October 27, 2016 – OC Weekly

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The County

06 | MOXLEY CONFIDENTIAL |

Orange County’s top cops brazenly stonewall a death-penalty case judge.

By R. Scott Moxley 07 | ¡ASK A MEXICAN! | Are there any states in which Mexicans are not yet a majority? By Gustavo Arellano 07 | HEY, YOU! | The angel of hypocrisy. By Anonymous

Feature

09 | NEWS | OC’s Scariest People 2016: Send in the clownz.

By OC Weekly staff

in back

Calendar

15 | EVENTS | Things to do while

dreaming of cheese crisps.

Food

18 | REVIEW | Restaurant Marin is

a throwback to a more wholesome, simpler time. By Edwin Goei 18 | HOLE IN THE WALL | Best Foods in Irvine. By Gustavo Arellano 19 | EAT THIS NOW | Pan con pollo at El Divino Salvador del Mundo.

By Denise De La Cruz 19 | DRINK OF THE WEEK |

Oktoberfest Märzen at Golden Road Brewing. By Gustavo Arellano 22 | LONG BEACH LUNCH |

Beachwood Blendery premieres its lambic. By Sarah Bennett

Film

24 | REVIEW | Gimme Danger: More

The Last Waltz or Under the Cherry Moon? By Aimee Murillo 25 | SPECIAL SCREENINGS |

Screw Netflix—go see stuff locally!

By Matt Coker

Culture

26 | ART | The human condition is explained in OCMA’s “Make Your Own Friends.” By Dave Barton 26 | TRENDZILLA | Harveys does more Nightmare Before Christmas bags. By Aimee Murillo

Music

28 | PROFILE | Grammy-winning La Santa Cecilia are musically blessed.

By Gabriel San Román 29 | FESTIVAL | Jack Black and Kyle Gass evolve their Festival Supreme.

By Ali Lerman 30 | LOCALS ONLY | David and the Curse—now THAT’S a name!

By Daniel Kohn

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EDITOR Gustavo Arellano MANAGING EDITOR Nick Schou ASSOCIATE EDITOR Patrice Marsters SENIOR EDITOR, NEWS & INVESTIGATIONS R. Scott Moxley STAFF WRITERS Mary Carreon, Matt Coker, Gabriel San Román MUSIC EDITOR Nate Jackson WEB EDITOR Taylor Hamby CALENDAR EDITOR Aimee Murillo CLUBS EDITOR Denise De La Cruz EDITORIAL ASSISTANT/ PROOFREADER Lisa Black CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Reyan Ali, Dave Barton, Joel Beers, Sarah Bennett, Lilledeshan Bose, Kyle Cavaness, Josh Chesler, Heidi Darby, Alex Distefano, Edwin Goei, Michael Goldstein, LP Hastings, Daniel Kohn, Dave Lieberman, Adam Lovinus, Todd Mathews, Patrick Montes, Katrina Nattress, Nick Nuk’em, Anne Marie Panoringan, Amanda Parsons, Ryan Ritchie, Andrew Tonkovich, Chris Ziegler EDITORIAL INTERNS Angelena Grady, Cynthia Rebolledo, Yvonne Villaseñor

ART DIRECTOR Dustin Ames CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS AlGae, Bob Aul, Jared Boggess, Mark Dancey, Rob Dobi, Jeff Drew, Scott Feinblatt, Greg Houston, Cameron K. Lewis, Bill Mayer, Luke McGarry, Kevin McVeigh, Thomas Pitilli, Joe Rocco, Julio Salgado PHOTOGRAPHERS Bridget Arias, Ed Carrasco, Brian Erzen, Scott Feinblatt, Brian Feinzimer, John Gilhooley, Eric Hood, Nick Iverson, Allix Johnson, Matt Kollar, Isaac Larios, Danny Liao, Shane Lopes, Fabian Ortiz, Jeanne Rice, Rickett & Sones, Josué Rivas, Eran Ryan, Sugarwolf, Matt Ulfelder, Miguel Vasconcellos, Christopher Victorio, William Vo, Kevin Warn, Micah Wright EDITORIAL ART INTERN Mercedes Del Real

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Time to Kill Sheriff Sandra Hutchens refuses to surrender death-penalty-case records

T

hough operatives for District Attorney Tony Rackauckas insist behind-the-scenes that Thomas M. Goethals is unscrupulous, more apt descriptions of the Orange County Superior Court judge come to mind: studious and wry, but also cautious yet conscientious. Nuanced mental chess matches between opposing lawyers often thrill Goethals, an CONFIDENTIAL aficionado of legal scholarship. Such competition occasionally turns ugly, as in People v. Scott Dekraai. Unnecessary prosecutorialteam cheating R SCOTT transformed a slamMOXLEY dunk death-penalty conviction stemming from the 2011 Seal Beach massacre into a debacle known nationally as the OC jailhouse-informant scandal.

The mess involves government officials running unconstitutional jail scams against pretrial defendants, hiding evidence and rewarding snitches for dishonest testimony. According to court records, multiple officers, including Seth Tunstall and Ben Garcia, committed perjury to cover up misdeeds while prosecutors remained silent.

Goethals began focusing on the corruption 31 months ago and, despite embarrassing revelations about the criminal-justice system, is perplexed that our top cops remain unapologetic. Incredibly, five years into Dekraai, Rackauckas and Sheriff Sandra Hutchens continue to offer lame excuses as to why they’ve played a series of games with evidence.

But Goethals’ patience finally may be waning. While waiting for the California Court of Appeal to rule on the validity of his March 2015 decision to recuse the DA’s office from Dekraai for ethical concerns, the judge discovered the existence of additional hidden jail records called the Special Handling Log. He has scheduled an Oct. 28 hearing to announce the release of a portion of the latest batch (1,157 pages) of tardy disclosures to Scott Sanders, the public defender representing Dekraai.

Claiming to be shocked by the development, Assistant DA Dan Wagner, head of the homicide unit, admits these documents impeach the sworn testimony of Hutchens’ deputies in the capital-punishment case.

Though it has been obvious for years that prosecutors and deputies have worked in concert to deny the scandal, Wagner at least symbolically distanced his agency from Hutchens’ team.

moxley

» .

Despite timid efforts to reassure the public, there’s a lingering mystery: Is Hutchens—who insists the hiding so far of more than 11,000 pages and dozens of hours of audio recordings has been accidental—keeping even more key records from Goethals while the DA presses for Dekraai’s state execution verdict?

There’s an alarming background to the issue. The Orange County Sheriff’s Department and prosecutors initially hid the existence of inmate-classification records called TREDs from the defense because the contents hurt the government’s case. Next, we learned earlier this year that Hutchens concealed a second major records system known as the aforementioned Special Handling Log. After first pretending there was no such log, the sheriff in April surrendered entries from 2008 to Jan. 31, 2013, implying the system was inexplicably abandoned on that last day.

This is how Hutchens wrapped herself in a bind. Now that a portion of the log is in the judge’s possession and Wagner agrees with Goethals that the evidence should have been turned over to Sanders years ago, the sheriff has shifted strategies for her courthouse surrogate, Deputy County Counsel Elizabeth Pejeau. No longer denying the existence of the logs, they argue its release will cause daily chaos in the jails, compromise pending criminal investigations and increase the likelihood informants working for deputies will be beaten or killed.

But that stance raises a contradiction and provides the latest mystery for Goethals.

If those records are so vital to jail security, why did they supposedly end on Jan. 31, 2013—days after he issued his discovery orders to the department in Dekraai?

At a Sept. 22 hearing, the judge acknowledged he is “sensitive” to Pejeau’s arguments while remaining skeptical Hutchens is telling the truth. “If these documents are so critical with respect to preventing those horrific Armageddon-like possibilities . . . how has the sheriff gotten along since Feb. 1, 2013, when, for some unexplained reason, the log stopped?” Goethals asked. “The jail hasn’t fallen down. I haven’t heard anything about investigations being compromised, and I am not privy to everything that happens in this county. I try to keep my ears open. I haven’t heard about any informants being killed because the Special Handling Log suddenly ended on Jan. 31, 2013. . . .

Apparently, it wasn’t that important.”

Pejeau responded, defensively, “Well, I don’t know that’s true.”

Since the log’s emergence in April under a protective order, Sanders has maintained the system was secretly re-constituted using a different name, buying the sheriff

BOB AUL

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additional time to play dumb.

The judge pressed Pejeau.

“I don’t know if anything replaced the log,” she said before issuing a poorly worded statement. “I think the sheriff continues to make sure there aren’t records kept somewhere.”

Goethals asked, “As an officer of the court, are you representing that the log stopped on Jan. 31, 2013, and there is not some equivalent document that has continued to be generated ever since—just with a different name?”

“I absolutely cannot make that representation to this court,” she replied. “The sheriff continues to look for information in all of the places where they keep information.”

“Obviously, that hasn’t worked well,” the judge said. “We are three and a half years down the road [after my discovery order], right?”

“Well,” she said.

“How long are we going to search?”

“Well.”

“I made an order on Jan. 13, 2013, for significant discovery and held six months of hearings, and I made a ruling 18 months ago,” the judge said. “Two years ago, I made a subsequent ruling, and then new records came out. Eighteen more months have passed. Here we are again. . . . When should I expect full compliance with lawful orders that I have issued? What do you think?

What would be fair? Three and a half years isn’t enough time?”

“I don’t think anyone is denying there have been issues with turning over information,” she offered. “The sheriff is taking this matter very seriously.”

“Isn’t that kind of sad?” the judge replied.

“We are now in late September 2016 . . . and you just said you can’t guarantee [the

defense has] received everything there is or supposed to have. . . . So, it seems to me if we are acting in good faith and looking as hard as we can, somebody might have asked the question ‘Well, what replaced, if anything, that log?’”

An exhausted-sounding Pejeau replied, “I suspect there are going to be additional records to produce.”

“So do I,” Goethals answered. “So do I.” It’s not just Hutchens—who refused to answer the Weekly’s question about what happened to the log—and Pejeau who should be in the hot seat. As leader of the prosecution team, Wagner is ultimately responsible for all the disclosure failures. At least six months ago, he must have realized Hutchens still possesses hidden records.

It’s past time for this prosecutor to abandon his silence and explain what effort, if any, he has undertaken to meet his ethical and legal obligations.

Californians face dueling November ballot measures on the death penalty: speed up executions by severely limiting the amount of time appellate teams can review cases for corruption (the Rackauckasand-Hutchens-backed Proposition 66), or make life in prison without the possibility of parole the maximum punishment (the Sanders-backed Proposition 62). With that choice in mind, attention can turn to Goethals’ courtroom for the next Dekraai hearing. That’s when we’ll know if the sheriff will honestly answer the judge’s questions or continue to trample the constitution’s due-process rights.

RSCOTTMOXLEY@OCWEEKLY.COM

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» GUSTAVO ARELLANO DEAR MEXICAN: ¿Por que no hay un pinche líder entre nosotros o de nosotros los mexicanos? Para que tuviera los tanates bien puestos y hablara frente al congreso y les dijera sus verdades a los hipócritas políticos. ¿Será que “nuestros lideres” son unos miedosos o vendidos? No hay uno solo (solo el Chapulín Colorado) que nos defienda, tanta humillación que han tenido los negros, siempre de sirvientes o mozos, pandilleros y drogadictos (en Hollywood) y nadie protesta y salen con que Memín Penguin es ofensivo, otra de esas y nos subimos el cierre, ¿eh? En serio, “Ask a Mexican”, ¿Como podría yo hablar delante del congreso, local, estatal o federal? ¿Sería mucho pedir?

Pónganse las Pilas, Putos DEAR READERS: For those of you who still don’t habla—and if you don’t habla, ¿que chingado estas esperando?—the writer asked where’s the Mexican leader who’ll take us into the Promised Land of American acceptance, then couldn’t help but to attack blacks while he had my attention.

Ya cállate con los “pinche negros,” pendejo. And Mexicans did have a messiah who saved us all— his name was Juan Gabriel, and he recently died.

DEAR MEXICAN: Are there any states in which Mexicans are not yet a majority?

Gabacho Really Wants to Know

DEAR MEXICAN: Forgive me for not using neat-sounding Spanish words in this email; my Spanish is rusty, and it’s late. Reading through the archives of your column, it seems that you have forgotten, or chosen to ignore, those gabachos who actually do not hate Mexicans. Take me, for example. While this email is relatively devoid of Spanish phrases, I love the Spanish language. I studied it in high school and wholly intend to learn it again, probably next semester.

I love Mexican food, and I mean the real stuff (although I enjoy Taco Bell as well). My high school was relatively small, and we had a lady come in to tutor the few of us who cared to learn Spanish. While she had lived in America quite a while, she had not assimilated. She cooked for us one day, and that started my love for authentic Mexican food. She also instilled in me a fascination with Mexican culture. I even would go so far as to say that I would support an amnesty program: Mexicans will always be here, so why not make them legal? If they’re not gonna do it the legal way, then we might as well throw in the towel. I wrote all this to simply remind you that not all Americans hate Mexicans. Quite the contrary: Some of us love them!

Too Tired to Think Up an Interesting Pen Name, or Any Interesting Questions DEAR GABACHO: While I appreciate you and other gabachos who stand by Mexicans, be careful with your words: Trump just might deport you, too, if he wins. Oh, and #fucktrump.

ASK THE MEXICAN at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter, or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

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ou threw me under the bus to the dysfunctional BOB AUL piranhas—one Schizotypal and the other Borderline—as they seem to do the dirty work for you, which you seem hell-bent on distancing yourself from. You exude an aura of altruism to the suckers who don’t know you well. Hiding behind the soup kitchen’s reputable altruistic services has earned you an angel of hypocrisy title you seem to percolate well.

What was it that I’ve been accused of? Stealing donations? What do you call it when your tipping-the-scales husband “helps himself” with a crate full of donated goods?

Candor of solidarity?

Neptune's Lagoons

OPE HALLONWL AEETNE !

OctO b er - N Ovem 0 3, 201 6 MO28 N TH X X–Xber X , 2 014

DEAR GABACHO: Bruh, the Reconquista ain’t that advanced—yet. New Mexico has the highest percentage of Latinos at 47 percent of its total population, but most of them don’t even consider themselves Mexican. The next-highest states are California and Texas, with 38.2 percent of their respective populations Latino per the U.S. Census, although Texas has the higher percentage of Mexicans in that group because of all the South Americans and Central Americans in California.

And the state with the lowest Latino percentage of its people? West Virgina, at 1.3 percent.

Raza: Don’t be scared, and move to the Mountain State. Don’t forget that hillbillies are just brothers from a different madre.

Spoil Someone Special At...

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Send In ‫ ה‬C�wnz

or those haunted since childhood by clown nightmares, it has been pretty easy to stay away from them. Just avoid circuses, kiddie birthday parties and certain hamburger joints. But recently, the so-called creepy-clown phenomenon—which has murderous-looking jesters popping up along roadsides and other places to scare the bejesus out of you—has spread from the Land of Hillbilly Incest to the county of Orange. And no mixture of rye, Ambien and Welsh rarebit prevents our new nightmares.

So what theme did we decide on for this year’s Scariest People issue? Creepy clowns! Even the most Pennywise of Pagliaccis can’t hold a seltzer bottle to this year’s crop of cretins. Enjoy, and don’t forget to check online for the newest inductee into the Bob Dornan Scary Hall of Fame! P.S., if there seems to be a plethora of Trump mentions this year, it’s because the Donald is the biggest clown of them all. Oh, and #fucktrump.

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Send in the Clownz: Scariest People 2016 » FROM PAGE 9

1. TONY RACKAUCKAS

Enshrined in our Scary Hall of Fame waaaaaay back in 2003, Orange County’s district attorney claims to be a law-andorder proponent hell-bent on protecting society from criminals and standing up for the victims of violence. But in the past two years, Rackauckas has advocated that two vicious serial-killer inmates, Oscar Moriel and Rene “Boxer” Enriquez, should have the right to freely roam public streets again. His rationale? Moriel and Enriquez supposedly redeemed themselves while in custody by serving his office as jailhouse snitches. Meanwhile, the DA is helping to lead the effort to pass this November’s Proposition 66, which seeks to speed up state executions under the theory that ruthless killers aren’t redeemable. Mitigating factor: Susan Kang Schroeder, the DA’s chief of staff, wears expensive, killer red outfits.

2. JENNIFER MURPHY m Jennifer Murphy would be just another

washed-up ex-beauty queen if not for “I Want to Be Neenja.” The jaw-droppingly racist tune she crooned this year during a Laguna Hills launch party for her signature beds rightly enraged Asian-Americans when it surfaced on YouTube. But instead of apologizing for her ching-chong sing-along, she released a full music video that was followed up with “I Drive Like a Neenja”—get it, Asians (oops, neenjas) are bad drivers! The former Apprentice candidate also recently spoke out about Trump planting a kiss on her after a leaked Access Hollywood video exposed him bragging about grabbing women “by the pussy.”

Only twist? Murphy firmly supports Trump and didn’t think his smooch was sicko. Mitigating factor: Finally put Laguna Hills on the national map.

3. CHUCK DONNER

The Exalted Cyclops of the Ku Klux Klan for some chapter or other arrived in Anaheim’s Pearson Park in February for a White Lives Matter rally, hoping to recreate all the hooded glory of 1924, when 20,000 Kluckers gathered there. This time around, only half a dozen Klansmen showed up, vastly outnumbered by protesters ready to kick Klucker ass. Donner pulled a blade during the ensuing brawl and went Chucky on protesters, stabbing a Felipe Esparza-looking punk, a white dude and a Green Party guy before he was tackled by Anaheim police. Claiming Donner acted in self-defense, the cops later set him free. The gilded son of the late Charles D’honau, a former publisher of TIME Magazine in Japan, Donner forsook his family’s name—but not the million-dollar San Francisco home daddy left behind. With Jewish and French roots, Donner is part Judenrat and Vichy, collecting Nazi regalia in his abundant free time. Mitigating factor: Donner told Anaheim police when and where the Klan planned to arrive, only to have the cops fuck up their protection anyway.

4. KAMALA HARRIS & DILLON ALLEY

Inside Central Justice Center in March, Orange County district attorney’s office (OCDA) investigator Dillon Alley pummeled James Crawford, a defense attorney who’d earlier won a new murder-trial motion for a client over OCDA objections.

Kamala Harris, California’s attorney general and current U.S. Senate candidate, investigated the assault and—despite photos of Crawford’s bloody, swollen and bruised face—claimed she couldn’t decipher who’d been the aggressor. Mitigating factor: It’s cute to see Democrats and Republicans working together for injustice.

Only about 35 John and Ken fans showed up to go on a safari tour of OC’s downtrodden. Ken told listeners he hadn’t stepped on a syringe yet, while John made sport of a troubled woman who rambled incoherently on-air. So stale is their act that only a few Mexican activists bothered protesting—the most damning indictment of their popularity possible. Mitigating factor: JohnKen finally found out what SanTana residents have known for decades: Mayor Miguel Pulido is a pendejo.

I 7. AYA IBISH

On Sept. 27, the Laguna Beach resident posted on Instagram a photo of her smiling with her “new pride and joy”: a black Mercedes-Benz with a giant red ribbon on the hood. Around 11 that same night, the 22-year-old allegedly slammed into a bicyclist in Costa Mesa and drove off—only to be captured by police a short distance away. Police say Ibish failed a field sobriety test before she was arrested on suspicion of felony hit-and-run and felony DUI causing injury. Her case reinforces negative stereotypes that Orange County’s privileged willingly commit the seven deadly sins—and take selfies to prove it. Mitigating factor: At least she wasn’t the daughter of a former OC supervisor.

8. COLE BARTIROMO

5. JOSHUA ACOSTA AND FRANK FELIX

For all the stares, guffaws and flapping lips directed at those who dress in animal costumes and take on critter personas—as well as the people who love them—the furry community could at least take pride in knowing they were not hurting anyone with their lifestyle.

But things took a dark turn in September, when a couple was found murdered in their Fullerton home alongside a family friend. The deceased wife and slaying suspects Joshua Acosta and Frank Felix were furries, although it remains unclear if that had anything to do with the killings. Mitigating factor: Prison provides many opportunities for cosplay.

6. THE JOHN AND KEN SHOW

Not too long ago, KFI-AM 640 ruled the Southern California airwaves, with John Kobylt and Ken Chiampou being their loudmouthed right-wing golden voices.

But KFI’s glory days are fading faster than Bryan Suits’ career, so what’s a desperate duo to do? After harping on Santa Ana’s Civic Center homeless encampment for weeks, The John and Ken Show did a live broadcast onsite.

The Mission Viejo resident got sucker punched during April’s anti-Trump protests in Costa Mesa, with his blood-stained face gracing the cover of the New York Post the next day. Sympathies didn’t last long when Bartiromo’s crazed Facebook rants against Muslims and Mexicans surfaced along with his swindling past, which included fraud charges against him filed by the Securities and Exchange Commission and a 33-month prison stint for conspiring to defraud a Mission Viejo Wells Fargo bank. After the Weekly outed his past, he even put up thousands of dollars in reward money for info on “little Jorge Ramos” (his name for our Mexican-in-Chief ). Hey, Cole: Gustavo Arellano is an anchor baby.

Pay up! Mitigating factor: Bartiromo is a Seattle Mariners fan, which builds character through insufferable seasons.

9. MICHELLE SUZANNE HADLEY

She’s accused of sending emails threatening her ex-lover’s wife and unborn child as well as posing as the mother in response to Craigslist ads to have violent rape fantasies fulfilled and to have attacks continue even if she resists.

Somehow, we don’t think the CW’s My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend will work this plot-

line into its second season. Mitigating factor: Didn’t use Backpage.

10. STEVEN KORESSEL AND RICHARD BRENTON MELBYE

Tim the Turkey was a beloved presence at Orange High School. But this spring, the 5-pound bird was found wandering near the Orange Circle bruised, reeking of beer, missing feathers and with a gooey substance on his chest. If that sounds like your typical Chapman University undergrad, you’re not too far off: Orange police arrested lacrosse players Steven Koressel and Richard Brenton Melbye for kidnapping the gobbler. Tim never recovered from his injuries and was euthanized in August; Koressel and Melbye pleaded guilty to misdemeanors and were sentenced to probation and community service—but not before rejoining their team in time to help the Panthers win a national championship. Mitigating factor: Lacrosse is a sport for wimps.

11. RECEP TAYYIP ERDOGAN

Turkey’s president has tasked attorney Robert Amsterdam with tackling U.S. charter schools linked to Fethullah Gülen, his ally-turned-rival. That proxy war hit Anaheim, where liberals such as Anaheim Union High School District Superintendent Michael Matsuda and current Anaheim City Council candidate Jose F. Moreno cast themselves as public-education heroes against the reclusive Islamic cleric with op-eds against Gülen-linked schools and a formal complaint filed with the California Department of Education, respectively. They then rolled out the red carpet for a March screening of Killing Ed, an anti-Gülen documentary. Matsuda and Moreno didn’t seem the least bit bothered as the film built to a big Islamophobic crescendo about Gülen’s supposed secret agenda: “Global Islamic State.” “Caliphate.” “Sharia Law!” Anaheim liberals haven’t gotten so played by a despot since Scary Hall of Fame inductee Curt Pringle became Anaheim’s mayor. Mitigating factor: Erdogan has been so distracted by Gülen he hasn’t had time to stamp out the Kurdish revolution in Rojava.

12. BIG BROTHER CAMERAS

Anaheim and Santa Ana cities are implementing city-wide camera systems manned by police. Santa Ana is already affixing HAL-looking orbs on city-owned buildings in downtown, while Anaheim plans to soon start its surveillance program complete with one-way audio allowing for police to bark orders through loudspeakers. Laguna Niguel Amtrak mooners: Please bring your butt cheeks over to Santanaheim, stat! Mitigating factor: Maybe Santa Ana’s cameras will catch a councilman walking out of a bar with a woman other than his wife.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

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» FROM PAGE 10

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COUNTY classifiedsMUSIC musicCULTURE cultureFILM filmFOOD fOOdCALENDAR caleNdarFEATURE featureTHEthe cOuNtyCONTENTS cONteNts ON2TH X–Xmbe X , 2014 OctObMer 8- NXOve r 03, 20 1 6 CLASSIFIEDS

Send in the Clownz: Scariest People 2016

THE

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Costa Mesa, Ca November 18 & 19, 2016

I 13. DR. KEVIN SABET

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16. DAVE RODRIGUEZ

Once topping a Rolling Stone listicle of “Legalization’s Biggest Enemies,” Sabet’s over-the-top lectures about how and why marijuana is the beginning of the end of the world are hilarious if you understand that he’s full of shit. In his two visits to OC this year, he spouted off lines such as “Recently completed research shows that pot can significantly decrease IQ” and “One out of every six children who try the drug become marijuana addicts and end up on the streets.” No wonder Sabet is a favored guest of OC law enforcement and education officials— they’re full of shit, too. Mitigating factor: In a century, he’ll be as big a punch line as the Volstead Act.

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14. NAKED TODD MARINOVICH IN YOUR BACK YARD

| | OCWEEKLY.COM | | ocweekly.com

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ing that day and wrote an account of the fiasco. Even worse? Salinas slipped into Denise’s DMs and quoted her without permission. Way to inspire the next generation! Mitigating factor: Still better than Peggy Noonan.

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You’re lying on your couch, watching the season finale of The Real Housewives of Tulsa, when you hear something outside.

You grab the nearest fireplace poker and use the tip of it to gently pull back the curtain to your back yard, only to reveal a tall, skinny, near-albino dude looking back with a dazed expression. Upon closer inspection, you realize it’s Todd Marinovich, and the cool night breeze is doing no favors to the former Mater Dei/Capo Valley/USC/ NFL QB’s shotgun formation. That was the scenario for the Irvine resident who this summer found him, toting meth and marijuana. Mitigating factor: As with his former Raiders offensive line, Marinovich is always holding.

Last July, the California state director and president of the League of United Latin American Citizens (LULAC) endorsed the Poseidon desalination project in an Orange County Register op-ed, arguing it was a “matter of environmental justice and civil rights” for Latinos in Orange County. This came as a surprise to local Latino activists, who’ve been too busy fighting for actual civil rights, including exposing dirty cops and stopping deportations, to notice. Mitigating factor: No one reads the Register or cares about LULAC anymore, so Rodriguez’s scribbles had no influence whatsoever.

17. WHOEVER HIRED SOMEONE TO SHOOT DEREK WORDEN

Last November, someone tried to kill South Coast Safe Access manager Worden outside the medicinal-marijuana dispensary. He was lucky: Although two bullets hit him and he spent days in a medically induced coma, Worden didn’t die. The would-be assassin is still at large, and rather than having a personal beef with Worden, he was most likely a hired hitman. It’s the scariest local marijuana-related crime since October 2012, when another dispensary manager was kidnapped, tortured and sexually mutilated by a trio that includes Hossein Nayeri, who’s still facing trial for that crime and who briefly escaped from Orange County Men’s Jail this January.

Mitigating factor: There’s still a reward for the shooter’s arrest.

18. BRANDI ALMA VALADEZ

Orange County prosecutors say the 40-year-old was aware that a preteen boy committed lewd acts with a girl, who was younger than 10, in the adult’s home.

Following an investigation, she has been charged with making the children perform lewd acts in front of her, molesting the boy and threatening him with a scalding bath if he did not comply. Held on $1 million bail, Valadez could get 30 years in prison if convicted. Mitigating factor: A cauldron just opened up in Hell.

15. MARIA ELENA SALINAS

The Univisión anchor is the most famous Latina journalist in los Estados Unidos, so it was natural for Cal State Fullerton to invite her to give the school’s general commencement speech this year and let her speak again at the College of Communications’ ceremony. What wasn’t natural was for audience members to boo Salinas during her second talk when she said a few words in Spanish and urged students to hold politicians accountable. What was even more unnatural was for Salinas to write a column bashing not her haters, but rather Weekly staffer Denise De La Cruz, who just happened to be graduat-

19. CHRISTOPHER QU

The 24-year-old was taken into custody in March on suspicion of yelling racial slurs at a black teen at Irvine High, hitting the teen’s older brother with a metal pipe and head-butting the youngster. Previously, Qu was charged with felony assault with a deadly weapon and a misdemeanor count of making criminal threats. He copped to the lesser charge, the felony was dismissed, and he went to jail. He has a pretrial hearing scheduled in November on the new charges. Mitigating factor: We need reminders that the model minority stereotype is a myth.

24. DAVID YERUSHALMI

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It’s bad enough to swindle elderly couples, but Walthall became unglued after his 2009 conviction. He concocted a prisonhatched plot to kidnap U.S. District Court Judge Andrew J. Guilford, torture him into confessing in an Internet video feed that he’d presided over a tainted trial,

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26. JOHN WALTHALL

LOS ANGELES

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The Orange County Register editorial board boss oversaw three embarrassing gaffes this year that drew national attention. In January, he apologized after an editorial argued pro sports cheerleaders shouldn’t seek state classification as employees (as opposed to independent contractors) because the job has “fringe benefits . . . such as working closely with” millionaire players. Then came a piece in March blasting Assemblymember Don Wagner for running against State Senator John Moorlach. Only problem? Wagner wasn’t running. The Reg swung and missed again in October, when it endorsed Ling-Ling Chang against Sukhee Kang for a State Assembly seat. But Kang wasn’t her opponent. Mitigating factor: Calle has luck, because despite these fuck-ups, Digital First promoted him to oversee the opinion pages at the chain’s 11 Southern California dailies.

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What do you do when you’re sued for anti-Muslim discrimination? Hire an anti-Muslim lawyer! That’s the strategy of Urth Caffe, whose Laguna Beach outpost was sued by a group of Muslim women for discrimination. The coffeehouse chain countersued with the help of Yerushalmi, whom the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) placed in its “Anti-Islam Inner Circle” for gems such as saying the War on Terror “should be a war against Islam and all Muslim faithful” and that moderate Muslims are “effectively non-existent.” True to form, he summarily dismissed one of the plaintiffs as “a young Palestinian woman who belongs to organizations that call for the destruction of the state of Israel.” Mitigating factor: One of the Urth Caffe owners is Muslim, so Yerushalmi can’t hate Muslims that much.

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Epting became a regional folk hero a couple of years ago after spearheading a campaign to beat back a beach-fire-pit ban. But after losing his column last fall with the Huntington Beach Independent, Epting turned . . . weird. He signed up with the newspaper of Surf City’s felonious ex-mayor Dave Garofalo and spends the rest of his time trolling Huntington Beach online forums and blogs. Southern California got to see this new Epting

2 YEARS IN A ROW!

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23. CHRIS EPTING

BEST LIVE BAND

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The UC Irvine economics professor came into Trump’s sights after he wrote 2006’s The Coming China Wars, and the New York real-estate developer responded with a favorable blurb for the professor’s 2011 Death by China: Confronting the Dragon, which a Los Angeles Times writer hailed as “xenophobic hysteria.” Without meeting him, Trump—who has blasted “Gyna” hundreds of times in speeches—put Navarro on his presidential campaign’s economic advisory committee. The profe, a former Democratic Party candidate, claims Trump “will no longer tolerate” American corporate bosses abandoning U.S. workers for ones in China. Yet, the GOP candidate has made his lame suits and ties in China and chosen Chinese steel over a better American-made product for two of his last three projects. Mitigating factor: Sometimes, you have to sleep with the yellow-haired devil for a potential White House cabinet position.

THANK YOU ORANGE COUNTY FOR VOTING US

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22. PETER NAVARRO

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21. THE “PULL TRUMP” GUY

A white-haired gentleman in a pickup truck became Internet famous after a videotaped confrontation between him and a cyclist in Corona Del Mar went viral. “You’re a tiny little man, a big shot,” the truck driver seethed, explaining that he’s a local OC surfer and doesn’t appreciate bike-riding outsiders clogging up the road. “What are you going to do,” he added, realizing he’s on camera. “Put it on tape? Surfer against a queer? . . .

I’d like to smack you so fucking good.

If there wasn’t any witnesses, do you know what I’d do to you? I’d pull Trump on you.” Mitigating factor: The man apologized after the tape hit the local news, and at least he didn’t try to grab anyone’s genitals.

-N MO28 NT HOVEMB XX–X X,ER 2 003 14, 2 016 | CONTENTS | THE THE COUNTY COUNTY | FEATURE FEATURE | CALENDAR CALENDAR | FOOD FOOD |FILM FILM |CULTURE CULTURE |MUSIC MUSIC CLASSIFIEDS | CLASSIFIEDS | OCTOB ER

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when he and his son crashed a summer peace vigil at the Huntington Beach Pier, snarling at attendees after someone wrote the name of the man who killed five Dallas police officers on the ground. The author left after press cameras caught his hissy fit, boasting in a Facebook group later that night that he “deflated” the RICK LOOMIS | LA TIMES memorial; after Epting left, 200 people continued as if nothing had happened. Mitigating factor: His orange tan is natural.

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Send in the Clownz: Scariest People 2016 » FROM PAGE 13

and then feed him into a wood chipper.

The Orange County businessman also wanted Colombian hit men to murder the federal prosecutors and FBI agents involved in his case. At his early 2016 trial, Walthall—who espouses the dominant power of secret societies—offered mentally incompetent, barking-wild rants and won a deadlocked jury. A second jury in July didn’t buy it. Mitigating factor: The Illuminati strikes again!

27. CERTIFIED TIRE & SERVICE CENTERS INC.

Prosecutors this month forced a $1.4 million consumer-protection settlement against Jeffrey Darrow’s Certified Tire business after undercover investigators repeatedly took already-inspected vehicles to his shops and were charged for unperformed or unnecessary repairs.

Darrow didn’t admit to any wrongdoing, but it was déjà vu all over again: In 2008, the SoCal businessman paid a $550,000 settlement for alleged deceptive practices in Orange, Riverside and San Bernardino counties during the prior six years. Mitigating factor: Certified advertises it “won’t be undersold.”

28. LYNN SCHOTT

You can’t underestimate the lack of trust Orange County Republican Party tive EE feasnd food R F r ties us fo Join ow activi 6pm! t h s ing a pre start s k c u tr on kelet the S ina t e e tr M La Ca Lady , and get f l herse ! e a selfi Perla Batalla

powerbrokers felt for Lynn Schott during her 2012 Irvine City Council run. It’s likely a Schott victory would’ve given the GOP control of the city two years earlier than its 2014 takeover. But party bosses refused to endorse her, and while we’re not accustomed to praising those guys, their suspicions were right. Skip ahead to the present: Schott, an ultra-right-wing conservative, publicly backed Melissa Fox in this year’s council election. Fox isn’t just a hardcore lefty; she’s a close ally with Larry Agran, the liberal icon who brought Irvine countless ethical scandals.

Mitigating factor: We finally don’t have to listen to retiring Beth Krom, Agran’s other protégé, screech incoherently from the council dais.

29. OAK CANYON PARK

For nature, this stretch of sylvan beauty next to Irvine Lake is a regional jewel.

But as a place to hold all-day festivals—as it has increasingly become this decade—it makes Altamont seem as well-organized as a night at the Hollywood Bowl. Consider what happened in August after the Day N Night hip-hop festival: no cellphone reception, massive dehydration, and lines stretching up to six hours to get out, which resulted in a bunch of car battery failures. Did millennials learn nothing from their Hootenanny-going older siblings? Mitigating factor: Being stuck in a canyon without any cellular service forces you to undergo a digital detox.

I 30. MARIO RODRIGUEZ

Rodriguez is the head of the Hispanic 100, a PAC that laughably tries to get more Latinos in Orange County to vote GOP, but really only succeeds in holding lavish fundraisers. He further ruined what little influence his group has by being the only California Latino on Trump’s Hispanic Advisory Committee—this despite last year signing an open letter alongside other Latino Republicans that they’d never support the candidate. Normally loquacious, he hasn’t uttered a word to the press since.

Mitigating factor: Mysteriously showed up at a Placentia City Council meeting this spring in support of marijuana dispensaries.

31. ARTHUR ROMAN

The Oak Forest, Illinois, police officer was arrested along with his brother and sister-in-law in February. Authorities claim Roman yelled, “What’s up, Obamabam?” at an Arab-American teen and his brother-in-law in Huntington Beach, while his brother stands accused of stabbing the teen, who recalled being left like “a fountain squirting blood.” A preliminary court date is set for Dec. 2; Roman was placed on administrative leave. Mitigating factor: If he’d shot the kids, Roman would be off by now.

LETTERS@OCWEEKLY.COM

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calendar *

fri/10/28 [SPECIAL EVENT]

Tickle Your Ears

Now Hear This Podcast Festival Nothing breaks up the onslaught of Top 40 pop songs like popping on a fun podcast. Simply download them on your phone and play them over your automobile’s speakers and you’ve got a nice little ear vacation. This weekend, some of the best on the interwebs are gathering at the Anaheim Marriott for the first Now Hear This Podcast Festival.

Experience live podcast performances, meet-and-greet opportunities, and fan-focused Q&A discussions as your favorites join together in this three-day experience. Featuring The Moth, Marc Maron of WTF and Scott Aukerman of Comedy Bang! Bang!, among others, as this festival will be the break your ears deserve while gifting your eyes something other than Trump bumper stickers to gaze upon.

Now Hear This Podcast Festival at Anaheim Marriott, 700 Convention Way, Anaheim; nowhearthisfest.com.

7:30 p.m.; also Sat.-Sun. $50-$280. —AMANDA PARSONS [NIGHTLIFE]

Back In Black Release the Bats

Break out the black leather, fishnet stockings, spiked collars and your darkest eyeliner for Release the Bats, Long Beach’s longest-running Goth club since 1998. Let your freak flag fly proudly at this intimate haunted club of horrors alongside DJs Dave Bats, Shane Dingbat, Gabe Reanimator, Frankenstein and Patrik Mata of Kommunity FK as they spin the best in Gothic and death-rock music.

Considering it’s Halloween weekend and Release the Bats’ 18th-anniversary party, expect the club’s occult wickedness to be out in full force. Costumes are encouraged, but black is obviously an unspoken must. Try your luck at the Adam Ant costume contest to win a pair of tickets to his show, but if cholo Goth is more your thing, Prayers tickets and posters are also up for grabs.

Release the Bats’ 18th-Anniversary Party at Que Sera, 1923 E. Seventh St., Long Beach, (562) 599-6170; www. facebook.com/releasethebatsclub. 9 p.m. $5. 21+.

—DENISE DE LA CRUZ

sat/10/29

sat/10/29

*

[PERFORMING ARTS]

Freaky Tikis

LAST CHANCE . . .

Gwen Stefani

After a much-ballyhooed and celebrated final season, Irvine Meadows will be no more. Who better to give the venue a proper send-off than Gwen Stefani? As a local artist who has graced the amphitheater stage (solo and with No Doubt) and been in the crowd, Stefani understands the historical significance of this final show and will likely leave fans with memories they’ll carry long after Irvine Meadows meets its wrecking ball. Also performing are Young the Giant, who also share a history with the venue, adding to the cachet that will make this a night to remember.

Gwen Stefani with Young the Giant at Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre, 8808 Irvine Center Dr., Irvine, (949) 855-8095; www.irvineamp.com.

7:30 p.m.; also Sun. $40-$6,069. —DANIEL KOHN

| OCWEEKLY.COM |

The Hula Girls and Fink Bombs once again headline the seasonal Curse of the Tiki extravaganza at Orange County’s most popular Polynesian hot spot, Don the Beachcomber.

Strut your stuff at this tropical tempest of a variety show, where go-go boys meet go-get-’em girls, with spotlight acts including Christopher Wonder’s “Glorious Mess of Magic,” “The Human Pin Cushion” Miss Maegan Machine, burlesque dancer Veronica Velvet, and prestidigitator of puppetry Rasputin’s Marionettes. It’s a world of oddities and bizarre bohemian beats, so don your freakiest Halloween threads and tie one on with the tikis—you might even walk home with a most peculiar prize.

Curse of the Tiki at Don the Beachcomber, 16278 Pacific Coast Hwy., Huntington Beach, (562) 592-1321; www. donthebeachcomber.com. 8 p.m. $20-$40. 21+. —SR DAVIES

PHOTO BY JAMIE NELSON

Curse of the Tiki

[CONCERT]

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| OCWEEKLY.COM | 16

sun/10/30 [HOLIDAY]

Wiggin’ Out

Halloween Wigged Out 5K Run When there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth. But if you’re the kind of person who can finish the Halloween Wigged Out 5K Run, you won’t care at all since you’ve got the endurance (and moraleboosting endorphins) to leave those classic, stumbling Romero zombies in the dust.

Runners are encouraged to put on a wig

after they strap on a FitBit, as this seasonally themed run travels through a pumpkin patch and offers tricks, treats, costume prizes, a diaper dash for the littlest monsters and lots more opportunity for Halloween hijinks at a reasonable velocity on a flat, paved course.

Run, jog, walk, trudge, crawl, shamble or scuttle—it’s your call. When it comes to Halloween, there’s no wrong way to get moving.

Halloween Wigged Out 5K Run at Irvine Valley College, 5500 Irvine Center Dr., Irvine; itzabouttime.com/halloween-5k.

8:30 a.m. $25-$40. —CHRIS ZIEGLER

[PETS]

Happy Howl-oween!

Yappy Hour

If there’s anything better than dressing up in a fun, creative costume for Halloween, it’s getting your best friend to dress up with you. No, we’re not talking about your human friends—we mean your dogs! Before you parade yourself in a fantastical get-up on Halloween night, take this opportunity to show off your pups for some tricks

and treats of their own at VLVT Lounge’s Yappy Hour lunch. Dogs in costume will be eligible to compete for the titles of Cutest Canine or, should you decide to match with your furry friend, Best Dog & Owner Duo,” along with drink and food specials a-plenty.

At this party where cuteness and Halloween spirit abound, there’ll be no shortage of fangtastic fun for pets and humans alike.

Yappy Hour at VLVT Lounge, 416 W. Fourth St., Santa Ana, (714) 664-0063; www.velvetoc.com. 4 p.m. Free. 21+.

—AIMEE MURILLO

mon/10/31 [NIGHTLIFE]

Boos and Booze

Halloweekend Pub Crawl What’s better than getting drunk with a bunch of ghosts and ghouls on Halloween?

Not much. This year, various Baja Sharkeez bars will host the Hallow’s Eve pub crawl, and drinks are priced at buy one, get a second one for a quarter—yes, you read that correctly. Plus, there’s a costume contest with a $1,000 award and music flowing until the wee hours of the morn. So scrounge those couch cushions for extra change, get your group costumes in sync, and be sure to get your wristbands early for free entry into participating bars. And remember, this is a crawl, so DO NOT drink and drive!

Halloweekend Pub Crawl at Baja Sharkeez, 114 McFadden Place, Newport Beach, (949) 673-0292; pubcrawls.com. 5 p.m.

Wristbands, $4.95. 21+. —MARY CARREON

tue/11/01 [CONCERT]

Sorrow No More Bad Religion and Against Me!

If you need your punk fix for the month of November, you can start with tonight’s show. SoCal favorites Bad Religion bring their 37 years of experience to Santa Ana, where you’ll also get the chance to watch wonderful Laura Jane Grace from Against Me! perform on the very same night.

Between those two bands alone, there are enough years of punk rock to get an AARP card, so come hear some of the smartest punks ever delve into political and social justice issues just a week before the election.

If you don’t go, there will surely be sorrow.

Bad Religion, Against Me! and Dave Hause at the Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc. com. 8 p.m. $30. —JOSH CHESLER

thu/11/03

[CONCERT]

Cautious Rhythms Very Be Careful

Anyone who has ever been to a Very Be Careful show knows that the only things that move back and forth more than your hips are your eyes, as you scan the crowd while trying not to spill your drink on yourself. You won’t find a much better show for people-watching while the tequila flows than the accordion of Ricardo “Ricky G” Guzman and the bass of his brother Arturo “Brickems” Guzman as they drive the slinky, sexy rhythms of LA’s supreme, Colombian vallenato band that have been rumbling the dance floors of the Latin club scene since ’98.

Throw in some costumes and the blood-red Virgin of Guadalupe vibes of Alex’s Bar, and this is the kind of Día de los Muertos party any hot-blooded club-goer would live for.

Very Be Careful with Son Del Centro and DJ King Steadybeat at Alex’s Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; www.alexsbar.com. 8 p.m. $10. 21+.

—NATE JACKSON

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LADY FULL OF GRACE

‘Virgin of Guadalupe: Images In Colonial Mexico’

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WE’RE GONNA BE OKAY

‘Softer World’

As its name suggests, artist Laura Berger’s “Softer World” presents an escape from the monotony and harshness of this modern world with acrylic and gouache paintings that are not only pleasing to the eye, but also soothing for the spirit.

Created out of a need to shield herself from recent global atrocities brought on by violence and hate, Berger’s paintings, which take on a minimalist style and soft color palette, bring humans and nature together in the same space as a reminder to unplug every once in a while and reconnect with the earth. As a result, we, too, take on more positive vibrations and are brought back to an inner peace that helps us cope with other negativities we face, personal and otherwise. Invite yourself in and check out this calming art show for a spiritual recharge.

“Softer World” at Artists Republic, 1174 S. Coast Hwy., Laguna Beach, (949) 9880603; artists-republic.com. 6 p.m. Through Dec. 31. Free. —AIMEE MURILLO [THEATER]

What’s Opera, Doc? Lend Me a Tenor

Ken Ludwig’s comedic play Lend Me a Tenor probably could have been a great film during the 1930s and ’40s, the heyday of madcap, screwball romantic comedies, worthy of direction by the likes of Preston Sturges or Howard Hawks (or, if we’re really being wishful, perhaps it could have been made into a Marx Brothers film?).

When a hot-blooded, famous Italian opera singer passes out suddenly before a highstakes performance of Otello, it sets off a chain of panic and chaos among a string of relations: girlfriends, wives, assistants, even wealthy members of the elite. Directed here by the venerable Art Manke, Ludwig’s Broadway sensation is sure to be a hit among local audiences, too.

Lend Me a Tenor at La Mirada Theatre for the Performing Arts, 14900 La Mirada Blvd., La Mirada, (562) 944-9081; lamiradatheatre.com. 7:30 p.m. Through Nov. 13. $20-$70. —AIMEE MURILLO

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For about 500 years, she has been an object of devotion and a source of inspiration to the spiritual and secular alike, an ur-mother figure of compassion and comfort, held high by la gente, sanctified by the Catholic church and embraced by liberationists. La Virgen is a ubiquitous symbol, embraced by monarchs and humble farmworkers, tattooed and graffitied and reproduced everywhere, and, in the Bowers’ magnificent show “Virgin of Guadalupe: Images In Colonial Mexico,” celebrated in multiple, if mostly traditional, forms. Here, there are native and fine art representations by esteemed and anonymous artists in stone, wood, oil and more, from statuettes to huge canvases. Make the pilgrimage, but please bring her no candles or gifts, as this is a museum show and not a basilica, though the reverence and joy at being in her presence might, as it did for Juan Diego in Mexico City, be felt by visitors.

“Virgin of Guadalupe: Images In Colonial Mexico” at the Bowers Museum, 2002 N. Main St., Santa Ana, (714) 5673600; bowers.org. 10 a.m.Through Jan. 29, 2017. $22-$25; children younger than 12, free. —ANDREW TONKOVICH

WARMING CIRCLE BY LAURA BERGER

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HOLEINTHEWALL

» GUSTAVO ARELLANO

Chinese Chowdown BEST FOODS 2626 Dupont Dr., Irvine, (949) 600-2898.

J

Where the Wood Is Good

BRIAN FEINZIMER

Noah Blom’s Restaurant Marin is a throwback to a more wholesome, simpler time

BY EDWIN GOEI

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his crackling wood-fired oven. Blom’s not making it easy for himself, even when he’s just frying an egg.

I realized then that none of this is a gimmick. Blom is the real deal. In a Los Angeles Times article, he said that cooking “got so modern, and I had to retreat from it. I didn’t get into food to be a chemist. I got into it to simply make and serve food.”

And that he does. What he serves at Restaurant Marin is perhaps the best argument that we would be better off moving away from the molecular-gastronomic tendencies of Adrià and toward Apicius. Blom’s cooking is old-school, the kind that revels in chicken pot pies and country-skillet-style breakfasts. With the latter, it’s as though he’s appealing directly to the Ron Swansons in our souls.

Order the greaseless, golden-fried chicken breast, and you’ll discover it comes with plenty of gravy covering half the chicken and smothering the lower part of a gigantic biscuit. On top of it all, Blom adds one of those perfectly fried eggs.

Then there’s Blom’s chicken pot pie, which is worthy of a Garden & Gun cover.

The top of it is laced with intricate latticework that obviously took a lot of time to construct. And when you eat it, the crust bursts with butter, and the filling tastes as if it’s a distillation of everything that’s good and curative in chicken soup.

I’ve tried half of everything on his “Bites to Share” menu, and though some of the dishes may sound uninspired, with enchiladas and crab cakes among them, it’s Blom’s expert execution that makes

the difference. The enchiladas are fuming and draped in a green chile sauce that actually tastes and burns of the chile. The crab cakes are almost entirely composed of crabmeat and encased in a perfect sphere of breading—the best I’ve had this year. And the Swedish meatballs that swam in an addictive sauce made with brandy and cream are cooked just until the outsides firm up, but the insides are still as rare as steak tartare.

Everything else Blom cooks seems to rebuke the trendy. Order the avocado toast, and you don’t get a piece of toast so much as a tall, fluffy brioche topped with sliced avocado, wilted spinach, onions reduced to sugar, goat cheese and an egg.

And yes, the brioches were baked fresh in that oven.

If I had any real critique, it’s that the restaurant feels cramped. The awkwardly shaped blue banquettes also happen to clash with the French boudoir design elements of crystal chandeliers and distressed mirrors. And some might say that a meal at Marin can be very costly, especially if you get the lobster hash, which is more expensive than it needs to be. But I’m apt to give him a break on his prices: Blom and Restaurant Marin are a throwback to a time when quality and integrity meant something—and time travel isn’t cheap.

RESTAURANT MARIN 3321 Hyland Ave., Ste. G, Costa Mesa, (949) 402-3974; www.restaurantmarin.com.

Open daily, 9 a.m.-midnight. Meal for two, $50-$80, food only. Full bar.

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oah Blom, who now has two restaurants at Costa Mesa’s SOCO, cooks everything with wood—and I do mean everything. The four-layered cakes? Baked in an oven with a crackling fire at the back.

The fries? Cooked in a cast-iron pot heated by burning logs. That stack of firewood leaning against the building? That’s Blom’s only fuel source. There are, as far as I know, no gas hookups, no heat lamps and certainly no microwaves. If I didn’t know Blom used to work with Boulud at New York’s Restaurant Daniel, I’d think he was Amish.

When he opened ARC, it was Blom’s insistence on the primitive that drew me in, even if it sounded gimmicky. Later, when he opened Restaurant Marin, it was his no-tipping policy that was talked up, though Blom abandoned it after two months in favor of lower menu prices.

But it’s the chef’s Luddite-like aversion to cooking with gas or electricity that’s more remarkable than anything. Restaurant Marin, after all, is a diner that serves all-day breakfasts, including Benedicts, doughnut holes and fluffy egg soufflés, in addition to tacos, sandwiches, and full-on dinner entrées such as steak frites and an excellent pan-crisped salmon.

With ARC now a success, Blom certainly doesn’t have anything to prove. If he’d installed a short-order griddle and a Frialator at Restaurant Marin, no one would’ve called him out on it. Yet there he was, shoving cast-iron skillet after cast-iron skillet into the gaping hole of

amboree Promenade has never been the most exciting of Orange County’s shopping plazas. Two previous spots I reviewed here couldn’t last; its location is awkwardly placed and never seems to have enough parking. You know it’s behind the times when the most successful tenants are the Melting Pot and Daily Grill, two chains that excited crowds back in the early 2000s and don’t exactly attract millennials.

But the times, to quote a Nobel laureate, are a-changing. Across the street, Boardwalk OC is taking rise as two nine-story office buildings, and Jamboree Promenade is upping its food game. The excellent Annapoorna Indian Cuisine is opening a smaller location here in the coming months, and a whatever Vietnamese spot was recently replaced by Best Foods, a great place for those of ustedes still stuck on orange chicken and egg foo young when it comes to Chinese cuisine.

It’s one of those great restaurants with dishes for mainstream tastes (a whole chow mein menu, a small dim sum selection, barbecue skewers), a buffet for the adventurous (a dish one time looked like tripe in chile sauce—YUM), badly translated dishes that undersell their worth (Hunan Spicy Sour Ricenoodle is a spectacular soup of beef, burdock, four types of chiles and a bunch of other veggies—see you in spring, pho!), and a whole bunch of items in Chinese script the rest of us wasichu can’t understand.

I’ve yet to have a bad meal at Best Foods, but its most exciting feature are dishes from Xi’An, the capital of Shaanxi Province—a foodway well-known in the San Gabriel Valley but just getting attention here. Its most famous meal is the yangrou paomo, which finds pita bread boiled into a lamb soup—as hearty as it sounds.

What Best Foods calls “Chinese Hamburger” is really roujiamo, which eschews condiments and veggies in favor of meat, meat, meat. And the sweetbread soup is the best offal dish in Orange County already, tangy and milky and delicious.

You’ve got a winner, Jamboree Promenade! As hopefully future Nobel laureate RuPaul says, don’t fuck it up!

MO N TH X X–X X , 2 014

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DENISE DE LA CRUZ

Turkey, Salvi-Style Pan con pollo at El Divino Salvador Del Mundo

P

an con pavo, or pan con chumpe, is a traditional dish served around the holidays in El Salvador. It simply translates to “bread with turkey,” but if you can’t wait until Thanksgiving, then stop by El Divino Salvador Del Mundo for a delicious chicken equivalent, pan con pollo. Save yourself the drive to Pico-Union in Los Angeles and visit South Whittier instead.

The Salvi eatery is family-owned and -manned, which is evident as you hear the family’s matron pounding masa for pupusas while her husband and son tend to customers. As delicious as the pupusas and banana-leaf-wrapped tamales are, far better is the much-rarer pan con pollo.

EATTHISNOW » DENISE DE LA CRUZ

The savory, gently spiced sandwich is made with a crispy yet soft bolillo smothered in crema salvadoreaña (think sour cream but less tangy), topped with chunks of seasoned chicken, curtido, cucumber and tomato slices. A ramekin of spiced chicken broth accompanies the Salvadoran sammie for your dipping pleasure, too. ¡Buen provecho, vos!

EL DIVINO SALVADOR DEL MUNDO 13800 Leffingwell Rd., Whittier, (562) 944-2244.

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I

’ve said many times in these pages that I don’t like beer, but I’m trying, fam. I’m trying to broaden my palate, and I think I’ve determined that I like lagers. I do like Negra Modelo, and I just found another I enjoyed: Golden Road Brewing’s Oktoberfest Märzen.

It’s one of the first beers to come from its Anaheim location, and it’s GOOD.

Märzens are apparently a Bavarian lager—I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about when I talk beer, but I know good, and Golden Road’s take is great: light, malty and with a sweet finish. I got drunk off it when my team recently lost at the first OC Weekly/ Play Pop Quiz trivia tournament, whose finals

were at Golden Road’s upcoming brewhouse in Anaheim. Gracias for hosting us, for helping us with the prizes and for the Märzen.

And for everyone else: It’s available for a limited time only, if it’s not already done. If it is? Drink anything else here.

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COURTESY BEACHWOOD

I

t took almost two years, but Beachwood Blendery’s admittedly nerdy quest to create Belgian-style lambics in the middle of downtown Long Beach is finally showing returns. Earlier this month, the tart, funky beer-producing offshoot of beer-geek-famous Beachwood BBQ and Brewing won its first medal at the Great American Beer Festival; the brewpub has already twice been named Best Brewpub In the Country and last year was crowned Best Brewpub In the World at the World Beer Cup. Now, despite more than 70 entries in the most-crowded competition in the festival’s 30-year history, the Blendery took home a silver in the Belgian-Style Lambic or Sour Ale category for its one-year lambic, Chaos Is a Friend of Mine.

Chaos is a big deal for a few reasons.

Not only does it add to the Beachwood family’s already-stellar reputation for excellence, but its bottling also made it one of the few beers in the country to be made with strict adherence to the same brewing and blending practices observed by traditional sour-beer producers in Belgium, where the lambic (and its three-year-aged cousin, the gueuze) style originated.

Lambics and gueuzes are barrel-aged, spontaneously fermented golden ales that are some of the most historic and highly sought-after beers in the world.

Because of the terroir of the yeast there (yup, just like wine, beer can have terroir), Belgian-style lambics are one of a kind and only a dozen or so brands make it right, from Cantillon to 3 Fonteinen to Boon. In the U.S., an uptick in sour beer acceptance (either you like the taste of tart liquid or you don’t) and reverence for the Belgian OGs has led many breweries to go “wild,” as spontaneously fermenting

LONGBEACHLUNCH » SARAH BENNETT

beer is known. Add the love of a cheesy, barnyard-smelling yeast strain called brettanomyces into the mix, and you have hundreds of breweries churning out a range of takes on American-style sour ales that are as acidic, fruity, dry and delicious as Belgian ones but don’t exactly conform to the laws of the lambic style.

The Blendery is hoping to change all that. With Ryan Fields (award-winning brewer and barrel whisperer from Lost Abbey and Pizza Port San Clemente) in charge of brewing and blending operations, he’s turning the renovated 100-yearold brick building into a place where Long Beach-style lambics can be made for decades to come. The Propagation Series of beers that were released over the past year as this process was, well, propagated was crucial to creating the award-winning Chaos Is a Friend of Mine. But from here on out, it’s all about the lambics, and in a few years, we will be able to taste a locally made gueuze, which will blend one-, twoand three-year-aged lambics into a grand cuvee. Keep an eye out for special bottle releases along the way, including fruited beers such as the salted plum Umeboshi (a gose) and the upcoming Dia de los Mangos, which is basically Chaos aged on mangos and tamarind, just like your favorite Mexican candy.

Long live the Long Beach lambic!

BEACHWOOD BLENDERY 247 Long Beach Blvd., Long Beach, (562) 4364020; beachwoodbbq.com/blendery.html.

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The Real Birth of Punk

COURTESY OF AMAZON STUDIOS / MAGNOLIA PICTURES | © DANNY FIELDS C/O GILLIAM MCCAIN

Iggy Pop finally gets his due in Jim Jarmusch’s Gimme Danger

W

cal influences including R&B, blues, jazz, experimental, and psychedelic rock, years later inspiring future bands such as the Sex Pistols, the Damned, the Dead Boys, Bad Brains, the White Stripes and the Clash to take the stage with their own raw power.

In Jarmusch’s summation, the Stooges are the “greatest rock & roll band ever.”

Gimme Danger takes on a straightforward narrative approach in documenting the history of the group, from their salad days in Ann Arbor, Michigan, to their inclusion in the University of Michigan’s radicalism to their various break ups to their re-evaluation as rock & roll legends, being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and reuniting in the early 2000s.

Themes of exploitation and distrust of the music industry pervade the film, as the man born Jim Osterberg details his interactions with record-company execs who sought to exploit his popularity. Funny and relevant archival footage from classic films and television shows fill the gaps of lost footage or photographs. Sometimes it works, especially when chopped up in quick cuts to match the snarling fuzz guitar that opens “I Wanna Be Your Dog.”

Over time, though, it becomes a bit grating.

Despite access to the legendary members onscreen (some for the last time—both Asheton brothers, Scott and Ron, as well as saxophone player Steve Mackay have passed away since filming their interviews), the film supplies matter-of-factly reported details of events with little thought or analysis about them, creating more questions than answers. Did the Ashetons ever feel forgotten in that gap of time between the Stooges’ last break up in 1974 and their Coachella reunion in 2003, when Pop launched a successful solo career? What about Pop’s recorded stints in an asylum and rehab clinics after the band’s first break up in 1971? There are plenty of stories about drug use and meetings with famous people (the John Wayne story was particularly hilarious), but those looking for the most lurid anecdotes would be better off reading Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain’s seminal oral history on punk, Please Kill Me. Where Gimme Danger succeeds most is providing diehard Stooges fans with insider knowledge on the development of their sound, followed by rare audio from recording sessions and concert footage of Pop

prowling onstage in the prime of his youth, his wild blue eyes shining bright. Pop hasn’t lost any of his charisma and humor and is a delight to watch and listen to. Plus, listening to the other Stooges—the Ashetons, John Williamson, Mackay, and temporary bassist Mike Watt—is a rare pleasure.

Film-lovers and fanatics of Jarmusch’s oeuvre might not be as crazy about Gimme Danger, but rock enthusiasts will appreciate being spoiled with seeing Iggy Pop be interviewed about his life and the Stooges.

In a year that saw the loss of three of the biggest rock icons of the 20th century— Lemmy, Bowie and Prince—an homage to Pop’s influence and legacy while still alive feels especially crucial. But ask Iggy yourself where he fits in now, and he’ll give you a long list at the film’s conclusion of who he doesn’t fit in with: glamorous people, radicals, hip-hop-heads, alternative crowds, artsy types, etc. “I don’t want to fit in with anyone but myself,” Pop says.

There’s nothing more punk rock than that.

AMURILLO@OCWEEKLY.COM GIMME DANGER was directed by Jim Jarmusch.

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herever you believe the sound of punk originated from, you cannot disagree that the primal energy generally associated with punk performance was invented by Iggy Pop in the late 1960s. Pop’s crazed vocals, public nudity, self-inflicted wounds, aggression toward the audience (he’d often flip off and berate the crowd) and creation of the stage dive divided the barrier between performer and audience in an era when even “rebellious” peace and love music was commodified and controlled for the masses.

As innovators of a new sound and musical approach, at odds with the counterculture model of hippies and Woodstock, where did Iggy and the Stooges fit in?

In Jim Jarmusch’s documentary Gimme Danger, the answer to that question is nowhere—at least not back then. The film opens at the band’s breaking point in 1971, when commercial failure, audience violence, excessive drug use and being dropped from their label, Elektra Records, led to the Stooges’ first dissolution. But as the film proves, the group were ahead of their time, combining a myriad of musi-

BY AIMEE MURILLO

M ONT H X X–XX , 20 14

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film»reviews|screenings

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Sad Things Happen

BY MATT COKER SPEAK UP, NATION!

FATHOM EVENTS

Community Center, 24602 Aliso Creek Rd., Laguna Niguel, (925) 310-4242.

Tues., 7 p.m. $15.

God the Father. It’s a documentary/ re-enactment blend about Michael Franzese, a high-ranking member of the East Coast mob who eventually found God and changed his ways. He refused to testify against his associates and survived a 10-year prison stretch and mafia death sentence. Well, so far, anyway, because he’s set to appear in a bonus one-on-one interview with Harvest Crusade pastor Greg Laurie as part of this event. AMC Woodbridge 5, 4626 Barranca Pkwy., Irvine, and Regency Charter Centre Cinemas, 7822 Warner Ave., Huntington Beach; www.tugg. com/events/michael-franzese-presentsgod-the-father. Tues., 7 p.m. $12-$15.

Newtown Live: A National Conversation. CNN anchor Chris Cuomo moderates a live town-hall discussion on gun violence and what communities should do about it with panelists who include survivors of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings, parents of victims and hospital officials. AMC Orange 30, (714) 769-4288; also at AMC Tustin Legacy at the District, 2457 Park Ave., Tustin, (714) 258-7036; Cinemark at the Pike Theaters, Long Beach, (800) 967-1932; Cinemark Century Stadium 25, Orange, (714) 532-9558; Cinemark Century 20 Huntington Beach, (714) 373-4573; Edwards Aliso Viejo Stadium 20, 26701 Aliso Creek Rd., Aliso Viejo, (844) 462-7342; Edwards Irvine Spectrum 21, 65 Fortune Dr., Irvine, (844) 4627342; and Edwards Long Beach Stadium 26, 7501 E. Carson, Long Beach, (844) 462-7342. Wed., 7:30 p.m. $15.

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topher Guest’s future wife. Art Theatre, 2025 E. Fourth St., Long Beach; www.HalloweenMovies.com or www.

SpectiCast.com. Fri. & Mon. Call for times and ticket prices. Also Sat. at Cinemark at the Pike Theaters, 99 S. Pine Ave., Long Beach, (800) 967-1932 (10:30 p.m. $8.75-$12.25); Cinemark Century Stadium 25, 1701 W. Katella Ave., Orange, (714) 532-9558; and Cinemark Century 20 Huntington Beach, 7777 Edinger Ave., Huntington Beach, (714) 373-4573 (9 p.m. $6.25-$12.50).

And Mon. at the Frida Cinema, 305 E. Fourth St., Santa Ana; thefridacinema. org. Call for time and ticket prices.

The Rocky Horror Picture Zombie Show. Note the title renaming by the Frida, as zombies are all the rage these days (channel surf if you don’t believe me; go ahead, I’ll wait . . .) and zombies populate the live shadow cast K.A.O.S. Don’t dream it—eat it (brains).

The Frida Cinema; thefridacinema.org.

Sat., 11:30 p.m. $8-$10.

The Monster Squad. Five classic film and literary monsters invade a small town looking for a lost amulet that will help them rule the world—but not if those meddling kids on the Monster Squad stop ’em first. The Frida Cinema; thefridacinema.org. Sun., 11 a.m. $1-$5.

Beyond Measure. From the makers of Race to Nowhere, the 2009 documentary that called for reforming the U.S. education system, comes this follow-up demand for public schools that value personal growth over test scores, inquiry over mimicry and passion over rankings. You’ll be introduced to some of the schools reimagining education. Sea Country

warm—I mean, climate change/ God’s wrath comes from two Academy Award winners. Director Fisher Stevens’ cameras follow producer Leonardo DiCaprio to five continents and the Arctic, where the actor speaks with scientists, activists and ordinary folks to not only lay out the problems, but also offer everyday solutions. Chapman University, Hashinger Science Center 150, Irvine Lecture Hall, 1 University Dr., Orange; events.chapman.edu. Thurs., Nov. 3, 7 p.m. Free.

OctO b er 28 - N Ovem ber 0 3, 201 6

La Passion de Jeanne d’Arc. If you can’t make the Bowers’ Saturday event, you can see Carl Theodor Dreyer’s film the night before with George Sarah, his string quartet and vocalists performing Sarah’s score live. Soka Performing Arts Center, 1 University Dr., Aliso Viejo, (949) 480-4278; www. soka.edu/pac. Fri., 8 p.m. Free, but a ticket obtained before the show is required due to limited seating. Soka Bistro serves an all-you-can-eat buffet from 5:30 to 7 p.m. for $11.25.

Nosferatu. F.W. Murnau’s silent masterpiece of 1922 is considered one of the greatest horror films ever made.

The L.A. Opera Off-Grand presentation includes the live accompaniment of a score composed, curated and conducted by Matthew Aucoin and performed by the opera’s orchestra.

Chapman University, Musco Center for the Arts, 1 University Dr., Orange, (844) 626-8726; muscocenter.org. Fri., 7:30 p.m. $25-$60.

To Kill a Mockingbird. Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck) defending a black man (Brock Peters) falsely accused of murdering a white woman in the Deep South is seen through the eyes of the attorney’s daughter, Scout (Mary Badham). The Strawberry Bowl Amphitheater, 12762 Main St., Garden Grove, (714) 928-3894. Fri., 8 p.m. $10.

Halloween. John Carpenter’s 1978 horror classic is about Michael Myers, who on Halloween night in 1963, when he was 6, stabbed his sister to death. After sitting in a mental hospital for 15 years, he escapes and returns to Haddonfield to kill, becoming particularly obsessed with Chris-

OWI. The title of Harvey Kertland’s documentary, which is making its local premiere, used to stand for Ordinary Women Inc. before being changed to Outreach to the World Inc. Shot on location in Kenya in 2015, the film depicts the amazing impact that ordinary people are having on the orphans of Kiminini. The Frida Cinema; thefridacinema.org. Thurs., Nov. 3. Reception, 6:30 p.m.; screening, 7 p.m. Free, but donations gladly accepted.

Before the Flood. Documentary on the profound changes happening around the world due to global

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| classifieds | music | culture | film | food | calendar | feature | the county | contents OctOb er 2 8- N Ove mbe r 03, 20 1 6

We’re Part Purple

» AIMEE MURILLO

The human condition explained in OCMA’s ‘Make Your Own Friends’

BY DAVE BARTON

W

DON’T DO THIS AND DRIVE

STILL FROM CREATIVE IDEAS FOR EVERY SEASON BY BRIAN BRESS

intriguing. I just wish he didn’t act in his own pieces because his fall-back on walking speech impediments as characterization indicates he’s a better director than he is a performer.

Bress’ video paintings work the best: There’s no overt narrative, just framed monitors with the art playing within.

Ridley-Tree Sleeper # 1 (Nick and Brian) is Cubism brought to life. As with those moments in Pageant of the Masters in which the performers slot into position to create art masterpieces in full view of the audience, the mask shifts and tilts, stretching an arm or cupping a chin pensively, smashing the boundaries between painting and performance art, while losing neither medium’s magic. Also dazzling is 370 Cover, as sections are cut out from behind a grid of parallel and vertical black-and-white lines slyly referencing Sol LeWitt’s Wall Drawing #370. Once a large enough space is carved out, a geometric mask tries to poke through, but it’s generally a different shape than the area cut out, continuing the idea of an isolated outsider attempting to break through, but still unable to fit in.

Puppets on display are almost never as interesting as when they’re occupied by the puppeteer, so Bress’ costumes by themselves don’t have the same level of personality as when we see them in action. It’s easy to admire the build on his Cousin It/Yeti hybrid Whitewalker (costume), a suit made of bamboo beads

on wire, Polyurethane foam, latex and leather, but when it’s filmed walking toward the camera in slow motion (Whitewalker #1), each bead vibrates, sways, twirls and flips in a mesmerizing wave. Beadman (costume), its multicolored wooden pellets loosely stitched to a bodysuit of some of the same materials as Whitewalker (costume), gets an approving glance, and then a move on to the next exhibit, but everything changes watching a performer jumping up and down while wearing it [Beadman (Parker)], the beads coming loose, bouncing or rolling around the floor as they lift into the air and land, an anti-inertia study in motion.

While Bress’ ADHD attempt at philosophical discussion can wear thin at times, the questions he asks and ideas he broaches, however sloppy, are hardly cookie-cutter. There’s no closing salvo to send you off as you exit; it’s just the onslaught of his images floating in your head as you try to sort through them.

You’re alone, left to your own devices to make sense of the senseless—but you’re used to that, right?

“BRIAN BRESS: MAKE YOUR OWN FRIENDS” at Orange County Museum of Art, 850 San Clemente Dr., Newport Beach, (949) 759-1122; ocma.net. Open Wed.- Thurs. & Sat.-Sun., 11 a.m.-5 p.m.; Fri., 11 a.m.8 p.m. Through Dec. 4. $7.50-$10; children younger than 12, free; Fri., free.

T

im Burton’s 1993 animated film The Nightmare Before Christmas hasn’t lost any of its spooky charm in recent years. Girls and boys of every age love to revisit the town of Halloween, whether by catching its rerelease in theaters every October or wearing licensed merchandise with the face of Jack Skellington the Pumpkin King emblazoned over it year-round. Hell, even I have the original soundtrack saved in my Spotify playlist and probably know the words to every song.

Now fans have another reason to celebrate, as the Harveys seatbelt-bag company expands its limited-edition line of purses paying homage to this treasured flick. While it isn’t the first such Disney collaboration for the Santa Ana-based brand, the new collection is modernized with current styles and comes in two different themes to match characters Jack Skellington and Sally the rag doll. The Jack Skellington purses are black and white with tiny Jack heads, bats and bone designs, while the Sally purses come in the muted color tones and patchwork pattern reminiscent of her iconic attire.

Each purse comes in multiple styles, including Harveys’ mainstay crossbody, streamline tote bag, handbag, clutch and wallet options, which are boxy-looking and fit the material. But there’s also the park-hopper purse, a round drawstring pouch, a style that seems to be all the rage right now. It’s good to know Melanie and Dana Harvey have been keeping tabs on trendy accessories these days. I’m also a fan of the Sally-themed handbag in the Lola style, with its playful ruffle folding across the outside and the handles made of braided seatbelts—too cute!

This collection will be officially available via the Harveys website (shopharveys.com) Halloween day, so make sure to stock up on your favorite items because, deep down, you know you and your new purse are simply meant to be. . . .

AMURILLO@OCWEEKLY.COM

JESSICA RICE MCNEW

ONLINE » aMORE OCWEEKLY.COM

| OCWEEKLY.COM |

e are a malleable people.

We adjust the face we present to the world, change our mind or take our life in a different direction whenever we’re dissatisfied, but it’s always a zerosum situation. Change requires introspection and alone time, as well as the potential loss of those around us who are unwilling to support the new individual that arrives from that awareness. The Play-Doh Effect—add a little red or a little blue, and suddenly we’re purple—and its lonely road is just one of the themes of multimedia artist Brian Bress’ one man show, curated

by Whitney Tassie and Nora Burnett Abrams, at Orange County Museum of Art. Even its title, ”Make Your Own Friends,” references an inventive solitude.

In the 2014 video Organizing the Physical Evidence (Purple), two block-headed figures shift ovoid shapes around on their blank canvas faces. The costumes have no eye holes, so they’re doing this blind, their arrangement and rearrangement a Dali/ Picasso mashup. As Bress superimposes more hands in a Kaliesque effect, the video retains its mood of slow, constant chaos until the two figures wipe each other’s face clean . . . but then the loop begins again. Rock Cowboy, a monologue from a pile of rocks wearing a Stetson, urges audiences to be empathetic, imagining what life would be like as a kitsch household item. Being Bamboo’s costumed narrator breaks down the different ways the wood can be utilized, implying that what appears as one thing can easily become something else.

The elderly female protagonist in Creatives Ideas for Every Season drives through a desolate green-screen landscape, having an existential crisis, as her passengers change every few minutes.

Bress makes an appearance as a bucktoothed car mechanic popping up out of her dashboard who proceeds to read her an ineffectual repair manual and give tips on holiday displays, but the ensuing babble/conversation indicates that despite the help, she’s still on her own. In Status Report, a boxer punches at a vaginal Rorschach inkblot, Tom Cruise’s Lestat from Interview With a Vampire asks people to have his baby, a coal miner discusses the difference between a job and a hobby, and an astronaut cruises through space, ending the video singing the chorus of Elvis Costello’s “Radio Silence.”

Not much of this makes sense—and it’s too long—but Bress’ attempts to make painted environments come alive while reinterpreting vaguely familiar movie images into performance art is

Bag of Bones

MO N TH X X–X X , 2 014

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TRENDZILLA

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culture»art|stage|style

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twenty-one plus

#holidaycheersoc

*infants okay

December

2pm–5pm (1pm vip hour) [av] irvine

11th 2016

orange County’s

best hOliday party!

Live Music by:

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this event benefits:

food & dessert samples • booze & beverage tastings • live music • LoTS of vendor shopping

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music»artists|sounds|shows

Good Fortune

Grammy-winning La Santa Cecilia is musically blessed

BY GABRIEL SAN ROMÁN

I

f any song could pinpoint La Santa Cecilia in this moment in time, it’s “Here We Go Again,” a poignant lament of a musician’s life always on the move off Buenaventura, the band’s latest, finest album. “Standing on the edge of time, wondering who we are supposed to be,” Marisol “La Marisoul” Hernandez pensively sings. “Watching all the days go by, feeling like we’ve only just begun.”

The wondrous travels, duets and awards the band experienced since forming out of Placita Olvera nearly a decade ago has come like a whirlwind. Recently, Marisoul, requinto/accordionist Jose “Pepe” Carlos, percussionist Miguel “Oso” Ramirez and bassist Alex Bendaña sit in a West Hollywood office busily planning out all the details for a month-long tour that will have them living out of their suitcases. “I remember being in Oso’s living room—because that’s where we would rehearse—and we just wanted to play and do everything!” Marisoul says.

“We had intentions to be where we are now; we just had no idea what is was going to look like or how it was going to happen,” Oso adds.

Back in 2008, they were Latino twentysomethings from East LA mesmerizing Latin Alternative lovers with their infectious blend of norteños, cumbias, boleros and even some klezmer! Marisoul exuded charisma, taking the stage wearing bright-pink tutus and retro horn-rimmed glasses. Her voice would range from booming to raspy to sultry. La Santa Cecilia quickly made a name for themselves during Mucho Wednesdays at La Cita, a popular downtown LA bar, and released a six-song, self-titled EP with painting parties to decorate each cover.

Two years later, La Santa Cecilia signed with Grammy award-winning producer Sebastian Krys’ new music-entertainment company and recorded Noche Y Citas; in 2011, they earned a Latin Grammy nomination for lead single “La Negra.”

The band signed to major label Universal Latin in 2013 and won a Grammy award the following year. “We wanted to be that band from LA,” says Oso, rattling off a list of iconic acts including the Doors and Ozomatli. “We wanted to be like those kind of bands that did something unique that represented a certain time in the city.”

But growing up sometimes means saying goodbye. La Santa Cecilia couldn’t play shows every weekend in LA if they wanted to take their music to new audiences across the country and into Latin America. “I miss playing in Los Angeles, but I remember that a musician once told me, ‘El santo de casa no hace milagros— make them miss you so that they really come to see you,’” says Marisoul.

WHAT’S WITH THE FISH?

HUMBERTO HOWARD

On their first trip to Mexico, suspicious eyes greeted them in Guadalajara until Marisoul belted a ranchera halfway through the show that turned the tide.

When La Santa Cecilia returned to Mexico City earlier this year, it was to a much more festive, familiar atmosphere. “We went out to some clubs, and it was like we were going to La Cita again!” says Oso. The band’s travels have taken them through Colombia, the birthplace of cumbia, and Argentina, home to accordioncentered tango music. They’ve been on the road so long, especially after winning a Grammy, that when time came to start writing songs for Buenaventura, precious time in LA became too much of a distraction. “We were so involved with trying to be home with our family, friends, lovers and todo eso,” says Marisoul. “We rented an Airbnb in Joshua Tree. I took everyone’s phones, putting them away in a drawer because we had to focus.” Departing for the desert worked; the band wrote much of the material for Buenaventura there.

“I’ve actually been listening to our old albums a lot and just tripping out,” says Oso. “We did a really good job of trying to understand who we were and who we wanted to become. [On this album,] I get a sense of us maturing a lot musically and [that we] finally figured out how to mix those styles.” Back in the day, La Santa ventured through klezmer, bossa nova and rock within one song. The genre-bending

approach found in Buenaventura is more subtle, offering hints of country through slide guitar on “Here We Go Again” and timely horns that bring swing music into “I Won’t Cry for You.” La Santa Cecilia hasn’t forsaken experimental mixes, only refined them, a notion bolstered by the Latin Grammy and Grammy categories in which they’ve been nominated. “Through the years, we got nominated in 2011 for Best Tropical Song, then our album [was] nominated two years later for Best Latin Rock, Urban or Alternative Album, and now it’s Pop Rock!” Bendaña says, laughing.

When it came to pursing artists with whom to collaborate, La Santa Cecilia landed rock legends Fito Páez and Enrique Bunbury. But the Latino Arts String Program of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, a wonderful mariachi academy for kids in that city, topped their list. When the band had toured through the city, wondering if there were even any Mexicans in Milwaukee, they were surprised by a set of performances and workshops with the program. “It fills us with orgullo that we met these kids,” says Marisoul.

“These kids are like world-class musicians!” Oso adds.

When La Santa Cecilia returned to Milwaukee, they crammed more than 20 children from the program into a recording studio. The outcome was “Caminante Nocturno,” easily the most

endearing song on Buenaventura.

In the past year, Carlos and Marisoul also became parents to their own children. “This band is our baby, totalmente,” says Marisoul, “but I never thought I was going to be a mom and still play music.”

Oso and Bendaña are now like tíos to Carlos’ kiddos. “There’s something inside of you that changes,” says Carlos. “Hay que echarle más ganas!”

The musicians aren’t resting on their laurels, eager to tour Europe and Japan, but they aren’t finished conquering their hometown. La Santa Cecilia took the stage of the Walt Disney Concert Hall last year, and they have other iconic venues in sight including the Greek Theater and the Wiltern. The musicians are also pondering another cover album or perhaps teaming with a film director.

Before opening the next chapter, La Santa Cecilia’s current tour brings them through Costa Mesa for a Día de los Muertos celebration at Segerstrom Center for the Performing Arts. “It’s always been a special date for us,” says Marisoul. “We’re going to get to celebrate Día de los Muertos with family, con los amigos.”

LA SANTA CECILIA perform with Quetzal, Perla Batalla and Pacifico Dance Co. at Segerstrom Center for the Arts, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa, (714) 556-2787; www.scfta.org. Wed., 7:30 p.m. $39-$89. All ages.

PLASTERED LIKE BEETHOVEN

Tenacious DJs

CODY BURKHARDT

Jack Black and Kyle Gass evolve their festival and their musical pursuits

B

reaking down the awesome insanity that is Tenacious D is difficult, to say the least. But deconstructing the band? That’s a lot easier: Jack Black and Kyle Gass. What these two consistently bring to the stage is nothing short of astounding, distributing powerful lyrics and killer guitar chords, which is why they’re the greatest band on Earth. They also are the organizers behind Festival Supreme, which will (gently) ear fuck the Shrine Auditorium & Expo Hall on Saturday, proving they are also the greatest festival masterminds on Earth.

TENACIOUS D perform with Flight of the Conchords, Weird Al Yankovic, Mac Demarco, Patton Oswalt, Sarah Silverman and more at Festival Supreme, 665 W. Jefferson, Los Angeles, (213) 748-5116; festivalsupreme.com. Sat., 3 p.m. $99.50-$250. All ages.

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GASS: This one could do it: a plaque or a ribbon, something.

I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you guys. Any thoughts of taking this festival on the road?

GASS: Wait. Why don’t we take it on the road somewhere like Oddball? Sort of like a movable fest? Interesting. Okay, let’s do that!

Do you mind? I think you can pull this off.

BLACK: You’re too kind. Yeah, umm . . . it just seems like a lot of work to take it on the road. I mean, the venue and getting all of the crap together. I think you underestimate what a sprawling pain in the ass this festival is to organize—I mean, my god! We don’t want to take a concert around the world. It has to be this three-pronged beast that comes at you from a multistaged event. I think to really pull that off, you have to put your anchor down in one city. It takes a whole year to put this together.

Last year, you did a full jazz set that made my head explode it was so incredible. This year the bill says Tenacious DJ. Any scoop on that?

GASS: I just ordered my DJ rig off Amazon Prime.

BLACK: Oh, my god. We’re so far beyond the turntables. We’re so next level. A lot of people think that deejaying is just a push of the button, but nothing could be further than the truth. We’re looking forward to unveiling that.

GASS: Once I take this rig out of the box, I’m going to start practicing. It’s going to be, uhh, yeah . . . it’s going to be terrible.

I just want to play Herbie Hancock and drop a gnarly beat on it. It’s going to be a real room clearer.

OctO b er 28 - N Ovem ber 0 3, 2 016

OC WEEKLY: Let me just get the generic question out of the way: How did the idea of Festival Supreme come about?

JACK BLACK: Ohhhh. Yeah. Don’t apologize for this one.

KYLE GASS: [Whistles.] Woah, okay, no.

I know! Lame question, but it’s for the people!

BLACK: It just seemed like a good idea—a big idea and a good idea. It was time for that idea to come. It was like, “Let’s take all of the magic of comedy and music, and throw it all in one giant melting pot.” A gumbo, if you will. “It all started in the minds of Kyle Gass and Jack Black.” What else can be said, really? How did it start?

How did Beethoven write his fifth symphony? It just sorta happened.

I bet Beethoven was sipping on some sauce, all plastered.

GASS: I don’t think so.

BLACK: I don’t know if we were plastered, though—but probably.

GASS: Yeah, absolutely.

I’ve been to every Festival Supreme so far, and it’s been fun to watch it evolve.

BLACK: It’s frustratingly still LA’s bestkept secret. I wish it would just explode over the top because it’s long overdue.

We just need the people to know this is the jewel of the city. I don’t know why we haven’t been given the key to the city yet.

BY ALI LERMAN

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A Blessing and a Curse

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alking out of a routine session in Hermosa Beach, David Stücken feels good. He’s been boxing since he was a teen, and it once served as a good way to relieve tension. Now, his preferred way of expressing himself and channeling his aggression is in music.

Though he’d been bouncing around in local outfits such as his teenage group the Breakdowns (“We used to sneak into the Doll Hut and play before we were 21”) and, more prominently, the Strangers, David and the Curse is Stücken’s first as a solo artist. Figuring out what he wanted for his own music with his name stamped on the cover proved to be a more challenging task than recording and touring with those other bands. “With this new debut single and the record that’s going to follow, An Epitaph for Love, it all came down to the word being refinement,” he explains. “The hardest thing is to find your own personal voice. To sound like yourself isn’t as easy as it sounds. That’s the struggle as a solo artist, to define and refine yourself.”

David and the Curse has allowed the Long Beach-based songwriter to develop a sound that melds his many punk and rock influences to create something more coherent. Stücken started singing as far back as he can remember, joking that he came out of the womb singing songs.

Among his earliest music memories is singing Phantom of the Opera when he was a toddler and enjoying music that was technically challenging. “I remember in preschool, the teachers’ aides would ask me on the playground to sing them songs,” he says. “They used to tell my parents that they should put me on Star Search.”

Stücken’s success with the Strangers included touring with the likes of punk stalwarts TSOL and the Buzzcocks and an opening slot for Social Distortion, from which he gained some words of wisdom from Social D guitarist Jonny Wickersham. Following a stint with the

LOCALSONLY » DANIEL KOHN

Dead Relatives, a band that formed following the Strangers’ demise, Stücken decided to give his solo career a go. Without having to answer to any band mates and serving as the de facto maestro who could shape and map out a firm vision, the 32-year-old has been rejuvenated. He then spent some time in New York City, where he developed an idea and a sound for what was to become David and the Curse. The no-frills brand of rock was channeled in the preproduction for An Epitaph for Love. “I found myself alone without a band, and it was time to take all of this information and put it all together,” he says. “It’s been a couple of years, and it’s time to put it out.”

Though that won’t happen until early next year, Stücken is optimistic that his earnest, grounded songwriting approach will resonate with fans. “Even though it’s my solo debut and my solo band, if you don’t recognize you’re working with a great team, you became jaded quickly,” he says. “With David and the Curse being a solo debut, I’m very conscious that I have to earn respect. Jonny told me that I couldn’t let anything I did in music go to my head in order to win their respect over. That stuck with me.

“What I’ve learned with so many bands—with starting and ending—I learned a lot about humility and respect,” Stücken continues. “It’s really cool, but you have to stay humble, and staying true to the earnesty of the songwriting. I don’t feel like I have to compromise . . . that with David and the Curse.”

Hey, Orange County/Long Beach musicians & bands! Mail your music, contact info, high-res photos & impending show dates for possible review to: Locals Only, OC Weekly, 18475 Bandilier Cir., Fountain Valley, CA, 92708. Or email your link to: localsonly@ocweekly.com.

THIS WEEK FRIDAY, OCT. 28

ARISE ROOTS: 8 p.m., free. The Slidebar Rock-N-Roll

Kitchen, 122 E. Commonwealth Ave., Fullerton, (714) 871-7469; slidebarfullerton.com.

D.R.I.: 8 p.m. The Yost Theater, 307 N. Spurgeon St., Santa Ana, (888) 862-9573; yosttheater.com.

FROM INDIAN LAKES; MADE VIOLENT; WILD WILD HORSES: 9 p.m., $12. Constellation Room at

the Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; constellationroom.com.

PORTUGAL. THE MAN: 8 p.m., $30. The Glass House, 200 W. Second St., Pomona, (909) 865-3802; theglasshouse.us.

THE REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND:

9 p.m. Underground DTSA, 220 E. Third St., Santa Ana, (888) 862-9573; underground-dtsa.com.

SUPERSUCKERS: 9 p.m., $15. Underground DTSA, 220 E. Third St., Santa Ana, (888) 862-9573; underground-dtsa.com.

THROW RAG: 8 p.m., $15. Alex’s Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; alexsbar.com.

TIGER ARMY: 8 p.m., $30. The Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc.com.

VAGUESS AND BADLNDS: 6 p.m., free. Urban Outfitters, 2930 Bristol St., Ste. A111, Costa Mesa, (714) 966-1666; urbanoutfitters.com.

VNSSA: 9 p.m., free before 10 p.m., $5 after. The Wayfarer, 843 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 764-0039; wayfarercm.com.

SATURDAY, OCT. 29

THE BABYS: 7 p.m., $25-$75. Huntington Beach Library

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH; SHINEDOWN:

SUNDAY, OCT. 30

DARK TRANQUILLITY: 8 p.m., $32.50. City National

Grove of Anaheim, 2200 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, (714) 712-2750; citynationalgroveofanaheim.com.

EARLY MCCALISTER: 6:30 p.m., free. Fig & Olive, 151 Newport Ctr Dr., Newport Beach, (949) 877-3005; figandolive.com.

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Black Sabbath tribute, 9 p.m., free. The Continental Room, 115 W. Santa Fe Ave., Fullerton, (714) 469-1879; facebook.com/ContinentalRoom.

OC DIY PRESENTS: ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE ’90S?: 9 p.m., $5. OC DIY, 22651 Lambert St., Ste. 109,

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Lake Forest; orangecountydiy.org.

PAPA: 9 p.m., $12. Constellation Room at the Observatory,

3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; constellationroom.com.

SAVOY BROWN: 7 p.m. The Coach House, 33157 Camino Capistrano, Ste. C, San Juan Capistrano, (949) 496-8930; thecoachhouse.com.

TIGER ARMY—OCTOBERFLAME VIII WITH WANDA JACKSON: 8 p.m. The Observatory,

3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc.com.

TREETOP FLYER: 8 p.m., $5. Alex’s Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; alexsbar.com.

MONDAY, OCT. 31

CAITLIN LUCIA: 8 p.m., free. The Wayfarer, 843 W. 19th

St., Costa Mesa, (949) 764-0039; wayfarercm.com.

MEXRISSEY: 8 p.m., $20. The Glass House, 200 W. Second St., Pomona, (909) 865-3802; theglasshouse.us.

SKAPECHE MODE: 7 p.m., free. The Slidebar RockN-Roll Kitchen, 122 E. Commonwealth Ave., Fullerton, (714) 871-7469; slidebarfullerton.com.

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YOST HALLOWEEN 2016: 9 p.m., $10. The Yost Theater, 307 N. Spurgeon St., Santa Ana, (888) 8629573; yosttheater.com.

TUESDAY, NOV. 1

BAD RELIGION; AGAINST ME!; DAVE HAUSE:

8 p.m. The Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc.com.

DEHUMAN; BEGAT THE NEPHILIM: 7 p.m., $7.

Blacklight District Lounge, 2500 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach.

HO99O9: 11 p.m., $15. Constellation Room at the Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; constellationroom.com.

SABRINA CARPENTER: 7 p.m., $18. Constellation Room at the Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; constellationroom.com.

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THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA: 6:30 p.m., $25-$28. The

RAW BLOW WEDNESDAYS—METAL SHOW & MOVIE: 9 p.m., free. Que Sera, 1923 E. Seventh St.,

BRAINSTORY; GOLDEN DAZE; DREAM PANTHER; MOON ENSEMBLE: 9 p.m., $5-$10.

Que Sera, 1923 E. Seventh St., Long Beach, (562) 5996170; queseralb.wix.com.

HAVOC THURSDAYS FEATURING JOSH PAN; POINT POINT: 9:30 p.m., $15. The Yost Theater, 307

N. Spurgeon St., Santa Ana, (888) 862-9573; yosttheater.com.

JACOB SARTORIUS: 7:30 p.m., $25. City National Grove of Anaheim, 2200 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, (714) 712-2750; citynationalgroveofanaheim.com.

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THE SUMMER SET: 9 p.m. Constellation Room at the Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; constellationroom.com.

VERY BE CAREFUL: 8 p.m., $10. Alex’s Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; alexsbar.com.

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6 p.m., $42-$62. Honda Center, 2695 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, (714) 704-2400; hondacenter.com.

GHOST TOWN: 9 p.m., free. Alex’s Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; alexsbar.com.

HERB OHTA JR.: 8 p.m., $26-$30. Soka Performing Arts Center, 1 University Dr., Aliso Viejo, (949) 480-4278; performingarts.soka.edu.

LATE NIGHT AGREEMENT: 7 p.m., $12. The Glass House, 200 W. Second St., Pomona, (909) 865-3802; theglasshouse.us.

LUCIFER’S BALL WITH SADISTIC INTENT: 3 p.m., $20. Malone’s, 604 E. Dyer Rd., Santa Ana, (714) 9796000; facebook.com/MalonesConcertVenue.

OINGO BOINGO DANCE PARTY: 8 p.m. The Coach House, 33157 Camino Capistrano, Ste. C, San Juan Capistrano, (949) 496-8930; thecoachhouse.com.

TIGER ARMY—OCTOBERFLAME VIII: 8 p.m. The Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; observatoryoc.com.

THE VILLAGE FATE: 8 p.m., free. Casa Costa Mesa, 820 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 877-4011; casacostamesa.com.

5 p.m., free. The Slidebar Rock-N-Roll Kitchen, 122 E. Commonwealth Ave., Fullerton, (714) 871-7469; slidebarfullerton.com.

HALLOWSEVE DANCE PARTY: 8:30 p.m., free. The Continental Room, 115 W. Santa Fe Ave., Fullerton, (714) 469-1879; facebook.com/ContinentalRoom.

OctO b er 28 - N Ovem ber 0 3, 201 6

and Cultural Center, 7111 Talbert Ave., Huntington Beach, (714) 842-4481.

BLACK SABBATH HALLOWEEN TRIBUTE: 8 p.m., free. The Republic Fullerton, 912 Williamson Ave., Fullerton, (714) 213-8068.

CJ RAMONE: 8 p.m., free. The Slidebar Rock-N-Roll Kitchen, 122 E. Commonwealth Ave., Fullerton, (714) 871-7469; slidebarfullerton.com.

DEAD MAN’S PARTY: 6 p.m., $25. Gaslamp Restaurant & Bar, 6251 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach, (562) 596-4718; thegaslamprestaurant.com.

DOPE: 7 p.m., $20. City National Grove of Anaheim, 2200 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, (714) 712-2750; citynationalgroveofanaheim.com.

DOWNTOWN ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE: 2 p.m., free.

The Yost Theater, 307 N. Spurgeon St., Santa Ana, (888) 862-9573; yosttheater.com.

FINISH TICKET: 9 p.m. Constellation Room at the Observatory, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; constellationroom.com.

ELVIS & THE DISCIPLES OF THE KINGS:

| contents | the county | feature | calendar | food | film | culture | music | classifieds |

concert guide»

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I love my wife, but I have a lot of resentment, disappointment and insecurity over our sex life. After four years of marriage, huge angst remains that I have yet to get a handle on.

Right now, with kids and our busy lives, she’s content with sex once a week or so, and I need relief pretty much every night to help with my insomnia. What’s more, I really don’t enjoy porn at all, but if we aren’t having intercourse, there’s pretty much no other way for me to get off. Blame it on my fundamentalist evangelical upbringing, but I fear my porn use becoming an addiction. It makes me feel dirty. I would love a solution to this problem that doesn’t involve me jerking off in a dark room by a computer screen after my wife falls asleep every night.

All I want to do is feel close to my wife, orgasm and sleep. I think she does sincerely care and wants to help me, but she is just so tired and busy with her career and our kids. And yes, I have talked and fought with her countless times. In weaker moments, I’ll admit I have also guilted her for her more “active” sexual past (with prior boyfriends) and for her current “neglect,” which I know is unfair and unhelpful. I just don’t know what to do.

When Orgasms Enable Sleep You’ve been married four years, you have more than one child, you both work—and if you divide household labor like most couples, WOES, your wife is doing more/most of the cooking, cleaning and child care. But even if you were childless, living in a hotel suite with daily maid service, eating only room service and throwing your underpants out the window after one wearing, WOES, it would still be unreasonable to expect PIV intercourse every night of the week.

Frankly, WOES, once-a-week PIV is more sex than most young straight dads are getting. And if you’re demanding PIV from your wife as a sleep aid—“ask your doctor if Clambien is right for you”— it’s a miracle you’re getting any sex at all.

And the limited options you cite—it’s either PIV with the wife or masturbation in front of the computer—aren’t doing you any favors.

Consider PIV from your wife’s perspective: Her husband fucks, comes and falls asleep. She lies there for a while afterward, tingling, and may have to go to the bathroom once or twice. The PIV that puts her husband to sleep after a long day? It puts her sleep off. And if she wanted to get it over with quickly—because she was exhausted— there wasn’t much foreplay, which means she probably wasn’t fully lubricated (uncomfortable) and most likely didn’t come (unfair). That’s a recipe for resentment, WOES, and resentment kills desire. (Or maybe you should think of it this way: If your ass got fucked every time you said yes to sex, WOES, you wouldn’t say yes to sex seven nights a week.)

If you expanded your definition of sex, WOES, if your options weren’t PIV or nothing, you might not have to masturbate six nights a week. Because if your definition of sex included oral (his and hers), mutual masturbation and frottage—and if these weren’t consolation prizes you settled for, but sex you were enthusiastic about—your wife might say yes to sex more often.

Still, you’re never going to get it seven nights a week. So make the most of the PIV you’re getting, broaden your definition of sex and get another night or two of sex in per week, and enjoy porn without guilt the rest of the week. And if you’re concerned about the amount of porn you’re watching, try this trick: Lie on the couch or the floor or the guest bed, stroke your cock (even if it’s soft) and think dirty

SAVAGELOVE » DAN SAVAGE

thoughts. Your cock will get hard, I promise, and you’ll get off. It’s how most people masturbated before the internet came and ruined everything, WOES, and it still works.

When I met my partner of three years, I thought I’d hit the jackpot: a Dom who packs a wallop but knows how to listen and loves group sex (which is kinda my jam). It’s hard to let go of my memories of the early days. We have had some rough patches, especially since he has had increasing financial trouble/underemployment, whereas I am back in school and have too many jobs. The biggest issue, as I see it, is he always makes me explain at length why I am busy—not just what I am doing (e.g., midterms), but whether that is “normal” (yes, every semester). I am tired. I care about my partner a lot and feel very close to him in some ways, but I also see him taking advantage of me financially and demanding endless reassurance on top of this. So my desire is to DTMFA. But when I talk about my feelings in the relationship, he argues with me—about what my feelings are or should rationally be. I am really ground down by this.

The prospect of breaking up feels like it will be an ordeal. I feel trapped. I don’t think I can stay with him, but I also don’t want to have a conversation about leaving.

Sincerely Troubled Under Constant Kriticism We need someone’s consent before we kiss them, suck them, fuck them, spank them, spoon them, marry them, collar them, etc. But we do not need someone’s consent to leave them. Breakups are the only aspect of our romantic and/or sexual lives where the other person’s consent is irrelevant. The other person’s pain is relevant, of course, and we should be as compassionate and considerate as possible when ending a relationship. (Unless we’re talking about dumping an abuser, in which case safety and self-care are all that matters.) But we don’t need someone’s consent to dump them.

That means you don’t have to win an argument to break up with your boyfriend, STUCK, nor do you have to convince him your reasons are rational. You don’t even have to discuss your reasons for ending the relationship. You just have to say, “It’s over; we’re done.” It’s a declaration, STUCK, not a conversation.

Thank you so much for all of your advocacy—of both sexual and political persuasions—through the years, Dan. Like MADDER, the mom whose letter you ran in last week’s column, I have used Trump’s past and current behavior to help further discussion about the concepts of consent and body awareness, safety, and respect with my young daughter. There’s just one thing I wanted to add: Parents should not restrict the “Trump Talk” to their daughters. Our sons need to be told that words and actions that objectify, demean and damage women are not what being a boy or man is about. My son is only 3, so he’s a little young as of yet. But I will definitely have the Trump Talk with both my children.

Sons Need Trump Talk Too Thanks for writing in, SNTTT, and you’re right—we need to have the Trump Talk with our sons, too.

But I would add another reason to your list: While our sons absolutely need to be told not to objectify, demean and damage women, our sons also need to be told that they, too, have a right to move through this world unmolested.

Parents have sex, too! Or so say the hosts of One Bad Mother on the Lovecast (savagelovecast.com).

Contact Dan via email at mail@savagelove.net, and follow him on Twitter: @fakedansavage.

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Preheat Oven to 375 degrees. Unroll the dough to create 4 rectangles. Cut each rectangle lengthwise into 10 pieces, making a total of 40 pieces of dough. Slice cheese into quarters. Wrap 4 pieces of dough around each hot dog and slice of cheese to look like mummy bandages. You can stretch the dough slightly to cover the hot dog completely but separate the strips so the hot dog shows through. Place hot dogs, cheese side down, onto an ungreased cookie sheet and spray lightly with cooking spray. Bake 13 to 17 minutes or until dough is light golden brown.

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Announcements of an increase shall be made four weeks in advance to contract advertisers. No verbal agreement altering the rates and/or the terms of this rate card shall be recognized.

services 195 Position Wanted

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SAFE ACCESS DIRECTORY

| CONTENTs | Th E COu NTy | f EaTu RE | Cal ENda R | f OOd | film | Cul Tu RE | musi C | classifieds

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41

1 ST LICENSED MEDICAL MARIJUANA DISPENSARY IN ORANGE COUNTY

SCSA

SOUTH COAST SAFE ACCESS

Largest Showroom & Biggest Selection in OC

FTP: Buy an 1/8, Get a FREE 1/8

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1900 Warner Ave. Ste. A, Santa Ana 92705 (Conveniently Located Off the 55 Freeway) 949.474.7272 • Hours: Mon-Sat 10am-8pm Sun 11am-7pm

SANTA ANA

THANK YOU FOR VOTING US

‘BEST DISPENSARY’ 2016

MASSIVE

Give u s a CAll For m ore detai ls!

HALLOWEEN SALE AND PARTY! OCToBER 31St! TONS OF SPECIALS! YOU won’t want to miss this

VOTED

Christopher Glew

BEST LAWYER 2016

Christopher Glew

DEFENSE ATTORNEY IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA Winning groundbreaking trials in the field of medical marijuana in the state of California. Called “The hottest criminal defense attorney in Orange County,” he has been recognized as one of the 2015 Top Lawyers in California by American Lawyer Media, and one of the Top 100 Criminal Trial Lawyers Southern California by the National Trial Lawyers Association.

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