, of course. They are your family, they must share this great news.

The excellent food took a distant second place with what we had shared today.

216

Our Lifelong Love Affair “Manuel, Javy, come. I have something to tell you. David, Magie, and I looked at new houses today and I hope to buy one. Just think, you will have your own bedroom, a bathroom for the first time, a roof without holes.” The boys were very quiet, there were no hoots of joy, later maybe, when the idea sinks in. There will be little sleep in that cement block room this night.

Maria, Saturday we will go to Villa Fontana and pay the down payment and then over to “Zona Rio”, to look at the furniture. Then another lunch, ok? “Yes, I am so excited, I will pay for our lunch.”

This was not a question. Her pride runs deep and strong. We will never compromise it.

As I finish this entry, the rain is falling quite heavily. Forty miles from my dry, warm room, Maria Martinez Gomez sits on her bed, three buckets about the room collecting water while she dreams of that little white house so very close to a realization.

Before that luncheon date on Feb.6, we had some important business in Tijuana. Namely, furniture. Maria has none to take to the new house. Marge wanted to start looking. We went to two stores in Matamoros without any luck. Then we went back to the furniture store in Zona Rio, where the beds were purchased two years ago. Without a doubt the best place in Tijuana. Our friend Elizandro was there and greeted us with genuine friendliness. He remembered Maria and the beds. So it began, Elizandro and Marge looking at everything in the store. It was quite a project and I know that I simplify what went on. Even the owner and his son were out on the floor helping. Needless to say, Marge impressed them with her overall knowledge of furniture. She picked out several sofas, love seats, and dining sets and then informed the gentlemen that we would return on Saturday with Maria; it was her decision on what pieces would be purchased. We notified the church about the checks for Saturday and that was that. Great cooperation from San Rafael. I must have checked my wallet a hundred times to make 217

DAVID ROWNTREE sure I had the two checks, $8000 for the house and $400 for a deposit on the furniture. I’ve got them so let’s go! ! Maria was waiting and ready and off we went to Villa Fontana. I still got mixed up on the turn-off but I’ll get it right one day. Ivan, the salesman was happy to see us, why not, who pays cash in this part of the world? Ivan does not speak any English, he doesn’t have to these days; the houses were selling like crazy. I struggled through our many questions and he answered most. On our next trip down I discovered that his boss, Javier, is bilingual. That was a blessing.

Anyway, Maria signed all the papers as she was becoming closer and closer to being a real homeowner. She was very excited as were Marge and I. Later Ivan took us out to the project to see the house.

Last week there were six unsold, today, two. “Number 4 or the one down the street, number 9. “Thanks, Ivan. A huge selection. It did not matter to Maria, she was on cloud nine. Marge decided that number four would be it. Remember our first trip down and we were driving the neighborhood? We stopped near here to look at the houses and met a very friendly man, a Calimax salesman and bilingual. I think that he lives very near to this house. Wouldn’t it be nice if she ended up living next door to this man?

Late afternoon was rapidly approaching as we arrived at the furniture store. Marge took Maria around to inspect the items she had selected. We both knew that when Maria saw the beautiful love seat, she would fall in love with it. A beautiful piece of furniture.

The one problem was that the love seat was not a set, and she needed a sofa. This store sells everything in sets. They do not like to break a set. Don’t worry, Elizandro, we’ll pay extra if need be. Mr. Adler, the owner was on hand again for assistance. An interesting gentleman. His parents came to Mexico 70 years ago.

They were European Jews and perhaps had a premonition of what was to come. Mr. Adler was born and raised in Tijuana and speaks English without the slightest trace of a Mexican accent. When he 218

Our Lifelong Love Affair and Marge got together a deal was in the making. “You like that green sofa, correct? It is part of a set but we can do something for you. It is genuine leather made in Italy.” It was beautiful. I wish we could have bought the loveseat also, but Maria does not have the room. During all of this Maria was seated on a lovely sofa taking in all the dealings. She was very at ease and appeared that this was just one of her many visits to a very elegant store. The oak dining set was an easy choice. “What else can we do for you?”

Marge needed to see lamps and end tables but our friend Mr. Hadler,did not have anything along those lines.

A monumental task this; shopping almost exclusively in Mexico in order to furnish Maria’s house. She has no idea what Magie and David are embarking on.

The Indian girl from Guadalajara does have a few items; a loveseat made in North Carolina, the furniture capital of the US, and an all-leather sofa made in Italy, quite possibly the leather center of the world. On 14 February, we took a short local trip to pick up Chicago cutlery and American Echo stainless steel. Quite a cosmopolitan this friend of ours.

On 18 February, we made another whirlwind trip down to Villa Fontana and the furniture store; the second payment on Maria’s house and the balance on the furniture. What fun, two weeks and almost $19,000 spent!! Enough left to buy everything she needs, new.

Our very special friend has dragged her twisted body through 35 years of poverty and deprivation. She has survived this sad, hard life to raise two fine boys and keep her family together. Thanks to the charity of many, Maria’s life has changed forever. “Magie, Magie, Magie, I do not have the words to express my appreciation.”

219

DAVID ROWNTREE

THE LOT

O

n February 18, we stopped at Maria’s room before going on to Villa Fontana. The real estate people needed a copy of Maria’s birth certificate. She had the

copy ready but was very excited about something.” I must talk to you and Magie about my lot. Has Mario called you, David?” He had not.” Mario stopped by my room this week to tell me that the government land office will transfer this lot to my name. What do you think?” What do we think? What do we think? After more than two years, something is being done. And, Maria is just becoming a homeowner! What do we think? We think this is wonderful! ! You are rapidly becoming a very well-established landowner. And, bank customers. And, owner of world-famous furniture. This lot will be a wonderful insurance policy for you. Believe it or not, these lots in Mesa Otay sell for $25,000. No improvements, just the raw land. “ I wanted to talk with you and Magie and get your idea on this new happening.” Wonderful, Maria, wonderful, go for it. “ I already have someone who will rent this room for $30 per month. That is the amount of the payments. Jaime, (the boys’ father) will stay here.

He is very happy since he is paying $50 per month now.” Jaime has been an integral part of his sons’ lives. This is very important and we would never try to change that relationship. Besides, he helps Maria with the heavy cleaning and other difficult tasks. He sees how much we are doing for the three and he really appreciates that help. In his own way, he will do his part. Maria has far outgrown Jaime and as she often says,” Jaime is like one of the kids. He has not matured.” Nevertheless, he loves his boys.

I cannot imagine what our next surprise will be in this continuing adventure with Maria Martinez, the angel we met at the border.

220

Our Lifelong Love Affair

THE KEY

H

ow pleased we were to add another name to the growing description of our special friend, Maria Martinez Gomez; Maria, the Angel at the border, the

little Indian girl from Guadalajara. Now she is a homeowner, “una duena”.

Yesterday at lunch we gave her the key to her little house. Her tears were close by as she poured forth her words of thanks and gratitude.” My first house, my very first house, is like a palace. I will take good care of my house. I promise you, Magie and David.”

We know, we have no concern about that.

It has been five weeks since the last entry in this story. So much has happened and so many trips to Villa Fontana and meetings with contractors that February 18 has raced to March 29. The three house payments were made and except for repairs and cleaning of her house, Maria will sign the contract and all will be official.

In the interim, we have hired a fine contractor to do the many necessary projects at her house. The builder does not do any of the exterior improvements and so it is that Sebastian Olmedo has been busy building and stuccoing walls, fabricating security bars on the windows and doors, and pouring concrete in front and back. All these bars and walls are vital to a safe home in Mexico. He is a fine worker and very dependable. How fortunate we are to have found him!

Carmen Leticia Duenas has been another great find. She is the lady who decorated all the model houses at Villa Fontana, a very fine and knowledgeable lady. Note Lety’s last name and its meaning.

She will be helping Marge with many of the interior projects. Lety in turn has given us the name of the kitchen cabinet contractor and the window treatment lady. On March 29, we are to meet these 221

DAVID ROWNTREE two. New houses in Mexico, at least the ones we have seen, are built without kitchens. Only the plumbing is roughed in, nothing else. Nor are stoves provided. This is a very expensive addition for the new homeowners.

On March 27, we drove out to Villa Fontana to check on the status of Maria’s house. It is very frustrating dealing with this housing developer. The house needed cleaning and several repairs before Maria can sign the contract. Each trip we hear that old familiar tune,” no problem, no problem. “A friend from Habitat once told me that “ no problem “means” I have no problem, but you may very well have a problem.”

1 June Almost two months since the last entry in this story of Maria and so much to write. Unfortunately, the time has not allowed.

With the exception of Sebastian Olmedo, the contractor, the rest of our contacts in Tijuana have been disappointing. Missed meetings, no phone calls, promises ignored, I just do not understand this mentality. And, these are educated professionals! Regardless, Maria’s house is progressing and June 26 is her move-in date. She is excited and happy beyond description. This has lessened the pain of so many disappointments. Marge’s frustration is apparent as this has been a very difficult undertaking for her.

Yesterday, Sunday, we left our worries behind and the three of us went to a fine restaurant in the Agua Caliente district. Mario recommended Severios several months ago. With Mediterranian cuisine and a beautiful outside patio, we had a great afternoon.

The clientele was upper class, young and friendly. Maria was beaming with happiness as Marge and I proudly showed her off to all present. The little Indian girl was at ease and not the least intimidated. Some may think that the use of the word ‘’Indian “ 222

Our Lifelong Love Affair might appears derogatory. I talked to Maria yesterday about that.

Maria, I use that word with love. “Yes, David, it is ok, l understand.”

We have used many words to describe this wonderful friend; Maria, Maria, with feet like a doll, “ la duena’’, homeowner, la India.

She responds to them all and likes the attention.

As the waiter came over to our table to take our order, Marge informed him that Americans like to chat and have their cocktail, before the meal. Maria was in no hurry and so we caught up on what was happening. Last week I saw Manuel at the border with a Red Cross vest on. Was he volunteering? “Yes, Manuel has been at the border for several days helping with the contributions from motorists. He is being paid and even bought sneakers with his pay and gave me money for the family. “ We told Maria how proud we are of him and his wish to work and help the family.

223

DAVID ROWNTREE

JUNE 26,1990- JUNE 26,1999

A

lthough it was late afternoon, the sun was still beaming through the windows of the little house in Villa Fontana. The boys were enthralled with

their ability to move about the several rooms. They had spent their lives cramped into that dark, ugly shack. Marge was picking up after our late afternoon lunch while Maria, sitting on her beautiful love seat, staring up at the high, bright ceilings. “I cannot believe what is happening to me. I feel as if I were in another dimension. My whole life in the dark and now this.” It is neither a dream, my friend, nor another dimension.

You have arrived at your new house. Today you begin a new life. She thanked Marge and me for all of our help and I reminded her again that we had the help of many others. It was a very emotional time for all of us. Only the brilliant sun kept the atmosphere cheerful. It truly is a beautiful little house!

Attribute to Marge’s many months of work. We explained to Maria and the boys many of the do’s and don’ts of living in a house for the first time. All those little things which we take for granted.The boys will help me and we will take good care of our house. Please do not worry, Magie.”

The boys wanted to take a shower. The only shower they ever knew was with a garden hose behind the shack on Guillermo Prieto. Maria gave her ok and each took his turn in the tile shower. The boys get along very well. We hardly ever hear any angry words between the two.

It was near seven and Maria was finally getting quite tired.

It had been a long day for them. “Later I will take a shower also. I am so dirty after all the moving today. “We are going soon. “Oh, please, stay a little while longer, I am so happy in 224

Our Lifelong Love Affair my house with you and Magie. “What could we say? After several more yawns, we had to leave. We will return Tuesday afternoon with more things for your house. “Oh, on that day I am going to Manuel’s graduation from the sixth grade. I will stay here to meet you if you want. “No, no, please go to his school. This is a very important day for you both. Javier also passed to the fifth grade. We will see you all later in the day.

June 26, 1999, ended with much happiness and satisfaction.

June 26, 1990, also ended with a great feeling of accomplishment. On that day the Jimmy Carter Habitat for Humanity project in Mariano Matamoros was completed.

Our lives have never been the same.

As promised, we returned to Maria’s house on Tuesday, June 29. Marge wanted to wash Maria’s new dishes and flatware and I was to install the rollup shades. It was not a job I was looking forward to, but our contacts in Tijuana just would not do the work. I see the difference now between our friends in the Carter project and these several so-called professionals.

Middle-class snobs are what they are. Ready to commit to large jobs but choose to ignore those like ours.

Our friends in Mariano would leap at the chance to do small jobs or jobs of any size. Only Sebastian Olmedo and the kitchen cabinet contractor were reliable. In spite of the others, the house is being completed.

We also wished to celebrate the boys’ promotion. On the way down we stopped at a large shopping center. Every center has a bakery or cake store. Marge picked out a “ tres leches’, three milk cake and the girl took it next door to have “congratulations, Manuel,” written on it. Next, we went over to Comercial-Mexicana and bought ice cream. This combo will be a first for the boys, that’s a guarantee! Javier passed to the fifth grade so he will share in the little party also.

225

DAVID ROWNTREE Maria and Javier were at home. What happened? “When we went to Manuel’s school this morning, the teacher told us that the class was going on a field trip overnight instead of the party at school. David, Magie, please do not be mad at me. When I was gone the boys’ father brought a dog over to the house. I told him that I do not want a dog here. Too much mess and the boys will not take care of him. What do you think? ‘’ Maria, this is your house, do whatever you wish. But, I do agree wth you. Marge was visibly upset and Maria could tell.

“Please, Magie, do not be angry, this afternoon the dog will go back to Guillermo Prieto. If Jaime does not take him I will give it away in front of my house.” This is the fourth dog he has dropped on Maria and the boys. We agreed with her that she does not need the mess and cost of a big dog. As far as security goes, she has enough of that to hold off the Czar’s army.

Javier was his usual devilish self. With Manuel gone, he was into everything and driving his mother crazy. With Manuel’s intent on getting a job, it will be a long hot summer for Maria.

Speaking of jobs, Calimax is building a huge center very close to Maria’s street, Aranjuez, and Gigante is also building within a mile of her house. These giants of supermarkets will benefit the local people in many ways.

Much to my surprise, I was able to install the three shades.

Next trip I will bring the remaining two. The living room shade made quite a difference with the afternoon sunlight pouring through the window. Maria commented on the ceiling fans in the bedrooms and family room. They helped to cool the house. Just think, three weeks ago Maria asked me what those things were on the ceiling at the builder’s office. What a surprise when she saw the three at her little house. Maria’s bedroom, designed and furnished by Marge with the expertise 226

Our Lifelong Love Affair of a professional, is a thing of beauty. No wonder she feels as if she were in another dimension!

The other rooms are also arranged with great care and thought.

The family room with its Italian leather sofa, built-in tv cabinet, and birch coffee table, is a perfect place for the boys to gather, study, or play. Their room has bunk beds from the other place plus a long desktop with drawers on both sides for their clothing.

The living room has its beautiful love seat, small floor lamp, and eventually another coffee table. An assortment of pictures and mirrors will soon be found throughout the little house. We located a fine cabinet maker to build the white kitchen cabinets.

An under-counter refrigerator, a small gas stove, and an oak table and chair set to round out their kitchen and dining area.

We will return Wednesday and Magie will bring the food. Do not cook anything.

Manuel and Maria were waiting when we arrived. Where is Javier? “His behavior was very bad and so I sent him to stay with his father for three days. He will return tomorrow morning.

“Great, Maria, you did just perfect! “I put him on the patio Monday morning and he waited there crying, for his father. “ She paused for our reaction and was pleased with our absolute approval. Maria claims we have taught her much and that may be so, but when it comes to raising her boys, Maria needs no help.

One of the reasons Marge has bonded so well with Maria is that they think alike in many ways.

Marge had made up a dozen egg salad and tuna sandwiches and I picked up chocolate cookies and soda. Too bad Javier you’re missing a fun time.

“Magie, Manuel, and I have cleaned the entire house, do you like it?” It was superb! We praised them for a fine job. Marge gave Manuel $1 for his good work. Maria promised us that she would take good care of her house, and she surely is. Manuel amazes us 227

DAVID ROWNTREE with his acceptance of responsibility and the fine care he gives to his mother. “As soon as OXXO, (a general-purpose store) opens, I am going to get a job there.” The store is now being built across the street from their house. There are dozens of these pretty little stores in Tijuana, all sporting their red and white logo.

Maria’s street, Aranjuez, is busy with cars and people passing by. She amuses herself by watching the activity and meeting her neighbors. The mother of one of Javier’s friends came over to meet Maria. She is a teacher in a private school. The “profesora” was very impressed with Maria’s house and even more so when she was told that many good people had contributed toward its purchase. We hope to meet her one day.

Several passersby have inquired about the house. “Are you watching the house for the owner? Is there someone we can call to rent this house?” “Oh, no, no, this is my house, my American friends bought it for me. “ How surprised they were to find that this disabled, Indian girl was the owner of this beautiful house!

Her self-esteem and confidence are growing in leaps and bounds.

She may become the owner of more property. The city land department told her that very soon she will be able to buy the lot at Guillermo Prieto at a small price.

While chatting back and forth Marge did more organizing and cleaning and I hung two more shades. Manuel was busying himself in the family room with the tv. “When Jaime came over the other day he programmed the tv. We now have over 20 channels. With the little antenna, the picture is very good. Manuel, please lower the sound. “Are all kids of that age hard of hearing, or is it just the generation gap? I remember being told to lower the radio. Not long afterward the volume seemed to raise itself again. Without a word, Maria got up and walked to the room. She said not a word and soon returned with the antenna in hand. That was the end of that. Simple, no yelling, no arguing.

228

Our Lifelong Love Affair Soon Marge was preparing the luncheon. Everyone was hungry and eagerly attacked the large plate of food. Marge has made this combination before and it has always been a huge success. The green olives went over big also. Maria has been eating better since the move and Marge believes that Maria is more active, walking more and getting more exercise in her “large house. “ Remember, the size of this house is less than 600 square feet.

Besides bringing the remaining shades and some clothing and food items, we brought a beautiful pine, French chair. It compliments the love seat very well. Maria went into her room and came back with one of the cushions she uses with the wheelchair. Up she hopped onto the chair and it immediately became her favorite place to sit. “This chair is very comfortable and I will not sit on the love seat, I fear my braces will wear on the material. Besides, I have a nice view of my street and all the activity. On Guillermo Printo I saw nothing but those ugly walls, my broken window, and a door full of holes. It was a very sad place for me. “ I thought you were not going to bring your birds to this house? “My birds were not eating and crying at night. I think Jaime was not giving them food and water. I must talk to him again. They are too messy to have here.”

After our lunch, the three of us sat and chatted while Manuel went out to play with the teacher’s son. We had waited a long time for this, just sitting and relaxing. Maria had waited a lifetime.

On our next visit, on the 20 of July, we’ll go to Las Brisas, the Chinese restaurant, ok? “Yes, and I will pay for our lunch. “Maria, remember we decided that I would pay half. “Please, David, I want to buy the lunch. You and Magie have done so much, you have given me gold. Do not worry, I have enough money. When I do not have money, I will tell you. “ We must allow her that privilege. It saddens me though when I realize that she must sit in the hot sun inhaling car fumes for two days in order to pay for our meals. When Maria receives the title to the Guillermo Prieto lot she intends to sell it.

229

DAVID ROWNTREE You will never have to go to the border again. “ That is fine. I do not like going there.”

July 20 Maria was waiting when we arrived for our luncheon date at the Chinese restaurant. Javier had returned from his exile to Guillermo Prieto. Where is Emanuel today? “I had trouble with him this week and his behavior was bad. So I sent him to his father for three days.

He just did not want to help me with the housework. Javier was very happy to return. He complained that there was not enough food and he had to sleep on the old mattress.” Marge and I both chimed in that she was doing the right thing. “Magie, how does the house look? Is it clean? Javy cleaned the floors while I cleaned the kitchen.

Is it ok, Magie?” The place looks beautiful, Maria, we love you and we love your house. It is the most beautiful in Villa Fontana. “I love to sit in this chair and watch the people passing by. The other day a neighbor of the teacher came by. As he introduced himself at the gate I invited him to see my house. “Oh, senora, this is a beautiful house! So bright, so cheerful. There is much happiness here. This house looks very American. “Yes, my American friends bought the house for me and the lady decorated it. Javy, you stay here while we are gone and keep the gate locked. And, behave!”

On such a hot day the Chinese restaurant was very cool. Our waiter from April remembered us immediately. The Chinese lady owner was not there but a young Chinese man was. On this trip, Maria had given me pesos instead of dollars. $55.00 in all. Do not worry, David, I had this money set aside for our lunch. “As usual we ordered our drinks and chatted for quite some time. The waiter knew by now that we like to enjoy our drink before eating. In April, the Doctora’s girls ordered a drink called, “sangria”, a blood-red soft drink. At my suggestion, Maria changed her order from the 230

Our Lifelong Love Affair usual Coke. Marge and the waiter got together and decided on what food we were going to order. Sliced chicken cooked in orange juice with broccoli, sweet, roasted pork, and a huge platter of rice with all kinds of meat and vegetables. Enough food for six. There were enough leftovers for two days’ meals. Next time we will order less. I’m sure that most of the 2 billion or so inhabitants of China have never seen such a delicious meal. “I have never eaten Chinese food, this is wonderful.”

As the meal was progressing the young Chinese man came over to our table and asked if everything was ok. Another Chinese person who did not speak English; I just assume that anyone, not Mexican would speak English. Anyway, we told him how good everything was and I asked about not seeing his mother this time. He laughed as he walked away. I asked our waiter what the joke was; “The lady is not his mother but his wife.” And then he laughed also. I really put my foot in my mouth on that one. “ It is no problem, senor, he is several years younger than she. He is a smart one, marrying such a wealthy lady. “Shortly thereafter he was on the phone to his wife and I heard him telling her about my faux pas. Laughing still.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable afternoon. We three enjoy our time together and are acquiring quite a list of fine restaurants.

Maria has become very much at ease as we travel to these fine places.

The dessert, compliments of the house, is a banana, grilled in a pan with brown sugar, cinnamon, and kahlua. Just perfect! Before we left, the husband came over to our table with a large bag of plum seeds, like those we used to see in Hawaii. His friendly manner held fast, no hard feelings about the “mother” remark.

Our next restaurant, “La Lena”, translates, as “firewood.” Our friendly realtor at URBI, told us about this place.

Back at Maria’s house, we visited for some time before head­ing back to San Diego. We left Maria with another date to put in her 231

DAVID ROWNTREE book; next week, 27 July, we’ll be back to see you. Please do not cook anything as we will eat lunch before we arrive. “Anyway, I will buy some beer and chips for you.” One just cannot out appreciate this lady. Finally, Maria gave each of us small silver rings. Now I have a gold bracelet and a silver ring. Remember what she said before, “please, David, you and Magie have given me gold, allow me to give you these gifts.” As we drove north to RB, Marge remarked that Maria was looking better, eating more, and much happier these days. “Did you notice that she no longer covers her legs with a towel and the wheelchair stays in the rear of her house used only on weekends? “Carlos’ wonderful job on her braces and her new spacious house has allowed her to walk and gain the exercise needed to improve her health.

Saturday morning Manuel, Javy, please hurry, it is 6:30, and we must be going to the linea. No, not now, we’ll eat breakfast when we reach the border. When we lived at Guillermo Prieto, it was only 15 minutes to the linea. Now, In Villa Fontana, it takes 1-1/2 hrs. We take a calafia near our house to Cinco y Diez (a large intersection in La Mesa), and then another bus to Mesa Otay. One of the boys goes over to the old room for my chair and then they push me to the line. Even at 8:00, it is very busy. I hope that this will be a good day for us. If I receive $25 today, that will be fine. Manuel and Javy are growing so fast and they eat continually. Javy has reached my height, I am less than 5 feet tall. Manuel has already grown well past me. I think that he will be as tall as David, and he is quite tall, (5’-10” ). The prices in Villa Fontana are higher than in Mesa Otay and for that reason, I buy much of our food at Danny’s tienda in Otay. David told me that when Calimax and Gigante have finished the prices there will be better. Both stores are on Blvd. Cucapah, 232

Our Lifelong Love Affair close to our house. Please understand, that I am not unhappy with these conditions in our new life. I love my little house so very much, and I would never go back to that other sad place. Every night the boys and I thank God first and then David and Magie and then all those wonderful people who made our dream come true.

I dislike sitting here in my chair between the cars begging for my livelihood. The umbrella and sunglasses help hide my shame.

I keep the soda cup in my lap until someone gives me a donation.

Those women at San Ysidro make me feel so ashamed. They carry their babies on their backs and follow the cars with their cups in the people’s faces. The tourists and Americans do not like this and often the Mexican police chase all of them away. Thank God they do not come to the Mesa Otay linea.

Hola, buenos dias, my friends. Dora, Miguel, Francisco, Lety, Lupe, all of you. I am fine today. I know them all, the peddlers at the linea. They sell all those funny tourist things, blankets, Bart Simpson dolls, silver bracelets, Our Lady of Guadalupe statues and pictures, soda, peanuts, churros, and all kinds of things. They work long hard hours. Back and forth, back and forth all day every day.

Rain or shine.

Today there are more than 100 cars in each line, well past the bridge. If I receive many donations we will leave early. The boys are so good to me but they are getting older and becoming bored standing all those hours with me. Some time ago Manuel worked with the Mexican Red Cross here. They were asking the people for donations. He was very happy with the job and he was paid for his time. God Bless him! He took some of his pay and gave it to me and then he bought himself of pair of tennis (sneakers).

I see my other friends who also are crippled as they take their places in the lines between the cars. Some like me are victims of polio, others missing arms or legs, some very, very crippled and in their chairs. None of us can work in the factories and the 233

DAVID ROWNTREE government will not give us any kind of aid. Thus, we end up at the linea. If I were not crippled I would never have met David and Magie. It has been almost four years now since I first saw them passing by. They always slowed the car and spoke a few words to me and then gave me a donation. They seemed different somehow.

Always made sure we met, changing lines just to see me. I did not know what to think of these Americans. One time David asked me my name, “Maria “ I told him. Today I know that he had another name for me, “Maria.” Something strange was happening. Why were these rich people interested in me, Maria Martinez Gomez, a crippled Indian? One time David gave me a note telling me about him and Magie. They had been coming to Tijuana for many years, helping the poor. Still, I must be careful, some people are not what they seem. Besides, we live in such a terrible, dirty place. I must never let them see that place.

Manuel, please take me over to the aduanal (customs) office. I need to go to the bano. When we return I’ll give the boys some money to buy their breakfast. I do not eat much in the morning, coffee and toast. When I sit for many hours in a chair, my stomach hurts.

Some people are so nice to us. One time a Mexican couple stopped their car and gave me a wheelchair. Another time a man gave the boys a new football (soccer). Some give a bag of clothing.

Most, money. Thank God and God bless them! Milk and tortillas for another week. If tomorrow is a good day, I will buy 1/4 kilo of meat. They are growing so fast and eating so much, that the food just disappears. Rice and beans will fill them up. ​​One time when David and Magie came through the line, David told me he had food and a turkey for us for Christmas. He wanted to come to my room. What should I do? It should be ok the boys will be with me. I told him to meet the boys here tomorrow and they will show him the way. That night we cleaned the room; it looks almost 234

Our Lifelong Love Affair the same whether clean or dirty. There is no room for us to move and then there are the birds. The next day he came with my boys to that dark, damp place. Oh, so much food he brought! I have never seen so much at one time. And a large beautiful turkey. I never in my life had eaten turkey. I started to cry at the sight of all these gifts. David cried also when he saw me struggle to stand on my old broken braces.

Yesterday, David and Magie sat in my living room and we chatted for several hours. I bought them beer and chips and they brought us soda and cake. We talk about many things and never tire of each other’s company. They love me and my boys. They love my little house. I love them very much and I understand that they have a business and things to do with their daughter, Meg. I met Meg and her husband, David. They made me feel like I am part of their family.

Please, come to visit me when you can. Do not forget me, Magie and David. David scolded me because I keep saying not to forget me. He said that he and Magie cannot and will not ever forget me. I believe them. I am happy.

Oh, how fast the time went today. $27.That is good. Manuel, Javier it is 5:00, we must start back to Villa Fontana. It will still be light when we arrive (7:00). I missed my house today. It will be good to see it again and sit in my favorite chair. Magie brought it from the United States. It is beautiful wood. French Napoleon chair. Magie said. I sit in that chair and watch the people pass by my house. I told Magie that the boys bring the chair to the tv room where I watch television at night. We only watch for one hour each night. There is too much violence on tv. It is not good for my boys. Magie said that she will buy me another chair for that room. Oh, Magie, no, the boys can bring it back and forth. She would not change her mind. I can not believe what they have brought to my house. The many beautiful things. Everything is new. David told me that this chair cost $250. I was shocked at the price. He told me that good furniture and other things are expensive. Yet, they last many years.

235

DAVID ROWNTREE

CALAFIA

31 August

W

e three were very excited about today’s adventure.

We were heading south to Rosarito and beyond to Calafia, a famous historical and cultural center.

Calafia also has a hotel and restaurant. We were going for lunch.

“David, I am sorry but I have only $30 today. Manuel’s school costs more this year because he is starting Secundaria in Villa Fontana. I did not have enough money to buy all of his supplies and uniforms.

Do not worry, next week I hope to earn enough at the border to buy the rest of what he needs.” I felt sad about accepting her money but she would not hear of me lending her money temporarily. From Villa Fontana it was a long drive to Calafia. The girls enjoyed the scenery, the view of the ocean, and the many beautiful homes built along the way. This was their first view of the Pacific Ocean from Mexico. The toll road from Tijuana to Rosarito is excellent and the trip went smoothly costing only $1.20.

Rosarito is a bustling, booming, tourist town; a fraction the size of Tijuana. The main street is lined with shops, hotels, restaurants, and motels. The Rosarito Hotel, a landmark attraction, has several restaurants and many shops. It also has a very long and very deep beachfront. Many ride their horses on the beach so it behooves one to walk with care.

Calafia was another restaurant recommended by our friend Eleazar, the manager of UETA, the duty-free store. He has been so correct on his several choices.

The first inhabitants of the area date back to 7000 years B. C. Calafia has historical importance in that in 1773, the first division 236

Our Lifelong Love Affair of the old and new Californias took place in this area. Calafia also hosts many educational societies that come here to study the ancient wall paintings. One-quarter of a million visitors come here each year. Due to the time and distance from Tijuana, we could, not avail ourselves of these other interests. Besides, we were hungry!

Weekdays are good times to do our restaurants. Traffic is light and the dining rooms are not crowded. We were seated at a table overlooking the ocean. Though 4 pm, there was still plenty of sun, and we were treated to a beautiful view. Maria was enchanted with the waves crashing against the break wall far below and the spray almost reaching our window. As we always do, we ordered our cocktails and proceeded to enjoy this new experience.

Finally, to the relief of the waiters, we ordered our meal.

Mexican waiters act guilty if they are not constantly attending to their customers. Actually, I believe the reason is that we are Americans. We see few Americans in the restaurants we have been frequenting lately. Anyway, they are very polite and we all like the attention. Marge ordered the swordfish, Maria, one of the chicken dishes, and I ordered a shrimp plate.

As we chatted, the traditional band of Mexican musicians made its way through the dining room. “No thank you, not today. “ Business was slow for them today as the room was almost deserted.

After the meals arrived we sampled eachother’s selection as we have become accustomed Everything was excellent. The conversation slowed considerably as we dined while enjoying the ocean view.

Maria was quiet while absorbing this new experience. Later she told us that this was her very favorite place. The long ride both ways was worth the enjoyment that we shared.

We arrived back at Villa Fontana at 7 pm, just before the boys came home from school. In Tijuana, the schools are operated in morning and afternoon sessions. There are just too many children to attend both mornings and afternoons. Manuel goes to his 237

DAVID ROWNTREE school at 2 and returns at 8. Javier takes two buses back to Mesa Otay and usually comes home about the same time. There was no room for him in the grammar school in Villa Fontana this year.

Next year he will attend junior high with Manuel. At 9 pm, the streets are crowded with students and people, coming home from work and school and many frequent the food stands that occupy almost every corner. At 1 pm, the scene is identical; buses, jitneys, taxis, and bikes, all flying in every direction. The autos fly by continually, speeding, ignoring stop signs, most without an inch of road courtesy. What fun! Marge closes her eyes while I drive on, praying, likewise, Margie prays. The Stop signs say ”ALTO.” Yet, hardly anyone stops, really, stops!

Mark your calendar my friend, September 12. That is the day we will celebrate your new home. “We will be ready, David and the house will be very clean. I am so excited that I will be able to show our friends my most beautiful “American house!”

238

Our Lifelong Love Affair

FIRST PARTY

W

hat an exciting day this will be! The first party in our new house. Manuel, Javy, everything looks very clean. Please hose off the patio and then put out

the chairs and table. David and Magie will be here soon. They are bringing Diana also. Her family foundation has been a good friend to us and to many in Tijuana. Three years ago, or more maybe, Diana her­self, bought new beds for us when we were sleeping on old mattresses. Then she and her cousin, Gail, gave me my doll, Josefina, as a Christmas gift. Magie also invited Carlos, the man who made my braces, and Pablo Lopez and his wife and little girl, Yareli. They live quite close to us. Carlos is teaching Pablo how to make braces so he can do business in Tijuana. Pablo also makes and repairs shoes. Alicia, his wife, Pablo, and I have a very common bond; we all were crippled by polio when we were only babies. The three of us are carrying quite a bit of metal in leg braces. Thank God my boys and Yareli all had the polio medicine and will never be afflicted by this terrible disease.

We are ready, everything is in order. Magie told me that she was bringing all the food. My only job was to buy the ice. David always jokes about Americans loving their ice. It is true. We like it also but never seem to make it or buy it.

They’re here! Our first party is to begin. Adelante! Adelante!

Magie and David compliment me on my dress. It is old but they have not seen it before. It seems like new since I take good care of my clothes. Magie gave me money to buy a new dress for today but I told her that I could not find anything in my size. Due to my shape, it is very difficult to find nice dresses. They still talk about the beautiful dress I found for $4.00.

239

DAVID ROWNTREE Manuel, please help David with the packages in the car. Soon Magie was organizing things in the kitchen while Diana and the boys were looking at pictures of her new grandson.

As I was gazing out the front door I saw a car slow down and stop. It was too early for the others to arrive. It was Prisciliana with Nanci and her boyfriend, Ramses. David told me that he had just called Peche about the extra rugs and if she wanted them. I guess that she does. Magie has been trying to get the builder to give us the rugs since before I moved in. Even though we changed the floors in the TV room and the boys’ room to ceramic tile, Magie wanted those rugs. Finally, after many months they brought them to my house last week.

I could tell that Peche was very impressed with my beautiful “ American house.” I like Peche very much. She is a good friend and she has a wonderful family. Six children! One time Magie and David took me to her house for lunch. It was a special day for me.

Since David and Magie have come into my life I have had many, many special days. Our lives, my boys and mine have changed so very much. I thank God for sending me these wonderful Americans.

David keeps telling me that we are family now. I am so happy to have a family. Their friends in Matamoros are family. Meg and David are family. Those whom I have met in San Diego are family. It has been so many years since I have had family and friends. I want to invite Peche sometime to a party at my house. And, Christina and Mario and Lulu, and others. Magie told me that at our next party we will invite those three along with Meg and David.

Magie, please, can I help you? ‘’No, no, Maria, just sit on your throne and look like a queen.” Manuel, David, and Magie joke with me about my chair. “She is the queen and sits on her throne.”

Manuel says. It is so very comfortable. Did I mention that they brought me another chair, the very same copy, on their last visit?

This one for the tv room is $250! Can you believe that? They make 240

Our Lifelong Love Affair little of the cost of things in my house.” As long as the money is there, you will have the best,” they keep telling me. I love to invite people to see my house. Magie, you are a wonderful decorator.

Manuel has been very helpful, passing the snacks and being a gentleman. He loves to impress Magie and David and Diana with his English. David is very happy with his progress and the two keep exchanging English words and phrases. I tell them that I am a “burra,” and can not learn. David often tel1s me that I am as smart as many who have had years of school. I believe him, he would not say that if it were not true. Me, Maria Martinez, an “ Indian “ girl who never went to school.

The others have arrived. What fun, I love this day! The conversation is non-stop, both in Spanish and English. Magie served me a coke while the others were drinking wine and beer.

Manuel passed the snacks. Yareli and Javier went out on the patio and were talking. Yareli is such a lovely girl. Younger than Javy but very friendly and not the least bit shy. Pablo talked about how he would like a house such as mine, but he cannot afford the mortgage payments. Thank God and Magie and David and all those wonderful people that my house is paid for and none of those high-interest payments!

Magie must have known that we were hungry. Soon she was preparing the food. Our oak kitchen table was the banquet table. A large platter of sliced ham, pasta salad, my very favorite cauliflower salad, David’s bread, and what else, I forget. I heard David telling my boys, “first, your mother is served, then the guests, then you two. Understood?” The three children ate on the patio and enjoyed each other’s company very much. Those two people have taught us so much. They do not talk down to us but rather as a loving teacher to their student. No wonder we have never lived in a real house and am ignorant of many customs and manners. We are learning, we are learning 241

DAVID ROWNTREE Oh, this food is so good! I love Magie’s American food and they love my cooking. What a family! I notice that I am eating more since we left Guillermo Prieto. I walk more about my ‘ large” house.

I walk in front of my patio, and to the side of the house to do the wash. I think back to the years I used the galvanized tub for the laundry, dishes, and for my bath. I have never had a real shower until we moved here. Now I shower every day. My boys used a garden hose to shower. I thank God for the change in our lives.

Every day I thank God. Every day!

During the meal, I tell Carlos and Pablo about how we love Magie and David. How they love us. They know. They saw us at several brace fittings in Tijuana. They may not understand why but they see the bond between the five of us.

Diana chats with Carlos about her leg problems. Diana uses a cane. My living room looks like a hospital room; my two canes, Alicia’s cane, and Diana’s. And, five-leg braces total!

David asked Carlos if he will write “la Migra” for permission for me to come to San Diego, on 2 October. We pretend that it will be an appointment at his office, but really, they have invited me to another birthday celebration at their home. My third birthday party was with Magie and David. Carlos agrees with much pleasure. Did David tell in his journal about all the specialists who promised to make my braces? Carlos did the work and I am so pleased with these braces. I only use my chair when we go to the border on Saturdays and Sundays.

It was dark when Pablo and his family and Carlos left. Magie was busy picking up the dishes while my boys were looking at the leftover ham. “No chance, you two have had enough today, “Magie told them. Diana was very impressed with my house and told Magie many times. Magie and David have been very busy since February with my house. I cannot do the shopping and I appreciate them very much for their work. They never seem to tire coming 242

Our Lifelong Love Affair here with food, furniture, lamps, everything! David tells me that I have won the lottery and he says that he and Magie have won the lottery also since we met. We argue back and forth about who is luckier. I believe I am.

While the others are busy I think about this day and the many gifts I have received. Diana gave me money for the boys’ school.

Manuel’s costs are more this year because he is going to secundaria, (junior high school). Carlos gave me a beautiful, framed picture of me and Magie and David. He took it last year at one of the brace fittings. Diana’s cousin, Gail, sent me a living, flower plant. I will keep it on our table as a centerpiece. I would like to meet this lady who has been so good to our family. Perhaps, someday. Rita, Magie’s neighbor sent me a beautiful clock for our kitchen and stainless steel mixing bowls. My friends, Patricia, and Juan, who live in Hawaii, gave me chairs and a table for my patio. So many Americans have donated so much. I can only thank them through Magie and David. I am ashamed to say that I cannot write. David tells me that writing is important but reading is the very most important skill. Thank God the nuns taught me how to read! It is almost 9 pm and Diana is getting nervous about leaving. The Otay border closes at 10 pm. David knows that, and he is not nervous.

Soon they are ready to leave and this wonderful day will be completed. David told me that he and Magie will return to visit me on the 28 of September. Not too long but I miss them when we are apart. I should try to meet some new friends here. It is difficult since I can not get out too easily. Perhaps through Manuel and his school, I will meet someone.

After the 28 of September, there will be only a few days ‘til the 2 of October and my visit to Rancho Bernardo.

243

DAVID ROWNTREE

THIRD BIRTHDAY

2 Oct.

T

oday will mark the third year Maria has come to our house to celebrate her birthday. For 35 years Maria never had a party and now three straight years. We were

just as excited today as we were in the past. As I mentioned Carlos wrote the INS letter requesting a one-day entry pass. While Marge prepared the day’s festivities, I went down to Villa Fontana. “I am so ashamed. I wanted to buy a gift for you and Magie but I did not have the money. Look, David, I bought these two uniforms for the boy’s exercise classes at school. (We call it physical). They cost $60.

“Please, Maria, it is ok. This is your day and you will be receiving gifts. Her gratitude is continual and she is ever looking to give back in her own way.

I brought meat, fruits, and vegetables for the family and some ceramic pieces from Dak for her to sell. This should help offset her 2 day’s absence from the border. Last weekend she made only $25; few tourists travel to Mexico. I told Maria that since school started again, there will be fewer tourists until we near “el dia del pavo,” the day of the turkey, as she calls it. When the boys are on their Christmas vacation. Maria often goes every day to the “linea”. This is the time of the year when she will make the most money. Did I mention this story before, I’m not sure. Anyway, when Maria first came to Tijuana she went by bus to Ave. Revolucion to beg. She went alone those days since the boys were too young to accompany her. Without a wheelchair, she was on her feet all day trying to earn enough for their food. Many days she would earn only $5. A $1 244

Our Lifelong Love Affair bus fare came out of that $5. She had to make that long trip every day in order to have enough to eat.

With a light left on, she locked up her little house, and off we went. Very few cars were passing into the US today. “What do you call this area?” Otay Mesa. “What do you call this place?”

Chula Vista. And on and on just as she had done so many times in the past. Ever eager to gain as much knowledge as possible. “San Diego is so beautiful, so green. Even my new neighborhood is not as pretty as this. “We spend many, many dollars to keep our city green. Tijuana just does not have the water or the infrastructure to spend on the green. “The United States is so blessed and so rich country. God has been very good to you. “I agree saying that we often forget what a blessing it is to live in this land.

“Hola, Magie, hola, I have arrived at your beautiful house.”

Maria, this is your house also. She reminds us constantly that the little house in Villa Fontana is ours. I brought her chair just in case but she insisted on walking. Her walking has improved her health and increased her appetite.

“Oh Magie, your house is so beautiful and clean. I think that it is three times larger than my little house. “This was Maria’s first visit since she moved to Villa Fontana and so she was able to compare the size of the two houses; with an accuracy that was almost perfect! What changes this past year has brought. Last year we had enough money for her house but no good prospects of hiring a builder and no prospects of buying her lot. Today, Maria and her boys are settled in and enjoying their first real house. A brand new house at that! Furnished and equipped with everything they need. Granted, no phone, clothes dryer, VCR, or computer, but there is running water, a kitchen, and the luxury of all luxuries, a TOILET! We were to take advantage of this beautiful, sunny day and eat out on the patio. Maria was hungry but she was also wound 245

DAVID ROWNTREE up like a coo-coo clock, as the saying goes. She talked to Marge and me non-stop. It mattered not in the least that Marge could not understand her. It is the same when we arrive at her house.

Before we get in the door, she is telling us all the news and local gossip. “Last night I did not sleep much at all. I was so excited about my trip to your house. Last week I talked for hours with my neighbor, Lorena, after you left. Lorena loves my little house and she would like Magie to decorate her house also. (Marge was flattered but she cannot commit to another undertaking like Maria’s. Besides, Lorena’s husband works in SD and they can well afford to hire a decorator). I think Alfonso is back to work again as he is not acting so strange. The poor man worries constantly about the neighborhood and burglars. Many nights he just drives his car around and around the streets looking for I do not know. A policeman bought the house two doors from Alfonso. That should be an encouragement for him. His poor wife, Hilda, hardly ever leaves the house. Alfonso wants her home all the time. Oh, what a gossip I am!! “We all laugh but the neighborhood news is a good diversion for her. She is alone a good six hours every day during the week when the boys are at school.

Everyone was quite hungry, Maria surprisingly so. “I only drank coffee this morning. I always know Magie will be cooking something special. The California supreme chicken breast dish was delicious. Magie also served my very favorite: gelatin fruit salad and baby carrots. Magie, what is this? “That is asparagus, Maria a vegetable. “This is the first time I have eaten asparagus. It is wonderful !” So it is at $4 per pound.

While Marge picked up after our delicious meal I took Maria for a stroll around the neighborhood. As always the questions continued. “Who lives in that house? Do you know those people?

Are there wild animals up in those hills? Are they called the California mountains?’’ See what I mean? Last year we talked about 246

Our Lifelong Love Affair the stars and planets. There seems to be no end to her desire to learn.

Maria, do you see those people in their garage? Every year they donate to our Christmas collection. Let’s go over and talk to them. Hi, Bob, hi, Jane, I would like you to meet our good friend Maria. Maria is celebrating her birthday this weekend. They were impressed with Maria’s friendliness and willing­ness to chat. “Oh, she is so pretty,” Jane commented. Maria thanked her as she raised her hand to hide a blush and also thanked them for their donations each year at Christmas time. “I studied Spanish 50 years ago but I have forgotten it all,” Bob remarked. As we departed Maria said that Jane and Bob were very nice neighbors.

No sooner had we arrived at our house than the doorbell rang. I thought it was Rita, our neighbor. She was invited over for birthday cake. Instead, it was Jane telling Marge that she and Bob wanted to give Maria a little something for her special day. Later, when Maria opened the card and asked me to translate the verse, a $20 bill fell out. What did Maria say when she saw this gift? Nothing about perfume or treats or cosmetics, but rather, “look, Magie, now I can buy more books for Manuel.”

Soon Rita came over and the conversation picked up again.

During our meal, Maria was yawning and acting very sleepy. After her desert, she gained a second wind. That chatterbox kept us up until almost midnight.

I must relate one of the stories Maria told us. As I have mentioned in the past, there are several crippled people who go to the border as Maria does. Some are in wheelchairs, others missing limbs, and some suffer the ravages of drugs. All hoping to gain enough money to eat. The state does not hold its hand out to any of these people. One terribly crippled man named, Chuie, is at the border daily. Often in the past, I have given him money. Maria told us that Chuie is one of several children who live in a nice house with their 247

DAVID ROWNTREE widowed mother. None of the others goes to work, thereby making Chuie the sole supporter of his family. Since he cannot care for him­self, Chuie is at the mercy of his family. His ability to talk is extremely limited. This forty-year-old man is brought to the border every day by a family member. There he sits in his wheelchair in sunshine and rain with no protection from the elements and with neither food nor water. At mid-day, someone from the family will come over and take any donations he has received.

Since Chuie cannot use his hands one must put their donation in his shirt pocket. If, by this time of day he has not received sufficient money to the family’s satisfaction, his sister or mother will hit him and scold him for being a failure. Many times, without success, Maria or Manuel have offered him food or drink. He is so accustomed to the abuse that he refuses any help. He would not accept Maria’s offer of an umbrella to shield himself from the harsh sunlight. His eyes are blood-red from the car fumes and his skin is leather brown from the sun. Poor, sad Chuie, his life is a tragedy.

Are we now faced with a dilemma? One dislikes giving money to benefit these evil people. Yet, if he does poorly, the family abuses him. Years ago when we first heard Maria’s story we were crushed with grief. Now, this. I’m sure there are many more stories like Chuie’s. Chuie’s real name is Jesus. Most men with that name use Chuie. Perhaps one day Maria will tell us another.

Finally, close to midnight, Maria retired. This was very late for her, but she had many things to talk about.

The next morning Maria slept two hours beyond her usual 6:30 am. Marge and I gave her a lot of friendly kidding when she came out to greet us. “The boys are staying at Guillermo Prieto tonight so I do not have to leave early. However, I must wash the boy’s school uniforms sometime today. “ Marge interjected that it would be no problem to wash them in her machine. “No, no, I’ll wash them by hand in the shower. It is very easy, Magie. “Marge 248

Our Lifelong Love Affair argued with her to no avail. Perhaps Maria does not understand the delicate cycle in her washer. Marge will show her this very easy system on our next trip.

While Maria chatted with Marge. I was attempting to make the special brunch I prepare for most of our overnight guests; baking powder biscuits and orange muffins. I say attempting because I had to pop in and out of the room to translate.

What fun! Soon Jane and Jim will be coming and that will mean more translating and more fun. They know Maria well and love to visit with her. Over the years they have been generous givers to the family.

Jane and Jim greeted Maria with hugs and congratulations on her birthday and her new house. Jim has seen that terrible place in Mesa Otay. Like all the rest, he was very moved by her plight. Now, he and Jane are so excited and want to see the new house.” After Christmas please come and visit me. Soon I will be very busy going to the border every day.” When the boys are on vacation she meant.

If we receive enough from the foundation this year perhaps Maria will not be forced to go there so often. Marge and I see how Maria is affected by the car fumes and the hot sun.

Marge and I have often discussed the subject of Maria leaving that dreadful situation she is in at the border. However, the fact that Maria often earns fifty dollars on a weekend is a plus. Many in the plants earn less than that in one week. Besides, Maria’s dollars go further than the Mexican pesos. Also, she is able to control her boys much better since she is at home every day. Those two will never be ‘’latch-key” kids. Marge and I will continue to think about alternatives to Maria’s trip to the “ linea “each week.

249

DAVID ROWNTREE

CIEN ANOS

October 19.

C

ien Anos (l00 years) is the name of a restaurant we discovered via a local SD newspaper. The owner, a very young man, told us that “Cien Anos’, is the name of a

popular Mexican song. On our last trip to Tijuana, we checked out the place. Marge went in looked it over and was given a menu. Today the three restauranteurs will have lunch there. Marge and I arrived at Maria’s with some food for the family and a beautiful ash coffee table for the living room. It is the exact same color as her chair, or, as the boys call it “the queen’s throne.” Maria, this is the type of table one puts books on but does not use for eating like you would on your kitchen table. No longer bashful in asking such questions, Maria asked Marge how much the table cost. When she heard the price, she was immensely impressed. Marge and I were impressed also because this beauty is worth much more. It was hand-made in Los Angeles.

The little house on Aranjuez is just about completed with furniture.

Due to the recent Santa Ana weather, it was quite hot today. It will feel good to get into the air-conditioning at Cien Anos. Located in Zona Rio it is very close to Nanci Moreno’s English school. That reminds me that I must talk with her about her progress. Have I mentioned before that through the foundation we have arranged for Nanci to enter this school? It is a very flexible place that allows her to come to classes after her work at her own convenience. It is quite expensive but we feel that Nanci is a good investment. Nanci is Prisciliana’s daughter and she has also decided to return to her studies in order to finish her high school requirements. While working in the factories it has become popular for many young people to return 250

Our Lifelong Love Affair to their studies via a home study method. Cien Anos is beautifully decorated in an old Spanish motif. Many of its twelve or so tables were occupied by mostly young men. Probably they were minor business or government executives. It is a very quiet, intimate place.

The menu was in both English and Spanish, and all the waiters spoke some English. The menus were printed in an old script-like style that even had Maria confused. “David, please help me. I can not read a menu. “ I barely was able to myself. Everything looked excellent. We ordered our drinks and proceeded to do what we have done for so many of these past months; we chatted and further tightened our bond of friendship. Maria knows that I am writing this story about her life. I told her I had included the sad tale of Chuie.

She asked if we would like to hear another story from the linea?

“You remember the lady who told me about Villa Fontana? She lives nearby in a one-bedroom house with her husband, her daughter, and her baby grandson. This lady’s husband works as a vendor at the border while she has a small store near their home. Her daughter, who went to school and had a very good job, was expecting her first baby. Shortly after the baby’s birth. he became very ill, something to do with his intestines. After an operation, and the baby returned home, the baby’s father beat his wife so bad that today she cannot care for herself or the baby. He slammed her head against a wall and now the poor girl is helpless. As the baby grows, his mother has become a baby. So sad. I do not know what became of the husband.

Many Mexican men are very “macho” and perhaps he felt less than a man because his baby boy was not born perfect. “This was the same lady wfrom hom we bought a box of candy In appreciation of her telling Maria about Villa Fontana. We wanted to meet her and express our thanks, but she did not want us to visit her home. Now I understand.

As the waiters hovered nearby Maria told us about the boys and their progress at school Javier is settled in over at Mesa Otay. The poor 251

DAVID ROWNTREE kid misses his mother and brother and due to the distance to Villa Fontana, he spends many nights in the old room. He is progressing well and his father keeps tabs on him. Manuel is adjusting very well to his first year of junior high school. He is very excited about his English class and he likes to practice his pronunciation with me. He still lacks three textbooks and his uniform. Maria has the money set aside and is waiting until the school receives more books and the delivery of uniforms. Maria wanted to purchase the uniform elsewhere but the teacher said they have to be bought at the school. I do not know if they are trying to make more profit on these clothes or if they are attempting to keep all uniforms.

There is still no news on her “escritura” deed to her house. This has been an ongoing problem for the past three months. Marge has called Javier dozens of times and Maria has made several trips to different offices, all to no avail. Marge believes that the builder, URBI, does not know how to deal with a cash payment for a house.

Marge continues to get the stalling game while Maria receives what she calls “mentiras”, lies. URBI just does not have the people to keep up with the thousands upon thousands of new home buyers.

We better order now, these waiters are looking desperate. Marge and Maria ordered the roast pork and I ordered the chiles relleno with shrimp. Maria ordered a tortilla soup, Marge a lettuce salad and I a nopales salad. Nopales are cactus leaves, stripped of the spines and sauteed. One of my favorites. With the wink of an eve, the salads appeared. We all tasted each other and agreed that Maria’s was the best. The three entrees were beautifully arranged and very tasty.

Unfortunately, the pork was not cooked long enough. Cooked but not as roast pork should be. My chiles relleno were excellent. The overall ambiance of Cien Anos was fine. We thoroughly enjoyed this latest experience in Mexican dining. We shared a coned shape pastry made with tequila while I had American coffee and Marge, iced tea. Maria had enough coca­cola for today. While waiting for the bill, the girls 252

Our Lifelong Love Affair walked around the room admiring the real and artificial plants and flowers, the artwork on the walls, and several Mexican ceramic items.

It just occurred to me that I sound like the “unknown eater’’ doing one of his restaurant reviews. Probably we will not return again. there are so many restaurants in Tijuana to experience and their drink prices were quite high. Nevertheless, Marge and I enjoyed the day while Maria was filling all of these pleasant happenings away for future reflection. Three years and a dozen restaurants ago Maria had never been out to dinner. At this point in our relationship with Maria, her knowledge and awareness have increased to such an extent that I feel she would be worthy of a high school diploma. Or, at the very least, a GED! By the time we arrived back at Villa Fontana, the afternoon sun was less strong and casting long shadows. Fall was in the air, Marge suggested that we stop at URBI’s office to see just what the problem was with Maria’s “escritura”. While Maria and I waited in the car. Marge went in to grill Javier. He was supposed to see Maria the day before but he never showed. After she finished with him she brought him out to the car or Maria to have her say.

Javier apologized several times but to little avail. “I’m tired of all the lies from this company. How long do I have to wait until I receive these papers? “Poor Javier, he is only the middleman in this business.

He never loses his patience with us. We held little faith in his newest promise. After a short visit back to Maria’s house, we departed with the reminder that on the sixth of November, she will have her next house party. “Oh, I am so happy that I will see Mag and David again!”

Meg is also excited that she will see her friends again.

Saturday, November 6 “Manuel, Javier, it is 7 am, time to get up. Today is a special day for all of us; another party to celebrate our new home. Magie, David, Meg, and her husband, David, will be coming from San 253

DAVID ROWNTREE Diego, and Mario, Lulu, and Christina will be here also from Mariano Matamoros. Oh, what a fun day this will be! But first, we must clean the house so everything will look nice. It has been over two weeks since Magie and David visited me. How I miss them when they do not come here! Last night I could not sleep as I was so excited about today. Magie is bringing all the food. We need only to get ice and some beer. When the company comes Magie tells me to sit on my throne “and act like a queen.” On their last visit, David gave me a list of things to do to prepare for the party.

Everything looks very clean. Thank you boys and please behave today with all of our visitors.”

This was the first time Meg and Dave had been to Tijuana since the winter after the Carter project. Nine years. Marge suggested that I drive by Maria’s old room to show the kids. Meg and Dave were very excited about seeing Maria’s new house for the first time. Meanwhile, the two were getting quite an education seeing this area and all the crazy drivers flying by in all directions. It’s unbelievable how so many ignore stop signs and even traffic lights.

As we drove down Guillermo Prieto and slowed in front of that depressing little room. Meg commented about seeing a photo of the place but this was so much more shocking. I told the two that houses in this area would sell for $45,000 and more. The high cost of the land and its nearness to the border keeps prices up.

Paseo Cucapah, the main street in Villa Fontana, was bumper to bumper with Saturday afternoon traffic, a very busy time in Tijuana. It is the end of the workweek and everyone is shopping and preparing for their Sunday day of rest. Almost before we departed the car I heard, “adelante, adelante,” (come in, come in). Meg and David, I am so happy to see you again.” Last year at Maria’s birthday party in RB they met for the first time. After introductions to Manuel and Javier, I asked Maria to show Meg and Dave around her house. She was so proud and pleased and 254

Our Lifelong Love Affair went from room to room describing each. Marge was pleased also, and well she should be devoting many months of intense work to furnish Maria’s beautiful house to perfection. While outside the little house the noise and rush of traffic went on, we enjoyed our drinks and snacks and felt the happiness and contentment that Maria exulted. I know that we were just as happy as Maria about her first home.

What happened next just added joy to this special day. Manuel came in and told me that some people had parked next door. He thinks they are our friends. Friends are not strong enough to describe Christina and her son-in-law Mario. They burst into the little house with such enthusiasm that I believe Maria was taken back. She knows them well and beamed when they entered. They both speak English so Meg and Dave were not left out of any of the conversation. Things were so busy I think that it was Meg who gave them a tour of the house. They were very impressed with Maria’s “american” house. You can well imagine the house and all of its contents being paid for in cash. There is no one we know who is able to buy like that. Thank God again for all those who contributed to her house!

Only one more guest arrived; Lulu, Mario’s wife, Christina’s daughter. Lulu works weekends, 12 hours each day, and holidays as a nurse in a Tijuana hospital. She was not far behind the two and then the noises almost rivaled the outside. Lulu is just like her mother, socially, would be too soft to avoid what fun she is! She calls herself a “macha Mexicana”. Very political and a very loyal Mexican.

The next day was voting day in Mexico and so she was preaching the values of her party, P.R.I. Mario took all of this in stride calling her a Republican. Over the years I have seen the change in Lulu regarding Marge and me. A mild distrust has changed to a genuine love for us that is rivaled by our love for her and her family. I have talked of this family often, Montserrat, Berenice, Christopher, 255

DAVID ROWNTREE Danny, and Cesar, all highly educated, warm, good people. Though Danny is only five, he is very smart and learning English already.

We had sufficient wine and beer and soft drinks, but the wine proved to be the most popular. As Mario held up an empty bottle he remarked that it was not so good and then proceeded to open another. I think we finished six bottles. “David, may I have a taste of beer?” Marge and I almost fainted. This was Maria’s first experience with alcohol since we met. “I have never tasted beer before, honest, ask my boys.” Of course, we believe you. As she tasted a sip I saw her mouth twist in a negative way. “Oh, it is very bitter, but I will try some more.” The one-quarter cup of her beer she never did finish. She later switched to coke with her meal. Poor Maria, I think at times she is overwhelmed by all of our talking and good kidding. I remember at her first party she disappeared for a time I saw her in her room looking at the picture of Marge and me that Carlos gave her. Again today she left the clamoring crowd only to be found again in her room putting photos in the album Meg and Dave gave her. It is not surprising. For ten years Maria has been imprisoned in that cell at Guillermo Prieto without friends.

With the time passing seven pm, Marge started to prepare the table. The all-American fare of sliced turkey, jello salad, dill potato salad, and homemade rolls, was a big hit with everyone. Manuel and Javier ate in the tv room while the rest of us, eight in all, ate around the living room and dining room. We were just about at capacity for this little house. The conversation lessened as we all enjoyed the fine meal. Maria, you have finished your plate first. You were very hungry. “Yes, I did not eat anything today and besides my health has been better. Magie, you are such a good cook.”

Mario and I talked about restaurants in Tijuana, and he recommended several more that we should experience. He also wanted Marge’s recipe for the dill potato salad. Mario is always an interested teacher and lover of cooking. Lulu kept talking to 256

Our Lifelong Love Affair Marge and Meg with no thought that they could not understand her. Then Christina would intervene. Many of our friends assume that we understand Spanish completely and so they conduct their conversations accordingly. As I have mentioned several times before, the language barrier is no such barrier with most of our Mexican friends. Perhaps it is our general attitude but Marge and I have never had any problems communicating with clerks, shop­keepers, waiters, or anyone for that matter. Our problems were brought about by those so-called professionals who promised their help but ignored our phone calls and missed their appointments. Regardless, Maria and her boys have their house, and a fine house it is!

How far I have digressed. Anyway, the evening was going great.

The dessert, consisting of persimmon bread and lemon bread, was served along with American coffee. We had finally exhausted all the wine. Maria had bought me a bottle of Kahlua, which I had forgotten, otherwise, we would have had after-dinner drinks. If this party sounds like one long drinking bout, that assumption should not be made.

It was getting quite late, I knew that this time we would not make the 10 pm closing of the Otay border. As it turned out later we made good time driving back through town and leaving by the San Ysidro crossing.

Mario extended an invitation to Meg and Dave for dinner at his house. They thought that January would be a good time. Dave has his several-week break between semesters at that time. Mario also invited Marge and me to their house on 28 November, for dinner. Barring any problems with the weather, we will go down to Mariano Matamoros on that day.

“Magie, please do not clean up. Tomorrow I am not going to the border and we will clean everything in the morning.” Lulu helped to clean the dishes and Marge finished most of them. “When we will see you again Magie and David?” Within three weeks, my 257

DAVID ROWNTREE friend. I will call Hilda and tell her when we will visit again. “Till then, I will be waiting for you.”

Friday, November 19 This week I called Maria’s neighbor, Hilda, and told her that we would be visiting Maria on Friday. I like to talk to Hilda because she then has an excuse to visit next door. Poor lady, she is more confined to her house than Maria. Her husband, Alfonso, keeps her in all the time. He often yells at her and is a regular tyrant. Their son, Norberto, is a perfect gentleman, with a very outgoing personality.

I have not met their daughter, Maruja, but she seems very nice the few times I spoke with her on the phone. The two children have jobs that keep them away from the house for long hours at a time perhaps to escape their father’s continual complaining.

Marge and I had planned to take Maria out for tacos but again she had cooked a meal for us. Marge scolds her for cooking on each of our visits. We hate to see her doing any unnecessary work around the kitchen. Nevertheless, she wants to reciprocate in some way. “David, look, I bought you a bottle of Kahlua for your birthday.

Is that ok?” What could I say at this point except to thank her for the gift and later we would sample this wonderful liquor.

Javier was home today since he did not have school. Manuel was just preparing to leave for his afternoon session. He still lacks two books and part of his uniform. That, however, is the school’s problem since they order these items. Maria is having problems with Manuel and his constant asking her for money to buy all sorts of things like his friends have. Now that they live in a new, upscale neighborhood, he is experiencing a great deal of peer pressure.

Manuel does not realize that he is still a poor fourteen-year-old living in a neighborhood so much nicer than Guillermo Prieto.

It brings tears to my eyes when I think how hard it is for their 258

Our Lifelong Love Affair mother to earn those few dollars each week. At their age, they cannot realize what torture it is for her to drag that twisted body aboard two buses and spend one and one-half hours traveling to the border. Recently when Maria went to an eye doctor he told her that her eyesight was fine but the fumes from the cars were burning her eyes and making them red. Someday the boys will appreciate what their mother has done for them.

3 December On today’s trip to Maria’s house, we brought a large amount of clothing for her to sell. Whatever success she has selling things means one less day sitting between the cars. We are trying to convince her that one day each week is enough. The sale items and food that Marge often brings should subsidize her enough. “Magie, Magie, Magie. I am so happy to see you. I did not sleep last night I was so excited about your visit.”

“This time I did not cook for you, Magie says that I should not cook. “ Good at last you are taking our suggestion. Besides, we are going to the taco restaurant on Blvd. Cucapah. Marge and I have eaten there and the food is very good. Manuel was preparing for school after a week of being sick. His mother kept him out of school for two days. Playing soccer at school he got his feet wet and they remained that way all day. Hence, the fever and cold. We brought two new jackets for the boys that Marge had picked out and purchased. After Marge’s talk with Diane about the boy’s lack of winter clothing, she offered to pay for one and said her cousin, Gail would pay for the other. Manuel’s fit very well but unfortunately, he dares not wear it to school. It would be stolen immediately.

Javier will get his tonight when he returns to Aranjuez.

We had better go soon for the temperature is falling rapidly.

Maria, you cannot go out without a sweater or Jacket. “Don’t worry.

259

DAVID ROWNTREE David, I will not be cold. Besides, I cannot walk well wearing a jacket or sweater. “Get something, please! She returned with the beautiful, white shawl Marge had given her. The boys at the taco shop remembered us and gave us good service. Maria and I ordered the tacos tripas. Tripas is just as it sounds tripe. It was very good, but Marge did not partake. After the very tasty meal, we returned to Maria’s house where I made coffee and we shared a “cheese pie’’ that Marge had received after she made a donation to an anti-drug organization. She always gives to organizations that are trying to help those addicted to drugs.

We will visit you again Maria on December 17. That day we will begin our eighth Christmas food drive for our friends to the south.

I always tell our friends that “ Senor Pavo”, Mr. Turkey, is coming to see them. “How well I remember that first year you brought us food and a turkey. I had never eaten turkey before. I wondered then why these Americans were doing so much for my boys and me. We were strangers who had hardly ever spoken to Americans. They came into that cold, dark room with these wonderful gifts. Four years later I know the answer, they love me. They love Maria Martinez Gomez, a poor crippled Indian girl who lived in a shack and never had one day of school. They love Manuel and Javier equally.

17 December 1999 Today will mark the first delivery of foods on this our eighth annual food collection. Today Marge and I will head south with turkeys and candy and other treats for Pablo Lopez and his wife, Alicia, and their daughter, Yareli. We first met Pablo when Maria was having her brace fittings with Carlos. Since that time Pablo has obtained his own shoe repair shop in Matamoros and is doing better now that he is becoming more known in that busy area.

Carlos is still teaching Pablo the orthotist trade and is pushing 260

Our Lifelong Love Affair more and more business to his student. Many pages back I told of both parents’ affliction with polio and their ability to overcome the ravages of this disease. Their most telling example would be Yareli, a wonderful nine-year-old daughter. Polite, well­spoken, a perfect delight of a girl. The three greeted us like family, with hugs and kisses. Completely genuine people with no anticipation of pending gifts. Once received, their appreciation was totally sincere. “David, when are you and Margarita coming to our house for dinner?’ “Alicia asked. I promise you that we will come soon, after the new year. There are so many invitations from our friends and so little time to travel south. Nevertheless, Alicia’s request will be granted.

Maria Elena Davalos, la “doctora’’, lives quite close to Pablo. For several years now el Senor Pavo has been visiting this family. If you have read previous pages of this journey you will know of this family and our bond of friendship with them. So many changes between visits. La doctor a has been building a second story on her house while Princesa Diana has finished her high school classes and is working in the medical division of Segura Social, with her sister, Mari. Alejandro was already at work and Diana was just going to her job. We chatted extensively with la doctora.

Years ago, Marge and I decided that some families would receive foods, turkey, candy, and the works. Others slightly more fortunate, candy and a turkey. Still others, candy only. How surprised we were when she gave us a beautiful gift a dried fruit.

Doctora gave us a tour of her second-floor project. A large bedroom, bathroom, and small kitchen area. Her “suite” as she called it. Diana and Alejandro will keep the house on the main floor. The several windows will offer her a bright room with a fine view of the surrounding area.

On the other hand, Mari and her three, having suffered the loss of their husband and father from the home several months 261

DAVID ROWNTREE ago, due to his infidelities, lost him permanently in a deadly car accident three weeks ago. The family is in turmoil but the fact that Mari is building a house very near her mother will help keep her mind occupied. Marge offered to have a housewarming party at Maria’s when the project is finished. Doctora was very grateful.

In addition, they all will be coming to RB this next spring for the weekend.

“David, please drive over and see Maria’s house. It is just down the street behind Kuroda.” We will indeed, doctora. With that, we said our goodbyes and left. Maria’s house is on a hill with a beautiful view of the entire area. A two-level brick and concrete structure. It looks like next spring the party will be a reality.

By now it was late afternoon and the temperature was still in the mid 70’s. What a December day! From doctora’s it was a short drive to Maria’s “ residential “ as she calls it. “Hola, hola, Magie, Magie, Magie, come in, come in. I have been waiting for you. “While I unloaded the car with Manuel’s help. Marge was admiring Maria’s new dress; a pretty blue over which she wore a red and white checkered apron. How much did the dress cost, Maria? Really, we are not nosey but she loves to play the bargain game with us. Five dollars? “No, no, 9 pesos.” About one dollar.

Wow!! What a bargain! It is so hard for me to find dresses in my size. Next time I will go over to Ley and look for something. “How goes the selling?” Good, thank God. I sold most of the clothes and a man is coming back tomorrow to buy the wood plane you brought. He will pay $20 for that. I would much rather sell here at my house than go to the linea. “Absolutely! We had brought a good selection of clothing and dolls that should sell well this Christmas season. “ I made chicken mole and rice. Do you want wheat or corn tortillas? “Marge did not scold her this time but said that she could not eat for at least one hour and a half. It is so hard to deny Maria’s generosity. Meanwhile, she bombarded us with beer, 262

Our Lifelong Love Affair chips, and nuts. We gave Maria and Manuel their Christmas gifts and bid them open them now. Manuel and Javier received some of those chocolate-wrapped gold coins with a ten-dollar bill attached.

I neglected to mention that our first stop today was at Guillermo Prieto to drop candy off for dona Emilia, Luz, Erick, and Jaime.

Javier was there waiting to go to a party at his school. He looked very sharp in a new t-shirt and new pants. Tomorrow, Saturday he will go back to Villa Fontana. Maria received a beautiful rosemary Christmas tree, a tablecloth for her company, and a $50 bill from her “tio Juanito”, brother John. Cousin Gail sent a picture of herself with the inscription, “now you know what I look like”. This found its way into her photo album almost immediately.

263

DAVID ROWNTREE

A CHRISTMAS STORY

A

s we sat at Maria’s table and began to enjoy the excellent meal she had prepared, Marge told Maria about the sad news in our life; the illness of our friend

of many years. John, in Hawaii, and the same affliction that has struck her brother, “tio” Juan. The two have been very important and very supportive in her changing life. Visibly shaken by this news, Maria responded that she will pray for both. Marge added that she felt Maria had a special relationship with God and her prayers would be heard. I added that she is indeed a holy person.

“No, no, David, I am not holy, but I have faith, a faith that has brought me to where I am today. Let me tell you a story of faith.

Many years ago when Manuel was only five and Javy, was three, I used to go to Avenida Revolucion and beg. One day I met a lady who stopped to talk with me about my life. ‘Do you have a house, senora, for you and your babies? “Look at me, I am so crippled and I am here in Tijuana with nothing but my two sons. We live in a storage shed with no water or electricity and my braces are almost useless. “Senora, do I not have the same affliction, the same braces, and canes? Like you, I was stricken with polio many years ago. I prayed to God and had faith in His wisdom and one day He sent me a wonderful man who became my husband. Now I have this man and a home where before I had nothing. “I also have dreamed and prayed for a home for my boys and me.”Keep praying, senora, do not stop. ‘Five years after that chance meeting, you and Magie came into my life.”

At this time I should add this update.

Maria’s prayers were answered again. Hawaii John is recovering from a successful surgery and “tio” John’s illness was not as dreadful as first thought.

264

Our Lifelong Love Affair What could be said after such a gripping account? She has told us to her tales that were fascinating but none as powerful as this.

Remember the story of the crippled man at the border who was beaten by his family when he did not collect enough money? Do you remember back near the start of this journal the lady whom Maria met on the bus from Guadalajara? Who told Maria about the storage shed on Guillermo Prieto that became their home for ten years? And of course, her depiction of those first years of life after polio struck, dragging herself about her father’s meager land, so crippled she became almost animal-like, pawing her way through the dirt, the dust, and mess from the farm animals? How many more stories do Maria have locked away in that mind? There must be many. I’m sure they will come out eventually. Maria has always said that she never forgets.

“David and Magie, I am so sorry that I do not have your Christmas gifts. “Say no more, my friend. Magie has suggested that you should take us out to a restaurant in January. That will be your gift to us. “Oh yes, that is fine, I will eagerly await the day.” Our many restaurant excursions have had a two-sided effect on Maria. On the one hand, feeling quite important she is able to express her gratitude and on the other hand, she enters again into that wonderful world of people interacting with each other. As I have said many times before. Maria is a very intelligent, sociable lady. Once she left that terrible, lonely room her progress has been in one direction: up!

“Magie, the boys’ jackets are just fine. They fit well and are very warm. When will you be visiting me again? I understand that you have things to do with Meg and David, and you will be busy these next few weeks. But, please not…”Don’t even say the words (“forget me”). No, we will not. No, it is not possible. We will see you in mid-January, ok? I’ll call Hilda on a date. “Fine, I will await your call.”

265

DAVID ROWNTREE Lastly, Maria, follow my instructions on cooking your turkey and have fun and enjoy your first Christmas in your own home

Sunday, December 19 What started on Friday, would be finished today; the completion of our ninth Christmas food collection. My dear companion and helper, John, will not be with me this year. Our friends to the south will be asking for him. In his stead, Patricia Chavez agreed to accompany me to Mariano Matamoros. Patricia has been on the list for many years. Loaded with eight turkeys, twenty-some boxes of candy, assorted foods, clothes, and whatnot, I headed down the highway feeling like that old boy, Saint Nick. I arrived at Patricia’s just as she was returning with Christian from grocery shopping.

She was in very bad shape with bronchitis. There would be no trip for her today. “Luis Enrique will accompany you, ok David? ‘’Yes, of course. The family lived for five years on the edge of the Carter project and so Luis has many friends in the area. I spoke of Luis before. He with the twisted foot and the five operations in Mexico.

None of which were successful. Then we sent him up to Shriners and they did the job with great results.

On this our last trip before the millennium, I want to mention all those who are benefitting from this Year’s collection. Friday we visited Maria, the Doctora and Pablo. Today we stopped to see Juan Filorio and his family. Mom and dad were not home but Faviola and Freddie greeted us. So little when I first met them ten years ago. Now they are all grown up. Beautiful Faviola, eighteen and speaking almost perfect English has finished high school and is working in the tele-marketing field. Freddie, two years younger and as handsome as an actor is still in high school. Many years ago I asked their mother, Mary de los Angeles, from whom the kids inherited their light skin, hazel eyes, and freckles. Though 266

Our Lifelong Love Affair both mom and dad are a handsome couple they are obviously of latino descent. “My mother has light skin, freckles, and blue eyes.

It must be from the Spanish influence.” I must find out if Fabiola has plans for college. A good investment that young lady. A turkey and candy for the family Filorio. Christina Mendez was not home so we took her candy over to Mario’s. You know all about Mario and his family. A turkey and candy for Mario and candy for his married kids. Berenice and Ulises and Cesar and Juanita. Our next stop was at the home of Maria Jesus another long-time friend.

Widowed a few years ago, Maria watches her girls’ children. At near seventy years of age, Maria is one of the older residents of the project. Still maintaining some of her knowledge of English, Maria loves to visit with Marge. Today Marge is finishing off a cold and trying to prepare for the Christmas weekend. A turkey and candy for dear friend Maria. I was disappointed that the community elder don Nacho Perez, was not at home. Mario will take his turkey and candy.

Our friendship goes back to that week in June 1990, when fifteen hundred volunteers build one hundred houses in Mariano Matamoros. Nacho was one of the maestros of the project. He was a master of construction and loved by all.

Maricela Figueroa, a mother of six and grandmother of two, was our next stop. We loaded her up with food, candy, clothing, and a turkey. This is a very poor family still without water or electricity.

Next, one of our very favorite people, Prisciliana Cuellar. A frequent visitor to our home. Prisciliana is the cement that has held together her six children after their father left them. A quiet-spoken, hardworking, semi-literate lady, she has raised six outstanding children who love her without reservation. Prisciliana receives as much as we can give based on what she has accomplished under such very difficult conditions. Did I mention that she works nights at a plant in the loading division? Picture that at forty-five years of 267

DAVID ROWNTREE age. It is Prisciliana’s custom to invite us each year for lunch on this occasion. She was very saddened to hear about Hawaii John’s illness, John promised that he will visit her this summer. Peche, we’ll return shortly but I must see Elva for a few minutes. Elva Duarte, Karina’s mother has been on our list from the beginning.

Do you remember Karina: the beautiful crippled girl who spent her life on crutches? Shriners changed all of that. Still beautiful, still shy, with a smile that could end a storm, Karina will never advance from where she is today. All the intelligence is there but nothing else. Raul is the last hope for education. Raul, the youngest of the seven, is a student, and a smart student. Please, Raul, break that chain of illiteracy break loose and show them how good we know you are. Already knowing how to type, now he is studying computers six hours each week and English three hours weekly.

Plus all the other eight subjects. He has a light attitude he has gone further than all the rest. Our friend D. will pay whatever the cost as long as he stays in school. So that’s the list. We’ve added some and dropped some over the years. Cuca, such a dear friend. was married last year and seems to have dropped out of sight. Maria saw her at the border but no contact with us. There were several others who received only a box of candy, Jair and Isabel, Luz and Erick, dona Emila from Maria’s old neighborhood. Cruz and Leonardo, Elva’s daughter and husband. Some we can no longer find and others have moved to better surroundings, thereby not needing our help.

That’s good for there will always be a poor family ready to fill the empty space.

What of those who have helped us over these past nine years?

From year to year, the number has changed but I must mention those good people who have come to our aid every year. Gene and Micky, Cathy and Emmett, Helga and Vince, Margaret, Earl and Betty, Madalon. Patty and Dan, Diane S. Pat and John, and brother John. Without their faithful support, our efforts to give 268

Our Lifelong Love Affair these families a happy Christmas would never have been met with such great success.

Today is our date at Mario’s so the girls will get a ride home.

Patricia, to el Lago, and Peche, to Maria no. The SD trolley and two Tijuana buses usually would take three hours or more. It was an all too short of a stay but this quiet time always helps these friends to build up their reserve and face again that hard, hard life just a few miles south of the richest land in the world.

We will call you ladies about our date in March.

Mario’s house is always bursting with activity and friendship.

Lulu was home and Mario, Montse, and Danny were. After we announced our arrival, we took a quick walk over to Juan Filorio’s house. He is the husband of Mary de los Angeles and the father of Faviola and Freddie. Juan was home and he thanked us genuinely as I gave him this year’s donation. He told us to wait as he went inside and returned shortly with two beautiful hand made leather bags. This is what Juan does for his living; he makes all types of leather goods for shipment to the tourist center on Ave. Revolucion.

He does beautiful work.

Christina lives next door to this family and so we looked to see if she was home; not yet. Back we went to Mario’s and what a surprise I was in for! Lulu was in the kitchen, cooking It was the first time Marge and I had seen her cook. I grabbed my chest feigning collapse and sat in the nearest chair. Lulu thought that was very funny. Mari de los Angeles came over about that time with Faviola to thank us for their gift. Mari and her family were one of the very first friends we encountered at the Carter project. During that great week of construction four or five of us set up a stucco class for the volunteers. Donny and Sylvia Burkett from Florida were teaching also. Over the years they have been faithful donors to our many causes in Mariano. Anyway, I met Mari that week.

Funny how we remember some people out of all those hundreds.

269

DAVID ROWNTREE I remember Christina and Lola and Luz Elena and Don Nacho.

Mari joined us for a cocktail, a martini at that! It was her first martini. After her second I told her that she may need help getting no home. For her, the home was lust across the street. While Lulu was preparing the wonderful meal we were having great fun.

Mario was acting as bartender bringing out all sorts of before and after dinner drinks. Today the kitchen was not to be his. About this time Christina burst upon the scene. She does indeed explode into a room. She quickly joined us all with her cocktail and the conversation sped on.

We talked of many things and the word “chismoso”, meaning nosey, entered the conversation often. The biggest news was that Uxmal, has finally been paved with concrete. After almost ten years the government decided that they would do their street. Each family was assessed an amount to give toward the cost of the work; $200 and they could pay this sum in several installments. Some of the homeowners, including Mario, Christina and Mari took it upon themselves to help to collect from each homeowner. Several refused to pay. However, the last laugh will not be theirs. The city will triple the amount due if they do not pay. Consequently, fifty or so feet remain unpaved. I have no doubt that this street will be completed in the next few months.

I kidded Christina about the week during the project when she kept asking Jimmy Carter to come over to her house and work.

He finally relented and near the end of one work day, they had a mini-dedication in front of her home. The Carters, some local leaders, a bishop, and of course, Christina. What a friend she would become. Most of the rest of our friends we met that summer when we traveled south every Saturday to help complete the project.

Dinner was served. I had asked Mario for a simple meal of tacos to spare him the work. Little did I know that Lulu was the Mexican food master and Mario did the French and other types of 270

Our Lifelong Love Affair cuisine. I forget the names of all the servings but it was delicious; a lettuce salad with homemade dressing, a wonderful puree bean soup, various salads, a large casserole of meat and vegetable, small very tasty tacos, topped off with a curd-milk mixture for dessert. It was excellent. Then of course. Mario brought out his after-dinner drinks. Mari’s husband must have wonderfully whatever happened to her. That soft-spoken gentleman would never come looking for his wife. Along those lines, we talked a great about “machos”, from either side of the border. Among our experiences, the Mexicans seem to have the edge. I could run you off a list of our Mexican friends who are not the least bit “macho”. With those types, we simply would not associate. Lulu is our most “macha” friend.

I was keeping one eye on the clock since I did not want to miss the Otay border closing at 10 pm. Actually, the trip to San Ysidro is not that much longer but I am more familiar with the Otay area.

Driving out of Mariano on that terrible Ruta Hidalgo is very scary at night due to all holes and year-round muddy areas. Thanks to all the wonderful meals and evenings, when we met with these old friends to share food, memories and strengthens our bonds that go back to the uncomfortable week in June 1990.

271

DAVID ROWNTREE

UNFORGETTABLE

M

arge and I agree that page 199 is the perfect place to end this phase of our story. It will mark the end of the year 1999 and the beginning of a new millennium.

With the year 2000, we will continue writing of future visits with our dear Mexican friends. These gracious people have opened up a very different world to us, a world that has forever changed our lives!

272

Our Lifelong Love Affair

273

DAVID ROWNTREE

274