Think Before You Speak!

By DEACON ROBERT T. YERHOT, MSW

From the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks" (Lk 6:45), and, “When a sieve is shaken, the husks appear; so do one’s faults when one speaks” (Sir 27:4). How we speak about others says a lot about us. Our heart and our desires are revealed in our speech. How true it is. It reminds me of a particular caution and a particular sin. The caution is: Think before you speak! Do not needlessly harm a man’s reputation, or your own, with rash speech! The sin is detraction, which, according to the Catechism, is the disclosure of another’s faults and sins, without an objectively valid reason, to persons who did not know about them, thus causing unjust injury to that person’s reputation. Everyone has a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation, and to respect. Detraction is a sin against this right and against the truth.

So much political speech nowadays is pure detraction. When I turn on the radio, it seems to flood my home with loud, accusatory, and negative speech, always attacking someone’s reputation. Free speech, they claim. First Amendment rights, they assert. Really? Even courts of law recognize no one has the right to slander or libel another.

Years ago, I heard coworkers dumping on their wives, devaluing them publicly, exposing their faults. It said a lot about those men’s characters. I also heard wives always finding fault with their husbands rather than looking for that which was admirable about them.

I tire of it. Enough, I say. Stop it!

Detraction is a sin against the truth. God is truth, the source of all truth, for each one of us and for the person we are tempted to criticize and expose. The truth is each person is a child of God and infinitely loved by him. How different we would treat each other if we really believed that!

One reason the sin of detraction is so widespread is that people do not believe that truth is from God. This denial of the divine origin of truth is a big deal. For many, truth is relative to their feelings. “If I feel it, it is true and I can therefore express it. Everything depends on my vies." When we go down that road, nothing is true and nothing is sinful except what violates my personal viewpoint. We become our own god.

No, my friends; God is the source of truth. If something is really true, then it comes from God. So, what I am about to say about someone else - is it of God, and from him?

I read in a church bulletin that there are three questions we need to ask ourselves before revealing the faults of others. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary to say it?

If it is true, it is from God, not from us.

If it is kind, our motivation will be pure. Lies are never kind. Half-truths are cruel. Hatred is evil. Anger is destructive. Wounding others’ reputations is sinful. Is it necessary to reveal it? To answer, we must sleep on it. We must pray about it before we speak. When might it be necessary? On the witness stand in a court of law. Before God in the confessional or in spiritual direction. When intervening to save a man’s life and well-being. When protecting a vulnerable individual from serious harm. In other words, it is seldom necessary to reveal someone’s faults to another.

From the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks! Fill your heart with good things. Fill your heart with the Lord. Fill your heart with the truth which comes from God himself. Fill your heart with the love of God for you and for all. Fill your heart with the truth who is God. Then your heart will be full of good things and your speech will be just, and true, and honorable.

Deacon Robert Yerhot serves the parishes of St. Mary in Caledonia and St. Patrick in Brownsville.