Study Breaks Magazine

COVER GIRL WINNER, SEAN JOHNSON!

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

COVER PHOTO: STEPHEN DEMENT PHOTOGRAPHY

FEATURES 34

DON’T BE THAT GUY Six Spring Breakers We Know and Despise

36

SPRING BREAK CONFESSIONS 16 Stories and Scandals From the Best Week of the Year

40

SEAN JOHNSON 20 Things You Need to Know About Your 2015 College Cover Girl Winner

46

YOUR BEST SPRING BREAK BODY 30+ Ways to Get Fit

MUSIC & MORE 51 56 57 58

MUSIC AROUND TEXAS ONE TO WATCH SPINS BUZZ

IN EVERY ISSUE TOP TEN HOT OR NOT HOW TO CAMPUS VIBE CAMPUS CRUSH GUY TALK STYLE GUY STYLE HAPPY HOUR QUIZ FUN STUFF

36. CRINGE AND THE BEST OF THE ISSUE

stephen dement photography

18 20 22 24 26 28 30 32 59 60 62

LAUGH OVER SPRING BREAK SCANDALS

30. UPGRADE

YOUR SWEATY STYLE

34. DON’T BE THAT GUY 57. UPDATE YOUR ITUNES 28. GET INSIDE

THE MALE MIND

ON THE COVER 40

SEAN JOHNSON 2015 Cover Girl Winner

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 3

SAM SUMPTER EDITOR NEW YEAR, NEW SB As of October, I’ve been editor of Study Breaks for three years. Three longggg years.

(Just kidding...kind of.)

Now, I’ve always loved the magazine (after all, how many publications give you the opportunity to use the term “cock block”

FOUNDER PUBLISHERS VICE PRESIDENT

Gal Shweiki Steve Viner, Daniel Stone David Reimherr

like 12 times a month, and add phone sex hotlines to your Google search history for actual research?), but—as we all know—nothing gold can stay, and sometimes you just need a change. In this case, that change came in the form of his month’s redesign.

I’ve long been a fan of publications like Nylon, Paper, Vice and GQ— magazines with a decisively edgy, graphic aesthetic—and, beginning in 2015, that’s the path we’re following here at Study Breaks. While our former model—a “hot” this, “hot” that, saddlestitched mag modeled after US Weekly—was a blast to create and super fulfilling for everyone who contributed, this new model allows us the opp to spread our creative wings (without straying

EDITOR ASSISTANT EDITOR WRITERS

ART DIRECTOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER PRODUCTION SALES REP CUSTOMER SERVICE REP PHOTOGRAPHERS

from clichés, apparently) and create a mag that’s just...well, it’s

Sam Sumpter Marina Garcia Larissa Garcia-Baab, Peter Scales, Sydney Sloan, Sahar Walji Ian Friedel Garrett Brzozowski Shweiki Media Ellis Media Company Stephanie Goodman Stephen DeMent, Amar Gupta, Ali Iqbal, Aaron Moore, Jeff Ramirez, Andres Rodriguez

fucking cooler than it’s ever been. And I’m beyond amped about it.

As is fitting, we took the opportunity for a new year to debut this new design, and, content-wise, I couldn’t have picked better material with which to kick off 2015. Take our college cover girl winner, Sean Johnson: not only is she beyond gorgeous and the best model I could imagine, but she’s smart, kind and interesting (and forgave me after I dropped her snake at the

STUDY BREAKS magazine is published twelve times per year by Shweiki Media, Inc. copyright 2012. All rights reserved. This magazine may not be reproduced in whole or in part in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented without written permission from the publisher. Reproduction or use in whole or in part of the contents of this magazine or of the trademarksof Study Breaks Magazine, Inc., withour

photo shoot). We’ve also got plenty of content geared to prepare

written permission of the publisher is prohibited. The publisher assumes no

you—and get you stoked—for the most important week of the

responsibilty for care and return of unsolicited materials.Return postage must

semester, Spring Break. Think confessions and stories, do’s

accompany material if it is to be returned. In no event shall such material

and don’ts, how to get your best beach body yet, and more.

subject this magazine to any claim for holding fees or similiar charges.

Which may or may not be similar to Study Breaks issues of

STUDY BREAKS magazine is an entertainment magazine for the students of

yesteryear...because, let’s be real, some things never change.

Austin published 12 times a year

So check out the new mag (and those to come) for both new and old types of content—all in a totally different package— and be sure to tweet me your feedback @its_sam_babaaay. hasn’t.

Because while the mag has gotten cool cooler, clearly learly my Twitter handle hasn

4

JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

CORPORATE OFFICE: Study Breaks Magazine, Inc. 511 W. 41st Street Austin, TX 78751 tel: [512] 480.0893 | fax: [512] 480.0867 email: info@studybreaks.com www.studybreaks.com

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 5

STUFF TO DO

COMPILED BY: SYDNEY SLOAN

7 WAYS TO TAKE A STUDY BREAK THIS MONTH

forums.wildstar.online.com

02

CELEBRATE OPPOSITE DAY

This day ISN’T fun and you totally SHOULDN’T participate. (See what we did there? ) Take advantage of January 25th to officially honor the day you’ve been unofficially celebrating since second grade, and take advantage of an awesome opportunity to screw with your friends.

imgarcade.com

03

CATCH SOME Z’S

January 3rd—aka Festival of Sleep Day—is a holiday we can really get behind… or lay on top of… or take a nap on… Anyway, this day is perfect for all the sleep-deprived people out there (which we’re guessing is about 100% of you). nypost.com

blu-ray.com

04

PLAY HOOKY

The beginning of the semester means one thing: syllabus week.

Assuming you’re literate, we suggest you don’t show up to hear your professor read aloud from a 12-page packet.

05

BOWL OUT

Are you ready for some football? It’s college bowl season, so be sure to catch classics like the Cotton Bowl and Rose Bowl (both January 1st)—and, um, less classic games like the GoDaddy Bowl (January 4th)—to get warmed up for the National Championship on the 12th. Hope you’ve got a big beer budget.

waverlybowlingclub.com

wikimeidacommons.com

hdwallspapersfactory.com

01

DITCH YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

January 17th is the official day of giving up on all those lofty goals, so skip the resolutions. You know that all-kale diet was doomed from the start, so stop stressing about it and make 2015 the best (and most fun) year yet!

6

JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

06

TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE

Quick! What’s the largest land mammal? Do you know how long the equator is… in inches? Quiz your friends—and, more importantly, make them feel foolish—on Trivia Day (January 4th)!

07

MAKE IT A MOVIE NIGHT

Dozens of films and specials expire on Netflix this month, so pop some popcorn and enjoy fun PG throwbacks like Good Burger, D3: The Mighty Ducks, and The Parent Trap while you still can.

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 7

SPOTLIGHT

COMPILED BY: SAM SUMPTER PHOTO: MELANEE BROWN

STUDENT DESIGNER

ELIOT DRAKE Talks Fashion and the Inspiration Behind His Line, Dopey The Bear ELIOT DRAKE, 22 Hometown: Cedar Hill Major: Apparel Design & Manufacturing with a minor in Retail Business How did you come up with the name Dopey the Bear for your line?

It spawned from a friend when it was in the early developing stages.

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

What kind of clothes and accessories do you design? How would you describe the style of the line?

Currently jackets, hoodies and headwear, ranging from beanies to volley caps. I would have to describe the style as urban.

Who are you designing these clothes and accessories for—who’s your muse?

Anyone that enjoys comfortable clothing, but [specifically] for my muse, Brandon Thompson.

What designers inspire you?

Phillip Annand, Nasir Mazhar, and Blue The Great What’s your favorite thing you’ve ever designed?

Probably the tie-dye hoodie from my September release last year, but I don’t get caught up on anything I make.

How do you balance design with going to class and living life as a college student?

If I’m not doing anything class-related, I’m

doing something related to the brand in some sort of way. There’s not a hour in the day I’m not reflecting or working on how to do something better than I’ve already done before.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Creative director of an international fashion house

Purchase Eliot’s goods at

DOPEYTHEBEAR.COM and follow the line on Twitter and Instagram

@DOPEYTHEBEAR

ON CAMPUS

COMPILED BY: MARINA GARCIA

New Student-Created Social Media App,

TUSKER Step aside, YikYak: there’s a new university app on the rise.

Texas Wrangler Mark Tomasovic and friends Jeff Lairsey and Kevin Smith have created Tusker, an app on which college students can post four-piece pic-stitches and videos up to six-seconds long to their profile. There other users will be able to give the posts a quick “yes” or “no” vote, allowing users to accumulate points based on their posts’ popularity. At the end of each week, points are tallied and the student with the most is proclaimed “The Tusker” and receives prizes like a free t-shirt, an invite to a special end-of-the-year Tusker event, and bragging rights, of course. The UT version of the app launches on January 20th and will be available in the App Store for download, so get ready to get your tusk on! (Or, um, something like that.)

“It’s like…exhausting to eat this sandwich.”

–Girl Who, We Assume, Was Very Hungover

“We decided to give my roommate the cupcake because she was the most hot-mess of all of us.”

“I’m pretty sure that even my advisor thinks I should switch to an MRS degree.”

-Girl Demonstrating Extreme Selflessness

-Girl Who’s Given Up on Life

cute-depressed cut ressed ed d

“Procrastination level: Updating LinkedIn.” “P

- Guy on PCL 5th Floor During Finals

“Yesterday at the PCL, I saw aw a girl who ho looked looked ike, cute-depressed.” depressed, but she was, like,

“Curve on girls are great, but I’d prefer curves “Curves on my exams.”

- Guyy With Weird Preferences

JOHN HARR HARRIS

-Bro Speaking Into His Burrito

ut.edu

UT ATHLETES

-Misguided Science Student

OVERHEARD IN THE E ATX T

ut.edu

TOP 5

“We’re talking about black holes in astronomy, but I saw Interstellar so I already know everything.”

SA SAY WHAT? AT??

CHECK IT OUT:

Senior, nior, Texas Football Footbal Hometown: Garland an Major: ajo Physical ical Culture and Sport

Athletic Talent We Can’t Stop Talking About

Junior, Texas Softball Sof Hometown: Beaumont eaumont Major: Undergradu Undergraduate ate Studies

ut.edu

KHAT BELL

Senior, Texas Volleyball Hometown: Mesquite Major: Health Promotion Not only has Bell gotten a ton of recognition within the Big 12 throughout her volleyball career, but she has dominated this season by leading the team in kills, blocks and digs, helping lead the Longhorns to their 21st conference title!

Senior, r, Texas Basketball Hometown: etown: San Antonio ntonio Major: Applied Learn Learning and Dev Development

Holmes was named Phillips 66 Big 12 Conference Player of the Week after coming out strong against Iowa and Cal back in November. Now, he’s still going strong in his fourth season with the he Longhorns, and nd even landed the buzzer shot in the game against gainst UConn last semester!

Stephens ens is one 28 athletes across the nation to be invited to the 2015 USA So Softball Women’s National al Team Selection Camp. A Along with fellow Longhorn,, Taylor Hoagl Hoagland, Stephens will get the chance to train ain in order to ccompete for a spot on the 17-player 2015 015 USA Women Women’s National Team to represent the US in the World C Cup of Softball. texas.scholar.edu

dallasnews.com

Harris has had a whirlwind season, aand under the careful watch of Coach ach Strong, he’s led the team in receiving yards (1,015), touchdown 1,015), receptions (59) and touchdow catches (7), as of December—making him only the sixth player layer in school history w with over 1,000 yards in onee season!

JONATH JONATHAN HOLMES OLM

LINDSEY STEPHENS

JESSICA GLENNIE

Senior, Texas Rowing Home Country: South Africa Major: Architecture After racing with the Texas Women’s Rowing Team for three years, Glennie has gone on to earn one of the highest academic achievements in the world as a 2014 Rhodes Rhod Scholarship recipient, making ng her the ninth student athlete in UT history to receive such an honor!

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 9

WHAT’S YOUR MAJOR? COMPILED BY: SAHAR WALJI

From the mouths of

THIS MONTH, WE STUDY

SOCIOLOGY The Average Starting Salary

$35,000 …To analyze the behavior of groups and institutions– aka why people are so damn weird.

MYTHS MYTH: Sociology is an easy major.

TRUTH: Not so much. Imagine going through life thinking you understand the way the world works, and then one day you take a college course that destroys your previous understanding. Yup, that’s sociology for ya!

MYTH: You’re not going to find a job with a sociology degree.

TRUTH: Sociology gives you the skill of complex and in-depth analysis. You can work with non-profits; you can do research and create policy proposals for think tanks; you can go to law school and be a lawyer. Options are pretty endless!

MYTH: Sociology is a women’s major.

TRUTH: Okay, so this one is kind of true. A majority of Sociology students are female, but there are still some guys holding it down!

SOCIOLOGYMAJORS

“Anyone who knows me knows I probably spent more time in undergrad skipping class than going to it. Sociology was the first intro class I took where I didn’t miss a single class all semester. That’s how I knew it was the major for me.”

-Seema Anand, 23

Hometown: Houston “I chose sociology because it was the most interesting class I took, and when I had to choose what I wanted to major in, I decided Sociology was the thing for me. Sociology is the psychology of groups rather than a person [as an individual], and I find that much more interesting than regular psychology.”

-Antonette Marianne, 23

Hometown: Columbia, MD “I think that by studying social behavior, social relationships and institutions, and society in general, I can help solve some of the big problems that we face today. For example, I’m really passionate about interpersonal violence, and want to use my knowledge of Sociology to be an activist for ending domestic violence, sexual violence, stalking and related issues.”

-Brittany Estes-Garcia, 22 Hometown: San Antonio

STUDYINGCELEBRITIES: Famous Faces Who Majored in Sociology

RONALD REAGAN

NINA DOBREV

KAL PENN

Former President, Spokesperson, Politician and Actor Eureka College

Actress and Model Ryerson University

American Actor, Film Producer, and Civil Servant The University of California, Los Angeles

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SOS: FIND HELP HERE COMPILED BY: SB STAFF

SUICIDE PREVENTION National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) suicidepreventionlifeline.org

MENTAL HEALTH AND EATING DISORDERS National Depressive and ManicDepressive Association Hotline 1-800-826-3632

The National Hopeline Network 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433) hopeline.com

Suicide Prevention Line for LGBTQ Youth, The Trevor Project 1-866-4-U-TREVOR (488-7386) thetrevorproject.org

ALCOHOL AND DRUG ABUSE Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration 1-800-662-HELP (4357) samhsa.gov/treatment

Alcohol Abuse and Crisis Intervention 1-800-234-0246

Alcohol and Drug Abuse Helpline and Treatment

National Eating Disorder Hotline 1-800-931-2237 nationaleatingdisorders.org

University Health Services 24/7 Nurse Advice Line

National Graduate Student Crisis Line

512-475-6877 healthyhorns.utexas.edu

1-800-GRAD-HELP (472-3457) hopeline.com/gradhelp.html

DOMESTIC ABUSE & SEXUAL ASSAULT

SafePlace (Ending Sexual & Domestic Violence)

Know Your Line

HEALTH AND STDS Texas Health Department 615-490-2505 dshs.state.tx.us

Texas AIDS Hotline 1-800-299-2437 hab.hrsa.gov

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National AIDS Hotline

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1-800-342-AIDS (2437) cdc.gov/hiv/

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Center for Disease Control and PreventionSTD Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (232-4636) cdc.gov/STD/

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

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1-800-234-0420

Facebook.com/knowyourline

ON-CAMPUS ASSISTANCE

MINDSHIFT Find it on iTunes

Grades, friends, family, significant others and…um, everything…stressing you out?

Get some assistance with your anxiety via this app! MindShift provides strategies to deal with every issue you could possibly face in college, including test anxiety, perfectionism, social and performance anxiety, worry, panic, and conflict. Don’t let the stress get you down; download this app and face that anxiety head-on!

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 17

TOP TEN

WORDS: SAHAR WALJI

WAYS TO START

FRESH THIS YEAR 2. DELETE ALL PHONE CONTACTS Sometimes you have to take extreme measures…plus, people suck 3. POST GYM PICS ON INSTA Snap a mirror pic in your skimpiest gym outfit (no actual workout required) 4. SHOW YOUR STUDY SKILLS Check in at the lib with #studygrind so everyone knows what a diligent student you are

5. CHANGE YOUR TUMBLR URL This is practically like changing your legal name 6. TRY GOING GOTH Go cray at HotTopic so everyone knows how “unconventional” you are

9. REPLACE KEYSTONE WITH BUD LIGHT Nothing demonstrates maturity like a slightly less shitty beer

09.

10. CHANGE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER New year, new genitals!

collegehumor.com

1. TWEET “NEW YEAR, NEW ME” Did your year really start if you didn’t tweet that exactly at midnight?

7. GO ON A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY AKA download the Eat, Pray, Love soundtrack and buy a yoga mat 8. FORGET YOUR SEXUAL HISTORY Pre-2015 sex doesn’t count, so—boom!— you’re a born-again virgin

03. dwayne johnson

01.

07.

growingleaders.com

im p aw ard s.c

om

04.

04.

06.

shutterstock.com

howdidibecomeagoth.wordpress.com

05. texting.pbworks.com

02.

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tumblr.com

readunwritten.com

10.

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HOT OR NOT

SPRING BREAK EDITION

WORDS: JOEY SUMPTER

superiorpics.com

Hooking up with multiple girls and feeling like a G

galleryhip.com

Bonging beers at a record pace

ucsb.edu

Being sexually responsible and always wearing a latex

driverlayer.com

Fist-pumping and fulfilling all your raging needs

huffingtonpost.com

car-memes.com

Looking super-hot with your clothes on or off

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Entering a dance contest and getting weird without fear JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

driverlayer.com

Waiting to find out if the new bump on your lip is simplex A or B

galleryhip.com

Having one too many and vomiting all over the place

galleryhip.com

Wearing a white bathing suit and forgetting your Playtex

goodtimeswithjess.com

Being the creepy old perv that offers girls beads

kidfocused.com

Forgetting sunscreen so your nose is red like Rudolph’s

sky-high.keuf.net.com

Showing your boobs to weird bros for free beer

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE STUDENT LIVING

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VOTE

TODAY for your favorites in student living

FO YOUR FAVORITES FOR IN STUDENT LIVING G VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITES AT STUDYBREAKS.COM

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 21

HOW TO

WORDS: SAHAR WALJI

5 STEPS FOR A

SPRING BREAK FLING

wikipedia commons

sky-high.keuf.net.com

It’s Spring Break, and you’re single and ready to mingle. (Or maybe in a relationship and still ready to mingle—we’re not here to judge.) But unfortunately, scoring literal sex on the beach isn’t as easy as simply ordering the cocktail, and it’s going to take a lot more than a beer bong and some subpar pick-up lines to help you meet your Spring Break soulmate. So to help you out with this sexy mission, we’ve outlined five steps that are scientifically proven* to get you some. (*Note: we’re not scientists.)

4. MAKE IT FACEBOOK OFFICIAL Won’t it be a great surprise when your fling checks Facebook and realizes that the two of you are actually in a relationship? Who cares if you’ve only known them for three days. It’s not creepy—it’s commitment!

2. CREATE A FAKE PERSONALITY Spring Break is only one week, so why not create an entirely different alter ego? Start using French phrases like “Je t’aime” to make them think you’re exotic.

(We figure you’ve got the French kissing down.)

imgkid.com

pics.4ever.eu.com

wundergroundmusic.com

1. STALK THEM ‘TIL THEY CAVE Stare shamelessly, follow them on all forms of social media (and, uh, literally), and consider attaching a GPS locator to their bathing suit.

Fate is sure to bring you together if you’re within seven feet of them 24/7.

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3. CRY DURING SEX Show them how much they mean to you by breaking into sobs mid-sex. Make sure to blubber things like “This is so beautiful!” “You’re my first!” and “We’re going to be together forever!” People love that shit.

5. SAY THOSE THREE WORDS You need to end the week on a dramatic note!

Say “I Love You” and present them with a small token of your affection, like a lock of hair…or a handkerchief…or a used condom.

Ah, romance.

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 23

CAMPUS VIBE

PHOTOS: AMAR GUPTA

WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?

“I didn’t learn how to ride a bike until I was 12—the first time I did it I fell and a rock got stuck in my knee.

The exact same thing happened to my older sister four years ago.”

“I fall down going UP the stairs to class all the time.”

Samantha Dalrymple, 19 Hometown: Houston Major: Biology

Ryan Ramsey, 21 Hometown: Nederland Major: Radio-Television-Film

“I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went...then it dawned on me.”

“Last summer I was in China talking to my Cambodian friend, when a Chinese man approached her with a question. In his native tongue, I told him that she didn’t speak Chinese. He was shocked to hear me speak his language.”

Catherine Swantner, 20 Hometown: Beaumont Major: Speech Therapy, with a minor in French

Scott Wells, 24

“I’m learning the minion language from Despicable Me.”

Victoria Vuong, 20 Hometown: Sugarland Major: Psychology

“I was really hungry this one time in genetics class, and my stomach rumbled the moment everyone was quiet. Everyone turned around and looked at me...it was pretty awkward.”

Cidia Gonzalez, 19 Hometown: San Benito Major: Biology

Hometown: San Angelo Major: Aerospace Engineering

“When I have trouble getting out of bed, I’ll fart underneath my sheets like crazy, and then stick my head underneath to force myself out.”

Jude Tidwell, 25 Hometown: San Antonio Major: Radio-Television-Film

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CAMPUS CRUSH PHOTO: AARON MOORE

BRENNAH

BLACKWELDER hometown: Houston major: Broadcast Journalism AGE: 19

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: SINGLE HEIGHT: 5’4”

FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM @KITTYISODD

MEET BRENNAH JIf I were an animal, I would be a brightly colored tropical frog because they can absorb water through their skin. I think that’s pretty cool.

JI never leave the house without shoes, money and a smile.

JI feel sexiest when I’m sweating it out at the gym.

JMy dream job is to be a news anchorwoman or a famous actress.

JMy celebrity crush is Kurt Cobain.

JMy guilty pleasure is watching American Horror Story while cuddling with my French bulldog, Rusko.

JMy go-to drink is Topo Chico.

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

JThe quote I live by is “Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” (Roger Crawford) JThe craziest thing I’ve ever experienced is Deadmau5’s set the first time I went to his show as a freshman in high school.

JSomething people would be surprised to know about me is I have been tumbling/ cheerleading since the age of six.

JMy friends/family make fun of me because I have a deep voice when laugh.

JOne word I would pick to describe myself is odd.

JIn 10 years, I’ll be living a prosperous life in Beverly Hills, CA.

JThe best pick-up line I’ve ever heard is “Did you sit on a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!”

JMy perfect date would be at the beach with a person who makes me feel super special, and we would drink red wine and share secrets with each other.

JThe perfect guy is intellgent, hilarious and fresh.

JIf a guy wants to get my attention, he should talk to me about anything interesting.

Want to nominate a Campus Crush?

EMAIL SAMANTHA@STUDYBREAKS.COM

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 27

GUY TALK WORDS: GABE

LOVE&SEX

NEW YEAR’S FROM A DUDE’S PERSPECTIVE RESOLUTIONS: DATING EDITION

GABE, A REAL-LIFE

COLLEGE GUY, TELLS US WHAT’S ON HIS MIND EACH MONTH Finding Nemo: Dating in College At this point in most of our lives, we’ve gone through breakups and, undoubtedly, have at one point or another heard the phrase ‘There are plenty of fish in the sea.” And while this statement is definitely true, not just any fish will do. There are many different kinds of fish in the sea, and not all of them are just your type or have your best interests in mind.

On top of that, all of these fish are crammed together in overcrowded dorms, cafeterias, and classrooms, while you try to survive this heartbreak aquarium.

the mind of a good-looking, confident and ambitious guy who has been—and still is—active in the quick-flowing current of college dating.

Now, if guys were fish, we probably wouldn’t be the smartest creatures under the sea, but we are surprisingly bright when it comes to dating. In fact, because there are so many women out there, we often take shortcuts to make the dating process easier. There are three main qualities that we are automatically attracted to when it comes to finding girls to date: confidence, wit and class. If you can be confident in who you are, quick on your feet in conversation, and value and respect yourself, then you will be pleasantly surprised at the quality of the fish that may swim your way.

The best advice I can give is, whatever type of fish you’re looking for, make sure you and your friend, bae or booty call communicate and establish what you are (and are not), so that you

This iis why I’m here: to give you a behindhin the-scenes perspective from the mind of a the-s good-looking, odconfident and ambitiouss guy... guy.

One of the hardest moments I ever had was when I had to take down the relationship status on my Facebook after a breakup with my year-long girlfriend freshman year. Since then, I have been in every type of “talking,” dating, friends with benefits, and one-nightstand situation that college has to offer. Now, after going through the roller coaster of highs and lows, I have a good understanding of how college dating works. This is why I’m here: to give you a behind-the-scenes perspective from 28

JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

Ladies, reinvent your love life in 2015 with these dating tips from Gabe…

BE DRESSED TO IMPRESS

Dress up a little more than what the occasion requires. Obviously don’t wear high heels to go hiking, but generally speaking, the better you dress, the better you will be treated.

BE ON TIME

Being late is a huge turn-off. Whether you are meeting him somewhere or getting picked up, be punctual. The whole “fashionably late” thing does not apply here.

BE POSITIVE

Everyone likes to be around positive people, and guys are no different. Being optimistic and upbeat will make for a great time and a callback after.

BE GRATEFUL

No matter if he buys you a nice dinner or rents a Red Box movie to watch, thank him for it.

Guys are naturally providers, and appreciating that can do wonders.

BE YOU

You have to be able to love yourself before you can love somebody else. Be you, love you, and if it doesn’t work out, it’s okay. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

don’t end up like a fish out of water.

With that in mind, throw yourself out there.

Go out on the weekends, meet new people, and learn to navigate the tides of the fast-paced, ever-changing world of college dating. Keep these things in mind as you explore the many opportunities in this deep, blue sea— They’ll come in handy when it’s time to find your own Nemo.

GOT A QUESTION FOR GABE? HOLLER AT Guytalk@studybreaks.com

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 29

STYLE

COMPILED BY: SYDNEY SLOAN PHOTOS: AARON MOORE

WORK IT

WHILE YOU

WORK OUT

It’s 2015, and this is finally the year that you stick to your get-fit resolutions! (No, really, seriously this time…SERIOUSLY.) And with your New Year’s plan to get in shape, you’re well on your way to getting the hottest of bods—meaning, of course, you need the hottest of workout wear. So toss out those stretched-out sports bras, kick those crusty tennis shoes to the curb, and donate that digital watch—a 2006 gift from Grandma—to Goodwill. We’ve compiled some essentials for you here that guarantee you’ll be looking stylish while you sweat it out… and while you’re eating that pizza afterwards.

THE TECH

Count cals with functional wristwear...

Zip Wireless Activity Tracker, $60 fitbit.com

Nike+ Fuelband SE, $149 nike.com

Misfit Flash, $50 misfit.com

Up, $80 jawbone.com

Runtastic Orbit, $120 runtastic.com

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

THE TOP

Beat the bounce with badass sports bras...

Saucony Apparel Curve Crusader, $45 saucony.com

Adidas Apparel Supernova Racer Bra, $40 adidas.com

Nike Apparel Nike Pro Core Bra, $35 ladyfootlocker.com

Color Spill Wonderland Women’s UA Eclipse Bra, $40 underarmour.com

The Ultimate by Victoria’s Secret Sport Bra, $53 victoriassecret.com

THE SHOES

Hit the ground running in stylish sneaks...

New Balance 867, $80 newbalance.com

SL Loop Runner Shoes, $75 adidas.com

Women’s Ultra Trail, $110 thenorthface.com

UA SpeedForm RC Running Shoes, $120 underarmour.com

Reebok Crossfit Athlete, $119 reebok.com

MEET THE MODEL

TAYLOR YANCEY, 22 HOMETOWN: Montgomery MAJOR: Photography STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 31

GUY STYLE

COMPILED BY: PETER SCALES PHOTOS: AARON MOORE

YOUR 2015

WORKOUT

WARDROBE When you hit the gym, you’re more focused on sweating than style, but fortunately, fashion doesn’t necessarily have to take a backseat to fitness. There’s plenty of workout wear that doesn’t just feel good, but looks good, and we’ve compiled some options here to ensure your dress game is on point when you hit the weight room (or track, treadmill, basketball court…).

After all, if you’re going to be putting gym selfies on your Tinder profile, you should probably upgrade from that sweat-stained white tee.

LEG UP

Contain those quads and calves in badass bottoms…

Nike’s Fundamental Split Shorts, $15 citysports.com

Arc’teryx Stride Tights, $99 rei.com

Adidas Downtown Shorts, $28 citysports.com

Sports Pants, $35 hm.com

Jordan Cat Scratch Basketball Shorts, $30 footaction.com

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TOP OF THE LINE

Look good from the waist up while you put those weights up…

Sport Shirt, $30 hm.com

Nike Graphic Compression Top, $45 nike.com

Just Do It Tank Top, $18 sportsauthority.com

Sonic Fitted Short Sleeve T-shirt, $30 underarmour.com

Elite Running Jersey, $120 dickssportinggoods.com

SICK KICKS

So the competition has something to admire when you leave them in the dust…

Faas 700 V2 Running Shoes, $75 puma.com

Nike Kobe IX EM, $170 footlocker.com

Nike Zoom Speed Training Shoes, $90 finishline.com

Nike Air Zoom Running Shoes, $90 modells.com

MEET THE MODEL KSO Evo Five Finger Shoes, $90 vibramfivefingers.com

KHOI LE, 20 HOMETOWN: Houston MAJOR: Bio Chemistry (Pre-Optometry) STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 33

SPRING BREAK STEROTYPES WORDS: SAHAR WALJI AND SAM SUMPTER PHOTOS: AARON MOORE

THE

DON’T BE THAT GUY

SIX SPRING BREAKERS WE ALL KNOW & DESPISE

THE GIRL WHO WEARS A BIKINI WITH HEELS Unless you’re starring in a sub-par indie film alongside Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson, there’s no reason to be dressed like a hooker.

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

DOUCHE With a Beer Bong

Warning: may cause nudity and slurred speech.

THE

MEATHEAD

Who’s a Little Over-Aggressive When you offered me a drink, I didn’t think you meant a cup of your whey protein shake…

THE

LOOK-AT-ME

THE

BRO

THE

ASSHOLE

Girl Who Made a T-Shirt Just for Spring Break

Decked Out in a Million Mardi Gras beads

With a Camera in Front of Their Face the Entire Time

Great, it’s homecoming week in high school all over again.

Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the jingling of your 100+ necklaces.

Click, click, snap! More like click, click, I’ll snap your neck if that picture of me doing a keg stand ends up on the Internet.

DON’T: Fly first class

WHAT YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN US OR SOMETHING!!? Well you

can take that complimentary champagne and shove it up your….Okay, fine, we’re just jealous.

DO: Hook up with a stranger

What happens on South Padre Island, stays on South Padre Island…well, most things…shit, actually you better demand some test results.

SPRING BREAK DO’S AND DON’TS DO: Roadtrip

There are very few occasions when you get to spend hours at a time in super-close confines with your best friends…Oh wait, that’s just dorm life, lolz.

DON’T: Hook up with your friend

So you got naked and banged your BFF in a hot tub—nbd. WRONG. Things will never be the same and one of you is like “hey, I love you” and the other one’s like “whoa! I thought we were just drunk” and then it’s super awkward and the friendship is doomed for eternity and you lose all the mutual friends in the divorce and so you drop out and die alone and get eaten alive by your cats. (Just us?) Whatever…keep it in your swim trunks, bro.

DO: Eat

Oh, you think you can live on a diet of beer and bodily fluids all week? Aw, that’s cute…and actually really disgusting. Grab a sandwich, y’all. Carb up so you can get dowwwwn.

DON’T: Eat drugs

“This guy knows where to buy those tiny Ziploc bags—he must be legit!” Um, no, and there’s a 95% chance you’re eating meth-infused Pez. Don’t take candy from strangers, kids.

DO: Go with the flow

If your new BFF Brittneigh (because of course it’s spelled like that) offers you the opp to take body shots out of her bedazzled belly button onstage, you better f—king say yes. CARPE THAT DIEM!

DON’T: Document anything

“BRITTNEIGH YOU BETTER NOT PUT THAT VIDEO OF ME GRINDING ON THAT OLD GUY IN THE SPEEDO ON INSTAGRAM!” That betch.

DO: Get rowdy

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…

MORE!

DON’T: Get arrested

Sex on the hotel balcony is the best…until you get busted for indecent exposure and cockblocked via cuffs.

What are YOUR Spring Break do’s and dont’s? TWEET US AND LET US KNOW @STUDYBREAKS STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 35

SPRING BREAK CONFESSIONS COMPILED BY: SB STAFF PHOTOS: STEPHEN DEMENT PHOTOGRAPHY

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SPRING BREAK-UP

LOSING IT

SOY STRANGE

“Once I thought it would be good to go back and see my girlfriend at home during the break. I call and tell her my plans, and she seems super pumped for it and everything. So I pack all my bags and drive down there to see her, and once I get there, she breaks up with me. Like, right there. We had made all these plans and everything, and she just dumps me.

She kept saying that she had been thinking about it for a while and thought she could try and stick through Spring Break, but she just couldn’t. So she just dumps me, after all of that. Needless to say, I was extremely upset and drove back the next day after an awkward night at her place.”

“I drank, smoked, and had sex for the first time–all in one day–on my first college Spring Break .After getting smashed, I went back to my room, and the two girls my friends had ditched were there taking a shower. I’m still not sure how it happened, but I ended up losing my V-card in a bathtub with two girls.”

“I woke up in some Asian lady’s house covered in soy sauce on the other side of town from my hotel. I had no idea what had happened, but apparently I had loudly proclaimed to my friends that I wanted to be a wonton and disappeared.

I guess I got my wish.”

–Anonymous SEX ON THE BEACH “I witnessed a foursome on the beach… Didn’t know those existed outside of the adult indu industry.”

-Derek

-Matt EROTIC INVITE “I was at a rager at Gulf Shores when I saw this red-headed girl Jersey-turnpiking on a huge football player for, I kid you not, two hours straight. Suddenly, my face was being caressed, and I turned to see the guy giving me a “come “ hither” look… but Red was still supposed to there! I was so confused. Was I suppo replace her? Join them? I got so awkward awkw I just ust stared at them for 10-15 seconds and then walked away.”

-Adele

-Alicia RUDE AWAKENING “My friend and I couldn’t find anywhere to sleep in the super-crowded beach house, so we went and slept in the back of my Yukon. It was hot, and we were wasted. When I woke up, massively hungover, I heard rd this t super-wet r-wet splashy sound—and my windshield was now covered in neon green vomit. I poked my head out and saw my friend on the balcony. When I told him we were in there, he didn’t respond, but instead continued to barf on my car and wave. We were stuck in theree for a solid hour.”

-Laura STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 37

UR-INE TROUBLE “Me and some friends got plastered out on the street, and I peed in public and totally bribed the officer to get out of going to Mexican prison. We even ended up getting kisses and hugs from the lady officer, as well as a free ride back to the hotel on the back of the pick-up! “

-Carlos CÓMO SE DICE…REBOUND? “My junior year, me and some friends went to Cancun for spring break. My boyfriend went too, and broke up with me right when we got there. I was crushed, so I went to a Tiki bar by myself the next day to try to get out and relax, and this guy uy came ame up to me aand told me how he saw mee cryingg with a guy g yesterday. yyest I told him what happened, ed, and he said that myy ex was stupid. pid. We ended up spending the entire eentir ntire gether—mostly ether—mostly h tl att the th hotel. h t l At the th h end week together—mostly m my fri ends at of the week, he took me to meet friends the airport irport and said that, as crazy as it sounded, he loved me. He then smiled, kissed me… and left without my phone number.”

-Brittany LOVE BOAT “I went on a cruise to the Dominican Republic over Spring Break with my parents, and one of our cruise ship tour guides was probably in her mid-20s and really hot. We were flirting the entire time and ended up hooking up in one of the pools on the last night.”

–Jonny

I see him hi puking his brains out on the beach while o other Spring Breakers are laughing ing at him and dousing him with beer. r.

“BROS BEFORE HOS” “I was making out with a super-hot girl from Louisville in a bay in Panama City Beach when I get a text from my friend saying “get to the car now.” So I’m like, ‘WTF this better be important.’ I go out and see the car has the tailgate and all the doors open, but my friend was nowhere to be found. I walk around and see him puking his brains out on the beach 38

JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

while other Spring Breakers ers are lau laughing hing at him and dousing him with beer. So I’m like, ‘Do I get my friend out of here or do I go back to the super hot Louisville chick?’ In one of my most heroic moments, I foolishly decide ‘bros before hos’ and get my boy in the car and drive him back to the hotel while he’s puking out the window and drunk kids on the street are cheering him on.”

-Anonymous

STING BREAK

LOST NIGHT

“I had been babysitting for this family for about six months when they invited me to go to Hawaii with them. It was a pretty sweet deal considering I was getting this free trip and all I had to do was watch their four-year-old twins. I was out swimming with the little ones when I felt a stinging/ burning sensation on my leg. It was a jell fish and I flipped shit. I ran out of the water screaming and crying (because it hurt like hell), and the kids were super freaked out.

I was really, really scared because I thought that I was probably oobab ob b going to die from this.

That’s when that people sayy n I remembered r the remedy for dy fo o a jellyfish burn is urine, and in my incredibly iincred e ddiblyy irrational irratio rrational nal n al state, I asked ed one off the h four-year-old four f year year-old old lldd ki kkids to o pee on my leg. Looking L kii g back, b ck, k I realize realiz li how h ow traumati experience must have been for ing this exp them… So yeah, my lowest point in life was probably when I commanded a four-year-old child to pee on me.”

“Last year, I took bars in Houston with my friends. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hotel room in Austin the next morning with pictures of a Schoolboy Q concert on my phone that I apparently had been at… I have no recollection of it whatsoever.”

–Anonymous PARTY CRASHERS “One Spring Break, we had a party at my friend’s when his parents went ent to Colorado. It turns out, their flight had gott got gotten cancelled, but none of us knew that. Soo my friend’s parents showed up, and there wass a party part rtty going g on in the barn,, but sincee m my friend rii h hadd told them them he was going oing oi iing tto a ffriend’s frii d s house, friend h hous house u they th saw the he

lights on and thought people were breaking in.

They ended up calling the cops on all of us-and their own son.”

–Savannah S BAD INK “At our ur high school, there was a girl everyone knew for alll the wrong reasons. She did a lot oof crazy shit, and then en proceeded to tell everyone about the crazy shit that she did, so that’s how I know this story. Apparently, ntly, during Spring Sp Break, she got drunk with a bunch of her friends. she had wanted a tattoo for a while, and Anyway, sh with her alcohol aalcohol-induced induced ced confidence, she decided it was finally fi lly time too gett one one. On her collarbone she got somee really really pretentio preten pretentious en n phrase written in cursive. cursive ee. I think hin hink iink n it i was wa ‘Only God Can Judge Me.’”

–Anonymous

-Anonymous WALK OF SHAME “I went to South Padre Island, and I got completely nude, went bungee jumping off a bridge with two European guys, and stayed with one if them all night. When I woke up, I didn’t know where my clothes were, and had to run all the way back to my hotel with nothing on but his dress shirt. To make things worse, I had no shoes and my hotel was about four blocks away.”

-Anonymous

PHOTO EVIDENCE “I went to South Padre two years ago with a bunch of my sorority sisters. I don’t remember the night, but apparently I let some dudes snort a line of cocaine off my stomach, and my friends had pictures to prove it. I had to BEG them to delete the pictures. It was horrible.”

–Anonymous STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 39

COLLEGE COVER GIRL WINNER PHOTOS: STEVEN DEMENT PHOTOGRAPHY

20 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR 2015 COLLEGE COVER GIRL WINNER

SEAN SYDNEY JOHNSON, 20 Hometown: Houston Major: Public Relations with a minor in Health Communication

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

1. WHAT’S IN A NAME My full name is Sean Sydney Johnson! I go by Sean, Sydney, Syd, Jeezy, SJ…it varies. I’m named after Sean Elliot from the San Antonio spurs because I was born at Fort Lackland. My mom’s not just a cray-cray Spurs fan, but a Cowboys fan, too. She almost named me Emmitt for Emmitt Smith.

2. ON THE GO-GO I’ve been a professional Go-Go dancer since I was 17 and currently Go-Go at [a bar] every weekend.

I also practice pole work and aerial silks in my free time.

3. DEAN’S LIST I go to Texas State University (Eat em up!), and I’ve been on the Dean’s List the last three seme ters, and made a 4.0 in spring 2014.

4. SLITHERING SIDEKICK I love my son, a Tangerine Honduran Milksnake named Fuego.

5. GLOBETROTTIN’ In May 2015, I plan to travel to Cambodia with a leadership program called EDventure. I’ll be involved with environment conservation activities, building facilities for running water, and teaching children in a rural hill tribe.

6. EDM FANATIC Electronic Dance Music has my heart and soul. I have been to Electric Zoo in New York, Kandy Fest in California, and have tickets to Ultra in Miami just to see my

favorite producers. (I’ve twerked on stage for DIPLO--just sayin’.)

7. LEADERSHIP I’ve been a mentor and PAL for an organization called Bobcat Preview for the last two years at Texas State. It helps freshmen, as well as transfers, get adjusted, motivated and prepared for their semester, which increases Texas State’s retention rate.

9. MIXED MESSAGE I’m EXTREMELY mixed. My mom is of both Mexican and Spanish decent, while my dad has African American as well as Mohican roots.

10. BODY ART I have 20 piercings and six tattoos. My most recent piercing was a dermal in my neck. It ripped out (sad face), but I’ll probably get it done again soon.

11. BRIGHT FUTURE After I graduate, I plan on either using my degree to work with a non-profit organization specializing in Multiple Sclerosis literacy, prevention and cures, or join the Peace Corps

and provide service internationally to people in need.

12. EARTH CHILD I love Mother Nature, and I’m constantly outside. I love the earth and all of her cre tures-- I’m even a pescetarian going vegetarian. I tried growing a garden, but I forgot my plants at a rental house…I’ll try again, no worries.

13. H-TOWN, STAY DOWN I’m from Houston (also known as: Screwstone, Mo City, H-Tine hol it dine). I’m pretty nice, but considering this fact, it’s obvious I still have a little trill in me.

14. PARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS? I want to live in Europe at some point of my life. My roomies and I started the Francois Rosetta Stone, because France would be awesome, but we only did it for like an hour. We know, like, three verbs, so we’d literally only be drinking, walking and running…

15. GOOD TASTE I think Nutella is the best thing ever invented.

16. MUSIC & MOHAWKS When I become a famous DJ/producer, I’m going to shave the sides of my head and have a long, curly mohawk. Keep a look out for that.

17. BE LIKE BEY I have a million sides to me. One day I’m feeling edgy, other days I’m feeling chola, and sometimes I feel like Beyoncé. Mostly I tend to feel Beyoncé-y.

18. SPORTS TALK I tore my ACL when I was 14 while I was playing competitive soccer. I played a lot of sports growing up. and I still love watching soccer or basketball.

19. HOMAGE TO HENDRIX I want my first child (daughter or son) to have the name Jimi Axis after Jimi Hendrix. If I find out anyone takes this name, I will find you and cut chu’.

20. ALL NATURAL And, yes…my hair is naturally this curly and crazy.

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 41

5 FITNESS TIPS FROM OUR 2015 COVER MODEL 5 GET-FIT TIPS SEAN’S ADVICE FOR MAINTAINING A BANGIN’ BOD 1. STAY ACTIVE My job is dope because I’m able to exercise, party and have fun at the same time. When I’m not working, though, I like paddleboarding, longboarding and yoga.

2. EAT HEALTHY! One of my roomies and I are pescetarians and are trying sooo hard to become vegetarians like our other roommate. We typically eat organic to make sure we get the nutrients we need and never eat fast food.

3. TAKE SMART SUPPLEMENTS I started taking a probiotic supplement 42

called Collostrum Plus recently. It has growth factors that basically save your immune system, and it’s all natural. I’d typically have, like, four colds by now, but this has seriously saved the day.

4. GET A POLE I ordered a Carmen Elektra Fitness Pole off eBay and YouTube routines and exercises. I seriously have abs and crazy strength now--you need that to learn this stuff.

5. DANCE I dance all the time.

At work, downtown or at a rave, I’m always dancing. I think I just do a lot of random things because I have so much energy, so thankfully this mixture equals a decent body.

JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM: @SJEEZYYY

5 SONGS SEAN HAS ON REPEAT RIGHT NOW 1. “TELL ME” Giraffage 2. “ASSETS” Yellow Claw & Tropkillaz

3. “CARESS ME DOWN” Sublime 4. “TAKE ME OUT” Franz Ferdinand 5. “JUST A DOG” Big Moe

SEAN PLAYS WOULD YOU RATHER: SPRING BREAK EDITION

and Miley’s like fun-crazy, but kind of a spaz too…I’ll say Miley because Hannah Montana was my show dude.

WOULD YOU RATHER...

PLAY SLAP-THE-BAG WITH WARM FRANZIA OR BEER BONG WARM KEYSTONE? Franzia, all the way. I could never not slap the bag. Plus, no me gusta cerveza.

WOULD YOU RATHER...

SEE YOUR MOM ON GIRLS GONE WILD OR HAVE HER SEE YOU? I’d wanna see my mom for sure. She just got her boobs done, and those things look like basketballs.

WOULD YOU RATHER...

GET STUCK ON A SKI LIFT IN COLORADO WITH JUSTIN BIEBER OR A TINY BOAT IN CANCUN WITH MILEY CYRUS? Justin’s kinda cute, but kinda douchey,

nipples? Might get thrown a bead, or four.

WOULD YOU RATHER...

SHARE A BEACH HOUSE WITH THE CAST OF JERSEY SHORE OR DUCK DYNASTY? I’d say Jersey Shore circa Season One when everyone came in all crusty, turnt and fun before they had thousands of dollars for no reason.

WOULD YOU RATHER...

LOSE YOUR TOP IN THE OCEAN OR YOUR BOTTOM? I’d say top. Eh, really, what are some

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 43

COVER GIRL RUNNER-UP

FACTS + PHOTOS PROVIDED BY: KELEIGH GRAHMANN

MEET OUR COLLEGE COVER GIRL RUNNER-UP

KELEIGH GRAHMANN AGE: 22 HOMETOWN: H HO OMETOW W N: Sweet Home MAJOR: Business Management

FUN FACTS! I grew up with two older brothers, so I definitely have a tomboy side.

I have a big and sloppy mud hole in my pasture, so you can guess where I spend my time when it rains!

I became “instafamous” by taking my country-style pics with a self-timer on my phone and a ladder as my photographer! To this day, that is still my photographer!

I recently donated one of my kidneys to my oldest brother! I am a living donor.

I can still do a round-off flip-flop back tuck after eight years of no practice.

All my free time when I am not busy with school or work is spent fishing, catching hogs, hunting & snapping new pics..

I am very family-oriented and look for support from them in everything I do.

i get down & dirty chasing and dir catching pigs (wild hogs) with th my dogs!

I have a blueberry muffin addiction!

Softball had my heart my whole highschool career.

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM: @KELEIGHSHAYY @KE KELEIGHSHAYY

Beach side resort with private beach access and next door to the largest beach bar in Texas, Claytons Beach Bar and Grill.

6200 Padre Blvd, South Padre Island, Texas 78597 | (956) 761-4744 | (866) 601-6200 | travelodgespi.com

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 45

SPRING BREAK BODY COMPILED BY: SB STAFF

MOTIVATION ATIO MONDAY DAY

And…um, …um um,, every ever ev err y day. Stayy inspired insp in spir irred with w wi th these t hese ese motiva motivational tion ti onal all sayings! ayin ay ings gs!! (We recommend reco re omm mmen end d you make ma ke posters…) pos o te ers r …) …

GO O RUNN RUNNING U

#MOTIVATIONMONDAY

It’s tthe he O Only Way to Escape Your Problems

WHAT TO EAT WHEN

BE A BADASS! Or You’ll Have a Fat Ass

WORK HARD Nap Harder

IF THIS WERE EASY… They’d Call it Your Mom

KEEP GOING! (That’s What She Said)

DO SQUATS Get an Ass to Match That Sass

DO MORE THAN THAT GUY FROM LAST NIGHT… Finish.

Whatever the occasion, we’ve got snacks to keep you satisfied…

WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING SWEET...

Think of frozen fruit as nature’s ice cream…but instead of flavors like Rocky Road, you’ve got berries and bananas, which come as close to the real thing as you’re going to get. At any rate, it ought to satisfy your craving.

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WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO WORK OUT...

Before you head to the gym, remember that carbs are your best friend. But not like, French fries.

You don’t want to be sweating grease when you hit the elliptical.

Go for a good ol’ peanut butter and banana sandwich,

JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

which is a perfect mix of simple and complex carbs.

WHEN YOU CAN’T WAIT ANOTHER 2 HOURS FOR DINNER...

Pretzels are crunchy, salty and satisfying—and have enough carbs to hold you over until your next meal.

WHEN YOU’RE PULLING AN ALL-NIGHTER...

Your brain works off of glucose, so a steady stream of Cheerios (which have just enough sugar) will help you stay alert without the inevitable crash that comes with caffeine.

WHEN YOU JUST WORKED OUT...

Yogurt contains enough protein and amino acids to build up your muscles after a long session of sweating it out. Yogurt contains protein; protein makes you happy; happy muscles don’t atrophy. They just don’t.

WHEN YOU’RE SITTING IN CLASS...

Peppermint has been known to have memory-enhancing properties, so suck on some peppermint candies when you’re sitting in a class that usually kicks your ass.

DRIVE-THRU DECISIONS The best—and the worst—items on fast-food menus. Pick wisely!

MCDONALD’S ORDER: Premium Caesar Salad with Grilled Chicken + Fruit and Yogurt (375 calories) OPT OUT: Big Mac (530 calories) TACO BELL ORDER: Fresco Steak Burrito Supreme with Black Beans (430 calories) OPT OUT: XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito (880 calories) SUBWAY ORDER: 6” Oven-Roasted Chicken Salad Sub with Tomatoes, Green Peppers, Onions, Olives and Cucumbers + Yogurt Parfait (400 calories) OPT OUT: 6” Meatball Pepperoni Melt (600 calories) lories)

10 WAYS TO BURN CALORIES

WITHOUT REALLY TRYING

Working out has the word “working” in it for a

CHIPOTLE ORDER: Vegetarian Burrito Bowl with Brown Rice, Black Beans, Fajita Vegetables, Lettuce and Roasted Chili-Corn Salsa (365 calories) OPT OUT: Burrito with Carnitas, Cilantro-Lime Rice, Sour Cream, Roasted Chili-Corn Salsa and Cheese (910 Calories) KFC ORDER: Kentucky Grilled Chicken Breast + Mashed Potatoes (310 calories) OPT OUT: Large Popcorn Chicken ken n (5600 calories)

BURGER KING ORDER: Whopper Jr. (No Mayo) + Value-Sized Onion Rings (410 calories) OPT OUT: Double Whopper with Cheese (990 calories) WENDY’S ORDER: Large Chili + Garden Side Salad (375 calories) OPT OUT: The Baconator (970 calories)

THE EXERCISE: Vacuuming HOW MUCH YOU BURN: 170 calories/hr Kill two birds with one stone and score a tidy house and trim physique.

THE EXERCISE: Chewing HOW MUCH YOU BURN: 11 calories/hr Just don’t chew on, like, Cheetos. That kinda defeats the purpose.

THE EXERCISE: Taking the Stairs HOW MUCH YOU BURN: 10 calories/min You get both the benefits of being healthy and avoiding the awkward elevator ride with your dorm’s resident creep.

THE EXERCISE: Dancing HOW MUCH YOU BURN: 100 calories/hr Burn up those calories while you burn it up on the dance floor.

THE EXERCISE: Laughing HOW MUCH YOU BURN: 1 calorie/min Chuckling>Chub

THE EXERCISE: Sleeping HOW MUCH YOU BURN: 95 calories/hr Welp, there’s the solution to the gym vs. nap debate.

reason…namely, because it’s not fun-so trick yourself into exercise with these sneaky ways to burn some serious cals!

THE EXERCISE: Bowling HOW MUCH YOU BURN: 100 calories/30 min A great social outing, whether your game consists of strikes or gutter balls, you’ll have enough burnt calories to spare.

THE EXERCISE: Singing HOW MUCH YOU BURN: 100 calories/hr Get fit while you prepare for your audition on The Voice. #TEAMADAM

THE EXERCISE: Kissing HOW MUCH YOU BURN: 90 calories/hr If the make-out session gets passionate enough, you can snog your way to a sick bod.

THE EXERCISE: Sex HOW MUCH YOU BURN: 144 calories/30 min As if you needed another reason to have sex...

Let’s be honest: it’s great even without the added benefit of burning calories.

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 47

A LITTLE BODY POSITIVITY

MYTHBUSTERS

We asked eight students a simple question: “What do you love about your body?” Here’s what they had to say…

“My eyes, because they’re green and almond shaped.”

–Carolina Richardson, 20 HOMETOWN: San Antonio MAJOR: Biology

DIET EDITION

The say you shouldn’t believe everything you hear, and that’s exactly the case with these common misconceptions…

MYTH: CELERY HAS NEGATIVE CALORIES

“My shoulders, because they’re broad and give me a good frame.”

–Niloy Mukherjee, 22 HOMETOWN: Allen MAJOR: Chemical Engineering

TRUTH: Celery actually gives you a whole FIVE calories! (Terrible!) The only negative-calorie “food” is actually ice water—for scientific reasons, of course.

MYTH: CARBS MAKE YOU FAT

“Probably my height. I like being tall because it’s easier to see things in a crowded area and I’m able to reach places that other people can’t.”

-Mark Skol Jr., 19 HOMETOWN: Houston MAJOR: Journalism

TRUTH: There’s actually nothing innately fattening about carbs. Often, if you cut out good carbs, you’re cutting off your body’s main source of fuel!

Instead of just cutting the carbs, watch how many calories you ingest— that’s what really packs on the pounds.

MYTH: EATING LATE AT NIGHT CAUSES WEIGHT GAIN

“My legs, because they’re strong. They do all the work my upper body can’t and support me in so many everyday functions.”

-Jackie Vo, 19, HOMETOWN: Sugarland MAJOR: Finance “My metabolism, because I can eat whatever I want and however much I want, and nothing happens to my body.”

-Christian Roper, 18 HOMETOWN: Jacksonville MAJOR: Business

TRUTH: Actually, it doesn’t matter when you eat. Your body metabolizes things at the same general rate whenever you’re awake. What really matters is what you eat. An apple at 3:00 in the morning? Cool. Three chocolate-glazed donuts? Not so much.

MYTH: CRAVINGS HAPPEN BECAUSE YOU NEED A CERTAIN NUTRIENT THAT A CERTAIN FOOD PROVIDES TRUTH: Unless you’re a deer or moose, you don’t crave foods for their specific nutrients. Cravings in humans are typically the result of certain emotions, or occur when your diet is restrictive and boring or you know that you’re not allowed to eat something.

MYTH: YOU CAN EAT ALL YOU WANT, AS LONG AS IT’S HEALTHY

“My legs, because I have really nice calves.”

-Silvat Veerjee, 20 HOMETOWN: Carrollton MAJOR: Undeclared “I’ve learned to appreciate my curves instead of trying to minimize them.”

-Rachel Donovan, 18 HOMETOWN: Dallas MAJOR: Anthropology

TRUTH: Not necessarily. Brown rice and whole-wheat pasta have around the same amount of calories as their white versions, and avocados and nuts—while healthy fats—are actually high in calories. While eating healthy is advisable, it’s not a get-out-of-jail-fit card. When it comes to losing/gaining weight, think more along the lines of calories in, calories out.

MYTH: RAW FOODS ARE BETTER FOR YOU THAN THEIR COOKED COUNTERPARTS TRUTH: Not really. The proteins that are broken when food is heated are often broken by your stomach acid anyway, and cooking vegetables often boosts their antioxidant levels and makes fiber easier for our bodies to digest.

“My hair, because it’s very soft and fluffy.”

-Aafsar Dhuka, 21 HOMETOWN: Austin MAJOR: Finance

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

MYTH: SALADS ARE ALWAYS THE BEST CHOICE TRUTH: Vegetables are cool, but the toppings on your salad can negate any health benefits. For example, Panera Bread’s Fuji Chicken Apple Salad, with all the toppings, is actually less healthy than a double cheeseburger from McDonald’s.

THE

WO WORKOUT GAMES G

Put down the beer aand grab the protein! Here are workout-themed twists on classic drin drinking games that are guaranteed to get you fit…

PROTEIN E N PONG PO ONG The exact same rules as beer pong, but… ya know…minus the beer. Set your cups up in a pyramid formation, and try to get the ping-pong balls in the opposing team’s cups. If you make it, they have to chug the protein shake you’ve filled the cups with. For added fun, you can have additional penalties for the losing team (e.g. the losing team has to do push-ups).

FLIP-CUP RELAY This one is a team effort. Line up solo cups filled with water (because hydration is hella important) and begin the relay.

The first person chugs the water, uses two fingers to flip the cup, runs to a predetermined spot, and runs back and tags their next teammate in. That teammate does the same

thing, and so on and so on… until one team has every member finish.

KING’S N CHALLENGE C CHA LLE LENGE In this game, you’ll need a deck of cards and the determination to utterly destroy your competition. The players take turns picking a card, and must do whatever exercise has been designated to that card. You can even have the fun of picking out which card represents each exercise. Are you going to make the ace mean crunches all around? Will you make the jack a headstand competition? It’s up to you!

NEVER HAVE I EVER Ah, the classic game of disclosing sclosing your most terrible

secrets for the sake of the party. Play as usual, except for every time you “have ever,” you must do some sort of strenuous physical exercise.

THE TV V TEST OF STRENGTH STREN ENGTH Place a hat on the corner of your TV screen, and every time someone on the television appears to be wearing the hat, do some sit-ups.

This is a great way to finish that season of Friends, but still get some killer abs.

THE RIGHT WORKOUT FOR WHAT YOU WANT No matter what part of your body you want to pump up, we’ve got a workout for you here…

YOU WANT: An Ass That Breaks the Internet HOW TO GET IT: Squats! Squats! Squats! Squats! Squats! Squats!

EVERYBOOOO-DY! Put your feet about a foot wider than shoulder width apart, stick out your chest, and arch your back slightly to help with your posture and keep your weight on your heels. Tip: it helps to do this exercise in front of a chair so you can squat just enough to touch it with your butt, but not actually sit down.

YOU WANT: Killer Abs HOW TO GET IT: Planking (The Exercise, Y’all) If you’re just starting out, get into a push-up position and balance on your forearms (ensuring your body is straight…like a plank…and your butt isn’t raised up or sinking down) for 30-second intervals, without letting your stomach, thighs or knees touch the ground. When you’ve mastered this, increase the difficulty by moving up to your hands and holding a push-up position.

YOU WANT: Pecs Like Captain America HOW TO GET IT: The Clap Push-Up Get into a normal push-up position, and begin to lower yourself like you would normally. However, instead of just pushing yourself back up, use your explosive energy (yes, that’s a real thing) to push yourself into the air, clap your hands, and catch yourself before you fall on your face.

Attempt sets of five and work your way up.

YOU WANT: A Waistline Without Love Handles HOW TO GET IT: Medicine Ballz Get a medicine ball that’s between 7-12 pounds—whatever you’re most comfortable with—and get into a sit-up position. Then, lift your feet above the ground, sitting on your butt and using your abs to balance, and twist your torso back and forth. (Otherwise known as a Russian twist.)

YOU WANT: Killer Calves HOW TO GET IT: Hell…er, Heel Raises Find an elevated step and stand on it with the balls of your feet, leaving your heels hanging over the edge. Carefully lower your heels and then rise up onto your toes and back down again 30 times. (Be sure do this at the bottom of the steps, because gravity can be a bitch.)

YOU WANT: Toned Arms HOW TO GET IT: Make Resistance Cords Your Best Friend Grab a resistance cord and get in a sit-up position. Grab the cord on both sides and put one hand on the ground and one behind your head.

Then try to stretch the cord by raising your hand all the way up to target those upper-arm muscles. Switch arms after 15 times.

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 49

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ON E T O WAT CH , CH R IS Z U R ICH

MUSIC & MORE 10 SONG S T O D OW N L OA D NOW

AU S T I N

T H E B ES T L I V E S H OWS T H I S M O N T H L U BBO CK S A N A N T ON IO

S A N M A RCO S

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 51

MUSIC AROUND TEXAS: AUSTIN PICKS PROVIDED BY:

JAN 1-10 FREE WEEK @ Various Venues

OR FORGET MUSIC AND MAKE IT A MOVIE NIGHT!

You love live music— we know that. And the one thing better than dancing your ass off, drinking overpriced beer, and getting soaked in the sweat of strangers is when you’re doing it all for free. Well, get stoked you poverty-stricken audio junkies: this month the music gods are smiling upon us, and the city of Austin is making broke college kids’ dreams come true with a week of live shows at spots like Holy Mountain, Red 7 and more— all for $0. (Which basically means you can afford more overpriced beer.)

Enter to win a pair of passes to the Paramount at Studybreaks.com

JANUARY

JAN 1-10 FREE WEEK @ Various Venues

JAN 16 BEN HOWARD @ Austin Music Hall JAN 17 BRICKS IN THE WALL @ Emo’s

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

JAN 21 BAHAMAS @ Stubb’s

JAN 22 CRUEL HAND @ Red 7

JAN 24 JACK WHITE @ Austin Music Hall

JAN 29 G EAZY @ Emo’s

JAN 24 FAT TONY @ Holy Mountain

JAN 28 TESLA @ Stubb’s

JAN 30 WHITE ARROWS @ Stubb’s

JAN 30 YOU BLEW IT, TINY MOVING PARTS, ROZWELL KID @ Mohawk

MUSIC AROUND TEXAS: LUBBOCK JAN 10 LUKE WADE @ Jake’s Sports Café and Backroom If Luke Wade looks familiar, that’s probably due to his stint on Team Pharrell during season 7 of The Voice.

And while formally you could only see him on TV, now you can catch him live as he trades NBC for the LBK…at least for the evening. Come check out the native Texan—who specializes in a pop-folk sound— with his band, No Civilians, when they roll into town on the tenth. No word on whether or not Pharrell will be there to cheer him on.

JAN 3 SAM RIGGS AND MIKE RYAN @ Wild West Lubbock JAN 5 ALISA BEYER @ Bash Riprock’s

JAN 12 KEVIN HOES @ Bash Riprock’s

JAN 24 WADE BOWEN @ Wild West Lubbock

JAN 17 GRANGER SMITH @ Wild West Lubbock

JAN 26 FAYUCA @ Bash Riprock’s

JANUARY

JAN 28 DARK TRANQUILITY @ Jake’s Sports Café and Backroom JAN 10 ADAM FEARS @ Wild West Lubbock

JAN 30 CODY JOHNSON @ Wild West Lubbock

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 53

MUSIC AROUND TEXAS: SAN ANTONIO JAN 17 ZZ TOP @ Majestic Theatre Fear the beards! This month, world-renowned rockers ZZ Top are hitting San Antonio’s Majestic Theatre for not one, but two, nights of performances. While we’re certain you’ve at least heard of the Rock and Roll Hall of Famers—who’ve been playing together for 40+ years—we suggest you take advantage of this awesome opportunity to see the legends live. Because 2015 should be the year you incorporate some classics into your musical diet…at least until the next Taylor Swift album drops.

JANUARY

JAN 10 SHINE ON! THE PINK FLOYD EXPERIENCE @ The Aztec Theatre

JAN 10 SERV C @ 502 Bar JAN 19 JONNY CRAIG @ The Korova

JAN 2 WHISKEY BLISS @ Retox JAN 3 ROCKSTAR RIOT @ Retox

JAN 14 MARC BROUSSARD @ Sam’s Burger Joint

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JAN 27 TESLA @ The Aztec Theatre

JAN 29 BIG HEAD TODD & THE MONSTERS @ The Aztec Theatre

MUSIC AROUND TEXAS: SAN MARCOS JAN 24 WHISKEY MYERS @ Gruene Hall Ring in the new year—granted, three weeks late, but whatever—with an awesome show, courtesy of Whiskey Myers.

This five-guy band produces a sweet hybrid of country and Southern rock that is best exemplified in tunes like their latest single, “Early Morning Shakes,” and this month you have a chance to hear it all live when they hit SM. (One thing to keep in mind: their music may or may not pair well with a certain spirit…we’ll let you figure out which one.)

JAN 2 MIKE JUNGERS @ Triple Crown JAN 10 CODY JOHNSON @ Gruene Hall JAN 13 PARDO & REED @ Cheatham Street Warehouse

JAN 17 MIKE & THE MOON @ Cheatham Street Warehouse

JAN 17 RECKLESS KELLY @ Gruene Hall

JAN 31 SCOTT H. BIRAM @ Triple Crown JAN 31 JEREMY LOGAN @ Evans Auditorium

JAN 31 CODY MORROW @ Gruene Hall

JANUARY

JAN 15 SHANE SMITH @ Cheatham Street Warehouse

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 55

ONE TO WATCH

chriszurichmusic

WORDS PROVIDED BY: CHRIS ZURICH PHOTO: PAUL STANEK

newwestsound chriszurich.com

16 THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT

CHRIS ZURICH

If you’re a fan of Coldplay or Radiohead, check out this talented artist, who shares some fun facts with us here...

01| GOOD GENES My mother was named one of the “100 most dangerous minds in America,” but she’s actually super tame and falls asleep watching TV with a glass of wine every night.

06| BACK TO FRONT Some of my songs have actually been written backwards to forwards, starting at the end.

07| MOST IMPROVED Nowadays I get compliments on my singing

02| BAND BACKGROUND I played in a band called New West, but we were given a cease and desist by the record label named New West Records. This played a role in breaking up the band, and I still hold a grudge against the label.

03| FAMILY AFFAIR We’re not 100% certain of our family’s background because my grandfather was found on a doorstep and is thought to be the product of a bishop and a prostitute having an affair.

04| ITS A SIGN I claim to not believe in astrology, except that the first dog I owned was born on the same day as me and had the exact same personality as me, so I secretly believe in its validity.

05| INKED UP The name of my first record was Black Ink and had a picture of an octopus on the cover. It was symbolic to me because I was learning to be more open in my writing and not use defense mechanisms.

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

voice, but when I was starting out singing, my voice teacher thought I was so bad that there was something wrong with my hearing. And this is why I believe the concept of natural talent is a myth.

11| SNACK ATTACK My favorite food is anything that mixes sweet and salty at the same time.

12| FORGET ABOUT IT I was so forgetful as a child (I like to believe there is a link between this and creativity), that my mom had to tie items to my wrist with a string, so I wouldn’t forget them on the school bus.

13| WEST PHILADELPHIA BORN & RAISED

08| DEATH METAL PAST I used to play in a death metal band in high school and still think the influence is apparent in my current music, but most people just think I’m crazy.

09| PARTY FOUL Years ago I was called up on stage at the legendary Apollo Theater but was too drunk and was booed off the stage.

10| FILLING IN THE BLANKS A lot of the songs I’ve written are based on melodies I wrote when I was 17 years old. I left them without words because I didn’t think I had enough life experience to do them justice, and am only starting to fill them in now.

I used to live in West Philadelphia, a couple blocks away from where Will Smith was born and raised, and around the corner from where American Bandstand was broadcast.

14| HIPPIE HOUSE This year I moved to Jersey City into a giant artist commune where I live with 12 other roommates, who just sit around all day braiding each other’s hair and feeding one another figs.

15| DEEP THINKER I studied Philosophy in school.

16| PITCH PERFECT I used to be obsessed with baseball as a kid and was a good pitcher, until I broke my throwing arm from coaches over-using me. And that’s when my interest switched over to music.

LISTEN NOW!

SPINS

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST BY: SAM SUMPTER

MUSIC YOU NEED TO KNOW 10 SONGS ON OUR RADAR RIGHT NOW academyliverpool.eu.uk

youtube.com

03 CATFISH AND THE BOTTLEMEN

07 JULY TALK

“COCOON” Cocoon

“PAPER GIRL” Guns and Ammunition

WANT MORE? Find us on Spotify (username: studybreaksmagazine) and check out our Editor’s Picks playlist!

sonic1029.com

sophv.com

08 REY PILA

04 RURAL ALBERTA ADVANTAGE “DON’T HAUNT THIS PLACE” Hometowns

blastmagazine.com

pitch.com

01 WILDCAT! WILDCAT!

modcitymag.com

05 GENERATIONALS

“CIRCUIT BREAKER” No Moon At All

02 THE DISTRICTS “LONG DISTANCE” The Districts

09 ARKELLS

“IT TOOK A MINUTE” Alix

ticketfly.com

fatpossum.com

“NO LONGER FUN” Rey Pila

“LEATHER JACKET” High Noon

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06 WILD PARTY

“TAKE MY ADVICE” Phantom Pop

10 THE TRAGIC THRILLS “CRAZY” The Tragic Thrills

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 57

BUZZ

WORDS: SAHAR WALJI

FILM indiecurrent.com

MUSIC TIME | MIKKY EKKO Expected Release: Jan 20 You might remember Mikky Ekko as the he to Rihanna’s she in the hit song “Stay.” Well, homeboy has finally gone solo, and this month he’ll be sharing his angelic voice with the world via the release of his 12-track album, Time. If you haven’t heard Mikky Ekko’s unique sound yet, drop everything and Spotify one of his songs—we recommend “Smile”—ASAP. Preferably in a large, cavernous room…you know, where the sound will really…ekko. (Sorry, sorry.)

filmdivider.com

TAKEN 3 Expected Release: Jan 9 This month, Liam Neeson reprises his role as former CIA operative Bryan Mills in what we hope is the final installment in the Taken series. Despite the repetitive nature of the films, the third is still worth watching…primarily to witness Liam Neeson prove once again why his picture is in the dictionary next to the word “badass.” Break out the popcorn and make sure to re-watch the first two movies before you go—you know, so you can really understand the premise behind all the punching.

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS Expected Season Premiere: Jan 6

hdwallpapersinn.com

TV

AROUND THE WEB

Pretty Little Liars is back to serve as our guilty pleasure—and confuse the crap out of us— for yet another season. Tune in this month to enjoy the antics of the show’s illogical, ridiculously bougie, high school teenagers as they attempt to take on the evil forces of A’s aggressive texts and look damn good doing it. Will we finally find out who A is this season? Probably not. Will we watch the show regardless? Absolutely.

CAT-BOUNCE.COM

BOREDPANDA.COM

IWASTESOMUCHTIME.COM

The concept here is pretty simple: basically, cats bounce across the screen as you click and drag them around. There’s also a button that says “make it rain,” which, when pushed, just makes a bunch of cats shower down from the top of the screen. Because, the Internet.

Bored Panda is essentially an online magazine consisting of art, designs, and photography submitted by readers, and with categories like Travel, DIY, Architecture, Food Art, and Funny, there’s something interesting for everyone. In case you were wondering, the best two words to describe Bored Panda are “unique” and “creative.” Surprisingly, not “boring.”

I Waste So Much Time is a collection of random and funny things people discover on the Internet and submit to the website throughout the day.

Once submitted, the moderators serve as a filter and decide if the content is funny enough to be posted or not. After all, even your procrastination tactics deserve a screening process.

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

HAPPY HOUR

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STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 59

QUIZ

WORDS: LARISSA GARCIA-BAAB

studentcity.com

The new year is here, and that means it’s time to ask yourself the most important— and exciting—of questions: Where should I go for Spring Break? Fortunately, you don’t have to list pros and cons, ask your parents, or poll your friends to determine the ideal destination. Just take this quiz and book your ticket pronto. We know you better than you know yourself, promise.

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HOW RICH IS YOUR DAD? He complains about taxes a lot

We just bought our second mid-Autumn home in Monaco

We have a jet ski or two

I haven’t talked to my parents in months

My dad and I share the same box, so…

If I ever got an A-, life would cease to have meaning

I have an A+ in harassing people for spare change and cigarettes

HOW ARE YOUR GRADES? Eh, I do alright

I pay someone to go to class for me

I have a lot of hot nerds in my classes, so I show up

HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR FREE TIME? Tanning all day, every day

JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM

Organizing my collection of purple Fendi purses

Between the sheets

What is that?

Seriously…

Streaking around campus

QUIZ

You want to be where the action is. You’ve been dying to show off that killer cleavage—or majestic man thigh—and the idea of putting back a few (read: a lot of) cold ones in the sand with hot college students from all over the country and some DJ who sounds like all those other DJs is pure heaven.

You might even remember some of the week…maybe.

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MOSTLY B’S: SKI LODGE

Instead of down, your mattress is stuffed with $100 bills, and you just want to be around other people who understand the pure joy of champagne, supermodels, and skiing down a slope while spending the equivalent of most people’s life savings. Besides, you have to make sure you’re in the exact opposite place as all those peasants.

MOSTLY C’S: CABIN

For you, it’s all about privacy… as long as there’s someone enjoying all that alone time with you. You just want to relax during the break, and what better way to spend your time off than by getting off? A cabin is just the spot to get down and dirty (provided you don’t get axe-murdered, of course).

MOSTLY D’S: YOUR BED

You’ve worked hard this year, you’re exhausted, and—let’s be real—if you hit that hot Spring Break beach spot, you’ll probably fall asleep standing up. So chill out: stop studying for finals three months early, get your ass in a bed with some Netflix, and hibernate for a few hours…or days.

pawmygosh.com

westsidestory.net

espn.go.com

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MOSTLY A’S: BEACH

commons.wikipedia.com

IF YOU ANSWERED...

MOSTLY E’S: DUMPSTER

Who says a summer home is only for the rich? That dumpster behind that Chinese place has two-day old kung pao chicken, and you’ve always wanted to go somewhere exotic. It might even get you off the street for a few days, and god knows everyone could use a breakk from f your your persistent ersisten rsistentt panhandling ppanhandling. panha anhandling nhan handd ng. g

.

WHAT’S THE BEST PART OF WARMER WEATHER? Discovering new ways to show off my stomach

Lazy Sunday afternoons on my yacht

Less clothing=easy access

All the days kind of blend together, you know?

New and exciting kinds of trash

WHAT CHORE DO YOU ALWAYS NEGLECT? Throwing away beer bottles

All of them—that’s what maids are for

Putting my “toys” away

I’m pretty sure things are growing in my sink

No house= no chores

YOUR IDEAL ROMANTIC RENDEZVOUS IS...

In a hammock

In one of my three hot tubs

Anywhere, anytime

Only after I’ve finished my homework

By the flickering light of the trashcan fire

STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 61

FUN STUFF

CONTRIBUTED BY: PETER SCALES AND DAN KARDON

CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE?

1. Guy Holding Beer | 2. Beer Flag Missing Name | 3. Glasses | 4. USA Flag Stars Missing | 5. StudyBreaks Logo on Shirt

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed.

To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.”

He turned to the second mother, “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.”

At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, “Come on Dick, Let’s go!”

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM YB

BY THE NUMBERS: SPRING BREAK

students go to spring break every year and collectively spend over

$1,000,000,000 00,000 of woment list that as an ambition

About 500,000 students go to Panama City, Florida each year ing break provides Spring local cal businesses with about bout 40% of their iny come for the entire year About 100,000 students bring ing the break to Cancun because of the lower drinking king age and and ki lower prices on booze

75%

of students report never or rarely using a condom during Spring Break

During Spring Break, college students drink about

10 DRINKS A DAY About 2,600 Americans are arrested overseas during Spring Break because they don’t know the laws of that country

of men plan on being drunk the duration of Spring Break...

1/2 of all sexual encounters are random or unplanned

In South Padre Island, an average of 25 people are arrested per day, and about $80,000 is collected in fines

70% of men and 19% of women plan on having sex with a stranger.

HOROSCOPES

BABY, WHAT’S YOUR SIGN? ARIES AR RRIE RIES IES Yo Your

parents ent will send you ents copious amounts of money in the mail, proclaiming that you are their favorite child. But watch out, Aries: if you’re not careful and in tune with your fiery nature, you may spend it all on strippers, cocaine and vibrators.

All at once.

TAUR You will TAURUS

receive eceive ceive eive a ssign from the cosm cosmos that your next major relationship will be ruined by a mix of self-hatred, jealousy and peanut butter. It is up to you to figure out how they work together.

GEM GEMINI EMINI Tension

has as recently reecently popped up in your life. Take a few days off, and find things that will help you relax through the tough times.

Watch out for meth, though…that shit is crazy.

CANCER CCA CANCE ANCCER You

will illl have ill h hav the tth urge to follow ol ow your gut when making your next major decision.

Don’t. Your intuition is wrong, and you’re horrible at making decisions. Get your shit together.

LEO EOO The stars have aligned, a ligned ligned, igned, and an the skies kies show signs of

great things being added unto your life.

But careful, because if you keep getting those venti frappuccinos, the only thing you’ll be gaining is weight. The skies are watching. And judging.

VIRGO VIR VIRG

The stars show thatt you will ow th soon oon feel fee f l an a immense lon loneliness. one Prepare for par yourself yo an extended period of time alone, but also realize that this loneliness is probably because you got too drunk and called your best friend a raging asshole. Maybe don’t have 12 shots of chocolate vodka next time.

LIBRA IBRA You’ve been SAGIT SAGITTARIUS GI very ery ry angr an angry lately.

Yourr m mood has been shifting and you’ve been ostracizing your friends and peers. There is one thing you must do to right yourself again: just stop being a bitch, okay?

It’s not that hard.

SCORPIO SCOR SC COORP Lately CCOR yyou u ’ been feeling you’ve veryy in i touch with your sensual side.

Embrace it! Wear the sexiest outfits you have and sleep with whoever you want! Ya know…as long as it’s consensual.

There here seem seems to be a giant iant co coming into your life, and you should most likely go into hiding. It could be emotional distress, a bad financial situation, or even a failing relationship. Though it’s probably that huge bodybuilder you insulted in the gym a few days ago. Avoid him at all costs.

CAPRICORN CAPRI AAPR AP P PR

There There re iis only o one thing you need to know: beware of oatmeal at all costs.

right now, so seek out the things that make you most happy and allow those to heal your soul. Except murder, Sagittarius—don’t do that.

PISCES PIS PISC SCE

There seems eems ems tto bbe someone who is preventing you from achieving your full potential, Pisces.

Identify this person, and remove them from your life. Whatever it takes. Again…except murder.

AQUARIUS AAQU QU

The e iis a feeling of There emptiness in your life in in STUDYBREAKS.COM | JANUARY 2015 | 63

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JANUARY 2015 | STUDYBREAKS.COM