Walking together with other families: Q&A with Matthew and Julia Unger

Dino Durando

is the Director of the Office of Domestic Church and Discipleship and the Office of Marriage and Family for the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph. He and his wife Cathy have been married (almost) 25 years and have 10 children and one grandchild.

Matthew and Julia Unger, parishioners at St. Andrew the Apostle Parish, participate in the Domestic Church movement. Initiated in the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph in 2018, the Domestic Church movement consists of married couples who wish to live out their sacrament to the full with the help of God and a small group of other couples, along with their parish priest.

“We were struck by the beauty of this movement and the promotion of the unity of the family. Rather than attending separate retreats and growing personally in faith we would attend together and grow together.”

How did the two of you meet, and how did you discern marriage?

A: We met in January 2014 playing dodgeball in a Catholic Challenge Sports league. As we spent more time together, we prayed for God to guide us in our relationship. In every serious relationship we had been in before, at some point, God seemed to be saying, “This is not the person I have for you to marry.” Neither of us ever felt in our hearts that message about our relationship. We were married on May 30, 2015,and have been blessed with five children (ages 6 to 2 months) and one in heaven.

Q

What was your initial motivation/reason for attending the Domestic Church retreat and then joining a circle for formation?

A: We attended the initial retreat, after being invited by friends we look up to, Jon and Jeni Doolittle. We wanted to spend some quality time with them and allow ourselves the opportunity for the first “getaway” since our honeymoon. We were pregnant and nearly due with our third baby, and we felt it was a good time to reconnect and strengthen our bond. Once again, God’s call to focus on the spiritual growth of our family was a catalyst, this time through the Domestic Church and the circle of families we’ve come to love who we join for monthly formation.

Q Why have you stayed with it?

A: We were struck by the beauty of this movement and the promotion of the unity of the family. Rather than attending separate retreats and growing personally in faith, we would attend together and grow together. The Domestic Church movement also extends to the children and their formation, which helps fulfill the commitment proclaimed in the Sacrament of Marriage. The history behind Father Blachnicki’s Light-Life Young Adult movement in Poland is very compelling as well.

Q

What fruits can you identify in your marriage from your participation in Domestic Church?

A: Our family has seen an increase in perseverance, unity in family prayer, more open and honest communication and a greater witness to the faith.

Matthew has a greater openness and trust in God’s plan.

Julia grew up in a broken and eventually divorced family, which created deep wounds. Domestic Church has been a true source of healing, especially seeing how families can remain united, even in difficult times, when they pray together, communicate and continue to strive for holiness each day. It is a great source of hope that we are not alone in this journey. Families are seeking Jesus in the same way right alongside us.

Learn more at kcsjfamily.org/ light-life