SYNONYMS: BROTHERHOOD AND BEING A MAN

BY DANIEL STACHOWSKI

Although some might disagree with the title, I believe experiencing brotherhood is an integral part of learning how to become a better man. Being a byproduct of one of the only all-male institutions left in the United States, I believe I offer a unique perspective on this topic.

For a brief, less than formal introduction, I am a rising senior at Hampden-Sydney College. Besides being a full-time student, pursuing my degree in Economics and Business, I would also consider myself a type-A person. With plans to pursue higher education, a master’s degree specifically, my mind coming into college was solely focused on academics. Never once did I consider myself the traditional ‘fraternity’ type of guy. I thought possessing a solid academic background outweighed all other college activities. Following this thought process left me feeling complacent. I knew I wanted something different, but the question was what? The amorphous thing I needed was brotherhood.

Before finding brotherhood, I presumed being in a fraternity meant only drinking and sleeping around. While my brothers and I love beer, and our ASA girls (reference the Alpha Sigma Alpha chapter at Longwood), we do more than that. We push one another, build each other up, and hold each other accountable. Sure, we have different sororities over every weekend, but it goes far beyond sleeping with women or boozing. Finding brotherhood pushed me to self-reflect on how to become a better man. Cultivating such a positively constructive environment, especially considering my introverted tendencies, I would say is a priceless bond.

To digress and conclude, I want to elaborate on advice I derived directly from my transformative years in undergrad. At Hampden-Sydney, the college has a stern emphasis on being ‘better men and better citizens’ – imploring its students to aim constantly toward this goal. Therefore, I find it fitting to speak on my definition of personal success. My definition of personal success can be quantified into three moving parts. First, understand success is not always linear. While striving to be the best may appear as the most conventional solution, I think achieving the most marginal utility out of yourself every single day is what matters more. Life is only supposed to be you today versus you yesterday, not you against someone else. Second, the world bends to consistent action. Typically, one decision will not make your life better or worse off, however habitual action will. Be the creator of habitual action that benefits you and those around you. Lastly, hard work triumphs in everything. You might not be the best at something right now, and that’s okay, obsession beats talent. Hard work is the vehicle, and you should be its driver.

Throughout my undergraduate experience within the brotherhood at Zeta-Gamma, learning the value of these indispensable life lessons alongside my brothers has been simply irreplaceable. Brotherhood has given me a clearer understanding of what it means to be a better man, and I’d do it all over again if given the opportunity.

– Brother Sigma, Zeta-Gamma Chapter Daniel is the editor of the Hampden-Sydney Tiger Newspaper