December 22, 2016 – OC Weekly

NEW ALT˜RIGHTLOSER TO LAUGH AT | BEST MEXICAN CHRISTMAS SONGS | HOLIDAYS WITH MR. HI˜TIME DECEMBER 23-29, 2016 | VOLUME 22 | NUMBER 17

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IS LONG GONE, BUT THE SPIRIT OF OUR FIRST PUNK STORE LIVES ON

My name is Barney and I am 3 years old. I was rescued by German Shepherd Rescue of Orange County. Before they rescued me, I was living in a house with 35 other dogs and we did not have any food.

I am safe now, and my tummy is full, but my fellow orphans and I are still waiting for families of our own. GSROC is caring for 80 of us right now, and there are many more that need help.

Do you think you could help us, Santa? We have been trying to be really good dogs, and we heard you can do magic. To meet us, people can visit GSROC.ORG to learn more!

While we are waiting for our special families, here are a few things that my friends and I could really use: -Petco or Petsmart Cards - any amount - Gasoline cards to get us to and from vets - Kirkland beds for large dogs - Martingale collars -- 22"- 24" - Kuranda (TM) brand beds for large dogs - Advantage Plus for Large dogs - Thundershirts (TM) -- size XL - Donations in any amount

Love, Barney with the crooked smile

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The County

06 | MOXLEY CONFIDENTIAL |

Arthur Schaper battles “un-American” Latinos, liberals, “tyrannical” gays and the media. By R. Scott Moxley 07 | ¡ASK A MEXICAN! | Is my black grandmother actually Mexican?

By Gustavo Arellano 07 | HEY, YOU! | Left turn, right turn, point of no return. By Anonymous

Feature

09 | MUSIC | Remembering Costa

Mesa’s London Exchange, OC’s first punk shop. By Nate Jackson

Mia is Long Beach’s best new coffee shop. By Sarah Bennett

Film

25 | REVIEW | How to spend your holiday: Bad Santa 2 or Office Christmas Party? By Matt Coker

Culture

26 | ART | OC’s best art of 2016 was frequently woman-made or -curated.

By Dave Barton 26 | TRENDZILLA | What to buy the artist in your life this holiday season.

By Aimee Murillo

Music

28 | LISTICLE | Ten great Mexican

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Calendar

15 | EVENTS | Things to do while

bending like Bender Rodriguez.

Food

22 | REVIEW | South Coast Plaza’s Water Grill is pricey—but is it worth it? By Edwin Goei 22 | HOLE IN THE WALL | Hue Thuong in Garden Grove.

By Gustavo Arellano 23 | EAT THIS NOW | Tacos de papa at #TACOLIFE. By Denise De La Cruz 23 | DRINK OF THE WEEK | St. George Dry Rye Reposado Gin.

By Gustavo Arellano 24 | LONG BEACH LUNCH | Tierra

Christmas songs. By Gustavo Arellano 29 | PROFILE | Thee Commons revive

old-school cumbia with a psychedelic twist. By Kim Conlan 30 | LOCALS ONLY | BD Jazz Duo do gamer music—in jazz form!

By Yvonne Villaseñor

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EDITOR Gustavo Arellano MANAGING EDITOR Nick Schou ASSOCIATE EDITOR Patrice Marsters SENIOR EDITOR, NEWS & INVESTIGATIONS R. Scott Moxley STAFF WRITERS Mary Carreon, Matt Coker, Gabriel San Román MUSIC EDITOR Nate Jackson WEB EDITOR Taylor Hamby CALENDAR EDITOR Aimee Murillo CLUBS EDITOR Denise De La Cruz EDITORIAL ASSISTANT/ PROOFREADER Lisa Black CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Reyan Ali, Dave Barton, Joel Beers, Sarah Bennett, Lilledeshan Bose, Kyle Cavaness, Josh Chesler, Heidi Darby, Alex Distefano, Edwin Goei, Michael Goldstein, LP Hastings, Daniel Kohn, Dave Lieberman, Adam Lovinus, Todd Mathews, Patrick Montes, Katrina Nattress, Nick Nuk’em, Anne Marie Panoringan, Amanda Parsons, Ryan Ritchie, Andrew Tonkovich, Chris Ziegler EDITORIAL INTERNS Angelena Grady, Cynthia Rebolledo, Yvonne Villaseñor

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The Anti-Protester Protester Arthur Schaper battles ‘un-American’ Latinos, liberals, ‘tyrannical’ gays and the media

S

ix days after Donald Trump’s election, peaceful protesters stood oblivious to impending hostility outside Trump National Golf Course in Rancho Palos Verdes. The small group, including a kid and an elderly woman, waved signs including “Love Trumps Hate,” “No H8” and “Trump: Not Suitable for Young Viewers.” SpotCONFIDENTIAL ting the scene, an irked Arthur Christopher Schaper, who considers California Democrats “a bunch of pansies,” parked R SCOTT his vehicle, grabbed a camcorder and, MOXLEY without introduction, launched into a filmed interrogation.

Labeled a heckler, he defiantly remained, turning his attention to a middle-aged man holding a poster that proclaimed, “RIP Civility, 11-8-2016.”

“I’ll tell you what,” he lectured the man.

“What you’re calling incivility is something we kind of need in this country because political correctness is killing our culture.”

Fast becoming one of Southern California’s most relentless conservative, Biblequoting activists, Schaper originally resisted jumping on the Trump bandwagon because of earlier pro-gay and pro-choice stances.

He favored Scott Walker in the GOP primaries because of the Wisconsin governor’s war on public employee unions. When Walker faded, he liked Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and U.S. Senator Ted Cruz.

Nowadays, the tall, husky, 36-year-old Torrance resident eagerly awaits January’s inauguration. It helped that the New York billionaire re-tweeted Schaper’s election-eve column at Townhall.com, “What I Like About Trump and Why You Need to Vote for Him.” Wearing an undersized Trump campaign T-shirt, he almost sobbed speaking to a post-election crowd in Victorville. “[Trump] kicks ass!”

Schaper said. “He beat down the media better than anybody. I love this! To see all of these creepy, crappy, media frauds getting kicked in the teeth. It’s so precious!”

Slamming progressives as racist, fascist and “pro-government,” Schaper’s excitement for construction of a “big, beautiful wall” on our nation’s border with Mexico can be summed up in one of his Tweets, “How do you like us now, bitchez?”

A self-styled “citizen journalist and activist” who is vague about how he makes a living, Schaper serves as voluntary director of California’s branch of

moxley

» .

MassResistance, a socially conservative, Massachusetts-created organization.

The group supports state mandates against abortion, opposes government interference with bullying, objects to FBI and CIA hiring of gay employees, and dismisses all discussions of homosexuality that aren’t condemnations. Such stances caused the Southern Poverty Law Center to designate MassResistance a hate group.

For his part, Schaper’s duties include what he touts as an “aggressive” attack on the “vulgar, virulent homosexual lobby” that espouses “Orwellian nonsense.” He believes too many conservative organizations aren’t confrontational enough to be effective. “LGBT bigotry,” “LGBT oppression” and the “LGBT hate machine” require constant battle because of the “assault on liberty, life and reality.” In short, gay Americans are, he maintains, the real bigots in our society.

And Schaper is dreaming big. He hopes Trump turns California—“the land of fruits and nuts”—into Republican-controlled territory, where homosexuality and transgenderism are officially deemed “mental disorders.” In his view, the heterosexual majority should withdraw civil-rights protections for same-sex couples. “Not all of us are fruits and nuts” who will tolerate “the malaise of cultural Marxism [that] is destroying California,” he observed.

Schaper, who has taught in public and charter schools, led a May protest against Target in Torrance after the store’s corporate headquarters in Minneapolis announced a policy of “inclusion” for transgender people’s restroom access.

Local Target management attempted to quash the gathering—even calling police— but Schaper refused to back down, noting he has a constitutional right to protest.

He espoused an unequivocal message: “Transgenderism is a disorder—not something to be accommodated, not something to be recognized or celebrated.”

The following month, MassResistance confronted Target’s stockholders, who’d gathered at the Segerstrom Center for the Arts in Costa Mesa. Protesters repeatedly shouted, “Boycott Target!”

The Orange County Register quoted Schaper uttering the old line “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”

JOE ROCCO

Energized by the skirmishes, Schaper targeted a state official. He memorialized the event online, commenting, “[We] pounded the pro-LGBT political establishment on June 29 by staging an in-your-face protest at the office of [state] Senator Ricardo Lara in Long Beach.

Senator Lara, a ‘radical’ gay activist, is the sponsor and main force behind the infamous [California Senate Bill] S1146.”

Lara wants the proposed legislation to ban the use of taxpayer funds to discriminate against gay and lesbian citizens.

Schaper, however, sees a nefarious plot. “[The bill’s goal] is to force Christian colleges to surrender their opposition to homosexuality and transgender behavior,” he wrote in July. “Let’s be blunt. The LGBT movement is not about individual liberty, but collective tyranny.”

After receiving critical online comments, he responded, “The LGBT haters are attacking me on Twitter, too. . . . But we have a promise in Isaiah 54:17.”

Lately, Schaper has targeted Taiwan, potentially on the verge of being Asia’s first nation to recognize gay marriage.

He has issued statements calling for that country to reject anything but “natural marriage” because “gay marriage is, in fact, a Trojan horse full of unintended, negative consequences. . . . The devastating impact to public health and individual rights cannot be ignored.”

In an interview with OC Weekly, the California native sought to slightly soften his persona, stating, “I know people

whom I am friendly with regardless of their sexual feelings.” But he loathes gay activists because, he says, they’ve “co-opted” the civilrights movement that belongs to black citizens because “people are born black.” Undercover videos recorded at gay bars by ex-gay-movement activists led him to conclude, “Most of the gays themselves admitted that they were not born that way.” Molested children become gay, he thinks.

Distinguishing himself from Westboro Baptist Church antics Schaper calls “evil,” he isn’t a single-issue complainer. Latinos who don’t obey Republican Party orthodoxy are also in his crosshairs. For example, he has called the Weekly’s Gabriel San Román a racist on Twitter.

In December, Congress failed to enact the Chicano Park Preservation Act, which would have protected artistic public murals in San Diego. According to Schaper, Chicano art is “anti-American” and based on “neo-Nazi hatred.” (San Román responded, “Blah, blah, blah.”) But to prove his point, Schaper blogged about a “particularly disturbing” photograph of one mural he thought celebrates a swastika. He didn’t know the symbol is the reverse of Adolf Hitler’s propaganda piece and originated in ancient Buddhism.

We’d never heard of Schaper until November, when he commented on an article about a wild radio appearance by ex-OC Congressman Robert K. Dornan, who engaged in rumble-style politics in this region during the 1970s and ’80s.

This month, he orchestrated additional news coverage against Olga Cox, an Orange Coast College instructor who was recorded telling students that Trump is a white supremacist. In dozens of tweets, he made his point: “Shame on Orange Coast for putting nut bags before students.”

Any PR war hoping to change hearts and minds must deliver its messages to the masses. Schaper knows this tenet. After his confrontation at the Trump golf course, he made sure the showdown is available for worldwide consumption. He posted his video on YouTube and added a headline: “Delusional Rich White Spoiled SJWS Protest at Trump Golf Course (Very Sad!).”

RSCOTTMOXLEY@OCWEEKLY.COM

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» gustavo arellano

Special Year-End Edition DEAR MEXICAN: I recently saw a picture of you in a newspaper article. I was quite shocked. You appear to have more of a European skin tone. However, since your relatives lived in Mexico in the past 200 years, I guess you think of yourself as a Mexican. I tend to think Mexican-looking people have more of that native flavor or color. And your last name is actually Basque.

So this makes sense. . . . Have a good day, my European/Mexican dude.

Macho Man in New Mexico DEAR SURUMATO: The town of Arellano might be in the autonomous Basque Country region of Navarre, Spain, but “Arellano” comes from Latin and denotes “farm of Aurelius.” And while one part of my Mexican ancestry came from Europe (a mixture of Portuguese, French and Sephardic Jews, since “Arellano” is listed in the Inquisition rolls), the other part is Chichimeca, ready to chingarte for your chisme.

DEAR MEXICAN: My grandmother died, like all people of this world, but there was something fascinating that I was able to discover after her time. She was possibly born in Vera Cruz, Mexico. From what I understand—and that may be very little when it comes to American history—it always seems to be a bit cloudy, and this tradition has been passed down from generation to generation of black Americans. During my lifetime, many questions of our past or ancestral history have been unclear, unlike the Mexican or Asian culture of this great country. I’m American through and through—California-raised, so I can easily identify with the Latin culture. I also speak Spanish, which was a prerequisite for survival back in the ’70s. What light can you shed on the mystery of Vera Cruz and

N

its relation to Americans or blacks?

Constancia—Not Your Tia Concha DEAR NEGRITA: The way you spelled Vera Cruz, methinks your abuelita was actually born in the towns by the same names in Indiana, Missouri, Ohio and Pennsylvania, all named after the Gulf Coast city in Mexico. But let’s say she was actually born in Mexico—in that case, you’re connected to one of the proudest black traditions in the Western Hemisphere. Veracruz the state is one of two regions in Mexico with a significant population of Afro-Mexicans (the Costa Chica region spanning the states of Guerrero and Oaxaca is the other). Near the city Veracruz was the first freeman town in the Americas: San Lorenzo de los Negros, created after a colony of ex-slaves led by Gaspar Yanga successfully fended off conquistadors (a statue of Yanga still stands in Veracruz proper). The famous singer Toña La Negra came from Veracruz, as did the rhythms of son jarocho. Even if your grandmother were born in the U.S., it’s better to say she’s from Mexico: After all, would you want your heritage to go back to some Podunk Rust Belt town?

GRACIAS, READERS! For another great year of letters, tweets, handshakes and the like. I wish I could tell ustedes I have a new project to shameless self-promote in the coming year—but I don’t. Just the same DESMADRE we’ve had in this columna for 12 years, all thanks to ustedes. The Mexican is going back to the rancho to spend Navidad, so I’ll be running a Best Of edición next week. Happy holidays—oh, and #fucktrump.

ASK THE MEXICAN at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter, or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

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fter reading the Hey, You! titled “Five Seconds to the Apocalypse,” I am compelled to respond.

There was a very interesting fact left out: Was the turn BOB AUL being made a left or right? This is important to determine who the real douchebag is. If it were a right turn, I agree with the comments made. If it were a LEFT turn, then shame on Anonymous! I see multiple no-left-turn signs ignored on a daily basis, backing up traffic. Being a longtime resident of Dana Point, I want to be sure the facts are straight.

Maybe, just maybe, the person was not screaming at you because they were impatient, but instead letting you know what a jerk you may have been. Facts make a difference!

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Thirty-five years ago, the southern tip of the 55 freeway was nothing but a half-dug ditch and rows of shrubs. From this spot on Newport Boulevard and with the help of friends, London Exchange carved a niche into the skin of OC punk. As cars whizz by, McGahey points out the invisible past of a bygone era. “This used to be the only road in and out of the beach,” he says.

“When people were coming home from the beach, this road was all backed up. So that was kinda good in that sense for us to have that exposure.”

“You could say, ‘I didn’t like this band,’ or ‘This guy was a dick,’ or ‘I hated that guy,’ or ‘That guy was a junkie,’ but there’s nobody who can say they didn’t go to London Exchange—and nobody who can say they don’t love Craig McGahey,” says his brother Denny, the original guitarist of Shattered Faith. “He could’ve been the mayor of punk rock.”

Before corporations mainstreamed spikes and slam pits, a group of misfits stubbornly kept punk fashion alive in Orange County. London Exchange was a manifestation of DIY spirit that defined McGahey’s life, which almost ended during an armed robbery at the store’s final location, before it closed for good 25 years ago this month.

McGahey and his band of misfits are now middle-aged, saddled with the responsibilities and bills their musical heroes railed about in their youth.

But collected mementos and flashbacks of old times remind them of the impact London Exchange had. “It’s cool, especially when someone says how important it was at the time or what it meant to them,” McGahey says.

“When I first sold you a pair of shoes, I didn’t expect that.”

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Remembering the spirit of London Exchange, Orange County’s first punk store

by NATE JACKSON

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ost people spend their entire lives in search of their dream job. Craig McGahey found it at age 16. Punk-rock apparel turned a hapless high schooler into a bona-fide businessman.

The store he ran for 10 years, London Exchange, was more than just a place to buy buttons and T-shirts; it was a punker’s paradise, a fountain in which members of the OC scene could refresh themselves before, during and after shows. When the shop door swung open, it reflected nothing of the Reagan-era suburbia from which customers were trying to escape. Instead, London Exchange was what everyone who flocked there wanted it to be: a limey rat hole that felt like home.

Black leather and punk gear hung from walls coated with band stickers and posters of demonic and dazzling superfreaks. Display cases held studs, pins and patches to be worn like armor plating on denim and leather. Awkward outcasts and cocksure rebels roamed the racks, hunting for bondage pants and Doc Martens and posters of the New York Dolls posing in all their coked-out, transvestite glory.

The site of OC’s first punk store is now long gone, cannibalized by commercial redevelopment. But McGahey can still picture everything the way it was as he drives into the parking lot of a remodeled Costa Mesa shopping center on a recent Saturday afternoon. He kills the ignition of his gray Nissan sedan and steps out onto the former location of London Exchange.

He’s wearing black Converse, gray shorts and a classic Ramone’s T-shirt; his Presley-esque pomp is greased and combed into a pristine wave of silver atop his now-burly, 6-foot-3 frame.

JO

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FROM LEFT: VALENCIA, MCGAHEY AND MORELY

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efore he dreamed of opening a real store, McGahey was living the punk-rock lifestyle he could later sell you. Since he wasn’t old enough to get in, he would hang outside the Cuckoo’s Nest (later renamed the Concert Factory), hawking merch for his brother’s band. He entered the scene in 1980 in an arm cast after he fractured it during an ill-fated baseball throw. After that healed, a car crash forced him into a leg cast. “I couldn’t get a job,” Craig says. “I basically gathered disability checks and bought buttons and T-shirts and started doing a little thing off to the side.”

When he wasn’t selling at shows, the Los Amigos High School student recruited some local middle-school minions to collect product orders on their home campuses with Xeroxed copies of a handmade catalog. McGahey’s parents graciously let him use the living room table as his office-cum-warehouse; he promptly covered it with punk para-

phernalia. Weekends were spent buying wholesale stock from Melrose stores such as Let It Rock, Poseur, NaNa or Zed Records in Long Beach with money from the disability checks. Word spread throughout OC that McGahey ran his own punk store, even though he didn’t yet officially have one.

“We were still both living with my mom and dad, and I’d be wasted, and someone would be knocking on the door at 9 a.m. on a Saturday,” Denny says. “I’d open the door, and it’d be two fuckin’ punkers I’d never seen before, looking for Craig to buy some creepers.”

The first guy to help McGahey turn his side business into an actual brickand-mortar was his friend, Eric Morely.

In addition to driving McGahey around on shopping trips, Morely found the first store location: a shabby, 500-square-foot spot on Newport Boulevard in Costa Mesa that was said to have housed OC’s first barber shop. For $200 per month, the shop sat next to the space of an eccentric Iggy Pop look-alike named Flash who liked to paint cars for a living, enjoyed burning things and occasionally fired his guns in the back alley.

The name London Exchange seemed a natural fit for the store, since McGahey and Morely bought clothing from outlets in London via mail order. Fortunately, U.K. punk was deader by the early 1980s than Sid Vicious, so British stores were happy to unload their backstock—and OC punkers were happy to buy it up. The bulk of their shoe stock—more than 170 styles, ranging from two-tones to highlaced boots to sneakers, steel-toes and

PILLOW COURTESY OF CRAIG MCGAHEY, PHOTOGRAPHED BY JOHN GILHOOLEY

more—came from reputable LA shoe store NaNa, the earliest supporters of McGahey and London Exchange. “Everyone supported each other, and I thought, as two young kids down there, what they were doing was great,” says NaNa coowner Nancy Kaufman. “It was a great way for us to get our stuff down to OC and see what people liked.”

London Exchange announced its opening by spray-painting the store’s name on the side of the building, something Costa Mesa officials didn’t take kindly to. “They said I had to get a permit for that. And I’m like, ‘Permit? Why do I need a permit to write my own name?’”

Soon after, London Exchange was forced to make a traditional sign.

Amid the maze of clothing racks and shoe piles inside, a beat-up TV looped video cassettes of classics such as The Great Rock ’N’ Roll Swindle. The store attracted the founding fathers of OC punk, including Social Distortion’s Mike Ness, who was practically part of the furniture since he was there so often. One year around Christmas, Ness came into the store with his mom, who wanted to buy

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her son, who plopped on the store’s couch in a stupor, a pair of Doc Martens. Mama Ness soon realized she couldn’t afford them, but McGahey gave her the shoes for free, telling her, “That kid’s gonna be a rock star someday.” Even when she tried to pay the store back, McGahey refused her money.

McGahey was good at recognizing talent, as so much of it passed through the store. Every week, London Exchange hosted in-store appearances from punk legends such as Henry Rollins, GBH, Exploited and Dead Kennedys, courtesy of concert promoters Goldenvoice. Founded in Huntington Beach, the company used London Exchange not only as a place to sell concert tickets for shows all over VALENCIA: THE PUNK SoCal prior to the creation of TicketmasBEHIND THE COUNTER ter, but also as a spot to feature its bands.

A Goldenvoice-sponsored group would fly in for a tour date, and McGahey, Morely building housing London Exchange as or one of their employees would pick part of the completion of the 55 freeway. them up at the airport and drive them While Morely left to pursue college in San straight to the store.

Diego, McGahey decided to find the store “Even if the shows weren’t in Orange a new home.

County, we needed Orange County,” y 1984, McGahey moved Lonsays Goldenvoice founder Gary Tovar. don Exchange into another “We needed them to drive; we needed Costa Mesa shopping center, them to get in their car and drive 30 on Harbor and 19th Street, miles. We would not have made it withwhich still stands. Driving up to the aging out Orange County.” storefront (it’s now a bike shop) for the Tim Valencia saw the expansion of first time in years, McGahey says it’s still the first store, as it transformed from a in pretty much the same condition as the 500-square-foot box to a mini-compound day he moved in. that took over several He spots the units in the shopping retractable security complex, including a gate that was installed back area that MIA back in the day. It was used as a rehearsal the only thing standspace. “As a little ing between his store grommet at age 16 to and total destruction 17, the whole experione spring night in ence of being there 1986 when a drunk was epic,” Valencia driver came crashing recalls. “We got to through the window. party, get high with all McGahey was in Lonmy favorite rock stars. don, purchasing more And my favorite rock stock, when he got stars weren’t AC/DC the call from his dad or Led Zeppelin; my about the accident. rock stars were MIA At the time, the and GBH and stuff like store had just barely that. And I got to meet survived being everybody. . . . You crushed by financial never knew who was debt thanks to poor gonna walk through VALENCIA financial management the front door.”

FLYER COURTESY OF TIM by a former business The clerks at Lonpartner McGahey hired after Morely left don Exchange—Chris Mann, Lee Stewart, for college. After parting ways, McGahey Renee Salvati and Dave Caldwell, among dug his way out of debt; the business trip others—became noted sons and daughters was supposed to be a chance to re-evaluate in Southern California’s punk-rock ecowhere he was going with the store he’d system. “If you’re from Orange County, almost lost. you knew me and I knew you ’cuz I sold Even through the ups and downs, most you your stuff,” McGahey says. “And it was of his crew remained loyal. Scott Parker, tight. We were all friends; we all got along. one of the youngest clerks at London We were in the pit together, jumping offExchange, remembers some of its greatstage together. It was a punk-star lifestyle.” est hits, including a Motörhead in-store Those glory days ended fast, though. appearance, crowded parking-lot sales In 1983, the city made plans to raze the JOHN GILHOOLEY

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in the parking lot, begins rehashing the day five assailants robbed him at gunpoint.

The opportunity to lease the building came from a friend whose dad owned the front unit of the complex. The plan was to rent his unit for cheap with the hope of expanding to include the front location.

McGahey commissioned a friend, Sean Peterson, to paint murals on the walls featuring the Grim Reaper and flames to help recapture the feel of the original store.

But business wasn’t what it used to be.

In addition to the aforementioned stores, corporate spots such as Hot Topic were appearing everywhere. Doc Martens were being sold at Journeys and Price Club, and the punk scene had quieted down considerably as Orange County tastes started turning to ska. By the end of his second year there, McGahey was ready to close, liquidate and maybe create an entirely new business plan.

MORELY, CO-FOUNDER OF A few days before Christmas in 1991, LONDON EXCHANGE the doorbell chimed right as he was about to close up for the night. It was a and the time Nick Cash of 999 played a set guy asking to buy a pair of shoes. London of fiery punk songs while standing on the Exchange wasn’t actually open at the hood of a car outside the store. “For me, time, but McGahey was waiting for two of personally, it changed my fucking life,” his friends to come around so they could Parker says. ”I was never in a fraternity go shopping for the holiday together. when I went to college, but the London As McGahey turned his back to the door Exchange people, those are my frat brothto help the customer, he heard the doorbell ers—those are the guys I still talk to. That chime again. Two more guys came in, and place was a huge part of my life. . . . I one asked if the store was still open. Right found my people.” as McGahey turned to face the customer, After repairing the damage from the car another guy pistol-whipped him. Soon, the crash, McGahey remained at the second guy was waving the gun in his face, yelllocation for another two years—until the ing at McGahey to get on the ground. The landlord drastirobbers ductcally raised the taped his arms, rent. By then, legs and face. he’d also become Then he heard a a club promoter fourth man sayat various spots ing, “Calm down such as Sargenti’s everybody!” (later known as The man knelt the Rat Trap, down next to the then Detroit Bar wounded and and now the restrained shop Wayfarer) and owner. “Calm the Tiki Bar (fordown. We’re merly Newport gonna get our Roadhouse), job done, and throwing shows then we’ll be for future legends outta here,” he including Tool, told McGahey.

Queens of the A wave of Stone Age and relief quickly Turbonegro. But melted away as FLYER COURTESY OF CRAIG MCGAHEY, more and more another of the PHOTOGRAPHED BY JOHN GILHOOLEY profitable punk robbers decided stores such as to press his shotElectric Chair in Huntington Beach, Cash gun to the back of McGahey’s head. “How, for Chaos in Laguna Beach, Erazzmatazz motherfucker, how’s it feel to be dead in Orange, and London Calling popped tonight?” he shouted. up with wealthy investors backing them, Another guy came over and put a knife something McGahey never had. to McGahey’s throat, pressing the cold The third incarnation of London steel against his skin, promising to cut him Exchange opened in 1990, also in Costa from ear to ear if he made a sound.

Mesa, in a quiet, pea-green business comFor several minutes, the robbers filled plex tucked away on Placentia Avenue. up bedsheets with merchandise, tying When McGahey pulls into the parking lot them up and throwing them in a van. of this location, it feels as if he’s visiting a McGahey estimates they stole a few thoucemetery. As the sky grows darker, a winsand dollars in cash and apparel. » CONTINUED ON PAGE 14 ter chill settles in and McGahey, standing

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BACK IN THE DAY (FROM LEFT): PARKER, SALVATI, MCGAHEY, VALENCIA AND CALDWELL

PICTURE COURTESY OF CRAIG MCGAHEY, PHOTOGRAPHED BY JOHN GILHOOLEY

moter for Club Mesa (now the Wayfarer).

Since 2000, he has also worked as a trafficcontrol officer at the Disneyland Resort.

“Maybe I gave more trust than I should’ve to some people. But it’s all good. Growing up as a kid, did I think I was gonna go to

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New York and England or meet the Sex Pistols, meet the Clash, hang out with them? No. Never in my life is what I’d say.”

Working at London Exchange, Parker says, “helped me realize that I don’t have to sit in an office and [sit] still to make a living and have a family—there’s a way to figure this out.” He is now the manager of the Foo Fighters’ Studio 606 in Northridge. “There’s 100 ways to skin a cat.

Above and beyond the punk-rock stuff, there’s so many ways to live and so many ways to make a living doing your thing.”

After attending business school, Morely started the marketing company Blue C, which helps brands find their own voice through video and multimedia ad campaigns. Most of his connections for jobs are made through clients who have a shared love of punk rock—some of whom even visited London Exchange at some point.

Though the store didn’t go out the way McGahey had hoped, its legacy continues.

People recognize McGahey in public or post old photos or anecdotes on social media. It’s those moments that make up for any of the crap he endured to keep London Exchange open.

“I think we inspired some people,” McGahey says. “It was a great ride. There are a lot of things I would’ve done to make it better, business-wise. People ask me would I open the store again, and I say, ‘Hey, I got the signs.’ So if you wanna do it, I got all the original signs.”

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radually, McGahey lost interest in reopening London Exchange. He took a 9-to-5 job at a local weatherproofing company and later became the in-house pro-

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Few cast members suspect he’s one of the founding fathers of OC’s punk scene, and he’s happier that way some days.

Other times, McGahey imagines what might’ve been had the store reopened.

“I wish when I looked after other bands by getting paid, I wish I would’ve looked after myself and my store better,” he says.

friend, like, ‘Nah, I don’t think I’m gonna reopen today.’ You just feel violated.”

OR

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A friend of McGahey’s drove into the parking lot after randomly passing by and seeing his car parked outside the building.

As she pulled in, one of the robbers tried to convince her the store was closed for construction, then scared her off by hitting her car with the butt of his gun when she failed to leave. The men soon left McGahey alone.

McGahey’s friend called the cops and gave them the getaway van’s license plate information. The tip led the police to the Santa Ana house of the parents of one of the criminals, and all the men were quickly arrested. They were sentenced to an average of six to 12 months for armed robbery, according to McGahey, who adds that one of the assailants wasn’t even 18 years old. “I was told by an officer that if they would’ve shot me, they coulda gave them more time,” he recalls. “I was like, ‘Really sorry to disappoint you.’”

Though he recovered most of the stolen merchandise, McGahey never got back the money. Both Costa Mesa and Santa Ana police departments claimed they didn’t have it.

“A friend of mine drove with me to the police station to pick up all my merchandise, and I . . . when I got in the store again, it felt colder than ever,” McGahey says.

“I just didn’t want to be there. I told my

Photos: Amy Guip

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Anarchy In the OC » FROM PAGE 13

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fri/12/23

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[CONCERT]

SEASON’S CRETINS

The Vandals Christmas Formal

Seeing the Vandals perform in Orange County is almost like a rite of passage. And this annual Christmas show has become not only a nice local tradition, but also a must-attend event.

As the name suggests, fans must arrive in formalwear so they can rock to the tunes of these hardcore vets. For some bands, a Christmas formal may seem outrageous, but this is the band that released an album called Oi to the World.

Whether or not it’s your first or 40th time seeing them perform, the Vandals doing their thing will fill you with more than the usual holiday cheer.

The Vandals Christmas Formal at the Grove of Anaheim, 2200 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, (714) 712-2700; www.citynationalgroveofanaheim. com. 8 p.m. $20. —DANIEL KOHN

calendar * fri/12/23

sat/12/24

[NIGHTLIFE]

[NIGHTLIFE]

[PERFORMING ARTS]

The Funk Noel

Christmas Rapping

Ice, Ice, Baby

While you wonder what Santa has in his bag this year, check out what the Funk Freaks have up their (record) sleeves. They’re back in action at their usual haunt, Original Mike’s, spinning on the 1’s and 2’s to heat up your cold winter night. But tonight’s not just any regular night: The crew welcome special guest DJ Robert James Almost, as well as James Otis White Jr., who’ll perform some well-known hits from his time with the Armed Gang. This cool Yule celebration won’t be a silent night, but you’ll be feeling the funk long after the sleigh ride home.

The Funk Freaks with Robert James Almost and James Otis White Jr. at Original Mike’s, 100 S. Main St., Santa Ana, (714) 550-7764; www.originalmikes.com.

8 p.m. $10. 21+. —AIMEE MURILLO

Nothing says peace on Earth and goodwill toward men quite like twerking it out with your best buds on the dance floor. Show Santa just how good you can be by shaking the stanky leg with cocktails in hand.

C-walk your way over to Alex’s Bar this Christmas Eve, and enjoy some egg nog and booty shaking. Oh, come, all ye faithful, and convince the fat man that the coal industry really should be shut down—at least as far as your stocking is concerned. Don’t forget to wear your big chain and tie some mistletoe to that shit because it’s about to get lit brighter than a Christmas tree at the Griswolds’.

“Get Low—A Hip-Hop Christmas” at Alex’s Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; www. alexsbar.com. 9 p.m. Free. 21+. —AMANDA PARSONS

While Pixar and Disney continue popping out film after film, some of us are nostalgic for the classics. While we’re not pining for any sequels (Toy Story 4 still happening?), we’d jump at the chance to watch our favorite characters buddy up and pirouette on the ice for the annual Disney On Ice show. This year’s Worlds of Enchantment features characters from those beloved films skating alongside the friendly faces from Cars and Enchanted, plus a Mickey Mouse preshow. Bring the wee ones down for this frozen spectacular until the end of the month, when the ice begins to melt.

Disney On Ice: Worlds of Enchantment at the Honda Center, 2695 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, (800) 745-3000; www.hondacenter.com. 11 a.m., 1, 3 & 5 p.m.; also Sun. $25-$100. —AIMEE MURILLO

Funk Freaks

‘Get Low—A Hip-Hop Christmas’

JOHN GILHOOLEY

Disney On Ice

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sun/12/25 [COMEDY]

Call Him Fluffy Gabriel Iglesias

This Christmas, unwrap yourself a gift that’s both hot and fluffy; Gabriel Iglesias’ riotous humor comes to Irvine Improv for one night only. Expect the portly star of the Fuse TV show Fluffy Breaks Even to unleash a litany of jokes surrounding his Mexican-American culture, show business, weight issues and whatever else

comes to the mind of this comedian/actor.

You can try to resist his uproarious storytelling style—complete with wacky voice characterizations and mannerisms—but we know that’s not gonna last for long.

Gabriel Iglesias at Irvine Improv, 527 Spectrum Center Dr., Irvine, (949) 8545455; irvine.improv.com. 7 p.m. $65. 18+.

—AIMEE MURILLO

amore » online OCWEEKLY.COM

[DRAG]

Jingle Belles

FACADE Drag Show As the wise RuPaul Charles once said, “You’re born naked, and the rest is drag.”

Truly, everything we wear is simply a façade, and perhaps no one knows this better than drag queens. Hosted by Psycadella, this pageant of lovely snowflakes will put the ho-ho-ho in tonight’s holidaythemed drag show. In addition to the win-

some talent and charisma competing in the weekly contest FACADE, you’ll find the “Oldest Living Showgirl on Earth” and DJ Smuckers up to their usual shenanigans, audience games, and participation opportunities galore.

FACADE Drag Show at Hamburger Mary’s, 330 Pine Ave., Long Beach, (562) 436-7900; www.hamburgermarys. com. 8 p.m. Free. 18+. —AIMEE MURILLO

mon/12/26 [FILM]

Living Pictures Araya

Screening as part of Hibbleton Gallery’s introduction to South American cinema, the 1959 Venezuelan classic Araya is less a documentary than an experiment in artful image-making. Director Margot Benacerraf set out to make a tone poem—a film in which cinematography, language, music and sound work together to capture a time and place—and created a majestic piece of cinema rarely seen since. Araya depicts the lives of three families toiling in the salt and crystal mines of the titular arid peninsula.

Immerse youself in Benacerraf’s filmmaking at this one-time showing.

Araya at Hibbleton Gallery, 223 W. Santa Fe Ave., Fullerton; hibbleton.com. 8 p.m.

Free. —AIMEE MURILLO

tue/12/27

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[CONCERT]

Year-end rager

The Melvins, OFF! and redd Kross Back in 2012, Spaceland and Blundertown put together the year-ender of all year-enders: the legendary Melvins and Redd Kross, obliterating downtown LA’s Alexandria Hotel on NewYear’s Eve. Now the tradition of letting the past year die screaming while those bands play lives on with this show in OC. Bassist Steven McDonald takes on triple duty with Redd Kross, OFF! and the Melvins, with whom he’s been performing since last year.

Redd Kross will perform their cover-filled 1984 album, Teen Babes From Monsanto, which is six superb pieces of rock & roll.

The Melvins, OFF! and Redd Kross at the Observatory, 3053 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; www.observatoryoc. com. 8 p.m. $25. —CHRIS ZIEGLER

thu/12/29

[ART]

Glam Appeal ‘Erté: Celebrate the Season’

“Everything is based on fantasy,” bragged the self-named Erté about his influential, enduring and reliably over-the-top contributions to illustration, design, costume, fashion, movie sets and myriad objets d’art in a long, glorious career. Born Romain de Tirtoff in 1892, his elegant Art Deco work was ubiquitous as covers for Harper’s Bazaar, revived in the 1960s, and now celebrated at the Martin Lawrence Galleries in South Coast Plaza. Arts Décoratifs is possibly the most recognizable style, with its idealization of long-limbed Parisians posing dishabille as Greek figures or Egyptian god-people, only skinnier. Erté was the Chrysler Building of designers, his signature look an unshy celebration of glamour, sex and luxury—as well as a devil-may-care denial of political reality.

“Erté: Celebrate the Season” at Martin Lawrence Galleries, 3333 Bear St., Costa Mesa, (949) 759-0134; martinlawrence. com. 10 a.m. Through Dec. 31. Free.

—ANDREW TONKOVICH

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[CONCERT]

Go Ask Alice Alice Bag

Legendary East LA punk-rock feminist Alice Bag is on tour with her debut solo LP, released last June. As front woman of the Bags in the 1970s, Bag epitomized the hardcore punk-rock scene and pioneered an aggressive sound and style that directly influenced the movement.

Appearing in a multitude of bands over the years, including Castration Squad and Cholita (the female Menudo) with collaborator Vaginal Davis, Bag has continuously performed since 1977—and her pointed musical activism doesn’t appear to be letting up any time soon: “He’s So Sorry,” a dreamy 1950s bubblegum-pop ode to domestic violence, and “Programmed,” a riotous, pro-critical thinking slam on education, are new cuts that prove Bag is as relevant as ever. Go get your resistance on.

Alice Bag, Bombón, Rats In the Louvre and DJ Polyester at Alex’s Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; www.alexsbar.com. 8 p.m. $8-$10. 21+.

—SR DAVIES

enchAntinG!

Sleeping Beauty and Her Winter Knight

Too Much Talent ‘Abundant, Bountiful & Beautiful’

A glance at Long Beach Museum of Art’s roster for “Abundant, Bountiful & Beautiful” is a short but sweet cluster of creative individuals working in a variety of mediums. Matt Wedel’s porcelain and clay sculptures show his affinity for bulbous, colorful life forms. Christine Nguyen’s cyanotype prints illustrate the mysterious and wondrous beauty of the cosmos. Tom Knechtel’s oil-on-linen paintings look like collages from afar, but cull together a range of figures and shapes to co-exist in the same space. Ellsworth Kelly, perhaps the most recognizable name listed, creates blunt, hard-edge geometric and minimalist shapes in both painting and sculpture.

Head over to view this amazing exhibit.

“Abundant, Bountiful & Beautiful” at Long Beach Museum of Art, 2300 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach, (562) 439-2119; lbma. org. 11 a.m. Through March 19, 2017. $6-$7; every Fri., free. —AIMEE MURILLO

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Other than a few modern updates and contemporary pop references, Sleeping Beauty and Her Winter Knight remains the sweet, classic fairy tale you remember from your youth. Laguna Playhouse presents an interactive, topical retelling of this familiar yarn that allows for audience participation and bonding with characters. Despite protection from Silly Billy and NannyTickle, Princess Aurora succumbs to the evil curse set upon her by the evil Carabosse: that she is to prick her finger on a spinning wheel on her 18th birthday and fall asleep for 100 years. It’s up to “‘true love’s kiss” to break the spell.

Bring the family along to participate in this bewitching adventure.

Sleeping Beauty and Her Winter Knight at Laguna Playhouse, 606 Laguna Canyon Rd., Laguna Beach, (949) 497-2787; www. lagunaplayhouse.com. 7:30 p.m.Through Dec. 30. $30-$70. —AIMEE MURILLO

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2017

New Year's Eve Dance & SUPER Social

New Years Eve LISTINGS

Anaheim Bring in the New Year with hundreds & meet new friends during fun ice breaker games!

Enjoy the glamour in Hotel Fullerton’s ballroom & dance to a variety of music from DJ Sweat & live band featuring Yvette Cooke (former singer in Rose Royce “Car Wash”)

$39 - $75 714-622-4977 | FREE parking www.SpectacularEventZ.com

join us

christmas day!

NEW YEAR’S EVE Guide

DRINK SPECIALS & CHRISTMAS DINNER!

all NEW

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$2.50 DOMESTIC PINTS $3 DOMESTIC BOTTLES $3 SHOTS

THE FIFTH OC 714.772.0899

1650 S. Harbor Blvd., Anaheim Thefifthoc.com New Year’s Eve celebration! Cocktail attire required. $50 – Includes Plated 4-Course Dinner & Champagne Toast $25 – Party Entry at 9pm & Champagne Toast *Price includes party favors and onsite or offsite parking

Brea

BRUNO’S ITALIAN KITCHEN 714.257.1000

210 W. Birch St., Brea Brunositaliankitchen.com Enjoy a special 3-course meal, midnight countdown and party favors at the popular downtown Brea restaurant.

CHA CHA’S LATIN KITCHEN 714.255.1040

110 W. Birch St. #7, Brea Chachaslatinkitchen.com Special 3-course meal, live music, dancing, midnight countdown with a complimentary toast and party favors!

Costa Mesa

LA CAVE NEW YEAR’S EVE DANCE PARTY 714.826.0570 |4360 | Lincoln Ave. Cypress

9 Big Screens • 8 Beers on Draft!

949.646.7944

1695 Irvine Ave., Costa Mesa Lacaverestaurant.com DJ Sea Moan & DJ Abel & Dancing – Complimentary Champagne Toast at Midnight!

10pm - Saturday, December 31st

TET FESTIVAL PRESENTED BY UVSA OC Fair & Event Center

Tetfestival.org January 27th, 2017 - January 29th, 2017 Food, live entertainment, contests, games, rides, arts & crafts and other family activities!

Fullerton

FIRST NIGHT FULLERTON XTREME 25TH ANNIVERSARY 714.738.6545 Downtown Fullerton Cityoffullerton.com Free admission. Live bands, kids’ activites, zip lining, food and fireworks!

GIANT NEW YEAR’S EVE DANCE & SUPER SOCIAL

WWW.OCWEEKLY.COM

714.622.4977

SpectacularEventZ.com Bring in the New Year with hundreds (ages 21 - 91) during fun ice breaker games.

Enjoy the glamour in Hotel Fullerton’s ballroom with chandeliers & dancing DJ Sweat & live band featuring Yvette Cooke (former singer in Rose Royce “Car Wash”) $39 - $75, FREE parking.

THE PUBLIC HOUSE BY EVAN’S BREWING CO. 714.870.0039

138 W Commonwealth Ave., Fullerton evansbrewco.com/pub Live music all night long, prix-fixe menus during both seatings and special champagne & beer flights. For $39 per guest, the 7:00 pm seating includes a 3-course prix-fix menu to be enjoyed with country-rock group, Just Dave Band. The 9:30 pm seating offers a 5-course prix-fix menu and a performance by, The Straytones, for $59 per person.

Reservations are required and can be made by calling (714) 870-0039.

YOU’VE BEEN NAUGHTY, BUT WE LIKE IT

NEW YEAR’S EVE Guide

FULLERTON: 215 N. Harbor Blvd.

• 714-870-6855 COSTA MESA (The LAB): 2930 Bristol St. • 714-825-0619 LONG BEACH: 4608 E. 2nd St. • 562-433-1991 BUFFALOEXCHANGE.COM •

$5 OFF

EVERY $20 SPENT Offer expires 1/ 7/17 May not be combined with any other discount or promotion.

One coupon per customer.

ADULT EMPORIUM

Open 24/7 | 213 N. Harbor Blvd. Santa Ana, CA 92703 | 714-554-4495 www.spankysonline.com

WWW.OCWEEKLY.COM

ADULT TOYS, LINGERIE, NEW RELEASE DVDS, SUPPLEMENTS, SMOKING PRODUCTS

Huntington Beach

949.376.9718

1287 S. Coast Hwy., Laguna Beach Kyabistro.com Tray-passed appetizers and desserts from 10:00 pm to midnight. A complimentary champagne toast will be provided to ring in the new year at midnight.

B&B’S MUSICAL THRILLS AT DON THE BEACHCOMBER 562.592.1321

16278 Pacific Coast Hwy., Huntington Beach bit.ly/ROCKIN-HULA-PARTY Ring in the New Year with James Intveld, Big Sandy & His Fly-Rite Boys, Rosie Flores Trio, Ramblin’ James & The Billyboppers - plus The Hula Girls! It’s our Rockin’ HULA Party!

Hawaiian buffet, champagne toast and more! Reservations visit our website or text 714.809.6146.

THE RANCH AT LAGUNA BEACH

GET AIR

Long Beach

714.916.5815

5142 Argosy Ave., Huntington Beach Getairsurfcity.com Get Out! Get Active! We do parties!

562.437.3734

714.536.7887

209 Main St., Huntington Beach A Surfer’s New Year’s Eve Party. $50 Open Bar from 9pm10pm (Restrictions Apply) Dj’s and Dancing All Night! For Reservations, email: klbooks@sharkeez.net

WAYS & MEANS OYSTER HOUSE MASQUERADE BASH

NEW YEAR’S EVE Guide

21022 Pacific Coast Hwy., Huntington Beach Wmoysters.com Complimentary champagne toast at midnight, food specials & prizes for the best masquerade mask. Reservations for this NYE celebration are highly recommended and require a credit card.

Laguna Beach K’YA BISTRO

S, 31106 Coast Hwy, Laguna Beach Theranchlb.com New Year’s Eve party with dinner, dancing and live entertainment from Ronnie Hudson & The Bad Azz Band Traditional Pierre Jouet Champagne Toast at midnight!

SHENANIGANS

KILLARNEY’S NYE 2017 AT THE BEACH

714.960.4300

NYE Dinner Event Reservation: 949.715.1376

949.675.1212

at the bar.

3431 Via Oporto, Newport Beach Gondolas.com / Gondola.com Be sure to visit us in 2017 to make keeping your resolutions easy!

QUEEN MARY 877.342.0738 1126 Queens Hwy., Long Beach

queenmary.com Ring in the New Year with a night of unforgettable celebrations & entertainment inspired by Hollywood’s most famous films abroad the majestic Queen Mary. For more information, pricing, hotel packages and more, visit http:// queenmary.com or call 877-342- 0742.

ROXANNE’S COCKTAIL LOUNGE & LATIN GRILL 562.426.4777

1115 E Wardlow Rd., Long Beach Roxanneslounge.com Free entry and complimentary champagne. An evening of great food, drinks and live entertainment with music by Josh Nickelz

423 Shoreline Village Dr., Long Beach Shenaniganslb.com New Year’s Eve party featuring That Cover Band performing live at 8pm. Enjoy the Queen Mary firework show from our patio!

Los Angeles

SAINT AND SECOND

Found.ee/ProhibitionNYETix Dance the last year away at the Historic Union Station in DTLA at Prohibition NYE’s fifth annual Roaring Twenties Celebration! Enjoy an evening of premium open bar, live performances and music, burlesque dancers and more!

Doors Open at 9pm (21+). Formal Attire Required.

562.433.4828

4828 E. 2nd St., Long Beach Saintandsecond.com Ring in the New Year in style! 4-Course dinner menu for $70 per person.

Wine pairing for an additional $30 per person. Dinner reservations are available between 5pm and 11pm and includes champagne toast. Special appetizer menu available at the bar.

THE FEDERAL BAR 562.435.2000

102 Pine Ave., Long Beach Thefederalbar.com $70 Per Person - 3 Course Prix Fixe Menu includes choice of one select alcoholic beverage and champagne toast at midnight! Reservations recommended, walk-ins welcomed

4647 MacArthur Blvd., Newport Beach

Ocblockpartynye.com 3 Venues = 1 Massive Party. 4 Rooms of Music, 14 DJ’s, Party Favors, Midnight Champagne Toast, Live Countdown. Table Packages or Cash Bar Option Available.

Orange

ORANGE HILL RESTAURANT 714.997.2910

6410 E. Chapman Ave., Orange Theorangehillrestaurant.com 4-Course Menu for $95 per person. Optional wine pairing for $40 per person.

Stunning views and DJ at the O Bar to ring in the New Year!

PROHIBITION NYE AT UNION STATION 800 N. Alameda St., Los Angeles

TANDOOR CUISINE OF INDIA 2017 NEW YEAR 714.538.2234

1132 E. Katella Ave., Orange Tandooroc.com Balbir Singh presents 2017 New Year! Doors Open at 8:00pm.

Midnight champagne toast, three course meal, two drinks included - only $49.99!

THE HOLLYWOOD NYE 2017 thehollywoodnye2017.com

Ring in 2017 with a BANG this New Year’s Eve at SoCal’s premiere nightclubs! Discounted tickets/tables on sale NOW for: 1OAK, Bootsy Bellows, LURE, Project LA, Argyle, TIME OC, Beso, Andaz Hotel SD and more! RSVP ASAP. For general inquiries, text/call: 310.493.4990.

Newport Beach

GONDOLA COMPANY OF NEWPORT

Santa Ana

CHAPTER ONE: THE MODERN LOCAL 714.352.2225

227 N. Broadway, Santa Ana Saturday Night Fever! $55 4-Course Dinner, $20 Bottles of Brut Champagne, $30 Bottles of Rose Champagne. Midnight toast, Confetti Cannon & DJ Twyst Spinning Hits All Night!

WE HAVE FACILITIES FOR BIRTHDAY PARTIES, TEAM SPORT PARTIES, CORPORATE PARTIES, FAMILY REUNIONS AND MORE! 5142 ARGOSY AVE. HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA 92649 714-916-5815 | WWW.GETAIRSURFCITY.COM MONDAY–THURSDAY.... 2pm–9pm FRIDAY......................2pm–10pm SATURDAY.......................10am-10pm SUNDAY.......................10am–8pm

Open Christmas Day! $20

US99

Prime Rib

Special

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THE OC BLOCK PARTY: TEN + ENVY + BOSSCAT

Performing

Live at 4PM

NEW YEARS EVE

PARTY

That Cover Band Performing

Live at 8PM

_ Enjoy _

Queen Mary Firework Show from Our Patio!

423 Shoreline Village Drive, Long Beach • Shenaniganslb.com 562.437.3734

Downtown Long Beach Alliance presents

$40

Befor e

12/25

$50

12/26 -12/

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NO AGE

NEW YEAR’S EVE Guide

SUNDAY, JAN 29

uvsa presents

YEAR OF THE ROOSTER

tetfestival.org

food • live entertainment • contests • games rides • arts & crafts • family activities

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jan 27-29 oc fair & event center

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Central Viet Vacay HUE THUONG 9752 Chapman Ave., Garden Grove, (714) 534-3040.

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Under Water

BRIAN FEINZIMER

Dinner at the new Water Grill at South Coast Plaza is going to cost you—but is it worth it?

I

instructed to clean the tables of crumbs between courses. And upon seating, ours offered us a choice of flat or sparkling water, both of which he had ready in his hands from two sweaty glass jugs.

“Does the sparkling cost extra?” I asked, already wary of any unnecessary non-seafood-related expenses.

“Oh! No! It’s free!” he said, smiling.

As I ate a crusty piece of an asiagoimbued bread roll with butter, I ordered the rest of our meal. We opted for the smallest iced-shellfish platter (called “The Grand”) for $45, the Chilean sea bass for $43, and the excellent bitter greens Caesar with whole anchovies for $10. If you’re doing the math in your head, as I did that night, I was already $100 into it.

“Is that enough for the two of us?” I said to the waiter.

“Oh, yes, that’s plenty,” he responded.

“You’ve got the platter, which is a big plate of food!”

He was right. Along with half a lobster claw and tail, there were six mussels, five fat cocktail-style shrimp, some peel-andeats, two scallops bathed in citrus pesto, a pair of raw littlenecks, four oysters, and a handful of tiny whelks that came with plastic toothpicks to coax their tiny curlicue meat from their shells.

Despite one bad clam that couldn’t be swallowed and lobster meat that I already knew was going to be rubbery, it wasn’t an outrageous price tag for the amount of shellfish decadence we received. A similar platter at King’s Fish House, I researched later, retailed for $10 cheaper, but that’s only because it subbed the lobster for crab.

That seared seabass we ate, though, can

only be had at Water Grill; King’s doesn’t offer it. Apart from being one of the costliest entrées here, the fish was seared perfectly to a crisp outer crust and still wiggled like just-set Jell-O everywhere else.

And it came with a creamy cauliflower purée and was bathed in lots of brown butter with hazelnuts thrown in for crunch.

The dish was the highlight of our evening.

But what I learned after a second visit is that, along with being very expensive, Water Grill can be very inconsistent. The fritto misto—fruits of the Fryolator with zucchini, shrimp, calamari and fish—was crisp, hot and very reasonable at $16. But the baked whole sea bream, priced at $29 per pound, had the flavor and personality of a wet rag. There was a chewy but passable grilled octopus with tomato paste and feta, but a side dish of braised kale tasted as if it took a dunk in dishwater.

That second night, our waiter, who never offered the sparkling water like our first server did, tried to upsell us on the Dover sole for $45 per pound—a price that almost guarantees him a higher tip. And maybe I should’ve taken him up on it. With that sea bream at 1.6 pounds, I was already paying more than that; and I did, after all, come in wearing not my usual Old Navy hoodie, but my newest and most expensive Banana Republic cashmere sweater. I should’ve ordered more appropriately.

WATER GRILL 3300 Bristol St., Costa Mesa, (949) 208-7060; www.watergrill.com. Open Mon.-Thurs., 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Fri., 11 a.m.-midnight; Sat., 10 a.m.-midnight; Sun., 10 a.m.-11 p.m.

Dinner for two, $70-$150. Full bar.

GARELLANO@OCWEEKLY.COM

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was prepared to spend a lot of money at the new Water Grill. This was, after all, the crown jewel of Sam and Jeff King’s seafood-restaurant fiefdom, which includes about a dozen King’s Fish Houses and the affordable Fish Camp in Sunset Beach (which, by the way, I love).

Water Grill, however, is the upmarket label of the brand, the Banana Republic to King’s Fish House’s the Gap and Fish Camp’s Old Navy. So I expected it to be expensive.

But then there’s conventional wisdom about any seafood restaurant near South Coast Plaza: It’s never cheap, especially when the $6 valet parking is compulsory.

This exact spot used to be Scott’s, which cornered the market on pricey seafood in the area for 26 years before it shuttered in January. The building was demolished, and Water Grill carved out a space that looks as vast as the ocean itself. The place isn’t so much a single dining room as it is a series of connected ecosystems, each with its own climate, flora and fauna.

If you count the multiple private rooms, the outdoor patio with the retractable roof, and the main dining area that features a copper-topped full bar and an oyster-shucking island made of concrete, Water Grill has the capacity to host 700 souls. This doesn’t include the army of hostesses, servers, busboys, oyster shuckers, bartenders and uniformed cooking staff who toil inside a sprawling glassencased kitchen. The restaurant is a small city. And to eat here on a Friday evening is to feel as if you’ve actually gone out for a night on the town, as though you’re in the swirling center of it all.

The waiters are the kinds who are

By EdWin GoEi

very winter, I go out to lunch with former interns who’ve gone on to bigger things, and few became bigger than Gray Beltran. He came to us as a UC Irvine literary journalism major during the summer of 2008 and immediately distinguished himself from others with a desire to learn, as well as the ability to do so quickly and smartly. He’s now at The New York Times as a multimedia/ graphics editor, living the good life in the Big Apple—but still, he misses Orange County. Mostly our food, of course.

“You just don’t get this back there,” Gray said between slurps of his ferocious bún bò Hue while we ate at Hue Thuong in Garden Grove’s part of Little Saigon. He had earlier asked if Hue Thuong sold pho; it did, I said, but that was like ordering a chicken pot pie in East Los Angeles— why? We were, after all, in a Central Vietnamese restaurant, with delights before us not usually seen in other OC Viet restaurants. Bún bò Hue is the star of the genre, an unapologetically funky morass of pork blood, tendon, liver, spice and tapioca noodles. “This will never become popular like pho,” I told Gray, “and it’s a shame; it’s better.” His man bun agreed.

More specialties: a solar system of bánh bèo, awesome rice cakes topped with fried scallions in the center, and all the bánh bèo placed around a bowl of fish sauce—crunchy, slurpy, tangy, great. I pigged out on a giant bowl of com hen: shredded taro, banana blossoms, a jungle of sharp Vietnamese herbs, white rice and a bunch of baby clams. Hue Thuong didn’t offer the customary clam broth that goes with the dish, but it didn’t matter; the meal’s marine essence radiated with each chopstick-ful in my mouth.

Gray and I talked journalism woes and elections, but we mostly talked food. He had spent a couple of days in Los Angeles and hit up all of its hipster hot spots; I told him to grab lunch at Taco Maria, breakfast at Break of Dawn, and then go to Mercado and Anepalco for cocktails, among other recommendations. But next time Gray comes, I’ll take him to a Northern Vietnamese restaurant—by then, he should have Dean Baquet’s position. . . .

m ont h x x–xx , 20 14

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food»reviews | listings

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We have a great selection of pre-made baskets and gift sets from the best wines, spirits & brews!

FLASHY!

RombaueR TRio $99.98 [200233]

Don’t forget the New Year’s Bubbly!

DENISE DE LA CRUZ

Potato-Fried Bueno

Tacos de papa at #TACOLIFE

C

osta Mesa native and #TACOLIFE owner Juan Gonzales brings his mother’s Jalisco-style cooking to Whittier via a lively and casual taco bar in the usually quiet and forgettable East Side.

Formerly Luna Estrella Mexican Cocina, #TACOLIFE manages to perfect the balance between modern cuisine and traditional Mexican recipes with its simple yet masterful tacos de papa.

An order includes cotija cheese sprinkled atop three fried mini corn tortilla shells stuffed with lettuce, pico de gallo, a creamy yet spicy yellow salsa, gooey melted

EatthisNow » denise de la cruz

mozzarella cheese and savory mashed potatoes. Other standouts include the Chorizo con Papa taco and the menu of Micheladas (which keeps things real with spicy sticks) in original, mango, piña (pineapple) and sandía (watermelon) flavors. #TACOLIFE is the spot to get shamelessly taco- and michelada-wasted. #respect.

OC’s FINEST PERUVIAN CUISINE

HAPPY HOUR

St. George Dry Rye Reposado Gin

3pm-6pm Daily

50% OFF THE DRINK

Available at Hi-Time Wine Cellars, 250 Ogle St., Costa Mesa, (949) 650-8463; www.hitimewine.net.

Select Appetizers

$5 YOU CALL IT! Well Cocktails & House Wine

Sun - Thurs: 11am-9pm | Fri-Sat: 11am-10pm | Reservations Recommended Newport Beach/Costa Mesa 260 Bristol Street. 714.444.4652 Lake Forest 23600 RockfIeld Blvd. 949.587.9008

inkagrill.com #inkagrilloc

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It’s a spicy meatball at 99 proof, but it’s wonderful: herbal, sharp, woodsy and sweet at the end. St. George Dry Rye Reposado Gin would make a killer Negroni, but the true mark of a great gin is how it goes neat, and it’s 100. Gentle readers, here’s your Christmas gift for the gin man (or gal, or gender-fluid) in your family. And Mr. Hi-Time: Keep ’em coming!

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o you forgot to buy Christmas presents in time for Amazon to deliver—PENDEJO! Thankfully, Mr. Hi-Time is ever-forgiving and forever welcomes you to his aisles of boozy delights. I was at the Costa Mesa cathedral to see his new releases recently, and Dry Rye Reposado Gin caught my attention because it dared to combine two of my favorite drinks into one bottle. It’s an offering of St. George Spirits, the pioneering California distillers, but still: rye turned into gin, then aged in wine barrels? HERESY! But Mr. Hi-Time has never guided me wrong, so I bought a bottle, opened it at Weekly World Headquarters and drank.

250 OGLE STREET - COSTA MESA, CA 949.650.8463 - HITIMEWINE.NET

#TACOLIFE 11125 S. First Ave., Whittier, (562) 902-1000.

DriNkofthEwEEk

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food» NOW, COME TO SANTA ANA

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner • 7 Days a week Kids Menu • Take-Out Available

ROAST GOOSE FOR THE HOLIDAYS! SERVED FRI, SAT & SUN IN DECEMBER

M–F 7am –9pm, Sat & Sun 8am –9pm

OPEN Christmas Eve & New Years Eve until 9pm

Open New Years Day 8am-2pm—CLOSED Christmas Day.

2525 East Ball Rd., Anaheim 714-520-9500 sandie@jagerhaus.net | Jagerhaus.net

Café Café Café

SARAH BENNETT

Tierra Mia is Long Beach’s best new coffee shop

T

he best new coffee shop to open in Long Beach in 2016 is not another minimalist house of third-wave espresso pulls.

Nor is it a place where light-roasted beans from Burundi and Ethiopia find their way into $5 bottles of cold brew. And contrary to most of the city’s more recent coffeeshop startups, taking sugar with your java here is not only allowed, but in many ways encouraged, as well.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with the laboratory-like intensity that so many roasters and shops abide by these days (I love you, Lord Windsor!), but Tierra Mia is a third-wave coffee brand of a different sort. Since opening in March, the independent roaster and locally owned chain has lovingly sourced beans from Latin America that are used in everything from Chemex pour-overs to syrupy-sweet horchata lattes.

Before Tierra Mia’s 11th location took over a former Taco Bell on Pacific Coast Highway near Poly High School, the closest thing to a cup of Joe to be found within this neighborhood was at the McDonald’s or the doughnut shop. (Nearly all of the city’s best coffee shops are below Fourth Street.) Now, residents of central Long Beach (a.k.a. the Eastside) have a premium coffeehouse of their own—a wifi-free zone for talking, visiting and drinking your way through a Latin-tinged drink menu that includes imported-Mexican-chocolate mochas, creamy cafecito cubano con leches, and the so-called Rice & Beans, a frappe that blends horchata with ground espresso beans.

No surprise that the line of people often stretches out the door of the dining room, and the pileup of cars bleeds out of the converted drive-thru and onto Pasadena Avenue. Inside, groups of Latino teenagers and entire families can be seen hud-

LongBeachLunch » sarah bennett

dling around tables, sipping on whippedcream-topped ice-blended drinks and sharing freshly baked (at the Tierra Mia in Lynwood) très leches muffins and piña queso danishes.

Ulysses Romero started the company in 2008 after graduating with an MBA from Stanford, and since his first coffeehouse in South Gate, he has built a quiet empire of coffee shops across southeast Los Angeles, mostly in LA’s heavily Latino communities such as Santa Fe Springs and Montebello. Some of the locations, such as the one in Long Beach, have taken over shuttered fast-food outlets, an even stronger signal of the shop’s role in changing neighborhoods (the Pico Rivera flagship and roastery turned its former KFC bucket into a spinning Tierra Mia cup). He envisioned Tierra Mia as an alternative to Starbucks, built for Latinos, such as him, who grew up on boldly roasted beans from underrepresented growing regions including Mexico, Costa Rica and Ecuador.

It’s this kind of innovation and ambition to serve LA’s Latinos through the gospel of coffee that has helped Romero secure such growth in the past few years.

Plans for more locations in the LBC may be in the works, and when they arrive, I’ll be there for a pour-over from the day’s selection of micro-farmed beans and grabbing a tropical-fruit pastry.

TIERRA MIA COFFEE 425 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach, (562) 912-4522; tierramiacoffee.com.

Laughing All the Way

Bad Santa 2 or Office Christmas Party?

BY MATT COKER

S

ACES!

BAD SANTA 2 F bombs: 154 (one of which is written on something) Gross-outs: 9 Sacrilegious moments: 3 Laugh-out-loud moments: 4 Ball sack images: 6 (5 of which are during the end credits) Bare asses: 1 (male) BROAD GREEN PICTURES

Zenotek holiday blowout. That presents something of a Catch-22 because Zenotek’s interim CEO—and Clay’s sister—Carol (Jennifer Aniston) has canceled the party and holiday bonuses and ordered massive layoffs as cost-cutting measures. The only way to stop those actions—and save the struggling branch from being shuttered—is to close a deal with Walter before Carol’s plane lands in Paris. (Or does it?)

Besides the locales, both movies share winter chills, a fascination with anal sex and hilarious comedic performances.

Ironically, Bad Santa 2’s Kelly and Office

Christmas Party’s frank-talking Uber driver Lonny (Fortune Feimster) could switch movies, as they look so much alike.

If you were to put a gun to my head (please don’t), I would have to say Bad Santa 2 has more one-liners, many of which are so witty you’ll swear Thornton, Bates and Cox improvised them. Johnny Rosenthal and Shauna Cross wrote the script, which is based on the characters of Bad Santa scripters Glenn Ficarra and John Requa.

Co-writers Justin Malen, Laura Solon and Dan Mazer’s plot in Office Christmas Party unfolds at a better pace. CoSTOP ACTING IN BAD MOVIES, BACHMAN!

directors Josh Gordon and Will Speck (Blades of Glory, The Switch) also rely on a deeper roster of winning comedic actors in supporting parts (including Vanessa Bayer, Rob Corddry, Randall Park, and scene-stealers Kate McKinnon and Jillian Bell) than the other flick—not to take anything away from the solid performances

by Jenny Zigrino, Ryan Hansen and Jeff Skowron for Bad Santa 2 helmer Mark Waters (Mean Girls, Freaky Friday).

So which to choose? Both are filled with bare asses, expletives and gross-out gags.

How your individual family can deal with such attributes may help you select the correct movie. Ask yourself: Can Aunt Millie take the curvy Joan of Mad Men bent over in a Christmas Tree lot yelling, “Fuck me, Santa!” 12 times in rapid succession?

Hmmm, sounds like you still may need some help deciding. The charts on the photos have been assembled with painstaking care and precision, despite it being based on notes jotted down on the back of an old Kaiser Permanente co-payment receipt—in the darkness of two Cinemark Century Huntington Beach theaters.

D ec erX23 -29, 16 M em ONb TH X–X X , 20 2014

till reeling from the malaise of another miserable Thanksgiving, many family members will opt this Christmas to spend a couple of hours not talking to one another inside a movie theater, where even drunk old Uncle Ned knows it is impolite to yammer on about “the darkies.”

Finding consensus on a movie title all can agree on usually leads to a comedy—and if there are no little ones in your party, an R-rated one. Fortunately, this season includes two holiday-tinged flicks that fit that bill: Bad Santa 2 and Office Christmas Party.

In Bad Santa 2, Billy Bob Thornton returns as foul-mouthed, alcoholic career criminal Willie Soke, who is prodded to go to Chicago to participate in a $2 million heist with two people he hates: his conwoman mother, Sunny Soke (Kathy Bates), and Marcus Skidmore (Tony Cox), the little person who shot Willie in the first Bad Santa movie.

Following Willie to the Windy City is Thurman Merman (Brett Kelly), who has grown up to be a man since the first movie while retaining his stunning innocence, cluelessness and faithfulness to the bad Santa. Willie’s feelings for Thurman and Diane Hastings (Christina Hendricks), the co-leader of the charity the thieves plan to knock off, complicate matters.

Office Christmas Party, which is also set in Chicago, hinges on branch manager Clay (T.J. Miller), chief technical officer Josh (Jason Bateman) and Josh’s head of tech Tracey (Olivia Munn) ensuring a good time is had by potential investor Walter (Courtney B. Vance) at the

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PARAMOUNT PICTURES

BAD SANTA 2 was directed by Mark Waters; written by Johnny Rosenthal and Shauna Cross; and stars Billy Bob Thornton, Kathy Bates, Tony Cox and Brett Kelly.

OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY was directed by Josh Gordon and Will Speck; written by Justin Malen, Laura Solon and Dan Mazer; and stars Jason Bateman, Olivia Munn, T.J. Miller and Jennifer Aniston.

ocweekly.com | | OCWEEKLY.COM

OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY F bombs: 40 (one of which is written on something) Gross-outs: 4 Sacrilegious moments: 2 Laugh-out-loud moments: 9 Ball sack images: 1 Bare asses: 4 (both sexes)

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| classifieds | music | culture | film | food | calendar | feature | the county | contents D ec em ber 2 3-29, 2 0 16

Hear Their Roar

» aimee murillo

Orange County’s best art of 2016 was frequently woman-made or -curated By dave BaRTon

T

his year has been rough on women.

Abortion rights continue to be stymied by the GOP. Rapists get their sentences reduced because male judges feel sorry for them.

The first female Democratic nominee for president of the United States is hounded and ridiculed. The Pussy Grabber, despite openly degrading women’s looks and bragging about sexually assaulting them, wins the election. On the flipside, there were some highlights: Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by almost 3 million.

Conservative women such as Megyn Kelly and Jennifer Pierotti Lim openly challenged Donald Trump. Anti-ERA leader Phyllis Schlafley passed into the great beyond. Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill.

Fifty-one percent of visual artists in the U.S. are women, but they don’t have that same parity in gallery representation, with male artists still receiving more exhibitions. The good news is that my home county is supportive enough of women artists that my Top 10 best exhibitions in Orange County in 2016 is dominated by their work. I saw more art this year than any previously, and the best work was from artists (and a majority of curators) who happened to be women. I believe this indicates a potential power shift, and if we have hope and remain vigilant, it will be a sign of continued things to come.

In order: “Jessica Chastain,” UC Irvine University Gallery. Artist: Maura Brewer; curator: Juli Carson. A remarkable intellectual and

visual takedown of Hollywood’s neglectful treatment of women, focused on the films of Jessica Chastain.

“Found,” Irvine Fine Arts Center. Artist: Debbie Carlson; curator Yevgeniya Mikhailik. Large, complex and lovely installation

pieces, open to a host of different interpretations, that pushed the boundaries between conceptual art and assemblage.

“Seen and Unseen: Photographs by Imogen Cunningham,” Bowers Museum. Curator: Celina Lunsford. Bohemian feminist and

“Aya Kakeda: Other Worlds,” RAWsalt Gallery. Curators: Suzanne Walsh and Carla Tesak Arzente. Japanese émigré Kakeda’s

wonderful sculptures and surreal, colorful paintings feel like a protective embrace of the kawaii, the extraordinary and the child-like.

JENNIFER DOZIER/WORK IN PROGRESS

“Marilyn Minter: Pretty/Dirty,” Orange County Museum of Art. Curators: Elissa Auther and Bill Arning. Bold and brave

badass deconstruction of beauty, porn and food, as well as the monolithic business empires built up around maintaining the status quo in each. Disturbing, gritty and in-yer-face.

“Valerie’s Family Secrets,” Max Bloom’s Café Noir. Artist: Richard Day Gore; curator: Bax Baxter. Like a game of Clue on canvas,

the exhibition teased us with bits and pieces of imagery and information that resulted in a compelling narrative tragedy; its protagonist a woman, the show was deeply empathetic and more than a little horrifying.

“Anthology: Mike Stilkey,” Great Park Gallery. Curators: Megan Clarke and Kevin Staniec. Stilkey’s magical manhandling

of stacks of old books, turning them into unique painted sculptures and done with a hilarious sense of humor, was a joy in every way possible.

“Observations, ” Long Beach City College.

Curator: Trevor Norris. Norris brilliantly

matched up artists, sometimes within different mediums, to create portraits of each other, including father and son, best friends, and mentors and students. The result—an opportunity to view how we’re seen through the eyes of those we’re close to—was a revelation.

“Future Recollections,” Jamie Brooks Fine Art. Curator: Jamie Brooks. The stunning

variety of figurative artists on display, with Rebecca Campbell’s unnerving paintings a standout, couldn’t prevent the gallery from closing its doors recently, and it’s a damn shame.

“Memento Mori: Skulls and Bones in Art,”

Huntington Beach Art Center. Curator: Phil Roberts. All things boney and cranial,

curated with taste and elegance, including an entire wall of biomorphic creepycrawly sculptures by innovative local artist Laurie Hassold.

HONORABLE MENTIONS Jennifer Dozier’s Work In Progress, at

Irvine Fine Arts Center through Jan. 21, 2017, hasn’t left me since I saw it several weeks ago. Its delicate tableau of waxcovered, knotted and twisted sheets resembled a canvas sculpted from marble.

Mesmerizing and exquisite.

The transcendent Like MARK by Kerri Sabine-Wolf, in Coastline Art Gallery’s show of the same name, gave us the founder of Facebook lost in his cellphone, a kaleidoscope of butterflies swarming about his head.

Anything Averi Endow paints, especially her work in Laguna College of Art + Design’s “Emerging Masters 2016” show at Laguna Art Museum.

Last, but not least, a handful of pieces at Artists Republic in Laguna Beach, under the eye of curator Torrey Cook: In “Pageant of the Vandals,” it was an actual Banksy rat cut from the walls of a San Francisco building, plus Lucy Sparrow’s plushie weapons of death and destruction. Laura Berger’s minimalist female-centric paintings on wood and terra cotta sculptures in the gallery’s Softer World show feel like the best sign-off possible to 2016: Her images of a loving, multi-ethnic sisterhood are kind reminders of a world with far more tender potential than the one we’re facing after Jan. 20, 2017.

LETTERS@OCWEEKLY.COM

I

’ve already offered insight into some of the coolest local artists, designers and shops in town to buy presents from this holiday season (most recently for our OC Speakly podcast—holla!), but artists need gifts, too. If you’re stuck on where to shop for the Keith Haring in your life, let this guide serve as a primer you can use for any occasion.

ART SUPPLY WAREHOUSE: The most obvious stop, not only because it’s one of the oldest art-supply stores in Orange County, but also because it carries the broadest inventory for nearly every medium. There are plenty of sales on its already-low prices, so you can splurge on that nice set of paintbrushes or a brand-new sketchbook. What I love most about this place is that you don’t need to be an artist to enjoy shopping here; its array of useful toys available at the checkout counter make for great stocking stuffers. You might not need a unicorn-shaped tape dispenser or a robot-shaped USB drive, but wouldn’t it be cool just to have? 6672 Westminster Ave., Westminster, (714) 891-3626; www.artsupplywarehouse.com.

AS ISSUED: If there’s anything artists love, it’s art books to inspire them. Snag a tome on famous tattooers, graffiti art, street photography, fine artists or graphic designers, and help your artist build an awesome coffee-table collection. 305 E. Fourth St., Santa Ana, (949) 300-7118; www.asissued.com.

PRO PHOTO CONNECTION: Photo accessories and film are probably some of the biggest expenses that drag on a photographer’s wallet, so a cool new camera bag or roll of film, for example, will go a long way in showing you care.

17671 Fitch, Irvine, (949) 250-7073; www.prophotoconnection.com.

AARON BROTHERS: Nice frames are expensive AF, dude, especially when they need to be customized to fit a certain piece. And they don’t carry exquisitely beveled frames at IKEA! Multiple locations; www.aaronbrothers.com.

AMURILLO@OCWEEKLY.COM

What to Buy Your Favorite Orange County Artist for the Holidays

online » amore ocweekly.com

| ocweekly.com |

maverick Cunningham broke a lot of glass ceilings with her work. Her black-andwhite images are on display through Feb. 26, so you still have time to see this distillation of the beginning, middle and end of that stellar career.

ABSTRACT YET TANGIBLE

Artist Gift Guide!

m ont h x x–xx , 20 14

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| classifieds | music | culture | film | food | calendar | feature | the county | contents | D ec emb er 23 - 29 , 20 16

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music»artists|sounds|shows

Feliz Navi Jams

Ten great Mexican Christmas songs

By Gustavo arellano

O

n Friday, the Segerstrom Center for the Arts hosts its annual Fiesta Navidad, featuring Mariachi Los Camperos de Nati Cano. It’ll be a spectacular evening as always, with the legendary mariachi playing everything from Mexican Christmas standards to versions of American Christmas classics.

Christmas songs are not as prevalent in Mexican culture as they are in el gabacho—there is no station, à la KOST-FM, that turns into a saccharine mess. And it’s rarer to find the Mexican artist who has recorded a Navidad album (or even song) than one who didn’t. But the Mexican Christmas genre still has its gems—and I’m not talking about remakes such as “Blanca Navidad” (“White Christmas”) or such non-Mexican songs as “El Burrito de Belen” (that’s Venezuelan), “Feliz Navidad” (boricua) and “Mamacita, Donde Esta Santa Claus?” (also Puerto Rican). The traditional tunes (called villancicos) are almost always religious-based—you know, the reason for the season. Those that aren’t are almost inevitably sad—you know, because Mexicans. Here’s 10 for you to (mostly) weep the holidays away—enjoy!

La Rama, a celebration that’s the region’s version of “Las Posadas.” Per PRI’s The “Amarga Navidad,” José Alfredo Jiménez.

World correspondent Betto Arcos, “Kids The most famous ranchera Christmas sing the tune accompanied by a shaker song of them all, written by Mexico’s [the titular rama], made with soda-bottle greatest singer/songwriter, the translation caps flattened out.” Every town in Verasays it all: “Bitter Christmas.” And it only cruz has its own version of the song, but gets more heartbreaking from there. The everyone shares the same refrain: “Naranprotagonist tells his beloved that “may jas y limas, limas y limones/más linda es la your cruel goodbye be my Christmas” virgen que todas las flores” (“Oranges and because he doesn’t want her for the New limes, limes and lemons/More beautiful Year—SAVAGE. Covered by everyone from is the Virgin than all the flowers”), which Vicente Fernández to Jenni Rivera, Los is the greatest shoutout to Mother Maria Cadetes de Linares and more! since Koran 66:11-12.

“Pancho Claus,” Lalo Guerrero. The Godfa“Navidad de los Pobres,” Los Tigres del Norte. The conjunto norteño masters start ther of Chicano music recorded a Christthis 1994 track slow, then their legendary mas album with his version of the Chipbass lines get the party started. As usual, the munks, Las Ardillitas (“The Chipmunks” Tigers of the North praise the eternally givin Spanish—REALLY trying hard there ing working class. “Even though my house to be original, Lalo!). But he was at his is small/I made the doors big,” they sing. satirical sharpest with this late-’60s track, “So that whomever can enter/When Christdropping in tamales, machismo, mambo, the Beatles, Spanglish, #borrachoproblems, mas comes.” Not nearly played enough in radio or Pandora, gentle cabrones. mariachi, and the generational divide “Regalo de Reyes,” Javier Solís. Mexico’s that was present even back then between greatest-ever crooner could’ve hummed pochos and paisas.

“La Rama,” various artists. “Las Posadas” a shopping list and made it immortal. For is the most famous song associated with “Regalo de Reyes” (“Present of Kings”), las posadas, the re-enactment of Joseph Solís sang perhaps the only mainstream and Mary looking for shelter in Bethlecanción about the Feast of the Epiphany— hem (wonder how that would work out in or, as it’s known across Latin America, El Trump’s America . . . oh, and #fucktrump). Día de los Reyes Magos (Day of the Three But far more gorgeous is this son jarocho Kings). A lonely Solís gets the feels for his standard from Veracruz. Over the arpeglong-departed love, going from December gios of a requinto and a harp, singers to the New Year in four lines and passdescribe the veracruzano tradition that is ing through a lifetime in one. His eternal

LOS TIGRES DEL NORTE: STILL SAVAGE

COURTESY LOS TIGRES DEL NORTE

desire: that heaven may grant him one wish—kissing his lady on Epiphany. Who would have ever thought Jan. 6 was such a sexy day?

“Navidad Sin Ti,” Los Bukis. We’ve already established that Los Bukis lead singer Marco Antonio Solís (not related to Javier) is Jesus, and this song is further proof. It’s even more grupera than usual for the septet: double-tracked vocals by El Buki, wind machines, sharp drums, a spoken-word passage and heartache. In this case, “The little lights of my Christmas tree/Seem as if they speak of you/ And in between piñatas and smiles/I feel that you’re not here.” Hey, Buki, drink some ponche with the single tías to make you feel less lonely.

“Navidad y Año Nuevo,” Eydie Gorme y Los Panchos. You can never go wrong with

the greatest supergroup of all time, even if this track is a bit more produced than some of their earlier collaborations. Eydie and the trio made two Christmas albums, with “Navidad y Año Nuevo” being the best song of the collection. Kudos to Columbia Records for remembering to put the tilde over the n in año in an era when it could’ve been excused for the mistake. Although imagine the aftermath if it hadn’t included the tilde . . . YIKES! “24 de Diciembre,” Juan Gabriel. Okay, so this isn’t one of JuanGa’s better efforts, too enamored he is of castanets and mid1990s beats. But this is El Divo de Juarez we’re talking about, in the year of his pass-

ing. And the more I listen to this song, the more I think Juanes took some elements of this song to create his mega-hit “A Diós le Pido”—just listen closely. . . .

“Rumba en Navidad,” Grupo Kual. Not to be confused with the La Sonora Matancera classic of the same name, this might be the most danceable rola on this list, even if it’s sad AF: A guy is missing his girl and parents because he’s “far from his pueblo.”

But fear not: The ceaseless synth sounds of sonidero’s most famous group will wash the sad away—and if you don’t believe me, believe the protagonist, who says, “Voy bailando pa’ olvidar” (“I’m dancing to forget”). WEEEEBEEEEEE! “Deseo de Navidad,” Ramón Ayala. Don’t believe the opening accordion riff of “Jingle Bells” offered by Mexico’s accordion king: This one’s the saddest Christmas song of them all. A husband tells his departed wife not only that he misses her, but also that their sons miss their mami even more. “They don’t wish for toys or gifts,” the protagonist pleads. “They just want for you to return to [their] home.”

And as one more dagger to the heart, Ayala finishes off the song with “Jingle Bells” again—BRUH. . . .

GARELLANO@OCWEEKLY.COM FIESTA NAVIDAD featuring Mariachi Los Camperos de Nati Cano, at the Segerstrom Center, 600 Towne Center Dr., Costa Mesa, (714) 556-2787; www.scfta.org. Fri., 8 p.m. $29. All ages.

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music» NOT LOS LOBOS

GUILLERMO MENDEZ

Having a Blast With the Past

Thee Commons revive old-school cumbia with a psychedelic twist

E

ast LA’s Thee Commons have a sound that’s far from ordinary.

David Pacheco (vocals and guitar), René Pacheco (drums) and José Rojas ( bass) combine their musical tastes and cultural upbringings into a stew that radiates a raucous party vibe. Currently on a West Coast tour that stops at the Wayfarer on Friday, Pacheco connected with the Weekly to discuss, among other things, the band’s most recent full-length, Loteria Tribal, released in April on Burger Records, and their 2017 release, Paleta Sonora.

OC WEEKLY: How do you describe

your sound?

DAVID PACHECO:We describe it as psy-

THEE COMMONS perform with Coral Fangs and Scissorbills at the Wayfarer, 843 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 764-0039; www.wayfarercm.com.

Fri., 9 p.m. $10. 21+.

VISIT NASCIGS.COM OR CALL 1-800-435-5515 PROMO CODE 962123

CIGARETTES

©2016 SFNTC (4)

*Plus applicable sales tax

Offer for two “1 for $2” Gift Certifi cates good for any Natural American Spirit cigarette product (excludes RYO pouches and 150g tins). Not to be used in conjunction with any other offer. Offer and website restricted to U.S. smokers 21 years of age and older. Limit one offer per person per 12 month period. Offer void in MA and where prohibited. Other restrictions may apply. Offer expires 06/30/17.

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in the process of just working and constantly creating, and it just took over.

Can you tell me about this current tour?

This tour pretty much just happened spontaneously and last minute. We were offered a gig up in Watsonville. We thought it was a solid gig, so let’s book more around it, and it’s almost like a last hurrah with the Loteria Tribal before we release the new album, which is what we’ll be playing more live. We’re . . . visiting cities that we don’t come to that often and just building that fan base. It’s like planting a seed. You go, and then you check up on it and water it, and hopefully, eventually, it starts flourishing.

And the end of the road is at the Wayfarer?

We actually played our kickoff for the U.S. tour we did back in July at the Wayfarer, so it’s like coming back a couple of months later, after we toured the U.S., after we recorded a new album. We haven’t played Orange County in a while; the last time was a very last minute show with the Budos Band at the Observatory.

Tell me about your upcoming release.

The new album was recorded the first week of October at One Take Studio in San Pedro. After our first U.S. tour, we were left in a state of limbo. Coming back to our day-to-day routines felt slightly mundane. We used that ennui as a fuel to remain creative. All of September, we rehearsed about three to four times a week for the whole month and came out with Paleta Sonora. It’s the first record for which we sat down with the engineer and mixed the album ourselves.

D ec emb er 2 3- 2 9, 20 1 6

chedelic cumbia punk. It’s a mish-mash of traditional ’70s and ’80s cumbia. We add that punk element, which comes sort of from the attitude we play with and also the way my voice changes from a gentle whisper to a ferocious growl.

What themes tend to arise when writing?

Definitely with the whole cumbia vibe, the theme would be the celebration of life because I think Latinos in particular, the way we were brought up, there’s always a reason to have a party or a celebration.

You might be dead broke and can’t afford to have a get-together, but you’ll still do it because you want your son or your daughter to have a nice birthday party. There’s always that cumbia or banda music playing in the back, so the celebration of life, I think, is what we really embrace.

You have released volumes of music on a very regular basis since 2012. What was the idea behind that decision?

The idea behind that was for us to develop a continuous work ethic, so that was a challenge we set for ourselves. It was initially supposed to be three volumes, but as we got into this, we immersed ourselves

By Kim Conlan

29

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LEVEL UP, DA DDY-O

BD JAZZ DUO

Jazz for Gamers

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23 - 29 , 2 0 16

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30

music source

dj depends

t’s not uncommon to stumble onto a classic video-game-theme-song cover by a musician jamming in Mom’s basement on YouTube. As BD Jazz Duo, Adam Bellotto and Robby Delosier have made a notable impression by putting a jazz twist on tunes any gamer is guaranteed to recognize. “The music of the video game really makes the emotion,” Delosier says. “It’s a good time to be a geek.”

It certainly is—especially for this duo. Bellotto had already been offered a record deal when he decided he wanted to play video-game music with Delosier. Since BD Jazz Duo’s genesis three months ago, they have played dozens of shows throughout Orange County, scoring slots at restaurants every week. And their unparalleled take on music has rightfully caught plenty of folks’ attention.

It’s a no-brainer that to play jazz versions of these songs, you have to be an avid gamer. A few of Bellotto and Delosier’s all-time favorites include Final Fantasy, Super Mario, Kirby, Dragon Quest, Duck Hunt and, of course, The Legend of Zelda. Delosier even has a USB Nintendo controller so he can play on his phone.

Bellotto moved here from Virginia and joined a band that included Delosier. Their collaboration started when Bellotto and Delosier wanted to go in a different direction with their musical endeavors. Since then, the two have been instilling nostalgia in anyone who has played classic video games—ah, the sweet memories of destroying Ganon.

Typically interpreted as background noise, the music in games is rarely noticed until you hear it playing outside of the game. (I once thought I heard the Mortal Kombat theme playing at the

LocaLsonLy

» yvonne villaseñor mall and tried finding where it was coming from for nearly half an hour.) And many people immediately recognize whatever BD Jazz Duo plays.

Their sets average about three hours, with the game themes getting the most crowd reactions being that of Zelda, Metroid and Super Mario Bros. At nearly every gig, someone shouts out what game the tune they’re playing is from. “You hit this part that you’ve played a million times, and this nostalgia rage just hits you,” says Bellotto.

Although covering video-game music is their shtick, Bellotto and Delosier also play movie and TV themes, including those of My Neighbor Totoro, Monk and Toy Story. Bellotto and Delosier are currently working on a music video, as well as negotiating a record deal to release an album by spring 2017. In addition, they are arranging to play at the Filmmakers’ Gallery in Long Beach, where they will potentially be a part of a concert series and a Christmas show, as well as a regular feature performing movie music for Oscar parties, TV music for the Emmy Awards and Broadway music for the Tony Awards.

To contact BD Jazz Duo, call Bellotto at (703) 2172913 or email him at adam.bellotto@gmail.com.

Hey, Orange County/Long Beach musicians & bands! Mail your music, contact info, high-res photos & impending show dates for possible review to: Locals Only, OC Weekly, 18475 Bandilier Circle, Fountain Valley, CA 92708. Or email your link to: localsonly@ocweekly.com.

THIS WEEK FRIDAY, DEC. 23

THE AGGROLITES: 9 p.m., $15. Constellation Room at

the Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; constellationroom.com.

BIG RIG DOLLHOUSE: 7 p.m., bring an unwrapped toy for entry. Tiki Bar, 1700 Placentia Ave., Costa Mesa, (949) 270-6262; tikibaroc.com.

THE CINERAMAS: 8 p.m., $5. Alex’s Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; alexsbar.com.

DOG N BUTTERFLY; MIRAGE: tributes to Heart and Fleetwood Mac, respectively, 8 p.m. The Coach House, 33157 Camino Capistrano, Ste. C, San Juan Capistrano, (949) 496-8930; thecoachhouse.com.

JAMES HARMAN; NATHAN JAMES & RHYTHM SCRATCHERS: 7 p.m., $12.50-$25. Don the

Beachcomber, 16278 Pacific Coast Hwy., Huntington Beach, (562) 592-1321; donthebeachcomber.com.

KODAK BLACK: 8 p.m., $30. The Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc.com.

RON KOBAYASHI: 6:30 p.m., free. Bayside Restaurant, 900 Bayside Dr., Newport Beach, (949) 721-1222; baysiderestaurant.com.

SEGA GENECIDE: 10 p.m. La Cave, 1695 Irvine Ave., Costa Mesa, (949) 646-7944; lacaverestaurant.com.

SEPTEMBER MOURNING: 7 p.m., $10-$12. Blacklight District Lounge, 2500 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach.

THE STRANGERS: 9 p.m., free. The Rush Bar & Grill, 23532 El Toro Rd., Ste. 24, Lake Forest, (949) 916-0200; rushgrill.com.

THEE COMMONS: 9 p.m., $10. The Wayfarer, 843 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 764-0039; wayfarercm.com.

WAX: 7:30 p.m. Underground DTSA, 220 E. Third St., Santa Ana, (888) 862-9573; underground-dtsa.com.

SATURDAY, DEC. 24

ANDREA MILLER: 7 p.m., free. Bayside Restaurant,

900 Bayside Dr., Newport Beach, (949) 721-1222; baysiderestaurant.com.

ROCKIN’ PIANO NIGHT: 7:30 p.m., free. Ciao Pasta Trattoria, 31661 Camino Capistrano, Ste. 201, San Juan Capistrano, (949) 496-5002; ciaopasta.net.

RON KOBAYASHI TRIO: 7 p.m., free. Moulin Bistro, 1000 N. Bristol St., Newport Beach, (844) 376-6243; moulinbistro.com.

SUNDAY, DEC. 25

THE GOOD FOOT!: 9 p.m., free. Alex’s Bar, 2913 E.

MONDAY, DEC. 26

LICK: 9 p.m., free. Que Sera, 1923 E. Seventh St., Long

Beach, (562) 599-6170; queseralb.wix.com.

OOGUM BOOGUM DANCE PARTY!: 9 p.m., free.

SKA-XING DAY, FEATURING FISHBONE; STARPOOL; THE AGGROLITES: 8 p.m. The

Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc.com.

TUESDAY, DEC. 27

THE COLTRANES: 9 p.m., free. The Continental Room,

115 W. Santa Fe Ave., Fullerton, (714) 469-1879; facebook.com/ContinentalRoom.

EVERETT COAST: 7:30 p.m., free. The Public House

ALICE WALLACE: 7:30 p.m., free. The Public House

by Evans Brewing Co., 138 W. Commonwealth Ave., Fullerton, (714) 870-0039; evansbrewco.com/pub/#thebrewery-1.

DEREK BORDEAUX BAND: 7 p.m., free. Original Mike’s, 100 S. Main St., Santa Ana, (714) 550-7764; originalmikes.com.

ENCORE PRESENTED BY MANIFEST RECORDINGS: 8 p.m. Que Sera, 1923 E. Seventh St.,

Long Beach, (562) 599-6170; queseralb.wix.com.

HENRY ROLLINS: 8 p.m. The Observatory, 3503 S.

Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc.com.

KAYTRANADA: 11 p.m. The Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc.com.

KYLIE JORDAN: 8 p.m., free. Casa Costa Mesa, 820 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 877-4011; casacostamesa.com.

MODERN DISCO AMBASSADORS: 10 p.m. La Cave, 1695 Irvine Ave., Costa Mesa, (949) 646-7944; lacaverestaurant.com.

THE PESOS: 9 p.m., $5. The Wayfarer, 843 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 764-0039; wayfarercm.com.

THURSDAY, DEC. 29

ALICE BAG: 8 p.m., $8-$10. Alex’s Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim

St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; alexsbar.com.

ANDREW BLOOM: 7:30 p.m., $5. Mozambique,

1740 S. Coast Hwy., Laguna Beach, (949) 715-7777; mozambiqueoc.com.

CALIENTE THURSDAY WITH DJ KABOOM AND DJ ERICKSON: 10 p.m., free with RSVP before

10:30 p.m. VLVT Velvet Lounge, 416 W. Fourth St., Santa Ana, (714) 664-0663; velvetoc.com.

DIVE CLUB: 9 p.m., free. Kitsch Bar, 891 Baker St., Ste. A10, Costa Mesa, (714) 546-8580; kitschbar.com.

DOUG LACY: 6 p.m., free. Ralph Brennan’s Jazz Kitchen, 1590 S. Disneyland Dr., Anaheim, (714) 7765200; rbjazzkitchen.com.

DW3: 8 p.m., $25. Spaghettini Rotisserie & Grill, 3005 Old Ranch Pkwy., Seal Beach, (562) 596-2199; spaghettini.com.

LA AIR RAID: 8 p.m., free. Blacklight District Lounge, 2500 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach.

MOJO JACKSON: 7 p.m., free. The Public House

by Evans Brewing Co., 138 W. Commonwealth Ave., Fullerton, (714) 870-0039; evansbrewco.com/pub/#thebrewery-1.

ODESZA: 8 p.m. The Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc.com.

RON KOBAYASHI: 6 p.m., free. Bayside Restaurant, 900 Bayside Dr., Newport Beach, (949) 721-1222; baysiderestaurant.com.

SPACE JESUS: 9 p.m., $15. Constellation Room at the Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; constellationroom.com.

THRASHER THURSDAY: 8 p.m., free. The Karman Bar, 26022 Cape Dr., Laguna Niguel, (949) 582-5909; thekarmanbar.com.

YOOKIE: 9:30 p.m., $15. The Yost Theater, 307 N. Spurgeon St., Santa Ana, (888) 862-9573; yosttheater.com.

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The Continental Room, 115 W. Santa Fe Ave., Fullerton, (714) 469-1879; facebook.com/ContinentalRoom.

THE SHAKES: 9 p.m., free. The Wayfarer, 843 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 764-0039; wayfarercm.com.

SINATRA & DINO DINNER SHOW: 6 p.m. La Cave, 1695 Irvine Ave., Costa Mesa, (949) 646-7944; lacaverestaurant.com.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 28

D ec em b er 23 -29, 20 1 6

Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; alexsbar.com.

HOOLIGANZ: 8:30 p.m., $10. Mozambique, 1740 S. Coast Hwy., Laguna Beach, (949) 715-7777; mozambiqueoc.com.

MISSILES OF OCTOBER: 4 p.m., free. The Whitehouse Restaurant & Nightclub, 340 S. Coast Hwy., Laguna Beach, (949) 494-8088; whitehouserestaurant.com.

SUNDAY BLUES: 4 p.m. Malarkey’s Grill & Irish Pub, 168 N. Marina Dr., Long Beach, (562) 598-9431.

by Evans Brewing Co., 138 W. Commonwealth Ave., Fullerton, (714) 870-0039; evansbrewco.com/pub/#thebrewery-1.

JAZZ NIGHTS AT ENVY LOUNGE: 8:30 p.m., free.

Envy Lounge, 4647 MacArthur Blvd., Newport Beach, (949) 287-8270; envyloungeoc.com.

KENNY MORENO: 8 p.m., free. Casa Costa Mesa, 820 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 877-4011; casacostamesa.com.

THE MELVINS; OFF!; REDD KROSS: 8 p.m. The Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc.com.

MIC DANGEROUSLY: 8 p.m., free. Gallagher’s Pub & Grill, 2751 E. Broadway, Long Beach, (562) 856-8000; gallagherslongbeach.com.

OLD SCHOOL HIP-HOP/R&B NIGHT: 7 p.m., free.

Pie Society, 353 E. 17th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 313-6335; piesocietybar.com.

SONGWRITERS @ SUNSET: 8 p.m., $10. Schooner at Sunset, 16821 Pacific Coast Hwy., Huntington Beach, (562) 430-3495; schooneratsunset.com.

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arlier this month, we recorded our Savage Lovecast Christmas Spectacular live at Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon. The audience submitted questions on tiny cards before the show, which allowed questioners to remain anonymous and forced them to be succinct. More questions were submitted than my guests and I could get to, so I promised the crowd I would answer as many of their unanswered questions as I could in this week’s column.

Here we go . . .

|

Not proposing the foursome is the only way to avoid potentially freaking your friends out and ruining the friendship.

How do you decide who wins an argument in a samesex relationship?

A sudden-death round of Golden Girls trivia.

All straight guys want to put it in your butt, but when you suggest eating it first, they run for the hills. How can I bridge this gap and get my ass eaten?

Date gay guys.

You know what you never see in those X-rays? Butt plugs and other toys designed for butt play. Stick to butt plugs with flared bases, dildos with bases that resemble balls, orange traffic cones, etc., and you’ll be fine.

Date gay guys.

How do I avoid lesbian bed death?

I’m in a FMF poly triad, and I’m looking to incorporate another guy into the mix. I’d look online, but I’m a public-school teacher in a small town. How do I find someone without outing myself and risking my career?

|

Ask your partners to do the headhunting.

|

SPECIALIZING IN ALL THINGS

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naughty!

This answer, courtesy of the Kinsey Institute, isn’t likely to satisfy you: “Somewhere from 10 percent to 54 percent of women experience some type of fluid expulsion in tandem with sexual arousal and orgasm.” Maybe the incoming Trump administration can put the scientists they’re pulling off climate change onto female ejaculation, and we’ll have better numbers before the 2018 midterm elections.

How do I get my partner—who says he’s into it—to top me “properly,” i.e., work me into a sub space instead of him just melting into an ooey-gooey love ball?

There are lots of terrific pro doms in Portland, Oregon. Hire one who’s up for showing your partner what proper topping looks like.

My wife goes on long runs with her girlfriend. I’m sure they are having sex in the woods. I’m jealous because I’m not getting enough. What should I do?

Trans man and cis female, happily married, planning to get pregnant in the next five months. How do we break it to my wife’s family? Half of them don’t know I’m trans and will be carrying, and we don’t want to lie, but also we don’t want them to see us as anything other than just a couple.

Get your own “running” partner.

Telling your partner’s family you’re trans isn’t going to decouple you. You’ll still be “just a couple”; it’s just that one of you is trans.

Since you’re not going to be able to hide which one of you is pregnant—not in the Twitter/Instagram/Facebook era—the sooner you tell them, the sooner they’ll have their freak-outs, and the sooner they’ll return to seeing you as the couple you always were and still are.

My partner/husband of 40 years says I still embarrass him.

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If you’re married and in an open relationship, do you need to include that info in your Tinder profile? Or can you wait until later?

You should include/disclose that info in your profile (best practice), but many similarly situated men choose to wait until later (understandable practice, considering the stigma).

But the existence of a spouse must be disclosed sometime between the end of the first text exchange and the start of the first blowjob.

| xx–x x, 2 014 Dmo ec nt emh ber 2 3-29, 2 0 16

| ocweekly.com |

» dan savage

I’ve heard so many horror stories and seen countless X-rays online—any tips for making sure I don’t lose any objects in my ass?

How common is it really for women to squirt? I get conflicting reports.

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If he says it affectionately and occasionally, it’s not a problem and not unusual. If he says it to degrade/humiliate/control you, it’s a problem and unacceptable.

How do white people talk to black people about Donald Trump?

Fifty-eight percent of white people voted for Trump, and 8 percent of black people voted for Trump. So, yeah, maybe instead of talking to black people about Trump, white people should shut up and listen to black people instead?

“Hall passes” don’t work for many women because they can’t orgasm when having random sex once with a random guy. What alternative would you recommend?

Where is it written on your hall pass—or anyone else’s— that it can be used only with complete strangers? Nowhere, that’s where.

How do you propose a foursome with your longtime friends without freaking them out or ruining the friendship?

I’m four months pregnant. My husband won’t stop talking about how excited he is to taste my breast milk. I said he could try it from a bottle, but he wants it from the source. I want to be GGG, but this weirds me out.

Tell your husband you’re going to table this topic for the time being. It’s possible you’ll be less weirded out by the idea once you’re actually breast-feeding, or the opposite is also a possibility. But pestering you about it for the next five months isn’t going to increase his chances of getting it from the source—quite the opposite. (And for the record: You can be GGG and still have hard limits/absolutely-nots.)

I’m a 25-year-old gay man who doesn’t resonate with hookup culture. If I’m not comfortable fucking right away, how can I compete/find a partner?

I get your question all the time—which means you’re not alone. Be up front about what you are willing to do (fuck after a getting-to-know-you date or two) and what you are not willing to do (fuck after a “sup?” or two), and you’ll scare off the wrong-for-you boys and attract the right-for-you boys.

I’m too broken. I don’t know where to start.

Therapy.

Not a question, but a thank-you for helping me to undo my “Utah damage.” Grateful for you, Dan! Merry Xmas!

You’re welcome, former Utahan, a belated Merry Xmess to you—and a happy/watchful/politically engaged/join-theresistance New Year to all!

On the Lovecast (savagelovecast.com), Dan Savage and the brilliant Randy Rainbow. Contact Dan via email at mail@savagelove.net, and follow him on Twitter: @fakedansavage.

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Surfas OC is NOW HIRING -Retail Sales Associate -Food Department -Smallware Department -Café/Cheese Counter -Test Kitchen Send your cover letter and resume to jobscostamesa@gmail.com Or drop off in-store.

Operations and Finance Manager: Costa Mesa Seller of high end specialty and safety sports apparel and accessories, to manage Operations and Control functions. Req: Bach. deg. In Eng. Mgmt or similar; 1 yr exp. in any aspect of high end specialty and safety sports apparel and accessories industry; coll. level coursework in Economics, Finance, and Control. Software req.: IBM AS400, Microsoft Dynamics Nav, Microsoft Dynamics AX, Fortech Stores2 (POS System), Board (Business Intelligence, Performance Analytics software), Tagetik, Citrix. Salary: competitive.

Resume to: susan.vega@dainese.com DRIVERS - $60 PER HOUR DRIVE EXECUTIVES FT/PT (561) 860-8511, (352)792-1245 or (201)688-5093

Embedded SW Engr (ESEGB) Research, dsgn, dvlp & test operating systems-level software. MS+2orBS+5.

Send resumes to Boundary Devices, Attn: HR, 21072 Bake Pkwy, Ste 100, Lake Forest, CA 92630. Must ref job title & code.

552 Handy People Affordable Handyman Same Day/Next Day Service Skilled Tradesman. All types Installation, Repairs & Improvements 25 yrs Serving OC Call Frank: 714-470-6195 Need a Legal Handyman?

We do it all!

Call Johnny on the spot!!

949-300-0642 Over 30 yrs of Building & Repairing in OC Free Estimates LIC. #577982 Bug Squad Protect Against Termite Swarming Season $200 off any termite work $50 pest control Orange oil treatment, Fugmigation, Repairs, Ants, Rodents, Bees, Rats, Gophers, Birds www.bugsquad-POW.com lic #PR1255-56 949-430-7203

BC Hauling and Demolition Let us haul away all your clutter! Appliances, Furniture, Trash, E-waste Job Site Debris, House, Yard, & Garage Clean up 949-365-6397 858-4BC-HAUL Harmon Plumbing We send out Plumbers...

Not Salesmen. Drains, Water heaters, Leak Detection, Hydro-Jetting, All Plumbing needs 562-943-4399 714-870-9957 www.harmon-plumbing.com Maria America No Finders Fee Available Right Now if you need a babysitter, housekeeper, or Elderly care Part or Full Time In or Out 30 yrs Experience Call Maria: 714-564-1747 One Time Yard Clean Up Trimming, Weeding, Planting, Drought Tolerant, Ground Cover, Landscaping, Design, & Hauling. Small/Big Jobs Welcome.

Free Friendly Estimates.

Visa/MC/DC/AMEX GK: 949-344-4490 Orange county hauling We Haul Away Anything! furniture, Trash, Appliance, Electronics, Construction Debris, Yard, House, & Garage Cleanout.

Same Day Service.

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Orangecountyhauling.com 949-315-0532 714-328-0720

554 Misc. Home Services Low Cost Remodeling Baths, remodel, Additions, Drive ways, New constructions & More Lic#841037 FREE Estimates.

Call: 714-224-6221 The Air Man Heating & Air conditioning Lowest prices of the year!

Free In-Home Estimates Trusted Since 1984 Call: (714) 630-5001 www.theairman.com

525 Legal Services Living Trust $600 Single or $800 Married Complete Estate Planning.

If you’ve been to any seminar. Call now for a FREE Office consultation Fred M. Lowary, Attorney of Law 714-778-2384 Robbed by your Employer?

Working overtime & called salaried? Told to clock out but continue to work? Called an independent contractor/1099 employee? Speak w/attorney Diane Mancinelli at no cost to you.

(714)734-8999

810 Health Improve Your Sex Life!

Erectile Dysfunction Treatment $70 Testosterone Therapy for Men & Women $199 Steady Care Medical 2001 East 1st St., Ste 102, Santa Ana 92705 714-558-8033 SteadyCareMedical.com

530 Misc. Services

Computer & Laptop Repair Installing Software, Printers, Network, Virus removal, Password Recovery, & Wireless Set Ups. 20 years Experience All Services done at Home or Office.

Call Nick, 949-294-2222

Huge Scarves/Sarongs/Jewelry Warehouse Sale on November 18th and 19th 10AM to 6PM 80% off prices!! Get your Xmas shopping done early! 11801 Cardinal Circle Garden Grove 92843

Real Estate For Sale 215 Open House 17232 Santa Barbara Street Fountain Valley Saturday, Dec. 24th 12:00pm - 2:00pm Home Size: 1,831 sq ft Lot Size: 7,405 sq ft Year Built: 1964 4 Bedrooms/ 2 Bathrooms Lily Campbell (714) 717-5095 LilyCampbellTeam.com

ADVERTISE WITH CALL 714.550.5900

JUNK REMOVAL WE PICK UP: Trash, Furniture, Jacuzzi, Appliances, Metal/ Wood Sheds, yard/storage/garage, vacacies, patio, Construction Debris and Concrete removal/demolition. ALL unwanted items.

South Coast Safe Access: FTP: Buy an 1/8, Get a FREE 1/8 | 1900 Warner Ave Ste. A, Santa Ana 92705 | 949.474.7272 | MonSat 10am-8pm Sun 11am-7pm Top Shelf Anaheim: $35 CAP | FTP: 4.5 Gram 8th OR $10 OFF Concentrates | Free DABS with Any Donation DOGO Deals & oz Specials 3124 W. Lincoln Ave. Anaheim | 714.385.7814 Ease Canna: FTP- All 8th will be weighed out to 5GRAMS!! | 2435 E. Orangethorpe Ave., Fullerton, CA 92831 | 714-309-7772 RE-UP: FTP Specials: 3G's Private Reserve $30 | 3G's Gold Crumble | 7G's Top Shelf | FREE PreRoll w/ $10 Donation 8851 Garden Grove Blvd, Ste 105 Garden Grove, CA 92844 | 714.586.1565 From The Earth: We are the largest dispensary in Orange County! 3023 South Orange Avenue, Santa Ana, CA 92707 Tel (657) 44-GREEN (47336) | www.FTEOC.com OCCC: FREE .5 Gram of Wax (FTP, not valid w/other offers) FREE Joint (w/min $20 don) | 8th's start at $15 | Grams start at $5 Concentrates .5 G start at $10 | 10 AM - 10 PM Daily 714.236.5988 | 10361 Magnolia Ave. Ste. B, Anaheim CA Hand N Hand: FREE Joint w/ any purchase | 20% OFF Any Edible (limit 1) | 20% OFF Wax Product 2400 Pullman St., Suite B, Santa Ana | 657.229.4464 SHOWGROW: Voted BEST DISPENSARY in OC 2016! 1625 E. St. Gertrude Pl. Santa Ana CA 92705 | 949.565.4769 | ShowGrow.com LA MIRADA HEALING CENTER: $35 CAP | FREE DAB WITH EVERY DONATION FTP'S: 4.5 G 1/8 | $10 OFF CONCENTRATES | $3 OFF EDIBLES 15902 IMPERIAL HIGHWAY LA MIRADA, CA, 90638 | 562-245-2083 Green Mile Collective: First Time Patients Receive a FREE Private Reserve 1/8th with order.

The Only Superstore Delivery Service | Call 1-866-DELIVERY or Order Online at DeliveryGreens.com

DELIVERY OC COMPASSIONATE CARE: Compassionately and professionally delivering high quality, lab tested ORGANIC medical cannabis to OC. 949-751-9747 | occcdelivery@gmail.com Deliveries completed within 1 hr.

Rite Greens Delivery: OC's Most Trusted Cannabis Source 9AM10PM Daily | 714.418.4877 | ritegreensdelivery.com PURE & NATURAL THERAPY: DELIVERING QUALITY PRODUCT TO LB, HB, SEAL BEACH & SURROUNDING CITIES | 7 GRAMS FOR $50 ON SELECT STRAINS | 3 FREE PRE-ROLLS WITH EVERY ORDER* | 714.330.0513 Dank City: FTP DEAL: FREE 4G (Any Strain) or Free 4G Paltinum OG Kief 949-558-3083 open 10 am to 9 pm Daily HIGHER PURPOSE DELIVERY: Long Beach's Premier Delivery FREE GRAM & FREE EDIBLE (FTP, w/min $40 don) We accept all major Credit & Debit cards! 562.552.0889

DR. EVALUATIONS OC 420 Evaluations: New Patients - $29 | Renewals - $19 1490 E. Lincoln Ave., Anaheim 92805 - 714.215.0190 1671 W. Katella Ave, Suite #130 Anaheim - 855.665.3825

FREE ESTIMATES • SAME-DAY SERVICE

4th St Medical: Renewals $29 | New Patients $34 with ad. 2112 E. 4th St., #111, Santa Ana | 714-599-7970 | 4thStreetMedical.com

714-296-8281 or 714-987-8495 www.perezhauling1.com | Lic. #BUS2015-01820

Cali 420 Rx: PLEASE CALL FOR LATEST SPECIALS! Sundays Appointment only | 714-723-6769 | 2601 W Ball Road, unit 209, Anaheim CA 92804 | Hours: Monday - Saturday 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM

Small Jobs welcome.• All Estimates incl. labor & Dump fees.

| OCWEEKLY.COM |

Embedded Syst. Software Engineer Implement & test embedded software (firmware) for audio processing; Process & review syst-level rqmts for audio processing, design components & configure real time embedded digital signal processing multimedia design. BS in Comp Sci or Electrical/ Software Engg + 5 Yrs of Exp. in job offered + 5 Yrs of Exp. in C Programming for embedded audio apps, Voice trigger, Power mgmt of embedded sys, Android middleware programming & ALSA framework in Android & Linux req’d. Mail resume to: Courtney Simmons, Conexant Systems, Inc., 1901 Main St., Ste. 300, Irvine, CA 92614.

#1 We Bring You $1,500 to $6,500 Cash Up Car's, Truck's, Van's, SUV's Generous Local Service Polite Since 1975 Cell/text (714) 808-3084

554 Misc. Home Services

services

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STOREFRONT Gram Kings: DAILY DEALS | Discounts for Military, Veterans, Disabled | 10189 Westminster Ave. Suite #217, Garden Grove 714.209.8187 | Hours: Monday-Sunday 10am-10pm

D EC EMB ER 23 - 29 , 2 0 16

Regulatory Affairs Specialist.

Handle regulatory procedure, submissions, audits, compliance. Master's degree in Laws or Regulatory Affairs. CV to HR, Pac-Dent Inc., 670 Endeavor Circle, Brea, CA 92821

CARS FOR CASH I’LL BUY YOUR CAR, TRUCK, RV OR VAN! Paying Cash $100-$5000 Running or Not 714-514-0886 949-375-5178

services

SAFE ACCESS DIRECTORY

| CONTENTS | THE COUNTY | FEATURE | CALENDAR | FOOD | FILM | CULTURE | MUSIC | CLASSIFIEDS |

o classifieds

2975 Red Hill Avenue, SuiteBandilier 150 | Costa Mesa, CAValley, 92626CA|92708 714.550.5940 | free online |ads & photos at oc.backpage.com 18475 Cir, Fountain | www.ocweekly.com 714.550.5900

41

1 ST LICENSED MEDICAL MARIJUANA DISPENSARY IN ORANGE COUNTY

SCSA

SOUTH COAST SAFE ACCESS

Largest Showroom & Biggest Selection in OC

FTP: Buy an 1/8, Get a FREE 1/8

Physician’s Recommendation Required for Treatment of: Anxiety | Chronic Pain | Diabetes | Insomnia | Arthritis | Glaucoma

25% VETERANS DISCOUNT 10% DISABILITY DISCOUNT All Products 10% SENIOR DISCOUNT Lab Tested

Now Hiring FULL/PART TIME 21 Years Union pay with and Over medical benefits EMAIL RESUME:

Info@southcoastsafeaccess.com

25% Veterans Discount

NEW

$35.00 1/8’s 10% Disability Discount CAP SHELF 10% Senior Discount see store for details

FTP 7 Gram 1/8th

HOURS: Monday-Saturday 10am-8pm • Sunday 11am-7pm *Physician's Recommendation Required for Treatment of: Anxiety | Chronic Pain | Diabetes | Insomnia | Arthritis | Glaucoma

1900 Warner Ave. Ste. A, Santa Ana 92705 (Conveniently Located Off the 55 Freeway) 949.474.7272 • Hours: Mon-Sat 10am-8pm Sun 11am-7pm

VOTED ORANGE COUNTY’S #1 DISPENSARY

2016

SANTA ANA

HOLID AY SALE!

4.5 Grams Free w/ any eighth (valid any day for new patients)

$130/OZ on reindear kryptonite

(Good until January 1st while supplies last)

12 12 12 12

2 2 /

BUY ONE GET ONE FREE ON ANY BIG PETE PRODUCTS

3 2 /

BUY ONE GET ONE FREE ON ANY BOOMSHAKA PRODUCTS

4 2 /

BUY ONE GET ONE FREE ON ANY PRESIDENTIAL PRODUCTS

1 LIMITED EDITION SHOWGROW NYE 3 / PARTY PACKS (ONLY 40 AVAILABLE)

1625 E St Gertrude Pl, Santa Ana, CA 92705 Mon-Sat 10-8P, Sun 11-7P | 949.565.4769 | ShowGrow.com